Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - New Year, Same Wenches - Ep 151

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Starting point is 00:02:11 Celebrate the progress you've already made. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Trash Tuesday. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to Helix sleep dot com slash trash Tuesday and use code Helix partner 20. This is their best offer yet and it will not last long with Helix. Better sleep starts now. Slugs. Happy New Year. January 18th in Portland and then I'll be in Seattle January 26th. You can get tickets at Esther on ice dot com. Hey sluggies. I can be in Seattle January 26th you can get tickets at

Starting point is 00:02:45 estheronice.com hey sluggies I can't wait to meet you I can't wait to perform for you my set is so good if I say so myself a little cocky but I think I've earned it come see me you can see me next January 12th and 13th in Edmonton you can see me February 16th and 17th in Denver Colorado You can see me February 16th and 17th in Denver, Colorado. I'm doing Annie Wood and Friends February 20th. February 21st and 22nd, I'm in Vancouver. March 1st and 2nd, I'm in Fort Worth, Texas. I will be in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Starting point is 00:03:14 I'm coming back to New Mexico, guys. I'm so excited. That's March 8th and 9th. At the end of March, I'll be in Washington, D.C. And May 9th, I will be in Los Angeles at the Netflix. The Netflix is a joke festival. And then in June, end of June, I'll be in Jacksonville at the Netflix. The Netflix is a joke festival. And then in June, end of June, I'll be in Jacksonville, Florida. I'm sorry I had to change those dates.

Starting point is 00:03:31 And you can see me every Thursday on Annie Wood. You guys, welcome back to Trash Tuesday. I know we had a guest last week and it was already 2024. But this is our cozy, our family, our official New Year's Eve. I'm sorry, not New Year's Eve.ork it's our official um kickoff to 2024 episode yes yes what does that really mean i wonder do you okay every year before new year's i'm like all right like this you know it's gonna be the year everything's gonna be different and then you wake up and it's the new year and you finally wish to fish your wish it's all the same

Starting point is 00:04:13 what do you mean this is gonna be a very different year for you but like i mean like the first few days of january the first few weeks i'm like i to feel different. I don't have a problem with the first few days or few weeks. It's the weeks after that. It's because I will have that like New Year's push. And then you just slowly fall back into your habits and are like, there's I'm not doing this. I don't know. Semi-glutides changing my life. I don't even get the push. Like I wake up. You have the push. I don't. I have chronic fatigue and, um, pots. I have, can you explain to me what pot says? Cause I kind of just laugh in your face when you say it, because it sounds so stupid. It's postural orthostatic tachycardia.

Starting point is 00:04:54 Tachy is another word. So what happens is basically like I can be sat down like this, right? You can take my blood pressure and you can take my heart rate. My heart rate will probably be in the lower 60s. And my blood pressure will be about 110 over 80, say, for instance. Okay. I don't know what those things mean. Do you know? Which is normal. All normal.

Starting point is 00:05:14 I'm just saying it's normal. And then I stand up. My blood pressure drops extremely low to like 80 over 50, which is really low. And my heart rate will go up to like 150. And I get very lightheaded. Every time you stand up? Probably eight out of 10 times. So we need to get you a walker.

Starting point is 00:05:32 But apparently it's like a symptom of, not to start the new year on a grim note, but it's a symptom of chronic PTSD. I'm sorry, complex PTSD. Because your internal system is like- Yeah, my body is just like burnt out and that's why

Starting point is 00:05:46 I have like chronic fatigue is one of the other symptoms of it because I I'm telling you guys yes I work out it's a fucking miracle

Starting point is 00:05:54 I work out you work out a lot but it's a miracle that I do because when I'm not working out I want to be horizontal all day

Starting point is 00:06:00 I am so tired we want you horizontal too you would definitely then understand pregnancy very well. Can I say the acronym? I will force myself to work out, but I really, it's really hard and I want to be laying down all the time. Did you not feel that way before? Not as much. I will be honest. I am reaching that point in the pregnancy where that belly induced insomnia is starting that I've read so much about on Reddit late at night. Like basically it's a little bit harder to get

Starting point is 00:06:31 comfortable and I know it's only going to get harder. So I'm trying to stay calm. Usually we've had that, but with like the bellies of the fat men we're sleeping with. we're sleeping with so I am just like really tired I think I'm like and I hate to like be at work and be like I'm tired but that's just like that's what work is for I'm sorry can we normalize this who's not complaining about being tired at work ever that's what work is you just look to someone next to you I'm tired oh I don't I don't I don't know really I think yes I mean when you ask a co-worker like how are you doing and someone says I think, I mean, when you ask a coworker, like, how are you doing? And someone says, I'm great. I'm having the best day ever.

Starting point is 00:07:09 It's, you know, that's not commiserating. Like, we're all fucking tired. The end of the metaphor. That's the thing is everyone is tired. So no one wants to hear you complain that you're tired. Well, is your insomnia like anxiety? No, it's more just like, oh, I'm awake now. And there is just no going back to sleep inside i don't know

Starting point is 00:07:28 i don't know why pregnancy get gives you insomnia because it should in theory be making you so tired but is it true insomnia or is it that you're feeling like physical symptoms that keep you up and like you're like there's like because insomnia is like, you know, is it is it a brain thing or is it more like God? It's pushing on my bladder. I keep having to get up to pee. Well, that's to me. That's like kind of all connected because it's like, oh, I just woke up because I'm in a weird position and now I'm awake. And you can't go back down. You can't always. No. Do you have that when you're not pregnant? Yeah, actually, I do. Yeah. It's if I wake up at like 4 a.m., I'm like, the day is starting, I guess. It sucks.

Starting point is 00:08:09 Dave will be asleep till 1 p.m. I suggest never getting an Oura ring. Why? Because I will sleep, like I'll wake up and be like, oh, I got a good night's sleep. And then you check and it's like, no, you didn't. You got no deep sleep. You got no REM.

Starting point is 00:08:21 How does it know? And then you go, it's like your efficiency, like your daily efficiency is you need to take it easy today. And I'm like, what? It also tells me to go to sleep at 9 p.m. I'm like, they're like, you're winding down. I'm like, I'm just getting started. I have a question for you. My ring's trying to alpha me. I'm like, no, bitch. No, no, no, no, no. You know, this is interesting to me. Do you think you're just overriding your systems? Like your system is saying one thing, but your brain is being like no like I'm taking over like I'm just overriding whatever that is the ring I I actually believe the ring is telling me

Starting point is 00:08:51 the truth and I am like but I have learned coping skills to decide that I am alert and awake okay so this is uh it's funny that this is coming up because I this is like a realization I made this week in pregnancy is like pregnancy is the time where you can't override what your body wants. Like if you're a little hungry, you have to eat. Right. Okay. Have you guys ever gone really long without eating like for whatever reason, maybe like 10 hours, 12 hours, whatever, and your stomach is so empty that you start burping in pregnancy? I will go one minute.

Starting point is 00:09:29 I'll be like, I could not eat. Dave, like, no. How could you even bring up dinner? No. Three minutes later. Poor Dave. Three minutes later, I'm burping. I'm like, oh, I need to eat.

Starting point is 00:09:40 It's like, how does that come on that fast? It's so inconvenient. It's so inconvenient to be pregnant. Okay, my check-in is over. Who's next? Annie, your lashes are incredible. I know they're stabbing you in the eye. It could be a serious eye infection from it. I'm going to come in with a sty. But I will, listen, for my sluggies, I will put glue on the sty. I'll have the lashes on the lump for you. Are you wearing the same eyeshadow? It looks different. Yeah. I feel like it looks more like a fairy princess on you.

Starting point is 00:10:09 It's pretty fairy princess. I think we can't tell them ourselves. I think it's because Annie has some on her cheek as well. I put it all over, yeah. And you don't. So she's glowing. I'll put it on my tits. I'll put it everywhere.

Starting point is 00:10:19 I'm just ugly. Smack some on my labia. Let's go, baby. It's New Year. You're always beautiful. Check in. I feel good. I woke up at 630 in You're always beautiful. Check in. I feel good. I woke up at 630 in the morning with ease.

Starting point is 00:10:28 Same and I feel bad. With ease. But I didn't have a spa last night and I'm all of the like vitamins and stuff I've been taking and the peptides, the semi-glutide and everything has been like regulating everything. Like I'm falling asleep at a normal hour. Really? Like I even think if I was, yeah, because when I had a spa the other night, I still went to bed like at 12, which is earlier than I usually go to bed. It's so hard to go to sleep after you perform. It's, and here's the

Starting point is 00:10:53 thing too, like my spot the other night was at 10. At eight, I was like, cannot f***ing wait to perform. And then by like 9.50, I was like, I'm the most tired I've ever been in my life. So then I'm like chugging a Red Bull. I'm like, I got to get up. I got to perform. And then I'm like, I perform and then I'm like, zing, you know. It's really the cruelest thing. I know last two weeks ago, I'm like, I love our job. But like the fact that we get amped up at night, how do we have a regular life?

Starting point is 00:11:20 It's hard to have a regular, like whenever I talk to these like longevity doctors, sorry guys, this might be out of this may not be relatable but um they're always like you need sleep you need sleep and it's like okay well your circadian rhythm my circadian rhythm is never going to be at the right place I'm never going to be able to go to sleep early and wake up early it's like that's not what my job is so I don't know I'm always trying to figure that out but okay so you woke up it did it was easy I went to bed. I woke up early. I have to give Randy this little like vitamin in the morning. I've been getting that done, handling his little vitamin early. Then I went. Are you guys seeing the same longevity doctor? Yes, we are. I give him a little bit for me a little bit.

Starting point is 00:12:00 I'm giving him a semi-glutide. Yeah yeah he's on ozempic he's down 60 pounds it's shocking he's only 0.5 pounds now he looks so good so hot sorry to say that in front of you kalilah i know my dogs are not um very they look cute though you dress them up you know i'm really i was hoping for a um a more enthusiastic response when i sent you guys the Christmas picture of my dogs in there. I was just so into that. I felt like, oh. I got up off the toilet. I saw that.

Starting point is 00:12:31 I stood up from the toilet. I wiped whatever I needed to wipe. And I go, Dave, where's Donut's Christmas dress? Front or back? I don't remember. And we went into her little cubby and we got all her Christmas outfits. And unfortunately, it doesn't fit this year. And we went into her little cubby and we got all her Christmas outfits. And unfortunately, none of them fit this year.

Starting point is 00:12:50 Would you like some puppy ozempic? Yes. They're in Randy's fridge. We have a special fridge for Randy's meds. You're bragging about it really triggered me. Okay, so you woke up early. Woke up early. Did my thing. Went to Pilates, which was actually a mistake because i went three days

Starting point is 00:13:08 i went to yoga two days pilates i needed a day off my body was too tired i was kind of like okay this hurts too much um should have taken a break that's a good note for the future i went to the coffee shop i got kalilah her shirt oh my my God, you did? This was, they had two colors, two like versions. This was the best color. Let's see. Oh, that's so cute. You know I'm going to look

Starting point is 00:13:31 like incredible in this. Thank you so much. You're going to look great in it. I thought you were going to say I look bad. No, no, no. Like I always look really good in my tops.

Starting point is 00:13:37 Yes, of course. You look good in everything. I've never heard her say something so nice about herself. I know. She's getting... I'm uncomfortable. I like it. No, I love it. She's healthying up. I know. She's getting... I'm uncomfortable. I like it.

Starting point is 00:13:45 No, I love it. She's healthying up. I am. But don't ask her to stand up. She'll pass on out. Yeah, I might pass away. Do you fall to the ground? I've learned...

Starting point is 00:13:54 So I've had it since I was pretty young, so I'm very careful now. Or I just... You know what it is? I just override my systems. I just keep walking until I can see again. Did you ever fall off the starting block? No. Did you get dizzy in the water ever? No, it's only from getting up and down. You know, my brother, okay, so my twin brother has Tourette's. I don't know if I've talked about

Starting point is 00:14:13 this. And when we were on the swim team, he used to always get disqualified because he'd be spinning. They'd be like, lane four, can you please take your marks? And he'll be like spinning. And then underwater, he would get disqualified because in the dive he would spin underwater like a little dolphin. Oh, my God. That's so cute. So cute. I'm snapping too. I'm just having so much FOMO right now that I can't override my systems.

Starting point is 00:14:32 That's like the most fun is when you override your systems. When you like, you know you're tired. Well, that's when you get giggly. Yes. And you like use drugs. Yeah. So like that's the first time I learned to override the systems because when I was like in my late teens, everyone was like, if you sleep past, like if you take Ambien, but you

Starting point is 00:14:51 just fight it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get into this like twilight zone. And that was like the most pleasurable like anal experience I ever had. Okay. I didn't know.

Starting point is 00:15:01 Was on twilight Ambien. I should have known. Twilight Ambien? Twilight Ambien. That's what it should be called. Because the first time I had anal anal it was dark in there i i swore to never do it again i had a fever that night i was like oh i think i was just so traumatized by the whole thing the shape is the color of twilight you know a fading a fading darkness i thought you're gonna see a pale vampire the first 10 minutes of a colonoscopy or the no the first 10 seconds are the best of your life

Starting point is 00:15:26 because they give you twilight yes which i forgot what's twilight what drug well now they give you propofol which is the michael jackson drug yeah and you just for 10 seconds you're like it's the best high ever well i really enjoyed getting my wisdom teeth out because the laughing gas rolled i was like this is the greatest i've ever felt on twilight ambient okay ambient doesn't make you actually sleep though right like aren't you I was like, this is the greatest I've ever felt. That's right. Anal on. On Twilight Ambien. Now, okay, Ambien doesn't make you actually sleep though, right? Like, aren't you like not like fulfilling your like need?

Starting point is 00:15:52 Like, it doesn't. I'm not sure. I never took it for, to actually sleep. I took it because my mom had it. I was like, oh, I'm going to experiment with this. And then one time I took it and I sleep ate. Like I woke up with crumbs all over my body and like a stacks of I don't need Ambien for that but this is when I was like extreme dieting and I was not eating any carbs and Atkins was it just giving you what your body needs like Roseanne did not want to be

Starting point is 00:16:15 on that show anymore so like right it gave her that tweet that she put she tweeted out so she didn't have to keep going on to set yeah it really does give you what your body needs i just don't i like i had a friend who like prescribed it to me i don't know and then she like wanted some back and then she wanted some back you know what i mean i was like i don't know if that's legal she was like give me half of that i was like we don't hang out anymore but um but she was like she was like it's great and i was like i don't i've never like woken up feeling refreshed and ready to go. Off of Ambien? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:50 Well, that's because Annie. Oh, so you have taken it. Yeah. And you have to get the full eight hours. That's why. And you're probably getting five. Yeah. It's not.

Starting point is 00:16:57 Yeah. And if you do not get the full eight, you're a zombie. You wake up very, very groggy. You're still in it. Wait, let's get a Kylia check in. Okay. Anal Ambien. You've had anal Ambien? No. When I take Ambien, I go to sleep. Shove it right up my ass. I boof it. I only boof Ambien. Guys, listen, my asshole is awake a lot. And that is, it is actually, I would say the most awake part of my body is my asshole. Really? What was

Starting point is 00:17:21 it about the Ambien? Um, I know because if it just, you have to sleep through it. Finally, I can sleep through it. Have you had boyfriends where you're like, you can just when I'm asleep. Okay. So this is a discussion. Let's put a pin in that because I absolutely want to talk about this bullshit right here. Anyways, my check-in here goes my check-in. Okay. My check-in, I just want to be clear and I will forfeit the rest of my check-in, but I still was still in bed and I hadn't gotten even close to it, but that was 6.30 when I woke up, but guys, I'm going to forfeit it because we don't have the whole show for me to do my check-in, okay? Thank you. But I feel great. I did my NAD again. I feel good,

Starting point is 00:17:56 and I didn't throw up. My check-in, this is the first day I'm taking creatine, and I feel pretty like, you know, like I've always, so my mom is, she's really been very proud of the fact that she's a natural gym girly her whole life. She has acquired a 16 pack and has been ripped her whole life. And she's always like, I don't take anything. I just nourish my body with food and blah, blah, blah. And I've always kind of stuck with that. I've never taken a single supplement. And and but I saw this like doctor on TikTok who is like Perry she's talking about perimenopause and menopause and she was like all I see is that now my algorithm is just giving me menopause stuff constantly I like it yeah and

Starting point is 00:18:36 hot like 60 year old ladies yeah so I took creatine and then I I worked out and I looked at my body in the mirror and I was like oh my god God, I'm like swole. What? Is that bad? Is that true? Yeah, because it fills your muscles up with like water and it, you know, it helps with like ATP and all that stuff. What is, what does it do? Like, is this safe?

Starting point is 00:18:54 Is it like? It's one of the most, one of the safest supplements, I think, and longest studied supplement. But it's a supplement, right? It's natural. It is a supplement. But your body naturally creates it and you're just kind of boosting your own. What made you decide all of a sudden to start it? The perimenopause lady.

Starting point is 00:19:09 Oh. But it's also good for your brain. It just kind of like, I'm very, very low energy. So I'm taking things that I think might help. Like I'm taking magnesium threonate. I'm taking things that are boosting me a little bit. Wait, why threonate? I haven't taken magnesium until at night.

Starting point is 00:19:23 The threonate is supposed to be good for like brain fog and stuff. Oh, I thought you said at night. Magnesium glycinate I take at night. That's what I'm taking at night because of you. Yeah. And then also magnesium citrate occasionally for constipation. Yeah. But I will also, sorry to interrupt your update, but I will come forward.

Starting point is 00:19:40 I've been doing suppositories every morning. Oh, fun. I love suppositories. I love putting, fun. I love suppository. I love putting them up. When I had my eye thing, I had to do that. You did? Yeah. And then they didn't work.

Starting point is 00:19:49 And then I popped a thing and went to the hospital. Have you ever tried to shit so hard that you went to the hospital? Yes. You're trying to override your system. I'm using the brand Fleet. It's actually Whitney gave it to me. She's like, here, take this, which is a funny drug to get from a friend. But she gave me this little tub. And then you just stick it up your butt and then you kind

Starting point is 00:20:08 of just chill out. And then a few minutes later, like. You got that urge to purge. The party starts. Yeah, I love suppositories. Wait, are there any negative side effects to creatine? I'm like, I think you have to have like good kidney function. Like you have to make sure your kidneys are good.

Starting point is 00:20:23 Okay. Anything you take, you gotta make sure your kidneys are good. Okay. Anything you take, you gotta make sure your kidneys are good. I'm so jealous of your guys's like supplemental glow up journeys while I'm over here just like getting pregnant and using, trying to shit. Well, we're figuring out how you can have your bounce back. Okay. That's true. I'm studying. And we have two options. You can get swole or you can lose all your muscle mass, which I'm very, I'm very worried about. I am working out more. It's easier to work out. It's so weird. I literally don't want to lose weight. They have to make-

Starting point is 00:20:51 You're the first person to go on a Zempic that doesn't want to lose weight. I'm literally like, they have to make it so that you don't lose weight. They have to give you one that's, because I'm telling you, it fixed whatever made me think that I was fat. That's incredible. Are you, what's your hunger situation? Like, are you eating? Yeah, I'm eating. I'm trying to get as much protein. They say you're supposed to get protein for like as many pounds as you have, which is almost impossible unless I'm doing like so many protein shakes, but I'm trying to just eat a lot of protein because I don't want to lose muscle mass. But you can still eat. You're not like disgusted by food. I think,

Starting point is 00:21:19 yeah. I don't know if when you get the higher doses or whatever, or if it's people are eating like greasy food. I don't eat unhealthy food, so. What are your, do you guys set goals for the new year or is it just the same like, you know, goals that carry into the next year from last year? What I really like to do at the beginning of the year, which I haven't done it this year yet. And I always say like, I give myself the whole month,

Starting point is 00:21:42 you know, January, like that's the whole grace period. If I get inspired, maybe I I won't maybe I don't but like you get a new notebook and you just kind of like write down your goals write down what right what do you have rollover notebooks I have so many notebooks I've never touched what do you what about you what do you guys do I do rollover I do rollover I just know like concretely it's like the same goals, but I just more concretely state them. Yeah, and set your intentions for the year. I was really good about this last year, and then once I got pregnant, like, I just fell off. Year before, I think you wanted us to cancel New Year's. You were like, I'm done with this. It's too much pressure. Yeah, wait, was that?

Starting point is 00:22:22 Yeah. But that's weird, because I had a good start to the year. I don't know. Maybe you just needed to say that and then you like restarted. Because I do think, I think the best thing for the new year rather than like even thinking forward is to like release things that I like, I no longer want to do this. Yeah. So that goes into what I had first, which is all about last year.

Starting point is 00:22:41 Stella's like, I do this work. Can you please look at it? Yeah. By the way, guys, there's always like all these notes Stella puts up. I do this work. Can you please look at it? Yeah. By the way, guys, there's always like all these notes Stella puts up. I literally don't see words. Reading is so foreign to me that I don't, it's like, it could be a painting. It's more of an outline. Yeah. What are three words that you would use to describe last year, 2023? New York. New York. For me, New York. Pregnancy. Fleet. Maybe love.

Starting point is 00:23:05 Fleet enemas. Maybe love, actually. Oh, Esther. I know. That's already a movie. Fucking hack. Because when Dave and I went to New York together, that was like, I feel like we really, I don't know, it was just like getting to date a guy who like has an apartment in New York like

Starting point is 00:23:26 it was a whole new relationship dating in New York feels so romantic it was so crazy it was New York makes me so horny like when I'm in New York I literally walk down the streets and I hug the I hug New York it got me pregnant I spin wait this is a really good point because the last time I was in New York I was so jet lagged and so out of my fucking mind i didn't know what time it was because i went straight from the philippines to new york and but like i just f***ed myself every single day while i was there and it was all a blur like a hot young i didn't have the energy for that oh the coffee shop guy i remember i i just remember just going like you're so hot and I was just on he was fingering me in like a a van outside of my spot so love love New Yorker pregnancy I

Starting point is 00:24:12 just was like it set me up for like a good rhythm and then I got the pregnancy got me really sick but um yeah those are those would be like my three big things does that feel behind you though because it's over and you're having like more positive feelings? No, it does not feel behind me because I'm really scared about what the postpartum is going to be. Like that could hit and it could be like way worse. For a lot of people it is. But yeah, those are my three.

Starting point is 00:24:39 And I think there's good things in there too. So what about you guys? Esther, I think it's, I like that you're very honest about it. I feel like not enough people are. We don't care if you complain about it. Thank you. This is not a real, this is not real work. I don't want to like out us.

Starting point is 00:24:53 These walls are fake, guys. This is like totally fake. But my best friend was the same way. And I was, I was like, thank you. Like there was no, not one good positive thing she said. And she was like, I don't even care that there's a baby in there either. There's a range. There's a range. There's a variation.

Starting point is 00:25:07 It's like there's different people have different experiences. And you would think that because I've had pregnancy loss that I would be like, I'm so grateful. And I am. But like I'm just – it's really f***ing physically hard. And I had – I think I have like prenatal depression that I'm starting to come out of and working on. What is prenatal depression? It's just everyone talks about postpartum depression. But yeah, exactly.

Starting point is 00:25:30 But prenatal is still when it's in there. Yeah, it's before. So maybe I'll have postpartum happiness. You kind of don't seem depressed, though. You're kind of crushing it. And you're just like, think of like what you're going through, like how you would have been not pregnant if you were having these ailments you would have been I do think you're still there's like gratitude yeah there is there is like now that I can feel the baby move like that is really

Starting point is 00:25:54 exciting and I do like whenever Dave expresses how grateful he is that like gets I get so high off of that yeah I'm like I'm doing this for someone else like I'm sacrificing for like it just makes me feel like a way I've literally never felt because I've never done that before um okay wait what was your favorite memory of 2023 Annie give us three words to describe your year snakes snakes I love my snakes. We're getting a new snake, baby. There's an albino pine snake. We got a name. We're excited. No, I like, I don't know. I've had so much fun. Like I've had ayahuasca snakes. I don't know. Everything's falling together. I think I'm shedding a lot of things. Maybe use the snake analogy. I'm shedding some skins. I feel like so confident.

Starting point is 00:26:46 I feel really good. And I feel like, yeah, every day I just get a little bit more my true essence, my true self. Getting back to like who you are. But like the who I am that I didn't even haven't known yet. It's exciting. Just like not giving a shit what people think. Just being, I think I always, because I had a twin brother, brother I always who was so much smaller than me like I just I just robbed him in the womb like I took everything like he was like a shrimp and I was like this big baby I think I've just always been afraid of like outshining or whatever like so I just I'm never like my fullest I kind of like

Starting point is 00:27:23 tamper and I don't feel like I don't feel like I like dim my and it could be the highlighter but I'm not dimming myself anymore I'm being like as shiny as possible is that because like so you came out bigger and then when you were little were people like was your family like like I just had more maybe a little bit but it's like I just had more I mean I just like I just had more I stole like I get maybe that's a story about it but I mean it's definitely a story about it but it's I was just bigger than him and better at sports a little cuter you know I just he's a handsome guy he's you know he says all right and uh his wife's gorgeous but you're the hottie of the family I'm the hot yeah I'm the hottie I mean Max got it Max got it but he had to work on his personality a little bit to over

Starting point is 00:28:04 the nose on me was like a little cuter. A hot girl, no matter what, is always hotter than a hot guy. But I think like my shininess got me in trouble as a kid. You know, the word we shall not say on camera because for some reason that gets demonetized. That's f***ing weird. Crazy. But, you know, the diddlings and stuff. And I think I just like have been like trying to not be too much.

Starting point is 00:28:27 But I'm just being. Also, you know what? Like don't underestimate the like last 10 years of what life and society has been. Where when we post things and random people say you suck, you're ugly. Like that'll dim you too. And I think it's time this year, 2024, for us to f***ing break through that and come out of it and be ourselves.

Starting point is 00:28:53 And because I think that's affected all of us. Remember what I was saying to you in there too? It's like, it's like if someone doesn't like our outfit, like if someone doesn't like my outfit, you have bad tasting outfits. Like I know what's cool. Like it's me. Like I am the set designer and the costume designer in my movie.

Starting point is 00:29:12 You are not. You are watching my movie with popcorn, bitch. So like learn from me and get a cute outfit. Yeah, it's my movie. Or just don't get out of here. We're designing our lives and what we're doing. And I'm just really inspired by what you're saying. It's like the most important thing of this year should be like, let's get back to who are we

Starting point is 00:29:28 really? And even who are we really that we haven't met yet? There's this guy, I should try to find the real, but there's this guy who's like a motivational speaker and he dresses like insane. I don't know if it's to trigger people on purpose, but I want to give him a shout out, but I don't know what his name is, but he is giving this seminar and he goes to somebody goes hey if someone came up and said your hair is blue would you be like oh my hair is blue like oh no he's like it's like in it's like it's just not true you just have to not believe and it's just like shut the up yeah maybe with less anger but yeah Kalilah three words um three words. That's too embarrassing. Three words. I'm having some memory loss.

Starting point is 00:30:13 Like this is the first year where I was, this is going to sound really strange, but after I did ketamine the year before, I don't know if ketamine does this, but I'm forgetting a lot of things in my life, but I think that I needed to forget it. And I'm actually coping a lot better because of some level of memory loss like my family I've always been the elephant someone who just never forgets names never forgets dates never forgets events bad things good things that happen and I think that has been a detriment to to me because I hang on to things beautiful like and now I'm just like oh like early onset Alzheimer's cool I'll no beautiful Kalilah you're dropping you're dropping memories that you don't need to

Starting point is 00:30:51 yeah you're not holding on to the past that's amazing yeah so I think 2023 was um definitely a year of a whole lot of necessary memory loss and just um kind of like what I felt was the ability to just put one foot in front of the other without looking back so much. I'm trying to break out of a box I think I've placed myself in for so long, which is like, I've only done podcasts. This is who I am now. Like, I'm never going to do stand up, obviously. It's not my lane. I'm never going to do this. But I have kept myself in this very like safe place of like, I've been doing, you know, just I'm a podcaster. I do this. I've been doing it for nearly a decade. But then 2023 was like, you know what, bitch, like, like you had, you were a kid that wrote down too many things on your list of dreams, a list of things you wanted to accomplish. I was like, why don't you go look at that again? And so I have, and you know, I'm excited to say 2024 is going to be a really big year of me just trying to venture into very scary, but big projects. And I'm really, really proud of myself. Are we allowed to talk about your thing? I think soon, yeah.

Starting point is 00:32:11 I've put my heart and soul into something that I feel super excited and passionate about. And I think I've done an incredible job. And I'm really looking forward to having people share in on that this year. I know just knowing you, when you do something, you do an incredible job at it. Thanks, Esther. just knowing you like when you do something you do an incredible job at it like it's really impressive and I'm so inspired and excited to hear that you are stepping out of just podcaster because I do understand when you have a job it's really easy for that to become your whole identity you're like that's what I do that's my thing and there's some good to that but then we can get too stuck in it and so I'm so happy that you're like having the bravery

Starting point is 00:32:45 to step outside of that and like try something new which is so scary your brain doesn't want you to but you just are so good at what you do like when you say you're gonna do something you kill it and so I'm I know a little bit about what you're talking about and I can't wait to share it with you and I've really desperately tried to not shed but but like, like I've honored the last decade of my life with Bobby, but I am more than just his ex-girlfriend. I was more than that before I met him. And I will continue to be more than that after him. Like, you know, yes, I am. I have a close relationship with my ex, but like, dude, I was a complex layered onion well before that. I would have been in a place of success with or without him. And I think that people try to take that away from me and say,

Starting point is 00:33:33 you wouldn't have been shit without him. I absolutely would have. You did not. And if you don't, if you didn't know me before that, before Bobby, you wouldn't maybe know, but I was always going to get here. You wouldn't have seen him on a podcast for that long. I know. But also, Kalia, the more you do, like, outside of podcasting, the better it's going to be for podcasting, because this does get, like, to be a lot, like, just talking. It is, yeah. It's like, we have multiple podcasts.

Starting point is 00:33:56 It's like, there's, like, a lot of, you're like, okay. It's like, the more we do outside, the better it is for everyone. I think so, too. And I will say it again. I was always going to get here. I was always going to work hard, be ambitious and, and be about the bag and set off to achieve my dreams. Like I've never not been that girl. That is New Year's resolution. Be about the bag. I love this theme. It's like, we're all investing in ourselves in different ways and we're going to be going off

Starting point is 00:34:25 and living our lives and all that's going to do is let us come back to the to our show every week and just have more life experience to share like you're going to be probably like sharing about how being an entrepreneur you know like that's going to be so interesting to hear hopefully people will be okay that one of us has a baby and then that'll be kind of cool. Of course. Give us some Huggies money, baby. Ooh, we're happy to pimp that baby out. Can we pimp your baby out and motherhood out, though? Of course. Yes.

Starting point is 00:34:56 Oh, my God. This has been so much suffering. I need something out of it. Are you kidding? No, no, no. This baby will make us all rich. All of us. All of us.

Starting point is 00:35:03 Even you at home. You know what I was thinking though? There is a danger with, I think like New Year's resolutions too for myself where it's like, I have been realizing so much about how, you know, I know that being in the past is bad, but I'm being so much in the future too. I'm really robbing myself of the present moment. And I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself where it's like it's more like I used to think my all of my goals need to be so specific and I think that is like what f**ks me up and it's like more about having grander things about like abundance and happiness rather than specific

Starting point is 00:35:35 goal posts I need to hit so it's more of like a feeling and a vibe that I can embody now rather than feeling like oh well if I want this specific thing I don't have it right now and it's like hard to oops is that a good sign wait, I actually I'm like trying to interpret that because I'm getting two things from it. And I really like it. It's like, OK, you instead of being like, I need this specific goal. It's like I actually just need to feel this certain way about my life. Right. And then all of those things come in. It's almost like thinking too small anyway. I actually wanted to bring this up earlier when we were talking about exercise.

Starting point is 00:36:11 I learned from Dr. Rubin, who is an allergist who you have to follow. Okay. I learned that people can be allergic to exercise. How is that possible? It's a New Year's miracle. The world is working out for you. You can use this this as an excuse don't say working out is triggering no but apparently it can like create like a histamine response and cause people even all the way in rare rare occasions like anaphylaxis

Starting point is 00:36:38 you don't have that but this is she exercises that is my worst fear because although i will admit that i do think walking is working out and I will fight that to the death, people who don't think so. Oh, wait. It absolutely is. There's a lot of people who don't think that walking counts as a workout. A lot on this couch. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:36:55 I'm just kidding. But you don't not work out. Yeah. So basically, it can trigger a histamine response, cause rash and swelling, even death in rare cases. It's called Exercise Induced Anaphylaxis. And this is by Dr. Ruben on TikTok, who I follow like. I mean, I am allergic to Hawaii.

Starting point is 00:37:14 I know that. The flora and fauna. Yeah, I can never go back to Hawaii. I was never more sick. She was sick and fully in a puffer jacket the entire time. In Hawaii, yeah. And another thing I wanted, so that was my gift to you, exercise-induced anaphylaxis. Look, I'm not saying there won't be a day where I'm going to use that.

Starting point is 00:37:35 Because look, did I always participate in gym class? I had my period every day in high school. My gift to you, Annie, for 2024 is I found out that Suzanne Somers got buried in Timbaland boots. What? I was going to wear my Tims. I wish I had my Tims. I said Timbaland like the fucking musician Timbaland boots. I really went back to—you really, like, exercised how it is is and more urban look. I went back and watched so much Suzanne Somers Instagram video. Suzanne Somers and her husband are like, they are such goals.

Starting point is 00:38:15 They're so amazing. It's like her, I can't believe it. I'm literally, this is such a gift. I mean, her family, everything's so beautiful, so cute, so funny together. What is it about her that you love? They're just so funny. She's herself. She's fully herself. And her husband is like, it's like Todd, like funny with her and doting and they tease each other.

Starting point is 00:38:35 But it's like just so like in love. Did she ever have a reality show? It was a missed opportunity. I'll tell you that. She sells products. So she would sell like do lives on her Instagram to sell products. And they were like. Yeah. Suzanne Somers was very much like a legend for my mom. And she. And Annie.

Starting point is 00:38:53 And she got. Why did she get buried in Timberland? Was it about knocking boots or something? No, I think these pair of. I think she was just a fan of wearing Timberland boots. But it was in reference to their sex life. Yeah. It's knocking boots. of wearing Timberland boots, but. It was in reference to their sex life. Yeah, it's knocking boots. Oh.

Starting point is 00:39:07 It was so amazing. So cute. So funny, so cute. You know they like f***ed till the very end. I know, and not like, you know how it's like, I keep thinking about it, it's like, men just like are going to be creepy old men. Unless they find like the right match of a partner that's like age appropriate ish you know

Starting point is 00:39:26 where like this like this like this guy they would make little references each other it's not creepy it's like the you have to have the right match like if if Suzanne Somers was like 40 years younger than him we'd be like this is the most disgusting yeah I often think about like you know Esther you talk about Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez and I think they're probably super horned up for each other. Oh my God. It's so obvious. Is their age the same? Not that far.

Starting point is 00:39:49 They're very close. I love, I'm like obsessed with her. They're so, they're f***ing all the time. I know. I can see it in the pictures. Like I can look at them and be like, oh, this is what they do in the bedroom. Earlier, we were talking about men or people who are like,

Starting point is 00:40:06 here, like, if I'm sleepy, you know, you have permission. Yeah, you have permission to, like, have sex with my just half-asleep body. I am... After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or

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Starting point is 00:41:51 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You guys, new year, new problems, new solutions. I always feel like this time of year can be super overwhelming for me because everyone's just like raring to go. And some people are very like organized and these are my goals for the year and I'm just over here like oh like am I gonna be left behind I have so many feelings in the beginning of the year and you know it's especially important that I check in with my therapist and for me BetterHelp has been a game changer because I don't need to worry about finding parking, driving to a therapist. I can access my therapist through my phone,

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Starting point is 00:46:31 No, I'm not horny in the morning. I'm sorry. I don't care what you do. I'm not too much of a morning. I could middle day, but morning. I'm 100% anti-morning sex. I think a lot of women are, except for Katie. But is it just in the beginning when things are romantic?

Starting point is 00:46:43 Because, like, years in, you're like, please don't fucking touch me. Let me sleep. No, I like the morning. She loves the morning. I think it's crazy. Early, early morning? Yeah. Like just when you wake up, I guess.

Starting point is 00:46:52 It really depends. Sometimes I wake up horny and it's good and it does set your day. It's a fun day. Really? Yeah, it's a fun day. But it's like,

Starting point is 00:46:58 my nightmare is if I said the night before, let's bang in the morning and then I'm like in the morning, like, oh God, I promised. Oh shit. So what I do, peel through the cottage cheese. Let's go. There is something about being nasty and fucking that's the best. Yeah, you're right. You're at your nastiest. Okay. So my whole thing is that the guy that I'm seeing is very much like a 5.30 a.m. kind of horned up dude. And I am like the opposite of that.

Starting point is 00:47:30 So the compromise we've come to is, yeah, like you can bang me while I'm asleep. Like don't expect me to participate. My limp body is yours. But then he's not into that. He's like, I do not like limp bodies. That's a very good sign because my boyfriend that I said that to took me up on it. I was like, oh. No, I know.

Starting point is 00:47:50 I was going to say the same thing. I've pitched that. And then he's like, no. Yeah, it's not good. The guys that take you up on that, you're like, they're going to be working at a morgue at some point. Kalilah, I thought you were going to say the compromise was like 8.30 instead of 5.30. So my horned up hours are between the hours of 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. and then 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. Those are the times where- Those are the worst hours to have. Really? So it's like mid, like noon around and then before or right around sunset.

Starting point is 00:48:23 Don't you have like a day to do? I know. This is why it's been, it's difficult. I'm like nighttime after dinner. Same. She's swimming. After dinner. Oh, never after dinner, Esther.

Starting point is 00:48:34 She goes by the tides, okay? This bitch has some stuff to do in the water. High tide, low tide. Do you ever bang on a boat? I've never banged on a boat. I've never banged on an airplane. I've banged on a dugout of a baseball field. Yeah. That is sad. No, that's okay. You know, I have a journal. I don't know if I mentioned this earlier. I have a journal. I wish I could

Starting point is 00:48:53 find it. I think it's gone forever, but I had this purple journal when I was a kid and I wrote what I wanted, what I wanted people to read, which was like my dream journal. And then on the back was my real journal. And the fake journal was all about, like, meeting, like, the boys from my baseball team up at the dugout and, like, yeah. Or by the scoreboard. Oh, my God. It's funny.

Starting point is 00:49:12 I always dated baseball players. Yeah. Oh. By accident. Like, I was, like, not necessarily, like, a cleat chaser, but I always ended up with dudes who played baseball. I think it's okay to be a cleat chaser. If you want to be, if you want to bang athletes, it's great.

Starting point is 00:49:23 You're going to have to be cheated on, probably. But it's, like, it's okay to be a cleatshaker. If you want to be, if you want to bang athletes, it's great. You're going to have to be cheated on probably. But it's like, it's a, it's a hot thing. Don't we agree baseball is the hottest athlete? Yeah. The bodies are the hottest. The thick legs. So good. They do say they cheat the most though.

Starting point is 00:49:35 Baseball? Yeah, because they're always traveling. Yeah. They have so many games. They have well over a hundred games a year. Apparently the best is football, worst is baseball. My neighbor who was my like, my young adult romance novel protagonist, his little brother grew up to be the hottest baseball player.

Starting point is 00:49:54 It's so crazy. I don't even know how to look him up, but it's so weird. I'm like, Matt, your brother got so hot. It's so fucking weird. And he got Christian, so he's wearing a cross, and you know that's my thing. I love when a guy bangs me in his cross, hits me in his face. You know why?

Starting point is 00:50:07 Because he chose me over God. You watch Romeo and Juliet. No, it's because he chose me over God. But yes, also that. You guys, back to New Year's. What is something that you'd like to accomplish or achieve? Or what is like just one thing for 2024? I want to make your baby cool.

Starting point is 00:50:29 No. Yeah, it's about about you I'll say this I just realized as we're sitting here that it's the new year and next month my movie is coming out and so she finally speaks about it I'm really like I just realized oh yeah the strike is over like I can talk about it so I'm just like really excited. That's a new experience. Like when does it come out? I believe as of now, it's going to be coming out in limited release in theaters, February 23rd. That's so, that is so exciting. I know.

Starting point is 00:50:57 I'm really excited. It's called Drugstore June. If you don't know, it co-stars, sorry, Bobby Lee. Sorry. And it's produced by Bill Burr. And there's like, it's just, yeah, I'm really excited about it. So that's going to be like a big thing, I think, for 2020 for me. You know, who knows, whatever.

Starting point is 00:51:18 But I'm just excited to get it out there. Whoever, however many people see it will be exciting. However many people see it will be exciting because, you know, I haven't had a project that I wrote like come out since Alone Together really. I don't know. I'm just like, yes, okay. Yes. Get some estuary things into the world. Not to toot my own horn, but I feel like I am the reason behind the success of your production and I'll tell you why.

Starting point is 00:51:46 Your co-star, ran out. There was a shortage of Adderall, like a national shortage of Adderall right when he was the first week of filming. And I think he had, everyone was out in the streets going crazy. Dude. Like, I mean, do you not remember like what a mess he was? And then I was able to score some. I don't remember how it might have been. It's just maybe it was from across the border. Was it my mom? It was your mom. But I remember being like, you cannot be like this on set.

Starting point is 00:52:17 Because he came back like really like crying. Like I can't remember my lines. My brain's all over the place. And I must have called like 50 people. So I was drugstore June for you. That is amazing. That is the thing about Adderall too. It's like when you get off of Adderall, you are like not well.

Starting point is 00:52:38 You are white. Yeah, he was unwell. And yeah, but we got through it. But congratulations, Esther. That's fucking cute. I know, Esther, that's so- Thank you. I'm so proud of you.

Starting point is 00:52:46 Thank you. And also, obviously, this will be the year that I become a mother. And so I have no predictions for what that will be like. And I don't want to have any. I'm just going to take it as it comes. Are you going to name her Drugstore? Although June is a very cute name. It is a cute name.

Starting point is 00:53:04 That was taken from so my name uh i'm named after my grandmother and then i was like oh i want a name that's like mine but not mine and one of her sister's names was june and so that's where we took that june was a very my family was like wealthy growing up before we lost it all right but we had our own family carpenter our construction guy his name was june he was our funda really was he hot and he was not but um did he try to bang you i remember i had to make a diorama and with paper mache and he was like hold my beer we're you're not going to do with paper mache and him and my dad created like this fucking like it was like a it wasn't even a diorama it was like the rice terraces of the Philippines.

Starting point is 00:53:45 But in, I don't know how you call it. It was like a 3D beautiful thing they made. And I went to school that day and I was like, look what I made. And no one obviously believed I made it. But my dad and my carpenter, June. Oh my God. I was very surprised at how you said diorama the way that I say it. And then you immediately said

Starting point is 00:54:05 mache weird paper mache thank you for saying that that was wild mache mache you say shit so you don't say mache i don't want to hear shit she used to call it caperland caperland which is like what her character would yeah but you know it's like the philippines it's like wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable as our Olympic sport, basically. It is funny, though. Okay, 2024, go. I'm going to eat my popcorn and watch. My 2024 goals, I touched on it earlier. I am starting, I am leaning into my entrepreneur side and I am launching something that we could probably talk about pretty soon.

Starting point is 00:54:43 I'm super excited about it. It's right up my alley, something that I fully believe in. And so stay tuned for that. And so it's a big year for me and I'm super excited. And you're in love. Oh, on a personal front, on a personal front. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit of that. I don't want to like jinx it. Am I allowed to say that? Yes. That I like, you know, I'm like smitten and stuff. Yes, of course you're allowed to say that. Okay. I feel, I feel. Who would not let you?

Starting point is 00:55:12 Who is the person that would not let you? Bobby. I don't want this to get back to him. No, no, no. Yeah, I am. I am a little bit smitten. I think that this person might be exactly like what I've been needing like my whole life. Oh my gosh. It's too soon to tell. Yeah. How can you know? Is he perfect

Starting point is 00:55:34 or is he a narcissist? It's really too soon to tell. Kaila, you have trauma. You know. I know. I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I just was saying that to my friend and I was like, I no longer feel that way. I'm like, no, I no longer am allowing that feeling. I should. Good. Yeah, I should. Just lean into the. To the joy of it all.

Starting point is 00:55:50 Yeah. Let the shoe drop as a surprise. Don't anticipate it. No. No shoe dropping. That's what my therapist said. She's like, they did a study where it's like people who worried and people who didn't worry and they, it doesn't change the outcome.

Starting point is 00:56:04 It doesn't change the pain of the outcome when you worry or if you don't worry about it. So you're just like wasting so much time. You're wasting so much energy worrying because it's going to hurt just as much even if you feel like you've prepared yourself by worrying. I need to really remember that. Yeah. Annie, 2024, where are you at? Comedy special. Yes!

Starting point is 00:56:22 Fucking exciting. I don't know exactly when, but it's all coming together. I'm like so excited. I figured out what my closer is and it's like so epic and I'm so excited. So I'm like, I've been like writing it backwards. Can I go to the taping? Yes. Can I wait? Do we know when and where? Oh, only one, only one slug. No, I don't know. I don't know when and where yet, but, um, but the part that I care about the most, which is the actual jokes of it all. I'm like, it's all coming together and I'm so excited. And you've come a long f***ing way. When I met you, it was like, hey, I'm, you know,

Starting point is 00:56:56 just moving from my car to an actual, you know, with something with a roof on it. So rich. And look how far you've come. No, I feel really good. I feel excited. I feel like I'm really like getting, it might not look like it, but I am getting on top of my finances

Starting point is 00:57:10 and stuff like that. I'm figuring everything out and I'm just being like a grown up and it's like really fun. And I don't know, I look forward to like more things. Yeah. More experiences,

Starting point is 00:57:20 but I'm really excited about my special. That's a big deal. And it's a huge deal. You're beating Bobby to it. he's a precautionary tale he's a precautionary tale because I could just never do a special yeah but I I feel like I'm I'm ready and I'm excited and yeah I'm really excited about right no better time than now yeah I think now's the time and then I'm just to continue like getting all my shit done it's just been so fun to like actually get things done and you know I want to write a book.

Starting point is 00:57:45 There's just like a lot of things I want to do that I actually am tackling now. And it seems realistic where before it was like. Like a pipe dream, right? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? It's like to learn to read. Like I think the moral of at least my life story is like remember the original dream. Because sometimes I think along the way you get things.

Starting point is 00:58:04 Like and now you're making money. And then somehow you're like, I'm still not satisfied. And it's like, imagine if you had reported back to that girl in your mid-20s and said, hey, this is what you're doing. She would be thrilled. Dr. Drew's cell phone number. And I can text him. Not that he likes it at very odd hours of the night.

Starting point is 00:58:24 Is like, I mean, there's so many things that are like so crazy. I can't him, not that he likes it, at very odd hours of the night, is like, I mean, there's so many things that are like so crazy. I can't believe it. I know. Dr. Drew was someone that I listened to as a very lonely girl with, who couldn't understand why she was as depressed as she was, who didn't understand that the sexual trauma she endured, you know, was making her want to f***ing kill herself. And I was there in a small room in Pasadena

Starting point is 00:58:47 listening to this man's voice. And now he is someone that I can text. We have the love line number. The personal love line number. It's crazy. Do you want it? Go to our Patreon. That's how I feel about you guys, just so you know.

Starting point is 00:59:02 My first text that I got from all of you, I almost cried. In the same way where it's like I used to watch you and was like so excited. Too eager. No, I'm just kidding. And now. Oh, that's sweet. Love you, Stella. That's so sweet, Stella.

Starting point is 00:59:13 You should just know that too about yourselves. That was a cool moment. It does feel like amazing to meet these like sluggies and just it's exciting it's exciting I think that this show like the the greatest thing I've gotten out of it is like I've really reached like a very like specific dream audience that I've always wanted to have and people that are kind of like wanting to like grow and get over bullshit and laugh and have a good time and not like be like bogged down by the past or whatever not to make it sound very boring but you know what I mean oh and more ayahuasca this year what do we have

Starting point is 00:59:49 here Stella this is from I thought that this is a anything yeah ego death oh well Katie and I were talking about how like the concept of an ego death if someone's like I've had an ego death and they still have an ego because they're like acknowledging their ego. What? You know what ego death? What is ego death? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:00:09 Look her up and read it out. Okay. I know we're in a really like positive space right now, but I do want to talk about the one bad, one of the worst memories I've had at 2023 that I want erased from my mind. Okay. And that is being punched in the back of the head outside of a strip club. What? I don't think I ever told you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I punched you. I didn't know it was you. I told you guys this story. So I know that we, you know, we're making

Starting point is 01:00:39 plans to have maybe your baby shower at a strip club. Right, Esther? Or as you know, we're having some like team building thing happening at a strip club. But yeah, I try to break up a fight outside of the strip club and between like... Between who? Okay, it was between... You're not going to believe this. It sounds like...

Starting point is 01:01:00 I believe you. Okay, I go into a strip club with a guy that I'm seeing. And in that strip club is a full blown batch of like a batch party, a bachelor party. And there was some guy that I used to see. I immediately was like, we got to get out of here. I went over to the guy I used to see. I was like, hi, hey, good to see you. But I told the guy I was seeing, I was like, we need to get out of here because like people are drinking there's lots of testosterone I'm the only girl current guy okay and so we moved to another strip club literally 20 minutes after that same bachelor party comes into that strip club and at that

Starting point is 01:01:37 point I'm like what what am I gonna do and so I leave I was like you know the night is over I'm just gonna leave so there's no drama and um the guy that I'm seeing was like, no problem. Like, I'm not trying to start shit either. So he walks ahead of me and I walk behind him. And the guy that I used to see comes after me. And he was like, I want to talk to you because he's not like, you know, he's like the middle of a strip club crawl. He's heard about it.

Starting point is 01:02:03 He wasn't like being like aggro about it but he was like hurt and you know one of my other guy friends who was there not the guy i'm seeing comes over and he was like hey he's like everything okay like we need to fucking go and so then they it's like the spider-man meme but it's all guys that are in love with kalilah they squared up and i was like no and I got sandwiched. And you guys, I got f***ed. I got thrown in the kumite. Like, I haven't been in that kind of scrap in like so long. But I got punched in the back of the head. That guy that I used to date and the friend of the guy that I'm seeing. But dude, they were not paying attention to me.

Starting point is 01:02:40 I kept catching blows, like stray blows to my head. They were like fighting each other. And I kept trying to like stop it. Their masculinity like overrode that they were like fighting over you. They were like both trying to protect you. No, yeah, exactly. I was like, this is over me, but somehow you guys keep punching me. I do like a head punching. There's something about a head punching that's so funny.

Starting point is 01:02:59 Dude, I got my bell rung. I haven't been punched in the side of the head in decades. It was like the back of my head and I got like pushed to a wall. It was so fucking pathetic and sad. And I'm like, I am. And you're probably dressed so cute too. So cute in my little cowboy boots. Do you know how embarrassing it is to get thrown across a parking lot in a cute outfit, Esther?

Starting point is 01:03:20 Your life is just like so much more thrilling than mine. It's not. It's not, but this was really like, I would like to forget this memory of 2020. Well, you got to get punched one more time to forget it. You're going to get punched in the front and the back at the same time. I got to get my teeth knocked out in 2024. Don't, I like your teeth. Don't get your teeth knocked out. Thank you. That was a long story. I want to forget my first trimester forever. I don't ever want to go back. That was the worst time of my life. I want to forget. Just because of how sick you were? So sick. So sad. In bed all day. A huge day for me was like going from the bed to the couch. Getting that tissue and shoving it in your disgusting,

Starting point is 01:04:05 slobbery mouth. Just so sad. It was. I'll say maybe what I want to forget is when you couldn't announce. I was like, this is driving me crazy. There's so many things I want to make up. I really did feel bad for you, Esther. You were like constantly like just foaming at the mouth.

Starting point is 01:04:18 It was really weird. It was so bad. You're just like a sick puppy. Yeah, I had a perfect year. Sucks for you guys. Sucks for you guys. You got just like a sick puppy. Yeah, I had a perfect year. Sucks for you guys. Sucks for you guys. You got punched in the uterus. You got punched in the head.

Starting point is 01:04:30 I just went. Oh, you really aren't going to say like one bad memory. You had a perfect year. I literally can't. I'm not even kidding. I can't think of one. There's been like, you know, but everything's been good. Kylie, can you go back to your Ambien anal?

Starting point is 01:04:42 I'm sorry. I'm so interested. And because I'm not an anal girly and I. I'm not either. That's why I had, I needed an Ambien. What do you want to know about anal Ambien, Stella? This is getting a little personal. No, should I be? I thought. Now we know that you're a little butt pirate. I'm just wondering. She's a little butt pirate at sea just trying to find the right. I am so scared of anyone touching my butt. But I'm wondering if it was because you were relaxed or is it because like you like what was it? I was I was high on a drug. She was too busy tweeting racist things.

Starting point is 01:05:27 really not ideal because I think when you do try something like new sexually you should be sober and you know able to like you know consent to no don't keep going actually I don't like that and I think I was just too high to even notice I mean I noticed but it was like oh maybe this I was just confused I was high and confused she was seeing stars she got punched in the back of the head she took an ammion then she got punched in the back of the head. She took an Ambien and then she got knocked in the back of the head. Guys, I don't want to be punched in the head this year. I want to show my skims off. My new skims.

Starting point is 01:05:55 That I want more skims in the new year. Oh, yeah. Let's manifest that for sure. Wow. It's the whole set. I love this. How fucking cute is this? Really cute. My horoscope said for this year that I should wear brown.

Starting point is 01:06:06 Okay, the reason I wanted to talk about ego death, guys, was just so I could talk about, you know, I listen to all these gurus and stuff and I love like Eckhart Tolle and I love like all these things, but I'm like, how rich is he? What do you mean? Like how, like, can you have an ego death if you have like multiple houses, if you have $70 million? And I want the answer to be yes, because that's where I'm headed. I mean, that's sort of always what I thought about, like, you know, like Deepak Chopra

Starting point is 01:06:33 always had his moment and everyone and that was like everyone's like guru and go to guy for the longest time. Different from Eckhart, because I think he really is like legit. Yeah. Yeah. Deepak, I remember Bobby being like he was in a cafe in San Diego one time and like he tipped so little and I'm like oh how can you be that guy and then be that cheap or not be considerate to wait staff you think his his like his excuse was like well I

Starting point is 01:06:59 want to empower them to be I tip so much like I'm telling you I have a meeting with my business manager and I think he's going to be like you you have to tip less. You're being crazy. But I just like to, my friend, I had a whole conversation with her about this. We went to a donation based breathwork and there was a breathwork before it that also had acupuncture in it. So it costs $45 to go to that one. And that one, the time didn't work out. That's what I wanted to go to. So then I went to this donation based one. So I had in my head the idea of $45 already. And the guy that runs it is very sweet. And he just wanted to put it together for people that can't afford to do, it was a soundbath, that can't afford to do these type of things in LA.

Starting point is 01:07:38 And so afterwards I showed her, because I wrote a funny memo on the Venmo. And she was like, whoa, you gave him $40? She's like, that should be money that you're saving for your house, for your family and stuff like that. And I was like, I guess I just don't. And maybe this will make me bankrupt or something. Uh, and thank you for rebag. I could just sell the purses again. But, um, I like to think of it like an overflow of abundance and, but it just, to me, it was like a very easy thing to do $40 but she really kind of got in my head that that's money for and I've had friends that are like I don't give people not that they don't tip but they don't like over tip because they're like that's money that could

Starting point is 01:08:13 be for my family I think that there's like either way what do you guys think I think everyone's financial situation is different and like it's so hard to judge what people are doing. I think obviously you have to tip like I would say 20 to 25%. Yeah, I agree. Like it's just kind of the usual. Like for me that's easier to just go by a percent as opposed to like what mood am I in. Like I just kind of always do that.

Starting point is 01:08:41 But I don't judge someone that says to you like, oh, that's for my family. Like I don't judge someone that says to you like oh that's for my family like I I don't judge that she said it's for my family but the other girl yeah oh yeah so I don't know I know it was weird it was just interesting because I was like oh it's just not the way I like vibe I don't judge how other people that I'm not dating tip but if I'm interested in a guy and I am absolutely looking at how he tips I want a fat tip I want I want not dating tip but if I'm interested in a guy and I am absolutely looking at how he tips I want a fat tip I want I want a fat tip I want to I want to give fat tips I want people at my table to give fat tips I go to this coffee shop every day and I chat with all the people obviously and that's where I get you the shirt and um I tip them you know how you can tip

Starting point is 01:09:21 like they give you like three options of tips. I always tip the highest ones like $3 on like a $2 thing. It's like I just always do that. I'm talking to them. I'm taking up their time like whatever. I do the same thing. And then there's a guy who talks to them just the same amount as me and they told me he never tips. Get the f*** out of it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:37 You tip nothing. Get out of there. Yeah. Don't talk to them. Yeah. That's very. In and out bitch. If you're not going to tip gonna tip don't don't take their

Starting point is 01:09:45 time and he's not as entertaining as me listen i'm coming in with some good bits okay i've i've stepped over 20 homeless people doing knitting doing weird shit on the street it's wild in my neighborhood i got some stories by the time i get in there but that's sort of what i love about you though annie like you really are very very generous like i think you are generous in a way that like you don't hold it over people's heads like Like you really are so happy to give. It feels very good. It feels good to get, I don't know if it's because I have a twin or something. I don't know. It's just always, I like to get people presents and it doesn't matter. I actually, I mean, I will, I've learned to receive presents and stuff, but it was never like that was my thing. I don't know what,

Starting point is 01:10:19 I'm sure there's some unhealthy reason for it, but I really just, I really, I don't know. I like to, especially for people that are doing a service, handing me something. Yeah. Annie, I have a question for you related to the ayahuasca thing. So when you go on these, like, are men doing ayahuasca and, like, looking inward? Like, are they learning or is it mostly women? Okay. It was interesting, though, because I wore I wore this like this flowing dress the first night

Starting point is 01:10:45 and I do like dress cute to the ayahuasca ceremony. I do like wear my sunglasses. I like come as big as possible. Are you supposed to dress comfortable though? Yeah. But I dress comfy

Starting point is 01:10:56 but like cute, you know? And I know I came in once and my shaman was like, no. He's like, it's too tight. He goes, he's like, you can wear it but it's too, I go, you're right. The pants were too tight too tight but you do an ayahuasca journey in

Starting point is 01:11:08 your outfit right now or would you be like um this would be too tight it feels like free people this would be too tight but maybe like the pants and the but I have this like I have this this skims thing hello I love you um um um but it's like a blanket jacket it's like a it's like a a down like wrap blanket jacket I got I don't know if they still sell them and you tie it and it's like the most amazing it's like perfect for it because you can kind of make it a thing and but um there was a guy so I wore this like flowing dress that had like backless area. And, you know, at the end it kind of, we're like all dancing and stuff. And one, there's this Boston guy that I do it with, this older guy. And he's like busting my balls a little bit and was like, I'm trying to do

Starting point is 01:11:55 ayahuasca and you're, I got to deal with you dancing in that outfit or whatever. Like Jesus Christ. But he was being so funny about it. And then there was a Romanian guy that was there and he was like, yes, I am sexually deprived. And to see a woman like that is, and it was, he was being so funny about it. And then there was a Romanian guy that was there. And he was like, yes, I am sexually deprived. And to see a woman like that is... And he was being so crazy. I was like, whoa, Andrew Tate, chill. I was like, dude, I'm dressing because it's comfortable for me. It just was like nice for me.

Starting point is 01:12:16 And later I made a joke to like a group of the... Like it was men and women all outside. And I made some joke. I was like, you know, I really want to honor men. I like love men so much because you guys are so incredible. You're so fucking stupid, but also know everything. And it's like so incredible to be both of those things. And I was literally just kidding and everyone laughed. And then that Romanian guy was like, later came out to me. He's like, you said that thing about men. And I was like, what the hell?

Starting point is 01:12:43 But then by the end of it, he was like way different. Do about men and I was like what the hell but then by the end of it he was like way different do you know what I mean yeah that's interesting like he was like struggling with his like masculinity or whatever yeah I'm just wondering like but Bill Burr talks about when he took shrooms and like had an experience I feel like I just don't hear about it as much I feel I hear more about it from women and no there's a lot of guys crazy is that like I don't know because when i did the the ketamine it wasn't so much like an ego death i honestly genuinely thought i was like it was just death i felt like i was like passing away i was like i'm not gonna make it out of this yeah so how many do you know i just got my mind bloom and it's like i got how many i got nine

Starting point is 01:13:22 i got 950 milligrams i'm excited excited. That's about, yeah. But it's the intramuscular straight shot. I'm going to be going to space. Yeah. Yeah. Well, happy 2024, everyone. Hope it's going well already. Yes.

Starting point is 01:13:34 We are so happy to have another year with all of our sluggies. And we have a big live show coming up February 13th. We can't wait to see you at that here in LA. It's probably sold out by now, who knows? And yeah, we'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode.

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - New Year, Same Wenches - Ep 151

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