Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - My Prince Became a Frog

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: Liquid I.V. - Get 25% off when you go to https://www.liquidiv.com and use code TRASHTUESDAY at checkoutAthletic Greens - Go to https://athleticgreens.com/tuesday to get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchaseLiquid Death - Get free shipping on all water and merch at https://liquiddeath.com/trash Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Marriage & Taking on a New Last Name7:10 Elvis Presley’s Odd Turn Off & Mama Khalyla with Bobby Lee11:32 Tying Your Hair Up Leads to Hair Loss?15:15 Nostalgic Turn Ons & We Like Alcohol Breath25:32 Bobby Lee & Khalyla’s Intimate Circuit Training29:42 The First Kiss Approach & Rejection39:05 Lost Chemistry With Old Crushes55:31 High Expectations of a Hot Guy That Disappoints on a Date 59:20 Liking Someone But Struggling to be Intimate With Them1:05:26 Sharing the Last Song We Played on Our Playlist Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende

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offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply statement mobile for details hello sluggy wuggies i'm so excited that we have this liquid iv you guys can grab your liquid iv in bulk nationwide at costco or get 25 off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code trash tuesday that's 25 off your order when you shop using promo code trash Tuesday at liquid IV.com. You guys, we love athletic greens with one delicious scoop of athletic greens. You're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day. Right. To make it easy. Athletic greens is

going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin d and five free travel packs with your first purchase all you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash tuesday again that is athleticgreens.com slash tuesday to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance let's talk about liquid death it is our favorite drink here on this show right now i have bury it alive i have the severed lime in my favorite green mango chainsaw gold because obviously and we say death to plastic and we love drinking water out of our tall boy cans because why not and you guys can get free shipping on all water and merch at liquid death.com slash trash. That's liquid death.com slash trash or find liquid death at 711 target Albertson Safeway or Amazon. Hi slugs. I'm doing stand up on the road and you can see me in DC, Austin and I think elsewhere.

I added some dates Seattle. I don't remember but Esther on ice.com for tickets. I can't wait to see you on the road. It's been so amazing. I just love meeting you guys. You can come see me this weekend, July 29th, in Austin, Texas at the Vulcan Gas Company. There's just one night there, so get your tickets before they sell out.

Springfield, Missouri, the Blue Room Comedy Club. I'll be there August 12th through 13th. Homestead, Pennsylvania. I'll be at the Pittsburgh Improv. I'll be in Tempe, Arizona. I'm going to be at the Coluso California Casino. It's going to be so fun. That's one night only two. Those are all in September. Then you can see me later on in the year in Kansas City, Irvine, California, San Jose, Michigan, and Florida. And a lot more dates coming. So go to Annie Letterman.com slash.

Oh, JLo and Ben and Ben got married. This, this, this whole thing. It's so embarrassing. Do you remember when we were in Palm Springs and I said, I think she just was like lustful for him again and the sex must have been good this is not gonna last this is like her just you know reclaiming the

good sex they once had yeah it turns out there's love I how is it not for publicity I'm so sorry okay explain how is it not because they JLo has been in the spotlight non-stop like for the last i feel like two years right i almost feel like hustlers oscar campaign i obviously just watched the documentary like that didn't work out and so it's like she's going back to her roots she's like i'm gonna have a bunch of marriages i'm gonna go back to ben i don't know i i don't know either because i did read that letter she sent out in her newsletter and I'm sure someone I'm not sure if she wrote it herself and she signed Jennifer Lynn Affleck I know and um I you know maybe when you're in your 50s you just there's clarity and

maybe you just are like I'm not wasting any time I'm an Affleck now. An Affleck. Yeah. Jennifer Affleck. I'm not ready. He's a Lopez. He should have been. He's a Lopez. Yes, he should have been a Lopez.

Ben Lopez. He likes Latin girls. Really? Yeah, because he dated that Spanish actress. Ana de Armas. Oh yeah. Yeah. Every other girl on Raya.

I know. Okay, wait. I randomly got. It's me, Ben. I randomly got hit with this thought. Do I rebrand? I don't even need to get married. But do I rebrand as Esther King?

Is Povitsky holding me back? Do I become Esther King? Wow. It is such a strong name. It's a rebrand. It's not a rebrand. It's called marriage. You're rebranding marriage is what you're doing. Carlos, you've known me the longest. What do you think of it? I think it's a strong name but i'm afraid that we're getting into old-fashioned anti-semitic hollywood names what do you mean like if you're trying to get rid of your more jewish name maybe we're getting into some

old-fashioned hollywood stuff no but it's not even like a that my name is jewish it's like first of all the name est Esther King somehow sounds more Jewish. To me, it's, I don't know. I'm like, just, it came to me. Maybe we do it. Maybe you add a Kong at the end. Fuck you. Esther King Kong.

All right, I'll consider that. I think it's the one syllable last name is very like movie star. You're making me want it jessica beal confirmed she would change it to timberlake but i've never heard now it's not the time because you know justin timberlake is going through um i don't know uh people are turning their backs on him so i don't fully't fully grasp why, yet I understand it, but I don't know why we're doing it. I think he's going straight into tube territory. That's number one.

Number two, people are starting to realize that he might have single-handedly derailed Janet Jackson's career. Oh, yeah. Even though, I mean, you can't single-handedly derail someone's career in that way. But that was a time when a n know, a nip slip could have destroyed somebody. Well, also, there was those old clips of him talking about Britney that I feel like didn't seem good. I don't remember the specifics, but he seemed like a jerk.

Him on Letterman, I think. Yeah. But he was also a dumb boy at that time, right? Totally. Doesn't excuse it, but. He was dumb. And also, like, again, I don't want to defend him because I'm not, like, I'm team Brittany forever. But Devil's Advocate is, like, that is how the culture was.

And, yes, it would have been nice if he would have, like, stepped in and stood up for Brittany. But, dude, I was watching an old elvis interview and they fucking asked him he was at this big like press conference promoting a tour or no his show at madison square garden i've become reinvigorated in my elvis obsession but they asked him what is your thought on the women's movement and feminism and he said i don't really want to comment on like political stuff i'm just an entertainer and it does feel really outdated like it's just crazy to see someone not comment on like women being equals well he's also somebody who said as soon as he saw the birth of his child. He no longer wanted to engage with his partner sexually. He did?

Yeah. Like he was like... What? That's a thing? For Elvis, yes. He has choices. Yeah, yeah. Wait, Carlos, will you look up the Madonna whore complex? Because I'm pretty sure that's what this is.

Yes, it is. Oh, it is. Okay. Yeah. As soon as you see that woman as a mother, you lose sight of the lover. Okay. I don't understand this because isn't it like hot that a woman is the mother of your kid, Carlos P? I mean, I've never – I understand what you're saying.

I mean, I don't think anyone's ever said that in pop culture though. What? Like, oh, giving birth is so hot. Now I'm turned you're saying. I don't think anyone's ever said that in pop culture though. What? Like, oh, giving birth is so hot. Now I'm turned on for life. I think you're thinking of like, oh, I have love for my wife now. I feel like we have a friend that has this disease. No, it happened to me and Bobby. Madonna Horror Complex.

We're the perfect example of this. Why? Because I became mama. And he became BB. I mean, what's the problem? I'm turned'm turned on yeah i'm kind of into it now mama it becomes a problem when you wake up and there's a fucking adult 50 year old man like latched onto your nipples in a non-sexual way carlos yeah i i still understand where he's coming from though just in that moment and i love where he's coming from being into her?

I feel like I understand Bobby being like turned on and thinking you're the caretaker. Being like, mama, love, love. But she's saying that he's not turned on by that. It didn't work. I think that's part of the reason why, amongst several other things. But yeah, I think that me being like

the responsible figure in the house like you know got his dick soft i wasn't this like when we first met i was a little bit more rebellious a little bit more mysterious like he couldn't always get a you know so i when i became this like suzy like homemaker i started being like somebody that he could really rely on. I think his dick got soft for me. That is a common thing. I just, of course, saw TikTok. That was this, it was, I wish I had sent it to one of you guys.

It was this woman who literally laid out every detail of what she does to take care of her man. And it was like, it was like, like petting him to sleep sleep like awakening him with a fresh coffee your dream come true let's let's editorialize later let's just stick to the facts but she was completely caregiving babying him every little step and then and it had so many views and i always look at the comments like what does everyone else think and there's a lot of comments like a submissive woman like this is like that's who gets cheated on and I'm wondering if there's if it's like kind of the same thing that you're talking about it's like when you become when you let someone walk all over you it's like you might think you're doing the right thing but somehow that is just not hot anymore I don't know i think everyone gets cheated on whether you are um the submissive woman whether you are in between whether you're the dominant

it doesn't matter someone there's so many different cracks that can happen in a relationship to justify someone feeling like all right like i like I got to step out on this, you know, relationship. I got to do this. I got to do that. So I don't know. I don't know. I could never see myself being completely submissive.

I am submissive in the sense that like, I like to do like the traditional female roles of like the 1950s. I do like to cook. I do like to cook. I do like to take care of somebody. I do like to make sure that their day is a little bit easier. But I don't. That's so hot.

I don't nod and say like yes to everything they say. I do put my foot down. And I do also ask for my needs to be met. This is so hot. Everything about what you just described, I'm like, take me. It's just too real sometimes. I don't know the joke. Josie from Dance Moms is a perfect example of why you should wear your hair up super tight. In this photo, you can see her hairline change after four years from 2014 all the way to 2018. in 2014 is when she started dancing

competitively and she started wearing a high pony because she tied her hair up every day for dance there was too much stress on her hairline and because of that it caused hair loss by 2018 her hairline was looking like lebron james so this should be a huge reminder to you guys to not wear your hair up super do you believe this i do believe that so you think this is real like it literally don't wear your hair up or it'll make you yeah i don't know if you can see my hairline but it's completely uneven and because i've had to wear a swim cap for most of my life for hours a day and it would pull your hair back so like your hairline seems pretty even but mine is like like pretty like jagged across and um yeah i believe that of course that's tension on your

follicles like every day why wouldn't it start to crawl backwards i wish this was more of a known thing like this is i'm blindsided i'm, how does everyone not know this? And then how does Ariana Grande always have her hair up like that? Like, that's so stupid. I think she fills it in. It's called traction alopecia. Yeah, that's from repeatedly pulling on your hair. But if you wear tight ponytails. Carlos, when you read, you do this voice and it makes me uncomfortable.

Wait, what is it? Tell me. Do you not know? Wait, let's ask Kalilah now. I don't notice. Oh, she's so like being nice. That's not true. So my voice changes when I read?

I don't diss my lovers. Thank you, Kalilah. You like turn into like you think you're teaching like a class. That's insane. That is all projecting. That is all projecting. You're thinking about me too intensely. Carlos, will you read it to us again, please?

It's funny because the assignment I have in this moment is to tell you something from my computer so i am like slightly trying to teach you something that i'm learning one second before okay so that makes you mad so you don't trust no no because i feel like you're reading it for the first time but of course i'm reading about traction alopecia for the first time but like the way you're doing it is like you're're teaching us like you know this and we should know it go ahead try no that's the key word should know i think you're preemptively getting it's like you're becoming insecure in the moment i i promise you i'm not should statements statements are very, very troublesome. Oh really? Yeah, should is like, they always tell you that in therapy.

Oh yeah, like don't should yourself. Should, or anything. I think you got mansplained too much and you're projecting that onto me when I'm so not mansplaining. Oh, I totally agree that you're not mansplaining at all. Carlos, how tight were your buns? Or ponytails?

I did notice my hair going away in uh when i was 18 19 after not in 18 19 when i was 18 from wearing explaining to do from wearing hats and i would take them off and be like i feel like my hair is going away are you you serious? Yeah. So you did this? Yes. Is the hat myth real? Cause I don't believe in it. I also think I was losing it at the same time. Yeah.

But I don't think wearing hats all the time helped me. But 18 year old guys wear hats. Right, they do. I have a thing for, this is very old school. It's the same way that i have a kink for guys in timberlands because in high school yeah that was the hit that's like i when i smell curve right cologne or guys with alcohol breath yes gray sweatpants yeah totally boners through gray sweatpants oh my god i've never seen one but i can show you today um also guys um with their hat backwards um driving with

one hand on the steering wheel that's like a little too like to me i'm like that feels like a kid that's me every day say no more you drive like this like always like a middle that's so no no turning the wheel esther they have, it's not just driving straight forward. It's turning the wheel with their hat backwards with one hand. Not too much effort. Like they just know where to go. Well, that was just the cartoon version. No one drives like this. I do.

I do too. I'm 10 and 2 all day. That, yeah, no, I know what you mean though. Like, okay, but we're, sorry, keep going. That's all I had. Like, okay, but we're, sorry, keep going. That's all I had. Oh, okay. Yeah, I still have a kink for these nostalgic things that I remember liking when I was a teenager. Okay, why alcohol, for me, alcohol breath reminds me, this is, like, so whatever, but being in a frat, being at a frat party and, like, literally thinking the boys were cute and none of them being interested

in me at all but like remembering that they had alcohol breath so it's basically what um what does it remind you of being rejected no it's just it's like oh like that's how hot guys smell or something i like alcohol breath because it in in the same way bobby used to love me in the same way Bobby used to love me in the beginning sexually, when I would go out with my girlfriends, he doesn't drink, he's not an alcoholic. I think it's the same reason you like it. It's like this, I come home a little tipsy, I smell like alcohol. He used to die for it.

Yeah, okay, do you know why? I think it's the, he liked that um you're like a naughty little ho yeah uh-huh exactly and he would ask for blow jobs in the car we would like make out in the car and like we would just do like teenage things he was really into me when i um was um unsteady and a little bit drunk it's almost like she embodies what i cannot be maybe that's what i have maybe because you don't drink no i've never drank i never want to drink i but literally when i smell that on a guy's breath i'm just like kiss me now yeah no i hear you i cigarettes. I hate the way a man smells when he wakes up in the morning if he is a smoker. But if it's a fresh cigarette that he just smoked and he comes to me and he talks to me, I will drop to my knees so fucking fast.

This is so bad. We're admitting to this, but it's so real. Why is it naughty, naughty things? I used to write, not to go back into my poetry but there was this anything but that um i one thing that i used to write or not what you used to write one thing that i wrote years ago says he loved me when i smelled of whiskey and when i defied and I smelled of whiskey he left me the day I baked him cookies and I that is always a feeling like a fear of mine that ultimately became a reality oh my god I love that when I became a safe harbor is when he was no longer like interested in that part of me what the fuck like now I'm literally like i can never marry dave

why because it's like it there's something to this like you have to like stay slightly mysterious and like slutty slightly unreachable yeah your poem how to do that was right but okay speaking of like being into naughty things carlos i always think of you like because you grew up in like a very strict catholic school like all boys do you basically like what i associate catholics i know you had that too catholic upbringing is like they make everything so off limits and so naughty so are there things like that you're super into because of catholic upbringing besides drugs i would say i feel like i was like into like strip clubs and things like that like nasty like like just like stanky girls or something like just like escorts strip clubs things like that i'm just like down with it

i'm not even like i imagine you like are similar to me in a sense like i don't like a big bougie strip club with only like a talent i like the grimy grimy like the strip clubs that i used to go to and frequent they're you know like i think I thought it was the first time I got like robbed and drugged. What? Was in Mexico. Also the first time? You know, when I did ketamine and I was going down the hell hole, I was like, I've been here before. It's like, why is this so familiar?

And I think that's what I was drugged with at a strip club one time. Ketamine? and I think that's what I was drugged with at a strip club one time. Ketamine? I don't know, but it felt almost exactly the same because I remember like going back, I'm like, I gotta go to the hospital, something's wrong with me.

And I was in Mexico. But I think that, and then my friend got robbed. And he was drugged too. But we were at a strip club when this happened. All I'm saying is that the strip clubs that I go to, Carlos would like them. They would like them. We have the same taste maybe.

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little we were animals we had so much fun him and i there's just so much like like big big feelings like all around and so yeah like it was very atypical it wasn't like a you know tilt the head and gaze into each other's eyes there was nothing i would even say romantic about it that's so has anyone had that but i would do this thing esther that you guys are not privy to that i'm okay talking about now which was i would do you know at this time i was like peak into HIIT training and circuit training. I would put circuits up for him. I would be four pumps into my pussy, stand in the corner, do this,

and then go on to the next circuit, and then come back here, and then put your dick in my mouth. It was like a little circuit we used to do. It was like an obstacle race for him. This is the sickest thing I've ever seen. I love it. I'm so, I don't know what to say. Carlos, why do you love it?

I just, I like that it's creative. It is creative. It's like a Japanese game show. It is a choice. Right, open your mouth now, let me spit in it. But each station, each station, there's about eight stations. And each station, there was about eight stations. And each station had a purpose. This station is for, you know, doing what he liked to do, like an air guitar thing, naked.

And he would, like, twirl his dick. Like, air guitar. And he would do, like, a little air guitar. And then he'd move on to the next station. And then he'd go in his back and I would spit right into his mouth. So it was like a, it was just, it was so much fun. move on to the next station and then he'd go in his back and i would spit right into his mouth so it was like a it was just a it was so much fun i that is cool like anything where two people are just being themselves right really i can't judge yeah and and i think that's why it was devastating

when it went away what happened to our circuit training you know i should have just like brought out my whistle and you know like just gotten him back in line you know when i thought it was going away i should have just blown a whistle and be like get back over here no i four push-ups i it's like i don't even know how to comment because i have no idea your guys's situation is so confusing to me like i don't even know well for starters no one believes we're broken up okay there okay so you said it not me like we've had so many guests on tiger belly and everyone's like yeah right so you know you know it's subjective yeah breakups are subjective it's really how you see them are they together are they not who knows and why does it matter why does it matter there's

there's 50 million ways um a breakup can look and this is one of them okay i have a i have a i'm just gonna go you have a hot guy in line for me what do you have a hot guy in line for me no but i have a theory i'm like is this some kind of a sick sexual twisted game you're playing on all of us that like you guys are exes and then like it's gonna be hot to fuck your ex like is this all just to like build up energy yeah which if it is by the way love it yeah i hope secretly that that's what it is but all good either way um i want to leave that as a cliffhanger we don't know we don't know okay you know i'm i'm going to just allow it to move the way it wants to move.

Okay. Yeah. I think that's cool. Sorry, Annie. I have an out in 115. Yeah. I'm just saving our phone. Okay.

So I want to ask you. So Bert and Nikki and a bunch of other comics were talking about when dudes, like, when two people are in front of each other. Esther, explain it. Yeah. okay. I feel like we should show you the clip. It's about first kisses. Let's show her the clip. Do you remember ours, Esther?

I don't know if I get it. Here, let's do headphones again. Cause we haven't actually played the clip and I feel like I'm gonna seem like such a hater, but. I found them alright the awkwardness of like the first move that kind of thing

like just kissing like just making out I've dated girls three four dates not kissed them and then just was like I guess I'm never gonna fucking kiss them I've never in my life I'm so afraid of rejection I've never in my life gone on for an unjoked about at least kiss I'm real big on like the is've never in my life gone on for an unjoked about at least kiss. I'm real big on like, is it stupid that we're not making out?

No, that's good. That's still a move. I always got to make some jokes. If I go in, if I would not survive emotionally a girl doing this, like turning the head, it's never happened in my life. I would always go, I'd be hanging out with someone and then go, he's never going to make a move. And then I would just go, oh, you know what? I wanted to tell you. And they just like casually and be like, we should make out. But I've had guys be like, no, I just don't feel it.

Or like, I have a girlfriend, like where you just are like, oh, I just didn't need to do that. And now I have to like know you and see you at this comedy festival. The rest of the week. I still feel bad about that. Well, she, she, she, Nikki said something there that I personally would never put myself in that position of not knowing whether or not a guy had a girlfriend or not before I even offered to make out. Oh, I would never.

I would never. I would never do that. I would never. Yeah, that is like, how was this a two minute? Have you met him two minutes ago? But how would you know? You just ask. Like, do you just ask, like, are you in a relationship?

That's one of the first questions I ask. That's so embarrassing to lean into a kiss of a boyfriend. You wouldn't want to cover those bases before. Yeah, that base is covered, Esther. I see what you're saying. You would need, you're right, you would know.

I would get the lay of the land before ever even considering making out with somebody because I'd never want to feel that rejection. That's true. And I feel like if a guy is someone that I'm attracted to, my first instinct is going to assume that they have a girlfriend and that she's a lot prettier than me.

And that if I try to kiss him, it's going to be embarrassing. But then you'll get closer to the girlfriend you really want. Stop pretending this guy is a boy. No, but I feel like I've done that before where I've been like, do you want to make out to someone who I actually didn't really want to make out with, but I was feeling low about another guy I was hooking up with? Like, if I make the move, I'm in a dark place already. So it's like, yeah.

And he was like, no, you hooked up with my roommate. He goes, you hooked up with my roommate. I was like, three years ago? I was like, ew, I got dibs'd? Yeah. Why does that? I'm mad at this guy. Who cares if you like that guy?

But I'm so glad he said no. In retrospect, it's like, I'll take that embarrassing hit other than having fucked this guy that I would have to see. But Nikki also was saying, so that means that's a comedian she did that to. Why don't you listen to their set and see if they say they have a girlfriend or not? Well, what Esther and I agreed that we didn't like

is when dudes like are more like passive aggressive like hey why aren't we making out right now like that i don't like that it's like i'd rather a guy be like i want to kiss you rather than be like shouldn't we be making out just try it's like i feel like i give and i'm probably wrong but i do feel like i give like signs that it's okay but but I also probably don't. But I, what do you mean? Well,

it's like, I have had guys like, do you give like cute, like you have to like touch their knee. You have to like, let them know you're into it. Do you know what I mean? Like let them know.

Cause they're so afraid of getting rejected. But also it's like, do I want to date someone that's that afraid of getting rejected? Except Todd was, but you know what? Todd was like scared to kiss. It was like, Todd was over my house like four times. And finally I finally I was like hello like I had to like tell his friends

to tell him to do it because if I tell you if I become the girl like Nikki and Whitney always bring up this book called getting to I do which oh yeah on title alone uh getting to a book I intend on reading no thank you but but the thing in it is all about like who's the masculine who's the feminine like it doesn't always have to be the girl or the boy but one person has to be the girl one person has to be the boy listen i'm not being the fucking boy in this i dated a guy where i was like you're being the girl i'm the girl and he's like i'm the girl like you're not the boy but it's like you know I hate that sort of dynamic. Like I need the guy to make the move or I'm not going to have a good relationship with him. I know.

I totally agree. Like it's so hot. If you're willing to be fucking rejected, you want to kiss me so bad that you're willing to humiliate yourself. I'm like, that's hot. That is hot. As opposed to being like, I wonder if we should be. Then I'm like, do you do you really even want to? Or is this just about like if you think you can or not?

Yeah. But I'm like, I'm okay with them doing the joke, I guess, because at least that's them making the move, even though they're trying to disguise it as a joke. But I had, I'm telling you, I was at a comedy festival with this guy for the entire festival. He was following me around. He was showing up to my shows.

He was so hot. And this is when I had low self-esteem. So I was like, this hot guy is not trying to hook up with me, right? Like I only date fat, disgusting guys. And not that fat's disgusting, but the ones I dated were. And like, so I couldn't tell, but I was like, I'm not making the fucking, why? He was trying to make me make the move. tell but I was like there I'm not making the fucking why he was trying to make me make the move like we were we would stand on like he stood on stairs down the stairs so we were at the exact

same level and he was like so is my last night here and I'm like oh he's like I'm going up to my hotel room and I was like okay oh my god just and he was like so you know and then we never hooked up but it's like why was he that is so weird he followed around he was like there's a sandwich he would text me like when after he'd go to his hotel yeah and he'd be like i'm taking you out for sandwiches like call me when you wake up after you shower all this stuff like i would watch him at the in the bar of the festival looking around for me and stuff and i'm like i'm getting all the signs but why do you need me to lean in Because I've had guys that do that and then they're not into you. They just like the attention of it and want to know that you will hook up with them.

But I'm not. That is the worst case to me. A guy that they just want to know that they can get you is so a red flag. I hate it. It's like, why? Leave us alone. Leave us alone together. Let us be. That is weird is weird wait so what ended up happening

nothing nothing and then like i tried i was like i hit him up to hang out in new york when we got back and he wasn't and he was hot like you were into him but he wouldn't make the first move so it's just like we're not this is not happening yeah that is that yeah it's stalemate because he wasn't like he didn't want to hang out with me when he got back to new york so i knew like oh you're not like you're looking for just a hookup i don't like to just hook up with people i work with that's fucking weird if you want to like pursue me and try to date me like i'll consider that but i'm not gonna just fuck you and then have to see you all the time and you like have rejected you're just a guy who rejected me and i'm at a show with you yeah that's a little uh yeah i would hate that um i has anyone ever

rejected you when you try to kiss them no no never but that's because it's not because i was trying to think like i don't know i think it's because of strategy. I was telling Esther earlier, it's like I read all the signs. Like I don't, I would never put myself in a position to like have to question whether or not he's going to turn away. But I have done this to a guy, a friend of mine who did go in for the kiss. And I did not want to obviously kiss him because I was like, you're a friend. And I did the weirdest thing and I made a situation so much more awkward this is when he came in to kiss me i went i i veered right and i gave him a hug and i i was like no no no no no no oh you babied him yeah and i was like oh no no no you burped him yeah i burped him and it was he was like oh fuck fuck fuck and i was like it's okay it's okay i

was like no but no and it just made it so weird after that like we couldn't really be like normal after that old annie would have just that's why i drank so i could just do like oh fuck you so i don't have to reject you whoops i forgot did i do that you know what i am thinking about time i was rejected not physically but like through words and this person i'll leave their gender up to the audience imagination said that they is that what you're doing with you too with their whole look today this person said um like i sort of like brought something up like whatever it was and then they said i oh i like you too much to put you through dating me oh then they don't know you we know you'd be putting them through something but like that is reminding me of like the word version of like what you did physically. It's like, no, baby.

Yeah, that's still a coddle. I had a guy kiss my shoulder once. What? Okay. Did you just shoulder his mouth? It was. No. Okay.

So we, I had gone on this camp reunion. I did our Shafir show and talked about it. I had a camp counselor I had a crush on my whole life. I know. But mine was not. Okay. Mine as a camp counselor I had a crush on my whole life. I know. But mine was not okay. Mine as a kid was so cool. He played like Dave Matthews band songs on his guitar. He hacky sacked. He was like, awesome. And I like had loved camp so much, you know, like I just like idolized camp. I always thought about camp as being so great. And then, you know, life moved

moved on with my Quaker camp. I was doing comedy in New York. I had just broken up with a boyfriend. I run into one of my other camp counselors, and he recognized me. Like, I didn't think anyone from my camp, like, remembered me. Like, I thought I was, like, a dork at camp. And he was like, oh, my God, Annie Letterman. It's me, Mike. You're, like, camp counselor.

And I was like, oh, my God, Mike. What's going on? He's like, oh, I'm getting married next week. All of the counselors are going to be there. I was like, oh, all of them? He was like, yeah, it's so weird you're doing this. He's like, i'm getting married next week all of the all the counselors are gonna be there i was like oh all of them he's like yeah it's so weird you're doing this he's like i follow you on on facebook this was before instagram was really that big and he was like um me and one of the other counselors were talking about how like you turned out pretty hot and i was like which one and he said the one i had a crush on and i was like oh my god i've like that's like my guy and

he's like well why don't you crash my wedding and like hook up with him so I went like I was so excited I told everyone about him like I'm gonna fuck the shit out of this guy this is a guy I haven't seen since he was 16 I was 14 and he was 16 I for some reason thought he was still gonna be hot even though this counselor like looked like an old man like I was like just thought I don't know what in my head I was like finally like this is it and I go fly back or i take a train back to philly my dad picks me up my dad drops me off at a i'm literally like dad i'm gonna hook up with my counselor shut up wait i swear to god what was your dad saying my dad was like this is you know good for you you're like you're like you know living a childhood you know my dad's cool but so um so he

drives me like and it's like all in the sticks and stuff we're going through the woods to get to this bed and breakfast and stuff were you just really just i was ready i mean i had i didn't even bring a suitcase i brought i didn't know where i was sleeping i had one dress i had another two pairs of underwear like do you know what i mean i was like i was like this is happening you can stop it i didn't know where i was sleeping i had no clue i mean most of my life honestly esther until the show i had no clue where i was sleeping but um so i i'm getting there and it hasn't occurred to me that this could backfire like it's only gonna win like this is the only the only shot is that this is perfect and i live my childhood dreams and everything's amazing

until i get there and as i'm getting out my it's all through the sticks dreams and everything's amazing until I get there and as I'm getting out my it's all through the sticks right and it's getting dark and my dad goes hey I just want to let you know like my night vision's bad like I can't come pick you up like if this doesn't work out you're stuck here and I went why wouldn't it work out I'm like as he's driving I'm like wouldn't work out he's like bye honey I'm like why wouldn't it work out my dad just drove me an hour and a half to go fuck some dude and And he's telling you he can't come get you later. And he's like, just heads up. Well, night blindness is a real thing.

My sister has it. She's just like, pass a certain time. No rides for me. He can, like, highways, he's fine. Like, but it was too rural. It was too, like, he can't handle, like, a fucking animal jumping in front of a car, you know? It's just me. Like, dad, I'm bottomless.

My dress is hiked up he hits me that was the end but so i um i'm like huh and right as he says that i'm like and i have this like sinking dread and i go in and everyone that wedding has already happened because i'm crashing right but everyone knows i'm coming i had written on like the the the counselor page or whatever i found they're like that you were gonna fuck him yes everyone knew i was calling him a kill for counselor i'd like to fuck i didn't and all of his facebook pictures he was covering his face like i'll show you pictures of him after this like it was it was comedic like it was like you couldn't see him it was like blurry so just. Is that the equivalent of upward angle?

Yes. Because I was like, he's so hot. Like, he's so hot. He doesn't even need to like show his face. Never. That's never the case. So I get there and everyone's like, oh, like I'm the second most eventful thing happening at the wedding.

Lucky. I'm like, I like stayed in the limelight. I look cute. And I go outside outside he's just so little his wrists are like your size mary kate olsen like he's like yeah he's the he's the fourth olsen i was like what have i done i mean he may as well have still been in jenko jeans like i was like um so there was just no no chemistry but i am only there to fuck him there's no other thing you don't have it well yeah are you thinking i don't have a choice i have nowhere to sleep

nothing so all i do is i go like i'm like well maybe i can i love how this seems like this is gonna be a story about how i rejected him it's another guy after this i rejected by the way oh i fucked him but um so but i was trying so hard not to and i was like the only angle i have because i don't drink so I couldn't drink him hot or do anything like that. Like, I just had to, I was like, I'm going to just get him really drunk so he passes out. So I kept like being like, drink, drink.

And I'm like talking to everyone else. And, and he, and there was another guy that I, another counselor that I didn't remember, but he was like into sports and stuff. And he was like masculine. And he was talking to me and I was like, okay, this counselor i want right so i was like i'm gonna vibe with him so i can hook up with someone i'm actually attracted to and then he can't deny our chemistry he's gonna have to just go so i'm like vibing with this guy i'm vibing with him vibing with him he's the groom no i before i lean in i find out but so then um we're vibing and everything and then we're all

like kind of like wandering around this guy I'm trying to get drunk he goes I go he takes a pill and I go what are you taking and he goes Adderall I'm like what he's like yeah I just want to be able to stay up and hang out with you and I'm like so he's countering the alcohol with Adderall I'm like are you fucking kidding me and. So he's not going down anytime soon. He walks me on a, like, over a bridge over this lake. And I'm, like, standing there with him, like, oh. And then I'm like, where is the other guy? I'm like, I gotta go find this other guy.

I don't remember the guy's name. And I'm looking for him. I can't find him. He's in the bathroom with this girl that showed up to the wedding in Tevas. He picked the Teva bitch over me, okay? There was a girl in Tevas. I was like, are we at camp? Tevas are back

in fully though they weren't then they weren't then but this girl had like a mustache and listen we all have mustaches it's all good i love that she was actually like comfortable to just grow her mustache out yeah she did deserve the better guy yeah but so he was sucking up with her so i was trapped and then i found out the counselor that i came to fuck didn't have a room he was sleeping on a pull-out couch in someone else's. So I had to like bang him in the living room. Annie! Oh god. I had to bang him in the... I'm dead sober. I'm like... kept the dress on.

And it was a disaster and... but it was fine. You know, you may have started to see these strange tall boys of beer in the bottled water section of your local stores. And you may be thinking, I know three slugs that drink those every night of their lives. Listen to this sound. Is there anything better? There's three new sparkling flavors. We've got mango chainsaw, severed lime over with Kalilah and bury it alive. This one is so good.

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But water. But delicious water in an aluminum can. You guys can get free shipping on all water and merch at liquiddeath.com slash trash. That's liquiddeath.com slash trash. And that is a really big opportunity because you can get it for free shipping and

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Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month and all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5g network that is such a steal to get this new customer offer and your new three month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month go to mint mobile.com slash tuesday that's mint mobile.com slash tuesday cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. So he drives me home. He drives me home he drives me back to the hot guy the hot guy yeah right who i think is hot

because i'm blinded by the fact that i've just made this disgusting i've soiled myself my whole childhood is over my favorite memories of childhood are ruined soiled and so he drives me back and we're and i'm like telling him about like going to montreal Festival. I'm like, yeah, I'm really doing well and stuff. And he's kind of like not saying anything like, oh, my God, he doesn't even like my job. He doesn't respect me. This is so cool. I'm just like building him up into this thing. I'm like, I feel like he was like not that.

I'm like, you know, my my attached anxiety. You know, I was like, oh, well, now I'll get him to like me. I just like I put so much on this guy. I projected so much on him. Like, he's so cool. He's not sure about me yet or whatever. So then I book a show in Philly afterwards. Like, I write him this whole like inside joke thing on Facebook. I'm like, hey, you know, I come back to Philly all the time.

Like, I actually have a show next weekend. And this whole thing. And I think he's like not into me. And he's like, I'm going to have to like woo him. I see him do the dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. Yeah. And then stop. Dot, dot, dot. And then stop. And like, he's like i'm gonna have to like woo him i see him do the dot dot dot dot dot dot yeah and then stop dot dot dot and then stop and like he's like thinking about and then i went oh my god he's been into me the whole time and it like wasn't hot do you know what i mean like he was like trying really hard to impress me with the thing right right he was really really trying

to be careful about what he would yeah he wanted to say So then, so he meets me at this show. What did he end up saying? Yes, I don't want to hang out with you or whatever. So then he meets me at the show and I'm like, oh, he's a dork too. He just was less of a dork than the other guy. Right. Do you know what I mean? Like I had projected all of my, I was like, this will save my childhood memories of camp. So he takes me to his house and it's just like it's i'm like how am

i at this guy's house i'm trying to like get out of it i'm not into him i've already both of these guys i'm always like we're gonna fuck you know so we're like on his balcony and i'm just like you know i'm very stiff i'm looking out in the city i'm like oh wow it's pretty the lights and then i just feel a kiss on my shoulder and i go oh my god i go um oh that might be worse i go that's the worst thing i've ever heard oh my dad's my dad's waiting for me and i gave him one little makeout and i was like god i'm so sorry my dad is waiting up for me i gotta go he's no longer night blind he's here to pick me up he is outside i gotta go and i just dipped and i never talked to any of them again shoulder kiss is just sending from behind down my spine we were looking he was standing next to me and we were looking out he had like this really like sweet spot like this sweet like apartment so we're standing there and

i'm like just looking out at the city and i can feel him here and i'm you know what what just ever so slightly kind of tilt away from like I was just doing everything I could to kind of just give the energy and the vibe that it wasn't gonna happen you mean your neck was cranked like I was like this city's beautiful and so he got my shoulder that was such a long story to tell no that was amazing I'm banana break I have a follow-up question, which is like, was there... I think the thing here is that she, you just built, like, when you're younger and something is a core memory, it's a very big thing in your mind. And you really hang on to those like like i told you the reason why i like dudes with backward hats driving with one hand or turning the steering wheel timberlands whatever right it's like it's just we hang on

to these tiny things and we build it up in our head and with time they don't become smaller memories they become bigger like they're almost like you magnify especially at the possibility that she could finally hook up with this guy it was bigger and bigger and bigger this whole time i was like this whole time i thought i was a loser and nobody knew who i was um but i a shorter version of that story sort of happened to me um when i um had to leave um cebu and we finally were going to immigrate to America, it wasn't me walking to the gate to my

flight and being like, alright, bye. They had to physically drag me through the fucking airport. I was crying. I've seen you do that to Esther before. Partially because I, number one, I was like, I can't leave my animals. I'm'm gonna miss my dogs

you had to leave your dogs yeah i mean what was i supposed to do we didn't have any money i was gonna like you know pay for a carrier we didn't have a place this makes so much sense why you have so many dogs you're trying to replace yeah all the draggy legs i left back home can only imagine the dog that you left there but the second reason was because i was in love with a boy named James. And James, I had a crush on him for a whole year previous to leaving the Philippines. But a week before I left, we finally had a moment to like make out. And he told me he liked me. And it was this whole thing.

And I'm like, oh, I'm only here for six more days. Like, what's going to happen? I'm never coming back to the Philippines. And so I got dragged through the airport crying because i was like james you know i really as soon as i got to the gate i put coins into a payphone i called him and i said you know i'm gonna miss you i'm never gonna forget about you i love you and maybe when we're older you know i'll see you again in love he was like the only um black guy in in my island basically and he and i came i was like are the filipinos named james his name was i don't want to say his full name because but he was you know he his dad

was black his mom was like filipino so super hot i don't want to be weird but hot hot super hot and he was always very quiet and kind of like mysterious. I really liked him. And fast forward a couple years, I'm now four years into my teenage life in America. And on my senior year, I threw a motel party with my best friends. We got it for like $45 a night. We steal a whole bunch of alcohol from Vons. We, everything, like we just walk out with it. We put it all in a tub with ice. And earlier that day, I had a friend say hey do you

know that james is in america now and he lives in the inland empire and i was like what i could not believe it all of a sudden like my whole body like you was like flooded with this is meant to me this is my desk this is my destiny. Like he found me. He didn't just land in Kansas. He's in Los Angeles. This is going to be like a love story. But this is the love story I've been waiting for. Right?

You just fantasize these things in your head. And I get super fucking drunk before he arrives. He confirms that he's coming. He comes about an hour and a half after we start drinking. So I'm a little tipsy already, but no amount of alcohol could prepare me for the fact that not only was I not attracted to him, I was like repulse.

Like I took five steps back when I opened the door, he was like, Hey, it's me. And I was like, my body was like, no, no. And I, it was quite possibly the most disappointing feeling I'd ever had

because you just hang on to that thing. Like, I love James. I love James. But no, like we need shirts that say, I love James. And, but I was still really nice about it and whatnot but it just wasn't it didn't match you weren't as nice as me i didn't fuck him should i have fucked him no he came all this way no no no no i did not learn that lesson until very recently where you're like oh you can just say like no and choose yourself over someone else and it's not even that he was ugly he was like he was still good same with my people

they were all cool still it's just they were not my not what you had in mind no he was not the boy that i had like just i was like transfixed over like i was i i had an image in my mind of who he was and he had grown up and he was someone completely different. And I was like, stranger danger. I don't know you. You're not James. Have you ever gone on an internet date? What's an internet date?

Oh, wait, you did with Bobby, right? Yeah, Tinder. My first and only. I went on two. Oh, really? Yeah. Interesting. Because I've only gone on two as well.

Or yeah, two internet dates I've done. So even though you said one, I know I said as well. I know math said as well I know I know math a little bit but so um I there was a guy I met on Bumble and I in my head when I saw his picture I attached like a like he was he said he was a music producer so I thought he liked it hip-hop and stuff I was like I was seeing him in a flat brim hat like I was seeing him like he was gonna be this dude or whatever and so we like you know talked I never heard his voice or anything we like we're talking I was like oh I'm so into this guy I'd like just broken my boyfriend like I can't wait to fuck you like I just went all in I didn't

know how like I forgot that like when you meet people there's no vibe you don't smell right right or whatever I was going off this picture and I was attaching like so much of like what I was looking for onto this guy. And so I created this guy in my head, this character of a person. And then when I met him, it was another like, hey girl. Where I'm like, why are you even looking for girls on Bumble? Like you just. Why are your wrists so loose? It's like this is, you're not hot.

Like this is not like you're not for me. And he was, he was a classical music producer. I went to his apartment. He had his bike hanging on the wall and he may as well have been wearing his helmet. He had dry cashews. It was like, I was just looking at him. It was like just dry, like bulk cashews sitting there. It was just like, he was a fucking loser. I was i was like oh so i let him eat me out yes and then you always

have to that's like honestly that i would have done with james if it was just i in no i know no now i wouldn't do it girls listen at the most let them eat you out. Yes. But I feel like I feel like now I'm like, I've learned how to say no. And that was like such low self-worth to be like. I have to now appease this random person I met on a and his penis was not that that matters. His penis was so small. He like pulled his dick out and I was like, I'm not going to fuck you. Just heads up. I don't know you or whatever.

And he was like, oh, and he thought it was because his dick was small. I'm like, no, no, no. Your life is a small dick, sir. I don't know what to say. Like, but I was trying. I don't want to be me. It's not his fault that I. But then so now I'm in a situation where I have to mourn the loss.

Like I was so sad afterwards because this character I'd created doesn't exist. I'd have like a funeral for like. The hot guy that you created. of like a funeral for like the hot guy that you hated yes and i was getting eaten out at his funeral by a guy with the cashews with a cashew i definitely i feel like when i was in i can't middle school or high school had an experience where like you talk to a guy on the phone and their voice it's like you're super into that and then the in-person reveal is like how is this yes how is this the same and it's because you and your head make it up yeah how you want it to be also there have been guys where i was like not really into them but like things were happening and i was like

okay you can go down on me like yeah yeah but i think that's very like i can for me that's the offer still stands everybody in the room everybody everyone with a vagina i like those like safe transactional sort of like sexual things yeah it's like look it's not fully there we both know it's not fully there but let's might as well while we're here you don't feel gross you know i had no no no because i had a friend while we're here is such a funny i disagree because i had one like that where it was the transaction was so gross like it felt like my okay it felt like my parents when they were when i was a kid they ordered the better sex videos from the back of playboy do you know what i'm talking about no they had ads for it in the back of Playboy. Do you know what I'm talking about? No. They had ads for it in the back of, yeah, look it up, Carlos. And it was like old regular people teaching you,

cunnilingus is this. It was like a how-to sex tape, which actually I would love to watch now. I'm so curious. Yeah, I'd love to watch that. But maybe we should watch it at home and then report back. Yeah. But it reminded me, it is like I'm trying to teach.

I don't know, it just felt like that. But I, OK, so a friend of mine for my Quaker youth retreats um look at this I mean they actually look better looking than I remember them looking they looked like old it was like a lot of short haired women this is making me feel bad for those that came before us because they just did not have good resources the way we have now just double penetration yeah isn't it a thing though that we we have all these resources but people are still pretty horrible it's but sometimes it's that fucks you because have you ever fucked someone that's like their moves are so like movie that you're like ew like yeah you like practice this like what what you just said it's like when someone

feels like they learned it it's a little well there's no connect you're not like with them they're like doing a thing and you're like but so okay so my friend from quaker youth retreats he um i met him like right after i got my nipples pierced but um i had like sort of been friends with him for 20 years kind of like i hadn't we were friends when we were teenagers. I used to go visit him. We'd go like snowmobiling and spelunking and shit in the woods in Pennsylvania and stuff. But like I hadn't talked to him in my adult life really.

And he hit me up and was like in town or like invited me to go hang out with him in Vermont. And I went to go hang out with him. And it's not that he wasn't attractive or anything, but it just was like we're friends, you know. And we're hanging out and he was like started hang out with him in Vermont and I went to go hang out with him and it's not that he wasn't attractive or anything but it just was like we're friends you know and we're hanging out and he was like started making out with me and I was staying at his house so I kind of understand that with his parents and stuff and we were in the snow and stuff so it was kind of fun vacation and he's like should we fuck and this is when I was starting to like get my own agency and I was like you know what I'm not going gonna just fuck everyone that asks to be nice to them you know like I actually want to have some self-respect so I was like I don't know if we

should do it you know like I don't I think it'll like ruin our friendship and he's like come on he's like I haven't talked to you in 20 years like what are we gonna ruin he pretty much said that so then we fucked but it was so like it wasn't like bad sex but it was just like using someone else to come it felt weird oh that's a good way of putting it yes you know like it wasn't like bad sex but it was just like using someone else to come it felt weird oh that's a good way of putting it yes you know like it's like i could rub my pussy on a chair why not just like jerk off at home yeah it was weird and then and then it continued on like we went it just was like so weird and then i never wanted to talk to him again because i grossed myself out doing that right and he was like writing me love letters and stuff and i was like i told you this was gonna happen because i told him i was like there's a chance i'm gonna hate you after this yeah and i hate him

and he still tries to hit me up every once in a while well i had a love uh story with a cockroach exterminator that's similar that's your dream guy it's my dream guy are you kidding me he's doing the lord's work for you literally he was like um i was like well what college did you go to ucla i was like okay i was like what do you do for a living he's like oh i'm a cockroach exterminator what like as soon as like can you have that job when you're in college that's the weirdest like college job yeah but he was very attractive I met him at Mountain Bar in downtown LA when Mountain Bar was still a thing and then um I found him super attractive I was like this guy is so fucking hot he's tall this and that but then when we went on our first date we made out and nothing i felt

nothing not not a tingle in my body not a single sensation overcame me and but i was honest with him and before we left i was like hey i was like i think you're a great guy and honestly like dream job like but like i don't think there's any chemistry between us but like can we stay friends and he was like oh there wasn't he's like there was a lot for me and over the years did he have a tattoo of your name but he was just such a dope guy like over the years we stayed friends but every year and a half or so i would be like god he is so hot why don't i feel anything for him so i'd be like hey um you want to try again and we would every year and a half we would try again and then finally the last time he was like kalilah like

like why don't you just see how like i fuck oh right now that's hot yeah i just literally i'm soaking up here and so that's so hot and so he was like all right i'll be right over i was living long beach at this time i was like yeah okay i was be right over i was living i'll be right over long beach at this time i was like yeah okay i was like we're friends like you know we trust each other how happy would you be if kalaya said i'll be right over i would be the one to say that i think we know you already are there sitting outside of her house idle so this was the fifth time in a span of five years and we were just like all right so um he comes over and we make out on the couch and i pull back and i'm like it's just not there dude i'm so sorry like i cannot like keep going

i was like i just don't think we can get there and he was like fuck kalilah jesus christ he's like this is you can't keep going like this i'm like yeah you're right every time i i had a breakup he wouldn't be the person I want to try with again. And it just wasn't there. But I love this person. Like, I think he's a great guy. He has an amazing partner now. But I always look at that as like,

you cannot force what isn't there. You simply cannot. I can't believe the story doesn't end with us learning how he fucks. I am so mad right now. I'm so proud of you. And I wish I had learned that. And I feel like I want people to learn from my mistakes and do not like but if you do fuck someone to be nice to them it's okay

you could live through it but I always was just like I just like I just didn't like hurting people's feelings like that yeah and but you have to do that because it's like otherwise you're hurting your own feelings I mean I like what if that was the guy that gave me herpes or something I fucked him because I was like didn't want to you was the guy that gave me herpes or something? I fucked him because I was like, didn't want to, you know, and he's here with herpes fucking me, you know?

Not that herpes is okay. I just don't have it yet. We're pro herpes as well. We're pro herpes. As long as there's consent with, you know, transmission that, hey, I have herpes.

Can we fuck? And then, you know, the whole deal. Exactly. We're okay with the herpes. Yeah. I want to end this episode with um um this game it's not really a game but i want to know what the last song you played on your

playlist was and i want you to read the lyrics to me and i want to maybe um get into why that song was played why you like that song and your state of mind today. Are you sure? Yeah. I want to know. I hope to God, Esther pulls up Judas priest. That's Mike.

I hope it's something completely unexpected. Mine is never going to be unexpected when it comes to music. Of course, it's Lana Del Rey, the song ride. Can we pull up the lyrics? here here he goes annie pick a stanza oh we're gonna make a read um i hear the birds on the summer breeze oh you're embarrassing i drive fast i am alone at midnight this is one Esther. This is one of my favorite songs. Been trying hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind.

That is one of my favorite lyrics. So I just ride, just ride. I just ride, I just ride. I love this song so much. I love Lana. It wasn't Judas Priest like I had hoped. No. We'll take Lana.

But I love like, when I don't know what I'm in the mood to listen to, it means you put on Lana. Like it's soft, it's soothing, but it's dramatic. And like it just covers all the bases. It does, yeah. Especially I was in Vegas. Like it has a very, yeah. How good is Wise Guys?

Isn't that such a good club? It was so much fun. The staff isn't that such a good it was so much fun the staff's the best yeah it was so i like the purple lighting did you get video i don't think i did i don't know i don't think next time because it looks cute with the purple background the last song that all right you gotta go because i gotta fake this one because this other one's gonna make me seem crazy oh okay all right i'll do another one in case we want to this last song that was playing that was blaring in my car when i got here was um i'll never love this way again by dion warwick i love dion warwick you'll never get to heaven if

you break my heart that's a different song but um and the lyrics are really um oh this is very dark oh no i know i'll never love this way again so i keep holding on before the good is gone i know i'll never love this way again hold on hold on hold on a fool will lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday reaching back for back for Bobby's cock? Like, what is this? Is this about Bobby? A fool will lose tomorrow. Or is this about James? James.

Maybe this is about James and not Bobby. Carlos, what's on your head? Oh, just a star face. It's for zits. Pimple sticker. Is that better than the zit? That's better than the zit? Are you fucking kidding me?

I do take it off when I go downstairs to Erewhon to pick up food. Oh, because you respect Erewhon more than us. That's what that means. Well, I mean, it's not a respect thing. It's more like I feel like I can be myself around y'all. That's shocking. You do? Yes.

Then now's the time. Tell us. Annie, it's your stop. All right. I'll give you the one I was listening to. You do? Yes. Then now's the time. Tell us. Annie, it's your song. All right. I'll give you the one I was listening to. Oh, my gosh. J-Rock win. J-Rock win.

Okay. Pick a, let's pick one. Win, win, win, win. Yeah. Stop chasing that bitch. I was thinking about our show, bitches. Get the fuck out of the way. On 10, 10, 10, 10 10 i don't want you to have to read this bring friend friend friend friends there's something there's parts of it you can't really

say you might want to keep score i win win win win squat arm tattoos squat squat squat all right yes third album coming soon hey i ain't chasing after no bitch isn't it good i got bigger plans than staying rich wow that is a good i love this i mean blasting it i've never heard is it like hard rock no don't play it quick? And we can just take it out? Yeah. What is like the... It's so good. I like this. Part CLS for baby mama. Mercedes.

Oh my God. He gets the Mercedes reference, so he likes it. Wait, what is the one song you have to listen to before, like, you know, you either have a big meeting or something like your hype song? Katy Perry, Roar. No, honestly, I agree. That's a really, really important one for me. Important.

It's important. Also, I'll throw on a Rascal Flatts, Life is a Highway. Oh, I love Rascal Flatts. What about you? Do you have one? Stormzy, Audacity is like my number one hype song. If I need to get into like, I got this, I got this. Did you listen to it on the

way in today no i listened to dionne warwick i was like freaking you know i'll never love this way again also jail off of donda the connie song jail is so good well i don't know if i've told you guys this before this is like an embarrassing thing i used to do when i was in like when i was trying to build my confidence i was like a drunk scooter driver and when i was like to build my confidence as a drunk scooter driver. When I was in Santa Fe, just like this chubby Jaeger and Jizz filled waitress driving around on my motor scooter all drunk in Santa Fe. The song Alicia Keys, No One. But I would make the lyrics about me,

like where it was like me to myself. Instead of like no one will get in the way of what I'm feeling for myself. Yes, I like that. Instead of like, no one will get in the way of what, like what I'm feeling for myself. Yes. I like that. When I first got broken up with, I chose, I would listen to the song Lovely Day by Bill Withers.

And I made it about me, like just one look at you in the mirror. It's like, that's me. Also, I've been listening to a lot of Dolly Parton. Like her, I'll Always Love You is like so.

The best. The very best best it's the most loving you know that was about when her and her um her writing partner broke up she she wrote that song for him and she sang it to him and they were able to like move forward I listened to a whole book on each of Dolly Parton's songs and like what about her life inspired her to write them it's so cool holy shit no one is better than dolly it was so beautiful and and she sung that to him and she said that he like just cried and like understood her point of view and stuff her song coat of many colors gets me in just i'm a puddle of tears i'm

trying to remember what that one was about breast implants since we like dolly well maybe can we make her get breast implants again for us i've been doing a joke about breast implants since we like Dolly? Well, maybe. Can we make her get breast implants again for us? I've been doing a joke about breast implants. I don't want to say it on here, but bring your fake titties to the show. Well, you guys, thank you so much for being sluggies. And we'll see you next week. Is that it? Yeah, I think so.

Bye, guys. Thank you.