Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Snakes, C-Sections, and S*x Parties: Oh My! W Rosebud Baker - Ep 152

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Starting point is 00:02:56 And then tour dates, Portland, Seattle. My last two shows on this tour before the baby happens. You can get tickets at EstherOnIce.com. I'll be in Portland on January 18th, and I will be in Seattle on January 26th. I can't wait. EstherOnIce.com. Hi, sluggies. I have so many amazing shows coming up.

Starting point is 00:03:17 I'm doing a special one-night-only show with one of my best friends in the whole world, Bonnie McFarlane, in New York City, one night only, this Sunday, the 21st. It's going to be incredible. We have Tim Dillon, Mark Norman, Lev Furr. You don't know him, but the other two are funny. It's going to be so fun. So get your tickets before it sells out because it's going to go.

Starting point is 00:03:38 Then I have my next Annie Wooden Friends at the Comedy Store, January 24th. I'm going to be in Denver, Colorado, February 16th and 17th. I have another Annie Wooden Friends, February 20th. I'm going to be in Vancouver, BC, February 21st through 22nd. And then March is a crazy month. I'm so excited. I'm going to be in Fort Worth, Texas, March 1st and 2nd. And then I'm coming back to New Mexico, you guys. I have not been back to New Mexico to perform since I left. I'm going to be in Albuquerque the 8th and 9th. So please come to that of March. It's going to be absolutely wild. I can't wait. I'm ecstatic about that. And then I'll be finishing off the month in Washington,

Starting point is 00:04:14 D.C. at the D.C. Comedy Loft, March 22nd and 23rd. And my Jacksonville, Florida shows have been rescheduled for the end of June. So go to Annie Letterman dot com slash shows. I'm always adding them. I can't wait to see you guys. I'm so excited about my set and I can't wait. Welcome back to a brand fresh, freshie fresh new episode of Trash Tuesday. Today, sitting in for Kalilah, we have a guest we've been wanting for so long. am addicted to her she's so funny she writes for snl she writes for snl um please welcome rosebud baker thanks guys she's also i this goes without saying but one of our stand-up comedy sisters yeah yeah and she has a big tour coming up and she just was on netflix verified which was so good and like that was huge

Starting point is 00:05:06 that was a huge moment these past few months it was fun i it was really i mean well i say it was fun i was like eight and a half months pregnant i barely remember it but um but i am proud that i did it you know what i mean it's like nice to like get it back and be like oh that's cool like i can show this to her and you know also Also the best. She's talking about her baby. Are they? They're 20 minutes. I'll show it to her and she'll be like, mom, this is f***ing, you're a loser. But is there anything better to do that? Like a special that's like short. So it's just like a preview to come see you. So you're not like, oh, here's everything I've ever written. And then I have to write a whole new. That's eight minutes special. I'm doing it. It's perfect. It's perfect. And nobody watches more than that anyway.

Starting point is 00:05:45 No one needs an hour. I know. I had just shot an hour too. I had shot an hour and then they were like, can you do this eight minutes? And I literally wrote like jokes and then just did it. So you did all different? Yeah. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:05:59 That's brave. Yeah. Well, it was like not brave because at the moment I was just like, this could be a failure and I don't care. But it's not. It's such a funny set. Like people need to watch it on Netflix. Netflix verified.

Starting point is 00:06:13 And there's also a bunch of other funny people on there too. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good group. It's Robbie Hoffman's is fucking hilarious. Robbie Hoffman cracks me the fuck up.

Starting point is 00:06:20 Robbie is so funny. God. She's crazy. She's so funny. She's crazy. She's so funny. It's crazy. She's so funny. It's such a good show. Okay, so welcome.

Starting point is 00:06:28 we have to come out with Esther being fake pregnant. Esther has gotten less pregnant since I saw her. Faking her pregnancy. This is my worst fear because you know

Starting point is 00:06:37 when you have a stomach ache and your dad's like, yeah, right, get up. Like, this is how I feel. What's happening? I imagine you are just, this is just a stomach ache this is a very important stomach it's a long stomach it's a really serious stomach ache

Starting point is 00:06:49 I was telling the girls earlier um I started chewing this flavorless gum that I found from turkey and then this guy dm'd me and was like that's what incels use to, like, get their jaw chiseled. I'm sorry, but wait, why? What incels have chiseled jaws? Right? That's what I'm curious about. It's like the Huberman bros. I just picture, like, the guys out there, they want a better jaw because that's how they—it's easier to bust that way.

Starting point is 00:07:20 Wait, we had a win against the incels. Have you guys seen Chet Hanks' last post? Look at this. Can you put this down? Message to fake alpha bitch ass man. It's literally, he's our king. Talking about the turn signal.

Starting point is 00:07:38 Being a high value man or girls, women's body counts. They gotta be virgins. Like, you know, if you make over, if I get 100K, if you're six foot three and dude's complaining, bro,

Starting point is 00:07:55 I'm gonna lose my f***ing mind. You nerds! Stop f***ing complaining! Jesus Christ! Oh my God. It's clear that you motherfuckers will you is he still driving annie will you interpret this for me like what's the gist of this message he said like i'm sick of hearing all these alpha guys on podcasts like talking about how like high they're high value men and high value women need to have be like virginal and have never had sex and he's

Starting point is 00:08:23 like you guys are nerds. You've never been laid. You've never gotten, like, this is so embarrassing. Shut the up. Because I've just been like, what is this shit? By the way, also, even if you look at like an Andrew Tate, it's like, guys, he has like prostitutes around him who have banged a hundred guys and he's paying them. And you're like listening to his rhetoric.

Starting point is 00:08:42 He's just like playing all these incels. Wow, that is, I'm really proud. I didn't know Chet Hanks was going to be my king and he's my rhetoric. He's just like playing all these incels. Wow. I'm really proud of him. I didn't know Chet Hanks was going to be my king and he's my king. He is my king. Can I tell you something? I knew he was going to be your king. It's like Kevin Federline fell. So who else was going to be there for me?

Starting point is 00:08:56 He's your type. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like he stopped driving halfway through that. He was doing a lot of hand talking. Maybe he's a Tesla. I was just concerned. I'm like, I still see the background moving.

Starting point is 00:09:09 I know your foot is on the accelerator, but where's the steering wheel? I once, there's a female comedian who was, when, what was the app everyone was using that went out of business that was like a live streaming? We used to do Periscope. How could you forget the only app I ever used? I just can't remember.

Starting point is 00:09:26 My brain thrived on. Periscope. She was Periscoping and she got in a car because I'm on the Periscope and it's so funny. Did you know that TikTok will not allow you to live stream while you're in a car? It'll shut down your live stream. Wow.

Starting point is 00:09:38 So I have no career. China knows f***ing everything. China. They know. They know when you're driving. We support the state of China, whatever you are. We actually love China so much. Whatever you are. Whatever you want to be today, we will sponsor you, actually. I did not know that TikTok wouldn't let you

Starting point is 00:09:58 live stream, but I've also never once ever tried to live stream on TikTok. Oh, so you're well adjusted and you're... Let's not say things we can't take back. But yeah, no, I've never tried it. Wait, so, okay. Obviously, I'm going crazy over here because you just had a baby and like you seem like you're fine. Yeah, I am. So that's really great news. It's a shock to me too. I was pretty sure I was going to be like depressed or anxious or like I was like mostly scared of postpartum depression. I was like, that's going to hit me hard. Yeah, I just felt like it was going to be me. But it was actually my husband. It hit my husband. My husband got like anxiety, like for real bad, bad postpartum anxiety, which I was like, that's a woman's disease. You can't take that from me. But he did. He was it just the anxiety of like being responsible for a life? No, it was like anxiety about like chemicals in the air. And like, would she be able to breathe and like all of this

Starting point is 00:10:55 shit? And I was just like, Oh, God, isn't that the craziest thing about pregnancy? Like we go through all this shit. And then you just look over at the guy and he's like, I need to figure out if I can get weed in Atlanta. Dave, not now now yeah I know they're just like they're not worried at all but at the end he started freaking out about anything that he fed me he was like I think there was kimchi in that and that has like that has like chemical and I was like oh this is starting to feel a little like while you were pregnant yeah I was like it's starting to feel a little kooky but it was like the bigger I got the more real it got to him and so he started worrying about like shit that I was eating or shit that I was doing and then when she was born it was like oh god he he kept leaving

Starting point is 00:11:34 our hospital room to go check on the baby in the nursery at the hospital so I was like oh he can't sleep like he can't sleep without. He developed OCD. Yeah. Yeah. Did any part of you like it or get turned on when he was so overly caring about what food you put in your body? No. Yeah, you're so like that. You're such an eating disorder girl. No, but she's like.

Starting point is 00:11:57 So awesome of a guy put me on a diet. Does it turn you on when he counts your calories? Oh, I love when a man just looks over everything i eat you know my lifelong dream is for like a corporation to decide what i'm allowed to eat and what i'm not allowed i would love it if you i want you to swing the other way and i want to be like your feeder if you decide you just want to get really big i wanted that for this pregnancy and i'm really upset because i can't eat a lot and I need to stop complaining. I'm very grateful. Esther, the fact that you can't eat a lot is really, it's a blessing because I'm telling you, if your size, if you were able to eat as much as I was able to eat, you'd die.

Starting point is 00:12:38 Listen, we're all surprised. We're happy and we're surprised. We're pleasantly surprised at what's happened. But I'm also like still obviously gaining weight and I'm still getting like the food that I need to get in. But if I was not pregnant and the way I feel, I would be eating, I wouldn't be able to eat. Like it's just so hard.

Starting point is 00:12:53 But what, I forgot what I was going to say. Something just about how skinny I am. I don't know. How pretty I am during this pregnancy is really making me glow.

Starting point is 00:13:03 How skinny and pretty and teenaged. Is Dave like more into you, do you think? Is he having a little pregnancy fetish? He's just so loving and supportive. He's being, when I saw him in the green room when you were being, I thought you were being wild and he was like, no, she's being great. I was like, wow, Dave's turn.

Starting point is 00:13:21 He loves me for the first time and it's really wonderful are you afraid it's not you that he loves no when it comes out I'm not baby over you I feel like she's like I'm not but thanks for planting yeah I'm only here to help um what's interesting is that I asked Esther the same thing I asked you Rosebud which is, do you want to kill your husband every day when you're pregnant? Because he's just all he had to do was orgasm to have this happen. And Esther was like, no, actually, he's like really sweet. And I was like, really? And then she was like, no, I wanted to kill him every day.

Starting point is 00:13:57 Which is how I would be. Yeah, it didn't matter how nice he was being to me. I was just mad that I had to do it. Yeah. nice he was being to me. I was just mad that I had to do it. Yeah. I was just mad that I had to do it and that he was like got to be like living his life and just doing whatever, you know what I mean? Like it wasn't hard for him physically. It's really surprising. Like I don't know why I'm still surprised by that, that we really do it all. Yeah. Yeah. I know. And then you think you're like, shouldn't men just be serving us at all times? Yeah. No, we should be laying in bed being fed chocolates.

Starting point is 00:14:25 Like that's, there's a part of our cycle where that's what we're supposed to be. Right. We're supposed to be invalids just being fed chocolate. No, I feel like it was like, it wasn't about him. Like I was just mad at the setup of the world. Like I was just mad that we had to do it and that it's like they don't have to. And I and then I was on tour and I was like I was still working. It's like now and we're expected to work because it's like God forbid you have a kid and then everybody just assumes that you don't

Starting point is 00:14:55 give a shit about your career. And you're like that's not the case. Like I'm still who I am. And you know what I mean. So it's just like it got really complicated I do feel like stressed about like I'm the breadwinner and the yeast maker of my household um but I like it's if I got pregnant right now it's like my body on the road is what makes me and like supports my family so I'm like what that would be so hard I wouldn't be able to get off the road at all yeah it's hard it's really hard but at the same time it the road at all. Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard. But at the same time, it's doable. Like you think that it's impossible and then you're going through it and you're like, I can do this. It's really hard, but I can do it.

Starting point is 00:15:33 Well, you just probably something I would just guess like it just kicks in. The road is hard anyway. The road feels like torture anyway. So it's just, it's the same. I'm trying to change my views on that because I did this thing. I went to Santa Fe with a bunch of my girlfriends that I do ayahuasca with. And we had like a little like hippie bringing in the new year week this past weekend. You did ayahuasca this past weekend? I didn't do ayahuasca this past weekend. I'm doing it next weekend. But

Starting point is 00:16:00 I did some ketamine treatments and some mushrooms, maybe too many mushrooms. Honestly, I might be done with mushrooms. It was wild what happened. Really? I'm so jealous. It was crazy. No, you would have been so mad at yourself if you took the amount of mushrooms I took. What was so bad?

Starting point is 00:16:14 We were walking. Well, I lived in Santa Fe for seven years. So I'm in this ghost town of like so many like different lives I could have lived, which is amazing. I love going there. But it was like, it was very intense on mushrooms. And we're walking down Canyon Road. It's snowing. And it was like, it was very intense on mushrooms and we're walking down Canyon road and snowing. And it was like Canyon road is where they have all these like

Starting point is 00:16:28 art galleries and every painting is like breathing. And it was just so much. And I was like, my feet, I was wearing my Uggs. Did you get nauseous and sick? I feel like that's what happened. I didn't get nauseous and sick. I had to take a shit and there were like no bathrooms. It was just like, I know. And then it just easily came out. I just did a little push and it came out. But my feet, I was wearing Uggs and my feet were wet and I couldn't, I was so high on mushrooms. I couldn't tell if my feet were wet or I was making it up.

Starting point is 00:16:54 And then when I realized they were wet, I kept going like, is this a lesson in not making a problem about my feet being wet and just going with the group? Oh, I like that. Or is this the opposite? And am I being a doormat wet and just going with the group? Oh, I like that. Or is this the opposite? And am I being a doormat and I need to tell the group? I love that even more. Yeah. You're like, am I walking on myself? And then I just got new boots. Yeah. But it was like,

Starting point is 00:17:15 it was just too many intense decisions and just a very simple, your feet are wet, you're in the snow, you need to get some snow boots. You're going to get hypothermia. Right. Like it would have been a lot easier to just figure that out yeah if i was sober would have been like can we find a shoe store i'll see you guys in a second but i was like yeah i needed to be basically babysat you turned it into these huge life decisions and what does this say about my childhood but um but we did this thing we rented this like big mansion and we did this thing it was like an end of the year review and then like a manifestation for the next year. Like it was like 20 pages. Yeah. And they had you go through your calendar of the last

Starting point is 00:17:51 year and see all the like big milestones that you had. And I was on the road every day. Like I felt last year, I felt lazy. I felt like I didn't do enough. I had all these like thoughts about myself. And then I look back and I'm like, oh my God, I worked so fucking hard. Yeah. And I was so proud of myself. So now I'm trying to look at the road as like appreciative of myself for like getting up, getting there, doing this, traveling. But you also do love it.

Starting point is 00:18:20 I feel like the way you talk about it, it's like you love it. I do love it. And you've wanted it it's like you love it I do love it but you've wanted it for so long that but it's it is complicated because it's also like sometimes you're in a middle seat and coach and sometimes you're never am I in a middle seat yeah I will go I will be I will knock my teeth out and give blowjobs on the street I I'll buy a new light. Annie. I will give the best gummy blowjobs to strangers to stay in first class. My mom watches this, okay? I don't want to give her any ideas.

Starting point is 00:18:50 Annie. She's getting older. You might not need to knock her out. You just wait it out. Oh, my God. My beautiful mother who made me cinnamon vegan banana bread. You seem to be loving your mom more than usual. I'm obsessed with my mom.

Starting point is 00:19:00 Thank you. I'm happy. It's really weird. Is that like a pregnancy thing? I do feel like I owe my mom a lot of apologies. Yeah, well. You know what I mean? I do love my mom.

Starting point is 00:19:11 We're very different, my mom and I. Same. And I love her to death. I do feel like having a baby, I'm just like, oh my God, you're like a f***ing angel. Like, I don't know how you did what you did. You're, I'm like amazed by what she did. It's crazy. But I also, like I took my know how you did what you did you're I'm like amazed by what she did it's crazy but I also like I took my mom actually yes I think it's true I took my mom on a trip to Italy while I was pregnant like just to like show her Italy because I was like I wanted to give her a trip that's so

Starting point is 00:19:39 yeah I guess I was kind of obsessed with her did she have to take care of you on the trip mother yes yeah she did okay mom we'll do we'll do our trip when my acid reflux is gone okay we'll I was kind of obsessed with her. Did she have to take care of you on the trip? Motherly? Yeah. She did. That's the bonus. Mom, we'll do our trip when my acid reflux is gone. Okay? We'll do that after the baby comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:52 But yeah, no, I just— She'll be carrying all of your luggage and the baby. Yeah. I feel so much more connected and close. Are you going to let her in the delivery room? That I don't know. I think—well, I don't know. I'm not— I'm not—

Starting point is 00:20:04 I feel like that's between me and dave yeah that's that's a you and dave thing you don't want to no doctors you're not gonna live stream that you want a moment no doctor it's just you and dave yeah let him figure it out that's this is his moment to step up um wait rosebud because we're talking about drugs are you seriously sober yeah how yeah I've been sober for 15 years yeah so oh god how do you that's my I'm having my 15 year no alcohol too yeah it's a good one how do you kick back and get get it out I think you stay I think if you're sober for long enough you just don't care like it's like you're kind of always kicked back because it's like, you're kind of always kicked back, because it's like... Do you feel like you have a vice in life? Vaping. Oh, cute. Yeah. I can't

Starting point is 00:20:53 stop. I can't stop with nicotine. I have that vice, too. Nicotine is my favorite thing in the world. Ayahuasca. Let me ask you about ayahuasca. Does it help? It's f***ing unbelievable. It doesn't seem like it's helping anybody. Oh, my God. It's absolutely unbelievable. It's so, it's so incredible. It's crazy. But does it help? I feel completely changed. I feel like I'm able to handle life in a different way, see things differently. I'm not like afraid of death. I'm not, I don't live life fearfully anymore. Yeah. I feel really, I love it. Were you afraid of death before? I was afraid of my dad's death a lot. I was like really, really scared of losing other people. You're like, dad, I did drugs and now I don't care if you die. No, the first time I did,

Starting point is 00:21:33 the first time I smoked DMT, I literally called my dad and I was like, when you die, it's going to feel so good. You can die now. He was like, Jesus Christ. He's like, to who? Yeah. That's like the, by the way, the literal opposite of pregnancy is every night at 4 a.m. I's like, to who? Yeah. That's like, by the way, the literal opposite of pregnancy is every night at 4 a.m. I'm like, no one's allowed to die. Yeah. Like, this is really scary. Well, now you have like a reason to live, too. It's like you want to like be there for your kids. Yeah. My brother, my mom for my 18th birthday with my twin brother, she was going to get us skydiving. Yeah. And then our 18th birthday came around and she just forgot she told us that, even though it was two against one. We're like, no. And she was like,

Starting point is 00:22:09 I never said I'd do that. And we're like, all right. So we never went. And then years later, I wanted to go with him. And he's like, I have kids. I don't want to go skydiving anymore. Yeah. And I got it. I got it. Yeah. Whoa. I was talking to Duncan Trussell and his wife too a couple of years ago when I was in Texas. And they were saying, because I was like, let's go to Burning Man. And they're like, we just don't, like, have that. Now that we have kids, we just don't want to both be going somewhere. Yeah. How do you feel like you've changed so far since baby born?

Starting point is 00:22:38 It's weird. Like, everything changes. And, but you're still the same. It's weird. I don't know. Like, I'm here, right? like I'm like I'm here right and I am I'm still having a great time it's great to see everybody but I'm not like I would rather be hanging out with her and she can't even talk so I'm just like this is weird that I'm like

Starting point is 00:23:00 and then I'll go home and I'll and I'll be with her and I'm like you and then I'll go home and I'll be with her. And I'm like, you're not doing anything. Like, I'm just like, come on, like, pick it up. But watching her, like, come online and start to smile and start to, like, do, like, little coy shit where she smiles and she, like, turns away from you. And then she, like, looks to see if you're, like, smiling. You know what I mean? Like, that kind of shit is just, I can't. what I mean like that kind of shit is just I can't it feels like I keep saying this but it feels like the thing that heroin is trying to do but it's but like fails like it's like you can't it doesn't even like heroin could never you know what I mean that's so it feels crazy good and

Starting point is 00:23:42 in spite of how fucking terrible pregnancy was, I like the second that they showed me my daughter, I was like, holy, I would ruin my life 10 times over just to like get this feeling again. But also you wouldn't, right? Because you're done at one. I'm done at one. But it's it's hard because you're like my pregnancy was really tough. It was really tough. And if it wasn't so physically like traumatic, I would do it again. Did you think that it was going to be or were you kind of blindsided by it? I kind of knew it. I kind of knew pregnancy wasn't for me.

Starting point is 00:24:15 I was actively looking for surrogates when I got pregnant. But yeah, I was actively like, because I wanted a kid, but I didn't want to do it myself. You know what I mean? And I was like, it's impossible. like because I wanted a kid but I didn't want to do it myself yeah you know what I mean and um I I was like it's impossible like with my job with the road and also like I'd had two miscarriages so I was like I don't want to go through this again yeah yeah and then I got pregnant and I was like and then 10 weeks later I was like I guess this is for real because I had never made

Starting point is 00:24:43 it past I think well I had made it to like 11 but I had had like what's called a missed miscarriage. That's what I had too. Yeah. So that was like tricky. Yeah. It's like not until you get to that 12 week mark where you're like, okay, I guess I should start taking this seriously. Yeah. Now, is there anything that you maybe like would have wanted to do like skydiving, but probably not that I hope. You're not as crazy as Annie. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:25:09 You're such a square. I know. You're so nerd. I feel like, by the way, the Alaska Airlines, the flight where the door, like the whole piece of the plane came off, you would have been like, yeah. I'd be like, have I survived it yet? I'd be like, oh my God, I survived this? Yeah. I'm a manifester.

Starting point is 00:25:25 You would have been so like annoying after that because you would have just been like punching walls, like trying to break things, like having everything go wrong. Oh my God. You get in your car,

Starting point is 00:25:34 you punch a hole through the window. I knocked the other one, the other door out. Yeah. I opened all the emergency exits. The pilots have to like restrain you. Oh my God. But wait,

Starting point is 00:25:43 so is there anything though that you're like, oh, I wanted to like go to Coachella and now I'm like, I would never do that. No, I never wanted to go to Coachella in my life. Obviously. I've never, I don't really love big gatherings. Me either. I don't like festive.

Starting point is 00:25:58 I hate musical festivals. Musical festivals? Listen to me. I hate musical festivals. That sounds really good. I know, when you said musical, I was like, Esther is going to be so triggered. A musical. Maybe this is your next career.

Starting point is 00:26:12 Yeah. What? You're a podcaster. You're a comedian. You're a musical theater star. You're a filmmaker. And you put on an epic festival of musicals. By the way, I'm in.

Starting point is 00:26:26 Musical festivals. Yeah. How do those not exist? Esther Fest. Musical cons. Esther Fest is so perfect. We call it musical con. That does not sound good.

Starting point is 00:26:36 Esther, I'll produce it with you. Okay, thank you. I feel like we can definitely get the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fans out easy. Yeah. I know you actually were in a fucking musical. I know. I don't a fucking musical I know I don't know how that happened I'm so that was truly an accident because I really cannot sing you have been only good or you have been only in good things thank you for saying that I mean don't

Starting point is 00:26:56 look too deep on the IMDB but just believe believe in yourself right now don't check it out too hard. Just stay there where you're at mentally. So like. No, but nothing. I'm not like, there's nothing that I wanted to do before that I don't want to do now because she's there except work. Oh, you don't want to work. Like I want to because I love what I do. Yeah. But I'd rather be with her but I also don't want to have a kid that has a mom that gave up on working like I'm like it's really important to me my mom's a painter and she had five kids and by the time five of them were here she was like I'm not painting she for years she didn't paint and I remember being like bummed out by that so to me it's really important has she people work in.

Starting point is 00:27:45 Has she, since you guys have grown up, has she started painting again? Yeah. Yeah. My mom's having, like, a real renaissance. It's really cool. My mom wrote, like, a hundred books since the pandemic. It's crazy what happens. It's like once the kids are out and they get their groove back, it's f***ing awesome to see.

Starting point is 00:28:00 Because you get to see your mom, like, really, like, and I just don't want my kid to ever miss out on seeing me that way while she's growing up because I mean, I'm sure she's going to grow up and resent me regardless. But it's like, you know, you sort of pick and choose like what you want to be. internet guy saying about how when kids the reason kids rebel against their parents and start to think their parents are losers is because during their reproductive age group which is like unfortunately 13 to 25 they have to naturally be disgusted with their family because they need to leave the village and not have incest yeah yeah yeah and so at 25 we come back? Okay. I kind of only, I maybe left, like, I was bad at 13. Yeah. But I came back quick at 14. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:49 Like, I was like, there's nothing else out there for me. I tried it. My mommy makes my sandwiches and makes my bed. Like, I'm coming back home. Oh, my God. This is real. Yeah. This is real.

Starting point is 00:28:59 Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God. This is real. This is for real. Her trauma is the amount they burritoed her in a... Also, you guys are like, our moms had this artistic career. I'm like, no, my mom's, her career is taking care of me. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:16 But that's, I think for a lot of, I think that's like a creative thing too. Now I'm realizing, I'm like, oh, it's like, you know, if I lived in the middle of nowhere and I wasn't and I worked at Enterprise Rent-A-Car, I having kids would be my way of being creative. Do you know what I'm saying? So it's like there's a it is a creation. It's a creative impulse. You know what I mean? And I think that's why it takes. Look at Trisha Paytas. She's the most creative mommy on the planet. Who is that? Trisha. You don't know who Trisha Paytas is? No. This is going to get weird. What Trisha, you don't know who Trisha Paytas is? No. This is going to get weird.

Starting point is 00:29:45 What? Babe, I don't know who anybody is. She's this like amazing YouTuber who just became a mommy in the last couple years and it's just like her whole, she's just nailing motherhood

Starting point is 00:29:55 on TikTok somehow and on YouTube. Uh-huh. She's just like, she does this like tavern character in her basement and then she like entertains her kid with it

Starting point is 00:30:03 but it's also funny on TikTok. Okay. It's also not funny. Like it's weird. Her gender reveal outfits were so cute. She's always her husband. She's always like putting her husband in outfits and stuff. It's so funny. It's like, you're going to have to send me this. Yeah, I will. Yeah. But pitch is not, it's not funny. The pitch isn't killing. Yeah. isn't killing. Yeah, I don't think it would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fair. I feel like a big question mark that I think about a lot other than what horrible massacre will my birth be is will I like want to keep working or will I want to just totally devote my life to my baby or is it the most likely thing which is like I'll want both? It depends. Like where are you at? I'm I want both. I want to I want to keep working and I want to hang out with her and I want to bring her with me and like you know I have one kid so I'm like I can kind of do that. What are your SNL hours? That's a bad question. Yeah I don't know

Starting point is 00:31:02 how to answer that. It's like it depends. I thought you were going to say that's the greatest question you've ever heard. I was like, oh my God, I feel like that's like the best question. Yes, you're like, it's such a professional question. Because isn't it like you guys work all night? Yeah, so like Tuesday is like writing night and you work all night. And then, but I like, you know, Tuesday and Wednesday, I don't go into work until like 3 p.m. A lot of the day I'm with her and then I come home a little bit late and I, you know, like she wakes up in the middle of the night and I'm there to like feed her in the middle of the night. So it doesn't feel like I'm missing too much, actually.

Starting point is 00:31:38 Like the only days that I really feel like I'm missing are like all of Saturday. Yeah. And then I miss like bedtime Tuesday and I miss no that's it Tuesday's the only day that I like it's not every week yeah so how's it been in the entertainment industry after you've had a child it's like I mean it's easy in the sense that it's the same you know like I don't feel any different. But there is, like, it's so f***ing toxic the way that women are, like, supposed to, like, snap back and, like, we're supposed to be, like, on top of our game.

Starting point is 00:32:14 Because you do, I do feel significantly dumber because my brain is, like, I'm spread so f***ing thin that it's just, you know, I don't remember. Like, I literally texted you yesterday and was like, how was the glucose thing? And then this morning, we talked about it. And then this morning I texted her again, how was the glucose thing? And was like, wait, we covered this. Nevermind. Whitney was saying that to me too yesterday. She was like, mom, brain's real. It is real. It is real.

Starting point is 00:32:43 Is it because you're thinking about? It's because you're thinking about 17 things at the same time. But I feel sharper at this. I also feel sharper because I can do more than I ever thought I could do because I'm just, it's like survival. So it's, it is, it's tricky, but you figure it out. You know what I mean? And it's like, there's nothing to worry about because whatever you decide, that's going to be the thing you want. So why would you feel, you know what I mean and it's like there's nothing to worry about because whatever you decide that's going to be the thing you want so why would you feel you know what I mean like I was so worried

Starting point is 00:33:11 that I wouldn't want to do stand-up anymore I was so worried that I wouldn't want to do but now that I'm in this I'm like if I chose not to do stand-up anymore it's because I want to be with my kid so I'm still choosing the thing that makes me happiest. So there's really nothing to like worry about. Did I ever tell you guys when I first started dating Dave, like a month in, I was like, I've got Dave. I think I don't, in my head, I'm like, I don't need to work anymore. And I, one morning I was like, I think I'm going to quit standup. And like a couple hours later, Dave was like, I think it's really weird that you're suddenly quitting the thing you do. And I was like, yeah, okay, never mind.

Starting point is 00:33:51 I just like walk it back. Wait, I also want to tell you about the glucose test. So it's this like thing that you do in pregnancy in 28 weeks where you have to drink this like syrupy sugar drink and then wait an hour and they test your blood sugar, whatever. to see if you're diabetic or gestational diabetes yeah and online everyone's like it's so horrifying it tastes like syrup you're gonna be so nauseated it's so gross so for six months i've been like i'm so scared it's gonna make me sick i literally loved it you loved it it was so good so good you're like delicious can i have another so good. It was so f***ing good. You're like, delicious.

Starting point is 00:34:25 Can I have another? So good. Yeah. I thought it was gross, but I wasn't like, this isn't the worst thing I've ever tried. Like, clearly you guys. Well, you have a history of a sweet tooth. Yes. I don't know where you're at these days.

Starting point is 00:34:37 I just know where you were when we became friends. There's a lot of bags of gummy bears. Yes, I love gummy bears. There's things around. There were gummy things gummy shapes all sorts of being fed to you by your keeper by my roommate keeper i had a roommate who was my keeper when i met esther she was living in a studio apartment with a a woman an avocado heir and she was oh my god esther had like a small little my own little bed

Starting point is 00:35:03 yeah and she was cared for we slept in the same room. I love I've never been happier. She was cared for. That's so nice. Yeah. I'm like Dave should we get separate beds so it feels more like. When you're moving into Dave you're like Annie do you want to move in here. I was living in my car. I was like I think I need to stay in the car. I remember you wanting to move in. There was options. But I remember I couldn't. I was like I can't. I can't. I don't think I would have thrived in that situation. How long ago was this? That was probably like 14 years. 12 or 11? 13 or 14 years ago. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you do at a camp. No, I couldn't sleep over.

Starting point is 00:35:37 Yeah, see, I didn't either. So I feel like I'm always trying to have that experience. Camp ruled. I love camp. Camp was so good. Camp ruled. I love camp. Camp was so good. Camp was awesome. Like being in a room with someone and like. I never was like, oh, I need to be at my parents' house.

Starting point is 00:35:50 I was never like that. I always wanted to be like gone. I was like, I want to be out. I love friends, sleepovers. I want to go. Yeah. I was like, there's so many times I tried to run away. Like just for, just to see, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:36:02 They come for you. I wasn't even mad. I was just like, I'm going to go. Just to see what happens. Yeah. Nobody noticed. noticed they were just like we have five kids yeah get lost they can afford yeah when I was 13 they were ready for me to leave the village they were like get out one other thing that I wanted to bring up earlier that I forgot was the reason that not being able to eat a lot right now like because the acid reflux it makes it so I can only eat a small amount and I have to eat very bland foods a lot is coming up for me because I have a very serious

Starting point is 00:36:34 emotional dependence on being able to eat what I want and I'm like I feel like I'm going through that on top of it all where I'm just like, oh, I have to sit with my uncomfortable feelings. And I don't know. I'm just. Are you finding other things to do? Are you journaling or anything? I am journaling a lot. I'm journaling a lot.

Starting point is 00:36:51 It's hard with these nails, isn't it? Yeah. I was like, oh, my palms are. You're like, I'm just speaking into Siri. Yeah. I'm like, dear diary. Like, what do you guys do when you're the discomfort hits? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:37:05 I take a special little drug called semi-glutide and I no longer have those things. I just eat like a regular person now. Really? Wow. So how is it going? I really like it. It's helping my brain a lot. What is it? How is it affecting you? I just am not having like obsessive thoughts. I just eat. I'm hungry. I'm hungry. I'm having a very different experience than everyone else that I've heard that's on it. Everyone's like, my stomach hurts. I'm not hungry. I'm like, no, I'm hungry.

Starting point is 00:37:31 I just eat regular meals. You're not getting nauseous? Not even a little bit. Nothing's no bad effect. Yeah, most people are like, I can't eat on Ozempic. Yeah. And you're like. Maybe I'm not on the same dose as them or something.

Starting point is 00:37:42 Okay. But I don't even have like a will to lose weight anymore. Like before I was like, oh, I could lose some weight. Now I'm on it. I'm like, oh, I feel great. You're just like at peace on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like me on weed.

Starting point is 00:37:54 It's just like, oh, that fixed things. When I'm on weed, I'm like, what did I say yesterday? Oh my God. What have I done? I'm like, so I get like so doubtful and filled with shame when I smoke weed. It's so bad for me. Yeah. It's not for me.

Starting point is 00:38:10 Esther, is that the thing you miss the most, would you say? Weed? I would have said that in the beginning. And now I just want to not have a sour taste in my mouth. I just want to be comfortable. Like I want to feel comfortable. You want to give birth. That's really what it is.

Starting point is 00:38:24 Yeah. and the other thing too is it's like there's a lot of thoughts about what's the postpartum gonna be and it's like I just want to get on the other side and be on the journey to recovery so it's weird that like I'm this next three months are just so that's what I want okay so are you feeling like impatient like you wish you could like snap your fingers and the baby's here or do you feel like you need three months to be like prepared to take care of it no I want it I want this over I'll figure it out on the spot that's fine yeah I don't I felt that way too I was like I'm pretty sure I got this I just am so uncomfortable I want to be I want to feel better and nine months is such an interesting like time

Starting point is 00:38:59 period because it's so much time and also so little time it's like actually 10 months too yeah it's always like it's longer I don't really how, like I can't do the math, but there's a couple of like trimester or there's like certain trimesters that are like more than fucking 12 weeks or whatever. But anyway, yeah, it's hard when it's over. It's, you are so crazy. What do you mean? For a little while. Wait, what do you mean?

Starting point is 00:39:23 Like. What do you mean? Like you just, do you mean like what do you mean like you just I can't describe it I just like was crying maybe it's because I haven't cried I literally didn't cry for like so long that when I when she was born I was like why can't I stop I can't stop crying like and then my mom my mom actually to her credit knew this and I did not know this like I kept putting the baby down to go cry because I was like, I don't want to like fuck up the baby with like me like sobbing over her. And my mom was like, no, you need to lie down on the couch. I'm going to put the baby on your chest and you will feel better. And I didn't know that the baby actually makes you feel better.

Starting point is 00:40:01 Like, I had no idea that that actually, like, lowers your anxiety levels and, like, raises your oxytocin. And, like, I just didn't know any of that. I just thought, I was like, oh, I don't want to, like, piss her off, like, crying all over. Frozen embryos are keegling right now, by the way. They're in the freezer just keegling. I will say donut provides that comfort for me. Yep. How do you feel about your, how many dogs do you have? One. One dog. How did you feel about your, how many dogs do you have? One. One dog.

Starting point is 00:40:27 How did you feel about your dog when your daughter was born? I don't care. Yeah, it's different now, right? I don't care. Like, I forget. Like, you don't care about the dog. I don't. Oh, my gosh.

Starting point is 00:40:35 I love her. Yeah, of course. But I don't think about her. This won't be me. It will. It won't be. I will check in and be honest when it happens,

Starting point is 00:40:44 but I don't, I can't. Do you know what I'm imagining? I've been a dog mom. You know what? I shouldn't say it, Will. I will check in and be honest when it happens, but I don't. Do you know what I'm imagining? I've been a dog mom. You know what? I shouldn't say it, Will. I'm imagining you. There's definitely a possibility that it could. But Natasha's the same thing. This is what I want for you.

Starting point is 00:40:54 I want there to be a baby carrier for twins. Yeah. And I want baby and dog in the carrier. Dave keeps being like, Donut, that's sister. Like, your sister is coming. Yeah. That's her primary name in our household is Donut's sister. But I know it'll

Starting point is 00:41:07 change. Do you have a name? Kind of. Dave, like, told it to two of his friends and they had a really negative reaction. You cannot tell people the name. I know. You can't. I'm also like, they're losers, Dave. Like, who cares? Yeah, it's gonna be a swing. Also, his name is Dave and yours is

Starting point is 00:41:24 Esther. So it's like, you do is going to be good. Yeah. He has a normal name. You have an elderly woman's name. You have a cool name. Yeah. Because those names are coming back. It's coming around, but it was a rough.

Starting point is 00:41:36 How do you feel about your name? Because you have a unique name. I like it. Did you not like it when you were little? No, I mean, I was called Bud my whole childhood. I'm like i don't you know rosebud is like the feminine version of that and then yeah i just i've always liked like weird names i've always liked them yeah me too yeah banana break thank you thank you so much after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers,

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Starting point is 00:48:21 is a big shift from pregnancy and babies, but are you morning sex or afternoon sex? I'm no sex. Thank you. Got that part sewn up too, right? How did you not offer night sex? I'm sorry. Night sex. I'm a night sex person, so I don't know why I didn't. No, night sex. Night sex, right? Yeah. I feel like a lot of men are morning. Men are morning sex because their testosterone levels are the highest in the morning. I like mourning sex with a you where you just cry. Yeah. You suffer. You suffer all your losses at once.

Starting point is 00:48:54 I love a spelling joke on a body. For me. Good girl. Because I'm learning. Big girl. I'm definitely a night sex. I think I like mourning sex because it's more intimate because you smell and you're like grosser. That's disgusting.

Starting point is 00:49:08 Julian. When you're the right partner, you can tell her. It's like nice. No. No. I've definitely married my soulmate. I don't want to f***ing smell him. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:49:18 I love him, but I don't want to. I'm like, don't f***ing stink near me. I do love that Todd like does not, will not go out unshowered. And it's a little annoying sometimes because I'm like, don't you want to go on do love that Todd, like, does not, will not go out unshowered. And it's a little annoying sometimes because I'm like, don't you want to go on a walk or go to the coffee shop or whatever? And he's like, no, he has to shower. That's really fascinating. This is one thing that I have to say I love about Dave. But also sometimes I'm like, well, it's just he's the perfect guy for me because he and I will forget to shower for a long time.

Starting point is 00:49:44 And I love that because I I people like I remember when I would hang out with Benji all the time he would all he would shower like three times a day but like I do find the comfort in like a guy that's just like dirty right and doesn't care about his own cleanliness although I just don't want to like them yeah but that's cute scrub that cock up is todd catholic was he catholic no no he just likes to be clean i love how i'm like there needs to be a serious reason why he showers because that's imagine todd was just really religious and i never told you wait did you really get the greatest snake a huge snake? We have six snakes. How are we just now bringing this up?

Starting point is 00:50:26 We have six snakes because, guys, you have real children. No, but six snakes? I saw this. I sent this to everyone in my family. My new snake. I was going to bring him, but I didn't know if you were scared of snakes. I don't care if you are. Thank you for not bringing him.

Starting point is 00:50:41 No, no, no. I don't care if you're scared. I've known you too long, bitch. This is the third year. This is the third year. I don't care if you're scared. I've known you too long, bitch. This is the third year. This is the third year. It's not, I don't have a picture of him up there. It was on our story. It's big though.

Starting point is 00:50:51 It looks like Britney Spears. He is so awesome. What kind of snake? He is a butter itchy. It's a boa. He's so cute. Okay, so my next episode of Annie Wood, he's around my neck the whole time.

Starting point is 00:51:02 And then his tails are on here and he's holding the mic to me. If I can train, I don't know if this is possible. If I can train this snake to move microphones to who's talking, can you imagine the man on the streets? Oh my God. Do you ever worry it's going to eat like you eat you? No. What? I hear this story every day. I hear this story every goddamn day. You f***ing hacks. F***ing talking s***. Is Randy safe? Randy is fine and Randy's never gonna, we're never gonna, they're never gonna be. Oh, it is big.

Starting point is 00:51:32 It is big. Oh, the best. Because all of them are babies. Like, all of our snakes will get this big, but we have to wait years. Wow, their colors are gorgeous. And I bought him from, okay, so I went to the, Why do you need six though here's the thing once you get a reptile you're like it's an addiction reptiles they're so beautiful they're

Starting point is 00:51:50 so cool there's all these different breeds and my dad always asks how's Todd because he met him that one time in Palm Springs and I'm like well Todd is addicted to reptiles and he had to come out he had to come out yeah before the engagement he did and i was like yeah he's like i'm a reptile guy how soon before like how into the relationship did he come out about the reptiles it was like six months ago there's a lot of guys on like and we have 15 reptiles you're up to 15 okay so i went to the reptile super show this is it's outside of there and to do man on the street and todd i'm always out of town when it's when it's happening so Todd's always like facetiming me and I'm like why are you not paying attention he's like he's always like in this frenzy and I'm like what do you just leave the

Starting point is 00:52:31 reptile you're being crazy and then I went and I was like like the first thing I saw was this gecko I don't know what kind of gecko it is but it's like it's got eyes like this big I started crying I was like hey need one is so cute they're just it's like moving living art and it's like so fun to take care of them I got a pine snake um a couple like a month ago and that was gonna be my snake and I was gonna like train him to want to hang out with me and stuff yeah but he had been when I when I first saw him we were in at the reptile store and they they didn't have a big enclosure for him yet so he was just living in this like little box. And I felt so bad for him. And I was like, oh my God, I want to rescue you.

Starting point is 00:53:09 And he was like looking at me. He was like, get me out of here. And then he immediately like burrowed into the dirt. And I've never seen him again. And I was like, fuck. I was like, I want my snake. And then people at the reptile store were like, oh, you can just put less dirt in. But I was like, I can't.

Starting point is 00:53:23 He's too happy. He's like living his best life. So then I was like, I can't. He's too happy. He's like living his best life. So then I was like, I'll just get another snake. Do you feel like the snake loves you? Like do you feel the love from like – He hugged me. Okay. So when I went to the reptile – there's like all of these different booths and stuff.

Starting point is 00:53:36 And there was a booth with all girls. There was one – it was a trans boy too. But we had to go through the process of me finding that out. But immediate misgender. I was like, look at all these hot ladies. Sorry. My bad. But so I was like, what's the story?

Starting point is 00:53:52 What's going on here? And so the woman told me that her husband had been cheating on her for 22 years. And she found out and he left her with all of these snakes. So it was her divorce sale. So I had to buy. Oh my gosh. Do you feel like your love of reptiles is influenced by your love of Todd? Or do you think you like already loved reptiles?

Starting point is 00:54:16 I think I would never, if I was dating any of my ex-boyfriends and they tried to pull this shit on me, I would have been like. You'd be like, get out. Go f*** yourself. Right. But I was very, it's exciting to see Todd excited about something and doing something. Todd, like, works so hard.

Starting point is 00:54:28 He's always working. So you don't think it was just like a sort of a latent love of reptiles that you hadn't discovered without him? I've always liked,

Starting point is 00:54:37 I've always been like a pick-me girl in the sense of like, I've always wanted to like appear tough because I have brothers. I don't know. I always wanted to like, be like, that's not pick't know I always wanted to like be like let's not pick me trying to be like cool to my brothers and like I would

Starting point is 00:54:49 say like oh I don't know I always was like trying to be like fit in with the guys not afraid of spiders and stuff yeah but then it became the truth and then I'm not like afraid of anything and my mom was really afraid of snakes she there's like one of our stories that she always tells which I'm like you can stop telling this one. We were like little babies. She had two, you know, I have my twin brother and then my older brother's two and a half years older. So we were just so little. And we were in a canoe at her cousin's place in Vermont and they have a pond. And she, in the canoe where they put the rope that ties the canoe up, there was like a bunch of snakes and my mom's like deathly for them. So she just dropped us and abandoned us in the canoe. Honestly, was like a bunch of snakes and my mom's like deathly for them. So she just

Starting point is 00:55:25 dropped us and abandoned us in the canoe. Honestly, relatable. I would do the same thing. So I think because I was like, well, my mom's kind of a bitch. I've always been like, maybe I'll get a bunch of snakes. How does she feel about the snakes? She's cute about it. I think that we started watching all these reptile YouTubes and stuff. I think a lot of these reptile places kind of help people get over these fears. And I love conquering fears. You know that shit. I love to, like, whatever I'm afraid of, I like to do it and have the high afterwards of surviving.

Starting point is 00:55:53 And so I do think that we're raising, like, good snakes. I hate conquering fears. Really? I love it. I really hate it. I have no interest in conquering a fear. I just, if I'm afraid of something, I'm like, that's not for me. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:07 Yeah. I'm like, no, I'm good. I kind of lean more towards that. Like, I still haven't learned how to ride a bike or swim. Well, the fact that you started doing drugs in any way was the wildest thing. I never thought I would see it. I couldn't believe it. When did you start smoking weed?

Starting point is 00:56:23 Literally, it was all because of my miscarriage which is sort of sad but rock on um i miscarriage is sort of sad after my dnc the surgery where they like take it out because it's called a dnc a dnc yeah so after uh that i like a couple days after the surgery, I was it. I just had this horrible pain, like bleeding really, really bad on the floor of the bathroom. Like, I think I'm going to die. Never felt so bad. And then I was like, oh, my God, I just remembered they gave me prescription pain pills. Go get them.

Starting point is 00:57:03 Took one. Felt high the first time in my life and was like I I'm so happy I love this and then I was telling some of my guy friends I was like you guys I tried hydrocodone and it is awesome I want to do it more and they're like whoa like yeah no no don't do that don't do that yeah and then one of them was like i think what you're looking for is just like weed and i was like okay and then i that's when i like tried an edible i'm so glad you're not a pill head can you imagine ester was just a pill head oh god the constipation alone oh i can't i don't even i i avoid painkillers at all costs because of that awful being constipated is a is my but now i do still take a half a one when i get really bad

Starting point is 00:57:46 period cramps and that does really help me like i'm still pampering if you decide 1982 if you decide to do a c-section make sure that you they they like will give you like fentanyl and whatever and like just make sure that they don't if you want to be like present enough to like remember it, there's like an anxiety thing that they can give you without you getting like f***ed up. Really? Is that what you did? Yeah. Wait, so were you really mild on the pain stuff because of addiction? Yeah, I didn't.

Starting point is 00:58:17 So like everything, I was like once. We do it so different. I'm like free laps. No, like once they were done, I was like just give me Tylenol and Motrin. I'll just take that. Was it hard to not, because you can't really laugh and shit when you have a C-section? Yeah, but nothing was funny anyway. You're like, Andy, you've turned into a hack since the baby came out of me. Yeah, I was like, this sucks. Like, nothing was funny. Everything was so real. And I was so like,

Starting point is 00:58:42 everything just felt like, like, I would try to write a joke and I'd be like I feel like that's gonna hurt somebody's feelings like I've never thought that in my life and it was I was like this is crazy and then after like a month I was like all right I'm back that's really okay now how long did your c-section hurt I felt better literally the day of my c-section I felt better than I did pregnant so I truly that's like how much pain I was in you know so it was it was great I was I was up I was walking around it was hurt it was painful but it wasn't anything compared to carrying around a f***ing fetus it really sucks huh it sucks it's so bad what are you gonna do with your placenta I don't wanna I don't know her I don't

Starting point is 00:59:24 I don't want to know her I don't want to. I don't know her. I don't want to know her. I don't want to know her. Did you do something with that? No. I'm good. I don't remember. Did Whitney? I feel like Whitney would have done something so weird with it.

Starting point is 00:59:33 Yeah, I don't know. Like, she probably, like, drugged us with it at some point. Like, we probably ingested her placenta. When did the placenta eating thing start? Was that the Kardashians that started that? No, it had to have started before that. Dogs do it, though. It's so funny to see a dog give birth and then just go like. Yeah, it's nasty. They that the Kardashians that started that? No, it had to have been No, it had to have started before that. Dogs do it, though.

Starting point is 00:59:46 It's so funny to see a dog give birth and then just go like... Yeah, it's nasty. They eat the bags. Yeah. It's so cute. I don't know about cute.

Starting point is 00:59:52 I know. I remember being so traumatized. My dog had puppies when I was like eight. Oh, what? And I was the first in the dog. Best life experience ever.

Starting point is 00:59:59 I was horrified. Tell us everything. Your dog had puppies? Yes. That's really sweet. My parents read her and it was... They took her to the... She was a Bichon. They took her to? Yes. My parents bred her. That's really sweet. They took her to the, she was a Bichon.

Starting point is 01:00:08 They took her to this like farm. She definitely got like, everyone was inbred. Everything was inbred. She came back. She smelled so bad. I remember we were like driving her back from the, it's like we just took our dog to like a gang. We got our dog. She was already like an autistic dog that you like pet her and she removes herself from

Starting point is 01:00:24 the room. Yeah. You have like, if she laid on you, you be like don't move pinky's gonna stay and then you'd like touch her or like have any joy and she was out she's like i'm not here for you yeah she's probably like you got me which was how i felt about my parents for a long time my grandma's dog over the holidays was sexually assaulted and got pregnant. By you? No. Your grandma's dog was sexually assaulted? Yeah. All of a sudden, one day, they were like, she's not feeling well. And they took her in.

Starting point is 01:00:52 And they're like, she's pregnant. But all the puppies didn't make it. And they had to give her an emergency surgery. She got a DNC? Yeah. Well, that's more than that. That happens, like, all the time with dogs. Like, one of them doesn't make it, right?

Starting point is 01:01:03 If they have, like, multiple puppies. Yeah, a bunch. It happens with snakes, too with dogs. Like one of them doesn't make it, right? If they have like multiple puppies. They have, yeah, a bunch. It happens with snakes too, guys. Wait, what? Are you going to have like- How do snakes give birth? They have eggs. I feel like they have to do it out of their mouth.

Starting point is 01:01:14 Oh, right. They lay eggs. I don't know where they come from. Yeah, where does it come out? There's a little- I had a snake in college. There's a little- In college?

Starting point is 01:01:20 Yeah. Damn, you were like, I'm never getting laid. Yeah, well. Where did it work? I was encloseted, so. Oh, you were like, I'm never getting laid. Yeah, well. Where did it work? I was encloseted, so. Oh, you were closeted. You were like, I need something cock-like in my room. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:31 Exactly. So they lay eggs. How big are the eggs? I mean, I think it depends. I think they're like this big. Bow ones can be really big. And they can be like soft, too. Like really soft.

Starting point is 01:01:40 Do you want me to bring the snake in? Yeah. I was just going to ask that. I kind of wish you brought it in today. I know. I can't care about your feelings anymore. Esther, you and me will be on the same page. It's been nine months. It's like so many months. I can't be going so easy on you. I would, as long as it doesn't touch me, I'm fine. I just don't, I'm not ready to touch a snake pregnant. I'm excited to see how Kalilah reacts. She'll probably be into it. Or not. Wouldn't it

Starting point is 01:02:04 be fun if there was a twist? There's always always sometimes there's a twist with kalilah yeah that's true what's kalilah's sign uh none of us know scorpio oh scorpio scorpio okay all right what's yours i'm pisces um march 16th do you know what sucks about being a cancer is i can never wear the necklace everyone can wear their it's like you can't wear Cancer around your neck. But honestly, we don't need to wear Pisces around our neck. Nobody needs to be wearing their sign around their neck. I think that's good for you. I think this is good.

Starting point is 01:02:34 But I hear what you're saying. It is the worst name for all time. It's weird. I work lab and it's 69. You could wear the sign, the 69 sign. That's fun. And then you get a lot out of that. You guys get a fun sign. Yeah 69 sign. That's fun. And then you get a lot out of that. You guys get a fun sign.

Starting point is 01:02:45 Yeah. Yeah. It is fun. Mine is the water or whatever, and I can't swim, so I have to live with that. You can swim. You just don't. You just don't want to. I can't swim.

Starting point is 01:02:57 That's a funny way to put it. I choose not to. I always think of Esther as the little, the baby in Nirvana. Just throw her in the thing with her little penis. Throw her in the pool. Tiny little penis. Throw her in the pool. Tiny little baby penis. And he's a Cancer. I know.

Starting point is 01:03:07 I think that's why we get along. Yeah. Yeah. He is a Cancer too. I know. I dated a Cancer and I was like, I can't. No. Do you think there's truth to that?

Starting point is 01:03:15 Because my best childhood best friend and Dave are both the same sign. Is that like a thing? Are we? Truth to what? That we're attracted to the same thing. You didn't say the thing. I've only dated Geminis. You can't read my mind yet?

Starting point is 01:03:29 That like you get a, you have the same sort of similar connection with people who have the similar, like both two cancers. I've never dated the same sign over and over. Oh my God. That's happened to me. I only have dated Geminis my whole life. It's crazy. I can't believe it.

Starting point is 01:03:42 Wait, are you a Gemini? No, I'm a Cancer. But I'm just saying every guy I've ever dated has been a Gemini. Dave, Christina are Geminis my whole life. Really? I can't believe it. Wait, are you a Gemini? No, I'm a Cancer. But I'm just saying every guy I've ever dated has been a Gemini. Dave, Christina are Geminis. Yeah. I've never dated the same sign. I've always, it's always been a different sign. Have you had any, okay, so like this past.

Starting point is 01:03:55 Because you like water. Yeah, I'm kind of like, well, that didn't work. Let's try something new. Yeah, yeah. I'm not like water. I can confirm. I don't go with any flow. I actually don't feel like I'm very Pisces from

Starting point is 01:04:06 when I well like when I read the descriptions fake and stupid yeah but Annie just because of your necklace now we're all on this no I asked I asked I asked what Kalilah was I know well signs are like yeah she did start it yeah it's you yeah you have to just put it on me such a Pisces cunt. Such a Pisces thing to do. I don't know anything about the signs, but it's fun to play with. I always say like with like tarot and stuff, it's like if I start to like, if I go to see a psychic, like I'm not doing well. Yeah, no. Like if I'm like, I'm like.

Starting point is 01:04:36 I could have told you that. Yeah. But it's like so like. It's fun for like a date idea. You know what I mean? Oh, that's hot. If you go on like a date and you get your tarot cards read, that's like a fun date. That does sound hot.

Starting point is 01:04:47 It's like a fun, silly thing. It's very scary. I had a tarot reader at my birthday party and it was a huge hit. Yeah, that's like a fun party trick. Because it's just a woman telling you.

Starting point is 01:04:53 Yeah. Oh, do you know what I actually had done at my sex party, my New Year's sex party? It wasn't my party. I went to a party. There was a guy

Starting point is 01:05:00 who did tea tree, tea leaf readings. Yeah, like Harry Potter. So they do, is that what he did? Well, the leaf readings. Like Harry Potter. So they do. Is that what he did? Well, the woman. You are something, Julian. You are something.

Starting point is 01:05:11 It must have been hard to stay in that closet. It must have been. You must have been clinging at the door. You just wanted to bust open and show like fucking. Shivering. Cold. Jazz hands. Cold, dark universe.

Starting point is 01:05:23 Oh my God. He was just. You had a dildo in that closet with you didn't you wait so what was the sex party it was okay so new year's i i was like texting the girls i was like what are you guys doing for new year's i saw a movie with my parents i also was texting you yeah oh because you were like i'm stuck at home and i was like I'm at home I I made the mistake of I watched my niece who's a toddler while my sister went to a concert because my sister's pregnant again and I was like this is the last time she's gonna get to do a new year's like where she like gets to go all out so I was like I'll watch Lucy but like my family was in town for like forever they just

Starting point is 01:06:03 kept coming like in waves and then my sister came, and I was like, I'll watch Lucy. And then—so it was just like—I was like, this is, like, the worst. I can't— It's so rough. It's so rough. And I was like, I can't do this. I wanted to stay home for the holidays because I thought, okay, we have a newborn. Like, it's easy.

Starting point is 01:06:19 Everyone came to us. Everyone was like, we're coming to see the baby. And I was like, okay, I didn't— It just feels like never—and, like, the holidays, like like it's just. They're just never going to end. Yeah, it's forever. They're forever. And we're never going to escape. And it's, I guess we're lucky our families love us. I think New Year's Eve should be canceled. I think it's so stupid. I love New Year's Eve. Why? That's so weird. I think New Year's Eve should be your birthday. I've always loved New Year's Eve. I'm like. I've only had the most fun time. Moving with my parents,

Starting point is 01:06:44 go to bed early. I love that feeling. Wake up refreshed the next day. I'm like moving with my parents, go to bed early. I love that feeling. Wake up refreshed the next day. I don't know. Oh my God. When I drank, New Year's Eve was just so fun. Yeah. I loved it when I drank.

Starting point is 01:06:53 I love it. I just feel like wake up in some weird Brooklyn apartment. Yeah. New boyfriend. I'm like, ooh, I have a new boyfriend. Yeah. And I want to get to the sex party. Obviously, I'm wet.

Starting point is 01:07:02 But what is the New Year's Eve that you are wanting that would be so great so like this judgmental face I want to know no maybe maybe I'll let her live no no New York is different like I was just telling them like New York you have like this big community of people that you f***ing love that you they're like your family you stay up until 7 a.m you come out of the bar the sun's coming up you're just like arm and arm with each other it's like it doesn't matter sober drunk like my I could be standing next to somebody fully on molly and it's like I am telling them that I love them you know what I mean it's like it doesn't I just like love new year's eve

Starting point is 01:07:42 I love being with people it's a It's like a secular ending and beginning. It's so fun. There's so much pressure on New Year's. I don't feel that pressure. I think it's fucking, I don't know. It's like, it's a new year. It doesn't feel like pressure to me. It feels like possibilities.

Starting point is 01:07:57 It's like a birthday we're all having at the same time. Yes. And some people don't like their birthdays. I love my birthday. Yeah, I don't like my birthday, but I love New Year's Eve. Why don't you like your birthday? Because it's all about me. And I don't—

Starting point is 01:08:10 It's embarrassing. That's embarrassing. Yeah. It's like—and then you have a party, and you invite a bunch of people, and it's always the one that you don't want that shows up first. And you're like, oh, God. But as the birthdays go on— I didn't even want you to come.

Starting point is 01:08:21 You know what I mean? But as the birthdays go on, those invites stop going out. I was talking to all my girlfriends that I hung out with in Santa Fe or like in their late 40s and 50s. I was saying how I really want to stop. And I've been working on just like, like, I don't want to like put myself out for other people's feelings anymore. It's just like so disrespectful to myself. Like, I just want to be with my boundaries and stop like, you know. Yeah. It might not be good for you, but this might end up bad for you. No, like, but can I just, I'm sorry to keep interjecting here, but like, this has been a

Starting point is 01:08:50 huge thing for pregnancy that I'm realizing is when you're pregnant, I can't put my mask on before someone else's because that's taking over for me. And it, and I don't operate well like that. I need to put my mask on meet my needs so that I can be great for everyone else yeah it doesn't so yes I've never I've never seen you as someone that doesn't put their mask on first and that's why pregnancy is not easy oh I see what you're saying no pregnancy is like I I need I need to know I admire that part of pregnancy and I'm like oh that would be so nice to be like only living to take care of this thing. But I.

Starting point is 01:09:26 Yeah, it's the opposite. It's really hard. But so, yes, like that is the I think all women need to be a little more selfish. But they were saying my but my girlfriends were saying they're like, well, welcome to your 40s. Like that's this is the decade of that. It's like going to rule. Yeah. OK, that's good.

Starting point is 01:09:41 So when I turn 40 in 10 years, it'll be. Wait, so tell us about the sex party. Okay, so I met these guys. Todd and I were watching these guys, Danny Burke and Reckless Ben. They have YouTube channels where they infiltrate cults. And Todd for like months has been like, we've got to get these guys on Annie Wood. We've got to like hang out with these guys. These guys are so cool because they're these surfers. And they'll be like, they'll go into

Starting point is 01:10:06 these cults and be like, they were like not saying chill things about black people. Like they talk like surfers, but they're just, it's just so, they're so funny. But so I went and did a, he was talking to me about it. I go drive to La Jolla to do the comedy store. My friend Bobby was opening for me. He's like, oh, my friend Danny's here. He's like, so cool. He's got this YouTube channel where he infiltrates cults. And I was like, this is so weird. I'm meeting you right now because my fiance has been talking about you nonstop. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:10:30 And so then we like connected. They came on the podcast and we just hit it off. They're just like, they're so cute. And it's so funny when you get like one inch away from comedy people. Yeah. People are just precious and sweet and nice and kind and loving and supportive. Yes. So they just became our friends.

Starting point is 01:10:47 And so then it's like, you know, three days later, it's New Year's. And this guy, Danny Burke, is like, what are you guys doing for New Year's? I'm like, oh, my God, these are going to be like our New Year's plans. And we weren't really planning on anything. We're like, maybe just going to stay in because we're so tired from traveling from the holidays. And he goes, well, there's like Ben's girlfriend's having this party. I don't know if we're going to go or not. It was him and his girlfriend.

Starting point is 01:11:07 And they send us the flyer. It's the sex party. It's just the flyer is just a girl with cum all over her face. And we were like, well, I guess we got to go to that. That reminds me of the banana bread that my mom made that had a cinnamon icing on top. How? Oh, got it. I was like, how?

Starting point is 01:11:24 Interesting. So we had similar New Year's Eve. Keep? Oh, got it. I was like, how? Interesting. So we had similar New Year's Eve. Keep going. No, totally. You probably look just like after you ate it. Yeah. I'm sure there was

Starting point is 01:11:33 some acid reflux going on in the sex party too. Right. A little regurgitating. Yeah. Definitely some gagging. So we go. It was like in this

Starting point is 01:11:42 warehouse downtown. You had to like step over like so many scary homeless people. It was pitch black. Inside? No, no, no. To get in, it was wild. And then we get there and it was, they had like the tea tree readings or the leaf readings. They had VR set up and then they had a stage where there was like just different type of like sex acts. What was the VR set up? I honestly thought it was going to be a lot of like jizz coming on our faces, but it was, they, I think they're just coming up, the group of artists that threw this party are coming up with their own VR system or

Starting point is 01:12:13 something. So it was more just like, I was on Mushrooms too. So I was like, I was like, this is so weird. Cause it was like them rock climbing earlier that day. It was like all the people that had put the headset on me, but they were doing an activity that I was like watching. I was like, can I just go rock climbing with you? Did you and Todd have sex in public? No, nobody was really banging. Nobody was f***ing? There was one sex room. It was a little bit disappointing in that.

Starting point is 01:12:34 And I think it was actually the girl who was in the flyer was like giving a blowjob. It was fun. And like the guy, like as we like walked by, this guy was like looking us in the eye as this girl was blowing him. That was fun. That was fun, huh? But it was just like for, when you go to a sex party you want to see some sex and we left kind of early we left at one but they were at the strike of midnight they were there was a woman on stage um whipping a trans girl and um and then they tied her to a stake and tried to light her on fire but it didn't

Starting point is 01:13:01 work it was very funny it was so crazy tried to light her on fire, but it didn't work. It was very funny. It was so crazy. Tried to light her on fire? Yeah, it was funny. It was funny. It wasn't working. It was funny. They were, like, panicking. You know, Annie, go to a sex party. Very gay of you. No, I want to go to more.

Starting point is 01:13:13 I want to go to, like, the places where you have to, like, be a member or whatever. See, this is an example of something that before pregnancy I was, like, really, really wanted to do, and now I'm, like, I don't have an interest in that. That's actually a good example. Yeah, no, I wouldn't. I don't have the same interest that I think you might have had. I'm not going to fuck or anything. I'm just curious.

Starting point is 01:13:33 Yeah, you have a curious brain. I would also just want to watch, like just see what's going on. I have like a sex party scene in this movie I'm writing too, so I kind of want to like get intel. Which I know sounds fake, but I really am going for research. No, I just, I'm like, I feel like I'm just not as, I'm just not horny. Like I'm like not, I don't care anymore. Like when people talk about sex, I'm like, grow up.

Starting point is 01:13:58 That's how I feel. I'm aging out of, like I have to do a special because I'm like aging out of my jokes. I'm like, oh, that's weird to tell people about my squirting. I just, I just feel. Get this out before I'm like, oh, that's weird to tell people about my squirting. I just feel— I'm going to get this out before I'm horrified. It's so weird, right? It, like, starts to happen where you're, like, you're listening to your own shit talk about sex. And I'm like, I think this is natural, like, with comedy especially.

Starting point is 01:14:15 Like, if you don't look back at your jokes and go, like, why did I talk about that? Then you're not really getting better. Yeah. But I feel like when I hear my old jokes I'm just like oh god I suck I'm still like they're very well written on how cute was I but I'm like it's just not and it's hard like even just the changes of my life this past year like there's some material where I'm like I can't really I can't really sell this anymore but I it's but it's funny but it's like I it's not I don't got I don't have it well anymore. But it's funny. But it's like, it's not, I don't have it.

Starting point is 01:14:46 Well, isn't that how comedy works anyway? You just like get to some certain point where you're like, oh my God, I'm so beyond all these f***ing jokes. And you're like, should I put this in a special? Like, oh God. Right. By the time you're ready to shoot the special, you're just like. You hate everything.

Starting point is 01:15:00 Yeah. I thought that the whole, the good thing about getting older is that you get like hornier and want to have sex all the time. Is that not true? I don't feel horny. I don't feel that way. I had a really big boost from weed. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:15:13 But then pregnancy just obviously took that all away. I'm so afraid of getting pregnant that I am just so anxious around it. But I thought you were—have you kind of worked through that a little or no? It's still there it's just you know and like obviously everyone I know that's pregnant or has kids is like no they're you're never ready or whatever and I'm like yeah but it's just like I'm very close to achieving a specific level that I'm trying to get to so it's like it would just really f**k it up but I know it would be fine about it i was like it's just gonna f**k everything up yeah that's like how i felt and i feel like it did for me like i was like loving stand-up and i was planning on doing a special and all this stuff and then just like that's that all went away in my first trimester it's like there's no way so that's that's real and i think having the

Starting point is 01:15:59 frozen embryos gives me like it's like i sleep at night but my question was yeah same I was like let me freeze them just so that I can get this pressure I was so I couldn't sleep yeah and it's so weird I think the thing with motherhood like the idea of it that's like so hard for me is like I really wish that I just didn't want kids like I wish I could just say I absolutely don't want them but I can't and that's the thing like and but I can't say like I really want them either you know so it's like that's what's stressful I stand by both options are terrifying I know yeah both are both you don't win you know when you see like the comics who like didn't have kids and they're like talk about it all the time and you're like it feels like they aren't okay with it like and it's not my business and I don't know what people are thinking so it doesn't matter but I'm

Starting point is 01:16:44 like I do have like a fear of that of like wanting to keep like justifying my decision I always take people at their word like when they say that they're happy without having kids I believe them and maybe they do want to talk about it because it's like there's an absence I feel like that's actually something that like society does to us where it's like we won't believe that women are happy without kids and I think it's like internalized shit yeah um and us where it's like, we won't believe that women are happy without kids. And I think it's like internalized shit. Um, and I think it's unfair that women feel that we have to prove that we're happy because we don't, when we don't have kids, I think that's, that's up too. But I am like, I, I do take their word for it. I just feel like I got to a point where I was like, it I just feel like I got to a point where I was like I don't know if I want them I don't know if I don't I feel like I just want to make a choice and having the embryos allowed me to be like I

Starting point is 01:17:35 have the choice right like I can make the choice whenever I want and then obviously I got pregnant like two months after freezing embryos yeah Yeah. Like with active COVID. Yeah. But I liked your guys' engagement photos. Those were cute. Oh, thanks. Thanks. COVID-y engagement photos. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:51 They were totally like we were like in a sublet. Yeah. In LA. Did you know you were going to marry Andy when you first started dating him? I didn't know that I was going to marry him, but I knew that I wanted to get married. And so I told him, I was like, hey, I want to get married. So if you don't, I just, I'm going to, we should date other people if you don't want, if you're not open to like getting married again.

Starting point is 01:18:11 Why did you, why did you want to get married? I've always, I always wanted to be married. I just always like, I liked the idea of having a partner that like you could do everything with and that you spend your life with. And it's like, there's this kind of and that you spend your life with. And it's like, there's this kind of thing that you got to keep going. You got to, you got to keep working on yourselves together. And it was just, to me, it was really a cool idea. I know people are like, it's, it doesn't seem cool to get married. I always thought it was cool.

Starting point is 01:18:40 I see that now. Now I'm very grateful for that, but I wasn't, I don't know. I never. Wanted to get married. I wasn't, I don't know. I never. Wanted to get married. I never imagined myself in a wedding dress. Me either. I didn't either, but I wanted to be married. Yeah, but with Todd, he was like the first guy. Because there were like boyfriends I always had.

Starting point is 01:18:55 I was like, I can't marry. I got married on ecstasy in Santa Fe to a boyfriend I had who was cheating on me all the time. And it was like a joke, kind of like a joke thing. Like we didn't sign anything. But I remember being like in my head, like, I hope this isn't like legally binding in any way. This is not a funny joke if this actually. And then other boyfriends, like I did DMT with one of my ex-boyfriends and we had such a volatile, like crazy relationship. And I came out of the DMT trip being like, it feels like, like the DMT was telling me like, I need to be a mom.

Starting point is 01:19:26 And he was like, I knew you wanted to have kids. I was like, not with you. Oh my God. No, no, no, not with you. Yeah. I want the kids to survive. Right. Yeah. But it was like, I was like, I was with these people. I was like very unhealthy. Like there was never like an option to get married or have kids because the relationships were so healthy because I was so unhealthy. Yeah. I wasn't seeking out a thing that could work. But Todd is like so solid and it was like, oh, I love doing everything with you. It's like so fun to be with you all the time. Yeah. Do any of you feel pressure from your family to like have the kids or get married?

Starting point is 01:19:59 Todd's side, but not my side doesn't care. But Todd's side, like Todd's parents are in their mid-50s because Todd's young as hell but so and they're like but they have like Todd's dad's a roofer and then his mom is a is a bank teller or a bank a banker so they live kind of like their jobs are like difficult they're like you know going to the bank every day is like tedious and then being a someone that does manual labor they feel like so old. And my parents are in their seventies and eighties and they feel so young, you know? So it's like, so my parents don't, they're like, and they're, they have grandkids. And so everyone has grandkids

Starting point is 01:20:35 of my in-laws and my parents, but my father-in-law would be like, you gotta have kids now, Annie. Like, you know, life's over, you know? I'm like, what are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I don't feel that way at all. Right. But there's like that. But I always tell Todd's mom she can be the surrogate if she wants. Do you want to have them and raise them and I'll take them when they're 18? Yeah. Like, that's fine.

Starting point is 01:20:54 I'm busy, bitch. You all want my, do you want my generational wealth that I'm working on here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or not. Yeah. You at least, like, I know you didn't get to use your embryos, but now you have them. So if you ever, like, throw a second one in a surrogate. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:21:10 I'm like, I have six. Six girls. You have six girls? I have four boys. Four boys. What? Wait, you guys all have? That's so crazy.

Starting point is 01:21:19 You both have all the same gender. Andy is such a girl dad, though. Yeah, he is. He's such a girl dad. Yeah. I hate that content, though. Every time I see girl dad content, I'm like, ugh, God. I know. I love such a girl dad, though. Yeah, he is. He's such a girl dad. Yeah, I hate that content, though. Every time I see girl dad content, I'm like, ugh, God.

Starting point is 01:21:28 I love, I saw this. It always just looks like dad's trying to get laid for having, just for being a dad to a woman. Look how great I am, yeah. I'm like, f*** off.

Starting point is 01:21:36 I like the thing that... I'm like, I had a girl dad. I just called him dad. Like, it's... F***ing f*** off. I like the thing about people touching your baby that andy posted oh yeah yeah yeah yeah because we went to thanksgiving and it was like one of my dad's friends who was like hammered walked up and was like give me the baby and i hadn't prepared myself i just

Starting point is 01:22:00 thought nobody did that i just thought everybody knew not to do that so I handed her the baby and then I was just following her around like a freak like I was just like following her around and finally I just took her I just like grabbed her out of the woman's she was like what are you doing and I was like nope she's too new I was like give her to me it's like fear and loathing in Las Vegas it's like give me the baby he's like tripping on stuff yeah yeah no it's and there's it's funny too because it's like people will try to it's you know we're with comics so like comics we take swings and we'll try to make jokes and whatever and I remember like we had a comic over and somebody was like I think Andy was like oh I wouldn't let uh I didn't let so-and-so in the room while I was

Starting point is 01:22:38 changing her diaper and the the guy was like I tried I. I tried to watch, and I almost f***ing flew across the room. I was like— It wasn't a comic or it was a comic? It was a comic. Yeah. But I was like, you don't f***ing make fun of— Yeah. That's my kid.

Starting point is 01:22:52 That's not your bit. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was like, this isn't—we're not in a f***ing— This is different, yeah. This isn't a f***ing podcast. Like, I was like, that's my f***ing kid, and I—to this day, like, if anybody tries to make a joke about my kid, I have to physically, physically hold myself back from hitting them.

Starting point is 01:23:08 Like I, it's very difficult. Whoa. Yeah. I'm like, it's really. I won't make fun of your kid. It's crazy. I wonder. I won't.

Starting point is 01:23:16 Okay, thanks. Don't do it. No, I'm not going to make fun of your kid. Yeah, don't do it. I have not even made fun of you. You can make fun of me as a mom. You can make fun of Andy as a dad. But you cannot make fun of my kid. I've been wanting to make fun of her so bad and then I can't. It's like not in me made fun of you. You can make fun of me as a mom. You can make fun of Andy as a dad. But you cannot make fun of my kids.

Starting point is 01:23:25 I've been wanting to make fun of her so bad and then I can't. It's like not in me anymore. Thank you. You're in a different state. She's a different thing. Yeah, it's like it's— I'm becoming a different—it's weird. It's exciting to see, though.

Starting point is 01:23:36 Pregnancy is a boot camp that is changing me. You seem so much better, though. I don't feel better. I feel a lot worse. But maybe you've had to surrender to the feeling worse. I've had to surrender to a lot. And it is, I just feel like it is breaking down every fiber of my being and rebuilding me. Every fibroid of her being.

Starting point is 01:23:55 And to being something different and new. I've never done something for someone else. I've never made this kind of a huge sacrifice. And I can't, I'm on, you're on, once you're on the ride, you can't get off. No, it's crazy. So it's just, I'm forced to be in this and, and I'm letting it change me. I'm obviously kicking and screaming on my way, but like it's happening. And I'm, I don't know. I'm also, I think this is just pregnancy hormones and not like changes, but I'm very sensitive. No, that's this is just pregnancy hormones and not like changes. I'm very sensitive.

Starting point is 01:24:25 No, that's real. That's a real change. That'll happen. That'll last. Yeah. Like I'm so sensitive in ways that I never have been sensitive. Well, I'm glad I had the instinct to not make fun of you. Well, no, I don't think that.

Starting point is 01:24:38 I don't want to deal with that shit. But it's one thing you know. It's how to read a room. Oh, boy. It's more like. I know how to read a delivery room. Yeah. It's more just like I feel this like sensitivity of a connection with my family and a closeness.

Starting point is 01:24:53 Oh, that's so sweet. You have such a cute family. I love your parents so much. I just, I don't know. Or like when I was, this weekend I did a gig in San Jose. And I know that I've talked with this lady last summer. Like I love going on the road alone. I love it. It's so fun. And then I was pregnant on the road alone. And I it's all different now. You texted me about that. I was it was dark. I almost called you and

Starting point is 01:25:16 Kalilah. It was so dark. I was I just felt alone and isolated and sad. And that's not how I've ever been before. So you're just like what the there could have been a worst case scenario you could have been with some of your past openers which couldn't be a fate worse than hell that i mean there's nothing worse i've always been very shocked at your choices oh okay we're taking a swing oh wow we want to have some drama but you feel i feel like you have the road figured out perfectly because you'll have Andy and baby. And you get to do your job. Well, I haven't done it yet.

Starting point is 01:25:51 Are you going to try to drive or fly? I enjoy flying. Yeah. It's interesting. I'm very picky about the routing now because I'm traveling with a baby. So I want to make sure that the routing makes sense. Whereas before, I'd be like, yeah, take me from here to here. No, I want the routing to make sense.

Starting point is 01:26:07 Do you have Faraduni? Yeah. Because sometimes I'm like, what is, is this like a joke? Are you f***ing with me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be like, what is like, you want me to die of jet lag? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, every day I'm like, wait, I'm back there.

Starting point is 01:26:21 Wait, what's happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing like the Star of David. I'm like really getting into my Judaism. I'm like, what is f'm back there? Wait, what's happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm doing, like, the Star of David. I'm, like, really getting into my Judaism. I'm, like, what is f***ing going on? No, I didn't, I just didn't care before, but now I'm kind of, like, because I was just, like, I'm in hell anyway. But the router, too, has to be, like, a year in advance. You have to figure that out, too. It's, like, so much planning and preparing. Yeah, so I'm, like, and I don't think like that. Like, I'm not a planner.

Starting point is 01:26:45 So I have to show, I like show Andy the routing because he's so good at like planning shit and like knowing how it's going to play out. But he'll be like, oh, this doesn't make sense. Beyond that, I feel like it's pretty much the same. Because I feel like Natasha did it so cute too with Moshe, like where they just had like a RV. Just like going together and bringing the baby seems great. I'm just like, Todd, do you want a spot?

Starting point is 01:27:08 Because he was going on the road with me and I did. I had to stop like even requesting that from him because it's like he doesn't like traveling and he doesn't get the glory of the experience of performing for people. So it's like. He should come up on stage at the end with you. Dave and I did that a couple tour dates last year, and it was magnificent. Yeah, it is cute. He should just come up the last 10 minutes.

Starting point is 01:27:30 Just try it. He's really funny. He is so funny. Shoot the shit on stage. What was he saying yesterday? He just said shit where I'm like, this is so fucking funny. Yeah, Todd is funny. Oh, it was crazy what he was doing.

Starting point is 01:27:41 Actually, I can't repeat it, but it was so funny. Do you guys ever go on stage together? Andy and I? Yeah. Oh, I can't repeat it, but it was so funny. Do you guys ever go on stage together? Andy and I? Yeah. Oh, you do? Yeah. Oh. So, like, Andy will go up first.

Starting point is 01:27:49 Then I'll go up. And then, or, you know, depending on who's headlining. But, like, and then at the end, we both come up and we just shoot the show. Isn't that so fun? It's really fun. It ends up being, like, really funny. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:02 And magical. I think you should do it. I always, like, that's why I was like going before or after you. I do it with my openers too. Yeah, I did that too. Doing it with my openers is fun. Yeah. Because I never have had, I always, I'm lucky enough that like my friends will open for me.

Starting point is 01:28:18 If I'm like, I know that this is, you're above this, but can we do this? Because I just want to have a good time. No, that's fun. I will open for people. That's's fun. I will open for people. That's really fun. I'll open for my friends too. I like it. Oh my God.

Starting point is 01:28:29 Nate Borgatzi was at the Comedy Store last night. It was like so fun to hang out with him because I just haven't seen him in so long. And I was like, I wish I had a clean 20 and could go on the road with you. It's like, he's so clean. Why do you want a clean 20? Because I could, because then I could go on the road with him. He's so clean. He's like squeaky clean.

Starting point is 01:28:44 Yeah. My, I would be, his audience would be horrified by me. I'm like, oh, it would be so fun. I've never in my life wanted to write a clean joke. I don't like doing them. I don't. Yeah. I mean, sometimes they land clean, but it's not.

Starting point is 01:29:01 Yeah. I'm like, I guess that's kind of clean, but theme wise it doesn't. It's not clean. Right. You know what I mean of clean but theme wise it doesn't it's not clean right you know what i mean it's it's like about death or disease or something dark yeah i don't have a lot of thoughts that aren't yeah nasty anytime my anytime my agents have asked me for like a late night set i'm like what are you talking about there needs to be late night sets that are dirty there needs to be a late night show where we can go and just do it all. I get it now.

Starting point is 01:29:27 I get it now with like the SNL thing. I'm like, okay, I get it. I get why it doesn't work because there's people. I mean, first of all, advertisers, but like there's also like people in the Midwest that are watching that are like it bums them out. Like it genuinely bums them out. Rosebud, I think you have an out for your. Yeah. You look great.

Starting point is 01:29:47 Your skin looks really good. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for. You guys look great. Squeezing us in on your LA press trip. Are you kidding me? Press and squeeze.

Starting point is 01:29:58 You can't stop thinking about this delivery. Press and squeeze. Kick and fight. Thank you so much. And I'm so sad we're out of time. I feel like we could talk forever. Please come back. I could talk for another three hours.

Starting point is 01:30:10 I truly, I love you guys. Also, next time, I really want you to bring the snake. I'll bring the snake. I also want to hang out at Tim's house with you. Yeah. Yeah. But people can watch your set on Netflix Verified, which is so funny. And they can follow you on social media.

Starting point is 01:30:24 And then this tour that's coming in May, which will have you and they can follow you on social media and then this tour that's coming in May, which will have you and your husband and your baby. Yeah. Hopefully she doesn't spend a second on stage,

Starting point is 01:30:32 but I don't know which is worse. Like, I don't know if it's worse to take your baby on stage or to let a waiter watch them. Yeah, I just feel like

Starting point is 01:30:39 it's whatever. I think keeping them in the back would be, I don't know, who knows? Whatever happens will happen. Yeah, who cares?

Starting point is 01:30:44 Define and perfect. Yeah. But thank you so much. And thank you to our listeners. Love you guys. And we'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode.

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Snakes, C-Sections, and S*x Parties: Oh My! W Rosebud Baker - Ep 152

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