Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Hot For Santa!

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors:   BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday Extra.App - Get Extra today to start building credit with debit at https://extra.app/trashtuesday Truebill - Cancel unwanted subscriptions with just a tap at https://truebill.com/trashtuesday Caliper - Get 35% off your first order with promo code TRASH at https://trycaliper.com/trash   Manscaped - Get 20% off + free shipping at http://www.Manscaped.com with the code TRASH Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint mobile for details you guys if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast let me explain

it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started hello you're in for a

crazy episode today i'll let you see why um i am coming and doing coming ew Ew, I'm doing stand up. You guys, January 14th. I'll be at Wise Guys Comedy Club in Salt Lake City. January 21st, Zany's Nashville. And then I'm coming to Raleigh, Cap City in Austin, Indianapolis. And that's it. I'll see you there. Tickets at EstherOnIce.com and SleepoverByEsther.com is my clothing line. Hello, sluggies.

I am back on the road. I can't wait to see you in this upcoming new year. In January, I will be in Edmonton, Canada, Alberta, Canada. I will be at the Improv in Milwaukee, off the hook in Naples, Florida, and side splitters in Tampa, Florida, and a bunch more dates coming up. Please look at Annie Letterman dot com slash shows come see me wait do you have that fantasy of just um um suckling on a teat no i don't she has a fantasy of suckling on a teat that used to have fake t, but now doesn't have them. Are you into fake tits? This is...

Oh, no, not fake. Are you into augmented breasts? This is a Christmas episode, and this is technically within the confines of the Wholesome 10. What did I teach you earlier? What's this phrase that I told you to say? Mana kalia awaki tak. Awaki Taco Bell. How do we say Merry Christmas?

Mana kalia holocaust holocaust esther that never happened everybody welcome to the show come on now we don't talk about those such things by the way when we go to the scope this is we're in kalilah's hometown right now. The hometown dates. You guys, I don't live here. I'm not. This isn't my hometown. Kalilah's pretending she doesn't live here.

I don't live here. When we go to Skokie, we're going to the Holocaust Museum, Annie. That sounds like a blast, Esther. Please take me with you. I can't wait. It actually would be. Any vacation with Esther is very Holocaust Museum-ish. That's exactly how I would say it.

Thank you. You're welcome. So we're what, day three now? Day three in Hawaii. We should probably recap what we did yesterday. Where's my fan? Oh, that's right. Let me get my fan.

Yesterday went so bad for me that today I had to get high right when I woke up. Why did you think it went bad? Because my allergies ruined my day. I don't know. I forgot why. You're on. I think I just had to get high today. But you were high yesterday, weren't you?

At night, yeah. Well, no, not at night, Esther. You were so high during the museum visit. Oh, yeah. I needed to really have a spiritual experience there. Listen, I'm going to tell you guys something. There will be a reel revealing all of these things. I'm working on a reel right now, an investigative reel about how Esther got too high for a museum. I will tell you, okay, so it's a museum of the Islamic arts. So all of the artwork is you okay so it's a museum that of the islamic arts so all of the artwork is symmetrical so it's supposed to show the perfection of god so everything is symmetrical all of their artwork except there's always one imperfection because they don't want to be

disrespectful to god oh yeah so in this podcast esther you're the imperfection you're our smudge. Did you hear what I was saying when he explained that, how I was shouting, yes, I love this. No, you were in another room, Esther. We lost Esther. Like six times we lost you. And we obviously were not supposed to be in there. Okay.

Our lovely tour guide, I think he probably got in a little trouble. The security guard chased me out and was like, while we were leaving and was like, don't ever touch the art. And I was like, I touched the art. I didn't even remember touching the art. The security chased you out?

Yes. And he was really upset. And I was like, oh my God, if I did, I didn't mean to do it. I'll never do it again. But he was so mad at me.

For reference, if you guys want to Google Shangri-La, it's like Doris Duke's home and her lifetime. She's a billionaire heiress. She's the Annie of the podcast. If she were on the podcast, she'd be sitting in the middle. She built this amazing mansion with all these. Not this part.

This part's not me. Lila, you explain it. So it was sick. She took a voyage in her 20s around the world and she landed in Hawaii she fell in love with the place but she was also really into Islamic art so she collected that

over like 60 years of her life and it's all in this one home that they call the Shangri-La yeah she left her husband for one of the island boys she did right? yeah so she had like a this was supposed to be her summer house in hawaii and then she ended up living here full-time and she was banging

uh some young island boy i don't remember which one i mean that's the thing it's like i think what are your thoughts on that i think can you ever go to a place like this and not take on a lover i listen i brought my young island boy with me and he's right here. Hang loose. He's my island boy. I don't, the Hawaiian, that's like not, you know what it is? That's not your type? Are you about to be racist? Brown and beautiful is not your type, Esther? No, flamandized.

You didn't let me fucking finish. The lifestyle that a Hawaiian person leads is very like laid back here. You're on the island. Like I'm more attracted to someone who's like lives in a scared, like New York city like situation like an italian greyhound yes that's the vibe of a man that you like yeah she wants a guy like you're not gonna meet him you're not gonna meet him unless you run into him like on an elevator like wait explain she wants someone

from succession no no no it's someone no don't you have a crush on yeah ken yeah kendall roy yeah She wants someone from Succession. No. No. No. Someone. No. Don't you have a crush on. Yeah. Ken. Yeah. Kendall Roy. Yeah. Look at her.

Look at her face. I talk about it in my act. She wants a Kendall Roy. That's why I'm like, how do I talk about it here? I don't listen. I'll be honest. Esther, I know like one of your new bits. And then I hear laughter. I go, she's OK.

She doesn't need me. And I sit down. I don't care what. I know, you know, my whole act. Can you imagine if I thought you were sitting in the audience I know you're long gone when I go on stage long gone Esther's in Los Feliz by the time I set foot in West Hollywood okay so back to the museum visit it was awesome it was really cool I did get lost Carlos and I got lost at one point there's something with the acoustics in the

place where we could not hear where you guys were. It was like you were like, did they get raptured? Did we like go vape outside and get like we escaped the rapture? And then we went out and we were like running through this field. And I think the security guard was mad about that, too. Because when we did find security twice, when we came, when we did find you guys, not my Navid, the guy that was giving us the tour went. Did you have fun out there? Which means he got walkie-talkied about us running around.

And I was like, we did. We actually did have fun. So would you say, Kylie, your experience doing a museum tour with Annie and Esther? One is very clearly the bad kid, and then the other is the more artsy. I wouldn't call you artsy. You're artsy. You're too high to be in trouble. Esther, I'll post the pics.

It's coming. Esther, you were in a different museum. You were in a museum somewhere very, very, very far away from where we were at. You were in a museum of ham arts. We were in Islam arts. What's ham? I don't know.

Okay. Esther was, where was esther esther was um definitely in the other room with george's baby by the way i will say this george your baby oh no when you can't when you shut up with the baby and it goes the tour guide goes there's a lot of stairs oh they like totally didn't want george's baby to go this is a baby free zone um it was good but there was a lot of um it is a baby free zone because doris duke had a baby that only lived for a day yeah oh they didn't want the baby in there your living baby came and mocked her living baby into a woman's house who had to mourn her baby doris duke did seem it

did seem kind of lonely like i the idea of like collecting things from like other parts of the world and owning a piece of it. There's a lot of controversial art in there because some of it was like sacred from tombs that shouldn't have been taken and they were stolen. But I think that's a conversation around like all museums nowadays is like repatriating or repatriation just in general, like returning things to where like they were originally from. But he was saying like certain things would have been bombed out yeah it would be just nothing yeah do you want

to destroy it um but so they too i would say was relatively successful for us as a group i will say that we didn't make it to the strip club we did not make it to strip club i think esther um called that one off first although we. Although we were all pretty tired. That makes me happy because I was pretty worried. I was like, oh, are they going to be upset? But I was so tired at 830. I fell asleep. Like I passed out. Here's the, this is what I'm learning about vacation.

Okay. You need to jam pack your day with stuff. Todd and I were talking about this on the way over. Jam pack your day with stuff. So you are tired. But if you do want to do something like a strip club, you have to accompany it. You have to attach it to a dinner. So when you home it's still light out it's right before dinner time i don't want to be fat for a strip club but you don't need a lot you don't need a lot i cannot

not do that i've watched it this time bitch i know you're eating patterns now and i've learned listen we worked out together now we're bound we went out to breakfast she wasn't eating the carbs you have to tell me ahead of time we're not eating carbs if i think you're eating the carbs i go carbs first okay if we worked out together that day we're on the same eating pattern right here's the thing you have to eat all the healthy things up front so you're too full to eat the unhealthy things on the back end however i've never had i never had the grilled biscuit i thought maybe we were on a special you went biscuit first on your breakfast we ordered the exact same thing. I feel left out.

Look, we ordered the same thing for breakfast because we worked out together. And I ate the eggs and the meat first. You told us you don't have neck muscles. I didn't know that you could exercise. Esther is still, there's a running theory that Esther has, that she has no neck muscles. You are using my weaknesses against me. Okay, the doctor told me that in private. Esther, you have no neck muscles. You are using my weaknesses against me. Okay? The doctor told me that in private.

Ezra, you have no neck muscles. All of these things that aren't a thing that can possibly happen happen in a private room with this doctor that doesn't exist. Okay? It's Carlos's dad. There's going to be... And we want to thank Carlos's dad for sponsoring this podcast. There's going to be a private room at the Strip Club with your name on it, it little girl and it's just a doctor in there telling you there's things wrong with you that's how you get your jollies off you look like you give a nice lap dance in that outfit you little

you little whore you may be deceived they did i do want to be a little piggy we didn't choose these outfits listen pete got these outfits for us okay under ge I'm offended. Under George's rule. Great job, Pete. And then he labeled them. Who gets what? By the way, I'm the grandma. Fuck you. Ew, your period's showing.

I would have much rather been in that. I would have much rather been in that outfit, Esther. I promise you. I don't know how this... I have the best outfit. Yeah, you do. But I will tell you, they have up your pussy underwear they got me.

So it was supposed to be just this. And it's like in it whoa oh it's inside yeah you know the inside ones i don't think it's supposed to go in no it is there's only a little string it's a string thong that goes into the front annie it's not supposed to go in there. It's true. Wait, you put the thong part up your pussy? It's not. There's not another option. It's just a string. Oh, okay. It's just a string across. It's this pervert Pete, and he's home with his family, his perverted family.

Help me. I got you guys presents. Can I give you guys my presents? What? I didn't know it was the Christmas episode. You did know it was the Christmas episode. I did. Look, I got Christmas Jordans, guys.

I mailed this outfit. Holy fuck. I got these ahead of time. They came in time. I did. Look, I got Christmas Jordans, guys. I nailed this outfit. Holy fuck. I got these ahead of time. They came in time. I put the fucking red laces in. I want a lap dance for you. I'm going to show you. Do you want to see my thing?

Oh, my God. It's in her vagina. It goes in. Let me see, let me see. Annie, that's a medical malfunction. Oh, fuck. You're waiting for, that's a pH imbalance waiting to happen. That's right, baby. I'm gonna get

a beastie yeasty on an island. I'm an island girl. Okay. I wanna go home. Alright, so this is for, I have four presents. I gotta give them in a certain order. Okay. Kalilah, this is for you. Oh my god, yes. Kalilah, show everyone the present.

It's a calendar that says men of the Hawaiian Islands. Oh, I wonder what calendar I'm going to get. Hold on, hold on. This one's for Esther. What is it saying? Girls of the Hawaiian Islands. Okay, honestly, I'm psyched about this.

I have one for George. George, this is one of all the places you can't go because you brought your family with you. You brought your fucking baby with you. We have no vacation. What does it say? He's stuck in a hotel room, raining with his wife. They get up at 4.

They have to get up at 4 a.m. because the baby's on L.A. time. And they have to wait for places to open to eat breakfast. They're starving to death on their own. George is having the number one worst vacation of his life. The first place opens at 6 a.m. and there's a line by 605. Okay, now Carlos,

I got this one for you. I will say that, George. I got this one for Carlos. Carlos also gets the men of the Hawaiian Islands. Carlos, you and I, we're calendar twins. I've been dying to give you those presents. George, I will say this.

He's still looking at it. Carlos gave it a real deep look, I'll tell you that. He really checked that bit out. Carlos, I'm not shy. I like mine. Ooh, look at those titties. But I want to see the guys. I want to look at the guys. Kalilah, have you bagged any of them?

I probably at least four of the 12 on here. Let me take a closer look. This episode is unusable. Why? Let me take a closer look. This episode is unusable. Why? The holiday seasons, or as I like to call it, the holiday seasonal affective disorder times are.

It's depression time, guys. We all regress when we go see our families. Life is hard. You might be at home with your family stressed out. You might be in Hawaii with your coworkers wanting to kill each other. It's hard nonetheless. Regardless, you need BetterHelp. Check out betterhelp.com slash Trash Tuesday.

BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist and connect in a safe and private online environment. It is so convenient and you can start communicating in under 48 hours. You can send a message to your counselor anytime and you'll get timely and thoughtful responses. Plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions, which Annie, maybe you should schedule one for tonight. Yeah, you know what's weird when you guys,

sometimes people are like, it's rude. Annie's looking at her phone. Well, I'm actually texting my therapist, okay? She's journal entrying. I'm letting them know what's going on. Giving them the update. BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed,

which is, come on, guys. You're not going to match with your… It's too hard. I've gone through so many therapists. They've gone through you, Esther. Let's be real. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling, and financial aid is available,

and this service is available for clients worldwide. We want you to start living a happier life today. As a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Trash Tuesday. You guys, Extra is the first debit card that lets you build your credit and earn reward points just like a credit card. I will say that as someone that has recently crawled my butt out of debt, this is really

helpful. This is amazing. Todd uses it. I use it. Today, there are over 100 million Americans who don't want or can't get a credit card. Honestly, that was one. That was me once upon a time. Yes, that was me very recently before this. And I'll tell you, thank you for this because now they are giving me credit cards and I will be needing you again very soon.

This is like I was born to do this ad because when I first started dating my first boyfriend in LA, he didn't have a credit card or a bank account. And I dragged his ass to Chase Bank and I like started a whole fight with all the bank titles. Give this man a bank account. Today, there are over 100 million Americans who don't want or can't get a credit card. Yet there are very few alternatives for establishing your credit other than with a risky credit card. Their mission is to make credit building safer and more accessible for everyone. So there are no credit checks, there is no interest, and Extra spots you and pays themselves back the next business day. So you as a user can connect Extra to your existing bank account,

and then Extra spots you for everyday purchases, and then they auto-pay. As a user, you can auto pay extra on the next business day. So you're not going into debt with them. You're paying them back. They're going to make sure that they get their payment back. At the end of the month, all payments are tallied up and reported to credit bureaus. Users also earn redeemable reward points for every purchase they make. So if you're someone who needs to build credit, but like can't really do it in a risky way,

this is the perfect way for you to dip your toe in and get in the game. You guys can get extra today to start building credit with debit. Go to extra.app slash trash Tuesday and start rebuilding your credit safely with the extra debit card. No interest rates, credit checks, or hidden fees. That's extra.app app slash trash Tuesday. Here's extra.app.app. Slash Trash Tuesday. Here's the little debit card it comes with. Can we talk about the rape room?

Okay, wait. We have such a... What? A lot happened. Esther, you left, okay? You left. You left Annie. Wait, should we talk about Nick? By the way, so many years to say I left.

They literally left me in a different car, but I left. That's so like how you shame the nerd the next day. We were just. You're like, nerd, it was your fault

we ditched you. Well, maybe get the fucking hint, bitch, and stop being such a nerd. We didn't want you leaking your period blood everywhere we were

trying to hang out. I would have. Wait, can I just, about Carlos, he came back to the hotel room last night

and he walked in and I heard the toilet flush and I was like, oh, sorry, did I leave my tampon there he's like yeah you're not supposed to flush tampons twice at least you didn't leave it out have you ever forgotten sometimes I wrap it up and I leave it out have you ever had a guy take it out for you before he has sex with you on your period no that's um I have I had that but it was in Germany when I was 15 of course it'd be in Germany and of course it'd be in Germany and of course she'd be underage

you were 15? we threw it out the window yeah wait have you done that? yeah as an adult not at 15 maybe as a teenager

you're not like squeamish about what they're gonna see no no no not at all why not? they should know about the clots yeah

boys should know it is gross this is the thing when guys are like ew it's gross don't tell us about it it's like no no no it is gross

and you do need to know get to know it touch one it's so much grosser than you think we don't tell you about the diarrhea we keep the diarrhea

a secret I don't poo in front of lovers I know I have a strictly I have a strict open door open bathroom door

policy in my relationships we all know Todd has to make direct eye contact for me for the poop to plop out oh my god Todd ain't that right, baby?

Oh my God. He's watching sports. Wearing his football. He bet on sports. I support this. Annie, how does it feel knowing that your boyfriend and I wear the same shoes? That you wear the same shoes? Do you get turned on around me?

I do think like metaphorically you do wear the same shoes. You are kind of like good to have around, but not fully necessary. You know, it's not. It's a bonus. But it's there. No, you guys both have Yeezys. I like that. I like.

No, anytime you spend money, I'm happy. When you have things that my people have, my rich people have, then. By the way, this is this is the trip. Everyone summed up. Annie just wants all of us to spend our money. Not all of our money. things that my people have my rich people have then by the way this is this is the trip everyone summed up annie just wants all of us to spend all our money not all of our money kalilah is having the worst vacation in my life kalilah this is what's so sad okay i realize what it is with kalilah because i was like she's melancholy like she's i'm talking to her she's annoyed i go it's because this bitch is she's like the movie where they fuck the fish, you know? Which one?

The movie where they fuck the fish at the end. The one, the Guillermo del Toro movie. Yes, the Guillermo del Toro movie where he fucks the fish. That is Kalilah. Kalilah needs to be with the water. She needs to be with the fish. The rain has ruined her life. I haven't been able to fuck fish on this trip.

But you know what I mean? Like, I mean it more like you have a love affair with the ocean. do yeah yeah when we go to skokie i'm gonna ditch you guys for bagels you'll never know where i am we're gonna know where you are at the bagel place oh we're in your parents basement i'm gonna be in your parents room all right let's move we're gonna crate you in your own in your parents house would love to. She's been crated. She feels safe behind a fence screaming. That's a happy place. Let's move on to- Wait, there's a couple things.

Okay, yeah, go ahead. When I showed up to the museum, first of all, the Shangri-La Museum is, it is absolutely gorgeous. It really is like amazing. And Navid was so nice for showing us around. It was really awesome. They have a foundation there.

They were showing us a bunch of new artists that they house there, which by the way, if you can get that position as the artist living at this they have a playhouse doris duke was like there were there's some shady maybe there was some slavery in her family's history stuff like that but other than that if she was being woke some mildly good girl yeah some looting stuff like that she was a woman who liked to spend some money and I can enjoy that I do like that about her but I will say this okay so when I show up to the place Todd and I are driving around we got our own car

convertible Range Rover it's really cute we had the top down once it rained on us but it was worth it anyway so we go um we go to get there and we can't it's like a weird hidden away place it doesn't look like a museum. So we're driving around. There's this guy just like sitting outside in front of the gate. Yeah. And we drive around a couple of times and I'm like, hi, are you? And he goes, said something like, we said your name, Kalilah. And I was like, OK.

So then he's like, I got you something. And he's like giving us stuff. And I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? And he's cute. He's attractive enough that I'm not like I haven't screamed stranger danger too hard right but Todd and I are not getting out of the car okay he gives me crab he gives me crab legs chips yeah flavored chips which is really a thoughtful amazing gift but to come from his strangers it was surprising okay so you thought he was a stalker that just happened I went to Kalilah say what time we were coming here or something on something oh you were scared why did i he didn't bring me a present

did you guys both get presents we both got gift bags from nick yeah what was in it um he got me filipino treats he got me shoes um he but he got her a bunch of stuff like birthday what did you get i got crab leg potato chips okay let's just but but listen hey do you remember that carrot thing you refused to eat yeah he brought you dim sum bitch he did he brought you and the dim sum was so good where was that place i want to go back to that place it's in chinatown it was so good anyway so he brought us all these gifts and stuff like thank you could easily have been poisoned i am looking at him and finally i just text the group i go who is this man i'm speaking to and kylie goes oh that's my friend nick the jeweler i go oh nick the jeweler i go okay because he was like let's smoke weed i got i thought you

were making a joke who is this man i'm talking to and i thought it was todd oh that's funny like she's fine yeah no no but he was great He ended up being really cool and hung out with us. He's the best. He was great. And Nick, you did not bring his jewelry. It's weird to be a jeweler that doesn't bring jewelry for us. I want it. Can you set it up? The whole time you kept telling him like, look, thank you for the gifts, but where's

the jewelry? I want jewelry. And I stand by this, Nick. What's Nick's Instagram? N underscore Potash. N underscore Potash. Follow him. It's so good.

You will be seeing his jewelry on our bodies soon. Right, Nick? Right, Nick? It was really cool. But you should check him out. Check out the museum. We did have a lot of fun. But anyway, so then we go to another museum after we drop Esther off.

Nick hops in the car. It's the four of us. I had no idea they were going out to another museum. Amazing. Love it. Keep carry on. It would have been fun with her there too. Yeah, it would have.

No one told me. You went in the car with George and his family. I rode home with a crying baby. With a baby car, yeah. I'm sorry, the baby rode home with a crying baby. Let's be clear. In one of the rooms there was an exhibit. Oh, now I get to hear about

how wonderful the museum was it was honestly it was amazing it was amazing yeah it should have been called the slug museum because it was right up our alley we went into a room my friend had an exhibit there my friend she's an artist her name is nicole naone she's amazing and there's a geodesic dome there and it was a whole exhibit basically to around the Mauna Kea protest. It was beautiful. It was moving. It was really beautiful. There was VR.

We did virtual reality. We had virtual reality. But there was in the other part of the room. We were at the same time at that one. That was cute. Well, Annie and I bonded over something and it's not a good thing that we bonded over. Wait, I feel like we need to like end nicole's part because nicole's part was so good so nicole we went to this dome and you can see the virtual reality of this land it was really beautiful and big island yeah it's

yeah well i guess that's what i loved it yeah well i was at the big island last week so but we did that i know without us and this is your payback but we did that after we went that was a palate cleansing after we went into another room that i would like to call the rape room what without me without you we went into the rape room so there was a there was a a rape log where you like log your rapes i mean it couldn't have been more before you enter a room there's a book there where women people have talked about when they've been violated, whatever, whatever. Or what they've witnessed, which is kind of our podcast. I was like, you're ripping off of us.

But Annie goes in there and there's like a thousand flowers around. It's really beautiful. It's a red light. And Annie's like, I think I've been unraped. It's unraping me. And then we went. So then we went and saw the land. But I was looking into the distance thinking there

may be like a little raping happening in the vr after what we've been through they also had a tent they had a homeless person come in and recreate their camp inside the museum yeah so then later when our friend nick missed his trip back to hawaii i was like there is a tent in the museum you can probably sleep in yeah Nick, where's the jewelry? Where is the jewelry, Nick? He's like, it would have been so weird if I brought you guys jewelry. It's like, no, Nick. Not at all.

It would be weird. Not at all. It's actually weird you're a jeweler and you brought us not jewels. Oh, how about when he gave me the weed instead of you? I watched through the windshield. Wait, that was the gift he got you. It was the weed. No,ie took it

he said it was for you apologized profusely oh my god it was for me that was the gift for you was the weed oh this is crazy and he came over she goes that weed was for me and i'm like and i was literally i'm sitting in the car like this you guys have i ever treated esther like that have i ever have i ever treated esther like this i'm shaking. I'm shaking. I'm so sorry, ma'am. It's for you. I'm so sorry, ma'am. I gave it right back to you. I was like, I need something soft to hit her on the head with.

Listen, that's not what happened, but that's way funnier. No, it's okay. I don't smoke it anyway. No, we're apologizing. You were high and then you had the paranoia of edibles. That is not true. I watched her from, here's what happened. I watched him give me the weed.

He walked back over to Annie he said something to Annie and Annie goes uh uh and she looks up at me and I'm like no it's yours ma'am she held you up at gunpoint I saw you go uh uh

and then march over and I'm like march over like the grudge shoulders first did I army crawl over I was shocked I was floored

I was knocked to the ground my knees were weak when I found out that he gave the joints to Esther and not me I fell to the floor and I army crawled to get what was mine

just a moment before George and Carlos had witnessed me getting in the car with a big smile on my face. Guys, I got this weed for us. And then I go, ooh, I'm scared, I'm scared, I'm scared. Yeah, no, Esther wanted to smoke weed with George's baby. You would have lost your mind on our car ride over there.

Because the baby was sleeping, so George... Oh, we couldn't talk. Well, not only could we not talk um the the sounds that we're playing were baby mozart so that baby could stay asleep and then you fucked up you made a big mistake and i remember thinking to having a moment to myself i'm like yes this is the hawaiian trip i have dreamed of my whole life it's just for george to fuck this up more it's so crazy it's like george's wife has been trapped in a hotel yeah in the pouring rain with their kid where they could just be at home in the pouring like if i sunny at home too

she could just be having a regular life george is like no we're going on a vacation it'll be a work vacation be fun and then nothing he's been able to do nothing. Esther. What up? How many free trial subscriptions. So many. End up costing you hundreds. A lot. That you don't even know about.

It's bad. Honestly, Esther, you're supposed to be managing this for me because it's wild. It's out of control. I signed up for something the other day. I went, oh, no. It's just the fact that we have to remember to unsubscribe in a week I love true but it just reminded me that I forgot to end my subscription for a plant app you put it on the plant and it tells you if you need to water it or not I have one plant I did it one time I found out

what the plant was called how much to water it forgot to I spent $72.99 for one year of it for one that hurts but true bill saved me from doing it again no i agree i i love true bill it is definitely like saving me a lot of money true bill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions you don't need want or simply forgot about like all three of us and on average people save up to 720 a year with true billill. That's ridiculous. They're at a one, okay? And it's at the end. Because companies make subscriptions hard to cancel, Truebill makes it incredibly simple. Just link your accounts and Truebill will cancel your unwanted subscriptions in one tap. And your Truebill concierge is there when you need them to cancel unwanted subscriptions so

you don't have to. You guys don't fall for subscription scams like all of us have. Start canceling today at Truebill.com slash Trash Tuesday. Go right now. Truebill.com slash Trash Tuesday. It could save you thousands a year. Truebill.com slash Trash Tuesday. Okay, who isn't like extremely stressed out around the holidays? I feel great and at ease but it's because of caliper cbd honestly between orchestrating travel plans and thinking about seeing my family like i need help i need a little help yeah and i'm a hostess like the amount of work i host my family for christmas that's about 25 people I usually have to find a caterer for all of these things.

You guys, it's stressful. You got to call your mom to cater for it. Yeah, I got to call my mom. That is hard to have to call your mom. The holidays can be a little less jolly than we'd like. Between orchestrating travel plans, herding the kids around, and pulling off all the shopping in time, we could use a bit more of that all is calm, all is bright vibe we hear so much about. With Caliper CBD, you'll feel better before you've finished your cocoa.

So with most CBD, it's actually impossible to know when you'll actually feel the full effects. But Caliper CBD powder acts fast, and I mean really fast, as in 30 times faster than CBD oil, giving you all the benefits of CBD in just 10 minutes. In fact, Caliper is the only clinically proven CBD brand on the market. And because it's a dissolvable powder instead of an oil, it mixes completely into any food or drink with no grassy taste or oily residue. This holiday season, be your merriest with Caliper CBD. Get 35% off your first order with promo code TRASH at trycaliper..com slash trash try it risk-free

for 30 days if you don't love it they'll give you a full refund that's trycaliper.com slash trash don't forget promo code trash for 35 off your first order the only reason we really want to go to the strip club is to see carlos and george at the strip club not carlos i've never seen you at the strip club he gets does he get boners he gets so professional he gets into like carlos no he like knows what he's doing he's like i made it rain on stage i immediately went to the atm he took out a bunch of money we know you didn't make it rain with semen because you have to have a boner he makes it wait what's the boner issue because we can't give have a boner for that. Wait, what's the boner issue? Because we can't give you a boner. There were four cameras on me.

Try it now. Come here. Plop your penis on my hand now. This is Iowa, baby. Time is money. The cameras are rolling. Will Hawaii do the trick? The crew's gotta go home. George has a baby. We can't be here forever. Wow. Okay. I love you. No, this got turned into... Listen. This just became a salt. Oh my god, do you know what I realized? Do you know what I realized? Get up in front of my

camera. Do you know what I realized? Do you know what I realized? Get up in front of my camera. Do you know what I realized? When you go, listen. I don't know why there's an issue about whether I can get a wreck or not. I did not fly you out here for you to cover my fucking camera. You're on the wide. Who gives you a hand job?

There's one rule, Carlos. You don't cover Esther's camera. You're on the, there's a wide angle. You cover her check, part of the check. You cover her from the sun. You cover her with a blanket when she's cold. You do not cover her camera.

Thank you. Sorry, Carlos. The commenters, relax. It's just, I have really, really baby soft hands and I don't think that any penis should really miss this experience of my soft hands. That's all I'm saying.

Everyone deserves it. It's on camera. It's daytime. There's experience of my soft hands. That's all I'm saying. Everyone deserves it. It's on camera. It's daytime. There's like a husband back there. It's a whole thing. Did you not want to get a boner looking at the husband? He's hot. It's so much pressure.

No, don't worry. This is a bit, everybody. It's not a bit. I just feel like seeing before you, these are actors. These are trained crisis actors. None of this is real. No emotions are real like seeing before you these are actors these are trained crisis actors no none of this is real

no emotions are real here but I will tell you I think I realized that last night when I went in I think you can't really unrape anyone and I think what I learned

was even though it took my rape away it gave it to Carlos yeah I need a lawyer in the Honolulu area I felt very raped last night

but I feel like these outfits have raped us yeah fuck you Pete what the fuck Pete what the hell I'm a lawyer in the Honolulu area. I felt very rape last night. But I feel like these outfits have raped us. Yeah. Fuck you, Pete. What the fuck? What the hell? I'm comfortable. But actually, I look so cute.

There's something that I wanted to talk to you guys about, get your opinion on. So I read this thing that people don't actually choose partners. Our bacteria chooses our partners. So it's like if we have a bacteria match, like what's in our mouth, that's who will determine what we're attracted to so basically have you ever been with a guy you really really like but he's constantly giving you utis and it's constantly you're feeling very beastly yeah homeless julian homeless julian well that was that because of a hygiene problem or just julian was he like well he was uncut and i don't

think he was uh doing enough of the baby he was he was storing some he I don't think he was doing enough of the baby. He was storing some fancy cheese. He was like an Esther. What? I was just trying to listen and just be innocent. You are an innocent. Because I've never had one where I'm repeatedly getting... Oh, I have. I've had partners...

I'm so high. I love when Esther's high. Can we get high? Can we smoke some weed? Yeah, we can. We love when Esther's high. Can we get high? Can we smoke some weed? Yeah, we can. Wait. Okay, I understand. We have to talk about this. We have to talk about body count.

No, no. Before body count. About the bacteria thing. Okay. I want to know, like, are we attracted to people that smell like us, taste like us? Yeah. Don't give us constant, like. I don't know if they smell like us because wouldn't I be attracted to my twin brother

if it was like us? It has to be a little different, right? It has to be complimenting, but it can't be the same. Right, you're right, you're right. Because we're not trying to bang our hot-ass twin brother. He looks just like me. Just kidding. But I wouldn't do ecstasy.

Would you be so upset if Esther and I, I know he's married, but if we just happened to accidentally sleep with your twin brother? I actually would love that. Really? If my sister-in-law was cool with it. That creeps me. I'm like love that. Really? If my sister was cool. That creeps me. I'm like, ugh. That's like incest to me.

What? For you to hook up with my brother? Yeah, that's like creepy to me. I think you would think my brother was hot because you are a little attracted to me. You are. You have been for years. Look at her.

She's like, I'm busted. Shit, what do I do? I just laugh. Pretend like it's a joke. I'm high. Oh, no, I'm high. She's like, I'm busted. Shit, what do I do? I just laugh, pretend like it's a joke. I'm high. Oh, no, I'm high. She's driving. What's that?

Is that you driving? You're back on the big island? Eating edibles, driving, eating pills, ready to go to sleep forever? Now that everyone knows, she's eating herself out. Oh, no. She's good at yoga. You don't have any floating ribs it seems so you probably can't eat yourself out i cannot eat myself out you freak are flexible you are did we not did

she not have any floating ribs like us she's like so tucked in here i guess i'm just the perfect woman can you try there's not a chance there's no way no i can't let me try i wish she's gonna be able to do it. Yeah. Oh, you're very close to being able to do it. Way closer than me. But that was a long way. You got to push my head in, Annie. What if she dies? Give me an assist.

What if I broke her neck accidentally and she died? I'm out of here. That was what you were doing? I've known. Escaping? Okay, so I don't know. I mean, I'm trying to think if I've had a boyfriend

that smelled really bad they probably wouldn't become my boyfriend I think what's prompting me prompting me to ask this question is that

I've been with dudes that are just so complimentary like my vagina feels amazing after and I've been with dudes where it's like

no matter how in love I was with them we just weren't sexually like our bacterias were not matching well together where I've constantly gotten like just you know the feminine the jings you know i i look i like where you're going with this but i actually think that you're just mixing two different things that are happening like i think that the guys that you were hooking up with were the bad yuckies there were just hygiene issues like you i don't think so

i don't think you gotta pee after sex you gotta wipe you know during sex yeah i think our bacteria chooses our partners guys i really do stand firm in that i think there is something there where it's like i know you love him but this is not it like you are not complimenting each other's flora but don't you think that that's just for children? That's just because your DNA is supposed to match to make the healthiest child? Who knows?

But I mean, look, we could just write it out. If I think I love someone so much, I'm just going to commit to a life of just beasties. Beasties, yeah. I don't know.

It's to have a daily cottage cheese. I don't know that I would want that. The part of yeast infection that sucks is when it itches inside you. It almost feels better when, you know what I mean? It's like, nevermind.

Oh, what when they, they go in and jam it in there and it just itches on the inside. Look, Esther's getting really happy about this. Oh my God. I was not.

Look at her. She's rubbing. Look at you. Oh, she's fingering. yeast infection. Ooh, do did I buy your yeast infection? Oh, do you use it as lube? Do you use the cottage cheese as lube? All right.

I have rights. I have rights as a human. Where's her bell? You stupid bitch. You had the bell the whole time? She already rang it once earlier. I don't even hear your bell anymore. It's like a dog whistle, but the opposite.

I've become immune to her. Only other dogs can hear me. Oh, because you got the ugly outfit no esther's body is it's a weird thing that's happening yeah i think you've always had a bigger hiding thing that's happening but your body is just hitting a really good thank you good strike wow thank you i think you're peaking okay but you have to coast it keep it going yeah i'm not letting her come back down i started peaking. But you have to coast it. Keep it going. Never come back down. I started peaking at 30. Probably 36.

Let me see when I feel like I was starting to hit a peak. Probably 28. But then I feel like I've upheld it. I've upheld the peak. I've had some lulls there. I feel like I come back down and I peak again. So I'm like Olamana. I just have multiple peaks.

How do you- Peek and duck is what we say. What's the best way to induce a peak? I think a good life shake up. A life shake up. Like a bad heartache, a breakup. True. A friend breakup, a lover breakup.

True. A betrayal. Yeah. You need a new lease on life. Yes. You need something that's going to shake you up so hard that you shake up the dust i had this when this year oh yes you did that's why yeah that's why you're hitting uh your third the greatest thing that ever happened to you

this is my mission statement in life that was like these are the best things no but it shifts you in the right way the The trauma of the year. And then what I did. When you become stronger, you learn what you can get through. Annie, we had something that we were just going to talk about. The count, body count. Oh, yes, the body count. Yes, yes. This bitch, we're sitting around a pond. By the way, everyone in Hawaii, I'm on a pond.

I'm on a rock. I'm on a piece of coral. Actually, oh, my God. In that house, the woman took the coral from the ocean and put it in the. Daisy Duke, what's her name? Doris Duke. Doris Duke. Ooh, it's a banana break.

You made that joke. We can talk about the body count over banana break. Okay, perfect timing. Do you want to have a pussy eating contest? I'll eat that later. I'll have my banana now. Do you want to have a papaya pussy eating contest? Yeah, come on. Here.

Okay, we're going to talk about body counts. Okay. I hate that term. I feel like the young kids are using it. What does it mean? It's like how many people you've been with and mine is disappointingly low. That's what that is. Wait, she says this to me last night at the Koi Pond, right?

She goes, she's like, you know, I realized my body counts like surprisingly low. Now that is a trigger warning for me. When someone says that to me, I hate when my ho friends come out as like only having had sex with like seven guys. It makes me so mad where I'm like, I have been telling you everything. Assuming this is like when you didn't eat the fucking muffin, bitch. This is like when you didn't have the biscuit. We're supposed to be a goddamn team.

Anyway, I thought we were on the same page. Wait, here's what I want to know. Last night you guys were at a koi pond talking about how many guys you fucked without me. That's weird. That's weird. You looked like one of the fish. You were there, Esther.

I just think that's weird and you should have the conversation again right now in front of me to watch while I eat my banana I mean let's be real Esther we would have invited you would have said no but you just wanted the original invite yeah that's big tfti energy again Esther I forgot what's that thanks for the invite oh fuck no I'm cool we are on a trip together yeah we should be I've invited you to several things but look at Annie getting off Oh, fuck. No. I'm cool. We are on a trip together. Yeah. We should be invited. I've invited you to several things.

But look at Annie getting off. Look at Annie loving that I'm feeling left out and wanting to like make me. Make you feel better? Yeah. Oh. So you were swimming in the koi pond as Annie and I were talking about our body counts. You're a beautiful little fish in the pond. And yeah, I think that mine is sadly a lot lower than I would like. But it's not seven, thank God.

It's not seven. It's an acceptable number for me. No, it's in the upper 30s. And I think that. That's okay. She wasn't a blackout drunk. But I. But Nicole was with me.

Her friend, Nicole, we were both like, I don't remember. But it wasn't that. It can't be that much. But it's like, I don't we were both like, I don't remember. But it wasn't that. It can't be that much. But it's like, I was drunk. I don't remember. I kind of wanted that level of I don't even know. I can't even count. Like, that's what I want.

But that is, you're almost there. You just didn't drink that much. No, I think it's because I was always in a long-term relationship. So I would burn a lot of rubber in between. Like, if I was single for six to eight months, then I would be like, oh. Then I would try to make up for it by being with with like multiple people in one day but then i just never got to that you know i don't think mine's that much more than yours i just don't remember the number fuck all right it's around there yeah but anyways that was a conversation 20 to 40 and you

know what right when i said that esther your little fish mouth came out of the pond and we fed you and you were a happy little fish. Thank you. What's your body count, Esther? It's not high. It's just all. You're like, oh, really? They're very questionable. All of her count is question marks. We like Dave.

And then the rest we go, what? What? That guy? Really? Him him i forgot about that one i can promise you i've fucked way uglier guys than you i don't know that ugly is the issue ugly is like because i hate my really hideous fat disgusting ugly scumbag ex-boyfriend but it's because he was mean to my mom it's's not because he was fat. Oh, that's the worst. It was because he was mean to my mom. What did he say?

He, well, two times. One time he made her cry. We were on vacation. He was just yelling that the internet wasn't working but it was like an act of God. There had been a hurricane and that's why the internet was down

so he was like screaming. He was screaming at the universe. No, he was mad at her. Oh. He was like, why would you have us come here with no internet? She's like,

I didn't know it wasn't going to have internet. I didn't know about the hurricane. She started crying at her oh he was like why would you have us come here with no internet she's like i didn't know it wasn't gonna have internet i don't know what the hurricane she started crying oh and then he did it again we went back to my mom got her ovaries out and so i went to phil i was living in new york so i went to philadelphia yes i that's actually what i got injected into my breasts that's why that's what you have here she has ovaries as titties but um no it was quiet to see it she showed me pic but so we went to go like i went to go take care of her and he was like i'll come with you gonna study the ovaries that you came out of like what did they do no they're over those ovaries let's move on from this bitch

i used it today well i used it night. You know what I'm talking about. Manscaped. I stole my boyfriend's Manscaped. You guys, if you didn't buy your man Manscaped for Christmas, do it now. It's not too late. It is the best thing you could do for yourself, actually. It's a good stocking stuffer. Oh, boy.

Manscaped created the ultimate groin and body trimmer by focusing on creating a comfortable grooming experience. Their fourth generation trimmer features a cutting edge ceramic blade to reduce grooming accidents. So we all know the men in our lives need our help. Manscaped will make it safer for them. I feel like it's helping us, honestly. And we're fine with hair.

We just need that hair a little bit better groomed. It can't be between my teeth, okay? I have floss already. Just make it like respectable before, you know. And not just even down there, up here too. Take care of your beards, guys. And your weird neck hairs, we know. Say goodbye to beard hair around the sink because the trimmer is waterproof, Esther. Did you know that? Oh, thank you. Time to get him to shave in the shower. And while he's in there, make sure he has the new ultra premium body wash from manscaped to leave him feeling and smelling good their body wash is the perfect addition to his self-care routine it's also infused with aloe vera and sea salt to keep skin feeling clean nice

and moisturized i do think it's a super thoughtful gift for a guy because it's like self-care but it's masculine um and also it's like hey this is this is for us later. Yeah, we're going to bang. You guys can get 20% off and free shipping with the code trash at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use our code trash. Upgrade his 2022 self-care routine with Manscaped. He was mean to my mom again. He went, he was was like i'll make it up to her and then he was mad that she wouldn't watch tv a tv show he wanted to watch oh gross she was already watching babyish no he's a disgusting fat slob he's dumb he's an idiot he shoves food

back to my ugly fucks yeah um i'm yeah i think that you cannot possibly beat the amount of ugly dudes mine so can i just show you how ugly this guy is she knows how ugly is yeah he's he's number one the ugliest i'm not gonna i don't he lost weight his face would be ugly this is the christmas episode i just want to remind everyone and we're gonna do the jingle bells of the past now all of a sudden they don't want to talk about their exes. I finally have a good story about a gross fat ex. I was in the way. And now they're like, oh, we don't want to call them today. No, we don't

want to talk about them today. This is the jingle balls. You guys now want to be Christmas present? All of a sudden this bitch has been in Christmas past the whole time. Yeah, I truly honestly have been. And how do you feel about that? Do you feel over it? What? Your past? You're done with it?

I got unraped last night. This was, I wish Esther was there. Thanks. For the unraping. It really was a magical moment between Annie and I, I have to say.

We didn't log our rape in that book though. We didn't log our rapes. It's like, you can, we should have just put the, well, we'd still be there today.

Oh my God. We'd still be there today. Oh, did it? I was like, we're going to be here for a while. We need a scroll. But what if we just left the URL to the podcast?

You want to hear our rape stories? We got 41 episodes. We have some clam decays for Christmas. Clam decays? Here's what I want to, do you know what I want to start though? I want to start on the show eating good food i want to start getting weird foods that are from different places and highlighting how good they taste i want or they have to be alive did you switch places with esther that's what she's been saying since day one no but she doesn't want to no she wants to eat cheetos

no esther's like i've never tried cheetos that was esther's idea oh that's to do an unbagging of the chip we've all eaten i'm talking about like okay nick our jeweler who's going to be giving us jewelry soon very good nice expensive jewelry for free and we're going to wear it and tag him um our jeweler friend he did weird research and got like kalilah her favorite snack. Oh my God. He got me sweet corn. How good were the sweet corn?

I ate all of them. I'm sorry. It's okay. He got me Choco Star. He got me the greatest like Filipino hits, like the snacks from my childhood. Really good. But that's the time. You ate them all?

I ate them all. She really did eat my whole bag of sweet corn. Let me tell you, did I eat them all? You ate them all. No. Oh no, Esther's favorite place on earth. You ate them all. No. Oh, no. Esther's favorite place on earth. I ate cheese.

Did you go shopping yesterday? Not at all. No, I'm so- You brought that puffy jacket? Yeah. Esther has the fullest winter jacket. She's the only one that thought it might snow in Hawaii. Also, shout out to Annie for drawing my abs.

These abs are courtesy of- They've worn out a little bit. Oh, God. Are they gone? They look good, though. No, they're good. They've worn out a little bit. Oh God, are they gone? They look good though. Okay. Her torso is so much longer than mine. Drawing her abs,

I really realized like our anatomy is quite. I have giant protruding ribs that look like titties. So do I, but my ribs start just lower than yours. Yeah, they've always. You have just a longer,

yeah, you got your torso going. What do you think it'll be like if we all go to a strip club? Like who's going to be doing what? Who's getting to dance? I have a feeling it's never going to happen. No, no, no. How it's never gonna happen no no no no no okay can i just say something things are going to happen i just think what happened here is we thought we all thought someone else was in the lead and no one was in the lead and that's what happened so um george you are fired it's so

weird for you to be here with your replacement carlos but carlos you are now the sole producer of this podcast but the first thing about being our producers you have to get a boner on camera right now just kidding please don't um please no no no but i think that that's what happened i think in the future we now have plans and we need to go places we need to like have we i know we have like slugs out here that want to like show us their hotel or show us their like cool excursions and stuff like that. We need to like plan it with our people.

Well, here's the thing. When it's raining this hard, it's also hard to hike. Of course, yeah. It's not very, so it's like basically all of our plans were sort of- We're loose hiking plans.

Yes, we're loose. You know, it's very weather dependent but okay so strip club back to strip club we're definitely going we unsuccessfully went to one last night or successfully

did not even bother to go to one last night we just didn't go we didn't plan it we didn't do it it needs to be like the car's picking us up at this time

we're going what time is good because 9pm people are already getting tired that's too late but strip clubs don't get like

popping right to like 10, 30, 11 we do need to just get like popping right to like 10 30 we do need to just get up you need to take adderall or something bitch she's god she can't take adderall or do we can we give you a nap are you a nap person but after you're asleep you're not coming you're not getting i can hold you in my arms and walk you into the vaginas and boobs i think that would stay up till 11 no i can do this i have offered you to carry you in my kangaroo kangaroo pouch this whole time oh that's actually so cute will you yes my little randy bag i wish i feel like i need to use the

bathroom go use the bathroom go go do you think your period's leaking yeah in a santa suit on our friends it's a great color to accidentally period on esther okay cram a tam Bring it back to show us We'll blur it out Carlos go get her tampon Carlos take her tampon out So I just When we go to the strip club This is my like Mission statement For the strip club

When I go to strip clubs I get very uncomfortable I think I don't like Lean in I'm like There's a vagina on me Like I'm never I want to like

Get a lap dance And I want to Lean into it I'm a Carlos He's a pro He knows what he's doing At the strip club I've been to lots of strip lap dance and I want to lean in. I'm a Carlos. He's a pro. He knows what he's doing at the strip club. I've been to lots of strip clubs. I can't wait to see Carlos in a confident position for once.

Annie, here's a trick. You just have to assume it's just like any old bar. That's what I do. I walk into the strip club and it's just like a boardroom meeting. I think it's like I get self-conscious or something, but I'm not. With us, you'll be fine. Wait, I have to say at the strip club last time,

Esther did witness one of the black, like bodyguard dudes. Give me a fist bump. Like two hours in. He was just like, I knew you cause you're a regular. It was in New York, but he just knew that I got it. Or was that him going,

I'll give you my lap dance in the back. He's like, you can have sex in this. He marked me with poison. Here's a fucking fun topic that George wants me to talk about. What? I want to talk about what we were talking about before, too. Okay, there's this tennis player.

His name, I don't know how to pronounce his last name. I think it's Nick Kyrgios. This tennis player is taking a career hiatus because he says he gets too horny on the court. I have that problem at my job too what when you're in court when you're a professional court watcher she just sits in the audience slip sliding around gushing i actually it's funny you said that because i had to stop playing tennis because of the opposite problem. I was so dry down there. I was chafing.

Todd, literally, we were playing tennis. And one time I was just like, we have to go now. My thighs are bleak. Like I was like in so much pain because my tennis skirt had ridden up. And so I think I need to get a little horny before we go in so I can slosh slosh down on those thighs. Wait, but weren't you tennis girl for a year? I was tennis girl for about one month. I was around for that.

I didn't know. Why are you acting like you, this is surprising, you're just remembering. I didn't remember any like extra crust flying around. Just the regular amount? Flying crust, that's what they say. Kalilah, have you ever gotten too horny to work? Okay, here's the thing about women.

We don't have spontaneous arousal like men. Men could look like a fucking banana tree and then just have a boner. I pulled over once and had to masturbate on the side of the road once. You have? Were you on Molly's? No, but it was a weird time. I was also living in the car. That was when I was living in the car.

It was a lot more convenient. You were jerking off at home. Yes, I at home you were at home okay so that makes sense no i was looking at my sublime poster over the passenger side window i'm all reactive arousal like you have to do so you have yes i feel like something and like no that's not me what do you need the person to do i need the person to here's what i really because i'm really like a squat kind of and lean back with their head on a shell here's what i'm really bad i'm getting horny i'm really bad with um eye contact so when someone knows how to look right oh my god tickle huh tingy that'll get me good eye contact good eye contact well like strong like wait we've talked about the lean on here

have we talked about the lean i cannot get comfortable on the bench i'm on it always makes me soaking wet what's the lean when they lean in they they lean it's from i think it's from the 90s it's from jordan catalano but it's the lean in they lean into you they they take your personal space you're against like a locker or something you know and they lean into you and they're hovering over you and they say something not sexual like what like they'll just be like you have paper clips did you have a paper clip and then you're like oh it's really yeah because it'll be too much if this doesn't make sexual you're like you're already in my space wait so earlier while we were taking a second banana break wait we're taking a second banana break by the way because you're like a second you're um

cavendish bananas is that what your outfit is are you just would you like a second banana break. Because George, like, your Cavendish bananas. Is that what your outfit is? Are you judging me? Would you like a second one, little girl? You leaned in. I hope it just transmitted COVID to you. Wait, what did I miss? Why do we need a second banana break? Here, here's why.

Your Cavendish bananas are not on brand with Island Life. So Cara has some real. Cara has some special bananas for us. Oh, we need a second banana break because Cara has special bananas that. Well, they're not special. They're just, you know what I mean? They're local bananas. us. We need a second banana break because Kara has special bananas that I was interested in. Well, they're not special. They're just, you know what I mean? They're local bananas. Yeah.

But they are special. Oh, my God. While we're waiting, let's give you guys the clamdy canes. It's a candy clamdy. Why do you sound like you're on Price is Right? That sounds like it has chlamydia in it. And how much for the clamdy clam? Is it clam or chlamydia?

This is special for the- Oh, my God. Look at these little munchkins in the philippines we call this what is that it's better banana it's very sweet it's white oh it's so cute ester doesn't want it what is that it just sounds if you don't say it right it sounds fully racist if you don't say it i'll teach you Dan. Dan. Yeah, got it. Dong dong. Oh, that sounds racist. Dong dong ding dong. This is Esther's penis, no? They are sweeter.

Have you never seen? Oh my God, it's Esther's penis. It's all chode. I love a chode. Esther, congrats on your penis size. It's so cute. It is sweeter. It tastes kind of like a grape. Oh, I smell it.

These are my favorite bananas. It's good. Can we get these now for banana breaks? Yeah, we need them imported. They're hard to find at home. George. That won't be a problem for Mr. George. George, small bananas

only. We're not coming to work. I got replaced by Carlos earlier this episode, so now it's his problem. Here we go. Carlos his problem is the short squat things. what were we talking about in the corner in secret over there that we wanted to talk about over here when you when you bang a guy and he brings his the energy from like what he learned like he brings his moves and he

brings moves that are detailed to another yeah right you learn those on some other bitch's body whatever you learn that you have to curtail for another woman is not going to work on us you have to start from scratch you have to start you got another woman is not going to work on us. You have to start from scratch. You have to start new. You got to get to know our bodies. We're very different. What might have blown her mind is quite likely will not blow my mind. No, it'll make me blow my head.

Off my body. Away from you. And the direction away from you. Okay. I guess what I learned on Kalilah, I won't bring it up to you, Annie. You're finishing on me? I thought it was the open mic Oh my god I almost spit into my banana

And there was a fly eating it Oh Esther Wait a fly that came around Was it from the inside of the banana? It wasn't even a fly If it comes from the outside in Just know it wasn't even a fly if it comes from the outside just know that this camera angle you have something good later oh my god she's getting cocky that's cocky behavior a fly landed on your banana and you scream that's not good enough

i just can't imagine you could ever really survive in anywhere tropical because flies are a thing esther look i don't do this you do this. You do this. You just do this. The problem is I'm not scared of flies. It's just I almost bit the fly and I don't want to eat a fly. I know you girls love eating flies. I don't like eating flies.

She's a refugee. She had to eat flies, bitch. You can't say that. I'm a refugee. That's so mean to say to her. And she's in her and she's in her I had to eat flies stance.

That's her refugee I had to eat flies um stance that's her refugee id flies dance she's in it look at her oh my god that is so fucking funny it looks like a look she's just there ready to catch one she's hungry it's protein for the day she needs her protein for the day so she can keep climbing i ate two bananas today can i get paid twice esther thinks there's like a payment tree there's like a big guy i get paid for two episodes today. Can I get paid twice? Esther thinks there's like a payment tree. There's like a big guy and a tree. Can I get paid for two episodes today? Did you see how big Arlene's banana tree or money tree was in her house?

Oh my God. Arlene's money tree was huge. I've gotten money trees. They've never lasted more than a week. That's why her money doesn't last more than a week. But you know what? I should pay someone to water it. That's the most gangster money move.

To pay someone to just come to water my one money tree. So your money tree loses you money? No, it would gain me money. Spending money, you got to spend money to make money. It's true. You don't know nothing. I'm going to teach you. I'm going to show you the world.

So I know everything. I don't know nothing. I know. That means I know everything. Two negatives equals a positive. Someone punch her in the face now. Carlos, you're my handler. Smack her. Slap her in the face now. Carlos, you're my handler. Smack her.

Slap her with your dick. What if when Carlos was bringing his dick towards you, a fly landed on him? Would you freak out? Why would he bring his dick towards me? Because I told him to. I would freak out for other reasons than the fly. He's our producer.

The smell. Congrats on your new job, by the way, Carlos. He's been assaulted by the three female stars. Carlos, would you say pick up your mic, please? Two and a half. I want to make this very clear for you guys. He is our crisis actor. And we should probably get this out the way.

Did you feel at all violated when I tried to- Yeah. Also our producer, so get with it. Did you at all feel violated- He'm a crisis actor yeah also our producer so get with it did you at all feel violated crisis when on my birthday when i um touched your penis from afar with a wooden cane yeah you felt violated and annie is surprised that i didn't immediately get hard from that just okay so i'm surprised you didn't get one of esther's lawyers on board trying to get some moolah out of this money train wait so what are you asking me if i'm surprised you didn't get one of Esther's lawyers on board. Trying to get some moolah out of this money train. Wait, so what are you asking me?

I'm asking you, like, what were your feelings? Did you feel at all resentful towards me, violated? Did you want to call HR? No, I didn't know we had HR, but I did. You are HR. We are. No, actually, HR is hand rub, and that's what we got. No, I didn't feel resentful until, like, I read comments,

and people were like, are you okay? I didn't know why, you guys. We don't like sissies, okay? No, Carlos has been one of my best friends for 10 years. I think people don't realize that. He's not just the intern. No, the people saying that are guys that are mad that they think it's unfair that rapists are getting in trouble for raping women. And they go like, if a guy did that to a girl,

it's like, well, we've been right so many times. He's a sex worker. He's a sex worker. He's a sex worker. He leads us to the strip club. Yes.

You are, you're, you're a leader. Should we name the podcast three sixes? I think we, not three sixes. I think I'm sticking to hot holes. Hot holes.

Skullfuck, it's a faith-based podcast. We have three good options. Should we change it or keep it the same? Because honestly, Skullslugs is a faith-based podcast. We have three good options. Should we change it or keep it the same? Because honestly, Skull Slugs, no. Skull Slugs is a faith-based podcast or not? Nobody said Skull Slugs. No one said that, George.

Comment section. Hit us with Skull Slugs. Let them know. Let them know what you love. All right, guys. I think... Wait, can we just say the three? The three ones. We have three sixes. If if you get that it's because we're sixes and also six six six esters

is voting for skull fucking uh faith no that's mine so mine is skull fuck the face a faith-based podcast she got my number one i don't care bring back, well, if you come into my hotel room. That's what Carlos is sleeping in a real bath of blood. Carlos is like, how did it get up into the corner? Swinging. You have to understand. What is Carlos doing? Should I publicly apologize to you?

No. Kalilah, you're making this. Are you? Is it because of the comments or something? I didn't even know there were comments about yeah i don't think it was a bad thing like did someone say something to you like your dick put your dick in my hand right now shake on it we're okay guys carlos and i are okay nothing to see here nothing to cry about no big deal he is somebody that i'm gonna fondle for the rest of my

life okay does stand for on ketamine. I mean, when you see me do that on stage, it can get hard though. You're in my camera. Oh, I believe that. You're in my camera.

I was in her camera. We'll never get hard again. Esther put a curse on you. I'm not the girl for the job. I believe it can get hard. I'm just not the girl for the job. No,

no, wait, can I just say something? Kalilah, you give everyone a boner. Except for Carlos. No, Carlos is under pressure. Yeah, he's nervous. Yeah, I also have like Lexapro, you give everyone a boner. Except for Carlos. No, Carlos is under pressure.

Yeah. He's nervous. Yeah, I also have like Lexapro on my system. Oh my God, these two. The Lexapro twins. You guys are pros of the Lex, I'll tell you that. They are. This is where their professional comes in.

Who wants to close it out? Honestly, I don't know if it's the weed or the climate, but I felt like this was seven hours. This was the longest podcast of my life. It was off the rails. I loved it. I loved it. Guys, thank you so much for tuning in.

Hawaii is just a wonderful place. It is. We're on the North Shore. It's gorgeous. Kalilah, take us home. Literally, I'm tired. I'm going to do what I do best which is just

bail on you guys without letting you know thank you for saying that because I was about to interrupt whatever you're gonna say you did best with that no she's just gone she'll just

there's just like a car driving off with like like all this cool stuff in it they're going to like surf or something like oh there's just a surfboard driving off

that is my style no goodbyes just a complete bail it's a filipino exit it is thank you guys so much for watching this very special christmas episode oh yeah merry christmas can you say it correctly this time say it first melee melee kalikimaka kalikimaka there we go melee kalikimaka Can I just say things I want to talk about on the next episode so we are held to them? I saw the movie Old. I went home and saw my parents. I want to talk about some real deep, serious shit with you bitches, okay? Okay.

Got it. Time to eat papayas. I'll see you guys later. About how life moves on. All right, guys. Love you. Bye. Happy holidays.

Enjoy your calendar, Carlos.