Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - College Girls w/ Bad Friends Rudy

Episode Date: August 23, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: Fansly - Go to https://fansly.com and sign up today for exclusive content from your favorite creatorsRocket Money - Start canceling your unused subscriptions and save money at https://rocketmoney.com/trashtuesdayBetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday More Bad Friends RudyBad Friends Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/BadFriends Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Bad Friends Rudy Joins For Our College Theme11:03 Bad Friends Rudy in School Theatre 16:55 Bad Friends Rudy Tells Us What She Thinks of Us21:48 Armie Hammer Cannibalism & Getting Intimate With Pillows30:12 Big Weddings, Short Marriages & Outing Cheaters on TikTok34:24 Bad Friends Rudy Asks Esther About the Ick Factor37:19 Going Number Two in the Wilderness 42:08 Bad Friends Rudy’s Dating Advice From Her Family44:34 Our Alma Maters & College Parties49:10 Nakey Moms 57:19 Showering With Family or Friends1:00:26 Khalyla on the Swim Team at UNLV & Esther Sober at a Frat Party1:03:40 Carlos Negotiates With Khalyla & College Party Stunts1:07:26 Bad Friends Rudy’s 21st Birthday & the Jules Rules1:10:26 Annie Calls Her Parents to Ask an Important Question1:14:21 Going Without Clothes at Home1:17:15 Our 21st Birthdays 1:26:34 Nick Cannon’s Controversial Take On Women Hygiene  Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende

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with Rocket Money. Start canceling your unused subscriptions and save money at rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Now a word from our sponsor BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat only therapy sessions so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't have to and it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. That's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Hello slugs and slugettes. It's me, your favorite comedian. We have quite a show for you coming up. But before that, let's get to business. Okay,

I'm on family vacation. Sick as hell. don't worry about what's in my cup it's my cup you can see me i'll be refreshed and ready this september early september you can see me the 9th through 10th in at the pittsburgh improv i'll then be at the la jolla comedy store in september i will also be at the tempe improv you can then see me oh september 30th one night only at the Tempe Improv. You can then see me, oh, September 30th, one night only at the Coluso Casino Baby. I will then in October the 7th through 8th, I will be in Kansas City at the Improv. I'll be at the Irvine Improv October 20th. The San Jose Improv November 11th through 12th. I'll be in Michigan in December and in Florida at the end of December right before Christmas. December and in Florida at the end of December right before Christmas go to annieletterman.com slash shows to find out also catch me on my Spotify audio show each Monday 5 p.m uh PST

don't bore me where it's your turn to not bore me you can find that on the Spotify live app all right love you guys you guys in less than a month I'm going to be in austin at cap city comedy club september 16th and 17th then i'm going to phoenix arizona seattle and portland oh my god literally all my favorite places you can get tickets at esther on ice.com and this friday i'm launching my solo podcast it's called my pleasure and it's available wherever you listen to podcasts audio only i mean it didn't work the ketamine didn't work guy the ketamine did not work and um i feel like i um i'm trying a new approach to um staying centered i'm trying to what do you call it? Like, um, um, bee, bees. Grounding? No, butthole.

Oh, the sun, sunning asshole? Bee sunning? I don't know what the actual term, I don't, is that the medical term? I think, uh, JT. You're searching for a medical term and you're coming up with something. No, it's a JT and Chad, um, term, I think. It's bee hole sunning. Wait, is it real?

I've been seeing this. Do we need to be sunning our buttholes? Is that really true? I feel like yours is dark enough. What do you mean? I've been seeing this. Do we need to be sunning our buttholes? Is that really true? I feel like yours is dark enough. What do you mean? You know. There's a lot of hair it has to go through. Oh, that's true.

Jules, what color is your butthole? Like black. Yeah, mine's pretty dark. Mine is, I'm multiracial, if you see my asshole. Apparently, Stella Berry, who hopefully we'll have on the show soon, and she explains it really well with scientific terms like haplogenes as to why certain people have purple kitties, as she calls it. It's a gene?

It's a gene. It's a gene. I think it's like a Mediterranean gene. So I'm super Mediterranean, just so you guys know. My assholes. Actually, do you want to check mine? Why me? Oh, my God.

Okay, never mind. You wouldn't make your niece do that? It's so funny. She is the Filipina version of you. This is actually so, this is like a. Wait, you think Esther would say no to seeing my asshole? If you were related to her, maybe. Yeah.

Wait, that's so funny that that's who you choose. I don't have anyone else in the house what if you guys have opposite color assholes like your assholes her skin color and her you're like a yin yang these are the yin yang twins you guys we have a very special guest today i think the most special of all time she she never wants to be anywhere we ask her to be she doesn't want to be on bad friends she doesn't want to be on tiger belly she certainly doesn't wants to be anywhere we ask her to be she doesn't want to be on bad friends she doesn't want to be on tiger belly she certainly doesn't want to be on here but we're happy to have her anyways she's my um little helper my little life helper um my niece and everyone knows her by um

bad friend rudy everyone jules aka rudy can i know the background of why you got rudy it was just random it's just too andrew just said that I look like Rudy. From the. Giuliani. Giuliani. Really? Yeah, and so he named me that. That's actually so much funnier than anything.

I'm so happy that didn't happen to me. I feel like that would have been me. We, but, okay. You would be, they would call you. Bannon. Danny DeVito. Oh, yeah. I want to be Bannon.

I love his clothes. I would love to share a wardrobe in his closet. Wait. I always think of you as a child, but I feel like you might not be. That's how everyone talks to you. You guys use the exact term everyone speaks to you. Fully projecting. Are you a child or not?

I'm 20, so I don't know if that's... Do you feel like a child? No. What do you feel like? Mature, not like baby. But how long have you felt that way? Adult, like an adult? Yeah.

I think when I came here to the US. I would say you were kind of a baby still when you first came here. How old were you when i came here to the u.s she i would say you were kind of a baby still when you first came here how old were you when you came here 17 17 you were 16 the first time did you have an unaccompanied minor pass when you flew over yeah oh my god they made you wear that jewels the pink slip but the oh my it's always like you're a little too old for it right or it was like this is like creepy why are you at me? Just like a bunch of pilots looking at you. But she had to travel 24 hours across the world. So I think that was the most adult thing you could have done.

And was that exciting for you? The first time I was like, hey, you got to fly alone. Had you flown anywhere before? Had you visited before? No. Only like the islands in the Philippines but not outside which is only like 45 minutes.

If we were to like hang out what do you think we would do? Like we just She's so disgusted with that. Like we just you? Yeah. I think she's horrified. Let me just tell you

you'd somehow end up folding her thing. I don't know how that would happen you'd be cleaning up donuts puke I like would we like go out for milkshakes

like what do kids our age do Esther I can assure you that she has a much more active adult life than all of us really

last time I saw her she was going to the Harry Styles concert yeah Harry Styles yeah do you like Harry Styles concert. Yeah, Harry Styles. Yeah. Do you like Harry Styles? I do now.

Do you now? Wait, so Harry Styles is cool? Yeah, Harry Styles is cool. Do you like Enemy? Yeah. You know how biracial people, like, feel like they don't fit in in either race? You're like that with age because there's nowhere in between. You're like, am I little or big?

I know. I'm trying to figure it out. Thank you. Thank you. between. You're like, am I little or big? I know. I'm trying to figure it out. Thank you. Yes. Annie, thank you. I feel very seen. That was a very, very – that's how I felt my whole life. It's like belonging everywhere but nowhere at all.

Yeah. That's how I feel about loud and quiet. What? I'm a loud person, but I identify as quiet. But I want everyone else to be quiet around me. Wait, isn't today supposed to be a college-themed episode? I feel like Annie and I showed up, but our two little babies didn't. Because I dress like I'm in college every day.

It is actually true. This is like the least college you've ever looked. Well, that's, well, because I was digging through my closet. I'm like, how do I dress like college? And then I realized everything was college. And then somehow I ended up in this. I don't know.

But pajama bottoms. Yeah. It's pajama bottoms. It's always. But everyone's now just dressing college. Do people still wear pajama bottoms out in college? I've never seen anyone wear pajamas. Why are you looking at us like that?

It's so rude. Wait, what about if they're living in the dorms in the dorm maybe just in the dorms but not in class pajama pants feel very midwest to me like i feel like when i lived in the midwest i saw them out in the real world all the time and now i think sweatpants like sweatpants have replaced them but it used to be like you would wear like patterned ugly ass ass, bright pajama bottoms. Slides with socks too. It was very college.

I almost wore that today. Mine, I did slides with Birks. There was a lot of bikinis. I remember my friend and I would like be on the quad in bikinis. We thought it was funny. Just when I thought we couldn't be more different, she hits me with that. And I remember the school pastor who was maybe the thing you bleeped out. Who's the school pastor?

She was this woman pastor. She had purple hair. She was like, put you bleeped out. Who's the school pastor? She was this woman pastor with, she had purple hair. She was like, put some clothes on girls. And we were like, we're never going to be lame like her. And now I'm like, I feel like I would probably be the, put some clothes on girls. No, I never would. Wait, what were your like dreams and aspirations before heading out into college? Were you like, what were your expectations? Did you know for sure what college you were going to go to? Did you commit? You are talking to the wrong two girls. No, I had big plans, bitch. I had big plans. Because I mean, high school was such a horror show for you. I imagine you had maybe some. No, I liked it. It was fun to get jizzed on

by my teacher. Are you kidding me? How boring was your high school? are you kidding me how boring was your high school mine was really fun and sparkly it was fun i got jackson pollock i loved it um no i wanted to be well i had taken a year off and i had done all this like service work in other countries and stuff not christian but just non-denominational service work there is non-denominational service work yeah it was just like this program i went on where we did i think i told you guys this we did like the sea turtle thing that's where i grew to hate sea turtles sea turtle vagina specifically the pussy juice was it has a very pungent smell that i'll never get rid of i i caught the eggs of it still on your skin you can't get it off it It feels like, yeah, I'm like, get off, damn pussy juice.

I think that was a Shakespeare thing. It's Macbeth, yeah. She's like, wrong girl, theater major. And we know exactly what she was doing. I would have loved to be Lady Macbeth, but I was Witch 3, the slutty witch. I'm surprised you weren't just the skull. They didn't just hold you up. Wait, Jules was in theater. No, don't say that.

That is good to be embarrassed. That is good to be embarrassed that's good to be embarrassed good for you but wait can i give you some advice though okay i was like you too cool to admit of theater dreams but then this one just went with it and look at her she's a movie star no i'm not but i was witch three and i did make her the slutty witch and that was not scripted and it really did you is that where you got your hair maybe i wore purple eyeshadow it was really cool that's your big slutty move i was wearing purple eyeshadow at birth bitch but do you guys know jules was legit in theater what happened did you need an elective or you wanted it um yeah i needed an

elective and then at the class i just tried tried theater. Wait, no, no, no. Let's be honest. You said they're holding auditions. And I was like, are you interested? Oh, my God. You're such a stage mom. I didn't force her into it, Jules. You said they're holding auditions.

And then I said, are you interested? And what did you say? I said, maybe. She said, I want to be a star. Did you dance and sing around the room? She sang. I sang. Wait, you got in the play?

Yeah, but like not the major roles. I was just like a scrub. Esther was really trying and she only- I've been a tree in a play before. So this is- I'm sorry. You were a shrub. A tree.

The shortest tree of all time. An oak tree, Esther. I was a tree in ballet. Like, yeah, no, I never got big roles. That's why I messed up as an adult. I got, I was the, there's Hester. I was, that actually kind of looks like you. It's like if you two had a baby.

I was the usher once. Oh, that's a very important role. No, no, no, no, no. They didn't even let me on the stage. They cast me as the usher. Wait, you can't get cast as usher. No, no, no, no, no. They didn't even let me on the stage. They cast me as the usher. Wait, you can't get cast as the usher. No, no, they did when they were like, you're not going to be in this play, young lady.

We thank you for auditioning. We're going to make you the fucking usher. We know you're available on these dates, so we're going to actually put you to work for free. Oh, my God. To look at the cast list and then see usher. I think it was even a second column. It was like me and my brother were the only ones. But it was for Annie and I went in for the audition. And I, of course,

don't want to sing. You know how embarrassed I am to sing, right? But I practiced. I had a little cassette, Annie, and I practiced and I practiced, but with no help, you know, just alone in my room, thinking that whatever confidence I built in the room would stay in front of a room full of people staring at me. So then I went right back to being like way more embarrassed than before I'd been embarrassed. And I sang and I think it was the other one, Tomorrow, that I sang. It's a hard night.

It's a hard night. Like I could have done it like that. But Annie, this one, you really have to belt out. It's a hard, these are hard songs. This is a hard one. And they go,

why do you think you should get it? And I go, because I'm Annie. No one laughed. Usher. Turns out they thought I was a black R&B singer because I became an usher. I think your song choice was really good and emotional. Did you know what the play was ahead of time before you auditioned?

No, I didn't know it. What did it turn out to be? So you could pick anything? You could pick any song? It was just something rotten at the end. Oh, right, right. And then it's called Something Rotten. Yeah. And then what's called Something Rotten. Yeah.

And then what was your audition song? It was the Lumineers. What was it? Hey Ho. Dead Sea. Dead Sea. Yeah, Dead Sea. A super emotional song.

I think that's why you got it. It was very like you chose like a song that like really digs deep. Okay, you are really transforming in front of my eyes into like an embarrassing. Stage mom. No, look at her. We understand why she's doing this most of her life. Because you're so happy and proud. I know I am.

It's like so sweet. And she's just like so cringed out. She hates all of it. She couldn't. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. Like if my, when my mom talks about my dancing, it's like the worst thing that could ever –

Oh, my God. Can we call her and have her do it right now? No, because realistically, it'll not be nice. Oh, my God. You're just making up that your mom said nice things about you? No, sometimes she would be positive about it, but yeah, no. Jules, do you think it was a mistake that we sent you to a Christian school? No, because even if I had, like, Bible classes and, like, had to go to, like, church every Wednesday, I never really, like, cared about it.

But I remember having to listen to you, like, learn the Bible. Yeah, like, I have to, like, memorize all the verses and, like, interpret it. And then, yeah, it was was stupid but i don't really care interpret it is very cute way to say interpreted she's got your cute little but cuter but slightly cute oh no don't get jealous i know oh my god she's gonna steal uh brad pitt from amitra or whatever um excuse me did you not see my text to you guys yes but do you know that we actually did that right yes okay one week we talked about emirata one week we did the next week we talked about brad pitt and now they're together so they are there's rumors that brad pitt and emirata are

she doesn't want to get sued i don't want to get sued no i'm just kidding but um i was actually rooting for and i think carlos and I and our other friends talked about this, Emrata and Pete Davidson. That seemed like it made the most sense. No? No. Why? Pete's done.

Yeah, Pete's done. He's just all over. He's like fucked everyone. He's like 24. It's disgusting. Wait, should Kalilah date Pete Davidson? Maybe. Oh my God, that's so funny.

That's the one. We both have colitis. It will not work. You need dual bathrooms. You need to have the second so funny. That's the one. We both have colitis. It will not work. You need dual bathrooms. You need to have the second, the bathrooms next to each other. Yeah, we need to have two toilets side by side. Someone, I think it was Yanis Papa who was like, I think he should try for Michelle Obama next.

I was like, well, at this rate, that sort of makes sense. Now, Jules, what do you think of uh us are we like creepy old people to you no i think you're cool really the fact that we have to ask this i ask her every day by the way like am i still cool am i still relevant and she says yes and she's like yeah you're still okay yeah like there's some like same people your age it's like really choogy and just not cool and just lame. Is she talking about me? No.

No, I know I'm cool, baby. I'm not Esther going, am I cool? Am I cool? Today's podcast is brought to you by Fansly, an innovative, adult-friendly platform allowing you to connect intimately with content creators. Think TikTok, but for spicy content and exclusive access to your faves. Follow, subscribe, message creators to chat one-on-one, unlock pay-per-views you definitely won't see anywhere else, and discover new favorites on Fansly's For You page, where new creators are suggested based on the ones

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on unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply statement mobile for details. I did realize it's funny because, okay, so Bonnie McFarlane, who was on the show, who's a friend of mine, she's older than me, but her daughter is 14. She's turned 14. And since she was three, I've been trying to get like her approval. And then probably Bonnie was like, since she was three. Well, because she's literally the meanest child I've ever met in my life. She's so funny and mean. She was raised by South Park. And by, oh, sorry, I mean family guys. So she has like punchlines. And she hurts you.

And then like, I think when she was around 10, Bonnie was like, why do you want the approval of my daughter? I was like, oh, I guess that's a good point. And then I gave up thinking, this will get her. I'll give up. It hasn't worked. Actually, you're right though. All good. I mean, now that I know I'm cool, it's easier to give up.

Wait, Rudy, I have a question. You called bad friends cringe. Getting the tattoo would be cringe. Yeah, because it's cringe. Like the word bad friends. What about Trash Tuesday? You're getting tattooed. We're going to fire you. No, I'm not getting tattooed. We're going to fire you. You tuesday you're getting tattooed we're gonna fire you we're gonna fire you you're saying people who get tattooed no just a bad friend's tattoo what the

oh because you guys all wanted to get them yeah it's lame yes it is good for you jules it is lame yeah yeah are you getting it carlos are you getting it pete no they wanted her to get one and she and andrew was just kind of upset because she kept calling bad friends cringe. So good. We love you for that. Do you think he's upset because it rhymes with ginge? Oh, gosh. Jules, one of the topics that we've held off talking about until we had you was Armie Hammer and cannibalism.

Yeah. And I want you to tell the girls just your general thoughts on cannibalism and where you stand on it. I don't support it but like if it's like in like a sexual way and the both partners consent and that it's just

like role play I guess it's fine but are you eating flesh of another person or it's like are you swallowing you're saying it's imaginary spit or swallow

yeah imaginary ah spit okay good girl that's a good Gen Z answer I mean I was asking about this but oh

um but just generally what happened we just Good girl. That's a good Gen Z answer. I mean, I was asking about this, but. Oh. But just generally. What happened? We just. Do you. Are any of you even remotely curious as to what any type of human meat would taste? No. Not at all.

I told you the way I'll eat it. I'll eat it if someone died and they donated their exact meat to me. They'd have to like. I want Annie Letterman to eat me. Okay. I want to talk more I'll eat it. I'll eat it if someone died and they donated their exact meat to me. They'd have to like sign a consent. I want Annie Letterman to eat me. Okay. I want to talk more about this though. So you are so wise that you're viewing it as a sexual fantasy right off the gate. Yeah. Because isn't it sexual, him and the other girl i think the yes i mean in theory

you can be anything you want if both parties agree yeah right but if both party agrees that it's imaginary and the other person is actually chewing meat off of your body he wants to like eat her yeah like then there's a there's a difference between someone actually like eating your baby toe. Okay. Then maybe no. It's just if your toe would grow back, I'm down. You know what I mean? Like shark teeth?

You're going to give your fucking toe to some schmuck actor? Would any of us – I'm just trying to get myself into character here. I would any of us I'm just trying to get myself into character here. Like, could any of us get turned on by a role play where there's cannibalism involved? Like, would I want a guy to eat me? What if it's two girls? I would I think I feel like I would eat girls. It has to be good for you.

Can I ask the boys a question? Now, cannibalism. I just want you to know where my ADD brain went cannibalism triggered the word cantaloupe now there was a kid in my high school who said he fucked a cantaloupe he put a carved a hole in it and fucked it Carlos have you fucked a cantaloupe I feel like of all you'd be the perfect

cantaloupe fucking candidate would you do you believe him I fucked like a pillow before and how like rubbing my dick against it like just inserting it that's more of like you didn't like get duct tape involved i actually thought it'd be a really good only fans if i was like if i fucked pillows i was like oh i wonder if i could make a lot of money i feel like you could, though, honestly. I don't know what you mean by really good.

But it would be really something. Well, you just gave it a free commercial. Good job. Well, to that I want to say I've never had a penis before, if you can believe that. The shoulders are making it really tough. But I – The jawline fucking feathers does not seem like

it would feel remotely pleasurable against my imaginary penis dry humping do you stick them to your after you cum

do you stick them do tar and feather your penis no do you call it little bird hey little bird no it's more

like the friction feels soft against my dick to the pillow this is current this is not a while ago yeah this is like last night yeah oh yeah i will definitely do it not like last night but like well i had a friend who used to you guys masturbate without toys right i don't need to bother you with this no we'll bother her okay oh my god she's a grown-up you're right she's a grown up. But I had a friend who was like, you have to masturbate only with your hand,

with your knuckle, and you have to lay on your stomach and do it. And I remember doing that for like a month and then I was like, I'm just going to get more batteries. Like, is this really, I can't drive to Rite Aid? Also, if you don't have very long arms

and imagine you having to really stretch. But you're not going like, you're not fisting inside. It's just on the clit. I know, but some people, you have long arms. You and have long arms some people are t-rexes they can't get down there that in that way she's trying to yeah um carlos i have a suggestion for your only fans i think that you should get pillow sponsors and you should try out different brands and then really rank them and say hey guys this week i'm

using a target pillow and um next week i'm doing brooklinen or something i feel so grossed out by this whole thing if carlos is the one to come out of this show with an only fans we've all failed i feel like we know i feel like we have to get a percentage of it though oh i like where you're headed okay and then i'm fine with it. I'll hook you up, Annie. Trash Tuesday presents. Not like with a, he's like, I'll hook you up with a subscription. I don't want to see it. No, you could be like tier three or something.

We need like. I send you a note every month. That's really sweet. Oh my God. You're like, guys, I'm DMing this. Winky face. Get ready for your DMs. Would you guys ever want to eat a girl in a sexual fantasy?

Is that like the ultimate domination or something? I think that's what it is, the ultimate domination. And no. Pete's all quiet. He's like, I'm married. I can't talk about this. Pete's always quiet. The answer is no.

The answer is no. Well, I wonder like I've had guys that are like, I've never had a guy that's like psyched when I'm on my period to have sex but i know there are guys out there that probably really like it maybe they like the metal blood taste or something i'm into it the heme the heme is the taste yeah does it get in your wings you actually have red wings because it gets in your wing hair i don't think i would want to participate in a role-playing fantasy where the person is eating me. I don't – I'm like, that's – you're taking my body off. It's just like cheesy when someone's like, mmm, yummy.

I don't like that when people are like, mmm, delicious, yummy. What about this, guys? What about if Brad Pitt finally calls and says, hey, hey i you got to do whatever the fuck he asks okay that's what i'm saying right that's not our problem that's yours what part of my body should go first we well first of all okay you know she said your nose she's gonna be a fucking hole in my god then she just has the whole face have you seen the guy what's the guy the what's his name i feel like carlos knows the guy that It's just going to be a fucking hole in my face. Oh my God. Then she just has the whole face. Have you seen the guy?

What's the guy? What's his name? I feel like Carlos knows. The guy that cut his nose off and slit his tongue and has all the tattoos. Black something project. Something black project. He cut his nose off and tattooed it. Yeah, he just made himself a freak. Like he just made himself a freak.

So you think my nose should go first. But I don't like the look of no nose. Not like a finger i was thinking like yeah more something where we're not seeing it oh my god you're gonna act like a toe isn't a big problem after what you put us through when you broke your toe i was thinking like biting you know if if a guy's gonna eat you you want him to like bite out your thighs yeah like a chunk of my thigh, I think. Show the nose. Show the nose. This is what you want. You want her nose to look like that. The lips being gone is gross, but also kind of amazing. Wait, did he, the lip thing, did he sew half of his mouth?

I don't know. Or is that just how he's smiling? I don't know, but he looked pretty normal before. I kind of, I think this body modification is cool. Do your thing. Do your thing. My mom is so freaked out since I started weed that I'm like this crazy drug addict. I should go home and take this guy and be like, this is my new husband.

Look, he cut his fingers off to have claws. I just don't know why you would fuck with your ability to like do things. Especially, well, he clearly, he's never going to cut his own thumb off because you need opposable thumbs to get most things done, especially to hold that phone like that. Go back to the last picture. You know he wasn't going to choose his thumbs. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah.

Maybe the other fingers could just go. Well, which one would we offer to Brad? This is the beginning of the end of Esther. Just these, Esther? Wait, I was thinking about you getting your boob job out. Yeah. I really want to commend you. That is like so to change your mind on something that's such a big deal is huge. Only two years, actually under two years. I like that. It's like when people get divorced and you're like, you know, I'm kind of fucking proud of you, dude. Like, you know, even better. I had a friend

who got a divorce six months after her, honestly, the most expensive wedding I had ever seen in my life dude slipped up he cheated she was like fuck this fuck everything goodbye was it Mario Lopez do you remember when Mario Lopez and Ali Laundrie were married for like one day no yeah and then the guy the people from One Tree Hill did the same thing it's like these guys get caught cheating like the day after the wedding. It's so crazy. It's like, what are you fucking a maid at the honeymoon? Sally Laundry.

It's like Laundry. Landry, I think. He cheated on her at his bachelor party. That's how she found out. She was like the pop Dorito girl, remember? Well, I want to ask you guys this question about TikTok. Do you know how like there is a whole

section of TikTok that outs cheating men or cheating spouses where they're like hey if if your man was at a bachelor party

in Vegas this weekend and his name's Steve and he had so and so friends just so you know like he fucked my homegirl Letty you know what I mean

like I saw one that was a guy I almost duetted it because it was so funny Just so you know, like he fucked my homegirl, Letty. You know what I mean? No, there's a – I saw one that was a guy. That's what they call me. I almost duetted it because it was so funny how degrading he was being to the bride and I wanted to pretend it was me. He was like, she was pathetic. She was trying to fuck all my friends. I think I saw that one.

It was so funny. What do we think of that? Is there just a – I don't know. It's like theris hansen but like the marriage version well it's because you don't know what they're they've agreed to yeah you also don't know what she's doing on her bachelor you know what i mean it's like it's i think they're funny tiktoks but who's really gonna like see that and be like wait a second i think that was so-and-so. Okay, let's paint the picture. Annie, you and Todd are engaged, right?

You're not doing a dual bachelor, bachelorette party like Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro. I can't imagine that. That we're separated? Okay. And so – Exactly. He's without me? No.

And so, exactly. He's without me? No. And so, someone on TikTok's like, hey, if your dude was in, where would Todd be? In Jersey? Vegas. Oh, Vegas. Come on, we're both in Vegas.

We're having dual bachelor parties, but we are going to end up in the same room at the end of the night, probably. Right. So, but if you see a TikTok, hey, you know, if your boyfriend's name is Todd and he was at the, you know, at the Circle Bar at Cosmopolitan, blah, blah, blah. Just so you know, like, my friend gave him a blowjob in the bathroom. Like, how would you, as a woman, like, how would you take that information? Is it, like, over? Is it? I just don't.

I can't even imagine this happening yeah me neither by the way as i was saying it i was like this is like i could imagine me sending like i've looked at his dms it's there's nothing happening it's so boring it's like there's no excitement in that realm like he i'm so in such a secure relationship it's i know that there's going to be guys at home they're like that's what they cheat but yeah i don't know why i went into my tony that's what they cheat um i feel like mine would be like we saw your fiance dave he was begging someone to hook up with his wife so he didn't marry her he was like playing poke i mean that would just be i mean i literally showed up at his bachelor party and he was high in his room watching the news.

Our boyfriends are very into gambling too. Like they like to play poker and stuff. So they would be using the time to like make money or try to win a game. Yeah. Wait, he's already had a bachelor party? Yeah. This was back when he thought we were actually going to have a wedding and get married. How long? And then you started COVID so you didn't have to and then you came up with this and then i

met out with a bat and wait how long ago did he have his bachelor party like three or four years ago i have a question what how long have you been together with your with Dave? That's exactly how Dave feels too. 10 years. Do you get like an ick from him? Or like... We were just talking about this. Okay, so yes, I actually do get an ick factor. But I also think that i'm not like basically i was literally just at a party

where my friend and dave were arguing because she like is very sensitive to the ick yeah and dave was like the ick is made up and it's bullshit and it's just a way for you guys to humiliate us but i do get the ick explain the ick. The ick is a, well, the ick is this. It's like when you, when you're first meeting a guy and he does something so mundane, so silly, like he plugs his nose

when he jumps in the pool and it's like an irreversible, I will never, ever date you feeling. Like it's over. They find themselves with like a movement. Yes.

Whitney famously talks about this, how like a guy tripped on a first date and she was like, no. But it's over they find themselves with like a movement yes whitney famously talks about this how like a guy tripped on a first date and she was like no but it's here's the thing about the ick though i think if you get the ick 10 years in or years into the relationship you're not out it's just an acknowledgement of i hate that little thing he did but i'm sticking it out like i'm here i think the ick has like a zone of time where it could affect you. And I think like if you get an ick in the first three months or maybe even the first month, like then you'll be like. Because they're still forming your feelings.

Exactly. But 10 years in, I definitely get it. I get the ick and I'm just like, whatever. You just live with it. I think my ick for when i was with bobby was when like years years there aren't a lot there are so many believe it or not it wasn't the the the fecal matter in the car it wasn't any of that it was it was him dipping one day. Like I'm such an orally like fixated person and I hate – I saw him spitting in a spittoon or a water bottle

and immediately like my body like recoiled. It was so gross to me. But we had already been together six years in. So like he knew after that to always like hide the dipping from me because that was just the one – like he smokes. I don't care if he doesn't brush his teeth, whatever. But the dipping, something about that I was like, oh.

I can't think of ics with Todd. Bodily functions don't give me the ick. Like same, like it's not, like I don't want to like out. Let's just say if I was dating someone and they had to like rush home to have diarrhea, like that doesn't give me the ick. Oh, my God. I would have never had, I rush home to have diarrhea. Like, right. That doesn't give me the, Oh my God. I would have no, I've never had, I would have had the ick my whole life.

I've ever had, it was an emergency. You guys, I had diarrhea on a hike yesterday and I shit on the trail. Doesn't that feel so good? It was honestly, once you know, you're not like going to get,

did, were you covered? Were people covering you? Yeah. But also I don't have, um, poopoo shy out in the wilderness so it's like if they cross me i'm like guys that's when you'll look the most native american is like if you're

like you're like you just look and you see this long hair and this woman just like in the woods but i pick my shit up with a doggy bag and i carry it down how did you like was it heavy but i thought it was diarrhea i pick up what i can ann. I dust off. I put the soil in to kind of make it into a batter or like a more solid. And then I pick it up. Brad Pitt, you're not going to take this? You're not going to fucking. Pitt, she dug a pit to put her shit in. Do you understand?

Exactly. Thank you. She's on ketamine therapy. She's getting better. Are you serious, Brad? How did you wipe? Oh, with my water bottle. I used all my water.

Squirt bottle. Bidet. She brought a bidet with her yeah mechanical wash bidet for the day wow i've never shit in the wilderness believe it or not um i don't know have you been in the wilderness that's really i'm like impressed i'm inspired because i've always been like what if there is a doo-doo emergency right it feels great to squat down it's how it's supposed to go when the shit you can feel the shit like just touch the ground and it makes your pile yeah and sometimes it kisses just ever so slightly the other the piece coming down right it's like a stalactite and a stalagmite your ass belongs i have a new challenge for myself i want to like

go on hikes with hopes of having to shit and like get over this set yourself up for success drink a lot of coffee right before more than you usually would right get a kale shake um and all your trigger foods right and then just go on your little anti-sadness walk. And I hope you shit not on soil, but on concrete. Oh, my God. For you on that walk to take a shit? Oh, my God. I'd be humiliated. I won't reveal.

Guys, it's a funny walk. It's a funny place she walks. What if you got a role? Oh, God. Wow. What if, like, a producer was driving by and, like, wow. That's definitely going to happen. That's what we were looking for.

Jules, have you had, have you felt an ick for a boy? Like a couple of times. Just like how they walk, how they talk. And then like, like if they talk and then like their saliva goes out. These are the corners? Yeah. Oh, corners are rough. Yeah.

Like kiyota. Oh, something in their teeth yeah but you don't tell them how you're not a teller no you wouldn't hook a homie up and be like hey dude no i just don't talk to them after wait okay one time in high school when i really really had a crush on um basically my big high school crush. We all know who he is. I drive by his house, whatever. I crushed on him for years before we ever met. And so when we finally did meet and we were like hanging out, I literally went to the mall and sat down with one of the most popular girls that I knew. And I was like, let's talk. I was like, I want to know everything about how I can get this guy to like me. And she was giving me all these tips. And one tip she gave me, which I didn't use because I thought it was way too mean,

but she said to tell him that he has something in his teeth so that I could like gain dominance and power over him. So. Where is this girl now? She's, I don't want to say. Is she doing well? She's fine. I think she's good.

You got to tell us. No, I don't know. I think she's like working in dog rescues and stuff. I don't want to like out her. She's dominating dogs. Yeah, no, but. No, I'm just curious like if she ended up being like, call her daddy. No, no.

Did she do it or not? No. Is she married? I don't know. I don't want to like talk well we can make but it was she gave me like good advice like that i think she also said she also i don't know never mind come on she like taught me i was like okay what about like having sex and she was like you just do what feels good for you oh god why did no one tell me that i know oh my god i know it was like i'm like i'm thinking back i'm like i can't believe i got

all this really good advice from this pretty girl in high school let's just forfeit our jobs and give her our job that girl deserves this i know she was like the original caller daddy are you fucking kidding me someone told you where the fuck were we what was told to us nobody told me anything they just said go for it do what they want she was very like her parents i remember they had like liquid latex in their closet like they were very like it was a sexual family jules what would you say like when you were growing up in the Philippines, like what kind of like sex ed did you get? Nothing really because my mom and dad didn't really want to talk about it, even though they were like really open to their like sex life. They would talk about their sex life. Yeah, but they wouldn't tell me anything.

They're like, figure it out, kid. Yeah. It was only you and i think a window that really told me about stuff did we come on too strong though strong but i liked it yeah okay yeah they like sat you down they tied you up they're like you're gonna listen to us it's it basically it was basically pulled out a chart this is what did you even tell her just curious it's basically like you're gonna fuck and here's how it's gonna go down um you're gonna take care of yourself you're always going to prioritize safety you're gonna prioritize consent and you're gonna prioritize your pleasure oh god that's it i was robbed of

a childhood but that's because annie you and i had such a shitty childhood i was so afraid for her to have such negative experiences so i was like have fun but you know safety first and all that stuff did that help you yeah i was more confident with like expressing and like doing stuff because of her yeah wow i do think having like an aunt or older sister because i have to say one of the big reasons why I never tried drugs is because not not hearing it from my parents but hearing it from my sister who was eight years older so she was like cool you know and her just basically scaring me off of drugs like that really helped me so I think like having that kind of figure does – what's your guys' age gap?

Huge. Oh. She – 20 years? No, no, no. Almost 20 years. No, like 18. Yeah, 18 years, something like that. Can't do the math.

That was a good math. I literally think that you guys are like sisters. It's so weird. Yeah, but I think there will come a point where you're going to look at me and be like, all right, she's starting to feel really old. when you're like 60 that's how I feel about Todd yeah maybe um oh it's cute though but but maybe I'm not an actualized adult and I'm in some form of arrested development and I mean the way you're sitting is quite you guys I by the way I'm wearing my UNLV shirt that says swimming and diving I had to red shirt my freshman

year and I didn't end up getting to swim really for UNLV but I got um I had to I could not compete I got a full scholarship and a full ride there. Dorms are paid for. Everything was paid for. And then I had to, yeah, I couldn't compete my freshman year because they said I was missing like an NCAA credit that I was from the Philippines or something like that. It was really depressing. But here it is, repping UNLV. I tried to find a thing from the College of Santa Fe, but I couldn't find it. And it's been out of business for so long that it doesn't exist online. But you know what does exist online? Macklemore saying that he learned how to rap at the College of Santa Fe. So if you like Macklemore, you're welcome. If you

don't like Macklemore, sorry. My college did that. I had I found one shirt from college today and I almost wore it but it's offensive it's the logo is the chief which is like since been discontinued oh that would go for a lot of money on ebay it's so stupid like I remember the year it was being discontinued was our first year there and everyone was like we got to buy it up before it's gone I'm'm like, this is like a scam, like to make money. This is so stupid. I know I've said this before, but UNLV was my first choice. Right. Because of the dance program there. Because of their jazz dance program. But my parents made me go. Jazz dance program. That is wild. We were so different. I went to like a Big Ten. I feel like I'm the only one here who had the real like classic

Big Ten college campus cornfield experience. So you were jazz? Wait, jazz dance? No, that's what I wanted. I was getting jizzed on my pants. Very nice. And you were planning jazz? I was wearing jazz pants.

We denied her all the schools she got accepted to, unfortunately. I mean, she got accepted to like UCc davis and these like really um schools but you're and but we were like guess what you're staying close to home i'm still fine with it at that i just i just want to party like a college party yes it is that was fun yes but you know here's the thing jules what was really fucked up for you was your senior year of going of high school in the united states was a covet year yeah and so it's like you spent it with what me and bobby at home fostering dogs like that's depressing so it's like but there's you're turning 21 in november you can make up for all that lost time yeah and um so you know you have all the time in the world to go apeshit

college party is fun it is it is fun they are yeah you have to have that experience on what do you want to do with for your 21st birthday I just want to do the karaoke thing what was your first choice though? Las Vegas. Maybe we can throw her a 21. All I want to do is go to Vegas. Good girl. With a 21-year-old girl, I'll go. Oh my God.

Still be in the room watching the news. It's so weird that you and Dave have that in common. On vacation, you just like to watch the news. Now a word from our sponsor BetterHelp. So how well would you take care of your car if you had to keep the same one for your entire life? Okay. You know, don't go based off what I've done. You really do what's best for you. But honestly, that is how our brain works. And so why shouldn't we also treat our brain that way? Like, let's take care of it. That is something that I do.

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$45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes additional taxes fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details i have a question for you guys um i saw on um tiktok obviously this girl asking people like did you grow up with a nakey mom or a non-nakey mom like did your mom get naked around you oh here it here it is. What did she say? Did you all grow up with a naked mom? And I don't mean this in a sexual way.

Like, a naked mom or a not naked mom? Here's what I mean by this. Like, I have good friends who, like, they never saw their mom naked. Okay, now I hear. They didn't see her getting dressed. They didn't see her getting ready for a shower, like, going to the bathroom. Nothing. Not the case with my mom.

I FaceTimed her yesterday, and she literally answered the Face the facetime start naked getting ready to hop in the tub is she whitney's daughter which is more normal naked mom or not naked mom i only know of naked mom i did that once with my dad it was so embarrassing i like i like he saw my boob for a second was like dad it was so bad it was like he's like oh i just forgot it wasn't my boyfriend. You know what I mean? So your parents, did they ever get naked around you? Naked all the time, yeah. Not like nudist colony naked, but like my dad I would see accidentally. No one locks doors or really barely closes them in my family. So I've seen my dad like peeing a million times.

I used to have a joke. I was like, it's not Christmas until I've seen my dad's dick. He thinks it's hilarious. Like one time he came. Actually, this was the best. So they have this like stairwell that goes up. I don't know what you call it, but like you look down. You're on like the middle of the stairs and you look down and there's the front door.

So like my dad was on the stairwell and I was like coming up, coming in. And he was like, Annie, you're here. And he was wearing a nightgown with no underwear. I go, oh my God, dad. I was looking at, it was like bird's eye dick coming at me that's the ultimate um ick for me is just dudes who just oh god yes t-shirts only well in burning man which i really wish i was going to i'm gonna go next year i think what zoom in too close back up back up carlos we can read it from there who is this cutie it's so so cute. Kalilah Kuhn.

Should we keep going? Yeah, just keep going and then we'll get to this in a bit. Sorry. So, okay. So. Burning Man. Burning Man has a thing that's called, oh, my friend just told me it. But it's something, it's like where guys winnie the pooh.

They do no pants. Are you serious? Yeah, I know. It's like, ugh. Why? Isn't that your worst case scenario of what Burning Man is? Yes, thank you. Because I have no idea what it is.

But if I found out it was that, I'd be like, I know why I stay away. No, there's like naked people and drugs. Burning Man is not for you. Basically this. It's like, guys, make sure you put your pants on before your shirt every time. Because if the shirt comes on first, there's a fucking problem for you. Yeah, I have. I will ick my way at the door.

Yeah, that is ick. Is it because it's such a baby it's a dangle situation it's like it just accentuates the dangle i don't want more dangle is that what is there more what is it for you if it's hard though honestly it's not as bad if the shirt's on and it's hard are you talking about your dad i've never seen my dad hard I will say that Okay To give you guys

So nobody thinks I was molested by my father I've never seen him hard Wait so Annie So this question But my mom's naked all the time So this woman's asking If you had a naked mom

So you had both Naked parents Yes but my dad Wasn't like naked on purpose My family was an underwear family Like answer the door In your underwear There were skid marks

My mom had some Real skitty underwear But And also They Oh my god so much alike spread their legs around a dog um but my mom like yeah she was always naked she always also my mom played racquetball i just was realizing how traumatizing it was to see my mom with welts all over her thighs all the time from racquetball yeah she always just had giant bruises all over herself what if my mom was in a BDSM and that's what she was doing on Tuesday nights? I saw her playing. She was like, ha, ha. My mom had like short hair and

she wore the goggles. Ha, ha. My mom's such a dude. My parents couldn't have been more different. My dad was very, very proper, super proper. Like he would fix the collar on my shirt proper. But then my mom was naked all the fucking time with a big bush and her perfect fucking body. The worst part for me was that I had a mother who was a specimen. So it's like I grew up watching this woman's abs just get more chiseled and chiseled. And then her always like counting her calories she would actually have a spreadsheet of all the things that she would eat um all her slim fast um products and so she was also a bodybuilder so she spent a lot of hours every day at baseline gym and i would watch her compete as a bodybuilder and as one of those you know things. Oh, my God. And so that had its own disadvantages.

Is my spray tan triggering for you? Did your mom tan up? Naturally, she is already tan. She doesn't need any, like, any... She didn't add the oil or anything, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they did. They get all shiny? Yes, they did.

So that was a little bit more like... I think that had its, you know, psychological ramifications for a young child. Not so much the nudity, but the perfection that she always was. But do you think like, okay, so you're very active too and it's less eating disorder than I've,

I mean, I actually don't know. It's super eating disorder. But do you think if there's like a, but if there's like a, but if there's like a goal, right? Is it less eating disorder? Cause she's counting her calories so that she can compete. Is that less eating disorder?

You're not, you're not, you're just absorbing what you're seeing. You don't know. You're not thinking about it that way. Not to diagnose my own mother, but I do look at her as someone who is regimented, but also like obsessive compulsive. And a lot of that has to do with her weight. For instance, like yesterday, like if I didn't go on that hike with her and I knew that she didn't

get her workout in that day, that she would be in a negative mood for the rest of the day. Wait, is that why you shit? Your mom's like, you're overweight. Take a shit on the- Oh my God. Dude, on Saturday, I went home crying, asked Jules, because we all went bowling as a family. And she asked me three questions back to back. And I just left and I cried the whole way home. What were the questions? She asked me, why are you eating more sweet potatoes than you are your proteins?

First question. Second question is, how is your shoulder feeling? And I knew what the third question is. You mean to say you haven't worked out in three weeks because is your shoulder feeling and i knew what the third question is you mean to say you haven't worked out in three weeks because of your shoulder is a savage and so i just took my stuff and she's and then she later explained she's like no i just know that you probably don't feel good because you haven't been working out and i'm worried about your psychological state but really it's like those three questions back to back i was like i gotta get out of here i was like thanks

mom i'm fat why is interesting why is interesting too but she goes why are you doing that it's like those three questions back to back. I was like, I got to get out of here. I was like, thanks, mom. I'm fat. I get it. Bye. Why is interesting? Why is interesting too? What? She goes, why are you doing that? It's an interesting way to be like pointed out. Yeah. Just curious. I was just curious why.

Why you would be doing that? Oh, who's getting a rotten banana this week? Yeah, what the? Oh my God. Carlos. He's trying to kill us. No, I don't want that one. You don't eat them anyway.

I take them home. What do you do? I eat them with chocolate. Oh, that's cute. That's like a good, actually, no, that's good for the audience to know. That's good for the audience to know. Carlos is Esther's skinny coach. Give me that one.

Wait, Jules, did you have, Maybe I might know the answer to this. I'm going to eat the shit out of this. Good work, Carlos. That was a dare. I dare you to give her the rotten one and see what happens. Do you have a naked mom and dad growing up? Just mom. I would see her vagina and tits every day.

Just say it that way. She would force them on you, right? Yeah, and like she would let a smell like her, like she would go, her hands would go on her vagina and then she would just touch it on her nose. That's the type of mom.

Don't make it look like that's crazy. That's why. Because she thinks it's funny, so. And that's why she came to Americaica that's your sister that's my sister you know you wonder why i wanted to see my asshole earlier it runs in the family very normal honestly well we showered together no i don't shower with jules but like growing up like as friends or my family i can shower with my mom i can shower with my sister showering as a communal activity is very common and i wanted to ask you guys is it for you too

or not with your friends but i know with family right family yeah yeah so showering with family is not unheard of and it's not a weird thing i showered with more friends and family i think but is it for sports like oh at camp. Oh, at camp. Yeah. We just had one big shower. But as an adult now, do you still shower with friends? Yeah, I'll shower with a friend. I will.

Yeah, thank you. I will. It's like funny. My friend Tara and I will pop in a shower. She's always, yeah, my friend Tara will just be like in a, she'll just be holding a diva cup like in a tub when I call her. No, but I want to ask you, like if you're sharing a hotel room with a friend or you're going on a girl trip.

Well, sure, of course. Right, of course. I shower with my girlfriend, too. No. That to me, really, Esther. No. Well, I also don't, I haven't, I don't take showers. I take baths.

But I just, I would only want to shower by myself. She also travels with John Campanelli. So if he climbed into a bath, I think that would be a problem. That would actually be so much fun. Oh, cut her out. I would love to bathe with my guy friends. Carlos jumping the tub. It's the least sexual bath ever.

Yes, that would be so fun. I would do a bathing suit bath with Esther. Yeah, Carlos. Yeah. No, it's balls and tits out or no balls. Yeah, there's no bathing suit. What are we at, the fucking pool? What are we just in a small pool?

The point is. I would do a nude one then. I would do a nude one. But only if it's not weird. Don't cover your ears. Thank you. I would do that. I'm not doing that.

No, no, no. I don't shower with my guy friends. I shower with my girlfriends. You just don't have any girlfriends that are willing to do things with you like that. That's true. No, they got naked in the pool in front of me recently. I didn't participate, but. Why not?

Too insecure. Naked in the pool at a party is like, that's never going to happen for me. Can I tell you something? That's when you had gotten waxed too. Everyone's body is amazing in the pool. Because it's like, there's no gravity. So it actually kind of like sits up. Your tits sit up.

Everything sits up. But how do you get in the pool without revealing your naked body? Hide the bush. Do this. You know what makes your body hot? Not being insecure about it. Exactly. It really is the thing.

I thought you were going to say not being able to see it. Close your eyes. No, no, seriously. It's the hesitation makes your body. Think about the guy like the one ick the biggest ick i've ever gotten from a guy is when i we both had sex we've already had sex but then like i turned around and he was like oh no and he like hide hid his soft cock oh i hate when guys hide their soft cock oh no like it's over we're never gonna do this again that was like one of the like most memorable ics i've had i'm like why did he do

that so why did you hold your soft cock with kalilah and end things tragically um um what are we looking at here um this was the unlv um brochure roster um the first year that i swam you are a hottie dude so this is your second year of college first year swimming freshman um this is at unlv but they were letting you swim this year or not um this is before i got um redshirted my God. So you had started the season? Yeah, I started the season. I got a full ride. I see Kawinda, too, right there. Yeah, that's my sister.

She was. Kalilah is a versatile swimmer who begins her first season with the Rebels. She will swim the Butterfly and I Am events for the Rebels this season. I'm a graduate. Butterfly is. Kalilah is a 2002 graduate of Blair High School in Pasadena, California.

Finished first in the 100 fly and second in the 100 breast at the 1999 California Intersgalactic Federation Championships. Is the Philippine National Age Group record holder in the long course 200 breast at two minutes, two hours?

Two minutes. Two minutes. I hope not two hours? 2 minutes 2 minutes 44 I need to get another copywriter for this this is with the you're a Philippine national age group record holder? no way it's been broken after 16 years

even more talented Filipina oh god what do you do now? I think I'll kill now what's your next record I think I'll kill myself what's your next record gonna be sucking dick

that I did a lot of let's put those numbers up Rudy do not compete with her on that one okay the Tamja is not worth it was born in Mexico City

yeah my my sister was born in Mexico were you born in the Philippines mhm wow my dad was just international man of mystery you never know where

he was gonna to be next, you know? You guys are interesting, like, similar looking and not at the same time. I don't think we look alike at all.

She's hairless. She has a delicate nose and she has, she's six feet tall. I am much hairier, ethnic nose, big features. She has a very slender face.

You both have like apple cheeks. Big, big, big cheeks. Did I ever tell you guys about the night I was at a frat party and having so much fun, just being crazy, being like wild. And the whole night, this guy who was a two was was hitting on me like and i was in and i was into it yeah we were like vibing he was laughing at what i was doing it was really fun he was a two and um then we're sitting on the couch and some of my friends from my i was in the all girls dorm some of the girls were there with me and she the one girl's drunk laughing.

She goes, isn't Esther so funny? She's doing all this and she's not even drunk. And the two was like, you're not drunk? And I was like, no. And then he literally didn't talk to me the rest of the night. Of course, because what shot does he have with a sober girl? But it was like, I was feeling it. I was like, oh my God, a guy is talking to me but in

his head he's like there's no chance in hell without beer goggles that she would fuck me oh he was insecure he was insecure i thought it was he was just like ew i thought he thought you were the keg the whole night wait speaking of keg why don't do we have a beer bong here somewhere did i not am i tri? It's a marathon. Annie, this might trigger us a bit. What is it? Under Annie. Under Annie.

Under me. We can do it with liquid death or I can do it. With a white claw? Yeah. Are you ready for a white claw? Go pee. Go right now, this very second. Carlos is under you.

Oh my god. Illegal. If you peed on Carlos... That's behind the paywall, Carlos. That goes under only. I think I would pay your rent for three months if you pee on Carlos. Carlos, I have a proposition for you. That's like $10,000. It's a lot.

For your OnlyFans, I get a 50% cut if I let you fuck my like, my elbow and, like, the back of my thigh instead of a pillow. I'll give you 90%. So I won't offer my mouth at any of the major orifices, but I can do, like, a blindfolded, like, just, I won't move my hand, but you can stick it in here. I feel a little insulted. No, but it's just because I won't move my hand, but you can stick it in here. I feel a little insulted. No, but it's just because I don't want to be a participating. Yeah. I don't want to be like a participating, you know, we got to keep it professional between you and I, right?

Absolutely. So it keeps it not sexual between you and I. I'm more of like an Ottoman or like something you can just use in the room. Okay. So. So here. I'm not, I don't have a lot of yeah what do you think what about this one's good oh yeah there pick some places out carlos

let's get some negotiating between the butt cheeks no okay what about that i know that was asking for too much you mean my asshole feet feet you know Feet? You know, I've never been- Look, look, look, look. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that porn. Yeah, we can do that. Is that- Would that turn you on though?

Foot job? Like a weird position? Get the fuck out. Get out! Get out! It's okay, Donut. Daddy? Oh my god, he must call himself Daddy. He goes, it's okay, Donut.

Do you want to do a liquid dance? Of course I'll do this. Here, I'll do this first. Oh my god, he loves drinking. Carlos is so quick to get drunk at work. Carlos is so excited. He's like, I've been high at work. Ready?

Yeah. Carlos loves to relapse. Wait, this is dangerous. Yes. Carlos, I'm worried. Wow, Carlos. Wow. He's heavy breathing.

Oh, no. Oh, no. It's at the burp. All right. No, you don't get to stop to burp. This is disgusting. Oh, my God. There was one second left to quit.

You're a quitter. You're a quitter. How does it feel to quit? I didn't know I had to burp. Yeah, but you're supposed to move past the burp, work through it, and suffer later. Fuck it. You're fired again. We can't be promoting this kind of behavior.

This is horrible. It's college-themed. What, the kids quit before they're done their fucking... Well, I did quit college after a year. Same. Oh, my God. Look at these losers. Get out of here.

I stuck it out for eight full years to get that undergrad so you've never done a keg stand no you've never done um a bong or like a beer bong no do you smoke weed yeah yeah cute she's so cute so for your 21st birthday what do you um what do you need from us? Like what are your desires? How can we help you? Do you want to gamble in Vegas? Do you want to go see shows?

What do you want to do? That sounds boring, gambling. It's so fun. Oh, my God. There's ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Don't listen to her. I just want to go to a pool party. Oh.

Oh, I got to get my body ready for that. When you go to pools or i'm sorry when you go to parties are you going to meet guys or just to have fun you're just hoping there's a hot guy there um both yeah yeah are you gonna try to get like effed up as they say maybe yeah who says that on what on just alcohol yeah okay what what would be your pool drink like a frozen thing i don't just a tequila a tequila oh my god she's classy do you take other drugs um just weed edibles we have rules oh what are the rules i should follow the jewels yeah you already know the rules what are the rules jules just not – just weed and edibles.

That's it really. No coke. Yeah, don't do coke. Coke's boring. What else? No. Pills probably. No pills.

No pills. Don't know what's in them. Yeah. Not worth it. Nothing. Should we get her fentanyl test? Well, she already knows she's not going to touch any of that. Okay, okay.

What about- Carlos again fired. I know. What the fuck, Carlos? Those are so important to have. How many episodes- Not paying attention at all. She just said she's only doing weed.

Oh, well, she's obviously going to try other things eventually. No, she's not. There's no obviously there. Okay, I'm sorry. Oh my God. I'm playing devil's advocate. You have to be realistic. You're not going to try other things.

Do they put fentanyl in Molly? Oh, I hope not. Oh my God. I'm playing devil's advocate. You have to be realistic. You're not going to try other things. Do they put fentanyl in Molly? Oh, I hope not. God, yeah. Because Molly is the only thing that you might have, you know, it's a fun party drug. Party drug Molly. It's fun at like a pool. But that's where I would be so insecure and probably ask for the fentanyl test just in case.

Do they cut fucking Molly's with anything they say? The only problem withlly is that it's like it really you pay the price in the hangover it's like you just it takes all of your happiness and gives it to you at once and then you have to suffer through the rest right so it's such a rush that it just depletes you for the next couple days of all you're happy is that mdma um yeah molly yeah well yeah i think it's the same thing, right? Is she allowed mushrooms? Oh, mushrooms. Yes.

I want to try. Should we try them together? I've never done shrooms. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Let's do them. Is that the next live? Maybe that's the next live.

Yeah. Hell yeah, dude. You want to do shrooms with us, Jules? Oh, my God. who's doing the epic dose i'm like i'm dead i'm dead i'm dead i'm dead i'm dead i'm just here shitting my pants like dead dead dead dead it would be hard to be around all this oh god they would rotate yeah oh really it'd be good be good okay so i had these like these memories of my mom getting hit on so

hard in front of us as kids like so hard and my mom does not try like my mom does not give a fuck about beauty or anything she is naturally beautiful but she just doesn't she always cut her hair short not that you're not hot if you could but like not to be hot she always like wore like you know umbros and shit she always was dressed like a little league umpire and but our next door neighbor leaned in we were all in the minivan and he leaned in and he he tongue kissed my mom in front of us once our neighbor and we were like we're telling dad and then there was another time where they were we had like a we would go on camping trips

with this other family I don't think my parents were swingers but I think they were around a lot of swingers what? I think a lot of people

are swingers Annie do you hear what you just said? you're in denial let's FaceTime them let's ask mom or dad mom or dad

I don't think my parents were swingers but no but I swear to God because there was this one this guy we used to go camping with who was leaning in for a kiss with my mom and she was like, what? Did she receive the tongue kiss from her neighbor?

No, she'd be like this. She'd be like this. And then, but I remember I had a boyfriend who I was like telling about that and he was like, well, she doesn't wear a bra. I was like, are you slut shaming my mom? You're victim shaming her? Your brother said that? No, no, no.

This is a boyfriend I had. Let's see. She also tripped on the subway once and when instead of helping her up the guy showed her her his dick it's america that's actually america funniest thing that's ever happened yeah hi mom oh fuck it's my headphones hold on shit i'm blowing this mom mommy oh they're on a walk we're on the podcast mom okay we're on the podcast okay so i was telling them about when when our neighbor leaned in and tongue kissed you in the car yeah and then i was remembering when we went on that camping trip and that guy leaned in to try to kiss you again.

Right, yeah. And then I said, I don't think my parents were swingers, but they were surrounded by a lot. And then everyone was like, you're in denial. Your parents were swingers. So were you swingers? No. Unfortunately.

Not yet. Dad, why was everyone trying to get your girl? I mean, he is hung. Because she's hot. He's hung, but he's not a swinger. Oh, boy. He's hung, but it doesn't swing. It just means it's hard.

No, I didn't say it doesn't swing. I said he's not a swinger. Oh, he's not a swinger. Ew. I've seen Dad's dick. It's not swinging that much. But anyway, Mom mom are you why did why did people always try to kiss you uh i don't know they wanted to see if they could kiss the queen oh creepier now

now my ex-boyfriend said that he thought like you didn't wear bras and maybe that was the thing. How do you feel about that? If they're really enticed by these little things, they are sick people. All right, Mom. So I don't think you were a swinger either, but these dirty, dirty sluts did think you were. Esther's still not sure i just i just i never heard of people hanging out with swingers knowingly but not swinging what's the point of that they're friends oh it's not friendship it's for jennifer it's for jennifer gardner

get old and they want a tongue kiss people that are not their wives, I think. Yeah, it's men. All right. Well, smile for the camera, mom. I can relate. I want to tongue kiss people that are not my wife. All right. Love you, mama.

Bye, daddy. So what do we think of what happens to us as adults when we have – we grow up with naked moms or not naked moms? I have like a very like standard level of nudity. I think it's like, oh, someone's walking from the bathroom fast to their room. They're naked. She's not doing this in front of the mirror. No.

Is that what your mom? Oh, God. That's so funny. She's not flexing her triceps in front of the mirror. The bush shaking. so funny she's not she's not flexing her triceps in front of the mirror the book shaking oh it's so funny wait so um because i think like for instance like bobby if you look at all of bobby's like baby pictures or his pictures with his parents like his dad was always just in underwear all the time and i think that bobby takes on that same look as an adult and i think that for me when i'm home i'm always partially naked wouldn't you say jules yeah i'm naked why winnie the pooh it's cute on girls sometimes but most of the time i am win Winnie the Pooh-ing, huh?

Yeah. With just the t-shirt and underwear. Oh, or you're just naked. I'm just always naked. Yeah. I'm naked all the time, too. I'm naked all the time. I'm naked unless I'm on my period.

Are you, Esther? Not at all. So we've become our parents. So this is what we've learned. I'm naked all the time. I do think I'll be naked on my children. Yeah, I think so, too. I think we should see bodies just be regular and not, not like be insecure about it just it's just a body but that's

so funny that really is my my kids are not gonna like my tits i just know that for a fact well why we don't want them to like them they don't need to like our bodies that's true that's a good point they just need to see bodies i didn't think of that, Annie. That'd be creepy. I run. Listen, I can't tell you how often I'm just running by a window naked. Just like, oh, whoa. I'm never naked at home. Oh, Jesus Christ. My clothes are always on the other side.

I'm on this side. But you're never naked after. I'm like fully dressed with sneakers. I've seen you naked, though. You've shown me your parts. I'm sure. I'm not saying i've never been pretty early on but maybe at home i'm never just like chilling naked i'm fully dressed is it

because you're always cold i think it's because i'm cold a lot i also braless is not an option like i need things like in place how do you sleep with a big t-shirt and nothing else. Okay. Nothing but a t-shirt. Yeah, because I need my boobs covered but not held. Do you ever put Dave's CPAP machine on your tits? I don't think you'll fit. Suction those titties. I think they are too big for that. Over the nipple? Oh, woe is you esther

nothing has been too big for my or too small for my tits in my life i think we should all go around and say what we did for our 21st birthday okay starting with annie we should all go around this is how it goes yeah um my 21 21st birthday, I was sick. I was living in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I had a cold. I had been drinking heavily since I was 13. So I had already quit drinking and relapsed again. I did not give a fuck about my 21st birthday.

And I think it set me up for having great birthdays for the rest of my life because every day has been my birthday my whole life. So I didn't really do anything too special. My neighbors, I was neighbors with this family, and I went with them and their little kid. I've never heard that phrase, I was neighbors with. But they were actually, they were swingers. They never got me though. But I went with them and their family to like go look at the choo-choo trains with our kid.

That wasn't his penis. That wasn't like a choo-choo train. I went, we drove to Chama, this place in New Mexico, Chama. We saw the trains. We drove back. I think I went out with one of my friends and we just did some shots, but it was nothing really big. My parents called me.

and we just did some shots, but it was nothing really big. My parents called me. I was similar in that I had already been drinking for so many years, so it was not exciting for me to turn 21. But I do remember my sister's 21st birthday because I woke up to feeling cold and wet on a bed next to her, and it was because she had peed. She was so drunk from the night before that she had wet the bed and i was like i'm shivering why is it so cold i look over at her

and i'm like oh my god and i think she brought like my sister's a weird drunk in that she finds she fixates on things at bars or places when she's getting drunk. And she likes to take them home. So she would pull Budweiser signs from bars. She brought home a bar stool. Like a full fucking bar stool. I was that type of drunk. I was a collector. Yes, I was a collector.

And everyone hates it around you. When you're drunk, you think this is going to be awesome, right? You're like, I'm going to show up with a yield sign. You're like, I'm going to show up with like a yield sign. Like you're like, I'm going to have all these things. Yeah, it's a stop sign. She's plucked out an actual stop sign. No, I had this. I went to the yield rustic, okay? I moved my, I was moving my.

Yes, here. You're not here. Yes. Yes, the yield rustic. I was an older drunk. That is where older drunks go. That's why you and me go there. But I was only, I was 24 or something.

My ex-boyfriend was marrying my friend i was driving her out here to move in with him fun twisted little incestual santa fe because it's a small town so i was with all of them we were having we they were lived right next to the yield rustic so we would walk to the yield rustic to drink i got wasted i pulled a banner down off of the thing dragged it it back, thinking this is going to be awesome, right? They're so mad. They're like, we live here. This is our bar.

We, like, are here all. This is, we hang out here every day. Ted, John, Susie, we know them all. Like, every person here we know. And I was like, oh. So then I had to drag it back all hungover. Like, I'm sorry. But I'm glad to hear that because I've always been like, oh. So then I had to drag it back all hungover. I'm sorry. But I'm glad to hear that because I've always been like, why did I think that was so cool?

You know, my sister was a very big-backed swimmer. So if she wanted it, she could get it off the wall. Cones? Traffic cones? Big things that were framed and bolted to the wall. We were like, Kuna, you can't get that. Let's just go. You want a bet?

Boom, boom. And she would just pluck it off to leave holes did you ever get chased yes she just was like she was just like an avid collector and then in her head you think it's like you're like my room looks cool why does why does it look cool that there's like five traffic cones a stop sign a two-for-one beer special banner. It was crazy. Like I remember I used to always, you know, I worked as like a go-go dancer and a bartender and, you know, a cocktail server and stuff. And I always like, even though I worked the job, I still loved when we would get like Jaeger shirts.

I was like Jaeger shirts, you know, and they just would come pass out. Okay. Well, that is cool. I would want that too. That would be cool. Carlos, did you have a 21st? Carlos andlos and pete what was your guys 21st birthday i was sober so but i did a weird thing when i moved here where i lied to everyone that i was so on my 20th birthday it was actually my 21st birthday and i went to see 17 again starring

zach efron with my Girlfriend at the group. What a weird psycho thing to lie about. Yeah, what else are you lying about the girlfriend? No, she was real her name's Hillary. She lives in Portland now Hillary. Yeah, is she dating women or men? Her high school boyfriend. Okay. Yeah Yeah, she went back she found out I can't trust these guys. They lie about weird things like their age. Wait, it's possible to get your high school boyfriend back? It is.

My best friend who's, my best friend is married to her, the guy she lost her virginity to. She will date Brad Pitt before you get your ex-boyfriend back. I still think it's totally possible. I don't think. We gotta get you out of the fucking house, though.

Here's what I'll- You can't just only go on family bowling. You got to be out, bitch. You got to catch us a celeb. This is getting annoying. Annie, if I can't even not cry at bowling with my family, what makes you think that I'm ready to throw myself out? It's because you're with your family. That's why you're crying.

I'm just not. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to talk about. I actually, I'm exhausted even thinking about it. I don't want to fucking talk to anybody. It's for us. The men are going to come to do. I don't know what to talk about. I actually, I'm exhausted even thinking about it. I don't want to fucking talk to anybody. It's for us. The men are going to come to her. Yeah.

They're going to come to her. Well, set it up. How about that? It's up to you. I will not turn down a date that you set me up with, but it's got to, I have a criteria. Good breath is number one. Okay. Damn it.

I'm out. And for those reasons, I'm out. Yeah. Good breath. Got gotta be a little thick. I like chubs a little bit. That's about it, good breath and chubby. What if he's married and he threatened to sue us? What do you mean? I'm just kidding.

Pete, what was your 21st birthday? I just bring... I got really wasted and then my mom showed up your mom showed up because she was concerned my brother was there uh drinking he's younger than me but uh he called my mom and then she showed up and saw me passed out but then she was cool your brother is a fucking narc i woke up for the last time on my college campus and my parents drove in, packed up all my stuff, moved me home. It was like the saddest day ever because everyone was so upset that I was dropping out of school. And then we got home and they took me out to dinner to one of my favorite vegetarian restaurants, Blind Faith Cafe in Evanston.

And the owner was there and he gave me a glass of wine and i took one sip and i i spit it out but it was a very sad in his face you fucking bitch it was a sad 20 jules i feel like yours should be somewhere in the middle of all of our stories yeah you have to quit something yeah you do have to quit. Like she quit college and Carlos quit beer bong. Carlos quit being honest. But obviously you grew up in a country where drinking is legal at a certain age. So 21 is not as exciting for you. Not really.

18 was exciting probably more. But what is the most fucked up you've ever been where you're like, oh my God, like what did I just do? Like I was at a friend's house because it was his birthday and then we just drank a lot and then i just passed out in the bathroom that's it around like people that you knew though yeah oh so you weren't like afraid like where am i who am i i know annie god this is a very good i I had a parents weekend on my brother's frat that is infamous the tits were out

care to tell I don't know if my brother's still mad at me about this but I did flash the entire frat and it was parents weekend

so the grandmothers got flashed the parents got flashed your brother's frat yeah I was a 16 yearyear-old sister. Nipple rings just whee. I'm proud of you.

That's cool. I was so wasted. I remember Max and I were taking shots of tequila. And we were eating crackers. And we were blowing the crackers. Spitting them at each other. And I just remember one getting caught in his eye. On his eyelash.

And to this day, maybe one of my favorite Max memories. Him just looking like a fucking idiot with that eye and on his eyelash. And to this day, my, maybe my favorite, one of my favorite Max memories. I'm just looking like a fucking idiot with that cracker on his eyelash. And when he got, when we were in second grade and he opened up his fortune cookie and he go, maybe there was one fortune. Maybe there's two fortunes. Maybe there's three. And then he opened and there were no fortunes. That might be the peak moment in my life.

That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Why won't he talk to me? Is your, is your older brother more like traumatized by you like it seems like maybe you and max were kind of like teaming up against the older brother no no no timmy no max is out max is barely in anymore max is hanging on by a thread so max no max is most traumatized by me yeah timmy's fine timmy's still trying to get a piece of the action timmy's trying to get in on it timmy calls into my show my spotify show i want to talk about um just one thing before we end because i want jules's take on it so

jules do you know who nick cannon is nick i already am happy he was at the sushi place i was at last night. What was it? He was, well, for starters. One of the hoes, I can remember what it's called. The Hollywood hoes. Esther, do you want to explain who Nick Cannon is? It's really shocking. I'm just going to explain what I know of Nick Cannon from the beginning.

Start from the beginning. His timeline. I'm pretty sure he had an MTV show. All that. He mtv show all that he was on all that he was not all that he wasn't i don't think so i just he was like a cool guy you know oh my god this is already so bad what was he famous for that mtv show okay an mtv show he was pretty cool and pretty cute actually like a good looking cool cool guy yeah fast forward he marries mariah carey gets her pregnant which is a big deal it's mariah carey he's also a host of like not america's got talent but one of those he's like got goonie game show hosting jobs it's like not cool yeah

very square almost like he has a square persona like clean kind of but then like cut to you're hearing these stories about how he's got all these women pregnant and then he goes on this podcast and he's like just holier than thou talking about how 80 of women's vaginas are unclean and then also proceeds to talk about how if women don't respect and keep their vaginas private then how can he respect them so he's like telling women that they're dirty and that they have to keep their vaginas to themselves meanwhile he has like eight baby mamas out there it's so it's like what happened to you it's interesting you said eight because in 1998 to 2000 he was in all that he was he was in all that he was in kenan and cal he was in the parkers he must not have had many sketches

because no he wasn't in a bunch and then he had the he had the nick cannon shows what you're remembering him from that was in 2002 he was on the chapelle show for something i think he played himself so this guy is a comedian while on out he was on while on out yeah he's a comedian he actually is the reason pete davidson blew up really yeah he started bringing him on the road and he like did like a pete uh nick cannon presents for him well i know nothing about nick cannon i was the worst person and he was at the sushi restaurant i was at last night and i made the joke where i was like did you have enough uh baby seats did you have enough children's seats and he told him the waiter i don't see okay you were running around looking for the high chairs, weren't you?

Well, I hope he didn't smell your unclean vagina. Like, what is up with that? What do you think about a guy who thinks 80% of women's vaginas are dirty, Jules? What's the vibe you're getting? That he's gay. It does seem gay. it does seem gay it does seem gay yeah we're also sorry that society led you down that path because i you know in a way these people are victims and but it doesn't apologize it doesn't excuse their behavior whatever fuck you guys i know you just yeah

you think my vagina is gross and smelly i'm sorry just stay away from it yeah we're for people that like our stinky disgusting pussies next month if i find out i'm pregnant with nick cannon's baby damn it she went back on her word guys she's going for gay guys we said we wanted to get you a so we wanted you to get us a celeb we didn't know it was that one on that note jules are you traumatized no i like it oh it's like a normal conversation with at the colilo is this how i talk at home jules yeah yeah you're right good you're right this is a fun episode thanks for coming by jules thank you so much sorry your college got destroyed by COVID. We will make up for it.

9-11 happened my first week of college if that helps. That's. You see how old I am. Jules, you know, maybe our next live show will be around

your birthday and maybe you can, you know, partake with us. Mushrooms. And on that note, we'll see you guys next week. See you next Tuesday, bitches. You guys' vaginas are awesome.

We'll see you next week. Just enjoy some fucking puss. 100% of them. Not only 20%. Although in this room, only 20%. That's so rude to say.