Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Esther's First Noogie

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors:   BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at http://betterhelp.com/bloodbath Liquid Death - Support our sponsor and check out https://liquidde...ath.com Lucy - Go to https://lucy.co and use promo code TUESDAY to get 20% off all products on your first order, including gum or lozenges! Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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Starting point is 00:01:31 it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started come see me on the
Starting point is 00:02:16 road burbank california flappers comedy club july 15th salt lake city ut, Utah, Wise Guys, July 16th through 17th. Tempe, Arizona, Improv, August 6th through August 8th. New York City, Caroline's on Broadway, August 12th through 14th. Bakersfield, California, The Tremler Brewing Company, August 21st. Hartford, Connecticut, Funny Bone, August 27th through 29thth this totally fits my theory about how the most successful people i think are people who were rich when they were young it all got taken away and then they're like i need it back and then they like well yeah because if you're like your your whole identity is that you're a rich person when you're a kid like you learn that you're rich like so when you're a kid you know when you like most of your bad habits you learned when you were like under three probably under seven so you learned i'm a rich person i
Starting point is 00:03:14 can just have these things and stuff and then so you feel like you deserve it right and you work for it yeah you you and you talk to the people a certain way you just have like a self-esteem that's different yeah i think it's it's more just like you're so determined to work for it yeah you you and you talk to the people a certain way you just have like a self-esteem that's different yeah i think it's it's more just like you're so determined to work for it that nothing will nothing will deter you because that's shakira's story too shakira grew up wealthy and then all of her money was like and he's laughing at the shakira reference it's just their references they're height twins they're literally always pop culture like you're like i'm interested school is a pop tell me more tell me my shirt and a nicole smith okay so tell me more about shakira so she grew up wealthy she lost it and she got it and then now she is so
Starting point is 00:03:56 rich like richer than all the other pop stars she wrote that song like hey uh like what's that song that it's like really popular at all the soccer games oh yeah yeah i know i don't i'm not because you know she's married to gerard pk well they're not married well but they have children this is the best part of it too you're correct in all of your things yeah it's just that it's like you went to college for pop culture i know oh wait didn't she go to ucla incognito i don't know actually yeah she went there and she learned english and she was like a straight a student and um but she not even a semester she like she went there legitimately what if we got esther's she's been um
Starting point is 00:04:38 uh what's her name what we were talking about she'd been been Shakira the whole time. She just like pulls her mask off. I think that's the best. That's the best like recipe for success. Like if you want your kid to be successful, just like max out all your credit cards the first like eight years of their life and then take it all away and then push them into the world and they'll make Shakira money. What's the age that you take it all away? Because. What was it taken from you? It got taken from me at the age of eight.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Okay. That works. So from age one to eight, from birth to eight, I was, yeah, I lived a very charmed, very rich girl life. to eight I was uh yeah I lived a very charmed very rich girl life I also though feel like if your dad had been was your dad he had always had money so he had that right oh my dad always had money okay so but if your dad had been poor when he was little and had said things to you like oh no we might run out of this money I think that it could have not worked do you know what I mean because it's more the message not the amount of money like because i think about it because my dad like we were fine but we but like he treated it like we were gonna run out of money at any minute i wonder why did he do that he didn't have that
Starting point is 00:05:53 much money he grew up poor and you guys had a lot of kids right what your dad was three of us yeah so my dad's just really smart so my dad grew up and he he like he took me to his house in um he grew up in long island and you know it was like they they had my my dad and my aunt shared a room and stuff but my grandfather left them and went back to like france he was in the military he was in the army and just married this french woman and just left them. What? So my grandmother had to work at a factory, and so she was working all the time. And they weren't like, they didn't like ever get evicted from their house or anything,
Starting point is 00:06:32 but his mom was like busting her ass. Did he miss his dad? His dad was like really mean to him, but a lot of my dad's trauma is with his dad. And they had reconnected when my dad was like 18. I think he was just like a really like angry hair trigger pressure person which my dad was too but worked on and then um what did you think of him he was weird i mean it was nice to have like a new grandfather that was fun but i remember having
Starting point is 00:06:58 a pillow fight with him and him being very mad at me like he was gonna like really like very pissed at a child in this pillow fight like really mad that sounds like me well anyone that would even swing a pillow at you deserves it they should know better well we did all take sort of a nap together the other day in my bedroom uh-huh and i thought about it i was like what would happen if we legitimately had a pillow fight and esther would be flung across the room. She's too little. I would be upset. I feel like I could take a pillow
Starting point is 00:07:28 and just knock you further than expected. I'd be like, oh shit. I have a friend who once gave me a wet willy and we didn't talk for like three years after. That's right, I remember that. A wet willy that was like absolutely violating. What about, what do you call it, Americans call it an an's called an anugi
Starting point is 00:07:45 like this yeah what's so bad about that I'm so glad you said that because it's all I want to do to you what is it it's so painful without doing it hard I won't do it hard I swear to God it never doesn't hurt it's like if I did this really hard that literally feels good. I knew she was gonna say that. No, no, no, no, no. No, I'm not. You know when someone is- Can you see how like, if I'm gonna be like in a headlock doing it? Yeah, I could see how it'd be like, oh, that's so uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Which is literally my dream. Did you guys see that? That was a dream sequence of mine. Well, maybe you have padded knuckles cause mine are just super like bony. I just didn't really, I just didn't wanna hurt her. No, it started to be like, oh, that's annoying. Did you give people noogies ever never i got
Starting point is 00:08:26 i feel like i have i've headlocked you in the past about wedgies did you give wedgies no i didn't assault people did you give wedgies i've never given a wedgie to a child and reaching up you have to be taller than them to get it i didn't assault other children did you you? No. Maybe we should announce Happy Pride. Oh, yeah. Happy Pride. We weren't just stealing these looks. We weren't just rainbow washing. We're not that company, right? We actually care about
Starting point is 00:08:56 our LGBTQ community. Yes, we do. In honor of Pride, since I had no rainbow clothes, I wore my Anna Nicole Smith shirt since I feel like she's kind of a queer icon she's an icon like for the gay community this is the least anna nicole shirt to the it's so like understated she's so muted this was from like this limited edition guest collab like five years ago and look did i want the shirt to not be a men's size yeah
Starting point is 00:09:22 but i didn't know when I ordered it. Why? Well, if you buy it, then you can grow into it. But it was like, it was like $95. What about Anna Nicole speaks to you? Her beauty, just that she loved Marilyn Monroe too and wanted to be like Marilyn Monroe. And she was so free and so entertaining. Like, I love that she would just make fun of herself um and just mostly how absolutely beautiful she was wait do you want to be like marilyn monroe
Starting point is 00:09:52 is that why you're always in the cake you're supposed to jump out of it not dive into it i i don't like i think of being like marilyn mon Monroe is like out of the cards for me. If that's the way you say that phrase. Wait, who was our brunette icon? In a men's shirt maybe. Did you wish you were blonde? I never really wished I was blonde, but I looked up to and worshipped the great blondes. Madonna, Britney Spears, Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith.
Starting point is 00:10:20 The blondes are like, that's who we had and that's who I loved. But what about monica belucci who is that she's just an italian goddess of a woman very curvy she kind of broke that whole idea of stick thin we should be talking about our brunette i don't know this woman monica belucci Monica Bellucci. Oh, Italian. Sophia Loren. Oh, yeah. She's beautiful. Oh, I recognize her. But she's super curvy, bodacious. My two favorite looks are one, like the buxom blonde.
Starting point is 00:10:55 And then two, I love a woman with super dark, dark black hair. And then if she has like light eyes, feel like that's so beautiful but i love the card king kim kardashian is like our brunette icon i feel like right you're not making faces i'm not i don't i just know she's not my icon now um but she's a lot of people i just like skims i don't like her that much but she's like a gorgeous yes she's clearly gorgeous no undeniably gorgeous to me though it's like the work and stuff is weird because it is such a transformation and it's kind of like if i'm looking at what i know of like the beginning of kim kardashian i'm not looking up to that but marilyn monroe had tons of face work too but i didn't like she
Starting point is 00:11:39 wasn't like i didn't watch it happen you know, she was already like long dead. But yeah, there's something about... She was long dead. Long dead Johns. Yeah, I always looked up. I guess it's like a more narcissistic thing, right? Like you probably like look up to people that look more like you if you're looking at... Do you have light eyes? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:58 Really? You do. You do have pretty... Do you have hazel eyes? Blue? No, they look blue. They change. They're different.
Starting point is 00:12:04 Yeah. I wrote gray on my driver's license to be special. To be goth. Do you have hazel eyes? Blue? No, they look blue. They change. They're different, yeah. I wrote gray on my driver's license to be special. To be goth. To be a liar. Because it is a happy pride, I want to hear about everyone's little lessee stories and stories of sexual fluidity, which we love and accept about ourselves. Yes. I personally don't feel a label is correct for me in my sexual fluidity which we love and accept about ourselves yes i personally don't feel a label is
Starting point is 00:12:26 correct for me in my sexual fluidity or most things like what is she what is this yeah have you guys what's your what's your sexual fluidity and experimentation history and a scale of one to ten one being very hetero ten being oh let's go with uh with a one to five one being very hetero and five being fully fully into pussy where would you i just cannot imagine just being like let me get that puss i just like cannot imagine being like fucking tear those panties off i'm gonna but can you imagine someone a woman saying that to you no oh but you've had happy pride regardless to you dreams where i'm like a man but you've had threesomes yeah but i'm not i never do anything with the girl it's like always like i got it
Starting point is 00:13:17 and a lot of times and in college it was like two guys it was like because my boyfriend what yeah my boyfriend was so gay and he's married i like can't believe it i looked he's such a nice guy but i couldn't believe it happy pride i'm like enjoy your family i'm happy for you but like bro wait you had threesome with two guys my yes i was dating this guy in college we're very drunk all the time and um we would hook up but he always like wanted to like bring a guy in and so we'd be at parties and he would kind up, but he always wanted to bring a guy in. And so we'd be at parties, and he would kind of like – it was almost like we were grooming. I didn't even know what was going on because I was just like, whatever, I'm drunk, let's just hook up.
Starting point is 00:13:52 So then he'd be like, let's make it more fun. And then I remember my guy friend coming in, and then he stopped like halfway through, and he just was on the computer. And I was like talking to him later, and he was like, he just kept looking me in the eyes. And I was like, I know, I'm telling you he's gay. Gay gay men would like reach out to he used to wear a suit all the time and we just lived in New Mexico like nobody was wearing a suit I don't think there were jobs that you needed a suit for like he just brought his suit with him and he would like walk around in his suit and gay men would reach for him and I would slap their hands
Starting point is 00:14:20 away I go not when he's mine till he's out. And he's married with children and he seems very happy. He's got beautiful families. I'm like, maybe I was wrong. What happened? I was someone's beard. It would be like making out and then maybe some, like, he'd go down on me. I'd be blowing him. And then the other guy was just there.
Starting point is 00:14:44 Like, I don't know. It just was, I don't know. He was just there? know he was just there like standing there he was there like sounds like like making out with me or whatever i don't know i don't really remember i would do it you would just sit in a dark corner and stare standing over it and you would come harder than everyone no but it wasn't like it was never like that crazy it wasn't like two dicks pounding into me or anything it was really just like i honestly never like that crazy. It wasn't like two dicks pounding into me or anything. It was really just like, I honestly think he just wanted like a man to like look at. And then my guy friend was trying to bang me.
Starting point is 00:15:11 So he was like, here's my opportunity. Oh. Yeah. And you said you were someone's beard? I, well, I think I was someone's beard. Isn't it weird when the beard has a mustache? Because the person. I think I was someone's beard. Isn't it weird when the beard has a mustache?
Starting point is 00:15:27 Please put a mustache, animated mustache on top of me. Well, you don't need to because I have one. I think I was someone's beard. And it was the most abusive relationship of my life. Whoa. He was like, grow a dick. Yeah. The way it was, it was bad.
Starting point is 00:15:42 We'll not get into it because happy pride. He liked your shoulders, I bet. Oh my God. He like nutted on my shoulders every time. Where do you think you are on the scale of one to five? I am very right smack in the middle. Because while I may never feel like I never, I'm not inclined to eat pussy. I will very much get, you know, my pussy eight. Really? Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:16:06 I will take, and I've made out with maybe just as many girls as I have boys. I just don't care. When it comes to sex, it's more like, yeah, I just, I myself cannot, you know, partake in the pie. But my pie can be partaken on. You know what I mean? Put a bib on me. Maybe I am gay no i really feel like i always say i'm um i do a joke where sam i was party by in college where i would like make out with girls at parties and then when guys would pay attention i'd be like bye bitch i'm gonna go
Starting point is 00:16:36 get some dick because i was very like i was always down to like make out and stuff like that but i think i was like that with everyone i would just get i was like a drunk makeup i had to say that would be my nightmare is if i was at a party and i made out with you and i thought something was going on and then you were like bye the girls were never thinking anything was going they were doing the exact same thing i was doing we were wearing like matching knee highs going like pigtails, like trying to make guys like go crazy. Don't worry. They know what's going on. But I did have like a weird almost relationship with a woman that I kind of talked about on one of these episodes.
Starting point is 00:17:12 I just didn't feel gay. Like I just didn't. And she was like very. But emotionally, were you like, you know, was it tugging at your heart? She, well, the things that she said to me that were like kind of like worked i guess yeah because i don't want to like can like say like she was a predator or anything but she really was like planting like she was not taking me being like i'm not into this as a answer and she was we just became like really close friends and she just would say things like well don't you think the
Starting point is 00:17:40 reason that you've never thought you were gay is because you were gay? And I'm like, what? And then I was like, well, maybe. I was like, she just says something so weird that I was like, maybe that's it. But it just had never even occurred. I never had like looked at a woman sexually like that. Like I definitely like admire women's bodies. I think they're beautiful. I can see who's hot.
Starting point is 00:18:02 But I just never have been like, oh, you smell like I want to like tear your clothes. Like it's just never been like that for me. We would like make out a lot. But it was and I remember the guy I was seeing would get mad at me like you're leading her on i'm like i'm not i'm literally all i do is say no i swear to god i'm not it's like she's just my friend and she's always there and it would be like fun to you know make out with her and stuff i like you talking about esther this way what the guy she was always very upset where do you where do you land on this i feel like i'm in the middle like i don't quite feel ready for like a label like i don't know i i also just don't feel the need to like come out as anything and like make some big announcement but i definitely am
Starting point is 00:18:39 like fluid and i'm also like going to marry a man so that's like yeah do we need to come out with what we are after we like find our like it doesn't matter no I don't think so I mean I'm like power to the people who are who are coming out is what they are like I think that's cool everyone should be whatever they are but of course I also think I'm a little more comfortable with this conversation now that I am engaged to uh to my partner because I feel like my parents would be judging me, you know, like if I was single or something and said I was into both genders, like I feel like I see how that's hard for people to like handle. I don't know. Well, it's like change.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Well, they did because my parents did make fun of me when I was little. What did they say? I mean, my parents like caught me looking at pictures of naked women and then they like would call me lessee and stuff like my whole family. Where are these pictures? How are you looking at them? On the internet. On the internet.
Starting point is 00:19:35 How old were you? Elementary school, maybe. What internet was there? AOL. You could download pictures of naked people. Oh, my God. You're like my brothers. Didn't have that set up.
Starting point is 00:19:43 That's when the broke part of my life came in. So we didn't even have dial up. But I did steal like old Playboys and in my bedroom, I don't know if that's a bad thing, but like we always put, I always put up like naked pictures of women. I was like that too.
Starting point is 00:19:59 And I had a Tupac poster and I don't even think I knew who he was. Oh, we all had a Tupac poster, right? We're like, it's Tupac. But no, you guys, I bought Tupac's bodyguards book. Like, you have to imagine that I went to Blair High School, like there wasn't a single white person there except for cross eyed pookie who threw me in a bush. But it was it was Yeah, it was mostly black. So my influences when I first landed in America were purely just like rap, hip hop, all of that. So yeah, Tupac, as Annie would say, was my god, all eyes on me, you know. I had a Reefer Madness poster.
Starting point is 00:20:39 What is it? Reefer Madness, this like old documentary about how weed is bad for you. That was a documentary? Or well, it was like documentary about how weed is bad for you. That was a documentary? Or well, it was like an instructional, like it was for schools. What did they say? They were like, it'll make you go kooky. It was like really funny. It was like, it's like people, you know, it's like when you hear people are going to like
Starting point is 00:20:57 jump out a window thinking they could fly. They really like made it sound like it was acid or something. Oh, really? Yeah. But I had a Reefer Madness poster. I had a lot of britney i don't think i had i had sublime i because my mom was so like rejecting of femininity i it is weird that i wasn't i mean that's how much i was like i think i'm not gay
Starting point is 00:21:16 but you never know like i really can't say like if i met someone that that did it what do you mean your mom was rejecting of femininity She fucking hated anything girly. She would be like, ugh, I hate the color pink. If I was playing with dolls, she'd be like, I don't get it. Really? But it's all because she was adopted into a household of, it was just her and her brother. And she just really, like, her, and this is just my guess, obviously, I don't know. But I do think that she was, like, trying to get attention by, like, being being one of the boys and so she would always say she would like go to the park and like
Starting point is 00:21:48 put her hair in a cap and try to go play baseball which i'm like i think that was is that some form of a pick me girl yeah a little bit right yeah do you think your mom is non-binary i don't know no the thing is she probably was girly i think she just was trying to get attention and her mom was very like pushing her to be feminine so that's how my mom is yeah my mom always like tried to dress me up in dresses and i hated them and one christmas i got a uh a baby doll and i said i won't drive home with it it has to be in the trunk like i hated it so much it made me sick they put you instead they're like the dog is the front seat and like she was always just trying to make me look like cute and girly and i absolutely hated it actually there's a story that this is kind of related but kind of kind of not but basically when i was two years old my mom took me to the shoe store i was trying to get me to try on like these like girly shoes and apparently i screamed i don't want to try on these shoes oh wow
Starting point is 00:22:53 and my mom just goes okay we're leaving and she just like left the store really fast i'm like how did i know she's like you must have heard your dad on the phone say that like she said she just says it as like it was the most embarrassing moment of her life. I'd be so proud if my kid just cussed out loud at JCPenney. I know. Like say that again. Say it again. Here's a mic.
Starting point is 00:23:14 My brother went in. My mom was getting us like snacks after school at a convenience store. And my brother went in. And she was in line. He just goes, mom, this means fuck you. And she was like, get the car. Esther. Coco.
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Starting point is 00:24:20 And that's my favorite feature as well as a journal feature where I don't have like as soon as I'm in my therapy session, she knows what we're going to cover based on my journal entry that week. How about the fact that you don't have to sit in a waiting room? The service is available for clients worldwide. They have licensed professional counselors who are specialized in depression, stress, anxiety, anger, LGBTQ matters, self-esteem. The list goes on. Anything you share is confidential. It's convenient, professional, affordable, and you can check out the testimonials posted daily on their site. And we want you to start living a happier life today. And as a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash bloodbath. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health again that's better help help.com
Starting point is 00:25:05 slash bloodbath i cannot believe this day has come i have worshipped this brand for maybe a year now it's it's got it all it's funny and they have the sparkling option for our little miss thing over here so liquid death is a new water brand out there that looks like a tall boy can of beer. And it's actually literally just spring water or sparkling water. But you carry it around and people are like, are you drinking beer at 9 a.m.? And I'm like, no, I'm just hydrated. Do you know why it's called Liquid Death, Esther? Why?
Starting point is 00:25:38 Well, because it will brutally murder your thirst. And their infinitely recyclable tall boy cans are helping to bring death to plastic bottles i know which is a very important thing for you well okay the most important thing is if you have not tried flat mountain water out of a can you're missing out there's something about drinking regular water out of a can that makes me feel like a king. Like I feel like I am so royal. I'm royalty. They also donate 10% of the profits from every can sold to help kill plastic pollution.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Okay, so I'm extremely against plastic water bottles because I like to leave my water in my car and when the plastic gets hot, it's so nasty. But when you have the can, you can leave it in the heat. You can leave it in the cold. Maybe not the cold, actually. I don't know what aluminum does in the cold, but liquid death, you guys, it in the heat you can leave it in the cold maybe not the cold actually i don't know what aluminum does in the cold but liquid death you guys it's available esther i feel like this
Starting point is 00:26:29 is your dream come true it is you get to stay sober but appear drunk i look like i'm cool and like i'm a tough girl but it's water this is the ultimate cool girl drink it's the ultimate i'm funny but also healthy drink so you guys go find liquid death you will love it liquid death.com have you guys ever gone to any like big pride celebrations like the big west hollywood parade or anything like that i so i used to live in long beach so long beach our sidewalks are painted rainbow i used to live right next to hot Java, which was a very, very cute gay hub. So, yes, I definitely enjoyed Pride every year. And it was it's so fun.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Like it's just even all like my my male, even like my my straight male friends would always go out. We got like cut off shorts, the tightest stuff. It'd be so cute. I haven't been to the Pride parade, but George, can you put on the screen the Silver Lake Leather Fest? Oh, yes. Oh, I went to that and that was quite exciting. Esther, I don't know if you'd be able to do it. I've done the West Hollywood Pride before.
Starting point is 00:27:34 It's really like, it's beautiful. Like, it's so fun and it's so much. It's fun. You know who we should have on the show is Margaret Cho. Because like, how her life was shaped was, is so interesting. Because I think both of her parents owned, like, a video store that sold, like, adult, like, sex videos and stuff like that. Didn't they? This is where I went.
Starting point is 00:27:59 And guys were getting zipped up in. This was the craziest thing I've ever seen. So this was before I went to. It's off Sunset. That's what it's called. This was, like like 2005 or something. So I came out here and my friend was, I was staying with my friend who's gay and he was like, oh, I'm going to go to this fest.
Starting point is 00:28:12 But he didn't know it was this crazy either. But guys were getting zipped up and they had a body bag and guys would get zipped up all but their balls. They would have like their little chicken heart. Yeah, their little chicken heart hanging out. And then they would get whipped. Their balls would get whipped. What? And there was a line. It was like would get whipped. Their balls would get whipped. What?
Starting point is 00:28:26 And there was a line. It was like crazy. Where's your whistler bell, Esther? Well, no, I don't want to. She has a knife. I don't want to kink shame, but that sounds really intense. No, no, no. To not know that was, literally, more power to you if you want to do that.
Starting point is 00:28:39 That's incredible. But I just had no clue. Like my friend had no clue. We were like, oh my God. Esther, so you um I watched this documentary I forget what it's called but it's about an old Jewish couple and I think they were from Silver Lake or I forget where they're somewhere in Los Angeles but they were this old couple that were the only video store in Los Angeles that sold gay porn and gay magazines. Circus of Books.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Oh, yeah. Is that what it's called? Yeah. I don't know. I think that's the place. I think it is. But they are the cutest couple. And what they did for the whole gay scene in Los Angeles
Starting point is 00:29:16 is the best thing I've ever heard. Like, I cried in that documentary. Really? Have you gone to dancing at gay clubs, Esther? Yeah. Like, I mean, gay clubs obviously play clubs esther yeah like i mean gay clubs obviously play the music that i like i definitely have like the music taste of a of a gay person it's pretty obvious well i was listening to some sarah mclachlan on the way over so i would say
Starting point is 00:29:37 i'm on the other why why are you listening i just felt like it what's your favorite sarah mclachlan song well what came on was um, which is the dog, the missing eye dog song. Yeah. And the reason I had it on my phone is because, yeah, isn't that weird that you wrote this song and now it's like missing legged dogs? I had it for making, I made a video. So I had downloaded it to like put that in the background. I can't remember what it was of, but obviously something to do with.
Starting point is 00:30:04 Will you make a video to Adia? Yes love that song such a good oh it's beautiful i'll make a dance for you do you guys please on the other one i really like is the one that came out a little i was already in college but like the lyrics go like you know and i try i've fallen i've sunk so low oh yes that one's so good that's my favorite that's my favorite one Esther please if you if you dance to that Esther I will I will cry okay I would love to make you cry happy beautiful tears it would be just so magical if you did and so emotional Annie isn't that a great song it's such a good song I also do you guys know who sean colvin is yes okay so i was listening to the song i just remembered the song out of nowhere the song climb on it's
Starting point is 00:30:50 the cheesiest lyrics but i was listening to it on the way driving over here and i haven't listened to it since i was like in college and i literally got verklempt i was like oh my goodness it's my favorite that's my favorite word verklempt i like, is it raining out or am I tearing up listening to the song about saving a place in heaven for me? I mean, it was really like some of the lyrics I was like, but it really was like, it's just like, it's a song about how like you spend your time like trying to be strong on your own and then now you can climb. I just, I can't even talk about it. I'm on my period obviously. What are some very impressionable music videos you watched as um you know either pre-teen or teenager like on mt hit me baby one more yeah baby one more time but honestly i'm sorry to give the cheesy answer even every
Starting point is 00:31:37 britney one um what was the one oops i did it again is when she was in the red, right? But the most amazing thing that I have ever seen that was the most life altering thing was the VMAs when Britney Spears ripped that suit off and she had the sequin thing and her body was absolutely fucking ripped in a way that I've never seen a body be ripped. I'm getting chills. It was, and I'm not like really.
Starting point is 00:32:05 A Britney stan? I mean, I can't deny that her songs have been very popular in my life. But I don't like, I don't really like follow anyone like that. But it's like, it really was like that. I was like, your body can look like that. Like you can work out that hard and get that ripped. And it wasn't even, it was in a way that was athletic it was so yeah it wasn't like skinny like she had she worked best like her body was i feel like what
Starting point is 00:32:33 part of her like i don't know just it was such a big deal she had that stomach where like there was still a little bit of a chubby and she was so freaking athletic she was such a true dancer and she was so freaking athletic she was such a true dancer always working out i don't know if you guys ever saw um kevin britney and britney and kevin it's chaotic they're like short-lived reality show but she had a treadmill in her hotel room like she would just like sprint on her treadmill right next to her bed when she was in a hotel she was so freaking athletic and i she still is really athletic um but I just love an athlete. I love a dancer. No, her body is still like smoking.
Starting point is 00:33:09 A female athlete. I was talking to someone about this. Remember when everyone was like, oh, my God, she looks terrible. When she did that performance when she was like wearing black something. It was like, I don't remember how long ago. Oh, give me more. And everyone was like, oh, my God, what happened to Brittany? And she like, if you look back at that now, she looks like absolutely incredible.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Yeah, she was just out of it, though. She that was yeah that was the beginning of the my my very impressionable video for me was um Aerosmith crazy oh yeah Alicia Silverstone and we'd love Tyler right like imagine a little Filipino girl thinking that oh when I get to America that's what I'll be doing I'm jumping out of windows and i'm gonna somehow it's gonna be strong enough that i can do a bungee jump tie it to her belly button and jump off the bridge no that's a second video when she jumped off a bridge it's a different song but she did get her thing pierced oh i was like i was like and then they tear out and the end of the video they they hop into that with that guy with the tractor and then they they do a little crop what do you
Starting point is 00:34:05 call those crop yeah when they yeah yeah doing like uh donuts and stuff i'm looking up some of the most iconic music videos from the 90s there was one that really fucked me up good but i think no one knows it's a bon jovi one called always and you know who's in it and i looked it what they blew my mind when i was younger because it was the first thing i saw about like some a partner cheating or philandering on another but the two girls that were in it was um the girl who played felicity oh yeah carrie carrie russell and um carla what's her name gorgeous gugino wait what about sorry what about this the music video or there's even just the song praise you by fat boy slim what about the music video or even just the song Praise You by Fatboy Slim? What was the music video?
Starting point is 00:34:47 Like that just came up, but I'm like. Was that when he was in the, was that when, oh, it was, what's his name was lip syncing? Was that when it was? I actually don't remember the video at all. I remember the video. The song is just like crazy. Well, why don't we just go ahead
Starting point is 00:35:00 and shout out Prodigy, Fat of the Land. You remember that album? No no one no takers no he does he does do you remember that pete i love that growing up blur anyone remember blur i remember backstreet boys i want it that way music video yeah oh well like best music videos of all time michael jackson thriller right oh is, are we not allowed to say that? No, why? She's saying why. That's so funny.
Starting point is 00:35:29 I mean, I watched a documentary, but it is a great music video. I didn't watch that documentary. Look, listen, Esther. There was more than just a Michael Jackson in that video, right? There were people dancing their fucking hearts out. There was a director who nailed that job. Why should we take that away from them? Yeah, the people that did a great job around him.
Starting point is 00:35:46 And that's the part Esther liked anyway. The dancing. But didn't that music video when you were little, I was like scared of it. When it came on, I couldn't watch it by myself. Wait, speaking of like pretty epic canceled people's work, I just saw coming out of the closet the R. Kelly thing. Oh. The rock opera. And I'm like, I can't sing, but I've got to to make a rock opera that's the funniest thing i've ever seen in my
Starting point is 00:36:08 life it's really i cannot watch it absolutely the funniest thing i've ever seen wait which one is it is the one outing r kelly with no no no no she's talking about like the music video he made a rock opera that's like three hours long it's like in little pieces and it's it's like it starts out where he's like hooking up with this married woman then her husband comes home and he's just singing the lyrics like it's so funny R. Kelly's hiding in the closet with a gun which is so funny and then the guy comes in sees him then they're like fighting and for some reason R. Kelly stays and he's like I gotta get out of here it's not my business like stuff like that but then he stays then the guy ends up being like well I have to tell you something too and then he calls his lover and then it's a guy and then he's
Starting point is 00:36:48 gay. And then the whole thing is just like and that's as far as I got. But it's so good. Wait, that sounds similar to Isley Brothers contagious. You're contagious. It's the same thing. And I think I oddly remember R. Kelly maybe being or not being there. But I wanted to ask you guys a pretty risque question. And that is, have you ever accidentally or even willingly hooked up with a married man? No. Never? Never. I'm also, I feel like in general, as just a general rule of thumb, like I'm not really
Starting point is 00:37:22 what a married man is like looking to escape from his reality with like i i'm not that like tight yeah not even a man with a girlfriend no she's a little i hope you don't mind me saying you're a little high maintenance i think they're looking for someone that's a little more side piecey then yeah i don't have side demands i don't have side pieces like energy like I feel like I'm calculating everything in your life like it's just not I'm not drawn to that I and I almost wonder if it's because I'm my dad's only child and so like I'm so used to being like the center of a man's attention yeah so that like if I was even felt like pushed to the side a little bit
Starting point is 00:38:02 I would be completely turned off. Yeah, I would. I'm the same way. As soon as I do a head to toe and the first thing I hear or say or see the ring, say, for instance, my brain shuts down. My pussy shuts down. There's nothing I want to do with that. So what happened was a lot of things went wrong in the span of three seconds. This whole production shut down. The lights went down.
Starting point is 00:38:31 George was in a panic. And then while he was trying to get shit together, Esther had to go catch a flight. So we lost the little one. We lost one. All thanks to you. Way to go, George. And that's why I'm not on camera. Give me my fucking banana. Wait, is there like can i have the the good fruit then
Starting point is 00:38:48 do i get the organic fruit today are you gonna double fist i'm gonna dick it here's your banana break boys there was something hold on there was something in pop culture that just happened I feel like I don't
Starting point is 00:39:12 pay attention to pop culture and then I come here and you guys you guys are my TMZ you surprisingly know a lot of really fine details though I've had monumental moments
Starting point is 00:39:21 that I can't forget I can't I can't stop talking about that Britney thing which Britney thing when she tore the thing off oh I talked about five moments that I can't forget. I can't stop talking about that Britney thing. Which Britney thing? When she tore the thing off. Oh. I talked about five minutes ago. How'd you forget? There's so many Britney moments on this show.
Starting point is 00:39:32 It's hard to keep up with you guys. I didn't know you guys were such Britney stans. I like her now compared to back then. I'm not a stan. I don't know why I'm not a stan. I don't have like, I stan reality TV show characters.
Starting point is 00:39:47 That's it. You are a reality. You are MTV challenge stan. I like seeing people like being their rawest, most triggered, and then also having to like stand on like a log for 27 hours while water is pouring on them. Like that to me is heaven. What's your your favorite top three favorite reality shows of all time survivors number one
Starting point is 00:40:10 honestly please keep watching it if it gets canceled i have no reason to live um did i tell the story but when i met jeff probst i was panicked it was literally like the most exciting thing that's ever happened he's like my guy not my i don't want to fuck him not my hall pass but he's the person that when i see him like i'm approaching you i'm talking to you i'm freaking out i ran up to him at i had just done um rogan's podcast for the first time so i was so like i just and i just talked about how much i love Survivor and specifically Jeff Probst. And then I'm at a coffee shop. I see Jeff Probst and I go, oh, my God, he's wearing a fedora.
Starting point is 00:40:51 I'm like, oh, my God, Jeff. I like run up like it's Jeff and a summer fedora. I knew it. And I was like, he's wearing a fedora. You are a summer fedora. No, but I was thinking we should have a fedora episode. Oh, should we try to bring him back? We should try to bring him back.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Well, no, I had a fedora stage is why i'm trying to burn pictures of but it was so good for the bald men you know my ex was bald yeah for the bald men to have a new like thing anyway so i um run up to jeff probes i'm like oh my god oh my god and i have to legitimize legitimize myself immediately like my ego is like he can't just think i'm a regular fan and God, oh my God. And I have to legitimize myself immediately. Like my ego is like, he can't just think I'm a regular fan. And I go, oh my God, I was just on Joe Rogan's podcast and I just, I brought you up. I said, you're the best.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Wow, what a good, good opening. Well, cause I was like, I just need him to know I know powerful people. I was like, he must know. And everybody knows my gift is name dropping Joe Rogan, my dear friend Rogi. Texted him today. Hasn't texted me back, but he will.
Starting point is 00:41:46 He's busy. But so then I like freak out and he was like, you should come on the show. And I was like. Wait, he invited you. He said the line, you should come on the show. Now, does that mean you should apply for the show? Does that mean, bitch, I got you in? And I went, no, no, no, I no i can't i'm like every time i like
Starting point is 00:42:06 pull an all-nighter i disown my entire family i have to i can't tell you how many times i've had to just take a nap and then call my parents and be like i'm so sorry lord lord forgive me please um anyway so um yeah he was like you should come on the show i got a picture with him i look so ugly in it i never posted it it. It was so bad that I couldn't. Wait, I need you to, I need to see it. I'll find it. We can post it on here. But it was, I was like.
Starting point is 00:42:29 It's very un-Annie-like to not post a picture. Of Jeff Probst. Of Jeff Probst. It wasn't the right time either. Like there's like going to be a moment where I need to post this and it might be this. What better time than you just talking about a man, manifesting that into existing,
Starting point is 00:42:42 actually meeting him and then him inviting you on the actual show that you're obsessed with. And let's be real. I think I should do the fucking show. I think that is my bucket list. Kalilah, Lucy Nicotine is a company founded by Caltech scientists and former smokers looking for a better and cleaner nicotine alternative. Finally, tobacco alternatives that don't suck. I love Lucy. Whoa,'t suck. I love Lucy. Whoa, the show?
Starting point is 00:43:08 I love Lucy, the nicotine company, because I obviously, Bobby smokes. Bobby's been a smoker for so many years. But this has really cut down the amount of smoking and it's really helped him achieve his long-term goal of ultimately quitting smoking because it replaces the nicotine in him and it's it's enough to give him that same amount of buzz as a cigarette well the good thing about this is that it's been researched and developed for three
Starting point is 00:43:34 years to be made for people not patients and lucy's created a nicotine gum with four milligrams of nicotine that comes in three flavors wintergreen cinnamon and pomegranate they also have a lozenge with four milligrams of nicotine that comes in cherry ice citrus and mint lucy lozenges and gums are fsa and hsa eligible so you can use fsa cards to purchase lucy now and it's convenient and discreet products can be enjoyed anywhere on flights at work on the go or even in the gym also i'm sending it to my grandma she's 81 years old and she needs this. If you're a smoker and you, let's say, are on a six hour flight, how amazing it is that you don't have to worry about withdrawing on the plane? Well, you know what? Literally, if I had had this when I
Starting point is 00:44:18 visited my grandma, I could just hand this to her in her car ride so she wouldn't have to stop the car and smoke. I think that if you are a non--smoker but you have it for smokers in your life it will do you a favor it's 2021 guys get rid of your cigarettes unplug your vape definitely unplug your vape throw out the dip and get some lucy nicotine gum or lozenges this is the real deal and a subscription to lucy comes directly to your door each month it's so simple and you don't have to leave your house because lucy has delivery down. Lucy lozenges and gums are also FSA and HSA eligible so you can spend
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Starting point is 00:45:01 That's Lucy.co and use promo code Tuesday at checkout. Also, I have to give this disclaimer. Warning, this product contains nicotine derived from tobacco and nicotine is an addictive chemical. But go to lucy.co and be sure to use that promo code Tuesday. So hey, let me tell you a story. I know somebody who obviously did Survivor and she did really well. And I'm going to go ahead and say that I have traveled with this person. And she is very unathletic, very sort of picky with difficult.
Starting point is 00:45:36 So I was like, if that person went far in Survivor, I think anyone can. Now you actually have a lot more in your arsenal than this person and I so I think that you could legitimately kill it I do like when I think about exercising it does cross my mind that I'm like I if I were on the challenge if I was on survivor like I would have to get ready for it you know they don't give you enough time you just get cast I think that's the best part you got to bring all your body fat with you and also there's so many uh seasons where people like don't get that sometimes you're wearing the clothes that you come in so there's so many episodes where they're just girls in like long skirts that i didn't realize that they were gonna
Starting point is 00:46:15 do you know how how valuable i have trouble with that word valuable a long skirt would be in terms of just overall like protection from the elements you could use it as like a dress you could pull it out so many things you could use it as a fishing net but you know my issue with chafing i need any cloth between my so you'll never be caught red handed with a long skirt i'll be caught i'll be caught red-thighed, bleeding, gushing blood. Just gushing blood. Yeah, no, but I, yeah, no, I would, I would, I'm scared of it. And I just know my, my personality is what would lose it for me. But I think that, again.
Starting point is 00:46:58 I'm annoyed. We have a friend. Again. She got brought. I got to rewatch that season because I'm pretty sure she got brought i gotta re-watch that season because i'm pretty sure she got brought to the end because people knew they weren't going to vote for her well i think that she was that season's like villain but she allied herself correctly because she's a very bright woman there is something about this person that i will say is she is
Starting point is 00:47:22 one of the craftiest people I've ever met. Also, she's so funny. She's so funny. And I imagine her just being so like charming, like winning people over in the beginning in that way. Yeah. So yeah, I like a funny villain. Yes. No, it's I talked to Corinne, who is the villain of Gabon, I think. There was a couple she was a villain of, and it's so funny. She's such a fucking villain. It's so hilarious. And if you think about it, if you remember you're on a game and you're there to entertain on television,
Starting point is 00:47:53 that's what's so good about it. It's like, go crazy. Be insane. I just think that I would be too concerned with how I was looking because I have another career. I think you just go balls to the wall. Dude, one, there was a guy on there that got me too'd on it. He's a Hollywood, he's people's manager.
Starting point is 00:48:12 That's so embarrassing if you're, he was like touching all the girls and giving them massages. On the island? Yes, and then they like weren't kicking him off. And then finally like these girls went to this one woman, this older woman who's a, she was like a manager at a trucking place or something. She was like this tough bitch. And she went and she like called him out.
Starting point is 00:48:29 And then everyone, for some reason, defended the guy. And then she got voted out. And she was like, I was just defending the girls. It was just such a good example of the media movement where it's like, oh, no, if you come out, you might get fucked. Yeah. But I will say. But eventually he did get in trouble i'm just really surprised that someone could feel sexual when your basic needs of food clothing and shelter
Starting point is 00:48:53 are not met because that pussy and that those balls are stinking i'm sorry it's just not for me when i am hungry forget your dick yeah forget it tuck it away put it away put it in a fucking shelter and like lock it away for days now okay wait so jeff probe said to me when i said i'm just i'm a nightmare when i don't sleep because everyone is and i'm like uh i think maybe like if i'm sleep deprived hungry to the point where I have a headache. Yeah, those are usually my. But how are you? Like, are you able to pull it together when you're like?
Starting point is 00:49:32 Yeah. I think that I'm really good on low blood sugar. I've tested myself before because I used to be obviously like eating disorderly. So I would do like extreme things with my body, like extreme physical stuff and then extreme starvation. So I don't know now at 36, it might be different. But can you pull up? Do we have internet? Finally? This is so sad. Can you pull up? You guys were a huge production here. Okay, this is we're in a huge down studio. This should not be happening. We're in a Hollywood studio. It's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
Starting point is 00:50:12 It's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Basically. Oh, wait. I thought that's what you were saying your Wi-Fi name was. I was like, Jesus Christ. I was like, it fits you and it makes sense but you'd actually like my wi-fi password i should give it away because no one fucking can i give it away george yeah oh george says x-may yeah and as i said no but my wi-Fi password is so good. Oh, it's so cute. Mine is like, you know, F-I-2-9-6-3-4-5.
Starting point is 00:50:49 I just never changed it. That's, yeah, that's the best way to do it. Like, not having to- Well, I don't want people to know shit about me. Well, my- I don't want people to guess, because sometimes you can guess. Because I always live in apartments, and I'm always like, oh, that bitch is probably like Sandy with a side of salt or whatever, you know, and that person's like, I can tell.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Well, when I was younger, I was obsessed with the movie. Remember, my prom dress was based on Halle Berry. Yes. But also I was obsessed with, remember when she showed her boobs in Swordfish? Yes. And I went to the movies for that and it was like oh my god women we have arrived like that was my teenage is that why you wear fish earrings i love swordfish but that was like when i was younger when i was like on friendster and all of that i all my passwords were swordfish because so the
Starting point is 00:51:38 fucking movie was about so dumb that i was obsessed with her i had one that was like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen fan 69. I always had 69. What's the weirdest email address you've ever – what's the first one you ever made for yourself? Oh, I have one that's AnneFrankfan69 at Yahoo.com. That's still active if you want to throw me one. I never look at it, but – My first – oh, God, this is so horrible.
Starting point is 00:52:06 But you just like are so green when you first get the internet and you wanted like real and boys was so mine was pop that pussy 84 at oh my god at hotmail.com my second one was tickle me 702 was this after your dad passed he was passing see you were going through shit. I was. That's a girl going through shit's handle. They threw my ass on meds real quick. They're like, oh, she ain't right. They're like, we're going to pill that pussy too, right? Here we go, Annie.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Physiological needs. Food, water, warmth, rest. Without that, I'm sorry. The intimate sex all the way up top in the green there, I am incapable of. Yeah, you don't get my warm pussy blanket during this time of chill. No. Your dick's not warming my vagina up. My vagina is warming your dick up. There's just no way that pussy is even like blinking. It's not moving. Thank you,
Starting point is 00:53:03 George, for 30 years later finally pulling up it also looks like the worst one you can find it well i looked it up on my phone screenshot it dropped it we're having this is really high production i'm about to tell them how much you get and they're going to be horrified george has made a million dollars off of us don't tell them we make make a million dollars because then, you know, the people will try to extort us for more. Well, I'm kidding. But also, we could make a million dollars if one of you would just buy a picture of my feet. Finally, okay, it's a million dollars and quarters and you have to pay shipping. Here's what I propose a little something about that, by the way, for OnlyFans.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I think that we should all be tap dancing on some cake. Is that still, is that still? For some reason I thought you were going to say K and I was like, that sounds so fun. Tap dancing on K. We do those two activities match. Yes, sure. Sure. I've never done ketamines.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I don't know what. Well, people do ketamine at like at raves and stuff a lot. So I would assume. But a lot of times yeah i just really okay i mean i miss you i won't do you anymore unless you're prescribed by a real doctor like me like kalilah kalilah can you reinstate your nurse thing so i can do okay i'd have to go back to school to be a nurse practitioner for that but i got you you would have been a good like that would have been your good rap name, Special K. I thought you said nurse practitioner.
Starting point is 00:54:25 I was like, Annie, that's very formal. No, you would not have been good at that. You'd have been so bad at that. Would you like a question? Yes, let's take a question. Oh, I was like looking like that was going to be the question. I'm still trying to read the fucking thing. Belongings and love needs.
Starting point is 00:54:41 I also think it's funny that you brought up the pyramid. You read one thing. Well, no, I'm just saying if red is not met neither of those safety needs belonging love needs esteem needs self-actualization can be met it's like if i don't have my basics i'm not looking for dick right so that's just how i am i don't know if maybe that dude on Survivor is on a reverse, the flip the pyramid. Some men are just the like the cheaters and the liar, the ones that just like want to fuck so bad. Like they're just so, it's like their dick is like pulling them into the room.
Starting point is 00:55:17 Like I always imagine them like trying to stop themselves in a doorway. Is their dicks like thrusting them through a door? Well, I do know a guy who has to jerk off in his office bathroom every lunch break. Like he. George. It's very inappropriate. With us in it? No, George.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Wait, have you ever? One time I was hooking up with this guy. I used to hook up with this bartender. And we were like in the bathroom at the bar he worked at. And I was like like i was blowing him and he and then i got i was too drunk i like started like i was trying to get my sea legs like i was like oh i'm too dizzy i'm about to throw up you know so i like needed him i was like i'm just gonna take like a break and then he just started jerking off but he stood in front of the
Starting point is 00:55:58 door and i was like um and then he like i went to like when he was like no and then he just kept going and i was staying there i was like at one point I was like flossing. I'm like, OK, like, are we done yet? And he just just in the ground. I was like, can I have some Jaeger? And he's like, of course. That's like the laziest thing. Like, flip it open for them to see.
Starting point is 00:56:17 Go to your corner. I'm just going to prop it up so you can see from afar. I'm just like, can I go? Why am I here? OK, George, what do we have? Hi, my name is Miriam. I wanted to ask you guys, what's your favorite memory? Okay, bye.
Starting point is 00:56:35 Oh my gosh. Hi, Miriam. Annie and I are really bad at this. Because it's like, unless you're super, super specific, like broad questions like we short circuit. And we also have so many memories. Like we're just spitting memories. Because if it was Esther, I'm going to go ahead and say it's movies with popcorn. Or like working at Johnny Rock.
Starting point is 00:56:57 Or high school. High school. Driving by her boyfriend's house. Yes. I think I do have an overall favorite time in my life. And. Was that when you were popping that puss? I was in computer class
Starting point is 00:57:11 learning. My most favorite recent memory is what I can give you and that is being in the Philippines with my entire family in 2019
Starting point is 00:57:22 with George included. That just those two weeks of just being in my homeland with everyone I love, feeling good, loving myself, loving Bobby. That's a good feeling, I think. Yeah, it's gotta be like hanging out with my nieces and nephews.
Starting point is 00:57:42 For sure, when I surprised my nieces and then my niece went, are you a hologram? Are really here and I'm like it's me that must feel so good it's I just love them whenever I do I so I do this meditation or this um visualization that I talked about when I'm getting coins thrown at me but um like there's a whole process of like getting down into the that feeling of walking into this room and creating this thing and i can skip that if i just imagine my niece is hugging me i just like imagine i'm hugging me and i'm already like have that warmth i just love them but my dad and i i think when we my favorite time maybe when we were at the um post office once and i was like kind of joke
Starting point is 00:58:24 antagonizing my dad just we were I was writing a letter to my friend and and he was just like hurry up Annie and I was like I'll be done when I'm done you know we were just like joke fucking with each other and then this old lady was next to me and then she went to leave and before she left she like was holding the door and she like stopped and pivoted and she went you know what young lady you're a real itch and i started laughing so hard and my dad like saw me laughing but he hadn't heard what she said so we were walking outside it was raining and my dad's like what did she say i'm like she said that i was an itch and he goes oh i wish i had heard her i would have said she's more of an aunt and we were just laughing we were like on the ground in the rain crying laughing and then immediately like we're laughing sorry we call my mom and tell her the story and she's like
Starting point is 00:59:08 i don't get it and we're like you bitch i think that is my number one um my one of my other favorite pre-pandemic um stories was going to a bleachers concert at the fonda theater with my sister and i love shows that are small like Coachella's Fond these big shows are fun but small shows are the best right but it wasn't the show was amazing love the bleachers they were we were just myself my sister now you know when you're just feeling that song that bleachers are the ones that sang what's their song uh don't take the money um I want to I want to get better um a lot i agree with one of those i want to get better but i'm taking the money um and so um so you know when you're just feeling in that
Starting point is 00:59:55 moment and you're in the song and you're like fuck finally your favorite song is being played at the end of the show the lead singer jack antonoff he in the moment in this like passion he he throws his water bottle into the audience because he thinks it's um open the cap is open can i guess yeah did you um do a bridge and then open your vagina and then it flew right into it and you caught it i i wish close so close but what ended up happening is the water didn't actually empty out completely and it wasn't his fault because i think he does this in like every show but it basically boomeranged into the person next to me and hit her square in the fucking nose in the middle of my sister and i just really just fuck and all we heard was pop and then her we could see her head do this and then she turns to
Starting point is 01:00:51 us and she's crying and she's just her whole thing is bleeding she goes oh and my sister and i like rush her to the bathroom but she's being such a cunt to us get off of me get off of me i was like my sister's a nurse my sister's trying to tell her to like what to do let's put pressure on the wound but that's one of my favorite memories not because she got hurt but because it was such god's way of saying i'm glad you're enjoying this moment yeah but you know not so fast yeah but also you do kind of get to continue to enjoy it. No, and then when she was being a cunt in the bathroom, my sister and I looked at each other. We were like, let's, the song's not over.
Starting point is 01:01:32 We still have a minute 20 left and we just had the best minute 20 of our lives. And we were laughing. Eventually, you know, but that's one of those things where you're like unfortunate, but also hilarious. I did. We did mushrooms. We didn't realize we were going to get that fucked up once and when i lived in santa fe we someone gave me just like a pill bottle filled with like crushed mushrooms so i put it on like
Starting point is 01:01:52 a pizza with me and my friends at this bar we're eating it and uh and then my friend came with her mom and we just all of a sudden were tripping so hard when she got there with her mom and my friend i remember looking at her mom was like older and like kind of wrinkly and her she goes why is your face made of ropes and i'm like oh my god and i like look over at my friend and he's like he's just sitting there crazy and i was trying to tell some story i'm always like trying to be the one that like deals with the cops or the parents at a party i'm always like i'm fine i got this and i was telling this story and then about cnn or something and i go yeah i saw it on CNN and the minute I did the extra ends I was like take your mom out of here D like get out of here and then we drove my friends Chrysler LeBaron
Starting point is 01:02:33 convertible like Into the desert to my friend's house and like the stars I just remember being like this is the best night of my life and then a pink Floyd block came on the radio and it was like Classic that is a classic moment. all the moon hither it came to me we said we didn't have memories but i feel like we overdid the homework it was too many memories we'll be editing one or two out probably the ones i've repeated already speaking of memory uh it's fading but it's been a pleasure thank you for putting up with all of our technical difficulties. We should have named the show Technical Difficulties.
Starting point is 01:03:09 With George Gamal. Technical Difficulties. Oh, boy. We fucked up. But we've been Trash Tuesday. Thank you for being our lovable slugs. And we will see you next week. Hop into the dumpster, babies.

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