Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Pizza & Bikinis

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors:   BlueChew - Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code BATHGIRLS at checkout--just pay $5 shipping at https://go.bluechew.com/bloodbath Magic Spoon - Go to https://magicspoon.com/BATHGIRLS and use promo code BATHGIRLS at checkout to save five dollars off your order  Apostrophe - Get $15 off your first visit with a board-certified dermatologist at https://www.apostrophe.com/BATHGIRLS and use our code: BATHGIRLS  Stitch Fix - Go to https://www.stitchfix.com/bathgirls and get 25% off when you keep everything in your Fix! Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started well i hope everyone's

happy we're here we are the swimsuit episode i i hope everyone's proud of themselves. Look, I think you aced this homework. Of all of us. This is sexually explicit. I think it was your idea. Well, no. No, it was her idea, but she thought she was going to somehow be able to be the little in her director's chair. No, I think

you know what it was? It was one of those ideas when you're with a group of friends and you're like, let's all go to Bali. And it's like yeah like of course we're gonna do that but when push comes to shove like nobody ever actually like buys a ticket so it's like too expensive somebody has a wedding that weekend like i just never saw this day as we bought the ticket we bought the tickets we're in bali bitch um let me say esther i genuinely thought you were gonna show up in a rash guard rash guard i have one and i almost did but then i was like no no not a rash a rash guard i was like i know i have to negotiate so if i cover up my my arms then like legs would have

to be exposed so i was like i'm gonna go for full maternity leggings from the gap and then it is good because it's up to the tip and then the sexually explicit top i don't understand bathing suits they're they're sexually explicit yeah they're horrible that's because you guys just dip in the pool like i look for more function when i look at swimsuits that's why none of mine are actually sexy mine are like like cowl necks basically because i look for whether or not they're going to stay on my body if I dive. That's hot, but you are Stephanie. You're Stephanie Seymour in this. Stephanie from Baywatch? Isn't her last name Seymour in that?

No, see, Stephanie Seymour is Axel Rose's ex-girlfriend. She's a supermodel. You're Stephanie from Baywatch. Yeah, bitch, I got concave tits. I like it. No, no, no. Your tits are about 40 sizes bigger than hers. Well, we know the history of my tits, don't we, Pete? But concave sounds painful. It sounds like it hurts really bad. She did have painful tits, though.

I did have very rock hard, huge painful tits that I removed. Let's just say it's been a real roller coaster on that chest. And it's been up and down No, it's down and up and back down It's way back down We are in the valley We are no longer on the peak of the mountain That's what upsets me the most about my tits

Is that they haven't necessarily gone down They've gone sideways And no one told me that when I took implants out That that wasn't a possibility. I always thought, okay, well, they're going to. Bitch, I was born that way, so I don't want to hear it. I have wide set titties. They're pretty much under my armpits.

That's why I have to wear. This is a bra to me is a swimsuit top. And I am going to let you guys know, I am forfeiting back fat to have the hoisting of the small titties into large tits. Explain that. Like, okay, so if this band was looser, this would be looser too, and it wouldn't be as much of a hoist of the boobs.

So you're saying it's so tight that it's giving you big titties, but it's also giving you... It's pushing up. It's so tight that... I'm choosing the way you chose this section. I'm choosing this section over... Like, I'm going to let this flap out.

I noticed your abs are looking really good yeah I've been working out guys listen I knew this was coming up I've stretched my penis a lot I made sure my penis is as long as possible don't you guys do did we talk about this before, that some people use cinder blocks to try to get their foreskin back? Yes, you did. You bring this up, I feel like, every week.

I haven't gotten quite the reaction. I'm waiting for a vom, Sitch. I only know about docking, but not about stretching foreskin. What's docking? Oh, my God. Well. You don't know about docking. in nasa terms let me put it

to you in nasa terms um space docking boat docking space it's docking it's it's it's docking um the penis the shaft the head onto the inside of another penis yeah so any and i can show you it's done later. Why? Isn't it like uncircumcised where you wrap the skin over the head of the other? With a turtleneck. You're just offering a turtleneck to keep. But what does that do? Do you remember earlier when you were like, do you have a sweatshirt?

I'm cold. And Kalilah was like, yes. It's like that, but for penises. It's like a penis sweater. If you're really cold, Esther, and we're in the Arctic. And I said, Esther, you're like, Kalilah, my hands, they're about to, what do you get it when you, they're about to be frostbitten. Yeah.

And I like, Esther, the only place for you to warm them up is deep inside my asshole. I would say I disagree. I'll go vagina. Oh. Okay. Vagina's warmer than a butthole, I think. I feel like you have the right size of introductory hands to go into an asshole, though. You've got like starter butt plug size hands.

I've had bigger dicks than your hands. Wait, I want to ask you guys, what was the prep or what was the overall psychological state leading up to this? I like that you're pretending you don't know. I called everyone. There were texts. There is a paper we had a sad phone call when i was hiding in the bathroom in my hotel well what did it sound like well at first she was like calming me down and then 20 minutes later she called me and she's like now i'm mad i was fucking pissed i was like all the because i what i did was a codependent move where i was like oh i'll just go get your swimsuits for you.

No, you were like, you were like, it's going to be fine. We just have to go into it with the, because we, here's what happened. We got this email that we're doing this big OnlyFans shoot and, and like it was going to be 4th of July themed. And I'm like, I don't have any 4th of July stuff. I can't, I can't believe you guys really want me to be in a bikini for OnlyFans. I was freaking out. And Amy's like, no, no, it's going to be fine.

20 minutes later, I'm not okay. I was fucking livid. Amy's like, no, no, it's gonna be fine. 20 minutes later, I'm not okay. I was fucking livid. I was like, are you guys fucking kidding me? I'm on my period. I'm the fattest I've ever been. Really? That's the sound of my ass dragging right now. That's not even a fucking plane. Okay. It's a helicopter. Do you know a helicopter? I got a I'm in my helicopter phase right now. Okay. I'm stout. I'm round. But I just now I'm stout I'm round And then I was like I'll go get your 4th of July stuff I go to the fucking

Thinking the Venice boardwalk Will be the place that has like gimmicky things Nothing I was livid Look guys We're not the type of girls that OnlyFans comes easy to That isn't necessarily our thing Which is why we're pushing ourselves to of girls that OnlyFans comes easy to. That isn't necessarily our thing, which is why we're pushing ourselves to be...

What are we pushing ourselves? Put ourselves out there. It was really stressful today, but I feel like we got through it. It was fun. Everyone felt sexy. I mean, the shoot was a little bit different than what I thought it was.

Why? I forgot that I am a complete exhibitionist. I don't know that they'll ever make it to the OnlyFans to be Real but I mean I came in and It went from me being like George I never want to see you again in my life you Piece of shit to me walking and being like Should I pull my tampon string in or out

Like should it be in the picture or out Of the picture and he was just walking around Like you looked Like a man in a speedo Like a young You were not wearing a man no top no top but then so the reason i brought this up is because esther's little butt plug introduction hands there's a picture of them holding cupping each one of my hands and one is a regular hand is the hand of a child well i don't don't have, I have LeBron hands.

My hands are so big. Bobby's afraid of these. He calls them ET fingers. He's like, you can never put those up any orifice. Go. Yeah. Look at how stretched out you can go. You were stretched.

Yeah. That's what Dave is like. I've never seen anything. Is that weird to not be able to? No, no, no. Look at her peace sign. It's her. This is her natural too. Dude. It's, no, no. Look at her peace sign. It's her. This is her natural too. Dude.

It's like your Asian hips. Annie, do peace sign. If I'm trying to do it. Oh, that's because I'm double jointed. I could be in, what do you call that? I could be a Cirque du Soleil act. Oh, I thought you were going to say, I was going to say rheumatoid arthritis. I have that too though.

So I want to do a check-in of how everyone's feeling about their bodies right now because the point of this was to just be and let be, right? Just be who we are no matter what that,

whatever shape we come in. Yes, but... Whatever pubes stick out because guess what? My pubes are sticking the fuck out. That's why these pants are on. I will be real.

There were... For an Asian person. I was surprised at the amount of pubes I saw. On me? There were more pubes than I thought. That's from Papa's side of the family. And they were gray, just like her elderly father. I think I'm feeling better. I like I said, I put this bikini top on this morning

and I just I immediately texted a picture of it to my lover because I was like I'm gonna at least get what did Dave say did he see you send the picture to your lover was it a girl I I just feel pornographic and you do if you wear like a tight shirt it turns into a weird thing it's weird weird. I feel weird. But I also am kind of enjoying it. I'm like, you know what? It's freedom.

People do this all the time. And obviously, I'm kind of cheating because I have these maternity pants on. But it's one separate time. It's easier to fit her diaper with the maternity, guys. Volume two of the swimsuit episodes, maybe I'll be in a little bikini. Yeah, I think we're going gonna have several iterations of bikini day also another thing is this isn't just bikini day this is bikini and pizza day yeah so I'll also have diarrhea later I mean it's really excellent it's just really throw myself out

there just the chubbiest I've ever been in my life that was the negotiation because I said let's do an episode where we taste test all the like classic pizza places like Domino's, Little Caesars, you know, whatever it is. And and George was like, no, everyone does that. And I was like, fuck. And then Annie goes, well, what if we do it in bikinis? And George was like, yeah. And then I was like, really? Fuck.

So this whole thing was really conjured up between you two. Listen, there's going to be a moment. Stephanie has a problem with this. There's going to be a moment when I'm eating a slice of pepper There's going to be a moment when I'm eating a slice of pepperoni and you're not sure if I actually am eating a slice of pepperoni. What do you mean? Are those her nipples or is it? Oh, you guys.

Well, I'm just glad I've been doing my sit-ups. I really have been exercising a lot for this. And I feel embarrassed now that I freaked out because. And it shows. Mrs. Olympia. Before the shoot was scheduled, I was at a six pack. Okay. I actually have a question I want to bring up because we've been talking about how we're doing.

We're launching our OnlyFans. And I saw this post on Instagram by this girl I follow, Alexi Wasser. And I thought this was an interesting topic. And I read it out loud to dave and we just like we didn't know where to land and i want to know what you guys think of it so it says do all men follow a ton of cam or porn girl instagram accounts is this something that's just normal and no big deal and shouldn't cause upset or concern and instant reaction of wanting to close one's heart

and no longer believe in love or fidelity let me know if you just have to overlook and accept a person's right to porn and provocative insta accounts i think some people watch porn and some people don't like i my friend um justin shanes who's a writer i love this guy but he posted in his story a screen grab of his discovery page and he was like what like this is so embarrassing it was like all these like weird animals and weird things he was like what the fuck is this and I was like then just one picture of like Reese Witherspoon and her daughter but he was posting it and I was just the only thing I kept thinking is like how are there no pictures of asses and stuff yeah like I feel like most guys discovery pages just

like yeah there was none of that where i was like oh my god are you the only boy i think we should look at our discovery pages after this discussion but i what i want to say about that esther is um i mean i have my own um like whether it's food whether it's gambling whether it's sex whether it's lettuce anything in excess that gets in the way of friendships relationships mental health mental health, overall wellness to me is a problem. Let us talk about this lettuce thing because I really have been upset. Every time I hang out with you, you are eating lettuce. And I'm like, enough, enough, enough.

I haven't eaten lettuce in so long. I love arugula. Arugula is my thing. Good. Thank you, bitch. Thank you. I think there's no clear answer because I was looking at this and at first i was like this is so silly and then i was like well it's actually really interesting like so my so dave my partner like we're both very open you know

well this is for example like i looked at his tiktok like we like looking at each other's tiktok and one time when i looked at it his algorithm was like all like cute young women with huge boobs like bouncing around like this is not normal but not threatening either because it's your at least his type i had a friend whose boyfriend she caught looking at all this like titty porn and she's like flat and it was like that's a problem but i don't care like i almost i i welcome that like i think it's actually cool i think it basically if you love and trust that person it kind of doesn't really matter what they're up to that's a good point the discussion isn't about whether it's allowed as a whole what's unhealthy what's not healthy a lot has to do with your relationship

with your partner because i mean for me there was a point in our relationship where i was like i think that porn is getting in the way of your dick properly functioning like and bobby says it himself like he had erectile he had porn erectile dysfunction because he's watching a bunch of this stuff on hd and he's sort of like you know it really was a hit on my um what do you call it on my self-esteem not because i didn't want him watching porn or that i even stack myself against those women well because he was jerking off more to that than actually being with me physically so i was like wait like you cannot that's a problem you should try not talking so much you know what the point is you think me talk just mute me are you projecting well she talks too. I talk?

I talk, Annie? She talks too, as well, as well. But yeah, that's too broad of a question. It's really hard. Annie, would it bother you if Todd was following hot girls? If it doesn't come into my life, I don't care. I would just rather not know. I don't care.

It doesn't like come into my life I don't care I would just rather not know I don't care like I don't it doesn't bother me but I could see if I was really in it if I was feeling insecure in my relationship if I felt like I wasn't pretty enough wasn't skinny enough all the things and I was dating some guy and I saw he was looking at like really hot girls that would drive me crazy I would feel I would feel like shit I wouldn't okay but wouldn't that be your issue and that you would have to work on because if no because if you not if you at your most confident doesn't care then that's but does care when you're on don't you just have to work on your confidence no I disagree I think it's the relationship has having a problem it's not me it's you're not making me feel right yeah totally yeah yeah but that's how I mean kind of like if it if it spills over into my life like if all of a sudden your dick's not working when it's not me it's you're not making me feel right yeah totally yeah yeah but that's how i mean kind of like if it if it spills over into my life like if all of a sudden your dick's not

working when it's for me yeah or like you're yeah you're paying more attention to it or whatever then that's an issue but if it doesn't come into my life do whatever the fuck you want i remember when um i had just gotten a heart ablation and i was feeling just really icky about, you know, I was always just in pajamas. Anyways, that's when a lot of Bobby's like porn addiction started happening. So combined with my already. Eric Griffin was right. About.

You got to wear a little more lingerie. What I'm saying is that while I was sick, compounded with someone, you know, seeking something else and not trying to engage with me because he thinks like i was a sick person at that time really fucked with me but now if i look at his explore page is very similar where it's like yeah it's a lot of chicks but it's not it has zero net effect on me now yeah but there's also a lot of work on my own shit too it sucks when you like a couple bad things at once like i remember i got i had just gotten dumped and then i had in

high school and i had to wear a boot on my ankle and i normally didn't pay your parking ticket normally i would be so proud of wearing a boot like i wouldn't care it would just i would think it was funny i would feel different you didn't have anyone to push you around you had to just deal with it no but it was like i was so insecure after being dumped but the boot was like the end of the world i'm so surprised because i thought you would have been one of those kids that was like i love this boot attention but that's what i'm saying is that's what i would have been if i hadn't just gotten dumped. It was like,

I always remember thinking that. I see you being one of those people where we find out there's no foot problem. You just got a boot from like a second hand store. A hundred percent. Yes, you're right. You are correct.

Did you let people sign your boot or your cast? No, no, no, no. Because it was actually after. Is that how he broke up with you? He's like, let's see other people. No, it was detachable. It wasn't something that people signed.

Wasn't the role one? Yeah. That's really interesting, Esther. I think that it's a very personal thing between two people, how they feel about their partners. Yeah, because it would be a different relationship. It just depends on who the person is, how much you trust them. So many of my friends do sex work. We're right here.

I know. We're on OnlyFans. Now we're sex workers. Oh my God. And I'm just saying it's like. But like if you look at this fucking OnlyFans and you come to my show thinking you're ever going to fuck me, I swear to God, everything gets taken. We stop doing the podcast.

It's done. Do you understand, guys? Don't fuck this up. She's talking to me man sir annie it's summer it's camping season let's talk about pitching tents this that's right yeah boners what kind of tent oh wait you you beat me to it. That's right. We're talking about Blue Chew. It is time to bone up, guys. OK, and ladies, get this for your man, too.

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smoking weed every day every single day what time do you relapse I wake up in the morning the brain you quit it every day every day every day I wake up in the morning and I go I quit I go wow I must I remember quitting weed last night I was so high I must have quit weed and then later that day I smoke weed again like isn't that crazy I quit smoking weed and then I'm so high again I'm like I gotta quit this this is horrible why do you want to quit it and then what makes you keep doing it it's a bad thing to do at the end of the day i've had this whole day what makes it bad it's just like i'm being like a bad but i i have said this before like i actually think smoking weed is not bad it's not cool like it's not like bad in the cool way like cigarettes are anymore because it's legal so it's like you have

to do it i would say like if you want to be cool you have to do it out of your tracheotomy hole but that's a stage bit so if you come see me listen if you come see me and i do that joke fuck you okay you're not allowed to be mad at me fake laugh but okay what about smoking weed leads does it lead you to other activities that you don't want to be doing yes like last night day before the full panic attack attack about the swimsuit thing. Like literally everyone has like, it's all blue. Like there's like 10 blues in a row on everyone's text chain.

Okay, like one word answers where everyone's like chill. Yesterday was national donut day or maybe they just made that up. Why do you know that? Todd, because Todd wanted donuts. It's on Instagram. Wait, where did you guys go for it though? What do you mean why do I know that? How Todd wanted donuts. It's on Instagram. Wait, where did you guys go for it though? What do you mean, why do I know that?

How is that a weird thing to know? Bitch, your dog's name is Donut. You don't know where donuts are? Excuse me, the person that would know the most? Oh my God, you missed Donut's birthday. It's not her birthday. It's not a real day. Everyone knows that.

It's not a real day. It's on Instagram. Anyway, so Todd wakes up. I want to know where you guys went to go get donuts. Todd wakes up. He's like, I want want donuts i'm not having donuts at this point i'm like i'll go with you i'll bring randy not gonna have you say i'll burn randy i heard that i will burn this fucking dog if you bring that donut near me i will i have like a lighter up to his ass randy you better not fart i'm gonna fucking burn no but um no bring randy

so randy's in my lap we go to the donut shop wait where'd you go well todd loves dunkin donuts so he finds you live near a really good donut place so todd's excited about dunkin donuts we go i don't give a fuck i'm not getting donuts so we go there is so much traffic that we end up todd's having road rage i was I have the phone with you? I was on the phone with someone while Todd was having full road rage. Then there was nowhere to park and he's like, fuck it, we're not getting donuts.

So we leave. And then. Someone could run in. Is there? No, it was like annoying. It was, I didn't, nobody, it was a forced situation. And Todd very rarely gets upset, but he was upset yesterday.

So we leave and then later in the day, my friend and I go to a place called Wendy's Donut Shop, but it was so good. You were saying a place called Wendy's. Yeah, we went to- You mean Wendy's. Yes, yes, yes. No, but there's a Wendy's Donut Shop we found. Okay.

When we were going to the tanning salon. And I don't know if you guys noticed my sweet spray tan. This is a very early 2000s story, I feel. Yes, it is. Dunkin' Donuts sweet spray tan. This is a very early 2000s story, I feel. Yes, it is. Dunkin' Donuts, spray tan. So we get Todd because I didn't want my angel to be upset. I'm codependent. I got him like a thousand donuts, okay?

A thousand donuts. And they were all like that didn't fit into the, like we were going to get a half dozen. And then they were like, that's an extra dollar. I got them all like the gourmet ones. Bring it back. Todd does not overeat. So Todd had one bite of a donut. And then all these donuts were hanging out that's an extra dollar. I got them all like the gourmet ones. Bring it back. Todd does not overeat.

So Todd had one bite of a donut. And then all these donuts were hanging out. But I was fine. I was like, I have my bikini thing tomorrow. I'm not going to eat these. I go to the comedy store. I literally am in the middle of a conversation with Mark Maron going, Mark, I'm on weed again.

I'm going to have to go to AA meetings for weed. Jeff Ross's friend comes up and goes, do you want this joint? And I was like, oh, that's fate. Sorry, Mark. And I like grab the joint. and then I'm high as shit and then I go home and I eat every donut that's left shoving it in and I was like I just can't wait to talk at least it'll be funny on the podcast it'll be funny on the podcast woke up just like donut diarrhea in the morning I don't know if you guys have ever read but every morning gift I know you just get rid of it right away that's a good point my shit does my shit sticks same it's three days before that toilet seat those donuts

i wake up in the morning i so i will eat well i'll have a great day and not in an eating disorder way not in a way where i'm like trying to not just i just have a productive good day thank you for calling it out though because what esther and I did was a very eating disorder-y way. Yeah. We praised diarrhea. Oh. It's a gift from God. But it's okay.

But it does feel good after. Wait. Not even an eating disorder-y way, though. It does feel better to get rid of. What? Can I know some of the premium flavors of donuts that you had to pay a dollar extra for? Okay. One was like an apple fritter, obviously. There was one cream-filled, but it was like whipped cream filled.

I ate that whole one. That was so good. It was a triangle. It was this big. And then I had chocolate frosting on the top. Were they really good? Was the place good? It was fucking amazing.

Every bite was good. Wendy, shout out. And then it has a capital D, when. And then it's D. Can we do a donut taste test episode? Yeah, we'll do that one too. I have a question. So I, while I like donuts, I grew up loving munchkins, the donut holes.

I love munchkins. Is there a donut hole, a national donut hole day? No, I think it falls under donut day. It cannot because it's not. No, today it is. Guys, the day this comes out is hashtag national donut. Hashtag. Hashtag.

Hashtag. Hashtag. Someone burned her dog. I burned my dog. Hashtag national donut whole day. So start it. Post your pics. We'll repost them.

Well, that sounds sexual now what are your only fans bitch you're the only fans girl what are your favorite donut places in la ester um there's a place called blue star and there's something else so fancy for a donut place it's a coffee place too there's something else like i feel like venice has a blue star and has something else that's really good that i'm not remembering the name. Oh, there's, I've always wanted to try sidecar donuts in Santa Monica, but I've never tried it. Have you tried Donut Friend? Yeah, I like Donut Friend. Donut Friend is all vegan.

Yes. Come on. But it is really good though, Annie. Really? It's so annoying. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about old school, just like a fresh hot. What about California donuts? I've never had that.

Krispy Kreme? Yeah, a fresh hot Krispy Kreme. You are've never had that. Crispy cream? Yeah, a fresh hot crispy cream. You are fucking. I could see you just downing a does. But I don't usually go for donuts because they're so filling that you can really only eat one. Oh, sick. And also you've already had several bagels by that point. Yeah.

I like a chocolate chip cookie where I know I can like, I got three or four and I can feel okay. And guys, again, if you ever have Esther's baking, it is like they're not sweet. It's literally like you're not eating a donut. Those cookies you had, I really liked them. You did? Yeah. Well, how bad were the ones before then? The best part was too that it was social distance then.

Like we were on the other side. So you couldn't see my face just recoiling after every day. Well, I could tell you weren't eating them and you wouldn't be honest with me until later I think that we should have an episode where you serve us your cookies and I will give you a very unbiased no she's gonna try harder I don't want her trying harder and he still gets the bad ones the unsweetened ones I get the sweet ones what are your favorite flavored donuts I like a cronut I had a uh that's not a flavored donut glazed cronut for him too is one of the other you know what but okay you know what is like my if like speaking of eating disorder talk like what would be like an unsafe food where like i would go too crazy cinnamon roll if you get me near a

cinnamon roll i will like i'd kill everyone in this backyard do you bite straight or do you unroll um i eat it with a knife and a fork and i just kind of go in but do you do it with the the i'll eat a little bit of the outside i'll go a little inside i go back and forth so there's a method it's a nightmare and i dip in you and my mom should just go on a mall date together because that's her favorite mall she'll steal them off people's plates the smell the the icing like oh i, I have to leave. What if she got so excited she fell in the pool? How happy would you guys be?

Esther, there is this sport that I think is made for you. And if it became an Olympic sport, I think you should try out. Okay. So there's a competition in Korea. It's called the spacing out. I think it's called, I don't know what they call it, but you basically sit on the forest and the winner is the person who does the least is so zoned out of their minds and they measure like the heart rate they measure the blood pressure and you do nothing you just sit there i can tell you why she can't do that because it's not that esther doesn't like things being done

she just has that you would need someone to be doing stuff for you you'll be thinking about other things because i just saw you take a nap right now. I was like, Esther could win this. Well, that wasn't. And here's the thing. To even brag more, that wasn't a nap. I was just like completely shut down in rest mode. Like almost.

I told you some really important stuff. That'd be funny if I was like coming clean. That's what shut me down. I need to talk. I just I put you power off. You like reenergize. it's almost like a version of meditating even though that word like is triggering because I don't know how to meditate but um I and I do have really low blood pressure so I do think you're not wrong I have an idea what can we make

a shirt that says the word meditating is triggering I'm not allowing that line to just go. That must be made money off of. I can't meditate. Can you? There's no way you can. But to be triggered by the word meditate. I meditate. A hundred percent I meditate.

I meditate every day. This is me. Every day? This is meditation. I meditate and I also do a visualization. What do you think about? Oh, I'm being showered by gold coins i'm diving i'm coins she wants coins yeah i want to feel a little pain i want to earn the i'm bruised up

i'm bleeding my teeth are flying out wait i can't ask you guys this is there is there um back in the day you know when the dollar wasn't what it is now like when your dad was young back in 1910 could you could you go to a strip club and bring a bag of coins and with that fly well you make it hail boom oh that's interesting like we're because a quarter was must have been so much money back then but were there even strip clubs in the 20s or were they brothels now i'm about to say something that I just want you guys to know. It's fake. I don't really want to do this.

It's just a thing I'm going to say. Let's do a stripper-themed episode. Oh, God. But let's never do that. Okay? Let's actually never do it. But I'm just saying that. Why don't we not?

By the poll, Pete. The meltdown that would ensue from all of us the day before no well let's do the stripper one but we have to i want to actually have a teacher or something teach us well i don't really want to actually you're gonna end up being good on it bitch no we're not gonna take our clothes off look at what i've triggered i triggered you i got excited i got we're gonna do an activity no i did go to one of those pole dancing class once in chicago and i it's like impossible it's not easy so hard nicole byers good at it girls who just throw themselves up there and can do the things i don't i bet kalilah could do it but it seems so it's probably strong enough it's

just that my hands sweat you guys and my feet sweat but it's not your hands are not the things holding you at all i mean there's still gonna a climb. Don't some women have gloves or like powder? Yeah, powder. Oh my God, like rock climbing? I use that every day of my life, you guys, to like hold a pen. I like powder up. Wait, did you see the way she went like this? I powder.

I used to do that. I used to bring powder like even during like my nursing rotations. I used to have a little bag of powder here because I couldn't put gloves on. If you got arrested for that, that would have been the best thing in the world. They thought you had coke well someone someone whose hands were mildly sweaty was like oh yeah honey all you need to do is just put some powder before you put the gloves on and i made cake batter with my hands that's what the fuck happened like it did not work at all that's why i quit nursing i was like fuck this can't do this my

hands will not agree okay two things there's two memories were just triggered um one was one i forgot but one was i when i was a waitress i'll remember it though put a pin in whatever you just said before this that i also forgot this is the weed and the add i can't i'm giving myself early onset alzheimer's by smoking weed don't joke about that dude when i looked at my 23 and me it's don't make it not a joke by saying that dude ew now you're gonna get it too because you said it that'd be so fun if we were all in a nursing home what if we are now what if we've died what if we're on our deathbeds right now and this is us reliving our lives you stop that if you were nice though if you were a golden girl who would you be i didn't watch the show i. I don't know which one. The slut one.

The slut one. What is your actual problem, you guys? The brown-haired slut one. Who? The slut. What's her name? Blanche. Yes.

Don't we? Yeah, Blanche. I always think of Eliza's dog when I hear the name Blanche. Oh, that's so cute. So anyway, when I was working as a waitress, my thighs chafe. I am going to Miami on a vacation and Puerto Rico and I am so scared of just the situation with my bleeding inner thighs. Can I just say something?

My thighs chafe too. But you know what? They don't because I never put them in a position to chafe. No, but it doesn't even matter because think about being in, but in a wet, hot climate, it's, I can't wear like sweatpants and shit. But you can wear bike shorts. You don't have the same. Listen, it's not the same thing.

When I was waitressing, I would wear leggings underneath my skirt and everything. I'd have to wear all black. And it's still fucking shaped. It still did. What do you mean? Can you explain that? It's just rubs. It's like, you know how when you have pants, do your pants get pilly in between?

I don't wear anything but sweatpants. But they get and they don't move enough to get pilled you don't see that's the thing you have chafing but you're also sitting you're on a chase lounge that's what she thinks chafing is um thought there'd be a bigger laugh but that's all right can't win them all you just keep going you just keep going sometimes i do that on stage when i'm just in the middle i just complete internal monologue uh justin martindale went before me last night and in the middle of my set as he walked by i went oh there's justin like why did he sit in the middle of my set everyone's like justin which one timberlake go get him okay so i'm waitressing and i'm chafing through my leggings. I'm like, it's just so bad.

It hurts so bad. I have to walk around. So someone had told me that if you get not baking powder, what's the other one? Baking soda will help. You can put that in between and it'll help the chafing. Like on your skin? Cornstarch. Cornstarch.

On the skin? Oh, I got to get out. So I go into the kitchen that's bad what i have a sensory issue with corn starch what i understand it drives me it's almost like it's worse than chalk on um nails on chalk okay so we'll use a different word don't say it because like powder we'll just say i go into the kitchen and ask for the powder the special powder powder. Honestly, cornstarch is just making me think I want to make an apple pie tonight. Not a rhubarb? No, I don't have any rhubarb.

What is rhubarb? We've talked about this. It's a beautiful, hard thing. I tell you every week. What a terrible podcast. Every week we get to the bottom of rhubarb. This is the worst podcast ever. Wow, they keep repeating their rhubarb story.

Wow. So you put cornstarch in between your in between my my my parts of my coochie legs no the lips the lips are also okay but that's just i knew my that's a different situation what kind of pie did you make the lips are not in the story okay this get the lips out of the story perverts all right so my my chafing inner thighs my opposite of a thigh gap my thigh filling my sandwich let's just say i need to use our ass tape sponsor to pull my thighs out so i'm wearing i'm i going to get the cornstarch from the kitchen

and I have to convince them these are not my pals these Mexicans hate me okay they do not like me at this restaurant so I'm like I finally talked them into the cornstarch I figured out a way to get it I don't remember how he did it but they gave me a little cup of it and I knew it was gold I knew I was never going to get it again so I was like I got to stash it somewhere and in New York and all of the bathrooms they have these um postcard holders that are just these cases that have like different people advertise different postcards so i put it in this little cup this little side serving cup of powder in the thing and um like three days later the manager this this guy Mitch comes out and he's like,

what the fuck is this? Whose is this? He's screaming thinking it's like coke or drugs or something. And the kitchen guys are like, it's and I'm like, shut the fuck up. Like it's Anita. I'm like, it's not me, it's not Anita. And they're like, I don't understand.

And finally I had to be like, all right, my fucking thighs, okay everybody, my thighs are bleeding. And everyone was like, oh, okay, you can have the corn starch. Everyone was like, all right, but fucking thighs chafe, okay, everybody? My thighs are bleeding. And everyone was like, oh, okay, you can have the cornstarch. Everyone was like, all right, but it was so embarrassing. I would have just put flour instead of cornstarch because it would at least absorb the moisture a little bit better. Cornstarch, I think it makes things gelatinous.

Yeah, I'm not a fan. Well, I was already making some gelatinous stuff there, okay? I was already. What? It was already a little jello-y. Fun fact, most home remedies and over-the-counter acne products don't work. And even worse, they can actually damage your skin. But do you know what actually does work? Prescription treatments. That's why we're so excited to partner with Apostrophe, the sponsor of this episode.

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Have you seen the movie? Oh my God, I want you to fall back in the pool. You know what I'm going to say. I would take you with me, bitch. I would grab one of those pigtails. I'd be like, thank God it was pigtail day. I would swing you around. I would prope you with me, bitch. I would grab one of those pigtails. I'd be like, thank God it was pigtail day. I would swing you around. I would propeller you.

Have you guys seen the movie Powder? No. George was in it. What are you talking about? George, show a leg. Just pop one of your big ass calves in front of you and show how white you are. Esther, have you seen? I know Annie has seen it because she has a reaction to it.

It was a 1995 movie. I can't believe your parents didn't take you to watch this traumatizing film. It's like, has a rejection of anything that would, would help us in conversation. It's like her little body knew back then. Don't watch this movie. What is it? So it's, so it's a movie about, gosh, like now it would never fly because number one, the main character He's

He suffers from Yeah he has albinism Who says albinism It's albinism I know but how do you know all these words It's albinism Has anyone heard albinism though We know about albino folks

People with al I never like say it I know what it means when she says it I know what it means when she says it. I know what it means when she says it too, but it sounds like a town in New York. I'll say this, it doesn't upset me when she says it. Thank you, I love her. It doesn't make me feel small. Well, I know dum-dum because you fucking would never have known the word.

She's like, I knew, and you couldn't lie to me? You were going to try? Well, here's another word you're not going to like. So he couldn't grow hair either, so he had alopecia. I know that one. Okay, good. But his mom when she was pregnant was struck with struck by lightning right and now he has like electromagnetic um fields going through his body so when he like rages out it like shuts the lights off like he has like this superpower right and i want you guys i want to know if you think a movie like that

would fly today why what is inappropriate about it? He's albino. It's suggesting that people who are albino have powers. Well, it was a guy who didn't. It's a white guy. It's a guy from. Sean Patrick Flannery. Who, they just took a white guy and made him, painted him whiter.

Yeah. When there's like Victor Varnado is a friend of mine who's albino. He could have done it. Like there's like albino actors that are like dying. They're like pitching. They're probably in Hollywood right now pitching powder too like now that finally we'll get our representation oh is that what your question is kalilah yeah because they had didn't they shave his head grow hair and i have a friend i um one of my good friends shana she has alopecia yeah i have friends

too and um so i that would definitely not fly today right no albino actor yeah you would have to have like there's no way i grew up with a guy named i think his name was hyrula hytula what he was from the south of the philippines but he was from hyrula or hyrula hytula hytula is low and i that was his uh first name and surname but i saw hyrrula. I think it was his name. Shout out. I don't think. That's not my last name. It is.

You didn't know that her last name. But he was such a fast swimmer and he just killed it in all the races. But he had extra digits on each. So he had 6, 6, 6, 12 and then one on each. And they disqualified him. Oh, my God. I would love to see the casting of that movie too. Well he could never swam internationally

even cause I swam for the Philippine team, right? He was not allowed on the national team because they said it was, yeah, it was extra digits. Do you know, you're a big swimmer. Do you really think that would that cause a huge advantage? No, because one of them was hanging. Like if anything, that was a drag, not a, but because the other ones were

pretty um how do i say like they were like real digits and not hanging they said that he wasn't i felt so bad for this kid he was like i was talented and so fast and also like do you know how hard it is like to just be a fast swimmer regardless of how many fucking digits like you could give some people 10 10 fingers on each one hand and they still couldn't swim. Who decides who's disqualified though? It's like the main Olympic people? Yeah, like I remember when I was 12, they made me do like a gender test.

Like when I swam for the Southeast Asian. What did you come out of? Secret. What is a gender test? Again, to prove if I was like biologically or hormonally female. Isn't that crazy? I was 12 years old, Esther. i was in indonesia how do you take the test and i don't remember what it was but i had to carry maybe i had to carry a card on my chest and one of when

when you have our athletes like cards and stuff it says like gender and whether or not it's been proven it's it was insane and i was 12, like, okay, I guess. We can only imagine how small the tits were then. I mean, I mean Annie. They were muscles. They were in tits. When I was on the swim team and my armpit hair grew in and nobody told me, I was like,

that is one of the things I'm still mad at my mom for. I'm like, mom, just why did you tell me to shave my armpits? Oh, you were allowed to shave your armpits at that age? I wasn't allowed. Oh, no, I was allowed. My mom just was like, it didn't occur to me that you were disgusting everyone around you. I want to ask you, did your parents just always allow you to wear makeup or dress a certain way? Yeah, I remember, I don't know how I decided I wanted makeup, but one day I was like,

I think I would look really pretty with a black line under my eyes. That was like two days ago. And I took a picture of myself, and I drew with marker the makeup on my face, like in the picture. And I was like, oh, I have to do this. And then I, but I was, it was like, I would, I would consider appropriate age, like 12 or 13. I was 12 or 13. Were you allowed to wear a bra or wear deodorant or shave your legs? Yeah, I didn't really have a lot of rules.

What a mean thing to do yourself to not let your kid wear deodorant. Well, that's what happened to me. I wasn't allowed to wear a bra. Why? They had good reason. No tits were sprouting. But yeah, I wasn't allowed to wear a bra. I wasn't allowed to wear or to pluck out hair or do any of that.

Like there was a part. That's a gift though. Your eyebrows are good because of that. Oh, let me tell you, the chola days took over. I know. We're all very blessed that our eyebrows grew back. I't know if you went i never fucked my parents wanted to infantilize me as long as i could like i remember like when i was like 10 i was still running around in on only underwear at home and like my cousin's like a drum instructor came over and by this by this time i

was like five four you know what i mean there's a 5'4 10 year old just running around with my hair and then I would walk around like go to like the fruit stand in the corner with no clothes on what I have there's pictures of me at 10 like in just like underwear there's like one picture of me with like a bat like just completely topless you guys I think it's time for the big moment. Wait, we didn't even have a banana break. Well, our banana break today is the pizza trial. This is what, Pizza Hut? This is cheese.

I'm going to be partial to Pizza Hut. I already know it. It's my childhood. Okay, so first we're tasting Pizza Hut and I think we got from each place, it looks like this is an original pan style. Oh my God, you're so excited about this. It's so annoying.

I hate this. I just wanna be, I wanna come out as saying I hate this segment. And it's not because of the segment. It's the joy it brings the munch. So this is Pizza Hut. I have all cheese. They have Hawaiian.

Oh my God. It's so good. Are you disgusted by Hawaiian? No. I used to get pepperoni and pineapple, but I don't like ham on pizza. Really? I'm joking. I'm going to go ahead and say that they've definitely slimmed their dough down since childhood.

Because that was one of my favorite things is that the layer of cheese was thicker when I was younger um and but I will say the taste is comparable and I'm not I would give it a c plus in terms of Hawaiian I I need to rank them against each other but this one so far it doesn't have a lot of sauce yeah I feel like I'm having a hard time tasting the sauce yeah it doesn't taste that good it's very boring but the first bite I feel like I'm having a hard time tasting the sauce. Yeah, it doesn't taste that good. It's very boring, it's bland. The first bite I'm like, ooh, it's yummy. So I wanna say the presentation is- It's cute.

It's cute. It's too perfect. Should we do- I like a real, like a- So I'm gonna give this pizza, okay, I think the first bite tasted really good. I would wanna keep eating it, but I'm not tasting sauce. I like that the crust is not too thick, not too thin. I would give this like a C.

This fucking sucks. Honestly, it's cold, George. That's George's fault. It's just not flavorful. It's not, it's like, I guess I like how all the things are, but I don't even taste, I like the bite of when you bite. Oh my God, there's a kiddie pool thing. Just shut up, George, give us Domino's.

Give your credit, give me the Domino's! F. F. Okay. Wait, I just wanna know before we start on a Domino's, are you already partial? Do you already know which one you're gonna like best? No, I literally have no idea.

I've heard though that Domino's has upped their game over the years and it's really good, but I also see Papa John's over there, which is, like, my favorite. Well, does Papa John the person get in the way of your decision making? No, no, no one will. No, I cannot be bought. I cannot be N-worded out of eating a slice of pizza, okay? Wait, Domino's looks really good.

I'm very excited with the presentation. Presentation looks way better. Because I do like irregularities. I don't like how neat and clean that last pizza was. I like the bubbles. Yeah, it looks good. I'm a crust person. Yeah, this looks a little bit burnt crust.

It's always very good. This is better. It's a little soft, too. That's a little too soft. I'm still having problems tasting sauce. Okay. But this is better. Now's a little soft, too. That's a little too soft. I'm still having problems tasting sauce. Okay. But this is better. Now that I've eaten this, that other pizza is such trash that I wouldn't even let them sponsor this podcast unless they really wanted to.

Again, while I am not an avid meat eater, I prefer the smaller bits of meat on the Pizza Hut. But overall, this is a B plus in my book. There's something tastier about this one. I taste the sauce more in this one too. You couldn't taste a fucking thing in that other one. The crust has like, it almost looks like it has little garlic flakes or something. Someone has paid attention to this crust. This crust has not been neglected.

I give it a B. Flat neglected i give it a b flat i give it a b plus i feel like your abs are coming out more see i don't know i also feel like it's hard to tell unless you try them you have to try them all but shove them all in your mouth at the same time oh my god what what happened to this place it looks like like it has... It looks good. I swear. Guys, this looks not good to me, but I'm very excited about this special garlic sauce. I just... This is not how I remember Papa John's.

There is an ant crawling on it, which I'm okay with. I don't blame Papa John's for that. We love ants. It's a black ant. Oh, it's really hard. Yeah, we're bringing back black living things to Papa John's. Wait, wait, wait.

It's very hard. Garlic sauce is coming out. Oh, wait. See, that's a Garlic sauce is coming out. Oh, wait. See, that's a cheat, the garlic sauce. No, but it doesn't matter because they offer it and they bring it in. Everyone, their fucking pizza box has a little place for it. It shouldn't be a cheat.

You're right. Right. It's like the other places could bring us garlic sauce. We're not stopping them. By the way, tomato sauce is going to make me chorro. Oh, yeah. Diarrhea. Oh, I'm going to be on the toilet for a long time.

Okay, this one is very tasty, but it doesn't, it's not as good as Domino's. Because you need the garlic sauce. Too much sauce. I just drank the garlic sauce. What? I didn't mean to. I was trying to open it with my teeth. Here, let me help you, baby.

Oh, my God, the garlic sauce. The garlic sauce. Oh, it's so good. It's, like, so good that it tastes nasty. There's a nastiness to it. Listen, if any of them were going to say the N-word and get away with it, it would be the one with the garlic sauce. I'm reaching back for my Domino's.

You're so happy doing this segment. I've never seen you happier. I'm reaching back for my Domino's. You're like being the most you I've ever seen you. Can we please do this every week? Now she's really being herself, she's trying to cry. Once a month, once a month I'll settle.

I'm gonna judge it without the garlic sauce. And I'm gonna give it a C plus with the garlic sauce. An A plus. It changes the whole experience. A plus for me. I'm giving the Papa John's a B because of the garlic sauce. I think the winner is ultimately Domino's. But I would be really curious next time to try Little Caesars.

And we should get local ones too. Oh shit, Little Caesars. That was my college. Pete, can you bring me that garlic sauce back? Yeah, I'll take that. Esther has departed and is now... Next time we do it, we need to have the garlic sauce from Papa John's

to try all of them with so it's an even... Even playing field. Wait, Annie Annie slow down you choked on your way here oh my god I almost died on my way you guys this has been quite a day for my abs you came in like I can't speak today cause I I couldn't talk for the entire

car ride ever Todd was so happy oh my god did I just damage my vocal cords okay we stopped at McDonald's the drive through and I was like i'll just get chicken sandwich eat it real fast whatever todd we were we're driving to the highway we drive by all these motorcycles and todd is always of course it does we just ate it so fast just did you just dipped i have already bad food i have to go home go back into your. Go back into the ocean water. Let me rub some tiger balm on your belly.

Will that help? Yeah. Does that help stomachache? It works on my balls. On your balls? Yeah. Tiger balm you can't put on balls? It's going to burn.

I know. You jump in the water. It feels even cooler. Oh, my God. Do not get a handjob from Kalilah. Holy shit. Unless you're into that. That is crazy.

It's like eucalyptus is that why bobby's always showing me his balls did you guys have fun when we were doing the pizza thing i had fun but not as much as you but i did i did get into it i hated it at first i feel like i just saw you come for the first time did you guys have fun with it i did we'll do it again it's okay so anyway so we're driving over And Todd is 11 years younger Than me as you know And he always is like Doing things To die before

Like he'll be like I want a motorcycle I'm like you're not dying Before me fucker Like there's a reason I'm So we drive by the motorcycles And I'm about to say

You can't die before me And I've just taken a bite And as I'm saying it I start choking And Todd starts He thinks he has to Heimlich me And I'm like

It's not that bad But I couldn't talk And I was I was coughing so much that I ended up throwing up into a plastic bag. What were you eating? Just a chicken sandwich from Crispy Chick. What part?

Deludged. McDonald's? The bread or the chicken? It was both. I mean, I really shoved it in fast. I was like- Was it McDonald's? Yeah.

I had to do Heimlich on my mom two years ago, so I have choking nightmares. Wow. Was that hard with her abs to get in there? Are you kidding me? She was trying to Heimlich herself first because she likes to muscle her way through everything. She went into a corner of a table? I don't know what she was doing, but she was doing some weird launching thing.

What was she eating? She was doing a Ric Flair Deadman's Draw. Do you guys remember when we tasted the pizza she's like drunk this is what happens when you don't drink she's never done drinking or drugs look at her and it wasn't sugar maybe the bread turned into sugar fast but guys this is really sad i know her so i know what's about to happen there's a crash coming really soon. Like in the next giggle. Ew. We should put that on only for now. I think it's time for me to go home.

I think we need a nap time. Do you see how it turned into that? I think we need to put her down for a nap. I think we need to put her down. Okay, so Esther, you know how you love the natural look? You're very against like, not against, but you're like, no, like I like it when, you know, not too much like cosmetic work, right? Yeah. Do you think, do you feel that way about Facetune or Photoshop?

Yeah, I don't like when you look at someone's photos on Instagram and you can tell that they're face tuned or photoshopped or like to picture perfect clear skin or like where those rosy cheek filters. I'm like, what am I? Why am I looking at this? If you're like, you're not a real person. I feel like one of those guys where they're like, I just like a real girl. Like I'm like that too.

What about the ones that you have that are face tuned? tuned well sometimes my hairstylist will take my photos like when you get glam sometimes the glam artists will take your picture and then they'll give it love yeah i have no control over that that's the one thing that really fucks with my self-esteem is when someone takes a picture and then they alter it but without telling me and so i see this image of myself and i'm like holy shit i'm this hot and then i see a reflection of myself of my actual self like in the mirror and then my i'm destroyed and so i think there's a danger i don't know which is worse for me like oh because i have a cousin who face tunes out of control well it's weird when you go unnatural too this is my take i think you can allow yourself some face tuning but you just don't you can't make yourself look like you've you like could never look you have to make yourself look like if if i face tune it's

gonna be like me mid-pandemic i'm not not going to give you even pre-pandemic. I'm not going to like, I'm going to give you like me two weeks ago. You know what I mean? Not like, you can't do something that's like too much. You also just never want to be in a position where you meet someone in person and they're like, oh. Like I always want to avoid that. Well, now we don't have a choice because we're obviously on video every week. So it's like people do know what we look at.

They know about my abs. You know I got them, guys. Sorry. So it's not like we can lie too much. But also like when I was on dating sites for literally 10 seconds, it was so fucking horrific. Wait, which one were you on? I was on Raya. My friend Karen Margolis calls it rich asshole, young asshole.

Follow her. She's very funny. asshole young asshole um follow her she's very funny and then um i was on uh i did bumble but bumble was really gross i'm like i need a man dude what sponsor us bumble okay or sponsor us i i just want i like men to hit on me so yeah i have to hit on them it's like no oh my god i totally disagree why are you kidding what's your? I go for the guy I want. He's not going to come find me. The guy you want doesn't think he can get you. No, I don't get hit on.

And I say this all, I like have never been hit on. Because they're scared of getting arrested. I like to meet in the middle. I like to, for someone to come some of the way and then for me. Be in the middle or meet in the middle? Both. I'm a middle. But I do, I do the work. I'm a middle um but i do i do the

work i'm very assertive yeah in terms of dating and like liking someone i tell them how i think what i feel about them very same i don't want to be chased because if you're chasing me you're just getting a high off of a chase and once you catch me you're gonna chase somebody else you just need a balance a little bit of balance like todd wasn't making a move at first and it was making me because i'm like i'm not doing the fucking first lean and I need you to like who can take what you need what who kissed who oh I think I said hocus to I was like hocus pocus what the fuck is this we're gonna do yeah hocus pocus too let's do that we do it it's coming out uh no he did because eventually I just was like like there was like a whole hangout where it didn't happen I was like

I'm gonna fucking kill this kid and then but then the minute we hooked up he like had his playstation over i'm like are you kidding me i went out of town i was i was on the road i was on the road over valentine's day and we had just been hooking up for like maybe one week two weeks and we've been friends before so it wasn't like a brand new person but he was like he lived really far away from the comedy store where he worked at the time so he was like can I just stay here he's like you probably need a house sitter right so I have him stay there and I might have even been talking to you about it but I was like oh my god what if he like I didn't know him well enough I was like maybe what if he brings like a girl for Valentine's Day back to my apartment or something and then it was way worse than bringing a girl he

brought his fucking playstation I came back and I was like all right I guess you live here after you and I are the same did you start living with Dave like pretty early oh she had to fire her grown nanny Bobby and I are lesbians we shacked up real yeah I move fast I have to move fast or else I have to move on I have to move fast I've always done that too and it's so funny with Todd I was gonna be like well first of all I was gonna break up with Todd so don't if I remember that it that too. And it's so funny with Todd. I was going to be like, well, first of all, I was going to break up with Todd. So don't remember that. It's okay. He knows it.

Oh, that's right. Cause he thought it was just going to be, well, I just was like, he's fucking 25. Like what am I going to do? I think it was 24 at the time.

Um, I was like, what am I going to do with this kid? I'm busy. I'm ambitious. And he was like, don't you want someone to take help you? I was like,

no, I don't like help. And I'm like, please do everything for me. But so he is such a fucking liar I'm like where's the help remember you promised me all the help which he does help me but I'm like I want everything does he still cook and clean um he doesn't cook and I remember well I kept telling him like well he was my like housewife and then he I told him like our deal was

that I do nothing and you do everything and it wasn't contingent on who has a deal. Yes. Do you want to be he was the one begging to be my boyfriend. I was like, OK, well, you have to do everything. So then he tricked me and now I'm in love and I can't get rid of him. And now I'm like, I guess I cook. I guess I cook now. And the cleaning, we just live in filth until he figures it out.

And he's like, takes a break from work. But I was like, this plan was not contingent on whether you got work or not. Now he has like this job on Netflix. He's doing all this stuff. And it's like, sorry, dude, I didn't say that it mattered whether you had a job.

You just have to do all this. So we live in squalor. Well, this has been a joyous day with my slugs in their bikinis. We got so ripped. We got to wear bikini tops we got to eat pizza yeah it was good it was a good day for everyone and i don't want you guys i know you guys wanted to see bottoms too so i don't want to like keep you guys from seeing bottom so i'll show you my bottom oh yeah okay you can see my ass all right do we officially sign off for the first time with our new name?

Oh, we can. I don't have anything to show, right? I'm just in sweatpants and this is my top. She's bottomless. If you guys could see it, it's just bush everywhere. I don't have underwear. I barely wear underwear. Yeah, let's sign off with a new name, which we're really excited about. Yes, guys. Our new name. I think it captures our essence even better. I think it captures the day we spend together.

Trash Tuesday. You know, every week of yours, you'll know that come Tuesday, there'll be a little trash waiting for you at 9 a.m. Pacific time on YouTube. A little garbage. And remember also today is hashtag national donut holding. It's not. It is. And you guys decide whether it is or it isn't. Okay. And if you let her win, you're in trouble. So please sound off in the comments, like this video, share with your friends, let them know about Trash Tuesday. and I guess now we'll have a stripper episode coming up check out our only fans check out our only fans follow us on Instagram and also guys our little donut holes um thank you so much give us reviews on iTunes too we'll see you in

the garbage slugs we'll see you in the garbage, slugs. We'll see you next week.