Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Oops, No Khalyla, Carlos Storms Off

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: Nutrafol - Go to https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code TRASH to save $15 off your first month’s subscription + free shippingLiquid I.V. - Get 25% off when you go to https://www.liquid-iv.com and use code TRASHTUESDAY at checkout Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Who’s in Khalyla’s Seat?3:25 Carlos’ Hair & Secret Eating Habits7:44 Dating on Raya & Being Awkward Around an Ex13:11 Carlos Coughed on Someone as a Joke and it Didn’t Go Well16:33 Attractive People That Have Both Masculine and Feminine Qualities18:54 When Carlos Went to Jail for Stealing26:46 Annie’s Temporary Fixes Instead of Plastic Surgery29:52 Dealing With Our Drunk Fans33:24 TikTok’s Terms of Service36:31 How Annie Makes Herself Feel Safe40:48 The NASA Story That Made Carlos Walk Off Set43:54 When Esther First Came to Los Angeles to Do Stand Up46:50 Nope Review & M. Night Shyamalan Movies51:24 Woman Sues Man for 10K After Being Stood Up on First Date58:05 Will Carlos Return? Stay Tuned Next Week! Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende

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Costco, or you can get 25% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use the code trash Tuesday. That's 25% off anything you order when you shop using promo code trash Tuesday at liquidiv.com. Hey, sluggies, we have a really insane roller coaster of an episode. We have a surprise sitting guest that let's just say the guest surprised us all right we don't know where he is right now no clue he's wandering the streets so tune in for the drama um i have been having such a fun time on the road i love meeting all of you guys it's like insane so much crazy things so many crazy things happening during the shows. It's incredible.

You can see me August 12th through 13th in Springfield, Missouri at the Blue Room Comedy Club. It's going to be amazing. I love that club. You can then see me in September. I'll be in Pittsburgh, Tempe, Arizona, La Jolla Comedy Store. I'll be at the Coluso Casino in California.

You guys, that is going to be so fun. Party with me at a casino. Please, God, that is so fun. Then later dates, I'll be in Kansas City, Irvine, San Jose, Michigan, and Florida. And you can go to andyletterman.com slash shows to get it. Also, please tune in to my Spotify live show every Monday at 5 p.m. PST, 8 p.m. Eastern. It's so fun. It's an interactive audio show where it's called Don't Bore Me with Annie Letterman.

It's your chance to entertain me. It's been so fun. And I can't wait to talk to you on there. Hi, you guys. I am coming back on the road. And you can get tickets at esteronice.com. I'm coming to Austin, Phoenix, Seattle, and Portland. I'm very excited for these shows.

They're going to be really special. And see you guys there. What's on your leg? Tattoo. Oh, yeah. Carlos got a tattoo. If it says Kalilah 2, I lose the show. I did not say Kalilah 2.

It's my last show. Oh, you got them. No, these are different. And I'm like, I'm having a crisis over spending a lot of money on sunglasses. But just don't do it next time. Okay. Okay. You just take time off.

Oh, okay. I don't always spend. Yeah, I don't always spend a lot of money. You know, you guys are going through a different thing right now because you're spending, spending, spending. And you've always been rich. No, I'm saying Esther is making the spending go down right now i'm well dave got a hold of what my credit card bills are how i told them and his reaction was really like

things are different dave's not like us he's really not. Dave's a different thing than us. Okay. I love your hair color right now. Thank you. It's like, it's fully Barbie. Well, I got, I'm doing a dolly thing, but Barbie I'll take. Oh, I love that.

I want to go blonde. Yeah. I mean, what on the top? I wanted to last year. We can use the mustache wax. No. Or the mustache bleach. I went. Oh my God. Can we bleach the tops of your hairs with mustache bleach what's that what is that they have

you never use jolie or jolene or whatever no it was this mustache bleach my mom and i this was our bonding when i was a kid we used to bleach our mustaches it was a nightmare i mean the sun hits it you look like fucking you got the ticket into willy wonka they were afraid to um the woman gave me a consultation for dyeing my hair last year and she's like your hair's already dead there's no diet wait you got a consultation yeah on fair facts i was like we went to a separate room i was nervous to take off my hat and she was like look we can obviously do this those were the days when he used to be nervous to take off his hat i miss those days have a little shame everyone wants me to shave it back no don't do it i can't i want to go no no shave no shave the sides but keep the pubes tall don't associate it with that the people who say

that have no idea what the three of us looks like five years ago wait do you have the picture of us at the 7-eleven it's no i'm thinking of even no we're all ugly no esther honestly we're hideous monsters we're hideous monsters it's true i will say to you i found i was looking at like i wanted to look at puppy randy so i was looking at old me inspirations you could have just went to your possibly the ugliest person I've ever met and it was not that long ago you looked like an ugly boy and it was so recent that it's crazy you've blossomed into a beautiful being like all of us were ugly I was ugly too but I was focused in on you

I was looking at my dog so when i looked at my side i was looking at a puppy so i didn't even see my own face and i looked at your side i was also looking at a dog i will admit you on me inspiration you looked good back in the day but you used to get mad at me like why are you putting makeup on like this is gonna stay on the internet forever wait oh i was ugly like i was definitely like a little pudgy whatever and then it changed i don't like what age what age did you get manorexic did you get teased for being fat or something yeah what happened to you by the way i ate a croissant and i was gonna bring it in so you could slap it out of my hand and i couldn't finish i kept eating it i finished that's okay

thanks for telling us because that that would have been keeping a secret if you ate i do know food secrets i don't have food secrets i'm not a food hider just croissant i used to be it's really scary my mom my dad said she found beers under my mom's bed once she was like a beer beer hider that's so funny just randomly my mom just got a little thing just king of the hill dude i like i stopped my my secret eating was obviously born out of like my chaotic household where like eating is shamed growing up. But I did notice. Not enough in my household. Not enough.

Yeah. Chubby people. One time I remember in me and Dave's first apartment like going into a different room to eat cookies. And I was like, this is. Is that what you do to buy clothes now? No. She's a sunglass hider. Wait, but Carlos, you were never someone that I was like,

Carlos has a weight issue. Like you were always normal. I never thought of your weight. It was very like, I'm not thin. I'm not fat. I'm just like pre-dad bod, I think. But because I'm 5'7", I almost said 5'8". Oh, we caught a lie

that's good boy um i just don't think it looks good i don't know i don't see how i got dates like after i got divorced i went on a lot of dates he would carl i could bring up like some of the hottest girls in our business and he'd be like she tried to bang me i wasn't in there i'm like where i wait really we i feel like i remember also can we just introduce annie's one of them this is this is the oops no kalilah episode this is like our throwback to when the three of us used to do podcasts together and no one watched and they were always bad but they know you're so full of shit they weren't bad you are such a they were no they know how dare you how dare you i'm gonna strike you i don't know how i got like on raya i got i went on on dates all the time and i'm just like how did this happen

that's weird i actually am on annie yeah i agree with both of you how did how did you get on raya what was your like benji benji aflalo sent me an invite and then i yeah when i first met todd when i first met todd he was complaining about how he couldn't get on raya then i had to drop him off at his shitty car i was like if i went on a date with a guy from raya and i showed up and this was his fucking car it was a station wagon Ford Focus tan colored. It had something happened to the seat. So there was like a t-shirt over it when he bought it.

So he never took the t-shirt off because he was afraid to see what was under the seat. Todd. Like a rat village. It was so disgusting. I was like, I would have burned Raya. I would have found Raya headquarters. No, lawsuit. I would have burned it to the ground.

What did he say? Guys, R uh stands for rich rich asshole young asshole ew that's not my friend karen that's pretty good camera goalist that's her joke never are you scared to talk shit on it because you might be there one day no no i just i have your spending you can do the just friends section esther now just friends is so what are you talking everything i hear about raya is so horrible that i have no interest like i think i would sooner go on tinder or bumble than riot because riot is like it seems like it's rich fucking loser guys and then like 12 year old girls

that they want to have sex with carl so you would crash oh yeah you would crash i used to see in 12 year olds wait actually you can go lesbian on there too really yeah is my lipstick all fucked up is there any no no okay wait do you know what is so cringe that the three of us did did a podcast talking about other podcasts we did we went on a walk and then we were all really hungry but only had 20 this was in the pandemic oh my god but we one of us only had one 20 bill and we like annie the rich money bags guys i always was destined to be rich and we had to like go sit down at a restaurant and be like so we only have 20 this was like a year ago yeah this was so recently we're like we only have 20 we're so sorry to be the we're in our 30s we promise some of us don't look that and we split kidnapped we all split we haven't sold into sex trafficking yet so we only

have 20 but it's like it really was like a junior high moment where like you only have a certain amount we got thai food too you definitely let me i was the alpha in that group and you guys didn't really want to let me know that but we went to 7-eleven we got thai food yeah it was so random you wouldn't have allowed thai food you wouldn't have wanted thai food i like thai food i think i wasn't as hungry as you guys and carlos i've noticed about him is he'll kind of eat anything if he's sharing it and it's a small yeah i'm big into sharing and that's carlos is like the only person on planet earth who i i will willingly share with because he takes so little but it's like it's like fake my ex from last year would complain about that a lot ex from last year in

the summer i dated a girl oh i remember that girl yeah yeah i was like didn't hear about her made up but i do remember she's not no i completely remember i remember she's real saying it like you're paid she said she saw me at the comedy store and didn't say anything and i was like you could have whatever but then she told you she saw you that's weird i understand if she never wants to talk to you again she's scared of you for some reason she's not scared of me it was like a fine breakup i was just saying she used to like why did she say hi if it was such a good breakup i don't know maybe she was just like awkward about it i would be awkward around an ex i guess sometimes i there's no one more awkward around

an ex than me one time i was at the i know i was at pot bellies the sandwich shop at a orchard mall and we know what it is and this guy that i dated in high school walked in and i literally did he think you were the pig the part that i did i saw him and i went like this drawing so much attention to yourself no it was way the worst thing did this break you collapse like permit it was the worst thing you could do is i dropped to the ground to hide and then i do want you to feel what it feels like to be like a fatso that breaks a chair you'll never have that and i want you to have that can we rig her chair at some point so she feels so i want you to feel every human emotion everything that is like i will become a lawyer to sue to handle the case myself

i could imagine you in class making carlos do your homework she would not pass. I was a bad student. I know you're barely passing at this point. Tell me about your tattoo. It looks like chicken cutlet material on his neck. Well, you got to. It's like protected right now.

Is that Texas or something? It's Texas upside down. It's like drawing attention to your leg. Yeah. Texas upside down. Because Texas is upside down. Are you like Texasxas is being crazy no some people thought that and i was like no i like it now who are these some people bobby

or no like or santino like who else do you like random bad friends and trash tuesday fans that will reply to the instagram story i put up with a fucking tattoo. Why are you cursing at me? See, this is what people are saying. Carlos has a temper. He's evil. They think we're mean to him. I know. He deserves every second of this. He's like a...

Yeah, he's caused a lot of trouble in our lives. I've not caused trouble in your life. No, you're allowed to fight back. But you do have a little bit of a... Remember when he coughed on that other friend? Oh, yeah. I thought... It was like... I couldn't... Esther on that other friend? Oh, yeah. I thought it was like...

It was like I couldn't... Esther, tell the story. Okay. Okay, this is bad. Because the Statue of Limitations aren't out for five more years, but we can say it. So it was literally peak COVID, like a month in, not even, like just really bad COVID times. April 19th. You're not even barely going to the grocery store or whatever.

I mean, this is what we all thought, like if you walked outside, you would immediately fall to your death. April 19th. You're not even barely going to the grocery store or whatever. I mean, this is when we all thought like if you walked outside you would immediately fall to your death. Yeah, truly. Like you saw your ex-boyfriend.

And so, and it was like when, you know, when people's birthdays were happening and it was sad and you didn't know

what to do. So it was one of our friends' birthdays. It was Sandy's birthday. And so we all decided. No, it was my birthday. It was your birthday yeah that's why

you guys came i know how annoying to get mad at someone on their birthday for coughing covid into their face okay so it was carlos's birthday and three of us decided to like separately drive and like just get be in our cars and be like happy birthday carlos which is so lame by the way and like did you even enjoy that we did a drive by birthday like a covid birthday for carla well i was annoyed because there's so much honking in the alley and i was like what the fuck is going on oh yeah it was a surprise i went on twitter and like typed in like melrose labrea alley like i wanted to get the details on this new crime happening and i go outside and it's you i forgot it was like a prank birthday okay so then

did we egg his house we should have thrown eggs at him we should have thrown eggs at him when he came out hit him in the head so then carlos comes out and he's like but he's like kind of happy but just carlos was relapsing on weed at that point for the beginning it was the beginning that's when i relapsed on drinking oh it was so annoying but you have spritzers yeah oh yeah the random he did in the most annoying way wait what do you mean you were always that it was so annoying but you have spritzers yeah oh yeah the random he did it in this annoying way wait what do you mean you were always that i was in like a little can it was always like a oh because i like the seltzers yeah it was always like a like a light yeah imagine seeing your friend who's been in a for 10 years and all of a sudden he's drinking like a low

during a pandemic where everyone's kind of dying weird things are happening i'm just like is he is i'm like calling all of our mutual friends. I'm like, is Carlos? You did? Well, I called Benji. Yeah, and we talked about it. There was four friends. Okay, three of them are here.

Three of them are here. Carlos is included. But anyway, so then Carlos comes out, sees us, and then goes into one of our other friends' cars and coughs all over him. Like into him. Like not like I accidentally coughed. Like as a joke, coughed in his face. Just because he's such a baby. I'm glad you did it.

Honestly, looking back, I stand by it. He was like trying to go to the emergency room. Can I tell you? You wanted to sue me. You exploded my whole universe in that moment. Like my whole world stopped for weeks. You gave me the strength to block that person from my life forever. Wow. Well well we were all such a squad and then it just like burned it all to

the ground and yeah like you were threat being threatened the police legal action like good i i was in trouble because i associate with you oh yeah no we all got in trouble we all got a screaming he's big into um if you associate with someone they don't like they're mad at you i do not like that no one fucking bit you have a different relationship with each person you have it's so selfish like someone can do bad things to me and i do not care if someone else hangs out with right in here oh my god he can't help himself did you see how he looked at me wait how'd i look at you you were like oh wait is that like gay or seductive you were like into it

wow you being attracted to me does not make you less gay i am a very masculine force i am a i i have been the last vagina for many men their last hope have you heard that like the most attractive on tiktok let me guess where'd you get where's your source what's your source is it tiktok maybe the most attractive people have like both masculine and feminine qualities like you have to have like so i've never like heard that but I definitely agree with that because I always accidentally will swipe right on a trans person and then I'll go back and I'll be like, wait a second. I think they were trans and I'll be right. And I'm like, maybe the attraction is somewhere in the middle.

I think for so many people, trans porn, I think is quite a popular. Well, I don't look at trans porn. I'm just saying there are people in L.A. But is there something that you like about like a strong show? Obviously, like strong shoulders. Wait, why? Obviously, because Kalilah sits in that seat with very strong shoulders. My first girlfriend in L.A.

had strong shoulders. Wouldn't you like big tits, strong shoulders? Because one of my friends made fun of me for it at Swingers. I was like, why are you being mean to Hillary? So why was the place we went to called swingers i love that place swingers is a i just want to like swingers is like a it's kind of an all-inclusive type of diner that stayed open long because you could get like they had vegan options they had well also i like swingers is an iconic la staple it's like the especially not now as much but i'm open to bringing it back but like i feel like the last like 20 years or whatever it was just like the coolest iconic la

spot is it named after the movie swingers i don't know or like is there some kind of association i've never i don't know but you're right like they have this thing on the menu called the grown-up grilled cheese and it's like a healthy grilled cheese with like bean sprouts. It's good. And like they have all these really great menu options. And you go late after shows. Everyone would go there. You'd always be in a booth next to like Drew Carey.

Drew Carey was always next to you. Oh, yes. He's always next to you. You have to be careful who you're talking shit on because Drew Carey is listening. Like you would see celebrities are the waitresses are so cool. Everyone was hot. And cute. And it's just like a very quintessential L.A. experience. I had such a crush on one. Oh. Like you would see celebrities are the waitresses are so cool and cute.

And it's just like a very quintessential LA experience. I had such a crush on one. Oh, tyranny. Every guy. She got me out of jail. What? When I went to jail for the day. Do you? In 2008.

No, I stole something and it was grand theft. He's so rich. What? That's how rich he is. I went to jail. Shoplifting. I went to jail. Shoplifting.

You're a criminal? I went to jail two years ago, remember? What did you shoplift? This is so humiliating. You do not feel the shame you're supposed to feel for this, I'm about to make you feel it. What did you steal, rich man? Rich white man?

I had an SUV. You're so lucky you're bald. You do need something going against you. It was right next to Swingers actually at this furniture store called DWR. And I tried to steal something outside and put it into my SUV. What was it you were stealing? It was like a nice chair or something. You were stealing a chair?

It was like a high-end chair. You went to prison for it. No, I only went for like six hours. I mean, I could see like a lip gloss from Sephora. I thought it was going to be. I had an SUV. I didn't think it was going to be Sephora related for some reason, even though he's a guy that doesn't wear makeup. I was if anyone shopped up it's from sephora right caper lance

i was like it's a right as a human being to steal from sephora today's podcast is brought to you by neutrophil you can grow thicker healthier hair and support our show by going to neutrophil.com slash trash to save 15 off your first month subscription. This is their best offer anywhere and is only available to US customers for a limited time plus free shipping on every order. Get $15 off at Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com slash trash and all three of us ladies love Nutrafol. I mean Kalilah's hair is so thick that you can't even see her right now she's hidden in it no i it is unbelievable how thick my hair is i'm like freaking out about it neutrophil because i knew it was like doing something but i'm getting to the point i can't

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at mintmobile.com slash Tuesdayuesday cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash tuesday 45 up front payment required equivalent to 15 a month new customers on first three month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details uh your legs look hot is it skim shirt no we're both doing the naked we both have like short shorts and i like esther's covering and i'm just these were short these are short shorts on a regular size person but wait so why are you like you're like double fisting your vagina i'm like so excited like are you cupping your vagina no No. Your venous mound? You're allowed to come in here and see where it is. Investigate and see how innocent this is.

It's tucked under the leg, the thigh. But I know how long your labia is, so I know you're touching vagina. Your side pipe. Stop her, someone. Let's go back to swingers. Wait, before we go back to swingers, can I just say, you didn't know this happened? Last time we recorded, he just walked in

to the bathroom when I was in there. He saw me go in and then just walked in. I didn't see you go in and walk in. Carlos has just this weird entitlement to just be where I am. He just walked in like it was so normal. And then you were there for a beat before you realized it was wrong. Both of us of us were i i also was kind of like what i had to do

i like took a shit in the sink should we file a formal report with bryce against yeah yes carlos is out um we just find another guy with carlos's balding pattern it's that guy for it's um the guy what's the um stephen wright that's the comedian steve roberts says i just flew in and my arms are so tired i can't we know like the origin of that yeah do the black and the black yeah that was his the black and white there we go he's the only one that could take your place. See, that's a look. Like, nobody told him to shave, right? Who else has it? Well, he did kind of. His character was like, I'm a crazy person.

What's his name? The Greek comedian. Yeah, but. Oh, he does grow it out a little. But he's kind of like really bald on top. I did a podcast with him once. He's so funny and so awesome. Stephen Wright?

He's so amazing. Is he alive? Mm-hmm. He looks like in the hat up there. No. I was about to say he's kind of hot but i'm like if he's still alive i don't want to put that does everyone just morph into looking like jeff ross like every comedian just like grows into jeff ross with different hair why do i feel

like i look like jeff ross too you will oh by the way i realized what my mission is now i want everyone if they want to get plastic surgery and if they want to get like worked under their face, I want them to do it. Okay. But now that I've really started exploring contouring and stuffing and padding my bra, I really like the idea of giving yourself

like a temporary boob job, a temporary nose job, temporary like everything. Temporary tattoo. Is that temporary? These are not temporary they're really not kalilah will be not talking to you by the time that wears off like she will never be taking your calls again and that's fine you you don't think i'm ready and willing for that i've been i don't want to be rude i have been manifesting it i i don't i just the idea of you

her hating you and never wanting to speak to you and you having to look at her name every day is so delicious. It will never bother me. Wait, what is, so temporary? I want to start doing like how to give yourself a boob job, how to give yourself, because then you get to just have your regular body on the other days. Like I will, ever since the Pamela Anderson episode, ever since we did the Baywatch episode, I just, every three days will just give myself like

the biggest fakest hits okay the thing that's weird with you is that you look very good and you haven't had any work done and it's and and it's not even like you live like an easy lifestyle it's like you're like a maniac out there was that like what was that an asshole i was eating you're just like out there living life talking and like but you look very good i don't know what i think i'm happy i think it's i'm glowing from the inside i'm happy and contour i'm telling you like what you use tiktok for is very different but i do feel like you you're you're a woman that has like masculine touches and you're a man with feminine touches and you're a boy that's a girl um your slenderness slender man

my dieting your dieting is very feminine i'm nervous that i'll lose my butt though from dieting what what do you think annie do you guys are you planning on losing more weight no i'm just afraid that it'll go away wait should carlos get a bbl a brazilian butt lift he can i don't need it i can start looking into this on tiktok and i can find a way to give him a temporary oh yeah that's right i just like the I don't like how permanent work is that people are getting. And it's also expensive and not safe. Like people get hurt. Or like people like similar to Kalilah.

Like I have a girlfriend who got breast implants and she said like it just made her whole body inflamed for like a year. It's scary. Yeah. I like they are cute though. They do look great. I'm whatever about them. Really? Yeah. You're a power

bottom I swear that's what I heard that is not what you heard I said I'm whatever about them wow I did not hear that you hear what you want to hear but yeah by the way last night I never comment on what an audience is like i never

care it's never a thing but last night like there was a girl who was very i'm just gonna assume drunk very excited to be there and it's it was such a weird experience annie like have you had this where they the they're your fan but they're disrupting the whole show yes every show what do you do you rile them up because it's like i'm so used yeah i fucking stuffed their mouth with bread you don't remember that story i stuffed the bitches you you fuck with them here's the thing any shows sound fun they sound like a whole fan experience. They are actually so fucking fun. A fan experience. They are.

They're almost interactive. Don't actually heckle on purpose. Wait, we should buy tickets, me and you. Full price VIP. Yeah, there's no VIP charge unless it's you two. But like, I'm so used to the experience of like- People respecting you? No, way worse than that.

Silently watching and wondering when there's a heckler it's like someone who like doesn't know who you are and they fucking hate you and then you hate them and it's like this hateful war but if it's someone who's like actually like is your fan you're I never get mad because it's like I'm always like

it's so I always say I go it's so annoying because like you're being so nice. Like, thank you. I know, but shut the fuck up. Like, I just have ADD. So it's like, you guys are going to, I can't, this is going to be hard. But sometimes I've just made the show all about one person, which I hope the rest of the audience likes.

I, I will say I'm becoming more and more into that version of things. Cause I do realize like people do like the live experience and like i think things that go wrong or like if i was in the audience i would like that my favorite esther mad on stage moment because it's very rare oh god there's no it's so they're always bad what i'm no this was great at the comedy store there's a waitress who's been working there since probably 1920. Like, honestly, it's like she built the place. Like, let's just say she knew Mitzi.

And personally, like, she's just been there so long. She just happens to be like, you know when deaf people scream? Like, so unaware. Like, the loudest person you've ever met. And she's a waitress, so she's in a comedy club. She was being so loud. Esther goes, I'm sorry, can you shut the fuck and she's a waitress so she's in a comedy club she was being so loud esther goes i'm sorry can you shut the fuck up to the waitress and it was so good because she's always like the loudest you're like i can't even think it was good i don't feel like i'm pulling

off the story that well but it was amazing i i do remember that and then i found out it was a waitress and i was horrified oh really yeah no she should know better than anyone else no it was very loud it was and loud. It was. And it's like things. Now I'm a little more chill. Things go wrong. You just kind of let it go. But there is a weed edible.

She'll open her mouth. Broden. There's a fee. There was like a period of time, though, where it's like you. I know that, you know, I'm talking about like you waited all day for the stage time that that was like all you've put in. It was it's so valuable and important to you and then like things throw it off and you're just like what but now i know that's just what happens that's life but like there was a point in time where that would really upset me no especially when you think because i think you were prepping for your special then

yes i was yeah when you're like you have like a mission and it's just it's it's honestly our fault if we go in thinking that we're gonna be able to have like full control you're right it is our job to like maintain some control over the audience but there's only so much you can do you're totally right it's up it's our it's my responsibility rogan reviews tiktok's crazy terms of service yesterday it's actually insane i one thing i'm i'm gonna predict one thing I know is that like if you show a vape in your TikTok video they take it down is it oh really yeah like you can but I guess this is more what we're agreeing to give away or something oh okay okay let's see is it good or bad bad it's so what you're saying it's a bad place to be listen this this is uh from TikTok's privacy policy. All right. It said, we collect certain information about the device you use to access the platform,

such as your IP address, user region. This is really crazy. User agent, mobile carrier, time zone settings, identifiers for advertising purpose, model of your device, the device system, network type, device IDs, your screen resolution and operating system, app and file names and types. So all your apps and all your file names, all the things you have filed away on your phone, they have access to that. File names and types.

Keystroke patterns or rhythms. So they're monitoring your keystrokes, which means they know every fucking thing you type. Wow. Battery state, audio settings, and connected audio devices where you log in from multiple devices. You'll be able to use your profile information to identify your activity across devices. We may also associate you with information collected from devices other than those you use to log into the platform. Meaning they can use other computers that you're not even using to log into TikTok. They can suck the data off that.

That's what you're agreeing to when you download and start using tiktok do you that's wild it's insane my question would be do you well okay i feel like they was about to go my question is what is an ip address and i would love to hear that answer because i also don't know well what i'll say is like i feel like i've i try to be one of those people that's like resigned to like they have it all. That seems excessive though for the first time for me. We're not going to get Esther off TikTok. No.

Well, no. Of course not. Esther, have you ever said the term TikTok is life? No. Has anyone felt it? Yeah. How'd you know? Are you working at TikTok and know my thoughts?

I know everything. Are you Chinese? No, but like i just i feel like there's those people that become obsessed with i have to be hiding and i have my freedom and my privacy and by the way i respect that like i want my freedom and privacy too but i've also just given up it's like no one what it's like who cares too lazy to like yeah right like what it's just gonna be like how much more time do i have on the earth anyway you It's like too lazy to fight it. Yeah, right? How much more time do I have on the earth anyway?

The only real privacy you have. Even if I live to 100, it's not that many years. You think you're going to live to 100? I said even if I did. I will live very old though. You know what? I never get scared of like. I think so too for me.

This is what I do. My protection I've decided because I've worked a lot through my ptsd just from crazy shit that's happened to me or whatever so when i'm in like a ptsd flare-up which happened to me in one of my relationships where i was just like so i kept feeling thinking i was gonna get robbed i had like a stalker in my building it was like so scary and i just kept i was so like i was weapons everywhere i've just had so many weird times where i've had to like be armed it's just like scary like my whole life i was not that i'm saying like i still have a gun i have like weapons and stuff but i just was in this like i felt so like you i felt the thinness of the walls do you know what i mean like i felt like i could get robbed at any time like i was just like feeling like really kind of exposed and I couldn't there's nothing I can do to not once you're in the place

where you're noticing that you're kind of like vulnerable it's really like nothing you can do we just all are vulnerable in life we have no control over the outside world we only have control of ourselves so I decided that I have to do it rather than thinking of it physically I have to think about it more like emotionally and like vibration level so I just always imagine myself having this wonderful amazing life as just an a super fun crazy old lady I love this and then I never I don't get scared like when I'm in fear I just think that I'm like no bitch you're not taking my like you already know the path you're not taking my... You already know the path. You're just stepping into it. The movie's already written, and I'm just living in it now. No, I really...

I feel like you almost got... I took Lexapro so that I could have that. I am there. I'm there now, but I never would have gotten there without anti-anxiety medication. My cousin is a SWAT team in Southern... he's a SWAT team member in Southern California. He's the whole team. He is a SWAT team. Can you believe they tried to SWAT him out of the womb and he still lived?

Remember that? Yeah, and he kind of like made me feel better and worse at the same time. He's like, there is not much you can do. It's like you have whatever weapons you can do it's like you know you have whatever weapons you want to have to protect you but like if people want whatever why i don't want to talk about this no but it's like if you're tense and scared you're like living in that like do you notice how every and this is not victim shaming obviously these are all horrible things but when i used to watch true crime i would always notice they always would be like she loved dateline do you know what i mean it's like this is oh that's a

theory i feel like you have that i don't know if i agree with because i've i listened to so much of that i used to and i know we both were on some sick little kicks i why during the pandemic was that the thing we were doing for me it was before the pandemic I think was it although one time oh my god so I one time I showed Dave like a 2020 about like this like big story that was really scary

and he cannot handle that shit he was like I feel like he was gonna break up with me he was like I can't believe you have that thought a lot it was just from 2020 yeah no 2020 no they're dark no I know but like with me he was like i can't believe you have that thought a lot it was just from 2020 yeah no they're dark no i know but like it's tvpg it is weird that that is considered tvpg just like hardcore murders they show like blood on things and stuff like why is that like allowed to be on

tv i watched the one where all those girls were trapped in that house oh by like palm springs oh my god and like one of the girls was like kind of pretty a birthday party i went to once wait i know i'm like that sounds fun no that's just like finally a sleepover it's a lock-in and just things go wrong and then it's just you it's bad you're the murderer it's just you and that pete davidson movie you're the killer after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan i thought where's the catch but after talking to them it all made sense there isn't one mint mobile's secret

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On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details who do who here is the most likely to have people trapped in their basement i know it's me yeah it's obviously you okay carlos who is confident wearing that haircut he's hiding something he's distracting i'm so chill i wouldn't murder anyone i would shoot no we didn't say murdered we'd say that trapped down there wait what was the nasa story that you pulled up nasa scientist explains why astronauts should not masturbate in zero gravity wait why does it go back inside yeah the sperm like finds its way apparently like it's like very so pre-squirting i could masturbate yeah wait what happens well in zero gravity the sperm

like just like floats around and it's a hazard it's like a health hazard did you read this or you're guessing i'm reddit well you're not telling us what i know you're doing it's right there too well i'm not reading i can't read and also that's far away i'll read it everyone i forgot we have people here saved your ass just now carlos no and also pete's in the carlos chair doing a better job than carlos has ever done the kalilah chair pete thank you you're welcome okay so astronauts is that your final answer he's mad at me the only one who respects us so you can get uh impregnated by straight fluids it's basically that was gonna be my guess and that's not what he said i know that's not what you said i say you said it's a health hazard around no i was gonna say that would just get sucked into our wombs it would just be

floating if i said oh yeah sperm floats around it can get into your vagina you'd be like did you read it dear audience what you are seeing today is a dramatized performance everyone here takes their job seriously it's a reenactment this was a re these are not real people these are actors maybe a banana break i'm about to walk off this show oh my god if carlos walks i will be so happy I'm about to walk off this show. Oh my God. If Carlos walks, I will be so happy.

Carlos, you stay put, okay? No, I'm about to walk off. This is so stupid. Because he needs... He's such a rich kid. Isn't he being such a rich kid? Why? So I don't need a fucking banana from Erewhon? You weren't going to eat it.

Oh, do you want to try to get it in your mouth? No. No, no, no. Why did you open your mouth? I thought you were going to throw it at my mouth. I think you wanted a kiss. Y'all are so dumb. Don't.

Do you want to go take like five? Do you want to take a walk? Yeah, I'm going to take five. Okay. Take a Carlos walk. Do you want your banana? Are you going to eat it? Do you eat bananas?

He's not being serious. I don't know what's going on. All we wanted was you to read us the story. I think it's you and me together. Is he leaving? Your bag's unzipped. Your bag's unzipped! Got it. Your bag's unzipped. Got it.

Are you worried about like, are you mad at him? Are you worried? I'm like somewhere in the middle. I'm like, I can't tell. I'm like, I want to be like,

what? Are you okay? This is like some Andy Kaufman shit. Like, I don't know. I'm like, wait, is this a bit or is this? That's the thing.

Of course, he's always like at the smile and he doesn't know when he's yelling he's like i'm not yelling at you and you're like you are but um how did you get into the comedy store when you first like did you when you showed up to la did you come to be an actress or a comedian no i knew i wanted to do stand-up and i was at a it was literally the day i got here and I went out to a bar and I was like goofing off with my friend that I was gonna stay with and like being I was being like really goofy because I was like so happy and excited yeah you're like manic for yeah just got to this town and the woman who owned the bar was like you're really funny you should do stand-up comedy and i was like i literally just moved here to do that but i have no idea how or what or where did she card you at

any point was she like who let this child i don't remember she did but i was i was exactly 21 and she was like yeah and she was like oh well i just know about the comedy store she's like that's where i go to watch shows and then i just like the next day called and was like how do I and I like brought in a resume and they never hired me but oh you were gonna be a door girl no there was no such thing as a door girl then it was like girls could only be a waitress and you can't want to do comedy if you're a waitress right yeah I think they were not into that as much and yeah they wouldn't hire me that's so funny how recently it was just like totally sexist like not that long ago i know like i always think about that like when you and i started in stand-up it was very not the way it is now and i just don't even like i choose to not ever acknowledge the sexism because it's too annoying yeah i try and it's not funny to be like no sexist yeah but it's like oh yeah things were

bad and also the way like the men creepy men in the comedy store treated thought it was okay to treat women literally there was a there are groups of men actively like hating the women that came there and didn't want them to be there and would like bully them so they'd leave i know and it i was like but the thing is that happened right before i came i know what crew you're talking about i think yeah and i did see one guy there was one guy that used to like really like to piss women off in the audience and i remember one time he said something to this girl and she threw a glass shattered this glass down on him did you ever have an outburst at the comedy store because i once threw a drink in a guy's face there i had the guy i think i told you about the guy you were on stage and threw a drink in a guy's face there. I had the guy. I think I told you about the guy. You were on stage and threw a drink at him?

Yeah. I came off stage and I forgot what he said, but it was really so like way too rude. And I didn't know him. It was like when we were doing the late night shows and it was like all comedy people in the room. So like I knew everybody, but then some guy I didn't know said something really degrading to me. And I was, you you know fucking 21. I just walked off stage grabbed it someone else's half drunk drink and threw it in his face

That's so but did you have to pay for the person's drink? No, but then I ended up dating that guy a year later that you threw the drink in. Yeah It's very weird Is it weird or? Maybe this is carlos's big move on you Like in a year she's's going to love me. Did you see Note? No, did you?

It was so good. Really? I loved it. Did you guys see it? No, I haven't seen it. Because some people don't like it. And here's what I decided when I was watching the movie. I'm not going to worry about plot holes.

I'm not going to worry about if things don't really make sense. I'm just going to be like, am I enjoying every scene? And every fucking scene was good. That's how I like to watch movies too. His last movie, Us, was one of my favorite movies I've ever seen in my life. Like, it's so good. I loved Us. Because I didn't see Us.

And then I was like getting worried. I was like, what if he's like an M. Night Shyamalan? Where even though M. Night Shyamalan's movies are awesome, it's just like he had that one really good one. But this is a certified genius. Oh, totally. I mean, it is so fucking good. I also think M. Night Shyamalan is like certified.

He's still so good. Yeah, he's still so good. But it's just like none of them had as good of a hit as like. The Sixth Sense. The Sixth Sense. The. Signs. Signs I really liked.

So you're just naming two already that are amazing. No, I know I'm asking for too much. But, you know. Signs was like somehow I look back on that and that's the most terrified I've ever been in a theater and I because you're Jewish and um Mel Gibson wasn't it and he denies your heritage as someone that's given I felt terrified too but it's as someone has given blowjobs in a hot tub before i knew he's gonna scream at me do you remember that what's crazy is i like are you i think you might be right it was like did he get busted for the anti-semitic stuff like a couple years after signs i feel like it was i don't know

must have been because i think the only thing he did after that was like joke movies where they were using him as like the charlie sheen but i do want to say that i agree with you very like hugely on am i enjoying the movie or not because i feel like i know people dave it's like he's he is focused like it's the story right is it good and all that which is that's its own thing but i'm like i just want to have fun while i'm watching it journey not the destination yes and because we've all been on sets of movies and stuff before, and Dave is a writer, so it's like hard for him to not look at it as like a writer.

Right. But when a movie is like, if I'm not thinking about that, then that's how good the movie is. Yes. There were just so many like scenes. Like I just think of it like the storyboard of it. And I'm like, it's like so good. If you're sucked into a world, like that's,

you got your money's worth. It's just so, it just was so fun. But Todd was like, I don't like the, I'm like, Todd, we're being nonsense here. This was good. We went and saw it. It was the first time I'd done D-Box. What's that? It's like the seats that vibrate like with the movie.

And there's all this horseback riding and stuff. So you're like, they're like clomping around. It's so fun. Wait, that's crazy. Did you see Elvis? I haven't seen it yet. Was it good? It's so good. But it's a you see elvis i haven't seen it yet was it good it's so good but it's a musical right i don't think it they don't like break into song in the middle

of conversation there's just some little musical like you see him performing okay that i'm fine no no no it's not i feel betrayed like when i went to dream girls and they just started like they're just like hanging out and like the office. We're your dream girls. Carlos could have been a part of that. His dream. This was his dream. Carlos blew his whole dream. He starts doing open mics again.

I'm like so nervous as to what I'm like. Well, I want to get to the bottom of why you're nervous. Because I just feel responsible for him. Like I feel like. Because you're the one that introduced him to everyone. i just feel responsible for him like i feel like because you're the one that introduced him to everyone maybe yeah i'm like i'm like is he okay is he what's he going through are you worried about his emotional things or how what he's doing is gonna fall on you it's okay to i don't know i really don't know. I really don't know. Are you like worried you're going to get like fat? Like you're not going to have someone to help you with your calories anywhere?

Or you're like, oh no, I had a good thing going. He blew it. You are. This was great. Well, it works. I think this is how he feels. That it's nothing. Yeah.

You're right. It's actually my codependence like most like i feel like a healthy person would be like all right move on he like slammed the door to make a point like he's doing a bit i really do believe that he should be punished for the bit oh yeah when kalilah comes back she should administer the punishment no i think a boss should administer i think he should actually get in trouble but we can also whip him on camera but he would like that i don't know what he will like and dislike he is a weird guy he's a weird guy he switches it's like does anyone know the real carlos all right let's let's start by uh let's watch this video. Someone just got sued for $10,000 for standing somebody up on a first date. Oh my God, I'd be rich.

Some people you know would owe me money. A court case near Detroit sounds like a romantic comedy gone wrong. Yeah, a woman sues a man for thousands of dollars after he stood her up on a date. Fox's Jessica Dupnak has the details. I feel for the defendant. I mean, you know, like I said, he should have swiped left. Too late now for Richard Jordan, who's being sued for $10,000 after he allegedly didn't show up for a date with Kashante Short back in 2020 in Flint. She says he caused emotional distress because the date fell on her late mom's birthday. Mr. Jordan, let me just ask you this. Are you planning to represent yourself on this? To be honest with you, sir, I thought this was just going to be thrown out.

We had a date. That's such a... She thought he wasn't going to show up to the court date and she was going to win. Todd, you've been doing this a minute. I love this guy. Look at his outfit. If I've seen something like this, I've seen someone go to jail. Defense attorney Todd Perkins wasn't in on this hearing, but says the judge has the patience of a saint as Ms. Short tried schooling him on everything during this recent Zoom hearing. Do not insult my intelligence as if I do not

understand what the word perjury means. Be quiet while I'm talking. You need to be quiet. Like several other of Ms. Short's bizarre lawsuits lawsuits this one too got booted from district oh my god she's esther alleged bad date guy lawsuit girl you know i have some good dates off of his i have thoughts which is like why say you're gonna show up if you're not gonna fucking show up you deserve to be on her side why say you're gonna go on the date this should be happening to set an example just say you're not going say no don't make the plan why make the plan no it's annoying to be stood up but also why did you make a date on your late mom's birthday if you're in such distress you needed that dick so bad also you're in flint michigan you guys have bigger issues

you gotta get your water i think they have that fix do they have a fix i really hope so i love that you took the do you not take her like you suing him but haven't you ever been stood up and been like why is this allowed yeah and then you know what i feel i go like oh that hurt my feelings and then i like get over it it's not a big deal that's's one choice. I'm sorry. If someone doesn't show up on a date and it causes you $10,000 worth of distress, like you have work on yourself. You must do.

Okay. I think the number is hard. That's definitely a hard area. What do you think? What do you think she should have sued for? A thousand? I think it's like, yeah, I think it's like enough to, so that I would have enough money to like have an awesome night to replace the trauma of that night.

A thousand would be great. I could like do some online shopping, get high on edibles, order a lot of Postmates. Like a thousand dollars would be enough. But I think. Wait, can we do a thousand dollar challenge when we ever do a live show? Yes. Well, it's got to be money we've made off of an extra event with Trash Tuesday. OK.

OK. show listen well it's got to be money we've made off of an extra event with trash tuesday okay okay we take each other on a thousand a thousand dollar night each or maybe we can do we just spend a thousand dollars between us yeah like what could we do with a thousand bucks well i think the most obvious first thought that we should do is like go yes oh yeah duh but like go to one of those really fancy fancy sushi like omakase things that i'm always too scared and too cheap to do that things you're afraid of her wow i love that one i think she's setting a precedent that we should fight back if people want to stand us up don't guy be like i thought this would be thrown

out was so he was so it was like i'm so sorry like is this a prank like he's literally like waiting for like a clown to run in that the delivery of that line his feelings i felt that man and i associated with him more not that i don't think i've ever stood anyone up if i stood someone up it's oh when i was babysitting once this is fucked up actually i was a babysitter i was like 14 i stood this family up accidentally just completely flaked on it just ad style forgot i had to babysit for them and i felt so bad i was like i will babysit for you for free because they had some plans that they couldn't go and i felt so bad it was like they were yelling at my mom i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i like, I will make this up to you.

Like, I will babysit for you for free. I fucked up and I missed that one too. And that was like a subconscious thing. Like, that was like,

isn't that crazy? I was at the movies and my mom, like, we didn't have cell phones or anything. So I'm trying, I'm supposed to get

unpaged by my mom. And I called, she goes, you fucking forgot again. I was like, oh my God. And it's more, it's worse for my mom. I'm just to get unpauged by my mom. And I called, she goes, you fucking forgot again. I was like, oh my God. And it's more, it's worse for my mom. I'm just a kid.

They were looking at my mom like, you dumb bitch. Like you offered your kid to be our babysitter. It was like a neighbor. We just saw in the neighborhood. We just see him at the park. And then I did, I don't know if I, it was, it must've been after I babysat for them. Cause I remember I did actually babysit for the kid once. And I was trying to be like the cool babysitter. I gave him like skittles.

Like he wasn't supposed to have skittles until he like finished his meal. And I was like, you can just have skittles. Your parents aren't here. And he was like, I don't like that. He like didn't want to like, I was like, okay, good job, kid. He's like you trashy whore.

No, honestly, it was like, maybe that's why I fucking subconsciously, I don't want to hang out with this nerd. I'm trying to hang out with a kid that'll eat nerds. Come on. I thought I was like being the cool, like it was, it was just Skittles. It's not like I was like, let's smoke weed, little kid. I was like, you can have the Skittles.

You don't have to finish your dinner. He was like, that's not the rules. Oh my God. And then I subconsciously blocked ever going back there again. That's a thing. It's because it's like, if something. If you do it twice, it's, there's ever going back there again. That's a thing. It's because it's like if something. If you do it twice, there's something going on. Right.

It's like your brain doesn't want, secretly doesn't want you to go. Yeah. It's something deep within. Yeah. It feels like a psychological thing I wanted to say. Regardless, both people in that court case are major stars. And like they need to be on, they need more camera time. And I don't know if that was the

goal because she did look cute yeah he was just like he was they he was in the shadows he was like look those two on a reality show trying to make a relationship work it's like you and carlos after this week will we ever see carlos again guys guys? Comment down in the comments. I don't know what happened. I'm like, hopefully this is a planted bit that I'm not aware of. I can't wait to see the tapes back because he is wrong. I know. And we're going to see the point where he realized he was wrong

and there was no point of return where he had to lash out. I'm very excited. It's kind of like giving emotional abuse vibes. It's so funny. We watched back and were like horrible to him. Yeah, but you know, the truth is we are, you know, in front of the camera. So we do still win, Carlos. I'm sorry.

Oh, God. You guys, we'll be back next week with a brand new episode of this show. Some way, somehow. We need you to send a video in of why you should replace Carlos and what you will do for our show that will make it so much better than Miss Carlito. We love you guys.

We love you so much. Thank you for going through this emotional rollercoaster. I don't know who will be here next week and who will not be. I promise you it won't be me, I'm out. I've had my last banana.