Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Face Queens & Forever Teens

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsor: Vessi - Click the link https://www.vessi.com/trashtuesday and use our code TRASHTUESDAY for $25 off each pair of Vessi shoes! Free shipping to CA, US, AUS, NZ, JP, TW, KR, SGP   Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende

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What's up sluggies? I am so excited to be on the road and meeting all of you. The meet and greets are epic. I cannot believe it. Please come see me. I have new merch coming that is wild. Some sunnies, some socks. This weekend, I'm going to be in San Jose, California. We rocked it out in San Francisco, so I cannot wait to see you guys again there. I'm going to be in Donya Beach, Florida. I'll be in Omaha, Nebraska, St. Louis, Missouri, Houston, Texas, Burbank, California, West Nyack, New York, Austin, Texas, Springfield, Missouri, Homestead, PA, Tempe, Arizona, Colosa, California, Kansas City, Irvine. There's a billion other ones. Please go to Annie Letterman.com slash shows. You cannot miss it. Everything's crazy. It's a freaking party. Can't wait to see you there how is everybody today annie is this day one of your egg journey no it's tomorrow i had one last

coffee wait so what is tell us your one last of everything guys it's been like it's been like almost a month of one last. I have been, well, because I knew, okay, so I knew, Whitney told me that I was going to be like four months pregnant. What? Which, by the way, the doctor was like, he was like, she did get, she did get bloated. He like laughed. But it's, I don't think that that's necessarily the case.

We'll see. I'll be the guinea pig for us all. But, so. Everyone, if you don't already know annie's getting her eggs frozen this is a huge can you guys do a thing where it shoots eggs out and then kalilah catches them in her mouth catch it esther make it crack in her face i'll lick it up it's go-go she loves it um yellow go-go no what eggs probably have nutrients now i want your eggs you eating eggs no i'm like fully on board i'm gonna feed you

just want to be clear by the way this is not just eggs we are competing with our own sponsor um but okay so they put me on birth control and what i think they put me on birth control for was so that they could time around my tour schedule when they started i don't know if they would just go with a natural cycle usually so i did like two weeks of birth control and they gave me like a they checked my uterus and my ovaries first time I went in. Then I did birth control. I went in. What?

You have a uterus? Can you believe it? It's just so weird. It's a meterus. I am very, very narcissistic. Sorry, guys. It was fun having Bert on and just trying to – I don't think I told you ahead of time

but I was going to see if I could interrupt Bert more than he interrupts and talk over him more and I was unable to I was unable to do it anyway Kalia looks 10 by the way

10 or 10? not little the way she's sitting and the teeth you look so young and your skin is very glowy it's very glowy it's very there's a

youth glow. Really? Yeah, it's cute. Well, I went back to SoulCycle today. It's my first workout since COVID. And let me tell you, my performance was not great. That's okay. Shout out to Diego. If you ever want to take a Diego class, I'll do it with you. Do you feel

like you ever come out of there feeling like you did your best? Yes, I am. When it comes to working out, I am a charger. 100%. I never phone it in. I am somebody that if I'm going to commit my time to a workout, I'm going to go all out. And this is why Kyle and I get along. And this was so funny about this is that Esther literally asked her, her workout instructor to do a time slot she's never done in her life like how much was it half hour every person does

like an hour and Esther's like can we bring it down to 20 minutes my trainer invented the 30 minute session for me speaking of Kyle Sosi texted me two weeks ago and she did her very first berries. Okay.

And she walked out of there and she was crying in her car. And I was like, what's the matter? Who was the instructor? And it was Kyle. Kyle, you're abusive in all the right ways. I love you.

You're abusive in ways I love. He's also so gorgeous. His gap ads with his, I don't know if he's married. Is that his husband? He's married. Yeah, he's married. And the music he plays is so good. It's so good. He's just so so good so hot i'm like also how dare you be that hot and not for us

i want to have you that's like all the berries instructors there's a guy named donald i swear to you i've never seen more beautiful man i know the way you said it i know donald doesn't seem like a hot guy but i'm telling you pull donald from berries please i banged on hot donald when i was 19 yes i did i did well i'm here to tell you there are hot donalds he had strap up pants he had jeans with like laced up they laced up the crotch it was like like christina are you sure he wasn't donnie i might have been the last yes that's donald okay he's obviously hot yeah he's very hot now i had a berries egg related berry situation so i just manically one night recently because i've been eating so shitty because i want to hear all okay so we'll just do it in sequence okay so i um they put me

on the birth control and birth control actually sent me through a tail. I never do birth control because it makes me like crazy. I don't like them fucking with my hormones, all that stuff. But I had to do it for two weeks. I went a little crazy. Oh, just two weeks. And I was eating. Yeah, it wasn't the whole cycle.

Oh, wow. That's what I'm saying. I think they were just trying to get me at a very specific time. Yeah. So it would be the beginning of my cycle when we start the thing. So I, because you know you get your period guys you might not know this if you miss your one fucking moment of your birth control you gush blood and really it's a nightmare correct but so for someone with add i had to stop doing birth control because

i was like i'm just gonna my period every other day i'm gonna forget this all the time but so um so uh one of the birth control was emotionally eating. I don't know why it made me eat so much. I just, I think, I don't know. No, that's normal. It's fucking with your hormones in ways you don't understand. But I remember when I started birth control again, like when I was in my 20s, the binge eating was award winning. And you were hanging out with Benji, so it was Benji eating.

Benji loves to push a little binge he's like i bought you all the desserts he's the opposite of carlos and it's so true it's actually the opposite of carlos but so um so i just was eating a lot and i was like you know what i'm just gonna like pretend i'm pregnant and just like use this time to just eat a lot i know i'm gonna have i know i'm gonna get bloated anyway so i was like eating like shit and you know having fun doing it and then in the middle of the night i was like you know what i gotta come back hard i'm gonna sign up for berries i'm gonna start doing berries so then i sign up for berries of course i do like the 280 where it's

like three three classes a week which i'm like that is so crazy to where it's like three classes a week, which I'm like, that is so crazy to go full Barry. Three Barry's a week is a lot. That's what I used to do, but I did always get injured. I'm not going to lie. Sorry, Barry's. No offense to you. It's probably my bad.

I once purchased like at once, like a hundred classes. By the end of the year, I was trying to beg them if I could exchange it for 70 points. I think you're the reason why when a new client comes in now, you're the reason why they're always like, why don't you do one class before you sign up for more classes? They have to say that now. And I think you're it. Yeah.

I lost thousands of dollars going for that trick. And listen, I like losing money. So I would be into that but esther does not like it no it was painful they were precious though i love berries they're really amazing so okay so i order i order the classes and then i immediately see dr wong in my head going you're not going to be able to exercise you can only do like light walking and stuff and i go wait why did i just sign up for the monthly thing on the time when I just can't do it so I wrote them I wrote them I go guys I'm freezing my eggs I'm such a like dildo I'm sorry I am an idiot like I just completely forgot I was like once my eggs are frozen I'm like

so excited to come back but I just this is the two weeks I'm unable to exercise so um they wrote me back they were so nice like we totally understand we refunded it like hit us up oh that's good i know i was like so happy i did put my instagram handle no i do always go this is my instagram handle i sign with like my if you want to follow my egg journey no just like my number of followers it's like sliding a 20 across the table like you don't want to fuck with this i'm so annoying just watch some clips you don't want to get involved i like that it's not about being famous or having followers it's just like i'm annoying check it out you're not gonna get rid of me i tell you crunch jim has been like kind of fucking with

me and by the way they haven't stopped fucking with me so here we go it's gonna get annoying crunch jim you're going to prison crunch can you arrest crunch jim i want to see like the what's their can you bring up crunch jim i want to see what their um logo is it's been a while since i've been there they've been charging me since they re crunch jim can you can i put just the word crunch is their logo can i put the the fist that's holding the crunch in a handcuff there should be shackles hanging down there should be shackles hanging down these people are criminals during the pandemic when i was poor okay before the glow up it's so fun to be rich anyway you gotta meet me here meet me up here anyway um you can do it jim porton um okay so they in the middle of the

pandemic when i'm broke as shit i'm like literally esther and i were like anyway we were manifesting we were manifesting let's just say we were i was doing the man she was doing the festing we were manifesting ourselves we had nothing to do it was a wild time um but anyway so they just turned my account back on i had a frozen account that they just turned back on and started charging me and they have not stopped charging me i'm like i will not pay you guys a dollar and my credit card i didn't know until that credit card got um i didn't know until my true bill that they were still charging me so they were charging me and then it's on an old card so they're just hitting this old card and it's not getting any money because the card got canceled so now they're

just jokes on them but now they're writing me complaining that i owe them all this back money i'm like why would i owe you money when you turn my account back on without you could just without telling me and when i do send me an email and i didn't say you did not get my consent to turn it back on you cannot turn it back on they're doing this to so many other people they're doing this to a million people and the problem is that like if it was an active card you could just dispute the charges you could let them know hey like these are yeah you have a case here yeah and don't we all trash tuesday have a case here. Yeah. And don't we all, Trash Tuesday, have a case here? I have an army now, an army of slugs that will very slowly wear them in front of you and complain that you're crunched in.

Anyway, don't go to crunch gym. They fucking suck. Go to any other gym. They're fucking blow. Well, that's what Kyle always says. Really? Yeah. Well, not crunch.

Sometimes he uses crunch as an example, but he's's always like you're not here because you like planet fitness like he always like um if you don't want to be here walk two blocks down the street to planet fitness is that what it's called planet shitness is what my dad calls it but he says things like that that make me like feel even more honored to be under his um abusive um you know i can't wait to get just beat up by him i'm really so excited i have a pitch and i we're gonna get back to x because i of course no you're the in charge i have add yes barry's hires us no ambassadors no it's way less she just wants a smoothie she's like i want one free smoothie you really are bobby you know that right he only goes in for the smoothies oh my god it's actually so funny it's like i go to the movie theater sometimes just to get popcorn

yes yeah yes oh my god i have done that i've gone to the mall gone to the movie theaters get the popcorn walk around the mall yes dropping it all over the place i have to go into a bed bath and beyond and just drop them like use your brooms we can follow each other find each other oh my god i would go to skokie can we can we play that you're doing that you do the what's what was the korean bow you do the korean bow while you're licking it up she's just frogging around the ground we play hide and seek at old orchard mall okay so wait is there a bbb there bbb bed bath beyond i was just there like two weeks ago like that so confidently that we were 20 off entire purchase guys i have coupons guys i got you think my mom doesn't have those two you guys i got the buzz yesterday i got the buzz the alert

that i got a text and i went oh bad bethany i got my 20 off but is it for the item or is it but how many things do i need okay okay all my hens are clucking in the hen speaking of eggs okay i think we should all together go take kyle's class like it's so obvious right My hens are clucking in the hen. Speaking of eggs, cluck, cluck, cluck. Okay. I think we should all together go take Kyle's class. Like, it's so obvious, right? Yeah. We have to do it. Yes. Okay, great.

Yeah. Okay. Thousand percent. Carlos, fire up Annie's Tesla and let's go. Oh, fire it up. Don't actually fire it up. It's hard to get out once it's on fire. You get cooked, guys.

There is a chance. Teslas are amazing cars and then every once in a while, you get burned to death. But you You get hooked, guys. There is a chance. Teslas are amazing cars and then every once in a while you get burned to death. But you know. Oh, God. Not me, not me, not me. I know I did my Syracuse promo video

and it's about me burning to death in my car. Okay. Just kidding, Elon. Can't wait to come to your parties, Joe. Don't fuck this up. We're going to go to Kyle's class. Kyle's.

Eggs. Carlos, I'm curious. What are you? Are you? How high are you? Are you? How high are you? Are you not here? The clicking is hilarious. I took a hundred milligram edible like an hour ago.

So we'll see. How are you right now? Like just like 10% of the ride. Yeah. Like I'm in it. Yeah. Wait, did I tell you guys when I took the, ate the Doritos and I was eating the weed Doritos and then I'm talking to Todd. I got weed doritos when i was in um what are weed

doritos in richmond i was like i need weed i like didn't know where to get weed so this guy brought me all of these all of these different types of weeds and they had one that was it was this bag of doritos it's like dusted with weed and i was like oh amazing so i'm on the phone after the show talking to todd i'm just like just shoving them down they're so good they're delicious and then he's like how many milligrams are they looking at 600 no no what happened i puked i made myself puke i was like i can't go through this journey i'm not ready to have a fucking i don't want to die i don't have an ego death wow so you can make yourself puke to like as an emergency you can't duster i tried sadly i tried and i was never able to i just binged i never purged

okay i'm a big purger major major like i what yeah even blow jobs like it's always yeah not like not like no i That was too good. Did you guys get boners? That was really well made. Let's just say I've thrown up on a few cocks myself. I'm like, it's extra lube. They love that. When you look up and you're all like,

just, you know, look so just broken and you're crying. There's a little like piece of bologna on your teeth where the bologna come from the bologna was the sandwich earlier let's go back to talking about eggs oh really are you sure we don't want to talk about people still eating bologna i just i have an image when we were little okay when i was in nursery school we had those remember the boots that were like the hyper color boots and they would like, when you would go out into the snow, they would turn into colors. We had those little like moon snow boots that we would wear outside.

And I just remember it was either I threw up or my brother threw up on my boots and it was all bologna. And so now whenever I throw up, I just imagine bologna's in it. Dude, college, I used to just fry bolognese oh that's good yeah it was batter hamburger helper I remember I ate bolognese for my school lunches and I got made

fun of once and it really traumatized me what did they say about like ew bolognese and I was like bolognese you're right it's a lie I would always like fold it up and then you bite the thing off and then you like had an eye and you look

oh you don't say we have baloney fun do we have baloney in the studio today this is a perfect opportunity to just make eye baloney Carlos you didn't think to bring baloney I'm sorry for not having reserved baloney baloney sunglasses could have been a thing and we could make the hole and then you could fuck the the hole the baloney i'm out on that he's carlos isn't carlos was thinking about it he was

like what yeah i was like trying to figure it out it just seems like you would break the baloney instantly wouldn't you no you make the hole yeah but going through the hole wouldn't like feel good to have like because you need it to be tighter you need it to be tighter. You need it to be tighter to feel it. And then that would tear it. I don't think my pussy is very tight, you guys. I'm like thinking about it. None of us do. No one's out here thinking. I'm just kidding.

You know what I will say. I would have said it to you too. But it is funny. You do know most of my jokes are just, there's a word that I can say that I know will make people laugh. Not necessarily like... I mean, I've seen some semen on your back but we have um i just don't think um so you know when when burt was talking about being you know like very afraid to be with um sexual partners because he was afraid of getting stds so the truth about me is i'm kind of just they used to call me a face

queen because i actually wouldn't my body count is not very high but the amount of dudes i've blown is very high like exponentially higher than the dudes i've actually had sex with and that's because i had that same thing where i was like very conscious about like stds and whatnot there's a natural loosening that happens is there over time a little bit is there like a okay i actually think girls that fuck more have tighter pussies really why yeah you're you're using your muscles more huh i love when gay guys express how like repulsed they are by vaginas it's so funny it's a relief i don't like that really yeah no i think that's fucked up why because it's still shaming a woman's body part like and you know there's gay men that hate women so to me i don't know i see where that's i'm okay with it as long as i can just shame the

fuck out of yours i don't as long as we're in a shame equal shaming i'm fine but i do feel like i'm i take back the night sometimes talking shit on dicks on stage where it's like because it is like how often i had to fucking hear that shit and then it's like and then you like get older and you get open with your partners and stuff and all your partners are like, like every boyfriend I have is like, you have like a great pussy.

Like that's so, and I'm like, wow, all this time I spent, but I'm actually glad. I think having, being worried about my vagina made me less of a hoe.

That's awesome. But being a hoe is, I would have been like in, I feel like being a hoe for me is a real badge of honor. I was really shamed for sucking a lot of dick when I was younger. But those lips were meant for sucking. Exactly.

Thank you. Finally. Someone says it. It would be rude to not do that. Wasted potential if I didn't spend my life just sucking dick. I used to love sucking dick, guys. It's a wrap for me. It's TMJ.

Honestly, I know where the TMJ came from. I do it, but I'm never going to pretend. I used to like it. It used to get me off to just blow. I used to like it. It used to, like, get me off to, like, just blow. I used to have suck a dick day where it would be, like, this power move. Or it would be, like, a guy that I, like, I swear to God. And I loved it. Like, I would just, like, show up at a guy's house and be like.

Suck a dick day. Happy suck a dick day. And I would just blow. If they tried to fuck, I'd be like, ew, this is suck a dick day. Do not disrespect the rules of suck a dick excuse me you guys let's talk about Bessie

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It's sustainably made and it's vegan and they are comfortable, lightweight, and breathable. And they're actually really stylish. They are. And they're snowproof for winter. Like the fact that you have a sneaker you can wear in winter that's that light is unbelievable. It just, I, it made me realize that like all I have are sneakers and I needed something that was more durable that I could actually use like if there was ever like kind of weird weather, you know, and also we travel a lot,

right? Like having to pack heavy, funky shoes in your suitcase. That's such a good point. Like, honestly, when you go on the road and you go in winter to anywhere where they actually have winter, it's so infuriating. It's like you can't, half your bag is your boots. Right. Well, with Vessi, you can avoid all that because they're very light and easy to travel with. They're also made from Dymatex, a dual climate knit material, which keeps you cool in summer and warm in winter. Like if you think about it, these are like your four wheel drive shoes. You could just do anything with them, any weather, any climate.

Vessies are our go-to shoes by Ardors. Check them out at the link below, Vessie.com, for a pair of your Vessie shoes. Thank you, Vessie, for sponsoring this pod. Only rules criteria had to be, it had to be someone that I had like been sexty with before. Yeah. And so it was like kind of already like placed. It wasn't just like random doorbell with a big like how they surprise you for the publishing clearinghouse

but there's a hole it's over my mouth i'm like hey guys helpful honda dealers helper hummer givers but i just like and i loved it i love the power of like getting guys off like it was so fun for me but i just now i'm just i mean i guess i could get into that no i guess there are times where i'm like i'm gonna suck my man's dick but it's just like i used to just wake up like i would never know the day before it was gonna be suck a dick day like just wake up what are the signs that it might be a second dick day just like this like this like brewing confidence here like it's just you're like is that heartburn no it's suck a dick day baby oh that was fun and then you just leave there's no touchy backs

but then i started to get i started to know No touchy backsies. That feels like a sentence you invented because you know me. No touchy backs. No, we were put on this earth to have this. Touchy back. To have this correspondence we have. Sometimes I try to not make fun of you or interrupt you. And I see your little eyes looking over at me. Little eyes.

And you're like, where is it? Wait wait i want to know about egg freezing i need to learn in this hour at some point we've got to you know get on the journey hard i'm not like pretending to have addd what do you what do you mean oh you like don't want to talk about it no i'm just saying i have addd oh i would i can't wait to talk about it i just have that everything reminds me of another thing i want to talk about okay i need help let's go back okay did the birth control ate a bunch of food went crazy taking the we're doing all this stuff um i'm getting a little bloated we stopped the birth i stopped the birth control i go in i'm like like a little bit starting my period they check they're like all of your eggs are good i have like 18 follicles on one side i can't remember

how many but like tons of follicles so they're like this is really good and then so they so then i got all my meds i ordered the meds and they all have a lot of them have to be frozen and you have to like mix all these things it's like very weird there's a pen you you inject and on a syringe but you have to like add these powders to the syringe and stuff so that was a little confusing but i start those tomorrow and so that's when they said you're not going to do a lot of exercise and i asked him to because i was like i am performing throughout this whole thing i'm gonna be on stage i'm gonna he's like you're gonna be uncomfortable but we'll just put you on a diet that's gonna make you the least uncomfortable so in what way um are you gonna be uncomfortable I think I'm

gonna just be bloated and like think about it it's like they're making your body usually only makes like a few they're making you have the most eggs you can have so it's gonna be like more than you would have ever had like so you know what I mean so it's they tell you about like mood changes or like hunger changes or sleep changes or just bloating they just said i'm gonna be uncomfortable okay yeah and it's only for two weeks it's around two weeks and then and it's great he like timed it around my schedule it's like so cool and um but so they said don't do any like crazy cardio where you're jumping or whatever i'm just gonna walk i'm gonna do the esther workout the hardcore esther workout i might not do it as hard as you though esther sometimes shoots ahead you're like where is this bitch i know i always surprise

people with how fast i walk for how short my legs are like i know and for like how much you're like moving your hips back and forth waddling it. It's the fastest waddling down. But you have surprisingly long legs for being very petite. For being a little person. Yeah. Like your proportions are very like. Normal. Yeah.

If you were five foot ten, you'd, you know, you'd have like Gigi Hadid. Oh my God. I just remember what I said on the wall. Good proportions. Thank you for letting me know what it could be. Yeah. What I said on stage the other week. So everyone always wants to know how tall you are.

I'm like, I was talking about how short the wall is. I was like, is Esther or the wall taller right now? Do you know what has given me a re-boost of so much height confidence is that Kim Kardashian is basically the same height as me. Yeah, everyone that's popular is a little munchkin. If I ever meet her you guys like i'm gonna be looking at her at my level i think prince was your height too i have seen this is great i saw prince at a party once and i didn't know it was

prince but i was like i know i know i saw him you know prince is like my number one i saw him walk out of a bar in hollywood and obviously huge entourage but I just remember clocking that man is so petite. He is so petite. Was he not wearing his cloths? Yeah did he have his booty cheeks hanging out? I don't know I just remember like small person walking by

like on my level. He really did a favor for the short kings because he really led the charge in saying hey like I'm five foot flat but i'm gonna have a harem of the hottest women ever do you think if he was taller he would have named himself king he was he just wished he could almost he was being size appropriate um wow we would definitely be the chloes you and i yeah oh yeah i don't think it has to be by height but yeah i you know what chloe is i have to admit i watched the new episode of the new show kardashian sulu

chloe is very funny she is they all are pretty yeah yeah there's always something funny happening and yeah being said carlos is kendall oh you are kendall you're the Kendall of the group no he's Rob you can work but you gotta be behind the scenes you're Scott your choice in women do resemble Blac Chyna oh that's funny cause anytime you send me

our text messages I'm like oh he likes the beautiful thick ones he likes thicker Latina women I'm like, oh, he likes the beautiful thick ones. He likes thicker Latina women, I feel like. I'm not sent these. No, this was a one night thing where- Where I was actively looking for women to have sex with. Oh, you sent to her. I remember that.

Oh, God. The gay night. It's not game night, it's gay night. Gay night. Can we have that? We should have gay night.'s not game night it's gay night can we have that we should have gay night that was too serious it's every tuesday baby and it's during the day i don't know if you noticed okay so i'm gonna have to take these hormones and so the diet who's gonna inject you i have to do it i'll let todd do it too though okay he doesn't like to hurt me though you don't actually don't feel a lot You just You make sure

They said one stings One of them really burns They were like We just have to be honest But just Grab it well Grab it well and grab it tight I mean I do my peptides

Oh yeah Then you know She's used to it Why does everything you sound Sounds like a 90s Hip hop lyric Grab it well grab it tight I bet you if we were wound this

We would hear her say several lyrics We have a hip hop album. You guys are crisscross. We could, guys. I literally found a TikTok that I sent to Carlos that says Korean people don't smell. They don't. They don't. I'm here to tell you they really don't.

Not all of them. Do they smell to each other, though? Maybe just our nose can't smell them. Koreans don't have body odor due to a genetic mutation that alters sweat. It's not every korean right but it's it's bobby is one of them i can attest to this i it angers me to no end did you you knew this oh i knew this i and like his balls never smell his dick never smells unless he's like wiping back to front and the shit accidentally gets on his nuts but any other

time i swear to you like the boy just doesn't smell. The fact that you had to give that caveat. Well, is it sweat? Now, correct me if I'm wrong. Apocrine glands. Is it sweat like your bacteria farting? A germ fart is sweat? No, it's BO.

That's what BO is? Yeah, because sweat itself doesn't smell. It's the bacteria feasting on that sweat and then producing a gas. then producing i think your germs had some broccoli earlier what the fuck no because in fact i was gonna say i feel like i don't have very i that's a lie sometimes i don't smell but sometimes i really do there's a difference between workout bo which is hardly anything like i can sweat excessively and it's nothing it's like that's right but then anxiety bio oh my god when i'm anxious like really nervous that's probably your

farts going into it do you ever have a really long day of being really really anxious and then even your groin like you pull your panties down and you're like fuck this was a very anxious day where you the smell is different anxiety sweat is different from regular like workout sweat i wanna like research this on my body and girl are you anxious because your pussy is standing you ever get like when i'm nervous my armpits are just out of control it's wild it is like smell good right now mine are i'm pitting through i'm pitting too when we do our hometown dates you're gonna watch us eat philly cheese like we're gonna do that there's a sushi spot in philly that i really really want to try i think it's called royal sushi okay and it's only had they only have like 10 seats i think

and i think it's very hard to get um um not an appointment a reservation so i was hoping that maybe production can somehow get a seat what's it called royal i think is what it's called royal royal oh my god why do you make everything sound like it's like you're like royal royal you're such a like uh mom you know what you are you're a forever teen you're like mom and dad i love that yes you know who's a forever teen all of us no but it was a really good one who i used to this is where i coined the term was with lisa oh really yeah lisa's like always she's always like stomping up the stairs you made that up yeah it's not even on the internet it's good yeah i made it up a

forever teen we have our forever teen moments for sure i'm a forever teen on a plane i'm not always a forever teen in real life but on a plane I am I put my Socks on I do this And honestly like no one Respects me on that plane because I look like a child I act like a child it's like my place of Like the woman came up to us and literally I was Like I was humping Esther into the Seat when we were going to fight and the woman came up

She was like it's alright I have children your age I'm like man you're 40 you definitely do not have children Our age We're your age bitch I like man you're 40 you definitely do not have children our age oh yeah we're your age bitch i'm dave's forever teen no it's i love it it's like it's if you've ever slammed a door you're forever what are some other forever teen things well i just feel like with dave sometimes i'm i'm a forever teen in the house because i'm like he's like doing his thing and i'm in like in my room getting high i'm his team he doesn't want me to be but i am if you here's a forever team move if you you if

your lock on your door is scissors that's a what when i was a teenager that's what was my lock you know i didn't have a lock on my door either i learned it from dazed and confused then they gave me a padlock and then i just started smoking cigarettes. I was like, that was a big mistake. I just started smoking cigarettes in my house just blatantly like this. Were they locking you in? Because a padlock seems... No, I will jump out a window. They know I'll smash their window.

They know it's not going to happen. Esther, you'd know that pain of being locked in, right? Oh, you're locked in. We're locked out. The gate locked me in. It's very traumatic. You were crated. But now I'm just picturing Annie being locked in a bedroom

and then somehow scratching her way through the wall and it working. A hundred percent that would happen. You cannot contain me. It's just not going to happen. It's just not going to work out. They should put you in prison as an experiment so that they can see the easiest way to escape.

Wait, can I tell you the most disrespectful custom-made muzzles what we should have custom-made muzzles for us you guys in high school as okay wait in high school when i this actually is a wild thing we can try this on an episode it might traumatize me though you may see a pts flare up in front of your eyes but in high high school, we had to, for our graduation stuff, because my high school was not real. They just were there to bang us. But one of our graduation things was you had to do modes of expression and people would do like their art or whatever.

And because I had been in this thing with my teacher and everyone called me a liar and stuff, I went a whole day with my mouth duct taped, which did not last long because I was like, people were like saying stuff and then I was pissed. Were you trying? Like, were you trying to talk through the tape though? Of course.

And then I had a mustache that I bleached with my mom. So that was like our bonding was bleaching our mustaches. And so then I pulled, it was like a full waxing of my upper lip. But I was so pissed and everyone was just like, it was a nightmare. But I tried to have my mouth to like as my... Well, that's what George Kimmel does.

Every night he tapes his mouth so it forces him to strictly nose breathe because that's a healthier way. I've heard that. That's like a real thing. What I heard was his wife takes that time,

that opportunity when he, as soon as his mouth is taped, that's when she starts firing off. We got to send her some ideas because i have some things i need george to do i didn't know it was a mouth problem i thought it was a ears problem wait also i think on our next live stream we should have you tape your mouth for like five minutes as an experiment and see how you see what comes out i'm getting anxious thinking

about it which means it's a good idea do you think that you would um be able to survive a silent retreat i have images of myself getting kicked out of a silent retreat i've never seen it to the end in my visions you know i've never gotten through the days i actually good for me i was just thinking like oh should we all go to one but i was like i that would really go together that would be torture to go with you guys and not be able to talk to you would be miserable for me it would have to be a solo journey i would push my farts out so loud just to maintain my loudness wait are we allowed to laugh no okay so and the vampasa ones because i've looked this up i do want to do it i just before i really wasn't i kind of was afraid i had this weird thought that i would like not want to do comedy or something at the end of it like i wasn't i was like i don't want to do anything that would make me think this

wasn't like my dream but i don't feel that it would that would ever happen now no way after i've done all this ayahuasca and shit it's like this is like what i'm meant to hear i'm put here to do what if we go and then literally within like the first, by the first day, we've already figured out how to communicate. Like just, we have our own language. Okay, so you're not supposed to make eye contact. You're not supposed to make eye contact.

You can't, you can't journal. You can't journal? Oh, hell no. The whole thing is about like sitting with yourself. In words, right? To move in words. And to have no communication. And you do, I think there's like walking is about like sitting with yourself. Inwards, right? To move inwards. And to have no communication. And you do, I think there's like walking too, like through the day.

But mostly you're just sitting there. And people go crazy. They're like day four is insane. You know what I'm going to look like? In San Diego, in the San Diego Zoo, there was an enclosed area where there was only one sun bear. And this one bear just kept doing little circles. enclosed area where there was only one sun bear and this one bear just kept doing little circles and i i remember um passing by and thinking this is the saddest most stressed out animal that's how i would be at the silent retreat i would just be in circles i think i'm not being able to like

journal but then you would but then you would push through that i'm literally getting physical manifestations of my anxiety of like i get tingles on the side of my face thinking about this which is making me think we should do it how long how many days is it 10 days so no eye contact no um so any expression like laughing giggling or i'm sure i'm sure people go into giggle fits i can't imagine people don't just lose their fucking minds and what happens do we get reprimanded do we get whipped okay you're turning now she's getting horny well now do we get reprimanded do we get whipped okay you're turning now wait but okay just because we're talking about the silent retreat you guys know since the day we started this podcast all i have been wanting is to go with you guys to the ranch malibu boot camp thing where they like force us to hike they wake us up at 5 a.m

like i don't know this you don't no i'm down no this is like and it's it's very expensive i think it's like literally like seven or eight thousand dollars that's expensive i gotta go i want this trash podcast just kidding but like my dream in the in life would be to do this with you guys sometime this calendar year okay can we do this can we go to the ranch malibu and have boot camp and maybe we can record episodes while we're there yeah wait is that allowed like what are they yeah it's not why don't we just do it in the room and not tell them and yeah no it would be fine i guess it's too late we told them they um there's like activity so it's like from 5 a.m till 6 p.m or whatever you're like doing the hike the breakfast we'll never see kalilah she's gonna be so far ahead of us oh that's

gonna hurt i'm gonna be the caboose i'm a very slow walker and i'm a very slow hiker i'm a slow hiker really slow and oh yeah here's like an example of how the day goes and then she's only going for nap time i promise you the only reason this bitch wants to go is because she wants someone to tell her it's okay to have nap time it's like the high of getting to go any this is the complete opposite of how you wake up todd in the morning look at the first thing it says 5 30 in the morning gentle guest wake up with tibetan chimes i do cheat i do treat him like a guest i will say that like it's my day bitch some days i wake up dave with annie energy and it's so much fun i'm just like hi todd doesn't realize i've been up for hours.

I've been waiting for him to get up. Waiting. He's like, yeah, I always wake up in the middle of a conversation. But like we could do this and then after dinner time, we would record our little, our podcast and check in and let everyone know how it's going. Like how much fun would this be? I'm surprised it doesn't say nappy time for Esther.

Well, we can. Nap time at one o'clock how long is it not just an hour well yeah but you don't really you know you just kind of nap time just means like every this esther this thing was made for you low impact strength training restorative i know it's things like gentle and when you see how little of it i participate in you'll really see that it was made for me because i'm i look do they have bathtubs is that why you love it i think that wait i'm seeing on the bottom there's a little asterisk asterisk it says program includes two daily snacks a healthy cooking class garden tour and a diagnostic testing i know that's what you want you can't

wait to be i think she owns this place and she has i wish oh banana break oh the prime real estate of our podcast yeah first now for sale i want your advice on esther since you're the anti-ghost person. I think I had my very first paranormal thing like truly happened to me that does not make sense. I was at the pool where I usually am and I usually I'll bring my fins and I'll do these little drills where I drop to the bottom about 10 feet and I do a couple laps underwater right holding my breath and i was there with my sister and while i was underwater like on the floor just kicking away very slowly i feel this like someone do this something do this so initially i was like oh it has to be my sister

yeah signaling me but then i look up. She's not there. I look forward. She's on the other end of the pool. And I'm like, well, is there debris falling on me? I was looking for things that might have landed on me, anything. And nothing. Nothing, Esther. I swear to you, from the bottom of my heart, I thought that maybe I was either I was having some schizophrenic moment of like, did I just imagine something touch me that way?

And instead of being afraid, I actually felt really calmed by it. I was like, oh, that's a weird thing. I love that it was underwater. I know. Was this at your pool, like at your house? No, no. It was at the pool that I go to laps. I'm not buying it.

I just feel like a ghost would finger you. You would have somehow gotten molested. They wouldn't have just touched your shoulder, Rich. I'm not buying it. I just feel like a ghost would finger you. You would have somehow gotten molested. They wouldn't have just touched your shoulder, which I'm thinking you, it had to be debris. It was, there was no one else in the pool and the next lanes over. Yeah.

I think it was debris or someone scratching you on accident. And then quickly Esther, where I'm 10 feet in the bottom, I'm underwater. I'm not on the surface of the bottom. I'm underwater. I'm not on the surface of the pool. I am literally at the bottom of the pool, holding my breath, kicking slowly.

Just doing this slowly. I'm open to believing. I want to believe. Or is it, am I having a mental health crisis? Can we play a clip of her screaming? Are you a motherfucking idiot? I would love to believe it sounds to me like. A mental health crisis. No, no.

Because I don't think there's anything unhealthy mentally for you with this happening because you're not scared by it. It's not bothering your life. For me, I could have something like that happen and choose to believe that it was like a spiritual being and that would be okay guys i have seven spirit guides haven't i told you i have seven spirit guides i i talk i go to this woman she was like she's like you have seven spirit guides i was like i was like is one dopey and one sleepy how short are they no i'm down for whatevs whatever works i believe that's kind of where i'm headed in life whatever makes me happy and keeps me positive and enjoying things and keeps

me kind of like um tapped into the audience and feeling really like a community with all of the people that I meet that that's what I believe in yeah yeah I I'm for sure like I've lived my life being an atheist and not having a belief in God but I always stay open I think at some point in my life if it goes in that direction and now I have this newfound like belief. I'd be okay with that as well. Yeah, we evolve. It's like everything you think when you're younger. Or is it devolve? It would be weird,

but wouldn't it be weird to like be sure of something your entire life? Wouldn't that be like a sad, weird experience of life? Right. To just have one thing be the thing your whole life. Yeah, not be open to it changing. And like, so everyone you talk to, nothing like moves you or?

Oh, yeah. No, that's a good point. Because I love, I love talking to people and having that take me somewhere. Like, I love being open to things. She doesn't mean getting kidnapped, okay? We have to be very careful with this. She's very short. Yeah, I like, you know what I like that I used to resist when I was younger?

I like being proven wrong. Now these days, I like being wrong. I like being surprised at how little I know about something. That's exciting. Because that makes me so in awe of life. I'm like, God, I know so little. Like, how exciting is it that I get to learn all of these things every day?

Because I'm a fucking dum-dum. Oh, yeah that it's like my aunt i used to be really like you know i was brought up quaker but not truly religious and i was very i wasn't atheist but i just wasn't i didn't believe in god and i would you know and i kind of was like people believe in god like i was very like confused by the whole thing and my aunt my uh niece drowned when she was four. And this was before I was born. I know I'm going to cry.

Wait, what? It was before I was born. My niece, yeah. I mean, not my niece, my cousin. My aunt's daughter drowned when she was four. And I remember I was talking to my dad had gone through open art surgery in 2011. And my aunt came to help. And we were hanging out.

And my aunt was talking about like church or god or heaven or something and i was like i was like you believe in god like i couldn't believe she believed in god i went you believe in god and she and she was like where else would i see heather and i was so now every time someone's religious i'm like i'm happy for you like you know what i mean that's why i just kind of like i really try to respect what people believe as long as it doesn't cause harm for other people exactly that's where that's definitely how i've always tried to live my life is whatever gets you to lay your head down at night in a peaceful way outside of like harming other people intentionally you do that and you know

oh my god i'm so affected i know and i honestly know is my my biggest fear annie she passed away like when um like she would probably be almost 50 maybe even now like she'd be in her 40s and um so it was before i was born but it was so weird like this like birthday of hers my brother and i like really like it was like i never like felt it as like our family you know because she had been dead our whole time and it's like one of our tribe you know and i just feel so much for my auntie and she's like she has like different religion or different um political affiliations than my dad sometimes they fight and i'm like dad it's like nothing matters like none of that stuff and they don't like fight fight but they like they have tension it's just like everyone there's a reason why everyone is the way they are

and you just like gotta let them be that way again if they're not like harming anyone. But yes, yes. I know. I just, I think about her and it's like really nice to like celebrate her birthday and stuff, you know. And I feel kind of like a shit that I never, I just never like a lot. I think as Dr. Drew was saying, we just like avoid grieving on my family. Like even when my dad was in the hospital getting

all these like surgeries and stuff and before my dad got open heart surgery he had stents put in to his heart and it's it's not a huge procedure but any procedure on your heart as you know it causes a lot of depression it's really intense for you because it's you can't trust your body yeah yeah the one thing that has worked so diligently your whole life that literally does not sleep all of a sudden you're like wait could it sleep is it gonna sleep you know your heart just never stops beating it just always is there you know it's there for you every week and then you get an arrhythmia is that what you had an arrhythmia an arrhythmia my dad had that too yeah they're fucking you know they're annoying my dad i thought

at one point does it keep you short of breath or when i have my episodes at night yeah everything's sweating 250 beats a minute it feels very very like you're having like the chest pain the heart attack but esther i mean not to um um diminish in any way the drowning incident that happened to your aunt but i honestly now that has triggered a thought i don't want you to drown i need to teach you how to swim because all of a sudden now that's a sudden fear of mine i cannot one day say how did she die she drowned that would be my i i i couldn't get over that whole show just turns into us teaching you things i'm totally okay with that would be have been the goal from the start yes i'm totally fine with it can i just be, have been the goal from the start. Yes. I'm totally fine with it.

Can I just please teach you, Esther? Yes. I'm so down to learn. Of course. We'll be sending NF, we'll be selling NFTs to this experience. If,

but if it makes you feel better in the meantime, I won't swim. I do not go anywhere near water. And my, I grew up with uncles with like, you know, out in the lake,

fishing. This is how she didn't get molested. This is how she didn't get molested. This is how she didn't get molested. We were in these fucking swimsuits all the time. You're right. We did ask for it. It wasn't our fault. I was at home with my great grandma while all the other kids were out having fun with the family.

I was, I never participated. But the chances of you. She was great, great grandmother's pet. How sad is that? Oh my God. Like the senile one by the way todd told me that his grandmother like his whole life had alzheimer's so he's like every every memory of his grandmother was like going to visit her in her house when we're going who is the like he his impression is so funny wait that happened to my sister when my dad was when my dad was um kind of sort of on his way out he would have these moments of not being

very lucid and he was at home on the bed my sister went in the room to like serve him breakfast and then he started like he was already in diapers at this point um the amount of times i have to say that word on the show it's really astounding diapers because your dad died in diapers. Basically. Diaper. He started looking for his passport. Like he was already bedridden at this point, so he couldn't move very much. But he started like grabbing things. And then I got a phone call because I wasn't home.

He called me and he was like, there is a strange lady in my room. She's kind of hot though. Yeah. She looks like your mom. And I could hear my sister over the phone saying papa it's me like just crying and he was like get her out of here she's like you know she's here to like hurt me or whatever i was like papa that's coinda that's coinda and i could hear her crying in the background i was like oh no he's confused but he remembered me so i felt kind of good about that and she was like what the fuck

but it was really like painful for her you know so like anytime i hear about like dementia is oh it's like a family affliction it's not it doesn't happen to one person it happens to everyone you know that reminds me of one of my favorite memories of my great grandma when we all went me and it was she was finally like in a home and we all went to visit her in Minnesota. It was her three grandchildren, like my mom, her two brothers, and then all the grand the kids. And and she looked at all of us. She didn't know anyone except my mom. And she didn't know any of us. And she just goes to my mom, where's Maury? And I was like, by the way i'll say

the same thing if you guys are like where the fuck is your dad bitch get the hell out of here and like i'll always remember that because in a way it made me feel special like it's obviously embarrassing to admit but like they didn't remember like she didn't remember my cousins and at least she remembered my dad which was such a like a such a victory for me because i always felt so insecure amongst my cousins growing up because i was like the jewish one and they'd be like you're not like us and so you're not like us yeah it's yeah you were built for me you guys make fun of you forever you've been beat up esther i have you know what it is i've been so ignored like no one wanted to play with me or hang

out with me don't you know my other famous rejects me all the time i can't even it's so annoying to hear this from the person that rejects me by the way didn't see you last night did you have to pop out i look for you i literally did you check the stage with the microphone where i was saying the jokes i uh my other like famous childhood story is that we were all at my aunt's house in wisconsin and all even more cousins everyone was there and i remember i was i couldn't find anyone i was like and i was sitting with the fucking parents listening to them talk like the most boring it's so funny that she doesn't want to hang with the parents but she wants to hang with the parents parents like literally like sitting at the foot of my mom's chair just listening to grown-ups being

boring and i was like do you guys know where the kids are where and they were like we don't know we don't know and then i of course later i find out they're all in the attic playing dress up like and my sister was the well you were jewish they didn't want to bring you to the attic i don't want to kill you you just solved my childhood trauma thank you but also you i imagine just to reframe this i imagine you were clinging to your mom's ankle. You were probably clinging to the ankle. And you just wanted them to be, like, near you down while you were clinging with your...

Like, you probably could have gone up to the attic, bitch. You just wanted the attic to come to you. Could be true. Yeah, could be true. Yeah. But let's bully them. What are their handles? Unfortunately, the main ringleader is my fucking sister oh my god well she had to deal with you honestly yeah to be a mother to you is so annoying a mini mother because she's so much you just came

out dancing to like how annoying must that have been true you like tap dancing and shit oh i would have been so annoyed then she just came upstaged me and literally upstaged me wait it's like are you are you like kind of like my big sister um am i your big sister i'll be your big sister i think everyone is my that's my issues i make everyone my big sister i treat you as a son yeah that's and i'm slightly disappointed in also proud love that mix i believe you can do better this is it then dave just kidding i'm joking she cannot dave do not leave her it will be a woman in your place you guys should dance to that maybe at your wedding the the is it um who sings it um the dance with my father's song maybe uh oh i dance with him yeah do you guys not know luther vandross what if just i'm dancing with your dad i mean the

father daughter one our dads are dancing you guys would it be really fucked up if um at my wedding i'm dancing by myself but doing like the father daughter dance no i love that that's so good but then the luther vandross song to dance with my father again i got chills that's so funny and good please i love now you have to get married can i help you choreograph like this should be a solo yeah can you by the way help choreograph anything you stupid bitch she's like i don't have time why because you're dancing you're dancing to teach us to dance you know that we will do you guys manifesting us palm Palm Springs, Airbnb, sleepover weekend. We dance.

We cry. We laugh. We dance. We party. We party. We dance. We party. Carlos gets high.

We all get high. Like, how much fun? You guys, this has been a splendid episode. I know. I feel. We do all have to have weddings. Yes. I'm okay with that'm okay we have them together

because we need to i mean mine's gonna be but todd's like wouldn't be funny if we got engaged and married and then married before esther i was like that's gonna happen would it be funny i mean that it's is it happening yes it's definitely gonna happen i think you and i are in competition for never getting there yeah annie needs to beat us both yeah and it will beat us both guys i've been thinking about weddings like i've been thinking about weddings like i've never thought about weddings like i kind of want to just get married in vegas on purpose be the only person that's ever on purpose got married in vegas yeah wouldn't that be so trashy i love that yeah a vegas wedding what i told the the most memorable most heartfelt wedding i ever went to

was a really shitty wedding of my aunt's in Vegas. And we were all in club attire. And I've never cried harder in my life. She it was so moving. I it was just, you just felt the love. I think that's what it is. When I go to weddings a lot, it feels very transactional. And you could see the bride or the people are just very like, consumed by the experience of having to socialize with other people. You don't really see the love between them. There's a lot of performance. Yes. yes well i was a photographer's assistant for weddings and she like she has to keep on a schedule because these people will kill her if they don't get the pictures so she literally runs the entire wedding because people want the pictures so bad so that

it's like like the men at the bride and groom are having fun it's like no no it's time for like the in-laws and stuff like that and she's like i'm like this is really pushy she's like annie they are gonna kill me if i don't do it at the what my best friend's wedding that we just had in great movie texas she the photographer was i noticed like very assertive because they are gonna be destroyed i think that they have the most important job. That bums me out. Yeah. Because it's like if I, you know what, if I ever have a wedding. This is the saddest thing to say. I would love. Literally engage wearing honor fingers.

I would love to just have the tell the photographer just fucking. Candids. Just, yeah. Don't post without showing me though. Document. Wait, this photographer that I love posted a picture. Listen love posted a picture listen posted a picture of me before he asked i called him i was like dude i was like this and i had actual camel toe in it where i was like dude do you know how fast my followers are gonna zoom in

on my vagina i literally was like we gotta face tune that off like it was like in the crack i was like okay um god okay let's bring back um i think we talked about this in our earlier episodes just like candid ugly wedding pictures and also they're funny when you look back at them that's so much more fun tiktok's in bitch okay it's about the videographer now and the videographer does not need to ever have your attention right they just go they shoot it all i can't wait to come have your attention. Right. They just go. They shoot it all. I can't wait to come to your wedding and have it be like fully documented. Like they have lights around. The fact that you think you're invited to my wedding.

Are you going to be a caterer? You can work. I mean, I assume I was the best man. Can you imagine your little, your tiny, tiny hands? Or the ring bearer at least. Obviously, there's many roles. No, you're the bride. You're going gonna be marrying todd there's three brides we should talk about that i'm into that um you guys sell our wedding to

to make more money we'll find that out magic spoon are we did you say magic spoon yeah my wedding the cake is magic in lieu of cake we have magic you guys thank you so much for listening to this episode i hope you had as much fun as we did um because i feel great and also i don't know you can come to the wedding i was kidding it looked like it hurt you um please subscribe to this channel and um comment let us know what you think about all the stupid things we said follow all of our instagrams and the trash tuesday instagram it's at it's trash tuesday yes follow it on tiktok carlos has been crushing it on instagram it's very funny you don't want to miss the gems that are on there and we'll see you guys next week we'll see you Thank you.