Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Cradling Your Dreidels - Ep 147

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors:  MeUndies - Knock out your holiday shopping today and get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping, at MeUndies.com/TRASHTUESDAY. MeUndies -- comfort from the outside in. For you! For a friend! Trash Tuesday Merch!! Get it at https://itstrashtuesday.com/ See Esther on tour. Check out dates at estheronice.com See Annie on tour. Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows Trash Tuesday LIVE in Los Angeles! February 13, 2024. Get tickets at: https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/09005F85033B7EE2 00:00 - Trash Tuesday LIVE! February 13, 2024 01:50 - Tour Dates 02:55 - Delicate Opal 04:48 - Perks of Dating Your Ex 09:44 - Shady Venmo Transactions 12:20 - Erotic Dreams During Pregnancy 15:00 - Self Discipline vs Too Hard On Yourself 17:40 - Re-Introducing Trash Tuesday 20:44 - Exotic Cuisine 25:00 - Purse Fixation 27:41 - Alcohol-Free House for the Kid 36:30 - No Bad Foods! 39:58 - Laser Your Hair Down There 45:22 - Valet School 46:52 - Latkes! 47:50 - Unicorned or a Situationship? 55:00 - Revisiting What ‘Dating’ Means 56:46 - ‘Cute’ is Way Better Than ‘Handsome’ 59:20 - Poll Result: Guys’ Response When You’re Venting 61:30 - The Dreidel Game: Letting the Hate Get to You 68:18 - I Never Heard ‘Good Job’ 71:36 - The Best Lighting for Sex   Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392   Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  🍬  https://www.candyedits.com     Produced by: Real Good Touring & Ten42 Podcast Producer(s): Stella Young & Julien Bensimhon   This Video Contains Paid Advertising

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We cannot wait. It sold out last time. Get your tickets now. Guys, and also don't, you can travel. Come travel and see us. We had a lot of travelers last time. We really did, though. We sold meet and greet tickets.

We had a fun meet and greet ahead of time. It was so fun. Q&A was so great. It was so crazy. It's very rare to get all three of us at a live event together. It's only happened once before. This is the second time. And we can't wait.

We'll see you guys there. Can I just tell you guys what the VIP experience is like? You actually just get to sit with the three of us to chat. You can ask us anything. There aren't any restrictions. It's such a sweet time to get to know each other. There's no cameras. So we just say a lot more.

Yeah. But you can imagine. And we deny anything you guys said we said. Yeah, we will not. We actually never said anything you said we said. No, they're lying. They're liars. And where can we get tickets?

Oh, the link in bio. Guys, it rules. We're not. It's like, I can't even believe what happened last time. There's a link below. Get tickets. We can't wait. There will also be limited edition merch available at this show, just like last time it sold

out like that. So we can't wait. Knock out your holiday shopping today and get 20% off your first order plus free shipping at MeUndies.com slash Trash Tuesday. That's MeUndies.com slash Trash Tuesday for 20% off plus free shipping MeUndies. Comfort from the outside in. Sluggy, sluggy, sluggies. I'm so excited. This weekend, I'm going to be in Houston, Texas at the Houston Improv. I love me some Texas, baby. So come see me. I also have my next Annie Wooden Friends at the Comedy Store December 21st. Then you can see me in Canada in Edmonton January 12th and 13th. I'll be in Jacksonville, Florida

January 19th and 20th. I will be in Denver, Colorado February 16th and 17th. Vancouver for the festival February 21st to 22nd. And I will be at the DC Comedy Loft in March. So go to AnnieLetterman.com slash shows for all those ticket links. Portland, announcing this right now. I am doing one of the last stops on this tour in Portland and Seattle. Those are the last two. So January 18th, I'll be in Portland and January 26th, I'll be in Seattle. And January 7th is my rescheduled San Jose show. I cannot wait to see you guys there. You can get tickets at Estherandice.com. And I'm so excited. Esther, is that an opal ring? Wait, I can't. How did you notice that? I'm obsessed with opal. Australian opal is like my thing.

Is it because it looks like go-go? On my back? On that picture? You tell me, I can see. I like never think twice about opal, but this is, okay, so you know how I told you guys, like when my grandma died, my dad gave every last one of her belongings away to like all the other relatives. Right. Because he was like, I'm never having kids.

I'm never getting married. Travesty. Which is like, okay, fine. But recently I got a text from like a long lost cousin who was like a relative of mine passed away and she was passed down this ring from her grandmother who was given it by your father. Basically. So in Chicago, my show, a relative brought me this ring. Now, did a relative know that you didn't get any of,

did they hear you talking about not getting it? No, but when they told me, I was, I literally poured out my heart. I was like, you have no idea how much this means to me. I've been searching. I like, I just, she was like, okay, I was going to give it to you anyway. I thought you were going to be like, are you a slug? And they're like, what? When you ask someone if they're a slug and they're not a slug, they're so confused.

They're like, what? They think you're calling them a slug? That does seem like really insulting. It's not good. Wait, can I tell you something about opal that I learned when I dated a jeweler? The reason you have to be really careful with that is opal is a lot more delicate than other gemstones. So the reason that I never got an opal ring and I always want an opal necklace instead is because I don't want to break it because you use your hands a lot. Is it valuable? Opal is very valuable.

Have you ever seen black opals? Okay, this is probably like $300. No, opals are so gorgeous. You should get it appraised just to know. But that's what someone said to me about emeralds too. Is that just what every jeweler says? So when they break your stone, they're like, they're actually more delicate than others. I had to give up the dream of quite possibly having the best engagement ring ever when I broke up with a jeweler. Because that could have been a really, really good rant.

There's more jewelers. There's more jewelers. I know, but it would have been specific. There would have been coral from like the fucking 1500s or some crazy shit like that. It is kind of fun to think about your exes and like what are the perks, the random perks that were not worth holding on to, but like you kind of miss. I always think about like if my exes, I did a post once where it was like the tiniest diamond ring. I'm like, if my exes I did a post once where it was like the tiniest diamond ring I'm like if my ex had proposed like just like the tiniest you're like it's like the little like baby like one of

these earrings like put on a oh that's cute thanks I just scanned my brain and I can't think of a single perk that one of my exes provided that I missed so I never mind on that subject. I mean, I was thinking about your exes as well. I can't imagine. Do you have any? Yes. So my ex was a math teacher, but now is like a high school principal. Was that good for role play? No, he was more of like the accountant of the home. Like when we were together, he was someone that kind of like still balanced his checkbooks. And I'm like, who the fuck does that? Like not online or on their phone? That's like such a weird thing my mom and stepdad still do. Yeah. It's very grandfatherly. Yeah. So he had those things where I'm like, oh, that's maybe sometimes what I need in my life. Wait, you dated a high school principal? Yeah. Yeah, she was in high school. I know. I know that. She was 16 years old.

You went all the way to the top to the principal? I did. I did. I shot. I know that. She was 16 years old. Wait. You went all the way to the top, to the principal? I did, I did. I did. I shot. I shot for the moon. Like, imagine, though, you're in high school and your principal rolls up and, like, you see Kalilah as his girlfriend. Like, every kid would be like, damn.

I know. They're like, oh, my God. Oh, no. And he is really good looking. Oh, really? So they all wanted him. Probably. Like, he's really good looking.

Not that that's an excuse to hook up with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not. Like, we had, did you guys? I was like, I don't know. I'm like, I don't think I'm a victim for him anymore. You're like, was the teacher hot? I know this is really, might be triggering for you, Annie, but was there anyone like

hot for teacher? Were you ever hot for teacher or a teacher in your high school? What was her name? We'll get to the hot for student in a sec, Annie. There was a teacher that like everyone thought was hot. But you know me. It's like when I know I have no chance, I try to just sweep it under the rug. But there was one teacher that was like.

Do you deny their hotness when you know you don't have a chance? Yeah. But then there was this really, really old teacher. Oh, my God. Like really old. Like Mr. Zagurski. Shout out from Old Orchard, Utah. I still don't have a shot don't mean to hurt your feelings no I know but like no can I tell you something we like had a vibe he was literally

like 88 like he was the only teacher that like my like older sister had him and you know she's eight years older like there was just he was there forever and we like there was like a vibe there's a playfulness she had him when she was 80. Yeah. He was old for so long. But are there any ex perks that you ever had? Like a good hook? Oh, I could have gotten like a really beautiful, it's not an opal, but it's a black eye. I probably could have gotten like, it's like I wouldn't have done it in my makeup.

It would look so like dark and smoky. I think I could have, it's like, I literally. It's almost like a black opal. It's the closest to jewelry I would get. It's got some shimmer in it. It was almost like if they did it often enough, it would be like getting a tattooed eyeliner on. I had a boy who was, he was a boy at the time. He, we were like in our early 20s.

He was an artist. And it was like cute. He painted landscapes. It was kind of boring. Like, sometimes there were people and everyone was like, is that me? Like, sitting and eating a picnic. So you like enjoyed his artwork? At the very beginning, I was like, this is cool. And then I was kind of boring. Sometimes there were people, and I was like, is that me sitting and eating a picnic? So you enjoyed his artwork? At the very beginning, I was like, this is cool.

And then I was like, ugh. But he came to Santa Fe to visit me once, and he brought all of his paintings. He was going to all of a sudden become a person that advocated for himself and go to the art galleries because Santa has a lot of art. And then he left, and we broke up. And then I just had his paintings.

So I dropped it off at an eBay drop-off store, and I was like, figure it out. What if you find out, if you watch like five years from now, you're just randomly watching Antique Roadshow and someone has brought in those paintings and they have somehow miscalculated and upraised it for $6 million. I'll call in and be like, guys, this is from 2008.

Oh, so you would blow their mind. You'll cancel it. Well, he wouldn't be getting the money, so. So if someone else would be. But wouldn't you be happy for them and just let it ride? I would be happy. Sometimes when I lose my credit card and it gets charged, I go, oh. I would seriously.

It seems like it's such a victimless crime. Wait, wait, wait. But what are they buying, though? What would they buy where you're like, oh, and what would they buy where you're like, oh, fuck no. If they spend like $100 at the dollar store, I'm like, oh, they're getting Christmas presents for everyone. Okay, that's sweet. That's sweet.

It's always the dollar store. I've had a lot of Walmart charges for like beauty supplies and stuff. Are you sure that's not you? I had to check. Looking at your makeup today. I had to check. Like every time I see them, I'm like, obviously this could be me. But no, there was some stuff like that.

Oh, isn't that so embarrassing when you're like, this isn't me. And then you like look and you're like, oh, that was me. That happens to me a lot. That's what happened. I just checked my Venmo transactions two days ago and I sent money to a person and it said not important. I was like, who the fuck is not important? That was their name on Venmo. And I almost, I called my sister and I was like, Hey, check my charges. This is fucking shady or whatever. And it turns out that I, no, I tipped, I was drunk and I tipped a stripper directly to her Venmo. A huge amount. Like single-handedly keeping the strip stripper community like alive, thriving during the holiday season. Single-handedly going to a strip clubs without us over and over again. It's like getting so crazy.

Yeah, I was telling you about the stripper though. Because wait, this better have not been in LA. You cheated on us. This is like you're just telling us something you cheated on us. No, this is,

I will not say where it is because it'll give it away, but she's from El Paso, Texas and I'm telling you I've never seen a girl that like skilled on the pole. I have fallen, you know I've fallen in love

with strippers before. Me too. Like that's a real issue I have. Clearly I spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars sending her a Venmo. Is it hard for them to catch the money

when you have to go up at them? I, down in your small, small stature? I don't, I'm not a stage tipper. I'm like, I buy dances

and like, we go, we go behind. Oh, a true lesbian. Oh wait, guys, guys,

I went to, okay, Robbie Hoffman had a birthday party slash party for her, premiere of her, guys, I went to, okay, Robbie Hoffman had a birthday party slash party for her, premiere of her, she did a 10-minute, like, hilarious 10-minute set on Netflix. I went, and it was just, like, a bunch of lesbians talking about, like, they were bringing their sex toys out and stuff, and I was like, she is now, Robbie Hoffman is now dating Gabby

Windley, who is my favorite Bachelorette of all time. Yes. They are dating, this is their first lesbian relationship. That is so cute. They're, like, going to get married. They're totally in love. But they were talking about sex in a way where I was like, Todd, we need to dyke it up in the bed.

Wait, say more? This is crazy. Like, they are, like, lesbians, I'm sorry, lesbos. I kind of thought you were just like cuddling a lot. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Was I wrong. Say more.

And here's another thing they're really good at, aftercare. Oh, precare, aftercare? Everything. In between care, everything pre-care, after care. Everything. In between care, everything. It's a whole experience. I did have a boyfriend that was really good at washing my dildos. Like, he was like, you're going to get an infection because I'm like, I'll let it crust up. You're going to get an infection.

I want it to crust up so I can just bang it on the table and it'll kind of like fall off. Like Christmas. But they like brought out, they have a dildo that's, like, you get, like, cummy lube. It's, like, cum. Yeah. Yeah, and then you can squeeze it and it comes. Julien that. And it was, I just was, like, and they were, like, are you, do you strap or do you strap?

I was, like, I'm a switch. I'm, like, I'm a switch. I'm a switch. And I was, like, I want to do both. I want both. I just was, like, Todd, we have to, like, really, like, maybe. How could you lesbianify your sex life? I wonder.

I think just, just like even more toys and just like switching roles and like one of you know what I mean I need to tell you guys something that I have like been wanting to share but it's like so sad and I it's it's like okay so I did not know this but when you're, and I don't think this is everyone. No, no, no. When you have an O-R-G-A-S-M. Sorry. You're.

A gone-gone, we call that. Your uterus, like literally immediately after, like it gives you these painful cramp contractions. I, the day after I found I tested positive back in July. You know, I was alone in a hotel room. I did my thing. And I literally was like, for COVID, you've had COVID so many times. That's what I thought you were talking about. That is how I revealed it today. But I was like, I tested positive for pregnancy. But it was so painful that I'm not kidding you guys. I have not had a single sexual interaction with myself or with anyone out on the street. Are you horny?

No, but the craziest thing is happening for the last couple months. I would say like three times a week. I have a vivid sexual dream where I'm just like, I just got to get off. I've never experienced anything like this. And it's so sad. Like sex has been taken away from me. But do you think that, wait till the baby's there. But do you think that you're having these sex dreams because you're not having as much sex as you usually have? It's got to be right. Like it's got, it's coming out somewhere because the

desire is gone when I'm like. But is the desire gone because you're afraid of the pain after orgasm? I think that was like the kicker. And then it's also just like, I feel so not like a sex. That's so sad. We all feel the opposite. I'm so sorry. You feel what? You've never been hotter. Really hot. Really? Did you see my comment? I almost felt bad commenting because it was too real and there's

probably too many people that agree, but I was like currently developing a pregnancy fetish. I mean, look, we already know my- You got the most likes of many things I've posted in a long time. We already know about my chatterbait history, so let's not even get into- Don't act like we know that much, okay, you weird stranger. Your belly. I mean, it's a hit.

And it's going to get hotter and hotter. You've never been more attractive. It must be then like a physical- And you also, I know you guys know this. I think it's about weight like uh how you look and how much money you have it doesn't matter what other people think about it's only what you what you how you feel about it because you can come in here and say I'm this and that I'm fat whatever but Annie it doesn't matter that's why I never say when a girlfriend of mine is like I'm fat

I'm like I stay out of it because I don't want to like is it is that wrong no you You know what it's kind of, this is like a little bit of a segue, but I've been thinking a lot about, I really, since I did ayahuasca this last time, really want to like be organized with things. And I'm like trying to really like time block and be organized and all this stuff. And I was talking to her, she works with people with ADD and she's like, yeah, but don't be hard on yourself. And I'm like, I want to be like, it's not hard on myself. It's just, I have come risen to the top of being like a sloppy bitch.

Like I'm the number one sloppy bitch in town. Like I have risen. I am the creme de la creme of like throwing it together and having it work out. But now I want to try actually like setting up a goal, having a deadline, finishing and feeling the reward of finishing a deadline. But everyone almost like talks me out of that. And they're like, no, no, no. Like you're being hard on yourself so I'm trying to really balance like what's self-discipline and what's like being hard

on yourself that is interesting because I like last week or a couple weeks ago when I was talking about like how I did punishments to like not flake on things and then I remember you brought up like oh I don't want to have consequence to be hard on myself. But for me, if I don't have the consequence, I just don't trust myself. I can't, you know what? Like I can't be like, oh, gentle Esther, like you'll do what's right. Like it's just, that doesn't work. This poor baby. Are you kidding? Dave and I are going to be like grandparents. I think that's my prediction for us. We're going to be like grandparents raising a grandchild. I think having older parents is going to make us like, because we're just through a lot of it already.

If you want your baby or child to see nature, can I strap her onto my back and just take her around? Anytime you want. Okay, cool. You on the other hand? You don't think my shoulders could hold the baby? Just because her shoulders are a little bit broader than mine. I have an extremely important follow-up question. What is that eyeshadow?

It is... It's so the right amount of glitter in 2023. It is so good. I just got it. It's Urban Decay. Of course. Of course. I love Urban Decay. Their eyeliner. And I have the eyeliner too. Eyeliners are the great. There's one shade of green that they discontinued, which I thought was like the best one. It's sort of like a lighter green. They don't have it anymore, but I'm really sad about it. Will you send a pic of it and then we'll post it for the episode? Yeah, I will. And I also use it as highlighter.

And everyone keeps thinking I have Botox. It's so cute. Guys, I just, I'm shimmering up. Yeah. I've just been, everyone's like, what's your makeup? I'm like, I am just over highlighting, bitches. I also use the Fenty like red um like shimmery highlighter and that's almost like a blush fenty is legit i love fenty bronzer

my makeup artist uh friend swears by her i love fenty a friend i don't have a makeup artist my makeup artist friend you guys don't you think it's time since we've had a lot of new sluggies come into this show and come into the slug community? Shouldn't we like reintroduce ourselves? Whoa. We haven't done that in a long time. Why don't we reinvent ourselves? I've done that a lot.

Can we do that for the new year? Can we do that for the new year? I'm there. I'm doing it. I'm literally becoming a mom. Wait. It is so weird. It's coming on. No weird wait no no no honestly this is the weirdest thing ever the first time you were pregnant I could not have been I was like because she was like I think she's with child I was like with child what the hell are you talking about the child is a child she's two feet tall and so this time I like not that I need to be

prepared for you to be prepared but I'm be prepared, but I'm so down. I'm so, like, not shocked. I'm so excited. Oh, my God. But how, okay, wait. How would we reintroduce ourselves and how would we reinvent? I'm into both of these. Just our new, who we're going to step into.

I love that. But we should do that in New Year's. But no, end of year. Okay, beginning of year two. Or whatever. We can do next year. Also, the origin story of the slug. People are asking about that. I believe,

I think it started because Kalilah was talking about having slugs as pets, right? No, I think it was because Esther was raised by slugs. So that was the first thing was Kalilah played with slugs and then you were like, made a connection to

that's me. Because you were raised by slugs. Like I imagined you in raised by slugs like I imagined you being raised by slugs yeah wait this has nothing to do with snail trail no sadly I think they all add in oh my god see this is what I'm talking about the misremembering yeah it's like you create your own origin story in your head I thought maybe we were talking about snail trails you thought that this was because I had a pet slug it is that i want to say talk about how you just said create how do i say create no also you know what create it's create i like that though no you you take it you're like you're like these are two words

create an eight create eight i don't misremember fuck everyone fuck science i don't misremember here's the psycho here we found the psycho of the group. I trust my memories. Everybody's been wondering. There's been a ball. Like, you know when there's a sing-along and there's like a ball? They've been like, who's the psycho of the group? This ball has landed.

I know when I remember and when I don't. And what I do know for sure, and we can cut back, find the old episode. It was very early on. You were talking about having a pet slug and you spun that. But it was a pet noodle. I never had a pet slug. That's why we're wrong you were talking about having a pet slug and you but it's a pet noodle I never had a pet slug that's why that's where we're wrong I've never had a pet somewhere because I just have an image I play with slugs you play with slugs and then maybe I went yeah well you were raised by them because I just imagine you as like living in like a little colony but we should acknowledge the fact that yes I did have a pet noodle and it was a chow mein noodle and I tied it to a string

and I um dragged it around for about a month that's why she cries when we go out for Chinese food and truly oh she's like you're eating my pets yeah eating dogs and I named and then one day my sister stepped on said noodle and my pet um can I ask you a question that might get us in trouble yes sir doctor um why is there like the sort of like racist trope that chinese people eat dogs i don't think it's just china either i think that asia in general like there is like a culture of eating whatever available protein there is at least for me like i can't answer about Chinese or Koreans, but in the Philippines, even growing up, that's something that we would accuse people of doing.

You'd be like, oh, don't eat that, like that's dog or cat meat. And that's something that we were told as children. And what I later found out was because of my drunk uncles, that they would get drunk, they would get hungry. There was no meat around because they lived in- They'd murder each other. But aside from murdering humans, they would get drunk they would get hungry there was no meat around because they murder each other but aside from murdering humans they would unfortunately no do this that's a starter find a dog and like and kill it and this would devastate me as a kid i'd be like why the fuck are you doing this and so those that's as far as i know i know it's not something that filipinos

do it's just something that has been told to me as a child that maybe my uncles have done. Well, if you think about like the kill shelters, it's like maybe they should- Annie. People with the dogs. No, Annie. What, they just throw the meat out? No, we're just no killing. Oh, oh, oh.

No, I don't think they should kill, but I mean it just exists. No, guys, don't kill dogs. I like how you said throw the meat out, so already it's... Well, once it's done... It's only meat for like 20 minutes. I have a question. Should we not extend that to humans then too? Or anything that, everything that dies?

But don't we get sick from eating humans? Make it spam. Just ground up the meat. Who cares? It's mystery meat. Do you think there is human meat in this? For the rest of the pregnancy? And you're the one with human meat in you.

Oh. Right now. Thank God, though, I'm not making a penis. That really helps me sleep at night. That baby's probably going to make a penis out of you when it comes out. What do you mean? Just the aftermath of a penis. Oh, God.

Esther, we have some fun news for you this week. Okay. Okay, I'm going to change the slide. It's breaking news. Breaking news. Ba-ba-ba-bum. Oh, my God, I saw this. Subway announces footlong cookies.

Yes. How do we feel? Okay, I got obviously initially excited, and then I just got sad because pregnancy has made me not enjoy food as much, and so food is like it's just a sad subject. But can I say Dave needs to bring one home for each of us and he cannot get a six inch for himself and also even bigger fast food news have you guys heard of Cosmix what is Cosmix McDonald's for the first time is launching like a side new concept of a

restaurant and the first one is opening in bowling brook illinois which is only an hour drive from where i grew up and like people are leaking the menu basically it's a new they're basing this new concept on like one of their 80s robot characters so you know how grimace like blew up this summer well there's this like i don't know that grimace i grimace at the thought to be honest i'm horrified of what i've been missing on TikTok. Okay. So it's based on one of their 80s characters, like good for McDonald's, blowing up their old IP, really using every part of the buffalo. But someone found the menu and it has all these cool sour cherry blast drinks that make no sense and are just pure poison and sound good. And then they have

like s'mores cold brew. It's going to be this revolutionary new McDonald's concept that will probably close in two years, but I'm very excited. I love that they're not just making it a healthy restaurant. I love a hard pivot towards the wrong direction. Yeah. It's like, why wouldn't you just, I was just talking about this before you guys got here, like, that it's like, if fast food restaurants really had, like, a truly healthy menu, we would,

they would blow up because you have choices. They've tried it, though. Everyone's tried it. Why do they take it away? Do you not miss the salads from McDonald's? I do.

Of course I do. McShakers. They were the best, but the problem, I think they were giving us salmonella. You just come to me. No, Julian talks about McShakers.

I talk about the McShakers all the time. Do you go there with your makeup artist friend? Friend. You know the McShakers had a higher calorie count than a Big Mac. We all remember. We all remember the early 2000s. But I don't buy it. The horrible truth.

Look at how chic this restaurant looks. It looks fun. It doesn't look chic. This is sad. You have pregnancy eyes. I have a seg. So Subway is doing a footlong cookie. Coincidence because I just saw Julie Schott. Yes. And she has this purse that, you know, I've never been a purse girly, right? Like you guys talk about purses and I'm always like, don't know. And now I'm fixated on this one purse and it's a very simple,

it's a very simple purse. It's by Puppets and Puppets and it has a legit, it looks like a 3D cookie attached to it. Can you pull up like cookie purse? She is Asian guys. It's official. And I don't know if we're allowed to ask like

fans for gifts this Christmas. If anyone would love to send this to me,'s not the mini i don't want the mini i want the small that's really cute and if you it keeps curling it's a 3d cookie it's 545 that's really cute it's an actual cookie i like the outfit and they have an egg and they have a banana one as well. They have a banana one? Oh my God. We need the banana one. Julie Shaw always knows the coolest things. She does. Like ahead of everyone.

She's the founder of Starface. Julie, the morning after pill. That we love and I've used a lot in my months of being single. Esther has gifted me many times. In her months of accepting opals. And then she also just launched like a thing to help kids stop vaping. Blip.

Yeah. Oh, I just started vaping. Interesting. And it is for kids. Okay, so are we- Once you taste the flavors, you go, this is for children. Really?

Yeah, it was like Botox or vaping. What do you mean? I was like, how do I look young? No, but this is so true because like my friend's, my friend just caught his daughter vaping and she's 12. And she was vaping with her friends on Snapchat. Like that terrifies me.

Kids vaping is scary because their bodies are, they can't handle it. You can handle vape. You can't. You as a, with a kid's body and a kid's body. Like you can do anything and like your body will just stay. I'm sturdy. I was born sturdy. You are a hardy, hardy Oscar fish. I I'm hearty I've never called myself hearty but I like it feels good no I was told by a celebrity doctor I won't name his name we know him um that I I said I want to

do something bad he goes all right I go can I vape he goes and I by the way I called him at three in the morning his time not even thinking that I was waking him up and he was like what do you want I was like oh I just want is vaping he's like, yes, not as bad as cigarettes, but bad. And I was like, oh, I was like, I want to do something bad. And he was, you can do it for two months. And then what happens at two months? I just stop. I'm good at that. Yeah, that is, I don't have that skill. I'm good at that. It's really hard. It took me two years to slowly quit weed so that I could get pregnant. And it took you 33 years to start. Yeah, I know. You guys, is this a crazy idea? Yes. Okay. 100%. Is this a crazy idea? And I have not told Dave this idea yet, so he will be finding it out when he literally spies

on us and listens to this. I told you I caught him listening to the Angela White episode, of course. Was he masturbating? No, but it's like, Dave, why is that the one you're listening to day of? That is the one I was listening in the car. Because I usually, when I watch it, you know, and he listens to it. And I was like, oh my God, we're all, that's when I think I texted everyone. I was like, we're all so different. Because on podcasts, I can never tell the people apart. But on this one and maybe

I'm just biased because it's us but it's like yeah of course we're different I'm like who's that dude it's not David So it's me Danny but so okay is this a crazy idea I think that when we have our kid I want to have no alcohol in the house ever, ever. And I never want Dave to even. And I feel so bad because Dave is the healthiest, most normal drinker. Like a glass of wine a couple times a week. He has his own little wine fridge even. But I'm thinking like I grew up in a house where there was never alcohol. No one drank.

And that I believe had a positive impact on me. Some could argue otherwise. But you're a real weirdo? Yes. That is also the very fair argument. But I'm thinking I want to tell Dave, like, no alcohol in the house once the baby's like— Okay, the only thing I would say would be, like, a red flag about that would be if he then would feel like he would have to sneak and then all of a sudden you give him an alcohol problem.

You, in turn, have somehow given him a weird sneaky. Like instead of being on his phone while he's pretend taking a shit like you all guys all of you guys do you would have the worst hemorrhoids if you were literally shitting for that long. We know what you're doing you're escaping us. He's just in there just sipping wine. Is that why you ripped the door of the bathroom in your home? Guys the door is there because I want him to be making a choice. I don't want, I want to know that my man has left it open. Okay? Esther, I think that as long as you're not imposing this no alcohol and not so obvious about it.

Yeah, I don't want to be obvious. Organically don't have alcohol because you don't drink and Dave is an infrequent drinker. But I think that there is something to be said about your child like observing Dave drinking very moderately and very responsibly once in a while. But like I do think that I don't also want my kids to think that cracking a beer open every night, having a beer and having wine with every dinner is something that's normal. Yeah, because that has happened in my family and in like my extended family and it has led to some real issues. And again, but I also have no judgments of drinking. Like, as you guys know, the moment I tried weed, I didn't stop eating and ingesting it for two years, like literally not one break. In fact, some nights I'd be like, oh my God, it's 10 p.m. I haven't

had any weed today. But I'm about to fall asleep. Take 20 milligrams, like, just to, like, keep my... That was me at, like, last call. When people would call last call at a bar, I would lose my mind. I would be like, shots! Shots! Oh my God. I'd be like, last call? What the hell are you talking about?

Well, that's why I think the 2 a.m. cutoff is so dangerous, because I was exactly like you, where it's like... I'm like, I'm about to get so fucked up, and then you're making me leave, and it's going to hit me while I'm driving home. That sounds so funny. While I'm driving home, officers. It's the government's fault. No, don't say that you drove home.

That's so scary. It was a scooter though, right? There are scars to prove it. It was a scooter though, right? Have you ever just had a scooter just ruin your life? I mean, it almost ruined your titties. But guys, it's cute. We reconstructed it.

Wait, okay. We put it back together. Humpty Dumpty. Is driving high like okay? Drove on a scooter. No. Oh my gosh. I was just checking.

I was just tricking you. Ketamine's okay. Ketamine's okay. Do you have this with your guys? Like I feel like this is like a dude thing where it's like he gets drunk and then he's like insists, tries to insist on driving. Like I never let him. But I always have to have such a serious conversation

like where I have to like grab the card, Tesla card. And I have to be like, I have to be like, I have built this beautiful life. Do you know how hard I work to have the best life ever? You are not shortening it. Like we are not dying. We're not getting a car accident. We're not killing anyone.

And then I drive home and then I do have to think on the way home, like it might've been safer with him drunk. Me sober? Yeah. I don't know. I can't promise you. Yeah. That we wouldn't have been safer. Dave never gets drunk. I, I, but I have had those moments with friends and I love those pep talks. It's so fun to give them. Dave, I rarely ever get to see him high or drunk, but when I do, like you, you best believe I'm like trying to like extract information. I'm trying to trick him and get him to agree to things like, and then he records her contracts. She has a file cabinet of contracts. He is so, and then he just like giggles. It's, I love it. I wish he, now I'm like, fuck, we'll have the

alcohol in the house. I want him to be drunk all all the time but i do think there's something to say about not making a big deal about things making things normal that's huge when i was a babysitter for like literally like crazy crazy rich beverly hills families when i first moved here it blew my mind they i walk in the kitchen every candy every cookie everything everywhere and i was like we never could have this in my house and the mom was like you just have it out so that it's not like special it's true yeah whoa that is how i felt about buying um seaweed salad from costco so i used to be obsessed with seaweed salad skinny bitch what an annoying no it's it's it's the concept i always eat seaweed salad is really sweet though it's so good so like you know when you go to a sushi restaurant they only really give you like

a small amount oh but they pack it underneath they pack it underneath with some bullshit but they keep you wanting more and you're like what the fuck so what i i'm like i love seaweed so much it's such a healthy food so then i bought bought it at Costco once and I got a big fucking tub of seaweed salad. I'm telling you, it rotted in the fridge. I no longer wanted it. It was too much. And it was like, well, it's just there. It didn't excite me anymore.

So I think there is something to be said there. But sugar is a drug. I would also be really careful with that. That's like intuitive eating, like where you're supposed to just not have anything be good or bad. Yeah, no bad food. My parents and I listened to that. It's like intuitive eating, like where you're supposed to just not have anything be good or bad. Yeah, no bad food. My parents and I listened to that.

It's like we were too far gone for this concept. We listened to it on like a road trip. It was probably like a Thanksgiving or something. We listened to it, and all we heard was, you can eat whatever you want. And we gorged and binged. Binge eating with my parents is what I have to say. Binge eating with my parents is one of my absolute favorite happy places in the world. Obviously it's a nightmare when it starts to digest and you're still shoving food down. At one point this Thanksgiving,

I had eaten so much food and my mother-in-law just kept cooking more. She cooked lemon boy, which is London broil, but she kept calling it lemon boy. I was like, she's like, I still have lemon boy, lemon boy. We're like, what the hell is lemon boy? Todd's brothers and I were like, we just always thought it was called lemon boy. We had no clue. So I'd already stuffed myself. Todd and I were going to get alcohol for the family. I took like a handful of it. She cooked it rare for us. I shoved it in my mouth. Meat by the hand? Yes, bitch. Meat by the hand. Don't act like you're better than me um I don't want to I was as stuffed as you but I was like chewing it it was like so chewy and Todd was like I cannot believe

you just did that he's like this is because I'm already I was already in like the sweats and the moans and like yeah but you gotta go if you're already there then just go full she's so happy when I eat her food yeah no you gotta go full suffering it's like look if you've already like destroyed your body destroy it some more it's also so fun when you eat her food. Yeah, no, you got to go full suffering. It's like, look, if you've already like destroyed your body, destroy it some more. It's also so fun when you eat a lot and then people are like, whoa, like that makes me want more. Because at that point it's a test, right? Like how far can I really take this? Will I die tonight?

Like there are moments where I'm just like, I've gone too far, but how much further can I take it is a really good test of like, it's sick. But I will say this about intuitive eating. I also came upon it a little too late because by the time I was, I needed, my sensors are all off. So there is satiety and when I'm supposed to know intuitively that I'm hungry, but I'm like, I've never once eaten for hunger. I've eaten for taste. Like I'm somebody who chases taste all day.

Kalilah, I have not been hungry in 25 years. I don't know. It's a foreign concept to me. I don't know what it is. I am thrilled to eat. It is like there are no bad foods is a huge concept that I took from when I went to like an eating disorder like 30 day treatment program and like Dave and I always say that now like there are no he'll be like is this unhealthy I'm like there are no bad foods because that has lifted the naughtiness because you guys are right once it's naughty it's so fun you want to well that's what my dad do I told you guys when I went home a couple times my dad picked me up from the uh airport and I was like yeah I've been fasting I'm like doing this like oh your mom and I we've really been like um dieting a lot and I go cool and they goes Chinese I go yeah Chinese and they're like immediately one got

Chinese but it was so fun and then so I look at it it's like is it bad if it's like this source of joy and I think about when my parents are gone and I binge eat it I'll they'll be binge eating through me yeah we will together it'll be like my bond to them and Dave who I consider to be very emotionally healthy he's always encouraging me like, eat, enjoy food. Like, I mean, he doesn't have, he's also saying like, slow down. But I just, I think that's like beautiful. That's sort of what I love about, I think I mentioned this before, my trainer.

My trainer is not, the reason I love Marlon, Marlon Fernando, is because. I know exactly what he looks like from that name. He is so like good about like rehabbing like my injuries and stuff. He just doesn't put any pressure on food. He's if anything, he's just like, don't forget to eat. Right. Have you had lunch? Are you making sure like, you know, like making just saying, hey, you need to eat. You're nourishing your body. I know how hard you work. So it's like he's the perfect person for someone disordered. Yeah. I like telling my trainer she doesn't shame me or anything, but she's not like, good job. But I'll just text her.

I'll be like, whoops. I just ate peanut M&Ms in the hotel. It's four in the morning. But it's like, whatever. Who cares? I'm obviously feeding something at that time. No, the worst I'm ever, whenever I'm doing the worst with food, it's when I'm trying to restrict.

It's when I'm like holding back. But as soon as I'm like, have it. Eat, Esther. Fill up. I'm good. You were so funny when I did the master cleanse. You were like, oh. It's bad.

It's going to backfire. Oh, boy. That's another thing I learned in my eating disorder training. Like the pendulum will always swing back. So it's like if you think you're killing it by like undernourishing yourself, the pendulum will swing back and you will have to refill.

Was it fun, the treatment? It was fun. It was me and a bunch of anorexic teens. It was really fun. I was there for binge eating disorder. Was the food good? We brought our own food and we had to like prepare our own meals.

Oh, it wasn't sleepover? No, it was eight hours a day. Oh, that's pretty intense. With the PHP, partial hospitalization program, it was embarrassing. Mine was a combo of all three. It was over-exercising, losing my toenails that way, like running 13 miles a day. And then I'm going on extreme, what they call, it's keto now, but it was Atkins. So I would count calories in like ketchup.

And so it was restriction and then binging so it would swing back and forth between like anorexia being like not eating at all over exercising and then breaking right because the pendulum would swing and then the bin then the purging and the vomiting and everything yeah i feel like very lucky that i never had like it never felt like my health was in danger i feel like so bad for people where it's like they're really seriously like in danger. But I do think we're talking about earlier. I did Weight Watchers with my mom and it is like a fond memory.

It was like a fun bonding experience with my mom. Especially if you fail together. It was so fun. Like we just had so much fun like counting our low calories, doing our little like points together. They had like this little book back then. Yeah, it was like a book and you would like open it right now. But they had this thing you could like,

like a little like clicker thing. It was just so cute. I don't know. I always think about like when my mom and I would like bleach our mustaches together. Like all these weird little things my mom and I did together were so fun. So I guess I'm trying to think about it all like that.

Like I've had a lot of fun in my disorder. Speaking of bleached mustaches. So I got laser down there for the very first time. Really? I really had to consider this because I was like, what if I want to hide behind a bush one day and I can no longer grow one, right? It doesn't last.

I've done it. It doesn't stay. Have you seen? Yeah. Have you seen Esther in shorts? Okay, so all the hairs in the front have fallen off, but my asshole hairs are hanging on. You're at the fryer talk.

They are not going anywhere anytime soon. And I had told the lady, I was like, hey, make sure you spread it and you zap those motherfuckers because those are the stubborn ones. It hurts so itchy to shave your ass too. And it's the worst thing to shave. And you know, before laser, they make you shave. I haven't shaved since high school.

Like I've gotten waxed. And so this was a really uncomfortable thing for me. And now I think my asshole has never been bushier. I, listen, that you migrated it. They just pushed it over. I will say this. I'm so glad you're bringing up waxing. I got sugared yesterday. My day off was all about my asshole. I got a colonic and I waxed. And I set

it up so that I would get waxed. First, it was I was getting colonic first and waxing. I was like, oh, that's going to fuck everyone over. I'm going to have an ass push for the colonic girl. And I'm going to shit on the fucking sugar ladies thing. So I switched. I flipped them. And then I was thinking when I was getting the sugar because it I waited so long that it was like a virgin waxing again it was like I had never done it and it was so painful that I was like I first of all I was sweating I was like I was in fight or flight I was like I literally feel like you're a tiger chasing me in the woods like I feel like I I feel like I literally feel like I have to protect my family right now. And then you get a high after.

But it took a sec. Well, don't worry. The colonic took the highway. But as I was leaving, I was like, you know what they should have? They should have, like, lollipops and stickers, like, when little kids go to the dentist. Like, there should be, like, a cute reward when you're done waxing your asshole. Yeah, that's a good idea. The asshole actually doesn't hurt that bad.

It's that top. No, the asshole doesn't hurt at all. I was like, am I bruised? Like, how did this? My girl's so funny. That's why I loved going to the doctor when I was little because our hospital had a McDonald's.

And so, like, the doctor was just getting McDonald's in my mind, my stupid child brain. That's smart. Yeah. Don't give it to me. Take it. Wait, I need to take your banana. What?

You want me to take your banana home? Maybe I'll take it. Okay. Oh, wow. i'll take it okay oh wow oh mama bear came out i decided during banana break this week you want it you can't have it after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you.

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I got like a burgundy, a forest green. Like they're very, they're like my holiday panties for the season. You know what my requirement is in all panties? A cotton gusset. I need a gusset. The fact that you guys know what a gusset's called is so wild to me. I need it because it, you know, it keeps my pH in balance. Let's just say that.

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And MeUndies is definitely my go-to for that. They're so soft that guys, even when you're picking them up to sniff, they're very nice on your list. And MeUndies is like definitely my go-to for that. They're so soft that guys, even when you're like picking them up to sniff, like they're very nice on your face. MeUndies are sustainably sourced and they work with partners that care for their workers. Aw. Knock out your holiday shopping today and get 20% off your first order plus free shipping at MeUndies.com slash Trash Tuesday. That's MeUndies.com slash Trash Tuesday for 20% off plus free shipping at MeUndies.com slash Trash Tuesday. That's MeUndies.com slash Trash Tuesday for 20% off, plus free shipping MeUndies comfort from the outside in. We also today are here chatting about our favorite merch drop,

our holiday collection. So excited. This baby blue shirt I've been wearing pretty much every day exclusively. Everyone loves the color. Everyone loves how soft it is. This baby blue shirt I've been wearing pretty much every day exclusively. Everyone loves the color. Everyone loves how soft it is. Dave asked for one, so we need one in a large for him. This crew neck is, I wear this around the house with nothing underneath.

And it is so comfy. I have it in an extra large. And this has just been my life. This has been my daily wardrobe, really. It was my Thanksgiving outfit. And you look so cute in the baby pink. I love this hoodie so much. And the boy slugs wearing this is, you guys look so hot. Men in a pink hoodie with three hot asses?

Cute, hot, and sexy. You're all of them, okay? Keep tagging us. We'll repost you. We love seeing you guys in the holiday collection. It's limited edition. Once it's gone, it's gone. And we can't wait to see your tags.

And you guys can get it at itstrashtuesday.com. Are you dancing while pregnant? I took 40 minutes of a ballet class this week, and it was a huge deal. A ballet class? They're like, no, back up, back up. That's what Kalilah needs for a parallel pregnancy. Honestly, imagine if like tomorrow you guys hear me saying like please i don't need to hear any jokes about this i don't want to hear

any judgment but i am in valet school and i'm learning to valet cars because i'm really because of how we shamed yeah you shamed me about my um why don't you just go to an eye doctor i don't think it's you know I think it's the relationship to space that you have I've been at restaurants where men just pull up and hand me their keys because they think I'm the valet so it's not totally off like is that like a teenager's job I don't know what I do have that though where everywhere I go people think I work there like it does not matter what I'm wearing I could be in Target in a green shirt and people are like, is there a restroom here, ma'am? I'm like, I think it's just I look. Yeah, no, I have that too. No, it's not that. It's because most women in LA like look put

together and we go out as we are. And so people just assume we work everywhere. I think we look like billionaires. I always think like the like shittier I dress, the richer I look in LA. You know that that bar, Break Room 86 in K-Town? In K-Town. I was there once years ago, and I remember I walked in. I'm like, every woman is wearing a skirt. I'm the only one in pants. And then this drunk girl immediately comes up to me.

She's like, can we have some more cups? I'm like, ow. Did you get them for her? Don't be a bitch. Can we talk about what's on the table? Yeah, so it's the sixth night of Hanukkah tonight. And my true love brought to me. Should we light the menorah then?

Yeah, you can light the menorah. It's latke, right? I made you guys some homemade latkes. It's not latke, it's latke. Latkes is like the Ashkenazi way, but yeah, latkes. Oh, then latke, I'm Ashkenazi. I'm Ashkosh. So there's applesauce

and sour cream, and then little Hanukkah plates for you guys, and then there's also sparkling cider. Did you bring us any gelt, bitch? I tried. You feel guilty about it? I tried. It's difficult to find. No. No. No, it really is. No, you're not vibrating on a Jewish level and you just don't see Jewish men. I was married to a Jewish man. So, you know, I started seeing somebody, right, who is like amazing, incredible. Like I actually think there's a path forward for us. Super excited about it. Gender reveal? This isn't a gender reveal.

But there is still that part of me that really wants to have a threesome. And I have broached a topic with him and basically said like hey would you be down for this it's like with a guy with not with a guy not with another girl basically it's like it's easy to just be like okay well you know you could just like hire a sex worker right and come in and they already know what to do or whatnot but for some reason that doesn't isn't quite as appealing for me as someone who is like wants to be unicorned yeah who also has that fantasy of being like i want to really join a couple but you want to have do you want to have a continued relationship with them yeah like i my thing right now is i want it to be i don't want a one-night stand i'm very specific about what i want i want this, has to be a person that I can go out to coffee with. Not quite a sister wife who has all

the perks of their relationship, but someone who is like, whose company I genuinely enjoy. And someone who can, who wants to have sex with me and my boyfriend once in a while. These plane tickets are going to start getting expensive. Bringing both of them back and forth from Hawaii. This is going to be wild, bitch. But you know what I mean? Is that too much to ask for? Someone who's just like, oh, okay,

it's sort of like a half-girlfriend. Would you ever go on Field? I was on there and it was a miss for me all around because I feel like Field is very like...

It's not Mrs. Fields. We're not talking about Pathy, so you're not interested. It's like high on kink and for me, I want something relatively normal like i want a normal relationship with the is this confusing i'm laughing at her eating her cheese while you tell this story why you're just in a different world than her right now i'm fully invested but she is having a threesome right

now basically but i guess you can't well i think that that's a pretty unique take, I think. So you would have to find someone that like would be cool with it. Because if I was a third, like I'd never want to, I don't know if I'd ever want to like hang out with them. Okay, so same. Because like the idea of me personally being unicorned by another couple makes me want to run away. Yeah. Like I feel like it's so icky to be like, oh, yeah, she's our unicorn. But it's like, no, like, I genuinely want a situation where it's like, she is, she likes

being a part of the trio, but like, she's in a situationship with us, but him and I are in a... Wouldn't you get jealous if she was spending that much time? No, but that's my kink, right? Like, my kink is watching the person that I love experience pleasure not for me wow well okay so this is just boundaries so it's and it's also like you're dating it's not it's like every other like dating situation right so it's like you're gonna have to like find the right vibe with people you're probably gonna have to try out some

people and see who fits you can't just like or maybe you can maybe the first person will be a complete manifestation how to find her. I think you should keep going to strip clubs and find someone that you vibe with and that you have a crush on. And then like find someone that you have the hots for in person, in real life, not on an app.

And, you know, maybe not through a friend, like through something completely separate from normal life. so it's not going to be someone that's like in your day-to-day ever but someone that you can have this relationship with that's outside of your inner circle and I think a strip club just because like beautiful women you'll get like turned on by someone and it might take a while but maybe maybe they won't want it but you can just kind of court you know yeah you just have to have boundaries and be open and just you know yeah i do wonder how it's gonna um play

out and it doesn't have to be like this super long-term thing where they're like committed to this it's just i just i'm not into one night stands they terrify me i need to get to for even for me to be attracted to someone there has to to be a connection. This is a real thing. Remember Jay Jordan was talking about how he had, his relationship had a third member of the relationship. They had a boyfriend. Yeah. They had a boyfriend. They were a married couple with a boyfriend.

And then the boyfriend, he, they were pissed because their boyfriend like ran off, which is like so funny and I love it and I get it. But like, so this is, this is happening. What you're saying. Yeah. I have a yeah I don't know if they're slugs or just I think they're probably fans of all of us but they come to all my shows and they're they're poly but they had a girlfriend and then one of them broke up with a

girl and the other one's still dating her oh they were like a threesome and now it's just like a twosome and twosome what's the g genders of the original couple? Women, all women. Oh. But they're so cool. I'm sorry I forgot your names. You know I love you bitches. It's just, this is very, it's a lot more common, I think,

than you think, honestly. Like this is a very, especially in Los Angeles. I know that it's super common in gay marriages. But even heterosexual marriages, like I have a friend, he really enjoys getting pegged. He enjoys. Is this like your makeup artist?

Yeah, the makeup artist friend. No, it's not. But they brought in another, I mean, they're a married couple, but they brought in another guy. Yeah. And they ended up just like hitting it off. So they just have it. Then I have another set of heterosexual friends who both have a significant other on the side. And they enjoy listening to what their partner did

with their significant other. Oh, that's super hot. My ex-boyfriend had that with his ex-girlfriend, but he didn't actually like it. And then he kept trying to get me to be in one, and I was like, you, I already saw what happened. Yeah, you have to go to the same page. I'm never really going to know how it feels

until I let it rip, right? Totally. Like, you got to just let it happen, and then it could be where i'm like actually you know what i don't love this situation and i'm feeling x y and z about it but it's okay i'm adding an extra layer and this might be ultimately um what stops me is i have a kink for really successful women. You're out, Esther. When I imagine someone coming in as a third, I imagine her making as much as me, being just as busy with her life, having a lot of things going on. That's super attractive to me. I want you with an architect that an architect that, like, does, like, development in Miami. Like, I met these women in my ayahuasca.

Like, they are, like, such badasses. Like, you need, like, yeah, a woman that's, like, top of her game. But they might have, like, a whole family. Honestly, there's so many. Do you know what I mean? Like, bitches that handle shit have, like, families, too. There's so many amazing, successful, hot women that are single right now, because all the men suck. Like, sorry, that's just what people say.

That's not my opinion. But, like, I think this is achievable. But also, do you need her to be single? So if she, as long as she's not in some really messy, open relationship, because I think that, but I think I would prefer it if she was single. Well, Dave and I

are bringing a third in. I'm excited to hear what you end up naming your girl have we thought about this do you know already I love how it's have we thought about this I think we have the name I think like I've known straight out the gate what it is like Dave pitched it a long time ago and he's a writer so he's like wanting to rewrite and like pitch new ideas. And I'm like, I'm like, we got it. Trust me. We got it. But I'm open to hearing his pitches, but I'm like, we got it. Okay. So during the Angela White episode, we talked about, or she talked about not knowing what dating means. And I think that we couldn't really come to a consensus either as a group. So we went to Instagram, we surveyed the slugs and we have results. Dating, 48% say dating means we're

exclusive but not official. 36% say dating means casual sex and some dates and only 16% say it's official and I've met the family. Wow, so we're kind of just all over the place. No one knows what the fuck we're talking about. Dating is I met the family? No way. But you know what? I've said I've dated a guy and he's met my family. And it's like, where am I? Am I talking to someone

where I don't want to like get into it too much? I'm like, yeah, the guy I'm dating. And wouldn't you say the guy I'm dating just met my family?

I can imagine saying that. It's like, you don't want to say names. I think it's like, you just went on the third date and you're like, that,

it just keeps getting better and better. We're dating. Yes like that's it to me it's like a waffles rule yeah i agree wouldn't you say exclusive is like that's my boyfriend no because exclusive just means you've agreed not to sleep with other people but you haven't quite put the label on it what no you're in a stage in filipino courtship this is the stage of mutual understanding oh no she's mutual understanding so it's not you can't talk to me like that we're not dating so i i get this um but i have used the term dating

for when i first hook up with a guy all the way to till he meets my family you call men boys too you're just saving yeah it's just it doesn't matter yeah the boy i'm dating yeah the boy it's like whatever they don't like that very much, I find out. I know. We— The men don't like that. The guys were dating. The boys were dating.

No, where I'm like, oh, I met a boy. If I refer to them as like boys, they're like, oh. Like they don't say anything about it. Well, I always— I say it so endearingly. I always say like, you're so cute. And I had a boyfriend who was like, stop calling me cute. And I'm like, cute is the highest form. Like where I am just like, I like fucking love you. You're so cute. And I had a boyfriend who was like, stop calling me cute. And I'm like, cute is the highest form.

Like, where I am just like, I, like, fucking love you. You're so cute. Feel safe with him. Oh, you're so cute. Like, cute is way better than handsome. Yeah. Like, handsome is, like, maybe I'm not even into you. Yeah.

Call him sexy. Guys, I'm going to be honest. There's definitely moments when getting called cute is, like. I hate getting called cute. Jesus Christ. Hot. Well, guys. We're talking to the wrong people over here.

You guys are too horny. Cute is great. I cannot call a man sexy. Really? No. I'm sexy. I'm sexy, yeah. That's like all I say.

That's so funny. About men? Yeah, men I say. Well, maybe it's not working out. Twice divorced bitch. That's the problem. I'm not calling them cute. No, I say hot a lot in sex.

Hot is good. I won't go, where's my handsome? I'll go like, where's my handsome guy? And sometimes I'm talking about Randy. I think hot is probably perfect. It depends. Like, I'm like, who am I talking about? But would you look in the middle of passion?

Would you be like, oh, you're so cute? No, I would never. I'm saying pretty hot. I think I use cute for everything good. Like, I'm like, that's so cute. This is so cute. My friend was telling me that. She's like, you always say everything's cute. I'm like that's so cute this is so cute my friend was telling me that she's like you always say everything's cute I'm like because that to me is like my highest like excitement that's adorable yeah I mean I wouldn't be a cute calling him cute while he's eating my pussy of course I used to you have to understand

I'm just like becoming a grown-up right now and I'm I've just gone through all my trauma to become like an adult and so I my fantasies used to be, I used to have to pretend that we met at, we went to different high schools, but we were like, and we met at a party, but we were in high school and we were like hooking up on like a couch downstairs. But like, that was like where I was at. So I was stunned. So like a cute boy, like I met a cute boy. Like that to me is like the top.

I get it. Yeah. Like if you want to get my pants off, like call me sexy, but not you guys. I'm talking to, I don't know why I'm talking to Todd. But if I'm like giving you cues to call me sexy, it's when I'm calling you cute. I don't even want, sexy is like 90s to me. It's sexy. But hot is what I mean too.

But I mean hot. Yeah. Todd, when we were first dating, he like crawled in like Leonardo DiCaprio. Like that was very good. And you should do that more. Beautiful is also nice. No? Gorgeous.

But you guys, I made fun of on Annie what I made fun of. We made fun of how Todd's dad always calls me gorgeous and puts fire emojis. And I was like, did I even post a picture if I don't get a gorgeous? Gorgeous is an old man compliment. But here's the thing. I love it. And I'm so flattered by it. And now he doesn't do it because we shamed him.

And I'm so sad there's an absence in my life it's confusing to be with us sorry guys we have another poll what's the other poll so when venting to a guy friend what do you want them to do how do you want them to respond okay i know exactly what i want them when i'm venting about a guy my friend schmidt did it and he's like why i ended up dating Todd he would go I'd be like this guy is like not texting he goes oh you mean a guy can't handle how strong and and gorgeous you are he can't handle being with a woman like he literally flattered me so hard and then he was like you know you should date is Todd and that's how I got with Todd no way he buttered me up for Todd but I used to take Todd out and complain to him about guys we will go that's how our friendship

started and Todd would be like he he'd have just nothing to say. He'd just sit there while I vented, which is what our relationship is now. Okay, so 74% said just lets me rant and agrees with everything. 22% helps me fix the problem. That's definitely me. I always want help fixing problems. And 5% want them to zone out, which is also kind of good. Both. So there are times when I need help where it's like, hey, I'm coming to you for solutions

or I'm coming to you because I just need to get this off my chest or two very different things. But I think I think it's really important to like if you're the person who's listening to kind of say like, hey, like what like how can I like what do you need right now? Like do you need answers? Do you need solutions or do you just need, and when I just need to rant, please just let me rant. Yeah. Like I just need to get it off my chest, unload, because I already know the answer. I just need to process it with somebody. That's such a waste of a rant to me. Really? I'm not ranting for free. I want help at the end of my rant. You want something in return. But also I feel like like when I rant like that sometimes I'm like oh I think I need to journal. Like when I rant and

don't want a response I'm like I think this was supposed to be into a page to myself. Yeah. And then but like with Todd it's so funny because I just love to talk so much that he does not like 90% of the time I don't need him to be listening. I just need his head to be near me while I'm talking. And then sometimes he's not answering and I'm like, hello, do we have any input? And then he's like, oh, okay. Well, that would really set me off, I think. Like someone not listening or someone- It's not that he's not listening.

It's he's not like putting any input in. I'm like, and then I'm like, all right, well, what do you think I should do? We have a game. Okay. We're going to play Trash Tuesday's version of the dreidel game. So the dreidel has four sides. It's a top, a spinning top.

It has four sides. For Trash Tuesday's dreidel game, we have questions from the fans, from the slugs that we got today. And you guys are going to spin. And whatever it lands on, you guys have a specific side that's dedicated to you. And gimel means that all of you have to answer the question. Got it. Okay, so grab some dreidels underneath the menorah.

So Kalilah, how does Kalilah not let all of the hate get to her? I just let the hate get to me. No! No! Hey! You need to none. you need to none you need to none um no i mean you just there's no way for certain things like that's an impossible thing for nothing to get to you right something's gonna get to you and to say that you're just above it all of your you've risen and nothing hurts you anymore is like so fucking delusional i wish i could do do that. But no, certain things get to me. But you just say it out loud to yourself every morning. You say,

you know what? I want to keep it pushing. I want to keep it pushing because I like what I do. I like what it affords me in this life. And I have the love of my family, my friends. And that's it. That's it. Like if you start to kind of lose focus of that, I think that's it. That's it. Like if you start to, um, kind of lose focus of that, I think that's where you get in trouble. But like, I have a lot of support and love in my life. And like, that's what gets me through. I wish I could say, oh, it's all me. And it's all like my own, like mental fortitude, but it's not like I have good people in my life. I have great therapists. Now I have mushrooms and it really helps a lot. I was going to say there's like this bachelor, Clayton, he was like a couple of seasons ago.

He's been like learning to dance and posting these like, and he's not like a good dancer. It's like really funny. And he's like, I don't care. I just express myself. But then he responds to every comment and every comment is like, that makes fun of me. He's like, you think it's cringe. I don't, but it's like, you're so affected affected by these comments but it's kind of cute how he's like trying to like positively overpower it's funny to watch people deal with it all you you just honestly it's day by day because some days i'll be like oh my god i want to you know like it hurts a lot other days you're like you don't even know it exists because i'm underwater and also you like know yourself more on some day you know what i mean yeah but also like at the end at the end of the I love myself I like who I am I like who I've become in the last couple years I like who I who I've been

who you are too thank you and I just really go to bed at night thinking you know what Kalilah you've harmed no one today like you're a good person and like you have a big heart and like that's it like you just have to be okay with who you are on the inside and I think that gets you really far in life I saw this thing where this guy was saying like if someone came up and was yelling at you like I don't say I'm not saying this is true for you but for me it's been helping me get out of it if someone came up to you and was like your hair is blue and it's ugly like how would you like what would you would be like okay crazy person my hair's not blue yeah but it's like so why am I taking on insults that people are giving me? It's like, why would I let my self-esteem be so much less

than like this random person's opinion? Because sometimes being misunderstood sucks. It really sucks. I think mine, and you can't do anything about it. For example, like I posted, I used to, when I thought that I wanted to be a poet, and I would post these poems onto Instagram like a decade ago that were written when I was like 17, 18. They were super, super emo, super embarrassing.

But I was like, you know what? Like, I'm just going to go through my little book of poetry and post it. Gross. But then now there are people who are like, this was about Bob. Like they're breaking down my poetry that I wrote when I was 17, 18.

And like like that's when that's when you're kind of like you guys like really yeah really like you got it all wrong you're wrong yeah but you cannot the thing is with what I've learned through Kalilah's sort of like play in all this bullshit is like I obviously know the truth and the truth has been said so many times and you just realize like that with the people that are trying to make up these stories like we'll never be able to control that narrative like they it's in their head they're creating what they want and it's like has nothing to do with us they will only believe they will only watch things that confirm the bias exactly they're not going to watch or believe like bobby could straight up look at these people in the face and be like, I did this to this girl.

I wanted new pussy. And give them the facts. And they would be like, dude, she probably did things for you to do that to her. So it's like, you're never going to win. You have to accept

that you're never going to win. You're never going to take back what is said about you. And you just have to be okay with yourself right the people that who who are in your life that's right and that's just fucking it i kiss my dogs every night and i hope the next day you know is relatively um okay and she doesn't jerk them off okay guys this is a funny thing she said like a million years ago you know it's also not forced to jerk

off a fucking dog by my family member when i was like six and now apparently i'm into bestiality i know you've animals you're animals this concept though is also not exclusive to just like online or being in the public eye it's like you can also there's people who just in their workplace it's like they're misunderstood by people or like someone doesn't like them and there's nothing they can do about it's like they're misunderstood by people or like someone doesn't like them and there's nothing they can do about it. It's like this is an everyday like in your life thing too that we all have to just like the sooner we can all like learn to just love ourselves and work on accepting being misunderstood, the better. Can I say what the up there is an upside to all of this and the upside is my whole

life I've been a people pleaser someone so driven by perception because somehow I wanted to be told that I was lovable enough that I was worth loving that even so much as a good job Kalilah my whole life I've been striving for that because I never got that from my parents, right? So I'm somebody who people please my whole life. What this whole thing has forced me to do is to do away with perception and accepting that I am very polarizing,

that some people will absolutely hate me, some people will love me, and I am okay with that as long as I am authentic and by the way all the bad bitches are thank you thank you so like that's like kind of like oh I'm now it's broke my people pleasing like tendencies because it's like now I don't even have control like I'm literally hated by like a lot of these men and I have no control of it. So it's like. You're free. Fuck it.

I'm free. That's good. I love that. So. My parents never told me good job, but that just made me not ever need to hear good job. Oh, really? We had a different, what? I don't, I have the opposite.

Me too. Esther, that's so fucking cool. That's so, yeah. You basically, no one ever was like, no one ever was like, you're beautiful. You're talented like no compliment so it's like strangers would say that to my mom would go no like okay i'm not wow esther that's you you almost kind of just like uh rebelled against the trauma of it all i just i i'm trying to figure out is it like alcohol just like wasn't in the house i think you'd see like, I saw too many other people

getting maybe because we were playing sports, you would see other people getting a job so much that it was like, wait, why am I not getting that? And I'm doing the best and somehow the people doing, you know, worse than me are getting celebrated by their parents. I was doing I was I was doing I was in the woods one day doing like a hike on a on a weekend I was away and there was this little family it was a bike trail and they were like biking and this dad was like two dads obviously they know how to raise kids they were like so cute they were the one daughter was like good job like she was just like going so slow and he's like good job keep going and I was like almost started crying I was like oh that's exactly what so now I'm like really conscious of

I have to like reparent myself I have to tell myself all the things that I wasn't. I do seek some validation, you know, like from Dave, I'll be like, was this good? But it doesn't lead, it's not people pleasing. I do want to do a good job. I want to put good work in. Like I wanted in high school, I always, I wanted to get like the leads in the plays I never got them I wanted to do really well at dance but I never was always about like me and my journey it was never about people pleasing or like doing it for my parents to think I was good like because that was just not on the table like 90% of what I, I did for usually a boy or like for women and specifically to do things for yourself. Yeah. I didn't learn until 40 for that, but it is funny. Like I can

kind of tell what I'm missing by how impacted I am when someone says it to me too. My mom randomly, like I started doing like a lot of work on myself and all my trauma and my mom randomly sent me a card that just said to my sweet girl and I realized she had never called me sweet. And I was like, oh, I have this idea that I'm like rotten and bad. And my mom saying that, I was like, oh, that's, I need to like fill my up my sweetness and like acknowledge my sweetness. And now Todd, I have a partner who like, he calls, it's like so funny. He's like, good girl.

Like everything I do, it's like so hilarious. Like I'll be drinking water. He's like, you drinking your water? Good girl. It's like, I love it. I I do, it's like so hilarious. Like I'll be drinking water. He's like, you drinking your water, good girl? It's like, I love it. I think Todd is really good for your inner child. I think that ultimately when I see you guys, I think about like he gives you all the things

that maybe you didn't realize that your younger self like needed that safety, that like positive, like reinforcement. Like I think it's so sweet. If Dave ever said good girl to me, I would cum in my pants on the spot. Like that. I think it's so sweet. If Dave ever said good girl to me, I would cum in my pants on the spot. Like that. I know it's incredible.

Wait a second. That is really hot. Yeah, good girl is a good thing. Good girl. Oh my God. Good girl. Yes, that's true. I say good boy all the time.

The fact that you're hearing that when you drink water, like I don't know how you have the strength to just be okay. Everything's wet. I'm very hydrated. Do I have to spin the... I think this is a very interesting question that I would all like you to answer. What amount of lighting is the best and the right lighting for sex? I have my answer, but I need to just see a silhouette and I need mostly darkness. I don't need my body to be in

full display. And the reason is I need to check out of my surroundings. I'm somebody who looks at a ceiling and a crack and then I can kind of, that can take me out. So I need for me to be in my body and in my feelings, my head has to be checked out. So darkness does that for me. I thought this was a lightning round, not the lighting round. I need the TV, obviously the glare of the TV. Otherwise, pitch black. The sound. Yeah, the sound. I swear I need all of the above. Sometimes it's a pitch black time. Sometimes it's a full light. A full light, Esther? Yes. That's actually my default. Me too, Esther. But yeah, like I need need to see i need you to see i need to see like this is what

we're hiding this no but then now you know 11 years in it's like it makes it more exciting when you change it up yeah sometimes it's like the little side light i don't like candle i like the danger of a house no wait a candle would be fun i should try that's kinky to me well you're right you're right. You're right. Variety. Yeah, variety is probably good, but I do not like, like, fluorescent. Fluorescent. I don't mix wanna.

Oh, you never banged anyone at a temp job, eh? A little temp pump. Do you have color-changing bulbs? Any of you? I wish I did. That sounds really cool. A strobe light?

Oh, my God, a strobe light! And you're, like, having a seizure, but you're also coming? Red light would be really fun. I would like that a seizure but you're also coming red light would be really fun I would like that red and pink yeah red light

takes away all of the red would be hot that would be like strip club my friend told me that she was like hooking up with her husband and they were in a hotel

and she like put like a thing over the lamp and he was like don't do that and she's like no no it's fine and then it did

catch on fire while they were banging kind of hot. That's so funny. That was probably a really good one. She did also burn their house down at one point, so I think it might be her. Well, happy Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah.

To everyone out there who observes. Ryan Lockheed mostly because we just had some really good Lockheeds. I hope you guys find yourselves some Lockheeds. It's really hard to find anyone under 60 who will make them for you. So I wish you well and good luck. And we wish you a Julian in your life. Yeah, it was so good. They're delicious.

I think it helps if Jew is in their name, honestly, Julian. We will see you guys next week with a brand new episode. And we love you. And happy Trash Tuesday, December. Bye.