Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - It’s Not Goodbye, It’s See You Next Tuesday Ft. Brittany Furlan

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

Thank you to our sponsors: BETTERHELP - Become your own soulmate, whether you’re looking for one or not. Visit betterhelp.com/trashtuesday to get 10% your first month. HELIX is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to helixsleep.com/trashtuesday and use code: HELIXPARTNER20. This is their best offer yet and won’t last long! With Helix, better sleeps starts now.     Go See Annie on Tour! Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows Listen & Subscribe to AnnieWood https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392 Esther’s new movie: DRUGSTORE JUNE! Still Available in Theaters and you can now Pre-Order via Streaming Platforms!  https://www.drugstorejune.com/      MORE BRITTANY FURLAN! Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brittanyfurlan/?hl=en Podcast This The Worst -https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-is-the-worst/id1722182856   00:00 - Saying Goodbye 00:11 - Drugstore June Promo 00:36 - Annie Tour Dates 01:52 - Should You Tell Your Friend They’re Fat 05:35 - Somehow Brittany’s Big Boobs are Real  07:31 - Bonding Over Crippling Anxiety 18:19 - Cool Girls Have Autoimmune Diseases  21:49 - Esther: “I’m an Egg” 24:29 - Birth Plan 28:30 - Mental Hospitals 36:28 - Haunted Experiences 40:31 - Nothing Scary About Getting It Out 41:36 - Mom Aches 47:45 - https://poshmark.com/closet/brittanyfurlan 48:46 - Dads Raising Daughters 52:30 - Life Without Makeup 53:53 - Millennial Core Uniform 59:21 - Facial Trustworthiness 01:04:24 - A Little Bit Of an Act At the Beginning 01:08:26 - Brittany and Tommy’s Dynamic 01:14:35 - Wrap-Up 01:18:00 - A Heartfelt Departure       Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392   Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  🍬  https://www.candyedits.com     Produced by: Real Good Touring & Ten42 Podcast Producer(s): Stella Young & Julien Bensimhon Edited By: Andrew Tarr (Audio) & Vidpros (Video + Clips)     This Video Contains Paid Advertising

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details weird to say but you know i'm really excited i'm proud of you guys and everything and i did what that's what i do oh sorry hi slugs i hope you're all enjoying drugstore june which is in theaters now and very exciting. You can now pre-order it on Apple and Amazon and it'll probably be on video on demand wherever that stuff happens. But you can pre-order us at drugstorejune.com and it's been so fun meeting everyone at the screenings and popping in and I'm so excited. See you guys for this episode. Hey sluggies. I am on the road as usual. Please come see me. You can always get my dates at Annie Letterman dot com slash shows. But for

time's sake, you can hear them now to Albuquerque, New Mexico, March 8th and 9th. I'm going to be at the Comedy Store for Annie Wooden Friends March 19th. I'm going to be in Washington, D.C. March 22nd and 23rd. I'm going to be in Washington, D.C., March 22nd and 23rd. I'm going to be doing the Netflix as a Joke Festival at the Comedy Store, May 9th. And I will be in Jacksonville, Florida at the end of June. And also my dates for Fort Worth got moved as well. So go to AnnieLetterman.com slash shows to find out about those. And please come to Annie Wood every Thursday to catch your girl. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash trash Tuesday. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash trash Tuesday and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long with Helix. Better sleep starts now. Do you know that apparently when someone tells you they feel bad about something and then you say, no, but you're very pretty, it actually drops their confidence. This is a study done on children. Is that why

you're hugging the pillow? And I was like, no, I'm not. No. So apparently if a kid comes and says, I'm the worst kid in the soccer team. And the parent says, no, you're not. You know, you're everyone on the team is good. It makes them not trust their own observation of the world. And it drops their confidence even more that someone is not validating what they're seeing. Okay. So you're supposed to be like, you little ****.

Yes, you are. Kalilah, half your face is ****. Thank you. Thank you. That helps. And finally, the camera will see. I've been seeing that side this whole time. So apparently you're supposed to say,

oh, like, why do you feel that way? Tell me more. And just kind of give them the space to explain why they feel that way and then not validate the bad or good. So they're just like, okay, cool. This is why if a friend tells you that they think they're fat, what are you supposed to say? Are they fat? If they're fat, I tell them they are. I'm honest. There's a lot of ways out. I mean, I'm just like, you know, you could work out some more.

I would want someone to say the same to me. I would, because I don't want to lie to people. There has to be like, it has to be prefaced though. Yeah. For example, if it's my sister, the way I ask her is, look, like you're not going to hurt my feelings. Just like, give it to me straight.

But she's really good about it. She's just like, like no i think that maybe we should start moving a little bit more together about you but when i'm feeling beanpole but um i think that there's a way to do it but i don't know esther but sometimes i think like if they do if that's how they feel then i want to like not be like oh no you, you're not. I want to be like, if you feel that almost like what your sister is like, if you feel that way, how can we make you not feel that way? But it is a weird conversation that comes up in female friendships. I feel like also I think about it. It's like, okay, so I, I gained weight over the pandemic and stuff. And then I would like see pictures of myself now.

And I'm like, Todd, you said nothing. Like, not that I look bad. Like, I do think that like my high self-esteem is actually what keeps me bigger a lot of the times. Cause I'm like, I do look cute at every weight. But like, I don't think I look bad, but I'm like, Todd, it was definitely like spilling over. I didn't change my outfits.

But do you now, do you wish that he would have said something? I don't know that I would have been able to handle it. I think you just have to. Unsolicited is really hard. No, he would never unsolicited. He would never unsolicited. Only if someone asks you, like, if my friend literally was getting heavy and said, am I getting heavy? I'd say, I mean, I have noticed you gotten a little heavier, but like, it's no big deal. Do you want to like go for walks or something? Like, I wouldn't make him feel bad. I feel like that's fine. Yeah. Like, I'm not going to be like, yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. I remember when I like gained a lot of weight and this woman I was babysitting for was like, she did something that was really nice. Like she didn't say like, no, you didn't.

But she was like, you look more adult. Like she found like a positive spin on it. Yeah. And I do remember liking that because it is dismissive when someone says, no, you're not. You look great. But you know. Yeah. But also gaining weight doesn't always make you look worse. So it's like almost like attaching that to. Yeah, that's true.

It's kind of like you were under like I definitely don't think I like ever. I didn't feel like I looked bad. The time I was like what I'm talking about. I looked a lot bad. Really? Did I know you? No, this is before I moved out here. I was going to say I've protected you. You've all been protected. You've always been small to me.

It was so funny because when I started dating Tommy, I was 105 pounds. Tommy who? My husband. Tommy Furlan. Tommy Furlan, duh. When I started dating him, I was 105 pounds and now I'm like 125. And so it's like crazy because people are like, oh, she got that., I was 105 pounds and now I'm like 125. And so it's like crazy because people are like, oh, she got that. So I was telling you about the boobs because they think I have breast implants, but I gained literally 20 pounds. But you've always happy. I mean, I've always had boobs, but they got bigger when you're happy you eat. I mean, at least I do. When you're in a relationship and you're like happy, you just, at least I do. I'm like, yay, I feel good. When you're in love, for sure. And I feel like that's just a natural progression of a human body anyways,

is to not stay stuck in your teen frame. Like Bobby always says, you're still pretty. You're just bigger. What? Bobby says that to you? Yeah, and I'm like, Bobby was going through a teen pregnancy all the time? But then he's like, I'm bigger too. It's fine.

I'm like, okay, I can handle that. Girl, you are not bigger. But like bigger from when he met me doesn't matter from when I met I've known you since I did tiger belly years ago right and I see you now you're exactly the same don't let people get in your head I will say that finding out your boobs were real was like yeah I let him feel him before you came it was like you can feel him later too I'm just the fact that we're the same gender is like crazy. Like that we're just going around the world, both considered women.

I'm dead. Her body is. It's like so, because I just was so 110% sure those had to be fake. Like I was like, there's no way that would happen. I'm too scared of surgery. People think I've had like tons of plastic surgery, but I've just had like filler in my face and stuff, you know? A lot. But not like I've never been actually cut open.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I'm too scared to get put under. Yeah. Also, your boobs, like, bare, too, are like, it's not. With that weight, there should be different things happening. It's really crazy. It's like, I think that's the number one boob I've ever seen in my life.

You got to see them? Yeah, I held them. Yeah, she popped them out in the green room. Is it going to make you feel better? It might make me go into labor. She's keegling. Why are you keegling so much? That's how we bonded a long time ago was our crippling anxiety.

And at that time that I met you, I wasn't leaving the house at all. And you were like like I'm not either and then we would just send anxiety memes all day long and I knew I was like

I think Brittany's the only other person who hasn't left the house in years I think scared scared even getting here I was like white knuckling

the steering wheel like you can do it it's just Glendale I met you in your house because you were like I can't go anywhere the first time I met you was inside you and Tommy Lee's house.

I was like, I don't think I'm supposed to be allowed in here yet. I'm just like hot Howard Hughes. Are we supposed to do a vibe check before you let me in your mansion? Now, how are you doing that? Because I remember years ago having a really good conversation with you about like, you really don't leave the house. Like this is real. You get panic attacks at the grocery store. Like where are you at with it now? Are you better? So like because I had to go on tour and go to all those crazy places like Japan and Australia and all this stuff. And I was freaking out. My therapist actually was the one that was like, you need to go back and do stand up, do the thing that scares you the most, because that's like the scariest thing is like not only leaving the house, but

then performing in front of a bunch of strangers. she was like you need to go do that again and so I year ago I started doing it again and I would literally you guys feel like my heart was gonna explode before I went on stage you guys don't you don't get nervous anymore huh because you've been doing it for so long you don't get nervous at all sometimes I still will have a little like a little jolt of but you're not like boom boom no I don't think so so mine's like horrible and so like I was literally in such a like horrified state but then I kept doing it doing it doing it doing it doing it and then it started to make it less and less and it's called exposure therapy yeah so when you keep exposing yourself to something that you're really scared of, eventually you create like a new neural pathway and it makes it less scary.

And so then I started doing, you know, I think the years ago I was like I was driving to the gas station, then driving home, then to the grocery store, then driving home, then doing a podcast and driving home. You know what I mean? And I'll seem like normal when I'm talking to you guys. But like before I get here, I'm like. I get that 100%. It's weird. Isn't it like when you're around people, you're okay. But then as soon as, well, that's like my biggest frustration is that telling people that I have anxiety and not having

anything to show for. Like, for example, it's like, I almost have to stick someone's hand into my sweaty armpit for them to be like, oh, you're actually a mess because I think that I've done a really good job. My way of coping is to appear the opposite of it because I think that it, I don't know, in some weird way, like it almost like, it's like an avalanche effect. Like if you look it, you feel it and then it like triples, quadruples. So I have a very like calm, like nature, but I'm dying on the inside 150 beats a minute yeah it's horrible i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy i do want to validate you both right now and say like it's true these are like it is hard to believe because you both don't show it but i know that you struggle with these things it's like you are so calming and you are like so fun and exciting.

You just bust in. I'm about to lose it at any second. I'm like, you're so wild on stage. I'm psycho. And it's because I'm like literally about like to lose my mind. So I'm like, well, we can make this really fun or like it's scary. And it's weird because like I'll be on vacation and all these places and my husband's like like at night then like you know when I'm not filming myself or filming out during the day I'm like having massive panic attacks he's like having to calm me down because I'm just like oh my god I'm in a foreign country I don't know where the hospital is they don't speak English like I start freaking out it's more like a trapped thing do you get that way too like if there's not a hospital nearby I don't feel safe I map hospitals five mile radius I couldn't leave my The first time I ever tried the whole exposure therapy thing was after not leaving the house for almost two years.

When I would go to the grocery store, somehow the lights would sort of make me freeze. And my biggest fear was I would forget who I was. What a dumb thing. Disassociating. Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm going to dissociate, forget who I am. So I called Jenna and be like, hey, can you pick me up on aisle so and so? Because I'm like in a freeze state. Yeah. The lights fuck me up bad. You should drag a leg in and get one of

the little cars that will make you happier. A little scooter? Yeah, have a little scooter. You can like beat people out of your way. That's the number one experience. I get dizzy like in Target. I can't really go in Target or grocery stores. I get dizzy. The lights make me dizzy. Same. I'm so sensitive to light. And then I get the arm tingle first and I'm like, oh, it's coming on. Yeah. The heart attack.

You think you're going to have a heart attack too? All the time. It's pure death. Yeah. It's scary. That's my biggest fear. I really think I'm going to. It's scary.

Have a heart attack? Yeah. I don't want to like skip. Because my heart is like always beating really fast. They'll try to give you CPR and your big tits will be in the way. They won't be like, dude. We can't get around. We can't get the defibrillator they're like titty fucking you real quick they can't help it how do they do cpr and like really

big titty girls i mean it's like up here more but yeah that's true my tit is kind of in the way but when you're lying down they kind of go a little bit oh yeah they go right up their b***ers are gonna f*** you over go It goes straight to the shock. Oh, no. It's my biggest fear. And then my biggest fear is also that like, because my husband

can't really hear really well because of playing on stage all these years. Oh, my God. So like sometimes when I am having a panic attack, I'm like, babe, help. Help.

And he's sleeping. I have nightmares like that where you can't like scream loud enough for people to hear you. And so he doesn't like wake up all the time. And so I'm kind of like, what if I was like really having an emergency and he couldn't, he didn't hear me.

I'd just be dead. And he didn't have like a thing you can push that zaps him. I need a taser. Some people credit Gary Busey for this quote, but I'm pretty sure it's not Gary Busey who said this, but fear is false evidence appearing real, right? And that's exactly how I would explain anxiety. The lights itself seem like there's a f***ing predator coming to eat me, I think. I mean, they say, what is that other one? They say 99% of the things you worry about don't happen. Yes, I read that the other day. But that's not f***ing true.

99% of the things you worry about don't happen. Yes, I read that the other day. But that's not f***ing true. Yeah, because my anxiety never comes out in public. It's only at night. Oh, really? Like nocturnal panic attacks and stuff? Do you have panic attacks? Just at night, yeah.

Really? So what are yours like? I just wake up sweating and panicking. But I realized recently it's usually very like specific things I'm worrying about that I could just handle. So now before I go to bed, I try to like handle some business. Is it racing hard? Yeah. And do you take something to calm down? You just relax? I just get up. I basically like just go on my phone and I try to listen to things and stuff. But yeah,

I usually just scroll and I'll play like a video game or whatever. But I will say that the phone scroll, which I know is the worst thing where it's not supposed to do it. But when I am in a panic. It distracts you. It's like the best. Like it's just like, oh, this will take me out of immediately and it'll be bright lights. Yeah. Also, if you have like your emergency contact on your phone and especially when you're in the thick of panic, you're like, okay, like they're right there. I can call them if I want.

That helps. I will wake my emergency contact up sometimes and be like, we need another clip. Isn't it tough? It's always about something. So yeah. I'm dead. I'm just like, what I'm panicking about is always something that I can like handle though, which I'm lucky for.

I think like I don't have like too many like huge, like I'm not afraid of dying really. I mean, maybe a little bit. Not really. My biggest fear. Is little bit. You're not? Not really. My biggest fear. Is that what yours is too? No. I think mine has nothing to do with any actual like thoughts. Like I do have pretty grim thoughts, but the hardest part about my anxiety is I cannot explain why. There's no rhyme or reason. I just feel it and it intensely, there's like death and dread and I don't know why why it comes on it's just spontaneous. Yeah I do my thing is intrusive thoughts like that's my anxiety like

I I've never been where I'm in public and I'm in I freeze and I'm like freaked out like I know how you guys get but it's more just like oh a cycle of an intrusive thought is what I am really working on but the Lexapro I went on Lexapro and that was like the right thing for me that really helped I've tried that before yeah I didn't love it I'm off of it now because of the pregnancy but I still have like the muscle memory of what it's done for me but I probably will go back on yeah I feel like yeah like I think I figured out it's like shame so it'll be like thoughts of like things. I'll be like ruminating about things I already said or already did.

And so that I've been trying to just be like have grace for myself and like trust myself. But yours is death? My biggest fear is death. I always just because I don't feel good almost all the time. I always feel sick and unwell. I don't know why and I've like gone to a million doctors and they're like they're like, oh you have autoimmune I have an autoimmune disease but not like anything that would, I don't know why. And I've like gone to a million doctors and they're like, I like, they're like, Oh, you have autoimmune. I have an autoimmune disease, but not like anything that

would, I don't know. So anyway, no, I have, um, like this thing with my heart basically where it just goes into tachycardia out of nowhere. It's called post, um, post-osteostatic tachycardia. Wait a second. Postural osteostatic. I don't know how to say the second word. Wait a second. Postural osteostatic. I don't know how to say the second word. So it's POTS. Yeah. Postural osteostatic.

Oh my God. Orthostatic. Yeah. So I have POTS. Orthostatic. Yeah. You have it too. So maybe this is why we have it.

The two cross-eyed girls have POTS. So yeah. So my heart was going into tachycardia out of nowhere. And so they were just putting me on beta blockers. And I was like, there's something more. No, but I got, um, so I actually have an arrhythmia. So at first they were kind of very dismissive about my heart stuff. And then I just would not relent. I was like, slap a monitor. They don't believe women. So it was monitor after

monitor after monitor. Finally, they were able to find two different, um, like, uh, abnormal electrical pathways. And so they went in there through like my femoral artery. And so they burned the abnormal tissue. It's called an ablation. Yeah, an ablation. But I got that maybe like five years ago. But it maybe cut it down to like 85%, but I still have it.

So would you take- But POTS is a bitch. When you get up, do you get dizzy? Yeah. And do you take the beta blocker or anything or no? I do. So pill and pocket. I have it here with me all the time.

Yeah. So, but, you know, I was listening to Gabor Mate and he was saying that, you know, the rise of autoimmune illness in women is not a mistake. Yeah. It's like we carry the burden of so much and the physical manifestation of trauma in women is autoimmune illness yeah more so in women than men and it sucks it's right because like women will will put their needs aside they're more likely to put their needs aside for others and that's why yeah i saw that too that is i hate that i'm like i think that's real That is, I hate that. I'm like, I think that's real. It is absolutely real. There isn't a person in my family that doesn't have some type like my sister has. So I have POTS. She has lupus.

And so she goes through it worse than me. I didn't know you said lupus. Yeah, she has lupus. And she has, when you have one, you typically have more than one. So she also has like ailerdanlos and possibly RA because they all sort of cross over in symptoms. And it's hard to really pinpoint exactly which autoimmune because it all has the joint pain, like the kidney stuff. So I feel really bad for her. But now, like, comparatively, I have it much milder. But isn't, like, heart stuff? Like, I know when my dad had open heart surgery, they were like, be really careful.

Like, be really, like, watch your dad a lot because there's a lot of like depression that comes after when your heart something happens with your heart it's like it's like a mistrust with your body kind of a hundred percent that's why I feel so uneasy all the time is because my heart is like either beating really fast or slow or it's like never regular it's either going like boom boom boom boom boom or it's just like slow it's just so you just feel kind of uncomfortable all the time. Like it's really bad. And then when I try to exercise, isn't this hard for you? The exercise, like I'll go for a walk up a hill. My heart will be literally hitting so hard. It's like, I can like feel it on my breastbone. Like it's horrible. Yeah. Cause I have POTS. I know that feeling the first five minutes of a workout is,

it's like you're fucking dying. But then I just get over the hump and then I start to feel better 30, 40 minutes in. The swimmer will go before the pots. But I know that feeling, that first five minutes is like your heart is in your throat and you feel like you're dying. Now, is this something you guys developed with time or you always had it? I started to, maybe I just didn't notice it as a kid. I probably already had it then because that's when the trauma was inflicted. But I've had sweaty palms and like symptoms of anxiety since I was a young kid. But I think the hard stuff, not till I was 20 something.

Yeah. I mean, I've always been like really anxious and dizzy even before I like took medication when I would like walk around in high school. And I remember the lights would make me really, really dizzy. And I like took medication when I would like walk around in high school and I remember the lights would make me really really dizzy and I was like I wonder what that's about it was so weird and I mean my heart was always has always been racing like my whole life so I don't know I don't know when it started for me I just knew something was wrong because it just gets so fast out of nowhere and I was like were you like at the doctor a lot as a kid I'm still at the doctor a lot I don't believe them when they're like, you're fine. Your heart's great. And I'm like,

why does it hurt all the time then? Like, that doesn't make sense to me. Do you think that's why our eyes converged? Is that a trauma response? I'm dead. Roasting us again on our cross side. I know we're just like little, uh, what do we look like? Possums kind of like, right? People do tell me I look like you. People tell me I look like you, but the ugly version of you. They're like, you look like the ugly version of Kalilah. Honestly, that's a really nice compliment. They do say that. I would kill for that.

I know. I'm like, it's so sweet, you guys. Thank you. Someone, love you guys. It was like a random person. It was like, did you, she's like, did you staple Brittany Furlan's face onto yours? I'm like, possibly. Well, I'm flattered if I look like you.

Not the titties, though. I'm dead. Born with A's. How do you do all the diving shit with anxiety because I see you doing these crazy free dives and shit like I would freak the fuck out that's the one upside of my childhood is that my parents introduced me to water very early and it is the one place that is super meditative you're forced to meditate you are just holding your breath yeah so it is, you cannot start thinking about all the horrible things in the world or death. You're just very focused and you're on your own breath. So it's forced meditation.

What about sharks? I need that. I need something in my life right now where I can't think about my physical state. Do you feel like very uncomfortable right now? I do. I don't want to. I get I keep bringing it back to that. But I think I'm just like I'm having I've hit a really hard wall in the later stage of the pregnancy.

And I'm like, but I maybe it's just today and tomorrow will be better. But like so Dave has been out of town and he came back for the weekend. And so he was here, you know, and just last night I was sitting on the bed with him and I was like I'm an egg I'm I'm literally an egg I'm like Humpty Dumpty I'm but yes physically but also literally you're just waiting to hatch you're so vulnerable it's like disgusting you're just this egg you're just waiting to hatch. You're so vulnerable. It's like disgusting. You're just this egg. You're so like, because I don't know. Just anyone could just come and break you.

You have no defense. You feel, it's just, I'm an egg. Do you feel the baby moving? I do, which is sweet. That's really cute and fun. But I'm an egg. Do you think? Catherine and I really thought you were going to

go like sentimental, like I'm in so much pain and it's been so painful. And you're like, I'm an egg. So I don't think I could ever like, well, I mean, I already can't have kids, but like, I think I couldn't handle like the mental state of it. I, I, you, I, yeah. It's a lot. You're not wrong. It's a lot. Do you wrong it's a lot do you think Dave coming home gave you like permission to kind of like

feel bad I've been feeling bad and it's really the last two nights I don't know the sleep is just that sucks

the sleep is just getting and I am on eight hours through the night girl and I understand this is like

a lot of people deal with not all of us here, but it's just it's really weighing on me. And I'm an egg. Oh, babe. You know what, Esther? You are an egg. Thank you.

I'm not going to tell you you're not. If you feel like an egg, you're an egg. But when you think of a pregnant woman, like, don't you think that's accurate? You're kind of like a Russian doll egg. You're like an egg with an egg. There's like a lot of eggs. There's several eggs and there's still eggs. There's still other eggs. Oh my God. Your baby already has her eggs. And your baby has eggs? Yeah. You're a dozen of eggs. And also I know we were talking about this before, but like, it's like, I'm 35 weeks. I'm not showing that much. And I literally think instead of growing out, this baby is growing in and up.

Oh, my God. Like, she's like a homebody already. She's, like, clinging in there. And I'm just— That's cute, though. Illegal C-section. That's cute. Are you ready?

Are you ready to take her out? Doctor in the house. Yeah, I don't know how. I just don't know how to keep going. How soon can you legally get a— Good question. My doctor said—well, like, if you're high risk or, like, a lot of people are in situations where they have to come out, like, 37-ish, whatever weeks. My doctor was, like, the earliest that we would do that, like, people where they're fully cooked, whatever weeks. My doctor was like the earliest that we would do that people where they're fully

cooked is 39 weeks. That's when you can get an induction, right? In four weeks you'll be 39 weeks? Yeah, but then there's all this controversy that's like wait until it comes when it's ready. But also four is just five weeks.

That's so soon. It's not like relieving you of that much time. Right, that's so soon. I mean, that's so the same. It's not like, it's not like relieving you of that much time. Right, it's only one week. Yeah, exactly. So,

are you going to do natural or are you going to have the C-section? Oh yeah, I haven't talked about this yet. what is your birth plan? Okay, so I had that doctor's appointment

where I talked to the doctor and she basically was like, you're a good candidate for a vaginal birth, which I was like, great. And so, you should have a big fat pussy.

She's like, that pussy can pop. Pop that pussy, bitch. Fucking Grand Canyon down there. Things just gonna fall out. I'm dead. I can't. I hope they were there for a second before they said it. It wasn't just like an immediate look.

And she was a great candidate. Great. It was based on how my ultrasound went, I guess. And like the positioning of everything. Cause you know, if they're like, oh, it's breach, it's upside down. We have to do a C-section, whatever, which I was hoping that they would just tell me it has to be this way. And after that appointment, I just out of anxiety, I had scheduled a scheduled C-section. Cause I was like, I don't want to push. I'm still scared. And then like, I thought about it and then I canceled it. And I'm going to, my plan now is just hope that she comes on her own, go the vaginal route, obviously medication

all the way. Like I'm getting high dog. Like I drink like a four loco before you come in. They're like, is she drunk? drunk i'm dead just wasted having the baby i'm fucking dead who's gonna be in the room have you decided i think just me and dave yeah no she's had you've had enough time with your mom would dampen the mood i just should be taking pictures i throw that name in the bucket just to be like your nurse advocate? Your name will be in there, Kalilah. Don't worry. It hasn't worn off. If you're really volunteering, you have to wear a sexy

nurse's costume, though. I'll get one tailor-made with a name and everything. That's nice. I might follow up on this conversation when we get closer. What hospital are you going to do? I'm going to be in Huntington, Pasad pasadena yeah my hood nice and classy love that i'm gonna go vaginal baby go bears go vaginal what i love about the

the breaching is i was breached and they were still like no we'll just let her inhale pussy juice they just yanked me out i came ass first you were breached i was breached and they delivered you through the vagina? Yeah, my brother first then me, yeah. Oh, yeah. Forget your twin. They don't do that anymore. I was incubator because of it. My mom was also born vaginally as a breech baby, but they literally don't do that.

And I don't know why because there's so many people who— Well, obviously there were some statistics. I don't want to encourage smoking, but my grandma, my dad's mom smoked, and had him super early and he was a preemie and she said he like just fell out. Is that where your close set eyes came from? But no, he was literally four pounds because she smoked like and smoking is so bad for the baby. But like, you know, he came out super early. Well, there you go, Esther. Yeah, just light him up, dude.

Baby's like, get me out of here. What brand do you think Esther would smoke with? Give her a new porch, just going hard. But she was like, yeah, it barely was anything because he was so small. Because, like, she smoked. He was four pounds. If it makes you feel any better,

Huntington Hospital is where they did a very good job pumping my stomach when I OD'd. Oh, what did you OD on? I tried to kill myself in high school. Okay. The casual delivery. Yeah. But it was in Huntington's. Speaking of deliveries, this one was quite casual. My only memory is that I was awake, starting to feel like my, I felt twitchy and then I had a couple of seizures. And then anyways, I woke up with a catheter and I was like, excuse me, nurse, I have to pee. She's like, it's okay. You have a catheter on. So I peed and the fucking catheter

was not on right. So I peed all over my bed. And then my mom was like leaning her head on my, like kind of too close. And she felt just like a cold rush of like fluid. And she was like, yeah, I don't think your catheter is on. You golden showered your mommy. You're like, it's a great hospital. They didn't put my catheter in right. Good luck, Esther. I can't.

Wait, I'm so sorry. I didn't even know that about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just lots of mentals. Did they make you go to the hospital after, too? The mental hospital? Yeah. So I've been to BHC twice and then one in Torrance my third time.

Like, I'm a repeat offender. Were they, like, really horrible? Because the one I went to in Philly was insane. I mean, I think they're all similar in that they give you one hour a day where you can play with your contraband. And that's like the, you know, if your family brings you snacks or whatever,

that's, they give you just one hour of that. I felt like they tranked a lot of their patients in there but in bhc we had everyone from like um eating disorders someone like me who was suicidal and it was just like a mishmash but i met some really cool girls there you did i did wow but apparently didn't learn a lot of lessons the first time because it happened a second and it happened a third and on my third time the one of our i ended up dating one of the counselors from that place so do not recommend that a guy a guy i should just say his name his name is i just remember he used to wear a lot of aeropostale after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced

wireless providers if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls and the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can

use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month and all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash tuesday that's mintmobile.com slash tuesday cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash tuesday 45 up front payment required equivalent to 15 a month new customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply. Statement mobile for details. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

And let me tell you, therapy has been one of the most important tools in my life. I don't know if you've noticed, but modern life is not really something that our brains are like prepared or set up for. I'm currently going through a pregnancy that's been really hard on my mental health. I had to go off my Lexapro, which has been a bit of a challenge for me and my emotions. And also there's a lot of relationships in my life that are really important to me. And in order for me to show up in those relationships as my authentic yet boundaried, yet loving self, all those things, I need a therapist to give me tools and help me work on that. Same. I think for me, a lot of things come at me at once and therapy really

helps me sort of figure out what matters to me the most. And if you're thinking about giving therapy a try, try it with BetterHelp. I think it's very convenient. I love that I don't necessarily, especially on my worst days when I just want to sit in bed and stew and not get up and drive to an office. This is really a convenient way to talk to somebody either through the phone or through video chat, whatever you prefer that day. They have a great journal feature.

And I think that therapy is not just for those who are having difficulty currently, it's for everybody. Maintenance. Yeah, it's maintenance. I also think about myself in my twenties and like if I had had something like BetterHelp that would have made it so convenient without dealing with parking and parking tickets and all the traffic and stuff, like I could have started my healing journey a little bit sooner and life could have gotten more successful sooner. So if you are a young person and it's hard out there, BetterHelp, I implore you to give it a try. It's very easy. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Esther, I know you know this about me. I'm part of a Helix family. Every single person in my family, my sister, my mom, my friends even, every single room in all of our houses are Helix. I just loaded up my guest room with a Helix twin size mattress. That's right. And I'm getting rave reviews. And honestly, I love it so much that, and I also like to feel like a child when I sleep. So I will sometimes just sleep in the twin bed for the thrill of it. But I love Helix. I picked the midnight lux option, which is like kind of more because I knew there'd be multiple people sleeping on it. It kind of more

can fit for everyone, but they have a quiz. So you have to take the quiz, like what's going to be the right mattress for you? Do you sleep on your back, your side? And I also think buying mattresses is so complicated and I don't really want to go to a store and like have an awkward retail experience. Like I love just with Helix, you do the quiz, you figure out what's right for you. Obviously, if it doesn't work out, they have a great return policy. And same. So I am a side sleeper and I run pretty hot when I sleep. So I was matched with a midnight mattress. But, like you, I got the option to get the Lux because it's a little bit more, it's a little thicker and more luxurious.

They have 20 unique mattresses to choose from. Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a hundred night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. Yeah. They just kind of make it the easiest, most seamless way to get a mattress. And that's why I will be a Helix girly forever. They just understand that everybody is unique and the way we sleep is unique. When I was younger, I used to sleep face down starfish and Helix has a mattress for face down starfish. As a pregnant person, I'm very triggered by that right now because I really miss face down starfish.

Good news. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash trash Tuesday and use code helixpartner20. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep. It starts now. Esther, do you remember spring break? No, I always had sinus surgery.

Me too. I actually don't remember spring break. But I want to recreate, I want to create it as an adult for myself. Rewind it back to the days of chillaxing on the beach and all day fun with spring break on DraftKings Casino. Play exclusive games like FanFave Rocket. The excitement is endless, the vibes are right, and the cash prizes could be huge. We love DraftKings. We're pygmy girls.

Look, I lived in Vegas for several years. You know this. I can't believe I didn't know you in your Vegas era. That hurts. It's in my blood to love blackjack roulette. You think it's in your blood, girl? I know it's in your blood. Thanks, daddy. Yeah, you guys, we love DraftKings Casino and new players start playing with just five bucks and get 100 back instantly in casino credits. Download the app and use code TRASHTUESDAY to book your one-way ticket to fun with DraftKings Casino. The crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.1800gambler.net in Connecticut. Help is The crown is yours. Only void in Ontario. Eligibility and other restrictions apply. One per opted in new customer. $5 wager required. Max $100 in casino credits awarded, which require one-time playthrough.

Within 168 hours, see terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. Restrictions apply. Have you guys seen the picture of where Brittany grew up? With the faces on the window? You're from Pennsylvania too. Where in Pennsylvania were you from? Like Upper Brooks County, like Percocet area. Where were you again? I was right outside of Northeast Philly. Yeah. Brittany grew up with the faces on the window you're from Pennsylvania too where in Pennsylvania where you from like Upper Bucks County like Percocet area

where were you again I was right outside of Northeast Philly yeah but you're haunted right isn't Pennsylvania so haunted it's old it's like weird

it's old old encrusted civil war like pre-civil war the Liberty Bell's there it's old as hell that's right old as hell dude that is interesting

a lot of haunted that's a different vibe but then when you go to Europe you're like oh wait America's like really young you're like this is old as hell of that's a different vibe but then when you go to europe you're like oh wait america's like really young yeah this is old as hell like that's like haunted haunted they were haunting our haunts yeah yeah did you have haunted experiences or not really no but everything is creaky creaky everything's creaky and wooden and everyone has like a stone fireplace my my quaker meeting like the quaker church you would sit in silence but it was like

so loud because everything was like so creaky. There was like a fire popping. Everything was always like Yeah. Isn't that crazy that you were a Quaker and now you're wearing belly shirts? I was like a slutty Quaker. A slutty Quaker. I'm dead.

Yeah, the house was crazy. Did you ever go to the penitentiary, like haunted museum? No, but I've heard that was wild. There's like the big Halloween thing is you go to that. They have like the old state penitentiary and you go and they have the haunted house there. It's pretty cool. It's wild. I like being scared though.

Did you ever go to Gravity Hill? Uh-uh. So there's a hill in Pennsylvania called Gravity Hill. That sounds so scary. This thing is f***ed up. You drive your car up and you're going uphill. And then at some point you stop and you just put your car in neutral. And then your car just keeps going uphill.

What? It's called Gravity Hill. That is not what I was expecting. Also, there was ringing rocks. It was very nice. It was a valley with a lot of rocks. You would throw rocks, they'd ring. There's also nice things too.

Rocks and like lakes. Yeah, there was waterfalls. Ticks. Ticks, ticks. Lots of deer ticks. Go check. Yeah, it was, my house was a new house, but it was built on like old land. So like my dad said like he would find like animal bones in the backyard all the time.

Animal bones? Yeah, and then one time my neighbor who, or my friend's mom who grew up in the area, she grew up, like, in a little bit further from me, and she goes, this used to be a cemetery when she came to pick me up. And my house just had horrible energy growing up. Like, horrible. Like, my mom had borderline, so that was, like, very difficult. You know, she was always freaking the f*** out for no reason,

and she wouldn't take medicine. So she was, like, throwing shit, breaking***, chasing my dad with knives and s***. She's doing good now, though. She's taking medicine now. With David Copperfield, yeah. Yeah, the one who left with David Copperfield. Is she still with David Copperfield? No, they broke up.

But they were married for like eight years. Oh, good run. They stayed together a while. How are you guys now? We're good. Oh, that's amazing. So she's great now. She's like a grandma.

My brother had a baby. And like she's so good with the baby. And I'm like, wow, that could have been nice. You know what I mean? Like I see her with the kid like now that she's like, you know, taking medicine and taking care of herself. And she's like so happy and like her disposition is totally different and just like more calm. And like I'm like, wow, like it's crazy how medicine does really work for the right people.

Did she have you really young? No, she was like 28, I think, or maybe 32. Still sounds young. I think Esther's too young. Oh, Esther, you just look like a teenager. I'm the youngest pregnant person.

You are. Despite that I will be 36 when delivering. It's so crazy because you probably walk in the hospital and they're like, oh, this poor girl,

she probably just graduated high school. They probably feel for you. I wonder if she's going to go to prom. They're like, we need your parents to sign these papers. They grab her, they wrap. Like, they probably feel for you. Like, I wonder if she's going to go to prom. They're like, we need your parents to sign these papers. They grab her. They wrap her up.

They weigh her. Where's the umbilical cord? Oh, wait. Is she a mother? Oh, my God. A nurse will breastfeed me? That would be the dream. You're like just a little baby having a little baby.

Thank you so much. But that's the thing, because this is a little baby. But to you, this is a big baby. I mean, it's a big baby on a small person. I don't know what's going on in there, you guys. It's going to be okay. I saw Esther at her premiere, and I legitimately, she's eight months pregnant and forgot she was pregnant. No, you look so good.

No, no, like I was like, oh, yeah. You look so beautiful. You're literally Lana Del Rey. So cute. You're beautiful. You're literally Lana Del Rey. So cute. With the other, just while we're here, the other like 35 week pregnancy update, the thing that a lot of people had always said to me that I didn't believe would happen, that is happening, is I've been so scared of birth this whole time. Obviously, like so scared. And this is the week where I'm like, I'm ready. Like I'm not scared. There is nothing scary about that moment when I get to go to the hospital and get it out.

Yes. Like I am like. And have like the reward of it. If they call me today, I'd be like, let's go because I'm miserable. Amazing. And I'm wanted over. Thank you. So everyone says that will happen. You think it won't and it is happening and I'm really psyched about it.

Thank you. Oh my God. How like this is such a women-friendly podcast because like people get low blood sugar. This is so nice. I get this way all the time. I usually always carry a banana with me. That's so funny. You know why?

I'm doing good right now. It's a heart healthy food. Yeah. Potassium. It's a natural beta blocker. It is. Magnesium too. Do you ever feel like when you see your mom, because sometimes this is how I feel,

when you see your mom so gentle with her grandkid and seeing her go about things really differently, is there a part of you that aches? I just ache when I see like any mom with their kid anywhere. Like when I see a mom like really caring for her baby and being so loving or like a young daughter who's like even six and like taking her like I'm like wow or when they listen yeah the daughter's like mom and then the mother actually engages and then they have a conversation like I like it makes me super emotional I never got that warmth I would have done anything I used to get really emotional me super emotional. I never got that warmth.

I would have done anything for that. I used to get really emotional when my mom would go. I'd go, where are you going, mom? And she'd go, I'm taking your brother's girlfriend to the art museum. And I'd go, oh, I'd love to go to the art museum. Oh, neat. Okay. She's good now.

They're good now. Yeah, that's so hard. So, yeah, I guess I just, like, I feel like, I feel like I grew up like without like a lot of love, I guess I would say. Like my dad loved me, but like when you grow up with a dad that loves you, the dad's like, love you, kid. Like they punch you in the face.

They're like, chip her up, kid. Like when you're sad, they're like smack you in the back, like punch you, you know what I mean? And then my mom just wasn't like warm. She wasn't able to like regulate her emotions at all or anything like that, yeah. No, my mom, like, I mean, it was was so sad it was just like when I was younger I

mean she would tell me she was gonna kill herself all the time and I'd have to talk her out of it when I was like six oh my god and I was like no don't you know so like you up you just don't get normal after that so that's so vulnerable for you to share like I really appreciate it and respect it is it like a lot of therapy like how do you work through that it's also I feel a such a rarer perspective of a wound to hear from because let's face it like most people like single mom is very common but single dad is like single dad's very I don't hear that and to mom for mom to lose full custody in court, mom's got to be pretty— Yeah, so she lost—she was allowed to see us with two supervisors. Wow.

Would you say there's any, like, positives of— because you and your dad are really close, right? Yeah, we are. We used to be a lot closer. It's kind of sad because you get older, and he's married and has his wife, and I'm married and have my husband, and I do miss my dad. My dad, you know, he was like, we'd go to dinner every night together and talk. And, you know, he was so sweet.

He did the best he could. You know what I mean? But he's a dad, you know? Dads don't want to talk about uncomfortable stuff. Or if you're sad and he's like, don't cry, it'll just get your paper wet. You know what I mean? Like that's like dad,

like dads don't really know how to like cope with feelings, you know, especially my dad. My dad's like never complained about anything emotional or like depression or anything. That's very much a generational thing too. He is a generational hardcore, like Philadelphia raised, like, come on, pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I'm like, dad, no one even wears bootstraps. You're like, they won't let me have bootstraps in the hospital. Is there a, um, is there an awareness and like a feeling of accountability that you get from your mom where you're where she acknowledges like oh okay that was pretty messed up what i did

yeah she's apologized yeah she has she has apologized that means a lot to me i also know that like i have a lot of i hold a lot of space for her and i forgive her because she has a very severe mental illness yeah you know like borderline personality disorder is insane. Like it is a hard, hard mental illness. I don't know if you've ever been around anyone who has it, but like they basically just thrive on chaos. And if they're not medicated or they're not getting help, it's just like a tornado of a person. And it's so hard to be around. Especially when you're a child, too. And it's hard to be someone with it, you know, and for her, like I can't even imagine how hard that was being her you know what i mean isn't that so nice that we get to like adulthood and we really do for the most part we're able to like look at our parents

as just people and like i don't know i i've found a lot of solace in that too of just being like holy shit like they're just two dummies who got a baby yeah they were just not that they did anything wrong or stupid or bad but i'm just like because i always think about how concept of parenting is like new like i think none of us were raised with parented and i'm like yeah that's just how it was it their fault. Yeah. And we view our parents in a very 2D kind of way. They're just mom and dad. We don't really offer them more of an identity outside of that. We try not to see them as sexual beings. We try not to see them as like fallible.

We try not to see them as like anything outside of their job as parents. And it's not until we get older that, you know, my mom tells me stories. as parents. And it's not until we get older that, you know, my mom tells me stories and I'm like, oh, you're a whole ass human being with a whole life before you even thought about having me. And I never saw you for that. I never saw you. I just saw you as my mom who failed me. And that's really like limiting in terms of us trying to like heal together. And when I finally was open to being like, tell me who you are, then it started to kind of move in the right direction. I know it's cool when you're old enough to like, like meet your parents, not like as friends, but just like as two adults talking,

it's like pretty awesome. Yeah. I feel really lucky. To meet them again. Yeah. And then my parents are like so willing to kind of like go through it with me. And like, I went crazy for a little while. Like, I was so triggered and so mad at them. And they just let me yell at them. Wow. They didn't really, like, apologize. It was interesting.

They weren't able to, like, actually say sorry. But then when I stopped needing it, it's like they've really shown up. Like, it's, like, why? It's really sweet. We're all talking about mental health. Like, our parents, instead of, like, going to a doctor or getting therapy, they just had kids like

yeah that's so true to like put it off yeah to remedy the illness yeah can we open this here yeah

I made you guys each necklaces from my little jewelry line called lovely yeah it's lovely jewelry so cute I made the necklace I'm wearing too

wait I love these stickers also I do want to say I know there's people out there that are not in a place where they're ready to forgive their parents.

And that's okay. Also, no contact forever is also okay. Yeah, I was very proud of people that do that. This is so good. Lovely. It smells really good. Oh my god. A little Marlboro. I would have died if I didn't get the cigarettes. I was pregnant. No, I love Marlboro. I would have died if I didn't get the cigarettes.

You made this? Yeah. They're so cute. Do you have a website? Yeah, it's a little card. No, I love mine. I want to send you the one and get the cigarettes. You made this? Yeah. They're so cute. Do you have a website? Yeah, it's a little card. It's like, yeah, I like, I sell out pretty fast, but like I just make them at night. It's another thing I've done like to be off my phone. Yeah. No, I honestly think I might have to break down and read because I'm like, I have to,

maybe I need to start reading. The phone is just, there's nothing there. Wait, this is like incredible. Do you love it? So cute. You're like talented. Thanks. I'm dead.

Mine is a clamshell. So cute. I love yours all the time. So cute. The cigarettes are so funny. And I can make you whatever you want. I have everything. Like I have every gem.

If you're like, I want like, you know, a soda bottle or whatever. I have everything. This is so cute. What's the website, Brittany? It's just, that's right there. Lovely, right there. The lovely, where you see it in the middle. Yeah, I'm Poshmark. Yeah. I have a question for you about your dad. Yeah. How did he teach you about your period and things of that nature and sex? That's a good question. Oh my God. So it's so funny. Like literally got my period and I was just bleeding and my dad just was really quiet and he just put like every brand of pad and every brand of tampon outside my door.

It's so hard to figure out tampons though. It's so hard to figure out tampons. Here you go. Like, good luck. You know? Yeah. So those were like the hard things. Godspeed.

Yeah. You put the tampon in your ass. Yeah, yeah like where does this go plug the butt is that what i do yeah i suck on it i remember one time my mom was out of town and it was just me and my dad and i had to go to a dance class and i was like okay you have to put my hair up now oh my god dad's doing hair this is how my dad tried to put my hair up. Like this. He was going like this. I can't. I was like, I don't know how to do it, but I know that's not right.

So I can't even imagine. That was one night. My dad, that was like my first night without my mom there. I had to go to school the next day. And I woke up in the morning and I have super curly hair naturally, like really ringlets. And he had to do my hair for school. And I was like, my mom used to pull my hair back in a ponytail. And so he gets a bunch of gel and like fills it like this high in his hand.

He goes and like slicks my hair back. Like squeezing my eyes like I have a facelift and puts it in like the tightest ponytail ever. And like made sure to get all the bumps out. You know what I mean? And then I went to school and I looked like a f***ing alien because my hair was slicked back. But then it became a trend. Like all my friends.

I was going to say, I feel like you would look good with that. No bumps. No bumps trend. If you had bumps, you were a loser. So like then everyone started slicking their hair back. It felt like we were in the mafia. Your dad started it on accident?

Yeah, because when I go to school, they're like, wow, there's no bumps. It's so smooth. I feel like that's back on trend now. Yeah, no bumps. I think people are scrunching again too. Do you remember

the Aussie scrunch? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The kangaroo purple spray. I forgot about that. And you would like plaster this part of your hair down

and then scrunch. Or you would just be like scrunching. I want some mousse. Mousse was fun. You can't change this. Is it naturally like this? This is just natural?

Yeah, this is me. I love that. I love that. I wish I had naturally like this? This is just natural? I love that. I love that. I wish I had hair like that. What is your hair? Super curly. Oh, that's cute. Like tight curls.

So I like flat iron it and then curl it again. Yeah, I don't have- What a nightmare. I don't have curly, but I have wavy and calic-y. So it's one side's doing one thing, one's doing the other. Wow. Mine is very weather dependent. Mine's super wavy and humid.

But this is just your natural hair too, right? Yeah. Yeah, you just look great. But in California weather, when it's dry, it just falls flat. So lucky the air dryers, dude. I can't like go in the ocean

like on vacation or I come out looking like, like my husband's like, what the fuck? Like it doesn't dry cute. It's very scary. The downside though is that I'm super lazy with my hair.

I'm super low maintenance and I never quite learned how to do hair well because I've just never really had to. I'm just, it dries. It's beautiful. But it looks so good. It's like shiny and healthy and like long. Like it's everything.

Similar, right? Yeah. I don't know anything about hair. My mom has hair like that. I'm a f***ing bitch. It's so annoying. No, mine's literally like, I can't. Can't get wet.

I could never. Yes. I could never air dry my hair and go out. I'm telling you, I have weird. Yes, I'm telling you, I have weird calyx and like shit goes in different directions. It's wild. Your hair always looks good. Because I spend a lot of time on it.

It's crazy. I spend a lot of time on my hair. Is it straight? Natural though or curly or what? It's wavy and straight in some places. It's wild. Wild. I have just like a front cowlick right here.

I have to like blow dry it down. I have like a little dent in my head. I just don't think I'll ever be unshallow enough to not do my hair. I'm just like, see this now. When I would travel and when I was younger when I would go like backpacking and stuff when I was in my early 20s

and a teenager I would like that was like my sad I was like no pictures look like shit and it's not like I could just put my hair up because I have all these

like baby like it was just fly out everywhere I'm dead I'm the same way I can't do no makeup no hair like I can't

I know me too I love makeup and hair I go full face to like the grocery store I know I love having I love love makeup and hair. I go full face to, like, the grocery store. I know. I love having—I love being camera ready at all times. Wow. I think I do, too.

I just don't have the energy because of pots. Or the skill. And you guys don't have to, either. Like, if I don't have my makeup on— No, there are times where— That's part of it. There have been times where Gilbert has, like, one of my producers on Tiger Belly. He's—I've—we've gone to the grocery store together,

and he was like, Kalilah, for the love of God, do something. Really? Yeah. He's like, I think you're very pretty, but right now— They're all nagging you. Everyone's just being mean because you're too pretty. I feel like you're too perfect. No, no.

This is all very wrong. You literally don't have to do a thing. You're one of those girls that could be on an Aveeno commercial. It just washes their face with water and it's just like perfect. Just like no. You guys have both seen me on FaceTime at home. Be real. Looking great.

Yeah. It's a little bit. I think you might have that body just. Well, we had the thing in the beginning where we had to tell you, yes, you're right. You're ugly. Oh, yeah. We have to agree with you. Yeah.

You look fucking kind. You're the ugliest vagina I ever did see. Wait. fucking kind of the ugliest vagina I ever did see wait um have you guys seen that one um tiktok of the gen z basically coming down on us millennials for having the millennial core uniform of like the bodysuit and the light colored jeans I saw an article about this that like gen z's roast they because you know they always like every six months they have a new roast for us they roast us they yeah well you guys it's gonna happen, you guys, it's going to happen to you too. Whatever.

It's not cool that millennials have a uniform, which, yeah, like you said, like jeans and a t-shirt. I usually always agree with Gen Z, but I totally do not here because I think it's like the Einstein thing. He wore the same thing every day. It makes your life easier if you're dressing the same. I don't know. I don't agree with this. Also, jeans and shirts is what they're saying? No, so it's a black bodysuit. With jeans? With jeans. I don't have that. I never wear that. That's not my outfit. A bodysuit's way too tight for me. I can't. I wear bodysuits, but it's always a mistake. It's always just like a

crazy f***ing Melvin. Same. Mike Campbell's always a heartbeat. I'm always like, oh. Is that what you're wearing, Stella? I feel good about it. Stella does wear that. Oh, you are wearing that outfit. The only person I know that wears that outfit is Stella. I cannot do body suits. It's just too much stimulus. I wear pajamas every day.

Same. I would be wearing what Esther's wearing right now if I was not doing this podcast. You dress cute. I think that the idea of a body suit is just very confining and painful to me. Guys, can I just admit what's happening right now? Okay, I wore a shirt. I have a bag of clothes that were clothes that didn't fit me that I was going to get rid of, but I hadn't gotten rid of them yet.

So I was like, oh, maybe they fit me. So I was like, I want to wear something today that I couldn't wear before because I lost weight. So I grabbed this shirt out and the shirt still doesn't fit me. And my ribs, like, i think i've given myself pots like my ribs so good i'm in pain though it's like why are you because it's so it's so tight look at annie's pop is annie take that sweater off for one second i love your tan line i love that annie's body is body damn dude i worked very hard amazing. Can you please do the Playboy stickers? I want to do the Playboy sticker.

I don't know where they, I have to like order them online. Annie, you look fucking great. But I'm just telling you, this doesn't move and every time I breathe, it hurts. Your tits are big too.

Well, I have, I just have my... You look like you're about to perform like a pop. I know. Yeah, Britney Spears style. I just, I grabbed,

I just had the back, these pants didn't used to fit me and this shirt didn't. I bought so many things that didn't fit me wait you guys are all wearing New Balance too Dadcore

I really like those I love Dadcore shoes me too where are these pants from those are so cool they're from um what is it called

and they're light colored I could never like that's like a skinny girl I can't wear white or anything they're from what the hell you have the skinniest legs you could no I don't what is the anything. They're from, what the hell? You have the skinniest legs you could.

No, I don't. No, I don't. I looked at your little tiny bird legs when you were up there doing Drugstore June. I hide the thighs. Have you talked about Drugstore June? No, you have little thighs. I, no, you guys, trust me if you saw the thighs.

No, Esther, your legs are literally two sticks. No, because they were little before. And so what you're seeing is you're thinking that they're like way bigger than they were. I'll just, I'll pull my pants off later. Whatever. Like, just trust. You got to trust.

I saw them in person. Remember like 10 years ago, was the uniform, was our uniform, the leggings, the flannel? Yeah. The leggings or the green jacket? Skinny jeans. Yeah. Like the green jacket. The army jacket.

So Tom's leggings and a flannel with owl a long owl necklace i didn't do toms i had tom i had toms i was anti toms whitney always had the green jacket and it looks so cool i always like wanted the good green i had a good green jacket yeah wait that is the uniform i just wore doc martens did anyone else just wear doc martensens? Oh, that's cool. But those are like forever cool. Those are cool now. And I still have my high school Doc Martens. Everyone at the Olivia Rodrigo concert is wearing their Doc Martens. So you're ahead.

And I had them when like back when Doc Martens were soft. Yeah. You know, back in the day, Doc Martens weren't fucking hard as fuck. Didn't they get bought by Nike or something now? I don't know, but now they're cheap and they're horribly made. And I tried to get white because I was like, oh, I want a white pair, but they don't know, but now they're cheap and they're horribly made and I tried to get white because I was like, oh, I want a white pair

but they don't make them. Like, back in the day they were really soft like lamb leather that would like stretch and like was so rad and I have my pair from high school.

I mean, it's the difference now. They almost feel like plastic. Yeah. Even though they're supposed to be leather, they're really f***ing hard. Yeah.

Yeah, they suck. That's what they say about Uggs, how we're all like buying fake Uggs. Oh, yeah? Yeah, Uggs are shitty now too. Everything sucks. Everything sucks.

Sorry. We just get all negative. Everything sucks. I lost my Uggs to a snowstorm. They're not waterproof. No, they're not. I knew they weren't, but I was on mushrooms and I couldn't tell if my feet were wet or not and they were very wet.

They were extremely wet. No, it's kind of like shocking. I remember in high school when I got them and you had to like spray them down with something to make them waterproof which I would never do now obviously because we live here but yeah they're not holy shit so your your feet were wet I was I was soaking wet I was walking down the street in Santa Fe and I was like am I making up that my feet are wet and And then I also was like, are the messages from the mushrooms that I need to keep walking and suck it up? Or is the message from the mushrooms

that I need to stop the group and stand up for myself and be like, my feet are wet? And I thought it was the first one until my feet were so cold that I was like, I think my feet are wet. And my friend was like, oh my God, your feet are soaking wet. And then she took me to a shoe store and I got boots.

You just got trenched. And it was very easy. Yeah, I was just like, well. Your feet my God, your feet are soaking wet. And then she took me to a shoe store and I got boots. You just got trenched. And it was very easy. Yeah, I was just like, whoa. Your feet were like green. They were so wet, all wrinkled. Oh, my God. Yeah. So I came across this like article on facial trustworthiness.

And it basically breaks down different faces and what faces, what features make someone trustworthy looking and what don't. I want to know what you guys think. Wait, this is the example? I say middle guy because the guy who's like, he seems a little low vibe. Well, with the downturned eyes? Yeah, I'm going, you need me too much. Doesn't he look like he's like, help me. I don't want to be a mama.

Who would you f***? Who would I f***? Well, I'd probably f probably the rapist on the left or on the right andre the giant i mean that guy the yeah i think middle for sex and for trust yeah and then the middle guy would save me and then the the friends i would have friend zoned that other guy is so hard friendly eyed guy i can't stand it. Really? That's not a drummer, bitch. That's not a drummer. I'm dead. That's not a drummer.

I just like really nice people. I like nice people too, but look at how he's looking at you like, help me. I think you look sweet. Brittany, I had a boyfriend once that said to me, he goes, I just think you're going to be the one

that helps me get my life together. That's that guy. I was like, get your own life together, you f***ing loser. Look, he had lesbian moms. It wasn't his fault.

Was he younger than you? He wasn't. He just had, he didn't have a dad. He had two moms. You were his dad? I was the father figure in his life.

And he was the father. Finally found you. The other guy looks like a serial killer to me. So he definitely dated the serial killers. A downturned mouth is definitely a murder.

How does this apply to girls? Are there examples for girls? The same thing? Okay, look it up. Because I'm pretty sure I have a, because a U-shaped mouth, so the upward,

upturned mouth is what they're saying is trustworthy. Esther's like, I can't wait to get back in bed. I would do the one on the left. The one on the left for a girl, I think guys should pick

because she looks like she will suck your dick for your attention. Oh yeah, the angry one doesn't rip your dick off. You could f*** me ass, but I'm not going to like it. A lot of guys will like the angry girl. Yeah, that's true. They like that.

What's up with the men like bitches thing? Do we agree with that? Do you remember that book? Yes. Are you guys mean to your guys? No, no, no. Yeah, I love that book. I'm tease mean, but not real mean. No, not mean. Not like terribly mean. But I think that there is a level of like you…

You can't be subservient. Yeah, I'm not going to be a subservient little like, oh, I'm like at your beck and call all day. Do you think you can be too nice? Yes. I have been for sure. Oh my God, it's so embarrassing. I'm like such a like… Maybe it's because I'm like a Virgo, but I'm like so like… I love giving gifts, as you guys can see. And I love like surprising people and, maybe it's because I'm like a Virgo, but I'm like so like, I love giving gifts as you guys can see.

And I love like surprising people and like making their day. Yeah. And I like always like, like I'll go buy my husband his favorite candy or like, and just surprise him. I have that too though. I'm not a Virgo. And I'm like such a like gift giver. And I'm like, then I'm like, wait, should I be doing this stuff?

Like, I'm like, am I supposed to be? I've overdone it for sure. I definitely had a guy where I would like, I would like. Spoil them. Like be cleaning his house for him and stuff. I'm like, why am I doing this? And've overdone it for sure. I definitely had a guy where I would like, I would like, Spoil them. Like be cleaning his house for him and stuff. I'm like, why am I doing this? And he obviously didn't like me. I did that too.

But I'd be like cleaning his house. And my house was like, meanwhile, like, you know, there's like, it's a full dumpster fire. And I'm like, well, how could I have time to clean my house? I'm too busy cleaning his. He's stressed out. He needs me to clean. It was like so weird.

I'm like, what happened to me? Yeah. That's why I'm obsessed with Shira Seven. Her whole philosophy. Yeah. Sprinkle, sprinkle. What is it? She's kind of hardcore though. I showed Tommy her videos and he's like, she's a dumb bitch. And I was like, what are her videos? What does she say? Basically, I think that, you know, this whole idea of like third world, third, third wave feminism of like girl boss and doing everything on your own is dead. She's, her idea is that you cannot attempt to search for equity, equality as a woman

when like you're not going to change patriarchy. So instead you game patriarchy. So she's basically like. Find a rich old man. Yeah. Marry him. And then they go, well, don't you embarrass me walking in a restaurant with an old man? And she goes, I'd be more embarrassed walking into a job.

Oh my God. That's hilarious. Funny Annie. So hilarious. She goes, sprinkle, sprinkle when she's done. She's like, what? I'm embarrassed that I have to clock into a job. That's embarrassing.

Hilarious. That is so funny. I don't care if I'm with a rich old man. It's so funny. But in a way, it's like she really is like brilliant because she's just like no like he works for me he worships me and yeah that's all I like it I find it entertaining and I think like it's good it's like a good thing to hear but not take it so literally but like I still like it a lot there's a lot of different types of people I feel like we get like caught

up and shit where it's like people like get so mad because like, well, I'm not like that. And it's like, some women are subservient. Some women are, aren't. Some women are like more alpha. It's like, everyone's kind of like in a range and you just find the people you like. Be who you truly are,

that the version of yourself that you're happiest with. And there's a person out there who compliments that well. Well, what's the worst? The worst thing you can do is like, try to make the person like you in the beginning because you're not even being your comfortable self. And then you're like, what if they, what if you do trick them

and then you're f***ing trapped? Also, the mask eventually falls off. Like whatever version you're trying to portray up front, like the, you know, you're going to have to drop the act at some point and people are gonna know who you really are so it's like just be that up front a little bit of an act though in the beginning how long have you and your guy been together a long time yeah like 11 years 11 years there's

been a lot of changes and growing what do you think your act was in the beginning with them i think that's a really good question i definitely remember because I don't remember a lot, but I remember going into a separate room to like stuff my face with cookies. No. He should have known that part. I know. And then like, yeah, I remember like we were watching TV in his living room and I went in a separate room and did that. And then that's when I was like, huh, this feels weird. And now obviously I can totally stuff my piece of cookies in front of him and it's way better.

But that was one thing where I was like, that's dark. Well, that kind of shows what you were like ashamed of about yourself. Yes, totally. Yeah. I just remember my first date with Todd when he came over, I bought him like this really crazy cupcake with like all this whipped cream on it. And he was like, I don't like cupcakes. And I was so betrayed.

I was like, because I'm obviously not going to eat this cupcake. I was like, guess I have two cupcakes. But I was like, but he doesn't like the dryness of cupcakes. I've just never met anyone in my life that doesn't like all things. A cupcake? He just isn't into cupcakes. And I remember being like, oh my God. Has he just not had a good one? Like, what's his problem? Yeah, cupcakes are f***ing amazing. He that doesn't like all foods. A cupcake. He just isn't into—and I remember being like, oh, my God. Has he just not had a good one?

Like, what's his problem? Yeah, cupcakes are f***ing amazing. He just doesn't like the dryness. And I'm like, I always bring presents for people. I always love presents. Me too, me too. And I'm like, you don't like my—I mean, it's okay. That's part of being a present giver.

Sometimes people don't like them, yeah? Exactly, exactly. And, Kalilah, you're in a new relationship? I am. I didn't even know that. Yeah. I'm so happy for you. I am.

Are you hiding anything currently? Like, is it still early enough where you have to hide from him? Or did you? No, because all my shit's out there. Was he a fan? Kalilah, was he a fan? Oh, God, no. No, no, no, no, no.

He's definitely not a fan. Doesn't give a shit, like, what I do or say. But that's at his fingertips if he chooses um what's hard i think is that when i first started dating him like i think some family members did find stuff about me and basically said oh she's like bad bad your family and but it it's not that serious i I mean, for me, it's like, ah, that's inevitable. Yeah. It's like, they're going to get to know me over time. And that's really all I can do.

And when you're a public figure, it's like, yeah, that's not the real you. And of course, people are going to want to consume it and have takes on it. And it just kind of makes sense. And when they know the real you, they won't feel that way. Yeah. Because, I mean, he's a very just a normal healthy guy i think i'm startling to dave's family really in a lot of ways like i know that they love me and i love them and but i could i could at least see it a justified she doesn't eat this girl she never eats she's so dangerous for

some reason there's always crumbs around her mouth it's like i never see anything notice the girl that doesn't eat wow yeah hey guys oh my gosh she's so delicate delicate little angel flower but like i just relate to that where it's like you're i i relate as like i'm like the crazy one that's like on camera and like they're like these quiet normal healthy people but that that is also a warm feeling. I think that's the feeling I get with my partner now is that like he really is so normal and so outside of this whole thing. He's not in entertainment at all. Not at all.

He's just like a good like salt of the earth type of person. He's like a farmer. And it's so grounding. Yeah. No, like pretty close, right? And it's so grounding. It's so opposite from this so it's like the moment I'm back with him like I don't live here anymore it's just this whole

other peaceful place I get to exist and it's nice do you guys live together no we don't do you feel like you and Tommy are like more opposites or similar like what's your guys dynamic I mean we're similar in so many ways. He's actually really clean, and I'm really clean. Like, we like a clean house. We're not, like, messy. Isn't that shocking? I would have expected him to be a fucking nightmare,

but he's so clean. Well, when you have to bring all your people to see you, to your house. It's crazy. Well, he's so meticulous, because he does the bonsai trees, too, right? And he does the bonsai trees, so he's, like, very meticulous and into cleanliness.

And, like, the only thing that we're different about is that like I have to shower like every day. I'm just like a very like that kind of person. So he's not clean in the sense that like he showers like maybe once every two weeks. Yeah. Like he hates showering. It's like throwing like a dog in the shower. Like it's time. You know what I mean?

Like I hit him with the hose. Like it's kind of crazy, dude. Yeah. Especially when you're drumming. Yeah. Like he's nasty and covered in dirt and then just, like, wants to get in bed. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like, I, like, put him in the shower with the dogs.

Like, I'm like, you guys are all getting a shower. Like, that's the only thing. But other than that, like, you know, he's actually, like, really calm and peaceful. Sober Tommy. Like, very calm, very peaceful, very zen. Like, last night we watched an hour and a half movie on Taoism. And like that's like what he's into.

Like he's just like a very zen. I swear he was like an old, like, I don't know, Buddha or something in his past life. Was your dad excited when you told him you were dating Tommy? My whole family thought I was dating Tommy Lee Jones. That's so funny. Okay, so that happened to us in the office. Yeah. With me? Yeah. Exactly. Everyone assumes Tommy Lee Jones. Okay. So that happened to us in the office. Yeah. With me. Yeah. Exactly. Everyone

assumes Tommy Lee Jones. Oh, Katie thought you were dating Tommy Lee Jones. Yeah. My aunt was like, I love men in black. I was like, wrong, wrong one. She's like, I thought he was a little old for you. I'm like, I'm dead. I'm like, no, mom, guys, I'm with the one that they would have also accepted Tommy Lee Jones. They did, but they were more excited about Tommy Lee Jones. They're like, he's friends with Will Smith. And I'm like, that's not so cool anymore. But, yeah, it's kind of funny. Like, they literally all thought it was Tommy Lee Jones.

And then when I was like, it's Tommy Lee from Motley Crue, they're like, oh, this guy was his ding-dong pierce. I'm like, yep. Are you okay, my dear? Yeah, it's like, they get worried for me. Yeah, but, like, you know, like, honestly, like, sober Tommy is so different. Like, thank God, because I couldn't handle drinking Tommy. Yeah.

When we got together, he was drinking, and I just, it was strange, because I was like, hmm, like, this is a lot of alcohol, you know, but he seemed like he could handle it. So I was kind of like, that's just rock star life. Like, I didn't really understand, you know, I didn't really, like, understand how bad it was. And then eventually I was like, hmm, yeah, he's got to go to rehab. I feel like you've handled his relapses with a lot of grace too though. Yeah. I mean, what am I going to do? It's like, and I know he always comes around. He doesn't like being drunk. He likes being present. I feel like it's so

hard to be in like a musician and not. Well, the worst thing is the people around you, because there's so many people from his past that try to enable drinking that will send alcohol to the house that will do things that i'm like fuck off like you guys are pieces of shit like just people that he used to party with you know they just want to keep that guy around and you know they offer him stuff knowing that he's sober and they get wasted around him. And I'm like, you guys are rude. Not that you have to be like not drinking around people that are sober, but to like be hanging on them with your drinks and shit.

You guys are dicks. Like that's just so gross. It's so nasty. Like a hot wine breath. Like get the fuck out of here. Oh, I do not like wine breath. Yeah. So I just there's a lot of that and a lot of pressure from like other people, other, you know, whatever, you know, They're always like, oh, come on, man, just a beer, whatever.

You're like, shut the fuck up. This person has alcoholism. That's like giving someone with diabetes, you want this giant cake all to yourself? You eat it. It's just horrible. It's rude. Yeah, but he does really well with it.

And people offer him a drink or something, and he'll say, not today. I'm good, not today. Instead of being like, oh, I'm not, I'm sober. So he has to put like that whole thing out there. I think a lot of people too, it's like, they just, like when I quit drinking, my friends were like, oh my God, but we had the best times together. It's just like, I don't know, like confronts people that are considering it themselves, you know? So then they're like, wait, you quit drinking? What does that say about me? Or whatever. And then the people that can't have fun without drinking or can't have a conversation without drinking,

you realize real quick who they are. Something that's really helped me that's really similar to like not today, my dad is a gambling addict and he was in like GA, whatever. He would always say like an addict, a person who's in their addiction would say, today's the last day. But if you're in recovery you would say i'm just gonna get through today today yeah so it's like so one day at a time yeah that's what it is one step at a time it's pretty crazy man speaking of we caught him sneaking out to a casino when my mom was in town but we could talk about that

another time he's fine though he's fine just a little little poker slip up it's yeah nothing he's okay he claims wow that's so cute that he's still at it a little bit yeah i know did he have like a like lose your house situation like it was getting there but it's not like that now it's more just like and i i do actually support his like here and there poker playing. I think it's okay. Yeah. You guys give him like fake money. Your dad. Have fun. It's like all plastic.

It's just a completely fake casino. I think it's a really good monopoly. That's actually a great idea. Wait, that's a really good, I think, way to deter him from gambling altogether is if you're like, you can play, but just with me and mom. Yeah. I would never play again. No, he likes it. Oh, really? He likes it?

We did that for his birth, his 80th birthday. We played poker with him and he was having so much fun. It was really, it was cute. I can't believe your dad's 80. He looks great. Thank you. He really does. I saw him at your premiere.

He's up there. But, oh, and then he, when he was in town, like Dave was gone. So someone needed to start his car. So he went and started dave's car for us and he's like i saw some poker chips in dave's car like he gets so jealous and triggered by dave's poker habits does dave play poker yeah wow i bet he found some chips in your car different yeah he's like an estrus car is just full of lays everywhere hilarious oh my god well Brittany

thank you so much thanks for having me you were like the dream guest I love you guys I'm so grateful to be here I love all of you

so much like I'm so happy to be here and I'm so proud of you I know you talked about your movie but I'm just so excited thank you for being

in it like so cool you know she goes back with Robert Schwartzman I was yeah I used to be Robert's put me in like almost

all of his movies. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. When we found out he knew you and he was pitching, you were like, duh. He's the best. Him and his wife. And you and Nick have worked together. Yeah, a long time ago on a Simon Rex thing.

Like, so it's so cool. And it was so cool to see everyone there. Like, I was like, oh, my God, just everyone from back in the day. And you got me one of my first tv jobs i did yeah writing on the no which one was it um the one what prank my mom prank my mom yeah yeah yeah i had you guys yes we're like we i i think you were producing or something and i was like on lifetime yep i was pretending in our one of the sketches that we did, our scenes, whatever you'd call it.

Like I, a girl was pranking her mom, telling her she was dating a Mormon guy. And I was like one of the sister wives. We're like, hello. It was, it was really funny. Thanks for making me remember that. My God. I used to do all these prank shows. It was so funny.

Such a different time. But that was really fun. I remember to do all these prank shows. It was so funny. Such a different time. But that was really fun. I remember Vivica Fox was the host. It was like so random. Like, girl, you were in Kill Bill. Like, what are you doing here? Like, it was so random. She was just hosting it.

But like early LA days, I feel like you were always calling and hooking everybody up with I always tried to help everybody all the time. I still do. Yeah. It's fun. It's nice when you're like, meet nice people. Yeah, of course. Because then there's like mean people that are like fun. It's nice when you're like meet nice people. Yeah, of course. Because then there's like

mean people that are like just want to step on you or like not. I can't stand that, dude. Like, oof. You're also a Vine queen. We love your Vines. Oh, my God.

So funny. Literally a superstar. Brittany, your podcast with the other Brittany. Oh, yes. Oh, so I started a podcast. This is the worst, which was like

take off of worst first. My old podcast, which you guys did. That's right. We've been on it. Yeah. And so This Is The Worst is a continuation where basically it's like anything that was the worst. So like, you know, Worst First started usually with Worst First Date.

Now we're talking about anything that's the worst, like worst drug trip, worst funeral, worst, you know, haunted experience, worst, you know, sexual experience, everything. So it's really fun. I do it with Brittany Schmidt and we just started, we did like five episodes so far, but it's been going really, really well. And you guys talk about topical stuff too. I've seen some of the clips. They're really funny. We talk about everything. Yeah. I love getting your take on random shit. Like it's so good. Yeah. You guys are great together too. We have

a lot of fun. She's like more like like she's actually more of like the jokey one and I'm like more of the serious one which is so strange. Yeah she'll crack jokes about anything. I can be talking about the most like macabre thing

and she'll like make it a joke. Oh my god. Yeah she's dark. But I feel like you're such a silly always jokester. I'm so silly but compared to her

she'll like make a joke where it's like you wouldn't put a joke you know what I mean? Like you're like whoa. It's crazy. No she's great. She's really fun. Oh my god. So yeah it's like you wouldn't put a joke. You know what I mean? Like, you're like, whoa. Like, it's crazy. No, she's great. She's really fun.

Oh, my God. So, yeah, it's been really fun. Well, everyone, check out Brittany's podcast, Worst Firsts. Yeah, this is the worst. This is the worst. Sorry, that's your old one. That's my old one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's all good. This is the worst. Everywhere you listen to podcasts. And it's on YouTube as well. Yeah, it's on YouTube too. Yeah. And we'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode yay bye guys i'm very grateful i think these past three years have been really incredible

incredible for my career um i think for all of us it's been special and um i'm really proud of what we created and all of fans and you guys. I just am really feeling called to start some new projects and sort of streamline my life a little bit. I've just been worn really thin and feel like I'm not showing up anywhere my best. This was like a really scary decision to make and like a very emotional one and not a quick one,

but I am like really excited about the future. I'm excited to see what you guys create in my absence like a very emotional one and not a quick one, but I am like really excited about the future. I'm excited to see what you guys create in my absence and I'm excited to see whatever comes my way and the projects that I get to focus on and everything. I mean, it's weird to say, but you know, I'm really excited. I'm proud of you guys and everything. And I did obviously get you guys some presents.

What? That's what I do. I didn't get to wrap them in time, but Kalilah's usually still in this. Yours isn't as good, but... That's such a sad one. But it's like, yours is just so good. I love things in Amazon bags. What is it? This is

a Cudio? It's a dog leg brace for all of your future draggy leg dogs. This is so sweet. Thank you. And then this is for your goth baby. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's baby Doc Martin. I was biting my tongue when she brought Doc Martins up. I was like, oh my God. By the way, she won't be able to fit these till she's 20. You can wear them for now. You can wear them while you deliver. These are so funny and cute.

Thank you, Annie. And obviously, like, we, it's a crazy situation, like, to be saying goodbye. But, like, you know, we, just what you said, it's like, I am so grateful for what we've all done the last three years I think it's like literally just magical and millions of people start podcasts you have no idea what's going to happen and the fact that we've been able to do so much and impact so many people and have so much in common and then all of us have so much not in common. It's just been really fun. And we support you like in whatever endeavors you do, we'll be rooting for you and we'll be here. And I think it's really exciting. I love like, you know, obviously we're sad to lose you, but like I love when someone wants to make a life change. Like, yeah, a hard pivot is, is something that I've been

raving about. I think that, um, things are not made to last. If you stick to doing just one thing forever, you're not necessarily like growing and reaching like your optimal self. We support you. Um, this, I know this wasn't wasn't easy, but also it's like, this is three years of amazing content. So it's like, like there's nothing to scoff at. That's like, you know, and things just move in different directions.

Esther is having a baby, a lot of big changes this year. She just found out. Boy, what did you say, bitch? You're pregnant, bitch.

I know for myself, it is going to be a very very different year for me more to come on that you have an exciting baby of sorts yeah and I think that it's okay for I I think it's okay like change is okay people moving on is okay and we fully support you and thank you for doing this with us for three years. And, um, you know, I wish you nothing but the best. I hope that, um, you find fulfillment and peace and all the things that, you know, you've always set out to do in this life. And yeah, Annie, congrats to us for doing this for three years. I think that's amazing. I think this is like a happy, cool thing.

And like, I'm like, oh, I'll see you less. But you know me, like I'm a fan. I'll be watching what you do. So I can, that's a great thing about having friends who are podcasters. You can just like consume their entertainment and you feel like you're hanging out and you can press pause and then return so and I'm really I'm really very proud of you for uh sorry oh no like I think one of the things that's like really amazing about you is something that I kind of like lack is that you're really willing to you're able to do

like a lot of things at once and I really like can't you know like you were able to do this whole movie and how about we have like multiple businesses you you know, and it's like, it's just, I'm really like, I've been just really worn thin. But Annie, listen, like I'm kind of similar to you in that I've always been, I have to really allocate my energy wisely or else I'm just not the best version anywhere. Yeah. I just feel like I'm like dropping the ball like everywhere I go. If you feel burnt out, if you feel like you just need to take a step back, reconfigure whatever it is that you need to reconfigure, I think that's the nicest thing you can do for yourself in the moment.

And I'm excited. Like I'm excited to see like everything that comes from this. I think a shakeup is always good. I think it's like scary because this is like, this has been really like a comfort and like knowing and like, you know, it's, it's just something really like known and especially with the new producers and everything. It's been really incredible, but I just have to like be able to focus. I'm like really excited to like be able to focus on my special and some of the

projects I've been working on. That's huge. Yeah. We want you to go fly. We want you to spread your wings, however you want to spread your wings and we know we're just thankful that you know we've been able to do this for this yeah it was really it's been don't forget that i did a podcast with rick glassman for like 14 episodes so this is a really big deal and one thing that i think applies here it's like I'm so proud of Rick and I for starting that. And then also for deciding to stop it. Like I, I'm just very much like the second something isn't right or, you know, whatever, I'm just repeating myself, but we're like, I think this is really cool. I think it's going to be awesome. Yeah. And we don't want you guys to check out, obviously, like we,

you know, there are going to be a lot of changes along the way but we hope that you stay for the ride and we hope you stay for those changes because yeah it's going to be an incredible year for all of us yeah and and obviously you know we've been aware of this for a few weeks now and so we've we've all here been like talking and planning and so we're really excited you know we're excited to see what Annie does and we're excited for what we're planning and like you guys are still slugs okay you're still our slugs everything is good everything's exciting it's like I think it's like important to take risks and and leave yeah yes and to change. And you guys can always see me on Thursdays on Annie Wood, my solo podcast.

We support you. And thank you. And yeah, like fucking go kill it. Go crush it. Yeah, you guys too. I had a dream that you were also pregnant and I was actually pissed. I was like, guys, I feel like you're putting pressure on me. You guys are wrong about the one lazy eye. They're both lazy.

Maybe one eye is parking and the other one is straight. I'll be the hemorrhoid girl. If I had to call Last Call at a Bar, I would lose my mind. I would be like, shots, shots! I am becoming like weirdly attracted to her. Something's happening. I'm like friend crushing. I'm like, I'm trying. weirdly attracted to her. Something's happening. I'm like friend crushing. I'm like, I'm trying.

I'm calling her. I will give the best gummy blowjobs to strangers to stay in first class. My mom watches this. He versus poop. That's this episode, guys. Cute, Esther. But like, does touching it do anything for you? Like, are you?

It's all like smooth and cute.