Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - The Fine Line Between Cool & Cringe w/ Sophie Buddle

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Thank you to our sponsor(s) SAY IT WITH US!! **SKIMSSSS** (Whisper Voice) https://www.skims.com/trashtuesday  Shop the SKIMS T-Shirt Shop at SKIMS.com. Now available in sizes XXS - 4X.  If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE TRASH TUESDAY: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons LEARN MORE ABOUT EBB OCEAN CLUB: https://ebboceanclub.com/ FOLLOW US!  https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday/ FOLLOW US AGAIN! https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday More Sophie!!! Website! https://www.sophiebuddlecomedy.com/ Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/sophbuds/?hl=en 00:00 - Pretending to Like Things For Your Crush 01:32 - Sophie’s Here!!!  05:00 - Esther and Ace’s Views on Drugs 10:00 - Relationships w/ Moms 13:00 - Ozempic & Sharing 19:00 - Being Cool, Desperate and Cringey 35:00 - Not Having Hobbies 40:00 - Importance of Being Alone 44:00 - Banana Break & Ozempic Talk 53:00 - Mom Talk and Boy Moms Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079    More Khalyla Instagram:   / khalamityk   Twitter:   / khalamityk   More Esther Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Credits: Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen: https://www.candyedits.com Exec. Producer & Showrunner:  Stella Young | Tiny Legends Prod.https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod/ Shot and Edited By: Guy Robinson and Sean Wanless and Arielle Moreno  Edited By: Andrew Tarr (Audio) & Guy Robinson (Video)   This Video Contains Paid Advertising

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offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. In high school, I had a big crush on my friend's big brother she had told me that he was obsessed

with the transformers movie like the megan fox child buff one so i did not watch the movie that wasn't my strategy i found a shirt that had a transformers thing on it and the only time him and I really saw each other was when I had gym class he had maybe some maybe gym as well but we would see each other outside and so I wore this Transformers shirt for gym every every day and then I stopped wearing it at some point because I found out this other guy that I also sort of had a crush on started calling me Transformer Girl. And I'm like, I haven't even seen the movie.

I'm trying, I'm working on something else right now. And then now I'm getting lumped into this whole other thing. And so, yeah, I didn't hook up with either of them. It was a bit of a flop of a project. Kalilah. Yes at skims.com now available in sizes extra extra small to 4x and if you haven't yet be sure to let them know we sent you after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Skim. Skim.

Are you targeting this question at Sophie because of, you know? I'm targeting this question at our producer, Stella. You like what you see? Do you want a cup? I would be intimidated. Like, I think I actually could. Go ahead. What were you saying about Stella?

How would you approach? How would you approach Esther? Well, I know Esther's approach already. Do you? Yeah. You offer yours up first. OK, we don't have to bring that. I'm a mom now. it doesn't have to come

up every week that we record the show i mean i don't know i don't know the history it's just let's just move on what about stella let's make this about stella today but now i'm left out what's the history of your boobs i just showed her my boobs and was like oh will you show me yours and i think she said no I did say no that's because I hated my implants at that time okay so you had your implants then it was insecurity related it wasn't because of you thank you Wow that was really maternal of you to point that out thank you oh my gosh I had I do have heaving motherly breath so Stella and I had a titty moment where she was like wow your boobs and I was like

here touch them touch them yeah and she didn't know where to place her hands the thing is I understand that because I'm not shy I'm not a shy person I'm a comedian I have lots of like really sexy dirty jokes but I do feel like if a cool you know cool hottie was like no touch them i would be so i would blush what if it was someone not cool then i'd be like sure do a little potato pancake because i feel like that's very like bathroom like bar bathroom girl bar bathroom i was thinking like high school change room after gym yeah esther no really can't relate what do you mean of course i can relate i i i just you know i'm so different now that this conversation i guess yeah i can't relate anymore you're christian now yeah i know i am like

religious now he's up to the lord of course, we have to introduce our guest because she is the funniest stand-up comedian working right now. I discovered you. You did. But when I did discover you at the improv, I feel like you came out of nowhere. And I was like, who is this girl? She's so funny. And then I found out you had just moved from Canada, I think. Yes.

And can we say your job? Yeah. She's the monologue writer on After Midnight which is like the funniest show where we're fans I was on it you weren't there yet but next time and um she's a hilarious stand-up Sophie Buttle thank you Canadian person thank you you're so funny I didn't realize that you discovered me. Yeah, no, now you know. I'm excited. Now you know. It's actually so cool. That's really hard, right, to figure out your paperwork and immigration status. Yeah, do you know some Canadians? It's really, it's quite, it's like so expensive. I have to renew my visa right now. And it's just like such a, it's just, you know that it's coming, but it's still just a surprise huge amount of money.

Really? Oh my God, so expensive. It was like 15 grand originally. You had to pay that to come here? Yes, and it was 15 grand US. So that's like closer to 20 grand Canadian, which is like so unfair. And then now just to renew it, it's going to be more than five grand to go again.

For how often? The amount of nose jobs I could have gotten if I was born in America. I can't. This is what being immigrant is like. I can't believe they charge you for that, to come here. I know. What a ripoff.

It is a ripoff. Thank you. You have to have a big show of money is why. Like, my niece, my family's from the Philippines, and to even. I have a Filipina aunt and cousins. Oh, you do? And two cousins. Are they your favorite?

Yeah. I'm always trying to impress them because they're teens, my Filipino teen cousins. And I'm always like offering to buy them drugs and stuff. And they're Gen Z, so they don't want that. And there's only so many times you can offer before you're like pushing it on them. What kind of drugs are you offering? Whatever they want. And they don't want any.

No, the Gen Z kids are really, really honest. They're really straight edge yeah oh i love as a mother i love to hear that so wholesome like the candy shops your baby's not doing drugs either no she's sober she's extremely sober that's because she's in the program yeah um so you offer them drugs but they're saying no so like what i hate being not useful to a gen z kid i know i know it's just like so hard to figure out how to be cool to them because when we were teenagers like if somebody offered me drugs i'd be like oh this is the coolest adult ever i got into some trouble but what drugs were you doing i would do any drug in high school are you serious

i was doing comedy though and so comedians do drugs and then you do it as drug in high school. Are you serious? I was doing comedy, though. And so comedians do drugs and then you do it as well. In high school? Yeah. Oh, that's right. Because you started going to comedy clubs really young with your mom, right? Yeah. So like alcohol became like a part of your life probably really early on. I was really a heavy party girl when I was a teenager.

And then now I just kind of socially, I don't really do anything now. I'll do mushrooms like once a year with my girls. I feel like mushrooms is in its own lane and I disagree now why tell me I don't know I've just decided that I'm like fully going completely sober and your daughter yeah can I tell you a fun fact I heard about Chinese postpartum yes they have this new study where they give moms ketamine very soon after they give birth and apparently they're seeing extremely positive results um to prevent postpartum i i don't know i just we've seen ketamine being used it's it you're right once once a drug like i hear about it recreationally i start to like i don't know so for you it's very important the first time you hear about it it has

to be from a doctor so it's like yeah i'll take oxycontin have you have you done drugs before i had like a two-year stint on marijuana and then i got pregnant and then i had to quit and then now i'm like i went through the nine-month detox and I came out on the other side and I'm like, I'm good. Interesting. Yeah. So you did two years of pot, which led to your pregnancy. Yeah. So you spiraled out of control.

You're having unprotected sex. It does sound like you drugs don't suit you well. Yeah, exactly. You have to be more careful. Thank you for the advice. wait but okay so you started stand-up when you were a teen with your mom are you and you and your mom are very close yes we're very close yeah are you close with your mom i i guess i am yeah are you close with your mom yeah but her and i have a similar. So we both have almond moms. Wouldn't you agree? Yeah.

Almond slash vacuum moms. Almond vacuum moms. A little bit emotionally rigid. Yeah. And. They're a product of their time. Right. Yeah.

It's how they show love in ways like we can't. It's hard for me to understand or receive. But we are really super close. But there is a toxicity there for sure well yeah when they're when they're doing stuff that to them is showing you love and then you're not receiving it it's their i think it's their role as a parent to like find a way to make you feel loved in your love language or whatever you want to call it they would never understand what a love language was like i've told her time and time again and she's just like. What does she

do or what does she do as a job? She was a hospice nurse. So she put people down. Oh so a hard worker. Yeah. She said bye bye. She doesn't lift them up. She puts them down back to the earth. Was she really good at like bedtime? Like

she's giving her IV to like tranquilize her. No but she was really like a sought-after hospice nurse to the stars. Really? Yeah. I mean, I could name some names, but I think that's HIPAA. I didn't know this. Yeah, but it was taking a toll. No, no.

I'll tell you why she quit hospice nursing. She didn't like driving in the dark through the hills into expensive people's homes and so she was like i can't do it i have anxiety when i drive but yeah that's that's the reason she quit but she like killed famous people famous people yeah wow michael jackson um close adjacent oh my god what yeah to find out i mean if he hadn't been killed by his own doctor she would definitely would have killed him. Oh, that is so cool. And so, okay, mom and mom, to me, I assume like eating disorder vibes or no?

Over-exercising vibes for me. Over-exercising. And like over, like, how do you say when someone, helicopter mom, like watching what you eat, making sure you have a certain physique at all times. And so what is your relationship with food now? Really terrible. Terrible, yeah. Yo-yo. Up and down, up and down I go.

Did you ever do a Zempik? I've never. I probably, actually, no, I shouldn't say I'll never do it. But I haven't yet. Have you? Okay, I acquired some in Canada. And so with all my medication, I have ADHD meds too. And it's so much cheaper in Canada.

So I kind of have been just going back to Canada every like 90 days and just getting my cheap meds and then like coming back. And I timed everything wrong. And so I ran out of my ADHD meds and ran out of my Ozempic. And so I was off of both of them for a stretch of time. And then I'm going back to Vancouver next weekend to get all my stuff. And so next time you see me, I'm going to be focused and skinny. Wait, how much Ozempic have you done?

Like how long did you do? I only did one full pen of it, which was like maybe a month and a half, maybe two months. And what did it do to you? It just makes you not think about food ever and not hungry. It made me like a little bit nauseous,

but not more than just any anybody like I drink a lot of coffee on an empty stomach so it's like kind of feels like that I love that you repost like literally three times a week the same meme on your Instagram stories three coffees no lunch and it's like a horse running it's so funny three coffees no lunch I'll never not repost I am worried with this with this CBS job I can't post as many chaotic things as usual. I support that. We'll see. Wait for those.

Is it like a weekly shot? Once a week. You know, the gym bros I heard have been hip to a Zempik or a Terzapatide. Hip to it? Now you sound like a mom. They're hip to it out there. These young gym bros turn the chair around let's wrap let's wrap about a zumfac but apparently they microdose it every day rather than like dose

it out like once a week and that's what that's what they've been using to look like really shredded and stuff i'm so sick of microdose culture like we of control. Okay, so you don't want us to do drugs. You don't want us to do a little bit of drugs. What do you want? Because drugs are happening. No drugs is not the answer. Okay, I want to know, like, for, okay, the Ozempic, do you eat at all on it? Or can you not eat?

Or you just... You do eat. But for me, I just felt like I wasn't thinking about food at all and I wasn't hungry. And when I would start eating, I would feel full kind of right away. And so you don't have like the urge. Like, you know, when you're like in a period when you have no sex drive and you just like don't yearn for sex. It's like that for hunger. You just don't yearn for sex it's like that for hunger you just don't yearn for it right i heard it like

turns off food noise which is like for which i have a ton of food noise where it's like what am i gonna eat next how much yeah what am i gonna eat what am i gonna have should i order something i should over order because i don't know which thing i'm gonna like and then you eat all of it yes such a good feeling wow that makes you feel good just hearing you say that um yeah food stuff is hard and food stuff is obviously hard for like women in our industry and i you know we get comments online and stuff and we have you know our moms made comments about our bodies but i do think like both of you are very small. Like, I think you're both, like, petite. And so is that... Thank you.

Yeah. So are you. You're gorgeous. Thank you. Just three petite girls. Wait, are you an only child? Yeah. Could you tell right away?

No, I think I knew... You can be honest if you could tell right away. I swear I couldn't. I am... By the way, I am... I have an older half-sister by seven years, so I have all the bad qualities of an only child and a younger sibling. Nice.

I'm selfish and annoying. I lie. I'm an ally. Wait, do you feel like you have only child qualities? And what is your opinion of being an only child? I know everybody thinks it's weird and thinks that we're not good at sharing. And I would say that I had to learn to share, but I can share. Prove it.

But you had to learn. I did have to learn to share. Well, it's like, it's also like, it was mostly just me and my mom. And my mom's like super, super sweet, super, super introverted. And so it was just kind of like, we're both living like together,

but parallel lives my whole life, where she was kind of in her own head doing her, she's like a painter. So she would go do her paintings. And then where she was kind of in her own head doing her she's like a painter so she would go do her paintings and then I would just kind of walk around on my own and so if I wanted something I would just take it if there was food out I knew that I could just have it and you know if she had a shirt I liked I could just wear it like there was never a situation where I had to share growing up and I think that that's something that you do learn in your formative years yeah and so I have the same thing you know what I you know what I still have

that I'm trying to shake it's like I love getting credit for something that I did and so like if I buy my boyfriend a shirt and someone is like oh that's a cool shirt I'm so I find myself I can't even stop myself I'm like I got that for him I picked it out I found it but why is that bad that's I I told I can relate to that I want all the credit for everything good that's going on in his life. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But I don't know. I feel like that's the only child quality, but maybe not. Are you only child to know? I have a sister who I'm really, really close with. But then I've come I've met siblings who are people with siblings who don't know how to share because they were in a house where like, they always had to fight for things. So they didn't like what was theirs was theirs,

or you always had to ask permission because they were, they had to fight for things that they wanted in their home. I've heard from friends that like grew up with a lot of siblings that like, they just expect, like if they, if like, brought food home and put it in their fridge, they would just expect that someone else would take it. Whereas I'm like, if something is mine, like, it's there for me. But they're like, no, everything gets taken. This is something I had to learn in my 20s and I got yelled at because I thought the same thing. If something's in the fridge and there are leftovers, this must be communal food. Oh.

Turns out I'm wrong because that's how my sister and I always were. And that's how my family is. It's like you and your mom. I feel like the boob grab thing and you having like a sister makes sense. Because it just feels like cool girl community. Community tits. Like the community tits. Yeah, it feels like the island that Wonder Woman lived on.

And they were all, I'm sure, squeezing each other's boobs together and eating each other's leftovers. And it wasn't a big deal. I forgot about that island. I never saw that movie. What? My boyfriend's really into superhero stuff. And so I, like, pretty actively try not to learn anything about it. But then how did you know about the island?

I'm embarrassed that I knew it. Can we cut that out? Can we cut out that I knew something about Wonder Woman? Are you into superheroes? No, but I mean, who didn't? Like, what girl didn't cry at Wonder Woman? Am I alone here? I didn't see it or cry at it.

That was pretty special, yeah. Okay. I was definitely moved. Okay, thank you. I liked that island with, was it Robin Wright Penn? Yes, she's so pretty. Can we pull her up? She's the prettiest woman ever um have you guys been seeing this trend on tiktok that's like girl it's i'm so impressed with the younger girlies because they they'll be like basically

they share something embarrassing that they posted to impress their crush. Oh, my God. I love this. I remember when I lost my mind. Yeah. Yeah. So good. They'll be like, oh, I heard he likes cooking.

And so then there's like a video of them like, I love to cook. And they just look so chaotic. So I think my first monologue I wrote for the show was about this trend. Really? Did you know that? Yeah. I did not. I love it. I think

it's so funny because we all did such like having a crush is so humiliating. Like you're so not yourself and you're trying to kind of you see them post one thing and then you're like, make it your whole personality. It's so psychotic. And nobody's going to pick you for that, too. Like it's always something else that and that level of desperation when you're young you'll never feel again as an adult like even that level of in loveness when you have a crush on a boy like it being an adult it's like you can like a guy but it's never going to feel that intense are you avoidant attachment style um i swing apparently you're a swinger i'm a swinger wow i think you swing too right i think i do what are you right now i think right now I'm secure.

You're sober secure. Yeah, sober secure. I used to be anxious avoidant. High. Oh, is there highs and lows? No, like high on drugs when you were high, when you were a drug user. Wait, what's your attachment style? I think I'm avoidant slash secure.

I've been with my boyfriend for a long time, and I think that it's when you've been together for a really long time, you kind of have to be secure. You hit that secure stage, whether you want to or not. And I think it's more of like, I really just don't give up. But I would love to talk about desperation because Stella and I were talking about desperation stuff before. And I feel like anybody that lives in L.A. or New York has to be you have to be have kind of a desperate ambition to some degree to move here yes but then you can't get any job if anybody smells a whiff of desperation on you that's right that's right thirst is such a turnoff it's such a turnoff in every degree like like doing shows like if somebody's at a show and you can tell they're really trying to network like

another comic it's just gross like you don't want to be friends with them right but then obviously everybody had this strong push to move here and so everybody has that and then it's just like who can be cool yeah i feel like you just have to kind of toe that line of like wanting it secretly but strategizing so that you don't come off like you have nothing else going on like that is you do you know what I mean yeah I'm just thinking about how like the whole concept of being cool is so embarrassing because it's like to be cool you sort of have to know that you're doing something like you like to look good you have to put strategy in but like that's also inherently embarrassing i don't know the whole thing is freaking me out right now yeah even like

wanting to look cool but not looking like you've tried too hard that's its own psychosis too yeah psychosis it really is it's like it's like the no makeup makeup look right it's like i want to be disheveled but you put that much effort into um you know the the like bobby say for instance his thing is like like poverty porn right he wants to look poor but he's not oh yeah rich people always want to look poor yeah because. Because that's cooler than being rich. Right, and they make fun of people with the branded stuff, right? But still it's like... Oh, the logos. Yeah, they're like nouveau rich people.

But it's like, I don't know what's more embarrassing, the fact that you're trying to cosplay poverty or you trying to cosplay richness. This is my problem. I think anything inauthentic is uncool and so if you're trying to seem rich if you're trying to seem poor if you're trying to seem cool if you're trying to seem nonchalant if it's not true that's what's off-putting that's very stand-up comedian of you like it's got to be we need authentic we need authenticity it's so true but

that's why i'm always like standing behind people that have like bad takes and stuff, because I'm like, that's I can tell that is what they think. I love that. Yes. Wait, are there things that you guys have done, whether it's posted or not, like for a crush that's so embarrassing? Like, personally, I'm sure I've told you this before, Kalilah, but like I, when I was in high school, like found out my crush

liked Lord of the Rings and I bought all the DVDs I bought all the books like I just wanted to have them in my house so that I could like feel that I was into them but I was not at all you're holding them and you're like come on come on did he notice?

no of course not but I did is he their baby daddy no but he we did date and i i did for us a part time of the relationship in high school pretend that that was a genuine interest and so did it work like did pretending to like lord of the rings was that your ticket was that you're in i think it's safe to say that it wasn't. But I think it was, you know, the full strategy. There is a strategy. I mean, I have definitely done some sneaky adjacent things like that. Like when I first started dating Bobby like a long time ago in my 20s, I knew that he had very he loved obscure music references or he would be impressed by certain bands if like no one knew

about it so I it was never on my playlist but I found what I knew was like an obscure band from somewhere in probably Toronto or something like that and I'm like what you've never heard of them and I would play it from I'd never heard of them either up until the day prior and just doing things like that because I just knew that he would be impressed by it somehow I mean it's so we identify like the worst qualities in our crush and we're like me too that's the thing that we have in common yeah because it's like being smug about finding underground music it's like I'm sure that's not what you liked about him. No, he's definitely very smug about that. In fact, he would do things, too, that I eventually learned was so fake.

Like he would pretend he would fake Twitch. He would do these things and talk to himself because he wanted to seem like an eccentric artist. And I later found out that he's faking epilepsy. Yeah, kind of. Like, you know, like the overblinking and the talking to himself. Okay, but then you're like into him, but then you're like, I did fall for it. You fell for it.

And so that's why they do it. Like somebody at one point thought it was hot. And then they're like, okay, I'm going to do this forever. And then somebody else thinks it's hot. And then that's now they have a reason why they're acting crazy. Right. I'm like, he's so different. He's twitching.

He's not like the other guys. He is epilepsy. I know. That's crazy. It is crazy. And so you're like fake twitching too. You're like me too. It's so crazy that both of us have that.

I had one in high school. I had a big crush on my friend's big brother. I feel like friend's older brother is like, there's no poison like it. That's so real. And so she told me, she didn't know I had a crush. I'm sure she knew I had a crush on him, but we didn't like talk about it. But she had told me that he was obsessed with the Transformers movie. Like the Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf one.

This is dark. That's a Nick. Of course it's a Nick. Present day. Yeah. And so I did not watch the movie. That wasn't my strategy. I found a shirt that had a Transformers thing on it.

And the only time him and I really saw each other was when I had gym class he had maybe some maybe gym as well but we would see each other outside and so I wore this Transformers shirt for gym every every day I never washed it it smells so bad and then I stopped wearing it at some point because I found out this other guy that I also sort of had a crush on started calling me transformer girl and I'm like I haven't even seen the movie I'm trying I'm working on something else right now and then now I'm getting lumped into this whole other thing and so yeah I didn't hook up with either of them it was a bit of a flop of a project unfortunately I haven't thought about that in a long time. You didn't take it to the finish line?

What was the most painful rejection you ever went through when you were a teenager? I mean, not to get it all into it, but I was absolutely dating like adult comedians when I was a teenager. What? And so that's not really in the spirit of a fun girl episode. But you know, tell us. No, no. I mean, it makes sense because you were in the comedy club so young and people probably thought. Yeah. So there were definitely situations where I was like, oh, we're soulmates. And then they were just kind of creeps. And so that always ends up, you know, coming crashing down on you. So that always ends up, you know, coming crashing down on you.

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month. When you purchase a three month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you.

As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month. And all plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and

text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three month unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. Statement mobile for details. Esther, I have a confession to make.

Yeah. So you once told me that you and Dave share a Skims t-shirt. We do. And I got to say, you guys, this is a relationship builder to share a Skims t-shirt. My boyfriend loves all of my Skims t-shirts. Wait, really? The boyfriend collection? The boyfriend collection.

Okay, so the boyfriend collection definitely got me through pregnancy. Now that I'm postpartum, I'm wearing my new favorite collection, which is the Soft Smoothing Seamless. And these are the best shirts. the fabric is so soft and buttery that's how I feel about all things skims it's number one for me in my life is comfort and I feel like I don't have to give up the comfort to feel sexy soft smoothing seamless t-shirt and long sleeve t-shirt those are what I've been wearing postpartum where it's like, okay, it kind of is form fitting, but it doesn't, it doesn't feel tight somehow. And I've been wearing that like, you know, Dave and I had our first date night postpartum. I threw on my soft smoothing seamless short sleeve black t-shirt and it was the perfect thing to sort of like show off my body, but also be comfortable. Right. Shop the Skims t-shirt shop at Skims.com. Now available in sizes XXS to 4X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you.

After you place your order, this is really important, you guys. Select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Tell them that we sent you. You know what to do. Please, please tell them that we sent you you know what to do please tell them that we sent you when we're young we kind of just don't see how terrible it is like the age gap because i was convinced you i would i say i'm 15 16 i was dating guys like who were mid-20s sometimes 30 and in my head i had convinced myself that i was mature and that i wasn't like my

friends they tell you you're mature too and then now you know that it's like a a tactic to be like oh i see you more adult than other people see you you're not like your friends exactly yeah but we were exactly like our friends but actually we were like our friends i know spoiler alert did you ever date an adult as as a teenage girl i did not date an adult as a teenager no i yeah surprisingly no how could that be how could you be here on this couch we both did so how did it's actually pretty common without that yeah happening it is weird you know it's actually pretty common. Without that happening. It is weird. You know, it's so funny.

My niece, I found out, was dating someone much older when her senior year of high school. And I thought that because I had experience with it, that I would be able to convince her like, hey, this is a bad idea. And I could not. And I tried my best to be like like this is something you'll regret that guy is absolutely not like he's not finding any girl who's interested in him like in within his own peer group he can't even get a girl that's why he's shooting for a high schooler yeah um but i i thought i would be this like motherly savior and she just continued to see him i mean what ended up happening on her own she got majorly like it she woke up and she was like oh wait this is so not okay that's good though and i i think that you can you can be confident that

you did chip away at it like i think that they do have to come to it on their own and the more people that can say something and make a kind of uncool big deal about it, the better like it does add up. You think so? I think so. I do think you're also right. Because when I was dating someone that was not so great for me, I had a friend that was just like, laying down the facts, like, here's what and I remember sitting there being like, yeah, but I in my mind, I was like, yeah yeah but I don't care and then afterwards I was like whoa she was right yeah and then she was brave for for making this awkward moment in your friendship because she saw something that you weren't seeing or weren't like ready to look at and so the danger

of it obviously is that is it's like you can jeopardize your relationship with your like younger cousin yeah she's my niece because yeah your niece or your friend or something it's like it can create a short-term rift but you know this person like at some point you know they're smart they'll probably figure it out on their own whatever the thing is that they need to accept it they'll probably come to on their own and then I think it'll strengthen your relationship after that because they'll be like oh this person was looking out for me and also didn't judge me for doing it they just wanted to help me go in the right direction yeah that's so real wait I want to go back to faking interests for guys yeah because I've thought about this a lot and I almost want the guys like to comment or answer

like I always wonder do they want a girl who's interested in what they're interested in or would they rather have the girl that's like into their girly own stuff i don't know and this makes me really insecure why i because i the guy that i'm currently with him and i share a lot of things like we like we're we both dive we love the ocean and he swears it's something that with that guy's he's no longer in the picture the twitcher is gone um but there's he says that it's something that like he like fell in love with me he's like oh my god i didn't know i could meet someone like you who shares these. So that's great. Yeah. But then I could foresee down the road him not liking that we have the same like interest that maybe there should be like a separation.

Why do you foresee that? Only because it's like in the beginning when when, you know, your loins are, you know, hot blooded and you want to just like, you're like, wow, like he gets me, she gets me. But you know, at some point I do think that the opposite, when someone is the opposite of you and they have their own thing going and there is that separation, like it builds more. I don't know. I can't really explain. I think it is like, you don't want to be codependent, obviously, like you don't want to do absolutely

everything together. You know, but but I think that liking a lot of the same stuff, it can only be good if it's real. And it's like it is real for you guys, where it's like Lord of the Rings Transformers. Fake. Not real. Fake. And so I think if it's real, then it has to be good because it's like the reason you like

these things is because you like swimming or you like, you know, like it's those are activities that you'll be excited to do together. Right. I don't think that there's a way for that to turn out bad. I think like being codependent is bad when you can't do anything apart and you're too tied to each other's feelings. So like if one person is feeling upset, you have to do like like I think that you have to be separate people and have enough stuff separately that that's not your only because i've definitely been in codependent relationships where it's like this person is just the center of your world right and then if they're upset you're upset and you you know it's all that's not a healthy way to be yeah but having the same interest is good i think so what do you think Esther I think that I know why you feel that way and I'm like my own projection of it is that when you are dating someone who's

an entertainer you don't want to be two entertainers and like maybe that's like a from you know dating Bobby like you you were not the star in that relationship and like you could not be and if you were that would have been really harmful to the dynamic but like you guys both dive like no offense to diving but it's like I think that's like there's no competition exactly and it's already a disrespect to diving as a creative art form and no disrespect to myself but he is the star in their relationship do you like that do you? Do you not want to be the star? No, I love when someone is, like, superior and better than me at something. Sexually?

Yes. I want him to be so much better. If we're on the same level, I kind of, like, respect him less. Because you want to feel like he's, like. Teach me things. Teach me things. Like, I want to be, like, Save me, rescue me, teach me. Tell me how it's done.

I love that too. That is so cute. Do you like that? No, I don't like to learn. I don't want to teach or learn. I'm in a knowledge-free relationship. We're going sober for knowledge. Neither of us know even one thing, and we do not yearn to.

I came across this TikTok of this girl who was like, I like who I am, but I find she's talking about like being boring. And she was like, I never really acquired a hobby, something like I'm truly like genuinely interested in. This is like all of Gen Z, which I respect them so much. They're just everyone's coming out as like having no hobbies and interests and i love it i've been waiting for this moment i my whole life was i've always been like what do people do in their free time if they don't need something from target like that's the only thing i know as my culture as my activity and so i i'm just so grateful that that's becoming a mainstream acceptable thing to share but sorry I keep continuing on but you're not that girl because you've had you have

a you know you have a background in dance there's a lot of things about you that are yeah wait didn't you dance no I don't think that oh I'm just trying to get you to dance um yes those things are true but that I have always struggled with like okay I let's say it's the end of the day and you just did all the things you need to do whatever and then I'm like now what you don't even mean like I don't dance class is a different thing to me and yes now it's maybe more that like love and hobby but I just feel like there's people that like they sit down at the end of the day and they crochet or I don't know there's like something there's there there I have I have both friends I have a friend that has extremely regimented hobbies does crochet does pottery does origami does like does like hobbies like with a capital h and i have a friend where

we've actually had issues because i was asking her like what's going on in her life and then she took it really personally because she never had hobbies and it was something that she felt insecure about and so i understand both people and i think that i still think that we're all just the same like i think that if you don't have an active hobby that you're doing then you're then you're doing imagination or you're thinking about stuff like like a true only child you're doing imagination and that's a game and it's a game you can play by yourself no no one played with me so I invented a lot of card games you are you making fun of me no me oh

okay I love card games yeah like I used to my parents were divorced obviously and my mom and I lived in Ottawa and my dad lived in Vancouver which is like a five or six hour flight and since I was three years old they would put me on planes by myself back and forth like to go see them because they weren't going to come with me and I used to bring cards on the plane with me and I would make whoever was sitting next to me play cards with me And I remember sometimes they would pretend to sleep and I'd wake them up and I'd be like it's your turn Like that's so cute. And would you would you have the um pass when you would have to fly? Unaccompanied minor I'd take it off though. It's kind of lame You're like I'm a grown up. Get like a big green thing and then there was a point

where they started giving you hats that said you am on it and I've never been able to write a joke about it but it is really like okay human traffic me like nobody's watching me big green hat that says unaccompanied like but I feel as though don't they like cater to you and are sweeter with you like what's the deal or is that just something I made up I don't remember that like maybe they were maybe there was always someone watching me but it did not feel like it you're just like target I felt unsupervised and I definitely was not fully fully being watched because there were several times that I would land in Vancouver and my dad wouldn't be there yet and this is like before cell phones and I would just be at the airport alone and I don't I wasn't like sitting with an employee or anything I was just walking around the airport wait this is crazy how do you feel like this is a does this do you feel

extremely independent because of that yes I do feel very independent wow I'm impressed by that I'm trauma it has its upsides I I never felt scared though yeah like I don't remember feeling scared and I there's a chance that it's just I'm unaware of my surroundings but because my mom is so quiet and because I was the only child I was on my own and then I'd go to my dad's and then you know I'd be you know he had stuff to do and so I was on my own like I always just felt like it was it was natural for me to be alone in the world I never felt nervous and I think that it does build confidence like I think for sure I think that stuff builds confidence when you there's not even a danger that you think about. Right.

The best things that I did for myself when I was younger was, I remember I was like, I was talking to the child, the middle school social worker, because I was going through a breakup and was taking advantage of the free resources we had at our fingertips. Hey, middle school? Yes. So cute. taking advantage of the free resources we had at our fingertips hey middle school yes so cute and I remember I was sharing with her that she was like so what's like you know how they therapists try to get to what's the real fear behind the fear whatever and I was sharing about how well if I don't have a boyfriend like what if I have to sit alone to eat or something like that and she was like so what and then she like built this whole thing in

my mind of like it's actually cool to go do things alone and because of that like I was so confident from then forward I would go to movies by myself I would go like sit sit to eat by myself and I do feel like then I would hear of people who are scared of that and I felt so much I felt so empowered but like that I feel so good having dinner by myself and going to movies by myself. I love doing that. This is incredible because I literally just learned how to do this last year. What? Really?

I could not even sleep alone in my own bed or in my own house. I swear, when Bobby would go on the road, I would have my sister or my mom come over. Or I would stay up the whole night until i could see the sunlight peek through and then i could go to bed i was terrified yeah i'm terrified of like the dark monsters like this is like okay the dark objectively scary scary yeah there is nothing to be ashamed of the dark everyone's like oh what are you scared of the dark it's like yeah actually yeah have you do you of the dark? It's like, yeah. Actually, yeah. Do you know the dark? Wait, but this whole thing of like eating alone, enjoying yourself alone.

That's in light. That's daytime. That I have never learned. I didn't learn to do that until like last year. I was like, oh, this is quite nice. It's such an underrated life skill. It is so like that changes the game. And I do know that it works a little bit against like what we're all discovering now. You need community and friendship.

But I also think there's room for just having the confidence to be alone, be in public alone, like have a group of people see you sitting there by yourself, like live in that. And it's just it feels so good. When I see a woman having dinner alone, I'm obsessed with her. That's my muse. That's my angel. No, but that's my drug now is having dinner or lunch alone is something that like I've just newly stumbled upon. And I think it's like, oh my God, this is so fucking great. How did I miss out an entire lifetime of always thinking I needed to eat with someone or

have someone there and it's so intoxicating being alone is scarily intoxicating for me now yeah once you get too used to it it is hard to go back well this is the problem of course and it's like I think that a lot of especially Gen Z we were talking about earlier obviously so much of their formative social years have were covid and so everybody has kind of substituted hang out in person time with online time right which our brains tell us is so good because it's like all built to make our brains feel good with notifications and messages and you know a sound or whatever but it's actually good for our brains to be in rooms with other people and so yes like you know we should promote being alone and being comfortable and stuff but it's also so important to be in a room with other

people as much as you can yeah no i i know is gen z just as physically affectionate with each other i don't think so they're not having sex with each other and i think that it's because a big part of it is porn because they all have been watching porn since they were born. No offense to your daughter. A little porn addict. Yeah. But I think it's the mix of like COVID. They don't see each other in person. They don't do drugs.

And so for us, we're getting drunk. We're hooking up with each other. Yeah, we're grabbing each other's titties, right? Exactly. Yeah. And so they don't have, they don't have, they're not hanging out with each other in person. Drinking, doing drugs. And they don't have social skills because they were Zoom high school. This is very Professor Scott Galloway.

Oh, I love Scott Galloway. He really believes. I love Scott Galloway. We have such a crush on him. Yeah, we do. He's our daddy crush. No, we need Scott come on our show. Do you know Gabor Mate?

Of course. I love him. He's taught me everything I know about myself. Wow. I know. Canadian. He is. Yeah.

Wow. Hello. Does everybody do that? But it's Professor Scott Galloway who was like there. I know it sounds terrible to say, but there is something to be said about learning how to properly socialize, learning how to properly drink amongst friends, especially for like young men. Yes. Oh, that's so interesting. What a hot take.

I just listened to his predictions for next year. Every year he puts out like a big batch of predictions. And his biggest his prediction that was going to have the biggest impact on America, more than AI, more than like Bitcoin, more than war is Ozempic. Because people that take Ozempic become sort of cured of any addiction. Like people are giving people Ozempic and they're gambling less. They're smoking less. Like they're using their smartphones less. And does it just take the compulsion out? It might be, it might cure addiction.

And it's like, it obviously hasn't been fully tested for that or anything, but that's like the biggest trend that he's noticing. And he put that as his number one biggest impact on America for the next year. Wow. biggest impact on America for the next year? Wow. I, okay. This is so complicated for me because obviously I hear that I'm so jealous. I'm like, I want to be on Ozempic too. Like, I don't want to be looking at my phone, you know, but then I'm, I'm obviously I can't just use Ozempic for that. Cause like, I don't want to do that, but but it is it is crazy to think there's like this miracle drug i mean did you experience like looking at your phone less i think so what did you do with the free time well that's the thing and that's why it'll it and and this is also it's

not been studied like stuff hasn't come out this is just this guy that yeah seems really on top of stuff and his daddy yeah he's our daddy he does get things wrong though too of course yeah of course and then that's a big part of being a predictor is like you get stuff right you get stuff wrong the stuff you get wrong everybody makes fun of you forever and brings it up and the stuff you get right you get to feel good but this one does feel like it makes sense to me and it's like i don't think everybody should go on ozempic or anything I just think that it makes sense why it's kind of this big impactful thing because we're so addicted to I mean everything that we're addicted to but food specifically if you're not thinking about food all day you're not ordering food all day that's also extra money that you end up having like people

talk about how expensive ozempic is but I found that it paid for itself and more some because i'm buying especially if i'm on the road i'm doing uber eats every weekend several times yes and i just wasn't doing that i was like eating the protein bars that i threw in the bottom of my backpack and so i would wake up and then i would have like those shitty little hotel coffee and then several hours would go by. And then it's like almost coffee. I drink hotel coffee. Wow. Too nasty for you. You're a nasty girl.

You're not going to match my free. Not going to match my nasty. Do you drink hotel coffee? I don't drink coffee at all. You don't. Do you drink coffee at all? I was like the biggest lover. It was my number one relationship. And then now I don't drink it.

Why? From pregnancy? like the biggest lover, it was my number one relationship. And then now I don't drink it. Wait, why? Because it's like, so I think a little bit of like the postpartum anxiety. And then also just, I don't want to be dependent on it and like have the energy crash. And then also it's like when you're taking care of a baby, like it's actually logistically kind of, at least for the first like month or so, it was really too complicated to like get to the kitchen to make a coffee. So I just was like, I'm going to go off of it. And I don't know.

I went so many years without it. And then again, it became my primary relationship in my life. It's my number one vice easily. Caffeine. No, that's why I love your Instagram stories about it. Like I, I'm with you. I swear. that's why I love your Instagram stories about it like I I'm with you I swear it's who I am like does it does it upset you to hear that I've quit because I would be upset when I heard heard people quit coffee I was like how could you do that I felt like I was being

broken up with I'm not upset because you just had a baby I support women you're giving me this time yeah but then obviously come back to us okay when you're ready when your daughter you know goes to university or whatever and you have the time yeah in 18 years you have time to make it to the kitchen i i kind of miss being a slave to something i'm sure i am and other things but like coffee um not even green tea like i am just so anti I hate the feeling of having to rely on anything and it's a control issue for sure but I don't like even with medication like I can't take Tylenol more than like you know and I probably need it but I'd be like no no I I won't take it because I don't like the feeling of needing something too much interesting relying on

something too much like I feel like there's something hovering that is has power over me and i'm terrified are you afraid that like any minute you'll be like stranded on a desert island and won't have it so you're just trying to prepare for like if i was stranded on a desert island i would be so grumpy because i couldn't have coffee i would be in a foul mood i I know this about you. You are a big fan of Survivor. Yes, I love Survivor. And what would you do on an island without your coffee? I would be in such a mood. I would be, I would starve and I'd be glad that I'm starving to death because without coffee, I'm not myself. You'd have to get to heaven to get your next coffee. The upside is that you nap a lot and then you just sleep through your starvation.

The upside is that you nap a lot and then you just sleep through your starvation. You just conserve your energy. I'm interested in this power dynamic you have with caffeine. How you don't want to be, because I have no problem being addicted to caffeine. And I don't really have an addictive personality with anything else. And I've, you know, I've dabbled in all these drugs. I'm, you know, all this stuff. But I don't feel, only thing I feel is especially now with this job, like waking up really early. I need like coffee right away to because most like what all of the monologue is written in the first hour.

Like I get in at eight and then they send me a research packet and I pick like which stories I want to do. And then I have an hour to do it. That's like an intense job. Yeah. And for a stand up comedian, like starting at 8 a.m.? It's yeah, I mean, we start at 8.30, but it's I have to be there at 8

so that I can get. I'm impressed. Thank you. That's huge. And I'm a big sleeper too. Like I'll sleep, if I don't set an alarm, I'll sleep till 3 p.m. But this having power over you, like because for me, I'm like, if something helps me great if it has power over me no problem i overdid it i was drinking six ventis a day i wouldn't get off

you were oh my god like insane i don't know this version of her you know i was a big like coffee have you guys met before i feel like you're learning a lot about each other today every day with her like she's a new person she surprises you every day that's why we how it's really sad no but i used to drink i would not do a single thing not lift a finger until i had a coffee in hand but then it got to a point where i i had this like weird heart arrhythmia like eight years ago and then on top of that i got really really bad anxiety that i was so desperate to not live in a state of anxiety so I eliminated everything and coffee was one of them and it was brutal I had headaches for a straight month because I was having caffeine withdrawals and it was so painful and I still love the smell of coffee

I ask any everybody I see with a coffee to just let me take a big inhale like I miss it obviously I love coffee culture. I just can't have it. I get too anxious. Wait, were you drinking like straight black ventis or what did you drink? No, I always drank lattes. Always. Regular milk?

With half and half. No. With half and half? Just like 10 years ago. That's so thick. I know. What? Love it.

That's so thick. Half and half as milk? Is this common? Is this is this an american it wasn't like it was maybe not a quite a latte it would be like get it black iced and then add the half and half after oh okay yeah i'm shocked by the amount of dairy you consume she's worried i'm actually one of the few asians i know that is not lactose intolerant totally Totally. I have, I've never been intolerant to dairy or anything like that. Like, and that's actually a huge flex, but I can't eat tomatoes. I can't eat nightshades. It makes me shit blood. Yeah. But I like eggplant tomatoes. I can't eat

any of that. I will literally shit blood. But for some reason I'm like metal clad when it comes to, to dairy. Iron clad, iron clad guts when it comes to dairy it's so weird and everyone around me is just like farting their life away when they have an ice cream and i'm like no i'm good i know but then they show you a tomato and you're like oh no what what upsets your stomach i'm you know what i have a really strong stomach i nothing upsets your stomach? I'm, you know what? I have a really strong stomach. I, nothing upsets my stomach. Like I obviously have a long lifelong history of like eating way too much and that gives me a stomach ache, but I, I can eat anything. And I think that's why pregnancy challenged my identity so much because I couldn't have tomato sauce. There's so many things that I

wasn't able to have. Like acid reflux. Yeah. And I'm so entitled to just being able to stuff my face with like, give me battery acid. Like I could just eat anything. I'm so strong stomached. And I have wanted to ask you about pregnancy. Really? Because yeah, I, you did some interview about how you were like, you had put off putting, having kids because you were worried you were going gonna lose part of your identity or part of your career and that i mean i think you might have credited trisha paytas oh it's like mother like oh she can do it so we're the same oh yeah that's true i forgot about that but how do you feel like it's affected comedy like were you doing the road full-time i was doing more acting i wasn't doing the road full- or were you doing more acting stuff I wasn't doing the road full time but I was doing it a bit like especially I'm trying to think I think basically

like I was sort of like touring on and off like May of last year all the way till January February of this year but very on and off um which I loved it. I was having a really good time with it. I have completely lost my identity and I'm thrilled about it. It's crazy. Like I do remember I was really nervous about that and it's maybe I like subconsciously knew it was coming or something, but it's a journey. Like, right. The way I feel now is I feel very attached to my baby and I don't and like I just I want to be a mom and I don't have a lot to say on the stage. I don't like I don't know.

It's really weird. It's a new chapter. It is a new chapter. And maybe that'll change. And I just don't know. We can't be scared of new chapters. Yes. Yeah curious like how does how does that i just want to know like is that crazy to you guys like is that do you feel do you want kids like do you fear that identity shift do you i think i fear career things like i feel that i do want a kid but i and i this is

really bad to say. And I think that people have gotten in trouble for saying this online. But I really would only want a daughter because I really liked what me and my mom had. I've never seen a mother son relationship that I'm like, oh, I would love to have something like that. Like, I've never seen a mother son relationship that I'm trying to get in on. I also, by the way like boy mom culture or when people are really proud of being boy moms just gross me out it's they really make me feel sick it's scary yeah like especially there's this one woman on tiktok she got dragged

obviously this is maybe what i'm thinking right she's like you know i love my she's like, you know, I love my daughter. She's like, my daughter is great, yada, yada. But my son? My son? Very like Oedipus complex. Very creepy. I have a cousin who, oh my God, like I, she still posts on Facebook how she feels. It's just like very, very like, she's a fucking dinosaur about it. But she talks about like um god bless the girl who's gonna come in and try to marry my son like a very toxic mother-in-law vibes by the way her son is like nine years old i did not expect that nine i did not expect and she she thinks she's being so cool

about it like she's just gonna hate whoever girl comes in between her and her son. And I find it so creepy. It's like the point to raise a child and the boys for them to not need you anymore. Yes. It's for them to fly off. And then that's sad, too. That's even if you do that perfectly, then you're like, oh, you poured your heart into this person. And now they're just gone.

But it's like, of course, of course, that's the right thing to do. That's how I view parenthood. I view parenthood as this like sacrificial experience of like, I'm going to try my best to guide this human so that they don't need me anymore. Okay. I have things to say. I have some responses here. Yeah. I know it hurts. It hurts me even to say that it is not sacrificial it is like the best thing ever okay and there is no sacrifice involved okay like this was a big thing because I before I was like I did not I was not into babies I was like oh my god you guys like moms have to like change their baby's diapers and now when I'm changing a diaper I'm like this is my honor thank you let me serve you I love you so much thank you and also to the boy mom thing like because I viewed all babies like that I was like I don't want to do that I don't want you know

but once you have your baby and I have to it's the same for once they have their little boys or you have your baby like you're just on the other side of that and you would this take you wouldn't connect to it anymore once you have your boy or your baby you're like i don't know what the fuck was i saying before it was coolest but i know what you mean and like i it's you can't deny wanting a daughter i think i would just i loved what my mom and i had yeah and so I feel like I could do what we did I could put my baby on a plane alone and she would love it and she would go wait but there is a fear about that though about having a daughter even though I kind of am with you when I when the few times that I did imagine like being a mom the fantasy was always with a little girl i never considered even like

i never had an image of my mom in my mind about being a mother to a boy really but then i you know whitney came on whitney cummings came on the podcast and she was like well maybe this is like she found out she had a boy and i think at some point she wanted a girl too but she was like maybe this is a good thing so I don't like project my girl wounds like onto like another um it's true and I'm sure as soon as you get pregnant as soon as you have your baby as soon as you make that choice yes of course whatever baby you have is going to be your life right right it's just right nowivity, with full caffeine. Full evening caffeine. So this article, I don't know what it's called. I think it's like the heartbreak of having boys. But she explains the eventual heartbreak of your sons never coming back home.

Because she says like, you know, when they meet their own families, they usually get absorbed into that family. And no matter how traumatic of a childhood I had with my mother, I'm always going to run back to her. Like there is no leaving my mom. I understand. I know that there is something to that. Right. Cause I just, well, I don't know. Like, cause for us growing up, we always went to my mom's side of the family, but that's also because my dad's side of the family was dead. So we couldn't visit them. No, we didn't go to the cemetery. It was in a bad neighborhood. But I also see a lot of men who are very close to their moms.

And I don't think it's always like that is what I'm trying to say. But I understand that take. I don't know. I'm trying to. Yeah. understand that take I don't know I'm trying to yeah but I do see how like like there is a security in having a daughter yes but also there's a security in opposite gender because for me like when I think about how close I am with my dad like that's such a bond and I know that there's a certain kind of bond that you have with each parent and it's different I don't know like I but I'm with you guys I have no idea what it would be like to have a boy and also I will say I have a great relationship

my I've been with my boyfriend for eight years he has a nephew that he's very very close with who's like the only kid of that my boyfriend has two sisters there's just one guy he's very, very close with. Who's like the only kid of that. My boyfriend has two sisters. There's just one guy. He's the baby. Right. And he's a teenager now, 16 ish. Him and I have such a great relationship. We have so much fun together. He loves thrift shopping. He's like, we like the same music and we have an amazing, really, I feel that I have a better relationship with my boyfriend's nephew than everybody in the past that I've ever dated has had with their mother. Oh, that's cute. That's hopeful. And if we texted him and we're like, Hey, do you feel like we have a really cool relationship? He would not answer. I'm sure of that. I want the boy moms to like comment in and tell us. I do not do not come for

me. I've had people come for me before you have for for this take not for this take okay i think that um there's boy mom and then there's like the toxic boy moms those are very different we don't we don't put them near each other but yeah my sister has one of each and she's you know we were just me and her two girls and close to our mom and so she and she loves having a boy and so to me that's like okay if you have a boy it's gonna be okay yeah my my so my one of my close friends she has three boys one girl she says the same thing she's like dude boys are so much fun she's like, dude, boys are so much fun. She's like, girls are fun. Boys are fun.

They're all fun. So I'm like, okay. Okay. I'm walking away from this being more open to the boys. We're, we're so, we're being like toxic positivity about boy moms.

I know because you see those gender reveals where the dad has an absolute breakdown when it's not a boy. Have you seen those? He's crazy. I do not like that. I do not like that that and i don't want to be like that i don't want to be the female equivalent of that of a dad because when yeah when you see a guy freak out when he find out finds out it's a girl you're like ew what does this guy think about women exactly and i feel that i have a very healed relationship with men at this point in my life and so now i'm having to reflect on no i know you want

the bond that you have with your mom don't don't step out straight away from like that's very valid and real and i i like that and i feel that too men who are disappointed that it's a girl you guys are wrong it's like the no one is going to love a man the way a girl loves her dad like they're they're so stupid for not knowing oh they don't know but it makes me mad i know but it just comes off so like just like you said it's like how would what do they think of girls you know just to be sorely disappointed that you're having a girl it's like what do you think of girls then so sad i know did you do a gender reveal party? No, I start a forest fire. You can tell me. No.

So I had had a miscarriage three years ago. And because of that, for some reason, this is crazy. for some reason i this is crazy i this night this pregnancy that i just had i didn't think about gender literally for one second until i got the call and it was so i'm like i can't believe but i think just because i was so afraid of losing the pregnancy and so when she said like when i was on the phone and she said it's a girl i was like i mean i'm not gonna lie it was the best moment of my life I'm not gonna lie but and it was also so and it was so I was like oh my god yeah of course it's like ah but yeah you were more excited to do like a live reveal than a gender reveal yes yes exactly I think that that's maybe what people should do instead I think there's nothing wrong with like you know

I know the first time I was pregnant, I was like wanting it to be a girl and then it was a nothing. And I was like, okay, next time I'll take whatever. Yeah. Either one, either one, either one. Yeah. We have to wrap it up, which is so sad. Sophie, I hope you come back on the show.

You definitely. I'll come back every day. You fit in here a little too well for your own good. Thank you. Where can people find you are you going to be touring again soon yeah i've decided to not cancel very many of my stand-up dates really yes because i can do anything yes because of caffeine so yeah i'll be on the road a lot when does this come out a week or two or maybe next next week yeah yeah I'm opening for Taylor Tomlinson on the road quite a bit and then I'm headlining in Nashville um in two weeks um I have yeah I have

tons pretty much every weekend I'm on the road I'm going to lots of different cities well I had a full stand-up calendar this job came at me very fast oh my gosh full stand-up calendar and I think that the lack of desperation is what was able to make it happen was because I had all this other stuff planned and so I was like okay well I'll just have fun with this submission and then then when it rains it pours so now I have lots going on but yeah you're so funny and I think it will always be pouring for you so you're so funny. Thank you. You're so sweet. I need to come see your hour because, dude, if you haven't seen her live, she's so funny. There's no one like her.

When you opened for me in December, everyone was talking about you, asking about you. That is so sweet of you to say. Thank you. You are so funny. Where can people get tickets to see you? My Instagram is sophbuds, and the link tree has all of my dates and ticket stuff. I have a tour poster on my Instagram, too, that has all my future upcoming dates. I have an email list in my link tree as well.

So if you put your city in, I will email you. Do you bring the banana on stage? It's like fitting for you. It feels so right in my hands. Do you guys do this with every episode? Yeah. Can I have both of yours? Yes. Thank you. Kyla is having money problems yeah please i need all the bananas

i can get um you guys thank you so much for listening and as always we will see you next week with a brand new episode and also boy moms come through comment and tell us how amazing it is i don't come for me and i'm not interested. I'm not going to learn. I'm not going to change my ways.