Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - T Swift vs Philippines and Reptile Room Reveal - Ep 137

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Thank you to our Sponsors:  Betterhelp - Get a break from your thoughts with Betterhelp. Visit betterhelp.com/trashtuesday today to get 10% off your first month. Nutrafol - Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrafol.com and enter promo code: TRASH.  FINALLY! Trash Tuesday Merch!! Get it at https://itstrashtuesday.com/   See Esther on tour. Check out dates at estheronice.com See Annie on tour. Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows     0:00 - Esther’s Thoughts on Annie’s Reptile Fortress  5:09 - Taylor Swift vs The Philippines 9:20 - We’re Hot for Joshua Jackson  11:42 - The Misunderstanding of Scissoring  12:45 - Are Ghosts Sexy?  18:43 - Having a Funny Partner is Everything  30:00 - True Crime & The Retrievals Podcast  39:30 - Gender Norms We Can’t Shake Off  50:48 - Annie Once Tried Khalyla’s Diet & Exercise Routine  58:11 - Girl Code: Side Texting w/ Friends BF  1:07:00 - When Men Realize They Lost You  1:11:00 - Accidentally Sleeping With Your Stalker   Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392   Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  🍬  https://www.candyedits.com Visuals and Graphics by: Andre Strauss https://andre-strauss.info   Produced by: Real Good Touring & Ten42 Podcast Producer(s): Stella Young & Julien Bensimhon   This Video Contains Paid Advertising.    

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offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply statement mobile for details so last night i got a facetime call from none other than miss andrew letterman herself and guess what i got i got a tour of her reptile room it was a long tour it was really long i was up late she was like how wait what are those tanks what are those tanks? What are those tanks? I was like, I know, it's crazy. You got the cribs to her, but the lizard version. It was really confusing. It was exhausting.

She went too fast on certain tanks. So here's the thing. When I pictured your reptile room, I kind of pictured like a dedicated wall, right? And I kind of thought like maybe there was going to be like two or three big things and there would be a bunch in one. No. Each reptile has its own mansion. They have to have their own specific climates. They have to have – Todd likes making the terrariums too.

We have one that's called – we named Chucky because it's evil and it bites chunks out of you. So we have like all like Wiccan things. Wait, what's Chucky? Chucky – what kind is he? What kind of reptile? He's a gecko. Um, I don't remember what type of gecko he is, but he's evil. And there's a little, there's a cute little red gecko.

Yeah. And you got the pugnose? That's the gold crested. Yeah, we got the, the hog nose. Is that your favorite? The hog nose? Snake. She didn't get to see, she only saw the black snake.

I'm a gecko girl. You're a lizard girl. Half of them sleep during the day. Half of them sleep at night. And then Todd was getting mad at her. He's like, don't wake that one up. Like, it's trying to sleep right now. The skank.

He wasn't. He was out. He wanted to see. He came towards me. And again, again, I pictured one wall. But no, Annie's reptile room is confirmed a 360 submersive experience where you are surrounded on all walls. Are you guys going to do like a live feed?

Yeah. Oh, a live feed. So if Esther and I just want to check in, like Big Brother style? I mean, here's the thing. Todd sometimes goes on his Twitch. I don't know why people aren't on it more because you will catch me talking shit on very famous people. I do not know he's on air.

I am like, you are hearing my true feelings about everyone. I'm like, this is literally the hottest Twitch and there'll be no one on it. Slugs, we have the biggest announcement of our lives right now. Pinch yourselves. Pinch yourselves. We ain't dreaming dreaming we are finally here today to tell you you can finally get Trust Tuesday merch

and it's so cute and it's cute we had girls cool awesome designs each of these are available

just click the link below we have look Kalilah and I are modeling them in extra larges that we're wearing as dresses

I'm wearing a small tank top and it's my favorite tank top I've ever owned. I love it so much. It's so cute. I wore it on stage last night. Everybody loved it. We're so excited about our new merch. We're going to be wearing it 24-7 because we can't believe it took us two years to get here. These are so comfy, so cute. Cut them, crop them. And then send us pics. And then go out in the world and meet other slugs and talk about skull fucking you know what to do wear us um not sure if you heard the huge news i got covid it was

really horrible it still is um but actually it's a lot better and I'm really thankful. I had to reschedule my shows, but thankfully they're on the books so soon. So, uh, Boston, I'll be at the Wilbur November 4th and in Washington, DC, my shows are rescheduled to November 5th. And also that week, November 2nd, I will be in San Jose and next week, this Thursday, October 5th, I will be in San Diego. And soon after that, I'll be in Detroit, Chicago. You guys can get tickets at esteronice.com. I can't wait to see you there. And hopefully everyone has a better immune system than I do.

Hey, Soggies. Welcome to our new set. We're so excited. So many fun things coming. I am on the road as always. I'll be in Austin, Texas at the Vulcan, October 6th and 7th. I'm going to be in La Jolla shooting my comedy special, October 13th and 14th. I'll be in San Jose, California at the Improv, November 17th and 18th, and Houston, Texas, December 15th and 16th. I am always adding dates. So go to annieletterman.com slash shows for tickets. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get a break from

your thoughts with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Thank you to our sponsor Nutrafol. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code TRASH. Find out why over 4,000 healthcare professionals recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com promo code TRASH. That's Nutrafol.com promo code TRASH. code trash. That's Nutrafol.com promo code trash. You guys, can I tell you why I'm really proud of my people? Yes. It actually makes my heart swell. So, you know, Taylor Swift has just, both of you went to her heiress tour. She's going all over the world. She's then going to Asia, but she's skipping out on the Philippines.

What? But you know what the Filipinos did? They made their own Taylor Swift. And she is now touring all of the malls. And these shows are full on hype. Can you pull up a video? That is the most inspiring story I've ever heard. And I don't think she's lip syncing anything, but she's actually

very, very talented. So we should bring back and like normalize cover bands. Her name is Taylor Sheesh. Oh, NPR has an article about it. Do you think Taylor, oh, she's gorgeous. Oh my God, that's so funny. Will Taylor Swift kind of be like

the next Elvis where she's going to be like the most impersonated performer? I hope she gets fat. Honestly, I'm not trying to be rude, but.

I didn't mean that way, but. Can we pull up the video of her, of Taylor, she's performing because it's so inspiring. And I mean,

everyone is just like they, they've forced themselves to believe they they are in the era oh i love it i would why did she skip the philippines um i'm not sure but she's going to japan maybe we don't have like a big arena i'm mad i know there. There you go. Oh my God. That's so funny. Now, is she Filipino? Yeah, she is. Yeah.

Wow. It's drag. It's drag. That's so cute. Oh my God. That's so cute. That is so funny. And so she's on to her now.

Because you know there also is a Taylor Swift impersonator on TikTok. Oh, there is? Yeah. so she's on to her now because you know there also is a taylor swift impersonator on tiktok oh there is yeah she's ai no she literally this woman i think her name is like megan or something and all the fans know about her and they'll be like oh that's just megan like she has her exact haircut she looks so much like taylor and she did a stunt recently where she went to the marikana mall and was followed by like fake security guards and people really believed it. And then like a lot of fans got mad at her. But it's like she was just having some fun.

I don't know. I mean, historically, aren't all impersonators supposed to do that? Yeah. Like that's their job. How many followers does she have? This Halloween, I really would love to see some Trash Tuesday impersonators. I would love to see someone pull off this trio. Halloween? Has anyone been here for Halloween? I don't know. Maybe Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Yeah. A lot of people have been Bobby and I for Halloween. They usually carry like a bag of poop or like a fake bag of poop.

Why is that? It was Bobby's staple wardrobe piece. When I went through my sword phase, there were a lot of people that were me for Halloween. Leopard print jacket and a sword and hard glasses. That's a good costume. This is absolute stone cold killer. Taylor Sheesh. I mean, as a mall bitch myself, I do feel like really drawn to the idea of performing in malls. Yeah.

Well, that's how Britney Spears got her start. Like that's how they did it in the day. Do they not do that anymore? I don't see that. People aren't really at malls that much. They're not. Yeah. I mean, maybe they are.

I don't know. That is the like such a grassroots route to stardom is literally performing in malls and just like hoping the teenagers will catch wind and usher was the mall performer they would have like you could meet models from like ym2 at the mall oh that's really smart or something did you guys ever do the thing at limited to where they had like like you like the customers could go in and be a model for a day my friend did it and invited me and i got to like walk down the limited to runway it was the best day of my life it was it was really really important it was two summers ago i remember meeting the entire

the cast of all of the wb shows at that time, which was Dawson's Creek and then Seventh Heaven. Wait, that's huge. In Pasadena. Did you meet Joshua Jackson? I met James Van Der Beek, Jessica Biel. This is huge. I made him sign my little thing. These are the biggest stars of our lifetime. Yeah, agreed.

What did I just watch where Joshua Jackson was in it? It's just, I can't. Oh, was it The Affair? No, The Affair, I mean. That fucked me up. I have not seen it. And then, wait, what was he? He played the husband in, God, what was it?

Wait, is The Affair the show with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Grant? The Affair is that show where they take each episode, it's the Mounds' perspective and how he saw the relationship, and then the next episode is her perspective. Oh, okay, i will watch that yeah it's really good joshua jacks i just can't he's just so good i just feel like there's been a trend in little fires everywhere yeah oh that's right i read the book i haven't seen the the show he's just so hot carrie washington right yeah yeah there's this trend I'm noticing in like high-end drama limited series where like

there's a murder mystery and then the twist is like the kid did it and I'm just like getting a little exhausted by it you don't want it to be the kid anymore yeah it's too easy well how about the movie heavenly creatures that came out when I was in high school it was Kate Winslet and the girl from yellow jackets and they kill one of their parents. They like murder their parents. And as a juvenile delinquent with worse, I was the sweetest girl at the juvenile delinquent school. I had a friend that would make me watch this all the time. I'm like, we can't keep watching this.

We're not going to kill our parents. Like she was like into it, into it. Oh, no. Yeah, she loved it. I was like, this is too much. I had a random thought about you, which is because you know how you're a twin. I was thinking like it's so funny to picture like so your twin brother, Max, like his sperm meets the egg and it becomes him. And he's like, ah, like I got it.

And then you're like, no, no, no. Like then you come in. And he's so much smaller than me. Really? Yes. Like, well, not now, but when we were born, I had obviously gotten all the nutrients. Like I just completely hogged everything. And when he came out, I came out feet first after him. So the theory is I literally kicked him out. Was he feet first? No, he was, I kicked him. He came out the right way. So you did technically then get like a little bit of time alone. Was he feet first? No, he was head. I kicked him. He came out the right way? Mm-hmm. So you did technically then get like a little bit of time alone.

We were scissoring. We were scissoring when we came out. Okay, I do have – Sorry. No, go ahead. Scissoring is not – What we think it is? No, I think it's a lot better than we think it is.

What? Listen, every time I've tried to ask any of my lesbian friends what lesbian sex is, they won't tell me and they're like, I can show you. And I'm like, I don't that's not going to happen. I want to just be told. Now, I recently saw a porn with girls scissoring and I thought it was really hot. And I thought to myself, wow, I've underestimated scissoring my whole life because I'm like, that is so pointless. But now I'm like, wait. Have you done it yet? I've never scissored.

Oh, just curious because you're like out there. I'm getting some me downs. Actually, that's not true. Annie and I did a soft scissoring in Palm Springs. We did a soft scissoring in Palm Springs. Yeah, in front of my mom. Oh, okay. Her mom was our artistic director. She's like, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. I was thinking, I want to just say something back at the mall experiences. I went and saw,

do you guys remember the show Ghostwriter that was on? It was PBS. Did anyone see that? I don't know where I'm asking the question. Did PBS make shows? Yes. I was so obsessed with it. Did you like it? It was like the best show ever. It was about these kids would like walk around with a pen around their neck and they'd have a notebook and this ghost would like help them solve crimes. But it would be like crimes of like sewage getting leaked in the neighborhood. And they were like Brooklyn kids. And Alex was hot as hell. And I met him. I went to the mall. We met all the ghostwriter kids. But me and my brother would like wear pens around our neck. Like we were like Ghostbuster nerds. I went to the mall. We met all the ghostwriter kids but me and my brother would like wear pens around our neck.

Like we were like Ghostbuster nerds. I mean not Ghostbuster ghostwriter nerds. I love that version of you. What? That I was like into a show

and like some. Oh my God we're obsessed with it. It's so wholesome. But it's sad to be journaling like hoping a ghost I mean weren't we all in love with ghosts? Yeah.

Casper. Oh my God. We gotta get Devin Salon. Devin, we still care about you. Wait, who's the other ghost? Oh, Ghost Dad? Ghost Dad. Well.

We weren't in love with him, but I liked it at the time. Remember Ghost Dad? No. Patrick Swayze, another hot ghost. My ghost experience is more just like knowing that my grandparents died in the house that I grew up in. So I was like, okay, the ghosts are here and they are my grandparents and they like me. So I like ghosts and I are like really cool. You didn't like feel like you kind of looked like Casper a little. He didn't feel like a little crush on Casper. Throw a bald wig on this. This is literally Casper.

No, but I remember the pizza hut Casper toys were like the best part of my childhood. You didn't watch Casper, the movie? I saw the movie, but I was not sexually attracted to Casper. No, if that's what you're asking. What? Well, Devin Sawa was the friend. He didn't play actual Casper, right? He was like the boy in Casper.

He was a boy, yeah. No, Casper was not played by an actor. It was Devin Sawa. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wait, did he become the Casper at the end yeah what it's kind of a sad story what happens like he he obviously died yeah but then there's a moment at the end will you look up devon sawa and casper you know how we were all sad at the end of my girl they

should have done like a movie right after where he was a ghost. That we could all like. Wait, what happened in My Girl 2? I don't know. Doesn't he die though at the end of it? Yeah, he does die. Look at that hair he had. Oh my God.

You guys are freaks. Oh my God. Devon Sawa's in the Philippines. Wait. He's in the Philippines. That was in 2009. 19. Teen, I mean. oops. I'm sorry. There's no place for

blonde men in my heart. I mean, my God, that hair. So good. I'm still, I was thinking last night, one of the managers at the comedy store has like, he's growing his hair out. And I was like, I like this hair because I realized why I like the little flip. Like Todd's grown his hair a little bit long. I got like a little flip under ear. And it is because of Jordan Catalano. It will be Jordan Catalano till I die. Jared Leto in my so-called life. Can we get a framed photo of Jordan Catalano behind Annie? Maybe when he's leaning against. Oh, God. Damn. I mean, he looks like me. No, the one. OK, it has to be a picture of Jordan Catalano leaning into the locker. Oh, God. Damn. I mean, he looks like me. I'm sorry. No, the one – okay, it has to be a picture of Jordan Catalano leaning into the locker, right?

Oh, my God. I'm literally kegeling. Like that. That might be it. He's so hot. It was so crazy. It was so wild. You guys are –

Oh, my God. That episode? No. Is that Laura Prepon? No, it's Claire Dan's um oh claire danes duh did you know i didn't make you watch it no my sister watched it i like we like fought for the tv so whenever this show was and you didn't want to see it i watched nickelodeon bro i was not i was rug ratzing it out when my sister i was rub was rug-ratsing it out. I was like, oh, my God.

I couldn't let my parents. I was like, I can't watch this with you. You can't be here. Dude, that is. Oh, my God. Look at me dressed like Kalilah. Wait, can I tell you? So. I have the most traumatic memories growing up of like.

You have to watch this. It's one season. You have to watch it, please. Okay. Just please. I'll watch it. I'll watch it. You never fucking watched it? I'll watch it. You're not my friends. Please. Okay. Just please. I'll watch it. I'll watch it. You never fucking watched it?

I'll watch it. You're not my friends. By the way, guys, these are not my friends. I'll watch it. He looks like me. Now I have to watch it. Oh, my God. I think he looks like me, but.

Wait, okay. Can I tell you? He looks like neither of you trash humans. Traumatic. Nothing compared to him. Traumatic childhood memories, like walking through the room when your parents are watching Sex and the City and hearing those very highly sexual conversations, like just sharing the room with your parents is so horrifying. We watched it. My whole family would get together and watch it.

My ex-boyfriend Andrew would come over. We'd all watch it together. We'd watch Sex and the City. So even worse than that, my aunties, my hornyny aunties they would babysit us and they would watch porn and just tell us to like turn the other way what as a group they would just group watch and then the kids would be like i think they're you know and that was it but they couldn't leave us like unattended so oh my god guys it's backwards but i don't care it's a crazy world it's a really crazy world.

And then Brian Bottinger, who works at the comedy store, his brother married one of the, like, side characters on this. And I mean, getting to meet her at his wedding was... There are no words. This is, like, how I feel about Back to the Future. There are no words. This is like how I feel about Back to the Future. Like, if I was in the same room as a prop from the movie, I would melt.

The hoverboard. Any prop. It's different because this was a sexual awakening. I get it. I get it. I get it. Well, you're not. How do you know that me and Doc Brown weren't vibing? Maybe his mom, Leah Thompson. How is it? How important is it to you

that your partner is funny? It's everything. Is it really? It's the number one. Is it enough just to share the same sensibilities or think the same thing is funny or do they have to be funny? I need to be laughing the entire day or I'm not having a good life. I think because like I know we did and I feel like you did too like growing up in like a funny household where laughter is such a priority. I cannot feel a familial connection with someone if there isn't that fun laughter and in fact like I have dated guys for a brief time that either weren't funny or like I didn't find them funny and I could never put my finger on it at the time because I was like too young and stupid but I was like I remember once I was talking to this other comedian who's like

older and I was like he's like so like how's it going with that guy I was like it's good but like he just says things and they're like he's trying to be silly and they're just so stupid and the guy was like it sounds like he's trying to be silly and they're just so stupid. And the guy was like, it sounds like he's trying to be funny. And I was like, oh, I never thought of that. It's horrific. Because it's not funny. It's not the worst. It's like, just know you're not funny.

I dated a guy. I hooked up with him like four times. Like it was not a long thing at all. And this was when I was a little homeless. So it was like things were getting a little like. What is a little homeless? It was, you know, I was staying on some couches and every once in a while I couldn't stay on a couch and then I was like oh no I'm gonna have to bang for shelter and uh so there were like times I was hanging out

like it wasn't I was I it wasn't because I always wanted to be hanging out with this guy that I was hanging out with him um and he came to one of my shows I did a show at the Virgil. And he was 6'8". Which Virgil? The Virgil. Right here on Santa Monica? I love that place. That's where I go to fuck shit up. Really?

There's been comedy shows there. You used to have comedy shows there all the time. Because there's two rooms, right? Yeah, it's really cute. What a beautiful place. It's such a fun place to go dancing. That bar is really nice. You're such a cool No, it's such a fun place to go dancing. That bar is like really nice. You're such a like cool, normal person.

Can you imagine going to a bar? Oh, dancing at the Virgil makes me a cool, normal person. No, we're not doing a show at. No. And not getting a drink ticket. Like, it's so funny that that's a place where you and I did comedy shows for 10 years and Kalilah like was there partying, having fun.

I love the Virgil. You're so cool. It is. Shows were always fun there. They were always good. Yeah. They had like a little upstairs area we would hang out. Parking I am not a fan of.

Parking was a little rough. Yeah. Parking was a little rough. But all these drunk bitches were just Ubering in so they don't know what they're talking about here. But I, this guy came and he's so tall. Like you see, you notice him. He's not, he's like this big like Garfield he was so annoying and he tried to be funny I remember Kyle Kinane was that word there was at

some point we were all like in a group and he was just humiliating me trying to tell jokes like humiliating me and you couldn't ignore him because he was so big like you couldn't just pretend you didn't hear it it was I just was like I hate you I hate you. I hate you. I mean, I would rather a guy know he's not funny and not chime in and just stay quiet and just nod and observe and just fall back into the darkness. I have so much respect for that. Yeah. I'm okay with that. Um, but if it, if they're trying to be clever around other really fast people, that's an ick. Look, my family is divided by people who are naturally funny and people who are trying very hard to be funny. Who's what? My dad is the king.

Yeah. He's the king of it all. My dad, me, my twin brother, but he doesn't always use it. He waits. It's fun. Max will like wait in the, just in the, on the sidelines of every family vacation. And then he'll just snipe in with the funniest line of the entire. That's the best role. And you're not expecting it because he's just been so quiet.

So then there's that. And then there's my mom and Timmy. My mom is now becoming hilarious. My mom has like, I don't know if it's my mom and Timmy. My mom is now becoming hilarious. My mom has like, I don't know if it's my relationship to her has changed or she's just letting loose now. She's finding herself. My mom is getting so funny. I'm finding the same thing. Like my dad has always been the funny, funny, funny one.

But lately my mom will come in with the kill. Yeah. That's so random. Yeah. And like it's just you would never expect that out of anyone's mouth. I have an important question for you, though, that's coming up, which is like, you literally for 10 years dated arguably like one of the funniest people in the world. Yeah.

What is it like now? Hard. And they, and people, it's hard to probably find a man that doesn't know what your last relationship was. So they probably have a little bit of a chip on their shoulder about the funny part. Yeah. And it's what I'm finding is that like I get into, I date boys and there's always a point where you're like, oh, am I going to take the next step? Like what is missing?

And it's always the funny bit. I will tell you, Kalilah, my parents who are, by the way, their anniversary is coming up, 50-year anniversary. When's their anniversary? Because my parents is- It's, well, it might out our thing, but it's- Oh, mine's is- Cute.

Yeah. Oh, happy anniversary. But only 36 years. 50 years? 50 years together. Are you guys going to do something big? Well, it's funny. My parents want to have for the whole year,

they want to just have, they want to have 50 events about, like see 50 friends, go out to 50 movies, things like that. Wait, is 50, is that diamond or golden? What anniversary is that? You think we would know that? I know, who knows?

We should know this. Our parents are trash. We love them. Wait, but what were you going to say? But they laugh. Like it's that's a it's like they just laugh all day. That's the thing. That's what sustained Bobby and I for as long as, you know, forever.

Like even when we travel, like it sucks because I date people and then I hang out with Bobby and then we're just constantly just being silly and laughing and you're like fuck like this is the missing ingredient maybe and this thing um and I miss it I miss just being so not PG not PC just saying whatever the fuck like being around a wild person like that is really enriching for me. And also you didn't really like hurt Bobby's feeling like, right? Like you could go hard on Bobby and he would be funny. Oh my God. The funniest that's, I think that's when I'm most free. Cause I'm pretty reserved with other people with, with Bobby. I would go so hard and he would like, like, and we would be crying. Yeah. He'd be laughing so

mean to each other. Yeah. So mean. And that's what's so cool because i've dated comics and like funny guys before but their egos were like not right like todd's funny but you cannot hurt todd like you cannot wait i was oh my god i forgot to tell you this i like have been bedridden recently and like i was missing you and i was watching some annie wood that was an episode of you and Todd and I was literally like oh my god Todd is my comedic inspiration because you say the funniest like craziest shit to him and it does not it doesn't he doesn't laugh he doesn't react he doesn't care it's so fucking funny and I was like oh like that's because you know a lot of times people say like when you make fun of me and like they like the way like and I was like oh like that's because you know a lot of times people say like when you make fun of me and like they like the way like and I never understood it until I saw

Todd yeah yeah yeah or the best is when people are like you're too mean to her I'm like guys if you understood the joy she gets out of me getting one on her but the way you are to Todd and it reminds me too when you guys first started dating and my favorite quote of yours you like he would do the slightest thing wrong and you'd be like, you're single. You're single, Todd. You're gone. You're out. We did this one ad on Annie what I can't remember what it was for.

We were like crying. It was like the most fun I've ever had. We were like laughing. I was making fun of him for being weak. I was like that he couldn't put a poster on the wall by himself. And he just thinks it's funny. It's the best. But I wanted to tell you,

so my older brother is arguably the least funny and the most try hard of all in my family. He really wants the attention of being funny. He really, and so when he does bring people to my Philadelphia shows, I know that it's going to be a thing. And if I don't surrender to it, I will be very upset. So I have learned to completely love my brother and let him be himself. And I now bring him on stage to do standup on my show. So he doesn't heckle me. He brings, he always goes, inevitably

he will bring. Wait, he used to heckle you? My whole family. I've had to, yes. Yes. That's really not cool. And honestly, before I was even good at headlining, like when it was like very, a struggle for me, there's still a man who comments on everything I do that went to one show where my mom heckled me and I bombed the entire show because I didn't know what to do he I mean it's like every every time I go to a Philly there's like one guy that comes I'm like don't go to she's terrible I'm like yes it was a little I was going through a rough patch at that moment but it was um yeah I just let him come up and he just and I just cringed behind him oh my god fun and it all, it's on film.

I can show it to you guys at some point. You should. But it was, it was pretty crazy. He always takes his friends out for, he's going, we're going on a pub crawl. I'm like, oh good. That's what I love. A bunch of people that don't go to comedy shows coming to a comedy show wasted. They have no clue. They're just screaming out like heckling. So what's your verdict for me no on um what if he hits all the marks it's not that he's not funny or that he's cringe he just isn't you know maybe we don't share the same i level of i really believe that like with more time and more familiarity with the right person you will get to that fun, silly, crazy place. Like sometimes it does take time. Like you knew you were with Bobby for 10 years, like

relationships get closer and better. And like you get so much more comfortable in yourself, you become a family. And so like, I think that you'll know when it's the right person, even if you're not there yet, I think you you'll you guys will grow together to get there like I have no doubt about that for some reason but don't you find that people who aren't funny are annoyed when you're funny like have you ever dated someone I have a guys are like are you always on I'm like yes I'm always on what being funny and like all the time yes my brain is always coming up with jokes constantly. Yes. Wait, but you look skeptical. Yeah, I just don't know what the, you know, I'm surrounded by you guys, by Bobby, my family,

who's obviously very chaotic and funny. So maybe I can get my fill of funny elsewhere outside of my partner. I don't know. It's hard because I remember when I realized I was into Todd, it was because I was like cry laughing at something he said. I was like, I could not stop laughing. It's a high that cannot be. You just, there has to be a high.

You have to have it. And it's so bonding when you laugh at the same thing together with your inside jokes. Well, what was it? Was it Freaks and Geeks where they, he was like, we watched The Jerk and she didn't laugh at any of the jokes. I didn't see it, but that's. You never saw Freaks and Geeks where they, he was like, we watched The Jerk and she didn't laugh at any of the jokes? I didn't see it, but that's. You never saw Freaks and Geeks?

No. You, I'm going to. Esther. I'm flushing her head down a toilet. You think I bully, I'm going to bully her even more. This is crazy. What's wrong with you? I like Spongebob. Well, now that you're sick, I'm giving you everything. I'm going to make you do stuff. Spongebob, Rugrats, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Kablam. Have you seen, have you seen, does it hold up?

Have we seen it recently? No, but I'm so curious. I would love to see it. I'm so curious because I used to, my mom had to sit in the living room with me while I watched it because I was scared. But I wasn't like too scared, but I needed her there. Do you watch horror now? You just watch real, real murder? I don't really watch real murder or horror, no. thriller like mystery movies a missing girl a missing girl a missing girl

oh yeah i love a missing woman but todd's now and he you know it's all in phases todd's now into real murder so it's like when i try to put in like a a fake murder he's like he can't get on the vibration but i can't do real murder right now yeah i i'm taking a break the i can do crime but no murders like i just listened to this called the retrievals i just listened that too i just told her about it oh my god it's basically a group of women who go to a yale fertility clinic um to get their eggs harvested and all of them like complained that the procedure was like beyond painful the extraction was painful they they were not even like fully sedated they felt the pain one woman is like hey just so you guys know

like as they're about to she's like i feel like i could drive myself home right now like i don't think i'm supposed to be this aware and they just do it anyway and like i'm you i'm you've had this done before but it's like they scrape eggs out of your ovaries yeah but that's not natural i'm sure there's some level of pain like afterwards when you're healing but it shouldn't feel like you're being scooped out um it's happening, right? I think I was under, under. You were under. At the very least, like, twilight sedation. I think now they use, like, propofol.

But should we, like, tell her? Are you going to listen to it? You told me. No, I told her, yeah. Oh, okay. So basically this nurse was replacing the fentanyl with saline and she was taking the fentanyl for herself. And for a long time between like for, and I think that like maybe over like a hundred women basically went sober and got their eggs extracted stone cold sober. And the part that makes it so horrible, there's, it's actually like, there's kind of two avenues, right? There's like the women who they did this procedure and they actually did get their, it worked, right? Like they still got their embryos. They could, they had their baby, they have their family. And so a lot of people are like, well, what's the problem? Like you got,

but they're like, I felt so violated. Like they still are living with this, these like emotional wounds from it. And then there's the other side of it, which is the women who they found that procedure to be so painful that they completely gave up on fertility treatments. Because they didn't want to ever do anything like that again. Yeah. And because women's pain is just generally all the times minimized, right? Like I remember being 19 and getting like my cervix frozen and me specifically telling the gynecologist, like, I feel like I'm going to pass out. And previous to this, they were like, you're not going to feel anything.

And they fucking lied. I wasn't put in any sedation. I stood up. I went pale and I passed out. And they brought me back and they were like, okay, now go home. I was 19. But it's, this is like all of this to say, like, this is a chronic problem. Like our pain is never listened to. It's never respected. It's never relieved. Why are you laughing, bitch? Like it's such a why are you laughing? Cause you're the one that complains about paying the most out of any person

I've ever met in my life. i know that you and i know that you like feel completely like nobody listens to your they don't listen they don't i will tell you i don't care annie when you got your eggs extracted i know that you had like a lot when i went to the house i would i was trying to squeeze the shit out so bad that i had to go to the hospital I was trying to squeeze the shit out so bad that I had to go to the hospital. I really feel for that. I popped a cyst. Right.

You did? Yeah. What did they do for you? Nothing. They gave me more things that made me more constipated. I was in hell. More opiates? Then I had to get a doctor.

Actually, a professional doctor told me that I could get a colonic. Doctors are always like, don't get colonics. He was like, you can get a colonic. Did that help? Yes, yeah. Because you felt super swollen, right? It was the craziest thing when they stuck the thing up my ass. They, it went into a hard turd. It was like, but in the retrievals, the basically it's, um, at the very end of it, they talk about, it's not just this one nurse named Donna who was, you know. Donna, no offense to the Donnas out there, but that is the name of the nurse that would stand for fentanyl. I know.

That's exactly what I thought. I'm so sorry, Donnas. You just are that. Sorry. And I also love the band, the Donnas. But you also seem like I could have done fentanyl with you. But Donna definitely was a fentanyl addict, but she blamed like her divorce and a whole, but other things.

That's the thing is her life. Then you, okay. So then you hear about the nurses who her life, who did this. And I did find a lot of sympathy for her. Like she's clearly going through this horrible divorce, this horrible,

scary ex-husband, like who's bad to the kids. Like it sucks. Like you feel for her. And then even like the judge who sentences her gives her the lightest sentencing sentencing like four weeks but she could go home in the weekend yeah four weekends only the four weekends she has to go to jail so the women they should have given her nine months it's such a fucked up story because you are like I found myself and again I'm not one of the victims

so it's like you're not no it's the first time I've ever heard you say that I know it was hard it was actually really hard I you're like watching it kind of made me feel like it happened to me um but like you feel bad for her like what good is it to like punish her and then her kids are gonna have to go with her? They're like terrible dad. But then it's also these women suffered so tremendously. Like, she should, there should be some justice. You're like, I don't know what. Well, there's something when something goes wrong in a medical procedure and it was on purpose.

It's like, that's where you're really trusting people. But it's not even just her fault. And there's so many licenses and there's so many. Yeah, because, I mean, even when I was in nursing school, you'd have to go through the PIXIS, right? The PIXIS is where you, it's a prison for all of the hardcore drugs or any drugs, really. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so you have to punch in your numbers so they know who takes what at what time. Everything I know is from Nurse Jackie. Yeah. That you're talking about. So, I mean, this huge institution like Yale. They are there was like

that machine was too expensive for them. They were trying to cut costs. It's fucking Yale. I told Dave I was like

Dave your rival because he went to Harvard. I was like fuck them. He didn't really get it. It's so funny you landed a Harvard guy. I know.

There was a doctor who was getting her eggs harvested as well. And she was, she was a surgeon, right? So when they were giving her the fentanyl that wasn't fentanyl, she was like, guys, this is saline. I know it's saline. I thought of you. No, she was an anesthesiologist. She was like, I know this is saline. And they were like, no, that's your drug. She's like, nope, give me another bag. And then they gave it to her. And she's like, I know this is saline. And they were like, no, that's your drug. She's like, nope, give me another bag. And then they gave it to her.

And she's like, that is still saline. Oh, my God. I literally thought of you. Could you tell? Would you be able to know that? I wouldn't. I wouldn't. But she would because she does that every day.

I picture Kalilah in that role when I was listening. Are you like, I want saline. What does saline do? I am so spineless. They just give you like fake IVs just to make you happy. What if we set you up in like a hospital? We just had a fake, like a set of a hospital room. If I ever had like my, you know, my mansion with like my, uh, Barbra Streisand mall in the basement, there'd be a hospital room. I don't even have it in me to tell my eyebrow person. I didn't go to Aruna one time. Aruna is the best.

She's so good. She misses you. I miss Aruna. And I went rogue and I went to someone else. I don't think she can say your name though. She's always like, how is she? I know. That's like how my mom says it.

But I went rogue and I went with someone else and it was a huge mistake. And she was like, how do you like him? I'm like, I love him. I can't tell my massage person when I feel like I'm on a verge of death. I cannot. I can't tell. How's the food? Wonderful. Great. You know, your nails. Love them. Love them. After Esther gave me those pastries, I learned how to speak up. Wait, Esther, you still have to make those. I know I need to redo. I need to somehow. I'm giving you actual homework and I'm going to be mad if you don't do it.

Do you guys know this story? Esther might have switched up the sugar with the salt. It wasn't really that bad. I made Annie some really special fluffy gluten-free cookies during the pandemic. Flaky. And she, I do remember watching you from across the yard. You were like, the chances of me liking what you cooked me were so low. So low. You were, it was like, it just felt like Esther's playing house. We all have to play pretend that we like what her easy way. No, it was good. It just,

it was just fun to make fun just fun. Are there any gender norms that you grew up with that are still so ingrained in you that you want to shake off, but you haven't been able to shake? I wish I could get rid of body hair. It's just, it would be too hard. I just have hairy legs and be fine with it. I'm disgusted by it. When I see it, I feel horrible. I know people are just exercising their right to not partake. When I was in Montreal, I did this show called Surrounded that was, it was for Facebook. It was like a meta thing, but you just do crowd work in a circle of people. And I came out in this girl had hairy legs and my entire, I did just 15 minutes. You lost your mind.

I went nuts. She was cool about it, but it was like, yeah, it's like, that would be so cool if I could just unlearn. That's a really good answer. The amount of time. And money. Yeah, just so much hair stuff always. I think I like wish I didn't have to be so obsessed with like food intake. Because when I look back at those journal diary,

whatever entries from like ages nine through 12, you know, just like the best, they're supposed to be like your fun, best years. I'm literally seeing like weights being written down. Like what I ate that day. Oh, you should have been watching ghostwriter. You would have been like, dear ghostwriter, are there any toxic dumps in my neighborhood? Dot, dot, dot, no answer. Ghost, are you here, Ghostwriter? Like, and I've done so much work on that and I am in such a much, much better place. But I do think there's always that little voice there of like your body, what food you're eating. Like I think that that's ingrained in my DNA. It must be so weird too to be like such a short person and worrying about weight.

Because like whatever weight you thought you were heavy at was like a weight that I would never possibly be. The numbers don't make sense when you're short. I would never have been like – I could never – It's kind of wild that you probably are the size of when I was 10. Weight wise, you mean? And height. No, I was taller than you. Wait, how tall are you?

Because I remember being 12 and being 5'4 and 115. You're 5'1. I'm 5 feet and three quarters of an inch. I get to say I'm 5'1. I knew there was a lie in there. I know it. I get to say it. Like, I think I was, you were my size when I was eight years old.

Shut up. I'm not even kidding. I think you're like my like second grade, third grade. I was very tall. I was the tallest kid in the class, except there was one girl, Ebony, that was taller than me. And she got her period before me. How tall are you guys?

I'm 5'8". You? Right now, 5'6". But you know, neither of you are even that tall. Yeah. It's hard being a tall girl by the way my sister is six feet tall and she's always felt very awkward and um insecure about her i was this height in like fifth grade like i grew i middle school i was this tall that makes so much

sense i don't know why and max was not max is now five eight so he's taller than me, but it took him. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Or 5'9", maybe. I thought he was much taller. My brothers are like, no. My brothers are like normal size guys. I wish I could get rid of this image that I need to be.

I cook, right? And sometimes I don't want to fucking cook. But in a relationship, when I meet someone new, it's ingrained in me that, like, I am less of a woman if I don't cook. That's Asian shit. It is Asian shit. I'm, like, kind of jealous of that in a way. I don't have that at all. I have not that to offer. I've never had that opportunity.

And I feel stressed, like, especially like when you start dating someone new and it's like, now you got to bust up, you know, bust out all the classics again. And I have to show that I can cook and it's in my head. I was just going to say, sorry to cut you off, we're just like having a conversation without you, but will you give us like a homework assignment of like an easy good recipe no will you cook and bring me food you're crazy can we know meal prep for you no she tells me i make it for you oh okay i like that oh okay i like that but don't stick it on me i won't this is fun if it's not good that's her error there's gonna be a's going to be a lube in it, isn't there?

Payback. I did make your chicken thighs several times. I saw that you chopped everything a little too small. Oh. Yeah, it looked a little bit neat. Yeah, I'll be honest. The directions you gave me were really limited. That's right. And I was having to really invent things.

And then I showed it on TikTok and a lot of people had a lot to say about what I did wrong. Like, they're like, where's the seasoning? Also, do you, what's it called? Yeah, you can't be white and fuck up the seasoning. They're waiting for you. They're waiting for you. They're waiting. You almost have to line up the seasoning.

This white girl's not going to season anything. Especially, and you're Jewish. It's like, definitely not. Dude, I have a friend who is straight up like does not salt any of her food i did that for years because i didn't know i literally just didn't know about salt i was like why do why does restaurant food taste so much better than mine oh my god it's all the salt you and jenna i don't know i do kind of have a thing because my dad had hearts he had open heart surgery when I was in my 20s.

And so I did get a thing that salt was bad. So I do tend to just like take the hit. But salt is good. I do tend to take the hit of not having the food taste as good sometimes. Well, I'll never do it again. Now I'm a salt lady. I know how much better it tastes. My dad has like fake salt.

It's almost like salt is the only thing that matters doesn't even you could put on dog shit and if it's salty if i put salt on would you just would you slither up oh my god esther witnessed the snail eggs she's like literally on face time with me she's like todd there's a million eggs it's so disgusting in. In his fish tank, he has these snails. Yeah. And they lay these clumps of eggs that make me fucking sick. I love those. I love egg clumps. But the problem with the egg clump is that I know how many snails are going. If he doesn't get rid of that right now, we're going to have like our house will be filled with snails.

But that sounds fun. Esther, you know what you should do? Bobby and I did this a couple of years ago. Esther, you know what you should do? Bobby and I did this a couple years ago. We find stray puddles, like after a rain, and we find stray puddles of tadpoles that we know are probably going to die in a couple days when the sun, when the water goes away. So we rescue them and we bring them.

We watch them. Oh, thank you. We watch them grow into little frogs and we released them back. Shut up. That is so cool. We did a whole vlog about them. I'm going to watch it. I love frogs.

When I was little, we used to like – by myself, I would do this. I was so excited after a rain because I would go out, dig in the mud, find the worms, put them in a little container, like a little little, like, worm, like, where you keep fish, like, aquarium, terrarium, whatever. I loved worms. And me and my friends would dig up for slugs, too. She had them by her house. And that was, like, the most thrilling, like, I don't know. I felt like I was, like, starting my own family.

Like, I know some kids, like, play with babies and they want to play mommy that way. But for me, it was like worms and slugs and snails. And if I ever had seen a frog, I would have lost my mind. Well, this spring, when the rains come, we'll look for the puddles

that would otherwise dry up. That was cute. You just really turn Native American sometimes. It's like crazy. She just morphs like so fast. She's trying to get us money. When the rains come. Oh my God.

Okay, the chicken thighs. Do you guys feel moved? I have a serious question. Do you sear them and crisp them? You can brown them, yeah. Okay. You didn't put that in the notes. Well, I gave you, my notes were very vague.

Esther's just eating like raw chicken. She's like, wait, I was supposed to cook them? You didn't put that in the notes. Well, I gave you my notes were very vague. Esther's just eating like raw chicken. She's like, wait, I was supposed to cook them? You didn't say to cook. And you also need to stew the vegetables down a little longer. Okay. They look like maybe they're just a little bit hard. Do you have any other chicken thigh recipes? Because ever since I made those, I'm like, I'm a chicken thigh queen.

I'll give you the easiest thing to make. The easiest thing to make that is so packed full of flavors, adobo, which is a Filipino classic. All you need is soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, peppercorn. Or you go to Whole Foods. They have it already seasoned. That's how I do it. Eat adobo. Yeah.

Oh, and bay leaf. It's very easy, very simple. People can add more things if they want, but add its most basic. That is very good to eat. Are you eating it with rice on the side? With rice. I will never. I'm actually having a Hawaii flashback to the breakfast. What breakfast? We had breakfast at that place. Oh, that's right. Where you were looking at what I'm so sick of. I'm actually so mad right now. What's going on? What's coming up for you? I ordered what she ordered. I'm literally like, I'm tearing up.

I'm getting mad. I was betrayed. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Look, get a break from yourself. Get a break from your friends. Get a break from everyone.

Esther was FaceTiming me last night. I go, you know what, Esther? I think it's time to call BetterHelp. You FaceTimed me? Yes, but it was a longer one than I thought. And I saw your lizards. Were they therapeutic?

What actually made me a lot better. So I was like, I'm glad I'm not surrounded by lizards right now. Guys, when BetterHelp isn't available, you can always FaceTime my lizards. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. But can I just say like sometimes I'm trying to fall asleep and the thoughts just like come alive. Like a circus.

Yeah. And it's really hard and I do need a break from my thoughts. And I have found that talking to someone in talk therapy is kind of the only real way to achieve that. And I do love BetterHelp for that reason. I also love BetterHelp because they have a journal feature where you can write down your thoughts in between your appointments and then you can bring that up with your therapist the next time you see him. You know, you get to that point where you're just, you've called all your friends and they know and you get the straight to voicemail and you go, oh. No, and you don't want to be sharing that stuff with your friends anyway. They don't need to hear your- You need unbiased opinion. Because I have it happen to me too. Like my friends will call me nonstop and they call you at weird hours where it's like anxious hours and

you're like, no, no, no. No normal person is just calling you to tell you some good news at this hour. You know what you need to say to them? Get a break from your thoughts with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash trash Tuesday. We've all used it. We all really love it and need it. So thank you, BetterHelp. There is a reason that when you watch this show, almost every single week, we talk about Nutrafol because literally all three of us use it. All three of us have seen results from it. So we are so passionate about how it's actually not a quick fix scam like most hair supplements out there. Like we've all dealt with hair loss, hair thinning, and Nutrafol has been the only option for making my hair healthier, thicker, and better, and just grow more. And it does take

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I go, this is what we're eating. We did a workout. I go, oh, we get to eat this, I guess. This is how Kalilah stays fit. She eats like shit after she does it what was it pancakes it was like biscuits and oh and gravy and what was it it was it was like a loco moco but we had um like biscuits on the side and stuff so I'm like oh my god this is so exciting we can eat all this so I go I just. On a bed of rice. I'm like, this is incredible.

This many carbs, like, and you can look like Kalilah. I get in the moment. I'm eating. I finish it. I'm licking the plate. I look over. She's eaten one fucking bite. Pushed it aside and left.

She's leaving the restaurant. I can't uneat the food. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I ate the protein. I ate the protein. You were? I'm sorry. If we didn't uneat the food. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I ate the protein. I ate the protein. It worked out with me. I'm sorry. If we didn't exercise together, we're now on the exact same caloric diet.

You need to remember. For the rest of the week. She was gone. I literally was like. You need to remember the rule. If we're in Hawaii and a hot guy walks by, Kalilah might go missing. I'm gone. So fast.

That's how she stays fit. There's a lot of hot guys. There really are. No, I couldn't. It was so fucked up. You know what your mistake was? You went biscuits first. You always go protein first.

Kalilah, it has nothing to do with- Your order was wrong. It doesn't have to do with hunger. You didn't ask. You're like, Kalilah, what are you starting with? I- She was gone. And then there's an extra plate left over. I'm not going to just

leave the food there. I couldn't believe it. I remember that breakfast. She didn't say slow down. There was nothing. You know what I learned that day? It's like, even if you're not the target, like, cause you, you know, I was innocent at that meal, but I was still scared. I was still really scared. Well well it was the same trip as when you try to steal my weed I did not try to steal your weed the guy gave me the weed I wasn't even smoking weed at that time she didn't smoke weed that's why I was like give get it the fuck out of your car now it's but you were so scared I like saw you from a car ahead you're like like saw you from a car ahead you're like i was like take it take it you're wearing a puffer jacket she was like incognito and a puffer jacket in hawaii my allergies in hawaii are

they're literally not like that anywhere else i wrote you for your allergies it was fun there is no i don't have allergies got it on the trip. I will say everyone got it on the trip. We all caught strays. Everyone was like, had moments on that trip. There was one unedited moment where I went, I always knew you were a piece of shit. You're a surprise. I never made it on the show. That was my favorite Trash Tuesday line. Wait, that is so funny.

You're a surprise. It's also so funny to look over at me and say I always knew. I knew you. But you. Oh, my God. George is like, how do you cop out, how do you? Was Carlos there? What?

Was Carlos ever here? did we make Carlos up I don't even know Carlos is real he was a figment of our imagination we need another trip like they're so I welcome any

I welcome any of everything that happened leaving ditching you guys in Hawaii is one of the best I knew you were

going to be so jealous I was did we ever talk about when I left Hawaii yes okay because it's the best. I knew you were going to be so jealous. I was. Did we ever talk about when I left Hawaii? Yes. Okay. Because it's the best thing I ever did. Sorry, I just guess I don't feel like I got enough credit for it.

Irish good-byeing a vacation and then thinking Esther was going to be on the plane. I was so convinced you had the same idea. I can't believe I didn't. But you know what? Changing flights is like so complicated that I didn't even think of it. And also it was storming. It's the biggest power move. That was one of the biggest storms that hit.

I still think like. We were like, it's now or never. We were sliding to the airport. Remember when. The guy driving was like, get in quick. Remember when we flew in to Kauai? It took the pilot eight times to land. And we were in the air for another hour. He was like,

I got to try that again, guys. We got to try that again, guys. And the third time I was like, oh, this isn't good. I feel like Vegas or Palm Springs would make sense for us. I was just in Vegas. And there was this billboard that really kind of stumped me. And it was like, you know how they have all of those lawyers, lawyers always have like billboards and stuff. And one of them said like, injured while looking for dead bodies in Lake Mead, call and then the number. And I'm like, that is the strangest thing. There are people, there is a group of people that have been injured looking for dead bodies in Lake Mead? Like, how does that make sense? And who are they getting to sue for that?

Yeah. They must have the same lawyers as the bloodbath girls. Like, is that a hobby that people have is just like tracking? Oh, my sister-in-law's sister is like obsessed with, she's on all these like, they try to solve murders. Like sleuths and stuff? It's crazy. That is kind of a cool habit or a good hobby yeah that's like a helpful positive hobby well like positive though your life goes that you're helping like because a lot

of those cases like they just don't have the resources because nobody cares and they go cold but even that um't Fuck With Cats with Luca Magnata, it was with the help of the internet that he eventually got found, right? That is crazy to think. I couldn't watch it. So sleuthing really is like, you know,

God's work. That was a good one. You can watch it. That was a really good one. Really? Really great. That and Dear Zachary are the best. Dear Zachary is too enraging for me because there was no win at the end. But there were so many losses. Just loss after loss after loss. That was a fucked up one.

Okay, so I have a topic. The fly. Why does it like me? Sorry, guys. Don't be jealous. Okay. So I have like a group of friends and within it, basically there's been this issue that has come up and I want to know what you guys think because I see several sides of it in a way. Basically, I have a friend who she has a boyfriend and they're great. They've been together like five years. They're a great couple. They're solid. We all love this couple. And one of our mutual friends, the girlfriend in this couple has shared with me that one of our mutual friends consistently side texts her boyfriend. Now, none of these texts

are inappropriate. None of them cross a line, you know, to the naked eye, whatever. But she's still like, why are you texting my boyfriend? Like no one else. Yes, we're all friends, but no one else just texts my boyfriend. Like it's just weird. It just like, there's something coming up for her that makes her uncomfortable. And when she told me this, I'm like, I actually completely agree. And if one of my friends was texting my boyfriend, I would just feel so weird, even though I want to say, because I think this is an important factor. I know these people. I really, my honest opinion is that there is nothing shady about it, but I get why it's bothersome. What kind of texts are they though?

I need some examples. It'll just be like, remember this. It's like very random. You know what it is? It's like, why are you seeking male attention from the guy that's my guy? Yeah. Yeah. Also, it's like throw her in the group chat. Yeah. You know, so there's no weirdness because this has happened to my best friend too. Really? My best friend went to Hawaii with me on vacation, but she has a toddler and a husband at home.

she has a toddler and a husband at home. And one of my, our really good friends, texts the husband while we're in Hawaii. And she's like, do you need help with a baby? I can come over and help. And the husband then tells my best friend, she's like, oh, hey, so-and-so texted me asking if I needed help with a baby. And my friend was like, oh, fuck no. Why wouldn't she ask me? Yeah, it's weird. Why wouldn't she add me to that group text? And so even though it wasn't shady, she was like, but she called her out immediately.

She called and she was like, hey, dude, like, that's not appropriate. Like, that's my fucking husband. If you wanted to help, we can talk about it as a group. But, like, throw me in there. And how did that person react um I think that you know she was like oh I just thought that you needed the help you're out of town I was trying to be like nice but my friend was like thank you but also don't like the way you went about it yeah it did yeah it's Yeah. It's weird. Cause it's like,

yes, on paper there's nothing wrong with it, but there is something that deeply for me make would make me uncomfortable. If like one of my friends was just like casually texting or chatting or offering up help, like it was just something weird about it. Like I would just, I would never do that. I don't. And again, even if it was, even if I had something completely innocent to share with Todd, why, why would I do that? I just don't like it. It doesn't feel right. Like maybe I'll say something to you. Like you should show this to Todd. That is max. Yeah. Like even I had a friend who, um, she was always wanting to throw me like surprise, but things like that.

And she would like text Tad and Tad would just immediately be like, this girl's crazy. She was trying to like do weird, like cause he just knows I would never want to be surprised. And it was always like, the part of it that was annoying was she always wanted to do it at like Whitney's house. It's like there was always some sort of surprise party where she'd be meeting my celebrity

friends. She would somehow be at my celebrity friend's house. Well, that's also a thing too where it's like if someone knows that you're going to say no. And then what? How about when I'm trying to think of like we've had weird things with our groups of friends too where we like introduce our friends and then all of a sudden they sidebar and try to hang out. Because some of our friends are pretty successful and then they do like a sidebarring.

Right. Like almost like a theme. Like we were just the intro. Yeah. And then you're like why are you guys on a hike without – Yeah. All of a sudden you're like how did I get out of this equation? They're like trying to like steal your famous friends whatever no but i mean do you hear what i'm like like your

friend knew probably that you would say no i'm not having you throw something right so they go to like todd is like a nice guy yeah so they're like todd but he is not that nice like todd's nice but he's not nice like people fall for yeah quieter But he will tell me everything at all times. Yeah, no. Always. And that's in this couple. Like, the guy tells the girlfriend right away. How do they deal with it?

I don't think they – I think it just makes my friend uncomfortable. But there's nothing – because there's nothing wrong happening. There's like nothing. There should just always be a group chat. I don't know why there wouldn't be a group chat. It's like, why would you not? Exactly. Like what? It's not that hard to throw.

It's and even when I when I'm the opposite, like when I meet when my guy friends get girlfriends, I am so like interested in like developing something with that. You know what I mean? Like I know I try to not be too like yeah sidebarry with the guy because now they're in a relationship it's like different so this same girl that i was talking about who texted my friends like husband um in our friend group when one of our guy friends brings over a new girl she likes to mark the guy in front of the new girl so she'll sit on his lap she'll hug him she'll she basically to show like

hey he was my friend first and look how physically close we are i hate and my my sister and all of us all the other girls are like what the fuck is she doing how rude also like just gross behavior yeah what causes that how are you like i know we're all very different people. Daddy issues. But I don't – maybe like what – what in your right mind would make you do that unless you like have like an evil agenda about it? Like you want to like piss someone off. I just think that's so wrong. And I think there is – look, it's awesome when like your friends become friends with your partner.

Like that's a beautiful, great thing. But there's still to me something sits not right about like a side text, even if it's completely innocent. I still don't like it. You know what it makes me think? Unless it's to plan something for you. It makes me think that, but even with that, like Todd is like, when Todd was trying to figure out how he wanted to propose to me and stuff, he would be like, do you want me to talk to Whitney? Do you want me, he would like ask for, like he never was like doing uh that's the only time it's allowed right if they're planning something for you whether it's a birthday thing or whatever but not to just spontaneously be like remember this that is but I will say that

there's a girl we might even be talking about the same girl who when I was dating a comic and we would go to the comedy store she would so obviously be trying to get this like attention from him in front of me and we would like basically laugh in her face she'd be trying to like throw her pussy around in front like it was just so weird it was really really. Yeah. We're just like, uh, okay. Yeah, I've had that same thing too where like a guy was dating, like the female friend has to like, why are you always touching his arm in front of me? Like why? Why are you always touching his arm in front of his girlfriend?

What's the fucking point of that? I just, I don't know. I have really strict rules about that. Like if I have a male friend who's bringing in a new girl, the way even I talk to him is completely different. It's bro, dude, very standoffish, cold. Also you kind of realize sometimes if you have had a little bit of an inappropriate relationship, you go like, oh. Once there's like a witness and someone that you go like, oh wait, maybe I had been like flirting with this person more than I needed to or whatever or like too comfortable or something yeah I would never want her like I recently met someone like Bobby is dating right and um I was very like this with him and I would rather she

feel like come in feeling like warm and feeling like there's no threat to their relationship. You know what I mean? Like I wouldn't do that to another girl. It must then just be like an insecurity thing, right? It's like are you just so insecure that you just can't help yourself? You just have to touch and show off. This person probably has never been in a relationship with a guy where there's just that like underlying

respect where you tell each other everything and. Oh, man. You know? Because it's like. Really? How do you not know? Yeah. How do you not know that he's like not picky?

You're not picked. You haven't been picked. Yeah. Wait. I have some fan gossip, you guys. You ready for this? Okay. Here we go.

Okay. Here we go. Okay. Okay. Fan gossip. So I'm in my first healthy relationship ever and I'm so happy and love him. And for the first time, I feel like I see us getting married, having kids in the future. My ex of three years and I broke up like October of last year, but we would still text and see each other sometimes. He ghosted me beginning of this year and now is randomly blowing up my phone for over a month now. He is sending stuff like screenshots of me saying that I'd always be there for him and that hearing my voice would give him life. And it just pisses me off that he waits until now to give me all the love I ever wanted. I went through months and months of pain and heartbreak and begging the universe to stop loving him. And I did so much healing and I was so happy

single and in my healing girl era. That's when my current boyfriend came out of nowhere and we both weren't looking for anything, but we fell in love. My ex texting me has really made me feel crazy because why does it make my heart race and why does it bother me? Tale as old as time. Oh, Lord. Anxiously attached. It's more exciting. No, it's just the guys know when you moved on and they just come back and they want to torture you and they don't even like you. And it's not that you're special to them. It's just that they're bored and they want to torture you. And you got addicted to like the excitement of like not being satisfied basically. And once you're in a healthy relationship, it's like,

it almost reads boring because you're so used to this like adrenaline rush and stuff. Rollercoaster of emotions. But that's. I think Esther's right. I think that he does not want you back. He does not like you and you should hang on to that fact. And you don't have to always be there for anyone ever, even if you promised them to. That is crazy. Correct. Also that feeling of like, why does it excite you is so normal because it's something that you never had. And finally it's coming back around and he's offering things that you prayed and prayed for. But I, he's not going to give you those things.

I can assure you that. If he really had changed and became a better person, he would actually just like let you go and set you free and see that you've moved on. Like what you're going through is so relatable. I feel like everyone I know has literally gone through this scenario where they like have the hardest time getting over a guy. They finally move on and the guy just smells it in the air and he comes back. And there's nothing less healthy than a man like screen grabbing something you sent him like forever ago and then out of context

and then trying to force you to like to keep your promise or whatever it's I would block block and I could see how if you feel that like heart racy excitement you think it means like oh my god he's the one but it's just like a slot machine casino game it's not that it's just a dopamine hit yeah in the moment and it's don't start talking shit on slot machines but that's exactly what it is it's a very surface level feeling. And it's just the rush of things. I don't think you should suppress that either. Just, you know, feel the excitement, but don't do anything with that excitement because that's a dead end. He was a dead end before. He's going to be a dead end again. If he since October of last year,

he hasn't done that much changing. It hasn't been that long. There's no way. No, you're on the right path though. Yeah. Stay with this boy. Block, block, block, block, block, block, block. Block for yourself. It's going to feel good. Okay. We have another one. The subject is I accidentally had sex with my stalker. Okay. Where could this go? I matched with this guy on Hinge and his name was under which I assumed was a nickname because nobody is named cut to going out with him and we end up having sex at my place he stayed the night and left the next morning everything was normal I started thinking about how his name couldn't be so I looked up his number on zell smart and his name came up as Andrew I

google Andrew and the Instagram of the guy who's been harassing me in my DMs for three years. The first thing that pops up. I stopped looking at his profile years ago and he never posted pictures of himself when he first started harassing me. But when I went to his profile, he had recently posted a picture of himself and there was my hinge date. His dms have been relentless over the last three years he didn't he he sent me 20 messages at a time and then will unsend to make it look like nothing is there he didn't mention that he knew i was the entire date what do i do do i move call the cops block him and i'm scared for my life and feel so deceived uh what do i do that is crazy so she actually had sex with him oh my god so this guy's

like been obsessed with you uh get a ring camera today honestly though i know this is like sad in its own way but i but also a relief i feel like he got what he wanted and maybe he can move on now. I mean... Like... Or could get worse. But I'm sorry, that is some... That's so violating.

If you are sending a stranger text messages for three fucking years, you are unhinged. Wait, the text and the unsending text, is that happening after they hooked up? No, I think that was happening for the three fucking years. You are unhinged. Wait, the text and the unsending text, is that happening after they hooked up? No, I think that was happening for the last three years. I honestly have to move. Sorry.

That is scary. Yes, they can't know. No. I think Annie's right. You have to move. You have to move. You have to move. This person is unhinged for three years, Esther.

That would be like me going into my DMs right now and looking at all the guys who call me, you gold digging whore, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, for years and years and years. And then finding out like tomorrow that I actually like fucked him. And they know where she lives and stuff. That's really scary. And now they know who I am, where I live, what my dogs look like, what my towels look

like, what my bed looks like. That is scary. Which window is her room? I say move. Move. I would also contact the police would be my first thing and i would explain what what's going on um they're not gonna do shit and the cops aren't gonna i know but sometimes they can have good advice like and they and you do want to keep a record and just keep an eye on it especially if you

have any screenshots of the harassment um and i would confront him or maybe not just block maybe just block that's tricky yeah they always say don't block your stalkers but i'm like i'd want to confront and be like what the fuck but then i'd also be really scared to do that but then if you you do record it just in case you have that conversation with him, but have a like already be moved out to the new place. Here's what I think. This is like a weird opportunity for you to get a new place and start a new life. And it's going to be weird, but you got to move. I would move the hell out of that place. I know, but sometimes like you're not in a financial position to move. It's really scary.

But you can figure it out. You can stay with someone or something until you can figure it out. You have to. It's not like someone... This guy didn't just text her for two days. For three years he did this. Did he do it for three

straight years? Yeah. But... I don't know this is it's definitely scary and so violating and i feel terrible for doing it to you for doing it to klyla this is a horror story for sure and please keep us posted and let us know, like, if you have other questions for us. And also, guys. If we can keep you safe. That's so. Yeah, next time, like, you know, dissect the name a little bit. Like, do I really want to have sex with a guy named ****?

Maybe skip ****. Okay. How do you guys feel about sex schedules and planning sex dates? Not even if you have kids, but just because let's suppose like you both have busy schedules and you're like, okay, we haven't been intimate in X amount of time. Maybe we should go, you know, do this on Thursday at 7 p.m. Sometimes you have to like fuck start it. You got to fuck start it back up sometimes. You really do.

I think you're right. I think it's fine. You just don't want to have it be your whole life. Yeah, like. But every once in a while, you got to like, you guys get busy or whatever. You got to be like, oh shit, we have to bang. I like it in the sense of it's like, okay, I know like this day I'm going to be eating this meal and I'm not going to feel it.

And like so – You're going to be eating this? Or like, okay, I'm going to be working all day. So then I'll be like, oh, okay, like Sunday I only have one thing in the day and like I'm going to have something light or whatever. Like in my head I'll be like, that's a good day for that to happen. Here's the thing. It's like when you're doing a comedy set, right? Like you want to have like an idea yeah what it's gonna be an outline but there's still room to do crowd work you know yeah like you put yeah you plan your

week it's like a meal plan you know you you put pin it in around the meals that it makes sense I I can see how it can be a good thing because now you have your – like, you know, it takes sometimes like a little bit more time for our engines as women to be revved up. But if I have a date in mind where it's like, okay, 7 p.m. on a Thursday, then I can sort of get in the mood well before and I can get my mind right. So that could be advantageous. Like that day I'll put on like a different pair of underwear that I know are going to make me feel a certain type of way. Because you know he's not going to do all that. Put on the underwear?

He's not going to make the effort to actually like seduce you at 8 in the morning to get to the 7 p.m. sex. So it's like sometimes you do have to do that for yourself. Yeah. I think that's like the way is have to do that for yourself yeah i think that i think this is that's like the way is the like loose outline yeah because yeah then you don't like because you could just if you did schedule it would you schedule it in the morning afternoon never morning never anything other than morning's god is spontaneous you can't do morning afternoon

quite honestly like i think that biologically this is where, God, if that's what you believe in, this is where he fucked up. I think morning would make no sense because I can't think of a time I've ever just been that sleepy or that horny. Like, sleepy and horny are not two things I ever feel. So it's like, let me fucking sleep. Get that thing off my ass right now. Like, do not touch me. I need a couple more hours. I've never felt horny like that in the

morning. Have you? Never. No. I just, in the morning, I'm just like, just trying to be happy so hard. I just wake up like. Yeah, it's early afternoon, late afternoon. That's it. Before dinner. I've been in relationships where we morning bang a lot, but that was just a guy that made me fuck him all day anyway. It's like a fucking sex labor years. Yeah. You got bullied into it. Yeah.

I mean, yeah, it was like, I'm going to, I don't want to get yelled at because I'll fuck him. Sometimes it's fun though. In the beginning, in the beginning of a relationship. In the beginning. Sure. I'll do it anytime they want to. It's fun.

But if we're a couple of years in, please don't even breathe in my direction in the morning. I just want to sleep. I definitely have a dessert mentality about it where it's the last thing of the day. After dinner? No way. I'm out. No. Pre-dinner.

Pre-dinner. Pre-dinner. And then you reward yourself with a really good meal. Because you're so hungry. You worked up an appetite. No, she likes to fuck when she's full. Yeah. I don't mind a full stomach. She's got a good excuse to lay there.

No. Don't you just, after dinner, don't you just want to just sit and fart for a couple hours? You can, like, take take your time those aren't mutually exclusive i think we're good yeah oh my god poor todd why i just don't even like try to be sexy anymore i mean i just like so he's just getting farted on most of the day. It's life. You guys, but you guys have a very, very strong special love.

You're the parents to 14 children. So many, so many reptiles. Esther, you want to wrap it up? You guys, thank you so much for another wild ride together. We love you.

We have new merch. Check it out. We're all cute in it, finally. And we will see you next week with a brand new episode. Love you guys.