Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Slug Tank Ft. Caroline Goldfarb (Glowing Up) and Rudy Jules!

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

It’s finally here - the hilarious & brilliant Caroline Goldfarb joins us this week for a Glowing Up Reunion & it’s everything. PLUS Gen Z Correspondent Jules is in the stu to hang - I hope you’re ready for some tinned fish content because its coming at ya hard & fast, along with Utah Soda TikTok girlies, Arbys & the squad answers questions from the slugs about all things BEAUTY!  *THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY* **BETTERHELP** - Take a moment, with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/TRASHTUESDAY today to get 10% off your first month.  Betterhelp.com/trashtuesday ***VISIT Ebboceanclub.com to check the new wave in performance haircare.We made a code for listeners. SLUGS15 FOR 15% OFF FIRST ORDERVisit Ebboceanclub.com*** FOLLOW US: SUBSCRIBE TO OUR YOUTUBE!! FOLLOW TRASH TUESDAY INSTAGRAM FOLLOW TRASH TUESDAY TIKTOK FOLLOW ESTHER & KHALYLA  Khalyla Kuhn - INSTAGRAM Esther Povitsky -INSTAGRAM THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: **BETTERHELP** - Take a moment, with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/TRASHTUESDAY today to get 10% off your first month.  Betterhelp.com/trashtuesday THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:       00:00 Medical pedicures 00:40 Welcome to the show - Caroline Goldfarb 04:40 Welcome Our Gen Z Correspondent Jules!!!! 06:52 Caroline & Esther Spend Hours Planning Business Ventures 08:35 Caroline is a genius who co-owns Fish Wife 14:00 Caroline Pitches Her Biz Idea 18:00 Motherhood is funny 24:00 Esther got a Full Body MRI 28:00 Jules is Constipated  38:40 Trying Japanese Snacks and Bananas 45:06 Mexican Police Woman Breast Feeds Victim’s Baby 49:00 Is it Problematic to Call My Daughter a Princess 55:00 Hemorrhoids and Styes 01:03:36 Slugs Ask Beauty/Glowing Up Q’s 01:17:00 Wrapping up   LISTEN! LISTEN TO TRASH ON ITUNES LISTEN TO TRASH ON SPOTIFY LISTEN & FOLLOW OUR OTHER PODCASTS TigerBelly Podcast w/ Bobby Lee  Rick and Esther Have a Time  Creds: Exec. Producer & Showrunner: Stella Young and Tiny Legends Productions Shot and Edited By: Guy Robinson and Sean Wanless Edited By: Andrew Tarr (Audio) & Guy Robinson (Video) Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee  Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  This Video Contains Paid Advertising

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offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details do you guys ever look at me and think that like esther can you leave esther you're the callous foot that we need you're the real nature girl oh my god babe i didn't realize you were still here oh esther hey this show is sponsored by better Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash trash Tuesday. Wait, have you guys ever heard of a medical pedicure? No. Say much more.

They're like when you have problem feet. I don't know if you guys relate to that. I'm sort of like pre-problem feet. I'm getting there. Like bunions and groans. Not quite podiatrist. Not quite podiatrist, but I think they are offered at podiatrist offices. They're covered by insurance. It's a pedicure, but it's like they really get in there. Is this though where they shave the dead skin off? That's the tip of the iceberg, babe. Well, can I say I have a very, very strong opinion on that. And I believe you keep all your dead skin. Never, ever. What? You are to never remove an inch of it. That is like your calluses are what get you from place to place in life

as a dancer. Babe, even lizards and snakes shed once a year year you do have to get rid of it at some point no no no no you want that that's your grip that's what I don't understand do you know how sexy it is to rub your feet against a man when you're first dating and your fucking dead skin cells just

shed on his dark obviously dark sheets we don't want your skin to catch on a man's sheets. That to me is such a turnoff for everyone involved. Like when you can hear yourself on his sheets because you're so dry and crusty. That's me. Me too.

That's me because I'm like nature girl. So like you, I'm like, I need these calluses. They serve a purpose. Exactly. So you're on my side. I am on your side. But there is a definite downside to that. When you're in my side. I am on your side, but there is a definite downside to that. When you're in the dating pool, it just doesn't work. Yeah, Esther, we're not all like

wifed up 10 years in with Dave King. Like some of us are trying to seduce men still in the early stages. I think if you want to seduce a man though, it's like, here's, that's what. Tell us about seducing a man again. How would you do it today? I just want to say that like this pursuit of like baby soft feet is wrong. I'm with you. Really? I do. Because I feel like you have a history.

You have a point, but you're not making it right. What you're saying, and I do agree, is like it is sort of a it's a losing battle like you're always gonna lose the battle but you have to keep fighting that's what I'm saying because the dead skin will always come back like if you really are to have baby smooth feet you have to basically slather your feet in Vaseline every single night and like put socks on but it's and then what there's an earthquake in the middle of the night and you get up and you're like, woo, and you can't run? Exactly.

You're not safe. You can't act. It's an unrealistic foot standard, but sometimes there's a time and place and you need to shave the dead skin off. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, we're not in the era of like just stepping on rusty nails

and getting tetanus all day. We're not, but you want to be ready is my thing. For carpentry? Wait we also let's introduce today um we just when caroline's here like i just get too excited about feet um you guys i'm so excited to be here it's not even funny we have a visionary We have a voice. She was my co-host on a beauty podcast called Glowing Up. R.I.P. That we thought no one was listening to, but recently have realized it had a cult following. And beyond that. Cult following means like 150 really dedicated people.

And that's what it was. I think more than that, because every single, having been in the beauty space for the past two years, every single person I've come across listened to you both. We sort of, we were the first and you don't ever want to be the vision. Like you don't want to be the pioneers. You don't want that. The pioneers are the ones who die. Like the people who first came west died and that was us in the sort of comedy beauty space. We were first, but we died. We did, though, do a nationwide Sephora tour where we were paid in gift cards, and we were the happiest people on the planet from that. I was like, I don't need the gift card just to have the honor of performing

in the hair section of a Chicago Sephora. With my mom picking us up and dropping us off. Or no, the Uber. She Ubered with us. So fun. We, it's like glowing up. R.I.P. Legendary. That was our podcast that we started when we were writing together on Alone Together. And then now Caroline has since gone on to write for, like, literally the coolest, biggest shows.

Chad. Chad with Dave. Chad with Dave. Chad with Dave. And currently on Sex Lives of College Girls. Ooh, Jules loves that show. By the way, we should probably also introduce. Have at it. My Argenzi correspondent for the day.

She is, I think, the true star of Bad Friends. Please welcome my niece, Jules. Jules. I think everyone thinks she's the true star. I think the true star of Bad Friends. Please welcome my niece, Jules. Jules. I think everyone thinks she's the true star. I think so too. She's the reluctant star, but she is the truest star.

But you love that show. I love it. Have you met Rene Rapp? I guess I'd say I consider her a personal friend. That gets you a lot of clout with Gen Z when you drop Rene Rapp. Really? She's so hot. Like she's, I want to.

Gen Z loves Rene Rapp. What is She's so hot. Like, she's, I wanna... Gen Z loves Rene Rapp. What is it about her? She just doesn't give a f***. And she's just so confident. But she's with the other lesbian girl and both of them are like so hot together. Like threesome was a must for me. I'll put in a good word.

Yeah. Just kidding. Jules's fantasy land. Rene Rapp and... Must for me. I'll put in a good word. Yeah. Just kidding. I cheated. Jules's fantasy land. Renee rap and? I don't know, but right now, Harry Styles. What? Girl, that's so millennial.

That is very millennial. Harry? Wait, oh no. Are you a zillennial secretly? Yeah, I'm a zillennial. Oh, that's not. What is a zillennial? That's less clout than just being straight Gen Z. Zillennial is cusp.

No. No. But I really do identify with and I sort of speak conversational Gen Z. I'm not fluent. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And I really think Gen Z has it right in terms, especially fashion. Some jewels can teach us.

Is Riz still cool? riz uh it's okay but do you guys say like slay purr like slay and do you say that like at the end of your sentences i've never said slay not often like purr oh that's purr that's slay do you know i've never heard purr yeah i've heard purr but never used it don't know plans wait is per good or bad it's good oh it's good i mean i say it all the time i said i did it good yeah oh shit okay per per okay got it it's like per like a cat yeah slay per okay can i put you guys a new business idea i had so esther one of esther and i's things we bond over are being like complete fantasy entrepreneurs in our own mind. And every time Esther and I have had a sleepover,

we've stayed up till 3am pitching each other insane business ideas that would literally never work. And we go to sleep and we're so tired that we're like, this is it. Like this is the one. One time we had an idea for what was essentially dry bar that has already existed for like 30 plus years. We were like, we should invent a place where you can just go and get your hair done. Just hair. And we were like, oh my God. It was like 5 a.m. She had a flight in 45 minutes.

We're in my skokie childhood bedroom. It's one of my all-time greatest memories. I know, same. Wait, before you pitch this idea, you do remember that even before we met, we were in a business together, the three of us, which is why our group chat has a name. Oh, wait. Sexy Little Ugly Girls. What was the business? Because we actually already have –

There's 80 potential businesses between the three of us. Hold on. I know you think you're pitching us a business, but don't forget two weeks ago, we had a side combo of pitching a separate business. A separate business. This is my love language though. I think fake starting businesses, that's friendship to me. But you also literally started Fishwife, which is like, there's a billboard in my neighborhood now. So it's sort of a joke, but it's also sort of not. You have a huge business. You have to throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks.

You do. And it's sort of angel investor mentality. Like you can't just invest in one company and think it's going to hit it big. You have to invest in like 20 plus. So for me, my version of that is like inventing 20 plus companies. And certainly one of them will become real. Like it's a numbers game. Shout out to Fishwife.

Best branding. Best name. Best everything. to Fishwife. Best branding, best name, best everything. That's Caroline's baby. It's so beautiful. And I eat it pretty much every day. What's your favorite product these days? The salmon. Still? Are you kidding? The smoked salmon. Yes. It's so good. And no other brand makes that exact kind of thing. It's so special to Fishwife because I feel like you can get tuna. That's almost easy, but salmon is special. What's your favorite? That's such a good question. I really like our sardines. Oh, mackerel is mine. Mackerel is so good. Mackerel is so good. I love everything. I'm such a freak for tinfish, obviously. I started a tinfish company.

You started the tinfish movement. I started the tin fish movement, but I really am. I mean, back in glowing up days, Esther thought I was crazy because I would talk about eating sardines all the time. I was like, you don't understand. Like everyone should be eating sardines. They're the ultimate hot girl food. Ultimate and sustainable, Esther. But do you eat the eyeballs? Cause she eats eyeballs. Of course I'm Asian. Eyeballs first. Eyeballs first. You go attack eyeballs first. Eyeballs first. Cheeks second. Always.

Cheek is like, I couldn't, chef's kiss. Why are these the dirty freaks? I'm like, why am I into you guys? We're the normal ones, by the way. Like, if you took a poll

of the entire, of the entire earth, we'd be the normal ones. If you took a poll of fish eaters, it's cheeks and eyeballs. Always. You girls are going to live forever. It's unfair. But the cheek is tender, especially when you have- The cheek is the best part. Yeah. The guy who illustrates our packaging is this amazing LA-based

artist named Danbo. I think his Instagram is danbodraws. He's amazing. And look, I don't know, have you ever been to Spain or Portugal? Yeah. So you know that tinned fish is a huge part of the culinary culture there. And like I grew up eating it. And when I traveled there, I was like, oh my God, now it's such a thing. But there were restaurants that had tinned fish and wine. And there were stores that only sold local Portugal tinned fish. And the packaging was so beautiful. Like they were collector's items.

local Portugal tinned fish and the packaging was so beautiful. Like they were collector's items. So I was like, why doesn't something like that exist in America that's beautiful and healthy and sustainable? Like I just had, I just so saw it clearly in my mind. And I, I mean, I don't know. I love it. For us, it's a little different because you grew up eating canned fish, right? Is it the sardinas at that? Sardinas, yeah. We don't like to say the C word. We prefer tinned. Sorry.

But we don't have tinned fish. We have canned fish. There is a difference. I'm not going to lie to you. There is a huge difference. Oh, there is? Yes. To me, like as a fish eater, it's like canned fish.

Right. Canned fish is we eat scraps. Cheap on sale. Right. And it's like just sloppy tomato-based sauce. Is it senorita? It's not good. Senorita sardines.

And we throw it over like some cheap noodles. And it's basically like our poor man's delight. But very big difference. Can and tinned. This is sophisticated stuff. So tinned is typically like a sophisticated option. Yes, very. In my mind. In my mind, there is a difference. Can and tinned. This is sophisticated stuff. I get it. So tinned is typically like a sophisticated option. Yes, very. In my mind, in my mind, there is a difference. I know exactly what you're talking about. And I love cheap sardines. Like when their sardines are on sale

at any ethnic grocery store, every ethnic grocery store like has their own canned fish. And I love it all. I'll eat anything. I'll put anything in my body if it's fish. I am a little squeamish. And I always think about that. Like, could I, I mean, you live in Hawaii. So do you like ever like fish and do activities like that? I actually like kill the fish myself. All I know about spearfishing, I learned on Survivor, but you see them spear the fish and they're like, it's not like salmon and trout and like things that I typically eat. It's like weird, tropical, colorful fish. And I'm like yeah I don't know if I would I mean it depends because I spearfish here too in California and here we get the yellowtail and the mahi well we call them dorados yes we get the dorados we get um white sea bass right now is white sea bass season do you eat it are you yeah

of course I don't just shoot to for fun I don't know i should to eat yeah no you um so um there was i think um but also calico bass is really good a lot of people prefer like you know like the the bigger blue water fish but yellowtail is one of my absolute favorite do you like rolling up to zuma and spearfishing where are you spearfishing? Sometimes we usually take a boat out, but sometimes offshore too. What? Yeah. You are so cool. I know. But so fish is my life. It's like my... I'm being outfished. I'm a fish entrepreneur. Can I give you fish to smoke? I'm a fishtrepreneur. Can I give you fish to smoke?

Please. I have to buy. I want to buy a smoker for my house and start casual smoking. Do you guys ever look at me and think that like. Esther, can you leave? Esther, you're the callous foot that we need. You're the real nature girl. Oh, my God, babe. I didn't realize you were still here.

Oh, Esther, hey. I didn't get to pitch you my business. Yes, that's what we wanted. Believe me, we're not forgetting that. Okay. So just to go full circle on it, a lot of fake businesses and real business are between the three of us. This is a completely separate business. Neither of you have heard about this. Oh my God. But I just want to say it's always an open door for either of you to get involved. And that goes for everyone in this room. Oh my God. category. It's kind of a guilty pleasure. Huge category already. I know you guys are really healthy, hot girls, like, but I'm telling you out in these streets, girlies are still drinking diet soda, including myself. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm a Diet Coke drinker. Like, I wear that

loud and proud. I saw one of my favorite TikTokers this morning go to the McDonald's drive-thru just for a Diet Coke. I do that all the time. You do? All the time. I feel like Diet Coke never died, though. I agree. Diet Coke's forever cool. I feel like you have everything you need with the caffeine. It's still caffeinated, so. Absolutely. And I love seltzers, too. I identify with Esther in that. I'm a beverage freak. Are you a poppy, olipop, pop culture girl? I'm forever a Spindrift girly. I have real brand loyalty to Spindrift, but to me, Olipop, Poppy, they all offer such different things. Like to me, those are three different sodas. Really? They really are though. Wait, how would, hold on. How is Olipop and Poppy different? Do you really have an argument there? I really do. Poppy just has apple cider vinegar

and in Canada they can't, on the can, it doesn't say any health benefits. In Canada, they're like, yeah, this is just apple cider vinegar. It's not pre or probiotics. It's nothing. Are we really drinking it for that? Because I just, I'm like, okay, less sugars, less stuff. I mean, that's enough. I'm not really drinking it for the probiotic. Yeah, me either. But I did just see there was, just to clarify, there's a lawsuit against Poppy because they- Esther's suing Poppy. It is, me and my dad. But it's because they claim that they have probiotics and they don't.

So are you guys both saying that Olipop is, in fact, better than Poppy, or what are you saying? Different. What's the difference? Poppy is more tangy because of the apple cider vinegar. It's a little more, like, zippy to me. Olipop's more of, I mean, they have, Olipop has way more flavors, I feel, but they're more like creamy and substantial. Like they're almost like a meal. Like poppy's a little lighter to me. I find Olipop, I'm not kidding, to be a

little heavy. There's like Jerusalem artichoke. I do agree. There's like, yeah, there's like, there's a lot of fiber. So I'm a beverage freak and Esther knows this. I got really sucked into something called Utah soda culture. Do you know about this? No, not at all. So I learned about it on TikTok. She took it too far. I'm about to take it a lot farther, babe. In Utah, there's a lot of Mormon girlies. I only know about the Utah curls, which are going out of style. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Good to know. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Like hides my Utah curls. So in Utah, the girlies, a lot of them are Mormon.

A lot of them don't drink alcohol. Some of them don't drink coffee. A lot of the modern ones do. So their big vice is soda. And they have invented their own insular beverage soda culture where there are a bunch of chains of basically drive-through soda shops, but not like in the 50s way that you think of a soda shop. And it's only drive-through and you get a giant soda.

They have every flavor, like mostly the girlies are getting diet and they add shit into it, which at first sounds kind of crazy. But once you try it, you're like, why aren't we doing this all the time? The thing that they're really known for is a Diet Coke with a bunch of fresh lime in it and coconut coffee mate or like coconut syrup and cream. Like it kind of varies place to place. But it's like a tropical pina colada take on a Diet Coke. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. They'll do seltzers and they'll like squeeze a fresh orange in it and a fresh lemon. And they have every Tarani syrup.

I'm not like a crazy Tarani girly, but like their secret menu hacks. They have their whole menu with like a million different mix-in options. Like it's kind of mind boggling, but the girlies are addicted. They go like two or three times a day. It's a car culture, kind of like LA. So you're always driving around and like living your cute little life. And styrofoam is not illegal there the way it is in California. So all the drinks are served in styrofoam, which I love because it keeps it colder for longer. You're a styrofoam lover? I mean.

I cannot. I have a sensory aversion to it. I like the sensory. The way she's selling it though, I want some right now. I know. You're making me want styrofoam soda. I do have a bit of a. I have the opposite of an aversion. I have the urge to take, not to eat it, but to sink your teeth into it a little bit.

Maybe a little bite, maybe a little get down my throat. It's so uncomfortable. Oh God. Okay, let's get the styrofoam. The styrofoam's not, let's not focus on the styrofoam. Let's not get hung up on that. Let's see my sidebar about the styrofoam after. Okay, we'll offline about styrofoam and wanting to eat it a little bit.

So I'm obsessed. And it's sort of adjacent to Stanley Cup culture. Like I learned about Stanley Cups first through Utah Soda TikTok. Is that where it started, the Stanleys? It kind of did start in the homeland, in the heartland. It's not like an LA thing. Yeah, no, for sure. The weird Christian girlies in the heartland really started it.

Well, they're really like- Powerful. Yeah. Taylor Swift much? Like, we've got to listen to the white heartland girlies, you know? The coasts are kind of losing their strengths. Well, you know, you got to give and take. You know, we can't invent everything.

Point being that I do not know why this culture isn't in LA and hasn't taken off. I don't think Utah and LA are a one-to-one. Obviously, there's so many differences, but LA is obsessed with beverage culture. I'm getting $10 coffees. I'm going to Air One and buying a can of God knows what. And if there were a place in LA that I could just drive through and get a little pick-me-up, a soda mixed in with stuff, a diet soda, maybe even like a seltzer with fresh lemon, fresh like muddled peaches. I mean, the sky's the limit. It doesn't all have to be diet soda. But the point is, I'm like having a vision. A drive-through location. I definitely feel like if I'm like driving and I have to drive across town

for a stupid errand, the thing that's going to motivate me is if I can get a drive-thru stop and get a Diet Coke with fresh lime and fresh coconut creamer. It's an alternative to stopping at Cha Cha Matcha or something and getting a matcha. And I think it needs to exist. Has to be drive-thru. That's the key. There's like no indoor seating. Maybe you have a little outdoor patio. But think about it. It hits so many cultures. It's like teens.

Like can you imagine like girlies getting their license and like you go to this place and you're with your friends. It's like a young activity. It's a sober activity. Can there be boba? There can't be boba. No, boba is...

That's kind of feels really different, babe. No, there could be boba. It's very early stages. I think we're boba. No, boba is... That kind of feels really different, babe. No, there could be boba. It's very early stages. I think we're boba'd out. There's a lot of boba places there. I'm boba'd out, to be honest. Dirty sodas, thank you. And this is no different than us doing like the suicide drink,

right? Putting the orange bang with... That's the tip of the iceberg. That's the origin story. Sort of. story is like us experimenting with mixtures i think that's what you'll that'll be your part of the story when we do our press interviews for launch no that's good let's start thinking about our connections to soda culture right now everybody in this room should have a story by the end of this podcast but it's like think about it you put cream and sugar and like cinnamon i put like crazy shit in my coffee

and once you like get over the kind of like initial like what putting stuff in your soda that seems weird I'm telling you it's very good and it's like it doesn't have to be creamy like a lot of it's just fresh fruit or you know it's delicious one of my I currently have an at-home concoction that I do which is a lemon lime olipop or poppy, the new flavor, with straight up pomegranate juice and then maybe like a little bit of just a regular sparkling water just to sort of like tone it down a little. Do it in ice. It's so good. It's like a lime pomegranate sparkly drink. Oh, and you can actually employ like instead of alcohol mixologists, like you can start a whole movement of a different kind of mixologist. And you can, you know, you can do like the Erewhon collabs with like this is Esther's tonic.

Yes. Yeah. Are you guys like, are you guys seeing it? I'm seeing it. Yeah. You're seeing something, right? Yeah. I'm going to, let me transfer all of Day's money into your account right now.

I'd love to get. I better get something. Jules, is this something? I feel like it's going to be like a hit. Really? I think so. You're seeing the vision. It's convenient. And I hate just going inside like a coffee shop and the drive-thru. Right.

Makes it so much better. Also, it's wholesome. Wholesome. It's wholesome. Yeah. And I think Gen Z specifically is looking for candy stores and soda shops. They love candy stores. Yes. This is a huge thing right now with Gen Z.

There's this candy store in New York. Bon Bon. Yeah. Bon Bon. That's the one in New York. Yeah. There's like lines out the door. I think I'm in. Yeah. We're all in. We're Bon Bon. Yeah, Bon Bon. That's the one in New York. Yeah. And there's like lines out the door. I think I'm in, Caroline.

We're all in. We're feeling it. Yeah. Okay. I was so excited to pitch it to you guys and it went better than I could have ever imagined. But it's because you're a genius. And if all the slugs can comment below if they're in as well. Yes.

Let us know. Yeah. And I need like ideas for a name. I don't know. Like I want, I need the slugs to help with this business idea. Let us know. Yeah. And I need like ideas for a name. I don't know. Like I want, I need the slugs to help with this business idea. Let's workshop this. I mean, let's see this to completion. Okay.

Let's do it. Quarterly check-ins. This is, by the way, pretty similar to the vibe of like when Esther and I think of fake businesses. Like now you see like we're leaving with action items. Yeah. You see how real it gets. It gets really real.

Can we talk about this past week? I did a crazy thing and I got a full body MRI, one of those prenuvo scans. I want to hear everything. Tell us about the edge of my seat. I'm pretty. That's what the MRI said. Oh my God, Esther. No, but basically, I'm very overall, very pleased. Like they didn't find any of the things that I was like hypochondriacistly freaked out about. It was like a few small things. Like there's like a spot on my spleen that like. A spot on your spleen. These are what we call incidental findings. 100%. What can it find? Can it find early stages of cancer? Yeah, that's what I believe. That's what they say.

And that's sort of like the whole like magic of it is that if it does find that. But I do overall feel like a sense of peace from doing it. Like there was, oh, and I have dense breast tissue. Very, very common. I do too. Which is why. Yawn next. That is the most boring finding which is why i think like i don't know why they still insist that women get sick of

hearing about dense breast tissue yeah because when you get the the regular breast screening the mammogram they smush your titties when everyone can just go directly into an ultrasound, I think, which is more conclusive findings, which is why I sent you to Dr. Richardson. Because I'm like, hey, if you have a lump, don't even bother waiting for insurance or an appointment. Go straight. And I wish all women had access to just someone with an ultrasound or a breast doctor who's like, okay, actually, this is fine.

I mean, I could check either of yours for you. I'm not licensed, but I can feel around in there. I get my cell phone flashlight. It's not perfect, but it'll get the job done. Just kidding. So basically what happened like a couple years ago is I found like a small lump and obviously texted Nurse Kalilah. So she did go to nursing school, just so you know. I forgot, by the way, the most like painfully unqualified i've forgotten everything but you're keeping me fresh you're

keeping me fresh and having you as a patient so i went to her breast doctor they did an ultrasound they found us it was just a cyst yeah and so that's also something that showed up on my pre which is i have like my my titties have cysts in them. But apparently that's not a big deal, right? It's normal. Yeah. Cysts are okay. Yeah, I have dead cyst breasts too. You do? Yeah. They're just lumpy. You just want to be like me or what? I know. I was like, give me the estrus special. They can put cysts in. It was really expensive. But you look great. Thank you. They look really good. Thank thank you so much not to freak you out but what's the spot on the spleen yeah what does a spot mean we i'll let's pull it up a spot on your

spleen wait why is your spleen and what it's on the left side and it's a very large organ but large yeah it breaks down rbcs like red blood cells i heard rbs like absolutely what i heard don't you miss rbs's? I think about it probably once a day. Did they close? Why do we miss it? No, they don't, but they just aren't as, you know. They're not as prevalent. Yeah. Horsey sauce? Okay. An indeterminate splenic lesion. Doesn't sound great. But it sounds beautiful, whatever it is. Will you read this? Yeah. And tell me what you think.

Minor finding. Minor. So that's good, right? Yeah. We detected an indeterminate lesion. The lesion is located in the superior medial portion of the spleen. The lesion measured 0.5 cm in diameter. Now everyone knows about my spleen.

Statistically, this most likely represents a hemangioma or cyst. However, it's too small to characterize and remains indeterminate. So it's like the size of the tip of a pencil. Right. And they say majority of splenic lesions are benign. It's probably like a piece of gummy candy that got stuck in there. It's like not a big deal. So are you worried or no?

Does she seem worried? But you said that you were just a minute ago. She was like, well, the spleen is big. What is it? No, but the lesion is... Are my Arby's cells okay? I think you're fine. Your Arby's cells are really low.

You got to go get Arby's. I'm not liking the numbers I'm seeing right here. Wait, why are your Arby's cells so high? Oops. Oh, it says, Caroline, your blood type is roast beef? Jules, would you get one of these? I know you shit blood on occasion. Oh, I haven't pooped in like three four days okay why are we talking about that we need to get it we need to get to the bottom of our constipation like now i'm engaged i'm locked in

i'm gonna figure this out well before we move on prenuvo.com slash Esther. Okay, yeah. All right. Whatever. $300 off your scan. Babe, they're like $2,800. $300 off. That's like not going to make a difference. They're $2,500. It's not even taxed. They're so expensive. But I'm really happy that you got one for free, babe.

Congratulations. Anyway, let's talk about this constipation. What is going on? Are you taking magnesium? Are you doing anything? No, no, no, no, no. What's your fiber intake? Oh, yes.

Please ask her because we fight about this every day do you eat gummies i bought gummies no we're not talking about gummies i'm talking like kind of are you eating vegetables let's talk roughage let's start with the food pyramid before we get to like our bespoke air one fiber gummies are you eating vegetables i'm talking leafy greens let's start with breakfast What do we eat for breakfast, Jules? Matcha latte. Okay, so there's zero grams of fiber in that. Let's go to lunch.

Lunch. Tortilla with cheese. Eggs. Okay. A lot of beige. And that's it. Where's the green? I hate greens.

There it is. Babe, you're going to have to increase that fiber somehow. If you go to ag1.com slash Esther. Esther, what has happened to you? You're like a human shell. I'm just kidding. I do not. I do not.

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that's what it is, maintenance. I mean, look, I'm a frequent mentee bee, girly. I break down a lot. Things overwhelm me a lot. And what better way to keep your grass green than therapy? It's been an indispensable part of my life. And if you're thinking of giving therapy a try, try BetterHelp. I definitely have had the postpartum anxiety kick in. And I'm maybe going to go back on my Lexapro. I haven't decided yet. But I'm also starting with talk therapy because I feel like that's just like the basic thing that helps.

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it looks in my shower and that's slugs 15 for 15 off your order so that ebb knows you came from as a slug visit eboceanclub.com. I like carrots. But that's not enough roughage. Not nearly enough. That you have your beta carotene, but you're not getting the fiber. Can you do like a green smoothie? I'll try. No, no, no. We're going to figure this problem out. I'm not judging you. I'm solutions oriented.

I'm brainstorming. Okay. I'm working with you right now. It feels like everyone in this room has forgotten that I've struggled with constipation for years. I'm a pro in this area. No one's really giving, I've struggled with constipation for years. I'm a pro in this area. No one's really giving me my chance to speak. All right, Esther, show us what you got. We're listening. I think we all can agree that a magnesium supplement at night would really help her get things going. Am I wrong? Correct. But you have to understand a mindset of a 22-year-old is not like supplement oriented.

Like I have bought her Magox, Magcite. And I constantly remind her, are you taking? I'm taking magnesium citrate and I still can't poo. Okay, what about for breakfast? I don't think the solution is magnesium. Like I'm trying to get to the core of it and she's not eating vegetables. She has no roughage and bulk in her body. There's nothing to poop. It's just a quesadilla that's stuck in her spleen. Oh, wait. Is that what mine is?

Oh, there's just a quesadilla in there. Okay. That feels so much better. You swallowed a whole can of poppy by accident. It's just stuck in your spleen. But this is a really, really basic suggestion. What about just embracing a Metamucil cracker? It's like a very old person kind of basic sort of throwback, call back to the heartland. Is this like psyllium husk? I think that's, it's got shit like that in it, but it's like a fiber bomb basically. And they come in chocolate and apple. I've heard the apple one's really good. And even maybe just like one a day. And it's basically like eating a cookie, but that's just a fiber bomb because she needs stuff to poop. Do you guys know what I'm saying?

Yeah, of course. Like not to be so aggressive about your body and your poop, but I'm more passionate about this in the business. Well, okay. What about, I have a breakfast pitch. Tell me if you would eat this because I eat this every day and it's really helped me get regular, which is I do a sliced apple. Honey crisp is my favorite. Great with fiber. Yes.

And then I make a concoction of whole milk, full fat, whatever, Greek yogurt and peanut butter, stir that up, fluff it up. And then I dip the apple slices into that. And it's so delicious. And it's like, I wake up looking forward to it every morning. Would you? For breakfast, I don't like, I like savory things. I don't like it when it's like sweet.

Yeah, so Filipino breakfast. This is what a Filipino breakfast looks like. This is what we grew up on. It's basically rice, dried fish, eggs. Perfect breakfast. Yeah. So I mean, tinned fish is also not out of the question, right? If sardines are available, then we eat tinned fish with what? Corned beef. Corned beef. I love that. So a lot of big savory things like sweet, anything for breakfast is something I had to learn when I— I hate sweet breakfast.

I'm always savory. By the way, you guys are treating me like I eat fucking a stack of pancakes. It's an apple. You're outnumbered by brown and you're outnumbered by women of color right now. I'm half Persian, half Persian. We accept. We accept. Thank you.

It's an apple. What about as a snack? Esther's like, you go to apples.com slash Esther. Dot slash peanut butter. Also, I'm not like a big fan of fruits. Yeah, she doesn't eat fruit either. Here's the problem. Guys, it's been a slow process to try to get her.

When did you move here, Jules? When you were 16, right? Yeah. So it's been about six years of me telling her, like a freaking naggy mom, you have to eat your fruits and vegetables. And it's not happening. She's not going to do it. I can see this already. Like we've tried a lot of solutions.

It's not going to be supplements. It's not going to be fruits and vegetables. I feel like I've cracked something with the Metamucil cracker. Back to our business of soda drive-thrus. Are we going to have a fiber option for the young girls who can't shit? Olipop collab. Yeah.

I think that would probably be the solution. Like I was talking to someone else about the business. I wasn't cheating on you guys, I swear. But they were like, what about protein shakes? That doesn't feel quite right to me to do like a smoothie thing because you can go somewhere else for a smoothie. RIP Body Factory.

Did you guys ever get that back in the day? Oh my God. Okay. Body Factory was this place on Sunset and Fairfax. It was like all exclusively gay men and Esther. It absolutely was. I can picture it now. Like all of the early 2000s gay men hotspots.

I like look, zoom in on the photos. I was there. Millions of milkshakes body factory the reason the reason I trust you is because you got you would go to berries not for the workouts but exclusively for the smoothies yes I forgot about that oh my god so they had a really they had one really good smoothie there and also like uh earth bar back in the day the flax master smoothie anyway body factory was like it was so good. I still to this day don't know what was in there, but they were the biggest cups.

They were, I believe they were styrofoam. Is that even possible? But they were huge. And it was like a smoothie this big and it had like 170 calories in it. What? It was so light and it tasted amazing but then they shut down and i don't know why because it probably was 600 calories and they were lying they probably bumped it up with like batteries and like horse adderall like whatever cheap ingredients that were calorie free

you don't understand like once every eight months i crave the taste of this smoothie. We can recreate it. I don't think you can. I can. What did it taste like? It was like a pineapple-y, sweet. It was like a tropical protein smoothie. How is this connected to fiber? Did it have fiber in it? I don't remember what you brought up, but. Oh, because you were going to, you wanted it, your friend pitched you a protein place.

Okay. And I'm like, we've been there, done that in LA, and it didn't work because it poisoned us. But will there be a fiber option for the girlies? I think it's got to be like an Olipop type thing. Which, by the way, Jules should drink. Yeah, Jules. There's our first collab with Jules. Babe, if it takes me investing my life savings to get you to poop once

and starting a whole soda business, I will do it. I will. Mark my words. Mark my fucking words. Oh, thank you. What is this? We have banana breaks. Oh, wait.

Also, by the way, guys, I just came back from Tokyo and I brought some treats that, you know. Right. Yeah. I love Japanese food, Japanese snacks, Japanese culture. I know. It was very overwhelming for me in the snack department. I will say, I mean, I tried to bring more fun stuff, like more of the mochi stuff, but

they wouldn't hold, obviously. I see already some things I like. Did you go to a 7-Eleven? Of course. I mean, I ate there every day. The Japanese 7-Eleven. I just, my dream is to go to a Japanese 7-Eleven and get a sweet potato. They just have, or I don't know if they sell them at the 7-Elevens, but they have these roasted Japanese sweet potatoes

that are like a convenience store snack. The caramelized ones? Yeah. Or like, it just looks like pretty standard, like steamed or something. Yeah, steamed is really good. Have you seen the TikToks of people in Korea where it's like,

they go into the little market, the ice? Yeah. The ice cups. When I was pregnant, ice cups. Wait, can you tell me what they are? It's connected to soda culture kind of. I know it is, but that's why everything's coming together

at once right now. It's like you go in, can you explain it? You go into a convenience store in Korea, I think maybe in Japan too, but I'm not sure. And you get a sealed cup of just ice. It's not quite pebble ice. Somewhere in between pebble and full-sized ice. I can't describe it. Yeah, it looks like the perfect ice, and it's all about that crisp seal. It's sealed at the top, like the way that they do at boba shops. They have it at the Tokyo 7-Elevens. Yeah, I'm sure. Okay. And I think it's coming to, I think there are some places in K-Town that do it too. Or you can just fill it up with iced coffee? No, no, no. Okay, tell me more. So it's a sealed cup of ice, and then you go into their fridge fridge and they have a bunch of different drink options.

Okay. It mostly seems like juices. They don't seem healthy. I think they're like full sugar juices and stuff. And you literally just buy the ice and you buy the beverage and you just pour it in the cup. But it's like a sensory thing. They make it look so fun on TikTok. It gets me going.

It's like the most soothing thing. The ice is everything. Are we pebble ice girlies here? I did get a pebble ice machine that was $500 and then like I got it the week after I gave birth and then every like eight hours it would make this really loud noise like

and Dave said we had to return it. You guys returned it? Yeah. You returned things? Full price. It was hard. Wait. Wait. I don't return things at all. I return everything. I just returned a couch to Costco after three years. Literally just like a week ago. Standing ovation.

Thank you. Thank you. I need this in my life. I have a fear of returning things. Yeah, I find I'm like terrified. I had a full-size mirror come in. Remember that, Jules? Cracked, shattered, like in 57,000 pieces, and I could not return it.

I have a confession, believe it or not. It's still in my garage, by the way. I will return it for you. I actually— Just forward me the receipt. I'll do it in five minutes. I didn't technically return it. I sent it back thinking they were going to send a new one to replace the sound.

But then I got that. They were like, do you want to just return it? And once it was like out of the house, I was like, yeah. You never really loved it. I was just because you know what happened was when I was in the hospital after I gave birth, I was eating their pebble ice and I felt like I need this. And then it kind of wore off. That is a thing, though.

The quality of the ice is like the most important thing. That hospital ice at Huntington Hospital. It's so good. Stop in when you get a chance. I've heard that the post-birth cocktail that the nurses make you. Oh, this is in my TikTok feed. Do you not know about? I mean, you literally just gave birth.

I didn't get the cocktail. Really? Well, the nurses always post videos and it's, they do the big – you know the big hospital cups? Do you get one of those? Yes. It's like a Stanley but for the hospital. And they do a – it's like cans or boxes of apple juice and cranberry juice on ice. And it's like the mommy cocktail.

Oh, Esther, you missed out. They didn't give you that one, babe? No. I had blue Gatorade though. It was ruled. That's good. Okay, so I thought this came. It turns out I've already started.

Oops. This isn't a fresh bag. Turns out I've already eaten half of it. I don't know when it happened, but it must have happened in a blackout. What a mystery. But these ones are potato chip chocolates. So it's a potato chip wrapped in chocolate. You're nasty, girl.

So I wanted here. Have one. Wait. So what's the best thing you ate in Tokyo, by the way? I mean everything. I eat everything. I'm somebody. That's the problem.

It's like it's hard to – I don't have favorites. Everything just goes in and I'm happy. Well, they're a little stale from being open. Are they stale? Oh, I'm sorry. Let me move on to the melon Kit Kats. She's like, I need another Prunuvo. I'm full, Zach.

They're not stale. They're delicious. She's the same. Wait, the chocolate is amazing. They could be saltier. Exactly. That's what I thought. I need more salt.

Okay. I'm like a savory, salty freak. The quality of that chocolate. Of course, it's Royce I mean this is a good right Hokkaido chocolate nothing better okay second thing second thing we have so many questions for you did you have a Japanese breakfast I've had I had everything I love Japanese breakfast me too miso soup rice and fish dream breakfast matcha square shut Shut the F up. What is this? Oh, my God. Is it like chocolate?

Well, yeah. It's like a fudge. It's like a matcha fudge. Oh, my God. Whoa. Oh, my God. Wait. This is the best thing I've ever had.

It's so good, right? I hate chocolate, so I hate fudge culture. I love fudge. But now I understand fudge, I think. Wait, I don't like matcha, though, so will I not like it? Just try a tiny bit. She won't like it. You don't like matcha at all?

Do you want to try a tiny bite of mine? It just feels like a waste if you're going to sell me a pint. The third thing we have is one of the Kit Kats. I've tried all Kit Kat flavors, I feel, but not the melon one. I've never seen that. What's your favorite Kit Kat flavor? Basic. Just like the…

Plain? Yeah, I like a classic Kit Kat because I think that they've gone too far. Matcha Kit Kats are my favorite. Yeah, matcha is. But then I'm so… Again, because I think we get a lot of matcha things in the house. I love matcha. Wait, what's that over there? What kind of matcha do you guys drink? I have so, again, because I think we get a lot of matcha things in the house. I love matcha. Wait, what's that over there?

What kind of matcha do you guys drink? I have so many questions. Okay, this one is, or maybe you might like this one more, Esther. It's a fruit bar chocolate. By the way, if you don't like any of these, I did buy you a Keto IQ bar. But that's from Sprouts. It's not from Tokyo. Can I have that one ready to go too?

I brought you a bag of Cheeto Puffs just from like 7-Eleven. Okay. These ones I bought. These look fun. These are fun. Mama. Mama. Oh, my God.

Oh, no. Here, Esther. I can't reach it. My jeans are too tight. Wait. This is so sweet. Here, I'll get it. Oh, no. Here, Esther. I can't reach it. My jeans are too tight. Wait, this is so sweet. Here, I'll get it. This is beautiful. This is beautiful.

Is this Royce's version of a Kit Kat? Yes. Oh, shit. This is Royce's version of a Kit Kat. I believe Royce is like a – you can't just buy it anywhere in Tokyo because they're a Hokkaido thing. It's like north of Japan. Oh, my God. No, I know what that – I definitely know what that meant. A fruit bar chocolate. it anywhere in Tokyo because they're a Hokkaido thing. It's like north of Japan. I definitely know what that meant.

A fruit bar chocolate. I want to see the description. This is my dream dessert. I hate chocolate so I'm going to love this. It has like chunks of fresh fruit in it. Delightful fusion of flavors in our white chocolate bars crafted with a harmonious blend of powdered strawberries and bananas. Complimented by a medley of premium dried fruits

and crispy almond puffs. This is the best thing I've ever eaten. I like it, but I know my face is weird. I like it, though. Esther has basic skokie tastes. Like, she doesn't under... No offense, babe. She doesn't understand, like, cultural...

Like, this is... She's taking big bites, though. She likes it. I'm telling you, I like it. I don't know she's taking big bites though she likes it i'm telling you i like it i don't know what's going on though it's a tart it's the it's a tartier there's a yuckiness no rudy banana are you getting the banana that's what i don't like i love that we only have a hard segment dedicated to the i know but like a fake banana? Yeah, wait. There's banana pictures in here. I'm literally like everywhere there's bananas. It's really hard for me to come to work.

Okay. This is fascinating. I guess so. This is the best thing I've ever had. I want to go to Japan and buy a thousand of these. Wait, can we meet you in Ace? Let's go. Absolutely.

Can you breastfeed? Can she plan it? Wait, what is it called in the olden days? A wet nurse. A wet nurse. Yeah, Carolina's ace is wet nurse. Do wet nurses still exist outside of women sharing breast milk? The craziest news article this week about a Mexican police officer who was a woman.

And she found a starving baby or something and she breastfed it. And it saved the baby's life. She wet nursed it and she got a huge promotion in the Mexican police department. I don't know what part of Mexico she lived in, but it was a huge news story in Mexico and she was a hero. That is so beautiful. Would you breastfeed another person's estranged baby? Not only would I, I have since I was 13. You guys don't fake breastfeed other babies? Wait, I definitely have.

I'm not going to like, out my... Oh. Wow. A queen. I feel like in America, if someone did that, they'd like get fired and it would just be like frowned upon or something shitty. It would be like a Jimmy Kimmel monologue joke. And it would be like a video that went viral and her whole life would be ruined or something.

But I liked the story. I thought it was really sweet and cool. Yeah. That's so cool. So obviously she was still lactating and. I believe so. Yes. She might have had her, maybe her own newborn.

Wow. Those are my favorite stories. Like when dogs or when puppies, newborn puppies are, the mother has like passed and they bring the litter to another cat or another dog, even if it's like interspecies. And then the cat or dog accepts the puppies because they're just, they have that inherent kind of maternal drive to. It's sort of like your guys' relationship a little bit.

Like you accepted Esther, even though, yeah. Even though there is no milk. Even though, yeah, she'll take what she can get. That's so sweet. And I don't know. I like, would I, I don't know if I would let a strange baby suckle, but- I would. I think if it's a baby in distress, I think you'll give anything. Your primal instinct takes over. When I have a younger half-brother, so I was 12 when my mom

had him. And I remember she learned an an old wives tale to get him to stop breastfeeding that I've never forgotten to this day, where it was like, I don't know what everyone stops breastfeeding at a different age, but maybe he was like a year or something. And she was told by one of her coworkers to rub garlic on her nipples to make the baby like not want to. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. I love it. And for some reason I've like never stopped thinking about it. My mom told me that when I, to get me to stop because I was so old, she just said we're going to stop now and I was like okay.

How old were you? Three and a half. Insane. So you could stand she could like, she could be sitting in turn, you could just like stand and breastfeed. She could tear clothes off her mom probably and just have full yeah your poor mother yeah wait i have a question for you guys um i've been thinking about you know a lot of this because obviously i have a child now

were either of you ever princess babies like where someone called you princess or you dressed in a dress because i don't have the princess gene like i was never that princess or you dressed in a dress because i don't have the princess gene like i was never that i wanted to be pongo from 101 dalmatians yeah the boy dalmatian um were you guys ever princesses when you were little i know jules i've seen pictures of you in princess dresses well i was like a barbie baby not princess barbie was my childhood but then you dressed they she would dress you up as barbie yeah i was a barbie girl too i dressed as barbie for a lot of halloweens really i was never so i had when i was younger apparently my mom struggled because i wanted to pee like a boy i had a lot of young

boy envy and i at like the age of four figured i could like lift my lips and pee into a wall incredible so my mom was having like a crisis about this because she was like she doesn't want to just like sit and pee she wants to pee like a boy um and i would reject all girly things which is i did that too because um later on i loved i love all girly things it's just so when i was that age i think something happened i rejected it too like i wouldn't wear a dress i my grandma gave me a baby doll for christmas and it had to be in the trunk i wouldn't get in the car with it like I didn't want any of the girly stuff right so I'm like and I feel like is it basically I find before I had ace I was like we're not doing any princess stuff like that's weird to me I didn't I never liked it but then now that I have her I'm like

she's my little princess I mean she's still so young she doesn't obviously understand. But like, I'm just, is it bad to like call your, is it, is princess culture bad? I, I've always had a negative. I think it's important for little girls to grow up and hear that they're beautiful and amazing. Like, I think that praising your child is important. Like, I don't believe in being like, you're just a normal, like, you're just a kid and I'm not going to acknowledge your gender in any way. Like, and I do think that you can't deprive, like, I think you should give her the options. Like, she should give her, like, a truck and a Barbie. You know what I mean? And, like, she'll naturally gravitate towards what she likes, you know?

I wanted to be Mowgli so bad from Jungle Book. Oh, my God. Oh, I love Jungle Book. It's never too late, Stella. You could still go full Mowgli so bad from Jungle Book. Oh, my God. Oh, I love Jungle Book. It's never too late, Stella. You could still go full Mowgli if you want. A little red loincloth, no top. Well, can I tell you that I, so I, my sister and I were Mowglis. And my dad, who was born in 1924, R.I.P. daddy.

100 years. 100 years this year in August. He had this, he wanted to infantilize us for as long as possible. So up until the age of like 11, when we had budding tits already, he would insist that we would, we couldn't wear clothes around the house. We would be in just like white panties and with budding tits. It was, I can't, and's weird, guys. It was a dysfunctional household with clashing generations. Please pause the tapes. Yeah, actually, legally, we do have to stop the tapes, I think.

I know. And so my elementary school teachers would write home and would tell my parents like, hey, she needs a training bra. She is so unaware of her body. And my dad's like, yeah yeah because she's a child and and my teachers would be like yeah but she's growing up he just really didn't want you to grow up yeah and he wanted to be he wanted me to stay mogli right so i was full mogli so i would go to the fruit stand so we would there were like these little stores around the corner as at 10 and 11 still in my underwear holding my dad's hand in my

fucking underwear tits out tits budding tits out sorry sorry it's important to say budding where was this in the philippines okay yeah it was there would have been arrests would have been made i think no i was like imagining you i don't know what i was imagining jewels does this sound typical for the philippines or i don't know because when i turned 11 i started wearing bras already like my mom was like wear this already yeah her mom was a lot more normal then yeah it doesn't seem like a cultural thing it seems like a your dad it was. And my dad was a European man. He was French. Oh, why didn't you mention that? They hate clothes.

They hate when children wear clothes. No, I don't know. That doesn't really even help me understand it anymore necessarily. I'm as confused as ever. I do have to say I'm still stuck on the phrase lifting my lips. Like the way I haven't stopped thinking about that phrase for even one second in the last 15 minutes but this childhood you had like lips were lifting tops were off going to the fruit stand like i'm piecing it together why you are the way you're fishing also i know

there's still hung up on that i know you're gonna take it all the way there but that does make sense that i do like some like a spearfish. I'm seeing it. I understand that some of what you just said was somewhat disturbing, but I do see a little bit of the possible, like I understand wanting to keep your child like a baby and not wanting them to grow up. So that angle, I buy. i was also spoon fed until i was 12 okay and we're and you grew up in a cult and yeah it was it was very that's not a philippines thing i know that's just my mom having control issues i think and like making sure that i got my roughage well and i know you were pooping at least.

Yeah. It was so weird. Now, I didn't think any of this was weird, by the way, until I start talking to regular. Not you. Tits out. Being spoon fed. The farmer's market. Yeah. What an unbelievably weird but magical childhood. Oh, wait. I have reports. You're giving Esther ideas. And I don't like this. Wait. I have two major reports of things that happened to me in Tokyo, which is

it's more of a health update since you gave your prenuvo and Jules shits blood. My prenuvo got cut off pretty early just because Jules is constipated. Say the link again. Give your code again, Esther. We didn't. I don't know. That's fine.

It's fine. Two things happened in Tokyo. Very unfortunate. One is, I don't know if you guys get styes a lot. I don't, but I know people that struggle. So this stye's been here for two weeks. And in Filipino culture, what do they say about styes, Jules?

That you killed a lizard oh god we have two very very different mythologies i was told that you you saw a dick you weren't supposed to see what oh no i'm sorry i told you i'm sorry okay i just wanted you to see it for a second. I'm sorry. I didn't know I would give you a stye. At my own launch. I know. I was backstage and I just wanted Kalayla to see it. Okay, okay.

Sorry, continue. Okay, so a stye and my first hemorrhoid. Oh, wait. That was your first? My very first hemorrhoid in my life. Wait, that was your first? My very first hemorrhoid in my life. And this is after like climbing temple steps for two hours. And I think I overdid it.

I stretched my, it honestly felt like you guys, when I thought of having my first hemorrhoid, which is inevitable for most of us, I thought, oh, it'd be a cute little outpouching. No, this thing was a fucking prolapse. Like my asshole, like I had a fucking rattlesnake rattler. It was just hanging kind of? Yes. Could you see it when the cheeks were closed? I didn't.

So I went up some steps for two hours. I got my little Japan workout. You cheeked hard. I cheeked hard. Is it exercise induced? I have no idea. So immediately after, I had a little bit of, I had to go to the bathroom, did that, washed. This is – Esther, brace yourself for this.

Washed, and I was like, oh, my God, there's still stuff there. So I yanked on it thinking it was – Oh, God. Stop the yank. thinking it was pop the ink i yanked on it thinking it was stuff and it wasn't it was my own hemorrhoid do we have like a vomit bucket covered in bananas or something a cute vomit i know and so i use my stanley but here is where it gets interesting here so i turn pale in the shower i call my sister call my mom everybody come in what's going on japanese police yeah i think the number over there is 119 because i was so close it's a reverse

of 911 i think i was like someone's gotta come in this isn't. And so they inspected and they were like, wow, okay. Like you really. It's the one thing that hasn't been Google searched. This whole podcast hemorrhoids. I appreciate that. I'm going to get a hemorrhoid sponsor soon. Oh my gosh. I'm going to have a code soon.

So I went to this, the first pharmacy I could find. And it was a pharmacy that this woman's grandmother had ran for like 200 years. Okay. And so all of the compounded 200 years old woman. Right. And I thought that I had to use Google translate to be like hemorrhoid. Same in every language. But she looked at me and I was like, yeah, I'm having, and she was like hemorrhoid. She gave me this concoction, this cream that they don't sell in the States, but that thing crawled right back up and I haven't seen it since. I am hemorrhoid free. This is like a Miyazaki movie. You found a 200 year old pharmacist who could tell you had a hemorrhoid just by looking at you. Honestly, Studio Ghibli,

like fund this movie. 100%. Right? Your hemorrhoid can crawl that's concerning can i just say i've never had a tighter asshole than i do now it just got on me get it off me it attached to your spleen that's what it is prenuvo.com slash est Esther's spleen hemorrhoid. I have so many questions, it's disgusting. Do you think that the hemorrhoid popped off on the temple steps, or do you think that you were brewing a little something, and the temple steps gave it the environment in which it needed to flourish? What makes me sad is that I said a little prayer at the temple that meant so much to me, and I had tears in my eyes,

and the gift I got from that was a fucking hemorrhoid. That's harsh. The Japanese gods were not looking kindly. They were not on my side. So I do think that I did get it on my way down, not up. How could it pop off so quickly like that? I have no idea. Something's not adding up. Something is not adding up, but there was, in fact, my sister was like, is it a hemorrhoid or is it a prolapse?

I can't tell. My sister's a nurse. Oh. Yeah. So she, too, was concerned, but this lady cured me, and I'm not dealing with it. Within an hour, it was gone. I feel like because the 200-year-old pharmacist cured you, in a few months, you're going to find out what price you have to pay for the cure. Something's going to appear and take away your soul or your beauty.

You're going to be visited by a Japanese spirit, and you're not going to like what you have to hear. By the way, I do know the active ingredients in this cream, but I just know that they don't have that same combination in the U.S. because Japan is really high-tech with their stuff. Of course. Bidets. Oh my God. Bidet culture. I just, the first thing I did in my new house, bidets on every toilet. Beautiful. No, when we went to Japan, when we came back, the first thing we did was order a bidet and a heated toilet seat. Of course.

It changes the game. Yeah. I have to admit, though, when I went to Japan, I did something that I sort of now regret in hindsight, which is I focused exclusively on eating at restaurants that we have here in L.A. Like, I ate at the Earth Cafe in Tokyo and, like, the Applebee's. Your trip to Japan triggers me. I know. I'm sorry. I don't like hearing about it. You were in a wheelchair the whole time because you stubbed your toe. Like up until the very last minute, you're like, I think I'm going to cancel. I just don't want to go anymore. I'm like, it's Japan. You have to go. But I do feel like I didn't really

go because the whole thing is on vacation is walking everywhere so I have to go again I'm dying to go I feel like you are a 12 year old Japanese boy at heart I've always thought that was your essence so I feel like you need to return to your fatherland Caroline I think we should go I would go any second like you mean you did just have a baby you guys it's so cheap to travel there it is yeah i would take but it is also very crowded so if you're just not up for the big crowds right now but it's like the food is endless can you bring a baby around or is that like rude it's a tough flight i mean people do and when i look at parents when i've when i saw parents in japan i'm like wow that is so brave because it is. It's like the small streets and you want to have maneuverability and like the hotels are small.

Maybe I can like, she's still young enough, I can just like put her back in for a few weeks. Put her back in between the lips. Wait, I have a question. Does anal cause hemorrhoids? Yeah, what causes hemorrhoids? Thank you for bringing back to hemorrhoids. As far what causes hemorrhoids? Thank you for bringing it back to hemorrhoids. As far as I know, yes, yes, pushing. But it is just, it's a blood vessel that is inflamed.

It's like a varicosity. It's like a varicose vein, but in your butt, right? Wait, I think that's what I have in my uterus. From your Pernuvo scan? You have a hemorrhoid? Again, we'll talk about it offline. No, it's okay. We'll talk about Pernuvo scan? You have a hemorrhoid? Again, we'll talk about it offline. No, it's okay. Talk about Pernuvo again.

I think it's pushing, not eating your roughage. Yeah, babe. It's not going to be the anal. It's not your sloppy anal that's going to cause it. It's going to be the fact that you don't eat vegetables. Yeah. You got to get her the crackers. You got to give her the crackers, the Metamucil crackers.

I didn't even know they had those. I learned about them from Howard Stern. He swears by the Metamucil crackers, eats them every day. Sorry, but it's true. So this is where the girlies are getting their tips from now? I didn't want to say where I learned it because I knew I was going to get this reaction. From an old man? Yeah. So we asked you guys some questions. And are these all beauty related? Oh, great. Oh, and one from Mario Hernandez. What's really the best kind of body lotion? What are the factors to choose the best one? I have a lot of opinions on this too.

Yeah, me too. I want to hear what you think. You know, I stick to the basics. CeraVe, Cetaphil. I agree. I think everything else is a con. I pretty much agree. I mean, I do believe in moisturizing, especially when your skin is wet after the shower. I do notice a difference. But I feel like the thing we've really learned about moisturizing in the past few years is all about slugging and like putting an occlusive layer

to really seal in the moisture. So my legs are the only thing that get really dry. And I have a spray bottle of Aquaphor that they sell at the drugstore. So in the winter when I'm really dry, like use whatever body lotion, cheap. And I'll do like a thin layer of Aquaphor on top to seal it in and it makes a world of difference. Spray Aquaphor. Yeah. it's like very slippery and like a weird, it's like lighter. I love that. Highly recommend looking into it.

But you know how like Aquaphor itself doesn't moisturize, but it like seals in the moisture. That's what I love about the old school tinned Nivea. Just that thick, goopy, it's not going anywhere for six days. Yes. Like I say moisturize with whatever but look into locking it in i don't i don't lotion i know that's like i'm not surprised i know i don't really lotion but if i am in like a mood where i want to i like the necessaire body necessary is good

and then i also i like a body oil that's what Jules has been all about, the body oils. I prefer the oil than the lotion. Why? It doesn't slick you. I like the feeling of it and just the lotion doesn't moisturize me at all. I do oil and I seal it in with a lotion. I'm sorry, I'm really stuck on the multi-step of it all. I believe in the seal because I think the oil, it feels nice and it like soaks in, but I don't know that it really, really, you know, gets in there. But Esther, you're just, you're notoriously anti-lotion in general. Yeah. And you're dry all the time.

It's like, you love being dry. It's like your whole personality. I'm only dry in this climate. Okay. When I'm in Skokie, I am not dry at all. I'm very, I'm right. I'm right climate okay when I'm in Skokie I am not dry at all I'm very I'm right I'm right on track when I'm there but I tend to find and this honestly came a lot from doing glowing up for years like I feel like we tried everything in that like three or four year time frame that I'm a little jaded I'm like I don't really know what's good. And what, like, I'm like, is it all the same? And like, I just. No, you learned nothing. Well, I learned vitamin C is a good ingredient in skincare. Unless you have eczema like me. Vitamin C can be very caustic too. And niacinamide, doesn't niacinamide cancel out vitamin C? There's certain ingredients that you can't use with vitamin C. Yeah, okay. What did you learn from doing Glowing Up? A lot, Esther. I learned so much. We also shout

out to Everyday Oil. Have you tried that, Jules? Oh, I love Everyday Oil. I've never tried. You would love it. It's like the most natural blend of amazing oils. It smells like the forest. And unscented, but I like the scented. They have a new scent now. Have you tried it? I have. It's very good. But the OG is the best. I know know and it comes in those beautiful chic brown glass bottle i love brown glass yeah you were gonna die you're gonna love it everyday oil it's so good you guys you don't tell you what you didn't learn anything you're gatekeeping good products i am not gatekeeping i'm not gatekeeping i'm sorry okay i triggered esther flaking my dead skin cells everywhere. I just, okay. I'm not trying to flex at all.

I'm just merely trying to prove a point. I didn't put any oil or lotion my whole pregnancy. And I, everything is the same. No stretch marks? Maybe like one or two on the side. But I've had those there. I've also had a ton there since eighth grade. I feel like so much of stretch marks really is genetics. Absolutely. 100% agree. Or also for

pregnancy, it's like, how big are you getting? Or like for me, I think because my stomach has always fluctuated over the last like 20 years, I've had many weights that like pregnancy wasn't that big of a change in my body. Does it matter? Is your stomach smaller when you have an anterior placenta? Or does it not? I've heard that, okay, so like placenta, this is like deep cut for pregnancy, but most placenta placement, it's usually like in the back of, right?

Posterior, yeah, behind. Yeah, it's like behind the baby. I had an anterior, so my placenta was at the top of my stomach. So it was like the placenta and then baby beneath it. They say that that could make you show less, but I don't know if that's true. Or they also say it makes you feel the baby less, which I think is a little true, but I still felt her and it was fine. Do you have the line i can't remember what it's called yeah oh my god you have abs i know me so your snapback is insane she sent me a mirror selfie don't tell everyone oh sorry

it's fine but i was like abs bitch you're two months out like your body's better post-baby. I kind of agree. I think pregnancy was so hard that that was like where I suffered and postpartum is not so bad. I don't know. That's hopeful. You're amazing. That is hopeful. Really incredible. But also like, doesn't matter how you look. I don't, I just, I want to just feel good in my body. All right. Wait, this, I see a question that is something I'm really passionate about. Can I read it? Yeah. It's from Jen Davenport. I don't know if we're supposed to read the names.

Yeah, I think it's her. How do I make my skin less oily? Perks of Italian genes. Jen, wherever you are, whatever camera I'm supposed to look in, girl, I feel you. I have, as Esther knows, the oiliest skin in the world. It's the bane of my existence, but I've learned to embrace it because it's the reason I'm going to have less wrinkles. Yeah, you oily girls are so lucky. And it's counterintuitive, but for oily skin, you've got to moisturize because when you stop moisturizing, your skin

wants to produce more oil to compensate. But if I moisturize pretty much once a day, I'm not a twice a day girly, it does seem to kind of help keep the oil manageable. And you got to find like a light moisturizer though. It's got to be something that works with your skin. I use this Korean one by, oh my God, fuck, what's it called? It's like the Centella light gel. You're pretending not to know? It's Korean, babe. I can't pronounce it. But like light, light is the key. Nothing like heavy or thick for dry skin. And I swear by oil, like clean and clear, like the blue oil patches. I use one of those once a day and it really helps suck up the oil in the

middle of the day. Like the old school paper ones? The old school paper ones. I like the blue ones. I don't know what material it is. It's like made out of like microplastics, but literally don't care. I absolutely love it. And then I have a very specific product recommendation and then I'm going to be done. La Roche-Posay makes a face spray. You know how like the mineral water face sprays? It's like one of those, but it has zinc in it. It's called serozinc and it's used, I think it's like a medical, you know how in France all of those brands are used in like hospitals? So it's like a specific medical use, but it makes, it absorbs the oil and makes your skin less oily and it's so refreshing.

I think it's like 10 or 15 bucks on Amazon. But it's not the hypochlorous. No. And I love hypochlorous. I do too. Love. Do you buy it on, do you buy it unmarked on Amazon? I don't. I use one from Prequel, but after yoga or after workouts. Every workout. Yeah. Have to do that. Or where I know I sprayed on where I know my face might land on my yoga mat. Just to kind of. It's how I stop breakouts, prevent breakouts after working out. But no, the sero zinc is just like a refreshing face spray, but it has the zinc in it and it absorbs. But that also just sounds like an experience,

and I think that's most of why I buy things for the experience and the scent of it all. Of course. No, I was just going to say speaking of sprays, because I do agree a face spray is an experience, and I use the Tower 28 face spray still. That's what we're talking about, hypochlorous. It is? Yeah. Oh, I shouldn't have been zoning out. Wait, what? Have you been listening at all when we've been talking? Prinovo. We're on your podcast. We're talking about Prinovo or not? Wait. Prinovo South Esther. What is? Code Esther. Prinovo. What is? Cholesterol. A true prenatal. What is that stuff?

Because I use it and I like it. It's called hypochlorous acid and it's like a cousin of chlorine and it kills bacteria, but it's gentle on skin. Do I have any reason to be using it if I don't have oily skin? It's not about oil. Yeah. I mean, it's supposed to be, you know, like to prevent breakouts from, yeah, happening if you're like a workout girly type. Like sometimes my breakouts are caused by having like bacteria from sweating on my skin. Breakouts can be caused by a lot of things.

I love it. It's also really good for eczema too. I don't know why, but I know it's good for eczema. I love the smell of it. It's good for sensitive skin. It has like a fresh chlorine adjacent smell. So I use it and I don't know why. But the TikTok girlies say

to buy, you can buy it in bulk on Amazon and it's way cheaper than Tower 28 and you just refill your Tower 28 bottle. Oh, smart. It's like a jug. Does it help with acne? It's like acne can be caused by so many things, but for acne that's caused by sweating or like if you break out after you work out, spray it on your skin after a workout. And it is a game changer. What pimple creams are you on to right now, Jules? I see Starface. Yeah, it's the Neutrogena one. The cream.

That works on you? Yeah, it works. Acne is another like – this is like a separate hour-long conversation. It's like what's causing your acne? What things do your skin respond to? Like acne is a real passion thing for me yeah and the lie where you like you eventually outgrow your teenage acne is so it's such a fucking lie because like i still break out on my back once in a while oh i have a chloris really i also got a recently got a bacne like body spray from like not it's

like either cereb it's like one of those brands. It's amazing. I'm covered in Bacne. I need to get that. Oh, it's so good. It's, um, I think it's CeraVe like body acne spray, search body acne spray. A bunch of brands make them now, but they're amazing. And it's like, you know, those continuous spray bottles that you can like hold upside down and spray. It's like, that's what's like really easy to get on your back. It might not be CeraVe, I'm sorry, but it's a blue bottle and it's drug store. I can't remember. Speaking of blue bottles and plugging my own brand, one of the reasons why I was very like at O'Shea Club. One of the reasons why I needed clean like hair care in general was

because of my eczema. It was because do you guys ever use like heavily heavily scented or a shampoo or conditioner that you love but breaks you out and that happens to me so often and i get the little crust in my little like tea you're very sensitive i'm a very sensitive girl so this is why um sorry i just smelled a foil wrapper wait i know we have to wrap up but I do want to get an answer to this question from you, Kalilah. Is ebb good for the girlies who work out a lot and get sweaty hair or just ocean salt water? It's for everyone. The reason that it's inspired by the ocean is the fact that I just have a very specific kind of lifestyle where my hair gets just fucked up, right?

have a very specific kind of lifestyle where my hair gets just fucked up, right? And so I think of me as just the guinea pig of having difficult hair plus going through the elements constantly. And the idea is that if it works for someone like me, it's going to work for just about everyone, sweaty hair, clean hair, and everybody. This is for everybody, even though the genesis is. You don't talk a lot about it but i know that you you work out a lot i do so i assume that ebb is good for that yeah and you secretly work out all the time i'm annoyed i do yeah and don't talk about it she's hardcore it's because you know my mom does this thing that is super annoying and then now i, which is my mom has always had extremely optimal physique, always with a six-pack my whole life.

Oh, I hate her. Just so fit. She's 65 and can still do those corncob push-ups. What the f— She can do one-handed push-ups. I mean, ask Jules. She puts us to shame daily. But she never talks about her body.

She just kind of just does the work. She does it because she has the mentals, you know. Esther cannot relate. But she's one of those people that just like has never – I'm like, Ma, why don't you wear shorts? Show off your arms. Wear a sleeveless thing. She's like, for who?

For what? This is for me. I'm like, ew, if I had that body, I'd be nipple tassels all day. That's it. I'd be back to Mowgli. You'd be back to Mowgli. Oh my God. You'd be Mowgli-ing up the stairs of the Japanese temple, hemorrhoid flapping in the wind. You guys, we have to go. I know. Everyone's so annoyed with us. I'm sorry. Caroline, where can people find you? You're the funniest Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Oh, yeah.

But I barely update. I used to run Official Sean Penn, but I'm like so over it now. Caroline underscore Goldfarb on Instagram. Sex Life of a College Girl season three coming this fall. Yes. You are the voice of that show. Eatfishwife.com and TBD Soda drive-thru coming at you 2025. We're on board. By the way, Caroline, please come back every week.

We need you. Literally any time. I know I'm sort of a D-list guest for you guys. You guys have been racking up some major guests. But I can be like your backup, like the way that when guests would cancel on The Tonight Show in the 80s, they would just call like Gallagher or whatever. Like, I'll be your Gallagher. People have often said that you resemble Gallagher. He's my doppelganger. R.I.P. Thank you guys for having me. I had so much fun. I love this podcast and I love both of you so much. And truly, it's exciting to be here.

And everyone go check out Ebb. Ebb. Go to ebbotionclub.com. Everyone go check out Ebb. Ebb. Go to ebboceanclub.com. And if you want to save lives, go to prenuvo.com slash Esther. I know it's expensive, but they're working to get the price down. Can you put a cost on health? It turns out you can and it's $2,800. It's more than one.

Sorry. We love you guys. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Thank you, Jules. Thank you, Jules.