Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Crotch Rot

Episode Date: March 2, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsor: BlueChew - Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code BATHGIRLS at checkout--just pay $5 shipping at https://go.bluechew.com/bloodbath Subscribe to our YouTube! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPod Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudio Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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me for when kalilah was like i have some pants you can try on that i didn't go are you kidding bitch am i gonna fight are you serious no they're gonna fit you they're No, they're going to fit you. They're these types. They're the stretchy, like one size fits all. Oh, I like that. Then why wasn't I offered them? Because you're ugly. You're half my size, Esther, and these are going to be real pants for you, not cutoffs.

When Esther said that she had short bell bottoms and we both thought about shorts styled in bell bottoms. With the bells at the knees. Now I want to make that. Hello everyone and welcome to Blood Bath. It's a show where there's no murder yet. Where we punch Esther until she bleeds and we throw her in a bathtub. We may get into a fight because we disagree about everything, but we're still best buds. It's Bloodbath.

Welcome. Oh my god. She also has like a little cotton mouth, so it's ASMR-y. Cotton mouth, you poe. I really do, whenever I think about the three hot mouth, you poe. I really do. Whenever I think about the three of us, for some reason, I love referring to us as old fat whores. It's like my addiction. I don't know why.

I just love that we're just old fat. Just take it out of the haters mouths before they can try. Well, it was interesting to see how everyone views themselves when we were trying to pick a name. Because we wanted bitch beach and Esther goes I've never I was like I've never been I'm not a bitch I've never been called a bitch I'm like I have single-handedly called you a bitch so many times that I why am I still wearing a mask you're just you're in the life because we even though we tested negative you we didn't get like gonorrhea tests. That's true.

She doesn't want Esther's crotch rot. What do you call that? Crotch rot? That's so funny. The only other person I've ever seen crotch rot is my dad. It's like from the 50s. I know, but was that just like an umbrella term for any and all STDs? I think that it's usually, I would assume it's more of a...

Like an underwear is kind of stanky? You mean a Wednesday? A Thursday? No. An itch? I will say that different parts of the month have different aromas, right? And also if I'm really anxious, it also, my body gives off a different, it's the same, you have the same glands in your armpits

as the ones you do in like your pubic area and when you sweat when you're anxious it's a different smell than when you sweat when you're working out it says we're low self-esteem come get us you know here they go the three old whores talking about their rotting crotches right out the gate i was thinking of like an athlete's foot of the crotch. It's like guys would get it. Crotch rot's more of a man thing. That's why. I feel like that's our log line.

Three old whores. Yes, it is. Three old fat whores. But we look younger. We look younger than we are, but we'll remind you. No, that's. That we're not. That's why.

That's why it's because we're all hot and we are not old. Like, that's why I like it also I just had to address a negative comment that was like look at them five minutes and they're talking about their vaginas it's like sir yeah you talk about our vaginas let us talk about them but also do you have you had a girlfriend for longer than a week like have you had a period a girlfriend for one full month ever? Who cares? I'm not doing well today because my car wouldn't start. Oh yeah, what happened? So Annie had to drive over?

Wait, she calls me panicking. She has her makeup done, which is, I'm panicking. Once I see her makeup, I go, are you okay? Did someone die? Are you going somewhere important? Are you stepping in your casket? Has someone done your makeup for your final departure? I've just

been embalmed. I wanted to do it while I'm still alright. Never mind. And she goes, why is this happening? Because your car is from 1992. It's from 2001. Which is the 1992 of 2020. What's your make and model,

Esther? It's a 2001 Toyota Camry. And it sounds exactly like that. Well, it used to. Yeah, that's moving. But I'm really sad I've had this car. This is the car I drove myself to ballet class in when I was 18 and I got my license two years late. And now it didn't work. It didn't start today, so I'm sad. Did you have your little ballet slippers on when you drove? No. Did you have your little toe point shoes on?

No. Did you have little bound feet while you drove? No, bitch. Were you wearing your tutu? Did you ever get your tutu stuck in the door? We only wore tutus for our recitals, not for class. 18-year-old ballerinas, first of all, exist? No, but I'm...

Were you in a kid's ballerina class because of your height? The first thing I did, my car won't start. I called Annie. I'm like, oh, my God, oh, my God, my car won't start. And she was very nice. She's like, we'll come get you. Like, you got part of it right. It's AAA.

It's not call Annie. Then I call my dad. And she was very nice. She's like, we'll come get you. Like you got part of it right. It's AAA. It's not call Annie. Then I call my dad. And of course, my mom answers. And I'm like, my car won't start. And she has a big smile on her face. She's like, oh, I guess you have to get a new car. But I'm not. I'm not going to.

I'm not giving up. I'm going to call AAA tomorrow. Is this the first time that it's ever broken down? Yes. It's just she's acting like the car's done forever. You've never had to jump your car. Your battery's dead. Yeah, it's just a good chance your battery's just the first time that it's ever broken down. Yes. It's just she's acting like the car's done forever. You've never had to jump your car. Your battery's dead. Yeah, there's a good chance your battery's just dead.

We could have probably fixed it at the house when we picked it up. Really? Yeah. Thank God. I really do like, I think that the car really is your brand. Thank you. Yeah, dented, disgusting, filled with trash. It smells bad.

The smell was. Nobody wants it. The fender's hanging off. It's not funny. It's really unfunny. People get very serious around it. I will say that when I got into it this morning, I was like, this smell has taken a turn. In what direction? Like unmanageable direction. Like where the Taco Bell was ordered vegan style, but then now it has cheese. Wow. It's de-veganed itself. but then now it has cheese.

Wow, it's de-veganed itself? Wait a second. Esther, was this the very first car you purchased in your life? Purchased? No. Gifted? Gifted. And how old were you?

I didn't, so I was, I never had a car in high school. I still have dreams about it. Thank God. They didn't have enough phone books to have real ones. Like I still have dreams like how I wish I had a car so bad. And I didn't have a car in college. We couldn't afford it. And then when I quit school, I was like, I'm going to L.A. and need a car. I'm doing this with or without you.

And my dad, it was like time for him to get a new car, kind of, because it was already 10 years old. That's such a rude thing to do. Like, I'm giving up on my dreams and making you proud and also give me a car. How old were you guys when you got your licenses? I was 16. I got it right away. 18. And then when did you actually start to drive drive?

Because I know you live you lived in Philly and in the city, right? And in Chicago. Oh, wait, you weren't. You're in Skokie. Yeah. Skokie suburb. So you have to drive around to get around. Home of the world's best bagels and pita

And the best Mediterranean food Is that true? Yes Mediterranean too? Yes If you were to be a food you would be a bagel Or a pita There's nothing really there until you add Something else What are you the cream cheese?

Yeah I'm the creamy crusty cheese I'm the creamy, crusty cheese. I'm the everything. The everything. The seasoning. So going back to the embalming, Esther, earlier, when you embalmed yourself earlier before you walked in, I wanted to ask you guys what your thoughts are on live funerals. What? When people have their funerals before they pass.

Have you ever heard of that? I think I saw it on Empire Records. A living funeral? Yeah, that's what it's called, right? A living funeral. Like in Weatherman with Nicolas Cage, where he basically hosts his dad's funeral and the dad attends and everyone's there.

So you hear what everyone wants. There were parting words for you. Oh my God. The thought of a live funeral, living funeral, is very sad to me. It makes me cringe. I don't know. It makes me uncomfortable. You don't want to see your child casket?

You don't want to see your baby casket? You'd rather they talk about you afterwards? Well, it's so sad. Everyone would be so sad. Do you think that they'd be more... That's really presumptuous. sad everyone would be so sad do you think that they'd be more presumptuous your mom would be like this is a little easier for me i'll be real this is kind of nice no but that's always what i wonder is someone more complimentary about you before you die or

after you after that's what i'm saying so it's like wouldn't you want them to say to you know like they won't mean it until I'm gone. Exactly. So it's a weird, it's a fool's errand. This is like a, it can't really ever be. I like the idea of being the person that tells the truth at the funeral. Like you just go and you go, this person was like very mediocre. I mean, that fast.

Are you practicing my eulogy? Have you guys ever delivered a eulogy? No. Oh, but can I tell you about my eulogy? Have you guys ever delivered a eulogy? No. Oh, but can I tell you about my grandfather's funeral? So my grandfather died actually like four years ago, like to the day pretty much that we're recording this, maybe a few days. And Dave came to his funeral with me and we were sitting towards the front row. My grandmother was in front of us. and we were sitting towards the front row.

My grandmother was in front of us and my aunt, who is, you know, his daughter, gave a speech and she was kind of going on about like how he actually loved poetry and just kind of saying all this stuff. And as soon as, or no, not, I'm sorry, before she, right before she ended, my grandma just sits there and we just me and Dave hear her go way too much. And to this day, like in there, like me and Dave were just laughing in the second row of my grandfather's funeral. And we always say it to each other now, like randomly.

And we always say it to each other now, like randomly. It's like our inside joke way too much because it's so it's so nasty to say to someone that's like giving a speech at their own dad's funeral. It's so mean. I do feel like if the spouse is alive, though, and someone dies, you are performing for them. It is about them. It's not as much about the person. Like if my. I never did. I don't remember my grandparents funeral. You were born out of an egg, right? And like if my, I've never, did I? And he's like, I'm not human.

I don't remember my grandparents' funerals. Well, you were born out of an egg, right? I was hatched. A shark egg. I was incubated. I was at the bottom of the sea. That's why I like crab legs so much. No, but what were you going to say that it's the funerals for?

It's like it should be, if the spouse is alive, you should be just doing what they want. You should be making them happy because they're next. I actually, I don't agree. If it's your own, like if it's your, maybe if you're, I don't know. I don't agree. I can't. Yeah, I guess, yeah. If one of my parents died, I wouldn't be thinking about my other parents.

Yeah. Because it's her daughter. It'd be your moment. At my dad's. That sounds very jazz handsy. I'm like, all right, hit it. One, two, three. At my dad's funeral. Well, it wasn't a real funeral or funeral. It was like a home service, if you will. We had this woman. Her name was Sister Cleo. So when I first when we first psychic almost, you know, she kind of had the same. She was a black woman.

She was really just the most loving, affectionate woman. But when we first came from the Philippines, my dad had fallen into step with like a Nigerian Mennonite church. I don't know how or why, but my first few months in America were purely around this church. Like we would go to Sunday testimonials, like my sister would do like the Ric Flair dead man's drop, like to pretend like the spirit had overtaken her. So when my dad died, these people came over to our house, maybe just like five of them. And Sister Cleo insisted on singing Amazing Grace. And you would think that, you know, she was going to just, you know, have a stellar performance. But she was so off key.

My sister and I had to face the wall because we were crying. We were crying. We could not hold our laughter in. That was the perfect time for your sister to pretend to be possessed. Just take over the show, but do it on rhythm. So she could follow her. Kalilah, I've been wanting to ask you something. So Annie and I both have old dads.

How old was your dad when you were born? Well, it's actually sad because he was 42, I think, when I was born. But it felt like he was elderly. 42. So mine was 44. And I feel like we've bonded. We have really old dads. But then Kalilah rolls up.

And how old was your dad when you were born? Not only is my dad dead, and not only did he die. He was the oldest man living on the earth before he went. You guys, my dad was, he was in World War II. He went through the Great Depression. Like, he was born in 1924. So when he died, he was 79. That was in 2003.

But how old was he when you were born? Esther's car was only two years old. When I was born, he was already 62. So you're like old sperm. I am super old sperm. That's why I think I have a lot of weird... That's why you're attracted to Bobby Lee. Probably. I always used, you know what? There's never been a time where I've ever considered

dating someone younger than me. Yeah. Try it out. Try it out. I've accidentally, like I've definitely had sex with guys younger than me, but never have I ever like even considered someone or having a life with someone younger. Same. My, um, my friend said to me, I was talking to him. I was like,

yeah, I'm dating this, this younger guy, but I'll probably, you know, it's not going to last. Cause if I want to have kids and get married, I got to go with an older guy.

And he goes, where are the old ones? Are you kidding? He goes, you're so dumb. He's like, put them to work. You got like a young one.

They'll do stuff for you they send emails just get them going i have this theory their kids i'm like that is a great i was like it changed my whole perspective i have this theory that men don't this is a generalization not always true but men don't really respect women their own age they can only really respect women older than them or younger than them? Thoughts? Prayers? I don't think that the guys that date young women respect them. I think it's they're going, oh, I'm going to get less.

I don't have to. So Dave doesn't respect me? Of course he doesn't. Who would? Yeah, you know, there is a sense of you ain't shit vibe that I get from Bobby. Really? Especially when he talks about pop culture. He just treats me like, oh, you young kids, you wouldn't know.

Yeah. That vibe. But you're right. There is an air of I'm better than you. And I always will be. Yeah, I dated a guy who was 12 years older than me. And every thing I said, he'd be like, you'll understand one day. I'm like, your life is bad.

If I'm attracted to you, you're not doing well. That's the worst. I dated a guy when I was 22 and he was 37. That guy, that narcissist we talked about. And he would always use my age against me. I couldn't have met a more infantile man in my life. But every time there was an argument, it was always like, yeah, you're reacting that way because of your age. I get it.

They're just so condescending. When I was in my 20s, I dated a guy who was like, oh, I just, he was, he'd always say like, like, I wish I knew you when, when you're 30. Cause you're going to be so much more mature. I feel like I should call him and be like, hey guy. Look at me now. Do you want to hear what happened to me? My car broke down for the first time in my life. I cried and called my dad.

Wait, no joke. This is, I can't believe, this is so weird. I was on a date once with a guy who was much older. That is so weird, right? That I met at the comedy store. Scary. It's not someone you know. That's the scariest one. I went on a date with an older man I met at the comedy store. It's Not, it's not someone you, you know, that's the scariest.

I went on a date with an older man. I met at the comedy store. It's the most terrifying line. I have about 15 more stories like that. And we were like trying to decide what movie to see. And just, I was, must've just turned 21.

Like I was so still in the daughter mindset, but I'm like, I don't know what movie we should see. Hold on. I'm going to call my dad. And I, on the date, I call my dad. I was like I was like dad like what's good and the guy that I was on the date with was just like that was weird and I like could not understand what he thought it was weird because you're fucked up I know because I wouldn't call my dad at any point hey do you mind wait can

you just take it out for one second I have to call dad. 21, were you still in your Abercrombie stage? Is she not in it? Look at her pants. No, because I saw a picture of you, and I think we had the exact same skirt. It was the one that's like two-layered, little ruffle. Yeah, no, that was when I was 16. I didn't wear skirts. After I got to college, the skirts didn't fit.

After the diapers showed up in your life. I remember every time you've worn a skirt. What? You've worn a skirt twice in front of me I remember every time one was for your special and one was a couple months before and I filmed your set because like this is the weirdest thing ever when you look like a girl I'm in such shock I'm like what is this woman who is this wait but Kalilah so your dad was very old when you were made what was that like when I was a maid was very old when you were a maid. What was that like when I was a maid? When you were a maid. When you were a maid.

That's why he had her. He needed more help cleaning around the house. Did you, how did that affect you? Like, were you like, oh my God, my dad's so old, he's going to die. Like, I was so embarrassed for him to come pick me up in school or do any of the PTA stuff. And I would lie and say, that's my grandpa I weirdly had a thing with my dad where you said PTA I was thinking of PDA when my dad was on my hand when I was so young I would be and we're in we're not in Los Angeles but I was like I don't want people to think I'm dating this old man I just had that thought in my head I used to

have a joke about that yeah because where people when I was with my dad in the Midwest, people thought he was my grandfather. But then in L.A., they thought he was my boyfriend. Which, like, that joke still stands. It does. It's so weird. Yeah, it's a strange thing. It's also even stranger to be a product of such a large age gap.

Because I never want to think of my parents in that way where you're like, large age gap because I never want to think of my parents in that way where you're like oh yeah he was just a really opportunistic old man that landed in the Philippines have we talked about this no so like this is a massive insecurity of mine so I when I look at older white men and young Filipinas in the Philippines you see that a lot right it's kind of like kind of like a, not a mail order bride, but they actually go over there. They don't get mailed here. They do 90 Day Fiance. They do it right. They get on TV.

Yeah. So I always, I cringe at all of those anytime I see that. But then I keep thinking that shit, like from afar, I am a product of that kind of love. And thankfully my, I really do believe my mom and dad genuinely loved each other. But still, it's like, no one's gonna know that they're, they're just gonna look at it from afar and be like, ooh, like 30 old white man with, you know, young Filipina. But could you use it as a way to stop your judgment towards those relationships of other people? Because who cares what other people think, right?

No, because there really is like a disproportionate amount of amount of really disgusting old men that just kind of like view um young filipinas as like their vacation or their like last desperate ditch at like being with a woman and they're preying on the fact that these women are so like financially like um like you know they're It's a third world country. So they're like, oh yeah. Her desperation to get out of there is my in. And so, yeah. It's complex.

And I think that there is something to be had for both of them. They're both being opportunistic. I just don't know if I like it. Were you close with your dad? It was hard to get close to someone born in 1924. His walker was in the way. With the tennis balls. No, he was such a cool guy. He was a linguist. He was so well-traveled. He was brilliant. He had an IQ that no one in my family could ever match. He was just a brilliant man, but because of that, he was just a little colder.

I'm sure he meant to be warm, but it's just too big of a generational gap. His skin was thinning, so he was just very chilly. He was like, I'm cold, please. I think you were thinking of me. Esther's elderly. Are you closer to your moms or dads?

I'm closer to my dad, but I'm definitely, I've been on a mom kick. Very close to both in very different ways. But I would say everyone calls me like mini Mo, because my dad's name is Maury. Everyone says I'm like exactly him in like a female version. So I like to think I have a little bit of my mom's looks, but then with my dad's scams. You must be very close with your mom, though. I don't have a choice. I only have one living parent at this point.

I feel similar, though. My parents are 15 years apart. My dad's 15 years older than my mom. And I, there's something like creepy about that. And my dad always talks about like, and I appreciate his honesty about it. He's like, you know, when you're a young guy, you always think you can do better. So he never wanted to get married and settle down. And so it's weird to like, think of my, how old were they though? When they got together, how old was your dad? Uh, he was probably they though when they got together? How old was your dad?

He was probably like 43 when they got together. And then my mom wanted to get married and he didn't want to. So they broke up. And then. Oh my God. And what did she do? No, she didn't do an ultimatum. Well, no, she did. And then it didn't work.

She said like, I want to get married. Let's break. They broke up. And then his, they didn't speak for like six months and his mom passed away. And my mom is like such a sweet. She's just very sweet to everyone. But Esther, though. Yes.

Correct. And so she called him and she was like, I'm really sorry. You know, my condolences. And my dad was just like, what are you doing? And she's like, what do you mean? He's like, come over. And then this famous story. I can't believe I'm telling us this.

Is this sex? And then this famous story, I can't believe I'm telling this, is that. Is this sex? That night, he was like, I want to be with you and get married. And she was like, I don't believe you. And he's like, I'll prove it to you. And you know what happened. Whoa. Anal?

No. No, baby Esther was made. Ew. Wow, that night? Yes. You're a funeral baby. I don't know if it was like, it Esther was made. Ew. Wow, that night? Yes. You're a funeral baby. I don't know if it was like, it was probably Shiva. Hey guys, say hi to Lenny.

That's my raven. What? Oh God, she's a witch. We know it. Yeah. Too good to be true. Those are my two ravens. They live right above us.

I feed them. I throw raw meat on top. Raw meat? You don't even feed them vegan? That's so rude. Well, they don't want vegan. That's not a choice I make for them. I throw raw meat on top. Raw meat? You don't even feed them vegan? That's so rude. Well, they don't want vegan. That's not a choice I make for them. Listen, Esther has some newly de-veganed food in her car back at our house. We'll have to go pick some up.

Please take it off my hand. Esther, wow. There was a big proclamation of love, and then it was insemination right after. Yeah, it was like a proof that they'll be together. So, yeah. And you have been so in wing that they have had to stay together. Neither of them can handle you on their own. You've bound them. So they got married at a courthouse while my mom was a few months pregnant with me.

By a blind judge. Blind judge? Yeah. Oh, I like that. I wonder if it counts. If they couldn't see it. A did they wait for him like he had a waiting list that's why it was a couple months the bloodbath babes are here to talk to you about blue chew blue chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis,

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Bluetooth.com promo code bathgirls. And to support your own penis. Yeah, and guys, we're not in college anymore. We don't need ramen noodles okay keep we noodles are stay in the dorm all right we want hard things wait okay speaking of parents annie this is something i've been i've been dying to ask you okay there's something that i've heard of it's called landmark and i've only heard of it because cafe gratitude this like very culty restaurant makes all their workers sign up for it and it's supposed to be this like scam thing

but you've told me that you've not only you've done it you your parents do it can you explain what it is and if it was 18 years my parents have been doing landmark 18 years they're still fully committed what is that what what's going on i I'm terrified of landmarks. Okay, one of you needs to tell me what it is. Okay, it's a seminar series. So you go for a weekend. You go for, I think it's Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and then you come back Monday or Tuesday. It's four days, I think. And it costs, back in the day, it cost, I think it cost like $800.

I mean, I'm not about to sign up. No, no, no. These are all important. These are. Should we? Just individually, different times. We can't all bunk there together, but we have to go at different times. It's not.

Kalilah, tell me what it is. Because this is what I know at least about the Hoffman Institute, which is sort of like it jumped off from landmark. It came from Est, which was in the 70s which has gotten a lot of trouble because they weren't letting people pee or go to the bathroom and stuff it's it's the idea that you basically break down somebody psychologically so that you rebuild them so it's basic it the end goal is to eliminate trauma 10 years worth of trauma in like a couple days right or in like a week i recommend ayahuasca is way more fun and so like

i hear that you do role-playing game like you're a pig like you do farm animal stuff but what i found most sketch is that when i look at the sites they never list the qualifications of any of the people working there in fact they don't even list the names and it is so much money so it's like i think they prey on people's like rich people's like desperation yeah 100 it is so much money so it's like I think they prey on people's like rich people's like desperation yeah 100% it's so there's no farm animal things unless that's a new thing that they started doing but they have a landmark forum leader and you're all in this room there's nothing on the walls there's all uniform chairs that aren't very comfortable they give you like a big pen and a form you know so everything's very neutral there's nothing else yeah and they just do a a bunch of stuff and

and you fight it and people fight it and then they call it you have a breakthrough it's like your popcorn moment or something's called something I did it when I was 19 so it's forever so it's is it like a culty scam thing I think it like it becomes, if it was just one weekend and they didn't pressure you to keep coming back and to bring more people, I would say yes. I would say that it's, or no, that it's just like a nice. A weekend. A weekend of like intense therapy like stuff with people that are not qualified. Yeah. But they aren't.

But your parents are still doing it. Right. with people that are not qualified. But they aren't. But your parents are still doing it. Right, because what they do is then you have this feeling of euphoria where they pretty much at the end they tell you that your life is empty and meaningless

and then that you have nothing. So then you choose everything. So it was to the point where I, okay, so at the end you're supposed to, whenever you have any relationship that you feel is not where you want it to be or you've had any falling outs with people, you're supposed to find your fault in that. And they give you a formula like, I was doing this and I would get this from it, but the cost was this. And now I want to create

the possibility of this. So you're now going into these conversations with people who may not really deserve to talk to you or may not be someone that you even need to speak to every and again and you're coming to them with a formula it is good to accept your responsibility and things but I was to the point where I was going to call my teacher who assaulted me oh my god and apologized him and and and there's no one to tell me not to do there's no like psychologist to be like don't do that so I was about to this it was three years after all that happened so I was about to call him and apologize to him for making a big deal out of things because life is just these are all just stories yeah do you know what I mean so that's where it was really

to me very dangerous and they do it for kids they do landmark forum for for young people that to me is really scary I don't think you should be putting like formulas in kids heads I think you want to let them develop do you feel like your parents are in some kind of a cult right now I used to be really upset about it and I the reason I left landmark was because well I started to feel like their words were in my head I didn't like having other like why would someone else's words be in my head you know and they go there's no right and wrong but if there's no right and wrong why did you tell me what I'm supposed to say to people and what is the point of like even even that invalidates all of your feeling of feeling wrong about something I think

you can write about situations but I think it can help people if they're at a specific place, you know, like it certainly doesn't go completely dark for everyone. Like there is no, to me, there's not like a clear science behind it. And like that always worries me. It just sounds to me very, um, um, I guess evangelical. Yeah. Like where there is a degree of brainwashing involved and there is a degree of like really, really breaking someone down to the point where it's like that then they become the only like salvation is landmark. And I find that to be really predatory. And I think, but the thing that gets bad is where they go, and you need to come back, and if you don't have money,

they go, why are you letting money stop you? That's bad. So that's not good. And then they go, all these people you've broken relationships with, bring them on Tuesday night, and then they give them an introduction. So it's like they're essentially

sucking all these people in. So then it's like you bring people and then they really pressure you to bring people. Have you enrolled people? Who have you enrolled? My mom would go to our neighbor's house. We were the worst neighbors. Okay. I love my family and we're fucking crazy. And we've been through a bunch of shit. But when I left and I look back and I go, Oh, we were the problem. Like by far, we were the trash people. Like we, we lived in a really nice suburb of Philadelphia and, and we were hell, we were trash. I mean, we were loud. We slammed the door. We screamed. We, we were, my parents let us throw parties. They just had like teenagers party. You know, it was just, it was wild. And then my neighbors wouldn't like us

because of that. And then my mom wouldn't like us because of that. And then my mom would go over and we would make it like they're wrong. You know, as a family, be like, they're so stuck up. They're not fun or whatever. But really, they're just raising young kids around. Like they don't want their kids looking at these like drunk teenagers and stuff like that. So my like we didn't walk our dog. We just let our dog out. What? People would bring the dog back and be like, we let her out. we didn't walk our dog we just let our dog out what people would bring the dog back and be like we let her out we don't walk her she's be running in the streets the neighbor's like your dog's eating our garden like who cares get over it which is funny because it has made me

completely unhinged and I think makes me funny but it is and I that's how I look at everything now I go I just try to look at where it's, I'm very happy with my current position. But anyway, so my mom would go to our neighbor's house and go, I really think it with my parents and they finally talked me into it and I did it with them and I felt that thing and then I was like I'm gonna call my teacher you know like all these kind of it was an unsafe area for me and then I went back to New Mexico to school and I started doing it in New Mexico I just see them as like Herbalife or doTERRA there's a lot of Herbalife people that go there multi-level marketing a lot of as like Herbalife or doTERRA. There's a lot of Herbalife people that go there. Multi-level marketing. A lot of people do Herbalife at Landmark.

And doTERRA, right? It's like that same exact formula. And they probably took that formula from Landmark because it was effective. And Landmark took it from other people. From Catholicism? And Gestaltian theories. But so my parents, I ended up having a falling out with my parents because I said to my mom, I was like, well, you need to choose between me and Landmark at this point.

And my mom chose Landmark. And I was like, damn, dude. So then I didn't talk to her for a couple months. And that was really, I would say that was like the worst time of my life, not talking to my family. then I didn't talk to her for a couple months and that was really I would say that was like the worst time of my life not talking to my family that's like um in Scientology when they call you an SB like a suppressive person you were technically yeah the suppressive person years my parents would and what really upset me after I left and then we decided to come back and I just you know actually one of the things in landmark they say is you just they go like chocolate

vanilla chews like you have to just choose like chocolate like you just choose either you have this or you don't I know what the fucking twist there's no strawberry are you kidding me but um so kind of just like you either like have your parents the way they are or you don't have your parents wow and I did you know like I do feel that way a lot with my parents where and I've I've I know a lot about my parents and I've grown a lot. So I do, I have a lot of compassion for them and the choices that they've made. And I just choose to like love them no matter what. Yeah.

Just continue my relationship with them. Cause I, I am obsessed with them and I love them. I respect that. And it was so bad when I wasn't talking to her. I would wake up crying every morning. It was so bad. People making me like sad,

even thinking about it was so bad. I really understand that. A lot of times people will say to me like, you're lucky you're so close with your parents and I always think like you know that's like something that I've really made happen yeah I that is I've made that happen totally like I work for it I accept things they accept it like it's not just like oh we're a perfect family yeah well we saw your special nobody thinks that they're like oh my god but do you it does any part of you at least feel, cause I remember you said that in quarantine, like your parents are doing

great. Cause there, I came to, this is the conclusion I came to after all of this because my brothers were getting upset too. We're like, why are they, they're spending all their money on this fucking, these programs. Like my parents work for them. Well, my dad doesn't, but my mom volunteers and works and then is still paying. So she's paying to work for them. They've convinced her. But I look at it. They're trying to become better people at all times. My dad is spending $2,000 on an ADD seminar that he's all excited about. He's 79 years old. He's like, I'm the oldest person by far in this. But he's still trying to get a hold of his age. Like, I do love that they're still always trying to be better and and work on themselves. And that's the conclusion I came to. And it's just there's no reason to fight it because they won't choose you. You just accept it. So it really was. It took a while. But my brothers, they don't get mad about it anymore. It's max never did it my older brother did it and we all are just kind of like all right how are you still doing this but they're happy they're busy during quarantine that's what i wanted to ask i mean like i've i've seen videos of you guys you and your dad and your mom and they just look like really chipper silly people and so i i think that ultimately it's like you kind of allow people their own path to happiness. If it doesn't work for you, hopefully you can just like accept it in a radical way.

Yeah, you can only scream at them that they dropped you have to get raped so many times before you realize they're chipper. They're never going to accept this. They're just going to continue being chipper. They meant what they did. When I talk to my mom about like, do you regret beating me? And the answer that I've yearned for years is like for her to get on her knees and beg for my forgiveness. But she was just like, them's were the time. Yeah, they can't. They can't. My mother. My mother.

When I was like, why did you me um allow me to sleep over at my teacher's house and my mom goes wait okay so okay sorry they did let me yeah there was a whole thing I was being groomed my parents were like this is so cool free grooming um oh my god your hair is getting cut no mom it's different it's different. They're giving me drugs. But when I was really dealing with all my trauma, I was saying to them, I was like, mom, just why? Like, if you think back knowing what you know now, would you let me, would you take me there?

And she's like, that's just how it was back then. Kids were sleeping over at their teacher's houses. And I'm like, what? I'm like, mom, you went to boarding school. school you bitch you went to boarding school the teachers lived on campus it's not the same but by the way years later she found out she goes oh the weirdest thing I just found out she went to a a all girls school in New York sleepover school what do you call boarding school in New York and she never she was what do you call it, boarding school in New York. And she never, she was like, yeah, there was this cool teacher that all the cool girls got to go hang out at his house. And I was always so jealous. Okay. And she was, I just never was invited. And I felt like such a loser. She was, I just found out they were all being molested by

him. So she had felt left out. So she lived through you. She was thought she was doing me the salad of letting me be one of these cool girls, which it did make me cool. I'll give you that. I'm pretty fucking cool. I ain't basic. That's so funny, you know. I got teacher jizzed out of basic. I never slept over at teacher's house.

Well, my stepdad is actually my history teacher. So that would be weird. But do you guys find it weird that my mom and stepdad dated after my father passed away? And my stepdad, Roger, he was my high school history teacher. But I had sex with my stepbrother. What? Is that weird? I thought you were just going to say, was it weird that your stepdad knew your dad?

Not that you've, oh my God, was it weird that your stepdad knew your dad? Not that you... Oh my God, this is pornographic now. Isn't it? I've always felt kind of cringe about it, but I thought looking back, I'm like, no, like we were friends first. It's like, this is like a bad, this is like the bad twist in the movie. Wait, you guys, this is just... Our parents are getting married?

It's just clueless. Yeah. When I watch Clueless and Paul Rudd, it makes me feel better. Yeah. So I don't... It's just clueless. When I watch Clueless and Paul Rudd, it makes me feel better. It's okay. But looking back now, because this is when they weren't that serious. They were dating, but they weren't living together. Oh, they already were dating? They were already dating.

That's got to happen. They weren't that serious. Is there still any vibes between you and your stepbrother? He killed himself. Oh, copy that. So, yeah? That's how bad it was i think that one of the reasons that i kind of just wanted to separate myself and or not be friends with him when they did start living together was because i felt really gross about it for a long time i think

that'd make that's normal where i'm like now you're actually supposed to be my brother but like you know we fucked like a lot of times it wasn't when they were living together you said they weren't living together yet but they were definitely dating guys was it like they would go to one house and you would go to the other house um no i would i mean they would be there like having dinner and i'd be like oh man you know we're just gonna hang out i like it i think it's rebellious i think it's like you know what also may i add that um in high school i wanted nothing to do with any boy that wasn't a virgin like i felt really safe because i had this weird thing about stds so it was like oh if i only have sex with um virgins not only will I be remembered in their brains forever, but I will absolutely

avoid STDs completely because I had a paranoia about it. I had the opposite. Wow. With STD chasing. I was like, have you fucked a hundred women? I'm ready. It's just funny because you always hear like the sick guys that like only want a pure virgin. And we've met one.

I'm a sick guy. that's that's me like he needed to be clean and pure for you and shy and weak and I just was so hypersexual that that I had a type and I now I looking back I'm like gosh like that seems um kind of creepy but it seems like a fear of vulnerability and a fear of like you would be in full control of that. They're not going to hurt you. And the STD-wise too. They're not going to hurt you physically. They're not going to hurt you emotionally. You'll have control.

Which could have a lot to do with your parents' age difference too. You're not wanting to be like have like a more powerful... Is that still your type? Um, virgins? Shy bobby does a shy character no it really does i told bobby that he would have been someone i would have absolutely had sex with why just because he was so he called himself super unfuckable very just not great with girls that i

would you would have been on my radar a hundred percent liked fat boys on BMX bikes. Me too. I liked fat boys too. Fat boys with no cars and BMX bikes, and they would lurk in my bushes. Well, listen, let's be real. It does feel good to be like, do a favor, like where they're like psyched. Charitable. Yeah, where they're like, fuck, yeah.

Exactly. But then they'd always, I would date the fat guys, and then they would be so mean to me, and I'm like, I am giving you a gift. And then after me, their girlfriends would always be like way hotter than they should have gotten because I upped their yeah like it's for life you give them something for life I know yeah you give them that confidence to know that they can that the the the world is their oyster and they can get any woman of their choosing so you are being charitable in that way i think that's god's work you're boosting

their confidence to say you can have anybody but then it boosts too high i mean it always backfired i'm like okay i'm making my mom cry piece of shit oh you guys i wanted to tell you since you talked about being um um fucked with with a teacher yeah um This is what I wanted to say. So I have never been, I've never had relations with a teacher, but one time. Because your mom was dating all of them. Right, thank God.

But quite possibly worse is I was, this was the third time that I was locked up and put in a 5150 hold. What? 5150 hold is if you are... Esther's dream. I know what it is, but you had it three times? It's on Esther's vision board.

Because I was a really, you know, I was, as Annie puts it, I was a refugee. You're fucking a refugee. I had come to the, you know, from the Philippines and America was really new to me. I had a dying father, obviously, because he was 97,000 years old. And I was new to this country, so I was a really depressed teenager.

I just couldn't find my bearings in America. And a lot of times I'd try to kill myself, and I would OD. But the third time that I OD'd... Were you trying to die-die, or were you trying to... I was trying to die-die. Oh, God. I was trying to die-die. Oh, God. I was trying to absolutely, like, be gone. I just could not cope.

Wouldn't it be so sad if she died? We'd be so poor. Let's have her funeral. Let's do her life funeral. Her life funeral. No, this is making me sad. But I wanted to tell you there's a twist to this.

Esther, you should be sad more often. Honestly, it's shocking you're not sad all the time. When I was at... The last time I was locked up, I was locked up in this place in Torrance for three weeks. And all the girls had a crush on one of he wasn't a therapist. He did run group therapy on occasion, but I think he was more like right below like a social worker. So he just worked in this facility with. Oh, I know where this

is going i'm getting so mad and all the girls i'm getting turned on all the girls thought he was so hot and i was just so in a spiraling down that i didn't pay attention but on the day that i finally got out of there he helped me pack my things and um before i left he slipped me his number. How old were you? I was 17. This is right before I left for college, and I could not help myself. I was so enamored by his Aeropostale shirt,

and immediately I called him, and we hooked up a lot of times. He had kids. He was single. He was a single dad. Was he a comedian? You always hook up a lot of times. A lot of times he had kids he was single he was a single dad but imagine that you always hook up a lot of times a lot of times i've never had customer always i've never had a boy have sex with me and never call i don't think i've had it either but i've definitely ended it yeah yeah yeah like i call them mini romances but i had a mini romance a very inappropriate one with this man and um i i never thought it was wrong at all like there wasn't a part of me that thought

oh yeah this is this shouldn't be allowed but you guys he was in a psych facility he worked in a psychiatric facility and he slipped me his number that's in los angeles you know what i mean so it's like these are the stories that we just don't know are happening every day that's such an abuse of power I always feel like because I went to a bad kid school that we were preyed upon because we were kids at risk so that we weren't trustworthy yeah no they always go like child molesters they don't go for like the rich kids they go for the broken down ones oh my god do you want to hear something that I I got a DM from a kid that is currently going to my high school and he said, I thought your high school.

No, it did not get shut down. Nothing happened. My parents were donating money to it until two years ago. And I was like, are you donating money to the school that molested me? I just can't believe that. They're just in denial. It's like they're never gonna accept it but but I so not only did I have my experience with my teacher I there's just so many have unfolded and my graduating class was 17

students it was a it's a very small school so like a few people didn't get fucked and I feel really that is like so embarrassing it was me yeah you would have been the one that slid by. But it is like, so another one of our teachers just got caught. He was the disciplinarian. And he was the one that I looked back at my school and I went, at least he believed in us enough to have rules and give us punishments. Which we never actually were punished, but he was just a little mean to us. And then it just came out that they found all this this kiddie porn on him and he had like from infants to seven-year-olds so we just weren't his type was the only reason oh my god but it was just so bad i mean if only he had set eyes on me you could have gotten your diddle but it so then i'm

like this fucking school and then people were because i talked about my experience on on marin's podcast. No, I've never heard it. Yeah, you'll tell it to us next week. Yeah, I just get. Or something like that. I just get a little, sometimes it gets me a little too, I get a little too in it. But you know what?

We have years to back off. The rest of our lives. Yeah, totally. Say it. So everyone had heard it. So, you know, there's a group of people that know about this. But so people always tag me when there's a new molester so on Facebook it was like oh my god another one of the fucking teachers and then some of the kids were like oh my god I didn't know they and was like oh honey

pizza we did call you pizza face for a reason like like all of us got diddle even my friend I have a friend who I don't want to tell his story I'm sure he'd be okay with it but he wrote a book about how great the school was. And then we became friends years later. We were enemies in high school. We became friends years later. And he heard my story. I didn't even like notice that was happening.

He goes, I really wish I'd known that before I wrote this book. And then he, his mom told him that one of his his mentor teachers had been writing him love letters. Oh, my God. And the reason he left our school is because they confronted him. And he admitted that he was in love with my friend. And he fled to another school. They never arrested him. It was all about hush-hush.

So anyway, I got this DM from this kid the other day. And he was like, I'm a current student at the school and I've heard on podcasts what happened no one at the school knows any of this there's no public record I don't know why there's no record of this my parents probably signed a deal that was like sure we'll keep it a secret as long as you traumatize our daughter a little bit more just make sure you fuck her up for a couple more months and we'll but so so he was like I don't know what to do with this information he sent me his school id so I know he's like I feel like everyone should know he was like i don't know what to do with this information he sent me a school id so i know he's like i feel like everyone should know he's like i've always felt like there was something

really shady going on it feels racist like all this stuff and i i just don't even know what to say i don't i don't feel comfortable talking to a kid by the way anyone under 18 i'm not speaking dm me dm esther esther you don't have skokie didn't have diddlers? I know nothing of that. Unless they hit on her now. No, I did not have that. I mean, yeah, I don't really have. My trauma doesn't feel so real when I talk to other comedians. Oh, my God.

When I OK, I went on a date with this guy who's a comedian and we were sharing our trauma stories. We're in his hot tub and I just got done. I was yeah and they dropped me off to get raped and um they're still donating to the school but it's fine you know whatever it'll be okay like I love them vanilla chocolate chews and he's like oh yeah when I was little my mom I won um class clown and I was so embarrassed by that and my mom um was so proud that I was a class clown that she put like a clown in my room. He's like, can you believe she did that? I was like, in every hole, in every hole.

I was looking at him like, oh my. And he literally lives a way more fucked up, unhappy. That man doesn't sleep. Sometimes I do worry about that in therapy because I have a specific, I have a therapist who handles specifically a certain type of trauma. And sometimes I wonder if she just looks at me and says, you are not that important. Like you're, you absolutely, like you should see my other patients. It's all relative though. And I think it's healthy

to have that feeling though yourself because we should be kind of. But I heard that like, there is such a thing as like toxic positivity when you tell other people like, oh, you know, it could be worse. Look at that person. I just don't think that that's the correct way.

You have three meals. Exactly. Or like when I, last year when I had my serious depression funk. I'm like, you have several meals a day. I had a friend that was like, just get outside, exercise, get in the sunlight. Exercise is the funniest advice. I'm not a plant.

I don't need that. But I am physically a plant and not able to exercise. You know that, right? Yeah. And that's another thing, too. Like anytime they put like tips for anxiety or panic attacks, like they don't consider the fact that like even for me i was talking to my therapist yesterday i was like look i know that we are learning all of

these coping mechanisms and while i employ them sometimes and they work there are times when i'm so panicked that i'm frozen and if i feel like i feel like if i get out of this position like doom will happen you know so it's like i can't even get up and walk across the room, much less fucking exercise. No. Like, so I hate that. Like, I just don't like this, you know, on Instagram where they just put bullet points and I'm like, there's so much missing context there. It's not that simple.

This is why I want to talk more about, because I ended up starting Lexapro, an antidepressant for anxiety, and I couldn't be better on it. And that's why the people that say, like, just take a deep breath. I'm like, no, there's something wrong with my brain. And I take medicine now. Not just your brain. Don't forget the crotch rot. You have crotch rot.

Do we want to take a banana break? Yes, let's take a banana break. I'm traumatized. I just deep-throated. I'm like, I was molested. Imagine if Annie told. I actually am not going to. She hates bananas. I don't like bananas.

She hates them. Look, you're traumatizing her. Oh, my God. She hates that you've made her whole. I know. She sounds sad. This made her hold it. I know. She sounds sad. This is her molested. I really don't.

Do you know that? It actually was a lot like that for me. Being molested. Just hold it. I don't want to. When I was little, my grandma gave me a doll for Christmas, and I was so anti-girly stuff and hated the doll so much that I made, I threw a big fit, and I was so anti-grilly stuff and hated the doll so much that I made, I threw a big fit and I

said when we drive home, the doll has to be in the trunk. And they put you in there instead? I think that's why my grandma I feel like that moment was when my grandma was like, I'm done with this bitch. You can't make me laugh. She died. She's like, I'm dying. You can't make me laugh when I'm eating a banana because all the mush.

We picked the most phallic snack. Also, I really, the way you, any one normal person, that's a correct way to eat a banana. I just want to say that first, but I can't understand how people eat bananas. How do they eat them? I cannot have saliva touching my next bite. Oh, okay. So what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to cut like that, like so. And then you're supposed to, huh?

Who's rules are these? And then section them off. Now you're touching it. No, no, no. You're sectioning them off. So there's no saliva on either end. This is crazy. There's a way.

But who, did you come up with this? I think I don't like dried saliva on food, even if it's my own. I have lipstick on all my shit. So just so the listeners know, we decided we're going to do banana breaks. So when things get too intense and crazy, we're just going to have some. They just left me hanging earlier.

You could have called a banana break. We're just going to chill, maybe be quiet. Maybe Annie will shut the fuck up for a minute and eat a banana. I actually don't like bananas. Why? Because other people do. Because it would be easy if she a banana. I actually don't like bananas. Why? Because other people do. Because it would be easy if she liked them.

I don't know. I just don't really like them. So I guess... Her grandmother gave her a banana and a doll. Producer George is going to have to figure out the special treat for Esther for next time. Oh my god. It's going to be the most annoying treat. Give her the messiest food. Like a really powdered mochi. So we're just going to chill in the banana break zone.

How's everybody feeling? But I honestly, I couldn't agree with this banana break more. I love it. I am a potassium freak. I get heart palpitations and anxiety. So when I have a potassium refill, I'm a whole new woman. Wow. I wish you could know this joy, Esther.

Maybe I'll find, maybe I'll research what else has potassium. A potassium supplement. But you know they're the worst because they're this big. But Carlos is out of town. How are you going to get him to do that for you? I love that. Last week's conversation about shit pile. I really

thought about that for a long time. I bring it up every day. I'm like, you know what I realize? I'm so glad you bring that up. Everyone that is in my life is in my shit pile. She's either trying to. No, there's only the shit pile. She's either like being obsessed with you because she's trying to shit pile you or you're shit piled.

You're all. But my parents are my shit pile. My fiance is my shit pile. Everybody's my shit. That's me. I'm in my shit pile. I'm crawling out of that shit pile, dude. No, you're not. You get no access to me

and you're done. You'll be begging for me again. I want all my loved ones covered in shit. What, you want to give us a ride in that car? Wait, Esther. I'm so proud of you, number one, for... I hate the way eating banana sounds on a mic though so I'm just going to put that out there

I'm really proud of you for hanging on to that car for a long time my first car in America that I owned at 24 was a Camry as well but I traded it in for an expedition because I was living in Long Beach at that time and I thought I was more I wanted to be more hood,

and I was like, Camry's not going to cut it. But eventually got impounded. But I don't own a car, you know? Nothing more hood than that. Nothing more hood than getting your car impounded. That's good. Got you. You got to rack the tickets up so high

that it's not worth it to get your car back from the pound. When I first moved to LA and I was living in my rent-a-rack, which Esther knows, I was driving around in a fucking dented neon. Do you remember the silver neon? I'll never forget the smell. It had the new car smell. But it was a fake new car smell. You could tell someone had just been chain-smoking in it.

And by the way, rent-a-rack is such a fucking racket. It's so expensive. What is it? It's like long-term rentals for cars, but they just give you like a shitty dented car. But I remember doing the math and being like, this costs the same as if I rented a brand new car. It's just the only benefit was that I could crash it and nobody would know. Do they still do rent-a-wreck? I don't know.

Ever since I stopped living in my car they couldn't but i remember i was living in the car like sleeping in the car i would sleep at my friend's house when i could and then if i couldn't whatever and then um i got so many tickets that i it was equaled rent it equaled rent i was like i should have just gotten a fucking apartment i should have just lived with esther andy chupo that's like bobby um renting a car from enterprise for like a year and a half and he racked up like 29 000 i can't it's my favorite story like i know here's here's where bobby is actually not at fault i knew these things about him before i dated him, before I made it official.

And yet I jumped in fucking, you know, heart first. And now I'm complaining. Do you know what I mean? It's not fair to him. I knew what kind of human being he was. I should have just, you know. I always look at it like we're just tumbling through. Some of us just tumble through life like sometimes

i just come to and i'm like what the fuck have i been doing like i just i'm not even paying attention you know what i will say annie the reason that you and i have just been such kindred spirits like i feel so deeply connected to you so fast is the same reason that I am so in love with Bobby I just are you getting horny Esther I just love I have a type I have a type and that is like you guys are freaks cut from a similar cloth where it's like even Esther if you're you are very different from each other but there is this like like there is you still fall under a certain type that makes a lot of sense to me. And I feel like is more trustworthy. Like I can just say whatever I want to say without judgment.

And I can just get there fast with you. I can tell you about my life and you're not going to be like, oh, like there's no rules. So we're not going to impose them on you. Well, Esther might have a few. It's very informal. Like we're an informal bunch. Once you get in the ship, I... There's no manners.

Raised by wolves. Yeah. Just really, yeah, wild. But also, comedy, why are we going to... Why would we do this? What's the time situation? Why did you want to know? Because I'm cold.

Oh, I'm driving you home, bitch. You go home when I say. You're I'm driving you home, bitch. You go home when I say. You're in my shit pile today, bitch. She's going to break quarantine and get an Uber. With heated seats, yeah. Can I take a bath? There's enough old clothes in my bag. Do you want me to ask Juliana to run you a hot bath?

Yes. The pool is really warm. Why don't you jump in? It's really warm. Ooh, cozy. Can I be open about what my insecurities are right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel,

and this happens to me every time I get serious, I feel like I'm not being funny. I'm not doing my job. No. Annie, I'm telling you, even me never hearing some of your stuff before, I feel like I'm not being funny I'm not doing my job no no I on any I'm telling you like I even me never hearing some of your stuff before like I feel absolutely honored and interested and riveted and sad and all of the gamut of of emotions um when I listen to your stories and I think they're really important it's so important it's I don't think you should feel we were joking throughout it too yeah yeah and usually when I listen back I go okay

there were enough jokes. Because you've lived it. You've talked about it and you've relived it over and over again so it doesn't feel exciting for you to talk about. Obviously who the fuck is excited about talking about drama? I'm just like people are like on their treadmills listening to my rape

all the time. I'm like oh my god like how many fucking like I could go fucking five miles listening to this bitch talking about a fucking rape it's just like it's gross it's gross and then there's i you know i i do read the comments and then i get the people that are like oh my god we have to do this fucking sad story i'm like i don't want to tell it anymore i wish i didn't know this story i just want to know about landmark i don't know but it does it always leads into that. My mom wrote a book about me. I mean, there's like a lot of, there's a lot of stuff. There's juice to be on.

That's what I wanted to ask you guys. Do you think that someone can be truly inherently funny without any type of trauma or painful existence? I don't, I hate being that person that's like you're only funny if this

and that like i don't like having hard and fast rules about that i would say that if someone never drank there's a trauma something traumatic happened for that did you have an alcoholic parent though i've never drank you know know that. Yeah. But you're, are you saying you're not a traumatized, weird, fucked up person? Are you as, you're as clean as D'Elia pre finding out he wasn't clean?

No, I, I, my parents never drank. And so it just wasn't like a part of the culture in my house. And my grandma's an alcoholic. Yeah. She still is. But that I'm saying it stems from like a there's

usually like a you can trace it back to a thing but also i i think i i don't i would just i just have had such a crazy life that i can't imagine not being had trauma and i don't know that maybe not having trauma especially in this world where everyone's like my trauma my trauma every podcast you go on go on is like, tell me the worst thing that's ever happened to you. I'm like, Jesus, nice to meet you. But OK. I don't know. What do you think, Kyla? Um, I Bobby always talks about this theory as to why he thinks like Koreans and Filipinos are inherently more what he considers funnier than let's say like chinese or like oh my god i love japanese people yeah the the inter-asian you know comparisons and he says it's basically it's a historical um it's a historical thing where it's like you know if you've been colonized and if

you've been raped and pillaged as a culture you cannot like comedy is it's survival like that's why i find like the filipino spirit to be so um like it i have never seen anything like it like their homes could be ravaged roofs off from like a typhoon and the next day they're happily like swimming in flood water and the kids are playing and everyone is just like it's okay it's mother nature we'll rebuild like there's so much joy there and for a third world country there's more joy there than there isn't in america like everyone when i first came here the one thing i said was there are so many rules and everybody is sad and angry like that was my observation as a teenager and i missed the joy of back home yeah even with so that's bobby's theory is that funny does come it has to come from a pain whether you're

conscious about it or you're not well i think it's a defense mechanism also just similar like jewish people are tend to be funny and yes you, we had our little thing. And, you know, Hitler really, he had a good point. I mean, he was like, they're getting a little sluggish on their punchlines. They're slowing down. We're going to need to really bring them up. It was like going to UCB for five. Level five UCB. I don't have the energy to fight that right now.

Guys, I'm so fucking cold. I'm so fucking cold that this podcast is over. You should be grateful you're cold. Your people were very hot. Andrew! Andrew Letterman! I need a fucking blanket. Someone needs to get me a blanket.

I'm going to freeze. I got to get out of here. This is my favorite part of the episode. If anyone's wondering, this is the clip. Just Esther screaming, do the WAP dance now. Esther, generate heat. She can't help it. She can't not do the WAP.

Crush the headphones. Make it worth it. We could wrap. It's been a pleasure, as always. Thank you, Annie, for your landmark stories. Yeah, I feel like we gave people a lot of Spank bank today

Kalilah had sex with her brother Yeah that actually is Annie had sex with her teacher Remind me to tell you my other Sex with my other brother story Oh my god Listen I have a twin And I've resisted all this time

He's hot he looks just like me. You guys, thank you so much for listening to Bloodbath. We're three fat old whores. And if you want more of this, like this video and subscribe. Ew, listen to her sex voice. This is the voice of someone who didn't get molested. She's just trying. She's trying to make up for old time.

For lost time. That's been our show. See you next week. Ew. Is everyone comfortable with Esther being the take the reins person? It's disgusting. She can't even do it seriously. She has to gyrate while she's doing it.

Business Esther is just like in a set. No, you're like a sex worker when you do it. Every time you do it, you're like, I think that was good.