Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Esther's Special Toy

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

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Hello, my little trash bags. I am on the road. I've been having the best time. You can come see me at the end of July in Buffalo, New York. In August, I will be in Tempe, Arizona. I will be at Caroline's in New York. I will be in Bakersfield, California, and I will be in Hartford, Connecticut. So please come see me. I've got a lot more dates on Annie Letterman.com. Hi, slugs. It's your girl. I'm coming on the road. I'm coming to Florida, October 12. I'll be in Tampa at the improv comedy theater, October 13th, Orlando improv and October 14th, Dania point improv right outside Fort Lauderdale and go to sleepover by esther.com to see the super cute twilight zone merch that just launched. I'll see you guys soon.

Did you guys have a my, I know you didn't. Did you have a my size Barbie? Oh, I thought you were going to say my space. I was like, yes, I peaked. Do you think I didn't have the best my space in this fucking planet? I really wanted to have a my space. That was like the thing I wanted my whole childhood that I never got. And I never thought that was an option. Wouldn't a regular Barbie just have been your my size? never got. And I feel like there's... I never thought that was an option. Wouldn't a regular Barbie just have been your my size Barbie? I don't know what I secretly wanted to do with it, but I like wanted it so bad. And it's like no one got it for me. It would have gone inside you so fast and your whole family knew that. Can you explain? They were like, we can't have another sticky item in the house.

The remote, the buttons on the remote never work. I was not like that, but it is fun to picture. What was your follow-up question about the mice? My follow-up question about your life-size Barbie is, number one, I didn't know they existed, but how big were they? Not that big. Like, not that big. Like, you're big. Smaller than me. Probably, honestly, the size of that dog.

Maybe a little smaller. Which is a little annoying. If you're going to say my size, can it just be my fucking size? Well, it's your size if you're a child still yeah but probably not wait when did you want this doll i don't know let's move on it's just there's a hole in my heart i never got it and it's like the one that got away write that down her birthday well american dolls was that what you did american girl i was an american girl doll hand model. But American Girl dolls used to be like to teach girls about historical times and stuff. Oh, yeah.

Addie was like the black American Girl doll. And she, I guess the author must have been from Philadelphia or something. But so at my Quaker school, we went into the Quaker meeting house, which is just like an old wooden room where you all sit in benches facing each other and she stood in front of the fireplace the author and she was giving this speech about um you know writing the book and they opened up for questions and obviously my hand shot up time to talk in front of the whole school but previously that week, I had gotten for Christmas a hat, a Phoenix Suns hat for my cousin. And so I, you know, and I, gender was interesting for me. My mom was like, don't, dolls are gross. But so I had a, wore the hat with my hair, like I would wear it in a ponytail.

Like my stepdad. Yeah, exactly. Like Roger. Like Roger style, yes. A Roger, I wore my hat Roger style. And so I raised my hand in front of the whole school, so excited to ask my cool question. And she goes, yes, young man. How did that make you feel?

I was embarrassed, but I asked the joke. And then, or the question, sorry. Maybe it was a joke. Asked the question. And then the way I handled it is I went out afterwards when she was kind of like doing a meet and greet. And I whipped my hat off and like panty and provied my hair in front of her. You had like a movie moment of like, look who you called a boy. Like, look at me now.

And I probably still looked like a boy just with long hair and a hat head. For American Girl, do you know that Bobby takes all of his family portraits at American Girl? He's done it for years. So if you look upstairs, it's just his mom, his dad, his brother with American Girl dolls at American Girl

like photographed this way. It's so creepy. I don't understand it, but I understand it. But also- It's iconic. I'll have to send you those pictures. family of a comedian is such torture like I put my parents and I have done like um different pictures where we're like we're like um like hillbillies were um we did one where we're goth like my hope we always do like a family portrait that's ridiculous like when you're a family yeah

you have to do something stupid all the time i really wish that i could do a weird family portrait with someone but no one has ever done that with me you have to do them while they're sleeping just you dress crazy it's weird enough so have you ever guys have you guys ever seen barbies that belong to a traumatized child what aka me what like the cut hair and the it's more than the cut hair the for the period lisa got her period then i would erase it with acetone it there are many many weird things and i wish i could erase my period with acetone if it was just that easy hey what what did you do to your barbies um my barbies were um they had like a ball and chain attached their ankle and i would sink them i and like on a pale um they would have would you save

them tattoos on them i remember anna anastasia was the the long-haired barbie down to the first day i got her i was like no bitch you're not Pentecostal. You're getting tattoos today. How did you get a ball and chain for a Barbie size? No, I mean, you would make like a string. We would thread around and tie it to a rock. And you'd be like, bye, Lisa. But would you save her? No, Lisa would die multiple times. Lisa was.

Oh, like you were playing, almost like playing house. But playing death. Playing, yeah, she was playing coffin like hey lisa you're gonna die today like that kind of thing yeah so it was like lisa got her period because it was perpetuated in my mind that when you got your period you you've peaked you're useless like athletically is what we were told by adults at that time so when lisa got her period it was time for her to die they weren't wrong i mean they weren't off so i got my period the first day i cried for three months why i thought that i was never gonna get faster

i thought i was gonna stop growing that my mustache had finally set in and it was all of these things that were around at my peak athleticism and when that was gonna happen there was so much talk around that at that time. Now, were your parents like, you have to win? My dad wasn't like that. My mom was. Yeah. Because it paid for our bills. Oh, okay.

It did? Yeah. So the government paid my sister and I. So I was swimming twice a day since I was eight years old. That is crazy. It's also so weird because my experience with like before you get your period was like, oh my God, i want it i want to be a cool adult i want to feel like really how old were you i think i got it in sixth grade so

whatever age that is and you were proud like you showed it off to your friends one of my friends my one of my best friends got it before me but then i was the second one and then like you know so we were on the early side but i just was like like, oh, I'll feel, I don't know, like a pretty lady. A cool girl. Yeah. How weird that, what was your thing for it? I mean, I was just in my umbros. It was music class.

But did you want it or not want it? No, I'm telling you, when I would play with Barbies, my mom would come in and go, I don't get it. So I would have to make them fuck each other and fight and like do really masculine things. And so there was no like femininity or like. She replaced them with G.I. Joes every night. Womanhood, it was bad. Was bad.

Yeah, that's. Did you not want your period? I didn't even understand what that it was going to have. I didn't. Like when they, when health class talked about it, like I got it when I was, you know, in fifth grade, fourth grade, something like that. So it's like when they started talking about it, like I got it when I was, you know, in fifth grade, fourth grade, something like that. So it's like when they started talking about it,

it was like right before. And then, yeah, it was, I didn't understand it or anything. I definitely thought like I was sick when I saw blood in my underwear. I was like,

oh no, am I okay? Like I had to go home to ask my mom if I was okay. You didn't know what it was? Not really. Because we didn't talk, I was like, like I would be like,

you didn't want to like take in, learn it, learn about it. But I had a friend who was. Not really. Because we didn't talk. I would be like, you didn't want to like take in. I didn't want to learn about it. But I had a friend who was obsessed with it. She loved she was always like, let's go ask the teacher. She'll tell us more about periods. That would have been me. Was there anything ritualistic that was done when you got it when you told your mother? No, it was just like, I actually got it. I remember I was on on a date like a sixth grade date and then i got home from the mall and i like went to the bathroom and then there was blood there my mom was just like oh open a door here's a pad i was like yeah my mom was kind of like that too it wasn't like bad like she gave me a knot like i wasn't ever like i mean you weren't in trouble i do still bleed everywhere

on things so maybe you didn't have flowers thrown at your face you didn't have to take three hops rub the period on your no that sounds cool though there's the filipinos they take it to the next level rub it on you're not a woman until you've done these things you have to take like it's almost like you're hopping past like the threshold so you have to hopping past the threshold of when you were going to win the olympics bye i have to, I'll never forget being in health class in elementary school and the teacher tells you and I went like, okay, and then blood comes out. And I just remember sitting there like, like trying to like look around like, yeah, right. Like, what?

No. Like, I think I even said something like, you're joking, right? Like, it was so crazy to me. Yeah. No, I mean, I guess that's the same way, but I don't think I said it to people. But I obviously, when it happened, was like... It sounds like you were just like, ignore, ignore. Yeah, I was just like, I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy.

Wait, George, can you pull up the Filipino period ritual? Because I want the girls to do it. That is so funny. You want us to do it? Yeah, I want to... You know what? The way you treated period is how I'm treating the Filipino period ritual. I i'm like ignore ignore just pretend she's not saying it it's sweet and then if you're a boy with a lot of acne you get um the myth is that you get someone's period panties

and then you rub it in your face to clear the acne you're lying i swear to god look i don't think that's real i swear God. I think a boy told you that one. I think a little nerdy boy wanted some undies. When Bobby still has a pimple, I'm like, wait one second. And I'm telling you, it's a vampire facial. When a Filipino girl gets her first period, her mother washes her bloodied panties with plain water. Okay, that's fine.

Then she would, no, smear it on her daughter's face in an age-long belief that doing so would prevent the latter from getting pimples. That's very superficial. The daughter is also supposed to jump three steps from the stairs as it signifies the number of days she will be on her period. Thank you. Can I just tell you how sad that is that we didn't believe you? I believed you. I didn't. I genuinely was like, that's made up. She's imagining. They're missing the flowers, though. You can't lie anymore. There's Google. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Someone tweeted, they're like, Kalani's just making shit up about the Philippines all the time. I'm like, I wish I was. I know. That's the thing I had to work on not

being triggered by when people say I'm a liar. I'm like, how am I lying? I'm telling you everything. to work on not being triggered by when people like say I'm a liar and I'm like how am I lying I'm telling you everything so you guys I want to talk about my plan moving forward aesthetically is that I think I've officially hit a wall with eyelashes and I have I'm going to forego them from here on out you mean fake eyelashes she's blocking each eyelash out. She's done. I realized that while it does, I feel prettier, the anxiety hours before leading up to having to put those lashes on. It can go either way with eyelashes. It can be a very simple application or the glue can end up shutting your eye. It's like you can look like you're winking and flirting. It's so annoying. But I've been talking about this. I've literally been trying to use it as an example of being like Zen in situations because it can ruin my day.

Depending on the application, it can ruin my fucking day. So but I also learned something. If you just get one of those eyelash things that look like they wouldn't work that clipper thing do you have one of those i do oh i think it's so much easier it just like clips onto it and you push it on it's like a plastic we're not adding the sweaty dripping hands well you also have to wait for the yeah you have to make sure it's the right tackiness i always have like when i wash my makeup there's going going to be a black glob here because there's so much eye glue up here. So you put your own lashes on? Yes, princess, I do.

Well, now I'm realizing what you guys are going through. Oh, I have just bypassed this. Unless I get my makeup done, I never put lashes on. Did you get your makeup done today? Yeah, she put lashes on today. Do you ever get the extensions? Oh, I did the extensions once. I'll never do it again.

I don't like them. I think that... I loved how the extensions looked, but I was left with no eyelashes after. But I don't like that part, but also I don't like that you don't have the option to not have eyelashes a day. Why? Who wouldn't? Because sometimes you don't want to fucking be that glammed.

Really? I loved waking up just feeling like a pretty little angel. My favorite feeling. Well, you can do that with glued on eyelashes too. Trust me. I wash my face very little. After I did that, I hosted this thing called the Polestar Awards. And I got our friend to do my makeup.

And I just got like – I paid like the top dollar for makeup and hair and makeup and I like slept in it for days. I mean, it was like crazy. Like you're never supposed to sleep in hair extensions. And I was like, but I cannot, I cannot not look like this tomorrow. Like I can't, I probably have bald spots in my head. I can't handle. It was so, it was just so good. Like the difference between buying like a hundred dollars and I think they ended up being like $500 is like it's just light years. I mean I can't believe it. If there was one thing that you could have every single day of your life, like one service that could be done for you every day of your life, what would it be? Oral.

No, I'm just kidding. Beautiful eye makeup, lashes, just really nice, pretty eye makeup. My lashes would be up there. You know, I'm going to not to throw you guys into the shallow bus. I think I would get like a TMJ massage every day. Oh. I would go physical because I can figure out. Yes.

I can get my eyelashes on. And if I can just be chill about it, it's not even a problem. That's exactly what I want. I think if I get my eye makeup done, that will retroactively fix my TMJ because I'll be so calm from being so pretty. That is a good point. I think the team is excited about my plan. Well, no, I understand the mechanism of action there. I do understand how if you have something that you're not going to stress about, you're not clenching as much and therefore you won't have as much TMJ pain. But Annie, the face massage, if I could get that after watching the Lady Gaga documentary. I need someone in there doing it every day.

But maybe I won't need it for that long. I've been really working on – because this is all fight or flight, stress. And I'm just like – just i took my my feels today i'm just doing everything i can to be fucking you're levitating i'm trying to because i can't level because so i went to this hypnotist and i haven't like gone to the session yet but i went to a the consultation and she was saying i was telling her like all my childhood traumas and stuff which i i'm like i'm over them because superficially I have like I've forgiven I've done all those things but I'm telling her and she's like oh yeah she's like you're in fight or flight the sweaty armpits

the jaw and then I was talking to my mom and she said that she read an article because I was a breech birth and I was in an incubator and I think also on top of that being a twin and then being separated from my twin for the first week having only existed like cuddling with him I she's like I read something about fight or flight and I was like Annie's had that since she was born yeah because I forgot to tell me but my parents always are like oh yeah we came up with that I'm like oh there's a there's a book called the body keeps count yes what's the score the body keeps score but it's basically the idea that you can't intellectualize yourself out of trauma that you like i've been in talk therapy for decades right but that shit is in my body so unless i'm

doing body work i'm not going to be releasing i don't know why when you say talk therapy it always sounds i always imagine walkie-talkie therapy. Or like maybe you're through the can. Kalilah. It was just calling in. Don't – you can't say Roger. It reminds me of my stepdad. But that's a really good book. And I think that people should realize that it's not that we – like no one wants to

keep talking about their trauma or reliving it. Some people do. Some people do. A lot of people do do he's like watch what you say honestly i've heard it a lot it's like sometimes like so many moments where i'm like i don't really want to walk back that like old road again i want those things to blur i want to just be big blur of memory but that is in my body and that's why i sweat a lot that's why i'm forever clenching right yeah too much and it's interesting to have like to understand like oh that could be like what it is and so now I'm just like trying to work on not being like a slave to that because I don't want that anymore but also I realized something recently where it's like I keep trying to figure

out why and I think in talk therapy it's like that like whenever I go to therapy or whenever there's certain podcasts I listen to and stuff it's all about like figuring out why you are away or why all this stuff and it's like every time I go back and think why I'm literally reliving a trauma yeah because that's so now I'm like I want to just move fucking forward my therapist said something really groundbreaking for me she's like if you see a baby on the floor crying what do you do i pick it up she's like do you ask why the baby's crying i'm like no i don't i ask that later she's like you should do that to yourself she's like you should learn to self-soothe without asking why why why why why my feeling is why my feelings i'm trying to like make sense of the feeling but rather just learn like um tools

to self-soothe and i have like multiple now I have the tools in my arsenal. But when I was younger, I didn't know how to do that. I didn't know how to pick myself up off the floor when I was crying. What would you say are some of those tools? For me, it's like, like Annie said, like, I'm in, I'm always in a fight or flight. I always think there is a perceived threat somewhere around. Not that I think it, my body thinks it, right? So like, for instance, if I'm having a panic attack at the airport i stand up i look to my left i look to my right it's your body's way of saying you know you know your full surrounding you have a full 180 view of it everything's fine i do noodling i do wait noodling is what

oh like you touch someone no when you imagine from the top of your head to the down that you're just a floppy noodle that's so funny because it really is is when their dicks don't work and they try to shove it in. Yeah, we don't. It really is. Every time you say that, I'm like – And also, is it noodling like a guitar thing too? I'm noodling right now. I feel good.

You are born noodle. You're an al dente noodle. A little hard but still floppy Esther, what is Feels? Feels is a better way to feel better Their premium CBD will help you keep your head clear And help you feel your best Feels naturally helps reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness

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and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping. That's F-E-A-L-S.com slash Tuesday. To become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping, feels.com slash Tuesday. But this is interesting. I do – I feel like it's such a relatable topic. Like for me, I had years of jaw and especially neck pain. But I solved my neck pain like by seeing so many different physical therapists and then finally realizing I just needed a trainer who could like help me strengthen the the really really weak parts of my body like so my neck was doing everything and I would you know you did kind of wrap around like it was well my stomach and my back basically had no literally like scientifically no muscles yeah I was front of there I remember but now I I wonder

if where do you think there's trauma? Like is there trauma related in that or is it just I was weak? Well, if you're clenching, you probably were clenching certain areas. If your stomach was weak, which is like your core, which is supposed to be kind of controlling everything, and you're weak there and maybe you're tense in other places. Like I remember just always being tense. So I'm just working on like relaxing it and I'm like, oh, I can just with my brain fix this. Like I know. But a massage every day would fucking help. so I'm just working on like relaxing it and I'm like oh I can just with my brain fix this like I know but a massage every day would fucking help also I've been working on just like not being afraid of things like not fearful like why what would I be fearful of I've my entire life has

just been evidence that there's nothing to be afraid of that's a good way that's a good reminder what Bobby does when I'm asleep and it's the most evident when I'm asleep that i'm actually a very traumatized person because i do this and i'm in a ball like this like a chicken and so what he does is he pries my fingers open slowly and puts them in his asshole right shows it up his asshole and warms it up up there and then he he does things where if he knows i'm feeling too tight and I have these massive 11s here because he says that I sleep just like this. Wow. And then I hold my breath a lot in my sleep. I don't have like obstructive sleep apnea, but I hold my breath so much. And anyone who sleeps next to me like has to pat if they don't hear me like breathing. Are you serious? I'm in a fright.

So I'm always in the fright. And then they're in a fright next to you because i don't stay up patting your ass do you want to try dave's sleep apnea machine oh his c-pap yeah on air but that forces air like because he has an obstructive yeah i tell you though like i've been feeling like i'm not sleeping fully so i'm like if i i will do everything in my power i will literally get a voodoo priest to like curse me to not have them have a fucking CPAP it's not my dad has one it's like I am just never I'm just like dear lord let me know that my energy and my brain can rise to a level where I do not need but wait I want I'm curious about this why don't you want it I don't want another fucking thing I got to do at night.

I don't want to like, it's just like too much. It's so, it's just, I've got to clean it. You got to get distilled water. Oh, you think Dave cleans it? Are you insane? You probably clean it for him, right? Donut licks it in the morning. Is that good?

Can I just tell you that that's very disgusting because it's literally going into, he needs to, he needs to clean it. Yeah. We're going to have to literally edit it out because he needs to clean it this is a sidebar this is a real issue he's got to wait what are you getting hypnotized for a sexual trauma but i think it's going to be like go deeper than that and back to like my birth trauma we talked about it too because um and i guess you know our, we're all open people. But I think because of all my sexual trauma when I was younger, I have a ridiculously low libido.

That didn't come about until the last like three years where I'm like, I can't, I don't think of anyone sexually. Yeah, because you have a block. Not even myself. Not even me? But that's also your. Only you. Definitely not you. That's the litmus test. If I can get horny around you, I'm good. I'm over my trauma. You pass. No, I... But that's also your root chakra. So that's

your creativity. Will you free my root chakra? Esther, get in there. It's your moment. Just punch it. It's your moment. But it is. It's like, it's your creativity. It's like, it's so much. So it's really like... I mean, I have the same thing. I have like, when I think about, because she was asking me, she was like, well, when you think about sex, what do you think? And I'm like, bad. No. Really?

Obligation. Obligation. Feeling of regret. Todd's not like that at all. It's like very like, he's so chill and sweet and not like pushy. But I've had boyfriends before where it's like, they've like screamed me awake that I haven't fucked them and I'm like I fucked you three times yesterday what are you talking about they rip pillowcases if you say no yeah exactly like screaming just like obviously their own weird trauma and being thrown at me but so I'm just working on like not taking

that stuff on that's not my problem and dealing with why I was at the level I was at that I would be with a partner that did stuff like that to me instead of looking at it like being a victim of him or anything because I'm no more a victim in my life. Like, fuck that. I have no more time for that. So I'm just trying to every time I feel that way, it's like what like everything's good. I think I talked about I don't know if I talked about on here, but when I had Duncan

Trussell on my podcast on Me Inspiration, he was talking about paranoia. And instead of paranoia, where you think the whole world is like out to get you pro noia is that the whole like the entire universe is like conspiring to help you so anything that happens is like a an aid or a guide for something so i'm just trying to like put my eyelashes on and be like speaking of oias oh yeah because pro noia paranoia there's this word that i really like that i feel like you'd really relate to she was bringing goya beans goya beans is canceled canceled goya beans right annie there's this word that i think you can really relate to esther and it's called animoya and animoya is like animaniacs it's a nostalgia for a time you've never known.

Oh my God, yes. Tell me more. So imagine stepping through the frame. Hold on one second. It's basically for the audience. There's this playlist on Facebook called Nemo's Dreamscape. And it's old songs playing with the backdrop of like the rain falling on like the tin roof. But it's songs that I've never never i obviously didn't grow up to but i feel like you relate to that because of twilight zone

yeah or there's eras that you really latch on to old bitch yes i have always been really drawn which i will i hate that saying like i was born in the wrong decade because I think that's like hacky. But I am so drawn to like 1950s sci-fi and like 50s and 60s music. And I just feel. What if the aliens have come to Earth and they're Esther? So scarily possible. Highly possible. But I want to know more about this Facebook playlist, which is a thing I've never heard of. I know.

I'm like Facebook. What's that? Fuck it. What did I say Facebook? It's this Facebook playlist, which is a thing I've never heard of. I know. I'm like, Facebook? What's that? Fuck it. What did I say Facebook? It's YouTube. Yeah, I know. That's really weird you're that deep. I couldn't get over that.

It's called Nemo's Dreamscape. You know, I know you guys both had a lot of trauma growing up. But is there any, like, things that you think about fondly that you just, like, are desperate to grab and get back? Or any times or eras or places there's another word for that it's a welsh word it's called um here i it's that exact feeling of feeling a sadness for a time you can never reclaim but you yeah of going like wanting to go back yeah but i'm telling you i literally went back and fucked every ex-boyfriend and it kind of got that out of my system

because I used to like put like ex-boyfriends on pedestals I would put places on but I still love Santa Fe like I love to go back there and Santa Fe was like a place I got the most drunk at

the most fucked up like getting date raped left and right but is there anything Annie like from sometimes there'll be a smell that like happens but I can think of it fondly

and remember it fondly but I don't need it because it's like about now you're more looking forward well i'm just looking like like to be my happiest most peaceful self now and if i'm like worried about a thing in the past there's it's like kind of impossible for me even though you can get joy out of it remembering it this is so. How did you know about this? I was put onto it by a friend who was like, I think you'd like this. And then I listened to this all day long. You do? This is going to change my life.

It's really cool. Why is this so good? Soothing, right? It's kind of like the music they play at Portillo's. What is that? It's a hot dog restaurant. they play at Portillo's. What is that? It's a hot dog restaurant. I don't know why I thought Portillo's was going to be like some sort of like yurt. A yurt?

Like at Portillo's, like it was a specific type of structure you went to. Bobby ordered a lot of frozen foods from Portillo's. He did? During the pandemic. We got into so many fights about that. He was on a Chicago bender. Because you wanted to be healthy during the pandemic? Well, I was cooking every day and he was like, I'll eat.

And I was really, really stretching myself. Like I was making all sorts of like Korean food. But wasn't your soup shitty? No, no, no, no. I was making like kimchi jjigae, chicken all of the hits and he was really loving it but late at night he has to have something really junky well that's a common thing though i just want to like for people who have eating issues when you're eating really really healthy during the day and you're you might not be getting enough calories and then you're like starving

at night and you just have to like grab whatever you can it's because you're not eating enough during the day that's for me what i've learned so also bobby whatever you can. It's because you're not eating enough during the day. That's for me what I've learned. So also, Bobby, if you're out there, I know you're not. Bobby's not here. I know. I also think though, even if it's not full blown eating disorder, something happens at night, where it's just you're in the dark, like nobody can see me like I used to when I would have crushes on boys I would always be like do not make any moves

at night like do not call them at night do not like we didn't have text or anything but like don't let them know

at night because in the morning you'll be in the light and you'll go I do not have a crush on that boy do you know what I mean like so in the morning

I can easily go like I did not want to eat the feelings are strong at night that fucking ramen. Yeah, because your body temperature drops. You're just like, ooh, it's time to be bad. Not drops.

It goes up, I mean. I liked something you said there, full-blown eating disorder. I think that should be the new name of this podcast because it's in this room very much. I don't think so for me, though. I think I've always just dabbled. Dabbled in the D. I just dabbled in the D. Speaking of dabbling in the D, I have a question. Have you guys ever gotten high or just done kind of weird things you shouldn't with cold medicine? I have a very horrible breakup story regarding around cold medicine what it's not

why you go first though well I just I had a like a common cold last week and I had previously heard I will be honest I previously heard that teen girls have been taking day quill to like feel good and then I got a little sick and for the first time I was like, oh, this is like- The sickest part of this is you chasing being a teenager. You suck. This is the sickest part of it all. I know. So then I got a little sick and I was like, oh, like maybe it's my turn. And so I tried taking Dayquil. I tried some NyQuil. And I did feel that like high of Dayquil of just feeling like energized and happy.

Someone's got to just put some fucking weed in their shits. No one hand you pseudoephedrine then. Why? I know. There's the one. I had friends like died and had to get like shocked back or shot back in the leg. Well, pseudoephedrine you have to buy behind the counter now because it was one of the ingredients used to make methamphetamines.

But it is a great decongestant. But it also brings you up. It's an upper. I wonder if that's in DayQuil. It's not. Can I just tell you that I just had this image of how you, because of all of your trauma has been surrounding weird household products, that it must be so horrific to watch the prices right for you. They're like, how much is salt? You're what about day click no um but um i had a boyfriend who traveled with me to the philippines and we were in this beach town and he mixed local and

i can't even vouch for the local tequila back home because it's made from like sugar cane not the usual stuff that they make tequila with in Mexico. But it was local Filipino tequila, and he mixed it with a cold med called decolgen. Is that scissor? He just might have scissor-ped himself. But I told that fool, find a bus stop. There are no bus stops in the Philippines, but find one.

Fucking find your way to the airport and get the fuck out of my life and go live at the bus stop because that is such a bus stop drink he lost his fucking mind he started being so aggro and then he would like put on a wetsuit and pretend that he was a spear fisherman and he could barely swim and he would come out and like rage out at me like i remember locking myself in the hotel room saying, okay, I want nothing to do with this person. Please go away. But cold medicine is scary. Use it if you need it, but I'm just saying. I tried to get high.

I didn't know it was meth, but when we were kids, everyone was getting fucked up on. Robo? Yeah. Robo tripping? Yeah, robo tripping. What's robo tripping? Yeah, tell us.

I don't know. I never pulled it off. Why? I didn't do it right i guess it seemed like it was easy you just drink robitussin oh no it wasn't that then it was like no it was some sort of like um like a pill that people had to get and it was like hard to get yeah it must have been the meth one but my friend almost died from it what do you mean she was like in an ambulance and her flatlined and they had to bring her back to life. From taking cold medicine?

From some sort of, yeah, getting fucked up on cold medicine. It had to have been so bad for her. I mean, I also was in a car

with one of my friends in high school who was like trying to shoot Aaron while driving and she missed the vein of squirting blood everywhere. So my high school

was a little bit, by the way, I wasn't that bad. I like smoked a cigarette once and then got sent to that school. Wait, I'm so disappointed right now.

Neither of you guys have ever like taken some cold medicine to feel good. Yeah, but I'm on other real drugs that I don't notice. I'm also fucking eating edibles or whatever. So I'm just like way below. You just are like one of these people that literally has to get high on life. Like you are just like. Why do you think I'm friends with you guys?

You do get high off pizza. You know what you should fucking do? Yeah, she gets high off Domino's as her drug of choice. We saw it. You should do breath work. You'll get fucking high as shit. Really? Yes.

No way. Yes, but you can hallucinate from breath work. What? Yeah. Do you, what about NyQuil? You guys ever fuck with NyQuil? Oh, yeah. You try to stay up.

Have you guys taken Ambien? My friend calls it Ambuary when you take Ambien. I love how I go from NyQuil and you just push me under the rug and go straight to Ambien. My first anal experience was very positive and I don't recommend this, but I... Your what experience? My first anal experience was with an Ambien and it felt like a Pink Floyd song. I'm imagining a giant pill butt fucking you. It was Jason, but

the pill's name was Jason. But it was like a fever dream because if you stay up past, if you fight the sleep of Ambien, it makes you feel a little strange. And in fact, I used to eat in the middle,

like I used to sleep eat because of Ambien. And if you're Roseanne, a little racist. Don't go tweeting. I believe her. I believe that she really was on Ambien. do you want to know why I don't like Ambien though I don't think it's helping me sleep I think it helps like knock my body out but I'm still tired I don't like I don't want anything that's not I want full oh you're not getting like true sleep on it I've heard that's a

real thing we never took Ambien to actually sleep right we were just messing with it as kids i mean we have our future of ambient is still open you and ambient we're going to be going somewhere together doing some sort of drug esther would you partake in our ambient party it's just ambient do not take ambient guys tell me tell me that was the scariest thing i've ever heard oh yeah i'll come to the party but will you i won it. No, she'll be fingering us when we pass out. Wait, what happens? Set the scene. You sleep. I asked her if she's going to sleep for three days. She's going to sleep. She's not even going to fight it with us. Sleep for three days.

Oh, the point is to take it and fight it, stay awake, and then what happens? You're just a little loony. Yeah, a little funny is it fun like you feel silly being high is fun did you not know that you're literally drinking cough syrup bitch you're getting high on deco is the funniest fucking shit i've ever heard i can't believe i literally like this is my big moment i was like we're gonna have a big talk about this you guys are druggy you guys just go right past it like to all the real drugs i totally well it's this is the craziest thing guys i'm a drug addict like she's the only one going to fucking rehab for

day well how about this she probably takes the right dose too i do wait how about this esther bobby there's this um sleep aid again you guys don't do this at home there's a sleep aid called unisom that bobby oh yeah take for 10 years and he would just because i guess there's a small percentage of people this is his claim again not scientifically proven but this is the lee brothers claim that um it makes your nut a whole lot nuttier like the orgasm is very big and it's basically just benadryl. Does it feel better or there's more jizz? It's not that it just feels better.

It's more euphoric. But it's only a very small percentage of people. Because Todd's on like hair stuff and it makes his and one of the side effects is that his jizz

is like thinner. Oh. Thinner. Like waterier? Yeah, which is like, okay. No problems here. Water painting

with this bitch. It's fun. A little watercolor of the ocean. Ladies and gents and everyone else, there's a new brand of water in town. And we're here to tell you about it because we're in love with it. It's Liquid Death. Esther's been chasing this. This is a dream come true.

This sponsorship is. Esther's been paying absolute full price. Putting this in front of her camera every time she does anything. I begged them to notice me. She manifested this. They come in – it comes in a tall boy. I learned that. I didn't know what that was, but this is a tall boy can. The beer drinkers know.

You know, it's good. If you don't – I don't drink. Esther doesn't drink. Kalilah, you don't drink either, really. Rarely. This is unbelievable. This isn't beer, it's good. If you don't, I don't drink. Esther doesn't drink. Kalilah, you don't drink either, really. Rarely. This is unbelievable. This isn't beer, by the way. This is actual mountain spring water from the Alps.

But you get to be cool. Look at Esther. Look how cool she looks now. Hold it up, Esther. Ooh, me? Oh, no photos. Why is this water called liquid death, Esther? Because it's fucking hilarious.

Because it will brutally, the correct answer is annie esther that it will brutally murder your thirst and they're infinitely recyclable tall boy cans are helping to bring death to plastic and your pussy if you choose to recycle this in the way that i have but how did no one think of water in a can until now like that to me is the genius here is you get to like click open a can and it's just this delicious water. It tastes so much better for some reason. It makes me feel like I have a life. Okay, that's the truth.

But also, but also it's like, because you know that the carton waters, carton, nobody wants to like feel like they're drinking milk. The cartons suck. Like you want to be a bigger nerd drinking your water. It's like, this is like're – I'm fucking cool. This cancels out my inhaler. It like makes me just normal. Well, I love too like drinking it on a Zoom call at like 9 a.m.

and everyone is like, oh, Esther has a problem. I'm like, no, it's just water. I'm just like so cool. You're like I like things that say death. I'm so cool. Yeah, I'm just a bad girl. cool. You're like, I like things that say death. I'm so cool. Yeah, I'm just a bad girl. You guys can go to liquiddeath.com slash trash and get a free set of koozies with your first order of any case of water or just grab some at any Whole Foods, whatever, 7-Eleven. But seriously, their

merch is so cute. I love their aesthetic. So definitely check out those koozies at liquiddeath.com slash trash. Oh, she's so happy. Liquid Death gives her liquid courage. at liquiddeath.com slash trash. Liquid Death gives her liquid courage. You said Unisom and Benadryl are the same thing. So like if someone was dabbling in these drugs, like what would you say is the difference? Like if they just wanted a nice- She's going to come in like in all like roster wear.

If someone just wanted like a nice night's sleep, which one would you prefer? A nice night's sleep is a cute little term. A little nice night's sleep. Neither. I don't take any sleep. Neither. I pass out in front of... I think it's a myth. I think Bobby's bullshitting. I think it was his dry drunk behavior of wanting to reach for something to sort of have this experience. I don't believe in it. I've had a thought about these little addictions I have because I've been like smoking a cigarette here and there and like doing little bad things. But the rest of my life,

I'm like really doing fucking great work on myself and like getting to these elevated levels. And then I'm like, give me a cigarette. I'm like, what the fuck is that? I think I am a dom who's trying to, that is still clinging to having submissive moments. So then I'm a submissive to cigarettes there's something that's like you know what i mean instead of just being completely free and doing the fuck i want there i have these

little things that i'm trying to keep me like in the 3d world or something like keep me uh feeling like i'm underneath something or do you know what i mean i'm i sort of have that power over you yeah like i need something like that's like this little moment of wanting like just because it's easier if someone just fucking tells you what to do or like whatever right yes i i sort of have that but in a different way where it's like i refuse even caffeine bobby always says like i'm amish or like the most straight-edge person person i don't like the feeling of being out of myself at all and so but i think that in itself is still feeling submissive to all of that stuff whether it's caffeine oh interesting like the opposite effect of it like you feel like or wait it's it's because i still feel submissive

to all of these things that i take that I just refuse to take them at all. Wait, you're like more pure than me. I'm pure. I'm as clean as clean as clean. But she's had way dirtier anal than you. But way dirtier anal. And I might have dabbled in more stuff. Like I dabbled in like Ritalin and ADHD medicine when I was younger.

She's like, I wrote so many papers. They were like, you have a problem. Too many book reports. Stop it, Kalilah. If you have a headache, will you take headache medicine? I like to stay ahead of the pain because I do get really bad migraines,

but I'll take like the most minimum dose and it's always after a meal. I'm really, really careful. But I'm not one of those that like... I would take Western medicine if I had a true illness. Yeah. I take a butt suppository.

What's that? Misalamine because I have some form of colitis because I bleed out my butt. I love Kalilah and her colitis. I also like Western medicine. I'm imagining someone like on a horse coming and bringing you a suppository. Bend over, cowgirl. Like the movie Balto. Bend that ass over. Spread them cheeks. over, cowgirl. Like the movie Balto. Bend that ass over.

Spread them cheeks. Oh, my God. Esther, will you put one of my butt medicines up my butt? I'd love to. I would absolutely let you. I would totally do that. Can I be the toilet? It's one of the things you have to learn in nursing school.

How far up. Oh, my God. I have been thinking. No, bitch. You're going to real nursing school. I've been thinking about this since you brought it up. You have to go to nursing school. I have been thinking – no, bitch. You're going to real nursing school. I've been thinking about this since you brought it up. You have to go to nursing school. You have to go.

I won't sleep until you go to nursing school. I believe. I believe in myself and nursing school. I believe in you too. You didn't before. No, the practical stuff, I don't believe in. I don't care what happens. I just need you there.

I actually have faith in myself in this. I feel like once I decide – but I just need to find the time. But I wonder if I can coordinate nursing school with my Dolphins schedule. Well, when I heard you say that you never had a job, was it at the Hard Rock Cafe? Because you had, they wouldn't let me go to my shows. Yeah, I'll go ahead and say you absolutely do not have time for nursing school but you can take kalilah's nursing school and put tons of suppositories on my butt or you can do comedy the way i used to do it at work like you're putting a catheter in you're like hey you're looking a little blue today

you know what i'm blue viagra what do you do for work? I could do it though. So I would have to block out two years. Two years. I should have done it during COVID. You should have. No, that would have sucked. Oh, yeah. Yeah, right.

Oh, my God. You would have had a heart attack. They were pushing a lot of nursing students. She would have been defibrillating herself. I would have been hoarding the ventilators. That's so shitty. Imagine Esther actually taking defibrillator and shocking herself instead. Esther, to help help you i pushed old people out of wheelchairs to get that vaccine if that helps don't worry you didn't say anything bad selling better as long as you sold them out of

your garage afterwards it's fine um george is pointing at this gift that i think is for esther yes we have a gift for esther today from who why does his voice sound like that from who from this dirty old midwestern white guy what does it say what is the card huh it doesn't say anything nothing on the card i'm so scared it could be day cool it could be day cool oh my god you guys are sickening you did you all know about this nursing school starts today it's a kegel exerciser bladder control device for pelvic why i just because we want you to stop wearing so many fucking diapers okay wait it's bladder control you have to try to pull this part in the vagine this part pull in like up like like you're holding your pee in like squeeze your vagina

the inside but as you do that pull it it's gonna help you do it more i don't really feel scared i have to go to the bathroom she's gonna squirt oh we just found out she's a squirter go pee go pee no after you said that I did you cum no Kalilah wait I just sat on it Kalilah I like being cummed on not cumming myself

can I go pee I'm serious yes go pee go pee maybe please be excused give that thing to me there's a hidden camera

in the bathroom but it's still not you have to be able to do it on your own you keegle on a dick you keegle on a dick yeah you keegle on a dick someone

I said that on one of these episodes and someone wrote me like a long thing like thank you so much on a dick. I said that on one of these episodes. And someone wrote me a long thing like, thank you so much. You changed me and my boyfriend's life. Yeah, and it also makes you cum faster. So if you kegel, the faster you kegel on a dick, the faster you get there. That's why I'm a 20-second hoe.

They have ones where you can measure the strength. What? Get those ones. Get three of them. And then we'll make it a competition. My physicality and my swimming abilities may have peaked, but not my pussy abilities. They've been resting for three years. I ready for this that pussy never peaks a pussy never

peaks it pops and it never peaks just a whole bunch of dust just falls out now we and because we fucked so much in our life it's like to take back the night it did not take back the night it did not take back the night it did not take back the night and the more i work on myself the more i'm like i don't use sex to like make people like me do you know what it means and i'm like oh yeah should we take a banana break so instead of uh we're having a banana break but what special item do you have for us today, George? Instead of bananas? Today, I have found the haunted ghost pepper Pockys. Oh my God.

Real peppers, real heat. I've heard of ghost peppers. But what do we have after it? Liquid death water. No, motherfucker. You don't give us a, you got to have the milk. I'll tell you what we'll have after it. Bloody assholes. We'll have the out, the milk. I'll tell you what we'll have after it. Bloody assholes.

We'll have. Okay, I do. Quick, Esther, Esther, you gotta use the thing again so we can use your squirtle to. Oh my God. You have to admit that that thing made you have to pee, right? No, you know what it did? I already had to pee and it made it that I could no longer deny it. So what I said.

Okay, I am going to try these, but only because the packaging is cute. They actually are really good. Oh, she hasn't swallowed yet. And they look like Doritos. Oh my god. We have nothing to cure it. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

That is a producer's job to have some milk or yogurt. Oh my god. Oh my god banana banana Just enjoy it Annie. Oh, yeah, that's a good remedy. Oh my god. Give me the banana George So gross George is like the only cure is my ginger dick we I'm You want this banana? I'm so confused because it does taste good. And why is it taking him this long to make that? I do love chips, but it is so... I'm okay.

I'm okay. But I think, what I know of this is that it gets worse. It hit me instantly. The problem is I like chips. Me too. That's what I'm saying is I want to eat them. I think my hunger for chips is overriding the pain. It is going down my body.

George, do you have any mild chips over there? It's at my nipples now. Do you want to put the stuff up my butt now? Do I? With these spicy chip hands? Well, my butt needs it now after these chips. I'm four bites into my banana and I'm still on fire. Go ahead and say this combo.

Quite something. You're still going. Yeah. Because we're fatties. We love a good chip. I have to conquer my fears. Oh my God, I'm still on fire. It's pretty hot.

George, why don't you have a chip? I don't have a camera close-up on me. That's the problem. I didn't do my makeup today. It's all... The banana's not helping it. It's not. It's not?

It's cold for a second. It's like... It's like... It's not a carrot. One time, Bobby was having really bad diarrhea at 7-Eleven. I was like, eat a banana. Can I tell you I'm trying to, like, be just proud

that you're eating bananas now and not livid? Wait, what? You didn't want to eat them for so long and now? I... You had a come to Jesus banana moment? I don't really like bananas, but my parents convinced me that they're really good for you and you might as well just eat them.

But I definitely cannot eat a whole banana. You have consistency issues with them or the taste? No, it's just like, it's just not that good. So I'm like, it's not really worth my ingested calories. It's so well packaged. It's such a good snack. But do you like banana flavored like Laffy Taffy? No, no one does except for you.

Look at him, look at George, look at George. Look at George turn red. Oh no. Oh my God, his neck is red. Where's the milk, George? George, do you have any chips that are not spicy? I would probably pay a thousand dollars for one. I don't think so, but we'll see.

It's survivable. Like I could eat a whole bag if I had to, if there was money involved. Yeah. It just made me want chips. Uh-huh. Oh, I bet my lips are going to get puffy. Oh, what a gift.

Oh, I forgot about Cheetos. I haven't had them since I tried them on the show. George is crying like a fucking ginger. Oh. Like a blonde ginger. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I forgot.

Do you consider yourself a ginger? No. Blonde? No, I'm blonde. You're blonde. Okay. That's the ginger is ginger. No. Is that? No, I'm blonde. You're blonde. Okay. That's the gingerest ginger. No.

Is that the ginger's response? It's the white walker. It's the white walker of gingers. Are Asians allowed to say ginger? We used it in cooking, right? I like gingers. I've banged a bunch of gingers. I'm fans of gingers.

So that's why I think I can make fun. Sexually aggressive, the ones I've been with, in a good way. I am not a ginger for people who think she's hinting at me my yeah my mouth my lips my tongue there's tingles your pussy I went to Laguna Beach yesterday to because I heard it was a good energetic vortex. And also I have never been since I saw the show. How was it? It was nice. I went and ate dinner. I went to a crystal shop.

Here's what I've learned. Do not make small talk at a fucking crystal shop, okay? They're not gonna let you out fast. You will be hearing about their borderline personality disorder. And $300 worth of crystals you just bought. Did you buy crystals? I bought bracelets. Aren't they cute though?

They are cute. Were they really expensive? I spent like 60 bucks, but I don't know what they are, but I have like a thing that says what they do. What's like the gist? There's one that's like to continue your spiritual growth. there's one that's like to continue your spiritual growth

there's one that's like protection against other people's negative energy there's one this is like shamanic this is to build friendship i got this one my friend jamie went with me so we got matching friendship ones i like that blue one a lot and then this is pyrite which i know to be abundance but it didn't say that on the thing. It's something else. And then I can't remember what this one is, but. How was the food in Laguna Beach? It was good.

We went to this place called Mozambique, I think. It was really cool. I've been there. It was like really like cute, gaudy looking like. My, one of my friends wedding reception was at Mozambique. Oh, I loved it. I honestly loved it. There was a wedding there.

It was like, it's just like tacky enough. And they have, it feels like a pirate place. Like it feels like you're supposed to be dressed as a pirate. How does it compare to your view of Laguna Beach from the show? You know, I just didn't realize how rich those kids were. I guess I just was like, I knew they were rich, but now I'm like, oh, like what a weird, and I also think what a weird place to grow up in because I just knowing that I like to be in L.A.

I'm like, it's just a little far from L.A. But I guess kids don't care if they're living in L.A. Yeah. And for those who aren't from L.A., Laguna Beach is considered very much a far drive. Oh, really? How far? It's Orange County. It's two hours in traffic.

Oh. One hour in regular. But it was but it was really really nice it's a place i want to go to again there was a um this resort called something in sand i can't remember whatever they didn't give me money so i'm not saying their full name no but i went down they had this like beautiful like oceanfront restaurant it's like i'm i really want to enjoy my food by waves now i'm realizing yeah i'm like i want the i want the good seats see i feel so opposite i have the opposite tactics of that which is i don't care the area or like the atmosphere because a beautiful atmosphere with not amazing food will just make me angry but why would you assume the food wouldn't be

amazing well i'm just saying like i will you assume the food wouldn't be amazing? Well, I'm just saying like I will go for the food. You'll go to a shitty place with good food. Yeah. I go food-based, not atmosphere. Because sometimes people are like, the atmosphere is amazing. I'm like, but how's the food? As much as I know that could be cute, but you guys know me. I'm like a food girl.

Like it has to be that. I need both. I also have seen some food you eat. But I'm living in the world of both like where it enhances it but i you know i like obviously i like hole in the walls you know i like to go get like the best food or whatever but i'm starting to be like you know what i can go try out the rich people things i don't have to be resistant to rich people things i drive down with my best friend to tijuana and ensenada just for the day to get tacos and a torta from this one place called El Original.

And we drive right back. Is it so good? That's great. It's so good. What's so special about it? There's also this all like small birria place owned by an old lady, but we just have our spots. It's a what place?

Birria. It's like a stew. Oh. I thought you were talking about bidis. Do you remember smoking bidis? Do anyone know? What are bidis? Bidis were these little like rolled cigarette things we used to smoke.

What is so good about these tacos? I would just like to take you to the place, Esther, and maybe I was impressed upon at a very young age, but I don't know if I'm going back for nostalgia or if it's actually really good. So I'd like to take someone for the first time to Ensenada. I volunteer. and just eat and then we just drive back we why do we have a fly issue but wait where is it it's in ensanada oh yeah a little bit so it's like 40 minutes past tijuana let's go to mexico or how far is it is it safe it's like four hours from here it's totally safe esther it's not safe yeah and

tijuana also has some really great places to eat. Really? Uh-huh. I always go there. Do you need like a passport? No, it's just your California ID. I don't know if they require passports now. Oh, you don't need a passport?

You need it now? You don't need a passport. Back then, it was just your ID, right? Yeah, now you do. You do, yeah. Have you guys been to Baja Wine Country? That place is amazing. What's that?

It's just south of like Tijuana, like an hour or two. They have a really nice- Let's do a Mexico episode. So it's like Via de Guadalupe in that area road trip episode such good food yeah

I've been there let's do a Mexico episode but it has to be nice George you pay for it we're not giving you money wait thank you in advance make it cute

get us swimsuits thank you I didn't necessarily suffer as much as I thought I would now I am I feel like I'm getting my stomach's been rumbling yeah I feel like I'm getting reflux. My stomach's been

rumbling. Yeah, I feel like I have reflux now. Well, on the scale from not hot to kind of hot to hot to super hot, these are weighing in at freaking hot. Oh. On a scale of zero to a hundred Rory Scovels. Do you guys both consider

yourself people that like spicy foods? I do, yeah. Do you? I still order mild, but I enjoy it if it's the right moment. If it's given to me and someone's like, this is how you should eat it,

I will gladly do it. But I just really, do I need more problems with my asshole? Do I need an extra added asshole issue of the day? I'm with Annie on that. It's like,

I really enjoy it. It's just that I pay the price. But what do you enjoy about itie on that it's like i i really enjoy it it's just that i have i pay the price but what do you enjoy about it um i think it's an act an extra layer of flavor like it's not like you're you're getting off on the suffering no no i i think there's some people who cheat and they make things really spicy and the rest of the thing is not delicious you're like no there's just i just feel heat but no flavor but if you do it right it just adds that little extra element of hits you hits you also it does feel a little like medicinal if you're eating like a ramen that's really spicy or something and yeah you're it's all dripping out

of you feels very primal i had sinus surgery when i was 15 and that cleared my sinuses what kind of surgery so uh i think it's just called sinus surgery where they like 15 and that cleared my sinuses. What kind of surgery? I think it's just called sinus surgery where they like go in and they just drain all the gunkies. This is where we find out you have a nose job. No, it's a very popular procedure. My dad even had it like 10 years ago and I had it when I was in high school. I have a nasal, full nasal collapse. What? You really should have done more coke. I mean, it's like you have the body of a drug addict. I know. Everything is wrong with me. But see, when I breathe in, look

at this nostril. Yeah, it's shutting down. So when I do, when I go to yoga classes and they're like, just breathe in through your nose and out through your nose. I'm like, I can't. I'll die. There's no air coming in. It will stop my breath. Yeah, but it's really, I'm annoying at a hot yoga class. I'm like, I can't do it. I'll die. There's no air coming in. It will stop my breath. Yeah, but it's really, I'm annoying at a hot yoga class.

I'm like, like full on mouth breathing. Oh, I am a moaner in yoga class. A moaner. I don't give a fucking shit. You are hearing audibly me breathe. I want to hear it. Like it can go that loud. Even when you're not doing cleansing breaths?

No, it would be like in a moment that I'm being true to my own body. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's because I used to go to yoga to the people in New York, which was like a free – it was donation-based, but it was free. Those are the best ones. It was free. It was the best yoga I've ever done in my life. Same. All the donation-based places are.

And we would all shove in. Uh-huh. Like your mats would be like on top of each other doing it, okay? And they would just be, like, they encouraged loud breathing, and it was the fucking best. I mean, there were people that were annoying. Like, I definitely don't do it, like, the whole time. Like, there are people that want you to look at them while they're doing it. Yeah.

And it's like, I get enough attention the rest of my day. I swear I wish my friend Cara lived here. By far, of all the yoga places I've been to, no one is as good as her. I might move to Hawaii just so she can be my – I know, and then when you find – when I moved to LA, I was so devastated they didn't have that yoga. And then I thought I would pay. I would go to like Yoga Works or something, and it would be like not – I never liked Yoga Works.

I don't know. The community or the neighborhood yoga studios are the best. It's where it's at. Yeah, but I like – These high-end ones. The one that I go to now is a hot yoga place that's really good. I don't – I'm like always scared people are going to like show up and try to see my feet or something.

But I also like to post about it. Or try to hear your moan. I know. Maybe. No. But I really like – I'll never divulge locations. But I really like – I do want to promote. It's hard because I'm like I want

people to know how good it is but it is like it yeah I will just moan and I I've stopped giving a shit and I'm in breathwork classes which I'm going to take you to one at the end you do all this breathwork it's really only like maybe 12 minutes or 15 minutes of the breathwork but it's like a 25 minute class where they're like explaining it to you and everything can I tell you why I'm scared of breathwork is allergies like similar to kalilah like i can't always breathe through the nose right well you the one that i do is okay i can do there's other ones there's like breath of fire where you just you close your mouth and you just yeah you do alternative breathing again those don't work for me so i have to opt out out. The strictly nasal ones, I'm out for sure.

But they have other ones. They do the, like the tongue out one. But at the end, you scream. I'm going to have my friend Sophia. You do. It is. What is it, lion's breath? Well, do you ever do yoga where they go like where you're like in happy baby and they're like, now do lion's breath.

Open your mouth. So you're in happy baby, which is like this. And then you're like, ah. You're supposed to giggle it. Ha ha. psychotic oh but breathwork so at the end you're doing all this like deep work and it's what what i really like about it my old shami told me that that i was shaman's pet um that the reason breathwork works is because when you have all of these like deeply rooted subconscious upsetting things these traumas or whatever you really your brain can't get to them so with breathwork you're like moving all of this stuff you're kicking it up and then you're breathing it out and i really fucking

believe it because it's crazy i've had like ayahuasca level trips on just doing breathwork and um but anyway so at the end of the breathwork, you scream. And it is great. But it's like you have a choice in your scream. But I go as much as I can. Like sometimes I feel like I'm yelling more than I need to. But sometimes I feel like I'm yelling more than I naturally need to because I'm like the opportunity to yell very very rarely comes comes up in life I picture if your life was a sitcom like you you do the scream at the end of the class and then afterwards some comes up to you they're like I'm a producer will you be like a scream voice actor scream queen because like I I feel like like you get like this big break is like a screamer wait that's

because it's when you follow your heart when you really do what your true thing is there was a reality show based on that. I think it's called Scream Queen. Oh, I think there was, yeah. Where contestants would basically – Try to be a – Yeah, would try to be a horror movie star, but one of the things they would have to have to have was a good scream.

I don't know that my scream is good because I do have that damaged voice. They've had so many good – I don't remember what channel it was on, but Tough Enough was the WWE. That was a great one with – what's his name? The Miz. The Miz, yeah. Miz was on it. Which is also on the challenge.

By the way, I am talking to so many of – because I brought it up on Rogan that I like the challenge, all of my favorite contestants are like dming it's like i'm in a fucking dream that's what i do with the show alone yeah i'm friends with everyone it feels so good because it's that's i we talk bobby and i just can't shut up about it it's such a good show i'm a stalker of like broadway people i'm very stalkery. Do they reply? No. Do you know Eva, Eva Noblesada? No. Who's that? She was in Miss Saigon and she was in Hadestown. Is it Hadestown or Hadestown? I think it's Hadestown. Is it Hadestown? I think. I think it was called Rent.

But I'm not sure if she got nominated for a Tony, but she's Filipina. Oh, my gosh. I follow her. I'm obsessed with her. One of my favorites right now is Karen Olivo. She was in the original Broadway cast of In the Heights. And then she did Moulin Rouge. She's like, her voice is just so beautiful. Do you have a good singing voice? No.

Are you sure? Mostly. Have you gotten, like, trained? It's not. We'll hit the first part of, what is that? The witch one. Something has changed within me i mean i'm also sick so i'll just uh i bet you this bitch can sing thank you for believing in me but i think you're the green witch oh my god i would love to wait such as a witch the green

witch alpha ba yeah alpha ba alpha bottom that's like such a hard you're an alpha bottom oh my god how do you even do that this is called a power bottom you just thrust from underneath oh i love that i never really realized what a power bottom was i think i've always just thought that was what i just thought it was a bottom that demanded other bottoms get on top of them that's so funny i think that's great you thrust up i love that i'm averse if i'm my um my my gay sex position is i would be a power bottom yeah if i if i came back if i reincarnated as a gay man which please please please please i have so many like things i want to do. Most would be to pump up. Which would be pump up. Pump up.

The jam. It's like the part in the WAP video. Pump up is like you're backing into it. Are you on the ground? Is it like this? Oh, that's pumping up. What is it? Pumping up?

I think it's up.'re like what oh wait are you like yeah you got to go down and up are you on your toes i wow your butt really does jiggle so nicely they say it's all in the ankles i'm trying to work on myself to be like did I decide I'm a bad dancer in my head because I was afraid of outside approval because when I went to that club in Miami I was a good dancer everything it just takes practice and belief and confidence like you you can totally be a good dancer what I'm just wondering if I believe it because I'm also lightheaded you should try this you should try twerking it gets you lightheaded it's like it's a high yeah that will make me feel

uncomfortable i will not like that we just throw nyquil at her or dayquil well it has been another time together with the trashiest women i've ever seen. We will see everybody next week. What an accent. My British accent from last time. She got her tonsils out, guys. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye, guys.