Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Esther’s Birth Story (induced at 39 weeks) w/ Dave King

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Starting point is 00:02:03 Use code Trash Tuesday at checkout to save. Terms and conditions apply. Hi, Dave. Hey, guys. Thank you so much for being here. Am I here? I'm not even sure what's happening. This is so exciting for me.

Starting point is 00:02:19 Really? I can't believe we're doing this this early on. Yeah. I know, Esther, like the dreaded question how is the the gyners oh my god kalilah opening podcast is i am officially three weeks postpartum i was ready by the way to record a birth story episode with you literally 12 hours after i gave birth. I mean, I wasn't, but I was so ready. What happened was the night we went to the hospital, I only know this because I was filming myself,

Starting point is 00:02:54 and it was before I had gotten on any of the drugs that they give you, and I was like, I feel high, but I haven't taken anything, and I think I'm just high off of attention from nurses. That was part of it, but you were also just so excited to finally give birth yeah the baby and to get it out of you yeah wait what's the text do you want to can we while you're looking that up just establish for child services purposes that our baby is here and she's doing fine and she's like just off camera and we're keeping an eye on her yes if you see us looking over and the lights are the opposite direction from her she's shielded from the lights she just ate and she's she's hiccuping she's hiccuping which is her one of she's actually very a chill hiccup. I can't believe I'm on this show talking about my own baby.

Starting point is 00:03:48 Me neither. Can I be honest? You guys both seem like the two chillest. I think we're like, it's very stimulating to be out of the house and then also to be here. And I'm sure for Dave too because he's never been here and done this. There's a lot of weird things happening. Not the least of which is monetizing the story of the birth of our child.

Starting point is 00:04:10 We're not monetizing it. We've had this conversation. So I did not know this would happen until after I gave birth. I am so newly obsessed obviously with birth stories. Uh-huh. And so I am just like this. I am so excited to share and talk about it because I've had so many people on Instagram asking me, like, what happened? And I haven't, like, fully answered it at all.

Starting point is 00:04:34 And so I'm like, I want to get it all out clearly in one podcast. Look, maybe there'll be some. And also I just had a follow up with my doctor. podcast. And also I just had a follow-up with my doctor and she was like, cause you take like this little survey, like to see if you have postpartum depression symptoms or whatever. And she was like, you are clearly doing great. And I was like, yeah, I'm like kind of in shock. And I asked her, is the other shoe going to drop? Like what's, and she said, I see this a lot in my patients. Some people have really bad anxiety and depression during pregnancy, and that's a really good sign that they're not going to have postpartum depression. Really? Yes. That might be anecdotal. I don't know if there's actual

Starting point is 00:05:16 evidence to support that, just as a caveat. My doctor, legal doctor. She said she sees this a lot. That's different than saying like. That's what I said. I know. I'm just saying that is anecdotal. In Dave's defense, it is anecdotal. There's no like literature saying if you're sad during pregnancy, you'll be happy after. Right.

Starting point is 00:05:35 And it's all over. Well, I didn't write it in a book. Oh, hi, babes. She's up. We didn't make it far. We didn't make it very far at all you were very scared of pushing um i was terrified of giving birth i think i thought about that once a day throughout the day while pregnant okay what's the text the text is this and i swear this is just the most you text ever you'll never believe this but i absolutely loved having a catheter in and not feeling my legs it was my lazy girl's dream the catheter was a highlight i also started peeing in

Starting point is 00:06:15 a bedpan like right away can we like get into the birth story yes and dave is off camera now because he's he's holding our beloved baby so he's he has a mic though so he camera now because he's holding our beloved baby. So he has a mic though. So he's going to comment. He's fully participating just off camera. So the first thing I want to say is that the most important thing about the story that matters the most is that like I got to leave the hospital with a healthy baby. And that is what kept me like soothed. And so that's like my headline

Starting point is 00:06:47 is like I'm so lucky I'm so grateful but everything did not go the way I thought it would and I'm let me just say especially to the pregnant girlies who are still pregnant like that last week it was almost like the we ended that episode I got in my car and it was almost like we ended that episode. I got in my car and it was like my life went downhill for five days. It was so bad. My anxiety, everything I've ever been anxious about in my life spiked. Every discomfort spiked. Every just acknowledging there was no... That last week of pregnancy I would not I wouldn't go back to the

Starting point is 00:07:26 first trimester I wouldn't trade that because that's the hardest but that last week was just physical pain mental I was so low obviously like everything my opinion of all this changed because I'm literally four hours after giving birth I was I looked at Dave I was like we'll have another one i knew it did you really i knew it those conversations have been happening i'm a traitor which is why yeah this is the most this is the craziest thing ever because even up until like right at brown push time she was like one and done this is one and done i'm never doing this again i'm i've completely betrayed myself.

Starting point is 00:08:08 And I have all these notes, too, that I made sure to make. Like, you're miserable, pregnant. Don't ever do this again. And I've looked at them and I'm like, I'm not even looking at these. Fuck that girl. I don't know who that person is. Yeah, fuck her. And then the last week was just terror. Right, Dave?

Starting point is 00:08:22 Yeah, how was that for you Dave I mean I just felt awful because there wasn't much I could do other than just like you know some like whatever helping you stretch and stuff but you couldn't get my legs yeah that was a weird one Esther just kept going like just pull my legs like stretch my hip socket out basically, right? You just feel so compressed in that area. Yes. So you want it just to be extended out this way? Yes. I just wanted someone to pull my legs.

Starting point is 00:08:53 Anyways, miserable last week. Friday comes around. The day is so gloomy mentally that we were like, let's just go early. I cannot stress enough, like this is such a hard decision to make. There are so many options and I'm not telling anyone to do what I did. Like also, so everyone's so different.

Starting point is 00:09:15 Like literally you and my sister are like terrified of a C-section. You guys are like, I don't want that. Me, I was like, most of my pregnancy, that's what I was leaning towards and what I wanted i didn't end up doing it but like that's not scary to me right not scary at all for me pushing was scary to me it ended up being not scary okay we go there dave you'll help me with this part yeah we get there to the hospital early the induction was friday night at nine so basically with the induction they start for mine

Starting point is 00:09:46 they started with this tablet called a misoprostol okay that's a um is that the abortion pill abortion pill that's what i thought i was like are they making those cramps are are mighty mighty mighty yeah so it's called cytotec or they call it me the nurses were calling it miso and i'm kind of me so i was, that's really weird. That's the abortion pill, whatever. So that's like the first step for my induction. It says it like softens the cervix, whatever. Right when I started taking it, the contractions instantly, very painful, frequent.

Starting point is 00:10:23 I was struggling. And I got the sense, and especially now from like hearing other people's birth stories, that's not the norm. Most people take the misoprostol. They don't need any pain intervention. They're fine. But for me, like right away, I was like, I need something for the pain. And I was like, I need my first dose of fentanyl right now. They're like, whoa, most people don't get it this early. She's a drug seeker, guys. Most people don't need it this early. I'm like, what do they do? They're like, they walk around. I'm like, what? In what world did we think that you could just walk off contractions?

Starting point is 00:11:02 Yeah. So I'm like, no, let's get get it going they give me the dose of fentanyl at first so you're like really dizzy and then immediately I'm like very soothed I'll say it I was high for the first time in like 10 11 months and it was wonderful even though I could still kind of feel the pain. And so then it faded pretty quickly. How many times do you have to take the miso? I think – I don't think they have a number of times. I think you just keep taking it. You took it every four hours.

Starting point is 00:11:39 Okay. And basically until you go into active labor I I think, or until your water breaks. So you took it at 9 p.m., 1 a.m., 5 a.m., 9 a.m. You're amazing for keeping record of all of this, by the way. He has notes. Do you know that I've seen TikToks of partners bringing in their Xbox to the hospital room? partners bringing in their xbox to the hospital room and it always really really makes me sad that they're just not participating in their partner's like pain process and so like kudos to you that's amazing but also i understand i did i had guilt i was like this is so probably

Starting point is 00:12:18 boring and long for dave like and i felt i did feel bad for you because for me at least i'm in like the exciting star role. And you're like. You are the star of the show. Oh, yeah. What were you saying? Something about you like, oh, you felt like you were in the movie and I was just watching it. Yes.

Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah. Yes. I said that towards the end of pregnancy too. It's not an uncommon theme in our relationship, which I'm happy with. I don't, I'd rather be watching than starring. Thank you. Can I just add, by the way, that, so you got your first fentanyl thing. Fentanyl or fentanyl? Fentanyl with a Y at the end.

Starting point is 00:12:55 Fentanyl. Okay. So I went out into the hallway at this point because I was like, this does seem early. Like the nurse really seemed reluctant to give it to you and i went to like walk the halls and go to the bathroom or something and i saw the nurse who was attending to you and i was like how's she doing and the nurse was like um she's okay you know and i was like how unusual is this to ask for the to get your first dose of fentanyl after the first miso and she was like first time i've ever seen it and i was like okay you say that would have i'm so glad i didn't

Starting point is 00:13:35 know that because that that's like the nightmare answer that would have spun me out i'm putting a little spin on it she didn't say it with judgment about you or anything she was like the the tone of it was like if i'm being honest this you know it's the first time i've seen it but she also was like it's okay like we're prepared for any scenario and like you know i can't believe it i know there's no doubt you were in excruciating pain from the first research that's what i'm so shocked by like how why was it causing me this excruciating pain if i could just interrupt yeah i have my one of my best friends took an abortion pill and i had to literally hold her while she was it was so painful they're supposed to be really really

Starting point is 00:14:17 firsthand account yeah firsthand yeah like she was like crying in pain. Look, because I'm not somebody who ever gets period cramps ever. That's a very unfamiliar pain to me. So when I took the pill, I was doubled over. Like I was knocked out from the type of pain I was experiencing. Yeah. It was like a cycle. You would take the fentanyl. You take the miso,

Starting point is 00:14:45 and then an hour and a half later, they'd give you the fentanyl to counteract the pain, the peak of the pain of the miso. Yeah, the peak. And that happened three times. Yeah. And I said to them, I was like, okay, so you guys are stopping me at three doses of fentanyl. So when I can't, what, then what? Right. Like, cause I can't, this is only going to get more painful, more frequent. I need something else. And so I was like, does that mean it's time for the epidural? How often are they doing checks for dilation? I think the second or third time they checked you there, she was like, oh yeah, you're still closed. And then she looked at me with like a sort of conspiratorial, you were lying down, like eyes closed. Oh, just trying to make, get through this, this exam.

Starting point is 00:15:39 And she looked at me and like, with not a wink, but the equivalent of a wink, she was like, looked at me and like with not a wink, but the equivalent of a wink, she was like, oh, let's say she's actually 0.5 centimeters. It's a little open. And she gave me a nod like, just go along with it. Mama needs to hear some good news right now. I was like, all right, there you go. 0.5. We're getting somewhere. I bet you needed that. I guess I did. Yeah. I love that the nurses knew. I misread that on the text, right? Oh, yeah. So I thought you were five. I wasn't reading decimal points because I was just in like, you know, my own version of like excitement bubble. So when you said, when I read five,

Starting point is 00:16:18 I was like, oh my God, here we go, guys. And then I had to be like, no, P-O-I-N-f-i-v-e and it makes sense that you didn't take in 0.5 because 0.5 is probably not something that gets reported because it was a fucking lie it was made up by a nurse it was a fairy tale I was told so that I would calm the f down not that I wasn't calm but I think they felt bad it was pity right it was like this girl is struggling anyway so and by the way guys I was getting a really like beautiful play-by-play oh good thank you so much for that okay good I think there's a couple people that I was like I want them to know everything as and I'm glad that I was very well informed as we headed into game

Starting point is 00:17:00 time okay nurse Kalilah of course my my main my head nurse. Yeah. By the way, every nurse I delivered at Huntington Hospital in Pastina, every nurse was an all-star. Certain ones were more special than others, but like every nurse was a fucking, my dream girl. They were amazing. I loved all of them so much. Okay. Not to get grim, but you know, they saved my life there. Like in high school, like I had OD'd because I tried to. But shout out to Huntington, man. You guys are real rock stars. Then it's basically this point where, like I said, I'm out of my allotted fentanyl, maxed it out. What now?

Starting point is 00:17:43 And they're like, it's way too soon for you to get the epidural you're not dilated like and I'm like well what is the what's the other option here and so Dave will you explain kind of what ended up happening well basically the I don't think they could give you the epidural without consulting with your doctor so we got your doctor on the phone and over a series of two phone calls, she was like, I think this was actually decided before your third dose of fentanyl. Yeah, because I was like,

Starting point is 00:18:12 I can't take this fentanyl if I don't know what's coming after it. I was too scared. So she was like, we'll do the fentanyl and then when that wears off, you'll get an epidural. It is extremely early,

Starting point is 00:18:23 but she was like, I don't know what else we she she basically ended the call with not knowing what to do and then she called back and was like actually for your your case i think we need to do i thank goodness she believed the level of pain you were in yeah trusted you as a patient. And she understood that this was like, yeah, that's what the situation. And she did warn me that like, if you get the epidural really early, it could cause a long labor. That's like a side effect or a complication. If you get it too soon, it could cause long labor. So I knew that. I didn't love hearing that, but I was like, the pain is so bad. There's no choice choice so it could basically like stunt the progress of like dilation I guess yeah so they usually wait till you're right around like

Starting point is 00:19:10 five centimeters yeah but I and this is like where I want to interject advice for people like I was in a situation where I was in so much pain the nurses are not used to that they did not offer me the pain medicine that fentanyl like I had to know about it and bring it up yeah so it's like no one is going to come and tell you it's time for you to get this pain intervention it's time for your epidural like you want to be aware of what you're because that is the hardest part is the suffering and the pain and once you are on the epidural which not everyone's going to do, that was a choice for me, pretty smooth sailing. There's like this 90-minute period where I have

Starting point is 00:19:51 no, I'm just raw dogging the pain of contractions. And it is bad. I am like freaking out, doing the breathing through the contractions. And again again I don't know who breathing through contractions who that helps it doesn't fucking help me it did not help at all and I the nurse comes in she's like it's gonna it could be another hour I'm like oh my god what am I supposed to do and she literally unwraps a birthing ball and is like sit on this I'm like that's not gonna help me she's i'm like what do other women do she's like they walk around this kept coming up where other women just walk it off do i look like a walker offer to you like again in my mind that's who i am in my fantasy

Starting point is 00:20:38 in the practicality of it in practice that's not you couldn't walk no i couldn't even get up at this point you were shaking. Oh, yeah. It started shaking. Yeah, it was a little scary. Yeah, and by this point, we're early hours of the morning of Saturday. So, again, like heaven dilated, still in pain, whatever. So, finally, the epidural is ready for me, whatever.

Starting point is 00:20:59 We go. We move to, like, our birthing room. I got the epidural. Oh that so you get transferred into a separate room yeah so there's three stages of hospital rooms the first for us it was the first one is like just where you go to start the induction then the next one is like when you're ready the delivery room delivery room and then after you deliver you get two hours and they kick you out and you go to postpartum yeah yeah you say they kick you out but they were very understanding and kind and they're not it's not like someone sitting there with a stopwatch yeah but it was a i think that was just the the hardest part of this because

Starting point is 00:21:35 of what was going on and also the pain you also if you i you um you forgot the little part excuse me where you thought your water had broke. Yes, I did post this on TikTok. I thought I got a spurt of liquid. I'm like, oh my God, my water broke. Dave, like my fucking water broke. With certainty. This is happening fast.

Starting point is 00:21:58 We're moving fast. I'm shaking. And then the nurse comes in and is like, your water did not break yet. No, it was gel from the previous exam that had. And I said that and you were like, you didn't believe that. There's no way it was gel. I don't know what it was. I think Dave's right. I think it's the gel.

Starting point is 00:22:15 Because at this point, you have full control of your bladder still, right? You think? Yes. You haven't gone to epidural, have you? No. At this time? Yeah. It was definitely the gel.

Starting point is 00:22:27 Okay. Why not trust the nurse who's seen this a hundred times? Like, this is her job. This was also happened a few times where you were like, actually, the nurses don't know what's going on. Wait, so then after I got the epidural, they put the catheter in. It's like double whammy of a dream come true because now I don't, the hardest part up until that point

Starting point is 00:22:50 was also having to get up to pee because, you know, you're still nine months pregnant. It's really hard to get in and out of bed. So now epidural, pain-free, catheter, don't have to get up to pee. Highlight of my life. Well, they kept saying, it's funny.

Starting point is 00:23:03 I'm sorry I'm interrupting so much. No, it's good. And I'm not on camera. It's weird. But they kept saying like's funny i'm sorry i'm interrupting so much no it's good i'm not on camera it's weird but they kept saying like if you do get the epidural the earlier get it the longer you're just gonna be in bed you can't move you think that's a downside for this one and esther's like what's the downside here like it sounds amazing yeah and i was so happy instantly because it was the first relief I had felt in nine months. No joke. Like, I officially, the sour taste in my mouth is gone. Really?

Starting point is 00:23:30 Any kind of. And that's something that was, like, plaguing you from, like, beginning to end. Yes, but it's like, think about it. Now my body has been on, like, any kind of drug for the first time. And so I'm just, I'm so happy from that relief. And can you not eat anymore at this point? Once you get the epidural, you can't eat. But they were giving me, oh, I was also, I started throwing up.

Starting point is 00:23:50 You had a jello and then threw up. I threw up a jello. I FaceTimed my mom and sister at one point and then that made me throw up. Yes, you did tell me that. That made it on text. Eventually, the next thing that happened was during an exam, another cervical exam, I guess it is, that your water broke. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:24:09 So during a cervical exam, I heard a pop and she goes, that's your water breaking. Did they break your water or did it just happen to be broken right around that time? That's what I don't know. to be broken right around that time that's what i don't know and i was it this is a complicated subject because i'd watch that show fleishman is in trouble you so want to be the trauma recipient of from fleishman is in trouble which is so far from what happened but go ahead i'm saying i had the opposite that the show it's a it's an fx limited series and it's so good and it's but it's about a woman played by claire danes whose life completely unravels and then you realize it all stems back from a doctor breaking her water without asking her permission

Starting point is 00:24:59 oh whoa okay and so that made me think this was like the scary thing but in experience, it was not this negative scary thing because I was also on the epidural. I don't know what it felt like. This nurse did not go in there to break my water. It was almost like she just was doing a cervical check and my water broke. Yeah. And you had started dilating a tiny bit by this point. So I'm very confused by this. Like, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:25:23 Did she try to do it? I think that she, if that was the intention, she would have absolutely. And absolutely. Yes. I mean, you probably would have loved if she was like, okay, I think we're going to break your water. You would be like, yes, anything to progress this pregnancy. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:25:38 So in fact, when her hand was in there, I heard the pop. She said, your water just broke. I was like, yeah yeah i was so happy but it's just so weird because in that show it's like horror a horrible thing that can happen to a woman but for me it was not that at all well what it meant for us for you practically was that you got to skip the the balloon yeah okay so in an induction a typical next step is a Foley balloon, which like- Oh, those I hear can be gnarly. Which universally are hated online. Like every woman is like, don't do this. And I knew if I

Starting point is 00:26:12 was going to do it, I wanted to be on the epidural before because it's supposed to be very painful. They insert this like plastic balloon, then they like pump it up, expand. It's how they make you dilate. this was something that like a lot of people were like my mom especially was like this is a nightmare don't do it whatever so I was a little nervous about it but again knew if I was on the epidural it would be okay I was prepared but they're like you're what my doctor's like so your water broke so you're not eligible for the balloon anymore so I was like okay great that decision is off the table whatever i do ultimately think that my water breaking early then me not doing the balloon may have led to some

Starting point is 00:26:54 to like they had warned me a lengthening of the labor which may have caused complications later i don't know but um dave is back i'm back baby is sleeping right right there we're looking at her we have eyes on her we are not bad parents this is normal for parents to be podcasting while a baby sleeps oh the next thing that happened was oh so they started you on pitocin at this point i'm on the epidural. My water broke. I'm just like, I'm feeling relief. There's not much going on for me. How far apart are your contractions? They were like every minute, every two minutes.

Starting point is 00:27:33 No, Dave's shaking his head. They weren't, but here's the thing. They were four minutes apart roughly at this point, but they last a minute, and so at least. So it's a minute of contraction, and then're recovering and then it comes again it feels constant after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase

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Starting point is 00:29:19 Mother's Day is right around the corner. I know. And obviously it's a very special Mother's Day for me, but it will also have to be one for my mom too. And that's why I'm really excited about Aura Frames because now that I'm a mom, I understand this is the exact gift you would want. Aura Frames are beautiful Wi-Fi connected digital picture frames that allow you to share and display unlimited photos.

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Starting point is 00:32:00 Here are my notes. They start at Pitocin at 4.30 p.m. Okay, this is Saturday at this point yeah saturday at 5 15 p.m ester thinks she might be ready to give birth so what happened was ester says to me you don't know she was you well do you remember what you were feeling it was like you felt that the baby was like super low and you were like, the nurses, I don't know what they think is going on, but I'm ready to give birth right now. And so we were like, okay, let's ask a nurse if that's true or not. And they came in and checked you and said that you were only one and a half centimeters. Is that really true yeah but but

Starting point is 00:32:47 oh my god things things started moving very quickly after that yeah by 6 30 you were up to six and a half oh whoa and they were like that was a huge jump i was like i know i know i felt it sorry that that was that's really the one and a half i think that was the second to the last text you sent me okay was it was one and a half you're probably like oh god and then you sent me maybe one more and then i was like oh it's game time because like i didn't hear from you yeah at all after that so i knew it happened fast once it the pitocin that really sped things up 8 40 p.m you were eight centimeters dilated then this is when you started having like a fever and stuff i don't know how into that you want to go no i want to

Starting point is 00:33:32 talk about that okay so you good um so at eight you started developing a small fever you did no at 8 20 p.m and they gave you tyenol antibiotics just in case you had an infection. Yeah. And that's kind of when like it was not fun anymore because it started to be not fun anymore. So I wasn't aware. I thought your fever came after. So it was actually before. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:34:00 It started before and then it actually came down a little right before, just to jump ahead, right before you gave birth. But it had spiked enough that it had like... The tone like shifted in the way they were treating me once I had the fever. And for people who aren't familiar with what that might mean, there are a lot of situations where the mother could be septic. And that can be serious and scary yeah so i didn't fully understand i was just like oh i'm scared i have a fever i'm i'm a little scared i didn't know how serious it was dave are you scared or panicked i was scared i wasn't panicked i think i would say there were a couple so the the things that happened back to back were Esther's fever and then meconium presented

Starting point is 00:34:47 itself before the baby was born. So we knew that, which is meconium is basically like. The baby's first poop. Baby poop. So it's not supposed to come out until the baby is born. But if the baby gets stressed, I'm not an expert, but this is what we were told. If the baby gets stressed or for other various reasons, it might do it prematurely inside and that can infect mom or vice versa. If mom has an infection,

Starting point is 00:35:13 that can stress out the baby. You know, I don't know. There's a lot of possibilities. And also the baby could aspirate it and inhale it. So that's, yeah. At what point was it then that they said like so just so you know when yeah at about nine o'clock they told us the NICU will have to be present for the birth of baby I think we should I know you said this up top but I think that like I think it should be clear that the purpose of telling this story is that like so many people go through things that sound scary and are in the end basically routine and that this isn't a woe is us story because there's like far worse things that can happen and far scarier things but when you're in the moment

Starting point is 00:35:58 and you hear words like sepsis in the delivery room which luckily we didn't hear until after the baby was born but we did like you hear that and you go like for the baby for esther like can and could you do it's very scary but the good news is like again like why hospitals like are very like hospitals have a place for these types of things it's like yes you're right like in nursing school say for instance like what i learned is meconium is kind of common i didn't know that it was potentially a very serious issue when this was going on so at that time i was still like oh our baby like pooped on itself like that's funny like it was just i was kind of taking it like in a silly way and then basically like it was we worked up I think they had upped my pitocin because of my fever because they were

Starting point is 00:36:52 like we need to it seemed like they I needed to get the baby out sooner than later how are you feeling at this time like with a fever like knowing that like you had to push soon pretty nervous like but also not not that nervous yet and then like this is what i feel like it was almost like the the beautiful part where it was really fun was when it did come time to push which is crazy because that was the part i was the most scared of and it ended up being the best part of it. I just felt I did not have pain. The nurse walked me through everything. Do you just feel like intense pressure at that point? Not even. I wouldn't even say intense pressure. I had upped my epidural, which people have varying opinions on this. Like, do you want the epidural to be higher so you don't feel anything

Starting point is 00:37:41 lower, a little lower so you're more aware and it's easier to feel what you're doing yeah the nurse had encouraged me like you're you should just go a little higher for you whatever and so i could feel what i was doing it didn't feel like i was doing much but they were telling me like that i was pushing hard whatever but we had an amazing nurse shout out to nurse suzy she coached me amazing she coached me through everything, was so kind and so sweet, and also stayed really calm despite the pending issues, whatever. And I was actually really, I feel like I was mean to you during pushing. Only once.

Starting point is 00:38:18 I wouldn't even say mean. And I was like, I mean, not to sound like beta cuck, i was fine with it i kind of expected it i'd heard plenty of stories of women being like shut up like oh really yeah we're just like i can't imagine someone is you know saying any sweet things when it's well it's like she was telling me what to do and dave was like helping her tell me what to do and i was like this is between me and nurse suzy right now well it was this you've never done this i was off to her right okay so she esther just went like she's like okay okay you're distracting me i'm just gonna listen to her i was like great i guess okay because in my head i'm like he doesn't he doesn't know what he's doing like she does i was just repeating whatever the nurse said wait did you participate in the counting at least?

Starting point is 00:39:06 Yeah. Okay, good. And holding her leg back. Yeah, they made me hold my legs up, which I didn't love, especially because my legs did feel like I was just holding up wood because they were so heavy. That's what you kept saying. You were like.

Starting point is 00:39:20 That was a little uncomfortable. You were, yeah. Did they feel like they didn't belong to you? Yeah. No, not at all. You were like, I feel like I'm holding up a stranger's leg. Yeah, it was freaky. That is so freaky.

Starting point is 00:39:33 But I was just so happy that I wasn't feeling any pain. And pushing for me went pretty quick. It was like 30 minutes. Incredible. Yeah, 45 minutes. 30 to 40 minutes, whatever. We'll just go with 30. We'll round it down. Why do you want the...

Starting point is 00:39:48 Whatever. Dave, did you want to watch... No. Okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. So, basically I'm pushing and she goes, oh, your baby has a lot of hair. I'm like, I know. I've had acid reflux for nine months, bitch. I know my baby has a lot of hair.

Starting point is 00:40:04 Baby in a live cell, maybe not, but we'll believe it. And I'm like, is it dark? You know, because I was a little bit like this could be a redhead, which would be fine. But she's like, it's dark. I was like, yeah, I'm so happy. She's like, but they all look dark. You have to wash it off. And then when the baby got like lower or whatever, they go, okay, dad, do you want to take a look?

Starting point is 00:40:23 And I'm like he no i was like no we're gonna see the baby together at the at the first time for the first time we're gonna see it together oh wait that's a really good point that was a good i thought it was that's a good point that's a good argument to be made for um dad not watching it happen is to be like no we're having we're doing a first look together yeah there's other arguments to be made. I think you didn't, you were happy with that decision though. I was totally fine with it. If it were up to me, I wouldn't look. I'm very squeamish.

Starting point is 00:40:53 I don't like that, basically blood. I mean, I'm just whatever. I don't like hospitals. I'm just admit it. I'm bad at this stuff. And it was the right decision for both of us you know i saw a video in health class in ninth grade like i've seen it it's a miracle god bless i don't need to see her do it i don't think what are we shaking yeah honestly i hope my partner

Starting point is 00:41:18 says the same thing because i don't want them to see that. Well, you should also be able to, like, if I wanted to see it and she was like, you're not, I mean, who needs to see that? I don't know. I'm like. I need to see it. What is that? Is that just medical curiosity or like. Yeah, I feel like it's like every, I mean, I cried into my best friend's gyners, like directly into it. to my best friend's gyners, like directly into it.

Starting point is 00:41:50 As her baby Quinn was coming out, when I saw the hair and I saw it, I could not, like the emotions just came out of me and I was crying on the baby's head as it was coming out. Look, all of that stuff, like seeing the baby for the first time, yes, all of that, like the the emotions you can't describe them but the actual like crowning and everything it's not for us we're not i totally get it i totally get it i think i do have like a more morbid medical curiosity for things i like i nothing is grotesque to me yes necessarily except for phlegm phlegm i'm not I'm just so sensitive in my own vagina that I wouldn't want to see. Like if you were giving birth or something and you invited me, I would not want to look.

Starting point is 00:42:34 What if we do like a clockwork orange and I pin your eyes up? And I make you and Dave sit through my delivery? Still a no? Any takers? Pushing? Great. you and dave sit sit through my delivery still a no no any taker pushing great i again cannot stress enough question um ring of fire or no ring of fire really no it was i had no pain throughout the pushing like that was my biggest fear i thought it was going to be so hard i thought i wasn't going to know what to do they talk you through it you said after the fact that you used dancers intuition to help you i did every push i was like picturing myself in the dance studio i was like i've worked i've danced i can do this like i love this i have the pelvic floor

Starting point is 00:43:18 strength to push this baby out like that that's my athlete that's my little athlete yes i really like i really closed my eyes and was in my high school dance studio you would continue to do pilates and like strength training as until as late as you possibly could yeah during pregnancy i imagine that didn't hurt that's what i was again i so for some people they're like that ended up helping me some people like that didn't factor in at all i had a hard birth but in my head i was like was like, I worked for this. I can do this. Like, I'm a good candidate to like push this baby out. They were like, sorry, the nurses, Esther was like pushing, you know, whatever the rhythm is. You push for a while, stop, push. And then Esther was like, I feel like I'm not achieving anything. Like the baby's not moving at all. the nurses were like you're pushing the baby is moving what an incredible feeling were you like oh my god I'm doing so good I know like everyone should work out on an epidural because you don't feel

Starting point is 00:44:14 it at all it's like so how are you doing squats on an epidural oh yeah that's true okay so then the baby is born and this is like where i might get a little emotional because um they had to like immediately take her away and so like this is like the part where i get sad because but she's okay she's okay that's why i said that at the beginning yeah i know but like you know a lot of like the things that I had watched and, like, was really excited about. And it's so funny because I was like, I have no birth plan. But it's, like, in my head. Clearly, I did.

Starting point is 00:44:54 You envisioned how the skin to skin immediately. Like, just like your baby is born and they put it on you and, like, you're in what they call golden hour. And, like, you get to look at your baby and like i just kept always like thinking like oh my god me and dave are gonna cry we're gonna lose it it's gonna be this amazing moment and like that is the one step that we didn't get and i'm again i'm so happy because we the only thing that mattered was that we left the hospital with our baby and we got that and we are so fucking lucky for that but i'm so sorry to do this we do have to pause to do a skims ad but skims no yeah it was hard we did we got a weird abridged version yes okay so was go ahead yeah they placed the baby on me for literally two seconds and i was it was so

Starting point is 00:45:46 overwhelming and i knew that nick you had to look at her immediately so i almost didn't even i didn't even really get all i saw was like the pointy just came out of your vagina cone head the dark hair a little bit of blood that's all i saw i didn't see her face and now she covered in all the white vernix yeah but she wasn't they had they had cleaned her off like 80 very quickly and then put her right oh i didn't even know that then they they she made eye contact with me as they put that so i am really happy dave got to look at her right away got eye contact i don't even feel like she touched my body I feel like she was just like lightly placed over me like literally snapshot like and then they took her back to the corner of the room and in my head

Starting point is 00:46:33 I'm just like Dave go in the corner he and like tell me what's going on so I was laying in bed I'm staring in the corner Dave is watching over her and like kind of shouting back to me like what's going on and what they're doing meanwhile i'm like very distracted by that and then my eyes go down and i'm like that's weird why is my doctor knitting a sweater in between my legs oh she's sewing me up wait wait wait did we not have a placenta moment we did i oh but it was they just she had just said like okay push the placenta and it was like doing nothing okay i just sort of saw like a formless shape out of in my periphery and made a conscious effort not to focus right your knees would have buckled i think so and then they just kind of whisked it away

Starting point is 00:47:22 and because it was it had to go for testing. And there was an infection. It was infected. So I didn't like do anything fun with my placenta, which I wasn't planning on anyway. But peace and love if you are. But mine was infected. No placenta kebabs for the King family, guys. the kebabs for the king family guys so dave is in the corner standing over watching the baby kind of like dictating to me what's going on and this is like the moment where i'm like pretty scared you know but i'm also like hearing kind of good things and confusing things like i don't know if you want to at one point i remember you're like she's getting a CPAP. Oh, yeah. Did you hear her cry? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:48:06 Okay. Yeah, she was crying. She was breathing fine and making noise and moving around. And the issue is that she had, like, as you said earlier, aspirated some of her meconium. And so it's like in her lungs or whatever. And they're suctioning it out as best they can. And they're making progress, but they're still not thrilled with how much i guess is in there or she was grunting is the word they used okay so so it's

Starting point is 00:48:31 like a sign of like respiratory like distress basically is the grunt and um she i'm trying to remember yeah they gave her a tiny little c-pap which we thought was cute in the moment because i have a c-pap because i'm sure you've mentioned many times to humiliate me on this podcast. You know, Dave, my partner is also a CPAP-y. What up? Team CPAP. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm pro-CPAP.

Starting point is 00:48:56 Oh, they're great. Yeah. So, I mean, to make a long story not that short, the upshot of what happened was she was sort of like she needed to go to the NICU. They decided and over the course of two days in the NICU, she worked everything out and was fine. And like they just needed to test her for whatever to make sure that she could breathe properly on her own, that all theconium had cleared that she didn't have serious infections blood infections that kind of thing but that was like where it got really scary because of course i hear the NICU team say the word septic and then like they're like we're actually we didn't get her where we need her to be right now we're taking her to the NICU and i was like what and then they're like before we take her

Starting point is 00:49:46 because they had been working on her for like 20-30 minutes and then they made the decision we're taking her and they're like let's put her on mom first and like take pictures and that's when I was like wait this is actually a good sign yeah because they're not rushing the baby to NICU exactly but I didn't i'm in like panic mode i'm like i literally said to them no like if she needs to go to the NICU please take her like i literally was refused i like don't give her to me and they're like no no no she needs to be on mom like it's fine and they gave her to me and i'm just like not enjoying this like two minute hold of my baby i'm like every second counts in your head yeah

Starting point is 00:50:28 it's just like is she okay is she okay i look at her i don't know smiling for a picture that the nurse is taking but it's like should we be smiling is very odd i didn't know that like baby's eyes rolls in that roll in the back of their head so the first thing i see is her eyes rolling back her eyes are rolling back they're like it's fine I'm like okay but it just was this like panicked moment and then she's gone and it's like then like the whole after of the birth is just like us by ourselves in the room my vagina is suddenly burning because it just got turned into a sweater. And I'm like, I'm also worried because my infection goes back up and spikes again. And so I was just really concerned. Again, you hear the word septic. I at that point did not realize if you're in the hospital and they're pumping you with antibiotics,

Starting point is 00:51:18 you're not going to die of sepsis. But in my head, I didn't know that. And I'm really scared. You had two drips, two antibiotic drips. They were giving me two antibiotics. I'm like, are me and the baby going to survive, I didn't know that, and I'm really scared. You had two drips, two antibiotic drips, right? Yes, they were giving me two antibiotics. I'm like, are me and the baby going to survive? I don't know. Like, that's just the panic that was going on for me. And I even asked the nurse, like, am I going to die of sepsis right now? And she was like, well, that's going a little far.

Starting point is 00:51:39 She's like, you know, you could also get in your car, get in a car accident, like, and die. So— Yeah. I mean, let's be honest. She laughed at you when you asked that question. You could also get in your car, get in a car accident, like a die. So, yeah. I mean, let's be honest. She laughed at you. Like, I was not in a position to go to the NICU. So I was like, Dave, please go. They wouldn't let you go.

Starting point is 00:51:55 Yeah, they wouldn't let me go. So he went. He met her, you know, visited her. Couldn't hold her. What was it like for you to see her in the NICU I mean it was 90% extreme joy and a little bit of you know fear and like sadness or whatever but she's like got the IV the C-P in her nose. Like she's looking. Uncertainty is more so than like real terror, I think. You know, we kind of like,

Starting point is 00:52:31 this kind of thing where we're trying to read the temperature of the nurses a lot. And they were, they just didn't seem to be at like that heightened of an alarm pitch of like, and as soon as she was in NICU it was like she's breathing good she's got color everything seems good we're taking the blood you know there's a chance this and that but all she looks healthy and you know so we just tried to like focus on that and that she seemed to be trending in the right direction I don't know yeah once they kind of were able to tell us like things, things, she's getting better.

Starting point is 00:53:06 And, like, then I think the joy sort of came back and we were excited. And then after two days, they released her and we got to spend a night with her in the hospital. And then we got to go home the next day. So we ended up being there, like, four nights or something. Something like that. I don't remember.

Starting point is 00:53:23 Yeah. Yeah. I imagine it's like, she's so small, right? She's so small. But then like the next day I got to go and I was just, it was,

Starting point is 00:53:32 but it was very hard. Like, and I'm sure most moms deal with this. It's like, you're in all this pain and you have a new baby. And I just, even though people say that,

Starting point is 00:53:41 like I wasn't prepared for how overwhelming that would be and how much my own pain would be in the way of enjoying that my baby is here. So it did take a couple days to understand this is my baby and I get to take care of it. It just took a couple days. It was also weird when they took her away because it was like, they're feeding her formula. And it's like, oh, okay. I guess she's on formula.

Starting point is 00:54:10 And I guess it's that formula that they have in the NICU. Right, right. Stuff like that. Is she doing okay? Wait, what were you going to say? All the props in the world for doing Family Feud. I don't know how you did it with um just two weeks out the strength of Steve Harvey and flavor flame is really what got me through you okay also here's

Starting point is 00:54:34 one thing postpartum you were definitely like Esther don't do anything don't leave the house like you have and you I see now that you're right and it's almost like I started so excited and like on the high and was like I can do anything and now that I'm three weeks out I'm a little more like okay actually like I need to slow down like you know coming here today I was like oh god this feels so early but meanwhile it's like the two days after I got from the hospital I was like let's record the birth story I know I'm like'm like, you were like, no, absolutely not. You know, I'm all about Chinese confinement, 40 day period of like, no, your body has to heal. And I'm sure like I can understand the high of it all. I can understand where it's like, well, no, I have to care for this baby.

Starting point is 00:55:17 I have to get up. I have, I have things to do, but like, yeah, like people, like I always see like when the baby's born, all eyes are on the baby and everyone is like worried about the baby. And I – there is like a feeling of sadness I get where I'm like, no, like mom has just gone through like a full-blown like trauma. Totally. And I have to say I didn't feel neglected in that way at all. neglected in that way at all like I didn't I I felt very cared for by everyone at the hospital by Dave by not my parents um because when my mom and dad came to visit they were like literally they came you know when she was maybe 10 days whatever and my mom's like why are you still in bed all day I'm like bitch my vagina's fire still. Like I was in so much vaginal pain. I would say

Starting point is 00:56:08 for sure the first two weeks, like I'm three weeks now and I'm a little able to live a little more freely. But when we did Family Feud, I was like, oh, my vagina's on fire this whole time. Right. Yeah. I did feel really bad for you, but you, you know, you pulled it off. Well, I bombed Family Feud. You guys would have been better off without me. No, I don't think so. I think that, you know, I was more concerned with, like, you, we had to, like, walk fast towards the stage. And we had to be, like, energetic and get up there. And I'm like, you guys are giners. It's it's you know it's under construction right now that was so fun though and that was a good the takeaway from doing that so early after having the baby was like oh this is fun because I love these people like it was you Bobby Andrew Gene Hong and I was

Starting point is 00:57:00 like oh I would not if I was away from my baby this early and with people I didn't like, that would have been like a hell no. But I was – it was really nice and like it almost like filled my cup a little to be around you guys, which was cool. And I was really happy to see you. And I – And it was also only like a three to four hour thing. Right. So it was minimal. That was nice. But I have so many questions about where, like, okay, so the technical part of being a

Starting point is 00:57:30 mother is what scares me the most. Believe it or not, it's not like the physical, like the pushing, whatever that necessarily like I'm scared of. It's car seats, strollers, gadgets, and all of the technical mothering that freaks me the fuck out and i want to know like how how you're dealing with that or if dave is doing like what's the split there i actually feel like that's such a solid take because that is baby gear is like a nightmare that's like the only thing i'm i will complain about is like baby gear the car seat Dave set it up it does hurt my hand to close it like it is that stuff is annoying for sure but um it's such a time I'm I'm I my headline of like how I feel now is that having a baby is like

Starting point is 00:58:24 being on a drug I can't believe you're saying this it's like being on a new drug that you've never tried and it's just makes it's I'm so happy and so into it and I love it and I guys the text messages that I was I was getting after um ace was born I was like I don't know who i'm talking to i don't either i did not see this coming i had no idea what this would be like i kept my expectations low because i knew that and again i'm only three weeks out like anything can happen and you know whatever but at least where i'm at now i'm this is like i love this And I hated pregnancy so much and I'm willing to possibly do it again. I've never met anyone who hated pregnancy more than Esther.

Starting point is 00:59:11 This was something that it was, it was a real, like, it was a real endeavor. It was a real painful journey for you from like the very beginning. Absolutely. Day one. Yeah. Like like and i'm again i don't want to like speak like i know everything because i literally have been a mom for three weeks and that's such a tiny amount of time but i this is i'm like so into it i love it so much when we face time you look so at ease. Mothering.

Starting point is 00:59:46 I was so scared. The second you have a baby, are you a different person? Are you suddenly like nothing else in life matters? I don't know. I just had all these big fears of the unknown. And now that I'm on the other side, I'm like, no, it's not that. You don't change. What I would say is like, I have not changed.

Starting point is 01:00:11 My world has changed. And it's just added this like amazing thing. I don't know. I'm used to only complaining and I don't. Like this is weird. I don't really know how to talk about something where it's not a complaint. Is it weird for you guys? Honestly, it's a little bit shocking.

Starting point is 01:00:37 I would have never expected this because in my head, I was ready for Esther to be like, oh my God, this is so hard. I'm going to drop this baby off at your doorstep. And, you know, I'll see her in six months. But like, no, you're like, give me my baby. I don't want to be a second away from my baby. I am so happy. This is a drug. I never thought I'd hear you say this, but you're like, I would absolutely consider doing this again. Yeah. And I don't want to be like, oh, you have to have a baby because there's a lot of like people out there who don't want kids. And like, I think it's not like I got to the other side and I'm like, everyone has to do this. I don't feel that way. I'm more seeing like, oh,

Starting point is 01:01:17 this was for me. And I think I only knew that subconsciously. And that's probably why I was always like to Dave, like, well, let's just think I just it was very subconscious for me it was never in the forefront of my mind but you also gave yourself a lot of grace I think and I think that helps a lot like you weren't set on a specific outcome like you were just like okay let's see where it goes let's see how I feel yeah and I think being open-minded like that, like you weren't, you also didn't resign to the idea of being like, now I have a newborn, now I'm going to be miserable. And like you, I've never seen someone with such a glow up postpartum and this happy that it kind of is, um, no, well, number one, not, it's shocking to me but also it it's like hopeful

Starting point is 01:02:08 yeah it's hopeful that it you know like you always i mean of course motherhood is hard of course it's a huge adjustment yes and the other like caveats like dave is not working at all right now he is extremely helpful like this is not all falling on my shoulders if someone has now the respect I have for anyone who's ever been a mom it's like you have done some hard shit like you have really like you're so much more qualified if you've been a mom you're so much more qualified for so many things I don't know it's early on but like are you looking at your mom and sister differently yeah absolutely like because my sister the way she prioritizes her kids so much I've always been like your own what about your own

Starting point is 01:02:51 life but now I'm like I can't believe how stupid I was of course she prioritizes her kids so much like they're her babies like I oh my god like I just I was not understanding of that before. And with my mom, I see, I can definitely tell the way she is with Ace. It's like she's such a baby mom. And so that's cute to see, you know. And I also see why I like, because, you know, when I was little, I grew up like I couldn't go to dance class without seeing my mom in the window. Yeah. And I always would think about that. That's so funny.

Starting point is 01:03:35 My mom just standing there for an hour class once a week. But now I'm like, I get it. I get why she did that. Whereas before I'm like, that was just weird that she did that. But now I'm like, yeah, if my baby did that. Whereas before I'm like, that was just weird that she did that. But now I'm like, yeah, if my baby wanted that. Yeah. Oh, that's so cute. My best friend is about to pop in a couple of weeks. And so I'm on baby talk and I am on just full on TikTok for... Probably I've sent you two so much. Right. It's part of my algorithm. And a lot of it is very frightening stories. A lot of it is I, you know, there's like a negativity generally that you feel like, oh, like you have to be in solidarity with like how, you know, how tiring or sleep deprived and all that.

Starting point is 01:04:19 And I understand that. I understand that that is a reality of it all. And I understand that. I understand that that is a reality of it all. But like, it does feel so nice for you, for me to hear you say that, like, hey, I like this. I really like this, especially coming from you. It's so weird. Yeah. there is a lot of content out there like talking about how hard motherhood is and so i don't know i think i do feel this is like just one of the areas of my life where i i'm not going to be a complainer and i there's i'm just it's it's a tbd i timeamp that remember when we remember when you said that let's clip that I'm also

Starting point is 01:05:07 let's revisit this six months from now you know I'm 36 I've been working the last 10 years I've been focused on this other thing and I think that

Starting point is 01:05:18 is helpful too we've talked about this how you've given yourself a lot of time to really like grow in all the ways that you feel like you needed to like career wise like personally yes in your relationships and so that makes sense

Starting point is 01:05:32 also i do want to point out that i thought i wasn't going to hear from you about like the pot like you're such a workhorse that oh dear god that part was frightening four days after you were like so what do we well the baby sleeps no i just mean that like she's a machine she's a machine i thought i wasn't gonna hear from you for like weeks this i'm telling you esther is a sleeper build anyone can argue with me about it i know you say you complain i know that you know a lot of times you appear like you're like a fragile thing dude you're a fucking athlete and i've always said that and in a day um you know, a lot of times you appear like you're like a fragile thing. Dude, you're a fucking athlete. And I've always said that. And then a day, you know, on induction day, I was like, dude, you're an athlete. I know you are. Yeah, you really pumped me up. And I mean, as like Stella is saying, like you were all business all the time, like whether you were in labor or

Starting point is 01:06:21 postpartum, I was like, oh, we're still talking about the podcast. I know. It was, you know, I'm turning it off a little more now, but it's like the change doesn't happen right away. So it's like, okay, I had the baby, but I'm still thinking about Trash Tuesday. Like, but then like, as the weeks have gone by, I'm like a little bit less thinking about it. And so it is interesting. Like was still part of your brain was still there yeah like it could not transition over well there's a very specific reason for that you were working the day before you went into labor so I it's hard to erase that from your head when you were um forced to force but I do end up being grateful for that because it kept me busy.

Starting point is 01:07:10 And, you know, hey, people work all to the end of pregnancy, so we're just showing that reality. Right. Right. What are some other questions we have, Stella? Someone asked, did you get the shakes after giving birth? The shakes? I feel like she had the shakes throughout labor, maybe.

Starting point is 01:07:29 I need to know about the pain and physical recovery part and how it compares to expectation. Okay, yes. That's a good question. Where are you at now, three weeks out? Are you... Okay, one thing I didn't mention, I refuse to look at my vagina. I have not looked at it and I at about two weeks out I was feeling some particular burning I remember I texted you you even offered to look for me right I was like I don't care if you're not looking at it yourself

Starting point is 01:07:58 just said you know put the camera down there send a pic I was too scared to even do that so I set a doctor's appointment you know because I was burning and stuff down there. She looked, everything was fine. That burning I was feeling was just the stitches, which you had suggested that may be what it was. Love having a nurse, my own personal nurse. Yeah, the recovery, I just took a lot of Tylenol, Motrin, and like they gave me something a little stronger. And I was just every four to six hours, whatever. And if I skipped that, it was a problem. Did you have to do the sitz bath? No, I didn't do a sitz bath, but I did end up just like putting a little bit of water in my bath at home and just sitting in warm water. And that helped a little bit of water in my bath at home and just sitting in warm water and that helped a little bit. But yeah, I would say now that I'm three weeks out, it's much better. I'm not like ready to go walk for 40 minutes or anything like that. But the first two weeks,

Starting point is 01:08:57 I was like, oh, I'm still really feeling this. This is, is this normal? And everyone's like, yeah, it is. And you feel like it shouldn't be because you're like, really? It's still hard to get out of bed and it hurts my, it burns my vagina getting up and down. I have to take care of a baby. I'm just like, how is that possible? Also, I do remember that after, right after you gave birth, the two days, your whole body was sore. Really sore. I didn't expect that either.

Starting point is 01:09:23 It felt like I'd been in a car accident or like done a really hard workout. Every muscle all over my body was sore. Really sore. I didn't expect that either. I felt like I'd been in a car accident or like done a really hard workout. Every muscle all over my body was sore. And I think that that was just from all the like sitting in bed, pushing, whatever it was, I didn't feel. Right. Because the epidural, then later you feel it. And so that was something that's scary. I'm glad you're bringing that up. So if people feel that it it's like totally normal. And the pain, I'm a big believer in pain medicine because I don't want to suffer. That's why I don't abuse it because I want it to be, I want it to work when I need it. Very, very important. And then there was another question I forgot.

Starting point is 01:10:02 You pretty much answered all of the questions they have except for, is she goth yet? Okay. Who do you think she looks like? I think she looks like both of us. I think so, too. And it makes me so happy. And I think she's the most beautiful baby that's ever been born. She really is so, so, so cute. I see Dave up here. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:22 And then you in the second half I know it's so funny and I yeah I just I love staring at her it's all the cliches of like motherhood I think but I'm just trying to think if there's anything else helpful to share with people who are going through this because I just want to like that it would all the TikToks I watched all the friends that told me their stories all the whatever I could find was so useful to me that's why I wanted to do this because I'm like it's my turn to like pay it forward and get all the attention I did love feeling like the star in the birth room that part we knew that was an expected no honestly that was really informative just to know that like

Starting point is 01:11:05 all the different complications too that can happen like even with like a yeah birth and that was something Whitney had told me too going into it that was helpful she was like things will go wrong you they might not even tell you and it'll end up okay like in that you know that was just good to know and that is basically what ended up happening. Yeah. Remember what I said to you about, I just think in general, like, listen to the nurses and, like, look to the nurses. Remember what I said about turbulence and how you used to be scared on planes and stuff? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:41 And, like, look at the stewardesses and if they're calm, which it is their job to be calm no matter what, but it still helps. But they've been through this. They know what's a little scary. They know what's very scary. They know what's serious that, you know. And I also, I didn't have a doula. I didn't take any classes.

Starting point is 01:11:58 I think all that stuff is great. I also think TikTok is like a crazy resource for all this information. Talking to your friends. You know, again, I knew I was going into an induction, which is like people don't love those. So I just knew every – I wanted to know every step. That's kind of why I laid it out here. Yeah, I think you can do – again, my approach was research it on my own didn't like want to

Starting point is 01:12:29 hire a doula or you know go take classes that sounded kind of boring anyway the the nurse tells you how to push yeah she walks you through it she's like it's she's looking at you coaching you and so again this thing that i was so scared and you take breaks yeah from pushing it's it's not even like even in my situation where they had to up the pitocin get the baby out because of the fever it wasn't like get her out get her out it was just like here's a contraction time to push push push. Rest. Right. It was very calm. And I just, I'm so shocked that this thing that I was so scared of was completely fine. Oh, what did your doctor say to you after? She goes, and you wanted a C-section.

Starting point is 01:13:18 She totally immediately started roasting me that I wanted a scheduled C-section. And I was like, okay. roasting me that I wanted a scheduled c-section and I was like okay and and again I still love the thought of a c-section because it does remove a lot of anxiety from the process however I'm really grateful that I got the experience of having the labor the way that I you know giving birth the way I did because I do understand now that there is something magical about giving birth. I didn't, I was like very against it before. I was like, I don't want any part of that. And now I'm like, that was amazing. And I'm so grateful. So. I'm really excited for you both. Thank you. I was super emotional. The first time I saw a picture of her, I was like, oh my God, my friend cooked that. She made that.

Starting point is 01:14:06 This is like, that's a real baby. And, you know, I'm in awe of you as a teen mom. I'm in awe of your teen mom experience. And I'm just so glad that everything worked out and that you're in a good place. You're in a good rhythm, it seems like, with motherhood. Yeah. And also, like, thank you to our audience. I know that some of you guys love when I have been talking about my pregnancy and some of you are bored by it. And thank you for your patience, whichever category you find yourself in.

Starting point is 01:14:43 And today's episode was really just like oh my god let's just dive really deep into the birth story for people who want to hear it um and i do want to say one more thing yeah which is i know this is you know um esther appreciation episode no but listen i and i've said this to you like in private, I just want to say that like the way you showed up to bank as many episodes as you did and to go through the transition of this show, like a lot of you guys don't realize that like, you know, it's not evident in, in our latest episodes, but that transition was tricky. There were a lot of things that happened behind the scenes that were very confusing for us. And in my head, I had imagined

Starting point is 01:15:34 that there was no way my friend would be pregnant on set the day before, two days before she would have to give birth. That that wasn't the plan. I don't want that for anybody. I wouldn't want that for myself. And so like, I just want to give you like credit for just like championing through like a very, like not an easy transition for this show. And I really want you guys to like, I don't know, like give it up for her. Just like the appreciation that I have for you to just, for just showing up. And like, I know't know, like give it up for her. Just like the appreciation that I have for you to just, for just showing up. And like, I know you say you're a complainer, but you didn't complain. You just showed up and we got it done. And that was difficult. It was difficult even for me.

Starting point is 01:16:15 Well, this is very nice of you to say. And I just want to say back to that, like, same to you. I know that you were also dealing with some stuff that, you know, made that a hard thing to do. And I also want to acknowledge, like, this is just, it's an hour or so podcast where we just get to talk and have fun. So it is always a pleasure as well. to talk and have fun so it is always a pleasure as well um so while i receive your compliment i also want to say like i'm trying not to deflect it but like this is easy it's fun it was a happy distraction but you're right it was fucking hard to being that big also it's like i have there were days where i'm like do i really want to be immortalized on camera this fucking huge? I thought I would hide. You wouldn't complain, but I could tell you were not comfortable. You mean she was mouth breathing?

Starting point is 01:17:14 Oh, yeah. The Rick episode where I'm like, hold on. Yeah. And there were a couple times, I'm not kidding, just for the audience knows, I had to walk over and be like, are you okay? Because you were like, I was really worried. I know. I was like, I'm fine, Stella. be like, are you okay? Like, do you? Because you were like, I was really worried. I know. I was like, I'm fine, Stella. Get away from me.

Starting point is 01:17:29 Or even getting out of your car. But like, let's keep it real. People work much harder jobs up until the end of pregnancy. But you're not wrong. And I appreciate that all these things can be true. And yeah, there's been a lot of changes and i'm just i'm really grateful to our audience because they've been really supportive of us dude you guys have stuck around and we're so happy about it and like we're taking it seriously that

Starting point is 01:18:00 you have stuck around and we really want to give you guys awesome episodes and we do have awesome episodes coming up that are much funnier and much probably sadder than this one mostly funnier um but congrats again thank you guys for watching i um i'm so happy you know i know you you say this is for a very specific audience because it's a birth story but it's like listen if you're a guy listening to this, you don't even have a girlfriend, like listen to this episode and learn. That's true. Just take notes. Take notes, please. That's true. Yeah. There is benefit to knowing this stuff. It might turn a girl on that you're like, oh, I know what Pitocin is. I know what an epidural does. I know it's like an IV and not a one-time thing. I know what the ring of fire is. What is the ring of fire?

Starting point is 01:18:54 Is that when the head comes? The crowning. Yeah. Thank God I didn't feel that because the thing that they call it is really shitty. Ring of fire? Ring of fire, yeah. That's fucked up. Apparently you can also feel it even on epidural. Really? Mm-hmm. Turn that epidural up, baby. Also good for people to hear, like a very supportive partner. Sorry just to give it up to Dave as well. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:19 It's truly, I hope guys watching know that, you know, they have a job too. A big one. Yeah, it's very – it's hot when a guy is involved. Yeah, daddy vibes is my weakness. It's really hot. Good job, Dave. Thank you. We love you, Dave.

Starting point is 01:19:37 We love you. Thank you guys for watching. Yes, thank you. Congrats to our brand new mama. Give her all the love and support. watching yes thank you congrats to our brand new mama give her all the love and support and i'm sure we'll be um hearing um parts of the story you've forgotten yeah i know i feel a little brain dead but um and we'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode we have so much fun stuff coming i'm really excited there's a lot of twists and turns coming up. So please,

Starting point is 01:20:06 we'll see you next week. Bye.

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Esther’s Birth Story (induced at 39 weeks) w/ Dave King

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