Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - EPISODE 100 Nepo Baby Role Play

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors: Athletic Greens - Go to https://athleticgreens.com/tuesday to get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase.Native - Get 20% off your first order by going to https://nativedeo.com/trashtuesday or use promo code trashtuesday at checkout.Rocket Money - Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses by going to https://rocketmoney.com/trashtuesday Nutrafol - Go to https://nutrafol.com and enter the promo code TRASH to save fifteen dollars off your first month’s subscription plus free shipping on every order.Liquid Death - You can find liquid death on Amazon or at a retailer near you. Get 20% off your first Liquid Death apparel purchase available exclusively at https://liquiddeath.com/trash Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 It’s Our 100th Episode!8:06 Khalyla’s Hawaiian Dairy Queen Shirt & Esther’s Tank Top Message12:36 Reconnecting After Winter Break14:53 Esther’s 2023 Predictions 19:12 Annie’s Transformative Trip to Costa Rica 29:36 Senior Chair Exercising 31:10 Esther’s Yoga Sessions33:45 If We Were Nepo Babies40:10 Women Need More Sleep Than Men?45:02 Khalyla’s Issue With Erewhon46:20 Annie’s Crock Pot Stews53:37 Annie’s New Years Gig in Las Vegas56:57 Swapping Organs & Hot Girl Fecal Transplant1:00:45 We All Love Bingo & Annie’s Hot Hand Playing Slots in Vegas1:11:21 Presents From Pete for 100 Episodes1:14:39 The Buffets on Cruises & Going to a Steakhouse 1:19:27 Annie’s Rolfing Experience & Illegal Message Places1:26:43 Thank You to Our Slugs! Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 My Pleasure - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-pleasure/id1494518220 AnnieWood - https://www.youtube.com/annielederman Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Bryce Hallock

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what wait wait can we just break the fourth wall and say that we haven't seen each other in so long? I know I'm on the same page as you. When did we even film the one from last week? So long ago. It was back. I don't resonate with November. Also, I'm in shock too. I thought Klyla got back in late last night.

She's like, no, I've been here for three weeks. No, I've been here throughout this bomb cyclone. Oh, yeah. I've been here for three weeks. No, I've been here throughout this bomb cyclone. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I haven't missed any of the rain. Did anyone's roofs cave in? Oh, I'll tell you what happened.

Flood. Till three in the morning, trying to pour water out of our balcony because the balcony, upstairs balcony drains got clogged. So we had a swimming pool up there and then it was flooding into the downstairs area so um jules and i just till three in the morning like the old typhoon days in philippines no we did all the emergency plumbers were out so finally someone came in at eight in the morning and was like we'll save you i just woke up yesterday to dave being like oh my god and i was so mad because he always gets mad at me when I wake him up just being like,

hey, he's like, that's too much energy in the morning. And I'm like, you woke me up to screaming. I was so scared. He needs to surrender to you. This is kind of ridiculous. You guys have been together a decade. What's going on? There is no surrender.

He hates who you are. It's who you are. It's not like ways you act. It's like who you are. I know. It has been crazy. And you're getting like ways you act. It's like who you are. I know. It has been crazy. And you're getting worse. The things that he doesn't like are growing.

Also, during the winter break, he had COVID. What? It's backwards. Oh, it's backwards? Carlos! So it's O-O-1? I was like, oh. It looks like code.

It's like the Matrix. It's real. Carlos headbands with that bald head well i'm not trying to be on the cover of gq right now but weirdly you could be like this look is your best bet it's very avant-garde for sure wait what's cool oh my god wait what were you saying i was gonna say that so dave got covid um and then like he went home for Hanukkah and then he got COVID and then he came back. So there was like five to 10 days or whatever where we were living in the house together, but isolating.

And it was like the most fun I've had. It was so much fun to like wear my mask and like meet him outside and like sleep in separate rooms. It was just like. Oh, that's the tension. You're building tension. Yeah. Berner and her husband does have apartments next to each other.

Oh, Italian style. Yeah. It kind of keeps the sexual energy too. I mean, although to be, I think they live in the same one. And then they just have an extra one.

I think so. But that's like, um, Frida Kahlo and Diego, um, Diego Rivera. They would have that bridge that would connect their homes again. Still.

I don't want to hit this again because we've all heard it, but if Todd did, I would leave my vision anywhere. But he was cute the other day. Where was I? I was getting a massage. And he was, so it was like, my phone was off, you know? I wasn't reachable. And he's like, where are you?

Where are you? And I was like, oh my God, I'll be home soon. I was like, yeah, I'm all oiled up already. And he's like, just come home. Just come home. I get back. And he had got me my he got me the Air Max headphones. And so he had them there and he was just like excited because he's a spoiler.

So he can't wait that extra half hour how do you like them because i have to admit i've been all winter break like low-key eyeing those i love them 50 don't make it color it's to tell you how much they cost no they're nice um i got the black ones because i think those are the ones that were available but and he's scared to get me a different color carlos knows all the prices of all the tech gadgets like he has to memorize our next partner is athletic greens i take ag1 by athletic greens literally every day i gave ag1 a try because i wanted better gut health increased energy immune system support all of the things if you're looking for an easier way to take supplements athletic greens is giving you a free oneyear supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.

Go to athleticgreens.com slash Tuesday. That's athleticgreens.com slash Tuesday. Check it out. When it comes to personal hygiene, who has time to read that long list of ingredients on the back of the bottle? Definitely not me. Some ingredients I can't even pronounce. And if you are like us and you care about what goes on your body, then it's time to try Native personal care products like we did. Every Native product is thoughtfully formulated to keep you feeling and smelling fresh all day long. Feel and smell fresh this year with Native. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedeo.com slash trash Tuesday or use promo code trash Tuesday at checkout. That's native deo.com slash trash Tuesday or use promo code trash Tuesday at checkout for 20% off your first order.

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artists on limited edition drops from the, is it the Severed? Yeah. The candle hand that I have in my right in front of my TV. Such a sick collab they dropped with Martha Stewart. So cool. That was, I feel like candle hand that I have in my right in front of my TV. Such a sick collab they dropped with Martha Stewart. So cool. So awesome.

That was, I feel like, all of our favorites. You can find Liquid Death Mountain Water on Amazon or at a retailer near you. Trash Tuesday with Annie, Esther, and Kalilah listeners. Get 20% off their first Liquid Death apparel purchase available exclusively at liquiddeath.com slash trash. That's liquiddeath.com slash trash.'s liquiddeath.com slash trash hi slugs happy new year we're so excited to be back with a fresh year of absolute chaos and i'm back on the road i'm finally coming to florida you can see me in west palm beach february 10th and 11th and in miami april 21st and 22nd and check out my solo audio only podcast called my pleasure available wherever

you listen to podcasts this week i think we talked about the 90s it was fun what up sluggies so happy to be back i'm on the road as always so excited i'm coming to madison wisconsin january 27th and 28th i'll be in dania beach florida finally getting there february 3rd and 4th. Washington, D.C., February 24th and 25th. Seattle, Washington, March 10th and 11th. I'll be in Tampa, Florida, March 17th and 18th. And come join me on Annie Wood. I'm there every Thursday.

It comes out on YouTube. I do a special Morning Wood live chat with everybody at noon Pacific or noon Eastern and 9 a.m. Pacific. It's so fun. Come join me a whole another hour of annie a week i'll see you guys there wait esther back to this shirt i did think about you it's not the right size for me i'm not saying i'm giving it to you but i really really like honored you in that moment i was like i have to

buy this shirt because i feel like esther mightooge in her panties over it my mouth is watering my panties are soaked like it's so fucking perfect the colors the 90s aesthetic the fact that it's Dairy Queen linked with Hawaii so it's like my basic everyday life like combined with my fantasy world Hawaii is your fantasy world because you sucked it i don't want to bring it up again you're the worst person i've ever met there it was the most disgusting thing i've ever said you brought the rain you brought a typhoid there too typhoid typhoid fever is a is a yes she gave that to dave too that's a disease you get you guys gotta trust my brain the right things are coming out it's a it's a foodborne illness it's a look up typhoid mary what did i mean typhoon typhoon

but you know typhoons and typhoid come from very rampant in similar countries in the philippines typhoid is still a problem and so are typhoons so you're not far off but annie you are correct you're reminding me that hawai Hawaii is just a fantasy for me because the reality of it, I have terrible allergies there and I can't go. I feel like- I think we're still going to blame the allergies.

I don't think the allergies, I mean, I believe that the allergies were real, but there's not a chance you were going to have fun. Also- Not that you didn't have fun. I think you did have fun, but you had your fun,

which was sitting and watching the school shooting. That's not bad. Here's Typhoid fun. I think you did have fun, but you had your fun, which was sitting and watching the school shooting. That's not bad. Here's Typhoid Mary. I think she was, she infected like a hundred people. Are you serious? They found the person? With typhoid fever. Damn, she was a hoe.

Is this sexually transmitted? No, she was a cook. And she basically, with unwashed hands, gave everyone typhoid fever. And that's why I don't cook. You're just generous like that. That reminds me of when I used to play Settlers of Catan with my friends while I had shingles

and they would get mad at me for scratching my shingles. I'm like, it's not contagious like that. Don't worry. How did you look so young and act so like you died 100 years ago? It's a fine line and it's not easy. She passed away of old age 100 years ago it's a fine line and it's not easy she passed away of old age 100 years um wait what does your shirt say oh it says it's never too late to have a happy childhood oh is it happy or sad what do we think nothing's sad i mean well everything's sad no it's how did you feel when you bought it by the way is it for

a child it's the size sizes run smaller than i thought it's very tight is it a child's onesie and you just cut the crotch out actually i should say this if i have a baby this would fit them very nicely that's how i feel about i thought you were pregnant with some of your tweets recently really like which one like should i get pregnant or start a pinterest it was like she's pregnant no no i truly was i said that to um carlos i was like she's gotta be pregnant really what did he say he said nothing which i'm like oh that could mean she's pregnant no no i would you tell him before three months carlos i don't know no i gotta be a pre-90 day person yeah okay yeah last time and look what happened yeah look what you did everyone has cute nails and i do want to clarify these are so old look at her no we don't give herself cerebral palsy i like your color oh no

these are um homemade i don't get my nails done like you guys that's fine that's can i see yeah that's cute thanks it's kind of like i really thought it was gonna look like shit that's so funny i think i'm not like bloody and like cuticle they're very bisexual to me i'll just are they are these this color is bisexual yeah and that length are we carrying this through the new year wait i do wonder that about you because the gay baiting's going through i just it's that has nothing to do with anything other than so here's what i my assessment of you is you tend to you know desire um girlies right but then i i realized you always have coffin nails or really long sharp nails so you don't intend on fingering anyone you intend to be fingered she wants to chop them up and put them in a coffin esther's obsessed so you have no

intention of giving you are you want to receive as a lesbian um that's a really good question and i will cross that bridge when i get to it but i really just need i sometimes i switch it up and have short nails but this winter break I had like a weird Christmas and I really needed Lana Del Rey nails to like get me through what happened during your Christmas I just had like a kind of had no Christmas it was kind of like weird it was like you were Jewish almost I'm Jewish every day but you know that um wait so how was your guys's breaks like what the fuck is going on I miss you i haven't seen you guys in so long i know esther and i saw each other last two seconds she brought me on stage

and it was like i was almost annoyed that we were not annoyed no i had a wonderful experience but i was like because i wanted it to be this moment we like ran into each other here i totally agree i know but it was so fun it was cool and i even like, you put your stuff on the floor and then I was like standing behind you. I saw you pick it up. It was cute. I was like setting it on the stool for you. And also Annie does this thing whenever I bring her on stage at the comedy store. She always comes out before I introduce her.

So like whenever it's the end of my set, I'm always like a little scared and like shaking because I'm like, she's good. And then when I see her fear, I want to pounce's my it's the what's the opposite of kryptonite it's like like i must move towards it but i just came out started screaming but how was how was your break like i have no you were in like a different country how long were we i don't know when the last time i saw you guys literally i was so thrown off by the last episode i couldn't i was like what you couldn't place it i was like when was this what are we talking about mine was nice i was a gilbert got married in hawaii i spent my time there and then i got back just in time for the bomb cycle so todd was born after Kurt Cobain died? He was born in 1994. That's awesome.

Annie, high five. High five. We found a ring too. Oh, it's happening. Wait. Still pre-engaged. This brings me to something that I thought about in advance. Oh, I thought you were going to drop the

I got married. No, there was a tiny window where it was maybe going to happen because I was like, I like the year 2022, but then we couldn't we that was why literally yes um that's the only reason because we because it was like the 10 years but we didn't you're like either let me fuck a girl let's get married negotiations didn't okay so i have 2023 predictions for the trash tuesday crew for the three girls so i predict one annie is totally gonna get married before me i predict it i i think yeah that's an easy one my kalilah

prediction is i think that you're gonna get into some sort of like love tryst with a really famous athlete and he's gonna and he's gonna be so obsessed with you you know in the movie the craft when the guy has the spell and he's like too into her he's gonna be like that to you and you're kind of gonna be low-key about it like you're not really gonna tell us but we're all gonna be like what's going on is there something there i have a question about that yeah so if it's an athlete in their prime unless unless it's Tom Brady or someone who's really gone beyond their athletic years, who can it be that's my age? Is it going to be like a young guy? Your age.

Nobody knows their age. No. Okay. So I'm dating a younger athlete. Unless it's like Roger Federer. He could be any age. Okay. It could be DeMar Hamlin, the one that just woke up from the coma.

Right? Is that what he was in? He wasn't in a coma, but he was intubated. But he did die in front of all of us. Jesus Christ. I'm like, the day I decided to watch football, I'm like, I'm out. And then my prediction for me is that Dave and I are going to go to a strip club and it's going to lead to him having to have a serious talk with me afterwards.

I love that even in your like fantasy and predictions, there's a talk. No, these are not fantasy. These are actual things I believe. I really like this prediction. Is this athlete gonna, is it gonna end badly? Am I gonna be hurt like physically? No, I think you're gonna be in the power position

the whole time. And like he's, you're just, you're gonna change his world. And he's gonna like just always love you make you get a tattoo or something oh my god esther's gonna come in in a football uniform oh kidding it always circles back to something sick dave has to sit you down and be like why'd you dress up like this you embarrass me in front of the whole writers room it all goes down at your wedding the predictions all happen at once i have a lifelong prediction for you no one is ever gonna physically hurt you again you're done oh physically i don't think anyone's gonna physically or you're done the hurting part's done yeah i do you never know

it's over yeah especially if it's an athlete i'm'm a witch. Sexually, I don't think so. Oh, you mean like stretch it out? Oh, I thought you meant like fiscal abuse. Fiscal or physical? Physical. Oh, he said physical. I was like, I've been- I did? I know that's wrong.

Wait, let's talk fiscal abuse. Yeah, what is- I don't know what fiscal abuse is. I'm being fiscally abused and I love it. By yourself. No, I got an SM necklace. I don't know where it- I think I left it at my other studio, but a sugar mama necklace. Oh and I love it. By yourself. No, I got an SM necklace. I don't know where. I think I left it at my other studio, but a sugar mama necklace.

Oh, I like that. I fully walked into it. Also, the biggest mall in Asia is an SM. Oh, really? I think so. Yeah. They call it SM. What does that stand for?

I don't know. Supermarket. Supermarket. Super supermarket. Annie, you're my supermarket. Okay. That's so cute. Thank you.

Eat my ass like groceries. What's thank you um eat my ass like groceries yeah i'm really proud of us we've gone what 20 minutes and no talk of sex it is a new year indeed that was the booty like groceries oh no we talked about fingering yeah yeah shit why who cares 2023 for me i'm here's what i've learned and it's very basic and everyone already knows it but it's like people are gonna like you people are gonna love you people are gonna hate you i'm the only way that i can't fail is if i'm just true to who i am and that's that and i think that's like the us three that's such a thing that we have in common is we are all so specifically ourselves and we can't help it. It's your fault. Yeah.

But I think it's okay. No, it's not a fault. There's no faults. What did you learn? I learned something really important. ABCs? I learned – no. I still have to sing the whole thing.

I have to sing the song. I can't like jump. I don't remember what our next – I don't the neighbors did you learn multiplication and division no i learned that it's never too late to have a happy childhood the perfect roast thank you oh i went on a i went to costa rica i did a breathwork trip there. What? Yeah. It was really fun. It was really cool. I didn't like explore Costa Rica at all.

I went to Costa Rica when I was 17. When you went on that long Central America tour. Yeah, I went on my Central America trip. And then that was when I had my first beef with sea turtles. Right, vaginas. But so this was my first time going back. It was really, it was cool. Did you take Todd with you? with sea turtles. Right, vaginas. So this was my first time going back. It was really, it was cool. Did you take Todd with you?

No, Todd isn't into any of my hippie shit. He doesn't like my ayahuasca. You went by yourself? Yeah, I went by myself, but I went with, I have my like breathwork shaman and there was a group of people and it was, I have so many shamans, but it was really cool. I got to like really, I was like very much like

tripping out doing breath work, like ayahuasca level. Did you do ayahuasca there? No, I just did breath work. Did you do any drugs? No, no drugs, only breath work. And it was so awesome. And it really reset me.

And it kind of is like in a line with what you were saying, where it's just like really not giving a shit. I kind of like stepped into my Zeus-ness like my authority my like feeling of self-trust and stuff like that but anyway but so that was really good and then I'm going to do ayahuasca again next week where I'm going to uh Florida to do it oh nice I just have a traveling shop and I go wherever he is wait I'm so proud of you that you went and you went to Costa Rica without Todd I know I was really nervous about it because I'm so proud of you that you went and you went to costa rica without todd i know i was really nervous about it because i'm so used to being like driven and care my stuff but isn't it such

a great feeling that's similar to how i felt when i traveled to asia recently by myself it like i've always like i need somebody i need some comfort person i need some security blanket god it's such a great feeling to be like holy shit because it is the self-trust that I think I'm missing a lot. Where it's like, we are so self-reliable. And you kind of forget that you are because you do like, you know, we cohabitate with people. We have deep friendships with people. But it's like, no, like you're strong alone too. And also it's like, I feel like when you travel alone for me at least i was kind of

nervous i was like oh my god i was like worrying about like am i gonna get robbed all these things and then i was like i don't want to even think about that stuff like i don't want to go in unprepared or like you know going too loose to another country but i also was like i don't want to i just want to trust that everything's gonna work work out. I've never not been robbed. Yeah. When I travel. No, I've never not been robbed. I've always been robbed. And one of the times I got robbed, I was skinny dipping with a boy in the ocean and they took everything, including including my clothes. So they even took the boy.

And we had to I had to walk back. I had to steal towels from one that was like hanging on. Now that person's like I was. Yeah. So I had to steal towels from one that was like hanging on now that person's like I was yeah so I had to rob um and then I had to walk with a towel back to my hotel how many people do you think had been skinny dipped down the line and had to steal clothes I know so you guys basically take AG1 every day right I took it this morning I've been taking all my supplements but I take take my athletic greens. It's the easiest thing to take. It tastes so good. I put it in nice cold water before I go on my walk.

I love that they have travel packs because for me, I like to bring it on the road and just know I have that to keep me. And it's easy because it's one thing, right? I'm not bringing a bunch of shit. I just have my athletic greens, and I know'm like meeting my daily nutritional needs that way i'm in all my different suitcases and you can add them to smoothies the way i drink it is i use my mochester and i add a little bit of acv in it oh it's so good and uh that's it i'm covered for the day i don't have to worry about whether or not i'm getting my greens later on that day i just

feel like i love it i just i've gotten almost addicted to the taste of it. It's really like this weird sweetness and it's just, I don't know, it's good. It's really mild tasting. And AG1 has been a part of millions of mornings since 2010, which is kind of iconic. And every scoop is packed with 75 vitamins, minerals, and whole food source ingredients of the highest quality

that give me major benefits like gut, mood support, boosted energy, and even healthier looking skin, hair, and nails. If you're looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com slash Tuesday. That's athleticgreens.com slash Tuesday. Check it out. You guys, it's that time of year again slash Tuesday. Check it out. You guys, it's that time of year again to reassess our personal hygiene. You guys, you know Native for their aluminum-free deodorant and Native keeps their ingredients list bare naked with ingredients that you actually understand, like coconut oil, shea butter, and baking soda. I do think it's so amazing because it took two

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I love the lavender and rose those are my two go-tos and i'm an armpit sweater i know annie you are too and i it's not that i i don't want to stop sweating i just want to stop smelling and native really really does a job for me i love that they're always dropping limited edition flavors they have like a collection of gummy bears strawberry and vanilla taffy sour berry belt is my personal favorite. You guys feel and smell fresh this year with Native. Get 20% off your first order by going to nativedo.com slash trash Tuesday or use promo code trash Tuesday at checkout. That's nativedo.com slash trash Tuesday or use promo code trash Tuesday at checkout for 20% off your first

order. And what I also love about them is they check a lot of boxes, 72 hour odor protection, naturally derived ingredients, goes on smooth, residue free. Like it's just a great product. I also really want to just call you out on something. There's no way your favorite is incoming bears. Nice try. Sour berry belts. after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan i thought where's the catch but after talking to them it all made sense there isn't one mint mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail

stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's

largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month go to mintmobile.com slash tuesday that's mintmobile.com slash tuesday cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash tuesday 45 up front payment required equivalent to 15 a month new customers on first three-month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees,

and restrictions apply. Statement mobile for details. Are you a skinny dipper usually? No, because I don't like the way my tits fall when I stand. In the water? Just when I'm like this. I like the way my boobs look. When you're standing regular?

Yeah. Because the water, they kind of... In the water, it's great. The water, it always looks great. So maybe I'll do this and then in the water, I let my boobs fall.

My boobs are a little bit more separated. I have... My boobs are wide set. Mine are wide set too. So, okay. So we did breathwork in a river.

We did breathwork in a river like with snorkels and we had partners. With snorkels? With snorkels and we we had partners with snorkels with snorkels like down in the water but I had a whole rebirthing it was so crazy I flipped my ass around I'm no longer breech it's never too late to come out the right way but it was crazy I just learned a lot about how your the way you're born really will affect you and it sounds like so stupid but it really makes sense and it all kind of fell in line

You know, I was in this incubator I was just I felt I got to this like root of feeling Where I had this like shame inside me that I didn't realize I just had this shame And there was one point where we're like sitting around a fire and I was just started crying so hard And I released the shame and then this lady just fucking hugged me It was like so nice It made me feel better. And she was kind of like not a mean lady, but like a bitch like in a fun way.

So it was like very exciting that it was her hugging me. I was like, ooh, the hard to get bitch hugging me. And then just like all this stuff with my mom and just like it just helped me release a lot of stuff. It was really cool. But when we're in the river, so you sit and like help someone while they're breathing and then they help you and so no one drowns or floats down the river and the current was like i was kind of like kicking around this is crazy i know but what i was gonna say is while i was sitting and holding these people we're all like pretty white looking i don't think anyone wasn't white looking uh and then people just like walk by and they're like people like working on the river they were like doing something on the river so there's like workmen there like looking i was like

they must be like these fucking white people coming into our fucking country and doing breath work in our hot spring it was a hot spring but it was pretty funny and then you would just see people go to like like couples like other tourists come to like want to sit in the hot spring and then they'd see us and be like and i'm like you don't want a part of this were you in like a raft no you're just like in the the water yeah i kind of want to take you um diving now because so much of diving like is really all it's all breath work i'm in bed i've been wanting this all breath work i don't want to get on this heartbreak again but we can start in the pool first like just 10 feet and we can just submerge and then stay in the bottom and you learn to hold your breath um and then you learn to breathe up

breathing up is just as important as holding your breath but it is so releasing it is so like meditative because your force you cannot think of anything but your breath like you just cannot you physically you can't sit there and be like gee i wonder there's no g i wonder you're so focused just on the air in your lungs and it takes you out of any worries or concerns above the waterline yeah no i would love to do that because i like land breath work is fun too i was doing it today i did a like an led light bed and i did this 44 breaths that my shaman made i can put the link somewhere it's online but um it's just really cool just like it's a quick breath work it's 15 minutes but it's he leads you through our meditation it's about a half an hour but it's just you do like seven deep breaths then you do two sets of seven medium breaths and then you

do three sets of seven fast breaths and then you do this part where you breathe in hold your air breathe out breathe in and then you exit all your air out and you don't you just stay in the exhale and that is like my favorite thing so you really feel like that works for you yes it in the exhale and that is like my favorite thing. So you really feel like that works for you. Yes, it's the best. Wow. It's so cool. And now I'm going to do ayahuasca to be like, see what else is going on.

But I feel so like zen and good. I'm doing a bunch of things. I'm getting rolfing, which I went to my first session of that, which I recommend for you. Probably for you if your neck injury is real or not I can't tell oh wait actually before we talk about this I have a new exercise that I want to pitch to you I just found out about I think it's the perfect Esther exercise okay it's called senior chair exercise I love it my dad was like your mother and I did a half an hour of senior chair

exercises I go tell me more and then i was here but i love the idea of that can you look up a video of it i already can picture it it's great it's a fit the instructor's name is esther go to like the middle let's see what it's like a young cool guy okay there's one oh this is it hurts like you laugh but is like, everyone should do this every day. This is good stuff. I have seen your shoulders. This is the one thing I can't do. Wait, I can, I can, I can. But this one is a little bit,

we're not fully healed. I have frozen shoulder on my left. Oh God. Is it Elsa or Anna? He has shoulders and legs. That actually feels so good. What if we find out this is our thing? Are you kidding?

I've been walking. I've been trying to do 10,000 steps, so that's usually like an hour and a half. I have so much foam all over your guys' breath success because one, mine is obviously bad, but that's unrelated. I'm talking about because of your facial structure, we we can tell um you're a mouth breather wait i just learned that your face structure changes according to how you mouth we all saw the tiktok i know it's humiliating i've known about mewing for quite a while guys but i've been doing yoga and i've been having like such great success with it but

the breathing is still where i'm like very behind i think that's the hardest part though like to to um kind of match your breath with your movement is still the hardest part of yoga for me okay because i'm panting fully i'm exhausted especially if it's a more active yoga and i'm like no i'm not gonna i'm not gonna inhale and exhale according to when they tell me because i'm just you're trying to get you know what though this is why this is hard for you because you probably do just need to do a lower level one but you're like uh you're hardcore no i can't breathe through my nose so in yoga um i have to mouth breathe because i have nasal collapse so i have i have to actively mouth. So I sound like a fucking dog.

They can't do anything for your nasal collapse? They have to graft something and like fix it. Because they would have to like rebuild it kind of. But apparently it happens to a lot of women as they get older and your hormone changes. Like it changes the shape of this and it narrows it or it's something like that. Oh, you have old lady nose?

Yeah. Lucky. Esther, don't worry. You have it too. So tell us more about yoga. What kind are you doing? I don't know what it is. I just have been trying to be really consistent with it.

And I noticed, though, that the one thing that I'm not progressing at is like any kind of pairing the breathing with the movements because I'm so focused on the movements that like. And it's funny. I bet once that clicks, I'll be like, oh, oh this was so much easier how long have you been doing it um I do it like once a week probably for the last like six months or something oh consistently once a week yeah is that not is that it's just very it was more ester than I thought I was like okay I'm very proud are you doing it all progress no I go you go to a class yeah um and it's just regular not because i'm quitting hot yoga i'm never going it's not hot no yeah i i'm not i'm not into hot yoga i want to generate my own heat yeah i don't need to rely on i know esther's having a little hot yoga in her pants

you guys you know that it's our 100th episode it's our 100 episode that's right it's like congrats congrat congrats is that that's more congratulations to carlos that's a hundred thousand one hundred right it is no it's a hundred what is that number that's two one hundred why are there two of them just to be fun fuck it's just two one hundreds what the fuck carlos first fight of the year. Oh, God. He's throwing stuff at us again. Here, I'll wear it. Donut went to it. Did we get that on film when he was pelting us with things? We did.

Okay. I just want it for the records. So since we've last convened, there was like a huge, I feel like something that took over the internet was this big article about nepo babies and we like haven't gotten a chance to talk about it and i'm just curious like if each of us were a nepo baby who would our parents be who would it be and i have i think i already think that you would be britney spears's cousin because i've been out wearing hugs i feel i would have been a nepo baby of someone in the art world because that's sort of i frida because of that unibrow i kind of almost i'm kind of a nepo baby like i grew up to like an

extremely rich father who's like generational wealth on his side and they're all artists wealth from um from um hotels some textile oh my god she's Paris Hilton's cousin um but um yeah they're just like old money yeah if my dad didn't lose his shit it would have kind of been like a a trust fund baby um I think to be a nepo baby it's more like famous Hollywood yeah okay I was thinking you might be like billy bob thornton's kid from like a first random oh the bastard child yeah oh yeah tyler of billy bob thornton wait what is that about because live tyler steven tyler's daughter yeah and she would be like because she's like yeah but the live live tyler didn't grow up with steven tyler as right yeah so you would be like

billy bob's like your dad and your mom's mom. It's kind of like Rob Schneider and and Elking. Elking. Right. Right. Your mom would be a model. Yeah.

You would have been raised by her. Yeah. And then Esther your mom wouldn't have been a model. I already know I already know mine. Yours is Dave Grohl right? Is that too hacky because we already know

there's another one let's be real I would be Paul Giamatti's daughter okay we all know the one he banged like before what's her name Sideways

oh Sandra Oh no no no oh wait no that's sorry you didn't bang her that was the other guy who's the woman in Nell oh lord you always bring this movie Who's the woman in Nell? Oh, Lord.

You always bring this movie up. Before, because you're Nell. It's so funny how you're Nell. In what movie? It's Jodie Foster before she was gay. Oh, I'll take that. You would be her pre-lesbian. Okay. Before she came out, when she was still trying.

Who would your parents be? Anna Nicole Smith, no. So cool, Like, I would. Anna Nicole Smith. No. So cool, though. Somebody called me Anna Nicole Smith last night because I was talking about how we had to buy a tatted jacket, but it was on sale and how upset I was. Like, Anna Nicole Smith would never buy a sale jacket. I could see you in the Anna Nicole Smith family. Like a trailer-y, like trailer to.

Vicky Lynn. Is that what that was her real name like vicky lynn hogan oh you could be a hogan yes i actually feel like hulk hogan weirdly looks like my dad yeah i take that one yeah i think you are a brooke hogan yes yeah okay okay and that doesn't she seem like a cousin of britney spears yes okay yes okay we got there by the way i just have to shout this out because we're talking about hulk hogan but like a core memory for me that will never leave my life is when the hulk hogan sex tape leaked and it is him like him uh having sex with this woman and he's just talking while having sex he's talking about how he's so full and how he ate so much.

Did you relate to that? Me and Dave talk about the Hulk Hogan sex tape like so frequently. It's such a big part of our life. Maybe you should take the sound and make a sex tape. Thank you. Well, Gawker, like he took Gawker down with that. So I'm like scared to even talk about it. Do you think he was more embarrassed about what he was saying or the performance itself i have to say that like whining about how full you are during sex is not something you want like what was he saying esther tell us

bia you know you do this with dave do your role play do you guys use it and no it's just like whenever we eat too much we're like i'm so. And then we think about it because he's like, oh, I'm so full. That's it. It's really just that simple. And that's how, you know, it's magical because it's so hot to the fuck when you're full and then you can use your gird as lube. It's great. It's fucking puking a little bit.

Oh, I really cannot feel horny when my blood is shunting to my vital digestive organs shunting yeah because when you eat like the blood leaves your periphery and it goes all in a lot of it most of it goes into your gut because the gut is working to digest your food so it's like there's no blood going to my pussy when it's all going to my stomach oh but also when i'm hungry too i don't want to fuck either you have to be the right i have to be satiated i don't like to be hungry oh but also when i'm hungry too i don't want to fuck either you have to be the right i have to be satiated i don't like to be hungry oh i did that's a word isn't it satiated but i said it cute yeah yeah you did i'm standing by that i liked it i liked it i i'm sorry i'm not talking about what was the word shunted shunting donunted. Shunting. Don't shunt me.

Don't shunt the way I said that. I was called a shunt as a little kid. And let's just say I'm saying it a different way than I usually said. I think that's why you also feel cold after you eat. Like I always kind of shiver after I eat a huge meal because your blood is leaving your periphery. Is that not true? Am I making this up or did I learn the wrong kind of science? No one here thinks it's not true. I don't know. Carlos is leaving your periphery. Is that not true? Am I making this up or did I learn

the wrong kind of science? No one here thinks it's not true. I don't know, Carlos is on Netflix right now. Carlos is watching a fucking movie. We can see him watching Netflix. Can someone enlighten me please? Cause that's always how I imagined it worked. Also let's look up the definition of shunt.

It can be multiple things. You can have a shunt that a lot of kids with fluid in their brain, they have a shunt that goes straight to their stomach. So, yeah, there's shunting. Oh, shunt is like a, okay. It's like if you have hydrocephalus, right? Yeah. Hydrocephalus.

I'm sorry. Did someone learn a word? That's right. I know words. Did someone learn one word? She's up to date with her medical anxieties. I'm a doctor now, legally. I used to think that.

I'm like, I used to ask my mom, I'm like, do I have hydrocephalus or is my head just naturally fucking huge? That's for big headies? Big headies. Big heady babies. That could be all of us. um how do you guys feel about that um study that um proves that women need a lot more sleep than men at night i think it's like not eight hours for women they say like 10 hours is what helps us regulate our hormones good then get the fuck up and make me some money

isn't that so sweet it's it's such a relief for me i've always felt that i always like look at guys who are such like up and at them in the morning they just like get up and go more so than me like i have very low battery um when i sleep anything under like less than eight hours and i'm like wait are you sure eight hours is enough because 10 feels right i wish i had that because i fucking bust up i've been trying to like force myself to sleep that is something about you i've always noticed is like especially in the pandemic i could be talking to you super late at night and literally then like 7 a.m you facetime me i'm like barely awake and you're like hey what's up i just got my coffee like you i'm like i'm still eating

popcorn where does it come from are you still like that i am still like that i'm trying to like make myself sleep because i don't want to burn out you know but do you feel like you sleep deep though the quality of your sleep is good um i think if i tape my mouth shut i do sleep deep but i fucking it's really hard to tape your mouth shut if i tape my mouth shut i'm sleeping forever like there's no i oh you die because of your nose i'm gonna wake up dead because of your old lady nose yeah how many hours do you sleep i found that like i'm very consistently like i'm awesome after eight and and i can't do any a minute over eight and anything less than eight i'm like a little bit weird what about on your period i think it's the same my period really only affects me with like

that for day one of like crazy crazy pain where i'm like just completely fucked over i need like vicodin or something if i have to do like oh she's a drug girl now that's right so i actually don't even know what vicodin is i'm just assuming it's the same thing as hydrocodone i feel like you'd hate vicodin because it'll just not make you shit well yeah constipation makes you itchy too yeah itchy i can doesn't work for me for like pain management i always think just like um tylenol with codeine works better like t3 i um was talking to my dad today i facetimed with him and right before i came to the show and he was like i just got my parents are getting every vaccine it's so crazy i'm like what are these vaccines they got they have to get

their shingles one yeah so they got their shingles one and my dad's like your mom's feeling fine i have a uh fever of 102 or something like what and he's like chat chat chat chat chat and then he's like takes me downstairs he's making jokes with my mom And he's like, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat. And then he's like, takes me downstairs. He's making jokes with my mom. And he's like, I better get ice cream. Like he's being like so funny and crazy. And I'm like, dad, you're acting like really well for someone with a fever. And he goes, yeah, well, you know, I start chatting

and I just like come to life. And it's like, we're just exactly the same. We're just so social. That's if we start like talking, we're fine. That's so cool. He's like, when I'm not on the, he said, when he wasn't on the phone with me, he was feeling like bad and down like cute i wish i was i had consistency like that because then people know

what to expect out of me because sometimes i'm just like energized and i can do a lot and then other times i'm like nope yeah like coma hibernation and very like i don't have that same i think that's just bipolar yeah maybe what um so you're bipolar too you said um yeah that was the last diagnosis i got when i was like much much younger does it resonate with you um it does like the depression part does i don't have um mania like that but i definitely have the depression and i can i i feel like i have no mania i just have normal times and then depressive times so i guess that's where the polls you're waiting for your kanye i really do it's like give me some mania i want to feel

i'm i'm i match people's mania moments i want to be manic i could i could use a little mania yeah i feel like i had this friend in college who got diagnosed bipolar and she never acted bipolar and then when she got the diagnosis she started being so bipolar and i always wonder if that was like she got like permission to stop having to act away oh maybe or if she just fucking leaned in i don't know or if she just i just didn't notice those things before our first banana break of 2023 i know any thoughts on like how unripe the bananas are how like we fucking air one just eat it oh my god what i hate i'm so sorry i have a bone to pick with erwan i'm doing a double banana cheeks again no keep going keep it in your mouth i'm sorry i do realize but like erwan is a fucking scam you guys of course but beyond that it's like if you're going to they have some good smoothies soups are

passable but this one soup they had which is they're just chicken and vegetables the most tasteless most bland like it's like they just don't know that salt or spices exist it's my favorite when i get it delivered to my house i like the split pea soup i like all their soups and i like their smoothies are okay but i do end up there's for 35 for just a jar this big I don't think it's 35 it is my money yeah this is like my new thing with air one is I go there I like I think I was talking about this on stage last night but like I go there to be degraded I'm like charge me more humiliate me with your prices like it's part of the experience to just feel like a little piece of shit. When I was living in my car, I was drinking like glass Erolon water.

Do you have the membership? Yeah. Yeah. I don't. And they always like look at me in a really judgy way. Well, they should. Yeah, because you're trash. Fucking bitch.

I'm talking shit on our soup. You're not one of us. You know what? I'm going to buy the soup for you and you're gonna eat it in front of me i'll fucking slurp that whole thing down i love that soup i made um i made two crockpot stews you guys you cook easy with the crock but i decided to i'm not eating out anymore because i was just getting so fat i mean not fat to the world but fat to me but crock pocket bad as i've ever been i know mean, not fat to the world, but fat to me. But crock pocket.

Fat as I've ever been. I know it's not fat to you guys. Fucking obese to me. Wait, Annie, I can relate to that. I think right now, and I'm not hating on myself at all, but this is the heaviest that I've ever been in a really long time. But I mean, I'm not like tripping out on it,

but the crock pot is the perfect solution for you because you can set and forget. Anything. Just chopped up. And I feel so accomplished i made this whole fucking stew and then the stew gets better the more it's in the freezer and in the fridge and i'm just making sure that i eat the whole thing like usually todd and i will like have these moments of like we're gonna make crockpot stuff and then we eat one serving

then never have it again i'm finishing the stews i'm enjoying I'm using the new map give us a fucking sponsorship link us with a recipe this sounds good the recipe is just I get a bunch of vegetables I feel like putting in I put garlic cloves in I put salt and chicken stock and I get chicken thighs and I throw them in

and then later in the day you have you know a meal for the next whatever yeah three days i got this last time i got marinated um it was like in these mexican seasonings the chicken threw it in so then that's just extra flavor they fucking did it for me i didn't even have to threw it in chop some carrots i have so many great crockpot easy easy recipes i'm down to try i'm a crockpot bitch wow let's be a crockpot team like let's all be crock pot easy easy recipes i'm down to try i'm a crock pot bitch wow let's be a crock pot team like let's all be crock pot friends yeah let me not own a crock pot i have an instapot is that

the same thing yeah yeah well mine's like a faster and faster but the pot is just like a pressure cooker it's just a basically the same thing but just because a pressure cooker cooks and tenderizes things faster okay a crock pot for me is like a slow cook you just set and then six hours later you have this amazingly that might be better because one time i have only used my instapot once and honestly the cleanup after like all the little pieces no crock pot's the best it's so easy to clean bowl yeah just one bowl and then it's also mine's also an air fryer so it's like you just take the air fryer part out and it's a bunch of things but i do love my instapot when jay wolf sent it to me when i was in harder times

and jessica they're like salt and pepper they never supper wow okay so crock pot goals for 2023 you had a lot of fans on instapot it's so funny J-Wolf is our father he's our dad some of our fans we have very close relationships J-Wolf was helping me with like

I thought you guys were talking about Josh Wolf I was like wow how charitable of him to help young comics J-Wolf is just a fan then he's one of our family at this point yeah from live family you too could go from fan to family honestly if your new year's goals are to manage your money better you need rocket money rocket money formerly known as true bill is a personal finance app that helps and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills

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And I got these warm, cozy socks because I'm an old lady. Oh, they're sloths. Yeah, they're sloths. And then that's a banana bag for Annie. Banana bag. I love this. I'm an old lady. Oh, they're sloths. They're bigger than your whole body, though? Yeah, they're sloths. Wait, what is... And then that's a banana bag for Annie. Banana bag and... Rich bitch candle. I love this.

I genuinely thought that was a face cream. I almost did this. It does look like you can... Oh, it smells so good, too. Mmm, taste it. I did that with... Didn't I tell you guys I did that with a toothpaste? I put the toothpaste all over...

I squeezed it on my hand and started rubbing it in. This is not the consistency. And I was like in line ordering food. I'm like, it's so fucking embarrassing. There's like nothing you can do except be like, I just use toothpaste

as a fucking moisturizer. Oh, because you carry toothpaste around. No, no, no, no. It was in like, I was waiting in line and then they, remember when I got you guys the, by the way,

have you used the golden tongue scraper? I did, but it's it's not strong it's not it is a lighter scraping yeah i'm glad i can be honest with you because i was so excited about the gift but it wrote in the trash i don't when i give people gifts you do with it whatever you want it's yours from then but i yeah i got my friend uh i went to vegas for new Year's I did Wise Guys it was so fun people stayed so the way that the shows were set up was um like I wasn't I was getting off stage at 11 10 which is such a fucking cock tease of a New Year's show we just didn't think of it ahead of time or the club didn't whatever no big deal but so I was like all right why don't you guys just if you want to stay like after the meet and greet just like hang out in the parking lot and we'll just watch the fireworks.

They had fireworks that we could see from the parking lot. And we'll just do the countdown out there. So, but it was raining. And I didn't realize that. So I'm doing the meet and greet and stuff. And I'm, like, sending people out just, like, standing in the rain. And when I came out, all these people had stayed in their cars. And then we all, like, kind of squished.

Some people had umbrellas and stuff. And we did the countdown. It was so cute. That was a really big storm New year's eve yeah yeah i would had like i was like i'm gonna go to this party and then this party and then i went nowhere i mean you don't look nobody noticed and no one cared oh the jenner's invited you and you couldn't make it is that what it was yeah i fully had like a classic Esther stay at home New Year's Eve. That was the perfect New Year's to stay home.

Yeah, it was good. Also, you don't have to. I feel like it doesn't matter. But you know, I love Vegas. You know, I love comedy. I love my fans. It was so fun. We went, Todd and I won so much money that weekend.

It was so fun. I feel like, I know I sound crazy. I feel like I conquered slots. Like I know how to win the money i know your dad probably said this when your mom was rocking you to sleep no but god damn do i have a thing and i just know how to follow the fun and my friend andy andrews was there but this is why i was thinking about it because i bought him he got a flight out off like miles or something i was like come out you got to come out because doug stanhope was also doing a

weekend there i was doing a show there so we're all staying in the Plaza Hotel together I'm like Andy you got to come so he gets it he gets a flight and I'm just like I'll get you a hotel and he was like okay so I get him a hotel and then when I get there he's like I don't really want to like my own hotel room so I just forfeited the room and I started to be like I hate for the fucking room he wanted to to sleep on something. He wanted to like be around people. So he just stayed and crashed in someone else's room. But then I was like, you know what? When I do give gifts, I don't give a, it's your room.

If you want to forfeit the fucking room, it's your room. Like, I'm not going to, what am I going to be mad about it? And then I was thinking about the Selena Gomez. And the kidney. And the fucking kidney. That's Selena's kidney, bitch. She can fucking track the kidney. Wait, what is, oh, because the friend was mad at how, is that really true?

Do we know that no oh okay oh that's just like speculative basically that their friendship um started to suffer because selena was allegedly back to like unhealthy how old is selena gomez i think she's almost 30 right okay so here's the thing think about all the friends that you've had in your life like some just especially in that type of career and stuff it's like your friends just naturally sometimes go in and out so think about that in your 20s when you're giving an organ to someone right it's like they just like slowly not be friends with them anymore that's a good lesson that is it's like i'm not going to give you half of my filtration system if i know you might squander that yeah

so it's like maybe if we're in our 40s and we're definitely friends for good right and i also know that maybe your lifestyle is not gonna consist of you know benders anymore because like you just can't hang you know you can't you can't deal with hangovers i might give you half of my infiltration system is it how much does it affect the person who gives up the kidney i think if you i'm not sure i'm not sure but i imagine there's a reason we have two and that's just people live with one just fine but i mean that's that's the the organ that filters your blood to get rid of toxins you know i okay so maybe you'd be like picky about donating or giving a kindy kidney but like what do you want one just for

your collection like would you ever swap organs with someone just like get closer to them if we both have healthy no no because you're i'm thinking about it in a very like sciencey way where it's like my body is gonna reject it because it's not my own so why would i go through that someone so much and you just like want to become one i think that's like such an ultimate expression of love if it's i'm about to call dave and make him have that talk right now how about you just eat their shit esther no that is not what i'm saying sick that's not true because you said you would eat hot girl fecal transplant yes i would hot girl she's not a person i'm in love with you're not in love with a hot girl are we now spinning this that that was hypothetical no i would i definitely

would eat hot girl shit and i have a couple people in mind whose shit i'm after that's so funny you got to make sure esther doesn't go to the bathroom after you she's collecting samples you see her she's plunging esther's drinking the one annie she intentionally breaks her own toilets in her house and tells girls like roomie like hey use that one and so clog it. And then you collect the samples. You sick bitch. This is where you guys are absolutely delusional. If you don't think I could just outright ask for it and get it, you're crazy.

Call her right now. Call her right now and say, would you give me a sample of your shit? Call her right fucking now. I don't think she'll. She won't answer, but she'll give you her shit? Yes. Can I just ask this would you guys not give I would give my shit to anyone

you wouldn't give me your shit I would throw it in your fucking face I'd have you wake up with your eye you're like why can't I open my eyes I'd give you a mud bath oh I do remember when Randy Randy would eat his shit oh I remember when Randy would eat his shit no oh i remember when randy would eat his

shit he was so happy randy's cuter than ever by the way can't be a better he we've been through a lot he was shitting blood for a second we had to switch his food up but randy's the best he's so funny we've been bringing i've been bringing him and todd on the road with me and life is perfect it's so good but we were just having fun we were fucking playing slots i found out i love bingo i cried i liked bingo so much bingo is the best i cried i was like a new thing i like my life just it's just wins wins wins wins wins fun fun fun oh in vegas is slots you mean no but just no in life i thought i meant old school bingo where'd you go bingo they have bingo there's not in slots they have a bingo room in vegas with the stampers yes we have to we have to honestly we should do slug bingo okay bingo needs to be um rebranded i will first

of all i will go to vegas and play bingo 100 me too name the time can we just go play slot guys trust me no just bingo just bingo you guys don't want to win money it's crazy because okay i feel like in 20, I know this is- Pete wants to go. I can feel Pete's vibe. Pete, we're going slots. Your wife can fucking come. We'll get a babysitter.

Because we're all- Pete and Pete's wife and I had a vibe, by the way. Oh, what kind? It was just pictures. We were like, we had a whole thing. I feel there's a- Pete silently had to sit there while I was talking.

He was in between us, too. I'm feeling a collective need for like in person group community vibes and I think bingo is like the perfect activity

to just like get a bunch of people together have fun it's like you get to sit down there's not a ton of social pressure because there's an activity

okay what if we do like the chair exercises first yes and then we earn the bingo but it's the stampers like because you can do that they have like the machines you can do and it does it for you which is kind of fun but you're not doing anything i like to put but the stampers it's like you have to like you have to really pay attention and you feel like you did it and you don't win a lot like i think the most you win is like a hundred dollars that's so fun but it's so fun like low state you don't even know what i was winning tell us what'd you win in vegas i won two thousand dollars like i left with two thousand dollars of winnings i think in total i won a little over three thousand wow

and slots i played the new dune slot was the fucking bomb i'm actually reading dune now because of the slot i'm telling you if you lean into into Vegas and just let it do what it wants to do, it's everything. You will end up getting the education that you need. I walk into a casino and I'm like, I have a ride. It's like a mall with light. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Money, na, na, na, na, na. Wait, what's your hotel spot?

What's your favorite? I like going to Fremont. I think Fremont's more fun. It's like the like old Vegas it's not it's fun to go to the wind and kind of ball out and be like fancy fancy and get the crab legs at the buffet but I was born on Fremont there my mom was pushing me out on that that dirty also it's just that area is just so different now yeah I have a lot of like just it's it's cool now it's so when I was living there it was not great but the slots that slots in Cirque are the best at Circa.

And then, but I'll stay, I don't care, I'll stay anywhere. But it was just the Karate Kid one, Little Shop of Horrors always. It's just, and I, it was things like, I would have like a vision. I'm like, all right, this machine. Todd and I will like go test them all. I'm like, is this the right one? And we're not getting good vibes. And like the first night at the, this is so boring. I already talked about this on Annie Wood too. Sorry guys. I'm not going to double you up with these things, but

watch Annie Wood if you want to hear more about the slots. I go into depth there. Sorry. But anyway, it's so fun. It's just ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And me and Andy Andrus, like I couldn't sleep. I made so much money. I could not sleep. I was like just. It's just ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And me and Andy Andrus, like I couldn't sleep. I made so much money I could not sleep. I was like just wide awake, just smiling, like so happy. Todd was like tossing and turning because he can sense when I'm awake. And Randy was there. And then I get a text from my friend Andy and he's like, what are you doing? It was 8 a.m.

I was like, haven't slept. Let's go. And I just put my hair in a ponytail and we just went to the slots. And we were just, they have like love seats, you know, where you can sit with someone. We were just laughing. And it's like karate. It's like, there's like things from your childhood and memories.

It's just so fun. You know, one of my greatest memories was one time before I went to go to Vegas, I went to Petco to get dog food. And on the side, in my periphery, I see this sun conure. It's kind of like this parrot. And this sun conure was like calling to me. So I approached the cage and this thing was just rubbing up on me like the sweetest thing.

And I could not believe like how much of my attention it wanted. And I walked out of there crying because the sun conure cost, it was like 500 something. And I was like, I really want to just free this bird. Like, I think it really wants out. And then I left for Vegas that night. And that night I won a thousand dollars. And the next day I came home and I bought the sun conure and we named him Rasta. i thought you were gonna say you freed it i was like so you have had a manic no um but rasta moved to because i was dating someone at that time he moved to um texas with um his father oh so i lost custody the universe gave you what technically because he won the money i was with him and then i was like we gotta go get this bird

and we came back and he was like okay and then we named it rasta and then he went to go live with his dad when he moved back to austin did you like um being a bird owner loved it it was potty trained go poop rasta and right on top of the trash rasta would cuddle so your favorite thing about him that i see was he pooped oh stop acting like you weren't just about to call your fucking friend up and ask her for her shit. These are flock birds. They're more affectionate than dogs. What? They cuddle.

They sleep with you like feet up like this. Oh, that's so, so, so sweet. They sleep with you? Yeah, they sleep with me. That's so cute. I have to say my favorite Vegas activity is because I'm very big on like non-traditional Vegas. activities because I'm very big on like non-traditional Vegas it like the most fun I've ever had in Vegas is when we went to this like really like an exotic pet store and like got to touch and meet hedgehogs and like ferrets little critters like that was very fun. Did they put you

in a cage and think you were one of them? Yeah I did have to spend I had an overnight stay there. I rescued ferrets when I lived in Vegas. You rescued them? From where? Yeah, they were like really shitty owners. And I inherited them when they were really old. And at the end of their life, there was Latte, Frisco, and Rusty. I had three ferrets.

They were really cute. Latte is such a cute name. Carrot was one of them? No, it was a ferret. I was like, Carrot the a ferret that is a cute name wait a second here's what if we are wild i think that as a group or i know annie would enjoy this but i think we should go see usher yes i want to see usher usher okay you know what i actually already previously had had plans to see Usher, but they fell through. Okay.

Who were they with? A friend. A special friend. Ew, a special friend. She's got another lesbian she's into. No, me and Miranda, we were going to go, but we ended up not doing it. She's saying more important to do. Probably. I really would have my feelings slightly hurt though if you lezzied out with someone else before me i think oh like publicly yeah noted and i will be respectful

of that can i see where the tattoo is now so have we talked about this no there's like multiple lawsuits oh that they don't that they don't fade and it's true they don't fade it's been it's only gone darker it's actually been like a year and three months and there's no signs of fading and dave will be like are you gonna you should sue and i'm like i'm good sue when listen when esther doesn't want to sue that i should sue happening yeah i'm gonna you should sue you said a freaking year i want it gone i want to yeah no i think everything in vegas is fun i've never not had fun in vegas even when i like wasn't gambling i would go and because i don't drink i would tell myself like all right

you can have as much cake as you want but then i was just like had like a cupcake weekend like i've never not had fun in vegas i can find it out of the out of the casino in the casino all of it but i think we should do a group bingo are we inviting fans to do it i don't know that's interesting do we do like we should throw our own bingo i'm that's what i'm saying live event live event bingo some podcasts they tour they do shows live on stage we're just having a bingo do we have a bingo hall yeah just in our hotel room no i think we could literally rent out a theater bingo i'm down okay i'm down that's not so fun if anyone that i was a fan of did that i would never sign up for anything imagine if you just went on the road but we took bingo night on the road great that's it let us know guys what the appetite is either way we are doing it though i was like i was like i felt so like a lot i've

been really trying to like listen to myself and and when i feel something just really go with all the goodness of the feelings i was weeping and i like, I can't believe there's footage of me being like, I love bingo. I can't believe there's another thing I fucking love I didn't know about, especially in fucking Vegas. It's no secret by now, right? If you've seen these beautiful tall boys,

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That was the highlight of last year. It's called Liquid Death because death to plastic, okay? And also this branding actually will make you look like you're drinking something crazy that is death, but it's just water. So you can trick everyone and be cute and cool. And I recently saw a guy got pulled over because he was drinking one of these and the cop was like, oh, sorry.

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This is oddly therapeutic. I know the fisting of the toy. Yeah, but you get to pet it and it's so soft. You've never looked crazier with the thing on your head. I like you like this. This is right for me. Yeah, because she knows she can get in. Get her when she's in an episode.

You guys want some presents from Pete for 100 episodes? Yes, please. Predator Pete? No. You guys want some presents from Pete for 100 episodes? Yes, please. Presents from Pete? Predator Pete? No. You know what else changed my brain chemistry over winter break

was learning that Lana Del Rey has a billboard for her new album only in her ex's hometown. That's gorgeous. It's such a beautiful thing. Such a great move.

Yay. Papa Pete. Thank you. Oh my goodness. This is so good. Okay. Ew. All right.

For Annie, you get to reclaim something that you were after for a long time. Baby, hi baby. How's that pod going? Never forget. Never forget. By the way, I'm way i'm just kidding i hope their podcast is done i'm still in favor of just changing our name back and letting it letting it roll

yours is so good a little manifestation and he's gonna steal this truly my first crush legends of the fall that says poster america is this to replace bobby behind me yes cover it let's get rid of bobby no keep keep him get rid of his ass and then pete what is this it's just one fin yeah well scuba equipment is uh really expensive so we'll have to do it in uh in chunks here the other one oh my god pete is this a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie it is pete thank you so much and then carlos's gift is he's not gonna make you eat it take it away oh my god that looks so good oh look at donuts ever we smell it smells so good where's it from pete a place called so good. Where's it from, Pete?

A place called Republic of Pie and Coffee in North Hollywood. I know where that is. Oh, I've been there. That's a great place. I love that place. They have such good pie. Also, rhubarb makes me shit my brains out. So if you take Vicodin, take a little rhubarb with it. Oh, we'll be right.

Thank you so much, Pete. Thank you, Pete. Happy 100 100 did you make this i did is that like it's movie grade blood and water and not it won't stain i love fake blood it's my favorite i do i do miss i i will say i do miss the old name i know i still have people who call it that like especially on the road we met people were like we were watching since bloodbath i'm like oh it made me sad yeah isn't it a weird thing that yeah okay isn't it a weird thing that every other podcast has 50 names are we sure that we can i'm not sure and i'm saying we should just change it back why don't we just never can someone

who's a fan of this show who knows law someone just like figure this out legally dear kim kardashian you're a lawyer now can you why are we the only ones that have ever changed our name ever ever anyone ever i just learned that um i don't know how real this is but an insider person who works for cruise ships says that they dose their food with some kind of like laxative agent so that people have softer poo so they don't clog the toilets on the ship that's amazing i wish every place did that imagine being fucking constipated on a cruise to put extra fat which can have a laxative is to make sure all the ship's plumbing works i don't know if it's the fat i there i don't know if it's extra fatty or they actually add something but yeah the cruise that i went on the heavy metal cruise what's up papa Up Papa Roach. How was the plumbing on that one?

The plumbing was fine. I just, I will say that it's a buffet style where you can just order all you can eat. And I did not stop eating. I was so full. I had bombs, so I was soothing myself. I can't believe I know someone who went on a heavy metal cruise ship rocked wow what is it called ship rocked and it was

so fun even though I ate it and then I ate all the food too and now I'm friends with Papa Roach but see I only trust people who have had have had real buffet experience because buffet used to be an Olympic sport for me and my family,

like especially in my early 20s. We knew all the good Vegas buffets. And if you didn't treat it, like if you were somebody that didn't get your money's worth, and sometimes it would be like 40, 50 bucks. Like I just had no respect for you. A lot of people. Well, wait, can I ask you guys a question?

I've never asked you guys this. How do you get your steaks cooked? Pretty bloody. wait can i ask you guys a question i've never asked you guys this how do you get your uh steaks cooked um pretty bloody not that way like medium full or whatever you medium rare you're medium well medium well i'm not a steak girl at all but like a hamburger how would you get it cooked medium full medium well yeah yeah medium well or whatever they do they don't even ask you that at Like a hamburger, how would you get it cooked? Medium full. Medium well. Yeah. Yeah, medium well. Or whatever they do. They don't even ask you that at Shake Shack. They just, right?

Yeah. What about you? I get that shit as bloody as I can. Whoa. I like it. I like it the way you like it. I like it if it's a little cold on the inside. I'm like, mm-hmm.

Although I will say this. I feel like back in the day i used to always make a point to ask for my whopper junior like flame broiled because sometimes they don't do it if you don't specify have you been taken out to dinner ever or that's a really good question and the answer might be no should we go to a steakhouse i'd love to let's go to a steakhouse together okay which one let's go let's go there are a couple i like ocean prime on what do we order we do you what do you get steak i'm more of a side queen there's amazing sides we should go to we should get like one of those tables on the ocean at ocean prime to celebrate 100 episodes yeah okay i'm down for

carlos's dad is paying will you call him will you call my daddy for me ask him she needs a father no he's in the office right now he has surgery till two what kind of surgery cancer and women he's taking the out of the boobie out of anywhere but only on women yeah he takes tumors out of like obese women a lot can i just tell you how weird this is okay you are starting to remind me of my friend elliot whose dad is a gynecologist i think like boys with dads who are around like vaginal areas a lot are you're a thing really yeah what's your liking it's like because i ignored all the stuff my dad did growing up. So it's too gross. Like all the pictures were so gross.

Well, because it's problem areas. Yeah. You saw them as problem areas. Yeah. I saw like blood and tumors and just- But you don't care about a bloody pussy. Hell no. No.

No. There's no way. I know just from when you were just her companion on that Hawaii trip, she was just bleeding out on the bed. Oh yeah, I did. Oh my God. You guys, I went to hot yoga and I got my period one second before the class. Like, you know when they're like,

you know when they're like, they're like, all right, class, that's it. Last second and you're going to miss the fucking class. So I just had to free bleed out in the hot yoga class. But I was wearing black pants, so I was fine. Did it leak out? It didn't leak out, but it was just like the whole time,

like you're having trouble attaching your breath to the movements. Imagine you're like, is there blood gushing out of me right now? Gosh, I just can't imagine doing hot yoga while hemorrhaging. No. And yeah, that just seems like a perfect recipe for me to pass out. And that was the last class of hot yoga I'll ever do. It triggers my TMJ and my cholesterol headaches. Oh, I want to tell you guys about Rolfing real quick. Oh, that's right. What is that? It's R-O-L-F, Rolfing. And it's like a type of deep fascia massage where they're working to like make your body structurally back to where it was supposed to be and I went to one fucking session and my jaw all day yesterday was like sitting the way it's supposed to sit to the point

where I could feel where these teeth weren't touching more because it was like I've been grinding those in and it was the craziest he found all the points and he's like he's like I'm just trying to learn what's going on and find like the story of how my body got into the way it is. But it's fucking crazy. Wait, I want to try that. Have you have you tried frothing? Frisbee golf? No.

Anyone else do that in gym class to get out of doing the hard stuff? That's a real thing. Yeah. Frisbee golf is totally. I feel like everything's a real thing now, like competitive juggling is. If everything is real, then that means nothing is real. It's not a great thing. That's true.

Yeah. Why is that great? Not great. Everything being real, nothing being real is pretty good to me. Because then it's like, what do we have? Joy, happiness, whatever we want. Where did you go rolfing? I want to copy you.

It's this guy. I went to this guy. I found when I was on my breathwork trip, one of my friends that i made on the trip this girl alex was uh she's a rolfer in florida and so she sent me to this guy who is one of like the best his name is jan sultan i love that i feel like i'm obsessed with my pt guy and i fell in love with the PT guy. I feel like he's handsome, but like there's no attraction there between us, but he's just so good with his hands. I have a frozen shoulder. It's been that way. It's going to take like two years to get better basically. But he gets in my neck in places that makes my eyes roll back. His name's Lou Jay.

And he is just incredible. And I don't miss a session because he just knows the spots on my shoulders. Some people just have the touch. No, and they just know. And they know where to go from there. I had been having so much pain. I went and got like a 90-minute massage from a woman. And it was great.

But it wasn't what? I just remembered something. What? from a woman and it was great but it wasn't what i just remembered something what i got one of the best massages i've ever had in my life from a place i randomly walked into in koreatown while waiting to um eat at a restaurant that was like really packed i was like oh i'm just gonna burn time walk into this place called i think the name was soya i thought i was gonna get my kidneys like stolen there i was like oh this is where my life ends but i was like i'm gonna roll the dice i'm gonna take a chance i walk in there and it was like a husband wife team and they didn't speak english the best hands i've ever had both of them do it at the same time no

but a friend of mine got it and i was like was the husband good he was like incredible wow incredible this tiny little place in koreatown i love it it's like i love when like you just don't look anything up on the internet don't look for reviews you just take a chance and it's the best yeah that is so scary to me like i feel like that is where i get into really bad situations well don't go late at night i've made that mistake but that's like when i want a massage that's the problem is i only want it late at night. Like after my set. Yeah.

I'm like, so one of these days I'm going to go to like a handjob place and just be like, I've gone. I can show you where they are. I've gone accidentally and then realized like, oh my God, there's, this is a handjob place. And I, there was one place I went to in New York that was like 24 hour massage. My friend, my friend and I were like, we just got in sushi or something and then I don't know we're out fucking around and it was like 11 p.m so we were like it says like 24 hours so we like knock and then we see a light turn on and we had like woken these people up like they just lay sleeping next

to the door in case I was like we're sorry we're sorry twenty dollars we're not getting a massage sorry it's like I mean even though it's their choice to have that business but it's like I don't want to wake someone up and make them force them to massage me is that because that's what you do at home with Todd Todd I do wake him you're right no he doesn't get to go to sleep until I've been massaged I have um one of my old friends like a friend in the family, he does a lot of like undercover stuff in LA. And a lot of his busts involves him having to almost get that massage. And so there have been many times where he's just been in that position. And then he's like, oh, one second.

Then he goes to the bathroom, tells like, hey, they are that place. And then they bust him. But when they bust him, he still has to pretend. He does, he cannot like reveal himself. He still has to be a John. And so- He gets jerked off? No, no, no, no.

So the woman's like, oh God, like the cops are here, here. And she tries to like hide him and he has to play along. Oh my God. Yeah, but- Don't most cops get the hand job and then arrest them i feel like that's actually a very serious issue in the united states um no not him because he's like such a straight edge like dude he's also just doesn't like being touched at all and he's also like i don't know he just is one of those guys just like why do i have to do this but he's very believable and so

he does i was getting a massage once and um what is it he does that. I was getting a massage once and what is it called? Okay, so I was getting a massage once in New York and the woman barely spoke English. And in the middle of massage, they called her out. And then I could hear her getting interviewed by a government official, like testing her on like her American, all of the knowledge she had.

No way. It was so crazy. It was during my massage. And let me tell you, she did a No way. It was so crazy. It was during my massage. And let me tell you, she did a lot better than me on that test. I was like, I would fail this. I would fail this.

Send me home. Send me back to my country. Where would you get deported to, you think? Where would I get deported to? Probably Russia. Roll me right in. You take care of her, Putin. I feel like of anyone, you would survive Russia the best.

I could. I feel like you would be the next Putin. I could Putin my way through life. I would actually love to. They just deport me to Finland. I think that's probably the best way for my story to end. Finland's a great country. Yeah.

No, I don't get to go to Finland. Why not? I'm half Finnish. We're going to send you somewhere. Let me finish. I don't want to go to Israel. Like there'll be too many people like me there I feel like I don't have any of the Finnish no they're like in the military they're not like you at all they're way better than you they're they're tactical they have skills that's true you're not wrong no I want to go to

Israel would be cool to visit though yeah I would like to go I want to go everywhere I really what is the cutoff for birthright? I think it's 25. Oh. Did you hear about Gwen Stefani getting in trouble? Yeah, I did see that. I was saying she's Japanese. She's Japanese.

I think she was just saying like a line. I don't think she said I'm Japanese. She just was like, I guess I'm Japanese. Like I think she was just kidding. But who knows? So stupid. I have my fucking word. You guys, everybody is wrong.

Everybody is wrong. Like you're going to say some shit you only need to dig so deep. I'm just saying true to myself and I'm having fun and I don't give a fucking shit. I agree. That's what this year is about, baby. And everyone I know is thriving. So you're welcome. You get to have the good luck, everyone around.

We're good on time. Happy 100, you guys. Happy 100. And thank you to the slugs for getting us all the way to 100 episodes. We wouldn't have been able to do it without you. Oh, oh, oh. We have confetti cannons if you want to use them.

I'm okay on the confetti. Right below the sandbag there. I touched it and I'm already covered in glitter. Thank you. How does it work again? You twist the bottom. Do I have one? Do I have to open this or no?

No. Okay. I won't shoot it. You guys, wait. Can I just say something that this show is missing? What? That we need to bring back? We need Esther to be very upset,

screaming and running out of the room. I know you're comfortable here, but we need to- I'm fully in support of that we need to start bringing gross things for esther and we need to start overcoming fears again oh my god please don't do it please don't do it please don't do it oh it looks good though but that was so loud it's okay baby i am so sorry you're okay oh my god that was so scary oh You're okay. Oh my god, that was so scary. Oh my god, I've never felt her like that, my poor girl. Dude, I'm scared. Somebody hold me. I know. It was loud.

Is Kalilah talking? I can't hear her. Oh my god. Did I blow your fucking ear? That was wild, but that's okay. You guys, thank you so much for listening. Who bought them? It's okay. Who bought them? That's me. Sorry. That's me. This is where you lie and tell us it's carlos i can't use shit you guys thank you so much for listening and we are excited for another hundred with you and we'll see you next week with an all

new episode