Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Let's Bring Back Arranged Marriages w/ Lisa Gilroy

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

NEW ERA, NEW MERCH!!! GET IT HERE: https://www.trashtuesdaymerch.com Thank you to our sponsor, RoBody. Ro provides access to the most popular weight loss shots on the market. Go to RO DOT CO SLASH TRASHTUESDAY. Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. That’s R…O…DOT…C…O SLASH TRASHTUESDAY The beautiful, symmetrical hilarious Lisa Gilroy visits us from the Great White North today! The ladies talk malls, night nurse nipples, how arranged marriages may be better options for the goober’s our friends and family end up with, Hot Older People and Ask Are Boy Mom’s OK? Link in the bio! Take er for a drive!  More Lisa Gilroy: LISA GILROY http://www.lisagilroy.com   / thelisagilroy    00:00 New Merch! Robody! 01:38 Welcome Lisa Gilroy to the Trash Stu  03:00 The Magic of Malls 15:30 Thoughts on Arranged Marriages The Girls Love to Get Spooky 28:00 Does Canada Have Bananas? 38:20 Trad Wives 50:00 Are Boy Mom’s OK?  01:05:00 Nakey Parents Follow More Trash: Instagram:   / itstrashtuesday   Tiktok:   / itstrashtuesday   Listen to Trash: Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPod Trash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudio   More Esther: TikTok:   / esthermonster   Instagram:   / esthermonster     More Khalyla:  Instagram:   / khalamityk   Tigerbelly Podcast:    / @tigerbelly   Production: Stella Young:   / estellayoung   Tiny Legends, LLC:   / tinylegends.prod     Shot and Edited By:  Guy Robinson:   / grobfps   Case Blackwell    Art Direction and Social Media: Ariel Moreno:   / jade.rabbit.cce     Branding & Music: Branding & Logo:   / jason_cryer   Theme Song:   / bobbyleelive   Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen: https://www.candyedits.com This video contains paid advertising.  #trashtuesday #khalyla #esther #podcast

Hi slugs! We have some really big news and obviously you may have noticed we are in a new era of Trash Tuesday and we're ready to celebrate with brand new freaking merch and it's available right now. And we hired a designer who I've been working with for probably a decade, Jason Cryer. He's incredibly talented, His work is so niche, so special. And you can find it all on our website where all of our merch drops will be live from now on and that's TrashTuesdayMerch.com. Quite simple. The site is live literally right now.

And we are dropping two items that Kalyla and I have been working on. We are so excited. We're both obsessed. They're going to be on our favorite blanks. So it's gonna be 100% cotton, super high quality, super comfortable, cozy. The first is a classic slug black tee. You're gonna... Oh my god, it's so cute. It's so cute. Kalyla and I have been talking about something that says sexy little ugly girl for years. And the second is the hoodie, the classic trash hoodie. And purple is the color of the season. So let's be cute. Let's be cozy.

You can go to TrashTuesdayMerch.com. You can pre-order either or both of these designs right now. That's TrashTuesdayMerch.com. We love you guys and we can't wait to see you. We can't wait to repost you in these. Tag us. I can't wait to literally live in these clothing and thank you for your support and continuing our relationship every Tuesday. Thank you to our sponsor Rowbody. Go to row.co. slash trash Tuesday. Membership start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. That's ro.co. slash trash Tuesday.

Go to row.co. slash safety for black box warning and full safety information. Compounded medication is not required to and does not receive FDA review or approval, RX only. You guys, we have Lisa Gilroy in the house today. We're already laughing off camera. We just we had to bring you in on this because it's too good. Welcome, Lisa. Hi, where are you looking Esther? My camera's there. Pick a camera. Look at it. Wait, there's cameras? No. Oh my god, I'm shaking. Turn them off. Stop, I wanna go home!

Mom, come get me! Wait, the three of us are too ugly to be on camera! Sound off in the comments if you think I'm wrong! Oh my god, wait, Lisa, so you're actually from Canada? Yeah, can you believe? Oh my god! Edmonton too! Yes, we were just talking about this. I'm shocked you remember the city name. You sound like you've been there.

No, it's just a big gig for... No, Bobby used to play there a lot. Oh. And the mall was... Well, the hotel attached to the mall is a theme. Fantasyland Hotel. Right, and they have the themed rooms, remember? Oh, yeah, I still have never been there.

I haven't been invited, I guess. Whatever. Oh, I'll get the mayor to send you a big invite. Thank you, and a key? Can I get a key? I don't wanna go without a key. I'll give you a little key card to every single room in Fantasyland Hotel, and you can barge in at any hour

on anyone you want. Wait, okay, so the fact that you grew up there, like, did you go a lot, or did you? No, no, it was, my mom took my sister and I once on a back to school shopping. Girls, you'll be absolutely gagged by this. Imagine you had a mom who took you for a back to school shopping trip at West Edmonton Mall

that was 15 minutes from your house, but you stayed overnight at the mall because you shopped till you literally dropped. Oh my God. Is that heaven? Oh my God. That's still like the only time my mom was ever nice to me. No, I'm kidding.

What about the crying animals in the mall though? They have like penguins or dolphins trapped in there? Okay, Kailala, that's where we're, you know, that's the part of the mall that we don't really talk about. Because at Mall of America, there's also animals, but I think it's just like birds that got in, like you know at the airport. Oh no, these are like fully like captive. These animals have been kidnapped from the wild. It's a mini zoo.

We're talking like flamingos, dolphins, seals, penguins. Okay, but how cool are those animals? Little girls like you. Muzzle. Oh, my God. Sell my baby to the mall. Sell my baby to the mall. Do you want your daughter to have, to feel that full mall experience?

I do. Or do you think it'll be the most exciting moment of your life? I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. I think it'll be the most exciting moment of my life. to the mall. Send my baby to the mall. Send my baby to the moon. Do you want your daughter to have to feel that full mall experience?

I do. Or do you think it'll be the mall culture will be absolutely dead by then? I'm so happy you're asking because yesterday it was a very hot day here in Los Angeles, California. I'm sick of it. But we went to the Glendale Galleria to get a little indoor mall experience. What, not even the Americana? You went inside the Galleria.

It's too hot, we had to go inside and at first, the first like 10 minutes, you're like, I feel like I'm in Vegas, this is so much fun, this is amazing. And then it's like, okay, another sneaker store, another sneaker, another Funko Popo's, me and my baby daddy came with. And did you guys all get like a pop to slurp?

Oh no, we should have, but we did eat it Din Tai Fung, which I have a bone to pick with you. Today as I was eating my Din Tai Fung leftovers, I was like, Kaila, there's no way there's other places that are better. But there are, I'm so sorry Esther. What's your place, Esther? Din Tai Fung, it's like a dumpling spot.

But she's saying that that's like kind of the Disney-fied McDonald's version. I wouldn't say it's the McDonald's version. It is very good. It's just the, it's a chain, right? Yeah, but. And it's very big and now it's corporate,

although it didn't start off that way. It has, Dintai Fung is still amazing. Okay. Please know that, Lisa. I've never been. She's trying to not get canceled. But I've been to Disney and I like Disney, okay? Okay, so you like Dintai.

Dintai, I feel, is so delicious and so great. I just don't think it's the best dim sum out there. Like there's more authentic versions. Yeah, and usually a lot of the dim sum places, like if you go to San Gabriel Valley, you have to be there at 6 a.m. Like that's the full dim sum experience. You line up at like 5.30, 6 o'clock,

and you get all of your stuff. It's like a breakfast food. OK. But one day we'll do it together. Imagine waking up that early for anything. I know. Are you a morning person? A baby crying? Oh, yeah, that's right.

I'm not a morning person. I need like 10 hours of sleep a night minimum. And so depending on when I go to bed, I'm waking up late in the day. So then you could, if you had a baby, you could do the you had a baby, you could do the late shift. Or get a night nurse.

That too, you do it all. Okay, here's a question though. Do they feed the child from their own like, titty? No. You get a wet nurse. Okay, a wet nurse. And is that like medieval? That's something we don't do anymore?

I believe that is medieval. Yeah, I think that's, is that the last time you checked in on what was going on? Yeah, I think it was my past life the last time I had a wet nurse. But Kate, imagine that being your job, because you could get pregnant once, get your milk and then keep your milk forever if ever anyone was sucking at it. I think that's how science works.

Yeah, I think that's how it works. Although I think that there are still like communities, not in America, that still support that communal breastfeeding vibe. Imagine breastfeeding for 20 years as your job. What's your nipples would look like? Oh, licorice? Oh, tootsie roll. Tootsie roll, something.

It would be crazy. It could be like a fire hose. You could like, you could dangle it down into a crib. You could feed many babies at once. Let's go back to the mall conversation. Okay. So I grew up going to Mall of America because my grandma lived 15 minutes from that so it's like we're very similar cool

Mall of America is the biggest mall in America. I believe still it's gotta be right. Can you compare the Mall of Asia to the Mall of America. Oh, sorry what Asia what part of it what Asia what the hell is Asia? what part of it. What Asia? What the hell is Asia? Where's that? Who's she? I want to know, because in Asia, the malls there are just like next level on steroids. I do wonder how they stack up against the Mall of America. I really am finding that I am craving a lot of my childhood experiences to be recreated for my child and that that is absolutely just simply not possible. Because those places are extinct now? The mall sucks here. You didn't have fun at Glendale Balleria?

I just... Stopped by my old stomping grounds, Abercrombie, on the second floor. Did you still work there? I did. I worked there. You were one of those hot girls in the dark. It looks unrecognizable. I know. It's more well lit in there now. It looked so different than hot girls in the dark. I know. It's more well-lit in there now. It looked so different than how it does, how it used to.

Here are the mall rankings. What are they, Stella? Did Edmonton make the list? Imagine going on a mall tour of the globe. Could be fun. And could be a reality show for three girls to shop till they drop. Shop till they drop.

Yeah. Internationally. Oh my God, and then also, so did you back to school shop there every year? Well, no, that was kind of like, I don't know, that was a special year. We got to stay overnight. We stayed in the Polynesian suite.

There, West Edmonton Mall, number six. Look, I know. Number six, that's pretty good. SM is the one above it, number seven, that has to be in Manila. Yeah, that's in the Philippines. In the Philippines, right, yeah. Oh, so this is in your blood.

This is in my blood, yeah. Okay, see that waterpark? So the mall has a waterpark and it also has bungee jumping from the ceiling and I did that. That is insane how big that pool is. And insane how brave I was to do that. True.

Oh, here we go, Mall of Asia, number four. Is Mall of America not on here? It has to be. I'm worried it's not. I'm getting really stressed because we're getting lower and it's got to be above editing. See I love Golden Resources Mall. I don't know where that is. New set.

Wow. Mall of America is not charting. China wins. Not even top 10. But I will say I love the theme park at Mall of America. It's very much for kids. I've never been. What's it called?

It was called Camp Snoopy, and then Viacom bought it, or whoever owns Viacom, and now it's like- And that's Camp Viacom. The kids are loving it. What's so crazy is like, I shouldn't even know the word Viacom. Like that's so, because when I was't even know the word Viacom like that's so because when I was little and on Michigan Avenue in Chicago they had the

Viacom store that was only open for one year and it had like all the Nickelodeon toys and like themed food and I'm like looking back why the f*** did they call it Viacom? I don't even know what that is. It's like the just the owner, the corporate overlord of like MTV, Nickelodeon, and Beach Boys. Of everything, yeah. Yeah, and it's such a not fun sounding thing. Yeah, but I can't stop saying it. In West End, Jamal, we have a little theme park too,

and it's called Galaxyland. And the little man who owns it is named Cosmo, and he's a little alien wearing a little space suit. That's cute. That is really cute. And he's everywhere. I mean, you gotta love him, you know? He's also got a little mini golf. He's got like a Cos he's everywhere. Yeah, I mean, you gotta love him, you know? He's also got a little mini golf.

He's got like a Cosmo's like putt-putt center. Is it really crazy that I always thought if I had a son, I'd name him Cosmo? Oh, cute. But I think it's a common name in the UK but isn't here. Cosmo Kramer. That's right. Oh. Yeah, that's the only Cosmo I know.

But no other, no one else here. I know there's Cosmo Jarvis. He's like a star of a show that I like. What about Cosmo and Wanda? Who's Cosmo and Wanda? Isn't that from Fairly Oddparents? I don't know what that is, but you look like you're in it. It's an animated show.

Yeah, you look like you're part of that world. I don't know if that's a Canadian show. It's not. It's not. Okay. I've heard of it. Then I think it's just for people younger than us, but I used to be a kids TV show host, so sometimes I know about the things

that the little kids were watching. Excuse me? What show? Well, it was a Canadian show. It's like Canada's version of Nickelodeon is called YTV, and so I was the host of the network. Like, so it wasn't like a show but I like come up on the commercial break with the other host and we'd be like what's up? So do kids like up next?

Fairly Odd Parents. And stick around because we're gonna do a craft. What do kids do they see you and they go oh my god I know you? Sometimes in Canada but the kids are big now because I'm big now. I'm huge and they're huge. It sucks. Wait you so that I'm so starstruck and I don't even know this. Like I've never seen it. But I feel like you need to become the next Miss Rachel. I can just tell.

Oh, I can, okay. So my sister's a foster mom and she has a little baby now. And I do the Miss Rachel voice for him over the phone and he laughs. He laughs real laughter. Sometimes first laugh we ever heard. I just go like, hello baby! And he loves it.

I'm... You should have brought Ace today. I know, wait. We could have tried it. Oh my God, I'm like really into that. I can't stop staring at you. Do you watch Miss Rachel? No, but I'm ready.

You literally have to start in the early seasons. Like you have to start right at the beginning otherwise you'll be so confused. What are our thoughts on bringing back arranged marriages? Speaking of done it. Do you have a son that you can marry? I have a boy cat. You do?

Why can't cats and dogs have sex anymore? They used to be able to. Imagine we, why can't we make a hybrid? I believe that would be the best and only way to marry the two sides of people who are like, I'm a dog person, I'm a cat person. I need to abolish that. I'm sick of it. What do we call them? Cogs?

Cogs. Cogs. Stinky little cogs. Bring back the cogs. And they have so many health problems and they can't breathe. Someone must have tried this, right? Well, the cat penis is very peculiar in that it has like hooks, right?

It has like barbs. Yeah, barbs, that's right. And the difference with a dog penis is that when the dog ejaculates, it swells so it gets stuck in the other dog for 15 minutes to ensure insemination. Are you a doctor? No, I grew up in the Philippines with a really crazy stray dog population, so I would see dogs stuck together all the time.

They sticked, why have I never seen that? I guess there's not a lot of stray dogs in LA. No, you don't see it here. But when you grow up in a third world country, you're like, okay, that's sex between dogs. Wow. They're stuck. So, okay, so there's an ejaculation and then they're stuck together. And what do they do? They're stuck. So, OK, so there's an ejaculation, and then they're stuck together.

And what do they do? They're just chill. They hang. They hang. Imagine if that happened with humans, like how you would have to absolutely be sure. You better like the person you're sleeping with if you're stuck with them for 15 to 20 minutes after sex.

God, we'd finally get the guys to cuddle up with us, little woodley gals. They could never handle it. They could handle my blabber mouth for 15 minutes. Oh my God. It also looks like it's the male penis that swells up and literally grabs the vagina and will not let go. Right, it's the penis that swells, yeah.

Yeah, which seems psychotic. And it's so funny, because they look confused when it happens So they're like what why are we stuck? It's a weird thing Yeah, anyways, let's get back to arranged marriages. I I'm not Doing a bit at all. I'm dead serious I think arranged marriages like I think there's room for them to make a comeback in like a

soft kind of way. Because maybe this is just because I became a mom and literally I'm already like, oh, there's a cute little boy in the neighborhood. I like his parents. I just think that dating is absolute pure chaos. It's trauma. It's too much, and don't you feel like if you were in the mix of that and like on Tinder and all this stuff and people, wouldn't you want a little help from an arrangement? I mean so you want to save your daughter from all of that life experience? Yeah. From choice in general. from all of that life experience. Yeah.

From choice in general. Okay, we'll put it that way. I mean, I do know what you're saying. I mean, because like marriage as an institution was purely economical, like when it first started, right? Like people didn't get married for like love necessarily back in the day, it was sort of like this business pact right and it made sense. I think now because you're right like the dating dating

really is sort of this like cesspool there's option paralysis like it's very confusing it's toxic it's situationships. I do think that arranged marriages could work if, as long as they're not arranged marriages, like you're being like actually forced in. There has to be some kind of like, okay. Well, Married at First Sight did this. Yes, I love that show. Love the show.

You know, Sheena, it seems exactly like something you would love. No. Oh, you gotta watch maps. They have like experts and they interview a bunch of people and then they decide who's getting married and then they see each other on the wedding day No. Oh, you gotta watch your mask. They have like experts and they interview a bunch of people and then they decide who's getting married. And then they see each other on the wedding day

at the altar. So like episode one is they are married. What happens? They just met and they are married. Does it work? So a lot of them end in restraining orders. Oh, what? But some of them really work. I feel like if it's the right person who's genuinely like,

look, pair me up with anyone who's not crazy and I just wanna get married and have a partner to do life with and combine our finances and buy a house and like do, you know? Yeah, and some of them have kids now. Yeah. Like I think that was it the first or second season, it was like Doug, the guy, she literally cried

as she was walking down the aisle because she was like, he is so ugly. Yeah, a lot of them have like bad reactions. But they went on their little honeymoon. I don't remember Doug. I think his name was Doug. Doug and Catherine or something like that. She was like a beautiful redheaded nurse.

An ugly Doug? And Doug, but Doug was, he was not the best looking, but he had such a great like heart and personality and she started to fall in love with him during the show. And now they have kids. So sweet, a lot of them have kids. This is what I'm talking about, ladies. You should watch, Esther, you would love.

And like, okay, I know that as a person in a relationship, I'm speaking from a place of privilege and I shouldn't be acting like I know what I'm talking about but I feel like I hear from my single friends that they go on so many dates. And I'm sort of like... Some of those guys could have, it could have worked. And I don't blame them. I think it's just you get into the system

where you just think there's more, better, more, better. Like, you know, next, swipe, whatever. And I'm like, I don't know, we were talking about this with Rainn Wilson, how he was saying, like, marriage is hard, but my problems will follow me to the next relationship or whatever, and so, I don't know. Arrange marriages.

Something interesting they're saying about arrange marriages is it's also family and friends who pick out the person for you. So it's not, so I'm like, do I want my family and friends picking a partner? Do you? Please tell us. I don't think so.

This is legally binding. Oh, let us do it. I think I could choose really well for you, Stella. Same. Really? Yes. Because I think that- Better than you can choose?

Better than you could, yes. 100%. I mean, that's very clear, yeah. But I think that, I think she's right. We could absolutely pick you like a really great boy. Cool. And he doesn't have to be, you know. Well, he should be a man first of all.

Yeah, well. Yeah, man, man. Yeah, I'm good with a man. She can make him a man. Yeah, she can make him a man, oh no. But I, in Asia, I guess they still do this in certain cultures where they have to keep the wealth so they'll marry like a second cousin, third cousin

and just like hopefully no one comes out funky looking. Hey, if my cousin was rich, let's go. How many cousins you got? Not honestly, not that many. Why are you like sighing and thinking about the number then? No, because I had a lot, but some of them were like not real blood really. This is I'm like, I'm actually getting like really anxious and scared. I feel like you have done something bad to your cousins. And I, they're

fine. They're safe. No one's heard from them for a while. I was the last person that saw them, but no one knows that until now. So next conversation, next question. Okay. Do you have cousins? I have two cousins. That's it?

Yeah, that's all I have. That's it? Sucks for me, right? No, it's actually a great thing. I got, how many you got? A lot and got molested by some. Oh my God. Yeah, I know. That's it. That sucks for me, right? No, it's actually a great thing. I got- How many you got? A lot and got molested by some. Oh my God.

Yeah, I know. Having a lot of cousins is not always great. And you were nervous when you were talking to me. Oh God. Yeah, sorry. I should rephrase that. We don't use the M word, right? It's fine.

Yeah. We don't? I feel like you are allowed to say whatever you want. Thank you. But yeah, we- I don't think that's a real rule. But having a lot of cousins, I feel like you are allowed to say whatever you want. Thank you. But having a lot of cousins, in my family, I'm telling you, 100% of the men are shitty. Wow.

It's so crazy that I can't think of a single man or a redeemable male figure outside of my dad, like within my family. And my mom had like, has 10 siblings. Really? So you can imagine how many cousins I have just on her side. And all the men are like shitty husbands,

philandering, like don't have jobs. But all the women are like incredible. You know what? All the women in my family are on a second marriage. They all like, starting with my grandma, my mom and my sister, they all had kids, and then the guy leaves, and then they... Wait, I didn't even tell you guys,

my sister got married. You're... What? We just met. You're the most excited one. You're crying. Wait, when was it, and where were we? My sister, who I have shit talked on this podcast

for years. Okay, all I do is talk shit about her. Older, younger. Older. Eight years. Eight years older. Okay. Well, you have an older sister?

Huge, yes. But just love to be little sisters. Are you a little sis? I am a little sis. Whoa. But we're so different because you and your sister are like basically twins. Twins, yeah.

How old, how much older is yours? She's two years older than me. Oh, kind of similar then. Mine were like a year and some change apart. Oh, interesting. But we're really close, attached at the hip. Oh, and you guys are far apart, so does it kind of feel like you were raised

as an only child in one? Exactly, and technically it does count. I do count as an only child, but so my sister has had the worst dating experiences. Like, I cannot even tell you, like, the last one was a guy that broke up with her, but then they stayed living together and they were still sort of seeing each other.

Then she finds out that whole time he had a different girlfriend. Like, all this stuff. Meanwhile, me and my mom, like, all through the years, like, we see the signs, she doesn't listen. Finally, by the way, then she breaks up with that guy is like going on all these dates. It's just in pure chaos.

She meets an amazing guy in January of this year, cut to they went to Vegas and while they were there decided to get married. So six months, which sounds crazy. So then when we went to go, we brought my baby to meet my sister and she's like, surprise, we got married and we're all so happy because he's amazing.

We love him. Like finally she found a good guy. So this is like literally the best thank you. This is a huge win for me because I'm telling you, if you go back, rewind the tapes, I'll be like having conversations like, you know when you have someone in your life and they're dating, it's always about my sister.

My sister was like that too. She dated a lot of like really tall drug dealers for a long time. And one of them, he, and like I've been with my husband for a long time, so he's also saw all of these boyfriends can't come and go for my sister. And one of them, anyways, I think about it every time, we were having a party in the backyard,

and he's this big tall drug dealer guy, and he's sitting around the campfire, and we're all hanging out, and he's like, he's telling this story, he's like, and he would talk like this, yo, he's also from Alberta, like we're all from, you know, so he's like, yo, like, you could take a rip in my truck,

like that kind of like, buddy, what's up, like that kind of voice. Okay, so he was telling a story and he was like yeah So I'm in this office building and I get in the elevator right and I rip one like so bad like major fart man Like sick as shit man I like filled the elevator with my fart man and the door opens and this hot ass ladies on the other side And I just go like literally I just go Madame hot ass ladies on the other side and I just go like literally I just go, madame, madame. And we're sitting around this campfire, this man said the punchline of this

story, the word madame, maybe 14 times. Just, madame, no literally, I was like, doors open, madame. She's just standing there, I'm literally like, what am I going to do, madame. And I was listening to this man tell the story, I was like, if am I going to do? Madame? And I was listening to this man tell a story. I was like, if my sister marries him, am I going to kill myself? So then I started hunting for a boyfriend for my sister and I set her up on a blind date and she married him. Oh my god. Change marriages.

Okay. So I'm happy that your sister, because that's your brother. Like we have to be kind of, you know, it's important for us to have a good brother. 100% agree. A huge deal. And like also, you know what? No one knows. If you're out there and your family doesn't like who you're with, listen to them. Okay? Yeah, they're not jealous of you. On behalf of me and Lisa, listen to them. Because I trust you and I trust me for my sister. Because the only alternative is that somebody is trying to sabotage something that is good, I trust you and I trust me for my sister.

Because the only alternative is that somebody's trying to sabotage something that is good, which is not true. It's not like your mom's being like, oh, your boyfriend's so hot, I want to fuck him, pick up with him. That's not what's happening. We're genuinely worried about you. We don't like him. The caveat to that though, I will say, is there are an insane amount of really toxic in-laws, like especially like mom.

And like I told you about my cousin who has like a nine year old boy and she's already talking about like whoever comes into his life, I'm gonna snatch her eyes out of her face and it's like, dude, your son is nine and you're already acting like a fucking monster. But that, there are, so it's like, she may hate everyone he's ever with. Right? Okay, so when it comes to mother son.

Yeah, mother daughter is so different. There's a, it's a, yes. And also, even mother daughter is tricky because you're just never gonna listen to your mom. Yeah. Like, I think sister, family, like, I don't know. But it is, you're bringing up an interesting point. Like, it doesn't really work with your mom. Like, it doesn't apply. I think you're right.

Although, I will say, I try my best to not interfere in my sister's relationships to possibly both our detriment. Like, I watched her being a sixth year. And because I had meddled early on in her earlier interfere in my sister's relationships to possibly both our detriment. Like I watched her being a six-year and because I had meddled early on in her earlier relationships and that I feel like didn't go well so there was one relationship soon after that that she was in for six years that was so fucking toxic. This guy was just like a hallmark like narcissist, like malignant

narcissist and because I had promised to never intervene again and to just let her like make her own decisions, she stayed in it for six fucking years and she's still paying the price for it, like psychologically, like they've long, you know, been broken up, but now I'm like, fuck, I feel un-sisterly that I didn't step in there and really be like, you know what,

this guy's a fucking monster. Like you need to get out, I will help you. But let me just tell you, meddling doesn't fucking work. It does work. Okay, it does work if you do it right. And I'll tell you what's the right way. The right way is this, okay. You, you, you, okay.

So say Kaililah was dating someone that I didn't like. Okay. And I wanted to help you. I would take a piece of paper and I would write with my left hand so you can't recognize my writing. And I'd write some ghostly, like, and it'd almost make it rhyme. And I would say something like,

"'Ye be warned, the boy is bad. "'If ye don't leave him will be sad.'" Like a kind of a riddle and a warning. And then I would put it somewhere scary in your house. Like under a floorboard, somewhere where it's like actually gonna take a long time to find it. And the day you find it, actually going to take a long time to find and the day you find it, it will feel like, how did I find this?

Like it'll be like, I'll put it behind a painting or something. And then knowing that you're moving in two months and you're going to take the painting off the wall and it falls to the ground and you stop and you pick it, this crumpled up thing and I've burnt the edges with a lighter. So it looks really old. And you open it. It's like this foreboding feeling takes over your moans. And you're like, I'm going to come to you. I'm going to be like, foreboding feeling takes over your moans. And you're like, this-

And I'm gonna come to you, I'm gonna be like, hey, I found this behind, under the floorboard. Yeah, and I'm like, girl, that's really scary. Like, I obviously would never do something, that's not from me or anyone you know, that's from like the other realm. And Klyla's like, I didn't ask if it was from you, I never would have thought that. Why are you saying that? Oh no, and I was just saying, just, it's from the other realm, that's what I was saying. And I agree with you, That's what I was saying.

It's from the probably another realm. I guess I said that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Brilliant idea. If you've heard of Ozempic or Wegovi, you've probably heard three things. They're effective, but they're expensive and they're hard to get.

And that is where Rho comes in. Through Rho, you can access prescription compounded GLP-1s with the same weight loss ingredient as brand name GLP-1s at a fraction of the cost. Rho has compounded GLP-1s in stock now. You can get in in one to four days if you qualify. Rho members have support throughout the process and if eligible for medication, patients have access to their provider on demand for any questions. You can see if you qualify from the comfort of your own home. This means no scheduling a doctor's appointment, no commute to the doctor's office, and no

waiting rooms. If prescribed, your medication ships directly to you in one to four days. Go to rho.co. Memberships start at just $99 for your first month. Medication costs are separate. That's r o dot c o slash trash Tuesday. Go to row.co slash safety for black box warning and full safety information. Compounded medication is not required to and does not receive FDA review or approval. Rx only.

review or approval, RX only. And by the way, anything I ever find behind a painting, immediately I'm doing what it says. Of course. There's no option to not do that. I did something, I actually did something that I tried to scare someone else and ended up scaring myself, but I was staying in an Airbnb at Blue Mountain in Ontario and there was like all these creepy little vases, vases, however you want to say them, or maybe they were like jars,

because they had lids, but they were, you know, when Airbnb just has a decoration that you're like, what is this? What have you done here? Why so many little jars everywhere? So then, and they were like way up high, and I was like, how funny would it be if I got a chair and I climbed all the way up there and I took one down and I wrote on a piece of paper,

you shouldn't have opened this. And then I put it in and I put it up on the thing and I was like, that would be so funny and scary for if one day somebody does go like, what is this Airbnb? What are in these jars? And then that night I was trying to sleep and I couldn't sleep knowing that the note

was in the jar in the kitchen. I was like, I know I put it there, but it's still giving me the willies. Oh my God, that's so cute. So I believe secret notes have power, even if you write them. I really wanna have a spooky sleepover with you. I love spooky, but I get so scared so easy.

I'm still afraid of the dark. I can't watch any scary movies, but I love to weave a scary tale. Esther, I feel like you're super brave. I am, but I like to get into the mode of being spooked out and then like have fun with it. Like it's almost like being tickled. That's how I know you're not an easily spooked girl

because I do not seek out those experiences. Like I like- You like stay with you, right? Right, all the lights are on. I am not beyond going crawling into bed with Jules, my niece who I live with, because I'm scared of something in the house. We call our place 10% haunted.

Really? There are some noises that aren't making sense to either of us. And over Christmas, I just got the feeling behind my neck and I was like, hey, as a family, we're all sleeping in one room tonight. I do that. And your family agreed to that?

Yeah. You have power in your family. They're really sweet about it because like they know I'm that terrified. How did you get everyone to do that? Everybody bring their own mattress? Slumber party by the Christmas tree. Oh, that's so fun.

What a perfect time to get scared at Christmas. You're like, let's all sleep by the Christmas tree. It'll be funny. It's the only time it makes sense. I know. And I had everyone just sort of like pile on top of each other because I was that spooked. But they did it. Part of me is wondering like what happened in the Philippines. Catholicism. Right. The exorcist forced to watch it at the age of seven and she's like crawling backwards

on the stairwell. They were forced to watch it? Of course, as a family. It was family movie night and they were like, hey, let's throw on some Linda Blair. What a great actress. So I mean, there's no context for a seven-year-old. You're just like, oh. I feel like Homeward Bound would have been a better choice.

I did watch that for library hour, like the week after in school, but no, the choices my family made, all traumatizing. Wow, I guess we watched some, we didn't watch scary stuff, but there was, my parents would watch any movie and we were allowed to join as long as they didn't hear us repeat the language. And then one day I was clipping my nails

and I hurt myself and I did say shit. And then I wasn't allowed to watch those kind of movies for a while. What kind of movies? What were, cause are you gonna have, are you gonna allow ace non wholesome things? I think so because I had like for in my, in my day, there was no like children's things.

It was like, what? What do you mean in your day? There was no children's things. Okay, I'm glad you followed up. I got nothing. No, I like, if I was going out with my parents, like we went to see the movie they wanted to see. Like Twister.

Exactly, that was the literally only example where I started crying and we had to leave after five minutes because a dog gets hurt in the first scene. Right. Oh no. But like I remember all my, one weekend, like all my friends went to see Land Before Time and I was like, oh, I saw Jurassic Park

and I can't stop crying because it was really scary. Like I just, but I also sort of, there's a maturity there that I enjoy, I don't know. No, I think that's true, because I feel like the weirdest people we know are the ones that were like not allowed to watch The Simpsons. I literally always bring up The Simpsons

as like, if you were not allowed to watch it, you're, I don't, you can't sit with me. Yeah, right. I mean, it makes a weird adult. But I'm scared that you weren't allowed to watch it because of what you just said. I was. Okay, thank God, okay.

And I'm talking about when I was banned from the movies they were watching, it was like, they were watching like, I don't know, remember that movie Long Kiss Good Night with Gina Davis where she's like an assassin who would slit people's throats like it was stuff like that. It wasn't like Simpsons, okay Simpsons was for kids. It was like those movies the ones with all Sex and swearing. Yeah. Yeah, okay Like the ones that I got temporarily banned from and for like a week because I said shit Wow

Yeah, what was it like to be disciplined? Oh my God. You never been spanked? No, it wasn't really even, I didn't get disciplined a lot. It was like, you know, I think it was a temporary movie threat, but no, I think I really ran amok a lot. Did you guys get disciplined? That's why you're the smartest one of the three of us. Can you feel it? I feel it every minute.

Yeah, I'm telling you, it does nothing. It does nothing for your brain. Quite the opposite, actually. It almost like melts it into just a puddle of sadness. Oh, Kaila. I'm so sorry I said that. I take that back. It's joyous to be disciplined.

But you are such a, look, I do this comes up every time and I always fight you on the reality of your childhood. But you are so hard working and I think because I work in comedy as do you, but you seem like you come from like a better, healthier, happier, more successful side of it. But on where I come from, everyone is a mess. It's lawless. People can't do their assignments. They can't show up the right way.

And so that's why I like meeting you. You're just so in line, and gonna say in line and that sounds negative. But you seem in control. You do the job that you're, you know? Yes, yes, I can do homework. Yeah. Yeah, I can do homework, I can show up to a workplace. I can- You're a good coworker.

You're reliable. Function. You're a fucking reliable person. Wiley, you're a perfectionist. Thank you. That's probably the problem. The best thing is that you are a perfectionist. Any little thing that's out, you will notice it.

It makes a great employee. Kaila, are you the type of person where it's like if somebody, if we were like doing a get together, we're doing a picnic or something, I'm like, yeah, you guys, I'm really going to need someone to just like write down all the foods that we said we were bringing on a Google spreadsheet. Are you like? No, I'm not type A like at all, but I do need to usually have my closest allies need to be some version of type A. I'm like Esther in that I'm a really intelligent delegator. Like I am very resourceful. I know where to go for things I need. And I know how to put together a project.

Be careful around us, because we'll put you to work. Yes, try. We'll put you all our business ideas. What's a good way to trick someone into doing something for you? Find out what they're good at, find out what they like doing,

and is that something that you need in your life? That was quick. Literally, I already cast you as Miss Rachel. Right, you're right, and I was like, literally I already cast you as Miss Rachel. Right, you're right. And I was like, I'll come over and be Miss Rachel. Okay, interesting. You already got me to agree to free babysitting. 20 seconds into the podcast.

Okay, you're good. Thank you. You're good. Do you cook? What else do you have going on? Definitely don't cook. We're just curious about you. But I did hear something recently that I thought was interesting in relationships,

that instead of like requesting or demanding the thing you need, like say you are really stressed out and you want the house clean. And if you come home and it's gonna be dirty, you're gonna have a full meltdown. And so you tell your partner like, hey, I just really need you to clean the house while I'm gone or I'm gonna explode. Apparently that's not the psychologically best manipulative way to

get what you want. You go instead, you go like, you just say I'm so stressed out and I feel like the house is so chaotic and I'm just like having a really hard time like calm down and so that the other person could go like, oh I think I could know what would help and then they think they came up with the idea themselves and they're giving you like a special treat. Oh that's cute. And then everybody feels good. But this goes back to high context low context. Yes. Culture. Refresh us. Remember that it could that could really backfire. Well wait the last thing I'll say is it doesn't actually have to be the house being cleaned but

it's like then you give your partner the chance to help you in whatever way they think would be nice to help you. So you might come home and the house might be dirty but maybe they made dinner or, but it's like, then you give your partner the chance to help you in whatever way they think would be nice to help you. So you might come home and the house might be dirty, but maybe they made dinner or something. So it's like they did something of their own creation. This feels like a little, like training a man to do, like that's what it feels like. Well, it's kind of giving them the feeling like,

I did this for her. She didn't tell me to do this, I did this. Yeah, like I thought of my very own idea. I didn't do this for her. She didn't tell me to do this. I did this. Yeah, like I thought of my very own idea. Canada is too cold to grow something like this. You guys want bananas?

Are we supposed to eat this on the camera? You don't have to. You don't have to. Are you guys making some sort of like feminist statement? Because isn't there laws about... Not at all. You know there's laws about women eating bananas, something like that? What are the that what are the laws i don't know if it's an improv game you're starting because i've seen you with rick last minute and you guys do a lot of improv games and i was really

nervous about that but i'm not gonna make you do any of our pieces okay everyone do a commercial for a banana oh my god okay wait i want to i wanted to the whole time i want to play play with me I wanted to the whole time. I wanna play, play with me. Okay, action. Oh shit, no, no, no. You are selling a banana that is hypoallergenic and no one could be allergic to it. Oh my God, I love.

Wait, high context, low context. We're really, I forget which is which. Forget it then. But you're either, you're either one of two categories. You're somebody who's like, I need a blanket or are you like, it's really cold here and then hope that someone picks up on your cues and gives you a blanket.

That feels like passive aggressive. Right, but that's her. But it's not so much that it's passive aggressive as apparently it depends what culture you come from because for us in our culture, it's rude to ask outright ask for something. It's better to, it's not as like polite than you're supposed to just wait till it's offered.

Kind of deal. But I do like, even though I see that in myself, it would annoy me about other people. Because when people do it with me, I'm like, let's fucking ask me. But you wouldn't ask? I would now, because you've trained me. That's right, I train everyone.

My trainer, my coach, my codependency coach. Yes. Oh, because you have to be more, look, I'm not gonna, I just ate one part of it, and I'm gonna put this on it as if. Oh, we can return it actually, thank you for saving us money. That looks so much like a penis.

Actually something's wrong with this banana. It's short inside. Save it for the next episode. What the hell, this banana's short inside. Why the peel is longer than the banana? What the hell? That's sick, take it back. Wait, did anyone see this New York Times article?

What? What are you gonna say about the ballerina farm? No, but wait, wait, how are you reading my mind about ballerina, we saw the same TikTok today? Maybe. Oh my God. What's ballerina farm? We have to talk about ballerina farm. Okay, can you go first?

Cause I wanna know where you're at. So basically she is the queen of all tradwives. That's not the article you were talking about. The Times article. No, I was going to talk about something else, but I don't even care about what that was anymore. Wait, is this woman's first name Ballerina Last Name Farm? No, Lisa! Is this your first day in America?

Okay? No. Well, Ballerina Farm, beautiful name for a baby girl. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Cute. If Ace gets a baby sister, Ballerina Farm. Ballie.

Look, it's a great, she's like, you go to her page, they're making fresh bread, they're chopping. They're growing other ballerinas, it sounds like. Yes, they're building ballerinas. They're popping out babies. They're living the perfect trad life, dare I say. Those are all her kids? Yes.

Eee. Now. Hey. I don't know what that sound was. That's so scary. As a new mom and a former ballerina, might I add. Former ballerina? Well, that's sort of a lie.

I took ballet class, but you can be anything you want to be in America. When I discovered ballerina, I think it's actually Ireland. Baldwin had tagged her and I she's like mom friend. And I was like, what is this? And. I instantly was like consuming our content. This is goals.

Like, I want to be this right. Because it's like you have a baby and all of a sudden you're like, I'm going to be a farmer and everything's different now, which is not true. We're still here breathing in the toxic LA air. But she, this article I guess came out. Wait, is there anything else you want to say about Ballerina Farm pre-article? No, I wanted to ask you how your trad wife journey was coming along. Oh, well, that's a different conversation. It's I'm trying to think. I go to the farmer's market for my bread.

I'll start there. I don't make it myself. But this article came out and basically, I guess a lot of people knew this. I didn't. Her husband is like the heir to the the JetBlue family. Wow. They're like billionaires. And then apparently he's kind of controlling something. What? To the tradwife?

No. I know. But I do think there is an element of this isn't a real tradwife. I still think she is producing so much content. No, if you exist in public, you're not a tradwife. Exactly. Exactly.

But what if he is writing all the scripts and saying you have to make these TikToks? Nothing're not a tradwife. Exactly. If you are a tradwife, you need to hide. But what if he is writing all the scripts and saying you have to make these TikToks? Nothing could be more tradwife than that. That square jawed motherfucker, I bet he is doing that. I bet he is. And also in the article, like he said that, or whatever, whoever says that she'll have to be like,

spend one whole week in bed from exhaustion which that part I have to say really made me feel better because I as a mother of one baby that can't even walk I am so tired and so exhausted that I have to do full days in bed with her like it is so much fucking work and I see people with ten and I'm like what is going on so that part did soothe me quite a bit. So she spends a whole week in bed, she says? Yeah, but online she's like, again, using every part of the cow, doing it all.

Using every part of the cow? That part I agree with. Well, yeah, but what's she, the trad wife, I don't know, she doesn't look like she's cracking open a cow skull and doing something, using it as a bowl. Right, and you know what? That is the ultimate trad wife, unless she's doing the actual butchering.

I think she is. She is. In my mind, she is. That's just not the content she's putting out. I haven't seen her with pig entrails or anything like that. Isn't just the concept ballerina farm a beautiful ballerina who's mining a farm? When I was a kid my parents read me a book called Balloon Farm and it was about a guy who grew balloons. He grew them? Like plants?

Uh-huh and it was like wonderful like they would grow out of the ground already kind of twisted up into a horse or whatever kind of fun shape. So ballerina Farm kind of evokes the same imagery to me. Because the farmer would go out at night, because no one was allowed to know that his farm was growing balloons, because it's kind of a special wacky farm, and it was magic. It was obviously-

It might not good for the environment. Well. Yeah, for the birds. You guys, please, please. The ocean, come on, Lisa. It was grown by magic, so. Let's kill her dreams. Obviously.

But Ballerina Farm sounds like, you know, farmer goes out to check on the crops at night. You see a wisp of blonde hair poking up from the soil. He's like, this one's ready. Yanks the bun. Full dirty ballerina comes out. Oh my God. You are going to really entertain ace this weekend.

I can really tell. Should we write that movie? Scary. Wait a second. What did they do in the balloon farm with the balloons? I think he just gave them to kids and made them happy. But I do remember the drawings were really scary

because he had glasses, he had wire frame glasses and the image that I have is like a picture, it was at night and the balloons coming out of the ground is glowing and you could like see the reflection of it in his glasses. Look how scary. What kind of books did you guys read? Something tells me you didn't have any books.

I was beat with balls. What kind of books did you guys read? Something tells me you didn't have any books. I was beat with books. We'd have to like duck. I'm not even kidding you. You don't think in third grade would take like whole books and like launch them at kids. Your teacher beat you? No, not us, the bad kids. I was a smart one. I was class president for six years.

Six years, six more years. Yeah. Whoa. That's actually how long the presidential terms are in the Philippines, so thank you for saying that. I am available. That's a really long time, that's a career. Talk about manipulating someone

into doing free work for you. Yeah. Unless you got paid. I think the kids in my class, cause we were a K to 12 school, they got programmed to voting for me every single year. Like I was, I don't remember what I had to do. You were the principal and you had no idea. You were hiring teachers.

I think I was just the smartest kid in the class and they were just like, she'll do. And then the worst part is they voted class janitor. And it was always my sister, but in high grade. What? Class janitor? Yeah. So they would, there was a hierarchy and I was always my sister, but in high grade. She was a grade above me. Class janitor? Yeah, so there was a hierarchy, and I was president every year, but my poor sister was class janitor every year.

I don't know, she just wasn't- Her hands are mops? Yeah, I mean, she had really long arms too. She's sort of like a knuckle-draggers. Oh, God. She's beautiful now. She's six feet tall, she's stunning, she's gorgeous. But she used to be class janitor. Lanky, yeah, she was the lanky class janitor. Oh, God. That's so fucked up. She's beautiful now. She's six feet tall. She's stunning.

She's gorgeous. But she used to be a class janitor. Like, lanky. Yeah, she was the lanky class janitor. Was she, like, really clean-teaming? Like, was there at least, like, a positive spin to it? No, they could just punk her. She was very quiet and meek and just not the popular kid in class, so they were like, she's

the janitor. And what did the class janitor have to do? Clean, Lisa. Pick up stuff. But, like, so there was no there was no other school custodian. It was like, you take out the garbage, you're doing it. So you're cleaning the toilet. Maybe.

Not quite, but you would have your in-classroom chores and tasks. I am getting so, I'm downloading so much information right now, the fact that you are class president. You fucking little nerd. I know, right? You little dork. I'm going to much information right now. The fact that you are class president, like you fucking little nerd. I know, right? You little dork. I'm gonna boss you around.

Also, like, the kickball team. I was like a stud. What were you, were you like anything? Are you nobody? I was like, I was basically always being asked to leave and please go sit out in Hawaii until you can calm your ass down. So if our class had a janitor or a president,

I never would have met either of them. Did you get any like most likely's or any of those things? Like a superlative? Most likely to end up in prison. Most likely to be a dungeon girl. Ballerina, farm ballerina. Most likely to scare you. No, I didn't get any most likely's.

No? I won a drama award in seventh grade, which really surprised me because my teacher did not, no teachers ever liked me. So then that year I won an award, that was the only year I ever got an award and I couldn't believe it. Why didn't they like you? Because I had attention problems and I talked too much and yeah, I remember one of my teachers, Ms. Retzlaff, she sat me down in the hallway and she was like, you know, some of the other

kids in class are saying that, like you're distracting them while they're trying to learn and you're actually disrupting their focus. And I was, I remember being like, okay, suck my dick about it then. And then, and then I walked home by myself and cried the whole way. Cause I was like so tough to them, but I was like,

other kids really say that? Other kids are trying to focus, huh? I don't wanna stop them from focusing. But now that I look back and I'm like, there's no way another 11 year old came to and said like, Other kids are trying to focus, huh? I don't want to stop them from focusing. But now that I look back, I'm like, there's no way another 11-year-old came to you and said, like, excuse me, I'd love to be focusing right now, but Lisa's talking to me. No, she lied. Who wants to be focusing? I mean, except for Kaila.

Yeah. Oh yeah, Aida. And Dave. Dave? My... Your trad husband? Yeah, my Chad Husby. He literally, like, there's a story that he tells about being in class in high school

and the teacher surprising them with a pop quiz and all the kids are like, what? No, ugh. And then Dave. Oh no. Dave literally goes, guys, what's the point of reading if we're not gonna retain the information? Oh no. Oh my God.

I know, so I'm drawn to you losers. How old is he? Right now? No, and when this happened. I don't know. Oh, hang on one second. The class president and being the top of my, I was beat into submission by a very strict mother, okay?

Do you think I wanted to be good at anything? No, I wanted to play, twiddle my thumbs and like- You're clowning on Dave? Yes, that was a choice. He clearly had great parents. You can have a really abusive parent and be a very good student and you can have really great parents and produce a Dave.

I was the other side of that. But do you have skills and tricks and treats now that you can do that you wouldn't have been able to do if you didn't get discipline so hard? I have a lot side of that. But do you have skills and tricks and treats now that you can do that you wouldn't have been able to do if you didn't get discipline so hard? I have a lot of like empathy. Do you play any instruments? No, zero.

Cause that's sometimes the thing. Like piano kids resent their parents, but then I'm like, at least you can play piano. You either can love your dad or play piano. Those are kind of your choices. No, I was just like an athlete. So I- Did they make you do that? Yeah.

Oh, so you did get a skill from their strict nature. Yeah, so I'm for the Philippine national team, and then I got like a floor ride to college and stuff. Whoa, you're such a self-starter. She starts businesses. She started, my mom would start me, would literally... But that made you a self-starter now. You started Tiger Belly, you started Ebb, you basically started Trash Tuesday, like

you did. But you get things going and if your parents hadn't beaten you. You're right, you're so right. I love your take on this. But I'm by the way, I don't think anyone should beat their kids. I think it's so fucked up and I'm not for it, but because it's already happened, we have to. Can I tell you the God honest truth

about how I feel about getting beat? Oh no. I do think that I... You're better than everyone you know. I do think that while I don't, I would never beat my kid now. I am thankful that I got, like someone shook me in that way.

Where it put me... Literally? It put me, like there are some people I meet in the wild where I'm like, that bitch has never been shaken. Been shaken and I can tell. You can just point right at me when you say it. You don't have to point ambiguously. You were kept in a cage, that's enough. You were caged at some point.

No, but you ever come across someone just so fucking entitled and just so just terrible and you're like, oh, like you've never been slapped in the mouth not once in your life have you? You've never had to pluck braces off your lips, have you? Right. Right? Well, this is like, it's mostly like boys, I feel like that were loved too much by their moms.

Maybe, yes. Which I just learned the term Joshy. What's Joshy? Okay, so that's something that a friend of mine told me. She was like, oh, he's so Joshy. And I was like, what's Joshy? And she was like, when his mom was like growing up, Joshy, oh Joshy.

Like, you know when a mom like, you know, there's like a attraction to the sun and the sun is amazing, the sun is so Joshy. That's hashtag boy mom culture. Okay, yeah. But then the boy mom son becomes Joshy. That's hashtag boy mom culture. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But then the boy mom son becomes Joshy. I hate that.

What are we gonna do about boy moms? Are they okay? Cause there's a little- Well, let's check on their kids in a couple years. Why? To a conversation also, a topic that I put in here about parents and their partners. Like if your partner talks to your mom for three hours a day, is that weird or cute?

Partner talks to your mom for three hours a day? If my partner talked to my mom for three hours in a year, I'd be like, what the fuck's going on with you guys? Right? Yeah. Three hours a day is excessive. Is there a right number? What if it's every day?

10 minutes? I don't know. I talk to my sister every single day. Yeah, but that's not, your partner talking to your mom, is that what you said? Yeah. Wait, partner talking to his mom? So like Dave, oh, his own mom.

I thought it was talking to our moms. Of course, his own mom. Yeah, no, that would mean that they're in a relationship. Right. If it was the other way. Yeah, right. They are seeing each other. After having a baby, Dave and his mom talk a lot, because the baby and stuff, and I'm into it now. But I think it's different now.

Early in a relationship, that absolutely does freak me out a little bit. It would freak me out if the mom was constantly calling for reasons that weren't important. That would be like, okay, like, is she just possessive of you? Does she piss around you? Are you her property? Is she Joshie? Right.

So that would freak me out a bit. Yeah, I saw some girls say that, like, when you get married, your partner becomes your family, and your parents become your extended family. And I sort of feel like that transition happened for me just like they're having ace. Like, oh, this is my family. Wait, have I ever told you when I was little? And I found out that my mom had her own mom and I fucking panicked. But wait, who did you think your grandma was? I didn't, I never put it together that that was her.

You're like, I thought I was the only one that could see her. Okay, so then you figured out that lady is actually my mom's mom. And that my mom has her own mom and her own dad. And then I'm like, wait, so where what am I? Right. So I literally I was like late at night, I go in her bed, I'm like, Mom, who's your real family? Is it us?

Pick. Or is it them? Yeah. And thank God she said it was us. And so then I was like, fine. But that's funny that I was so traumatizing for me. This is, I kind of, in the same vein, maybe it's not the same, but I remember being,

maybe that same age, like too young to understand, but I saw a picture of my mom as a young girl on a yearbook and I couldn't handle it and I just started crying. Like the whole day I had a whole meltdown because there was my mom and then now my mom was saying, that's a picture of her when she was young and I couldn't compute it in my head. It's scary.

It was terrifying. I thought it was a feeling of death for me. Like you're gonna lose her or something. Yes. But also you are gonna lose you. Like the existential feeling of like, well, if she could be lose her or something. Yes, yes. But also you are gonna lose you, like the existential feeling of like, well if she could be like that,

then I'm gonna be like her. No, no. I don't think that's a little too mature thinking. Yeah. I think it was like. It's like your mom, you're so attached to your mom. And that image you have of her as she is. Right.

When you see, when she's trying to convince you that that young picture was also her, it like rattled something in me, I just cried for a whole day. It is like death. It's so scary. Wait, did you not have any fucked up scary... Well, I mean, of course, but like, wait, I'm trying to understand. So you're looking at this picture of your mom, and what is it, the idea that she lived a life as a little girl before you were even alive? Yes, because mama looks like mama. She is this very specific picture in my mind every day.

And now she's like, look at this picture. She's like holding up a picture of Pamela Anderson. She's like, that's me. No wonder you were scared. By the way, good idea. I'm doing that. I actually have a theory about this because recently I was working with like a really old celebrity and then I saw a picture of them when they were young and the picture

was so hot that the old man was hot to me. So I was like, I think there is something to that science of like when we get really old we should carry our best pictures of ourselves from like our twenties or thirties so that we can show like just so you just for some context, here's me. Just so you can switch around your noodles. When you see me you kind of have some respect for everything I have been. You know when you were younger and you're like, oh, when you see someone in like their 50s,

you're like, how are they attracted to someone, to each other, they're both so old. When we hit 80, nine years old, hopefully we all get there. Are we gonna find the 80, 90 year olds like hot? I wonder if they- I think we will. This is my theory. We will look at the other 80 year old men and be like, he's good looking,

and the 80 year old man will look at us and be like, she's disgusting. Where's my 25 year old girlfriend? That makes me so sad. I feel like we have the capacity for it and they don't. I know, I also wonder aging with a lover. I know. What is that gonna be?

Like, am I gonna look at him and see him exactly how he looks today, or am I still gonna, in my mind, see a younger, past version? I don't know. But then now, so we've been together over 10 years. When I see him from 10 years ago, I'm like, I can't believe how young that...

Like, it's like, I don't like it, you know? I don't know. Yeah. Anyways. We hope, we hope that we find, you know what? Also, at this age, I find younger men completely repulsive. Yeah, definitely. Of course.

Like late teens, early twenties, I'm like, ugh, gross. Like very yucky, completely yucky to me. So I do think that maybe when we hit that much, that geriatric age, that we might find some hotties in there for us. Oh, yeah. But you're right. They won't like us back. Young men are also the worst, have the worst personalities, too, because like you ever talk to like a young man and he's like, he's like, you're you're really funny. That's literally hilarious.

Like I'm like, oh, like what you're actually supposed to do is say something funny back. You're not supposed to go, you're really funny. That's literally hilarious. Like I'm like, what you're actually supposed to do is say something funny back. You're not supposed to go like, it's so hard to compute. You know? And it's like, oh, there's like an utter lack of personality. Like your whole brain is just like a marble. Well, I was also thinking that he says that because he can't believe that you're funny. But also he has nothing funny to say back. So he just says like, I acknowledge there's humor in the air.

I do feel like I'm guilty of that sometimes. No, but you're so funny. No, like a lot of times when someone is funny, I don't want to like, I just want to leave it at what they did. Like I don't want to add and try it. So I'm like, no, like this ends with you. Like you're so good. So when someone makes a really good joke, you kind of,

I just go like, it's over. Wouldn't it be worse though if the guy tried to one-up your joke and it wasn't funny at all? Well, I don't think there needs to be a one-upping, but there could be like a meeting of the minds. Yeah, a meeting of the minds. Like if I say like, wow, this dinner feels like a crocodile swamp, he should say, watch out for those big teeth.

Instead of saying like, that's so funny that you said that. I mean, why would I ever say this dinner feels like a crocodile swamp? Maybe if it was a really bad dinner, kind of felt threatened. You know, the other day I was like, Dave, I feel like I have so much fun with you, but I feel like you don't have as much fun with me.

He was like, no. And then he was like, well. His reasoning was that his baseline for fun is higher than yours. He was basically like, you have no fun and cool friends and he does. And so like, he, yeah. I think Dave is also a lot more just generally adventurous with like foods and travel.

Going out. Going out, it's, you know, yeah, having general like drinking and making friends in the wild. Sounds like we all have so much to learn from Dave. I wish Dave was here so he could liven up the podcast. He sounds so funny. Should we prank call Dave and his wife? Let's prank him.

No, but I said like the other day I was like, wait, Dave, have you ever had liver? And he was like, what? Esther, you've never had liver? No, I want to. Start with- It sounds so nasty. It's not, liver is so delicious.

Have you have hearts, gizzard? All right. No, have you had this? Have you ever heard that song, my sirs, my gizzard, my gibbity-doo, but not slessard? It's always like- I do miss that song.

It's always like a smile, I see. Have you had liver? I think so. Oh, it says it sounds yucky. No, let's go to- I mean, Esther, you're, I'm actually surprised by this because aren't you half Jewish? Yeah, but my dad, nobody-

Okay. What about like- Everyone was dead. What about in like a pate? No, it sounds really freaky. What about, okay, we'll go to like a yakitori, like a Japanese spot and they just grill it in these little skewers

and you wouldn't even know what part of the animal it was. You would just eat it and be like, oh, this is delicious. I sort of wanna know what part I'm eating. No, you don't need to, that's the point. You can know after. Yeah. Do you eat weird parts?

Sometimes I eat weird stuff, and I went, I lived in China for a little, and I ate a lot of weird stuff. Oh, you did? What did you do there? ate a lot of weird stuff. Oh you did. What did you do there? Why were you living there? I was teaching English. Speaking of, the class janitor culture over there

is to be admired. Because one time a kid threw up in my class and he was sitting in the back and he just threw up. And then the kids on either side of him got up. One got a mop, the other one got the bucket and they met in the middle and they cleaned up all the puke and then put the stuff back and then everyone sat down. We continued the lesson.

I can officially confirm that that's my love language. That is the sweetest, most amazing, that is beautiful. You want two little kids flanking you at all times just in case you barf? Yes, yes mama. Bring back class janitors. I'll tell you what, this about my sister, she was a class yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, In the middle of the Hard Rock Casino in Vegas, she had the most projectile vomit. Like I the most.

In the middle of the casino. In the middle, it was like. Luck be a lady. Yeah. Wow. I remember being so mad because she had borrowed my favorite cowl neck top. Okay, well it sounds like she barfed far enough away from it.

She did, she didn't get a splatter on that cowl neck top. I was like, wow, that's like Olympic style commitment. My sister from the other end ran and caught her vomit with her bare hands. Obviously there's no way to properly catch vomit, but in her head she was like, I'm gonna catch her vomit, she needs me. So she like, she caught the vomit.

I mean, it got everywhere. But very quickly she was like, let's put some chairs around it. Let's call somebody. She was on it. I can't believe that's your. You have it made. Class janitor, she was. You have it made.

You have this sister who is such a good person, is so like helpful and beautiful, and you're so close in age. She really is a fucking angel on Earth. There's no one. I feel so lucky that of all the bad things that happened in my life, that the one thing that I got was like a sturdy sister from like birth to now.

Like she has never wavered in her love, her friendship, her like want to take care of me, like never. Not for one day of her life. Like do you know how like lucky I feel to have that? I am, first of all, I'm so glad to hear that you know how special that is. I'm just like, I want this. Let me in. What happened?

What's your sister's vibe? She didn't, she's also amazing. It's just we're so far apart in age, but she is like perfectionist, super clean. Like she got all that stuff from my mom. Did she ever kick you around? Yes, she bullied me. But like kicking, punching, hitting? Hitting, yes, for sure.

Everybody needs a little bit of hitting from their sister. Rassle here and there. But she like wouldn't let me in her room. She said I had dead skin cells. I was dirty and gross to her. What about you and your sister? Yeah, it's kind of a similar vibe. And I'm like, I'm in therapy now,

but I feel like it's informed a lot of my personality because similar to like the codependent, it's like I never knew when my, I had overstayed my welcome. It was like, every time I was with my, if she let me in her room, it was like, you better be on your best behavior. Cause if I said like one thing, you know, it was like, I was on high alert.

Yeah, or if you touch the wrong thing. Yes, and I was such a terrified child that, and my dad sleeps naked, so I couldn't sleep in the bed with my parents. Oh my God, you had a nakey parent too. Yeah, and so unfortunately, as a terrified child who needed some sort of nighttime comfort, that was off limits for me.

Wait, this is a really interesting conversation because you're right, there is something that cannot happen when you have nakey parents. I had a nakey mom. Mom was always- Nakey mom is much more you have nakey parents. I had a nakey mom. Oh. Nakey mom is much more accessible than nakey dad though. Right. Nakey dad's a very Asian thing usually.

Oh. Like our, nah, it's just maybe it's hot. The country's close to the equator. Maybe that's why people wear their underwear a lot. I had a silk pajama sleeping pill mom, so she couldn't be woken. The only one that could be woken was the naked one, so that's useless to me. So you could never just crawl into bed? No, I was allowed to come in and I could be over top of the cupboards for like 10 seconds. Was he just a hot sleeper or he just wouldn't do this? I don't know, I never asked about this kind of thing for him. I'm not really curious

about nakey mom and nakey dad, like I do think there is a psychological thing that happens to children when you've had one nakey parent. Interesting. Well, I knew that the nakedness was happening, but I was never like around it. But all of it mattered to me was that at night when the terror was at the utmost high and my life was being the most threatened that it's ever been with my own imagination,

I was not allowed to see comfort in the people that raised me. I had to go to my sister's room and I could get into bed with her. But if I rolled over or made any movement I was gone. So this became the personality of a person who's like, you know, just... And so socially I feel like that's also where I'm at. Like I'm like, I'm hanging, but I'm like, don't want to get kicked out of the bed.

So I don't want to like say something wrong. This is so similar to me. Like I was, I was allowed to sleep in bed with my, and then she got to an age where she was like, you're gross, and I was never allowed back in. And I feel like my whole life is chasing, like getting back into my sister's room. Like anytime I meet like a cool girl, I'm like, how do I get in her bed?

Yeah. It's so true though. I feel you. Yes. Oh my God, Lisa, I feel like we could talk for a thousand more years, a thousand more episodes. We have to wrap up. I'm so sad. Can I tell you a dirty secret before we wrap up? Yes.

You and I have met before. And it just hit me last night. Wait, I need hints. Okay, I'll give you a kind of kind of a troll under the bridge riddle. Okay. Riddley two, I met you two years ago in a country so forlough. A snowy day, a summery break.

Time gone near just pour rear. So Montreal? Yeah? Yeah. But what? Just pour rire. Just for laughs. But what, like, I-

Okay, so strange. I was literally thinking about this yesterday. So I was living in Toronto and they hired me to do, like, interviews for Scary Mommy Blog and it was a nightmare before Christmas because I had to go and, like, interview, and I was interviewing comedians, but, um, it was devastating, because I'd, like, have to call people over and they had this big list, and they'd be like, there's so-and-so, like, go get them, go talk to them,

like, Jimmy Carr, whoever, bring them over. And then I'd start interviewing them, but then it was, like, my secret mission was to ask them about, like, their children. And then ever, and especially the women would walk away being like... Oh, no, what happened with me? I mean was I really no no you told me you were breastfed until you're like five or something

We oh my god, I do know that you look familiar, but I always know that was just because You're always podcasting with my nemesis Rick Glassman Are you guys immortal enemies? No, it's just complicated. Oh, I can't wait to hear about it. But will you please come back? Every week we love you so much. You're so much fun.

Oh my god, I would love to come back. Thank you, my banana boys. I'm addicted to you. Where can people find you? Oh god. Ew. Yes, yes, yes. That was the right move.

Yeah, that was the right move. Where, yeah, that was the right move. Where do people, what do we do? How do we plug you? At the Lisa Gilroy. On Instagram, your videos are so funny. There's no one like you. There's no one like her. She's so special and she's on so many cool TV shows.

She's our Miss Rachel. Yeah, the Miss Rachel of Trash Tuesday. Or just adults. Okay, yeah. Goodbye babies. Good night. I love you. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. We love you guys. Bye..