Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Cucks, Elves & Santa Roleplay w/ Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher (Guys We Fcked)

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors:  Bright Cellars - Get 50% OFF your first 6-bottle box at https://bit.ly/BrightCellarsTrashTuesday for $55 plus taxes. Bright Cellars is the monthly wine club that matches you with wine that you’ll love. Get started by taking the taste palate quiz to see your personalized matches.  BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday Manscaped - Get 20% off + free shipping at http://www.manscaped.com with the code TRASH  Native - Go to https://nativedeo.com/tuesday or use promo code tuesday at checkout, and get twenty percent off your first order Tickets to Trash Tuesday Livestream! https://www.momenthouse.com/trashtuesday   More Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher:  Guys We Fcked Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/guys-we-f-d/id885960517  Our Special Day Comedy Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXcI4ZNzwxk  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/guyswefcked  Krystyna Hutchinson IG: https://www.instagram.com/krystynahutch  Corinne Fisher IG: https://www.instagram.com/philanthropygal Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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especially real slugs yeah slugs missing limbs slugs with um hemorrhoids. We're finally doing the real deal live stream show and it's there's concerns. There's legal concerns. There's emotional concerns. Try to sue me, Hester. You guys, Wednesday, March 30th at 6 p.m. Pacific time. We are streaming live from this room and it's going to be chaotic and we want you to get tickets at momenthouse.com slash trash tuesday this is a once in a lifetime opportunity who the f knows what is going to happen annie has threatened to bring a cardboard cutout of a certain type of vehicle we don't know oh god get your tickets at momenthouse.com slash trash tuesday because once this is gone it's gone you guys that's wednesday march 30th 6 p.m see you guys there we're scared hey guys it's esther i'll

be in helium comedy club in philadelphia april 1st through 2nd april 6th american comedy club san diego 15th through 16th of April, Cap City Comedy in Austin. Then I'll be in Brooklyn, D.C., my hometown of Chicago, Minneapolis, and Indianapolis. Many more coming soon. Estronice.com. Hey, slugs.

I'm having the greatest time on the road. I'm not just saying that. Come. I'm signing scrotums. I've now learned to have them hold them, hold them taught batwing it and you can actually see the full signature and I've never felt more powerful. I'm signing breasts. I'm we're having a wonderful time on the road. The meet and greets are my dream come true. I can't wait to see you guys in San Francisco, April 15th and 16th, Syracuse, New York, the end of April, San Jose, California.

In the beginning of May, I'll be in back in Florida and Donya Beach, May 12th through 14th. I'm going to be in Burbank, Austin, Texas. I'm going to be in a million other places. Please go to andyletterman.com slash shows. Come see me. It's a a whole vibe you can't miss it you guys if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast let me explain it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer. And they will distribute your podcast for you.

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all in one place. Just download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. I want to know this. Your dad had baseball cards and now you've taken over. Oh, no. He ran a baseball card store since 1989. Yeah.

Like old school brick and mortar. Yeah, and she like took it and moved it, packed it up and moved it to Larchmont, New York. I spent months cleaning a hoarding situation by myself. Wow, he's dying, right? 31 plus years of hoarding. I also had to learn a new business i'm not like i'm not like a sports girl sometimes sometimes a customer will come in and ask me for a card and i will like whisper quietly um what sport do they play remember we had a show i did called anything

but sports yes and this is a podcast called. I have a question in the process of you like doing this with a shop. Like, did you get to know your dad a little bit better? Yes, exactly. That was the comforting part because my dad wrote a lot of stuff like he would just like sit in the store. And I guess like if a business was so he would like write a poem or like write a spoof of a song. He made up like game shows making fun of his friends because my dad legit

funniest person i've ever met and like you know being a professional comedian that says a lot but he's the reason that i'm even funny at all he would tell stories about his customers at the dinner table growing up that were so funny that i would have to excuse myself from the table because i would i was gonna choke and like i don't know if you ever laughed a laugh that you physically you have to like roll like get on the ground and roll it out of your body because you think the laugh is going to kill you that is the type of laugh like no one's made me laugh like that ever except for my dad and he the baseball card business specifically uh had a lot of crazy characters in it. Through our mutual friend who works at the shop,

he's told me so much about how, like, these people will come out of the woodwork who are looking for your dad. Yeah. And you guys don't know what to do. Like, who are, like, I have this, maybe, like, and maybe they have, like, a side deal with your dad and they want that side discount still.

And you guys have to be, like, slow down like slow down buddy yeah there's a very old man who uh who i refer to as father time just long beard comes in with like a cane made of a tree trunk and gentle soul but you know the business was very different even a couple of years ago so my dad was doing things like completing sets of cards uh but there's not a lot of money in that like you dad was doing things like completing sets of cards. But there's not a lot of money in that. Like you really want to like move full boxes of product now. And you know, people, you know, sell raw cards of like very valuable players. But you know, there's also like a fun sense and like completing a set of cards. I'm trying to like put it in words that everyone will understand if they don't understand the card business. If someone was tagged or caught for steroid use, does the value of their card

go down over time? That's like a Barry Bonds, say for instance. Right. That, you know what, honestly, I don't know the official answer to that because sometimes doing something quote unquote bad can actually make the value go up um there are definitely questions about people who have done like sexually offensive things that tends to make the value of the card go down which is like yeah that's positive it is progress yeah wow but like for pokemon i know the answer a little bit more as it relates to pokemon cards because we also sell those and so like pokemon has a lot of um cards that aren't printed anymore because there are things that were considered like racist in america and those

actually went up in value because they stopped printing them so they're very rare but like you have to hide them you know because it's like well you know we have them but it's like i don't condone that america always buys the thing that expires because it's racist yes we had that in college i went to university of illinois in champaign and the one of the years i was there was the last year that they were allowed to do the chief logo and everyone was buying them up like crazy i'm like for why this is so weird you put it on your wall and go that's can't sell anymore because it's racist but i have it yeah yeah it was actually like 12 year old boys who informed me to this i learned so much from the neighborhood boys about pokemon which was really nice of them to share their

knowledge with me yeah on opening day i went to her store and i was following all the kids around i'm like how's your dad single what's that like there's a lot of hot dads in that town there are hot dads i feel like divorced dads are my demographic shout out large mott new york whoa that's such a good way to maybe find like a hot older guy yeah oh yeah it's like a like and also it's unheard of for like a woman to be a baseball card store owner so i'm aware of them comedians you could tell people just sometimes come in like there's this i hope he doesn't watch this is this one customer who roams around drunk um but like lightly drunk he doesn't he's have fun yeah no it's like it's not the kind of guy you would feel sad for it's just like you know he made himself drunk and he's fine with it and he knows um and he'll come in and you could tell he'll just like buy like a

cup but it's he's obviously just there to talk to me because you just who just needs to come in to get no he's married oh come in to buy a single cup from a baseball card store like that's weird boo i i i think it's okay that you're saying this because i feel like i'm that guy who will buy the cup just to talk to someone like i love i love lingering and loitering in a store if they're if skims opens brick and mortar stores, I will be roaming the Skims store. I will be roaming. Instead of drunk, I'll be high on edibles.

Oh my God. And I'll just be touching everything. They'll have to refold it. They'll hate me there. Do you know what? Yes. Yes. I've worked retail for years.

Oh. What, the piles? I would side eye the fuck out of you i would look at those dirty little fingers like you know what size you are you don't need to see the whole i try to be so careful in a retail store i worked retail but i worked shoes so there was no fold which retail did you work at i worked at abercrombie okay that was a pretty organized one i worked at forever 21 oh my god trying they're all gonna get fucked up anyway yeah just throw everything in a box let people know i will say my mom like i she always made me hang everything up after i tried it on

like she was very strict oh i'm that person that if you're rude and i see that you're not refolding things and you ask me for a size i will go back there take a bite out of my burger look around for about two minutes come back back and say, sorry, we don't have it. Oh, that's like, I'm that bitch. Kalilah. Satisfaction. Yeah. Because it's like, you're being rude. I have to now refold an entire stack of polos. Right. That's not that easy. Long sleeved ones where there's an extra fold. Did you have the square that was like the, like the, you know what I mean? Like the cutout shape for the fold? For the men's shirts, but I'm a master air folder. So I, the flick of the wrist, I got this down. Is that an official title or did you give that to yourself? No, the girl that

could air fold, you just watched. I'm like, how do you do that? You don't even need them. I want to show you guys a picture of my t-shirt stack at home. It's pretty impressive. The sides are all lined up. it's the only thing my mom's proud of the only thing the way you fold your shirts she has ocd and it's ocd in symmetry okay so it's the one symmetrical face i that's actually thank you but that's not true i have the most asymmetrical face oh my god okay corinne also has a very no you have a symmetrical am i am i seeing weird no one eye yeah uh Van Damme you know like Jean-Claude Van Damme yeah yeah my dad always used to say I had

his one eye was smaller than me oh thanks dad yeah but I was like oh keeping me humble literally doesn't matter you're dropped and gorgeous yeah yeah yeah you're hot is that a tattoo idea Jean-Claude Van Damm on you jean-claude van diem yes that one oh you're welcome but right under my wonky eye yeah i cannot tell it's not wonky i have a wonky eye in photos where it's the one i'll be like this like all the time is it bad that my dad used to call me andrew cunanan the guy who killed... He's half Filipino. Yes. Isn't it Andrew Cunanan? Cunanan.

Cunanan. Oh, really? Wait. Oh, I love that. I said it wrong. Okay, good. Thank you. But it's, you know, whatever. We're not trying to correct the name of a murderer.

Your dad called you a murderer? What a reference, Esther. Because he was like a gay, mad lover. He was hot, you know. He wouldn't be a gay murderer. Because I was caught downloading naked pictures of women and so they called

they made fun of me called me Andrew Cunanan anyway I like how on every episode of this something about your lesbianism comes I also like your

parents bullied you and you're like aww Esther Darren Chris played him really yeah oh he's so hot

so this is a good thing so he's half Filipino and Darren Chris's mom is from my island are you serious he's so hot so this is a good thing so he's half Filipino and Darren Chris's mom is from my island are you serious yeah yes you guys started without me just kidding oh my goodness look at this hi hi oh oh okay my neck my neck weakness wait do you have a neck injury today i never know what day we have it as they're talking about how she her dad called her andrew um what is andrew the guy who killed um um johnny yeah versace the what does he look can we pull up

a pic no it's not based on looks that I was called him. It's because she was downloading a picture of boots. Of naked women. It's a gay thing again. Yeah. She's a gay male murderer. Esther's a gay male murderer. A gay?

I need to know more about this because I side with your dad always. Well, we were talking about things our dad called us, which I feel like you probably have some good ones. Oh, selfish cunt. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, but it made me so funny. My makeup was done while driving the Tesla.

That's pretty good. I mean. Wait, the Tesla? Did the Tesla do your makeup? The Tesla, yeah. Wow, I gotta get a Tesla. What can Elon Musk do? Grimes changed him.

I was in La Jolla opening for Doug Benson. I mean, Doug. Oh, my God. Doug Stanhope. I was in La Jolla opening for Doug Benson. I mean, Doug. Oh, my God. Doug Stanhope. I did that several times. But he kept calling me Lederman because we just this was like our first time meeting officially. We've been like.

Really? Yeah. We've been like talked on the phone friends and stuff like that for a while. But so it was the first time we were actually hanging out. And then it ended up being I had my first Tesla trauma. What? Oh, I read about this on twitter yes he's live tweeting it doug was live tweeting it yeah he was live experience well you have to like you know

charge them and i oh no it's a problem i had to find a charger and i in the charger no no you're gonna love it it's actually so good you have to you know charge them no no no but you know wait until you're gonna love this so much because there's there's a blame situation. I love blaming. OK, so I know. So it's not your fault. You get 15 seconds of blame and then you have to be like, oh, I'm a grown up. Nobody does anything on purpose.

OK, so we I go to Doug. I go. He was going to take the train. And today we're also going to Doug, I go, he was going to take the train in today. We're also going to be at the regular comedy store. The regular one. I know, I feel rude saying it, but come on. It's the regular one.

Yeah, the good one. The one people talk about. Even though La Jolla is fun. And they're so, they're such a fun, rich, white. It's like Irvine kind of, right? Yeah, they're just, they're fun. I remember when we did the Irvine improv, we're like, oh, you voted for hip. We did it the day Trump got elected

and Christina was like, and then everyone was like, I was like, you guys, this sucks, right? And they're like, no, we're awesome. I did, I did the, I know it's so weird. It was such a different experiences, but I did the, I did the La Jolla Comedy Store the night that Kyle Rittenhouse got off.

And I went, guys, congratulations. I go, you say Ritten, you say written you say so anyway so i go to i go oh also i want to talk to you about a little because it's like a christmas town which is like so we should bring you there and see what they do they put her to work i love wait why is it it a Christmas town? It's just they're obsessed with Christmas. Dr. Seuss is from there. And that's why he wrote The Grinch. That's cool. Wow.

I did say those trees on our Airbnb block were very Dr. Seuss-like. Seuss-ical, yeah. Really fun. Yeah. I like your guys' rental, by the way. Thank you. Good choice. Christina's a car girl.

Yeah. Wait, so what happened with the Tesla? Okay, so I go to Doug. I go, you can ride on the train tomorrow or you can ride with me tonight. And he goes, I let him smoke in the Tesla and everything. I was like, you can smoke in the Tesla. Wow, that's the only Tesla in LA you can smoke in. Yeah, you can smoke in.

It's usually Elon shuts the car off. But so I had to charge it. And the charger that they sent me to was not an actual Tesla supercharger. So I go to this hotel. I have to go in. This guy shows me. He was a fan this hotel, I have to go in, this guy shows me, he was a fan. Hello, Daniel from Hyatt. I go, I dug stand open the car, he goes, no way. So then we go to this charger, and it needs an adapter that my car has. So I go to just

casually get the adapter, it's not going to be a problem. Todd seems to have thought the adapter should be just like outside the car for some reason not in the car while i'm on a the first road trip in it so todd had attached it to the charger at home and never put it back in so i called todd and i go todd i'm fucking pissed right and doug's going yeah todd you know like teasing me for being mad at him and todd goes so todd's he's i can see his brain working to see how it's not his fault. I mean, not one moment of accepting the responsibility. He goes, no, well, I thought we would leave it on the charger at home.

So we'd have to worry about losing it in the car that it would never leave. That would be a weird thing. And then he goes, but don't you remember you were in a rush? So you said, hurry up. Don't wind it all the way back up. So I did tell him to not completely put the charger away. Well, he had evidence. Yes, he did.

It took him a second, though. It wasn't his first idea. That's why I know it is his fault because. Second one's a charm. Yeah, he was searching for why it wasn't. And but it was good. So and then we just found another one and it was fine. But it did take it took a while to find it.

How long did it take to charge that car? It takes like 20 minutes or if you have a regular if you have to do one of the regular charges like 14 hours. I was like, yeah, Todd, I'm going to fucking kill you if I miss my podcast. It was like 12pm last night. Yeah, no, it is scary because I was in a car with a Tesla when we had to find a charger too. And like it's New York.

So there was even less charging stations. And of course it was like an ex-boyfriend who was like in town. And she was like, wanted to pick me up. And I was like, just the whole time as we were racing to find a charger, I'm going, this is why we broke up. This is why we broke up. Did he rent it or was it his car? It was, he borrowed a friend's.

Yeah, but it was not his because he lives here. But yeah. How many times are we allowed to go back i said the specific one or two and ex-boyfriend in general yeah just just in general just going back is never not in like not in a relationship way but just in a in a sexual way how many times oh that's unlimited the limit does not exist yeah yeah yeah the fucking oh really it's an unlimited you have to gauge your own do you let emotion spill over do you not yeah it depends if you can compartment i'm good at compartmentalize that's great because then you're already comfortable

with their body you don't you know their body but you know you're not gonna know no no no no you guys because i've got there are surprises because your memory lies to you. Oh, like if you think it's better. You think it's better. And then like, oh God. And I remember my, I had this one ex-boyfriend who was, he was so handsome. Thank you. I sure just left him.

Oh my God, we're still dating. But he, yeah, I had remembered him as being just so hot and he had two he had lesbian mom so it was like double the mommy issues i forgot and my friend anya goes and he cries you forgot he cries i was like oh no i was already on my road trip to irvine to go bang him and i forgot he was so like and i got there and you couldn cried I love a crier before it's a Christina and he couldn't get hard it was like he was so nervous I love that you were

you were already on the road trip and you couldn't possibly turn around no no no when you listen Esther

I'm a good girl I follow through with my promises once you pull out of the driveway this was one of the experiences where I was learning how to

go you can turn around but i still was giving it hope i still was giving it hope i'm like maybe he'll cry it'll be hot now who knows i'm older yeah and he just was so nervous he couldn't get it up i was just like oh i should have kept you hot in my head it's true don't burst a fantasy bubble is what i say oh yeah where it's like um yeah that's sort of my rule if it even if it's like a one night stand that just happened to go very well just keep it that way yeah let it live in your memory let it die like when a show ends and you're like wait we weren't done with the seasons and like yeah but let's go out on a

good and then you remember let's not milk it until everyone hates it right because if you get to know them past that one night it could really just go awry yeah so just keep those little moments wait i have heard sorry i have heard from a guy that it and this could be wrong but i have really like believed in this theory for a long time that when you fuck a guy one time it actually will drive them crazy because they'll wonder why they never got a second chance and they'll be like was i bad maybe i was bad and so like does that happen when guys don't fuck you? I am the friend.

Please come back for seconds. Jacob telling us the story, but Jacob is a dog alter ego of mine. Oh, of course. Esther has no alter ego. That's female. Let's just say that.

What do you think is that? I, you know what? As much as I want to admit that I've had a lot of one night stands i know that that's what my face reads i just have not had a lot of them it's not a lot of like three week you know three week little mini romances yeah that's nice but i've done it wrong my my week with maryland's i like yes those ones but i wanted to ask you about male men who cry why is that your thing? It's just they're in touch with their emotions.

I just like, I like a guy that's not afraid of that. And it's just like, yeah, I'll go there and I'll go deep inside myself. Because I feel like in a straight relationship- But not while he's deep inside you. No, not while we're fucking if you're crying. That's weird. Because I have post-coital blues

and it's something that I've struggled- Do you crygasms? I do. So I cannot not cry. It's wild. And it's weird because it's like, even if it's like a very safe situation that I've struggled. Do you have crygasms? I do. So I cannot not cry. And it's weird, because it's like even if it's like a very safe situation and I'm happy, my eyes well up,

and I have to just, it's just honestly, it's like it flies out of my eyes. It's just intense emotion. Is it just intense emotion or is it sadness? I don't know, but I get a sadness. Me and Esther locked eyes and we're like, what the fuck? Who are these crazy bitches?

Sometimes emotions go where they're not supposed to or maybe you guys do you ever feel like there's something preventing you from achieving your goals oh usually the seasons yeah or anything sometimes it's you just got the blues that's why i love better help and why we want people to check out betterhelp.com slash trash tuesday if you're watching this show chances are you're not you're not doing well you're not secure you're you're learning to be accept yourself for who you are but you know who helps you do that better help better help is online therapy and it's so cool because they can match you with a therapist in just under 48 hours they have a journal feature so if you're having big feelings and can't speak to your therapist right away

you can just jot those down um i love that it's confidential you can chat with them on video or if you're having a really really heavy day you can talk to them on the phone in the dark whatever you need they have if you don't like your the first put on a gimp mask put on a gimp mask any it's your apartment it's confidential too anything you share is confidential and i feel like a lot of us don't really have that in our lives someone where you can just say everything right and it is very affordable kalilah used to say you were dead inside and now you say i've been resuscitated i have been resuscitated thanks to better help they gave her cpr her inside self we want you to start living a happier life today and as a listener you'll get 10 off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash

trash tuesday join over 1 million people who've taken charge of their mental health again that's better help help.com slash trash tuesday I do recommend you getting your appointment before the live streaming event. Yeah, just ready, prepped and ready to go. You guys, let's talk about manscaped. Okay. Yeah, let's talk. Let's make some manscape plans, actually, because I do actually use manscape on my vaginal regions and my my asshole. vaginal regions and my my ash hole well yes because they have the led light yes you can see right up there yeah you can get that real good accuracy that you need you don't have to worry about your partner getting their arm stuck in there for 127 hours and you guys we're we don't mind hair we just need you to show us that you care a little bit by grooming a little bit you

care i care We can share. Manscaped are the global leaders in men's below-the-waist grooming and have forever changed the grooming game with their amazing Performance Package 4.0. Inside this ball care bundle, you'll find the Lawn Mower 4.0 trimmer, Weed Whacker ear and nose hair trimmer. We hope Esther will find the nose hair trimmer. I'm looking for it. Crop Preserver, Ball Deodorant, Crop Reviver Toner, Performance Boxer Breeze, and a Travel Bag to hold all the goodies. So it's a really cute gift. It comes with a lot of thoughtful things.

And the Lawn Mower 4.0 Trimmer is waterproof. And like Kalilah said, equipped with an LED light. So you bet it's a major key to the new shower routine. No more mess on the bathroom floor. Yeah, I like Todd wears the boxers all the time. And I always know he's clean shaven when he puts them on. routine no more mess on the bathroom floor yeah i like todd wears the boxers all the time and i i always know he's clean shaven when he puts them on get 20 off and free shipping with the code trash at manscape.com that's 20 off and free shipping with a code trash at manscape.com

spring is nature's way of saying let's party so party on with manscape wait you know what i was just you made me think of do you have a third eye blind song when he's like with Manscaped. Wait, you know what I was just, you made me think of the Third Eye Blind song when he's like, when I fell asleep inside you. No, how do I get back to that place? I fell asleep inside you.

How do I get back to that place? As the co-host of Third Eye Blind's favorite podcast. Literally. Stephen Jenkins follows me on Instagram. The last week clip this and he'll probably see

if you tag him hey baby what's up well I love that because honestly they're orbiting they were at Supernova recently

Corinne and I saw them we went to the we managed to get to the front row and I was like how am I gonna stand out to Stephen Jenkins you should have said

how am I gonna fall asleep in front of him we managed to get to the front row like it was a fight we just walked Stephen Jenkins. You should have said, how am I going to fall asleep in time? I like that you're saying, like, we managed to get to the front row. Like, it was a fight. We just walked.

We were like, you know, we're into the 30s and 40s. We were like, yeah, we don't need to be on time. Our kids don't need babysitters. Right. Because they don't have kids.

After we clawed our way to the front. And then at the end, when he was like, saying hi to everybody. The third eye blind mosh pit. It was, it was a rock it was like a rock and i took this the flashlight on your iphone and i shined it at me this is true

because i was like everyone's shining it over there i'm shining at me because i want him to see my face and but i blinded myself and i didn't see that he actually did look at me steven when you try to lay on yourself at a concert, it turns out the lead singer notices. What are you doing? That's so funny. That's a really great tip. Yeah. But also blinded. So he's like, is she having a seizure?

We can't have a thing happen like Travis Scott. Yeah. You know, allegedly a toxic person. But I'm like, of course he is. Look at the, listen to the lyrics of the song. If he was a sweetheart, I'd be disappointed. Listen, we don't think you're toxic. You should switch over to our show being your favorite.

She's a bitch. I'd be disappointed. Listen, we don't think you're toxic. You should switch over to our show being your favorite. She's a bitch. I hope you're toxic at all. He followed her on Instagram and was commenting on her shit. You're all like, you shine the light? Yeah. And then I tagged him in a photo on Stories. He goes, oh, I didn't know you were there. You should have told me.

And I was like, then what would have happened if I told you? Would we have had sex? Yeah. I told you with the light in my face. You didn't see the big spotlight i brought with me we lingered after the concert too yeah because i was like we had a moment so we hung out after that concert on the streets we did and he didn't come out my favorite part was when the security guard looks at christina and goes i've been working here for

20 years i've never seen someone do this before unique so i! So sad. I'm unique. I'm good. Okay, so are you a your foot out person? You expose the feet. What? Oh, that's right. You like to blur your feet.

I think they can't have them for free. Oh, yeah. What is it though? What's the foot fetish website that we're all on? Wicked for you. Yeah.

Yeah. Great job, ladies. I do look hot though. I'm like, I'm excited you're doing it. Well, I'm just so excited to have my toes out from New York.

It's been cold for so long. I'm like, they need to go out. Also, like, I have a big old bunion from wearing Spice Girls shoes, so no one wants these. But you keep your feet so nice. These are Marshall's shoes. If a guy saw my feet right now, he'd run away. Really?

They like to fuck in here. They don't care about a bunion. They want between the toes? Oh, no. Between the edges. Victoria Beckham has bunions, so I think it's okay that I have them. It's tighter. Can we go back to fucking even jenkins sorry can we go back to fucking an ex real quick because i actually

and now that i think about it it's very rare that i've done it but the times that i have it's been pretty great because like yeah for me really i've only fucked an ex once and never again i did it once at here to me it's like the ultimate opportunity to use a guy for sex because you know. They're a doll. They're a fucked doll. Yes. You know how to get your way. Theoretically, yes.

You go in. In theory, yes. You do that to your guy friends that you. Okay, listen. I begged one of my guy friends. I'll tell you afterwards. We probably all begged him. Probably.

It was so disappointing. It was so disappointing. This is the take back the night. Didn't make me come, I was so annoyed. So I hooked up with my friend who, he like wore me down over. He didn't make you come? Yeah, so many male comics haven't made me come. Actually every male comic.

Yeah, I've had a lot of male comics except one male comic. I wanna go through the list. Really, I feel like comics have actually made me bleep out a lot. If we bleep out the names. One comic did that made me come as well. I want to go through the list. Really? I feel like comics have actually made me bleep out a lot. If we bleep out all the names. One comic did. I'm trying to think.

And then it was just, he was so like fake and like porn star. I don't know. It was just like, it felt disrespectful. I'm like, I'm your friend. I know your parents' names.

Like, be real. Like, I'm a hippie. I like to be like really open when I fucking, it just felt like. How are hippies open when they fuck? Like, I like to have like a connection, like a hippie. I like to be like really open when I fucking, it just felt like. How, how, how, how are hippies open when they fuck? Like, I like to have like a connection,

like a heart connect. And it, you like to feel authentic. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and it's not, you know,

and I'm like, I'm not going to betray you and like catch feelings or anything. There's no hope of that. Are you saying he just like, wasn't being himself? He wasn't in the moment. He was like putting on a show. I just was like insulted,

but. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've had sex like that where you're like you weren't even there the whole time yeah i love to put on the show during sex i get all my stuffed animals and i do a little tap dance and then you put them beside you wait when you ride the d you guys i just found out that i've been doing it well wrong in quotes i like go full on squat up and down we were just talking about this but like that's not fun yeah but do you allow

do you come out of him completely because there's a danger there we were talking about when you break a dick yeah I don't want to crack a cock well that's a better way of thinking crack a cock but she doesn't want to hurt herself what. That's a better way of thinking. Crack a cock.

But she doesn't want to hurt herself. What is it like to have high self-esteem? Is it like one of those flares you have to crack for them to light up? Yes, yes. It's a glow stick. Oh my God, if you break the guy's dick, it glows. Yeah. That would be nice.

We should try. There's nothing okay about a sex position that requires my feet on the ground. But see, that to me gives more control. But that's like, Esther's not used to her feet being on the ground. They're usually dangling off seats. I don't do that. That's like a squatting.

You know why? Because you have way too much work. I feel like you're better in bed than. Christina. Maybe us. Do you do it like that? You have very loose Achilles is why. So you're able to do the deep Asian squat, which is what I can do

Yeah Yeah, but see this is not comfortable exactly It's way too much why your house is the way it is because you're actually working out when you're having sex I'm very lazy. So it's a whole like it's front like this no oh but that's a good one that's good but i never exert that much it's almost like nothing happened what that could be um but yeah that's that's real real effort and i think that's why your your um backside is very very um well formed thanks yeah it could be like but it could be the the ass could have come before the squats oh yeah yeah or the squats you know i think yeah the ass was there and then i got a

hold of a squat rack and it was like get the the fuck out of my way. Now you have a mission. One of my favorite memories that I've had, I think in my life. Was that when that nail fell off? Shut the fuck up, you bitch. I'm horrified, bitch. You're rich. Was when you, they were busy. I went to fix it.

I have to go back later today. When I was at a strip club with you. Right. And you were just- And she wore a winter hat. We had fun. And those- Guys, Corinne was, she was making it rain and you were just and she wore a winter hat we had fun and those guys Corinne was

she was making it rain and she was buying lap dance after lap dance for her younger boyfriend and it was so fun and hot you were just like chilling confident

mommy warbucks baby yeah it was so hot can I just make an observation thank you your eyes are lit up Esther you're just so joyful right now Esther

this is Esther's dream podcast is those three sad you're just so joyful right now this is esther's dream podcast is those three and we're just disappointing her left and right never gone to a strip club with her yeah brought it up every day well we went because esther requested it and i was like oh i can make that happen because there is actually a strip club i like going to a lot in new york that we had been going to and i was like perfect timing we go to sapphire a lot there's two locations but yeah we like i know like no people who dance there so it's a fun time but does that like turn you on to watch um it doesn't like turn me on it doesn't turn me off i just it was his it was like his first time it wasn't like it was his first time at a strip club and i wanted him to have a good time

because all my other girlfriends were like what are you doing and i was like what am i gonna do like be like don't look at any other ladies at this first time at a strip club that would be psychotic it doesn't work yeah oh that's cute wow christian 24 i don't know no i was surprised too it seemed like i would by 24 i had been to multiple strip clubs so i don't know but it's the same thing for me with food it's like i never say like you can't ever have a cinnamon roll again but carlos does does carlos tell you to not go into the strip club no like you wanna you don't want to have something be a naughty temptation for a guy that's why any temptations in this relationship well remember chris de stefano was saying his wife like lets him that jazzy lets him it was like you can

do whatever you want on the road and he's like now i never have any interest well esther parell talks about like the other like the the significance of the other so if it so that makes you because when you mold into one person when you date for so long and you're like one person and you don't want to fuck anymore that's why because you you're one unit you have to be separate and in order to keep that separateness you play with you either flirt with like oh is are you gonna oh that shirt's very sexy like a lot of women are gonna hit on you tonight or something like you play with this idea of like another person i love when i've never i love when girls hit on my boyfriends i do too it's my favorite i've only had it's interesting that

i thought of cheetah may never ruined my they've never ruined my ability to watch my boyfriend flirt are you exploring this i think that i am you should try it in your dirty talk first that's like the best way to ease in um so i've always like every boyfriend i've ever had i've always sort of like edged with myself where i'm like but i've never really gone there fully it's so fun and i really would like to like i've broached the subject with bobby and he's just um like we might have given each other hall passes in the past but we've never i've never been a cuck i've never watched him do anything who would you rather watch me or esther banging bobby um you have to tell the truth we're right here probably

I would be lifting him up can I answer for you I would be lifting him up yeah because of his bodily I would be fine yeah I just like that

he would have to climb you yeah Esther and him are too similar in size I also think he's so repulsed by me like cause I he looks at me

that's what turns you on he looks at me and he sees himself right oh my god yes and i think you're like an exotic why don't you like asian men keep getting compared to you on this show you're an old gay asian male murderer i want to know about your experience yeah well so my ex-boyfriend and i would take girls out

on dates okay yeah and we would say how like... And how do you tell them? Do they... Does the girl... It's on an app. It's on a three-way app. Now it's called Field. What was it called before? Thrender.

It was Thrender, yes. I know Thrender. But it's the same app. So everybody automatically on that app is cool. Like, they're just... If it's a kinky sexual type of, like, environment... Yeah. Everybody's really like,

hey, this is what I like. This is what I don't like. Like, does that work for you? And it's very, very upfront. Very transactional, but not in a not hot way like they're like a surrogate they're like a surrogate for your guys kind of can you meet a surrogate on there a sir well yeah we want to fuck the pussy our kids are you trying to get i want to see how much it stretches esther just learned what fisting is oh yeah i did too for because you know when you were a child you thought that right I wanna see how much it stretches. Esther just learned what fisting is. So she's like, she's just like. She started with an actual punch.

Yeah, I did too. Cause you know, it's. Yeah, when you were a child, you thought that, right? And then you grew up. That's not true. The video we watched last week was a girl punching into her ass. But she had to get in first.

She had to get in first. I would love to not revisit this talk. We have such a great thing going on. I would love to have you bend over and then me to revisit the action. When it comes to the cuck situation, do you like just watching him? Like, how does it usually go down? Like, what is your ultimate, like, oh, I love that.

Do you like orchestrating? We were figuring it out as we went because I didn't know yet. All I knew was it was the porn I watched and it was what I fantasized about when I masturbated. And then we incorporated it into our dirty talk. fantasize about when i masturbated and then we incorporated it into our dirty talk over the course of i would say three years it went from talking about it for the first time to actually taking girls out on dates i feel like it's too healthy the way you're doing it it was pretty healthy and it was like i was so hot some of the hottest sex i've ever had in my life wait tell us more details like this girl like i was on like i was laying down and this like there i remember

in toronto um this gorgeous girl like she was on top like I was laying down in this like, I remember in Toronto, this gorgeous girl, like she was on top of me and then he was fucking her from behind. And I was like, this is just the best. I'm just going to keep this in my spank bank for the rest of my life. I would be like this. I would be like. You guys.

Well, the first time it was awkward. The first time we did it with this one girl was just very uncomfortable. And she was really good at sucking his dick in a way that I was like, ugh. But isn't that the point? But did you take the, did you take the- I did.

I said, I said, I'm jealous and I don't know what to do right now, but that's also what turns me on about it. This is very conflicting. But after I came, I was like, did she suck your dick better than me? And he was like, well, it's different. I'm like, that makes me better.

It's different? Like she doesn't use her teeth, you dumb bitch. Loser. Wait, but I thought, see, that's what gets me off is the fact that I'm threatened and jealous. It's very fun to play with. It's like when you're a kid and you play pretend. You're playing pretend. You're playing.

Wait, yeah. I'm scared of you. I'm scared. I was like, first of all, I'm under Bobby. Yeah, if you're fucking Bobby and then Kalilah comes out from the corner, you're like, oh, sorry. I'm already under Bobby. So I'm worried about my breath. I'm like, this is before rehab bobby okay i'm like i'm like how can such a short man be hold so much

weight and then he's rolling around you know like a boso ball on me and then i'm like and then kalilah's there like with like a fucking spearfish thing she's gonna ready to kill you she's a fish murderer well i just so funny i want to be the orchestrator like i have to you're the you're the one who calls the shots okay wait now i like it cut to her sewing sewing strings and people my mouth sewn shot i gotta cut it open to put bobby's dick in it you can have sex with my boyfriend but i'm managing the strings so it's gonna be like Saw have you seen that movie

have you seen Hostel because I have been with two men I was in a relationship with two men but that was so different at the same time at the same time

are you actually polyamorous that sounds fun I'm not I wouldn't say that we call our dating life two and a half men and the half is Bobby I was in a polyamorous

relationship but i don't think that is something that like it was very emotionally exhausting yeah sexually fun sometimes but that's such a small percentage of the relationship so as the years went on it was just very very um how many how much laundry can i fold she's just a laundry jello jesus christ did they did they want more of your attention than what they got? They did get, they weren't close. So it was very, you know, in any other world, they would not be friends. In fact, when their relationship was over, they did not keep in touch. That sounds fun.

They didn't keep in touch. Like you're the common denominator that they both are. Remember we fucked the same girl for a couple years. I was very taken care of, I imagine. Well, yes, yes. But also, no but also no because you know there was jealousy there was things like that involved did they you guys should have a reunion yeah on the show this show wait we should honestly should i call him he's still one of my best friends which one would you call oh then the guy we can only three-way call them okay we're not doing these yeah yeah we have to be fair i wanted to say did they ever like when when one of them was

banging and the other one came to get you were they like esther when carlos took the cupcake no it wasn't always like that but one of them would wouldn't last as long as the other and then he would then cry at the same time at the same time wow all the time not all the time oh that's so now does that appeal to you yeah i've done that i've done two guys yeah oh my god we flew my god stories i want to know stories from l.a to the guys kisses no no wait can you say that's the part i would like he is a lovely guy yeah wonderful like great dick oh my god ryan what is it ryan driller driller you flew him somewhere and a guy flew him out to new york in a hotel pull him out and he uh he is gorgeous banged the crap out of me was the other guy did they do stuff no that was just they kind of have like a thing that like the other guy like

wanted to see me get fucked like yet that was a turn on for him we were gonna do it we were gonna do it with a girl next but then we didn't get that oh the Oh, Esther's coming. Oh, I would have called you. Look how red her face is getting. She's silent coming. No, this is really interesting stuff. She goes, oh, so. Like that dick will give you cramps. Yeah, he's. That dick gives you cramps.

Any other crazy story? I know. I felt that in my chest. Yeah. Am I having a heart attack? You feel it in your esophagus. Yeah. I'm so happy that I finally found a deodorant i love with native so are we yeah i guess it's better for you more thrilled they've got really nice flavors is it do you call them flavors

scents scents i mean if you're eating it that's up to you they do you know what they smell like they would be tasty. I would lick. I'll do it on the live. Okay. The live stream. I'll lick your arm. My particular, the one that I use is the lavender rose.

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I need these. Ginger lemonade cupcake. That's me. That screams me. I want mint. No. Ginger lemon cupcake is how I want to smell no ginger lemon cupcake that's how i want to i obviously want tie-dye vanilla right now um you guys can smell

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they do all the hard work for you yeah they basically educate you on what to pair with certain wines what you know flavor profiles what notes to look out for and i think that it's sort of like you can be a sommelier after a couple boxes of a semi-ole and um i think what i do at least is because i never like to go to people's homes empty-handed so for me i keep a box in my pantry and anywhere any party i have to go to i always have a bottle ready i never like to leave empty hand so i will just grab that right from your cell i like to bring an empty bag yes put your wine in there and then take it to my next party what i really enjoyed was it asked me questions about the person's palate so obviously if you're doing it for yourself that's easy but i

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bottles for just $55 you guys. That's six bottles for just $55. Crazy value. Under for just 55 crazy value under 10 each follow the link to take the quiz and get started today uh okay so i got tristan teramino who's a porn star she wrote a book on she wrote a lot of books on on sex um she i went to a class of hers uh pleasure test in new york city and she recommended something that i was like oh and i did it and i was like oh that's a good tip bedroom high heels so you have a pair of high heels that you only wear in bed so they're never like you don't have

to worry about astro has those so she can get into the bed that's a bedroom ladder um uh i did that uh which i guess isn't really role play but it like made me feel different no that's cool like i like that part of role playing the weirdest role play i ever did i was trying to scan through my brain was um a christmas elf so you might be into that oh you are cute kind of elf like yeah well i was an elf at macy's santa land when i was in college are you serious yeah because i was doing research for my thesis film which is a documentary about about the myth of Santa Claus. Sorry to break that to you on the podcast. No, she's Jewish. She was the kid breaking it to us.

Don't worry. Oh my God. Andy Wood, you bitch. I'll never forget you. This may sound like a shocker, but I write to Santa every year still. That's very sweet. No, when I saw you sucking your thumb on the plane

watching a cartoon, I said, yes, this bitch writes to Santa. It was anime. That's not, no. When I saw you sucking your thumb on the plane watching a cartoon, I said, yes, this bitch writes to Santa. It was anime. Anime's very adult themed. It is, yeah. You try to talk to her, she's like. She's like, they're about to bang. Did you watch the documentary on the plane,

The Dear Santa? They have it on Delta Flight. I have never. You have to, and you should become a volunteer. I want to do this. You can become a volunteer and. To help the kids that get molested. Yes. Wait, you respond to the kids. And then you should become a volunteer. I want to do this. You can become a volunteer. To help the kids that get molested? Yes.

You respond. Wait, you respond to the kids? And then you respond to the kids. It's a U.S. Postal Service run thing. And volunteers from all over the world reply to letters to Santa. Do you ever put your handle in? You're like, follow me. I want to teach you about squirting. Listen to guys we've fucked.

You want to hear about the guys I've fucked? No, but I, Corinne, I don't want to respond as santa i want santa to respond okay it's been 37 years esther i know what you're what you can role play with dear kalilah it's me can you do a better santa voice than that no well santa porn would be it'd be hot though like the movie what is a bad santa like that turns so hot i met him wait billy i met him no no no i met him my my friend was banging john reese the guy who played um uncle rico they were doing the astronaut farmer in santa fe i used to live there and so we were on set and i was in the craft services truck and Billy Bob comes on and he goes, Billy Bob Thornton, international superstar. And then I went, okay.

And then I was like, I can't give this to you, Sarah. This is going to be hard. And then he said, can I ask you a question? And I said, what? And he goes, is three inches too small? And I said, it depends on which way you're holding the ruler, which I thought was so good. And then he said, do you know any virgins and i said yes and he said can i meet them and i said absolutely not and that was my and then john's like i could hook you up with him if you want he asked you for virgins yeah it was all within like it was like a it was like like he had an international superstar three inches virgins and i was like you are being very billy bob thornton this is exactly what i thought it would be oh my god but he was just having fun on a craft services

he was just eating some did you did you find him to be hot no okay i was more like i fucked the crew the crew is always hotter though i was like let me massage that one shoulder you've been holding the camera on. Yeah. Those are the hotter guys. Yeah, that was my. The lift. But so you did elf role play? Yeah, yeah. What role play do you do, Esther?

If it's not elf, you're really missing out. There's a whole. I also, I wanna like go back and say, I don't do elf role play. You've done it. I one time. You've become elf. Partook do elf roleplay. I one time become elf. Do you have those elf bedroom shoes?

With little jingle bells on them? It's funny because I Do you ever just like candy cane yourself? Oh no that actually sounds like a good idea. But doesn't it? It would be refreshing. Well I've been doing a joke about how I like forget my yoni crystal and so I put in a watermelon jolly rancher instead same thing and then i keep thinking like that's actually like

a good idea it's like a mystery flavor for guys but then i was like do we get a yeast infection immediately yes okay it's pure sugar that's a lot because then you're like mystery flavor and then a week later you're like it the mystery flavor is fish medication i've got bv you guys are destroying Christmas for me. It's a very special time of year. Oh my God. You sound so, this is the most molested.

You always sound molested. This is the most. Honestly, we are not preserving Christmas for you. Let me tell you. You're almost 40, bitch. Okay. We're not preserving Christmas for you.

Christmas is off limits. You guys don't touch Christmas. It's your pure heart place do you think your christmas obsession has something to do with your father being like a white older man um well my dad would go through my dad would christmas is just a very big to do so he would have us write our letters and then what he would do is he would hire my uncles or anyone around town to make the noises at midnight as if s sleigh. Oh yeah, my dad did that. Yeah.

He did the reindeer stomping on the roof. I had reindeer footprints on the roof. With the oatmeal and the glitter. Blitzen lost his bow one time. Oh, what? Yeah. I had cigarette burns on my arm. I had none of this.

Wait, I'm, what? And so, yes. We'll do it for you this year, Esther. Yeah. Oh my God, that's so scary. Esther. You call 911 and there's a helicopter. We start shaking your house shapes.

It was kind of scary. So what my parents would do is they would say, you know, go to bed, it's nine o'clock. And then when Christmas hits at midnight, you would start to hear the noises in the roof. And all of the kids would be slumbered together in the same room. And you're like, oh my god, I think, is that what I think it is? Oh, how magical. And then they're like, Santa's here. And all the kids rush out of the kids would be slumbered together in the same room and you're like, oh my God, I think, is that what I think it is? Oh, how magical. And then they're like, Santa's here and all the kids rush out of the room

and we go down the stairs and then my dad will like leave hula hoops on a tree. I'm like, oh, he must've forgotten. I don't know why I imagine you guys are the ones making the toys in the Philippines. I'm like, you get Christmas? I thought you made our toys. That too, yes.

The pitter patter, I thought they literally hired you guys to pitter patter on our roof. You know, I'll say made our toys. That too, yes. I thought they literally hired you guys to pitter-patter on our roof. You know, I'll say something about that. When I first came to America in 98, I was obsessed with FUBU jackets. Oh! And so I would... Oh my God!

You guys. Oh, don't do it. But here's where... I's where we have a flashback one are you triggered or are you excited excited duck and cover so i would but here's how the disillusionment with america started is when i finally saved up enough money to buy a fubu jacket and i went to the pasadena mall. I picked it up. I was like, oh dear God. Like the music was playing as I approached the table

with the jacket. In your head. It was a jagged edge. Yeah. And so I finally picked it up and then I saw made in the Philippines. And FUBU meant for us, by us, right? So I thought it was the most American thing I could purchase.

And then when I looked at it, I was like, fuck. It was for you. My aunt probably made this at it, I was like, fuck, my aunt probably made this. It was really for us by you, but like in the other place. It was for you by you, but like from over there. I stand by my aunt. I want us to get Tommy Girl. I want to have like a

short Tommy Girl shirt. I want some polo sport just like sprayed on me. I have a pair of FUBU pants that I just bought that's vintage. I'm drenched talking about this. Yeah. Annie, we should bring it back. I think it's coming back.

It's been back. Yeah. I'm on board with that. Yes. Guys, I'm vibrating. I feel like parents sort of set us up for failure in that way. I'm still on the Santa thing, guys. That's what I mean.

That documentary because it literally crushed my soul when i found out it wasn't real i mean you keep searching for maybe well here's my thing it's like they just never told you i i don't know how they broke if they actually told you he wasn't real but for me it was just like left in the open so here i am 37 still writing letters right right because i still kind of want to hang on to something but um i think that um you're right like it's kind of this like trauma in its own way you're like oh fuck the fantasy bubble has burst yeah i talked to a child psychologist in the documentary i talked to a priest in the documentary and a lot of people had different thoughts because there are like if you remember like the mara wilson version of miracle on 34th street uh that's kind of part of the the plot line is that she's like this very adult child and her parents are very open with her that santa

doesn't exist so it's even more magical what in the film he does uh but i always i always was interested in the parents who raised their kids like Mara Wilson because those kids were weird, too. You know, those adult children. Yeah. Born and raised in Manhattan. Exactly. Born and raised in Manhattan is exactly it. Yeah.

See, I would not want to lie to my children. I wouldn't either. My take on it would be like, this is a make-believe story. We're pretending it's real. But like there is, St. Nicholas is a figure, a true historical figure. So I think if you connect it

to the history, it's not a lie. Or at the end, by the time they're old enough to be like, you got to tell them, just say Santa's in your heart. But also you need magic in life.

And I think like too much honesty with kids is also a problem. You know what I mean? It's so fun. No, no, Christmas is fun. Lie to them. Yeah. And they're going to get lied magic in life. And I think like too much honesty with kids is also a problem. You know, I agree. Christmas is fun. Lie to them. Yeah. And they're going to get lied to. And I feel like it's like I think religion should all be the same way.

It's like when the kids ate, you just go like. Yeah, religion is the same fucking thing. Like it's not. You don't have to. We made it up. It's like you got the morals. You got the you learn the lesson. Don't like lie to thy neighbor.

At eight, God isn't real. Yeah, I feel like there are more destructive lies. Or even that you're definitely going to find this person who's your soulmate. Oh, I know. But then it happens. You could, though. You could. You could.

But to constantly wait for that, I think, is destructive to women, especially. So, yeah. Or straight women, yeah. Well, The Bachelor sort of proves that right that whole idea of a soulmate like you could just like you could fall in love with so many different people and have intense connections in so many ways so it's like it's just really what you know direction you you ultimately choose but it's just listen who's gonna like for me it's like who's gonna do your laundry who's gonna who's gonna do your laundry who's gonna

does your boyfriend do your laundry yes he does that's incredible you found the one no he's a yeah no he's a helper domestic yeah because you have a much younger boyfriend too right oh yeah do you have a young boy my boyfriend's 24 i'm 36 yeah i'm 30 i'm 38 and my boyfriend's 27 yeah nice yeah it's the greatest thing i've ever done. 34 and single. Exactly. They're very emotionally in touch. But not after that bounce. We'll get you some boy slugs

after you. Ooh, thank you. Let's have a banana break. Carlos, will you deep throat one? What part of the show is this? He always deep throats when he's being shot. Potassium out.

I was looking at this TikTok of this woman who said that the cross section or the anatomical figure of the clitoris is omitted from all anatomy textbooks. And so she's trying to sort of overturn or fix that because if, and I can speak to this because I was an anatomy and physiology tutor but we don't see the yeah for years number one in long beach what is that you still are you still the vagina is but what was your favorite you don't learn about the female orgasm you don't you don't learn about the male one because that's and it's especially important to get the cross-section of of or that image because you know you then know where the nerves sit yeah so like right um she's and and something happened to her i'm not sure what happened to her but her her point was she was taken out a lot of things happen like vaginal injuries things of

that sort happen to a lot of women when they're older and doctors because they didn't have that in their anatomy books either they sort sort of just like don't, like when a woman gets pregnant or she tears a certain part of her vagina or a clitoris is injured, they don't really care to kind of patch it up correctly because they're not looking after the pleasure centers of women. A clitoral injury is really dark.

I mean, I ran into a wall on a bicycle and definitely bruised my pussy really hard when I was younger. And I thought to myself, oh my God, like, like am i destroyed but i want to know what you guys think about that and is this the reason why so many boys either can't find it don't know what to do with it don't have the full picture of what that looks like because they think it's just this button on top and it's such a full thing well and also too with sex ed i don't know about you guys but we got separated like the first the first oh you did said was the girls went in one room to learn about the periods and the boys

went in another room to learn about boners and so as a result grown men like missed out on the period no my twin have a lot of sisters you you're fucked my twin brother and i were in the same class don't worry for the sex part we were in the same class but yeah we were also split for the periods and i guess the puberty part yeah split up yeah no we were we were straight all together they put a holding tampons and i have a kink about dudes removing my tampons for me what it's a thing i don't know where it comes from but i like it i don't take my own tampons out during never it's always like you pull it out. No.

Well, like if we're having sex, it's like, no, you pull it out. Yeah. It's part of the. I like being dressed. I like when,

like some mornings I'll beg Dave, like, please put my socks on. Oh my God. I'm going to get you, I'm going to get you an adult size changing table. I'm going to lift her legs up. Insert the tampon.

I miss having a boyfriend you could be so comfortable with and just like play with their body and like ask things that are just like not appropriate yeah just like kick them in the face sometimes i'll make like the penis talk out of the people oh yeah that's fun i don't like that they don't like that they don't like funny. I like that you've all done it so you know that they don't like that. I've never done that. I don't like making a penis funny

because then I don't want to write it. But it's flaccid. It's hilarious. I can't even look at it. It's not. I know. You might as well make it a puppet. I had a boyfriend

who I knew I was breaking up with him, but he didn't know I was breaking up with him, so I knew I was giving him his last handjob. We were at handjobs. I was like, I gave him

I gave him turbo jerks in the shower where like I wouldn't even be facing him he would be in the shower I'd be out of the shower like I'm only wet up to like mid forearm

wow I wanted out I was like dump me dump me I just didn't want to be the one fucking break up with me and I would give him the turbo jerks

and we had just seen blackfish that's why i would always like do it because i don't want to turn into a murder yeah and make him till it come on his stomach but then so we so then he my last hand job when i was like i got i'm gonna just have to fucking dump this guy was three years it's supposed to be about two months i was like oh god what am i gonna do it was such a nightmare so i was like jerking him off and then i was like i wonder if i can get in a nightmare. So I was like jerking him off. And then I was like, I wonder if I can get in his mouth. And so I was like jerking him off. He had a pretty big dick. And right as he was starting to seize, I just, I angled it up and I got it right in his mouth.

Wow. Yes. What? That's pretty heroic. It was so good. I was like, well, I used to tell it on stage and I was like. It's like Harlem Globetrotters of hand. No, it was so cool.

I know. I was like spinning him. Do your little trampoline. I was spinning him by his boner like globetrotters of no it was so cool i know i was like spinning your little trampoline i was spinning it by his boner like this by the end of it yeah no it was really cool i was like really proud of myself but it was evil because i knew it was his last one that was the me you know that moment where you're like oh i'm gonna break up with you yeah i had that and then it's so much more time passes before you actually do it we were on a hike and i, we were on a hike. We were going up the mountain and the sun was setting and, and he like kind of like dipped me in front of the sun and,

and wanted to like kiss me. And I felt nothing. He may as well have been like my aunt, you know, like I felt nothing, but if, but we were, and I almost said something, I was like, my heart was beating, but we were going up the mountain and we still had to finish the hike. So if we had been going down, I would have cut two and a half years out of that relationship. Wow.

Never again. I was younger then. I say you have to wait at least a month before you decide on whether or not that feeling of ick is real or fleeting. I guess so. Because it's like. Because it could be just the day. Well, it was on my. It was out of me

though the snake the obsession snake had left the building well depending on where i am in my cycle like when i'm close to i'm i there are moments where i really really hate my partner yeah yeah me too when i was on birth control especially i'm not on it now. But yeah, I almost felt just so like, ooh. And I always would tell myself, it's just for a day or two. You don't actually hate this person. I hate Bobby too. I've never dumped anyone. So I can't.

Really? Never. You always get dumped? Yes. Look at that dumpable face. And I've never had a thing where I'm like, I don't like them. I have to hold. You test them too. You tested Dave. I do do i will throw tests for sure anymore that's yeah the beginning

yeah in the beginning you kind of yeah move in or we're done when you're in your early 20s you know you play the game when you're in your early 20s living in the same room as one grown woman yes i it was time came from i came from rough beginnings what what so what's is there a reason that you most likely is there a feedback that you get consistently from partners when you get dumb i i think i'm i don't know no i have never gotten consistent like you started to get too old looking i think it just ends yeah i don't i can't like remember you are they realize you have a driver's license a pal a buddy friend a good buddy i could see him becoming a pal yeah i'd threaten the new girlfriend well do you have like little little sister what do you say i have kid

sister energy oh i do have i do have little sister energy and i gotta kill that part of me when i'm trying to fuck yeah i'm like are you because that is not fuck are you trying to like get a go to the candy store with these but you know what i do relate to that breakup feeling in friendships like i recently had a thing where i was like oh once you click that it's over like and you sell yourself on the idea and you're like it's over yeah and someone was was telling me that's very much like a an ex-boyfriend thing and so i know that feeling when you're like it's enough it's done and there's nothing you can say or do to like come back it ran its course yeah well have you been friend dumped too like when you get friend dumped you get you're like so hurt for a while but then when you just release and you

look back on it you go oh thank god it's always a gift i love friend dumping oh really it's amazing it's a lot harder in my opinion than a romantic breakup well because you can't blame like the sex but it's just like i don't like necessary at all yeah it's i don't want to hang out it's it's i just learned this year how to do it and it's like it's amazing i just block them and don't talk to them i did so many over quarantine like there's so many people that i cut out of my life cut them out or were you just like some formally some not but it felt it's just like i felt so much lighter like i was like there's just too many people when you friend them do you have to announce it to that person or can you just you can or you can't

it doesn't matter like there's it depends i think it depends like the level of your friendship was, how that person responds to you pulling away. Some people will directly ask. And if you're going to ask me, I'll give you an answer. That's how I feel. But I don't think everyone needs like also to give feedback to someone who's not your romantic partner. Because the romantic partner, I think, deserves feedback because you're the only partner. I think deserves feedback because you're the only partner but friends like you're you know that's assuming that the person has multiple friends and you're not leaving them friendless right uh and it's almost like well who the fuck asked for my feedback on why they're not a good friend

they're just not a good friend for me anymore it's kind of what you were saying about like sex because we've had we've had sex with the same people and had very different experiences yeah i'm very different i never ever ever now annie but you know what i never feel like you just don't care yeah and i just was like and it's and it was i was totally okay with it yeah and you sometimes you don't know that until you're both naked right oh right whatever the fuck this is it's not it's not conduc have to scratch the itch to realize there was nothing there. Back to friend breakups. Like I feel, because I can't ever really break up with someone.

So in my head, a friend breakup is something, it's more of a pause. It's a shell thing. Like that's what I like to see it as. Like put it on it. At a time, yeah. There might be another time where it might be better for us.

Yeah. I got back together with a friend who I had a very big friend breakup with. Did it work out? Yeah, but it's not this. It's not certainly didn't come back to the level that I was at. But also she lives in a different state now, so it's not possible. But, you know, it was nice to talk about it and, you know, be like, yeah, that we needed to not be friends for a while. You know, when you become enemies like Esther and i got in a fight oh yeah like 10 years ago 10 years ago we had like three years off yeah it's hard it almost is like hard to

remember now but you know when you're kind of like talking shit on each other but i don't i don't count that as an official friend breakup because we were so young and silly it was like exactly an incident happened and then we just took a beat a friend breakup to me it's like so funny it's like someone that's like integrated into your life right and then it's like yeah this is needs a when you're when you're a grown-up like i look at it like i need people that are either this is how i look at my friends you're either making me laugh or you're a therapist of some sort and you are a man wow like you either are making me laugh or you are my hypnotist you're supporting your energy building you up where we share the same like direction upward like i talk to bonnie mcfarland every day and i will never stop but it's

like it's like we laugh all the time but also are working on ourselves so it's like there's two things that i love happening those are good pillars that's the best yeah but like i think about i had a friend who was and she was a really sweet girl i had a i had to stop talking to her because she was pulling me out of my life like she wanted to throw me a surprise party for my birthday and it's like every day is my birthday but you're not a comedian so you don't like understand that so whatever you're planning for me would actually it would instead of having 365 days of birthday, I would have 364 days of birthday. And I would then be doing some boring shit where you're actually just trying to meet

my famous friend. Is that what you said to her? No, I just stopped talking to her forever. Nice. I just got too busy because I am too busy. Like it really is like I'm too busy to be invited to like these events. I don't want to go to that have nothing to do with like me. Well, saying no to stuff is like a game changer.

When I'm saying no a million times, why are you still even asking? Yeah. And you realize, oh, I don't have to do everything that people say. What? That's a great lesson to learn. Not going to a party. Oh, amazing. That's a good example of like a good boundary because it's like it is so easy in

a friendship to get wrapped up and feel like you have to go to this thing or i have to do this because you asked me your default is yes and then you start asking yourself and then it builds up and you're like wait i don't want to do those things what is this like i'm doing things i don't want to do right yes i'm on a vacation i was like in like in another country like why am i here i don't want to be here yeah you get carried away with it because you don't want to do. Yes. I'm on a vacation. I was like in like in another country. Like why am I here? I don't want to be here. Yeah. You get carried away with it

because you don't realize that you're just yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, you know what would happen? What country were you in, Annie? I can't even tell you. I do feel like there it just there comes a time

where I realized it was a low self-esteem on my end because I was looking to another like like she would go let's go on this vacation. I go, oh, that's not like my style at all I would not want to go there and she goes no you

just haven't tried to trust me and I'm like right so then I'd be like maybe I'm wrong and then I'm there and I'm like trying to talk myself into like in this fucking terrible vacation and I'm like I could just be with my boyfriend and my dog like why am I here right yeah I don't you know I have fun at the DMV like I don't need to go right if i'm gonna go i've seen it it's gonna be mine i love it it's a joy i need you um soon to go back to the dmv with me because it would be an honor my niece jules set me up for fucking failure my new dmv picture is horrendous yeah and they wouldn't let me redo it on the spot how bad is it yeah victoria beckham tries to redo it on the spot even they wouldn't let her do it on the spot how bad is it? Victoria Beckham tried to redo it on the spot

even they wouldn't let her do it I don't like that we have a Posh coming in and threatening my Posh are you Posh? she's not Posh I ran a Spice Girls newsletter for years are you Posh? she flew to England to see them

you're obviously Posh my commitment to the Spice Girls is lifelong and heavy but I try to explain to people That I'm posh no matter what you say I don't care what evidence you have Saying that I'm not posh I'm fucking posh Posh comes from within side

It's a vibe Had he known she was posh Would he have given her a second chance Because people just go through the DMV looking pretty No they knew because it was for a documentary chance because people just go through the dmv looking pretty like no they knew because it was a for it was for a documentary so she followed yeah yeah when i obviously there was performatives also because it was for a documentary don't you yeah i don't want to do it again when i first moved to la and i was a babysitter for a wealthy family we i remember we did the morning drop-off it was me and the mom and victoria becca i love that wait i was there

keep going you had to do the morning drop off with them oh yeah i was always a mommy's assistant i was always like just the sidekick but we saw victoria beckham and the mom that i was working for was like is she skinnier than me i was like yes yes 100 if she isn't, you're dead. Yeah, exactly. You are in the ground. Your corpse just bumped into it. You died a while ago. It's been a long time. One of my favorite stories about Victoria Beckham is that her mom trolled her one time

by making her a birthday cake, but it was a sculptured cake and it was like grapes and like a bottle of water because she never ate. And I was like, perhaps you gave your daughter an eating disorder. Yeah, perhaps. Mrs. Adams, but okay.

She's like your mom master. I think she only gained like eight pounds during pregnancy. Yeah, my mom says nine pounds. I think. Just the baby? Nothing else?

Just the baby. I was talking to someone who was saying his girlfriend has eating disorders and then mentioned that her mom was a dietician. I go, oh, that's why she has eating disorders.

Yeah, right. No, no, no, no. She has eating disorders and the mom is a mom was a dietitian i go oh that's why she has eating disorders yeah right no no no she has eating disorders and the mom was a dietitian i went no no that's a fan i was like boys are so dumb yeah they are that's the exact reason exactly oh we don't go into the origin no we we're women we go into the origin story okay we know exactly where it came from yeah yeah anyways you guys thank you so much for being here everyone should listen to guys we've talked about your hit talk make it stop your podcast which is available on luminary but it's also available now yeah it's wide release now everyone can listen to it and we do we do another one tomorrow yes i like this one yeah this is fun i think you guys are pioneers and i forever bow

down to you both and thank you for doing this show some people are gonna think we paid you i know thanks it's so nice we don't know how to take all these compliments you know that my niece my my 20 year old niece she doesn't listen to us she listens to them that yeah you guys thank you thank you for watching check out guys we check out their special on youtube our special day we'll see you next week. And subscribe to this channel because we need it or Annie's going to beat me up. I'm going to fucking kill her. I'm going to kill her.