Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Our Hall Passes and Meghan Markle Listens to Our Show

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors: Manscaped - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code Bloodbath at https://www.manscaped.com BlueChew - Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code BATHGIRLS at checkout--just pay $5 shipping at https://go.bluechew.com/bloodbath Apostrophe - Get $15 off your first visit with a board-certified dermatologist at https://www.apostrophe.com/BATHGIRLS and use our code: BATHGIRLS Subscribe to our YouTube! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPod Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudio Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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You guys, the rumors are true. Annie, what's going on? Esther and I are dating. No, not anymore. We just broke up. Esther and I broke up because we're so excited about our new name. It's Trash Tuesday. Trash Tuesday, baby. Welcome to the garbage. We feel like every week now you'll know that on Tuesdays, there'll be a little pile of trash waiting for you. When you smell that rot, it is not crotch.

It is actually us. Entertaining you. Talking about very vile things. Just the flies swimming around us. They do fly. They do not swim. But you know what I mean. So please find us on iTunes and rate us and review us.

Now is the time. More important than ever. We're relaunching with our new name. And we want everyone to know that we're the Trash Use Tuesday around. So find us on iTunes. Rate. Review. Right find us on iTunes. Rate, review. Right, Annie? Yes.

And remember, we will see you next Tuesday. Trash Tuesday. Next Trash Tuesday. Next Trash Tuesday. We will see you next Trash Tuesday. I just want to say that there has never been a more fitting name for three disgusting garbage bags. Old sperms. We're're little.

And the people listening are the slugs in the garbage with us. And your trash bags. Honestly, you're just trash bags. Just like us. You're one of us. Something is wrong with you. Why are you here? Why are you here?

But we need you. We love you. We're nothing without you. Don't take off your sunglasses because I feel like lasers are gonna shoot out of there because you seem like you're heated. I'm heated. The audience needs to see the heat.

They'll see it. They'll be torn off. Give us the heat, baby. They'll be torn off and thrown to the floor. I, okay, I live in now. It took an hour and 20 minutes to get here. The traffic was the most annoying type of traffic where every time you got into a lane that was moving dead stop.

Then I'm coming up on towards your house. I'm not gonna say where you live. Also, I can't say because they're gonna find me. Beep it out, beep it out. Let's get beeped out. Why this is the voice of reason right now, I don't understand. She's the calming, Esther is calming me down right now.

So we know something's up. You're the energy, you're the battery pack and i'm the d about baddiary no what is it like upper and a downer the upper and the downer the two ends of the battery no plus and minus battery okay she's like so you're she's like adderall and i'm like she's meth yeah sure you're heroin you're you're my god i like that you tried to do it cute and she was like no so you're the turn She's like Adderall. You're fentanyl. She's meth. Yeah, sure. You're heroin. Oh my God. I like that you tried to do it cute. And she was like, no. So you're the turn down.

She's the turn up. I just think it's very happy to be mad about fucking traffic. But it was too long. It was too long. One hour is fine. Over a fucking hour is unacceptable. It's the price you pay for the world coming back alive. It was so fucking infuriating. I was infuriated.

I'm so mad i'm and i don't think i need to say it but i'm wearing a red shirt for a reason okay i i'm probably about to pop my period so bad that the blood will squirt upward i'm scared to have anything white near me i'm just like i felt the period rage in me, and I was like, not in this fucking traffic, bitch. I was so upset. You look so cute in those. Really? But I'm dropping it.

I think Esther is saying nay. No, I want to see your pretty eyes. Esther's a predator. By the way, we call her the Grim Groomer, and I don't know if we're ready to, like, are we ready to announce this? We said that once at lunch at Mendocino Farms. What were you doing in that moment?

Tickling the back of my eye what were you doing yesterday she took her like i put my knee up to her vaginal area her vaginal region and she's the one who got turned on i was like whoa you're like the groomer of the women because she speaks in like andy milanakis like she's a child and then i just want to say i love andy milan you're mandy milanakis of course you do No, because she speaks in like Andy Milonakis, like she's a child. And then she's... I just want to say, I love Andy Milonakis. You're Mandy Milonakis. Of course you do. You fucking have created your whole career around him. I hung out with him one night.

It was the best night of my life. Did you guys, you couldn't get into any of the clubs? Both of you were just hanging out outside, chewing bubble gum while everyone was smoking cigs? Can we get him as a guest? Oh my God. If you two are in the room together, I wouldn't be able to understand.

Prepare your bell. I feel like she's coming for you. I'm so not okay with this. Okay, just so you know, the call bell was not my idea. It was my idea. It was born out of the voice of who I am, but it wasn't my idea.

A high-pitched annoying sound. Kalilah said that I should... Yeah. Kalilah says that I should. Yeah. Kalilah says that I get a call bell for when I'm uncomfortable or when I need a treat. Or a potty break, a potty break. Oh my God, I'm gonna let you just have that. We missed you last night, Esther.

I wasn't. It was so fun. I should have brought you on stage. Would you have been so embarrassed? I'm embarrassed. Embarrassed. I'm so glad. I was like, oh my God. Where were you sitting?

I didn't know where you were sitting. Back middle. Okay. So we were at the, I did, I headlined the Bray Improv, sold out. Keep please coming to the shows. My ego is just very fragile but Kalilah came with her sister and her brother your sister wow Jules went the fam and I knew that if I said you were in the audience like it would be like a pouncing

like I would see just everyone turn and start. Did you say it? No, I didn't. Oh, you kept it secret? But then Kalilah, they didn't send her. Like, they should have taken you back to the green room right away. Yeah. But Kalilah was just missing.

I was like, where's Kalilah? I had to pee. She had to pee, and then they started taking pictures of her. In the bathroom. Oh, my God. Did people, like, catch you in the bathroom? Oh, I took so many bathroom pictures. But it was one of those those like, it was cute. That was a summer shit, but then also with some fans.

It was cute, cause like, you know, that's where girls congregate. That's where we talk, that's where we like touch each other's boobs. So it was very, it was a very cute moment. I was like, oh, these are my girls. I feel like we're very bathroom talk. Oh my God, are we bathroom girls?

I think we are bathroom girls. I think that's our vibe. you guys are making me feel like i really want to do a show the three of us i know we have to like well we have to do the play first of all we open with a play if we don't write a fucking play but klyla will you do a live show i will do a live show as long as annie doesn't force me to do any stand-up which he has threatened no this morning no i can't do this if you have to do something she has to do stand up we're not doing stand-up it's like a live podcast if i have to do stand up um i'm out and for those reasons i'm out i i can i can't do it can we pitch our podcast on shark tank like can we get investors

we want a billboard really guys what we want is a billboard okay i don't know why but we have to have who do you think is gonna bite of all of the the sharks well if i keep getting a bell rung at me i will sue her for discrimination i think that mark cuban will bite oh you mean those i know he's the hardest shark to get i think mark cub Cuban is somebody who listens to, here are the people who I think who listen to our show, by the way. I secretly believe Meghan Markle listens to our show.

What? Why do you think that? She went to Immaculate Heart. She's had a lot of emotional issues recently. She went to Immaculate Heart down the street I used to live. I know that girl. She's an LA girl. She is playing up the part of what she needs to be,

but I know like who she is in her core and she's a dirty dirty bitch like us well she's an actress like she's just a hollywood actress original like she's she is like when she had to go i felt so upset when she was got married to the to prince harry because why the prison because her outfits got so bad immediately like she was just like this hollywood you know like becoming a celebrity like killing it on her own dressing and then all of a sudden she had cowl neck and like quarter length sleeves it was like so upsetting do you know the weirdest thing about being in this business is that you love cowl necks no is that like i amongst many other people

i know her ex-husband he's a manager that's right and I remember he like finding that out was just like oh my God like it's such a manager I don't think so I don't know was it like Celine Dion and Renee no when she was 14. oh my God that is a sacred love don't compare to that he met her groomer is that who that who you're mirroring yourself after? Dave is Renee. And I'm Celine. No, but you know, creepy. Okay.

You thinking you're Celine Dion. Can I share something? You must be addressed. That seems creepy, but isn't. So you know how Catherine McPhee is dating? David Foster. Yes. And he's like. Married, aren't they?

Yeah, I'm sorry. They're married. They're married. They're married. They're married. They're married. They're married. They're married.

They're married. They're married. And she's what, like 38? And he's like 71? Mm-hmm like 38 and he's like 71 000. seems random seems weird i have been watching videos of them on youtube together singing and it is the cutest like i want their relationship it's so sweet it's so weird to say i want someone's relationship worth noting it's like you're single worth noting he broke up the band chicago and he stole peter satara and told him to make a solo album so david foster is not without fault he also admitted that he told

celine dion david foster told celine dion that if she recorded my heart will go on it would ruin her career why did he say it though i could see how you'd be like, oh, maybe this is a cheesy song. Like he is a hit maker. Yeah, definitely. But I think he I don't know how to say this, but he is a is a homewrecker. Really? Well, like in music wise, right? Like you you don't take the perfection that Chicago was, which is like 17-man band. Chicago has like 17 members. And you pluck out one and you make like 80 ballads. What's a Chicago song that I know? You know what?

I know. I don't really know. My dad listened to it, but I can't think of a song. Are you a big fan? I know. She's very upset about it. You'd be surprised. A lot of Chicago.

Another Chicago-based thing I love, band I love, is Wilco. Do your parents listen to Wilco? Oh, my God. No, Wilco is more Dave. A lot of Chicago. Another Chicago based thing I love, Ben, I love is Wilco. Do your parents listen to Wilco? Oh my God. No, Wilco is more Dave. Wilco is Chicago. Well, Wilco is a Chicago band. Wilco, I know. It's hard to say, I'm sorry.

You're the meaning in my life. You're the inspiration. Oh my God. I know what you're doing on our show. What am I doing? Singing. We'll put like one spotlight on you. Oh, choose the Filipino.

No, but listen. That gene missed me just for the record. It missed the dance and mic. Wait a second. I missed that gene completely. No, no, no, no. Every, okay, the crowd's going. If you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me.

I don't want to silence you, but shut the fuck up for a second. I was loving it. No, no, it's going to happen again, but I want I paint the scene first? Wait. I don't want to silence you, but shut the fuck up for a second. Okay. I was loving it. No, no. It's going to happen again, but I want to paint the scenario. Yeah. Okay. We're at the Bray Improv. Yeah.

We're at a 500-seat room, okay? It's packed. Okay? Everyone's getting... They're restless. You're not setting me up for success at all. They're getting their last... They're getting their last drinks.

And finally, the announcer goes, Are you guys ready for the blank name you guys ready for a lady are you guys ready for some girls do you love the podcast that was formerly named bloodbath and now they like scream and they do waffles rule and then um it's pitch black okay we just hear a little bit of a pitter-patter. And then a spotlight. David Foster in the piano. Yes. David Foster in piano.

Yes. David Foster in the piano. Then, like Connie Chung, no Asian relation, Kalilah has gotten wasted. She's on top of the piano, and she just starts singing. Ooh, no, baby, please don't go. Oh, my God. The audience stands.

I like that. Esther comes out dancing. I pull one tit out, then the other, then both. I mean, we're all doing what we do. Now, how big of an issue is this traffic going to be? Or is this just a red week situation? It was, I think it's Friday. It's never been.

Isn't it worth it for being where you get, getting to be where you live? It is worth it. No, it's not. I really, I've never been more angry in my life. The person making a left in front of me, like, you know how like when you have to make a left and the, it's green and you can't make your left yet, but you scoot into the fucking intersection. Every human on earth scoots into the fucking intersection.

I get behind this guy, three lights. He just doesn't move. Oh, no. I'm like, are you, did you die, bitch? Like, do I need to get a CPR? I'm like, on the fucking horn. Then he just goes. I'm like, the cars are coming.

You can't just go. So then they all halted. I'm like, psychopath. Like, it's like the first are coming you can't just go so then they all halted i'm like psychopath like it's like the first day driving i was so fucking mad wait do you have do you normally have road rage no is it are you i made a i made a choice in my life to not have road what kind of driver are you i'm one that sits in a fucking passenger seat i get driven i feel like that's all of us no but i like myself i don't No, I drive myself. I don't have a driver. Wait, Esther gets in the car, by the way.

Her little head is this far over the, you just see her. She's this big. You just see the little tip of her head and she drives and her hands are up here. I'm such a rule follower. I drive like a grandma. I do too. I never, like I'm always on the three most right lanes on the freeway. I'm never cutting anyone off.

I drive like Esther's grandmother when Esther says she's coming over. I'm so excited about you going to your grandmother's house. Yeah. Will you give us a play-by-play? For sure. Yeah, I'm really nervous about it. I haven't seen her in, you know, two, three years. Did she invite you?

No. No, she didn't. You're the first living person to haunt someone's house. She's like, ah! Are you going to honk the horn and say, Grandma, I might be seeing you today? My mom has told her. So I'm going with my mom and my sister.

As buffers? Yeah. I'm definitely the least favorite um but you know she has her reasons for disliking everybody i mean you are annoying but you are lovable i can't believe this it's just different i don't know what it's just like a culture i think you steal her grandma energy that's what it is no i think it's i'm so much like my dad. And like you have to remember that side of the family is like white trash. And like I'm Jewish. And so I think it's I just feel that that's at play in some way. I don't know.

Oh, no. I don't know. Your grandmother didn't post stop anti-Semitism. Do you guys want to see my banged up knee? Yeah. Oh, I don't want to see my banged up knee? Yeah. Ooh, I don't want to even look. You see it? I love it.

Wait, let me look. You're going to poke it, aren't you? Oh, Esther rang the bell. She doesn't like bruises. I can't hear bells. I forgot to tell you guys. I'm like a dog.

I can only hear a whistle. How did you get that bruise um i was basically sucking nature's dick i want to say this but i know we can't i can't say it's like a bad word but it's my favorite word that annie uses We'll just bleep it out. But I was being an a**hole. I was hiking. I was in nature. It was very rainy. It was very torrential rain. And I insisted on taking an off-the-beaten-path hike.

And I paid the price. Always do. Yeah. You guys were soaking wet in the pictures. Was it just like torrential rain? It was mud up to our knees. And my friend was like, wait a second. This is a really bad time, bad day to hike this particular hike. I'm local trust me i was like i'm not afraid of mud turns out like all i dream about

the last five days is mud like i drift off into sleep and i wake up thinking that i'm back there you know like knee deep in mud you know what i like about this this is like so you're like i can't like i'll never back down from a challenge yeah like they're local saying we don't want to go in the mud and you're like yeah he didn't want to know i Yeah. Like they're local saying we don't want to go in the mud. And you're like, no, I'll go. And they're like, bitch, we don't want to go. We're saying we don't want to go. And you're like, I will not back down. I just had to follow you.

Yeah, it was a mistake. But I learned my lesson and I am humbled by nature. And I will not be doing that hike again. But you did survive. So it's not like a kill. I would be scared that if they said that, that you'd go and then you would die. Well, Esther, it would be like to your eyebrows even crossing the rivers esther you wouldn't have made it it would have come out here i posted a picture of um me and kalilah from the

show and people were like is esther there but she's just too short to be it's so weird i'm not even that short like i don't get it you are that short i really don't get it. You are that short. I really don't. Like, no one brings up my height ever. Because you're so short they don't want to be rude. Oh, my God. That's not true. That's true. I'm five foot almost one. That means she's 5'9", guys.

You understand that, right? 5'9"? 5'11", sorry. You mean 4'. I mean 4'11". No, I'm not. I'm not good at math, all right? She's short.

Annie doesn't know the number. She's as short as No, I'm not. I'm not good at math, all right? She's short. Annie doesn't know the number. She's as short as the bus I rode to math class, okay? Annie doesn't know the U.S. number system. You're on the metric system. The rest of the world operates on that. You're fine. I thought it was the us number system.

Oh, no. Did you ever get caught calling us weekly U.S. weekly? Yeah. All the time. Yes. No, isn't that weird? Oh, George. You're a boy boy we don't expect that from you and by the way when i realized what happens to me when i'm pmsing is i just i have that moment where i'm like upset i'm like i don't know who to blame and then i'm like it's men because i get so like fuck you guys you don't

fucking have to do this fuck you you. You're blessed existence. It's fucking annoying. And that is why I make sure I bleed all over the beds of every man I spend time with. Are you a have sex on your period type of gal? Yeah. That's the only time I've already talked about it. Oh, that's right. We make our special sauce.

A special sauce hour. I know it's gross. Nobody's ever liked it by the way when I say the special sauce thing never once it's never gone over well what do they call that strawberry shortcake it sounds like thousand island

mayonnaise and ketchup oh yes thousand island's better than strawberry shortcake boogers my boogers are very flaky and hard and bloody mine are yeah mine are dry california those are called california boogers thank you for validating chaperone boogers we live in a chaperone what's a chaperone california it's like kind of almost a desert but not quite there are just like words that i would never hear if i

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So get your man to sign up. Sign up. Guys, listen, I skipped eighth grade for no reason. You went from first to eighth? I went to seventh grade i repeated kindergarten i wasn't kidding no you weren't yes i was did your brother too yeah well the reason they held his back was because he had learning disabilities and they didn't discover mine until they tried to get me to read and then they're like oh glad we held them both back because they

they had a choice to let me go forward but i mean that, that would have been so embarrassing. Oh, that's sweet. So they held us both back. And by the way, Max, maybe you never heard this. They were told me never to tell you. Also, mom killed the rat. Your rat, rascal, did not die of natural causes. Mom put a bag over him and then a book on top. Are you fucking kidding me?

But she had to because he was like. But and also she found all the hard socks under your bed she didn't want me to tell you but anyway max i hope your career is doing great and i love you i have a question yeah do you have period sex yeah i i take it to the next level what do you mean um i do this in your mouth where no like i have i have my partner pull out the tampon and everything what with their teeth it's part of the it's part of the kink why can you teach us i just want him to um on the champagne himself i went i want to pop the bottle i went to a really nice restaurant like fancy ass restaurant with todd and he ordered duck and they brought it with like a glass case over it

and it was all steaming and then they lifted the case up and they push all the smoke into his face like when you pull the tampon it's like all the stench goes right into his face like I want him to just have the whole experience but can you explain why like what what explain the like the narrative there like what is because it's kind of like the time of month where like it's naughty it's yeah it's naughtier because you're like oh it's messier it's just like not ideal right so i like to go from beginning to end i don't want to serve the dish like i want him to work for the dish you know what i mean so just pull it out and then yeah if you have a kid are you gonna make are you gonna like have it in a tub and have Bobby deliver it not a chance I'm getting full

blast epidural fuck that all that the only reason I asked is because she said she wants him to be part of the experience from the beginning to the end so I was thinking the end of the tampon you know is delivering a baby in his own hands I I don't think I could ever do a home birth. Only because it's, I'm already afraid of like weird health stuff. Right. So I'm like, but my dad used to say, he's like, just do it old school. Just like hug a tree and push it out. What?

They really, there are videos. And my dad went to, he went to med school. He was never a practicing doctor, but he went to med school as an OBGYN, gynecologist. Are you serious? So he helped deliver my sister and I. He did? They paged him? He scrubbed in everything.

In the Philippines, yeah, and in Mexico, too. What is this hug a treat? Is that like you squish the baby on the tree? Yeah, just hug a treat. Don't squish the baby. It's just something to hold on to. Hug a tree and't squish the baby and it's just something to hold on to hug a tree and push it out do you when when donut won't shit do you just squeeze it why else hug a tree the stomach i think

it's like so you're like holding something so you're not like and then you just push and it falls over here like the idea is that you're on your back your legs are open and you give birth right it's i watched The Business of Being Born. It's a documentary by Ricky Lake about home births. I watched it with four friends that were pregnant. And so it's all these home births. You see Ricky Lake naked in a fucking tub popping a baby out. And then she has this really fucking gangster-ass midwife who is from,

or I think she's a midwife. I don't know the difference between a doula and a midwife who is from um or i think she's a midwife i don't know the difference between a doula and a midwife but midwife is birth the doula is to it's almost yeah she's like to license to birth a baby she was just like this brooklyn bitch like she was just so cool and i remembered her and she gives birth in it too and she was saying how she like had like a really really hard home birth and it helped her with the other births or whatever. But she comes into my restaurant. Ricky Lake? No, the doula.

The doula. It was like so cool. So then she comes in my restaurant. I'm like, do you say like I've seen your vagina as wide as it possibly can be? Like, do I say like, hey, bitch, I seen it. Big fan. I was like starstruck, but I didn't say anything because i didn't want to embarrass her that i'd seen her the jazz hole i thought ricky lake gave birth no it's a lot

of people giving birth but she also so the woman it was ricky lake was just like presenting the thesis that you can give birth at home and that maybe it's not the best idea to go to the hospital so they were the whole movie was like was you saw a lot of births i have to say i really wonder what kind of person it like what brings people to want that line of work where you're delivering babies whether it's midwife or the doctor i i don't i know it's just like i have a weird aversion to that like it just seems scary to me. I wonder like do people get like, oh, I'm actually bringing life into the world. Do they get that out of it?

Yes. You think? Yeah, because even I didn't think that I particularly cared about births at all until I did like my L&D rotation for a nursing school. And it really is emotional. And even if you don't know those strangers, it just is so the room is like

it's like a you can feel the it's it's a really emotional thing and i don't think like i think for them probably it starts to become routine but i think it's special every time there is something special about it every time and to see people in those extremes of like pain and then like the joy of their baby being born's gotta i mean i know they're the only ones that know what we're talking about but they're men and we don't give a fuck what they have to say and they're white like my favorite show is this oh double i didn't have to say that and they're white and he's a fucking weird blonde ginger that's like what's even happening there evil evil george you don't think George is evil? There's a darkness in that man.

Look at him. He does coke. Who knew he did coke? He got drugged? He doesn't do coke. He's a coke head. He's a coke head. That's how he gets all our clips done.

He's a fucking coke head. He's doing lines, rails. Turn up, turn down. He does both of you. Fentanyl and meth. Someone tried to give me coke last night at the show oh really what yeah it was crazy i was like what is that it was a boy um he had a shirt with mushrooms on it i was like i thought you were into something different um but he yeah he was like take the and

i was like what is that i would never like someone did give me a chocolate bar of mushrooms like of mushroom chocolate which i was like that is so sweet one time at one of my shows someone gave me a strawberry rhubarb pie i wish they drugged you i wish there was something in it there wasn't it was delicious it's my favorite flavor pie that's sweet why rhubarb i know i keep every time i look at your your stories you're always doing something with rhubarb why rhubarb i think it's so it it's a tart. If you just bite into a stick, a stock of rhubarb, you get this like tart, almost like Sour Patch Kid tartness, like not obviously a sugary. But and so then when you mix that with strawberries, come on now. You know, it should be a doula. This is exactly the experience.

This is this is this is a passion a doula needs. You know what else rhubarb does? it empties you out in front of everyone it makes you shit on the table really yeah it has so much like i'm not sure if it gives you some if it has a lot of fiber but that shit cleans me out i tried planting it this year but it didn't work so oh i've seen your plants. Okay, so I started gardening last year in COVID. And like every so often, you know, I would go out and prune because that's, I didn't know this, but the more you prune for certain plants, the more grows. So I'm like really into pruning my mint. Her fingers and toes in the tub. That too every night.

So anyways, I would go outside and I would prune my mint and I'd prune the tomato plants. I'd just prune all these plants like a lot really often. And then like then one time when I did it, Dave came outside and he's like, where do you think all those leaves go when you just leave them all over like the floor outside? And I'm like, oh oh my god it's actually really cool so it's really cool because you do this and then the birds come and get it and like the birds love it so it's like it works perfectly and he's like no it's not i've been doing it and then he flew away that was the twist twist. He is actually half bird. That is the weird part.

So now like all the time, Dave will be like, oh, are the birds going to do that for you? It's just so funny how cocky you were that you thought you were teaching him something. I know. I was like, actually, the miracle of life is beautiful. I think it's really cute. You thought you were in Cinderella type of film. Mary Poppins. When you have rats as friends and

birds as helpers well she's got pigs as friends we do have lizards and a slug last night in our garden i saw the picture you tagged us yeah i love that slug i know he hasn't found his home yet clearly yeah wait why doesn't he have a shell he will eventually make some calcium carbonate for it okay of course she knows how it happens that's our shell but that's the coolest thing to me Why doesn't he have a shell? He will eventually. He'll make some calcium carbonate for it. Oh, okay. Of course she knows how it happens. That's how shells work. But that's the coolest thing to me about living in L.A. is seeing little lizards in my yard.

Although one time there was one in the house, and that got ugly. That's the coolest part of living in L.A. It's not walking by Olivia Wilde's house when she's getting in the car. That was my favorite part about living in L.A. It's like, oh, my God, it's Olivia Wilde. No where she's getting in the car. That was my favorite part about living in LA. I was like, oh my God,

it's Olivia Wilde. No, there's Annie. Come on, look at the slugs. What's his name? That's that one guy I see everywhere in LA. The guy from

Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Jason Segel? Oh, Jason Segel. I've never seen him. I see him, I swear to you, like once a week. Well, he's like 6'8

or something crazy, right? Right. But he's always crossing the road without a crosswalk. And I'm I swear to you, like once a week. Well, he's like 6'8 or something crazy, right? Right. But he's always crossing the road without a crosswalk. And I'm always thinking to myself, like, does God want us to meet? But it's just not happening. Or does God... I've seen him, like, I swear to you guys, like 25 times in LA. Or does he want people to see him a lot in traffic?

Where he's like, I'll just, if I jaywalk, they'll notice me. Or am I stalking? You guys... I'm just plotting if I jaywalk, they'll notice me. Or am I stalking you guys? I'm just plotting my days around him. Oh, my God. You guys, have you guys seen the headlines? Are they even headlines about the thruple? Or what do you call a couple with four people?

A quad? Thruple? A quad? Quadruple? Quadruple? I don't know. I'm really bad at US math, math so metric system only why what's going on so you guys know who taika waititi is he's like a big director right he's done my favorite

movie of all called boy jojo rabbit boy yeah it's one of his early ones it's like one of my favorite was he did the hunt for the wilder people i didn't know i thought your show didn't get picked up boy hbo show well highly recommend boy is one of the best films i've ever seen in my life it's so cute but he was caught there was a picture of him with tessa thompson and um what's her name um rita aura and tessa thompson is the one that's from she's in she's in a lot of things she's in a lot of things yeah we start but she's in west world right but they were basically doing like a triple kiss and um i don't know i just wanted to know what you guys think of but why they're four oh and then randomly there was a picture like she made out with another guy so people are thinking that this hot model guy is also part of their quad listen i was a waitress at this place called the cowgirl and they used to give us a staff party

during super bowl they would shut the place down yeah and let's just say i wasn't in a quadruple i was in a what's a 15 person oh an orgy they gave us free alcohol so we would just get wasted and give us free food and watch the super bowl And what would you do that makes this? There's so many pictures of me tongue kissing like a busboy, a manager, one of the other waitresses. Orgies make sense if I don't really know who I'm having an orgy with. I would never do,

if I was an A-lister like any of these three, I would never have an A-list orgy. I would go step down. I think they probably are having a, it's probably a relationship between five of them and the other person is what we call Molly. It seems

a little druggy, but was this all like, this was just one time, right? Yeah. These are just assumptions. I just was really excited about it because it's like, it's so... Because you've lived in a relationship with two men. Yes. She's like, I've been one-upped. This is like right up your alley.

This is right up my alley. You're the professional here. What do you really think? I'm a trailblazer. What do you think is going on? I think that there's a whole lot of fun, exhausting sex happening. Just rich people just on vacations. This is going to be us, season two.

This is weird. It's really hard for me to think of like famous people like those people are like all having sex together i don't know why but but also like those are always the kind of people that party the hardest anyways i'm like delusional about that but that'd be crazy it's a fun hollywood rumor i feel like because the internet like oversaturated everyone you don't hear these good like remember the story remember when um there was the rumor that benicio del toro banged scarlett johansson in the in an elevator no yeah i mean i don't i can't confirm it it was me pretending

that's exciting but isn't that a fun one yeah but. But I agree with like kind of Annie's point. I think that that sounds like three people having or four people just having a real fun night. Getting off to the craziness of a triple kiss. That's what's going to happen after my special rhubarb. Is that our new podcast named Triple Kiss? I mean, okay. I think I tried that several times actually in the beginning. I was like, triple kiss. were like you're trash get out of here bitch I'm like okay it was also COVID back then even better let's we don't give a fuck I'm excited about it I think that guy's hot he's

really cute what is it where is he from well Taika yeah he is really hot he's so hot he's so hot but he's also so funny. He's so funny. That's what makes him sort of like my dream guy. But how do you know that about him? Because all of his movies that he's been in, like his earlier movies, like even Boy, he is in and he's so good.

Like he's a triple threat. Like he does everything. He's so talented. How old is he? Because he has gray hair, but he has little man face. I think he's 44. Oh, really?

He looks like he could be one of those people that's like 32 with gray hair. Yeah, but he's from New Zealand. Oh, that's where. Oh, really? He looks like he could be one of those people that's like 32 with gray hair. Yeah, but he's from New Zealand. Oh, that's where he's from, yeah. So he's got the nice tan skin. He's got like the silver fox hair. Oof. I had a New Zealand moment.

Do you remember my New Zealand moment? No. That kid from New Zealand? I want to hear a New Zealand moment. I saw it. I got to find the picture. Oh, my God. I feel bad.

I have a New Zealand moment, but it wasn't a guy. I just went there. Was it a girl? You had tonsillitis in New Zealand. And you cured me. I did. Well did i didn't cure you i said esther go ask for a prescription for augmentin that is a care yeah she sent me to the

she sent me to urgent care in new zealand dave was so mad at me for being why yeah this is the problem with when you're annoying when you're not sick i know you don't get any sick treatment i know remember that next time you're having a good day. I just have to cherish the first like six months of our relationship when I'd be like, this hurts. You'd be like, what? Are you okay?

And then the seventh month when you're like, move in with me or it's done. That's when I came into your office like, oh my God. I always was like, Esther, this is not going to work. And it always worked. It was crazy.

Poor Dave. When Bobby and I first started dating, I didn't know that he was just a dramatic guy. always was like esther this is not gonna work and it always worked it was crazy poor dave when bobby and i first started dating he would be i didn't know that he was just a dramatic guy and he would always say things like oh i such a bad son i'm gonna go kill myself and i believed him and i'd be like what i truly thought like you know he had like a collapse of mental health and you're like let me call the doctor that molested me when i was gonna kill myself. But now, all day, even today, I'm so lonely, babe. I'm gonna kill myself. Yeah, yeah.

All right. I don't give a shit anymore. Just do it. Well, I, okay, so I would always say like, I'm just gonna kill myself. You just like can't say that

because, so my friend's dad, I'm laughing into this story. She does have a sense of humor. Her dad offed himself. Okay. He had Parkinson's offed himself. Then her aunt did, or her uncle dided himself then her aunt did or her uncle

did and then her aunt did so whenever i'm like i'm gonna come i'm like i promise i'm not gonna kill myself like i promise she's like please do not kill yourself i'm like i promise could be you though it's becoming curse like at this point me no her oh god no i'm over i will never kill myself no way no the earth will get me but it won't be from my own hands everything gets better you like live long enough where you're like it really is like that it gets better it does it just fucking always gets better if i had some insight or even some like future seeing into what my life would be god that really could have saved me i was just so sure i had nothing left in store to like live for i was so sure i was 150 sure i was like

this is just done i'm out but now i wish there was just something to see like look this what it might be later on and i would have been like oh okay you know i know and your parents can't tell you because you like hate them you're like they're like it'll get better like shut up you don't know anything about me it might not get better but it can get better yeah and so even that option is very soothing but even if you just like choose to make it but you can make your life better if you choose to like look at life as like fun i'm in traffic isn't that great some people really are in like the pit of depression you need help it doesn't matter how no i'm not saying you don't need help but i'm just saying you can always like turn your life around you really hopefully with meds and proper

like care and all of that hopefully yes okay fun fact most home remedies and over-the-counter acne products don't work and they can even make things worse and damage your skin. That's why we're excited to partner with Apostrophe, a sponsor of this episode. I've done some crazy things to help my skin and the craziest one was I used hemorrhoid cream. Unfortunately, it had already been used by my ex-boyfriend. I'm just saying because of Apostrophe, I no longer have to do that. I will never have pink eye again. Apostrophe is a prescription skincare company that offers science-backed oral and topical medications that are clinically proven to help clear acne. Apostrophe connects you with a board-certified dermatologist who will create a personalized

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This code is only available to our listeners, by the way. So get on it, guys. To get started, just go to apostrophe.com slash bath girls and click begin visit. Then use our code bath girls at sign up and you'll get $15 off your dermatology visit that's a p o s t r o p h e dot com slash bath girls and use that code bath girls to get your dermatology visit and save $15 thank you apostrophe for sponsoring this podcast um bobby's in hungary and he is hanging out with my number one crush of all time. And I cannot bear it. He knows for a fact that my number one, I've talked about on Tiger Belly for years. My number one on my list is Edgar Ramirez.

He's a Venezuelan actor. And Bobby just sent me a picture of him working with him. And I just, I did an internal scream. Is he truly your hall pass? He is my absolute number one hall pass. Oh. Oh, yeah. I know know that guy what's he in he was he played choco in um with kira knightley that's where i first had a crush on him which means he's five six oh he's hot that's not olivia the picture of him right with the blue background that one is very hot.

That's super hot. He was just in that movie with, or the TV show. Undoing. The Undoing. It was done. And he was also, he played Roberta Duran in Manos de Piedras. Are hall pass is real? Like no one really has that, right?

I guess it depends what arrangement you have with your partner. Because I had three. Okay. I had three guys who were like my favorite guys, right? Like for like decade or more. I was like, these are my three guys. Like they're so hot. I fucking love them.

I literally met. met well i met two of them one of them i didn't meet but i by meeting two of them i completely like was like what am i no i was like what was this was the like i don't know i just i almost feel like the concept of a hall pass after meeting the ones that i thought were mine and it just being so normal there's nothing more annoying than the fact that you're not going to say their name i know i need to hear a message i can't but what a life right what a life we live that we can come inches away from our actual hall passes because most people who have hall passes never come that close yeah i know when you live in hollywood you're saying that you're pretty much going, hey, can I fuck this guy one time at a party?

Do you mind if I bang this guy at a party? But I believe now, I feel like I've been so naive, but literally that shit happens in Hollywood. 100%. Yes. Well, I asked my agent when, because I had prayed for, I had such a crush on Liev Schreiber. And I was like, I had prayed.

I was like, I want him and Naomi to break up. I want it to be like a good breakup and there's no issue and the kids are happy. And then I'm coming in on it. So they break up. I had my Google Alerts ready. They break up. It's a good breakup as far as we know. I call my agent.

I go, get me to a Ray Donovan party. I will do the rest. He laughed. I was like, I've never been more serious in my life. He did not get it done. And then I'm glad because then I just like, I don't been more serious in my life. He did not get it done. And then I'm glad because then I just like, I don't care anymore. I have no interest in it.

I have a lot of interest in it. I don't know. I feel like we're trying to tell you that this is not what you think it is. They're just, once you meet them, they're horrible. No, because Bobby confirmed. He was like, I know why he's your hall pass. I get it.

He is so good looking, Kalilah. Oh my God. He does look like someone that's way better looking in person too. Yeah, and I told Bobby, I was like, well, let me, fly me out there. He's like, absolutely not.

But here's the thing. When guys are hot like that and I feel them like working me, I get turned off. So do I. I really hate that. But that's why I like him. So I've watched all of his interviews, right?

Yeah. And he just doesn't seem like that type of like Hollywood weasel he's from Venezuela he's like a you know he's got an accent he's got it all uncuts we love an uncut I love an uncut love an uncut we're pro uncut here if you're cut

put the skin back on be one of those guys that gets a cinder block and hangs it off do you know that there's like a hole There's like a hole. There's like a hole. I was just like, I'm still Jewish, guys. Please don't. Do not take out all my men.

I didn't do it. They did. Filipinos too. Filipinos are the Jewish people of Asia. Oh, really? All circumcised. All of my friends that are having kids are not circumcised. And if you're not, they call you pistot. Then you're like humiliated as a child dave is really against it

dave is like it's off the table it would be off the table for me too yeah really why for you i just think that like i grew up in a country where like they they had all these like myths around it and it's it just um i want them to make that decision when they're a little bit older. I can't cut your dick for you. Also, I had a friend who got circumcised as a kid, and they took a little bit too much out. So when he gets a full boner, it stretches his head skin, and it hurts him a lot. Oh, my God.

Oh, that sucks. I've definitely had boyfriends that have had botched circumcisions. Wait, what? Yeah. What does that mean? Darkie Markie had a... What does that name mean? She's Mexican.

He named himself that, though. Oh, okay. But he... I'm sorry. I cannot not honor his wishes. But he had a botched circumcision, so I used to say he had a mock turtleneck. He got it fixed when he was 13. He had a cowl neck.

He got it fixed when he was 13. He looked like Meghan markle in there he literally he had to get a re-circumcision at 30 at 30 so funny what about you esther like would you be circumcised if you ever had a child would you just be like all right well i don't have a strong feeling because it seems like there's such conflicting information out there about it. I think I would just follow Dave's lead, maybe do a little research, but I don't know. We live in America, so we love uncuts. It's okay here. If I were to raise a child in the Philippines,

I think I would feel pressure to glomko clamp that. Do you know what it reminds me of it reminds me of how being like paris hilton's body was like the number one body like the runway models bodies were the number one bodies back in the day and then you got shit on if you had big ass and big tits well maybe not big tits but big ass and then now it's flipped it's like everyone gets their day so like uncircumcised dicks are going to be like making fun of circumcised dicks in the shower. Well, it's like just whoever you are, just hold out. Yeah, just wait. And eventually you'll come in style.

You're going to have your moment. That is, it is so weird. My mom told me that in high school people called her bubble butt and like made fun of her. And like she was humiliated and it was embarrassing. I'm like. Juliana cried her whole childhood because she had really big lips oh my gosh you see how big and beautiful her lips are and um she was teased for having just really really big lips and i used to tell her when she was young hold out like this is a good thing you're like i

can't tell you what dsl means but you got him yeah you got him hot commodity wait what if your boyfriend had a hall pass i'd be like ew like if one of my boyfriends like i have a hall i'd be like i'm your fucking hall pass i've never like todd's hot i've had a couple hot boyfriends but for the most part i'm like you gotta be kidding me first of all you're as big as the hall let's be real i dated some big boys but i'm like your hall pass fuck you i wonder bobby has never talked to me about like a hall pass ever i'm as good as you'll ever be yeah so i think so well not really because he has dated really hot hot girls in the past yeah but that was before

well i guess he's getting richer maybe is it time for a banana break i think so oh i will eat a banana if you retract the way you just pronounced it i like to picture a banana break like we all put sunglasses on and we're rubbing suntan lotion on each other you are what lesbian oh yeah i just want to let you know this is a great banana i congratulate you thank you so much look we're circumcising the banana bananas come circumcised oh my god are they washed oh my my God, pee. Is Todd allowed to ogle, is that the word, ogle? Ogle? Ogle. Ogle. We all don't know.

Ogle, ogle, ogle. She said like banana. Oh my God, you made a wee-wee. I'm making a pee-pee. Annie, Annie! The bell is void. It reminds me of my ex. Does Todd ogle or say that woman is hot around you?

He would never. No, about like a celebrity. And the same to you, Esther. When you're together for 10 years, which I think you have been too, it's like, who cares? I talk openly about who's hot. Let him talk openly about who's hot.

Well, I'm sure he doesn't care when you're talking only about women. Oh no, that actually bothers him. I know, cause it's real. Am I your hall pass? How cocky would that be if I thought I was your hall pass? That is a funny like strategy to go up to somebody and be like, I know I'm your hall pass, you bitch.

Or go up to someone and say that they're yours that's really creepy ew i've had that happen to me ew i just remembered i was doing an interview i'm not saying anything else but the interviewer was like i forgot what he said was something like if i had a hall pass larry king no oh my god but larry. You know we had chemistry. You guys had definite chemistry. You know that he went off script, asked me if I had a boyfriend. That's why I said Larry King. Me and Larry King would have had the relationship of a lifetime. We would have listened to Sammy Davis Jr.

He would have talked to me about Anna Nicole Smith. Well, if you hadn't gone there maskless and fucking taken him out. Guys, I made a little pee hole for it. Larry King dick. Offer it to Esther. I'm giving it veins. I'm giving it veins. When's your birthday?

Oh, my God. Guys, look closely. If you don't make a left-hand turn when you're supposed to. You know who I thought I was for sure not going to find attractive? Because he did such a good job um and at one show with nicole kidman um reese witherspoon little a bit big little eyes alexander skarsgard oh he is so hot though he is so hot so i was like oh but he was such an abuser in the show i was like i hated him i hate him on the show and then i saw him jules and i

saw him having coffee and then not only that but was so attractive is that he's actually an Esther. He goes into the most fucked up looking 1991 box of a car. And he's like really tall. I thought you were going to say he refused to eat any of the food. And I just thought I was like, oh my God. Like he couldn't be hotter to me right now the fact that he was fun drove away in some fuck that's successful man in a shitty car hot is so hot dude but because he's so hot he can't he knows like we're not gonna fuck like he's too hot to

fuck like he really is yeah you have to have something wrong with i don't go for hot guys it's just like not i saw him at a party it's like not. I saw him at a party. It's a losing game. I saw him at a party. I was dating this guy like on and off. His friend was so sure we weren't dating because we were not a physical match. Then he kept going, you should go try to get Alexander Skarsgård's number.

So I'm like, you're gonna make this little man feel so bad. I had no clue I was dating this guy. I was like, that one? I was like, but I'm with this one. This one's like, shake. He's like, twitching. You're my second on the list of hall passes, which I feel like I'm inching closer and closer to, is the actor from In the Mood for Love, Tony Leung.

He's older now, but... This is interesting. I like learning more. So he's an older guy now, but if you guys watch In the Mood for Love. Go down. And he's not sold. No, I can be.

He doesn't look tall. I'm not anti-short guy. Oh, he's hot there. He's hot there. He's still hot. But when you see him, there's an essence about him. Are you ever attracted to white men?

Yeah, Alexander Skarsgård. Oh, yeah. I find asian men super super attractive so i think that i have a natural like tug in that direction yeah but i've dated all i accept that my dream to actually date and not just like make out with is like a an indian um an indian guy from the east coast not in la but from the east coast the indian guys are so hot for some reason i know what you mean annie do you not i'm just trying to think of one you only have a kosh in your head right that's literally all i can think of is akash which no offense but you're like... Akash is Andrew Schultz's... I told a story on stage last night about... I couldn't say his name right when I was bringing him up.

I was like, Akash, Akash, Akash. I was the host. And then I told a story about Bukkake, and the word Bukkake knocked the word Akash out of my head. And then I was like, uh... And I had to bring him up, so I just went, um, please give a warm welcome to Mr. Singh. And he was like 20.

I called him Mr. Singh. And he had to come up and just like do a set about like. Mr. Singh. Like his sneakers or whatever the fuck his set was about back then. You know what I mean? It was just like so. Is there anything funnier than when people fuck each other's names up though? Like when John Travolta said, remember when.

That was good. Adele Nazeem. I know know he just made up like with um um what's her name Idina I don't even know her real name well she's a cartoon character sorry I just I know her voice she's the original voice in the musical Wicked she I believe she won the Tony she's amazing she married to Taye Diggs back in the day she was right Idina Menzel I just know married to Taye Diggs. She was. Back in the day. She was. Right? Idina Menzel. I just know her as Adele Dazeem.

You didn't know her name. I said her name, Idina Menzel. Yes, I did. Oh, my God. Idina Menzel from Broadway's Wicked? Are you kidding me? I never saw Wicked. Oh, you got to listen to the soundtrack.

But he was so sure. He was so sure when he freestyled her name there was confidence in his voice i was meant to bully you like it was supposed to be in high school though he's never gonna bring me down i was like literally throwing tomatoes at you we smoke weed we're cool fuck you everyone i was bullied is so successful. I'm like, oh, shit. They've never lived in their cars. That's what my dad always said. He said, nerds, they rule the world.

I was like, all right, dad, be a nerd. And he said, guys make passes at girls who wear glasses. He was really like pushing me into the like nerdy direction. And no joke, one day at the dinner table table my dad sat me and my sister down and he was like i would like you both to seriously consider lesbianism we're like what you're like dad i already have like i know it was a in his head it was like a funny bit that he was just gonna like go and tell his friends he said that but if your dad had been like a little bit younger when tiktok came out then not 78 your dad by the way and your mom looks so hot in sleepover by esther

it's weird they look hot they're like a hot couple that's so is that your dream um thruple those are my hallbasses. Wait, so I heard we have questions today. What's up, Kalilah, Annie, and Esther? My question for you ladies is if any of you have struggled with social anxiety, and if so, what you would do to overcome that? Love the show. Thanks for your response. I'm going to start because I know that these girls are stage performers,

so they've already overcome that. I'm somebody that believes there's no overcoming it. You just live through it. You just tell people you sweat. You tell them you got a sweat mustache. You tell them you're awkward. You tell them you can't shake your hand, and you just fucking own it. Yeah, you don't pretend to do something you're not.

Right. And you just like, oh my God, I'm sorry. I'm nervous. I'm weird. You know, I say like lean into it. Yeah. And don't even apologize for it anymore. It's just like there's no one you can be but yourself and you can never be better than

like just bettering yourself and just being. But if it's to soothe yourself out of a panic attack which i have to do often because i have panic disorder um i do this thing where you do like panic at the you cross your arms like this and you tap this way it's but i mean you're more native american by the minute it's wild she's like oh whoa like all of a sudden starts raining out but the tapping assumes your um your nervous system oh i like that do you ever do tapping this tapping i don't do i anything where you alternate um sensory stuff really helps so if you don't like tapping you can do the alternate squeezing or you hear audio with like binaural beats so it goes boom on the right then

boom on the left one time in therapy or a few times, she would have me hold these like little buzzers and then like it would just buzz alternatively in each hand. Same thing, same concept. I also think for social anxiety, it's very normal. And also like, I think you can never go wrong with just dipping your toe in, being quiet. Like I never, it never bothers me when someone at the

event or the party is just kind of quiet and enjoying themselves quietly i don't think there's anything wrong with that yeah i don't really get it i just don't it's like not my business if people don't like me so if i'm happy with what i'm doing and i stay aligned with what like i think is cool and what i want to do then i don't really care about the thing around me yeah and just know that like like you i am very exhausted after social interactions i put on a very i've learned to fake it till i make it but when i go home it is i i need to take a shower yeah do a lot of steps to kind of decompress and take you know like, like wiggle my toes. I do this thing called noodling where like I just imagine I'm a noodle and you kind of like soften your body internally.

I got noodled in college. With a pool noodle? I like that noodling. Yeah, noodling where it's like you imagine like from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, right? You sit and just imagine that now you're a soft noodle. So you kind of like relax into yourself are we doing uh just gonna go right into the um ads for blue chew

um what other questions do we have hi bloodbath ladies my name is killian uh i was just curious what is one thing each of you would like to do before you die? Oh, my God. Why are their voices all so cute? I know. And sweet. Nice. Killian's a great name.

Killian Murphy. Another one of my hall passes. Oh, my God. We're killing it today. What is your answer to this question? It's just too many things that I want to do. I have like none. I want to write a book. I want to write a book? I have like none. I want to write a book.

I want to write a book. I have literally none. Like I've never been a big bucket lister. You know, go to the movies of popcorn. I know.

When do we get to, that's the bucket. That's her bucket. Bucket of popcorn. How much popcorn do you eat? A lot. And we've talked about this on this show already.

I don't share the bucket. Do you get a refill? Yes. Butter? It hurts. No butter. Do you get a refill? Yes. Butter? It hurts. Or do you do caramel? I just go straight. No butter.

Do you get a salad afterwards to try to make it better? If I need to. I don't know. It would be cool to learn how to cook. It would be cool to feel really relaxed one time. My bucket list is for you to learn how to cook too because those pastries I'll never forget. She really puts the paste in pastries. I want to write and direct a Filipino MySpace era rom-com.

Oh, yes. Opening shot, rearranging the top eight. Yes. That's cool. Well, now you have to do it immediately because someone's going to steal it. I've already written it. All right. Sorry, guys.

Copyrighted. Copyrighted. Go fuck yourself. It's been done. I want to bring MySpace back. That's mine. It was so fun. I peaked.

Oh, my God. But Esther and I would fight to see where we're ranked. One or two. You would just have to rearrange this every week. After each episode, you guys change no i'm i feel submissive to kalilah i feel like she could be number one i know also esther wouldn't even check that would be what the annoying part is esther wouldn't know where the fuck she was in my fucking top eight i'm literally mad about even the idea of it because she knows it's true look at her she would have no fucking clue where she was

and i would be taught by the way i'd be the where she was in my top eight. And I would be top. By the way, I'd be the ninth that didn't make the top eight. And you know my top eight would be like Britney Spears, Lady Gaga. No, it would be way worse than that. We know who it would be. It would be Carlos. John. J-Wolf. Our fans.

Our fans would be on before me. What is your bucket list thing? Here's the thing. I really like adventure and stuff, but I don't have specific ones. I like to be very open to them, and I usually just say yes to things. So I would love to go spearfishing with you. I want to do, like, water stuff. I haven't done them.

I went scuba diving a long time ago. I'd like to do that again. Skydiving again. I don't know. There's, like, a lot of things I want to to do i really like doing the things i've already done and i like of all the things you've already done what was your most favorite just like growing up in my house we like to call esther the adventure slug of the. I do it all over again, but that's not really a bucket list. I don't know.

Hey, girls. We're Tay and Baker from Philly. And so we just had a pretty easy breezy question for you guys to answer. We just wanted to know when was the last time you guys sharted? And if you don't know what that means, it means you just shit and fart in your pants okay thanks love you guys bye you couldn't have been more off that you thought we didn't know i mean we're three living sharts in fact that was a name option shart break the shart breakers i was at cold stone creamery in line senior year of high school with my sister

we just had a really big meal and i thought it was just a normal fart i was actually wearing a skirt from abercrombie and the second it happened i know the skirt was from urban outfitters the second it happened i just knew like something really bad happened. So I went across the way to Mangiano's and I checked my underwear and I just threw it away. I was like, this is, you know, this is we're going to take one for the team. And then just proceeded and had my cold stone. And the next day at school, I was I just told everyone. I was like, you guys, I shit my pants yesterday. You throw your underwear or did you wash it?

No, no, no. i threw it in the garbage i didn't intend i not even a fart came out but just a random tight ball of poo fell out uh while i was about to learn to play tennis at um the vermont canyon tennis course did you backhand it were you like why we hadn't even started i was just walking to the car i was like oh i'm just gonna't even started. I was just walking to the car. I was like, oh, I'm just going to learn tennis today. And it was just God's way of telling me, you will never learn tennis, bitch. Because I swear to God, it was like a tight ball. And it wasn't even that small of a nugget.

It was a considerably, like, it's a good-sized nugget. It, with no warning, no pain in my stomach, no fart impending, nothing lined up to come out. A ball just fell out of my butt. And I just felt the weight in my underwear and i was like what is that and it wasn't a squish squash it was just a tight ball so i was like what is that and when i pulled my panties down it rolled out so it was kind of the perfect crime yeah kind of and i'm not gonna pick did you ever shit in the pool

oh no i was one of the people that shit in the pool. My mom was like, is that yours? And I was like, no. You're Code Brown? I had to. I was a constant kid child. You know how much I loved you? Because when there was Code Brown, there was no swim practice. And I always think, I was like, who did this?

When people throw the Snickers bar in, they'd be like, oh, Snickers again. Best day of my life. Then I was like, it's fucking a Snickers again. Best day of my life. Lightning, lightning storm, and Code Brown. Because I'm like, oh, no practice. I have definitely sharted more recently than this, but this is my most epic chart.

I found out I was opening for Jim Norton. This was my big break. I was two years into comedy or something. He's opening, he's performing in Caroline's, which I am now, one of my first amazing experiences on stage was at Caroline's in New York, and I will be there in August. Check Annie Letterman dot com. OK, so I get a call.

I'm in a coffee shop. I'm living in Brooklyn. It's like five blocks from my house. I get a coffee. My life is just regular. I'm just an open mic. I just go do five minute open mic sets in front of a bunch of other people that hate me, comedians.

It's not a good life yet. I get my coffee. I get a call. it's not a good life yet I get my coffee I get a call it's someone from Caroline's and they go Jim Norton has selected you to be his opener this weekend in Caroline's I'm all of a sudden a professional comedian from the time I've grabbed this thing I'm like oh my god and I was such a big fan of Jim so and my dad was too so I was like so excited that I was stepping out to walk home and to call my dad and I stepped out and I was like I'm that I was stepping out to walk home and to call my dad. And I stepped out and I was like, I'm going to let this fart out. Like, like life is good.

So I just I step out and I shit my fucking pants. I shit my pants. And I'm like, so I call my dad and my dad. I have news. I'm opening for Jim Norton and I just shit my pants and he goes I'm so sick of you and hangs up on me

and I'm like what? I have to squish squash home five blocks I'm like uh what? So then I call him back and I'm like

dad what the fuck and he goes you're messing with me you and your mother I'm like what does mom have to do this and he goes your mom just shit her pants too

we shit our pants at the exact same time that's the power of jim norton okay well i guess that has been an episode with these three fools uh if you guys liked what you saw today which we know you did you sickos like this video subscribe on youtube give us a review on itunes do all the things make us happy girls we'll see you guys next time bye guys