Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Esther and Annie Bro Down With Khalyla

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors: BetterHelp - Visit our sponsor https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday today to get 10% off your first monthMood - Get 20% off your first order and FREE gummies when you go to https://hellomood.com and use promo code TRASHTUESDAY Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Esther Introduces the Show2:12 Annie’s Dodger Stadium Adventure6:46 Our Risky Behavior When We Were Kids9:33 Sexy Hands11:16 Easily Flirting With Someone You Don’t Like Romantically 15:54 Attraction to Chefs19:04 Bros Esther & Annie Are Khalyla’s Wingmen29:12 Fan DM: I Got Propositioned by Another Guy to Sleep With His Wife35:22 Fan DM: Catching Your Neighbor Watching You While Doing it41:06 Medical Corner: Green Hairy Tongues & Dark B Holes45:33 Fancy Question: Do Women Like Possessive Men?47:03 Khalyla’s Trauma From Killing an Octopus, Esther’s Trauma From Seeing an Octopus51:53 Getting Along With Your Significant Other’s Parents54:53 The Case Against Travel1:06:59 The Ookie Cookie & The Grandparents Derby  Send us your Trash Tuesday fan mail!c/o 7EQUIS LLCP.O. Box 5154Glendale, CA 91221 Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun

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offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply statement mobile for details hello and welcome to a new fresh episode of trash tuesday it's a little bit crazy today dare i say there's some after dark energy in the room because we've been amongst each other and we're a little too comfortable we've all reached the same cycle i've had a couple wait till we stand up it's gonna be real bloody on this couch well i'm ovulating baby shoot him into my mouth wait is that why i feel like you really need to be a lesbian because i'm like i i think you have sperm to give me yeah i do and you're drunk i keep it in my cheek i've been drinking the simply spiked

who took my mango peach away the police the shower police. My father. My father. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Let therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Trash Tuesday.

Order your THC products from Mood today. For 20% off your first order and free gummies, go to HelloMood.com and use promo code Trash Tuesday. That's HelloMood.com promo code Trash Tuesday for 20% off your order and free gummies hi slugs it's august we're all slugs i'm wearing glasses and hot pink and i am a stand-up comedian and you can see me this month in oxnard and then i will be in dc boston madison wisconsin san diego detroit chicago san jose Johnson, San Diego, Detroit, Chicago, San Jose, Irvine. Get tickets at estheronice.com. Hey, sluggies. Happy Tuesday. You can see me in Philadelphia, August 11th and 12th. I'll be in Calgary, August 27th at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival with Andrew Schultz. I'm going to be in San Francisco at Cobbs on September 15th and 16th, Austin, Texas in October.

I also have a bunch of dates that have not gone up yet. You can go to Annie Letterman.com slash shows. They will be there now. How's everybody feeling today? I feel good. Yeah, I feel good yeah i feel good um i feel um can i tell you guys something i inhaled really hard for no reason okay i want to tell you something i did this weekend what or this week i went to a dodgers game hell yeah annie oh don't you it was so fun that's we're gonna have to take her oh no i'm gonna it was so fun. That's, we're going to have to take her. Oh, no. I'm going to. It was so fun. Dodger games are it, Esther. It was so fun. Thank you, Annie.

I had a blast and I figured out how to smuggle mushrooms in. Okay. Because you know how they have you, you can only bring a clear bag. You have to have a clear bag. They go through your stuff. Yeah, you can't bring in purses or anything. I was wearing a swimsuit top and you know how they have the hole for the padding to go doing you just put them in that wait do you eat mushrooms like that just dry not even these were in no these ones were in um i love how you think it can only be drier candy in the capsules

oh i don't capsules i will say that i was at a party recently and people on mushrooms are so much more fun than drug people a man just came up to me was like me and he came to me and dave was like hey i just want to introduce myself we find out he's on mushrooms of course but i'm like i love this people want to be my friend when they're on severe drugs hallucinating so when you're on shrooms like it makes you more social it must depends the thing with shrooms is it really depends on the dose you never really know it's it's hard i didn't end up taking the mushrooms i was i just had it completely just there for the game sober yeah i was completely sober with my friend mike o'darren

his girlfriend rosie uh josh potter and his lady friend lauren and todd was there any good food we had a we got a helmet full of nachos okay that i here's that's good tell me how you feel about this garlic fries we waited in line we took we got the wrong line with the senile woman it was like uh the most i have never seen anyone take longer in a line in my entire life every line was like it would be like people would come like 55 minutes after me and they were gone i watched most of the game like my neck hurts from looking up at the screen watching the game i mean it was it was wild how long it took and then we get up there and we hadn't discussed this yet todd goes by the way todd will be with me in every line like i'm not going alone

it's either todd's alone or i'm with him and I prefer to be with him. Together we will miss this game. But we're waiting in line and we get the helmet of nachos and he goes, do you want chili on it? And I went, absolutely not, just cheese. And he goes, come on, we waited all this time for the chili. So I go, okay. The fire-ia I had this morning, I was like, Todd, you did this to me? You did this to me? I was burning. It was rancid. It was like, you did this to me. Wait, you call it fire-ia? I wish I coined the term, but I've had so much experience with hot lava diarrhea pouring out of my ass that I've known of fire-ia for a long time.

I was bidet-ing so hard on my ass. I was like, I'm just going to do it at the same time while it's coming out. So it was like good and evil meeting it was it was horrific oh my god when i worked at johnny rockets and we would make you'd shoot some johnny rockets out no we would make chili cheese fries i gotta say chili and like nachos or fries is so good but nacho cheese for me is so pure like just nachos with just the like like i will take gas station nachos over going to a restaurant and having respect respect i want it to be as cheese whizzy as possible i want to cheese whizzy but just that liquid yes you get the community pool at the movie theater yes yes yes you're purist yes the places where you're definitely going to

get it wet accidentally like nasty like yeah where you're not supposed to be eating for a half hour. And I... Is that a myth, by the way? You're the swimmer, you're asking us? Nothing's ever happened to me. Oh my God, the swimmer just asked her. What does she know? She's been taking a break, a cramp break her entire life from swimming.

Okay, so I've always eaten large meals. Like when we go on like island hopping, big meals, jump straight into the water. Nothing has ever happened. To say island hopping like it's a normal thing. I grew up doing that because there's 7,000 islands where I'm from. That's all you can do. It's like hop on an island. And we haven't been invited to one.

Wait, can we? Just whatever, like fantasy, renting out the community pool in Skokie and then teach me how to swim did not did no one else think we're gonna can we go to the cool Philippines yeah I thought she was gonna say that have you ever did you ever do anything like bad when you were a teenager did you break rules and stuff uh no nothing there was a sex tape there was a sex tape there was a sex tape but that really breaking a rule except the law? The largest, the child pornography law, the number one law. I did some really high risk like behavior.

I had some problems. I would hitch rides. Oh, yeah. What? All the time wearing like the, like now that I'm like, oh my God, if I, if my daughter did this, I would be having panic attacks every day. That's so 1970s of you, because my mom has talked about being in situations where she has to like had to in her younger years, like leave a date because the man was being inappropriate. And the only option then was to hitchhike home like you could have been killed. I can't believe you did. That's how bad the date was.

She's like, I got I might get murdered, but I can't be here. It was with my dad. Like because sometimes I had an MTA bus pass. the date was just like i got i might get murdered but i can't be here it was with my dad like because sometimes i had an mta bus pass um and i sometimes i would miss the bus and i'm like oh shit the bus doesn't come for another 20 minutes and i would just like hitch a ride and dudes it's always dudes that stop and i you know my body was delivered safely and in one piece but like i probably i must have done that like at least 25 times also you're molested so you're like you're doing higher risk behavior constantly because you're like

isn't this normal this is normal to be constantly almost dying we used to get like fully naked in the car we thought it was like funny to be naked going through um toll booths oh like with your friends yeah it would be just a group of like guys and girls just fully naked that sounds fun wait what are other like rule-breaking things well i was thinking the thing i was thinking about this is a little more innocent but we would always like go into the pool when it was closed we would like hop into the that's my dream it was really fun i loved night meets night swim team meets were the best um being in a pool in the dark is like the best oh that sounds so fun i've dreamt of climbing over that gate and going in that close pool. And watching everyone else swim.

And being in the, she broke in to go to the kiddie pool. I have a very specific type of nighttime pool trauma that I don't think anyone can relate to unless like you grow up in the Philippines. in the Philippines, but when they would turn on the lights at Abeliana's where we used to swim at night, it would attract all of these bugs and these giant flying ants and they would all swarm

into the pool. So one of my weird little traumas is- That'd be so funny if the first time she went into the pool that happened to her. We would all have to, like the bugs would then find their way underneath

our lycra suit and they would bite us had a lot of like bug bites all over our body to have something biting you that's under the surface that is yeah and it's not like we could stop and be like hey there's bugs in my suit like you just had to keep going and it's such a weird specific thing can i just say you have really sexy hands i do i know you Finally, she knows something. No, like Korean women have stopped me my whole life and have been like, oh, my, my. Like they always want to stop and see.

And I noticed that. I don't know if I've said this before on here, but when I was in a scene with Margot Robbie on Dollface, the first thing I noticed about Margot Robbie was her hands were so sexy. I can't believe you got near Margot Robbie. I i know they allowed you near her and you have was security like right behind the like this looking at me how tall is she i think she's like like average hot girl height like probably like five seven ish i think we can google that but but I remember 5'7", 5'8", maybe. That's the vibes I got. I thought she was 5'2". She was so tall.

She was really big. I think that you're attracted to my hands at the moment because my nails are cut really short. It's very masculine. It's like a sexy woman. Yeah. You want to be fingered by these. I actually just want to look at them. I think I have a hand fetish.

I do too for men. I do. I really do want to look at them. I think I have a hand fetish. I do too for men. I do. I really do. I look at men's hands all the time. You're out of the running again. You're not doing nails for a while? These are so bad right now. Are you not doing nails?

I just ripped my nails off and then was like, I hate sitting in the salon or whatever and getting them done. It's so painful. That I'm like, maybe I'm taking a beat. But I will say if I i do get nails if you see me with nails what i really want to go back to getting matte nude yeah i feel a little bit like a robot alien i like that i want short again i can't but then i wouldn't do nails right you would just do your well mine just are i bite them and stuff if i don't have nails on them. You know what I just realized about myself after 38 years is it is almost impossible

for me to flirt with someone I actually like. When I don't like someone, the ease at which I can flirt is like, it's incredible. Like I can look at a guy and say the wildest shit and in the most flirtatious way. These poor guys. They're like're like wait what do women do the guys that like watch us to learn they learn nothing they learn nothing they're like so confused and so like but if i like someone and if i'm attracted to them i will avoid eye contact and when they talk to me you're like shy i start to stutter and i'm just like i it's i'm fully embarrassed bro literally when i talk about the night i met dave the first sentence is always oh i saw a guy i thought was hot and then i hid from him i'm my first and i'll never forget seeing him being that guy's so cute have to hide i did not

want i was so i have the same thing. It's like. What is that? At a random house party. Like. What is that? Who took you to the party? It was me and Lauren Greenberg went. Oh. Okay.

Yeah. It was like. Lauren Greenberg does know the cool people. It was a group. Well I think I. It was Angela's party. Okay. But it was like a multiple birthday party.

Angela knows the cool people too. Yeah. And not that anyone in this story is cool, me or Dave, but yeah, like that instinct to hide from someone you view as attractive. It's like, oh,

I, I'm going to fuck it up. So I may as well not go near them. Right. I don't know if that's what it is or like being like afraid of like. Rejection. Rejection. Rejection.

Or like, what if it works out? I mean, maybe, but I, it's, I am a fool. Like I cannot formulate sentences. I'm just like kind of stumbling over myself. I'm really awkward, kind of stiff and rigid. Won't do eye contact like at all. Like I become like just a kid almost.

But so if I'm, if you're a guy and I've flirted with you with ease, I don't like you. So sorry. It's so sad for you. It's so sad. Like if I've done it. There's so many like hands that are like uncuffing. Yeah, but you know what I mean? You can wink at somebody you don't like. Like you do so many things.

I just knew because I was friends with todd before we were like romantic and i just when i started to have a crush on him i could not stop laughing like he would say stuff and i would be like doubled over like crying laughing and then i was like stunting i made him i think i told you guys this i made him he said something there was something about like i was like teasing him about banging his dad or something i don't know how it got there but i was like who do you bang and i was like i don't know why it was so funny but um so then i went on his facebook and i found a picture of his actual dad i've never told his dad and i and i had shown him this like really like ridiculous dick pic i got once and i took the dick from the dick pic and i put

it on todd and i photoshopped him like penetrating his father and i sent it to him like a hundred times in a row you are supposed to be with a guy who has lizards i just want you to know you're in the right place i'm a skink mother now guys guys. The skink loves me. They resonate with my gravelly voice. You are in the right place. I have a... My voice sounds like their skin look. They love me. They love me.

Oh, God. But, yep. I just sent that. That's so funny to me how you just... I mean, that any other person would have been like, what is this girl doing? But then he was like, I can't tell if she likes me. And then he was like, his friends were like, she likes you.

She just sent you like a hundred. I like, honestly, though, like if you had done that to me, like when you first, nothing would be funnier to me. Like, that's exactly how I want people to befriend me. Like go so over the top, like obnoxiously inappropriate. And that's how i'll feel the most comfortable with you it's not like i'd met his dad or anything like i just found a picture of his dad i just went on facebook and found it and i love his that's the thing you did when i

first met you yeah you are over the top you want to see my tits why was that both of our things wait that okay that's actually so damning of me wait i did that with both of you in the green room yeah you were like you want to see my boobs because i wanted to see yours yeah yours i just pulled out yeah it was a fast one i knew i was like i've heard of her i know we have the same we have the same manager we're the same people just look a little different wait i have a question and i know my answer but i want to know your guys's what do you think is like the hottest profession a guy can have or even just one really hot one that comes to mind editor oh is that not it's so helpful honestly dated one it's great literally the number one I was like oh my god clips this is great oh wait unlimited clips um

fishermen super hot to me um construction worker yeah super like base not basic like uh like blue collar blue collar is really hot for me i want to say i never thought this before and it's not for the reasons that you're gonna think but a chef because there's something about a man that is in a hot kitchen sweaty are you talking about carmy who's that from the bear i did watch the first 30 minutes or the first like he's he can get it yeah army can get it in all directions in every hole he's part of this for sure he's recently divorced the first like he's he can get it yeah army can get it in all directions in every hole he's part of this for sure he's recently divorced that actor is he he's never gonna go for me but also i know stop like there's something about how focused they have to be on their art of making

food like they're so distracted and they're coke heads heads. I love that about them. Yeah, but chefs are angry artists, right? Yes, brooding. Yeah. Todd and I, we have a riddle where we go, which came first, the coke or the cook? The cook or the coke? The coke or the cook? Did being attracted to coke make them chefs?

Or did being in the kitchen make them coke heads? You know who the hottest chef is though who do you guys know who kristin kish is no yes oh she is i've never seen are you talking about from um top chef yeah yeah she's she is freaking gorgeous and in person even like just perfection every asian that's ever existed well she did our show i don't know every asian asian because they all do her show asians all i'm like always so like i i just know i can name drop you and meet any asian well the la asian scene i feel like it's a little bit like tighter it's so good yeah it's so you know it's better than a name drop

what when you finally drop the tattoo but wait there's something i have this like weird fantasy of honestly like just a guy like dave like just in the kitchen like really obsessed over his cooking and then like ignoring you yes and then i come in and he's like get away and i'm like no please and then you know what you say to that what heard chef or yes chef that's how you respond to him oh wait would you get hotter i feel like that? What? Heard, chef. Or yes, chef. That's how you respond to him. Oh, wait. This is getting hotter. I feel like you would like a yes, chef.

Yes, chef. Yes, chef. Would you be a sous chef? Yeah. Wait, what is that? You're like their right-hand man. They tell you what to do. Yes, I have such right-hand man.

I could be the best at anything. You take me out. You're single. You're swimming, right? Goodbye. Yoga. You're single. You need a wingman, honey.

Oh, both of us together would kill it. Wait, wait a second. I'm not even kidding you guys. I need this to happen because you've never winged me not once. We will hook you up. I've been going out in the wild by myself and not getting a lot of luck. You need us.

Yes. And we can suss them out for you. But I need you to be on some drugs because I'm going to be drinking. You actually don't need us to be on drugs. Just a little bit because then I'll be really insecure about the way I'm behaving.

We're fools. We act like that anyway. Do you remember your karaoke party? Oh, that's right. But do you remember it? But legally, do you remember? A little slightly blurry, but. No, we will go up.

Esther going on that karaoke and singing the first two lines and being like, do I have to sing the whole song? Going up with so much like gusto and so into it and then getting so bored one second in. But Dave just being so angry and then hogging the karaoke book yeah dave any of my friends who are like a little bit too much like me like jenna or roomie like he gets like he treats them like mean he treats all of your friends like that like a little bit so nice to me though he's so nice to you he is only ever nice to klyla but he's so mean that would make i would be so triggered he he's if he was being nice to kalilah i'll know i still to this day i'll never forget that walk wait i'll never forget that walk when annie got dave and annie made dave laugh

and then she brought up every day for the next 10 years i was no i was literally working with sasha baron cohen like making sasha baron Cohen laugh, coming to her house and be like, Dave, nothing. Nothing. Nathan Fielder today laughed at my joke. Not you. I'm like, do you want me to replay what they said? You know what's going to really hurt your feelings? He laughs at what he said.

The way Dave greets me when he sees me. His body does this. He goes, Kalila. Well, because you take a lot of the heat off of him. He's like, maybe i'll get a break from the anxiety but i kind of feel the same way for him when i see him i'm like dave like it is so sweet to see there's something i feel excited to see too no no no he's just a guy you're excited to see and then he just he slithers off into like one of my skinks into a room.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Life is hard. We've been through a lot. Things are crazy. We're getting back on track, everyone. And sometimes in life, we're faced with tough choices and the path forward isn't always clear. Whether you're dealing with decisions around your career, your relationships or anything else, therapy helps you stay connected to what you really want while you navigate life so you can move forward with confidence and excitement. Trusting yourself to make decisions that align with your values is like anything. The more you practice it, the easier it gets. And if you're thinking of starting therapy,

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And they're sourced from small family farms and grown organically. Ready for a good time without the guesswork? Order your THC products from Mood today and for 20% off your first order and free gummies go to hellomood.com and use promo code trash tuesday that's hellomood.com promo code trash tuesday for 20% off your order and free gummies. After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan i thought where's the catch but after talking to

them it all made sense there isn't one mint mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online they don't have retail stores or sales people instead they deliver premium phone plans directly to you as you guys know our friend rick glassman he uses mint mobile i learn about mint mobile through george kimmo george is a busy guy he takes the most business calls and the fact that not a single call is ever dropped and you can use your own phone with any mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans.

Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details bro the foolish what is the bro thing no because i'm like broing down but something no no there's been a shift i'm broing down at i can i tell you what it is? It's Simply Spiked. It's bringing her bro out.

Can you imagine, though, you and me at a party or at a bar? Kali's like, oh, that guy's kind of cute. Do you want me to know why I can't? What? Because you would leave the second it started getting fun. No, that's not. No, no, no, no, no. I had five minutes with her at Whitney's party.

I had five minutes with her. It reignited our friendship. Five minutes. We do it at night where Dave's at a casino, and then you have me all night. You and I, Kali goes, oh, it reignited our friendship. Five minutes. We do it at night where Dave's at a casino and then you have me all night. You and I, Kaya goes, oh, that guy was cute. You and I go right up to him. We fucking go, hey, bro.

We talk to him. We go, hey, bro. Are we wearing backwards hats? We got our pants down below our ass. We're like, hey, bro. You like Eminem? We just start rapping. You will be fucking in 10 minutes. Do we have a dance before we go up are you are you both wearing tims we flash we flash mob them we've gone from

flashers to flash mobbers and then guess what happens and then guess what happens he cringes so hard he runs into her exactly and then they're like look at those buffoons over there they're laughing they're and then we part we spread and then this gorgeous goddess walks in she's wearing her outfit from her her karaoke okay but what about if you don't agree with who i find attractive we don't care it's not gonna happen no i don't care you are a trash friend none of us will ever be attracted to the same person but what if he's like you know i can be an uggo chaser sometimes i don't we there's no ugly there's no ugly that's true but i mean sometimes i i go there's vibes you know if i go high i go if i i go real low she walks in on her knees um

mouth wide open a gape um if I think you're not going to, if you're drinking and I think you're off, I'll help you. Okay, what would you say though? Because I've done this before. Before I help you seal the deal, I would make sure. I would go, are you sure I'm seeing these things?

There's a tick. He's got a tick. But I like that stuff. Toretsi? Sign me up, baby. Who doesn't like a bobblehead max did i tell you my brother's threats were like the what's up really you're like he must get along with most men they're like okay dude we said hi okay hello i've done this um i was in um barcelona and i was partying and I was dancing. I want a Barcelona when you say Barcelona.

Why is it when it's said appropriately from someone that's not from there? I was in Barca better. Barca. Barca. And I was I was dancing with my friends and this guy came up behind me. And but I knew that I had drank a good amount of alcohol at this point. So what I did was I went to my friend who I knew had drank the least. And I brought like I dragged this boy's head like I was this I was like, is he ugly? I

just I assumed he didn't speak English for some reason. He just didn't look like a guy that spoke English. I was like, is he ugly? And she was like, uh. I was like, no, no, no. She's like, no, he's really cute. He's really cute. And so I started making out with him, like, on the dance floor, right? Talk about can you imagine if a guy said that? Well, I grabbed her head and pulled her by the hair. Is she ugly?

By the way, she's wet as hell for some reason. I don't know why she's so into this. But I was like, is he the ugly and so we started making out and then afterwards like the party ended we go out to the we we head out and then he was like in english he was like where are you going after this so he understood the whole transaction and was fine with it um his name is adam he's turns out he's from moroc Morocco we're still friends to this day never hooked up sins but I was so embarrassed that I had like audibly really out loud been like is he ugly because he's ugly I won't kiss him tell me he's fucking ugly or not like I was saying it out loud but he didn't he

was just like he thought it was funny he was like oh this is pretty funny it actually is really funny and charming that's hot well if she had been like, he's hideous, it would have been different. And then my friend stepped on a piece of glass and her foot exploded in blood. And it was like a whole thing. That's always so annoying when your friend gets like a serious interview. You're like, oh, my God. The night's over. Or it's just begun.

This part. Like, oh, we're about to be in bright lights. Like, oh, my God. Are you kidding me? And you're like, it's so serious you're like oh my god does anyone have super glue he was actually really hot i'm just like no one's fault you're like oh my god you can't get mad at someone no one to be mad at you're just like oh my god i'm about to have

such a migraine um and he wrote me a postcard for my birthday from Morocco. These guys you think are still your friends are really still holding out. No, this was in 2013. This was a long time ago, 10 years ago. They're not holding out anymore. He doesn't talk to me anymore. He just sends you postcards. I did see he's in the States somewhere, though.

I got to go find my dance floor daddy. Wait, can I tell you guys a DM that we got on our Trust Tuesday account? I've been propositioned by a guy at the gym to bang his wife while he watches. Immediately my mind went to, I wonder what Annie, Esther, and Kalilah would make of the situation. I'm so curious for their thoughts and opinions. And this is from a guy. Getting hit on the gym is always such a thing. I'm always like, I just wanted to work out. But can you believe that?

Like, hey, this guy walks up to this other guy. He's like, will you fuck my wife? Oh, it's a guy. Yeah, it's guy on guy. A guy saying, hey, fuck my wife. Oh, so he's a cuck then. It's different because I'm not a guy. Like, I just don't know

would you do it you think yeah most guys would really yeah I think so it seems like so dicey if she was hot if she was a hot chick yeah she'd be like bro he like grabs her hair

is she ugly I'm on steroids my dick don't work can you fuck her but here's the thing that's your gym that's a place you go to a lot like you can't like you cannot you can't shit where you live yeah you can't shit valid yeah it's just not i i say no i don't like that i used to a lot when I was single on the road, get approached in the middle states. I would always get approached by couples and like sent DMs of like women. And I'm like, I don't want this. Yeah, I'm not interested. Enjoy your relationship. And the worst. I'm not a unicorn. that most girls at least for me if i know someone is trying to unicorn me i couldn't run faster in the opposite direction i think that's one of the worst feelings okay so my hinge and my raya are both set to girls only at the moment just because i just i can meet the boys in the wild whatever and especially on hinge when um the girl is bisexual and you're like oh she's really cute

and maybe you're like oh you want to like you cute. And maybe you're like, oh, you want to like, you know, hit like or whatever. And then she posts a picture of obviously her significant other on there. And you're just like, ew. Like you're just so icked out by the guy that you immediately just like X out of the profile immediately. Yeah, I can only speak personally. I'm not into it. But I can see other people thinking it's exciting and thrilling. And I know people that like it.

I'm not into it, but I can see other people thinking it's exciting and thrilling. And I know people that like it. But that's why they're called unicorns, because it is really so rare to have a girl like be really into that idea of being like the third. Wait, speaking of being the third, there actually was a message about this. Wait, hold on. But also, if you do it, write us back. Wait, actually, I need a second. I just have to go back there again where you switch gyms how long is your membership for they're hard to get out of crunch see i wouldn't if i was that guy being propositioned being propositioned to have sex with that other

guy's wife like there's something about him watching but it's like is this really worth it being watched is i would rather than be there than doing it like i can relate to the voyeur part of it the watching part of it so like i would love okay this is the only way i can be unicorned if like i know a really established couple that I find. In the business. Established in the business. Yeah. If I find the girl and the guy attractive and they're just looking for someone to watch them, I'm the watcher. I'm the girl to ask. Like, I love watching.

Oh, I would watch people. I would do that too. I would watch people bang. All day. I'd be like. I requested. In fact, in fact, this, I will not make out with any of them, engage sexually, but I kind of just want to be like the helper. I don't need to help. I would sit right there. Yeah, I will not make out with any of them, engage sexually, but I kind of just want to be like the helper.

I don't need to help. I would sit right there. Yeah, I will watch. I'll watch anyone have sex. Hit me up. I'll watch. Literally anyone. Okay, same.

Thank you. This is really relieving for me to know. I thought I was like, wait, there's something wrong with me because I always like. Oh, no, there's something wrong with all of us. That's all. We're all. That's how we found each other. Very fucked up.

That's why we have a podcast together and people watch it because we're strange. Okay, here's what the third one, whatever. Okay, this guy sent in, I was in a polyamory for eight months and the third only said she loved my wife in more of a platonic way, but only to me. So he confided in her. only to me so he confided in her the third told him that she doesn't love the wife more than platonically she was really only in it for me as we had flirted for a few months before my wife sought her out after she saw a spicy insta story she put up and asked me do you want to fuck if i wrote those eight months as a script it would be a hit netflix show but everyone would hate us for our flaws well that's so that's why i think any trio like sexually that's so sketchy because look they're already these two are can i just say i i'm only into platonically because this threesome i kind of knew i feel like the only way that would work is if there was like a girl code the girls would have to almost like each other a little bit more

than they like the guy and she approached him first like that's a little sus i don't like that yeah oh wait here's another i guess we're just in gossip corner is that okay yep because people are just sending stuff i have juicy gossip basically one of my brother's friends girlfriends who i don't really like told me that she went to a friend's bachelorette and they all changed in the bride's house in her room and weeks later the bride found women's underwear and no one claimed them brother's friend's girlfriend said she claimed they were hers to make her feel better like she straight up lied and the now husband is cheating and she's just not going to say anything wait i don't understand okay so they were all they went to this girl's house yeah into her room they all changed and then this girl found underwear and it wasn't anyone's underwear so it was from another time with another girl but the girl just like lied and said it was hers to try

to like yeah team or whatever yeah but that's not taking one for the team yeah it's kind of not i mean maybe this girl's annoying and she didn't want to hear her complain about her cheating husband or something maybe it was for herself it was just she was like I don't want to deal with this wait no I know it's it that's weird yeah this one is more trash Tuesday like I had sex with my husband in our bed with the windows open and saw a guy standing in front of his garage across the street clearly watching and trying to be sneaky. I said nothing and let him watch. Cute. But you live there too,

so enjoy that for the rest of your life. Right, but I'm also so down for that kind of. Yeah. I don't know. I love hearing people have sex, the next room over at a hotel. Nothing turns me on more. Hearing it or having it? Having it, hearing it. having it hearing having it hearing

it like if i hear them like oh they're fucking oh i'm like yeah it's one of the perks of a hotel auditory right like you get to imagine anything you want in your head now you just get the the the audio of it so i have a question so there's a guy in my apartment complex who is a guy in my apartment complex who trains people in his garage and his garage is two garages away from mine and Todd's office looks directly into it and I'm always like my trainer's always like out of town and stuff so I'm always every time I see him I'm like how much do you charge you know I'm like and I never go with him because I was like well I was talking to Todd I was like I think it's like hot for Todd to be like looking down on me while I'm getting trained by another guy. And then that's one.

And then two, it's just the convenience of it. It's like right there. Yeah. But then Todd's like, yeah, but when you don't want to work out with him, it's right there. Like you're not going to avoid him when you no longer want to. That is so solid of a point. Like, it's so true. You have to be so careful about like any kind of relationships of any type, like with your neighbors or anything that will ruin your peace.

Yeah. Ruin your comfort and peace in your own home. Yeah. Like my neighbor is like a famous blogger in a different country. Like she's like in whatever, but she lives next to me. A lot of blogs about an annoying girl. Well, like. Is she upside down pineapple lady?

No, no, it's someone else. But like, and she's this like gorgeous, whatever. She's like this gorgeous blonde Swedish woman. And I've always fantasized about like oh my god like the gorgeous blonde next door like we should be friends but I'm like no I don't want I don't want her to know who I am I don't want any social media anything because I just it's like so scary like how that could go wrong well Todd's like that because I'm so chatty with everyone Todd's like we have to in this new place, like, not do this. Because

it can just backfire. He's like, you want it to just be like a, and that way these new neighbors move in. And, you know, I got a little friendly, just a little bit. It was, like, cluster headache time, so I was at home just kind of like, you know. And they moved in, and then

I thought this would be my nightmare. Like, three months after they moved in, the guy was like, hey, I just didn't want to be weird, but I'm like a big fan of yours. And now I'm like, I'm into it. Oh, I like it. What do you like about it? Just they get, you know, to live next to the star and happy for them but i've been starting to get like wrecked and i was like because before i was like i i really was like i don't want people to like know know me or whatever but there's nothing i can do about it i live in an apartment i was locked out of my place

a couple weeks ago and um my neighbor thought it was suspicious at first so he was like oh can i help you i'm like yeah no yeah, no, I live here. And then, because I was just like- Did you get brown-drilled? Yeah, I got brown-drilled a little bit. Look at this cat burglar, this hot cat burglar. Yeah, but he was brown too. And he's like, are you okay?

I'm like, I'm fine. I'm just waiting for the locksmith. But then he brought out beers for me. He was like, here, have this. And he brought out a water. He brought a Simply Spiked Peach. I was like, thank you so he brought out a water he brought a simply spiked peach i was like thank you so much it was really sweet um but i think that was like as neighborly you know that's

if you banged him that's the problem if you like hooked on there i go god have you ever hooked up with a neighbor never that's and in fact when i hear that i'm just like that sounds like such a crazy like hot person's life that i don't have yeah i've never either have you like my neighbor when i was a kid that was the best though oh my god i was so obsessed with him wait really he was so hot and we would just like yeah we would just like hook up like he it was his dad's house so he was there every other weekend and i would just be like it's funny until my parents sold the house even though it was like years later I would always look at his house to see if the lights were on to see if he was there because I was so into him

did that ever become like a problem like a backfire situation maybe for him he hooked up with one of my friends that's a big backfire and how did you did you like see them yeah I was at my he met her through me I was like we hook up but I never was willing to like like piss on my men I was always like so afraid of like being like you're mine I want you to be my guy like and then have them say no so I would always be like whatever it's fine and then I was like oh that's hard but he'd walk by like I'd tink on the window with a knife his dad was like are you being serious I'm like no I'm just fucking with him his dad was like is your daughter like threatening my son no he's still my friend he tried to pull the thing with me though more recently where once I was like with Todd and like definitely like this is my guy

he was like oh I always thought we'd like I'm like you were sure to be in high school, dude. He's like, yeah, but I thought we just like always end up together. I'm like, no. Nice try. People say that it's like, what does it even mean? How do you know? After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch.

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medical journals and sometimes like they tweet out like just an image of something and they were like guess the diagnoses you just like guess or whatever but last week i came across something i'd never seen before usually sometimes there's an extra other people's faces in it so like you could you're like oh my god i know her but then it's the craziest stuff right so usually like more like rare stuff but i came across um this thing called um oral hair leukoplakia and i like i thought of you but i was like why why why it's a green hairy tongue oh and i thought oh my god yours is not just when you think yours is bad like it could be worse so like know that there are green hairy

tongues out of there you love it my tongue it's be it speaks its own language it's a you gave yourself a little lisp when you said that too it's an expressive tongue i don't know people like to talk about the colors that it holds um specifically rick gives me a hard time about my tongue. Of your tie-dyed tongue? Yeah. I like that there's a wordle for nerd nurses. Yeah, yeah, I guess. Is that a competition? No, it's not because I don't know 99% of the stuff on there because they just give you a picture and then you see all the doctors like

putting in their guesses like i'm not a doctor but i like to learn like what they are especially if they're like super rare things is there a cure for a hairy green tongue yeah it probably has to asking for a co-host i i assume it's something you know um like candida related you know like one who's like immunosuppressed yeah i actually do have a question in medical corner which is lately i've been having like a metallic taste in my mouth what is that about anything are you on flossing are you taking lunesta or any type of sleep aids no but i did kind of like mess up a little bit with my lexapro and i kind of missed a few days more than i should have you're like tasting regular again things just do taste metal and then i got back on it is that probably what's causing it

this definitely wasn't the picture the one i saw was really hairy um i don't know, Esther. There's a lot of things that cause a metallic taste in your mouth. Really? A lot of times it is medications, though. So how worried should I be? Not too worried. Just get your Lexapro dosage. I'm not wanting to see this.

Hairy tongues. Annie, do you have any symptoms you want to run by Kalilah while we have her in the doctor's not the correct i'm not the person but go ahead i don't have any current symptoms but i think i've brought this up to you before when i would eat a lot of pastries my discharge was bleaching my underwear and bleaching holes in it oh my god that's so interesting it was getting acidic that i want to know why this was when i was living in brooklyn and i i it was the only thing i changed because i have always kind of had a pretty healthy diet but i had i had just decided okay in the morning i do eat sugary pastries and then when i started

doing it my underwear was getting like i thought something was happening in the wash and then i realized it was my discharge was so acidic that it was bleaching oh my god that is so wild but and then when i stopped eating the pastries it stopped happening did your pastries were they good and did your asshole get like bleach from it too never unfortunately no still in full blackface you know i just it actually looks a lot like that tongue funny you should say full blackface um i just saw a video you know like i went through my spank bank and um i there's a video of me and like reverse cowgirl and my god is my asshole dark you guys like there is no like i mean it's beautiful like i'm a brown girl of course my asshole's dark but like i don't know if you have to be brown i think, I think... I think actually that's an advantage you have

that it looks more... It's like, yeah, it ombres in a little. There's a little too much contrast on the white girls. It's just, you know... Sometimes I give my hair a little fade back there

to kind of blend in. Well, I shouldn't talk about this. I keep talking about my pussy every episode. I have a question for you guys. Based on what Kalilah said last episode, you said something that you don't like possessive men. So is all that Fifty Shades of Grey mythology that every woman was obsessed with it.

Is that a fake fantasy? Or is it real? He was not really possessive as much as he wanted to engage in some type of BDSM stuff, right? That's like dominating. But it's almost like role-playing. He's not actually monitoring.

I saw you say it, monitoring. That was better. Yeah, he's not monitoring like her whereabouts who she's friends with like whether or not she picks up the phone oh my god somebody loves wait was he in the movie andre's like one of them yelled at his wife and got in trouble so like basically like she was under his total control. Yes. Okay. Surrender yourself to me is the premise. Wait. But that's like a thing.

But it still feels like in the spirit of. I'd get taught that for like three hours. But beyond that. Well, you guys all know the story of what happened when I told Dave to do that. I ended up crying. What did you ask him to do? Because wasn't he, he asked you to eat something yeah we went to vegas and i was like you take control order the food and then he did and then

he ordered octopus and was like eat it and i started crying and we had to stop immediately and he tried to break up with you and then your little tentacle came out can i tell you a story what uh-oh get ready i'll start wait did i already talk about um me being an octopus killer no so like i have i've always had like a philosophy because i find octopus just really intelligent like their eyes are really complex i don't watch that grades are really complex i watch the octopus teacher so like you know i've been able to shoot fish and i feel like pretty sad but i went out diving with someone recently and i've always i've always seen octopus and i don't i don't collect them it's gonna hurt you i want to keep eating it oh oh yeah yeah then you like this story

you will love this story no but i you already said the thing about the octopus. Oh, you're fine. Look, it's seafood. You're never going to stop. We know it's your love. So I'm kind of a hypocrite in that I will shoot fish, but then there are some animals I just don't want to touch and I want to leave them alone. One of that is octopus. But I went with a really good diver the last time. And he's kind of like an OG.

And he was like, hey hey you see that right there and he was pointing at an octopus and we were we've been out for five hours in the water i was tired and i didn't have it in me to be like well my philosophy around octopus you know i didn't want to be that girl it was the first time i was diving with him i really also have pick me in us okay yeah i was oh i was hardcore with me and i was like i'm not gonna this guy took me out he doesn't know me i want to like earn my fucking stripes or whatever. So I got the octopus and he was like, okay, like to kill them, you just have to crunch on, find their eyeball and like in the water,

just kind of, you know, crunch on their head and their eye and kill them. And then they turn white. And you think because I like eating it, I would like to hear that. Yeah. Because I caught two that day and they were delicious. I feel like Vanessa would do that. Todd's mom would be like. Yeah, but you do that.

And oh, my God, the amount of like I filled up my mask with tears. Like I obviously didn't show him. I was like, yeah, no problem here. And then I put it in the kui and then I turned around and I just started bawling in the water. Because, you know, it was doing like algebra when he did that. It was doing algebra. How smart are they? How big was it?

It was about Esther's size. It was, you know, and you put the head in your mouth and killed it with your teeth. Like this? Like this? You killed it with your teeth? That's so yucky. And it hurt me. But then I was like, I think that's... Did you eat it?

I was being such a pick me. Of course. Yeah, you have to eat it after. Of course. I wasn't going to kill it just to kill it. No, like you boil it in beer to soften it up. It's delicious. What do I need to do to get you to kill me a lobster?

When it's lobster season, October, you just have to ask me every day. This was a really cold winter, Annie. You're so high fucking maintenance. Give it to me, bitch. You guys, like the texture of octopus is the most scariest, yuckiest thing to me. What? And I can eat scallops. I'm like, cool, you know?

You're talking to a Spanish man like pulpo in like the north of Spain is literally the most delicious thing you will ever taste. If there are slugs out there that our team can't eat octopus, please. Have you ever eaten escargot? Snails? No. Good. We'll have an Esther escargot octopus day. We will not. That I will put my foot down.

No, I don't care. You're off the show. You're off the show. Two against one. Esther, does this not look good to you? The pulpo? Bro. It's butter and garlic. Bro, Esther does this not look good to you the pulpo bro it's butter and garlic bro Esther this I'm like

we need Rick now Rick just comes from the ceiling bro no where did this come from I don't know probably just

we're having a loopy day can I just say I'm too comfortable I don't want to out that we've been together for a long time today. But this happened post-lunch. Something happened when you ate that lunch. Barbecue sauce.

The barbecue sauce. It turned you bro. I got comfortable. This is how I talk three hours into a hangout. Okay, bro. But my friends and I use bro but it's in a an accent it goes my bro

like we do that we're more I would say Esther I take Esther I was not Russian that's how it's well we

it's supposed to be it's my my Armenian friend started it but we all call each other my bro I take Esther more as like a he bro

you know it's like yeah who are just like which person in here are you trying to impress with the bro no literally who would i possibly be trying to impress in this room fancy pete i don't know true you got me there the new guy the new guy richie your barbecue sauce what what dream i use him as an example sorry richie waitie. Wait, I had, this is going to change, shift the mood a little bit. Wait, can I tell you guys something? Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I FaceTimed Todd's parents for Fourth of July.

And Todd was in the other room. And I was like talking to them and it was great. And I got my time with both of them. Then I was like, all right, bye. And I forgot that they're not my parents. And I forgot to bring Todd the phone to even talk to him. Wait, really? I love them so much.

I love them. I was like, oh my God, I had to call them back and bring them over there. I was like, I've fully taken you guys. What did you guys talk about? We talked about all stuff. I don't know. I love his his parents are the best they're so awesome i will say there is something fun especially for people

like our personality types where we like are kind of little babies we love parents like about having a new set of parents so you can kind of like show off for and i just love that like dave's parents are proud of me you know i love that. It's just they're so good. My favorite thing also is to tattle on Dave. I'll be like, well, he did this. And like, yeah, you know, I'm trying to get him to do this. And that's my favorite. Me and Todd's mom could be like, Todd's got fat.

I'll like grab a stump. She's like, show me. And like earlier in our relationship, like Dave would like randomly want to have a cigarette and i'd be like i'll tell your mom and he'd be like no and so then but now i will say if he wanted to i would be chill about it and then kate my todd's older brother's wife is a slug and then his younger brother and her wife like watch all of the all the podcasts everything that's awesome but kate's like a slug slug yeah oh my god wait do you know what is so it's blowing my mind is my niece is 15 isn't that weird yeah i have a 15 year old niece well because my baby niece just turned 11 my first niece and so she's very close to that it's gonna just happen like that wait should our

nieces do the next trash tuesday wait the niece edition yeah jules rudy yeah i brought them to uh to my studio to my annie wood studio what just that we're here again what's so funny you just added a banana an hour ago who cares esther's like i haven't eaten a banana in seven years you guys are fools i'll also do three more episodes tonight like let's go you're a different kind of last today should we do another one after this the barbecue sauce has gone to her head. This is Waffles Rule. This is a Waffles Rule. Oh, no.

I actually agree. It's a Waffles Rule where it's like you're not aware of what you're doing. But do you guys understand that the nieces edition? I brought my nieces to the Input Studio. And it's like, there's like barbed wire. Like the outside of the studio is not cute, but the inside is. My nieces go, Auntie, are we in prison? It was so funny. They felt endangered.

Wait, Esther, I came across an article that I think you wrote. Okay, way to put me on the line. Is it like, hey, bro, let me tell you about how waffles rule. But it's an article called The Case case against travel and basically it talks about why do we travel do we think we become changed by the experience do we travel because we want to be seen as someone who travels basically this this writer is like you know like people who travel are full of shit and it's like i like this yeah like you seek out new experiences you wouldn't normally seek out if you were home. Like, for example, she talks about someone wanting to go see like a certain type of falcon, like a falconry in like Abu Dhabi or something like that.

And you're like, why are you doing this? Why are you seeking out this thing you wouldn't normally do? Why are you trying to not be yourself right now? Okay. I have a hot take here. Maybe you're trying to escape yourself. right now okay i have a hot take here maybe you're trying to escape yourself i actually think that there is so much travel bragging on instagram that especially in the summertime like it has become this like cesspool of people flexing they travel and i'm fucking over it i'm done like if you if you are cool take a trip and

don't post about it like and i love posting i love instagram i love social media but it's so much flex culture showing off performance or what if someone's looking at that and they go oh my god that place is so beautiful i'd love to have my wedding there okay i'm so glad that person posted that picture that is true that's possible travel turns us into the worst version of ourselves while convincing us we're at our best well esther stays the same worst part of herself that's right esther does not change at all except that one trip you went on where did you go to italy or italy with the hawk and i was like this is so she's so fake i was like esther posing and stuff and i was like esther's next to a statue what did these girls slip in her drink just hot girl stuff i i guess like when i've traveled it's usually been because like i i've date i'm dating a boy there and i usually stay like a whole month so it's not as

short term um but i do think you're right about like the whole influencer culture of just getting the whatever it is for the gram that they need whatever backdrop they need and then not even like immersing themselves in like anything about like the country not learning anything but i will say if that is your passion and what now i'm going to kind of like contradict what i said slightly if you are traveling and you're getting the photo you're getting the shot and it's like this creative cool expression you like taking the pictures you like whatever your outfits like that is different and i do respect that and i think that's cool i've seen people do that and rock that and i'm like oh

i i wish i was that but when it's just like now when you when they rock that do you mean like they're like yo bro rock it rock it you gotta try these waffles they rule but like you guys know what i'm talking about where it's just like flexing that where they've been okay i'm gonna counter what you're saying just because let's just let people flex this is what the culture is now this is like how people are making their money. The algorithm's weird. People are like desperate. Just let people like get their hustle on and do what they need to do. I also believe in that. Okay, but wait, segue into, have you guys heard that like, this is so like naughty to bring up, but that basically like a lot of influencers who are just absolutely gorgeous who are always traveling like are

confirmed like escorts in dubai and like apparently it's not just like normal escorting but they they do like really nasty stuff like what i don't know what i want to know escort tourism yeah what do you mean what kind of nasty stuff i don't know i was hoping you would know no look okay so she does bro um my bro let me tell you um i don't know about like you know the middle east or whatever but i can say this about very affluent businessmen in the Philippines. They do still, and they still use this term, concubines. And so I don't know about the actual sex that goes on, how crazy it is, wild or whatever. But a lot of these girls are balling out of control. They have mansions.

They're usually like the third or fourth concubine. And they are not allowed. Okay, third or fourth like concubine and they are not allowed okay the rules are this usually from the people that i know they're not allowed to get pregnant by another man they are allowed to have boyfriends but they're not allowed to be public with that boyfriend um but they have everything they have jet skis they they're like balling out of control they got that jet ski pussy yeah so i don't know if that's the same as like you know escort tourism but i know that there are girls who are lifelong escorts who are living living amazing lives amazing lives that sounds so and they don't even really need like most of these men are married so they maybe like have to have sex with them just sometimes it's very part-time it sounds like yeah it's a very lots of benefits full medical well okay also on the travel thing like like to can you're saying yeah yeah can is like that's i feel

like every hot girl who isn't like an established model is probably that, right? Yeah, I guess that's why I've never been invited. You don't want to bring your cans to Cannes. The travel thing though, like, don't you feel a little bit fatigued by like people almost, their whole personality is vacationing in Italy for the summer? I think some people just like to travel though. That's like, you don't like it particularly that much. I believe that some people like it, but I also believe that they're,

like this article says there's a case against it. Some people make it their entire identity, right? Like that's just what they do. Like they're in Hawaii all the time. It's almost like, I wish I could counter and say that I live there, but like I can't even say that i live there but like i can't even yeah i live there i am there why don't you like traveling nester

um first of all we travel for work and so we do travel that makes being home feel like extra special and good i will say when i did go to italy with my friends like that was fun and i understood it i can like it but i also i'm not going to become a new different fake person when i'm traveling and so i've learned i'm still you're gonna be regular old news yeah sitting in your i'm still me i'm not i don't really go by the fantasy of like oh when i'm in a new place i'm a whole new person sometimes some look sometimes there is that and it's great and it is amazing and it's so valuable but i feel like we almost overestimate the importance of travel these days like i really do i i think it's great i think it's expanding for

your mind and look if you love it if you can afford it, you should do it. But I do think not everyone can afford it. And it's not like you're not living an amazing life if you can't travel. I really believe that. I think that we travel for work is a big thing. And then I think that there is, when you go on vacation, there is like a hustle sometimes. There is a lot of friction done you're like i am not relaxing right like if i'm a person that when i'm in la and it's a day off i can maybe

accomplish one thing why then on a vacation how am i going to do four sightseeing things like that you're tired you're like the yeah the i'm hot i'm hungry i can't find the coffee shop with the right almond milk. Are we on almond now? Almond. It's always changing. It's always changing. Sometimes it's whole milk. Bro, can you not yell at me?

Bro? Bro, can you take it down? I know I triggered you. I talked about milks. Bro? We're already, we're talking about a topic that's already touchy for you. A beautiful vacation. God forbid.

The best was just when she went to Japan. There was a joy when you broke your toe. There was a joy you had. I do need to go. Like, I told Dave, like, we need, I did not go to Japan. But I want to go, I really want to go to Japan. Todd and I have that on our list. Todd just got his passport.

So now I feel like I really want to take him places. But Todd's have that on our list. Todd just got his passport. So now I feel like I really want to take him places. But Todd's not really that into traveling either. He's not like. You know what else? You know what else? I go on vacation. I don't feel the magic. I don't feel changed.

And then I'm like, is there something wrong with me? Am I broken? Yes, look at yourself. And then I feel like. You want to take a mirror with you? I feel like shit. Like I don't see what everyone else is seeing it it makes me think of the curb your enthusiasm where larry david is

looking at the ocean he's like i don't get it yeah honestly it's taken me years to get into the ocean yeah it's taken me so long i was just like there's sand it's hot i'm wet and hot and there was traffic to get here like there's so much friction and any kind of travel or experience it's sometimes a movie with some popcorn and a soda sitting at home playing cards you can't quite beat those what card games are we playing here go fish uno uno davis teaching me how to play poker we should learn because todd plays poker all the time i am learning let's go i want to play with fucking um should learn because Todd plays poker all the time. I am learning. Let's go.

I want to play with fucking Jennifer Tilly. Okay. Wait. I don't think we're ready to go pro. You guys did not care when I brought that up and it was upsetting to me. Oh, no. I absolutely. I love her.

You guys, you swung by the topic. I was like. I will. Wait. Dave was apparently, when we were in Vegas, Vegas he was playing does he go to Hustler I think he goes to I think so but he so we were in Vegas and I'm gonna look up this girl um that he was playing with and I'm like should we get her on the podcast she's a professional first of all she's hot and I was like what the fuck Dave she's a professional Andrea Botez

is that her? yes she's a professional chess player and she's into poker and she's hot Todd's always like you would suck at poker which makes me want to be good at it oh my god she's so pretty what the fuck Dave

see this is what threatens me a girl who can play chess he doesn't care everybody's thinking look at how good our chess is i saw this thing you're technically good at chest this girl asked this question on tiktok um that said what unserious generational curse are you breaking and her example like basically like what your parents did not allow you to do or what your parents did that you would never impose on your children anymore like for example like for me

i don't think i'm gonna force my kids to finish the food on their plate if they're full they're full my parents did not allow me to leave a morsel. We never left a morsel. There was never a morsel left. We were piggy, piggy, piggy, piggy. They never had to worry about that. I wasn't allowed to dress myself. I would for sure allow my kids to dress themselves.

I am not going to have a little slut-dressed kid. Not a fucking chance. I was a little baby slut, and my kid is going to be after it. I'm gonna like force them but i'm gonna i'm gonna guide them to not dress like a hoe how do we do that you guys we know too much we've been molested it's like we know too much we know it's not about that like no matter what you do it's all gonna be a problem like we're gonna fuck up our kid this different ways that we were fucked up like so i'm kind of like i love how we're just saying we're gonna have kids now because whitney i already said i would get knocked out by whoever cream pies me first i just can't that's so unfair

to say that while you look you know what you should do you should have them all do the okie cookie and then you just shove where they jerk off on the cookie. What? What is the ookie cookie? You can't just gloss. You can't just swing by it like Jennifer Tilly over the ookie cookie. You guys just being so like. You cannot Jennifer Tilly the ookie. Guys would jerk off in a circle onto a cookie. Where has this been a thing? Like summer camp. I don't know.

Annie. Hold on. I'm not looking it up. Thank you. You jerk off into a cookie. they would jerk off in a circle into a cookie do you eat the cookie or you i don't know i was never there i've just only been the cookie okay and then what happens how do i do this so they they jerk off and then you shove the cookie up so then you don't know who the dad is it It's just survival of the fittest chip, chocolate chip. That's kind of a really cool competition.

I think the cookie is the last one to finish has to eat the cookie. Has to eat the cookie. Oh, that's what it is? You don't jerk off onto it? You jerk off onto it, but the last person. Pete, why do you hold it? Notice that there's not even a blinking cursor.

Why does he hold that? Because it's a thing. Pete, the fact that you didn't have to look this up. I've heard of it. It's a thing. Yeah. Pete. Listen, if you want to be a bro, bitch, you need to learn.

You just blew it. Your first bro test. You got an F for fake. I get so triggered when my guy friends are like, oh, I guess you're not. You can't handle guy talk. I'm like, no, I'll do it. I'll do anything to be a part of guy talk. I want to. For fake. So triggered when my guy friends are like, oh, I guess you're not and you can't handle guy talk. I'm like, no, I'll do it. I'll do anything to be a part of guy talk. I want to be a guy. But not like that, you know.

Just kind of like. You're not a guy. So is it an ooky kooky summer? A guy isn't like vacations too hard. Are we doing Russian roulette sperm this summer? Kalilah. What? It's only Russian men. Let's get you pregnant. Are we doing Russian roulette sperm this summer? Koala. What?

It's only Russian men. Maybe let's get you pregnant. We'll take you out. Okay. We'll get you pregnant. Okay. We'll baste her. Turkey baste me. And you know what?

Don't even tell me whose sperm it is. Mystery cookie. Just mix it up. Whoever. Just collect, mix it up, and then we'll see. I'll just tell you one thing. It's going to have half of a green hairy tongue. it up whoever just collect mix it up and then we'll see i'll just tell you some one thing it's gonna have half of a green hairy tongue if i have my say have you guys heard of a grandparents

derby people are another thing esther's gonna be have foma that she wasn't invited what basically like derby and est Esther wasn't involved like if my dad was alive I feel like he would be a part of this but you make them run it's like yeah they know oh my god it really is that yeah just watch it's like my dad would do this I know he would but it's basically just a geriatric you know just running the hundred yard dash I don't want to be betting on people hurting their hips you know know? I mean, more than just hurting. I mean, it's probably... It's bad, and once you break that hip, things get rough. Yeah.

Bester, here we go. Okay, Hilden, you missed the face plant. You want to rewind just a little bit? Yeah. This is really smart, because we need to stay active in our own lives. Why do you have a purse on? I always tell my parents... That's not fair. Look at that one guy. He was like so much He was really

You need to stay able bodied cause if they're not useful Oh That one woman does not look that old Do people bet I mean would you bet on your own parents I mean I maybe would I'm not letting my dad My dad is not allowed to run okay

No running, dad. Oh, Corgi. Doggy. And what is it? I miss Randy. Yeah, I would bet on my mom. Oh, I thought. That was tiny.

I'm having a crash from the barbecue chicken salad. You were so high remember I just want everyone to know that you said you could do five more episodes I cannot have snacks here why don't you eat your

oh my god that was so scary don't throw it you survived it and it didn't hurt you it did hurt me look two Kalilah

give me yours do you have another one no do not Kalilah oh sorry I'm not licensing, I swear. You guys, thank you so much. That's my banana. Give it back.

I'm setting a boundary. Give me my banana. I have a boundary that I have to throw another banana at you. One more. Come on. Oh my God, no. She has to do it in threes. Everybody knows the rule of threes. I'm your answer. If you don't do it, something bad is going to happen. Yeah, it's bad luck. You're going to have to yeah it's bad luck you're gonna have to go on vacation

you guys are such older sisters then you should listen to me bitch I wanna go home well I'm trying to end it you guys thank you so much for joining us I love your effort today hey bro I'm gonna get today. Hey, bro.

I'm going to get you. She's really bro-ing down. Thanks, bros. Bros, thank you so much. You do the waffle for us. You rule. Click the subscription link or what is it?

The little bell. Click the bell. Click the bell. Click the bell. And we will see you next week. Eat your potassium. Bitch. Bro. Bro. bro bye bros