Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Nadya from P*ssy Riot aka Russia’s Most Wanted Podcast Guest - Ep 146

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors:  Microdose - To learn more about microdosing THC go to microdose.com and use code: TRASHTUESDAY to get free shipping & 30% off your first order. For you! For a friend! Trash Tuesday Merch!! Get it at https://itstrashtuesday.com/   See Esther on tour. Check out dates at estheronice.com See Annie on tour. Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows More Nadia Tolokonnikova:   Onlyfans - https://onlyfans.com/pussyriot Twitter - https://twitter.com/nadyariot Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nadyariot Pussy Riot “Sexist” - youtube.com/watch?v=_fj0a77sKUM&ab_channel=PussyRiot 00:00 - Psych! I Was Hot the Whole Time!! 02:00 - Coming Around on Pussy Size 03:20 - Nadya Pussy Riot 09:45 - Prison Food: the Hot Girl Diet 12:20 - Annie’s School Strategy: Charm and Vim & Vigor 14:34 - I Don’t Have a Vagina 16:25 - Parenting Judging 19:20 - I Don’t Look Like the Girls in the Nudie Mags 21:40 - No We Bonded Over Shitting Blood, Esther 22:45 - Growing Up with Self-Doubt 26:45 - Existing Under the Heel 31:30 - Low-Key Kink for Domination/In Service to the Divine 37:40 - Being OK with Not Knowing 39:00 - More Sides of Nadya on Onlyfans 42:00 - You Don’t Have a Penis 47:12 - I Was a Very Horny Teenager 49:05 - Who Came Up with the Pussy Hats? 53:00 - How Did Becoming a Mother Change You? 56:50 - Nadya’s Self Care Routine 59:00 - Chaturbate: Khalyla Lets the Tokens Fly! 63:00 - It’s So Cool To Be Mean 64:30 - Thoughts on Dying 69:35 - The Best Dismount of Any Episode   Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392   Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  🍬  https://www.candyedits.com     Produced by: Real Good Touring & Ten42 Podcast Producer(s): Stella Young & Julien Bensimhon   This Video Contains Paid Advertising.

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details how wild was it that you were so your persona was faces covered how excited were people when you revealed your hot face they're probably expecting some uggo feminists you're like psych i was hot the whole time i mean that must be an extra like shot to the gut, right? Like, oh, I really want to f*** her. F*** her. They're all pretty good. Explore the benefits of microdosing THC at microdose.com and use code TRASHTUESDAY to get free shipping and 30% off your first order.

Again, that's microdose.com. Code TRASHTUESDAY. Remember, it's microdose.com. And don't forget to apply code TRASHTUESDAY for your 30% off discount. Hi, slugs. I'm so excited to announce new shows. I added the final dates of this tour. Obviously, January 7th, rescheduled San Jose. And then January 18th, I will be in Portland and January 26th in Seattle. I'm so excited. My favorite cities. Please come hang out and I'll see you. Get tickets at estherandice.com.

Hi, sluggies. I am on the road. You can see my next Annie Wooden Friends show at the Comedy Store December 21st. We got, you may know, I'm friend of the show,

Bobby Lee on it. We have a lot more too. I'm going to be in Texas. I'm so excited. Come see me in Houston December 15th through 17th. I'm going to be at the comic strip in Edmonton January 12th and 13th. I'll also be in Jacksonville, Florida

in January. I'll be in Denver, Colorado in February and Vancouver. I'll also be in D.C. in March. So go to Annie Letterman.com slash shows. You guys can edit around that, right? Just send Julian over to grab paper towels for my armpits. And maybe your...

My upper lip is good today, Annie. Your what? My upper lip is good today. I wasn't talking about your upper lip. Are you talking about my pussy writing? That's included. This could be part of the show. Yeah, why is this not included?

Julian... That is included. A strong man bringing a woman some... Wait, can I just say that I've completely changed my opinion on pussy size wanting it small is the wrong move well is yours engorged at this point no nothing has changed but I just the videos I watch about giving birth I'm like the bigger it is the better you are and it's like a hat for the baby to come out it's just crazy that it's warm it's crazy that for

years we're all like oh we want it to be small like you want short and wide yes yes you have a daughter right correct yeah are we what I gave birth in um I gave birth in um 30 minutes no no it was before 30 minutes on your first no Nadia I was like, I thought you were going to say Pussy Riot. No. Nadia, you are an activist. You are a part of a punk rock art collective called Pussy Riot. That you started. When you were 22. I was, yeah, I think 21, yeah. Okay.

Around the time. My bad. Oh, my God. No, no, no. At 22, I already got imprisoned. So it was... It was the fast track. You have babies fast, you get arrested fast.

I like that. You've been arrested multiple times. You spent two years in a Russian prison. You are part of the most wanted list in... Most wanted criminal in Russia. That's right. Hell yeah. Yeah.

And you do amazing things, everyone. Nadia, pussy riot. Thank you so much for having me Delilah pulled it together I'm um I think you're incredible I think everything you do is um everything I've always maybe deep down wanted to do but never had the courage. I always feel very like oppressed by perception. I always feel very afraid of what people might think of me or the repercussions and so you are absolute goals for me. You're my hair and makeup goals if that means anything after that. Like for sure exact hair and makeup goals. Esther's also going to be, like, wearing her outfit next week, trying to play it off.

I should have that. I'm going to tell you what it means after 10 minutes will pass, because we cannot say this word just yet. Wow. I was watching a 60 Minutes piece about you, and they kept going, but they're using such foul language it's like I know so funny why are you worried about the language and like they anytime anyone ever says anything about what you say it's like they always use the word offensive and it's like really like

how thin skin like how thin skin is Putin like how thin skin areinned is Putin? Like how thin-skinned are these people? That even just girls moving around, doing their thing, just really, really like penetrates, like really gets them going. Well, my theory is Putin wants Russia to appear very homogenous. So currently his biggest wish, I think, you know, image-wise for Russia to appear homogenous as everyone supports the war in Ukraine and everyone supports Putin. So sometimes they fake elections to the point that they claim that 141% voted for Putin.

That's the ultimate goal. What an absurd. This is the reason why even if one person steps out of the line, it doesn't really matter what actual physical power we have. Or if, you know, one person steps out of line and it becomes known somehow, and it's easier these days. You have YouTube, Instagram. Well, Instagram only's easier these days you have youtube instagram um well

instagram only through vpn these days in russia but still you have you have ways how to make your position known so people like us regular people have still incredible power and that's why it really irritates them so much and you know we spent two years in jail but these days it's um 25 years a person i know vladimir karamurza his fault was only to say that he disagrees with vladimir putin's politics and he is against the war in ukraine and he went he was poisoned several times he survived and he went to jail for 25 years and he he was brave enough to come back to Russia even knowing that he might face this charges but he said well I haven't done anything wrong I just said what I

what I thought was right and he's hopefully's not going to have to serve this time because I would hope that Putin is not going to last forever. Even though these days we have some longevity methods and the guy is only 70-something years old. So I used to be very optimistic. These days I feel like… Stem cells, baby. Stem cells are keeping

them in their cells and now there's this new medication that can increase the lifespan of dogs did you see that article wait I saw

only the headline how real is it because I don't want to get too hope-sucking well I follow this allergist who I really trust

on TikTok well I would love to follow an allergist oh my god he's the best. I'll send you the link, but he talked about it. So I was like, I feel like he's a reliable source. Nadia, I come from a country. Cheers. You're Red Bull, Annie. I'm so excited we have the same drink. I come from a country where like the people that voted our last leader in, there are some that

believe he was the guy who discovered Michael Jordan. And this was part of the propaganda machine that basically got him elected. Like they were like, oh, you know about this, Annie? Yeah, you've told us. I told you, I told you. Oh, I don't even remember. Sorry. No, Annie wasn't there for this. But basically, the story about our now, our sitting president in the Philippines is that he was in north carolina and then he saw a black kid begging on the street and because this is his origin story and then he helped the kid like like i don't know i don't know if he bathed

bathed him gave him clothes gave him money, and basically helped him out of the streets. And they say that kid grew up to be Michael Jordan. And people ran with this. They genuinely believed because Michael Jordan was the freaking idol of the Philippines, right? And so they were like, this story is going to land with Filipinos. And it did. What a strangely specific but weirdly perfect lie. like it's so googleable yeah but i mean people aren't looking for they don't want to know the truth people aren't looking for the truth

they're they're looking for things that confirm the biases in their mind and then they're like if this is what he could do there what can you know look at the Bible. Oh, I know. If people were looking for truth, that book would not hold, really, for thousands of years. It's so fantastical. I know. And just the bold face, like, just lying about such ridiculous things. And then people just eat. It's like the wild part is just the people believing it. It's like, lie, go ahead. But the fact that people are pulling them off is the place that's so crazy. Yeah. How long do you think a show like ours would have lasted in Russia? Well, if I were to appear in your studio, I think we all would be in detention center by now.

Okay, so that scares me a little bit. But you also are a little jealous of people that go to prison. You're our second prisoner that we've had. Not. Who's the first one? Amanda Knox. Amanda Knox who was in an Italian prison. I mean, think of the pasta. Esther was like, was the food good?

Which we won't be getting to those questions. But I'm not a big Russian cuisine girl. I am part Russian and I don't like the food. I don't like any food of my own heritage. I don't eat a lot of Russian food. Well, I'm vegan for a year or so oh yeah you know you can maybe drink vodka and eat pickles yeah now when you're in prison

yeah that is vodka and pickles now does russian prison hold up your vegan diet for you no i've been vegan just for a year oh okay and so you know when i when i was in jail oh i mean the food was um not ideal not ideal um especially when i ended up in penal colony because like there is a difference between jail and prison um jail pre-trial detention then prison when where you serve your time so in russia it would be jail and penal colony, like very gulag type. Oh, shit. It's barracks, 100 people living under the same roof and sharing three toilets. Do they put you to work?

They actually make you... You have to work. What was your... I was sewing police uniforms. Oh, okay. Yeah. Did you know how to sew before that? Did you put a couple pins in there, leave them in?

Just notes, yeah. Notes. Oh, okay. Did you know how to sew before that? Did you put a couple pins in there, leave them in? Just notes, yeah. Notes. Oh, good. But, yeah, I didn't learn how to tailor, so I didn't really know how to create a costume if I wanted, which is a big bummer because I spent two years in jail learning how to sew. But because it's this Fordist approach to, you know, like one person makes

just one little detail so that's all i know how to attach um pockets to cop pants that's my growing up did you guys have to learn how to sew no no because it was part of our requirement we called it healy we had hle where we had to learn the different. We had the running stitch, cross stitch. I'm sure they tried to teach me. In second grade. They tried to teach me to read too. I actually, I embroidered into a pair of sweatpants sleeve for you on the butt.

Because when the Britney song came out, so. You may have been in prison at that moment when Esther was sewing her the ass on her pants. Wait, so you embroidered. Was it a gift or did you buy it yourself? No, it was like home ec. We had like they gave you like your own moment. Yeah, we all made stuff in home ec.

Yeah, they made us just we had pillows. We could pick them like you could make like an ice cream cone or a gumball machine. I made the gumball machine. But I like to my approach was very punk rock to school. Yeah. I made the gumball machine. But I liked it. My approach was very punk rock to school. Yeah. I said, you're not going to teach me shit. I'll learn nothing.

You showed them. Didn't I show them? Just barely scraping by with very minimal knowledge. How did you make it? How did I make it? Just on charm and vim and vigor. I just had the heart for it. I just said, don't kill me let me live

i think it's a better approach yeah i was a nerd i was an overachiever but it's not it's not really we both end up in trouble with the law so yeah but yeah like now now i have a daughter and i actually like when she doesn't treat school that seriously i hope that her teachers does not do not watch this but i think it teaches you how to be a people pleaser if you treat school too seriously and i know some people for for who it was great i guess but for the most part you know i had to really train myself and relearn that's where performance art really came in very handy but I think you know like all the like I probably would be much more balanced person if I were just a little bit more laid back when when I was in school yeah when you um did you notice a

difference between like your thoughts and your ideas um before you had a kid and um after did it change you in any way like how you um went about your art how you went about like your activism like were you worried at all for like you know now that you had this like life that you like care for it did change it made me much stronger as a feminist and I guess stronger as a person too um before having a kid I um I spoke with um random person I met when I was traveling by hitchhiking I was quite adventurous but that's what I'm saying like I would be much more balanced if I were laid back in school I wouldn't have to do like all this crazy stuff later. To kind of under, yeah. To just, I mean, to balance, I guess.

So I went on a hitchhike when I was 17, a hitchhiking trip around Spain. And it was just me and like guys were trying to fuck me, but I was just like, what? I don't have a vagina. Don't talk to me like this. That's so weird. What are you doing?

Wait, I love that. I don't have a vagina is what I'll be saying from here on out. That's all I know how to say in Spanish, by the way. I say, no tengo una panocha. I say, no tengo panocha, solamente la verga. Mira, mira. And I show my side pipe. I go, chupame la verga, chupame la verga.

I love this one. I go, mira, mira. I was dating a guy from Argentina, so I know the phrase a little bit. Does your daughter think that you're this badass, like, feminist lady? No. Or is she just like, you're my mom? Yeah, we don't have that thing, like, embarrassment. I think it's just the difference between generations is not as big.

Like, we're literally just one generation apart, but we're very, very close to each other. I gave birth when I was 18. So, you know, like, we listen to the same music we're the same stuff we have the same wardrobe oh my god i'm doing this all wrong you're younger than me i don't want to hear it it's you're not allowed to have these feelings you know i will say this though stella to your um to your question i grew up with women who were always very vocal about sex because like in the philippines like you know sex talk is very taboo like outwardly in public very taboo but amongst each other we're like the horniest yeah like gaggle of bitches like everything is about your nipples and your lips and everything

right so i grew up with my aunties and my mom, like comparing nipples in front of me, talking about their lovers. And I was never embarrassed. Always. I felt so educated about like certain things and freer maybe about my body much. I think it's only advantageous when like you have women in your family kind of express themselves sexually especially if it's in a positive way yeah you know like okay so my sister's parenting style which is I reserve the right to judge hers and that's the only one I'll ever judge I know no no other parenting judging is allowed like, she's so open with her kids.

Like, there's no adult conversations. There's no, like, they're included in everything. And for a while, I was like, this is crazy. But now I'm like, wait, I think that's exactly how I was raised. And then I saw Gwyneth Paltrow talking about how she, like, gave her kids more responsibility, like, earlier than they were probably ready. And probably ready and I think now I've switched I'm like on my sister's side I don't know is that like are you protective of her or do you include her in kind of everything that's going on since you guys are so close in age I include her um but I think more people than we think do the same thing. So I just learned recently that Mike Johnson, I think that was him, right? Isn't he the guy who has porn application?

Like, you know, whenever you use porn, somebody else in your family gets a notification about your porn use. Oh, shit. And so that guy shared it with his son, who's 17. Yeah. And so those people claim to be conservative, right? So I'm saying that actually people on the different side of the political and ethical spectrum, they do that as well. And I think that's like way too much.

That's so intrusive. ethical spectrum they do that as well and i think that's like way too much that's because i wouldn't because i wouldn't want my daughter to know about my porn use personally oh my god i think it's over i mean like it's it's exactly what you said i guess it's just like putting way too much pressure on just a young mind because like she doesn't have to think about my porn use and if i i have to be in control if i don't want to use porn I have to be in control, if I don't want to use porn, I have to be in control of my own impulses and emotions and don't put my kid as my guardian. Well, okay, so two things that that just reminded me. So my dad, when we were growing up, he got my brothers,

because my brothers were buying, it was when there were just magazines and stuff, and there were videos, but there wasn't, we didn't, the internet wasn't really around. So my brothers were buying like, like dirty magazines from the kids in the neighborhood. They're like burying them in the, they would go pick them up at the park and stuff. But it's like, they're like sticky, pre-used and they're probably, I think they were like, I think they were like more spread ones. You know, they were like a little more graphic. more spread ones. You know, they were like a little more graphic.

So my dad, when he found out about that, he got a Playboy subscription and then they just had them in my dad's office and they could go get them. And I would go get them and look at them

and be like, that's not what I look like. That's okay. I don't think I'm on my way to that. But okay. My mom doesn't look like that either. When was the first,

how old were you when you were like, I don't like, look like the girls in the magazine? It was pretty when you were like, I don't like look like the girls in the magazine? It was pretty early on. Well, I was always stuffing. My mom had really small boobs because she had a, she had a tumor in her pituitary gland. She had a pituitary adenoma. So my mom always talked about like, she didn't get her period until she was like 30. Like she was not. So when she had small boobs, I thought like, oh, that's because of her. She's

just got a thing. So I would like put socks in my training bra. I'd be like, I'm going to have these big ass boobs. I can't wait. And then they never came in. And I was like, oh. And so I realized probably around 16, like they weren't going to blossom. And we'd had those nudie bags for a long time. So I mean, it was just, but I also didn't know about really fake boobs or anything either. I didn't know what was real. I was the opposite of you because my mom was flat chested. And so I was, I would pray for boobs. I was like, I'm never going to get them. And then it kind of happened.

And then they, boop. You know, for me, it was a very, like, it was a gamble, right? Because I'm half Filipino, half white. And I would always be like, well, what direction will my pussy go? Like, will it go Filipino? Will it go white? Will it go sideways? Are we making a sideways Asian vagina joke? And it went the Filipino route. Like I have a, I'm proud of the fact that I have a brown pussy. Right. And I need to be Filipino for that. I mean, no, but I mean,

like it, that is a good point. That is a good point. But like, I looked at, you know, I grew up with a nakey mom. My mom was always like naked around us.. But like I looked at, you know, I grew up with a naky mom. My mom was always like naked around us, right? And I was like, oh, my pussy looks like hers. And I was like, oh, that's the route it went. But, you know, it's when you're a half kid, half of something, you always do wonder like what traits, what genetic expression. What if you just had one lip that was Asian and one lip that was white? Honestly, I think that's what it is.

You could have a big OnlyFans career if so. That seems valuable. Has the rise of amateur porn, like homemade porn, OnlyFans benefited or kind of ruined your – how has it affected your self-esteem? Oh, it's helped a ton. A ton. Now I see girls with hemorrhoids and like everything and i'm like oh normal bodies no but you look like everyone i mean look like you're pregnant like that's a risk it's gonna be really helpful for you soon i don't understand this like because i'm the most. I'm very constipated my whole life.

But you guys are the ones with hemorrhoids. I don't have hemorrhoids. Oh, I thought you guys bonded over that. I'll be the one. Okay. I'll be the hemorrhoid girl. No, we used to shit. Hand me the hemorrhoid over here.

I'm actually dressed as a hemorrhoid, not as Barbara Walters. No, we bonded over shitting blood, Esther. We used to both have. We became friends because I saw on an episode of her other podcast that when your poop is like black, it means there's like blood in your intestines. And so I was going through some struggles. I was enjoying a little ketamine too much. And I gave myself a nice little ulcer. Yeah.

And that's when I learned. Right. But no hemorrhoids. But as Annie, what are you... Can you tell us about external hemorrhoids? I had a, I had a, what? She's already been in prison twice. Wait, I actually have, I have a weird question that's like. Not about the shape of my hemorrhoids?

No, actually it is. that's like not about the shape of my hemorrhoids no actually it is no like because we're just talking about what we saw and how it didn't make us feel good about ourselves I have like very specifically grew up with a lot of severe self-hatred because I had dark hair and pale skin which today I'm like that's so crazy but like growing up I was like I'm not blonde I'm not tan I'm ugly that's obvious and you are so beautiful and have dark hair and pale skin did you have any of that that I had or no thank you um no not really um no um I i did not think much about my appearance because as i mentioned before i was super nerd so i was mostly um i wasn't really social well i'm still not really but a little bit more just because i'm an activist so it makes sense for me to go see people sometimes but when

i was a kid i had zero wish or reason to go see anyone so I didn't really get any feedback you had no awareness of your of looks and then you were just like oh I'm pretty they didn't show you um Snow White the most beautiful fair skin I remember my mom bringing that up and being like look at Snow White she's pale and has dark hair and that's a like a princess and i was like she's ugly it's so the opposite i grew up in a country that only that prefers like literally all of the shops have whitening products there is such like if you were not light-skinned you're just considered like ugly did you just dislike yourself no because i had lighter skin compared to the average filipina like they called me mestiza so they propped me up as being prettier than someone

who is full-blooded filipino right so it's fucked up so i grew up being like oh she's so pretty but my sister is very dark and they were like you know she'd be prettier they say some fucked up shit like that so depending on where you are in the world was like really different, like beauty standards. So you would have been a star baby over there. You just weren't in the Philippines. I keep hearing this. I keep hearing I would have been a star in the Philippines. You would have. Now we just have we hope your daughter is. We got to get her into showbiz quick. Oh, the pregnancy only fans. We'll see. Nadia, what was your I know you said you were a nerd see Nadia what was your um I know you said you were a nerd but like what was your childhood like your family dynamic mom dad all of that

my mom and dad separated when I was five but I um I was communicating with both of them but I lived with my mom and then my mom picked another guy um who is um so we have this phrase in russia um you're under a heel i don't know if there is there is this translation for it in english but basically when you're happy to be told what to do by a woman so he's like she's an absolute matriarch. And she wasn't getting that dynamic with my dad so they separated because it didn't work out for them. Oh I love this. And yeah, it's just so up to this day she would be telling him, you know, like nobody asked you what your opinion right now, just close the door from the other side and just

come when I tell you so and he like absolutely fine with this um and like more than that he enjoys it well he understands this a little bit like like this playful like almost like bgsm ish type thing because you know she doesn't hate him when he she says that and she does she does it in a little bit in a playful way sometimes she goes over the top but it seems to me that he still loves it so that's that's where i was growing up and so for me matriarchy was not not a construct it was reality so like when i would get out to say normal world that was awkward because like i saw that men wanted to play that role and that's why i became feminist really early on that is so interesting i like i've really been

like i feel like the most masculine you can be is if you are in service of the divine that's how i always look at it it's like that's how i feel my fiance is he's just like what can i do to like help you like do your thing i mean he sells his own stuff, but. There's a term in Filipino that they use. It's not, is it hul, he said? It's like so confident. Like, more if, like. Yeah, like you're under the hill. So basically, yeah, you're existing under the hill.

That's so funny. In the Philippines, you call it, they just say, oh, is under. Is he under? And that's literally, everyone understands what under means it means like means under sasawa meanings that you are under the the woman of the house and that's how they describe certain men i think it needs to be like that to an extent in my opinion because a man like is more powerful inherently and then if the woman like. Subservient to him all the time. That's like a little bit scary to me.

I don't know. Yeah it's also not uncommon in my. Like certain dynamics. Or matriarchal dynamics in the Philippines. Where the husband is the breadwinner. But the woman has the money. Holds the money. Makes the decisions.

How to spend the money for the family. Because he cannot be trusted almost. Yeah it's very Russian as well is it yeah that's so interesting to me we call it a country of domestic matriarchy because they don't hold a big post like no the woman never was a president in russia but but that's very interesting to me because it's usually maybe there's a parallel here with having like like say for instance like a country like the philippines it is so technically very misogynistic still but that domestic matriarchy is real the women do run shit but just quietly and like but the appearance that they want to project into the world is that still of like this strong male like

patriarchy where it's like we don't have like women's rights here abortion isn't allowed you can't even divorce your husband who's beat you but really the truth is in the home the women run shit you just don't want to say that out loud it's pretty much like that i mean it's just wonder why why is it in this way why why is it happening like why like men is just too scared to admit that that's how things are around in our countries i have like a lot of friends who are single who are like i just want a man to lead to take control and i think we all have that instinct where we kind of like oh that sounds good but i don't think men want to do that in america like i don't i think men want a

woman to like tell them what's up no i think that they want to be perceived as leaders but they don't want to actually lead yes they don't want to do the work to do it but so for me the consensus i mean what i've come down like what i now believe is perception is more it means a lot more to men than women it's how they're perceived It's not what they're actually doing. Wait, did we ever get into this discussion about like how masculinity is like just a performance? Like in today's world, like it's just how do you perform as masculine? I was thinking about that spider, the spider that like does the dance. Yeah, like the birds.

It's so funny. They just do like these dances for the women and then they just kill them if it's not good enough. And then they bang them if they don't. But they just stab them so quick. They're like, that dance is not good enough. They're like just putting their like things out. They're like, look at me.

It's so funny. So I want to say like there's nothing wrong with being a man who identifies as masculine that wants a woman to like take charge and lead. Like I think that's really cool and hot. I'm not like shaming it at all. I think that's cool. But do you think that wants a woman to like take charge and lead like I think that's really cool and hot I'm not like shaming it at all I think but do you think that also it's just like I mean this could be just nature versus nurture too because I don't know like how much culture plays into it but some people are just like alphas and I don't know if it's like I had

a very alpha boyfriend and it was not because I'm alpha so it was a fucking nightmare and he was so much louder than me and cops were always getting called and it was just like because I just don't feel comfortable with a man like telling me what to do all the time and it just felt like there was a part of me that was like would get up and like make his breakfast and like oh like make him happy in the morning or whatever and like maybe there was like a little part of me that felt good it felt good to like put on an apron but it was like a fucking Halloween costume. It didn't feel like, I'm like, I don't want to do this in my life.

That is crazy that a man was like telling you what to do. It was crazy. I'm telling you, police, the building shook. It was, he still is in the apartment. I don't think he can leave because he's the security deposit. Will not cover what was done to that apartment. He and his new girlfriend's just having to close like a broken, all the doors are broken.

I can imagine there are a lot of men who low-key have a kink for wanting you to absolutely dominate them. They do, yeah. My main persona on my OnlyFans is a dominatrix. one of my OnlyFans is Isidam and Etrix. And I've been enjoying OnlyFans so much because I feel like secretly, like a portion of people who've been following Pusserite and who've been supporting us, they also had like some fantasies about me or us.

But then people are very I mean like obviously it's weird to just come to an activist Instagram and just start talking about your kinks that would be I mean inappropriate so they they were rightly ashamed of it but then at some point I realized that I want to give them an opportunity to express that because I don't think there is necessarily something shameful about sexuality if it's consensual right if I'm saying it's okay to express your fantasies about me and then it just opened up the whole like door to me learning so much about people who support us and and them learning about me and me learning about myself in this process but yeah what he said about you i think you said the the most the strongest man is the one who

in service to the divine they're very much into this kink fantasy whatever way of living and I'm hoping them to explore this part of them because a lot of people who follow me in regular socials and specifically

on the fans they're nerds well I guess I'm attracting nerds so they don't really think or talk about their sexuality. But I'm like, okay, you can open up to me right now. You can talk about being in service to me and talking about your masculinity and all the stuff we've been discussing right now here.

And, you know, as uh as performance femininity is performance it's so fascinating that's so hot but like so educational that you have just this like mass of boys who are able to express themselves freely without you know the shame of it all but then really kind of learning like what what my kink is shaming people's kinks though. Oh, that is your kink. I just want to just laugh. Yeah, but is that really your kink? Is that like what gets you off?

Oh, I enjoy it so much. Like sexually. I love to just like emasculate. No, maybe it's more social. I don't know. I enjoy it. We'll see. I haven't gotten the opportunity to do it enough.

You know what I would love? Not to Todd. Like Todd is gold. But that is a real thing is like to humiliate someone. But I like. Okay, so. Some people love? Not to Todd. Like, Todd is, Todd's gold. But that is a real thing, is, like, to humiliate someone. But I like, okay, so. Some people love to be humiliated. You know, humiliating people's cocks is special. Right. They love it, but it's hard.

And then you, like, I know that you've had people with different political views even want, like, their kink is to be converted by you, right? I know, and that was so interesting to me God would come out and be like I'm in such I'm in the opposite side of political spectrum I'm sick what what does it even mean she's like I cannot tell you much because if that will ever become known I'm just gonna get fired from my job but I want you to convert me where another person was, um, I don't know, working as a probation officer. And I was telling him that in Russia, no,

in, in the United States. And then he told me that, uh, well, I told him that, you know, you have to promise to me that you're good to people you work with.

And obviously, you know, you have, I have to take his word. And, but, but at least, you know, i have to take his word and but but at least you know we have this conversation so i was like you cannot be an asshole to people you work with and continue coming to coming back to my page um so he promised me that he would be nice and

he would work on himself and he would try to spread this word to other probation officers and then he really loved just wearing dick cage for me and putting the stickers on his butt and sending me pictures consensually. I was asking him for those pictures. Like this butt belongs to Nadia. That's so funny. I love that so much.

I mean, like we might have to cut this out so we don't, you know, fire up the trolls. But there is a part of me that every time. Oh, I know what you're going to say. Every time I receive such like, for instance, like I posted like a picture of a pie, a caramel pie for Thanksgiving. And I will get mostly like, where's this pie from? But there's always like 15% where it's like whore or something very aggressively why yeah so it doesn't get hidden and my thing is like oh that's the guy

who is just so like like bricked up for me yes like he cannot contain his lust for me that he has to reply to a thanksgiving picture and say wh. And there is a part of me that wants to say something back. Like, send me a dick pic. Like, let's do this. Like, what do you want to do? Let's converse. If this is the only way we're going to get through to your fucking incel brain, then throw me into that experiment.

Like, let's fucking do this. Let's have at it. Because the thing is, for someone someone to be like have all these feelings about someone they don't know it's obviously like a projection of like an amalgamation of all that i don't know if that's a real word it's cool um thank you yeah i think you said it wrong i'll say it again amalgamation amalgamation amalgamation you're adding a u because i wanted you to feel involved i didn't want to be narcissistic but um but so i'm okay with not knowing things we know we know what if i wasn't what if i was like guys we need to stop doing edit these out no but i do i think it's very

very powerful feature and or skill of a human being being okay with not knowing I just recently learned about it like two years ago before that I was just always had to

be like just make shit up but appear that I know things and it just makes you makes you look more stupid but also

it got you to the place that you are you know what I mean and then you get older and you go like oh it's like cool I don't know things. Imagine thinking you know everything.

That's repulsive. My dad used to say like true wisdom is the discovery of your ignorance. Like the day you discover how ignorant you are is the day you've truly like stepped into your wisdom. I'm like, that actually makes sense. I love waking up every day being like, I don't know, jack shit, and that's okay. Like, it's so freeing. Now it's like I'm a blank slate, and you can just inform me. And then also when you realize that everyone else has, like, a different perception of what's going on.

And then also that your memory is, like, 50% wrong. That is crazy when you're like, I have been standing by this story. And then you're, like, adding things to the story, not even on purpose over time. Yeah, misremembering. Fit whatever story you have in your head. I want to go back to your OnlyFans. So, like, how is it set up? Is that your main thing is mostly a dominatrix?

I started 100% dominatrix. And then I just started to explore different parts of myself. So, like, not 100% dominatrix I mean like I play different roles and like I have a more just vanilla side to me like definitely not submissive like there were people who tried to make me submissive but I'm just 100% against it I mean just like I don't feel good about it at least on OnlyFans. I mean I might play it in the actual bedroom, but not on OnlyFans. Yeah, I know what you mean.

And like there was a guy who was very specific and it really rubbed me in the wrong way. He... But it was like I'm a little bit masochistic. Just in social interactions, I have it. So I've even ended up in abusive relationships, I think, because of that. Because I like this feeling of just, you know, there is something hurting me. And I just keep pushing the same button and keep hurting myself. So I think I was doing that with

this guy on the fence too he he asked me to call him daddy first which I did which is like not my thing but I did okay okay I called him daddy and then he asked me to tell him that um say i've been bad um i've been um you know i've been asked i think he asks me to arrest me and bit the shit out of me with his um police baton which is like i've been a bad girl and i've been arrested for protesting against Putin and now I'm in your power. So it was like very close to my skin.

Yeah. It was like way too close and especially like... It was Putin in like a mask. He was pussy rioting you. Absolutely. Imagine if it was Putin on the other end of that.

After two years in jail, like, I mean, there are things I'm willing to play with and there are things like it's not. We all have our levels of comfort. Do you think Putin watches porn and do you think he has access to OnlyFans?

And who do you think are in his top five rotation? Well, we know that he does not use internet. So maybe he watches porn on whatever, BHS. He just makes people fuck in front of him. He doesn't need porn, Julia? Yeah, but I'm sorry. Even the person with the most sexual vigor, they just want to stay in bed and jerk off and get crusty in their sheets, right?

That is just, I'm talking, he has to have his lazy boy days of being like, I don't want to call in a whole sexual brigade to perform for me today. I just want to- I'm imagining him in one of those, you know those old people, lazy boys, that they lift you up? Do you know what I'm talking about? one of those, you know those like old people, lazy boys that like they lift you up.

Do you know what I'm talking about? So it helps old people stand up. Oh, my grandma had that. So I like the idea of him like jerking off like with it half up. He's like this.

This seat's like holding him. No, when my grandma got that after her shoulder surgery, I had so much fun playing with it. It's cute. It lifts... It's a dream.

It was like up and down. I mean, this was... It stands you up. It's like dream. It was like up and down. It stands you up. It's like incredible. It hoists you out. So he doesn't have internet, so he probably doesn't partake in any of this stuff. So he won't be watching the show?

Yeah, I don't think so. I really just don't even want to think about his sexual life. He's so disgusting to me. To me, he's not even an actual human at this point to me he's just a person personification of evil yeah and yeah that's a really good thing to do when you hate someone so much you just desexualize them like that is like well the opposite is pretty bad when you're like i must fucking know what i'm just saying it's almost like like what you're saying it's like i don't even see you as like a living, breathing, sexual thing

is like the ultimate like stab in the heart because I'm sure that's all he wants to be perceived as is like man with like vigor and strength. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no. You didn't have a penis to me. That's fair. I love that. I love this phrase. You don't have a penis to me. You don't have a penis.

You don't have a penis. No tango panocha. Nadia, do you feel, you practice BDSM a lot. Do you feel actually like sexually aroused by dominating or do you feel like it's a form of activism? Both. I enjoy it sexually as well. It's been a long way for me to admit it.

I think it was, I was trying to put all sorts of filters between me and, like, me as an artist using BGSM and me actually enjoying it. But then, yeah, I think I do, and it makes me feel just more sexual, I guess. And maybe I think it really taps into this, my kink of needing to feel like a metric in order to be in charge of my sexuality. Because I was growing up really sexually repressed. Because in Russia, we don't really talk about sex there is even this I mean at least with the generation

of my parents so we had this phrase in the USSR before I was born that we don't have sex in the Soviet Union meaning that we don't talk about sex people obviously still fuck but we don't talk about it so it obviously still fuck, but we don't talk about it. So it was my mom,

or my dad, or my stepdad, who never even acknowledged. So even if people would kiss on a TV screen and we watch it with my family, they would be just like, you have to turn away, even when I was 14.

That was fucking awkward, though, in America, too. I remember watching stuff with my parents like, ugh, you're like kegeling. You're like, everyone's like, ugh.

Wait, didn't you watch Sex and the City with your parents? I watched Sex and the City with my parents. I would like walk by and like peek and I just was so uncomfortable.

Well, we would watch Sex and the City and then I remember one time asking my mom like, do you have hair on your asshole? And she was like, Annie. And I was like,

we're watching this. And the answer is yes. And obviously you do bitch. You never, she's like, I don't know. I was like, Annie. And I was like, we're watching this. And the answer is yes. Obviously you do, bitch. She's like, I don't know. I was like, you never checked. Sounds like a hairy butthole to me. An HBH today. No, one of my, remember when The L Word first came out, the show?

The lesbian. It was a series. It was a show about hot lesbians, basically. They're in L.A. and their relationships. They should have given up some. No, you don't. You don't. Thank you.

But the whole, every, all the girls in my family had a crush on Shane. Yeah. Remember? Yeah. And so it was really uncomfortable. I remember thinking, like, my sister, my best friend, my mom, it's like, we can't be watching this stuff together, guys. Like, we're.

Our feelings are too real. Yeah. It's like, obviously. You're fighting over Shane. We're all sopping wet over shane like this is unhealthy like we should watch this privately on our own after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless

plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or sales people. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. he takes the most business calls and the fact that not a single call is ever dropped and you can use your own phone with any mint mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts

say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans mint mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month and all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5g network that is such a steal to get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month go to mintmobile.com slash tuesday that's mintmobile.com slash tuesday cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash tuesday 45 up front payment required equivalent to 15 a month new mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Okay, so you've

probably heard the word microdosing. Oh yeah, baby. And if you haven't, just know that all sorts of people are microdosing to feel healthier and perform better. Yeah, you know when it's like you have that just right feeling in your body? Like you're just feeling like a little. Yeah. Yeah. It's a touch lighter. A little happy.

In your bones. Yeah, you don't want to have to be like totally hammered or totally high. No, that's out. Yeah. You got to live your life. In the past, I have used microdosing to relieve anxiety, to feel relaxed, to feel just a little peppy in my steppy, you know, at work, whatever. After working out, it's always good to calm yourself down.

A little dose before you sleep so your thoughts don't take over in the night. We're not Snoop Dogg here, okay? We can't, our persona is not to be the highest we've ever been. We have lives to live. We have things to do. We have a baby to raise.

We have things to do, guys. I'm in a pantsuit. I have serious business to take care of, okay? I have to learn to read. I have to learn to read. You don't have to. You can't. No, I think rebel against that.

You don't have to learn to read. I do like when the author reads it out loud to me in my ear. I'm like, ooh. I feel like I'm emasculating them. Read it to me, man. Read me your writing. To learn more about microdosing THC, go to microdose.com and use code TRASHTUESDAY to get free shipping and 30% off your first order. Again, that's microdose.com, code TRASHTUESDAY.

Microdose.com, code TRASHTUESDAY for 30% off. percent off i was growing up with a lot of very hidden interest towards sexuality but i mean i was like a very horny teenager but um i also never could acknowledge that i have this and so you know to your question i feel like yeah this this figure of a dominatrix that is, you know, this prehistoric images of a fertility goddess. So she's my persona of me stepping into my sexuality and admitting that it's okay to have these feelings. When my dog was sick, I was like, I am Athena of my family. I was like, I don't even know what Athena means, but I was like, I feel like Athena and I'm taking care of my sick dog and my family.

Is Randy better? He's better. But just like the past couple of days, it took so long. Thank you for just not asking questions and just eating the banana, by the way. I'm sure that was just, that was random. But we do have this thing called banana break. And it's a time to reflect and be in our feelings. We'll call but banana jail

break for you um how wild was it that you were so your persona was faces covered how excited were people when you revealed your hot ass face they're probably expecting some uggo feminists you're like psych i was hot the whole time i mean that must be an extra shot to the gut, right? Like, oh, everyone really wants to fuck her, damn it! Where you're like, holy fuck, they're all pretty. Well, Madonna, who supported us when we were in jail, she said Putin just wanted to fuck us. That's why he put us in jail. Yeah, or he's gay.

Madonna's always right. That's what a friend of mine says all the time. I don't even want to think about his sexuality. He's nothing. He's a neuter. Did you feel like the women's movement in

2016 or 17 I can't remember when it was. Do you think that we stole your beautiful, cool mask and turned them into the most embarrassing pussy hats of all time? I cannot believe I wore that pussy hat. I wore it too. That is one of the most embarrassing moments.

Like, did Trump make that? Like, was that at us? Wait, who came up with a pussy hat? We must have been fooled. But it had to have been inspired by that. Yours was so cool. Yours was so cool. You guys were punk rock rock and i think we turned

it a little bit too um they were just nerds like knitting no offense i know you're a nerd knitting and it was we were not we were not needing them we were stealing them from supermarkets i think i think our women's movement needed more punk rock i think our women's movement if we had just really modeled it after pussy riot and gotten the mask with the cutout eye hole. Let's put some music into this bitch. I mean, the impact we would have had, I think. They still can do it. Well, yeah, you're right.

That's the thing about Pussy Riot. It's a movement and anyone can be part of this movement. Now, who can join? Anyone. Before that, can you, oh, there you go. For people who don't know what is Pussy Riot, what is it? I need to process the banana in my mouth. Okay.

Pussy Riot was started in 2011. It was a reaction to Vladimir Putin announcing that he's going to run for president for the, I mean, run for president, okay, he's going to become the president for the third time. And it was a bad time because two times is okay i mean like you can hate the guy but it's it's fine it's constitutional people can serve for two two times three time uh third time means that he's basically becoming an autocrat which was not cute i wasn't a big fan of his back then so we started this movement and we decided to go to the streets to perform guerrilla style and tell people in Russia that protesting is indeed an option

and after six months of performing in different places in Moscow the Red Square we had a tour around glamorous places in Moscow because our thought was south process was that Moscow was very much into just enjoying people were enjoying themselves which is like fine but also you have to think a little bit about the future of the country so you have to think a little bit about the where do this money come from and so Putin was using a lot of oil and gas money selling feeding feeding them back into Russia's public. And it was that kind of consensus that I'm going to be using this extra oil and gas money without criticizing Putin's regime. So we decided to go to all these glamorous places and remind people that it's okay to use money, but also you have to think about human rights.

So there was that. We did a series of action in public transport to bring our message to just regular people. Was that when you were kissing the police officers? No, it was different. It was a different group. That's so funny. Thank you.

Really cute. From me now with the female police officers. It's so wonderful. Did you see that, Esther? No, that's really cool. It's so funny. You can't do it to the guys. They're just like, whoa. I love your adidas shorts is it i know you look so cute oh thank you this is this

is an a plus thank you i'm really the maternity looks i'm struggling i'm trying to get creative here this is very creative i like it she's i love not pregnant from the waist down thank you thank you i'm sorry and i'm like this is like the first episode where i'm realizing like sitting for a while is hard is that that's probably not a normal symptom i know it's normal yeah i mean everything is hard when you're pregnant oh thank you even though you were 18 yeah it was so hard but you asked me a question in the beginning. I didn't finish answering it.

Because it was a question about like how did becoming a mother change you? So I became much stronger feminist because I realized that I hope that's not going to happen with you. Because you're already accomplished, established person. But I was 18, right? So the people would just start projecting all sorts of stuff on me. And I didn't have like real anything. I mean, I didn't have a strong enough identity and I guess a career to be like, no, wait, I'm not just a mother.

I'm also this and this and this. So suddenly at 18, I became just like this Virgin Mary and people were just like they were approaching me like it was a good thing they were just oh my god you're so cute you're just like young virgin Mary with Jesus I'm just like fuck I want to be a radical artist I want to be known as a radical performance artist and a thinker and a philosopher I'm studying philosophy in like the best uh university in Russia this is not what I want to be or wait that's amazing that you did that even though you had a baby you did all that like you did what you set out to do you kind of you know like we're we're stronger than people think we are women but yeah I think it's it's easier probably because you already have

something going on so you can just simply point it's just like i'm also this and this and this and this and i accomplished all these beautiful things in my life but it made me a stronger feminist because i realized how easy for people um is to reduce women to being just a mother just a maternal figure one dimensional and even when they think they're doing a favor to you they're talking um like you're so beautiful as a mother you're so good as a mother but yeah I'm also a lot of other things yeah yeah well I'm still undecided at 40 years old so but I have frozen embryos right there but it's like I feel like so going home for the holidays I was just home in Philadelphia with my family and my fiance's family and it's it's like, I feel like so going home for the holidays, I was just home in Philadelphia with my family and my fiance's family.

And it's just, it never makes the decision easier. It's like, I'm always so torn when I leave the holidays. It's like my mother-in-law really wants me to have kids like as soon as possible. My parents don't give a shit. They want me to do whatever I want. I feel like I want that experience, but I don't feel like I want it now. But you know what, Annie? I see it as choose your own adventure.

Don't even base your thoughts, ideas around what you're seeing in front of you or how parents are with their kids. Because I've seen the whole variety. I have seen friends who are just so entranced by parenthood who are like i fucking love this shit and also they are entertaining they make me laugh all day and then others who are like like like hair loss like fucking stressed parrots right so it's like choose your own adventure i think that if you just like ultimately like you made the decision to like create embryos so i like, that's really fucking cool. That's an evidence.

That is a big decision. Yeah. And I think just be easy on yourself. I just want to give them. I just want to surrogate. And then I want to give them up for adoption. And I want them to find me when they're 18. Wait, but give them to me.

Just give them to me already. It's too close. It's too close. You don't want to see your kid. You know what? One of my girlfriends said this. I want a surprise. I want to reveal, like, her.

I want them to reveal their face and be hot. One of my girlfriends said this, and I want to reveal like her I want to reveal their face and be hot one of my girlfriends said this and I'm like no one has ever said it better both options having kids and not having kids are equally as terrifying right and I'm like you nailed it you that's it before pregnancy I really looked at the negatives of it it's it's easier to see the negatives because it's like you're so comfortable and like your freedom and everything. And then now I've it's like you totally shift. Yeah. And now even though pregnancy is very hard and I don't love it, I'm like in a very positive, excited place. You're still doing good, though. You're like, I love that. It's a sacrifice. Yes, that is true. I had a question for you, Nadia. I mean, you've been in prison.

You know, you're an activist. There's so many, so much of your life is like high octane, right? Like it is scary. Like I can't imagine being on the fucking, you know, most wanted list, you know, like in your elementary, much less, you you know a whole fucking country right like what it what do you do to take care of yourself like what are some self-care um things that you've done that you find like the most effective my cat and i sauna really helps and jumping a cold pool after you say sauna like finnish people say it sauna yeah here they say sauna we're closer closer to finland yeah i'm half finnish so she hates that food she's russian she's finished

don't bring any finished food i don't even know what finished food no i've ever finished finished food then i apologize exercising yeah help stretching what kind of exercise do you do running i run a lot um lately i started to do yoga i've been stretching before but i finally got into the groove of just yoga yoga it rules right isn't it amazing it's pretty good it's unbelievable and then um weight lifting okay and just some some cardio so that's one of each of us esther she doesn't run she walks but she's a walker no i love we've done yoga together is it true that on your only fans you also like rate like body parts and like penises and stuff like that? I rate penises, yeah.

What is… It's funny, like nobody asks me to rate their clit. It's just like not a thing. I have a lot of subscribers who are girls and my highest pairs are women. But only guys for some reason. Wait, your highest payers are women? Yeah. Of course.

Why does this make so much sense? When I'm on Chatterbait, my God, those tokens fly. Like, I am a high-paying client. What is Chatterbait? What do you do on Chatterbait? What are we learning about Kalilah? Learn a new thing about your friend you sit next to every day. Kalilah, do you go on?

Can I just be clear? I don't know this person. I just want everyone to know I don't know this person. It's a weird thing. We're very good friends. I don't know a goddamn thing about her. I would fail a newlywed game with you so hard. I would never know one of the answers.

No, it's... Yeah, no, I mean, like, if it's a what is she what is she esther i go on these different rooms where honestly it's women who are um who have a lot of milk in their breasts and they squirt into the camera who is and i pay. So it's like cam girls. It's cam girls. It's live rooms that you can enter. And sometimes what's cool about it is that I always choose the rooms that have like no one in it.

So it's like, oh, there's only you, me, and maybe some other weirdo here. And it's like, click, click, click, click, click. You get all my money today. And it's, I don't know. It's very, I can't even describe it because I'm not necessarily in a sexual, like, mindset. It's more like, like, you deserve this, bitch. Like, get your bag. Well, I always give homeless women so much money because I'm like, do not suck a dick today, bitch.

Do not suck a dick today. I'm always like, this is enough for one cock. Take this. That is so interesting that women are the highest payers. That actually makes perfect sense to me. Yeah, when I go to strip clubs and I don't go there often, I feel like I have to spend so much money.

Yeah, yeah. But I also want to hand it to them. I just want to go like, here's a briefcase of money. Take it. A strip club? Exactly. Take an hour off.

But that's why you cannot bring me to strip clubs often because I would give all of my money. Same. Guys, on my way home last time we recorded, I did notice we are very close to a strip club. Yeah.

And I just want to say, like, that's on me. I want to throw money at your baby, though. Also, I want to call dibs on having the first sip of breast milk because I feel like this is going to be a fight. Now that you know my chatterbait hobbies, yes, it is going to be a fight. Well, she's going to be boned up about it. I'm just going to do it as a friend. Wait, but I have tasted.

And support. She's going to do it, like, in a creepy, creepy way. But you have tasted breast milk, right? Not on purpose. My friend squirted. Listen, years ago, my first friend I have a kid in college, she, like, squirted, and I was so shocked that it comes out like that. Like, I thought it would come out in one line. And it got in my

mouth and i was i was so scared this is how you get pregnant it's really it's actually so nice and mild and sweet it's good for you yeah but um when you rate penises is there a criteria that you have in your head for what a good one is i think we all know what is it or is the kink like they want you to insult them? Yeah, it really depends on the context, on what the person wants. Because some of them, it doesn't matter how good or bad their opinions are. They just want to be humiliated. I see. Do you ever, are they like, I want my money back? Because you're like, that's a great cock. They're like, get me my money back, you bitch. You whore with a zero.

you're like that's a great cock they're like get me my money back you bitch you whore with a zero it's weird like i'm a dominatrix who's very very nice because i'm generally um i mean i guess as a political activist i've seen so many people who want me dead and they have like death threats every like you know like as i'm sitting here i'm pretty sure i've saved 100 death threats and 100 more people telling me that I have to commit suicide. Like, no joking. There are people who are paid to do that. Right, right. And so I'm all for kindness.

So I'm even dominating with kindness. And I'm pretty sure there should be recognition that this is a special way of dominating with kindness. Well, I like that because, okay, so there was this male comedy podcast, and they were, like, talking about female comedians, like who they thought they were hot or whatever. And one of them goes, they said about me, they go, Annie Letterman looks like she smokes cigarettes and tells you you have a small dick. And I was so flattered.

I was like, that is, like, so like so sweet and I know they want that but I'm not but I'm not like mean like that like I but that's because I have like people pleasing in my childhood you know so it's like but I'm like why am I so flattered by that like why am I like yeah they're like yeah she's like mall hot she like smokes and tells you got a a small dick. I was like, that is. It's so cool to be mean. I really, I need to go to mean lessons. Yeah, me too. I want to be, and like in a way, it's like, you know, because I think I've spent a lot of time in my life making weak men feel strong or think they're strong when they know they're

not, you know, like I'm like, oh, I'll just, no, you're doing good. But it's like, who does that help? That doesn't help them be stronger men. And that doesn't. It's just lying. It's like faking orgasms. Will you make me a stronger man? This girl already is.

It's a Sheryl Crow song playing in my head. When you push her out of her penis hole. Are you scared about pushing a baby through a penis hole? Are you kidding? It's all I think about. Now, when you look at your penis in the mirror, do you go, this is a miracle I'm the first pregnant man? I just think so much about how, like, I thought women and men were equal and we're just not. No, no, no, no. And also it's like,

you know, you receive a lot of like, I'm sure, like just like you said, like online just harassment. Like as we're sitting here you're probably getting a hundred people just coming after you like does it just roll off your shoulder at this point or is there a part of you that's like I'm gonna go through each of these people and be like fuck you I do that sometimes yeah it depends um I mean, you know, if I'm wrongly accused of something, it really irritates me. If it's just a random person who wishes me death, it's fine. I'm used to that. But yeah, if I didn't steal something and people say I stole it, then I start to get really worked up.

Yeah, that pisses me off too. It really can get on their skin. You can never control a narrative. It's so infuriating. You put yourself in such like a situation where it's like people's eyes are always on you. A whole country's eyes are on you often. A couple high-paying women. High-paying women.

But like are you – like what are your thoughts around death like are you ever afraid like are you do you see death as something desirable yeah like are you afraid of it ever tell us how goth you are I have a friend um she's an artist uh and she's um she's in her 70s and um she's very goss um but not i mean not like like she wears goss clothes she's just goss in her heart and asked her are you hopeful about the future she was like are you kidding me i'm so glad that i'm like most likely i'm gonna be dead in the next 10 years. And I'm just so looking forward to that. And I'm really not envying you

because you have to inherit this planet with all of these problems. So I would not, like, I don't know what I would do if I were in your place and I would be 34. I'm not afraid necessarily, but like yesterday, I felt very weird and lightheaded in the morning.

And then we went to get a Christmas tree. And then as we were coming back home, me and my partner, I was just like, wait, I feel very lightheaded right now. I think I might be poisoned with a nerve agent. And he was just like, no, I don very lightheaded right now. I think I might be poisoned with a nerve agent. And he was just like, no, I don't think you're poisoned with nerve agents. I think you just got too much coffee and you just didn't eat anything. So everything is fine.

But for 25 minutes, I was trying to listen to my body and feel like, oh, is it actually just coffee? Or is it shutting down? Oh, my God. Or is it shutting down? I know, it's crazy, but they kill you. They kill you in your... They kill people. That's what I'm saying.

It's like, it's not even something like... It's not like your death threats are different than ours. Yeah, like ours just seems so just mild. And it's like, I never have to stop and consider if my lightheadedness is, you know, a poison. I will say, I don't want to make this about me, but I did get very lightheaded yesterday during a colonic and I did think I was about to pass away. I thought I was passing away. A colonic does it to you. I stopped her

through the first procedure. Really? I was like, something's going to happen. Wait, what happened with yours, Annie? Did you just like your blood pressure drop? I was flying. I've never, I've never done it right after you fly. We're so dehydrated. And my ass was just absorbing a lot. It was just really taking in a lot of water. And, and she was like, whoa. Like, she was even impressed. Wait, what do you mean, whoa? They shoot water first. But because I was dehydrated, my asshole was, like, soaking up the water. It was drinking it up. It was drinking. My asshole was. Thirsty. But I, I've never been, like, so lightheaded. And I was like, I think I'm going to shit like my intestines onto the table. I'm about to be inside out.

Did you get a lot out? Why are you so excited? Because I am. That's the whole reason. It is amazing. I'm very constipated. And I just started having to do like water enemas to help things come out. And it's really awesome.

No, it's good. I'm really happy. I'm going to get a colonic while you're pregnant. No, I won't get a colonic, but just I squeeze some water up there and it just kind of. I had to, when I was doing my egg freezing, I was so. I remember that.

I was so constipated that I was like, my fiance was like, I'm just ordering you a colonic. Would you ever let me digitally disimpact you? Yeah. For news? And you, Esther? It's basically what you do with people who've lost

their reflex. Like, for instance, like, people who are quadriplegic, they've lost their, either their micturition, their urination reflex, and their reflex to poo.

And so what happens is it gets impacted in there, and you have to digitally kind of, like, pick it out. I think the water... When you say digitally, you mean... Digitally with a digital in this one. But she wants to... Don't you want to digitally kind of like pick it out digitally you mean digitally with a digital not digital media wait what if you digitally removed my my cacas while she was squirting breast milk into your mouth um who's throwing tokens at us because

i will absolutely do this oh my god well nad Well, Nadia, thank you so much. The best dismount of any episode. Let's go out on that beautiful. You're amazing. Thank you so much for coming. I hope that I'm never breastfeeding in the same room as Annie's shit being dispelled. I can't wait till you shit on the table. With your hands. I can't wait till you give birth and poop on the table.

I don't care. I would be so lucky if I poop on the table. That would be such a blessing to get it out. Because women are so constipated in birth that like people who are scared of that, I'm like, you're crazy. I want that. I want it all out.

Anyways. Wait, before we go, what does your shirt mean? Oh, yeah. Cunt. Oh, I love it. Thank you. And where can people find your OnlyFans and all your other stuff? Can we put it in the description?

Yeah, absolutely. Check the description, baby. Oh, I want to do a domination. I have to ask Todd. I have to tell Todd. I have to tell Todd. If you posted a C, also my video is called Sexist. Oh, I want to do a domination. I have to ask Todd. I have to tell Todd. I have to tell Todd. You didn't have a positive.

You can find my video. It's called Sexist. You can find it by Pussy Riot Sexist. On YouTube? Yeah. Dominating men very beautifully. Ooh. Exciting.

Thank you. Such an inspiration. And thank you guys for listening and watching. And we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. That was so awesome.