Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Jingle Balls and Chicken Cutlets - Ep 148

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors:  BetterHelp - In the season of giving, give yourself what YOU need -- with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/trashtuesday today to get 10% off your first month. Rocket Money - Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscription - and manage your money the easy way - by going to rocketmoney.com/trashtuesday. Quip - If you go to getquip.com/trashtuesday, RIGHT NOW, you’ll get 20% off any Electric Toothbrush or Mint & Gum Dispenser. Plus, listeners of this show will get an exclusive 20% off discount on the Shantell Martin Collection Bundle. Quip, the good habits company. DraftKings - Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW and sign up with promo code TRASHTUESDAY and play FIVE DOLLARS to get ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASINO CREDITS!. The crown is yours. For you! For a friend! Trash Tuesday Merch!! Get it at https://itstrashtuesday.com/   Trash Tuesday LIVE in Los Angeles! February 13, 2024. Get tickets at: https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/09005F85033B7EE2 See Esther on tour. Check out dates at estheronice.com See Annie on tour. Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows 00:00 - Khalaya Borrows a Sweater from Her Furry Roommate 01:36 - Esther Tour Dates 01:52 - Annie Tour Dates 02:35 - Christmas Pajamas 05:21 - A Scan of Your Life 11:20 - Chicken Cutlets on the Dance Floor 12:00 - Holiday Plans 20:05 - Esther’s Future Christmases with Kids 21:45 - Santa Realness 27:05 - Opening Presents on Christmas Eve 28:32 - Church is Fun! 33:13 - Artificial vs Real Trees 34:15 - How Long Do You Keep the Tree Up Past December 25th? 35:40 - Channeling Anxiety to Something Useful (Cleaning!) 40:15 - Annie’s Infusion 43:35 - A New Purse Journey 48:35 - Gifts! 50:52 - Christmas Movies 57:17 - I’m Really Trying Not To Pop-Off Right Now 59:00 - Trash Tuesday Goes to The Movies 65:26 - Feliz Navidad   Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392   Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  🍬  https://www.candyedits.com     Produced by: Real Good Touring & Ten42 Podcast Producer(s): Stella Young & Julien Bensimhon   This Video Contains Paid Advertising

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this tag say it says oh my god she's making me it says are a dog a doggy go that's because i couldn't find a christmas outfit today and i'm wearing my dog scarf i was like this is how codependent this bitch is she even shares clothes with her dog's scarf. I was like, you know what? This is how codependent this bitch is. She even shares clothes with her dog. Well, no, because I was like, I got the memo or the reminder yesterday to be like, hey, it's a Christmas themed episode. I'm like, oh, shit. So I was like, let's go full Christmas cowgirl.

But I didn't have the scarf. So I ripped this off my dog's neck. We all look like we're at extremely different holiday parties. Wait, but can I say that I am also Western Christmas? No. Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

Wow. What is with you? I'm hybrid. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. In the season of giving, give yourself what you need. With BetterHelp, visit BetterHelp.com slash Tr trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash trash Tuesday. If you go to getquip.com slash trash Tuesday right now,

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rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Happy Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy all those things. I am so excited. This Thursday, I am at the Comedy Store with another Annie Wood and Friends December

21st. I have Johnny Pemberton, Josh Potter, and Bobby Lee. It's going to be so fun. Then you can see me in January. I'm going to Edmonton, Alberta. I'm going to Jacksonville, Florida, January 19th and 20th. I'm going to be again in Annie Wood, another Annie Wood at the Comedy Store. Then I'll be in Denver, Colorado in February and in Vancouver the Comedy Store. Then I'll be in Denver, Colorado in February and in Vancouver. And in March, I'll be in Washington, D.C. I'm adding so many more shows. So go to AnnieLetterman.com slash shows to see them.

I love performing for you. I love meeting you guys. I can't wait. I would never have considered Western Christmas. Well, your what is yours? Mine is pajama holiday. That's how we do it in my family. Well, your what is yours? Mine is pajama holiday. That's how we do it in my family. Well, this is like opening presents.

Yeah. This is like trying to get knocked up to match Esther. My family is so lazy. Every year is pajama. Do you guys all have matching pajamas? No, we just come in in pajamas. It doesn't even need to be Christmas themed pajamas. It's just pajamas.

That always teases my mom because she just is constantly in pajamas. Oh. When she's walking around the house, she's like, there she goes, the boy in the striped pajamas. She wears like the old school ones with the actual like stripes down, like the very, you know what I mean? My mom and dad both wear nightgowns. Okay. Wow. Okay.

Both of them wear nightgowns. So if we were to do a Christmas in our pajamas, I'm seeing my dad's dick and balls. An old man in a nightgowns okay wow okay both of them are nightgowns so if we were to do a christmas in our pajamas i'm seeing my dad's dick and balls an old man in a nightgown rules but he wears like he has a coca-cola one and then there and it comes with like a hat but he doesn't wear the hat like my dad is nightgown that's your dad is a christmas decoration like my dad's a christmas home should have an old man and he has the jingle balls wait now my dad used to wear this thing not for christmas but every day around the house this thing called a i think they're called galabias or jelabias but my dad's family um he spent a good amount of time in egypt so it's like you know just the one long dark like a garb oh no like a

like a long-sleeved like a garb yeah. Yeah. And that's just what he was. He looked like a wizard all year long around the house. Was he wearing a pointy hat? He was. Yeah, and my mom is like so annoying with everything. She's like, if you get her a nightgown, it has to be like 100% cotton. There can't be like any other thing. And so you're like, oh, she's always got like a Tweety bird or something because it's like the ones that come is 100 percent cotton. Wait, why, though? What's like the. She's just everything itches her. She's a little bit like someone I know. Well, I was going to say 100 percent cotton is like the time over the pandemic and Whitney made the Whitney camp shirts.

Oh, yeah. She wears like an oversized Whitney camp shirt, which is so cute. Wait, my mom wears a ton of Whitney merch, too. Our moms don't like us. They like me. They're using us to get to Whitney like everyone else in our lives. By the way, my mom wears all of your merch, so. Oh.

And buys it. Wait, so we had like a little check-in, Kalilah? Let me see. I feel anxious and I don't know why. Do you feel like biting someone? Why? Because of your dog scar. I'm channeling Leo.

Oh my God, she's like Benji. She's going to start turning into the dog in the movie Benji. I'm channeling. Oh my God. She's like Benji. She's going to start turning into the dog, the movie Benji. I'm really proud of you that you noticed that this was my dog scarf, actually. Now I feel anxious. You know, like those days where you are just sweating and maybe your body's operating at a level like that's not connecting to any like thoughts in your head. So I came here, I was driving here and I was sweating. Isn't it weird when you feel, yeah, you feel anxiety and then you have to do like a scan of your life. I usually I'm on Adderall. I go like, you know, seriously, like you're like, I'm feeling anxious. Did I do something? And then I'm like, oh, I took Adderall.

And I think it's because I had a nocturnal panic attack last night. And I'm always like, is this a nocturnal panic attack or is this my heart condition kicking off again? Which then gives you the panic attack. And then it spirals into a panic attack and I was alone and I haven't been in the ER in over a year, which I'm really proud of. You went? No, no, I didn't. I like sat down. I calmed myself down. I didn't know where I was. I was like sweating. It was just, it's a scary thing. And I think that's why I'm anxious today, but I'm hopeful that the day will turn around. Okay. Just heads up. I'm great in emergency rooms and I'm up all night. You were going to, I would go

with you. But her point is that she hasn't gone in a year and she doesn't want to go. If she needs someone to go. Yeah. Like I'm holding my, my, cause I have, um, I carry a 10 LL. It's the beta blocker in case. Um, and I'll do all the things like I'll put ice on my face and do all of the things. But I sit there and I'm like, at what point is my heart rate going to go down or is it just going to speed up? And you're always like, should I wake Jules up? Should I sound the alarm? And then finally it settled back and I was able to go back to sleep. But those nights are not easy for me. Those are my feelings today, Stella. Do you have any like emergency like panic attack 911? Like for me, it would be like if I'm having like something serious, like for example, when I was like having weed,

if I took too much, half a Xanax, everything's fine. Do you have like some kind of emergency tablet for that? Or is that like a beta blocker for you? But the beta blocker is basically to bring down because I have an arrhythmia. So it just takes down my heart rate because it'll shoot up to 200. Is it like propranolol? Similar, yeah. Propranolol is a beta blocker too. We learned about those in acting class because like our acting teacher would say,

if you get nervous for auditions, take a beta blocker. Yeah. And it literally works. How are you guys feeling i'm feeling pretty good i have my show at the comedy store tonight so i'm excited about that it's headlining post-pregnancy being public is there's still like a little pieces pieces of the puzzle that i'm figuring out order wise so I kind of have to work on that this afternoon um but I'm overall excited like I have some new material I'm like just excited to share

I think that's like it for how I feel today do you feel as though like your creative juices are flowing more now that you're pregnant yeah and I think it I don't know if it is because I'm pregnant or if it's because the three months I spent completely useless, miserable, sick first trimester in bed shut out from the world. Being out of that slowly, I'm like, let's go. Like, I just feel like a hunger for every little element of life. I'm like, oh, my God, I want to like just take a daily walk. Just like I just am so, or catch up with a friend, like every little thing, like even when I'm coming here, I'm like, oh, something different, something exciting.

I just really am, and I don't know, hopefully that will last or probably, everything is going to change. There's no predicting what will happen. I know, it's weird that you have to, it's almost like topical jokes that you're doing because you're going to change. There's no predicting what will happen. I know it's weird that you have to it's almost like topical jokes that you're doing because you're going to not be pregnant at some point. Oh for that? Well yeah I didn't even think about that but I meant everything's going to change like oh I hope I keep this enthusiasm but like in three months the pregnancy might suck again and then in three months after, I'm going to have a baby.

And who knows? I might just be only enthusiastic about my baby. But yeah, no, I definitely, I'm excited about the pregnancy material though. You're going to have so much like stuff too after the baby's born too. I didn't even think that, I never even considered in this moment that I wouldn't be pregnant one day. You're taking a day by day. Yes. You're in the moment.

Yeah. Annie, how are you today? I'm doing good. I got a spray tan. I drove two hours to get a spray tan last night. Where? Why and where? Because my girl was busy.

She was, you know, I was in between Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus, so I had to get there. And it's no big deal. But I do have hyperhidrosis, so the armpits are always white. We're going to go and see Dr. Cohen. And then my spray tan's no big deal. But I do have hyperhidrosis, so the armpits are always white. We're going to go and see Dr. Cohen. And then my spray tan is going to roll. But I did yoga this morning, and they were like, let's do everything against the wall. And so I was doing these back poses against the wall, and I left all this spray tan. Just the form of my back, just with my sports bra not there, is just on the wall forever. I forgot to clean it. My bad. But yeah, no, I woke up. I've been listening

to a new meditation that's like really makes me like buzz in the morning. So it's been like keeping me really high vibes. And then I went to a really cool yoga class. The place that I go to, which I will never mention, they're very cool. It's like a different it's weird yoga. It's like every class is really different. So it's like fun. I get out of my head. I can't like expect what's going to happen. I don't know. I just feel really excited about that. I woke up at seven to find this. I'm just in awe of how many costumes you have, but how every time we have a theme, you find it. Yeah. Well, I got up early for it because I was like, otherwise I was just going to wear like red pants. No offense. But I just like, I don't know. I've always kept this because I know it's gonna be Christmas again

you're gonna know I really feel like shit about myself when I stop wearing this is it from the holiday episode last year I saw no it's from Hawaii oh yeah I do it every year wait I just one second sorry I think your nipple no it's kind of just no no no just actual nipple yeah I'm showing my chicken cutlets you know I show my show my dents. I show my tracks. One of my biggest traumas in my life is my chicken cutlet falling out from underneath my bra on a dance floor. And then my friend picking it up and being like, your titties, girl, your titties. Okay, I would 100% be that friend. And to me, that would be one of my favorite memories.

When I was a go-go dancer, I used to wear them and I would be sweating and they would like slide up and people would be like, your titty thing showing. People were like, your chicken cutlet. And they all thought I was transgender or a drag queen because there was one drag queen that danced with me. And they would like, and she would duct tape her. Well, he, she wouldn't be he, but duct tape. And some people would always like, do you have duct tape it's the shoulders the mustache the voice how are we all feeling about our holiday plans like what are we doing what are we excited about have you decorated yet i personally don't dabble in decorating i thought you were gonna go full force this christmas this is her full force i bought these holiday themed pajama pants at old navy what do you have a question why did you make the trailers these were the only ones they had left in my size for maternity but then they looked

I like patterned like really obvious by maternity do you mean kids section because those are still very tiny oh my god it's the teen pregnancy section. Teen maternity. Matinity. But like, okay, no, I haven't decorated. But I do think once we have a kid, like that's when I'm going to really invest in. Getting them to do it for you. Yeah. In like going full. I remember Trisha Paytas like on October 1st, she's like, we're doing Halloween themed stuff every day. I was like, Dave, that's going to be us.

You don't understand. But I'm really excited for my holiday plans because I'm doing a long trip home. How long is long? Like 10 days. Do you and Dave always spend Christmas together? Not always. No, but he's coming with me for part of the trip. And then my childhood best friend will be there and we're going to go to the new Cosmics in Bolingbrook, Illinois. And I'm just like excited to, hope it snows i want to listen

to christmas music i want to go shopping after christmas at for sales like at the mall i just want to be like low-key basic as as basic as i can be and i'm like looking forward to that a lot yeah it's almost sad it's not sad at all. That sounds so cozy and delicious. But it's sad how much I need it. No, it's good. You're about to have a very different house. Wait, tell me about your guys' holiday plans.

I've already decorated the exterior of my home, but not like my sister does. Like my sister goes like full like Clark Griswold, right? Like she is with all the lights and all the reindeers and the inflatables. She does all of that. I kept it chic this year. I just have some lights hanging outside my window.

I have a wreath. And then I didn't want to get the tree yet because I felt like it was going to dry out by Christmas and give me allergies. So I'm getting the tree tomorrow. And I'm going to be spending it with my family. We do it Filipino style. We order Filipino food. We play parlor games.

You order. There's no cooking. Some cooking. It's half and half. But things like crispy pata and stuff, they're harder to cook. So we just order it. And then…

I don't quite know what that is, but I want it. It's like deep fried… It's pork. Do you eat pork? Okay. Settle. Stay. If you Google crispy pata,

I feel like Annie might come. I want it. Esther, squeeze my fake nipple. So it's in LA, your Christmas. Yeah. I'm going to spend half of it, or right before Christmas, I'm going to be in Hawaii with my friends and loved ones. And then I come back right before Christmas to hang out with my friends and loved ones

here. Oh, cute. Yeah. And that's crispy patty, Annie. You had it at my party. I was eating flan, bitch. I was eating flan. Kalilah had a flan this big.

No, it was really this big. It was literally this big. It was amazing. Yeah. Did you make that flan? No, no, no. Some, it was my friend's coworker. It was just a random lady.

It wasn't even from a shop. That's so crazy. She was like, let's make the biggest flan in the world. That's the coolest friend's co-worker. It was just a random lady. It wasn't even from a shop. That's so crazy. She was like, let's make the biggest flan in the world. That's the coolest thing I've ever seen. It was this big. And do you do Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve.

Same. Yeah, so. When you were little, did you guys do? At night, right? Yeah. Yeah. We used to do, Christmas Eve was one present. You would get one present from the family.

And then you would, we would all sleep together in the room. We'd sleep in my older brother Timmy's room. It was so exciting. Wait, all the kids only or the parents? You're so funny. Parents, no. You're like real slumber party with everyone. Like seven people in a small bedroom is like a dream. Well, we woke up to Timmy lived on the third floor. So we would think we could hear Santa on the roof. So we would go up there and we, it was so hard to go to sleep and my brother had

this like little alarm clock he would set for seven yeah I'll never forget that alarm clock and we would like sleep on the floor all three of us and we would like the minute we woke up we would just like door Timmy would go check for us he would run down but and then Santa would leave like a trail of Hershey kisses all the way the stairs, all the way down to the tree. Oh, plainer swirled. All different kinds. All different kinds. All different kinds.

And I will say, how did they hurt when you stepped on them? Like an actual slicing point. And you would run downstairs. And then so we had our one present the night before. And then we would go down and we would get our presents. And it was, they were bikes. We were so spoy. We were spoy, spoy, spoyilt that's how Todd's mom says it one of my favorite naughty

memories is like me and my sister when when everything was quiet by the tree at my grandparents house because we did every Christmas in Minnesota we would my sister was like okay so you know I'm we're kind of like slobs right like? Like rip through things. It's really hard. Just a hard life. Cry, this isn't what I wanted. Hard lifestyle, right? So, but my sister, much like my mom, they're like perfectionists. They can do any little meticulous thing.

So, my sister and I would go to the tree before Christmas Eve when it's quiet. And my sister would use her perfectionist skills and open the gifts. And we would see what was in there. And I was always like, yes, she's so useful. And I'm like, I find myself like thinking about that. I'm like, that was fun, Sister Vaughn, even though it was naughty. My old homeschooled like super Christian neighbors, they were hoarders and they loved Rush Limbaugh. They would reuse all the wrapping paper.

So to open the wrapping paper, they would take a butter knife and very carefully slice everything open and fold the paper up to use again. That's kind of like green. That's kind of not Republican. That's very like my mom. She opens things so she doesn't tear the paper. So she saves it for another time. My sister and my mom do that too. Wait, but you didn't tell us what are your

Christmas plans this year? Christmas plans. They're kind of still up in the air because I'm going to go see my nieces. So my older brother and the boys are going to Disney on Ice, which I'm actually livid about because I feel like I'm more fun than Disney on Ice, not to sound narcissistic. But have you been to Disney on Ice no I'm not a Disney but it's pretty great we used to do that when I was little we got some bootleg version in the Philippines I don't think we got the real one but it was like one of my core memories you know what my one sister right well my one sister why are only the boys going to Disney on Ice because it's their family like my sister-in-law decided-law decided, and my brother's like, they're not going to like it, but maybe they will.

But so they're doing that on the 26th. Now that kind of cock blocks us all being in Boston together. So now I'm like, okay, we could do Todd's family for Christmas. We do a Secret Santa anyway, and I'm very excited about who I get, and I can't give away any hints. Because they might watch this show. You're getting spoiled. We're like, so we'll do Secret Santa with them and then we'll drive up to Boston and see my nieces. But I got my niece the best present. It's like exactly what she wants. She wants the Stanley Cup that survived. All the kids want it. That's like the Gen Z. I have the

list of all the hottest Gen Z gifts. It's so cute. So she wants it really bad. So then I got her like the one that's sold out. Like I searched everywhere like this fluorescent pink one. And I got a small one for her and a big one for me. So it's like we have matching. Cute. And then I'm getting stickers of like her cat and pictures of us together. So she can stick them on. But she wants, she's like, I don't want like the pink shiny one.

And that's the one I got her. And I spent like over $200. It's like you f***. But I was like, she's want she goes like eBay or something eBay I just searched I'm like nothing nothing will stop me to get what my girl wants but then she's like I don't want that one she's like I want the white one and I went you're not gonna be basic I went to her I go I know you're a kid you can't have the white one I went I know it's cool auntie knows what's cool I'm cooler than any of your friends and anyone you know, and you know that. And so she's going to freak out, and I think that we have the matching ones.

And then I have to get something for my baby niece. It's classy trash. I have a couple specific kid Christmas questions that I would like to ask you. Now that you have a kid, will you be doing Christmas photos and sending them like the Kardashians do? Okay, so a long time ago when Dave and I were early in our relationship, he once casually said that if we ever have kids, we're not allowed to have Christmas or Hanukkah. Now...

She's marrying the Grinch. He... But why? I think it was a conversation that, like, me and a couple friends were having about, like, Christmas or Hanukkah. And Dave is just... He has these phases you know these modes like for example one year he asked for me to get this book for him it's called It's Better to Have Never Been Born like he's just kind

of a contrarian. He's giving that to the kid? It's a baby book? I like the idea of intuitive parenting for my I would say for myself it whatever, like, what can you plan? Feels right at that time. And I think Dave has since gone back on his rule of no holidays. I mean, he's going to have to. Didn't you say you want your kid to be goth? It's kind of goth to have no holidays. Well, goth, like, in appearance.

But light. I just really want her to have dark hair. That's all I really meant by that. And we will henna dye that shit. Okay, so the next question that we have for you, Esther, is the Santa Claus. If you say you do celebrate Christmas with your child, how are you going to handle it? Are you going to lie to your kid about Santa Claus? We've talked about this on the show before, which you guys, I think we all, I just, you both disagree with me.

I think this is like a big point of contention. But has your mind changed since? No, I'm not lying to my child and making up a story. You're going to ruin their childhood. It's here's what it will be. FOMO for life. Santa is a make-believe story that we play pretend is happening. It's not real. It's just we're going to have play pretend. tell the story. Santa's coming. Exciting. I'm pulling her aside and going, your mom's lying. Santa's real.

She's tricking you. She's being a weirdo about it. I don't know why. The aunties will fuck it up for you. Because it's – okay, so with my – I'm going to give like a trigger warning to my sister-in-law so she doesn't listen to this in front of my niece that I don't think she does anyway because I say curse words. But my niece is 11. Okay. Okay. She put on lip gloss to meet Santa and this year they're like we have to like I was over there when she was nine. When she was

nine we were like I was there the night we were like gonna tell her that Santa's not real but she was so like excited about him that we're like no and then she put on lip gloss she asked him for her cell phone. So I think she might know but but it's like, what a manipulation to be like, to pretend you still know. But they were like, sat down and they were going to tell her. And then she was so excited about it that they just were like, abort, abort, abort. Let her have her fun as long as she can. I think for me, I liked writing letters. It was the first time that I knew I could express myself on paper and ask for, reflect on the year before.

So it was like, this is what happened in my year in a very childish way, of course. This is what I'm looking forward to. These are the things that I feel I deserve. But it was a place for my feelings and thoughts and my wishes and dreams. And then I would seal it, put it in North Pole. And I knew that it was sealed. I sent, Kalilah, I just sent a list of things. I didn't say Dear Santa.

Really? Maybe I said Dear Santa, give me these. Thank you. So I carry that on to my adulthood. I only stopped a couple years ago. It was like a Dear Santa long letter, but it was just a year of reflection. Why would you stop now? You know, now I just tell my therapist.

Did Esther finally tell you Santa's not ready? She ruined Christmas for you? I didn't know until then. I love that you did that. And I feel like that could still happen in a make-believe way. Yeah, maybe. Maybe you should write him some poetry. When I lie to my niece about it, I feel really bad.

Like, it feels really weird. Wait, but are kids shattered when they find out? Because I was not shattered. You were shattered? I was so shattered. How old were you? I i mean it's because i figured it out on my own when i was like six and it was like christmas is ruined like and everything's a lie you know why you guys were shattered i was not because adults who you loved and trusted were lying to you esther i agree you're an actress they were playing it was a. They were playing. It was a stage. They were playing. They were acting. Yet that's the version that I will do is we're playing Santa.

I just, I, look, I think it's cool. It's magical. It's not for me. If your f***ing kid tells people, that's where the problem is. Yeah, that's true. I'm not going to encourage that. I'm just going to say, look. So you're going to make her be a liar?

No, I'm going to say, look. Are you going to lie or is she going to lie? Because you're ruining people's Christmas. If some of your friends are stupid enough to believe that Santa is real, let's just let them be. I figured it out on my own. But then when I figured it out, I didn't—I loved watching my parents because it was—you know, I didn't have an easy childhood. But this was like the time for ceasefire where, like, everything—this was the only time, I didn't have an easy childhood. So, but this was like the time for ceasefire where like everything, this was the only time like my mom was like, I will stop dying.

Yeah. He stopped dying. My mom was like kind to me because the downside is persona non grata were then invited back into the family. And it's like, why is my molester at Christmas dinner? You know what I mean? Anyways, dressed as Santa. He He is Santa. But for me, it was like, I really appreciated that my parents went above and beyond. And I'm like, I already know it's not real, but they're still creating this thing for me. They're working towards your joy. And it was the one time I truly felt like loved by them.

I'm like, oh, they don't have to do this. My mom has beat me between January to November. And now we have December and she's going to be red and green for the holiday. She just wanted you to match. Yeah. So I wasn't shattered. I just, I think I wanted to carry on the fantasy of it all because they were nice to me over Christmas. But again, that still would work in my scenario. Yeah. I I'm starting to kind of side with you a little bit, but I do wonder. I want to see how it plays out. And isn't it crazy, though? Like, I'm feeling that same experience, like, as you right now, almost like, oh, my God, the holidays. It's all about nostalgia. And so creating those memories when you're young, then it's like every year you have this little secret access code to memories, nostalgia. I don't know, like every Christmas decoration,

it just puts you in a good mood. And so for me, like it doesn't have to be about religion. It doesn't even have to be about presents. It's just like, oh, this music and these colors. I mean, the presents, though. Presents were great. Hey, Meg, when you were a kid. Okay. So the answer, the verdict is, Esther, we're going to tell the kid. What age are you going to say, hey, Santa is a make-believe thing it's always gonna be make-believe

okay from the moment they ask yeah even at like two years old it's a play pretend story do they have the conceptual ability we'll get a book

we'll read the book and then we'll be like let's pretend this got it okay and we'll do that for every book we'll pretend every book and we'll play

the bible I'm gonna get so into playing i'm like very excited to play we also we open presents on christmas eve and then maybe it's like oh these are the santa get like small gifts on the morning we did i forgot too we would go we would get our stockings go up to our parents wake our parents up do stockings in bed and then go down and open our presents oh cute my mom would make like eggs and bacon and if my grandfather was there he would make slow cooked bacon that was just bacon on low for five hours smells the whole house up you're so hungry you're like poppy are they it's still cooking give me the fucking bacon did you guys go to church that's what we do

christmas eve we went to church this is what i was gonna ask you you know the 20 celebrating on the 24th like noche buena and stuff is a very like brown people thing to do. Like I always thought like when waking up in breakfast, Christmas breakfast and opening gifts was like what we considered very a white tradition. So like I'm surprised that you guys do. These are Noche Buena. They're brown people. Yeah, they're brown people. I'm surprised you guys do it on the 24th.

I love that. That is interesting. It might be because like we're not super religious. So maybe it's like the more religious people do Christmas Day. But you did go to church. Did you go to church on like Easter too or just on Christmas? No, only on Christmas Eve, but that's because we were always at my grandparents' house and they were churchgoers. So we just like pretended like we did that too. But not like midnight mass, right? No, my friend did. I always wanted to do that. And sometimes- That does sound like almost sleepover church yeah there is a feeling that is there is a feeling midnight mass is really

special in that way like even if you're not religious it's like you see everyone's like up past midnight and you're like wow why are we doing this why are we here i think you see your friends you know and it's church is like fun whether you're religious or not i think so i love church it's so fun i think i going to start going to church. Well, Todd and I were doing that for Annie Wood and we just did one. We just did. We were going to do church reviews. We just went to Quaker Meeting.

And it was actually so sad because everyone in the meeting is so old and they were so excited to see like young people because they're all going to die out. There's going to be no one left to go to Quaker Meeting. And then but we were like, oh, we're just checking in. We're not going to be here again. Do you want to go together? Yeah, I'll go with you. I want to do like can we start catholic have you gone to the crazy like big churches the mega churches are so fun they're like scary it's like they're beautiful they're like palatial i see i'm not comfortable going into a church as a stranger i need to be

with a regular if i'm going in well let's let's go. Just go with Annie. Well, I belong wherever I go. When I was little, I used to go to Catholic church with Christina and I can't remember if I've told you this, but in health class, did you guys ever take home those electronic babies? I never got to do that. They were too afraid we would actually have kids. They gave us like an egg. I got a D Esther. I did that. I hated it. We had no no, we had a flower. We had a kind of flower. Oh, my sister, I think, did that. And oh, God, watching kids get mad at each other and kill their babies was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

So we did that. And Christina, like you, was a twin. And so our teacher made her take two of the babies. Which seems like she should make someone else do that. What? Unfair. Unfair. Yeah.

So Christina had two. And I remember we went to church and it was like dead of winter. And she had the two babies. And they're dolls, so they weren't dressed. They were just like naked in their little things. And all these old women came up to us and were like, bless these poor children. We scared everyone at the church. You should put that in a script.

That's so funny. Did they know they were fake babies? No, of course not. Okay, because I used to carry around, my friend and I would carry around this blow-up doll with us. We would go to like all these diners, Tiffany's Diner. Like we just thought it was so funny. We called her Judy. We brought her everywhere with us.

And old women like loved our blow-up doll. They thought it was so funny. They're like, oh, she's beautiful. They'd like pinch her cheek. I swear to God, it was like such a hit. After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan,

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And therapy is what I've been doing, teletherapy. It's like you're on vacation, but you can still do it. This is why I love BetterHelp. It's designed to be convenient. It's designed for someone like me who sometimes has really bad days. I can't get out of bed. And sometimes I just need I only have the energy to turn on my phone and talk to somebody. I don't have to go drive somewhere, find parking. They have this great journal feature where I can write my thoughts and feelings in between my sessions. And all you have to do is you fill out the simple questionnaire online. They'll match you with a licensed therapist. It's very easy. It's very convenient. Personally, like pregnancy, I've been going through a lot of changes. Having someone to talk those things

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Blackjack, roulette, They have all of it. You don't understand. I'll be at the comedy store. I'll literally hear from another room, and I'm like, it's Annie on the DraftKings Casino app. Do you know, like, sometimes you're like... And there's people gathering around her. I'm sometimes afraid that, like,

I'm looking too deeply into the sun and I'm becoming the sun. It's, like, too good in my life. It's, like, to be at the comedy store having so much fun, also playing slots on my life is too good. It's a party when Annie has that app open. And right now, new players who play $5 get $100 instantly in casino credits. You're welcome. That's the Annie special. I love that the minimums are low. You can play as low or as high stakes as you feel on a given day. And sometimes for your business manager, it's high stakes. Sometimes it's high stakes. Sometimes it's low

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only voided Ontario eligibility and deposit restrictions apply one per opted a new customer $5 wager required, max $100 in casino credit awarded, which require one X playthrough within seven days. Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash holidays on the house. Restrictions apply. And in that time, I just won $10,000, you guys. So wow. DraftKings. I think it's no secret that we all struggle to save money every month. I'm so good at spending it though. I was like, I really have a gift. I really have a gift. You actually are better than most. I have a gift. I buy, I, I, I spend it on everything. And you look good. Thank you. I think it works. But with Rocket Money, you can quickly identify all of

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the easy way by going to rocket money.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. I wish I had a video of this. I was brushing my teeth with my Quip on the way over. I was driving and quipping. Really? I was driving and quipping. Thank you, Tesla.

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going to get them though i love picking them out that was like the most fun and my family one time my dad tied it not tight enough and it fell off on the highway and we had to like pull over it was like people mishaps turn out to always be the most memorable it feels like we were i'm like is my dad chevy chase it was like yeah that sounds like a freaking movie. I've had both artificial growing up. And by the time I got to the real stuff, like now the smell is very. Yeah. I am jealous of the smell. Yeah.

But you can always light a candle that's just a pine tree. Okay, wait. So I thought my ex-boyfriend had a fake tree because this was my other Jersey boyfriend. Because they had a white tree. But they just got a real tree and sprayed it with the white. Yeah, it's a flog tree. That was pretty cute. Really pretty.

That is cute. Pretty f***ing cute. That's very Kardashian, I feel like. I thought more white trash than... But flog trees get really messy. How long do you guys keep the tree up past December 25th? Up until Three Kings. I think Three Kings is like January 7th, which is like a Catholic thing.

My family has ADD. So just as long until some of my mom remembered. And mine's like the opposite of that. It's like my mom is just like probably the next morning. Just like everything. I wake up on the 26th. I'm like, where is it all? It's gone already.

There is that like depression where you're like, it's just winter now. Is that why they call it Boxing Day? No, it's British. No, it's just winter now? Is that why they call it Boxing Day? No, it's British. No, that's the UK sale. Oh, it's not because, like, families box it up because Esther's mom shows up and takes a tree down? This year, I'm going home. Usually, when I go on long trips, I go, like, the 15th. So, like, you milk that pre-Christmas.

But this year, I'm going right before Christmas. So, I'm going to stay in the spirit like up until New Year's Eve. Chain yourself to the tree like people do. Like, mom, you're not taking it. And then she can just like lift it up because it's not attached. I wanted to say about me decorating my apartment. My fiance is still in his 20s. So we always have Christmas lights up.

Just as regular decoration. It's still dorm style. But I think I saw there's a Christmas tree place right across from our house. And I'm like, it's right there. And I've been being clean. So it's like, I think before I never had it because I was like, oh my God, there's so much clutter.

That is the one thing when you called me the other day and you're like, I gotta go. I gotta go clean. I'm like, who are you? It feels good. It's like, okay, I have nocturnal panic attacks as well. And what I realized recently, which's like, okay, can I, I have nocturnal panic attacks as well. And what I, what I realized recently, which is like such a breakthrough for me is I would wake up like in a full sweat spinning about something. And the next day I would be like

trying to investigate why am I a panicky person? Why do I have anxiety? Like I would be looking at it too like broad. And then the other day it hit me. It's like, I'm panicking about something day it hit me it's like I'm panicking about something specific so I was like I'm panicking about like ticket sales so that's an actionable step I can take is I'll just so now every time before I go to bed and every time I wake up I just go oh I'll like just promote what I need to promote tonight and I'll promote it in the morning like I just think about what I need to do and then like whatever new thing pops up I'm just going to look at it like item like it's almost like I have an internal to-do list that's just like clicking in. And because I'm not checking in before I go to bed, it's happening in the middle of the night.

So I'm looking at my anxiety now as like a pushing force rather than a thing that I have that I'm crippled by. Cleaning has helped me too where it's like I have this dread over me. It feels like everything in my life is an extracurricular activity when my house is messy like I have this like homework I need to do which is clean my house and I'm not doing it so I have that a little bit with exercise too so I've just been like when I have a minute I just clean I just clean and I feel so much better and what gets you in the mood to clean like for me my favorite thing is like get a coffee and I'm like this is like my little clean companion and then it gets me pumped up that's I didn't even think about having I mean maybe I can work on that but I just you know what it is I've just been trying to tell myself like

every time I don't want to do something it's brave to do the thing I don't want to do right now just be brave be brave be brave so I just like do it and then like halfway through like sometimes I'm talking on the phone with people and stuff but it's like the same as like when I sit down and do work we're talking about with David so about the Pomodoro thing where it's like 25 minutes alarm goes off you get five minutes to around 25 minutes of focus time yeah I never get past one Pomodoro I do 25 minutes and then I do like five years off and then I come back but I realize like it's actually embarrassing how much I can get done in 25 minutes like I'm'm procrastinating all the time. It's like if focused energy for 25 minutes, I get like I write like a novel. And so that's the same with cleaning. It's like if I just

focus and keep like next step, next step, next step, I can clean my own house in like 40 minutes. Yeah, I think that's what I do is like you, I set myself up. I'll have a playlist ready. What I do is like you, I set myself up. I'll have a playlist ready. I'll have a drink that I enjoy. That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. And then I'll just choose one thing that I know I want to work on. But usually that one thing leads to the second thing.

So it's like as long as I keep my goals small with the cleaning. Yes. Instead of saying I got to do everything today. Then I feel more like incentivized. I'm like, wow, this place is let me just move to the bathroom and see how much how much I can get done there like a basic thing of even like if I'm like I'm just gonna put the shoes away and then it's just like oh then I'll do this then I'll and I did it at night before I went to bed the other night like I just wasn't like exhausted so I was like oh I'll just like clean up and then I woke up to a clean place it was like insane feeling clean sheets

clean place well tree up, fireplace going. It's such a great feeling. Yeah, I'm getting into that too. I think like the nesting that's supposed to hit me is like slowly. I'm like, oh, rather than sit here, I should go through this whole cabinet. And it has made me think to myself like I've always liked small spaces but I'm like I would never want to be in a space that's too big where you couldn't clean it yourself if you had to yeah three two for life I always say that no matter how much money I make it's going to be

a three bedroom two bathroom never more than 2,000 square feet I want a lot of outdoor space but it's never going to be more than 2,000 square feet because I just can't clean it. I don't want it. You can come visit me and have a wing because I feel very different. I can't wait to have a staff. By the way, I don't know if you guys saw, but it was announced that Kim Kardashian has around a dozen Christmas trees in just her bathroom. I saw that. I did see that. I don't hate on it because 2019, the year before the pandemic, my family thought I was insane for buying three large Christmas trees. And I had one in every single corner. And then sure enough, we missed three Christmases after that. I was like, see, I was like, I had foresight.

Or did you put a curse? I might have put a curse. I have a question. Are there trees made out of all of the hair she got lasered off? That's so pretty. That's gorgeous. Should I get a tree of my own? It just seems like a huge commitment to carry it. Don't put it under the heater. The mess. Don't put it under the heater directly so it doesn't dry out. You got one thing to carry. Can I tell you something I did the other

day? I'll say it's Christmas related just because Christmas has lists and this was about, I knocked something off my to-do list that I had to do for a long time. I had ordered this package of NAD infusions, which I don't know what it is. Do you know what it is? Yeah, of course. I mean, I just, Joe Rogan said he did it and I had money and I was like, okay, they had a deal and I just spent so much money on it two years ago. So I go in to get, and it's like an infusion. What does it do? I mean, it's supposed to do a lot of things, but it's supposed to, it's very regenerative. Yeah. Have you done it? I've never done it because, um, I, it's a slow, slow infusion, right? You kind of have to sit there. How long you sit there? Two hours? Well, mine was an hour and a half, but it, but I'll tell you what happened. So some people, so you

can leave it open. Some crazy people leave it open and they kind of pace around them because it feels like it's hard to explain. It feels like your body is squeezing and burning on the inside. You have to like take a shit. This is why like I feel anxious thinking about it. I know. I haven't tried it. I listen if the rich people do it. Just like you just feel like you have energy legs. I feel absolutely incredible right now. And I'm going to go on on Friday and do it again. But so okay. So I walk into the place that I go to the two two nurses, there's, like, a medical assistant and a nurse, and they're, like, getting it prepared. Their coffee machine was broken, so I'm like, I'm going to go grab a coffee.

Do you guys want a coffee? The medical assistant's like, they both say no, but I can see that the nurse wants one, and I go, come on, let me buy you a coffee. I bring her her matcha, and I go, this is, like, so you don't prick me too hard, bitch, you know, I'm like, be easy on me. So I go in. They have me in, like like a special room they put the injection in I'm laying there and I'm like I have to keep like they have a call button for the nurse

I have to keep like being like all right like open it more close it more because it's just like hard to bear but in the middle of it I start to feel so nauseous right like and my new Louis Vuitton purse is there I rebagged I want to talk about rebagged what okay and I new Louis Vuitton purse is there. I re-bagged. I want to talk about re-bag. What? Okay. You bought a new purse? And I like, and I, don't tell my business manager. And just kidding. He gets alerts. He gets alerts on his phone.

How funny is that? Like in the middle of the night, he'll just be like, oh, she's having a nocturnal panic attack. She's coping. But, but I, I just, I'm doing the call button. It's not working. And I just lean over. I just throw up all over. And I almost got it on my purse, just like a little bit on the outside. I threw

up all of my pills and I threw up my microdose. I was like, that's, I go careful. That's mescaline. That's mushrooms and mescaline. But, um, so as the, the girl is coming in to clean the medical assistant, I go, should have gotten that coffee, bitch. But they were very nice about it. And then they have like an anti-nausea thing that I'll take next time. But that's what the guys will do. Like the guys that are like all proud, they'll have it open. It'll take 20 minutes. They'll run around the room. They have the anti-nausea thing. They like jump up and down. They just try to get through it. The reason that I'm, I'm, it makes me anxious to think about is because I don't even drink coffee. I don't like things that make me feel revved up, like at all. So like the idea of like, it feels like a panic attack I can't escape. I think during it's hard, but right now I just feel young. I mean,

I know it's good for you. I just feel like a little pep in my step. And it was great. It was cool. It was like hilarious to throw up over the floor of the mall. I mean, it was all just cold brew too. There was like nothing else in my system. But that's probably why. Well, they said that. Yeah. It never makes sense. I'm like, wouldn't I have more in my stomach? I mean, I believe nurses, but I don't. Wait, tell us about the purse. Oh, I decided I wanted like a bigger purse. And I was like, even though these are kind of basic, I really want one. This girl I sat next to on the plane, she was like, it's so sturdy. It just has

everything. And I've just been like Amelia Bedelia-ing around town with like a bunch of things in my hand, like just looking ridiculous, dropping things all the time. So I was like, I need a big purse and I want to carry around my notebook. I have this like vision of like having a notebook that has all of my things in it. Cause I've always been trying to have separate notebooks. So I like have, and it's just, there's, it's an, it's not, so I want to have like my journal, my joke list, my to-do list, my drawings, everything in one thing. You are so brave to be willing to leave the house with your journal. Listen, I've, no, I've lost them. I leave, and where do you think I'm leaving them? It's the

comedy store. It's, who cares? I've had like nightmares. I've done it. I've done it. It's happened so many times. I'm through it. I've gone through it already. It's all my, like I had, my journal was like, I was like on ayahuasca, like writing crazy shit. Sometimes I leave my journal open and then I'll walk in the room and Dave is, and I'm like, no, I have to like run. And he's just making fun of me. It's always something so embarrassing. I have had a very, this is where it gets, this is even more embarrassing because this

is in my last lost journal. I've started doing a thing. This is very woo woo guys. I don't care. It's actually really crazy and working. And I, no one told me to do this. I just started doing it. I've been writing to myself in my journal going like, dear guides, dear help, like whatever. I say different thing each time, like dear light or whatever. Like what, like light inside me, like subconscious, like what do I need to know today and it's my subconscious is like writing but it's like f***ing weird it's like not me writing back but I've gotten all this like advice from myself it's really weird speaking of journals I saw this post um on Instagram and it's basically this really cute journal between mom and daughter. Oh, and it's just, you know, mom gives it to the daughter and says, whatever questions you have

for me about the world and like write it here. And then, so they share the journal and the mom answers on the next page. And it's so cute. Like some of the questions are like, why, why do I feel like Danny is going to tell on me like really basic things like and the mom will be like you know like I know you're frustrated with Danny but remember like you know you know don't mean you don't have to be mean you can it's just my mom would be like because you're a bitch did you ever read your I read my mom's journal once and it was like poems about me being like her broken child I was like oh you I was like I'm about to write about you oh I wanted so I I wanted, so I got this on Rebag. What's that? I've never heard of it. Rebag is like the same as like the RealReal or whatever. It's like, so it's like, I like, I think I'm supporting a fellow

overspender. I'm helping a sister out and, and I hope it's a reciprocated one. I have to sell all my purses too. But so it's like cheaper, but you can get them at different, so this was like excellent. It's like really cute. Yeah, it's cute. i got it way cheaper it's a classic what's a great um entry purse that i can get if i'm not a purse girly don't even it's just don't whatever i don't have a single get yourself a tote bag from trader joe's stop okay that's that's what i have right now don't do it it's a waste of money i do but i'm i don't want to start it for someone else. Okay, so it's not. I'll go shopping with you.

No. We can go online. No, there's a medium ground. Have her do a re-bag. It's cool. And then it's their investment pieces that can go with her swatches. Because I don't have a single fancy purse. I think designer purchases.

I had that one year where I, you know, went a little stupid. I think it's so dumb. Oh, my God. I'm going to have to get her baby designer things. Okay, baby designer. Don't do it. Annie. I'll take you. We'll go. I'll take you on an internet ride. Own your purchases, own your moves, because here's what I think. Okay. And this could be crazy. When I wear this, I feel really good. I feel happy. I feel good. It like makes me feel, and of course we're all falling into this like scam or whatever, but I like the scam. I'm enjoying the scam. Yeah, the scam like sparks joy.

It's not a scam. I feel high vibe when I wear it. I feel good. I get it. I feel that too, but I'm still saying don't start. I don't want to pass this on to anyone. And whoever steals this is going to get a lot of insights from my guide. Wait, speaking of that.

They tell me to buy more purses. Of that journal. You know what? I heard Kim Kardashian say she does for her kids, which like sounds so magnificent and I want to do it and I hope I do. She says that every single year on her kids' birthday, she writes them like a five-page letter just like about all the things they're into that year, their nicknames, like what are they like eating. And so then the kids will have that when they're adults. I'm like, that's so incredible. But do you think you just like manipulate it a little bit?

Just change a couple things? Like what? Just like to make them have a different memory? I don't know. I like that. But I also like whatever my brain has kept. But it was cute. We found our like report cards when we were little.

Hi, that's so cute. From nursery school. And it was cute. It was like when my twin brother was like saying how I would like tie his shoes for him and stuff. It was like super cute. Yeah. Yeah. I would want to know that stuff. Oh, is this a gift? I have got you guys a present. I'm ready for it. Okay. So I wanted to get you guys something you wanted. And I listened to you when you asked me what my highlighter was so I got you each one wait the eyeshadow you mean this is the eyeshadow and the highlighter yeah oh

my god oh my god thank you so much oh my god Annie that is this is Urban Decay so this is the one you're wearing right now it's so pretty so pretty oh, thank you. I didn't know who were doing gifts. I just figured last minute. Can I say that I did have an idea, but it was not executed and I wanted to get both of you a sitz bath. What's that? Like a portable one. Well, you're going to know after birth.

Why does Annie know? Well, it's going to be for hemorrhoids. I've already been in it, bitch. Sitz bath for the hemorrhoids and sitz bad for, you know, if you give birth vaginally, then you'll need it. Do you think when I have kids, I'm going to have like a leg up because I've already had every problem that a pregnant woman has had? Honestly, I think that you're not going to notice labor at all.

You're going to, people are going to be like, Annie, I swear the baby's half out of your baby. Are you sure? Wait a second. Why did these gifts come from Stella? Because I needed her to get them for me. Okay. So I didn't know that was an option. I paid for it.

Some question I had for you guys is your takes on Christmas movies. We asked the audience, too, like what their favorite ones were. Mean Girls is not a Christmas movie. It's not. At all. Home Alone their favorite ones were because we thought it'd be our favorites. Mean Girls is not a Christmas movie. It's not. At all. Home Alone 4. Which one were you in?

I don't know. The remake. I don't think it was a sequel one. I only liked the one Esther was in. I have one line, so you're really taking a big swing. Wait, what's your line? I have no idea what my line was.

Oh, my God. My ex-husband would freak out if he knew that. Home Alone. But it was in the remake on Disney+. It doesn't matter. And it was during COVID and my scene was with Kenan Thompson and Ellie Kemper, but Kenan wasn't there. So like I never got to meet Kenan. He was just-

I met him. Did I tell you how I met him? I forget. It was my proposal night. He was backstage at Criss Angel with me. Is there anything funnier in the world than that? That's that's so weird. But so I didn't even meet him, but he was, it was, I literally am acting in a scene with him and he's not there. That's so f***ing funny. Yeah. I actually don't, I'm not a big Christmas movie girlie. I wasn't either.

I wasn't either. But then my ex, like it's all him and his family did. And then I've met other people that are huge Christmas movie people. Yeah, I like that Santa. Die Hard for sure is a very popular one. I know Home Alone yes but I mean like all of the good ones like Christmas Vacation like that's that is like with Randy Quaid like come on. Does planes trains and automobiles count? Wasn't that during the holidays? It feels snowy. That's Thanksgiving. Oh it's Thanksgiving.

Yeah that's Thanksgiving. Okay I loved I did love Home Alone. Love actually is insane. I loved it when I first saw it, and then I watched it again, and I was like, what was happening? Why? Tell me what. It's just very weird. It's just a weird movie. There's a TikTok trend going around

about how problematic. It's just weird. It's like the guy's stalking. One guy's stalking Keira Knightley. The best friend. It's psychotic. Like he's the videographer and he doesn't film anyone but her. He zooms in on her.

It's very stalkery. It's weird. It's like this isn't okay and that's your best friend. It's like ew. The prime minister also dating his. Yes. And it's just like I don't know. It just doesn't seem like positive healthy relationships.

Let's get this out and replace it with a holiday with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet, Jack Black. I do love, that's a great movie. That's cute. So one of the questions I had is like, For Christmases even? Is the rom-com the best version, I believe it is, of the Christmas movie?

So that's like The Holiday, Sleepless in Seattle, Family Stone. I don't think so. I think The Elf's Christmas Vacation. I think the comedy is. And Elf. Elf was so good. Elf's Christmas Vacation. I think the comedy is. And Elf. Elf was so good. Elf was the best. Elf is the best.

I do think we're like starved for an absolutely hilarious Christmas movie. Okay. I do have a friend that's writing one. I just saw the best movie I've seen in a million years. And it is kind of a Christmas movie. Like it is in vibes, but not in content. Can I guess? What?

Did it just come out? Yeah, I saw it in the theaters. Is it Godzilla minus one? Are you joking? No. Is it Thanksgiving with Tim Dillon? What? Are you?

No, because everyone's talking about Godzilla minus one. I say it's like amazing. I did hear it's good and I do want to see it. Okay. You guys, has anyone here seen The Holdovers? No. I've never even heard of it. Oh my God.

It's the best movie I've seen. Why are you holding this over me? Like, I am. I am. It's like. What is it? It's going to have Oscar buzz, I'm pretty sure. And it's directed by Alexander Payne, who directs really like amazing movies like Sideways.

Yeah. One of my favorite movies of all time. Love Sideways. No, Election. Oh, I love Election. One of my favorite movies of all time. Love Sideways. No, Election. Oh, I love Election. I love Election. That's his movie and it's like the performances he gets are like so, so it's Paul Giamatti and it's like sad and Christmassy

and basically he's this like kind of grumpy teacher at an all boys like boarding school. He's a good grum. And it's called, I know, and it's called The Holdovers because it's like he gets assigned to watch over the kids. The kids that don't have families? They have to stay for Christmas, Christmas break. It's so good, you guys.

Would you say you're like a hot female Paul Giamatti? Yes, I would. I actually would, yes. Oh, that does sound really good. That's such a cute idea. You guys have to go see it. And it's so awesome that it like has those warm fuzzy holiday snow christmas stuff like i've been trying to

recruit everyone to go see the boy in the heron with me and i've said it on tiger belly these movies i want to see tim's thanksgiving movie is all the boy in the heron is hayo miyazaki and um it's supposed it was supposed to be his last animated film but R. Pat's is voicing it and a lot of the cast is pretty great although I'm going to

watch the one with the subtitles. I have a question. If we do end up going to the movies together are you able to eat popcorn? Yeah. Okay.

I am. Good. And I'm because I wouldn't even ask you. Well you know that that's the only reason I go. The movie is so second.

The popcorn in the movie is everything. That's magic. That's romance. That's travel. Everything you're out there getting from traveling the world, I'm getting it right there in the movie. Oh, I'm so, it's my favorite. It is my number one favorite food.

Also, I like going with my dad to the movies. It's kind of like our thing because he has to wear, have I talked about this, where he has to wear the headphones because he doesn't he's hard of hearing so he wears the headphones but then he screams and he says horrendous things like I can't even speak them on here he screams them so loud I'm like dad and he's like oh and he starts laughing and he's laughing so loud there was an older woman once who she in the middle it was a daytime movie we would always go to like random times. And she like went to go get a drink or food or the bathroom or something.

But she accidentally went through the exit. And so just light like shined in. And my dad just goes, oh, like he just, it's just, it's so fucking funny. I love old man sounds. He's so good. And it was like him like making fun of another old person. So it's just like so funny.

Esther, I feel like you would like, have you been to look cinemas where you don't even have to leave your chair and you order? I don't like that as much. We have I pick. What? It's like my dream. I pick is where like someone comes. It's like if they have, it's a chain.

That's what you're talking about, right? Oh, it's the same thing. Yeah. It's like where someone brings you the food, right? Yeah. And it's like recliners. Yeah. I like that.

I like that. I'll tell you why I, right? Yeah. And it's like recliners. Yeah, I like that. I like that. I'll tell you why I don't like it. Why? Because I should be punished for having to refill the bucket and I should have to miss. I should have to miss and I also,

I like having to make someone next to me tell me what I missed. It's cute. It's part of the... Oh, that is cute. It's cute. That is really cute. I'm like, tell me everything that I that I missed like since I was five years old I've been saying that to people this conversation is getting me even more amped for the holidays because there's

nothing better than going to the movies yeah on the holidays we would always go to the movies on Christmas we would do New Year's Eve my parents and I would do New Year's Eve we'd go to P.F. Chang's and then go to a double feature so we'd pay for one and go to two. That's what we would do too, yeah. Yeah, that's like the best memories. I want to do that this year so badly. That's so cute that a lot of your sweet memories are with your mom and dad. It's kind of sad.

It's not. It's not. No, it's not. It's so sweet. Wait, what if we go to a movie, we try to sneak into the other one, but we pay them at the end for the movie so we're not bad one but we we pay them at the end sure for the movie so we're not bad but we just tell them well nowadays nowadays it's like assigned seating so you can't do that anyway out here that is true but if we get kicked out that's funny what do you get for

wait i have a esther thing i the place i threw up at the floor okay the woman go the girl at the counter goes and by the way, I did get in a little thing with them in the beginning where I was like trying not to pop off. I was like, I'm really trying not to pop off right now. But they charged me a thousand dollars. Like I just got to, while I was sitting in there, I just got to charge for a thousand dollars. I was like, what the hell's going on here? And it was just a mix up and they fixed it. But I was like, I was like, felt, I like was like trying to keep my top on the whole time. And then afterwards I was like, sorry, I'm really trying to not pop off.

It's like I shouldn't be like upset by circumstances. Everything works out. Wait, no, a thousand dollar charge is a lot of fucking money. I would freak out. I was like, I had 500 emails. Talked to like 20 people on the phone. It was just, but it got worked out. So where do I come in?

She goes, the one guy comes out and like, it's like, you know, I know who you are. And I was like oh cute and he starts talking to me about comedians and people that go into the other comedians that go in there and then the other girl's like that I almost got in the fight it was like I know you from glowing up oh isn't that so cute that's so cute and she's working at like the NAD place that's so on brand for going up really a lot of beauty girlies or people that I know from the beauty space really loved that podcast. It's weirdly having like a moment on TikTok where people are talking about it.

Like it's because a lot of the product, the skincare products that have trended in the last year on TikTok are all things that we like were kind of the first people to talk about. So I'm pretty proud of it. What if we had a glowing up episode? I would die to have Caroline on. We could also even have like a little segment if we wanted to zoom her in sometimes. I would die to have Caroline on. She would kill.

I miss her. That's what I was saying. I was like, I haven't seen her since glowing up. She's so good. Wait, I want to ask you, what drink do you get at the movies? Okay, when I'm being BAD, I get frozen Coke and cherry Coke and I layer it and I wait for, I just slurp all of the juice out of it. And I just, I like when it's just like hard ice at the bottom when I've gotten all the

flavor out. And then cherry Coke, I like regular cherry Coke. And then sometimes I just do water because sometimes it's just overkill. Yeah. Do you get candy? now no but I would definitely if I was feeling not acid reflux I would do like a sour patch watermelon I would do a cherry icy but Dave got the weird okay so you know some theaters now have those drink machines where it's like a vending what you press the buttons yeah Dave was like so proud of this combo he made and I was so gagged by it. It's

half he made half Sprite half grape Powerade. I'm interested. I'm interested. Mildly European. I don't know. I was like well grape Powerade does not have bubbles in it right. I was also like Dave you're 45. Like come on. This is his Christmas. He's not going to celebrate. Let him have his, this is his Santa Claus. But I like the idea that you can mix and match now. I know. You're giving us a lot of power. Maybe I'm just hating because I can't really have it right now.

I know. I used to like, I used to really enjoy the boundary of you can have Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke. Someone else has to do it for you. The boundary. You call that a boundary? Well, my only boundary growing up dead serious was when McDonald's stopped breakfast. That was like the only time I was told no as a child.

And when they started letting, I was like lost as a person when they were like, you can have it all day. So I was glad when they whipped it back. That was very confusing time. Wait, it's not all day anymore? They go back and forth. It's like Taco Bell taking away the potatoes and then bringing them back. We were talking about this earlier.

Like, I don't like it. But also just a great marketing. It's like the McRib, right? What do you get at the movie theater? This is going to absolutely blow your mind. If you show up with your own popcorn, I'm going to be fucking pissed. I absolutely hate the movies. I try not to go to the movies.

I've had a lot of panic attacks at the movies. And I try to... I feel like Esther's kid on Christmas. I know, I know. I don't know what happened to me movies. And I try to... I feel like Esther's kid on Christmas. I know. I know. I don't know what happened to me when I started to become afraid of the idea. Like, I feel claustrophobic. There is a sense of anxiety in it, but I do go. And I am really boring. It's just water. I only drink water. And I sometimes reach over for popcorn. So if we go, it's going to be great for you because I will not steal your popcorn. We're getting our own bucket. Yeah. You can share my bucket because I will be getting another one. You can have one paw

of Annie's bucket. No, you can. Listen, no, I'll be generous with the first bucket. I'm not. But the second bucket, back the f**k up. I'm not fun. Actually, at some points I go eat some of the bucket. I also though do want to validate you a little bit because I get claustrophobic too. And I do need to come forward and say I will only see a movie if I get the exact seat that I want, which is the very last row on the aisle. What? I will only sit there for any movie. Like, I don't want to go if I can't sit there. Okay.

I just want to say one of my favorite scenes of any Final Destination was in a movie theater, and that's not a good spot. Oh, my God. Why? It's hard to get out when the place is collapsing. I mean, it's Final Destination, so there was like things like ping, ping, ping. Wait, Esther, why do you like that seat? Because I have like a little bit of a claustrophobic thing and control.

But you can't recline. That's fine. So it's an easy escape i also need to if i have to go to the bathroom i don't want to step over people like guys well you're not stepping you're the tiny you just go under their legs i also need to like stretch my leg where do you like to sit i like to sit like center like right like wherever the handicap seats are it's usually the one above is good because it's like they do give i will say i'd like that about the new theaters they always give the handicapped people like the best.

Special needs people, the f***ing right there. And then you can put your feet on their head. Just kidding. And they can't do anything about it. Where are they going to come get me? I know it's all cocky to put your feet up next to them. Like, look what I can do. Yeah, I don't mind the going by people.

Again, it's like, I want to have to suffer to get the popcorn. I don't want it to be too easy. But I like the big, cushy, like, reclining ones now are really cool. I will say I went to a movie. I went and saw Ninja Turtles with my nephews. And I was so pissed because I love to talk to them. I like mystery science theater. I thought you were going to say by yourself because I'm like, hey.

No, it was horrible. It was, sorry, Seth Rogen. But my nephew was like. I loved. Because I like to misbehave with Science Theater and just like talk the entire time. It's like fun to go to the comics if we're like making jokes. But my nephew was like. Like he was watching.

He was like. And I was like trying to poke him and be like. Hey, James. And he was just like. I was like. Oh, my God. The Ninja Turtles stole my nephew. But, yeah, no.

I think it would be funny if we went to the movie theaters together and we each sat in different. Our own, yeah. Completely different areas. That's why all the kids are fingering themselves up there. Or fingering each other. I think that's why I don't like the movie theaters. Because you got fingered there? Yeah. So, when I was.

We haven't had one of these stories in a while. Must be Christmas. Okay. Thank you for reminding me of why perhaps I get scared in movie theaters. I was 12 years old. I was dating a boy who was a lot older than me. I don't know how we were allowed to hang with each other. They thought you were his dad. But this is the first time that he tried lot older than me. I don't know how we were allowed to hang with each other. They thought you were his dad.

But this was the first time that he tried to both kiss me and I wasn't ready for it and then I think he tried I didn't think. He tried to finger me and the movie was called The Relic. Is this a spell? And it was some horrible

movie. I hardly remember. I just know it was called The Relic. I think I liked The Relic. And I just got finger blasted without wanting anything. Okay, first of all, I'm very sorry. So that's why I drink water and only water. Hopefully you had a little butter on that popcorn. Is this The Relic? That's The Relic, yes.

Oh, my God. Is that what it looks like afterwards? Sorry. It did. That's exactly how my young f***er looked like. I think I like The Relic. I'm very sorry. Thank you, Esther. And maybe we could recreate a happy memory. With both of you fingering me? When you like it, yeah. Oh my god, will you guys both finger me so that memory is erased? Yes. We'll put a hole in the popcorn and we'll somehow have it

go through because you know the... Yeah, then I'm in for every movie you guys want to watch. Well, Feliz Navidad to both of you. And to you. Thank you. Feliz Navidad. Proud of you. Excited. This is your last childless.

Well, I guess you're childful already, but last child in your arms. Hopefully. Christmas. If all goes well. But yeah, no, I'm really excited. And I hope everyone, all the slugs have a really fun Christmas comment. Let us know what you guys are up to. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? What are you doing for Hanukkah? Whatever it is that you celebrate.

Or don't celebrate. If you're like Dave. Yeah. I have a suggestion for comments below. I've noticed that we have a lot of pregnant slugs. Oh. Can you guys write what you're going to do with your kids with Santa Claus? I think that's a great idea. In the comments. Yes. And the slug papas. And also quick pregnancy update. This past, so I'm like 23, 24 weeks right now.

And this past week was like the first week it's gotten really consistent where I can feel movement. Which has been a game changer. Like update for the pregnancy fellow preggies out there because before that you just like don't know if it's still there because whitney told you it was food too so that got in your head maybe you don't feel as connected to the pregnancy yet now i like now i feel more connected and also now it's just like good reassurance like everything's working as it should um so that's been like a really fun is there a kicking or movement i don't know because it's it's not like bam but it is also like pop so it just feels like something is in your body and it's popping now or moving or it's

so cool it's so weird but it's I'm finding it to be like I'm like because I'm really trying to point out the positive experiences of this time and so I'm like okay that's like something I look forward to every night is like laying down and kind of feeling that because they come out they come out at night Esther are you noticing that people are like specifically men I always ask pregnant women this, treating you differently? No, because I'm not going out in the world looking pregnant. Like I wear baggy clothes and stuff. But I'm excited for that.

Yeah, I know my friends. She's going full teen mom. Yeah. Hiding it. Yeah. Anyways, slugs, Merry Christmas. We hope you guys have a great holiday season. And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Yes, you guys.

We love you. Grateful for you.