Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Earn Your Sombrero

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

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it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started well i'm very excited

you guys i have my first stand-up date i know esther you had yours i'm going to the house of comedy in minnesota and that's going to be May 6th through 9th. So it's one show on Thursday, two Friday, two Saturday and one on Sunday. And I am so excited to get back on stage. So get your tickets. I'm going to post on my Instagram. Do you know that Santino and Bobby are trying to pit you against my poor little niece. I have gotten so many messages in the last week that your niece is talking shit about me. No, she's not.

That your niece wants to fight me. No, they're just making it up so y'all think that. You know Jules. Jules is like, Auntie Esther, no. I love Auntie Esther. Of course I'm like,

shut up. Like, I know that. Let's call Jules right now. Are they recording? Of course. Okay, hang on. She's not going to pick up. Tell them to pick up.

Jules, I have a question for you. Are you guys recording? Yeah. Is it true that you want to fight Esther? Yeah. Oh my God, they're holding a gun to her head right now hang on hang on here's i'm gonna pass you to esther hang on hi jules um hi esther so the past few days i have gotten some would say hundreds of messages from people saying that you want to fight me and that you've been talking smack about me but

i feel like you and i we've always really gotten along seeing eye to eye because she's a child you know i i know there was that one time i needed you to move the car um yeah i feel like we've always had a good chemistry and just a mutual respect, but I just wanted to see, like, what's going on. It's either Bobby and Andrew's fault. They want us to fight, so I feel like I need to fight you. Why do they want us to fight? Because they said that I would win and then they said that you would win and what

they said that you were weak oh yeah how much do you weigh um i'm 115 oh yeah she'll crush you yeah but you're so skinny would you be be mad if I was rooting for her? First of all, I'm not physically fighting anyone. You're not. Without a lawyer present. No, that's what I was going to say. You'll fight her in court. Okay, I'm going to hand it over to your Aunt Coloco

because I don't really know what else to say. If I could just be very, very clear about this, this fight would make so much more money than the Jake Paul fight. This would make... Do you want money or not, Esther? Now, before you get cocky, may I remind you that I have seen you box,

and it makes me ashamed to call you family. So don't start fights you can't finish because let me tell you something about esther she'll file some paperwork and she'll come get you she may walk out of a barry's boot camp but she did walk in she is low-key if she puts hands on you i i mean you're you're my niece and all but i might have my money on her so prepare yourself okay to have some really little bruises well let me tell you what you don't know about esther again she's a fucking ankle biter from the age of four to five she she thought she was an actual dog so that's what you're up again so think about it real deep and hard okay okay okay love you bye-bye

i swear the poisonous shit that bobby and santina put in that poor girl's head yeah she shouldn't be around them i blame the ginger can i say something semi-creepy? Yeah. Okay. Always. The way you're dressed today is like the exact way that I'm very attracted to women when they're dressed like this. Like a boy, you mean? Boyish. Boyish. Like ripped, specifically ripped jeans and like a casual, like a vintage-y, cool, like basic top.

And then long, dark hair. Like there's, and your socks your socks like it's there's something very i think my real the real men out there know what i'm talking about this is a very sexy look can i guess why you like the tears in the jeans why because they come up to your height and it looks like you just start to tear clothes off at the knee i do have a tear right in my crotch like this isn't a regular i would have had to jump up for that one also I'd like to point out because I'm sort of anti super torn jeans I'm not into like pre-distressed jeans huh I these jeans were ripped naturally I've had them since I was 15 years old that's such a funny thing to bring up I'm so jealous because I fucking read a magazine

article once it said Halle Berry kept a pair of jeans since she was 15 so she could always know that she fit into them so then I was I read that when I was 15 I was like I'm gonna save this pair of jeans but now I can't find them so it's like my goal I have to find they're a toddler too I can't oh my god I want you guys to actually wear these jeans because they are so soft but so fragile at this point like any movement it's so sad though for me like by the way i would bust them and then all of a sudden the leg would be flapping open and also when some when jeans are baggy on one person and then the other person puts them on and it's like well i guess these pants aren't traveling sisters oh boy but the

best is when a rip jean has like a secretly sexy rip like how you have so you can kind of see your underwear like do you know the ones where it's like right under the butt cheek? I have a couple of those. That to me is sexier than lingerie. How do you well let's be real lingerie has that ever been in your life? That was so weird. It's too much too big of a swing. Do you guys wear lingerie?

No. Do you guys wear lingerie? Laundry? Laundry? My mom calls it lingerie. It's so cute darling maybe you should try to impress bobby with some lingerie i love that even your mom's like listen you've let yourself go you're gonna lose this you're gonna lose this no and you know eric griffin once told

me something that i'll never forget and it pissed me off to no end which is um maybe you should walk around the house in more lacy things well eric griffin notoriously says the most triggering annoying things like a man could say i once we did a pilot for a show where we were gonna like beat uber drivers that were sent taking people to like go get their boyfriends back or so i was like so it was this idea that eric's like this this is going to sell. And I'm like, I don't even know what the idea is. It makes sense that you and Eric were cast as Uber drivers. And also, when do you have two Uber drivers?

That's how bad we are. We needed like a helper. But we were like, you know, had to do these like fake tests or like pretending to drive. And I can't tell you how many times I was genuinely screaming at him like, Eric! Because he was like, women are so shallow. I'm like, my boyfriend is 350 pounds.

I'm shallow? It was so annoying. I do love him though. Meanwhile, he has like a model girlfriend. I'm like, oh, we're shallow. I think that's what happened. I think he looked at his own model-esque, perfect looking girlfriend

and then looked at me and he probably thought bobby's my best friend you could probably try a little bit harder i think he was trying to help bobby out but bobby what he doesn't know that bobby doesn't like that no it's weird that's a specific guy likes yeah yeah lingerie is like hard because i feel like i the way i picture it is never the way i look in it and it's so traumatic when you see yourself in like the super... Also, if they... It just... Laundry in your size

is literally pedophilic. I mean, that's like... They don't have common children sizes. I like the idea that like the garter like comes up to here on you. I have a proposition.

You put the crotchless part over your head. I have a proposition. I think that we should work through our lingerie trauma and we should have a lingerie episode okay okay so we bring our favorite well we bring what we would never a type of lingerie that we would never wear in the bedroom do we get it for each other no no no you will bring me like titless vaginalistipple covers. That's what I'll bring you.

Wait, can we also do a bathing suit day? Because I have real bathing suit trauma. Right. Can we do like a bathing suit episode? Can I get like 12 weeks before that? No, we don't get to just spring it on. I think that's the point. We just spring it on.

And we love the body we're in. Yes, we'll spring it on in 12 weeks. With a side bush, everything. You know what I will recommend, which I would do, is like high waist. I don't need any recommendations from you. High waist. High waist. High waist, you know, does not look good on me at all.

Oh, my God. I promise you guys. Because you're a Barbie doll. No, because you know how good. She's like, it covers my like sick, hard abs. Yeah, it's not good for me. It's not it makes me look even boxier than I am. Because if you know the the trend of like the really high cut bikini. Yeah. And but it's kind of low in the front. I will show you guys I will

prove it to you that it's not my best look. I look better with low, lower writing, even though I hate low ride stuff. I would my body looks better in lower right you look a little elongated right like yeah yeah i would kill to look better in low riding like i would have you look cute in low riding you have like you know you have you have like the belly like remember when brittany's spirit this is again creepy but this was the world when she did the first like hit me baby one more time and she had like the little bit of a belly yeah you have like that thank you i i have a little more but i will take the compliment graciously i mean you are When she did the first like hit me baby one more time and she had like the little bit of a belly. Yeah. You have like that. Thank you. I have a little more, but I will take the compliment graciously. I mean, you are wearing this high, but you also had to fold it over.

You're a confusing specimen. Thank you. It doesn't quite fit, but then it also is too big. We're talking about the skirt. They've figured it out. Okay. Wait. Okay.

Speaking of what Eric Griffin said to you, I have a question. Why? Wait, okay. Speaking of what Eric Griffin said to you, I have a question. Why, what is it with all of Bobby's friends basically secretly being in love with you? I watched you on Theo Vaughn's podcast. I love Theo Vaughn. I think he's hot as fuck. You do? Yes, I think his energy is hot.

I love that he just loves women. I feel that from him. But I want to know, is there, like, any – because, okay, if you didn't see it, Theo was, like, coming on to Kalilah Hardcore. He was like, can I be second in line after Bobby? And I was dying to ask you, like, because I feel like you're, like, kind of not really responding fully. Is there any worlds?

What's your- My deal with Theo? Yeah. I think that he's catching a vibe I'm not. And, but I love him so deeply. He's one of the few comics that I've built a relationship with over eight years. And you know, like there's a feeling of like familiar family

like even though he's from Louisiana and I'm from the Philippines, there's like a kindred spirit there that's undeniable. You both have some sort of like. No, we have. He has alligators. Right, big lizards. So he has alligators, but we have the real crocodiles,

the 25 footers that actually eat people. So he loses there. Theo lives in a creative made up world. Yes. What do you mean? He's always talking about someone flying around in a bubble or something. He's like, there was Timmy. Bubble Timmy when I was a kid.

He'd fly in a bubble. He did say something that was interesting, which is like, he has difficulty, like, speaking to women or feeling, like, comfortable around women. So I propose that he is our first male guest. Yes. Yeah. Because I think we're the perfect set of girls to sort of just get that those you know hash those feelings out we will pull it all out of him i want to and i just love him i have

such a deep love for him so i think he'd be perfect what if he like in his head is like editing this just to be like i love him he's perfect and that's how he falls asleep i guess like worst case scenario because i he posed that question you know i was like okay gun to my head you know which male comic um when he said shab i was like you do not understand they're so they don't understand they think they know what we want and they're not correct wait so he asked you what female comment what what male oh my god you're such a lesbian it really is real and i'm not making it up i'm not making it up you saw it there i'm not that's about 40 and slit that's what you say when it's a lesbian one what is it 40 and slit what does that mean i miss george andres is like english is my second

language what are you saying i did not understand that but now I do. Your brain is too much for this world. Okay, but so did he ask you what male comic you'd be into and what did you say? I said, I feel like I just put this poor guy out every episode, but it's Jamar Neighbors. That's my comedy crush. Wait, do you know what Jamar did? Jamar went to my jujitsu class, which by the way, I haven't been to jujitsu in a while. I don't know if you can tell by the bat wings. I haven't been in quite a while.

But Jamar, he went to my jujitsu class a day. I wasn't there. He went with this girl, Caroline, that goes. And he wore like spandex and he put a giant dildo in it and then just wrestled with all them and there's one black kid in the in the class but like he came in like i'm a black guy with a big black dick and so no one was going to be like excuse me black man can you get your hard boner on me but he just yeah he just had it the whole time why did he do that because he's a he's like the best kind of troll. Because he's a version of Bobby. I think that's

why like I'm into him. He seems like he'd have the Bobby antics. What? Just because like he would do whatever the fuck? Yeah. I've never this is how many podcasts have I said this on George? Poor Jamar. I'm sure at this point he feels the way I did in Theo's podcast. He's objectified.

Did you see what he posted after the first one? What did he post? He posted i'm never getting on tiger belly again yeah right bob you probably want to watch let's be real you know i've kissed jamar in a like i know in a in a like a short film that some random people were producing and this was like you know 11 years ago we were all open micers and he jamar walked me down the aisle and i will say he did improvise the kiss was it the ice cream aisle i don't know why there was an aisle but me too oh my god no jamar done no no it was completely fine but he like dipped me and then gave me a big smooch and i was like brian scolaro did that though it would be a different story that is inappropriate to bring up wait is there a story about brian

someone that wasn't as hot as jamar he's very hot but he's not as hot you would never know brian scolaro is more my type probably same with me too oh my god brian scolaro is gonna be so hard on your dms i need to remember that your dms are better be closed because he's coming if you and i i need to remember if you and i ever have sexual chemistry i need to take that as an insult you like i need to remember that anytime you look at me like a little longingly that's not a good thing for me i feel like if you um had a camera follow esther and i single hitting on men you'd be just sorely disappointed at our choices well they're probably very surprised right because

they don't they think you're fucking with them they're like you're not probably from her but from me i think i'm pretty approachable i think guys are like not with these new looks not with that pink shirt you wore the other day wait so i heard that we're celebrating something today i think george has something planned for us he doesn't want to just throw cinco de mayo at us he wants us to earn cinco de mayo okay well this is our special cinco de mayo episode okay so we're we're calling this game earn Your Sub-World. You know, we live in a world where a lot of appropriation is happening. Correct. And we're not talking about my earrings.

We're not talking about Annie's earrings. So instead of celebrating mindlessly, we're going to earn our right to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Together, we have to get them right. Together. Yes, we're a team. So we're a team. So we're a team. We're going to, as a team, answer questions George poses for us.

Alright, are we ready to earn our sombreros, guys? Yes. So question number one. Who is Vicente Fernandez? He is... Well, Vicente is like San Vicente. Is he something to do with that? No. No. The street? The famous street in West LA.

Any takers? He came up with Just for Men. He's the spokesman. He looks like an actor, like a businessman. He looks very prominent. He is. Very. He's a billionaire probably by now so esther businessman annie billionaire do you know who he is yes i do that's fucking chente

chente is a god from mexico chente is a vicente fernandez is a mexican american oh he's a mexican singer and he has like all like the, he's like the Frank Sinatra. And then, yeah, Burt Reynolds is playing him or is that a thing? Like in the one in the red, does that not look like it's Burt Reynolds playing him?

You know, there's a song by Vicente Fernandez that could have been a great name for our podcast, which is Mujeres Divinas, which is like divine women. Oh. All right, so we got one. Let's go with the divine women. Oh. All right.

So we got one. Let's go with the next one. Wait, hold on. That's one point for the team? Yeah. Okay, good. We're one for one, guys. Name three Mexican iconoclasts.

I thought iconoclast was like a motel. What's an iconoclast? Someone who is, for example, I'll give one. Frida Kahlo. Salma Hayek. I think she's an iconoclast, yes. Okay, that's two. We've got two from everybody else.

One, two, let's third. I have an answer. I have Hernan Cortez, Pancho Villa. That's four. Wait, do we need three or four? I always lose on At Midnight. Like I never, I'm bad on the spot. But At Midnight was pre-written.

Oh my God. The show's been canceled long enough. I think we can let the cat out of the bag. They have fucking writers. They come in, you get there two hours early. Everything's on a card in front of you. I still always lost. Because you didn't push the thing fast enough.

I was iconic. I would have. Okay, so for two for two? Okay, go ahead. Two for two. One more and I kind of clash. Let's... El Chapo? El Chapo.

Esther, point for you. You did it. He escaped jail through a hole in the thing and then rode out on a motorcycle, remember? He escaped Mexican prison. I mean, that is pretty... If you escape prison, I'm impressed. He escaped Mexican prison.

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of guilt-free cereal at magicspoon.com slash bathgirls and use the code bathgirls to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode. And thank you to our listeners for checking out Magic Spoon, supporting us and our sponsor. Who did the Mexicans fight on the 5th of May? The Chihuahuas.

That is Cinco de Mayo in Spanish. This one, I don't know. I don't know any stuff like this. Spanish. I got this. No, they fought the French. It's a Franco-Mexican war. The French.

The French, yes. Okay. Name three Mexican musicians. Okay, I got it. Number one, Mariachi Guy, number two, Mariachi Guy, and number three, Mariachi Guy. Who sings suavemente? Elvis Crespo. Oh my God, Esther.

That's Elvis Crespo. Doesn't she look like she could be in a little tele, even in this outfit, little Telemundo show? Is Gloria Estefan Mexican? Oh, she's Cuban. Oh. Okay, so Esther got one, Elvis Crespo. We call her Gina. I have Maná, and I'm gonna add Ana Gabriel. Is Gloria Estefan Mexican? Oh, she's Cuban. Oh. Okay, so Esther got one. Elvis Crespo.

I have Mana. And I'm going to add Ana Gabriel, who is like my icon. There's an easy one out here. Who are? There's an easy one out here. Name the song, George. Which one? You said there's an easy one.

Oh, Selena. Oh, Selena. Selena. Selena. Selena. No mez. No offense. Yes, yes. Selena. Selena. No mez. No offense. Yes, yes.

Selena's good. I think we won that one. Yes. We got points in that. Name five Mexican foods. Okay. Enchiladas. Quesadilla.

Tostada. Baja Chalupa. Just kidding. Tacos. Burritos. Nacho fries. Chicken fries. What? Birria. What's that? tacos burritos nacho fries birria chicken fries what

birria what's that oh Maddie Matheson just opened a birria place here in LA what's birria it's like a stew

but it's very very good and I'm gonna add sope I love sope there's also pozole pozole pozole

with the there's a tole too the chickpeas nachos bel grande doritos locos taco Pozole? Pozole. Pozole. With the chickpeas. Nachos Bel Grande. Doritos Locos Taco. The whole Taco Bell menu. You remember, right?

All right. We're doing great, guys. We just got two more questions. Mountain Dew Baja Blast. This is going to be the entire thing. It's just us listing food. Did you say Mountain Dew Baja Blast? All right. Two more.

What is the soup that's like a grain? It's kind of bluish. You put honey in it. You guys tell me in the comments. I think oatmeal. No, it's not like the soup that's like a grain, it's kind of bluish, you put honey in it? You guys tell me in the comments. I think oatmeal. Totally not. No, it's not like oatmeal. It's like a thin, like,

it's like a Mexican cream of wheat, or maybe it's Spanish. I used to make it when I was a bed in. That sounds good, though. An innkeeper at a bed and breakfast in Santa Fe. An innkeeper is the funniest word. But do you also understand that I was blackout drunk at seven in the morning, like making toys?

Will you move into my home and become the innkeeper? I got fired for a reason. I wasn't in. I was an outkeeper. And that reason is why I'm hiring you. Alright, we're good to go. I need to eat Mexican food the second that we wrap this

episode. And that, she does mean your pink taco. Get it out. Pull it out of the hallway. Alright, and this one will go in order, guys. Clock that, she does mean your pink taco. Get it out. Pull it out of the hallway. All right. And this one will go in order, guys. Clockwise, starting with Esther. Say one full sentence in Spanish. I'm going to say a sentence

that I'll add, then I will tell the history of behind it. Mas un poquito helado. And that is from when I worked at Johnny Rockets. And I would ask the guys in the back of the kitchen to give me a little more ice cream when he made my Oreo milkshake for me. And they would always tell me, this has a lot of calories, Esther. Be careful.

And I said, un poquito mas helado. Okay, one point. Good. Annie? I have a theory that the only thing you've ever done is worked at Johnny Rockets. I have a theory nothing else has ever happened in your life. There's been nothing else. Every story you have happened at Johnny Rockets, I'm pretty sure, even when you don't tell us.

Okay. Okay, so I have a little backstory for this too. No tango pinocha, solamente la verga. Chupame la verga. That's multiple. But it goes together, you know? It's like I couldn't pick one. I have no vagina.

Only a penis. Suck my penis. Or chupame la chile. Do you say that when guys guys like when they're like and i'm like chucho um i throw a rock at them yes no i that was in when i was in guatemala i used to have to do that but um no i say that you know i worked in kitchens. I, you know, I had a little hangout time. I had some beans and rice with a lot of the staff. You fucked?

Yeah, I did a little fucky fucky with the kitchen staffy staffy and a lot of Mexie Mexie restaurants. But you had an ex-boyfriend. Yes, my ex-boyfriend Mark, who named himself Darky Marky. He was my Mexican boyfriend. We got married on ecstasy what a party yeah we're kind of married we our friend was ordained and and married us when we were on are you married we didn't sign anything so i don't think i'm married but there was no signing but in god's eyes they are but yes and god's not going well in god's ojos uh we are tienes infecciones sexuales can i

guess what that is do you have an stv no oh i thought it was bend over and cough no cough is toast hold your huevos do you have a sexual infection yes esther esther knows how to say that in every language she learned learned it at Johnny Rockets. Did we win our sombrero? Did we fucking earn it or what? Well, I did take four years of Spanish, but I just, I can only, it's, you know. And speaking of cannolis.

We're hungry. She said she needed a taco immediately and the fact you didn't throw that at her makes me want Andres back. George, of course you're going to give me the mariachi hat. It's so cute. You're going to look, like, so adorable. This is, like, turning me on.

Wait, are you, are those fish earrings because Sea Spirits is killing all the fish? Or you're like, I'm pro fish murder. Speaking of which, Valentine Thomas' last post is so illuminating. Really? I think that you should check it out. Okay, I'm pro fish murder. Speaking of which, Valentine Thomas's last post is so illuminating. Really? I think that you should check it out. Okay, I will.

Someone read it out loud to me because you know I ain't reading. That sounded like a long caption. I have to say, I trust my friend Caroline has a company called FishWay where they sell tinned fish. Do you want to help her sell it not wearing that? No, only wearing this and there i trust like because i actually am talking to her and she knows all like it's all like local and the fish are treated well so i at least feel like that's a good start for me well that's not it the tinned fish is smaller fish like anchovy sardines and stuff like that it's it's uh tuna and rainbow trout oh

okay got it and i was gonna say like the best thing you can do what i'm told is um sardines like eat the small like bait fish does that make you nervous sardines are a little bit scary to me i love sardines why because they're boiled down bug looking the skin and the tail it's all they taste very good, though. Have you ever accidentally had one? No. How would I accidentally eat one? They're in salads?

Oh, wait. Yeah, anchovies. She never would have come across one. Do you like Caesar salads? Because the original recipe for Caesar salad has anchovies in the dressing. And they are, I will give you that they are disgusting. There's like a hairiness to them kind of feeling. Really?

But you like the taste? But I like them, yes. But the taste overrides the texture. Wow. My favorite meal is sticky white rice, boiled egg, and sardines. That's like the best. Were you in prison as a child? And this is like, that's the saddest.

That's a treat for me. That's a treat. Boiled, who calls it, what is a boiled egg?'s a treat for me that's a treat like i literally calls it what is a boiled egg like a hard boiled egg yeah it's not that's not how you say it no it is we should start just coming up with things that are very normal that's like against my like personal constitution like i was saying it i was like this would be so fun and bonding and i knew maybe someone wouldn't want to do. I can't. You know what? I hate when people are like, did you know that when I was little?

Oh, it's so annoying. And then you're like, really? And then they're like, just kidding. That pissed me off so much. I, okay. And it's how long they go with it too. It's so frustrating. I was dating this guy and it was like our first or second date.

And we went in his hot tub and he was like um he was like yeah i was in billy elliott when i was a kid i was on broadway and i was like and he's kind of like small so i was like and he can i think he can sing i don't know so i was like oh cool and then i was like oh that's awesome like that was that weird to like have to go to auditions and stuff and then he just waited waited so long. He was like, I just made that up. Like I'm the idiot that I. Then you feel stupid. Right. And now I'm dumb.

I'm sorry. I thought you were talented. I thought you might have been a talented young man. I know. I hate that quality in people. Just. And just like the hot tub was like had the purple lights. I'm like looking at him with the purple lights.

Really full. You're in a fucking purple light lit hot tub talking shit to me? Annie, you just spent 10 days with your family for the first time in a year and a half. It was so good. What happened? We all fucked. It was like, I miss their bodies. What was it like seeing your parents after so long?

It was incredible. So we went back. Todd came with me. We went, brought Rand in the plane. He barked from takeoff to landing. It was an exercise for me to just not give a fucking shit, what other people think, because there was nothing. It was a red eye.

It was in the middle of the night. I mean, it was absolute hell. And we had given him like two of these pills that Whitney's boyfriend had prescribed him but so then we get there it's like seven in the morning my parents come and pick us up so sweet little old people getting out of their bed they came picked us up it was like running it really was awkward like I definitely like went in deeper than my dad thought I was gonna like I really I came and I dipped him you really tongued him him down. I tongued him down. I mean, I was like for a joke.

Maybe I should because obviously I made Todd film it. But and then, yeah, I saw my mom. Went back to the house. And then we immediately took their car and we went to Jersey and hung out with Todd's parents for the first week was pretty much with Todd's parents. And we went to the Jersey. We went to the boardwalk. And the Jersey Shore. And I got you guys presents.

Oh, fun. Todd's family's amazing by the way asian mothers are like i want to figure out how to bottle that service and sell it because it was the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me what was it like we walked in we came in i took my my mom my mom and dad's car we go over there she cooked me pho my favorite i eat pho like every day it was the best pho I've ever had number one I eat it every day the best pho I've ever had the next day she made me this like porridge soup that she just made me every favorite food I have from scratch so delicious he kept trying to show me how to make it and I was like I will never show your son I'm not he's gonna be cooking and then

I realized like Todd's like completely just put on a whole thing to win me over his whole family's like Todd's not gonna cook for you I'm like he does and they're like I'm like oh god I have like another six months of him doing things for me right right he's just done wait can I interrupt I recently went to Dave's we say with Dave's parents And I have never felt so loved. We got there. His mom was like, so here's a bag of a bunch of old Happy Meal toys for you to go through. It's so sad that everyone knows that your only experience has been at Johnny Rockets. And so I got like all these old Happy Meal toys from Dave's mom. I was so happy.

It's like she was like, I knew I was saving them for some reason. I have a question for you guys. When you go to visit your spouse's parents, what's the sleeping arrangement? Oh, we had our own room. We slept in. And is it weird to. The living room? No, we slept in a room together.

In your old bedroom? Did you kiss? In my house. Yeah, we sleep in my old bedroom. Do you guys get kinky? No, no. Honestly, I didn't feel like i wanted to do that no that does not like not that's not appealing also when we went in as far as like presents and stuff his mom had like this care package for us with all this shit that was like like eye masks and like peanuts and beef jerky and like slipper like it was just so every genre

of thing and then a thing of candy which Todd was we brought his parents edibles that I then ate and Todd was tackling me like I was like don't let me eat any of the candy and then I he would turn around and I'd immediately be like shoving jelly beans. He was like just tackling me to the floor. And yeah. And then his aunt came over. They had like a late Easter because his dad had had COVID during their actual Easter. So that all the babies came over, his nieces and the whole family. And his aunt gave us a care package.

It was like so many. Wait, his aunt, his mom is Laotian, right? Yeah, she's Laotian. Nothing is better than Asianian hospitality unbelievable yeah in terms of being baby yes there's no culture that babies their babies more like when my mom comes over she's a little bit um you know she's she has sort of like a very like tough energy about her a little rock salt we're not gonna a little rock salt yeah but if i ask her like mom like can you brush my hair she will do it for two hours she will clean the whole house she just knows what to do it's just the most comforting i just get it in this way i never understood and it was just it was so nice and his mom kept like not only would

she make the food but she'd be like have more have more it would just be like placed in front of you i mean which it did get i started to be like listen bitch you're gonna need to back the fuck up okay i've gained about 15 pounds in 48 hours does she have an accent yeah she does does she call you aunt annie um i don't know i don't remember how she says my name you're too busy slurping it down i'm slurping i can only hear myself chewing when I'm around her. No, but she can't. She named Todd Todd, but she can't pronounce his name. She calls him Ta.

She's like, Ta, wash your pee-pee. She's like saying stuff like that. And I was like, I hung out with her the whole, like, for like five days straight. We were just having such a good time. Todd had work, so he was just kind of like editing in the corner, and I was just hanging out with his parents. And we just had the best time. And I was like, you are so annoying.

Like, I don't feel at all bad at how annoying I the best time. And I was like, you are so annoying. Like, I don't feel at all bad at how annoying I am with Todd. Like, I'm going to be more annoying. I can bust in the bathroom when he's taking a shit forever now. Like, there's no holds barred. Like, she has raised a boy that is – because you know how Todd just – his temperament is like, you could kind of, like, just do anything around him. Yeah.

You could just stay calm. Because she is that fully and i've said this to her face so and i mean this with love she's so annoying really what does she like what's but she's annoying and like it's always just being helpful like it's like i bought you these pants and i bought i got you these things and here are these clothes and yes i made you this food eat this eat that do that did you you could get out alone she works at a bank so she's like get a loan out like it's all did you do your I'm like, that's the twigger word. They don't say taxes around here.

It is tax season. A reminder to both of you. So you and Todd are like real. Yeah, we're real people. I mean, he's my assistant. We haven't made it a fish yet. We haven't kissed. But then we went to see my brother.

My brother just moved to New Jersey, my older brother. And we hung out with his sons. and his wife is allergic to dogs. So we brought my parents like old dogs crate so we could put him outside and then it was too cold. So we put him in the basement and immediately I felt so bad for my sister-in-law because she's genuinely allergic. Everyone went down to the basement and her two-year-old son just crawled right into the crate and just was locked in the crate and would just cry when we took him out he just loved being a dog just all in the dog fluff and stuff i did i liked that too it was really of course i liked being i was a dog named jacob when i was little i would bite people was that your name tag at johnny rockets

esther you um really took in the spirit of a dog. Yeah, I thought I was a dog. I met this dog named Jacob and I just fell in love with him. My favorite movie was- We finally have something in common. What was your favorite movie? 101 Dalmatians. And so I just was like, I'm a dog now. My name is Jacob. I like, many people pet me and I would bite people and then I would only eat out of bowls on the floor. And in fact, like my sister recently posted on Facebook last year, like, oh, everyone check out my sister's comedy special. And one of her friends wrote Jacob. Did you lift your leg to pee? What?

Did you pee outside? Did you go full, like, you know, Meisner or did you? I think I stayed peeing the normal way. Did you smell people's buttholes? Probably. Kalilah and Annie, guess what age Esther was when this happened? She was just finishing her second year at Johnny Rockets. I want to say four.

No, seven. I could call my mom and ask because I don't know. A little bit too old for sure. When did Jacob happen, Esther? Should, seven. I could call my mom and ask because I don't know. A little bit too old, for sure. When did Jacob happen, Esther? Should we call and ask? Yeah, call your mommy and ask. Mom? What?

Um, what age was I when I was Jacob the dog? You're on the podcast. I'm sure you had to be about four or five years old. And what did I do? You're sure it wasn't seven. You didn't like the milk buns. What did I do? You crawled around on all fours, licking people and barking.

And you lifted your leg to pee. Oh, you did? All right. Miss you. Miss you, too. Oh, you did? All right. Miss you. Miss you too. Bye, guys. Miss you. Bye.

Do you always call your mom because your dad doesn't always pick up? Yeah, I call the mom's phone. Yeah. My dad's phone is really old and he... It's a jitterbug. It's got two buttons. Calls 911 and one relative. Oh, my God.

Wait, so what's our present? Okay, so I got these at the Jersey Shore for you, and I decided to go full Jersey Shore. All right, I got, I had these made. I got you this. What does it say? Kalilah, free sitch, and it's the situation from the Jersey Shore. Situation, Mike, the situation is my least favorite guy. Good.

Then it worked. I loved probably Snooki. Yeah, Snooki's good. I mean, it honestly was like what fits on the shirt. Yeah. Because they were doing it. But I went to the actual place that they worked on the show. They worked at a t-shirt shop on the boardwalk.

Did you watch Jersey Shore? I will gladly wear that. So I will take the sitch. All right, that's for you. I got myself this one. It's Pauly D and it says, she's definitely a stage five clinger. I can't believe that's not mine.

No, no, no, yours is this one. I get to open it? Yeah, reveal it. It's Ronnie and it just says... Wow. Wow. I don't even know if these are the things they said or whatever. It was just...

Do we wear them now? It doesn't matter. Yeah, I want to wear mine now. And I will tell you, my parents were there. My parents came. Todd's mom made us prime rib and was just... My parents were so happy because they have not been out the whole... Wait, shut up.

Kalilah's changing. I don't want to look. You didn't want me to talk to distract people from the fact that you're on the show. What bra is that? It's a Danskin one. I love Danskin. That is the best. I think Kalilah and I have the same underwear if anyone's interested.

We do. Well, we also have that two-person underwear we're going to have to put on at some point. Oh, that's right.'re gonna have to put on at some point oh that's right we still have only fans okay so then we go to boston and i see my nieces and i surprised them in a way that is beyond what i could have imagined okay so my baby niece is about to turn five and then my my my first niece is about to turn nine okay they have a giant box because my brother got some like litter box so there's a giant box waiting so it was perfect human size so i think they're coming home from soccer practice so i think i'll just be in the box in the driveway and then dana's gonna send them out to go like move the box so and it's something that she'd

been complaining about because how big the litter box was so this has been in their their world so I think instead of like them being super terrified I'll give them a hint by wearing my leopard print jacket that they know I always wear and I'll have that like showing what if they like pulled out a gun and shot you it would have been I mean I'm gonna do this until they're 40 so i'm dead my last thing i pop out of is gonna be a casket like surprise i'm not dead yet um but so they what i didn't think was that they wouldn't associate me with the animal print but an actual animal so they come out of the car and they go i have this all filmed they go and they go to move the box and it's heavy and i pop out and my niece my baby niece she's so like fight or flight scared

like she was at a soccer practice and then she was in the fucking jungle book like she thought she was like i thought it was a tiger she thought an actual wild animal like an experience most children will never have in their lives like only a nightmare she thought an animal was lunging out to attack her but then she immediately realized it was me and they were so happy like mind blown and then i knew my parents were there too so i go and they didn't know about randy either so then they go in and there's another surprise of the dog so my niece again jumps like oh it's a dog and then they go in and my parents are hiding behind the curtains so then they see their their legs and they just went they like

hugged my parents everyone was crying it was like oh it was just so good it was so fun and then we were there for like four or five days when you're all your brothers both your brothers came to no my older brother and his wife and the boys had to stay in new jersey but we'll get together soon but it was just so fun it was like crazy and we had a birthday party because we No, my older brother and his wife and the boys had to stay in New Jersey, but we'll get together soon. But it was just so fun. It was like crazy. And we had a birthday party because we miss everyone's birthday parties. It was just my parents' excuse to eat a cake.

So it was just a giant cake. And we had a little smoke by the fire one night. Had a great time. It was a dream come true. Getting high with my dad and eating children's food while they're asleep is for their lunch the next day is like something I thought I'd never get to do again it was so fun I have a question do you feel like because there's so many children in the family already like because for me like I'm my dad's only child so there's no grandchildren so like there's a little bit of like pressure but I feel like he didn't want you that's true he actually has actively told me that he doesn't want grandchildren but i i'm curious in your situation i feel like i

wouldn't feel any pressure do you feel like oh it's taken care of yeah i definitely don't feel pressure at all because wow my older brother has two sons and my twin brother has two daughters it's like and your mom never asks you or wow my. My mom, same with my mom. She has never pressured me once. In fact, she's just like, don't have them. Are you serious? She's like, I love when moms get real and they're like, listen, it ruins it. Like it's fucking done.

Well, she knows me so well. She's like, I just know how you love. And that's just going to be something that's going to cause you a lot of like anxiety and pain. Even the fish just abandoned you like that. That was really. I know. But yeah, she never has never mentioned anything she's like you have dogs it's enough what about to your sister not at all my sister is not having children she's decided she's very firm about it and she feels real real good about it too yeah i don't feel good about that firm decision yet but i i could go either way. But I do think I'll probably have kids. Yeah, but that's nice that you don't feel any sort of pressure.

Yeah, no, thank God. And I was putting a lot of pressure on myself for a while. Remember I was having like a breakdown at the beginning of the pandemic because I was like, it's taking away like my time to make enough money to feel comfortable to have kids and stuff. I was like, just another year gone. My reproductive COVID stole the best years of my reproductive life. But look at what we did instead.

I know. We gave birth to a little baby, baby, baby podcast. Do you guys believe in demonic possessions? What? Esther, I will say this about you. For somebody who is afraid of crickets and things like that, who is afraid of crickets and things like that, you are the most fearless person I've ever met in regards to ghosts and serial killers.

Serial killers? Yeah, because when I asked, you remember? No, no, no, serial. She likes serial. When we wanted to go visit the LaBianca house, remember where the Charles Manson's cronies had killed the first family? I was terrified.

I was like, this isn't a good idea. I don't want to go there. I don't want anything to like jump into my being. Oh. And you were like, it's fine. Let's go. Well, when you say serial killers, it's like, oh, I don't think at the LaBianca house,

like we're all going to get stabbed. Like I just didn't think like I. Lightning doesn't strike twice like that i am not afraid of anything that is like to me i just call it fake like ghosts i don't believe in ghosts i don't believe in demons i don't believe in but in that regard you're so much tougher than i will ever be because if i've never admitted this out loud on a on a show before but i i cannot sleep in my own house alone i have never and will never. I will.

I refuse. I'll never. If Bobby goes out of town. You call Theo? Theo's like, I'm here, girl. Flies from Nashville. Takes the red eye.

He's like, I'm on the squizzy, squazzy over here. That's my Theo impression. But always, I call my mommy. I cannot sleep if, and if.

Because you feel like there's ghosts? Yes, and it's so weird because i'm an atheist but i believe in these like weird things that have just embedded into my mind is it cultural though i don't know is it cultural yeah well my sister believes in ghosts and in fact every time it comes up my dad and i we like laugh our asses off like she believes in ghosts like she's an idiot like i just am not scared of it i also grew up in

a house where both my grandparents died in that house and i always just felt like you do have that vibe though maybe there are in you and that's why you're this way i'm like you are there's a grandparent in you yes i'm like if there really are their spirits or ghosts are here like i'm their grandchild so i'm good like go i feel like ghosts like but your living grandparents don't like you so no they don't that's true there's this um there's this guy he's actually a he's from harvard he went to yale columbia and harvard but he's a psychiatrist that's like too much his name is richard his guy his name is richard gallagher and he smashes pumpkins and let me tell you when he smashes

a watermelon it's wild but he believes in demonic possessions and the church basically hires him to tell them whether it is a mental illness or a demonic possession he's able to and the reason he believes this is because he says I cannot explain certain things he's like i'm a practicing doctor and a physician he's like the certain things i can't explain is when all of a sudden someone speaks perfect latin and knows information that has never been told to them before about someone else in the room including myself okay i have to say that this guy is a genius because he's probably the first person to ever make money off the church.

Correct. So good for him. Yeah. I just, I put me in like the most haunted house. I will spend the night there by myself. Like I just don't, as long as there's like security,

you know, I'm not afraid of spirits or demons or anything like that. I don't believe. And I think that doctor is a quack that's ridiculous yeah and that's what uh people are like oh he's he's getting paid yeah dollars by the vatican or something it also but it just doesn't to me it's like what was the did you see the documentary it was like the amazing jonathan i think yes i've seen

it i really like that where he like debunked all of these fake psychics and stuff and there's a netflix show now too that's like something about spiritual stuff and ghosts and stuff and it is a really really ridiculous that takes me i don't even like a movie where it's i like movie a scary movie that's like feels like it's about real stuff it has to be something that i think could happen i don't i'm not scared of ghosts are you scared of ghosts you're not yeah no i'm so sick of every podcast i go on people like to have a ghost story i'm like are you fucking what are we in third grade i'm a fucking ghost and here i am like traumatized but you like killed chickens for breakfast like i don't know what you were up to over there well you have a you had a whole but it's it's i feel as though just around the bend

i'm gonna you know there's gonna be a face or something there i think it's it's i feel as though just around the bend i'm gonna you know there's gonna be a face or something there i think there's energy like i don't think we die like i think there's like energy that we all become and stuff so i think like there's that and i think all of our ancestors are inside us but it's just not i just am not i would really not want to be one of your ancestors trapped inside you i just i would really not like my be one of your ancestors trapped inside you. I just, I would really not want that. You're like my little Anne Frank in the attic. I just would not want to be that. Just like, what is she up to?

What, what I'm trying to. But they're like me, you have to understand. I feel like they're not. There's no way they're, they're like me. I'm them. No. I'm them. That grammar that hates you, it's because you're like her.

No, it's not. No. You're her. We're not just like all of our ancestors. We are. We're all the same thing. I think you can have some similarities, but you're not just like them. My sister and I are nothing alike. My mom and I have very little in common.

I'm exactly like my dad, but my grandma and I are so different. There's no way. Are you exactly like your mom? I'm a lot like my mom. What? It's crazy how annoying my family is. Like they're very, the attention they need from people working at Dunkin' Donuts is unmatched and it's never given. The attention is never given. My mom's like, we're going to give you a good rating, right? And I'm like, mom, you don't know how to rate this person by the way are you like your relatives i'm a lot like my dad um but hard to tell because he was also really old by the time i got such heart problems yeah physically um i'm absolutely nothing like my mother which is why there's it tends to be a little contentious except for the bra and the skin and also the fact that she likes to um she's a

fitness queen but i didn't i didn't want to be a fitness person that shit was just you know i had no choice growing up so that we have in common but she's she's the best i love her i love my mommy so much but i think we obviously are way more like one parent i mean i'm so much like my dad too we were just laughing my dad was killing he had so many good lines like we were in the car and my mom where this is like me was just calling all of our friends on speakerphone on this car ride todd was driving so tired and just had to it was the exact experience of me just like facetiming and calling people all day and my mom's just calling her friends i'm like hey we're on a car ride my here with scott annie's here todd annie's boyfriend's here say hi we gotta go see you later

and then she was like who should we call next my dad's like the police there's about to be a homicide like they're just like so many my dad was just like and i was like this is exactly where i get it it's like the same he just made me laugh so hard we just had such a good time wow that sounds so fun what i wanted to say the moral of the story of why i brought that up esther of like demonic possessions is because like like i think that from a distance all i'm saying is you can't judge a girl's distance does anyone else feel that every time someone says i love that song is that vanessa williams no it's bett midler when bett midler From a distance. Don't judge a girl by her lack of desire to eat crickets

because I genuinely think you're low-key the bravest person I've ever met. Just by virtue of having no fear in regards to ghosts and stuff. Thank you. You've never. Every time I talk about it, you're like, that's not real. Who cares? I'm crying about it. She did think the dead crickets were going to jump on her. That's true. I think the dead crickets were gonna jump on that's true i thought

the dead crickets were demonic i um i think it's because i was raised absolutely with no religion at all so that stuff is just not on the table for me i'm i'm envious though i'm so envious of the fun it must be to like feel the fear of ghosts and stuff it's not fun or like to believe in heaven sounds nice it does sound pretty sweet i'm like oh that's awesome but yeah you i'm surprised you don't like to skydive and stuff why don't you just scare yourself that's the same as being scared of ghosts it's just different type of adrenaline that is like so not i mean because i'm that's the thing is i'm really scared of a lot of stuff well if you believed you believed in heaven, would you want to? Because you'd be like, if I die.

Like growing up, all my cousins would always go like ice fishing and go on the ATV and stuff. And I would always stay back and sit with them. You on an ATV, you look like the little like bobblehead. I would like stay back and sit with my great grandma while everyone, all the cousins went and had fun. Then we could never have like an outdoors episode of ice fishing. Yes, we can. Esther will be hanging out.

I'm a grown up now. She's going to do the thing. We'll get you some nice. We got to get a really elderly woman to sit with you. I think that'd be so fun if we just go in our camos out into the wilderness. I would do that. You know, I'm desperate.

You'll hang. Can I be just clear? I'm desperate for a field trip. Okay. I'm ready for Vegas. I will even go to the outdoors. I want to go to Palm Springs. We'll just take her to like an outdoor mall.

We're like, we took you to the Grove. I want a field trip with this group. Do you remember when we went to the Grove and they were doing extra outside? Esther and I in the very beginning of our friendship, when we were little babies at the Comedy Store, we went to the Grove one day and it was mario lopez and maria menounos we're doing extra live out and we were trying to get maria menounos to talk to us so bad she had her dog with her and i said i like your dog and she's like thanks i loved her wait i know you read her book right you were obsessed with maria menounos maria menounos is awesome

she's like a real girl's girl, like gives good advice. She's smart and cool. I just love her. She just seems so indestructible. She also loves wrestling. She's like a girl's girl, but also like you can tell she's a mother. Yeah, she does it all. She does it all.

Her book is great. She taught me. My favorite thing I learned from her book was like you can just go to Target and buy like 25 white washcloths for like spend like eight dollars and then you roll them up in your bathroom and it feels like you're in a spa i love being fancy for cheap so i'm like thank you i thought you were gonna say and she taught you to tie dye oh my god she sucks she owes you everything no as i do miss your um bad tie dye your bad tie dye was so funny because it was so like it was just

being as bad tie-dye yes esther found a way to make everything like mud and period stain and when she go do you like this one that one's good she's like dave did it every time every time i was like that oh my god i i am so bad at tie-dye she does yellow it just looks like pee like it looks like the shirt was like crumpled up and someone peed on it. That's why I've outsourced it. And now a factory, a dye house does it because I'm so bad at it. Good vision, poor execution. Thank you.

That's me with everything. She's a delegator. I'm a dictator. But do you know that is actually like a skill of successful entrepreneurship is being able to delegate and being able to match your vision with people who you know can execute your vision.

So props to you, Esther. You are an entrepreneur for real. Thank you. Even if someone didn't want to work with you, you would keep them. Annie, bend over and spread your butt. It actually does look almost tie-dyed, my asshole. Because from brown to lighter color, it's really... We should do a Sleepover by esther episode so

we can get some i will bring you some when i get it's coming soon and also can we have an actual sleepover yeah yeah wait who's house i mean obviously it's not a motel esther and i are dying to get out of her own house why do you think she wants oh wait you guys i forgot to tell you when i came back from my trip we came back at night two days nights ago i come in there's more construction my apartment than has ever existed like we've had construction since the day covet started and it was way worse like the whole front of the building is just a bore like it looks like it got boarded up for the fucking riots and it was like and i know it wasn't all rights but right in my neighborhood it was 100% riots but so like it was completely boarded up and there was, they had dug up the street in front of it.

Like it was comical, but only in front of our building. And we're like, we got to get out of here. We like looked at each other as we're walking. We're like, this is it, we're done. So then I walk in and I get our mail and there's a letter from the IRS. And I'm like, oh no, oh no, it's going to be bad. And then I was like, don't be negative.

You're fine. Nothing's hard. That's my new mantra. Nothing's hard. I was then i was like don't be negative you're fine nothing's hard that's my new mantra nothing's hard i was like just open it and be positive and i opened it and it was an unclaimed tax return of six thousand dollars when deposited when checked out an apartment or moving to venice beach in two days you're moving yeah wait that's where we sleep over then yes yes oh then we can bring our rollerblades and maybe we can like rollerblade together on the boardwalk. Esther, this is my idea of Esther rollerblading. We're on rollerblades and she's just wearing the wrist guards.

You're moving in two days? Yes. It's so cute. It's like we picked the one bedroom because the sun is so nice. Like it's like perfectly lit. Lighting's everything. I would take a smaller well-lit place over a big really dark yeah i hate like poorly lit we get it when we know you don't need to say that's so funny because where i live there's so much sun and i'm always

like i look i literally look at my neighbors with trees blocking the sun for them and i'm like angry like i'm jealous i you and bobby this is what i wanted to talk to you guys about dwellers yeah you guys are basement dwellers. When I first met Bobby, he had aluminum foil in every single window to block out the sun. That's so crappy. And I was like, you know you have money. You could just get blackout curtains. He's like, what are those?

He's like, but I bought them in a blackout. But there was this experiment done in France where like 40 people went into this cave and live there with no clocks, no nothing. Basically, it's like they couldn't. It was a way to like see how people manage themselves, their emotions and what they did in a dark place with no indication of what time of day it was. And I was like, they should have gotten Bobby for this.

Or you now, Esther. Yeah. It's like your dream come true to just not know time and just live in a dark place. But there's bugs and stuff. Oh. But not knowing time sounds fun. I feel like you are bad at time. Is it hard when it's the arms?

No, Bobby can't read time either. Projecting. Projecting. Maybe I was, but you read them too. Wait, Bobby only wears digital watches because he doesn't know how to read time. I just feel like the only reason you, because you just had people tell you, you're like, can someone tell me what the time is? No, I can read time, you fuckhead.

Why did you look up like you were lying? Because I don't look at, I mean, we all have the time on our phone. Oh, here, here it is. 40 days in isolation. Look how happy they are. French people are weird. And you know what? Like two thirds of them said they wanted to stay in there longer.

They're also used to BO, so that wasn't a new part for them. They're like, we already smell this joint up i just can't imagine being stuck in a cape i could imagine if it was like my sister and i but would 40 people that i didn't know i mean and just one cave what about just me and theo oh i don't like that you're the theo no i she's he's kalilah and you're Theo. I think he has a funny energy. His energy is really cute. He's very not like a... That's why I love him. Yeah.

He's silly. He's nonsensical. There's not a part of him that's like that masculine intimidation. Exactly. He doesn't have that. He's just a sweetheart. Like, I just want to hold him. Yeah.

Don't... Again, he's going to be like, she wants to hold me? No, like cradle. Swaddle him. Swaddle him. Like, I want to swaddle Esther. That's the same energy. That's what I'm asking. Esther's like, wait, what do you mean? You don't create again he's gonna be like she wants to hold me no like cradle swaddle him like i want to swaddle esther that's the same energy what that's what esther's like wait what do you mean you don't have you ever just ever heard of those like um retreats where it's like a 10 day silent retreat yes i always wanted to do and i know i'd get kicked out i'd get kicked out

thought of you doing i can you imagine i would you're not allowed to make eye contact i want to go with you i bet you do try to distract me how. I want to go with you. I bet you do. Try to distract me, try to sabotage me. How many days do you think you'd last? I would do the whole thing because I like am competitive with myself like that, but I would hate it. But what do you do? Are there things to do? No, you do walking meditations.

They feed you. Journaling. Like lentils and stuff. Yeah. But you're not allowed to make eye contact. You're not allowed to write. Oh, you're not allowed to write either? So it's just like inward travel

ooh that's that's hard I really I was very much looking into it and then I just broke up with my boyfriend I was like

every time I'm like maybe I should do the silent retreat I'm like no I just need a breakup it's like also whenever I'm into tarot cards

it's like just break up with him he doesn't like you every time I'm into anything that's like ghost and stuff it's like because i'm about to get ghosted i will say that i feel like when we started the podcast we had a different

idea of what it was gonna be like we thought we were gonna i feel like get into more politically like hot buttony topics and fight which i still feel like we might but i don't feel like it's i feel like what you said the other day we're like half mukbang half mukbang half gangbang gangbang yeah i feel like we are weirdly more sexual and more foodie like than we thought we're more like it's like sweet and savory is what i feel like yeah we're less criminal than we thought yeah we're not we're just weird little beings we are not um we are not a slasher movie we just have a really strange friendship yes which is why i think now this is just my vote i think that we should have a name change and a rebrand really it's pre like merch so i think this would be right the merch is like the big

because people are demanding merch but that's like i feel like that's when it's official so we have to like get it right before people are repping it do you also remember when clayton was doing our hair to do our photo shoot and he was like it's too negative oh he hated the name yeah he hates the name what are our options guys guys? I know that... Well, let me throw it out there. Esther, you hated this one, but is Bitch Beach back on the table? I'm not a bitch.

It's so funny that I would say you're... Like, I maybe come off as the... But for real, you're the biggest bitch? No, I'm not. Like, well, we have... Can I have 30 seconds of more bloodbath for one moment? What? I'm just kidding well i it's not it the reason bitch beach can't happen but bitch beach was more like bitching like

it wasn't like we right and also i don't think i whores it's not like yeah three old whores three old whores might look a little cuter on my chest than bloodbath or old spermies i love i love um two words that i love together are blood honey because i think it's a little dark and sexy and mysterious i don't i don't think that we know what that is um what are what are some ideas you guys have honey bad blood bad blood i like bath friends. Isn't that crazy? What does that even mean? I don't know. It's what she calls her duckies. Your rubber duckies? Sleepover by Annie, Kalilah, and Esther? Yeah. Oh, my God.

She's like, buy my sleepover brand. The podcast. Like, naming the show was really hard. That's why I think we settled on something we didn't all love. Yeah. And Dave hated it, too. Oh, yeah. I don't remember. Or he was like, huh. I think he just on something we didn't all love. Yeah. And Dave hated it too. Oh, yeah.

I don't remember. Or he was like, I think he just hated us. Yeah. Well, we did have, what was the potato one? We had wild potato. Wild potatoes was an option. That's not happening. Wait, do you, does Bobby like bloodbath? Bobby loves bad blood.

He thought the whole time our show was called Bad Blood. He didn't realize it was bloodbath. He was like, how's Bad Blood going? I was like, it's not the name, but. I think there's some things we have to think about. Okay. We have to think about one, like what's gonna look pretty merch style,

but also like, what do we call our fans? Like we've never came up with a nickname and stuff like that. Yeah. The bad. Bloodheads. The bath, the bath heads. Esther's just very anti-blood i think i like

bath more than i like blood but that doesn't mean i'm against blood that means are you into wild potatoes no are you i loved i loved wild potatoes i was so sold on wild potatoes when we were talking about this a year ago we had been we were at our maybe 172 right of trying to find that was my our hail mary i was like fuck it it's wild potatoes do you want wild potatoes i want blood i want blood honey you like blood honey i like blood honey um well plenty to think about what do you guys think but i want to say i'm not surprised that this is where we are we taking suggestions yeah i think it could be something that our fans can probably you know they know us i feel like they usually know us better here's the one thing that it has to look good with it has to look good on merchandise it has to look cute it has to exude

a weird 70s vibe yes uh think um charles manson's uh those three girls that um those three little devils that did his work for him but like cute and devilish that's the thing right but um so we'll leave that up to you and then maybe we can come up with the best the 10 best ones and then we'll decide from there but we are officially are we officially rebranding that i think we're officially on the hunt for an awesome name. Right? I'm happy about this. No, I'm excited. Yeah.

I don't think any of us love the name to begin with. I loved it, but I don't find that it fits what we are. You loved it. And then immediately the first fan art. The first fan art we had was. The blood. Our blood. And it made me uncomfortable.

Well, also, I just remembered. She was like, I just don the blood and it made me uncomfortable well also i just remembered she was like i just don't like blood makes me uncomfortable and then literally like one second later you know what i take it back i like it because i'm used to it now but i'm remembering that when we all somewhat agreed on it then you guys like move forward forward with it and in my head i was like did we really agree like i was like i'm not a hundred percent sure but then like i got used to it but i was not get ready for that to happen again anyway guys blood honey george do you have a name that you like uh baby slugs baby slugs oh or just slugs sexy slugs because slugs is like very close to sluts too.

So that's fun. Slugs, sperm, I don't know. Let us know guys. She likes slugs. Guys, she likes slugs and sperms. But blood and honey bothers her. I don't know why. But I could be into it.

I could be. The only reason I like that is because it feels like the vibe the part of bloodbath that was the vibe I liked yeah I do like what it exudes yeah oh my god you guys her feet aren't touching the ground again it's so funny I like when people when we get up and people are like

she really is little I'm like it's this is how I feel every time I see Esther I've known her my half my life and every time I see her I'm shocked. So shall we? Shall we? Ride off into the sunset? We're going to ride off into the sunset nameless once again.

But I feel like this is a rebirth. And I feel like this is a great opportunity to really tap into who we are. Oh, we should call it afterbirth. Placenta. Placenta. Like the live song. So offended by that. I know. Oh, live song so offended by that i know i'm so offended by that i remember the video of that too do you remember the music video oh yeah and it just fell thank you so much for listening to whatever this was and whatever this shall be i've been esther this

is annie and that's kalilah and you guys you know we want you to subscribe, like this video, and put a comment down for the algorithm and tell us what you think we should name the show. Thank you for listening. See you guys next week. Just where you want to be. Yeah. Bye.

Bye. Bye.