Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - The Bachelor Nick Viall Eliminates Our Boyfriends

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors:  Allform - Thanks Allform for sponsoring!  Click here allform.com/trashtuesday for 20% off the sofa of your choice!  We chose the Blue 3-Seat Sofa!  Helix - Click here helixsleep.com/trashtuesday for up to $200 off your  Helix Sleep mattress plus two free pillows! Free shipping within the US!  BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday  Athletic Greens - Go to https://athleticgreens.com/tuesday to get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase Tickets to Trash Tuesday Livestream! https://www.momenthouse.com/trashtuesday More Nick Viall  Podcasts: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC071KjEQUoDUe3FvDU6j02Q  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nickviall  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nickviall  New Book (October 2022): Don't Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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you guys to know my surprise it's gonna be so good i'm scared we are so hyper we actually are doing this promo right now when we were supposed to be shooting the live stream right now we have all this energy we have a live livestream energy and Kalilah got COVID. Like what a loser gets COVID. You Who gets COVID anymore? The last of the COVIDs? Is this how she's quitting our show?

Wednesday, April 13th, 6 p.m. Pacific time. Get your tickets at momenthouse.com slash trash Tuesday. I have a surprise. You have no idea what it's gonna be. Do not miss it. Do not miss it. I will tell you something. I have a surprise that you guys are to be. Do not miss it. Do not miss it. I will tell you something. I have a surprise that you guys are going to scream about.

I can't even. I'm so excited. You guys, if you haven't heard about Anchor, it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain. It's free. Shocking that Esther, that's what you were about to say, right? Yes, it's free. Uh-huh.

It's always number one on our list. It's free. Everyone wants to freaking start a podcast. This is the easiest way. We were about to say, right? Yes, it's free. Uh-huh. It's always number one on our list. It's free. Everyone wants to freaking start a podcast. This is the easiest way we're about to tell you. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer. And what? They will distribute your podcast for you.

So it can be heard from Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all of the platforms, basically. Also, you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. It's the best. I mean, imagine that. That's like the lowest, that's low pressure. Everything you need. With Anchor. Everything you need to make a podcast all in one place.

Just download the free Anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Annie and I are stand-up freaking comedians. We are doing, and by the way, I went up after Esther the other day and she was so funny. to get started. are almost sold out. Get your tickets. And then I'm coming to Brooklyn at the Bell House, April 22nd. And then DC, April 24th. Get your tickets. And then in May, I'm coming to Minneapolis, Chicago. Speed it up. I got some dates too. Sorry, I'm high. Esther on ice.com. This was an epic episode, guys. Esther was high. I will be in San Francisco the same week you're wherever you said you're going to be April 15th and 16th. I'll be in Syracuse, New York, April 22nd through 23rd. San Jose, California, May 6th and 7th. Dania

Beach, Florida, May 12th through 14th. Burbank, Flappers Comedy Club, June 18th if she's in town. Maybe I'll get her to come. Austin, Texas, Cap City in August. Tempe, Arizona. I'm going to be at a casino September 30th. You can go to Annie Letterman dot com slash shows to see

all the dates. It's been epic. Go to our website, Esther on Ice dot com, Annie Letterman dot com. Are you high, bitch? How did you know? Oh my god. You know that she just started getting high okay why don't you tell me this why don't you tell me to smoke weed no no it's not like that i took a little bit of an edible earlier today i thought it would because today we usually record in the morning it caught

look at that little smile on this little stoner but i just this is an accident i haven't seen in a while and you have a wonderful just general demeanor but when i when i saw you today you you had just a little bit more energy excitement yeah and i was like oh yeah you weren't just a potato that's the difference you're a hot potato now but that i'm like that now not high like i'm just i think it's like post-covid i'm just like excited out and about meeting people yeah excited to be in the world. We're excited to have you, Esther. Have you ever tried microdosing the mushroom?

No, should I? I'm trying to get her on ketamine. I can't speak to that. But here's the thing. Mushrooms are like send you, because you will like mushrooms and do them because they help you like through stuff. Why aren't you microdosing them all the time then?

I was microdosing. It actually helped me with my cluster headaches. That was one of the only cures. Do you have tattoos? I got like 23 this last year. But did you wait? Oh, because you waited, right?

You wanted to have no tattoos and then you got one and then you went crazy? Well, I always knew that I wanted to do what I did, which was get tattoos for every member of my family that told the story. And so- That talk shit on you? You're like every member of the family that told a story. And so- That talk shit on you? You're like every member that told a family member that told a story about me got a fucking tattoo.

Yeah, no, mine's with love. Yeah, so that everyone tells a story. I said that to this guy at the Apple store yesterday. He had this tattoo and I was like, what's your tattoo? And he goes, it's my aunt passed away. And I was like, oh, like, sorry. You know, but I was like, that's the only shit I would get

would be like family tattoos. So that's interesting you just said that. Well, okay. So I feel like, that's the only shit I would get would be like family tattoos. So that's interesting. You just said that. Well, okay. So I feel like people get mad at us. We don't introduce formally. So Nick Viall is here. And I think the most important thing about you, which your reaction to dare only confirmed it is you're a good Midwestern guy. Like you're a good person. And I have proof. But just so people if they don't know, she says we have proof. We know it have proof. But just so people, if they don't know you. When she says we have proof, we know it's proof. If they don't know you, you were on The Bachelor. I was, yeah. You were on The Bachelorette and The Bachelor.

I was on The Bachelor. I did it all. You were The Bachelor and you have a great podcast where you give amazing dating advice. Thank you. And you might be working on a book. The book's done.

Okay. Yeah. But people know about it. I announced the cover a couple weeks ago. It doesn't come out until October. That's great. I don't know But people know about it. I announced the cover a couple weeks ago. It doesn't come out until October. That's great. I don't know how those things work.

It felt like, like, you want me to announce it now? Yeah. We get anticipation. I guess. Other people announce it like a couple months before it comes out. It doesn't come out until October. Gotcha. Okay.

So it's available for, but yeah. My favorite thing about you. People also search for why men love bitches. Don't text your ex happy birthday. It's the title of the book. Oh, didn't we used to like that book? That was was a fun one esther tell me what you think of the title i think that's really cute don't text your ex do you care what i think or just esther oh yeah i'm sorry no that's okay i'm here but it's fine i'm a fan esther's a fan girl i'm just a regular it's

not flirtatious no him because he was like hey um okay here's my proof that you're a good person because on TikTok, I always see clips from your podcast where you're actually being honest with women about like dating advice that might hurt their feelings. Hurtful, yeah. Yeah, like don't- That makes me a good guy. You're not like gatekeeping and keeping women delusional.

Like we need to hear what like an honest point of view from a guy and i don't know anyone else that's doing that or a helpful lie you know like or just like you know there's he's not good enough for you that's what it is he knows you're too good for him you got to move on yeah i honestly like my book is very much like like my tiktok in terms of like the content. And I wrote it, like, I honestly believe like, I don't feel like I'm the guy who's like talking to women to tell them what to do or how to do things. Like I have a male audience too.

It's mostly predominantly women. But like, I don't think that anything I talk about is like gender specific. It's really just about controlling what you can control regardless of your gender or your sexual orientation i'm glad you're not gender specific with us esther isn't either but like whoever you love or whoever you are it's just like most of like everything i've talked about and that's why and i say that is because uh i talk from someone who like just i learned the hard way in my own life in my

like dating life and like when i was in my 20s and i had a lot of heartbreak and and it was like it wasn't even like it wasn't even on the show but it comes from a place of like i wasted a lot of my own energy uh worrying about things i couldn't worry or like i was kind of a victim of my own ego and thinking you know and kind of chasing people that i shouldn't be chasing or trying to validate myself of things that didn't matter and it's really just a lot about that so i do try to give people like an honest assessment if they ask me a question about their situation but it's not really about like i'm definitely not the guy who's like guys like it when you do x y or z or things like that it's just more

it's just more about being honest with yourself about like your situation and like i did this like recently i don't know if you saw on tiktok the uh doesn't freaking. He's not your boyfriend. That was more specific to like, obviously, you know, women who date men, but most of it is just like, stop. We all lie to ourselves

more than anyone lies to anyone else. And we negotiate with ourselves more than anyone else negotiates with us. And if we can just stop doing that, we make life a little bit easier on ourselves. It's my general, like, you know

like a lot of people who who like or see my advice or like the people who read read the book it's like oh it's like the modern he's just not into you book and i guess to some degree it is but in that book there's very much like this the overall theme is you're not the exception to the rule like you're the rule right oh and I think that's not really helpful advice because we all want to believe that we're the exception to the rule. Like we should. Like I wouldn't be sitting where I am today

if I didn't take risks. Like if I only did things based off of like, well, I guess I'm not the exception to the rule. I'll just be Mr. Ordinary and I won't like take risks that might not work out i wouldn't be sitting here and i just tell people like if you're gonna if you're gonna take risks if you're gonna move in with your partner you're gonna start a podcast or whatever just admit to yourself and acknowledge that you are taking a risk that it's you know if you're gonna chase some guy or some

girl that you're into who's not not like, just acknowledge that, like, there might be some hurdles here. You know, if you're going to try to have a long distance relationship, like don't pretend it's the same as dating someone across the street. If you're going to date someone who's a little older or younger than you don't pretend that there aren't the same. And like, that's what people do. Now, Esther, when you're outside your ex-boyfriend's house across the street, do you consider that living across the street from him? I was in a parked car and it was during, you know how people have like regular,

like they have destination weddings and then they have like a local wedding for like the local friends back at home. It was that wedding. It wasn't his main wedding. And I was outside and- Just standing there with a- No, I was in a parked car.

With a boot box on top of your head? Like, say anything? She had a cell phone instead of a... Carlos was just in Skokie, in my hometown with me, and... Carlos, were you there? Yeah.

Were you her date to the wedding? No, I was there the weekend before. I was not at the wedding. Was she with you? What do you mean? Oh, for a second, I was there the weekend before. I was not at the wedding. Was she with you? What do you mean? Oh, for a second I was like, what, did you go scout? No, but every time I go home, I like to drive past my ex's house. And Carlos was there when I asked my mom if we could.

You really do that? Yeah. Why? Memories. Nostalgia? Esther's a memory girl. Do you, is that that crazy? He says don't even text them happy birthday

that's true i'm with you on that i feel like i have like oh totally by the way listen if who's in your seat usually if you're like let's call our exes like every day i'm like i'm a nostalgic person so i don't mind like if you go back to your hometown and check out a place that used to bring you like memories like i have nothing mind like if you go back to your hometown and check out a place that used to bring you like memories like i have nothing but like happy memories about all my exes who like at times i cried over but like it's been so long we're now aren't you the same can i add can i add a few details though of this person her ex has blocked, her ex has blocked her. Wait, no, dude, official. Her ex has blocked her, has said, I don't like when you drive by.

There's been a direct boundary. So is it still? No, no, no. Okay, so. He hasn't seen her new like high self. Maybe he'll like her now. I have all positive relations with all my exes, except for this one because- That you- The drive-by one,

because he's completely blocked me out of his life. And that is- He's your ex. That's hard for me. But- But it's like- What part of it is hard? Okay, I'll tell you.

So like I have- Try to get to the bottom of this. Oh, I like this, this is fun. Everyone in my life that I've shared lovely times with, I can reach out to them and check up on them and connect with them and remember the good times. And then here's this person who I dated for four years, like three of my high school years.

What's nothing to do with you. Yeah. Well, he knows how little you looked. He's like nervous about the allegations. with you yeah well he knows how little you looked he's like nervous about the allegations and um so it just bothers me that like all i'm just supposed to forget okay but why do you need him for your memory wait what do you mean you're not supposed to forget really you're just supposed to let go and there's definitely a difference oh like you got like this beautiful ring and you're happily engaged

and it's not even with her it's not even wait till the vagina walks in it's not even about this guy it's about him him. It's just your ego of like, you don't think so? I think it's the memories. It's, by the way. What memory? But you have the memories. Can we make a clip of her eyes fluttering when he said her ego? Maybe it is my ego.

Maybe it is my ego. It is. You're totally right. Because it's like, I'm like, why can't we talk? Like, why? I don't know. How many of your exes that haven't blocked you are you talking to on a regular basis on a regular basis i don't talk of any kind i don't talk to any exes on a regular basis no and and when you do talk to them what's what's the occasion running into them at a comedy club running Running into them. Yeah. So like you're not actively reaching out to any of them.

No. Unless Kalilah makes us call her actually. So there's literally actually no difference between all of them and this other one. Only that like. That I can't actually. You can't. And knowing you can is pissing you off. Yes, that's right.

And it's such an old wound that like this wound occurred when I was what like 18. What's the wound? Like being dumped. Right? Yeah. I don't know. I wasn't there. So if it is just.

Oh, you were there. Oh my God. It was him the whole time. I think like it's such a it's like a childhood wound almost to me, like the first like breakup. And so. Oh, that first one sucks. Yeah.

Do you guys? Well, mine is in prison or was in prison. Have you ever been like bullied about like hair loss? Oh, no. Yeah, me and Jada. Oh, my God. Are you okay? Have you been triggered?

I mean, a little bit. Are you? I felt the slap a little bit. You need better help.com slash trash Tuesday. We need better editing skills too, Carlos. But we also need better. No, I'm just kidding. You're being perfect.

We all are going through stuff. Okay. We just watch the Oscars and see a traumatic event. People are triggered all over the place. BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. And you can connect in a safe and private online environment. It is so convenient. And you can start communicating with a therapist in under 48 hours from night right now. When you got an appointment coming up, it's not there yet. You're feeling all these feelings. You want to remember them. You, it's not there yet, you're feeling all these feelings,

you wanna remember them, you write it in the journal. Yes, the journal feature is very valuable for that reason. You don't have to worry about running into an old friend, an old flame, a ex-neighbor you had a fight with in that office because BetterHelp is all online. And it's more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. Carlos, tell your parents, they can get a discount. Oh, sweet. Carlos, tell your parents they can get a discount.

Oh, sweet. Carlos, tell your parents there's one thing they don't need to pay for because you can actually afford better help yourself. Have you been bullied by a friend and colleague about your financial situation? The fact that your parents are supporting you fully? Are you high at work? Are you on drugs at work? Are you someone who constantly interrupts and can't stop talking and always brings it back to themselves? You need BetterHelp, baby. We want you to start living a happier life today. As a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health.

Again, that's BetterHelp. HELP.com slash Trash Tuesday. What is Allform? Allform is Helix slash Birch's sister brand of sofas and chairs that are American-made and easy to assemble. They're modular, so you can customize them to work well in any space. Plus, they're scratch-resistant resistant. And they're really comfortable too. I am so glad that you will finally have somewhere to sit besides on my shoulders. Okay?

Oh, I was thinking I was sitting on your face. Oh, I was having you on my shoulders because you can't get anywhere. I have to lift you up and be all tall. Now more than ever, it's important to make the most of your time at home, sweetheart. And I personally am spending a ton of my time watching TV, reading. Listen, I spend time, I do stuff like I don't read, but I do. I'm on the sofa doing things like I'm reading comments. I'm hanging out with Esther on FaceTime. Well, Annie, the point is, no matter how you're spending your downtime, your

sofa is an integral part of your home. It's true. It actually really is the most important part. I sleep on, I'm a sofa sleeper. Oh, I'm so jealous of that. I have such a romanticized view of sleeping on the couch. You do sleep on your couch. Oh, I did that for three months. But no, way longer. When Todd and I

were looking for couches, and we love senses because of that, all form is so good because you can squish on the couch together yes and they make it easy to find the perfect furniture for your space your way did you know that you can put it together in as little as 15 minutes you guys the most annoying part of a couch is how long it takes to get how long it takes to put together you got to get like 50 strangers in your house during covid it was a nightmare this is like you don't even need tools. You can just put it together yourself. It's so easy. And because Allform ships direct to consumer, they're able to use really premium materials at a reasonable price for you. And it's easy to buy online. Shipping is fast and free.

So you're not waiting around forever for a delivery. They have a 100 day trial. So you get more than three months to make sure that you love it and if you don't they'll pick it up for you and you'll get a full refund i'm on day 23 of my hundred and i love my i love the all form i have a chair it's beautiful it's comfy and todd put it together in 15 minutes you guys we love our all form sofas and chairs and we think that you would too and if you're looking for some new seating check out out Allform. Visit the link below or go to allform.com slash trash Tuesday for 20% off the sofa of your choice. No, but I did call him once. I called him. I did the landmark forum when I was 19. And I was like, you got to call like everyone that you've had any sort of bad blood with,

which is so disgusting. So bad. So weird. So I called. I remembered his number. He still lived in his parents' basement. And I called him. He was probably on his waterbed.

And Tommy Hilfiger shirts. Those were a thing. He hung them like a. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. I lost my Virginia on one. Brag. I know. I don't want to brag but i got seasick what happened to you when you lost virginia but um he uh i called him to be like hey like i feel like i overreacted to our breakup we were just

kids we're like 14 he was 16 i'm like you know i feel bad about that he did fuck my best friend afterwards um i was like i'm so sorry for my part in that. And he was like, oh, I'm actually so glad you called. I always felt so bad because I was never into you. I always really liked your friend Hannah. I was like, oh, we're getting disconnected. What? But it backfired because I wasn't going into it to actually apologize.

There was nothing I wanted to, I wanted to get something from him. And he did not. He did not give me that. But he gave me a good story. Did you freak out? Was that horrible? I thought it was funny, honestly. Because it was like so obvious that I was trying to like.

Well, I was just like seeking some sort of like, you're the one that got away. And he would just said the opposite. He was like, I actually really only liked your friend. I was like, oh, okay. I got my comeuppance pretty fast. Do you have any exes that you're like, you would drive by their house? No.

Okay. But like, Annie? If I went home, like to Wisconsin, and I was in the area, I might be like, I could see myself maybe, I've never done it,

but like if I did it once, it would be like, oh yeah, like, cause it, I have nostalgic memories. It's been so long. And for the exes I do have,

even though like when we were breaking up or times, there were like a lot of like bad memories and moment, like tears, but like, I don't know how you feel, but like I have nothing but happy memories now. Oh, okay.

So this is my problem. Like, don't you like you feel but like i have nothing but happy memories now oh okay so this is like yeah don't you like laugh about like times that like don't you laugh about like how emotionally distraught you were like 10 years ago about things don't like don't you go like wow i was i was really upset then you know and crying and all these things. You don't look back with a sense of like perspective, realizing that maybe you got over it. Like you, no? Well, she has not gotten over it. You're actually blowing my mind

because I can tell you so clearly that I have that for all my other exes. Like even like- Well, do you think this is like a control thing though? Like where it's like, you don't feel like you got like the last say or whatever like he blocked you so then you don't get yes but that's when you need to just give it to yourself and not because he's not going to give it to you right and then maybe he'll unblock you once you don't give a shit anymore i also think like the knife like cut so deep and so hard but also i was so upset when my first comedy boyfriend broke up with me and i look back

at that like laughing like you said like oh my god i was such a freak but i don't have that for the high school one like for some reason there's something like unhealed there well you haven't let go of the fact that he wants he's blocked you uh well sounds like maybe next question you feel out of like yeah you you you don't have you haven't gotten control of that yeah i have no way of contacting him and what would you do if you like are you like what would you say no now when you bring that up i I'm like, I have nothing. I don't want to see him. I don't want to say anything.

I think maybe years ago I did for a while, but I definitely now I'm not. I'm like, let's just. We need to give you some mushrooms and get like a pillow that looks like him. And you just say all those things. Oh, that I could be into. My guess is. Okay. Is that, yeah, it triggered you, whatever.

And at some point your ego told you it said something bad about yourself that he blocked you. And you spent a lot of time trying to figure out what does this say about me that he did this? The thing is I know why he blocked me. And it was because I was really bored in acting class when I was here. And I had just moved to la when i quit school and i was just texting him mean things about his new girlfriend and that was when he blocked sure so i know why you know i know but the fact that he still has you blocked it's like i still feel like you deep down see it as like a it's like a it's like a it's something like it's bad on your

credit score that you want to wait the seven years for it goes away it's no longer on your credit score it's like a ding and i think it's still like bothers you that it's there and that the fact that there's no entry is very annoying i but but you're just talking about you blocking someone else right and how it's like you're blocking them for yourself it's not about them it's like you're just going this is not like i i'm at the point where it's like if someone doesn't like bring me joy and help my life i don't owe them even an explanation it's just like oh yeah move forward with love i block you but you're not going to even know about the love because that's just a vibration i'm sending to you well you shouldn't be saying yeah like blocking is for you not for them and if you're doing it for them you're doing it for the wrong reason yeah if

you're doing it for them you're trying to doing it for the wrong reasons. Yeah, if you're doing it for them, you're trying to control, which he probably is not. He just, his probably girlfriend was like. He was like, yeah, like. Yeah. Now they make me feel good about my life and choices. So I'm going to cut you off. Well, this is actually blowing my mind still,

like, because you're right. I did have some, like a friend breakup recently. And I am not going to text that person because it's like what you said like you're not it's it's negative and so i'm not gonna text them and that makes me see it from his position right in his perspective and i'm like oh yeah don't fucking let me text you like yeah i just learned that lesson too where it's like the more i learned to set my boundaries and sort of cut people out that aren't working for me the more i have grace for the people that did that to me where my ego used to be like so fucking hit by it i'd be like you don't

want to talk to me or i go on a date with a guy i'd be like why the fuck would you not want a second date with me meanwhile i'm like being fucking insane so scary what about me also like blocking too is like you know especially nowadays we talk about dating and like toxic behavior. If you get blocked by someone, you're immediately thinking, am I toxic? Did I do something? Yes. You're very, it's natural to feel defensive about.

And that's why I would be so scared to block people. And I like, I'm very hesitant about it because that's really severe. But it was actually Annie that I learned from. I watched her block someone and so casually block their phone number, and I was like, oh my God. I just was like, I'm done. I gave some chances. I was like, I'm done.

It doesn't work. I just still admire that you did that. Remember that in the future when I block you, bitch. I'm going to race to see who blocks who first we just never oh man if you if you do it the right way it's just setting a boundary okay it's just like yeah it's just like i don't this person reaching out to me or me seeing their instagram and sometimes blocking someone especially on social media is for yourself because we lack the willpower like you can mute someone but that doesn't stop you from going to their page and looking what's going on.

But if you block someone, you can't see their shit either. At least on Instagram. Yeah, no, I know. I think that's a good point. So like if you're like going through a breakup and like you just keep like stalking their page or just block them. And that way it's just like for your mental health, you're no longer checking. Or like you're, you know, so much and also checking or like you're you know so much about getting over someone is like controlling your thoughts also esther if you are like feeling

guilty when you're about to block someone it's because so you're now like assuming that their experience of what's going to happen is going to be like this crazy negative thing but what if that person sees their block from you feels all those feelings gets through that feeling of needing approval from other people and you teach them one of their greatest life lessons it's not really your problem but what if it was but i'm just saying right but you don't even i'm just saying you have no clue like what is going on in their heads it could be something that like leads them to something even better you know well she probably doesn't do it because being blocked has affected her so strongly wait that you're right that's Wait, you're right. That's why when you'd block someone, I was like, that's so crazy.

Do you realize what you're about to do for this next decade for the person? Yeah. They're going to drive by your house. But don't you feel like you learned from that and became stronger because that person blocked you, you thought you were never going to get over it, and then you're doing great.

Yeah, because now I have no way of ever contacting them and it's awesome and that person if it's who I think we're talking about was kind of like not being good to you too it's not like yeah it's someone that was kind of like controlling you and I think your success probably wouldn't have landed on them that well either I don't think it was going to get easier the more successful you got with that one. I got my girls back a little bit, bitch. You're jealous. You're jealous. Wow.

I am definitely overwhelmed to be discovering all this. Nick, are you a therapist as well? No. I was The Bachelor. discovering all this nick you're are you a therapist as well no no he was the bachelor he went through the weirdest dating i definitely don't attribute anything i'm doing what a weird thing wild um although i mean i guess i suppose it like it just it's another it was a crazy experience and to get through that crazy experience I had to be like introspective and look at my own choices. But that was, I learned that skill from having to get over relationships in my twenties.

I have a weird thing to say that my, I don't know if it's, but I watch, cause I watched her. Well, it's weird when, cause people watch our podcast and they know stuff about us and then we don't know anything about them.

And it's weird, but I always relate to your mom. Your mom seems so cool. My mom is great. Yeah. Like you can tell like someone's like gotten a good foundation. Your mom always was really solid. She is.

She's the best. I mean, she had 11 kids. So that alone. That is. That probably gives you like advice too. Because you've seen so many different people's stuff. I guess. I don't know.

I mean, I just, I had, I i had really good parents i had a great childhood did you guys have two minivans we had all sorts of vehicle situations we had like like because we would go to like church at the same time like very rarely yeah we'd have you often take two cars to church there was like a big van situation for a period of time. It was weird. Yeah. That was the weirdest thing about having a large family is like trying to go places.

Yeah, that seems not possible. Or like saving an entire pew at church. You should take the family van by Esther's ex-boyfriend's house. But other than that, it was a relatively normal childhood. Where are you in the birth order? I'm the second oldest. Damn. According to my therapist, Darlene are you in the birth order i'm the second oldest okay damn according to my therapist darlene is important your birth order really yeah apparently that's yeah what do you what do you know about the youngest it's not good huh i don't know if either are good or bad it's just different impacts it it does it does there's some

and i know nothing about this like my my therapist talks a little bit about it, but it's significant, I guess. Once you become 11 too, that's like crazy. Like, so there's like an eight and nine that are like. It just kind of plays a role in your childhood development. I understand it. I don't know how, but it does. Well, middle child is fun.

Like my boyfriend's a middle child. I like middle children because they were kind of ignored. So they learn like self-sufficiency and like how to take care of their girlfriends and do other stuff for them well what are you i'm i'm a twin i have an older brother and a twin brother i'm in the middle but yeah or no wait i'm the youngest i was born after my brother but i was bigger than him so i looked like the middle yeah do you like you like being a twin? I love being a twin. My brother doesn't hang out too much. I haven't talked to him in a while.

Speaking of being blocked. Oh, wow. So close. There's a good chin up. No, I'm really close with his wife and his kids. Oh, that's great. Max is a, you know. He's busy.

He's busy a lot. He's on Twitter, you know. Follow Max Letterman. Celtics guy. Now you and Carlos, our producer, have something in common, which is that you both have controversial body talk. You guys are both skinny men. I saw a post where you had to defend.

Oh, that. Defend being skinny. That was a weird day. What happened? It was during, it was like, it was during the pandemic. And The Bachelor, because of the pandemic, like, they couldn't film. So they did this, like, what can we put out? Like, when the pandemic first started, a lot of, like, even networks and stuff were, like, shoot.

Like, should we just play old reruns of stuff and so they did this um um like best of where they did like your your top seasons so like caitlin's and ben's and mine and jojo's were all picked and this was they were like doing a recap of caitlin's season and i don't know like it was a pandemic so like i was i was working out and whatever i like i felt like i got like i posted that i don't know what i captioned and like a lot of like midwest and i think southern moms were telling me to eat you know like they didn't like you know you you're too skinny. And I've been fortunate enough in my life where, like, I haven't had to deal with a lot of that stuff. I worked out. I've been active.

I've been lucky enough to have a high metabolism. So, like, I'm pretty fortunate where I haven't had to deal with a lot of, like, body dysmorphia and things like that. And I've been complicated. Does that mean that you just, like, you never diet? Is that what you're saying? No, I try to eat healthy but like i was kind of shocked how like it was just a lot of comments it wasn't like like a couple like five or ten being like you should eat more it was just like a lot and to the point where i felt my i felt myself like getting defensive and i felt myself like uh

wanting to respond like kazzy David has this great line in her book that I that I I still remember and and she has this line where any response to the internet is insane regardless of what that response is and and it's true you never win a fight with the internet but when i felt that urge to want to defend myself to want to like respond to every person and and and say things like i ate shake shack this morning or you know and something it's just the fact that i felt like that was this kind of like it was a wild thing so i put like another post and it was just like, I don't know what this, you know, what did I, I don't know what I said, but it was kind of like,

Oh, now you're fat in this one. It was the next day. I was like a different angle and, and a different camera. And I don't know what I said, but I just kind of acknowledge that like it bothered me. Yeah. And words, you know, it was just more like words matter. Just be careful what you say,

because like even the internet got to me and I have no reason to like go to bed worrying about like some person on the internet telling me I look too skinny. Like I know I'm healthy. And even though I know I'm healthy, it's still got to me. And there are people out there who do struggle

with, you know, dieting and eating and exercise. And it's not as easy for them to work out and their metabolisms might not be as like fast moving as mine and like just be careful with what you say i think was my general i guess i feel opposite i feel like everyone should say what they want to say obviously within reason jada i love you gi jane too can't wait to see it all right people are like as, as a comedian, what do you think? I'm like, what? As a human, I think violence is always the loser. You don't get to use violence.

And also, what really drives me crazy is I went to look at Jada Pickett-Smith's Instagram after all this happened. Like three days before the Oscars, she did a whole video about how she loves her bald head. Anyone can make fun of it. She doesn't care. Comments are turned off. So what if Rock had looked at that and gone, oh, OK, so this is OK to be made fun of? Which, by the way, obviously people's feelings get hurt and stuff. But I am a comedian. I do.

I am on the side of you can say whatever you want. Same. Of course, you get consequences. But nobody is allowed to put their hands on you. No. It's so disgusting. It makes me so mad. I love what Jim Carrey said.

He was like, I would sue for $200 million. I was like, same. Like, you can't just hit a person for words in front of everyone and he was doing it in such a playful way it was not like it's not okay and by the way the reason it's okay to be made fun of or the reason we allow the public is like cool with the oscars in my opinion is like we're watching all of these super rich people during a pandemic, incredibly wealthy, incredibly successful, like disproportionate to the rest of the world rich. OK, congratulate each other, give each other like prizes for their time that they spent like doing all this stuff. The only way it makes it equal is if they get made fun of.

If not, it's the most disgusting thing i've ever seen and go jerk off in the mirror it's like you have to be made fun of or there's no reason for this to exist i saw him at the cellar a couple weeks ago and i was blown away by his material i was like where has he been we need him to put out a special because his material was like i just feel like what the world needed to hear and the ticket sales have gone through the roof because everybody wants to support him and see him and he's gonna make so much good that's cool the whole set is gonna be amazing that makes me happy it's like you just can't be violent you just can't be violent yeah I I have always felt like I can say whatever I want

especially in a performance yes and not expect someone to lash out and hit you. I've had someone come on stage and they had a security took forever. I was like, hello. I did it your mom. It was Halloween and this guy was heckling and I went, oh my God, it's so weird that you're here being so loud because I was going to go as your mom for Halloween, but I couldn't fit that many dicks in my mouth. Standard mom joke. Okay.

Basic as they come. Cute. People laugh. The guy stood up. He's like, how dare you talk about my mother? And I went, oh my God, I didn't realize she was such a whore that you thought I would know her. And then he charged them out.

I thought all the security was there. They went there, I was like, security, security, security. But someone grabbed him right as he was about to punch me on stage. But I'm like, punch me, punch me, I'll get a Netflix special. Sleep is really important. Like, I'm not even kidding you.

You need your eight hours. Is that why you're so boring? You try to give me my sleep? I want to make sure she gets all of her sleep. That's why you're so freaking boring. I'm doing you a favor for your health. You little tramp. Okay.

Helix. What is Helix Sleep? Helix Sleep makes premium mattresses and bedding that are customized to fit your needs and conveniently shipped right to your door. They can make them nice and short for Esther. They have. Everybody's different and they know this and that's why they made the sleep quiz, which I took and was very impressed with.

They match your unique body type. Thank you. And sleep preferences to make the perfect mattress for you. They have it so you can lean away from Dave so you're're not killing him with that morning breath they give her a nice little exit strategy um and they have something for everyone's unique taste and if you sleep with a partner you can even take the sleep quiz together and find something that's a perfect compromise for both of us and if you think if you think that todd doesn't take every quiz with me you're mistaken he does everything with me so i personally sleep on my stomach and my side where do you sleep annie i sleep on my back like a grown-up you do yes i had to train myself do

you know how bad it is for you why did you train yourself because it's bad for you to not you're crushing your skeleton as you sleep with your helix sleep mattress you get a 100 night sleep trial along with a 10 year warranty wow that's a long warranty and are you gonna need that i know are you gonna i will period blood in that within 10 months 10 months all right they have the helix twilight which is like the firm feel pressure point relief that's really good for you if you you know have a tense body you like a firm feeling i like i i don't even you know honestly i always have to like i have to switch it up every every time i get one i'll get like a right now i have the dusk because i can't tell whether i want firm or not so i just get the medium but i always end up switching it up sometimes i've soft

sometimes i have large and now as a squirter i go through them a lot listen to me now click on the link below or go to helixsleep.com slash trash tuesday for up to 200 off your helix sleep mattress plus two free pillows oh no i got two free pillows right here go to the link listed in our description if you want to party on a sweet bed like we do and have 200 off of it and you get 200 off helix baby you can spend that 200 on dinner to take her out i love athletic greens they're so i wake up every morning and i have them i'm not kidding you i'm so excited i wake up i have my cup that they sent me. I shake it. I use the individual packages. I have the container too, but the individual packages are always like all over my house

because I just, whenever I remember to take them, I just take them. I shake them up. That's how I break my fast. I've been on my Peloton. I got my little greens there. It makes me feel so good, so energized, so healthy. So what is this stuff? Wait a second. Well, did you know with one delicious scoop of athletic greens, you're absorbing 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day right. This special blend of ingredients supports your gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy recovery focus, and aging all the things. We absolutely love Athletic Greens. And right now, we think it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition, especially heading into cold and flu season, which is literally all the time now. Honestly, you know

how many Kalilah is eating right now? She's like chugging Athletic Greens. Oh, for sure. I FaceTimed her on the way over and she is still drinking Athletic Greens and still working out. She's crazy. It costs you less than $3 a day. You're investing in your health and it's cheaper than a cold brew habit. You know, it's just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That's it. No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health. And to make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune-supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. I have to say that vitamin D dropper, I take it with me everywhere I go. It's my favorite thing that I have.

It's so good. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com slash Tuesday. Again, that is athleticgreens.com slash Tuesday to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. I'm really worried about the internet. The internet's going to ruin the world. What's going on with you? The internet's getting good. It's going to make it better eventually.

What did you see in the dark web that we don't know about? No, but don't – Speaking of the dark web. Wait, do you want to go to – You know, you've ever seen like The Matrix or Terminator? Yeah. And those movies – I actually haven't seen either of those. You haven't? you know how the dark web wait do you want to go to you know you've ever seen like the matrix or terminator yeah and those movies you haven't it's so cute that you lied she loves you that was cute no it's going a little high and i was like i know those words both those movies and there's other movies are basically about like machines taking over the world yeah artificial intelligence like in in both movies it's like different how they do it but it's essentially artificial intelligence is born and it basically advances on its own

and it takes over the world it's taking over and i feel like it's already it's happening well then why is carlos it's just it's just it's just a robot could do it but it's not a robot it's just it's it's our phones and the machine is an algorithm that is brainwashing humans into thinking how it wants to think. Like we're not thinking for ourselves anymore. We're being radicalized by our phones and how much time, like our screen time. Are you talking about Instagram ads? Because I do like the outfits I'm in. No, it's everything.

I'm trying to cover my nipples with my hair. Doesn't it scare you when you go, and I use it as much as anyone. it's just it's everything i'm trying to cover my nipples with my hair doesn't it scare you when you go and i use it as much as anyone like so like don't if you're aware of that don't you feel like okay i can consume the content and i try i'm the opposite i think it's smarter than us let's do it he's not he knows what i'm saying take over i don't know i i that that's my i'm not a conspiracy theorist but that's my that's my fear if i I have a fear, it's that the technology is too advanced for our simple brain. I think that's a difference between being a tall man and a small girl. Man?

How so? Because I'm just more afraid of the things right in front of me. Not being able to grab the cereal. She's in fight or flight at all times. Can't open the jar. Like you, you have to like

get a little more creative about your worries. I like how even the jar is so big when you did the Panama. That was literally me today. I have to get more creative about the things I worry about.

Yeah. Like you have to like I think that's a normal concern. Like you're not crazy or anything. I just feel like when I, I've like thought about it a lot. I'm like, I think that, that that if if humans have created this or if you want to thank god or whatever is

like creating all this they created our ability to create this new technology so isn't this the way maybe we're supposed to be evolving and that i believe in our species will catch up and we'll but maybe i'm wrong or we'll die i hope you're right i'm just worried do you have kit no you don't have kids no i'm sorry i know things about you what i just it's weird to just tell people you know things about them oh well okay so my take on what you just said is i forgot because i'm high what did you say i said that if we were like we were created to have the ability to create this technology okay i believe what both of you are saying like i believe that the internet and like social media and all the technology we're exposed to like

we're not evolved our little like animal bodies and minds are not evolved to handle it and that is my argument to myself as to why i started taking lexapro because I had really bad anxiety and I was like oh like I'm not supposed to like see thousands of comments and and like do a stand-up show for people every five nights a week whatever like I I'm just like we're I'm not ready so I'm gonna like take the man-made medication to help me cope with this does that feel like in alignment with what you were saying? I think what you're saying, yeah. Saying a little? Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

She's a Lexapro. They are paying her to do that. I wish. Five milligrams. That's all I need. Yeah. I, yeah. I think just what's supposed to happen is happening

and we're all going to be fine. You're a everything happens for a reason person? have to be what else i've been fucking molested so much if i don't my childhood is wild i have to be i've got to be that is my coping mechanism no but i do feel like i feel like things have worked out so i do think that if i'm going off the evidence of my own life that they've always worked every time i've been like so upset about something it's shifted and become a good thing in the end i'll say i relate to that too it's like i trust that it's like you're supposed to be where you're you are where you're supposed to be kind of thing i was trying to make a right

answer i was supposed to be born in the same timeline as Skims, like that I know. I just threw out a pair of Skims. Why? It just was worn. I was like, I've worn this to its end. It felt hard. It's a quality product, is it not?

We love it. We love it. Does your girlfriend love Skims? Yeah. Really? What does your girlfriend do? She's a surgical technologist. Ooh, okay okay that's cool uh yeah it's a it's a quality product we love good on the kardashians big fan yeah why do they

have to create something so good you can't you like it's like everybody wants to hate on them and it's like they just keep producing the best shit. I can't. I know. I even remember when I got, I was like, oh, I got my first pair of jeans since I gained weight in the pandemic. And you were like, you know what jeans those are? It was the Khloe Kardashian ones. Oh, yeah.

I can't help it. Accidentally, I just buy Kardashian stuff. Well, they have like, we talk about them the most. So they have the most like organic advertising of any company. They're like the new, they're like as big as Amazon. Are they? I don't know. Not an Amazon.

Not quite as big. Okay, like Nordstrom. No, they're all billionaires. You keep thinking we have like a lot of like answers. You're looking at us like we're gonna have these very specific answers and it's so funny. You're like, right? Don't they make?

Mama, daddy? What's your tattoo say? Oh, funny you should ask ask this one says sleep over now bye because when i was in elementary school me and my childhood best friend would always say come over now bye and then hang up and this one says kalilah which is the name of the woman who usually sits in that chair and hasn't been back since she saw the tattoo and then sunset boulevard is one of my favorite movies. One of the only movies she's ever seen.

I've never even seen that. What is that movie again? What? Sunset Boulevard. Norman Desmond, She Walks Down the Staircase, I'm Ready for My Close-Up, Mr. DeMille. Okay, yeah, yeah. That's sick.

Crazy Old Lady. Your Aspirations? Yes. Are you kidding me? Yes. Oh, okay, yeah. How was the Joe Rogan return to the comedy scene? It was really fun. It was cool.

Was he well-received? He was. Yeah. Well, it was funny because in one room, Tony said that he had Tony Hinchcliffe, who's... Tony was there. You saw Tony? Yeah, it was so fun. It was so fun. Tony's one of my exes.

The boys were back in town, baby. And we're close. He was the one... Oh, no, he wasn't the one we facetimed no that was but he was close a family member oh my god he saw him what was it was really fun was he funny was tony weird he was great they were so fun but they it was it was interesting to see them come back because i think maybe a part of them would have wanted everyone to be like not thriving without them like maybe their egos would have enjoyed that they didn't say that but you know

but they kept being like well is it like this packed usually i'm like yeah i mean but i do believe rogan coming back to the comedy store made it that popular yeah i agree but it is a different vibe now it's really cool but so they were in the main room and then tony said that he went into the or and the comic before him was just trashing rogan and then like but but killing. And then was like, the next comic is Tony H. So to do like that both experience, but it was good. It was fun. It was fun to have them back. Everyone was excited.

Are friends with benefits worth it? Depends on your expectations. I think friends with benefits are totally reasonable, like type of relationship to have for a period of time in your life, but they have an expiration date for sure. Sorry, Esther. We're closed.

It doesn't usually last long. And like it really requires like two mature people to set upfront expectations. And usually, it really requires like two mature people to set upfront expectations. And usually, listen, here's the thing. When you're out there dating and you're trying to like meet someone and dating is hard enough. And what is like, you're trying to meet someone. It's like, I want to, if you try to oversimplify what you're looking for, generally people are like, I want someone who like, I enjoy like talking to, and I have good sex with, like, I want someone who like, I enjoy like talking to and I have good sex with. Like I want a physical connection

and I want them like, I want to hang out. And our friends with benefits, you know, do you just have sex? Usually someone, if you can't stand them, eventually the sex won't be worth it. Right? And if you can stand them, of the one of those two people now you want to fuck your friends no no now i want to have sex with someone who can't stand me

uh date fuck dave tonight fuck your husband right now so empowering like you can't stand me but you still want to have sex no i'm not that's 20s shit i can't imagine during that my 30s like that's what i'm saying eventually eventually like if you if they if you if you are not annoyed by them one of the two people are like well i guess i like you because yeah we have good sex you don't annoy me i've met some of your friends we make each other laugh like what the fuck yeah and then you know and so it just it's a very temporary thing. But sure, why not? I always feel like when I was like out on the prowl and I was like, I always thought like every time I have sex with someone, it's like I either like love them or hate them afterwards.

There's always like a strong emotion. And maybe that was my own bullshit back then. But hopefully I'm never. Love or hate them. Like I just had like a strong feeling afterwards it was never just like we're cool regardless of like and that was like regardless of like their behavior like the ones you hated was there like a reason or were you just like it wouldn't be necessarily them it would be like my like how i made myself feel would just make me like grossed out by them

kind of like oh okay like why did i do that a situation where you maybe hooked up but then you were like did i even really want to why yeah there were so many of them what was i trying to prove what was i yeah yeah but it never i mean i had like a friend with benefits for a while but then i just got so like like i've never had that but i'm now inspired to take what you said about friends with benefits which is you just described it as like someone that you like talking to and that you like having sex with and usually it's it starts because you hook up and then there's a conversation around like hey i'm not really looking through anything serious you're like me too and you're like i guess we like and then you don't really talk about it at first. There's usually like, like a you up text at some point.

And like that second time you have, you hook up, there's this like, hey, like maybe we should keep doing this or some version of that. It's a very temporary thing. That feels like toxic to me. Oh, they most, they often turn in toxic. What they turn into is some sort of like situationship, which is like when one person wants to date and the other person's like.

I thought it was when you date the guy from the Jersey Shore. Did he make that up? Because it wasn't his name like the situation. It might be him. It was them, I think, that made it up. So many of the things that we just say is like a Jersey Shore. Wait, what? I swear to God. I don't think so. No. But I of the things that we just say is like a Jersey Shore. Wait, what? I swear to God.

I don't think so. No. But I would almost believe that. It was the situation, right? It was Mike. But situationship sounds like so general too. Yeah. It's a very, it's like, it's the thing these days.

I feel like it's just a good joke. Oh no, it's the thing. I had a friend that I had gone to my quaker youth retreats with when i was like you know you can't just casually drop that yes but they took me we had this thing called youth quake so we i went to these like these these things they were like all the different you're being serious is that why you're funny because when you grew up you went to something called youth quake I know isn't that wild

well I almost got kicked out so I was like a juvenile delinquent but also in this like church group so they sent us it was all the different like Quaker

youth groups and I'm very ignorant when it comes to the Quaker what Quakerism is because it's not it's not Amish and I'm assuming

a lot of people confused the two yeah I would always be like we churn better on Fridays, was like my Quaker joke. I always had bits, guys. I always had bits. They molested me young. They got me funny. Quick, quick, quick, quick.

Sorry, Nick. It's dark. The bell, the bell. It's really not dark. Esther, from your set to my set last night, they went through a lot. The audience went through a lot. I know. That was the true trifecta. Me you then whitney that was a lot of female comedy for the crowd a lot of just

telling the truth about some things yeah but um i so quakerism is a it's a form of christianity that's like pretty hippie shit it's like very very close to like unitarianism or something but it's so you sit in silence and these they call them facing bunches i know that's why i talk so much but you're gonna love i can't wait to tell you more you're gonna love this okay so you sit in silence they ruined you they tortured you wait or did i torture them just wait so you do have an opportunity to talk if you feel like god so you're supposed to sit in silence and you Speaking to you you raise your hand Well if God speaks through you right and so like so they call them the Quakers because people used to shake in the beginning

When they did it, but it's like then it got like really chill So it was just like Quakers are like you could be gay You can be anything you want like the whole thing was that God's in the form of an inner light that's in everyone and everything So there's goodness in everyone so So they're pacifists. Like you didn't have to go, I know, but then I met you, bitch. I was like, there's evil in her. Satan's in her. No, but so there were Jewish people in Quaker meeting.

It was totally weird. It was like anyone that wants to come, you're in. So you sit like facing each other. And then if you feel moved to speak, you stand up and speak and you can say anything you want. And it wasn't you, it was it was god well that kind of got that can get tricky that got a little bit in the back and it used to be god speaking to you but it was more like if you're just i have something to say by the way it's god speaking god here you look like shit and yellow pants esther better not get your period i'm just a vessel i actually had like my one of my like people that i follow my i don't want to call him a guru because that's not really what it is but one he has a a shaman and he was saying like that the shaman once said another shaman was

channeling through him to tell him that he had a big ego and i was like that's so funny to be like it's actually another guy channeling me to tell you that you are cocky but anyway so what did they do so I would stand up every meeting you know I would stand up every meeting my brother was like my twin was like you said what I would say he was like but you were good I would like I would just get something where I was like I knew I was gonna like get all the attention I was standing up and be like sometimes I just think of the kids in Somalia like I just would catch one thing and just like oh and I just I wish I could share my food with them you know like just like such just like I was like the the OG virtue signaler and I would stand up but I also would stand up and say my brother reminded me that once I stood up and I was like do you ever like like think about how weird it would be if you

weren't you that you're in your body and like you have your teachers and your siblings and your parents and that you could have just been born another person and Max was like people would clap but I was just like this is why I do stand up you know yeah this is your origin story like everyone had to be quiet and then one person could go stand in front of everyone no you just stand up where you are oh and nobody really looks at you everyone stays looking down it's very cool it's like they'll have like a fire in the winter i was in philadelphia and there you'd hear like the fire popping it was really beautiful sometimes i go back when i'm home if i'm there on a sunday i'll go back to quaker meeting but um anyway so they had these Quaker youth groups

and there's also so that's unprogrammed Quakerism then there's program Quakerism that's like they go read from the bible they have a pastor it's like the kids when we went to youth quake all the program kids were like homophobic we were like what the hell we're all like we were like the first non-binary as I would like to say everyone was fucking half shaved head it was like we were the OGs of little of the weirdos um but so we accepted everybody we accepted everyone yeah that was it was about acceptance and then so we went on this youth retreat i was like 14 and i know i love finding out one of my best friends grew up being taught to accept everybody now i feel very not special i I mean, it took a while.

We've had some off times. I had to go back to church a couple times. No, but so we went on this thing. And this girl, Emily, and I were in the same room. It was like a dorm room, I guess we were all staying in this giant, like, you know, 10-story dorm room. We were all staying in these dorm rooms. And they had overheard. We were smoking cigarettes and stuff, but I think they let us smoke cigarettes. I don't know if we had to sneak and smoke cigarettes. But we had told, they called

the adult friendly presences that watched us, FPs. What? I know. That is crazy. They didn't molest us. Those were the ones that didn't. Really? Yeah. Shocking. Friendly presence. Fingering presence. FP. Fingering people.

People to finger. But so they had heard me and this girl, Emily, say we were going to sneak out to go like hang out with these guys. And so they they sat outside our dorm room. So we tied the sheets together and climbed out and scaled the wall in winter and climbed into, and I just got my nipples fierce, do I remember? Annie. And we climbed into this kid's,

this guy I was friends, that I had just met and we like made out or whatever, they played with our boobs. And then we went back and we didn't get caught and we weren't kicked out and it was really fun. But years later, I reconnected with that guy whose room I climbed into. Just randomly, he just like hit me.

I was like crazy. If we're about to find out that he died like a plane crash or something. That happens sometimes on here when we talk about a guy hooked up with me, looking up and he's dead. And then he died. Yeah, we have to mourn him in the moment.

I'm Final Destination. They're like, you should have died from this bitch. She doesn't know what Final Destination is, but she- I do know it, but I need to rewatch it. I saw the first one and I was like, this is not for me. Oh my God, I love it. It's like my favorite. Well, you know someone's gonna die, but shoot. I do know it, but I need to rewatch it. I saw the first one and I was like, this is not for me. Oh my God, I love it.

It's like my favorite. Well, you know someone's going to die, but you don't know how. They always tease you like there'll be marbles like about to fall on their head or something and then it's always like a different.

Do I have to look at it? No. Okay. No. Carlos, you can't advertise that you don't eat on our show. When we just talked about how we don't have eating disorder.

You don't eat because... I just... He's busy. He's smoking weed. Wait, are you spornosexual? What is that? Look it up. Look it up, bitch.

Bitch? Are we in a workplace? And like guys with shirts come... A man concerned with personal appearance who places more emphasis on having a fit-toned viral body than on grooming. A hundred percent. No grooming.

Oh my God. I'm spornosexual. We don't want you to groom though. A man concerned with personal appearance but who places no emphasis on having a fit-toned viral body. It's like skinny. I think it's just about being skinny or something. You've never heard of this Nick. I feel like you know

Okay, why would I know about this? You're like a guy in the media? So are you Same guy coined the term metrosexual. Okay, we're just the same guy. So this is like second This is just his like second, not his big hit. I hate this guy. Yeah, I know. So no, you don't get to coin. Well, growing up in the Midwest back in the day, I was, everyone called me a metrosexual.

And I took offense to it. Because it was like, why do we need a name for someone who just like likes stripes? Yeah. Or like washes their armpits. You know, because like I didn't want to like, I guess I cared about, I liked fashion to a certain degree. Now I wonder if it's gross women like me that like that term

because I actually would prefer a man that doesn't wash his body. I would rather a big slob. Well, we know why. Why? Because it makes you not as obviously smelly next to them. Yes, thank you. Thank you, sir. It's less pressure.

It does take the pressure off. It is true, though, right? It's like, you know, you don't want someone... I dated a guy once who was like, I have the best smell. I was like, goodbye. I'm like, what? No. He's like, I have a super smell.

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. We're done. Dude, it's like when I first... What the pressure? When Dave and I... Oh, like he could smell. Yeah, he's like, I have the best smell. I'm like, goodbye.

Oh, not like I smell the best. No, he was like, I can smell really... Like he's like, I could smell like he's like i could smell anything i get you and you're just like you know what i don't want to smell yes i get that that would be i was like i also don't like when a guy eats less than me i've gotten over this though now but sorry carlos you're out when me and dave first started dating he he went to get a subway brag um and he came back and i had ordered a footlong and he came back and he only got himself a six inch and i was like i felt like i had been slapped in the face like i was so betrayed i would actually love to slap you in the face with a sandwich can we do that on the live that's so sad is that society who does that to it that

does that that's a good that's a good healthy person's reaction um that it is weird yeah i think it's like as a girl i think i don't think you're the only one i don't think it's girly can i tell you i don't think it's girly why i think it's codependent i have the same thing i'm like i thought we were doing the same thing if we're both i do this with kalilah too i'm like if we're gonna like i thought we're both gonna eat the same amount are we gonna eat a lot or a little oh it could i didn't get that impression from her though. Yeah, I know what you're saying, but I feel like for me it was more you're the guy and I'm supposed to be your small girlfriend and I'm eating double. But now I eat double than what he does.

I don't care. I'm more confident now. He does carry his weight differently than you. What are you calling him? I'm not saying he's... I'm saying you are much skinnier than Dave. You're so fucked. What are you calling? I'm not saying he's, I'm saying you are much skinnier than Dave. What are you saying? We Dave,

listen, you're very handsome. I love you. You're a wonderful man. When you compliment me, I remember it forever. One time and we were on a hill and I said a thing about an elephant and you laughed. And I'll never forget it.

No, you're right.'m i weigh less than him does cooking make you a pick me girl does it i like to cook i'm the i'm the cooker in our household we okay i think that girls who are always posting about i've made this meal look at my pasta i think that's pick me girl vibes because they're like really maybe i'm again just insecure and jealous and a hater but i feel like this is people being like i don't content yeah my friend does her whole like i know how to cook muffins i guess i'll do that my friends a forager my best friend from college is a forager tara lennon glibri the medicine circle follower but her whole career is like making beautifully colored foods from her husband has a garden and they like so she gets all the ingredients fresh from there and

forages them from like the woods and stuff and puts them all together i get that there's people like that and that's not what i'm just saying but you're saying i'm such a good catch look i can cook i can clean i can do all this stuff hey just for me i view that as pick me vibes you know i'm not gonna be if i was single i wouldn't be going out there like, look at my fresh pasta I made. Like nobody expected that. Maybe the fresh pasta I ate. It's an interesting question. I thought I was thinking the other day, too, though.

But like I came out of your body. If it was the shit, maybe look at the pasta I made. Annie, no. That's her uncomfortable bell. Like, I do most of the cooking between Natalie and I. I love that. I'm going to make a good little housewife someday.

I love that. I like to iron, too. That's what my boyfriend is. Yes. Helpful boys, that's all we want. And I've never thought of myself as a typical guy. And I don't know if that, I'm not saying that's good or bad.

I'm saying it's not. But I would find it to be weird metrosexual uh I just couldn't like it'd be uncomfortable for me to like do guys like do you have you noticed dating like knowing guys and dating guys that they there are guys who are looking for women to like make them food on the regular i have seen it on like make them a sandwich or like okay we just i i need to participate like i i couldn't imagine just sitting there and being like i guess serve me dinner like it'd be like once in a while like now they want to do something nice but like we it's not either of our jobs like the idea that a guy would be looking for a girl to like i need someone to cook like you know and so you're saying because like you're saying is cooking a pick me girl vibe it there would need to be men and maybe

there are i'm asking who are actually looking for like oh muffins I think it's less though. I think it's like less. I mean, I guess. I've never been that guy. There's a guy on. Because I've always, I guess like to cook and active service is my love language. Like I like to do things.

That's how I show love. What's yours? Getting gifts? Fuck you. Not watching TV, sitting in a room, staring at a ceiling. Watching the news.

I like them all. when I'm receiving. Receiving is my love language. No, but I was thinking that. How do you like to show love? Oh, what are the choices? Act of service. Words of affirmation. Words of affirmation, quality time, touch.

I like touch, quality time, and words of affirmation. it's so cute from you their little hands to touch so precious their little nails oh but you made me think of this as a tangent but i think it's worth going down but i am still slightly high you'll let me know there was this like famous serial killer no no not a serial killer this guy who killed his his wife and i think he killed his sons yes it's actually very tragic it's not funny but he had all these journals saved love he recorded all this audio of himself before he killed everybody and including himself and one of the things he said that was so creepy was he was like oh when i first met her and I saw the way she cleaned the bathroom, I knew she was the one. So it's like guys are looking for that.

And no judgment, not all of them will kill their wives. Not all of them. Anyone who asks their girlfriend to make them a sandwich, not guaranteed to be a murderer. It's not always, but that's a good starting point that they could.

It is a controlling thing, I guess, because you're right. There's no autonomy in that. If it's like, I have to do this and then you have to do this. I mean, 50 years ago, that was a good starting point that they could. It is like a controlling thing, I guess, because you're right. It's like there's no autonomy in that. If it's like, I have to do this and then you have to do this. I mean, you know,

50 years ago, that was a thing, you know, when it was more traditional. I'm just now realizing that no one will ever be able to give me the acts of service that I need.

Satiate your desire to be taken care of. As good as one person, that is my mom. Because she is fully a service mom. So make make it official let's call her a basketball when carlos came to my house i was like so just so you know when my when we're at with my mom like she handles everything do you should write a joke about that like but because she handles everything like she it's a control thing for her mom. Like I couldn't throw away a water. Like I couldn't throw away anything.

Like Esther was like, leave it on the counter. She'll throw it away in a special trash can where she wants it. No, because I understand that too because I feel like sometimes, I don't want to generalize, but my boyfriend's Asian and his mom is like so, like she loves to like Where are we going? Should I be in this room?

She's a terrible driver, but no, but she he's writing down edit out no he's like make it the clip are you kidding me nick we're trying to go viral nick viral is what we call you um but and we call kalilah nick viral load because she does have covid um but she is asian but she is asian but but it is like in her culture and her it's like a joy for her to like serve you and cook for you and stuff like that it seems like your mother like that's her thing that's her thing yeah i have a question for you have you blocked a lot of people's phone numbers like is it so easy and casual for you or is it a big deal it gets easier now because i just know it's for me like now that i know it's for me and it's not like in a manipulative way you don't

feel this like sense of like fear that like what if they need to call me or there's nothing they could need to call me even my my ex-boyfriend that i see at the comedy store all the time he when he approaches i see him and i go like i'm always like I give him nothing because there's nothing he can bring my life anymore we're done he we had a we had a tumultuous relationship some of it was bad some of it was beautiful I thank him for the good parts and the lessons I learned from the bad parts but I there is I do not operate on the same vibrational level as him anymore I have nothing to say to him he comes up I am-hmm the finality of that is so It's blowing my mind like I want I it just why is it such a big deal to me like you should block that ex back

Lock him Honestly, maybe yeah, just lock him for your own energy It's your choice interesting She when I book comes out. Can you read it and tell me what you think? Absolutely. Yeah. And please come back and give, we need him and Kalilah in the same room.

I'm a little nervous about it. I think it's good. How about the book? Well, I'm not a writer at all. Who cares? And you wrote it yourself. Yeah.

Good. Well, cause I do the, I do the questions with Nick on my Instagram. And then I went to a publisher and I was like, I don't really want to write a book because I'm not a writer. But I have, I do this series every Sunday,

this Q&A, and I have thousands of them. And like, I think they can make like a fun coffee table book. Like, let's just like repackage them. You guys make it look nice. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, great. And then they gave me a book deal and then we're like but no we want you to write a book and i was like okay but like this is on you because i don't

know where commas go and and so i was like i don't know if i was like i don't think i can do this and this is like two years ago but i slowly slowly i'm glad you didn't ask me to read it because i i'm not able to read so i'm so glad that you said that. Nobody do not let the advertisers know. I wrote it in like sections and then it was like putting a puzzle together and like I just wrote thoughts, right? I just had an idea of a thing I wanted to talk about.

That's how you do it. Yeah, I guess it turns out. How the fuck would you know? How the fuck would you know? Who the fuck? But that's what I've been told. And then they put, and then we- How the fuck would you know? How the fuck would you know? Who the fuck? But that's what I've been told. And then I put it together, like obviously the editor and like helped, you know,

we had it and then we kind of- Put the grammar in. Put the, they put the commas in the right spot for sure. And then I read it and I felt like it's pretty good. Because like, actually it meant a lot when you said you liked my TikTok, because sometimes I'm worried that like, it's like, once I'll go on the street and people are like,

oh, I love your podcast or I love your TikTok. And I'm like, really? Because like sometimes I'm self-conscious about like, being the guy who's just like, well, this fucking guy again telling me what to do. Like, who am I to say it? But those are your people. That type of thing

and how awesome is it that even though you're self-conscious about that you still fucking are true to yourself and you put it out there my whole thing these last few months is like i don't care what anybody thinks of me i don't care what i post like if that's what i want we see we noticed and we did notice about two months ago. No, that is the way to go. Not giving a fuck. But when I get in my head, it's just like, would I like me if I wasn't me? You ever wonder about that?

But like, no, I don't. That's none of your business either though, right? Well, thankfully, as you know, my mom really loves me. And she gave me incredible confidence. And I owe a lot of my success to my mom because i'm like i have this perfect combination of like self-doubt but like i don't know i think i can do it i i don't call me crazy it was kind of like right in the book it's like maybe i can my mom believes in me the fact that you finished the book it's getting published i promise you it's good like that's like

i i've had a few people uh read it and i i think it's pretty decent, but I'm... No, and I genuinely mean that. Like, I see your TikToks pop up on my feed and I always watch them and I always feel like I learned something. And you give good advice. And I'm like, I think I'm a good advice giver. So I feel qualified to say that. Like, it's really good. I don't know.

Well, you can read it and tell me what you think you can read it too actually Nick she can my ego has managed this episode okay we get it you guys love each other you can read but Nick thank you for being here

no you guys are great thank you for having me everybody thank you for listening and please subscribe to this channel or I'll get more spankings and I don't want them actually there is a post I will be making

last night you spanked me so hard it felt good congrats listen Esther I know what you need if you think I don't know what you need I was like spank her

I was like her ass is Chris Rock oh my god I have footage of it I'll post it. Please do. I'll send it to the podcast.

We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Thanks, guys. Get the book. It's not out yet. Get the book in October.