Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Esther Meets Molly for EDC

Episode Date: May 23, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors: BetterHelp - Visit our sponsor https://betterHelp.com/trashtuesday today to get 10% off your first month.Simply Spiked - Go to https://drinksimplyspiked.com/trashtuesday to find out how to get your hands on NEW Simply Spiked PeachRocket Money - Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to https://rocketMoney.com/trashtuesday Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Esther Gets a Molly Education From Annie5:35 Dressing Up for EDC and Music Festivals9:00 Sleepovers & Annie’s Activities With Her Mom15:05 Sketchy Counselors 25:07 Chaz Dean Is a Real Person26:06 Eyes Wide Shut Nicole Kidman and a Real Woman’s Body28:03 Full Blown Love Making With a Woman32:06 They’re Talking About Seggs Again!40:00 Andrew Huberman on Women Tears and Male Arousal 48:34 Is It Ok for a Partner to Keep Explicit Photos and Videos of Their Ex?56:02 Filipino Fruit 1:00:31 Telling Guys What You Want1:02:47 Getting a Software Upgrade After Turning a Certain Age1:05:34 Khalyla Is Learning How to Be Alone EDM Music from Epidemic SoundSUPRA by STRLGHT, NIGHTCAP Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 My Pleasure - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-pleasure/id1494518220 AnnieWood - https://www.youtube.com/annielederman Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Andres Rosende

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Have you done Molly molly yes what wait i can't believe that's a real question you're asking her it's so crazy because i we don't like at what in high school it was called ecstasy oh it is that true yeah yeah this show is sponsored by better help find more balance with better help visit betterhelp.com slash trash tuesday today to get 10 off off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Trash Tuesday. Esther, don't you love peaches? Life is more exciting when there's peaches involved. Find out how to get your hands on new Simply Spiked Peach.

That's drinksimplyspiked.com slash Trash Tuesday. Flavored beer naturally flavored with other natural flavors. Simply Spiked Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Celebrate responsibly. Simply Spiked is a trademark of the Simply Orange Shoes Company. Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash Trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash Trash Tuesday. rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday, rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Hey, sluggies. Happy Tuesday. I am on

the road. You can come see me in San Antonio on June 23 and 24 at the LOL Comedy Club. I also will be in Philadelphia in August at the Punchline. And you can see me in Austin, Texas at the Vulcan Gas Company, October 6th through 7th. I also have dates in San Francisco, San Jose, and a lot of really cool places. So go to AnnieLetterman.com slash shows. And you can see me every Thursday at 12 p.m. PST on YouTube on Annie Wood with me and Todd. Come check it out. Hi, slugs. I am so happy and excited to be back on the road sharing my crazy stand up with all of you. We are going to have

so much fun at these shows. I will be in New York City, July 19 through 22. I will be in DC, September 28 and Boston at the Wilbur September 30 and more. Get tickets at estroneis.com. I cannot wait to have fun with you guys this summer and this fall. One time I overheard the older girls in dance class talking about how if you have an O-R-G-A-S-M. I can't't read to me you do that if you have an orgasm uh during is that origami that's when you fold pieces together until you squirt if you have one if you go go during an ecstasy high then you'll never really go go the same again that's some dumb shit that's not true no is it is it harder to come on

molly do you even care to come because everything feels like a cum like yeah i'm not i don't you don't get a living orgasm right you're like yeah you're just when i'm looking at you in that outfit everything feels like a cum thank you i'm trying to figure out this leg harness you guys it's not it's it's louching off the shoulder i never thought i'd say this to you but i think your shoulder might be too small for this i literally my i've never it never occurred to me also before we started rolling i was like just squeeze in it and then i realized it was a shoulder issue and i was like fuck this is not right wait is molly something you've only done like in your younger years i don't like this talk to the hand nonsense talk to the hand is so we can we bring that back has like no one has seriously said that in 35 years talk to the hand i mean this is like not

i think my stepdad does i'll fucking scream at this little hand wait is it something that you do as an adult or just as a teenager everyone does it when's the last time you did molly wait they even have a molly assisted psychotherapy now yes what i swear to god in the same vein that's where it started that's where it came from listen to me bitch no i'm gonna i'm gonna therapy 101 you yes tell her annie tell her that's where it started it started in couples therapy that's where they found out found ecstasy it was a pill they were giving couples so that they would like rekindle their love for each other.

Does anybody want to look that up so I can show Esther how smart I am? I believe you. Don't worry. Wait, so I'm like, I'm like, I have a PhD in drugs. In drogas. That I do believe. In college drugs. That college did not take me eight years to graduate from.

But I'm asking, is Molly something like adults? Okay, you know how like- It's something you would love to do. Yes, adults do it. You know how like cocaine, it's like cool party scene, adults do it. Molly is that. Molly's more. I think Molly and coke are equal.

And why is it called Molly and ecstasy? Ecstasy was just what was around when we were in high school and it was like more coke involved in it and it was like cut with more stuff and then molly is the pure christ how are you alive because i lived baby how are you how have you existed the song without living it's been really hard you've weakened at bernie's yourself through life it's it's not easy it requires a lot of planning and strategy but i am oh no i'm sorry andres i had to pull up like an abstract isn't that the worst when you look something up and it's like not just like a easy answer i got one he pulled up ncbi like that is what we use as a resource for nursing school also is this not the

worst experience when you open something it's like the abstract the introduction you're like are you i'm going to college can i get a w Wikipedia? I tried to stop you from looking it up. I knew this was going to be good. No, because don't you think like, Google needs to be better about having the ones where it's just like the random question you click on it and there's just like one highlighted answer. That's what ChatGPT is for now.

We just ask it with the machine questions and the machine tells us how pretty we are. You guys, I want to say that I think I'm fully tangled and I'm sure I put this all wrong. You're tangled. You're tangled. Did you push it in? The shoe with the nail in it?

Tell everyone what happened. Okay, so I bought these today. You bought them today? Today because I was like, oh, you like had a retail experience today? I did and I never go out to shop. You guys know this. So what happened was

I ordered this for next day pickup on Monday and I went to go pick pick it up on tuesday it wasn't there i went to go pick up yesterday it wasn't there because apparently it's all everything sold out from edc oh yes and so between coachella between stagecoach between there was nothing left this was all that was left this dress and this harness so i was like give me those fucking boots. And when I put them on, there were two nails sticking up. So I impaled myself while putting them in. So I actually, I'm not putting my foot all the way to the... Is this like a Filipino thing that you're good at this? Yeah, because for Easter, we do crucify real people on a cross.

I can't. With your uncle, right? Yes, it's just genetic, guys. She's like, it's just a familiar it's just genetic guys she's like it's stigmata wait pete will you introduce the theme today since it was your idea i mean by the way we need to unpack how it's pete's idea i mean that's what we're trying i'm trying well i heard this thing called edc so very uh producer like i'm like hey uh let's do edc that's it electronic dance music i think it's electric

daisy carnival oh really oh that sounds so that's like the og og but you know what i like about trash tuesday our theme is like we'll like pretend we go to a thing and not go to it yeah well that's by the way the only reason people go to coachella is to dress up yeah which don't well maybe they like listen to them i feel like that wasn't a theme this year though i feel like everyone dressed down for coachella yeah but it's still about how you looked when you were there it's about dressing down like don't you feel like if you were performing at a show like coachella where it's more about how the audience is dressed you'd be like why what the fuck fuck you guys i want all of my audience members to come dressed like they are

on molly ecstasy see i want mine to come candy flipping they are going to a sleepover like they're sleeping like i want to you know what to make it make sense when they fall asleep during your set like they're hugh hefner you know at one of his big parties and like fancy pajamas well i know this must happen to you on the road because people come to my shows dressed like you they're like i wore my esther outfit no like by the way i heard a fan told on you but that you gave away it's so fucked up you literally begged me for sleepover by esther and then a fan told me that you threw it out to the crowd and gave it away what was it was it it was a it was an old it was like one of the ones okay well they they did tell a shitty one no

before it was named it was like one of those i was well they they did tell a shitty one no before it was named it was like one of those i was like i'm not gonna okay i was cleaning out my closet and i was being very realistic i was like okay no no it wasn't a fucking i never gave away your fucking the one i begged by the way you can it's fine no no i gave away your um the one that like remember there was one that was good and i didn't get it and And I was like, why is that one good? And you're like, Dave made that one. Remember when you were the fifth? It was like the pea colored one.

I'm like, sorry, bitch. I can't keep this in my fucking closet forever. Remember when you got naked in front of Dave while he was on his work? And I was like bending over, spreading my butt cheeks. And he was really upset. Like really upset. He was like, can we go on a writer's strike? He was like, can I picket this?

Wait a second. I want to ask you guys. I know you're really into sleepovers, but I was never allowed to go to any of them when I was younger. Would you allow your kids to go on a sleepover today? Wait, that's actually such a good question. Oh, I was never where I said I was going to be. I was like in another state. I was like hitchhiking.

No, young, young, Annie. Like I'm talking about like six seven years old i would have to know the parents i would have to trust the parent and then the setup if there's anyone else in the house like the the person's older brother like i would be so paranoid i don't want to say this because i feel like when you say this you manifest it but my kids will not be getting diddled i'm so sorry it's just like not gonna happen so whatever i have to do to make sure that happens. I think no sleep.

My policy is no sleepovers. You're making me realize like my parents never gave a fuck where I slept. And you didn't get diddled, which is a fucking miracle. I was never allowed sleepovers, but then I got diddled at home. It's like so sad. It's just like took you so long to get hot. And you're still like baby hot, which is the weird thing. Literally, in high school, I met a group of girls.

And we had a sleepover the same night we met. I never went home. My parents never checked. Nobody cared where I slept. Do you guys care where I sleep? Because they were asleep at not even a little bit. They were asleep at nine, bitch. They didn't know.

They didn't care. Wait. You know what your parents tell you, though, because you though because you have this too what i think you do maybe i'm wrong but i think you they taught you like good self-care expand on that like to go to bed at nine and not give a shit that your kid is like up it's like it's like above all like above all like we will get our beauty sleep handle your life bitch adults first like they totally prioritize themselves and you love the rejection of it that's why you want to live back in the basement you're like i want my parents to like not do everything they'll do stuff with you but like you you like that they won't do all did your parents prioritize themselves over you i get the vibes that they did my mom my mom's biggest

mistake she made when she, but she was also like a pushover. Like she wanted us to really like her. So she would like let us do whatever we wanted. And then. Even just hearing that, like a thought that your mom even had enough of a personality to want to be liked. And like my mom is like a blank canvas of a human.

But I think she wants to be like too, but she, she like learned a Stepford Wives way. My mom. Yes. Yeah. But she also likes, I mean, she's like, she's kind of like your, but she, she like learned a Stepford Wives way. My mom. Yes. Yeah. But that's like. But she also likes, I mean, she's like, she's kind of like your mom's basically like more

in the moment than all of us. Like she's like cleaning, folding. It's true. Yes. She is. She's like, there's a task at hand and she's like, stop with your nonsense. Even her voice when we talk to her, like ever, it's like. Right.

She's like, hi. Okay. All right. Sure. I'm in the middle of something, but it's fine. What? Have you ever seen your mom very emotional or like really just fuck like big big emotions oh man not not if me no i've seen my mom drive me to the wrong like she would drive me to like swim class when i was supposed to be going

to school you know like in the wrong place and she would be so mad she's like i'm an idiot like she would literally be like what seemed philip seymour hoffman and and uh boogie nights like i'm a boogie mom i think it's okay we don't even like swim practice um but my mom her biggest mistake she ever made was she sent us to this we lived right by the park the tw park and we're so lucky no that is so lucky i'm jealous i'm blessed i really look back on my life even though i was raped and molested in every hole it's still like worth the location you know what i mean living near a park and i was treated like a park most people came in and out whenever they wanted they climbed you people played basketball inside me and out whenever they wanted they climbed you people played basketball inside me and my they they were able to get nothing but net um

but so they sent us to like the local camp that was at the tw camp and um and we were i'm not even kidding like we walked through my neighbor's yard to get to the camp people would walk through our yard to get to that's how close we're to the park my mom's because she was lazy and didn't want to go pick us up or not lazy let me reframe that i love my mom she was working on whatever extracurricular things she was doing like she was always like writing a book or do it or she worked which is by the way absolutely incredible no no now what she's doing she's on like her third book in the past like four years yeah but to me the fact that you're honestly this is like worth noting the fact that she was

raising you fucks and like then low-key in her private time writing like that's amazing yeah but there's no private time is the thing you know what i mean she also was spending a lot of time in the bathtub reading romance novels and i was was like, can someone teach me to read? I can't read. Can someone show me? I guess it wasn't the right book. It was easier for her to write your papers. But it was out of like love.

Yeah. It was like codependency stuff. Yeah. But so she didn't want to have to like leave her writing to go pick us up from camp. So she signed off a thing that we could leave camp like by ourselves. But she didn't realize there was a wait how old were you we were like seven to ten maybe okay the camp was next to us yeah also there was three of you right so it's like i do see there's you could be looser as a parent when there's three there may have been one that wasn't really like included with the others. Which is who? She may have to dress wild to get attention.

She may have to dress like a kooky 90-year-old woman to get attention. But so we found the loophole in that and realized we could just come home any time of day. It didn't say like they can leave by themselves at this time. It just said they can leave by themselves. So we will go to camp, be like, this is boring, and just come home. My mom would be like, why are you home? Like, you signed the thing, bitch. She wouldn't send you back? I mean, what are we going to go?

We're going to listen to her? We're back already, bitch. Late. We're here. We're watching TV. I'm already getting insight into what kind of parent I'd be because I'd be like,

I paid for you to be at that camp. You're going to be there. You would send your kid to your camp with your heritage? By the way, I recently... Yeah, way yeah yeah yeah it's been a while it's been a while i'm back baby i recently found out that dave was a camp counselor and why did it make me so turned on legit i was like we because you weren't molested so you weren't on lesson you're like, it's desperate to like play like molested and you do read young. So you can still like, thank you.

There's still time. Yeah. Do you, would you not be into like a camp counselor role play because of your reason that I wouldn't be is because I got molested. Everybody. I'm squeezing my yoni egg. I'm squeezing my yoni egg.

The truth is, last time I was in a psychiatric hospital Because I tried to Everybody take a shot So this is the third time I was in a psych hospital This was in Torrance Was your brother alive? My brother was still alive

We were still banging Step brother or pa- Was your brother alive? My brother was still alive. So you were banging him? We were still banging. We were still banging. Wait, that brother or posse? That brother. That brother. That brother. She's had sex with a brother that might be biological. Yeah, but will we ever know?

Will we ever get that answer? But it still counts. Yeah, the sex counted. Okay. But, you know, we'll keep it as a maybe. Wait, do you have dick uh no because he was the brother he was the brother yeah he was the brother best brother stepbrother perfect penis i was like oh my god for being my stepbrother you have a baby second brother his

he was the one who got circumcised a little too much and so his dick wouldn't fully expand and it would hurt him but he had i remember having like a really big untamed bush and but in really sex was great with him um anyways back to my um when i tried to unalive myself when i was 17 and i went to a psych hospital in torrance um right after um i had a counselor there who on my last day helped me pack and he slipped me his number yes oh i remember his name um he was all i'll say is he wore a lot of aeropostale um and i remember that he was a single dad it could be on this episode and i went on a couple dates with him because in my head, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. But I'm like, oh, this was somebody that sat in on all of my sessions and knows that I'm here because I wanted to kill myself, knows all of my psychiatric problems.

16. Did we ever talk about, there was someone that we know. Annie just changing her subject. No, no, no. It's the same subject. It's the same subject. Please let it not be the same subject. Did we ever talk about, you know, we all know someone that had passed away, had taken her own life, and they had found out that she was having like an affair with her therapist.

Do you remember this? Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, wait. Remind me. Yeah. So this really like amazing kind of shiny star took her own life. This was a little while ago.

And then this article came out that she had her psychiatric or psychiatrist had been having an affair with her i did not know about this yes and when i read it i looked him up i went to him he gave me adderall he gave me adderall on day one he gave me weird he gave on day one and he did give me weird vibes but i only went to get adderall anyways how did that come out there was an article about it yeah there was how does everyone know this but me that's really i don't know maybe the twilight zone was doing like a marathon that oh it was new year's day okay fair enough of course she'd know maybe wicked came to the to the yeah but that is fucked up that's a little bit different

that will be coming in 2024 another thing that happened to me that was fucked up, brace yourself, was kind of the opposite. I can bring this back. The first person, the first therapist I ever had was this amazing, amazing guy. He was just a school counselor. And he was incredible. And he helped me really figure out what I was feeling, name my feelings. But then I had a swim coach who... know I can't like this I'm sorry I know thank you for doing that my eyes were doing the nystagmus thing but then I had another adult

in my life who was my swim coach at that time basically call my dad and say hey I think something is something fishy is going on with her therapist oh no and i talked your actual platonic and it actually cock blocked my joy because he was helping me out so much he was so decent so appropriate never ever got any weird vibes from him and i don't know if that's his my my that dude's own projection or if he was seeing something wait the guy who you did hook up with did that i didn't hook up with anybody at this time i like that all of her fighting over wait sorry i was wait you have a little hole in there you can go through it's a little masturbation can i see your masturbational wait wait wait okay but maybe he was seeing an inappropriate maybe he was never there he never met him

he just knew that i was in therapy in school and i never said anything so i was very surprised that when he was like i think he something is going on i'm like what in the fuck are you talking about this person was so decent and so helpful and yeah i i and also i had beef with that coach like he there was something something going on there when i the first time that i was hospitalized and put it in a psych hospital for my first attempt, he announced it to the whole swim team. Really? Yeah, he sat everybody down.

My best friend was on the swim team. I was at BHC and now Hanbrough. It was like, look, that blood that you saw streaming next to Kalilah was not her period. She had slitter res. Imagine how fucked up that is, right? That sounds like 15. You could have just been on vacation or something. They'd to say yeah where you were he sat everyone down he's like guys i just want to let you know that kalilah is in the hospital because she tried to commit suicide

they call you cuckoo they didn't um kiki what was close what on earth could he have thought the point of that i don't know he's trying to fuck listen with kalilah if there's a question it's because they were trying to fuck her yeah but i had a boyfriend that said to me that once that that's me once he goes if you've ever had like an issue with a guy like just really really consider they're mad you didn't fuck them and i was like that's good advice that is actually good but it's awesome that works i really love therapy because therapy can give you the tools that you need to find more balance in your life so you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind. And we are so happy that this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. to get into it's such a big step it's like such a big like like great thing you can do for yourself that when i first started therapy it was you had to find the place that took your insurance you had to find where it was located you had to print out a map quest oh you had to drive you had to find

parking you had to have like an awkward time in the waiting room and then you go in and the therapist you don't even like they don't even you don't even vibe and then you have to start all over again and it's so hard with better help this is like the best way to just kind of start dipping your toe into therapy it's all online you can switch your therapist whenever you want and therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries it empowers you to be the best version of yourself it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma like it can really level up your life no matter what your situation is like even if you don't think you've experienced trauma like it's america something yeah and i really like what you i like that idea that you don't have to wait for a crisis in your life to happen to um

pursue therapy. I think therapy is for everybody. It's a good place to just lay your heavy thoughts down or, you know, have somebody, an unbiased professional be there to kind of like work out, you know, aspects of your life, even if it's not even if you're not in a crisis. It's just like I think about it as like keeping your grass green. Hmm. I love that. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday. I believe that life is more exciting when peaches are involved. And that's why we're brought to you by Simply Spiked Peach. From the makers of Simply Spiked Lemonade, Simply Spiked Peach is now available 21 and up only. And it contains alcohol.

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and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online.

They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls and the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own

phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month. And all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month.

New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. On my drive here, I saw a billboard of Chaz Dean. And I wanted to ask you guys, like, is he a real person or is he AI? Real person. Chaz Dean has been real for centuries he's a he's a hair person yes he's the inventor you know how much this chas dean ruined my life he invented a form of shampoo that is basically

just conditioner so i thought that that oh like this is a life hack you just when yeah yes w-e-n let me tell you that does not work it was really bad i just was like greasy thick lotiony hair wait but when i see all these billboards he almost doesn't look like a real person so i was like wait a second like i mean have you seen nicole goodwin at the amc thing i've been going to see so many horror movies and we todd and i always scream when nicole kidden goes on search like oh the movie didn't start yet love to nicole we'd love to have you on the show i watched eyes wide shut it's oh we just watched it too you did yes so good it's so eerie and i had no idea it was gonna be so weird it was so amazing and didn't it make you want to do pilates with that fucking nicole kidman body i have to say

gotta be pilates no no no i have to say that i was like i'm so much more into my body than like that respect she's beautiful but I thought you were going to say Tom Cruise. Like this super, I'm actually, I'm like, this is where I'm grateful for the Kardashians is like this super tall, super thin, like perfect ideal woman. I'm like, it's not, it doesn't do it for me. They did start making people tall sideways though. You'd have to really,

maybe your diaper butt can count as it. Yeah, no, but i just think like i really do i don't know maybe this is me becoming like more lesbian but like i love a real woman's body wait i do too if i think about girls i'm attracted to yeah i i always think of a little bit more meat thickness but you know what but you know what i will say about softness soft and meaty nicole kipton's body and eyes wide shut that i liked as a small titty committee i loved fair enough the boot the little boobies i loved but she doesn't have those small boobs anymore why not but she has implants but it was like a weird it was a weird thing to see um big little eyes you didn't see i don't remember yeah it's just it's weird to see the progression for

sure yeah it's like oh my god I forgot my stickers, you guys. That was the essential part of my outfit. I thought I had glitter too. For some reason, I just thought there'd be glitter in my car. I told Kalilah, I was like, I think I have glitter in my car somewhere. No, this is. There wasn't. There's a lot of other stuff in there though.

Speaking of eyes wide shut, I got these. Oh. Does that go for each label? For each boob. It says I'm horny. I have a banana tattoo. Oh, my God. Now she thinks those fake tattoos are tattoos.

Oh, yeah. This is actually a stock. Esther, I know you don't want to talk about your sexuality, even though we brought it up every single episode. That's the fun part if you don't want to talk about it. I didn't even know that. You don't have to answer this question, but have had full blown sex with just a woman not in the context of a threesome just with a woman no not full blown doesn't she look disappointed in herself yeah it's

not okay i feel bad for you thank you i love that's my favorite place to be it's when people feel bad for me that's my comfort zone because well I just feel like you deserve that experience right now a lot of people at home are making you feel real comfortable you guys had full mine is always in the context of a threesome but I had no I had with just a girl but I told you she got like two knuckles in and I was like do you want to smoke in Newport what are we we doing here? She had like short hair. She had masculine traits. And she was very interested in me exploring whether or not I was a lesbian. But I just had never really felt that way.

Wasn't she pushy though? She was a little pushy. She was a little seed planty. But I was susceptible to be seeded so i was fertile there was fertile ground fertile um but and i'm glad that i tried it and stuff but in the end i just it wasn't um like a hard dick when you had a threesome with a fellow peer of ours oh my god comedian who will remain nameless when she sent me a picture of one of the ones she like she just sends me pictures of like the the place we went to when you had a threesome

did you guys have any interaction yes you did yeah yeah we made out play with each other's boobs yeah but that's fun that's crazy i'm like it like in shock. It was really, you know what? I will be honest. I did feel very like sexual. Like I felt like really like I felt very in my element having two people there and like one's a girl and one's a guy. It just felt good because I think I'm like pretty masculine in my life. So it was like to be able to be feminine and masculine with two different people. I love that. Whoa.

I feel like, yeah yeah one of my best friends i've definitely had a threesome with and we're still good friends i just saw her last week is there any does she fly at your pussy first when he's there and you know what she's really soft and meaty she's really really like thick beautiful like meaty body but no we had this thing when i was in in ibiza when i was in ibiza we we had when we were in ibiza uh 2012 i thought we were gonna be like two weeks ago we trashed tuesday there that's episodes are coming wait andres just for our own enjoyment can you say the word ibiza ibiza okay ibiza learned today we learn, Andres, are you like a permanent part of our show now? I'm the new fixture, yes.

And what's, okay, wow. Should we like welcome you? What if people don't know you? Wait, Fancy, have you been to a rave? I have, yeah. Where? That's where you got your name, right? Right.

He's quite a dancer. Are you a good dancer? I am. He is a good dancer. Yeah. Do you think that comes with your like heritage? It's just in the blood, yeah. Yeah.

It's like you roll your R's and you can also- Right. You're like a real man. Like you're a husband and a father and like you work. What is that like? And you have a Castilian accent when you speak. So you do like- I do, I do have the beta.

It's cute. Good, I like this better than bad friends I can already think why this energy is better we're not abusing you I don't receive compliments

usually we have to do both we have to keep it even right right well it's like we have two like husband daddies here

right they need to keep us in line they're just like my ladies are breastfeeding what are my other ladies up to? It's so funny.

P came up with this idea. And then I was like, oh my God, is P like a secret raver? And then he was like, no, I just heard about it. I was like, oh. I thought we were like unfolding something. I had this thought besides Chazdeen being an AI on the way over. Like, when do you think sex became a private thing to do? Like, you know, in the animal world where, you know, we're supposed to come from apes and every, you know, apes just fuck anywhere in front of us.

There's no regard for privacy. When in that lineage do you think someone said, I think this should be behind closed doors and should it really be behind closed doors or just we have we just been programmed to believe that that's the right thing it has to be religion it's got to be religion it's got to be religion it's definitely religion and then you know in the 60s it was like the undoing of that and then it was like everyone's getting herpes and everything so then they're all right, maybe we should close this down a little bit. Wait, Andres, do you know,

is it really Catholicism? Well, because if you think about like when the Romans and the Greeks were, you know, they would have, sexuality was way more lively. Right. Even homosexuality.

The middle ages came in with the church and that was like. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Andres, are you 23 or 47? even homosexuality middle ages came in with the church and that was can I ask you a question yeah Andres are you 23 or 47 neither but are you 35

I'm gonna guess 41 no that's is that Dave's age 43 no Dave is so much older than that

so you guys how old are you Pete wait wait wait I wanna guess I wanna guess look at me you're 43 40 30 39 no he's younger than he looks his wife's puerto rican he knocked her up right away is she spanish oh she is i thought she was i can't wait for all the comments to like imagine if they get if they this is the other way around it's also like those people why are you watching this is for girls and

cool guys okay not guys that are like i can't wait to poke holes in women's stories like what it's like this is not for you comment on the reddit we know you guys are on reddit go to reddit my favorite is like when they try to poke holes in your molestation stories no they don't what well yeah my dad doesn't believe you guys that's right that's right um um but no i i was just thinking to myself it's like did the catholics just inject shame into everything into the fun stuff they were like enough fun what bring shame wait can i say more to the yes the trolls i actually like that you're here because it's funny to me the idea that they're just watching getting so mad every time we like talk about something that's like feminine god these girls are talking about girl things this is so annoying these girls being girls. They're talking about sex again.

I feel like I should have fucked them all the time. But don't talk about it. It's like, you guys, we know your secret. You're biologically programmed to want to fuck us at all times. I'm sorry. It's like, shut up. They're like, pick which one they like. By the way, you competitively throw us against each other.

I'd fuck this one over this one. But I wouldn't throw this one out of bed it's like you guys are sitting there deciding whether two girls that will never touch you wait only two me though i'll fuck them three i thought he said two girls those are the lesbians listen i've seen some girls that look like boys at these shows and you have a better chance with that story i will say that okay i didn't even had you in i'm not really here to i don't count as a person holy no but yeah oh you know what i actually do like is the the people who comment that they watch this like before jerking off they they're like, this is like a soft way in to getting horny. Like that, I'm like, okay, that's like somebody like, you know. Or they give you the timestamp of when they came.

Like, that's pretty early in. Okay, girls. It's creative. I like it because you know what? Sometimes just straight up porn is boring and you need to really like set the tone. You need to kind of get mad at some girls for talking about sex when you're jerking off. You're like, oh, my God. you're really ruining my boner talking about sex yeah they want us to go slower and be more innocent it's just so funny todd's up and he's

like what are these men doing on here like why would they go to a girl's podcast and expecting to be like boy talking about boys like talking like boys. Yeah. Maybe my fans. It makes sense. Wait. I know Asa Akira told me this like years ago. But speaking of men's coming, men's arousal. Wait, I know. I'm still mad that it's Catholics that ruin sex for all of us.

I'm Jewish. That's not fair to me. You don't think the Jews care about. We have sex to like reclaim this. They that's everybody would like that. There's no one saying no, except maybe your parents are like, Esther, come on. Like the only problem is that like, I wouldn't want some dude just swinging his dick around and following me anywhere. Right.

But if it's just two people like consensually being like, you know, why can't we fuck right here? I do not want to publicly have sex. That's a choice. But I'm just saying like. There could be a couple of people in the room, but I don't want like a crowd to form around and be like go go correct me if i'm wrong though would you you you would take a shit on national television though right that's a vibe i get not like i would have like my asshole spread but like i'll be on the toilet squeezing i don't want the camera to be like in

the toilet all right right the opening of your stand-up special? By the way, trying to squeeze one out before you get on stage, that's relatable. It is relatable. Listen, especially that Comedy Store bathroom. Sometimes I hear them saying my name and I'm like, I have not even pulled the toilet paper. I'm like, be right there. Wait, okay, Kalilah, what about men coming? Do you have a headache or are you pushing your stickers? I don't know what I'm doing. so um do you have a headache are you pushing your

stickers i don't know what i'm doing i don't it's weird to have a hairstyle it's like a foreign so cute thank you i know it feels like you would wear that a lot be like do you want to think about me blowing you okay wait also because you said that told me that like not to make you guys uncomfortable but i do want to ask the boys when a girl when you see a girl putting her hair back is that like automatically make you think of blowjobs yeah no and not they're at work they're wait what do you mean like in a ponytail literally just a girl going like this is like makes every man think of a blowjob is what i what i can't even do this anymore no that's sexually assaulting men i mean your mouth is very like blowjobby yeah i know i have blowjob mouth i know it's a curse kind of like a little

bit like hot scrapey teeth no so i have like a little draggy could drag yeah if you like slight drag i will slide drag i give like a like a prickly mustache blowjob you know i'm so lazy that when i give a blowjob it's extra throat saliva and i do a lot of like half hand so i just don't like it's just just sloppy so it's good it's good because i i that's a life hack for me it's like if you're lazy hey how do we get this done we get through it get what through what you just finished how do we finish the blowjob we got stuff to do yeah i think mine have been called like like angel so it's like come on we gotta get some clips going yeah i'm sorry if that is the clip done yeah if you require like a beach to complete like no thank you don't date me like

the blowjob should be the beginning of yeah yeah and you can come in my mouth but we're not gonna do it from beginning to end like that is not why did you take it like she said that to you to defend you i unless you're like a three minute guy then i'm all about it yes that it's like thank you jesus for giving me this sweet sweet like this the same topic as the men coming topic you were trying to get to or no this is different so the the the thing i wanted to ask we'll talk about was basically this that they did a study and i huberman talked about it recently but i actually heard about this study long ago when i uh i was podcasting with asakira and she basically says that um well the

study basically says that um crying and tears has a hormonal effect on men's arousal so um in this experiment where men um there was a control group and then there was uh women's like tears that they would have to smell um there was an effect on their hormone for so they decrease their rivals when they see a woman cry basically decrease i've not had that experience and second of all it's a meaner man yeah so i was like oh my god my god because i've kind of had the opposite effect no i have guys my ex-boyfriend was like you look so hot when you cry and i'm like same with bobby he would see me like we're gonna get into a fight is that why you do this to me is that why you're yelling at me but then I had recently started dating another guy and when I would be vulnerable

and cry he would call it the intimacy boners he was like oh I feel honored that you're telling me this stuff and you're emotional did it make you less horny though no it didn't is this science you're healing I am healing. I'm like, oh my God, this is sweet. No, no, no, because I saw the study and that's why I was so surprised by it. It says that when men smell women's tears, it decreases arousal. But you both are spreading lies that that is not the case. You guys think that men get horny from tears.

Is this like your fight because you're on like an antidepressant can't cry or something why are you taking this so personally i'm just so i think i'm not i think the science is you're like i haven't cried in months and nobody's had a boner you guys it's either you guys or the science when was the last time you cried in front of a guy in front of your partner i cried at intermission of wicked a few no that doesn't count did you think dave's boner did he fuck you that night wait were you crying because you were moved because there was still half of the show left or because you weren't in it or because

by the way david irons saying you paid for the twitter mark we don't care no it went away i lost my check mark yesterday i know it's i know how suspicious it's i swear i want to tell you i was in so much cycle and yesterday by the way the cycle ended the billing cycle i would know it had to be esther it happened you know i did not pay for twitter blue i had a check mark and it's gone now mysteriously you can cross your legs as much as you want. I'm happy. We know what's inside. We know the truth. Crossies don't count or whatever.

Wait, no. I'm happy to be one of the people now. I have no blue checkmark. I'm just like you. I'm just like all of you. My people. The day it mattered is over. There was one day where it was the coolest thing in the world and I have a checkmark.

And you missed that. That is so unfair. You were the only one i was crying she texted me last night and she was like the twitter mark thing is real i'm like yeah well i looked at mine i wasn't even really aware because i was just what i was talking about in the last episode was instagram verification yeah i wasn't even aware of what you guys were talking about so i look back i was like oh I don't have my blue check mark anymore. Neither does Bobby.

Neither does anyone I know. Mine is gone now. And I know the timing is weird. You didn't do recurring payments? Wait, she used rocket money. It's so unfair that this is happening. I would be so honest about paying. i would be proud to invest in my career that way i would be so proud of that payment guys please use rocket money just like your queen esther

wait but you guys all the cool boys that are listening to this i i want to know we want to know like if if you see a girl cry like what, what do you, like, can you take note of that feeling? Is it, like, up? Is it going down? Or is it a neutral, like, no net effect? Like, I really do want to know. Okay, this is what, I have a theory. Okay. If this is somehow about my checkmark, you're fired.

Get over yourself. Ew. You have the kind of ego of someone that would pay for their checkmark. Wait, Annie, you did dress like a blue checkmark. We're not talking about you. Ew. Unfair. You're sitting like a check mark i i mean esther if i had been more well i would have been going so hard on you on twitter i was just i was not not well but um what's your theory okay so my boyfriend be like he would literally time out fights me like you look really fun i mean this is when i'm like it's not bubble crying you know what i realized

you know what i think it was it's filler natural filler your face is like your lips get puffy the salt yes i forgot you do look hotter after you cry oh majorly especially if you have a big night like night before cry the morning after when you wake up you have natural fox eye wait what is you have fox eye right now is it the makeup it's a makeup i don't have the threads bitch i will never get the threads those things they stay in but then they don't work for that long well no you also like the um the risk of having them exposed and like so that's almost like having a check mark when no one else does to have your friends exposed but i do want to try micro needling i do want to try it with you guys like i'm kind of afraid to do it can you explain what threads are for people who don't i i don't i just know that they put threads under your skin to lift certain parts of your face and that is terrifying for you

know what i had no i was gonna say i had a hair person recently ask if they could tape your face you can do without permission ask if they could tape do face tape yes and I was like okay for a second and they did it and I was like was that for one of your paparazzi picture like oh my god Esther's coming from the surgeon no but I will never do like I did it for two seconds I was like I don't want a single photo with it because I don't I don't want filters I don't want like do you remember the one Clayton posted of you that was like it really was the best picture I've ever seen yeah he probably like it was so gorgeous that I and I remember you were like oh I think he had facetuned or whatever and then I was like I pay some rocket money I pay so much money to facetune because I want to like replicate what he there's. It's impossible.

He's an artist. He has a form. He's a touch. I don't ever want to be facetaped because you guys, when you do this, when you take the facetape off, you're going to look worse. You're going to hate yourself more. I'm so against that. I look, I think you can look good for a day and still love yourself after.

No, I don't think so. You need to do breath work, bitch. You know what I'm going to do with my parents? My parents want me to do like a makeover with them where I get the tape. For you? For them. Oh. Oh my God.

Your parents are so different from mine. It's like, get the tape. No, my parents want me to do like suck their double chins and stuff into a photo shoot with them. That'd be kind of cute. No, next family vacation, I'm getting it for them. Yeah, shoot with them. That'd be kind of cute. Next family vacation. I'm getting it for them. Yeah, I feel like.

It's so funny to see them all sucked up. Yeah. It's the funniest thing in the entire world. My dad. I'm weird. I'm. Scott Letterman. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,

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New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. Statement mobile for details. I have a question for you both. I really want you to think about this long and hard. She said long and hard. I guess what it's going to be about. Oh, well, everyone should be so mad. It's all she talks about is sex is it okay that your partner has nudes and videos of exes in his hidden folder oh i'm so glad you brought this up no do you know what's in dave's hidden folder there there is no hidden folder are you sure is well hidden i would never ever date someone who has hot exes

that's never gonna happen that's never happening he she needs to be the yeah there's not a chance if you have a hot ex i will never even look at you so you'll do intel before you even get serious with a guy like you need to see what his the lay of the land and his exit what do you know okay you go what do you think i was on todd's phone going through his pictures, and I saw a picture of my ass, and I was like, oh, I look pretty good. Oh, that's not my ass. And I was like, Todd, and he's like, I literally cannot delete this. He's like, this ex would kill me.

We talked about it on Annie Wood. He's like, she would be so upset if she knew I had this. He's like, I swear I don't look at them. I totally believe him. He's like, I can't get it off. I go, give it to me. I'm looking. There's literally no way to delete it.

It's really weird. Wait, what are you talking about? I looked at it. There's no way to delete it it's really weird i looked at it there's no way to delete it he's like show me how to delete it it's on a phone it's like an i think it's because i got transferred my other phone or something i have no clue so it's like but he literally can't hear let me facetime it's a it's a it's an ex's ass it's like his photo album with her but he's like i don't want to she would be so upset if i had this why because they broke up she doesn't want him to have pictures of her and do you does it make i know her i like her i think she's so you don't care at all it doesn't i don't i 100 trust on and and when he said it i was like what the hell is this and i was like you know it's like and i told you his dms i look at

his dms all the time constantly you do, we're all on each other's phones. We're talking about boyfriends having pictures of their exes on their phone. Oh, my. Everybody, look at Todd. Tell us, why can't you delete it? Because they don't believe me. Because I saw it, and I knew you couldn't delete it. And you tried to delete it. I did try to delete it.

I don't know how to delete it. He sounds like he's lying, but I swear. How upset would this girl be? She would be so livid. She'd be so mad, but I don't know how to delete it. She's a sweet girl. I know her. She's sweet.

I just got to get a new phone. I've been trying to get you. He doesn't want a new phone because I'm going to make him. We found out Dave takes her paparazzi pictures. He doesn't want to have to take paparazzi pictures of me because his phone's full. Will Dave really take some of me? I love you. Oh, yay.

Back to my point about partners having whatever, spank bank, and videos and pictures of exes in their hidden folder. I'll say this. I had a problem with it until i checked my own hidden folder and i was like oh like i'm a hypocrite because i cannot get rid of any of this stuff so i judge myself on my intention as a person where i'm like well no like i'm keeping this for nostalgia and you actually like jerk it to that sometimes that's never like while i was in a relationship but in between relationships i would look at them and i'd be like fuck that was hot wait okay is this a normal thing like thinking about past sexual experiences i feel like guys do this but i've never done this

have you done this andy like thinking about an ex and getting off to that no i don't like any of my exes also i'm more of a sender of pictures than a getter of pictures i'm not i don't need any pictures well okay so my stuff is more sex with the people that's what it's i don't keep dick pics like at all like at all i don't feel like there's any need for them i never ask for them um but i do like watching myself like you know do stuff oh i don't like that i like it i like i have videos of dudes eating my pussy and do they know you're taking them or you're like yeah i was like so this is what i never have amnesia of the top of their head because you're wearing a gopro it's always like a little like they have this sign thing that basically like agrees to the fact that i have a gopro mounted at all times i feel like people's bodies in porn are so

perfect in every way that like if i took video of myself having sex and then saw it i would instantly be like the saddest I've ever been in my life because I would just look so like short and ugly. That's how you view yourself. But I'm guessing if suppose you and Dave broke up and she stumbled onto whatever sex videos or photos, she'd be sweating, sweating. So, yeah. What's the verdict?

Is it OK? No. OK, got it. It okay got it it's not it's not right get these bitches pictures off your phone todd can't i believe him i believe him and it's like you know if it's something he fights for so hard that's weird why is he fighting so hard okay good point like why would he like why would that be such a big argument to be like oh does this make you uncomfortable okay i'll just delete them i guess i respect you how you feel that is the question so if if my partner did ask me to delete it if it made him uncomfortable be like of course and then put it in a more hidden hidden hidden but the other thing that i have learned which i learned this from a beverly

hills mom that i was a babysitter for she I she's like keep them on a long leash which that essentially means like whenever you tell a guy like oh you can't have this you can't do that I feel like that just makes them want it more and you're just like you're screwing yourself over yeah but then you're kind of not like that the burden is on you to do the work why can't they themselves have the like why do you have to kind of like handhold a guy into not doing something like why can't it just come from them to be like you know what i'm not gonna do this because maybe they don't know that it's something that bothers you or maybe they're just like not aligned that way but it's like if you if you're being extra jealous right but your boyfriend loves you then they should be supportive of you working through your jealousy and getting over your

jealousy but just like if your girlfriend doesn't care delete them or keep them yeah if your girlfriend cares delete them it just doesn't seem like i think it's okay only if she's not hotter than me yeah keep looking at those uggos that's my bottom line like if you're like only if you do a split shot of me yeah only if you watch me right after then i'm good um but you brought this up recently that like it actually does affect men's brains if they look at photos of beautiful women like on instagram or in porn or whatever and i've always been so confident and chill about that like i don't care what guys are looking at but like you're saying it actually will make us look uglier to them it can it's not it's not a hundred percent it will it can for some men yeah to look at idealized photos of women and i think like dave doesn't seem like that type of guy neither does todd like do they these people

look at that phone though um but i want to know something i want to i want your opinion on this i recently went home to the philippines and something was revealed to me that was very, very shocking from my family. All this, you know, everyone's just like, oh, COVID started in China. These fucking Bobby, you know, saying a bunch of like racist things about like Chinese people and COVID and whatnot. Right. I was in a van with like 16 of my family members and everyone was like what's your favorite fruit because like there's a lot of fruits in the Philippines that you like you've never even heard of and they're so freaking good and so we're like oh Santo Tambes and we're naming all of them and all like all of them and then one of my cousins like oh like Kwaknet and we looked

at her and we're like wait that's not a fruit that's a fruit bat and she goes her and we're like, wait, that's not a fruit. That's a fruit bat. And she goes, oh. And I was like, yeah, that's a fucking flying rodent. That's not a type of fruit. And she was like, yeah, we shoot and eat them all the time. So I think that my family started COVID, you guys. I think patient zero is somewhere in my family. There's no such thing as bad publicity, guys. Kalilah says it here she started covid

come get her guys it's it started somewhere yeah in the aves lineage like that is and um i couldn't believe it i'm like okay i really want you to start like a niche filipino smoothie shop with all those flavors is that possible i think people are already catching on to Filipino flavors, which is like ube. Ube is everywhere now. Oh, I love ube. Yeah, but I grew up with ube ice cream, right? So what else?

Calamansi. Calamansi is coming over here now. I think Soursop is coming over, but we still have like maybe 50 more. Soursop might need a rebranding of the name. Soursop. It's so good.

It sounds good too. Oh, banana break. Wow. Wow, thank you. I feel like bananas are the perfect... I was spelunking. I was like cave are the perfect. I was spelunking. I was like cave climbing or whatever. And it was like so muddy and I had mud.

I had nothing to clean myself and I didn't speak really good Spanish or anything. So I was basically just trapped like in mud for my whole body. Did you eat fruit back? And someone gave me a mango and I thought it was a good idea, but it wasn't a cut mango. So I was just biting into it. So I had the strings from the mango stuck in my teeth, but I was too dirty to get them out. So I was in just an absolute hell. Like my teeth were being pushed apart by the... I will say that mango strings, I think, like I can't... Once I eat a a mango i have to have floss nearby because

it's more of like a sensory aversion i have those mango strings get stuck in there and will not move so that's a good point you're making at you don't know mango floss your teeth with the mango strings no they're so like hard and fibrous my fingers either though so there was like no you know, relief. I'm, like, getting so annoyed at mangoes right now because when I think about when they're good, they're so good, but they're always, like, hard and disappointing. Where are you getting your mangoes? They have to be cut. Yeah.

With the, like, slices. Can we have a mango break one week i'll choose the mangoes yeah also i'll bring you filipino mangoes because what's the difference oh they're just heavenly over there we also should do hawaiian papaya break specifically hawaiian oh i know i do not fuck with any other papaya. The big southwestern papayas. No, thank you. No, thank you. I don't know the difference.

I don't know by region. The bigger ones, they smell a little bit more like vomit. Stronger. More vomit leaning. When I threw up all over the bus when we were going to the Mayan ruins when I was on spring break. over the bus when we were going to the Mayan ruins when I was on spring break in high school Cinco de Mayo when I was 14 and we had all been just drinking and getting so fucked up and my school trip went to the ruins I threw up all over everyone and the way the teacher justified it was like oh sometimes people eat papaya and it makes them throw up I said that was what it was wasn't the pina coladas i was thinking annie about how you said you want to give todd like a script for what to say to you

and it made me think of how like disney movies made us think that men will just like act magically the way we need them to act and how we like we're just expecting them to know what we want and actually like i feel like the low-key secret to a good relationship is telling the person oh i like when you bring me this or when you do that and it just was making me think like what are other things we could tell guys like because whenever i've communicated when instead of like me sitting there being like i wish dave would do this like if i just tell him he always says to me like i can't read your minds like you need to tell me and i feel like that messaging again like we want to just like blame guys because they don't do what we expect them to but it's so much better if you just

like you said give him a script but how many times do you have to tell him is the question because i i'm fine you laminate it you write the script you laminate you type it okay so there's no misspelling they don't have to read this is how i feel loved you don't have to worry about your um handwriting you laminate it you make a couple copies three hole punch put it in a binder and it's laminated so you can put it in the shower too. Have it in the shower. That's so smart because showering is probably where they're most focused. Yeah, I think that it's important to communicate your needs.

But I think sometimes there are partnerships where the person is just not fucking listening. So they expect you to just always tell them what to do. And I can't have that. I can't do the hand-holding anymore. I cannot fucking hold your hand. Like, just come as a whole thing. Like, I don't want to have... I'm done with fixer-uppers.

Wait, that's like... I know what you mean. I'm 38. There's no reason why I should try to am just not i'm i'm 38 there's there's no reason why i should um try to seek anyone who's still trying to get there you're not 39 or 30 39 i'm 38 oh you are yeah i'll be 39 soon are we gonna cross over no you're gonna turn 40 before i turn 39 shit fomo i'm like wait also I saw Gwyneth Paltrow was on Call Her Daddy

and she said that when she turned 40 like you basically get a software upgrade like you just wake up and you're like your system is better and you know how to

prioritize yourself more and I'm just curious have you guys ever turned an age or like had like a life event that made you feel like you had a software upgrade i just have all the people that i cannot relate to like you look at certain

people i'm like oh i could probably relate to her like gwyneth paltrow is like at the bottom you're not like a bone broth bitch you're not like a i do love no no no no let me clarify you wouldn't only have bone broth no no no it would be like an appetizer yeah it would be like a beginning and an end to a meal i feel like 35 i had a little bit of a software upgrade is that what you are now yes like i feel like i feel like 35 this minute is happening no but like there's something about the firmness of that age to me where it's like you're not in your early 30s anymore. You are a 35 year old woman that just and I'm does that sound right to you guys is like being ahead of me or this is just nonsense of me trying to pretend I'm old. Well, like, OK, so I was in therapy earlier.

Dr. Drew recommended this amazing EMDR lady. And so I've been going to her for it. And she was just, you know, she gives a lot of like tidbits about the brain and whatnot. But she was like, your brain really isn't fully formed until you're 24, like man or woman. And so I'm like, wait, my brain has only been fully formed for this amount of time. So it would only make sense to have like additional like upgrades, you know, as we go like a 24. That's an upgrade, right? Your brain's fully formed.

Get ready to rent that car, baby. Yeah. Or to just get ready to rent. And so, yeah, I think maybe every decade, I suppose. I think I had a really, really big one, a forced upgrade last year. Where, you know, when difficulty and when things like transitions. Breakup is an amazing upgrade. It's like a forced upgrade. It's you know when difficulty and then things like great transitions it's like a force upgrade number one yeah and and you think you think yeah you're you're forced to really kind of reckon with like the pieces of you you maybe haven't like checked in on in a while

and you think you're this you know in the relationship you've been in it for so long you're like oh like this is who i am this is who i am and then you're out of it and you're like oh i don't know parts of myself and you're sad i know even the really bad ones when you're like so upset and you're like so like i can't believe this person left me it's like you always like six months or however long it takes later you like look back and you're like oh this was the best thing that ever happened no it's so true like the worse the breakup the better you are at the end because you like suffered through you dug down deep and like had to go through the depths of hell i mean klyla i have not asked you this in a while like how are you what's your current state like how are you doing are you

enjoying being single do you not like it um i i'm trying to be alone i really really am i'm trying to be alone. I really, really am. I'm trying not to be anyone's girl. And I was seeing people here and there, really like two people. That's it. I've had sex with two boys. She's still trying to make that tattoo make sense. It's not going to happen, girl.

It's never going away either. It's pretty serious serious and no shade to either of them they're amazing people but what i learned was no like i am so far from being ready to be in a relationship again so if i enter into something with someone and that person likes me for real like we're in trouble because i have no rope. I'm out of rope. I still am out of rope. I feel so depleted. I can't even picture myself

being like a good partner to anybody right now. I cannot picture myself like doing all the things I did for Bobby for someone else. But you don't have to do that for Bobby.

Yeah. But you did for Bobby for someone else. But that's my idea of like devotion, right? Where it's like I have to really be so i i'm really struggling i'm struggling i know but i'm struggling annie i really am like i don't know how to be

alone and i'm now realizing like i i don't know how to be alone but i know i need to be alone but also like to just reach for that phone and to have someone say i really love you i'm in love with you and it's it's so conflicting because I like the attention, but I'm just not ready. You dialed, by the way. Does that make sense? Or am I just like, I'm lost is what I'm saying. I'm lost.

I don't know what to do. No, no, no. You're in the perfect point actually probably to meet someone because you wouldn't fall into that pattern of like giving too much like annie said like you don't have to give that much and maybe this is a good time like if you meet someone and you don't have a lot to give and it's the right person then like think of how slow it would go and how little you wish it was that way But when someone likes you and they are ready and they want you. She's getting really serious about this.

It's true. You're just 35. You'll learn when you get to 37, 38. But even if it is the right person, i i'm telling you the last person i dated was incredible you don't get it when someone loves you esther you fell for it too so it's like you meet someone who's incredible who wants to do things for you who believes in you who has all of these things and you're just like dude i'm operating at like 40 i don't know what to tell you and he's like 40 is enough but i'm like well my 40 means i'm not ready to be to be called your girlfriend i'm not ready to commit to that like

it's a bummer because you could potentially have just like missed out on a great opportunity with like a partner there's no missing out timing's always divine it's always the right thing you think oh yeah like everything's always happening exactly how it's supposed to well that's how that's what i fear i'm like i let go of two amazing people who really really such a thruple bitch this girl cannot get away from this thruple not at the same time and well she's like look i'm 40 he's 35 and he wait no wait is wait. Is that right? 60. No, he's 30. Yeah. So I feel like, fuck, did I just like miss my opportunity at two incredible two different

people? And no, because I'm just not ready. But then this is like anxiety because then you're thinking about a thing that already happened. You're right. And that's not like being in the moment and like filling yourself with what you need to fill to be ready to actually have a partner right and if they're and when i'm if it's swing back around maybe all of your ex-boyfriends are still on your phone they're all waiting to tell you they're swinging around back around for

the wrong reasons i just had an ex send me a picture of my 25-year-old feet and like little flip-flops and like without, with no context. And he was like, God, you'd be basically saying like, I should, like my feet would make me a lot of money. And he sent me just, I'm like, you took that win.

Just my feet. You should see them now. They're bleeding. There's nails in them. I know. You ruined the moneymakers. I know. What is it like to walk away

from someone who likes you honestly esther that's a really good question not be pride because genuine they run into their panic room it's so it like it feeds you a certain thing that you need right obviously like an ego boost it gives you like the comfort when someone's really doting and loves you. And it feels amazing. But it doesn't feel amazing when the person is like, I want you to be my girl. And I'm like, I cannot be your girl.

It doesn't feel a little good. It doesn't. I cry. I've cried a lot over it. I've cried a lot over it.'ve cried a lot over it and only because they're good people and i feel fucked up because you've been in this relationship so long so like all these guys are waiting they struck like immediately like people didn't even wait like a second they were like we're here and they're like you're not ready like oh my god

this happened like a second ago leave me alone yeah but it's fine it's like you don't want them to wait for you but you want them to be available-ish to wait you know yeah and it's not hot if they wait to see them move on would be really painful for really well you would heal that pain and that's the pain you need to feel yeah and i think that's what i need to um i think my desire to be alone overrides my fear of like losing them i think so that's that's it for now that's the update i want to make an amendment to my my idea of the the writing that people what to say to you because i think you just really have to because it has to be coming from yourself you have to write yourself the script and read it that's my wholesome i like that yeah you can't control anyone else and you can't be relying

on other people to tell you what you need to hear it's true but sometimes you need comfort i think it's okay to see comfort but yes that's why when i film myself giving myself pep talk it's just it's so helpful time out is that which one the camera guys what is it yeah you guys thank you so much for joining us for the electronic daisy edc just say edc edc stage coach 2.0 we'll see you guys next week be jolly do molly baby is that the motto i don't know that's so good by annie letterman do not reflect those of this podcast she hasn't done it yet okay we'll get back to you when she's done and she'll be like how do we get a sponsor please subscribe and eat a banana good night bye guys or deep throat you