Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - The Hickey Challenge & Panty Auction

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors:   BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday Stitch Fix - Get started today by filling out your style quiz at https://stitchfix.com/tuesday Athletic Greens - Go to https://athleticgreens.com/tuesday to get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase  JUST Egg - JUST Egg. Really good eggs. https://www.ju.st Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started all right sluggies

wow do we have a show for you it gets really really wild there's a lot of let's just say there's a lot of physical contact on this one and it gets very sloppy in good ways. So tune in, subscribe. We are very excited to deliver this episode to you. Oh, we have a new segment today. Trash tank. See what that is. See what Annie thinks. I don't even remember what it is. You guys, I've been doing stand-up on the road. It is so much fun and I'm going to be in Raleigh, North Carolina coming up,

Indianapolis, Philadelphia, San Diego, Austin, Chicago. Sorry, my Austin shows got rescheduled. It wasn't my fault. I am still sorry, though. They did that to me, too. I know.

And so many more. Go to estheronice.com for tickets and check out my clothing line at sleepoverbyester.com and enjoy today. out my clothing line at SleepoverByEsther.com and enjoy today. It's crazy. All right.

You guys can see me in Naples, Florida, Tampa, Florida, Springfield, Missouri, New Westminster, British Columbia, and Canada, Washington, D.C., Richmond, Virginia, San Francisco, Dania Beach, Florida, Austin, Texas, Tempe, Arizona, and many, many more on my website. Go to Annie Letterman dot com slash shows. I cannot wait. It's been more fun than I can even express. What does it hurt your feelings when your dude does not post you? It's shady.

I totally disagree. Well, I want to hear your take on it because I have a new, mine's evolved. I used to feel that way too. Because I don't view Instagram as like the place for that. I really don't. Like my Instagram is me, me, me, me, me. Like, you know how people are like, look at her page. It's all selfies. I'm like, yeah, that's my page. It's me. Self-promotion. Yeah. So I'm promoting myself. I'm social. I'm socializing with my friends and fans.

That's such an old thought, too. Like, I feel like that's like the way that like the New York comedy scene, because I feel like a lot of my friends in the New York comedy scene, their careers are not doing well because they think they're too cool for social media. I'm not saying all of them, but like some of them where it's like they're like, that's just where I go post my dates. It's like, no, but this is another place to entertain people. This is another avenue to like tell jokes and stuff. But like what you're saying, I remember someone saying that to me, too, being like, wow, you

put a lot of yourself on there. And it's like, have you ever seen one of those sites? One of those people's sites? Their Instagram sites? Those websites? No, people's Instagrams where it's like other. It's like, that's weird. That's voyeuristic. That's like creepier than anything else. It's mine.

No, it's you. It's everyone. Occasionally like me every six months. But see, I actually, I think your Instagrams be whatever you want it to be. No. Kalilah's should be only me and Annie. I know.

There's not really enough of us. But yeah, no, I totally agree. And I feel like actually social media, I know there's millions of takes and articles about how it's so bad. But I actually have a very positive relationship with it because I'm using it to socialize and to express myself and to share but but I know that's kind of a tangent but I I I love the way you share kind of like a sloppy look you know the world sometimes you go wow do you guys think it's shady to not post like what's your every situation is different right because i mean like obviously where you

guys are public figures you have to be a lot more protective of certain things about your life that you think you're not a public figure it's that's so funny it's so cute you think she's getting away more famous than us well compared to bobby at least like he's a public figure i remember when i first started dating him i used to be so crushed like both flattered but crushed every time he would post a picture of me because then it just invited i wasn't i was new to it all right so people would just always go for what what i looked like you know how shiny my tits look like everything about that i'm so sad i missed the shiny tits days oh it was shiny i really was so shiny i would have really been and that was the one thing that

bobby just seemed to always like post he always posted and i remember he never used to ask permission i would send him pictures of me like in the bathroom and all of a sudden it was on instagram like you have to take that down that was just for you he was like yeah but you look so hot i was like yeah but everything about it like and this is when i couldn't not read right now i'm so good at not reading and yeah i used to i'm so good at not reading. And yeah, I used to read it. I'm so good at not reading too, but not comments. It's the one thing I'm able to read. Just books. Wait, that is crazy that you sent, like imagine sending your lover.

No, no, no. Imagine sending your lover like a sexy pic and then you post it on Instagram. No, and then all of a sudden you're getting like, before she saw it posted, I'm sure she started getting all these alerts like, follow, follow, follow, follow. No, but I think it's still up even. If we look back far enough on his thing, I'll tell you which picture it is. I think it's darker if it's not up. If he went back and took it down, that's a darker situation.

Wow. He listened to the feedback. Go find it, slugs. But I feel like, okay okay so i used to think it was a protection thing because i never really posted todd that much i always wanted to like keep him like safe i guess you don't want to like out them or expose them to this world as you're saying but then i thought about it and i go i think i learned that from guys who fucking cheat on their wives yes i think i learned it from my friends who cheat on their wives and that's the excuse they

use on the flip side the reason i say it's situation for situation is because a perfect example is there was this guy. I'm just gonna say his name. We don't give a fuck. His name is Luis and he's from Brazil. There's so many of them. So yeah, she acts like she's outing Luis. Are you sure it wasn't Jose? Every other photo was of him and his gorgeous chick. But every other message that I got was from him trying to solicit sex from me. It's so weird. So it's like, it doesn't, it, there is no formula for, there's no like way to see if a guy, like they're all gonna do it.

That insults me too, because I, I when guys do that it makes me so like you just think I'm that bitch? Yeah. I had a guy that was like why don't you walk me to my truck this married guy where I'm like

and we know him I'm not gonna say who it is but um I know him. Why don't you give me a walk why don't you give like you should walk me to my truck

I'm like so what I can blow you? Like what? Wait who was it? Oh. But it's just like it's like why would I Wait I love that we have

the same people that yes the same ones come want us to walk for you oh he came for me so hard and we know his chick and like the thing that i think is like at least a little bit better the fact esther he's coming for you don't worry that is it's just crazy now that you washed your hair maybe esther on new year's eve while he was having dinner with his family he was like what are you doing tonight this year maybe three years ago he was like what are you doing tonight i was like left him on but he knows i hate that i'm with my in-laws right now do you want to go he did that to me that is like he thinks you're gonna be a partner in crime like for me I was like single I'm like why would I like it's not like we're deviants together it's like you think because

I was thinking about like if we go to your truck okay like let's say I was like in which I was never in at all let's say I was in it's like I love this so wait we walk to my car I finished my spot being very good at comedy you not being good at comedy and then that's a clue by the way i don't want like to be seen with you i don't biggest clue you could ever give i'm like so you're not good at comedy and then you want me to walk you to your car like so i let's say okay so i'm literally like i leave a sea of adoring fans okay like i leave a sea of like people being like can i take pictures with you you're amazing Where'd you get your outfit? It's Esther Club.

You can get it on or it's Sleepover by Esther. You can get it on our website. And Esther on Ice. I'm like in the middle of just like joy. You want me to stop like what I've worked my ass off to do? You want me to stop doing that so I can walk you to a car that's more expensive than the one I'm living in at that time to then to what suck your dick like I'm not coming in this situation like what is this where's my orgasm in this scenario there's no like it wasn't what are you gonna bang me doggy

style while the the door guys look fucking Christopher Columbus me? No. What is the incentive? But that's what I'm saying. I'm like, what would I get out of this? That I get to suck your unfunny dick? Like, I'm good. I'm good. And this person's nice enough. Do you know what I mean?

But it's like, dude, how delusional. I have seen this happen to you multiple times. They think I'm a hoe in a different way than I'm a hoe. I know. You mistake my hoe. You misread my type of hoe we come you don't that's the kind of hoe i am yeah same dude it's great like it's just why would like the fact that they think we would like enjoy their jizz so much it's like i know i'm just so traumatized by even when you say his name, just like years of and I have the I still have the receipts and one day I'm going to just submit it to Dumont one day. And they're going to go, who is that? They're going to go, who is this? They're going to go, you're actually more of a public figure. Kalilah, that is she's not wrong. That's not a joke.

public figure kalilah that is she's not wrong that's not a joke it's so it's just really also very interesting to hear people pronounce dumois because i never i was like x x is silent that's weird um i it is i here's why i'm i like this conversation so much because you guys are talking about a person who is the perfect example of a guy who, if he walks into the room, he does not see me. You're very short. No, it's not that. It's like, there are guys that like only see the women they want to fuck. And then the other women are just like, I feel like you come right up to his penis. You could just do like a standing blowjob. You should be very attracted to you. bending no squats they don't see me they just see you but you know he stopped seeing me when my tits came off are you serious shiny yeah well that's i don't think he has a type because my tits were never put on

and they're still in the freezer for me and i listen i don't mind like like back in the day i kind of liked flirting with these guys it was fun to kind of like be in that sort of like comedy store like yeah silly like what do you wear what shoes you wear whatever and it's like but now it's just like I'm so fucking over it yeah and it's just because it was abused do you know why I think Bobby is one of the hottest men I'll ever know is because I have a problem with your eyes. I showed him all of these text messages and DMS on Twitter. And did you hold the D because there was a dick in it? The DMS? The DMS. And not even slightly perturbed. He was just like, Oh, yeah, he's a dickhead. Like so unbothered and so like trusting of the situation where he was just like oh yeah like he's a dickhead like so unbothered and so like trusting

of the situation where he was like oh yeah like he could never have you like that's how sure he was that's that is the secret to being hot as a guy is being so confident that you you're just like whatever it has to be the right like measurement of it though because if they just don't care at all but bobby knows that he can trust you he knows you're not gonna fucking do that yeah but he also knows that that type of man is so not for me at all

I know and it's like ugh they're just so sloppy it's like sloppy don't send me a peach I have a peach

like you sent me a peach I have a peach I have the same peach. You fucking hack. Like, I'm top quality here, okay? I would just like to go on the record and say a man has never sent me a peach. But I don't know. And I don't know if I'm proud or sad.

It's really, it's like, you have to choose what you want. Okay. Because I think you are like, you're a hot person that hides hotness and you don't like they think we're like ready like they think we're like ready to drop to our knees it's like a sad so he i think he's just too he's i'm gonna go with the narrative that he's just too dumb to see how beautiful he's intimidated by you yeah he's intimidated by me no he literally thinks we would we would be like please let us gag on your cock like he'd like it's that's the sad part well he looks at us like we would do it

what yeah i'm the car thing is interesting like what could you do in a car that would actually be worth it for us unless i'm on all four. Drive me to my boyfriend to a hotter guy. Drive me to a hotter guy is the best answer. Yeah, unless I'm on all fours and my pussy is sticking out the window and he's eating me out from the outside. That's a quick answer with long. Wait, you know what I like about this? I'm imagining it's like an old truck and you have your pussy backed up to that little crevice window they have. Yeah.

And that's the window that opens. They just open that little triangle side window that they have on the old trucks. If this person had said this at the Comedy Store parking lot, how about you just stick your pussy out my window and I'm just going to stand here and eat it in front of everyone? I would have been like, yeah, okay. That's so funny. That sounds legendary. Stick your pussy out the window sounds like it's gonna get caught in the door though oh no you slammed it oh no her pussy died i feel like i can't imagine like saying to a guy well no i've said some fun

things to guys but we were like together i would have liked to have been like sure i'll walk you to your car let's get in your car Okay, now we're in your car. Okay, play with my hair. Okay, will you braid my hair? Pet me. Rub me. Was he doing that to your long pubes? Just try to make him do gross.

No, you'd be like, get me candy. Do you have any gummies? Do you have milkshakes in here? What if a guy hit on you and then he took you to his car and it turns out that he was on that show that Exhibit used to do, Pimp My Ride? Oh, Pimp My Ride. And there were like high heels in the back and stuff. Remember how it would always be like a shoe store in the trunk? I dated a guy, same guy who like freaked out when a cockroach – the Mexico cockroach story.

But I dated a guy who hated his ex so much because she cheated on him with Exhibit. After one of his shows. Exhibit pimped his ride? I know it is like, would you rather be cheated on by like a rando,

a guy, or a famous person? What would hurt you the most right now who would dave have to be secretly having a clandestine relationship with donut i was just gonna say is it donut which is happening and i'm actually fine with it donut is such a gift from the Lord. It's so crazy. She's so angelic. She's so fucking cute. She's also slutty. Like she flirts with Carlos a lot, I feel like.

Barking up the wrong tree. Carlos is marking that down. I like that. Do you mark down every time someone makes fun of you? Wait, I have a segment. I have a segment to pitch you guys. Okay. I hope it's recurring.

Is this segment pitching a segment segment? Yes. It's time to talk about what is a segment. Okay, so I have a game. It's called Trash Tank. Okay. Is it when we let you eat us out? We go to your truck with you?

It's like Shark Tank. What? Oh, no. What if you started doing that to guys at the comedy store? Yes, I'm going to. Walk me to my camera. Hey there. You would be such a good creep because they do want to fuck you.

This is the thing, Esther. You're just like, you're a secret because they can't, you look young. So you out another part of them. If they were to just like blatantly hit on you. I'm 33 though. But it's the, yeah. Okay. Trash tank.

Sorry. Hear me out. It's like shark tank, but we pitch each other. Hear me out. It's like Shark Tank, but we pitch each other. Today I'm pitching a business idea that I think really fits well in the universe of Trash Tuesday. It's like a strip club. Except we're naked and you're clothed. Damn it. It's like a strip club, but the dancers don't get naked. You just wear like a cute bra, maybe a thong. And we just sexy dance to like 70s cool music that I feel like old guys like.

And so it's just like a place to go where you can see women dancing to cool 70s music. And old men are watching? Well, anyone can go. Can I add to this business idea? It's just ex-boyfriends? It's only ex-boyfriends. Is something preventing you from achieving your goals? Plenty of things.

My anxiety, my seasonal depression. I'm having sleep problems now again. Can you believe that? Wow, I didn't expect that. money problems. Wow. You guys okay? Esther's been using BetterHelp more than us and now needs less help. You guys, we want you to check out betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. And you can connect in a safe and private online environment. It's so convenient.

And all without ever having to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room. BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed, which is such a big deal because sometimes it's just not a match. Yeah. And then you feel guilty for leaving your therapist. And you know what I feel like? I feel like we've kind of been in this era of like, talk about your mental health issues,

talk about them. And that's great. And we've done kind of been in this era of like talk about your mental health issues, talk about them, and that's great. And we've done that. And now it's about taking care of your mental health. And I think it's really – I think this year should be the year we all really take steps to make our lives better. Yeah, because we – I want to – I need everyone in my life to deal with their shit, with their therapist like on their own time so that you can come to me and be your best self.

And I want to offer that to everyone in my life too. Like I want to come to you with my best foot forward and I can do that because I use BetterHelp. And it really is happening, isn't it, Esther? I really, it is wild. We have worked on ourselves. We at Trash Tuesday want you to start living a happier life today. And as a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. I will say this. I am so happy that the pandemic is sort of opening back up. We can go out and stuff and go. But the one thing I really hate is I don't like going and shopping.

I hate waiting in line. I hate picking everything out. And that is why I absolutely love Stitch Fix Freestyle. Well, Stitch Fix Freestyle is a shop that is built just for you. And for me personally, online shopping in general can be very daunting. I never know if things are going to fit.

Returns are so annoying. I just found out that I'm on a no returns list for one of my favorite stores. Is that your parents' house? But this season, I'm saying screw it. I'm letting Stitch Fix do all the work for me. Whether you're looking for a brand you love or to try a new one, at Stitch Fix Freestyle, you can shop over 1,000 brands and styles personalized to your size and fit.

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at stitchfix.com slash Tuesday. Because when I went to Australia, they had 28 and over only clubs where anyone younger could not go. 28? So we should have an age range. Yes. So if it's a 70s place and it's a swanky thing for older gentlemen, I think that it should be 35 and over only or 40 and over only for the guests for the guests yeah it should be a very specific age range i like like 35 to 55 i like that a lot i would almost say like todd can't come he can drop me off just to wait outside todd can't come for 15 years

how does it wait till i'm literally dying of old age to get into the club? When can I see my girl dance though? I asked him last night if he wanted me. I was like, do you ever want to go to like a strip club or anything? He's like, no. He's like, I have my bow. I was like, do you want me to learn how to sexy dance? He goes, no. Well, you're going to at this. That's so funny that my boyfriend is just. I feel like that's common. I feel like guys are just like... I mean, it's so embarrassing to do a sexy dance to a guy that doesn't want to sexy dance. My worst fear. Do you think Dave would react well to you sexy dancing?

Yeah. Yeah. Bobby would not. To you sexy dancing or to me sexy dancing? That's so funny. Nobody else but Dave would react well. Wait, but you know what? I feel like Dave would be suspicious at first.

That's what I like about Dave. He's always like, what are you up to? it's like his first reaction that is so true is this for me or for you yes are you filming this what are you doing this business idea is for me obviously how do you guys how do you feel about the age range i love it are we serving alcohol? Yes. Is it a full service bar? It can be. Okay. Tell me more. Yeah, no. Okay.

We have, it's weed. We serve edibles. It's a weed hack. That's very 70s. It is. We sell edibles. Yeah, it's very, it's all 70s themed. And it's the three of us have to just, and it's not hard dancing.

I'm talking like just, you know, slow body rolls. And you're just kind of like, and maybe we have mirrors everywhere. What I can do. So we can get high. What I can do. Exactly. So I'm allowed to be a part of it.

And we can, you know, you can crawl and lay on the stage and act like a kitten. Like it's very, it's whatever you want it to be. Wow. You're really trying to get **** to try to fuck you. Crawl again. Are you just swatting something away or telling me to stop? No, I was waving away my smoke. Oh, he was like this.

I was like, oh. He's auditioning for the club. Oh. I think you're onto something. Yeah. I think that if I imagine what my dad would have loved me, there are certain elements that I think that... My dad was also born in 1924.

Keep that in mind. Wait, first of all, putting a number on it is really crazy. Makes it really crazy. Telling us the year makes him the oldest man I've ever imagined existing. Okay, so next year, my dad would have been 100. Oh, my God. Will be 100. We have to celebrate it. My dad's 100. Daddy White instead of Betty White? I've ever imagined existing okay so next year my dad would have been a hundred oh my we'll be a hundred we have to celebrate it

my dad's a hundred daddy white instead of Betty White yes aww daddy white we have to celebrate that we should celebrate that you have no idea

I think that's like the only reason I like am obsessed that's her dad is so old but you know what we should do you know what we should do

we should in honor of your dad find a really old guy we should do a strip club I just like we were talking about that and you went when i think what my dad would like i gotta go to the philippines it sounds fun there so i'm gonna reframe that and it's not i don't think about my father when i think about

your new business venture okay i'm gonna go ahead and say that i think um about my father's friends when what they were they also were all born in 1924 the fact that the age range is now 99 to 100 is so makes it so much better wait oh for the 90s to 100 years old you have to be born in 1924 i just feel like for some reason i feel like this idea this club where we get to dance sexy in front of mirrors and men get to go or whoever wants to go i feel like everyone's happy right because like we get to like show off but we're not naked and there's no you know there's nothing more to it and then the guys are happy because they can relax and listen to music they like i that's not where they're going they're not going for the music are you sure because i have a really good playlist i have an idea 70s i like that but i

have an idea what if we make it's just for lesbians okay okay and then i mean guys can come but they have to be there like on the outside. There's like an outside. Inner concentric circle, outer concentric. And they're behind like plexiglass. Like they can't. They can just. Yeah. See what the girls are into.

Yeah. I like that. Because they don't get front row. Wait, last night. Okay, so I have this bit where I talk about role play and I and I do some crowd work with it where like I ask if people have done role play and I ask them what they've done and last night someone said gynecologist and I was like that is my worst nightmare and then they go oh but we're lesbians and I was like I get it there's a reason that lesbian gynecologists changed it i have the duck bill from when we were nurses i

stole the duck bill from that episode so i actually have it and todd was chasing me around with it as a joke but i was like maybe we could see what's up we came up with a new um kink the other or a little while ago and jules what your dad me and my lover um so the new role play um in our household is i'm a lesbian he's gay we're really uninterested in each other like so and we're in college we have no interest in each other at all but we're just like fuck we haven't gotten laid so we have really lazy likevolved, like disengaged sex. So it's like, I guess I'm doing this. You're like, I'm not going to come.

And we're both saying, I'm not going to come. I'm not going to come. Like me neither. But we're like so desperate. So we just bang. That is amazing. Do you like to be tied up? Is that scary?

It scares me. I know. That's why I think I want to do it. It's like karaoke. Because I just don't trust Bobby with his knock game. And also Bobby like would just like leave you. He hears like a little alert. Yeah.

To go play fucking whatever game he plays. If we ever don't hear from Kalilah for a few days. She doesn't show up to the podcast. It's because. She's tired. No, Bobby needs her to like walk the dogs and stuff. He would untie her real fast. He needs her to like walk the dogs and stuff. He would untie her real fast. He needs you to do too many chores.

He'd get hungry. Feed me. He'd honestly call me and he'd be like, where are you? He'd forget that I was stuck somewhere like this. I know. He would miss you. That's the thing. He would be like sad that you're not with him, but also the reason you're not with him.

I'm so glad that you're not with him, but also the reason you're not with him. Well, I was thinking about it because I feel like I still have a fear of pleasure a little bit. So I kind of go in. Do you guys cover yourself up when you come? Yes. I feel like I want to try. I don't know if it's possible to be like this. But I'm like, maybe I need to get tied. Well, this is why if I masturbate, I come so quickly.

It's because no one's looking at me and if somebody is pleasuring me and they're looking right at me it takes forever look through the window so what i'll say is you know like don't take this the wrong way but then i'll cover my face with a pillow yes so i'm just in my head why do we have to smother ourselves why do i have to worry about the sounds i'm making you know the gaze into his eyes because he's looking at me for a reaction i know he's getting off but i really just don't want the pressure of looking pretty so i just shove a pillow in my face and i'm like it's i don't know if it's about like how i look it's literally like my instinct is to just like cover up i don't know i think it's it's like how it's like a cultural thing like i feel like the generations below us won't be like that but

i do feel like because i i feel like all women like in our age range like feel that well they get to learn from euphoria well here's a thing too that my dad watches by the way oh but to know that my dad's favorite show is euphoria is so upsetting i love that for him who is that show not for you but who is the show for your dad no i know it's like you're it's too old for kids in high school and then it's too young for grown-ups it's so triggering when you find out your parents are watching something like that like i remember i knew my parents loved true blood and then i booked a true blood commercial and i so i like but what was it i like for the this is how can we find it yeah this is like how much the industry has changed since i've been in it

i was in a commercial selling dvds for true blood on your little hands are those the hands of the American Girl doll? And then so I booked the commercial. So I was like, oh, I'm going to watch. I'll watch some of the episodes. And the show ended up being so good. I remember I watched like three seasons in a weekend. And there was so much sex and like just crazy shit.

I'm like, this is a show my parents watch. And they sit next to each other. And your dad's commenting. Your dad's not just watching. Your dad has like a whole thought process behind it i bet i wonder so who does your dad watch euphoria with the local teens watch it he'll like he'll watch it like my mom will go to sleep and then he'll watch it and it's like he's not jerking off because it's b-roll's dick hasn't worked for years but he's always like my rubber ducky i'm like dad it's so weird that you want to just bring your penis up but um here we go true blood the

blood for the holidays featuring esther pavitsky is this it what's this honey okay grandma so it's this show about this crazy town in louisiana that is filled with sex crazed vampires and they all want sookie's blood. Who's blood? Sookie. She's a waitress and a fairy and a mind reader. Some people call her Fangbanger, but those people are religious freaks. No offense. Her best friend, Tara, lives with a she-demon

who sometimes makes Tara's eyes go all black, and the whole town has a huge orgy. Merry Christmas, Grandma. I love you so much. That's actually cute. Oh, my God. Were you cast as a 12-year-old, too? You were obviously about 10 years younger than you are in that. Isn't that crazy?

Can you imagine seeing a commercial for DVDs right now? But what's funny, too, is the commercial is the reality of the world you were living in. But it was the grandmother telling it. It was like your family telling you about the orgies. We used to watch Sex and the city together me and my parents oh i have horrible memories of them watching it and me just walking upstairs in the hallway and being like what did i just hear like she squirted that how did you handle watching it with them you just sit quietly um you just kind of like stay forward it's a it's more of

like a squaring off with the television you just stay it's a shoulder exercise it's a shoulder exercise and you're kegeling which is awkward but you do have to have everything has to be tight your core and you just watch it but i told you guys that i saw um rec room for a dream with my dad right yeah yeah that was really i remember watching the l word with my dad, right? Yeah. Yeah, that was really... I remember watching The L Word with my mom. Love that show. We would just sit a certain... We'd sit further apart from each other, I think. As to not, you know,

we wouldn't feel the steam off each other's pussies. Yeah, you don't want to any sort of like... You don't want to smell the stew, you know? Yeah. Yeah, I don't want... These are the women i met in hollywood and said let's do a show with them and honestly you're doing great look at you're doing great now you're welcome we spiced up your life i want to ask you guys a question about um something do we really make sex sounds because we feel them or are we programmed to make them?

Such a good question. I would say I was, I would say my 20s were like the 1920s. It was like a silent film. And Kalilah's dad was there. And Kalilah's dad was stroking, cooking some stew. Yeah, I was like dead silent. And that is actually louder than noise. If you're silent during sex. Yes. It's like a deafening loud. But I was so insecure, you know, just like, just only thinking about the guy's experience and not my own. Now noises come out that are I've had to check myself recently, because I'm like, why am I making these sounds? Am I really just doing it? Because I know that, you know, it's a way to validate his experience.

Because when I'm really close to coming, truthfully, I don't make any sounds. I'm so hyper-focused on my own that I'm like, there are no sounds coming out of me. So I'm like, I think that so much of my upbringing has to do with validating the man's experience. I mean, it's wild. It's so, when you think back on it, isn't it crazy? Yes. Yes. It's bad.

I just feel like health class could be so much better. Like, I don't need to know how boners work. I need to know, like. You went, well, first of all, you went to a bad school. So, yes. They showed me how boners worked. It's a very hands-on experience. I do.

Health class was method acting acting it was also our method acting james franco taught it i wish so a white man with dreads with vo and dreads taught it unfortunately james franco taught annie sex ed is absolutely that's on a t-shirt for me did you see his admission recently where he's like so I banged a couple of my students yeah I saw that what can you do I fucked a couple of them I feel like oh wait last night I think I know okay so I was saying when I came in we weren't recording yet I was saying that I feel I felt like I had like an out of the ordinary rough set last night on stage. Not after.

It sounded like I was getting fucking punched, donkey punched by Todd. No, but I, and you know what I realized it is? It's Brad Pitt was there. He wasn't in the audience, but I was afraid he was going to walk in. And so I was very. Brad Pitt was there? Brad Pitt was at the Comedy Store last night to see Aziz's thing. So he didn't see any of our sets.

Was it that good? It was Brad Pitt see it good last night? Brad Pitt can't see me anytime. Can I just tell you, the audience was great. I tipped the audience into a weird place. When I got there, it was fire.

So I was like, I bet you everyone had a great set. And I went on like, Brad Pitt's, like I just under, under the undertone of everything was like Brad Pitt's here like how did you know that because the um when I pulled up there was like security guys and I was like who is that I always know that was I always know to ask when there's

suspicious looking thank you because now I know never asked because that would have I would have bombed I was like and I didn't get to meet him or anything he was gone by the time I was there I walked him um no he didn't see it but it or anything. He was gone by the time I was there. I walked him. He didn't see it, but it was like, I don't know, just the idea that he could walk in just made me so nervous. And then I was thinking, what would my pitch be when I met Brad Pitt? Because I've met celebrities before and they're never like- I know the pitch. Good.

I have an idea, but Todd and I were trying to like go through what the move would be. Because there is a way, but he's a different level of famous like I met Matt Dillon and Matt Dillon was my first like famous person I was chatting with because I was his waitress this was my move to him and this is what I would maybe do to to Brad Pitt like at some point I would go like is it so it's weird to be Brad Pitt right everyone's like weird around you I would start asking like questions about like the existential crisis that being a huge celebrity is. People put a lot on you. People like Matt Dillon. I was like, you've been famous since you were and he was like, since I was 14. He was like eating his eggs.

You guys. He like loved telling me about it. I just realized something. Brad Pitt, what? He's like 50. He's like, this is our chance. to invite him to our club no to fuck brad pitt well my pitch was can i walk you to your truck i was just gonna damn him a peach is that enough how lazy too can you put out like a little bit of a better effort to just sending us a fucking peach we know brad pitt okay we we don't brad was in the same building as us last night okay we know him I can't believe that that explains why security was not letting me

in one of the rooms because something I did I don't know tell me if this is douchey or not so I was like Aziz I'm sorry

I was in the other room and I was peeking in and this door guy is he taller or shorter than you I don't I'm sure he's taller joke landed

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Again, that's athleticgreens.com slash Tuesday to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Oh, my God. You guys. It's so good. This next sponsor, I actually tried it last year at a restaurant and I was like, that is the best breakfast burrito I've ever had. And it was vegan and it was made with our sponsor, Just Egg. Just Egg is a cholesterol-free plant-based egg that will give you the most decadent quiches

of your life, the fluffiest scrambles, and the easiest egg sandwiches of all time. It has about the same protein as a chicken egg and less saturated fat. Plus, Just Egg is packed with cholesterol-lowering, polyunsaturated fat. Chicken eggs wish they were this healthy. My parents have been plant-based for like four years, and I sent them Just Egg, and it blew their minds.

I feel like I always hear my mom talking about new ways she's making it. She's making breakfast wraps. She's making omelets. It's so good. Let's fly her out here to make us some Just Eggs. I want your mom to be working for me. Dude, same. Happy New Year, everyone.

May it be filled with Just Egg. Just Egg. Really good eggs. Filled with just egg. Just egg. Really good eggs. And so I was peeking in and the door guy was like, oh, you need tickets for, do you have tickets for the show? And I was like, no.

And he's like, then you need to go back to your showroom. And I just like grabbed his hand and was like, hi, I'm Esther. I'm a comedian here. And I walked away and I'm like, is that douchey of me? But I was so, I've been going to the comedy store for 13 years. No, no, no. We're allowed to be in the same room as Brad Pitt if he's there. We are, we're paid.

That's not his home. That's your home. He's visiting, there are guests in our house. When people try to give me shit, I go, you can go read. Listen, I'm not going to answer. You can just go read my name on the wall. That's the answer. That's not douchey at all.

Okay. Yeah. That person is a complete guest in your home. Also that doorman yeah should know like that's what works for you that's what i got you work for me it's so funny the comp no one at the comedy store knows who i am they just don't see you i think again it's really a hype thing you're solving all my problems you've been thinking about it all wrong they literally don't see you until they trip. You guys, the fans have spoken.

They have. Last week we asked. Can I just say I'm going to reject it already? Okay, go ahead. I don't know what it is. So last week we asked our fans to tell us what life skill we should pick up for this year, for 2022. Okay. And we have answers.

Okay. Annie, do you want me to read yours? Yes, please. You know I can't. Okay. Is that number one, learn to read? Annie, in 2022, our fans would like you to learn woodworking. Okay.

As a possibility. Okay. So here are the options. Woodworking, one day of a silent retreat. It's like you're setting me up for failure here. Learn a new language. Learn CPR. How to bake. Ooh, axe throwing. i think you could be really i would like to do all of these uh-oh um how to wrap and make a track i

feel like you already know how to do that or make it in a truck how to deep sea dive learn the structure of her local government no No. And let me see. How to budget with a spreadsheet. No, boring. Okay. Which one of those? Archery. Axe throwing, I feel like.

Axe throwing, but that seems like, you know, a little bit hacky. You can do that like at the mall now. One of them says learn the structure of local government. I think you should run for local government. Yeah. Just one up it. The only way I'm doing it is if I run. That's the only way I'm going to run.

Yeah, Esther, I want you to just run. Oh, my personal trainer told me that I don't know how to run. I thought that that was like my whole life, that that was people making fun of me. But there's a thing. Some people can't run. No, no, no, no. Your personal trainer, I'm suing your personal trainer. They've got to stop telling you that you're special. You're not special. You're a normal person that needs to build up muscles and learn things. You can learn to run, right?

Okay, this is good. You're just short. You don't have like different neck muscles than us. You don't have different ability to learn to run. This is really good for your, I know what you're doing. You're reprogramming my subconscious beliefs. You're trying to tell me that I'm okay. I, this one's actually just the truth. This isn't, I'm not, there's no, uh, ulterior motive. No, but it is like you, if you think you run weird, you will run weird. But you do run weird, but you can learn. You go to the shoe store and they help you. That's true.

Okay, wait, what life skill of these, Annie, what do you think you're going to take to? I think the idea of woodworking fascinates me. That kind of sounds cool. I like that idea. Woodworking sounds cool. Splinters. I would like to learn. I would like to learn to sing or dance really is like really scary for me. And I feel like with all the work I've done on myself, I've learned that fear blocks your

like spirit and like everything that's like. So there's something there for me. Because I'm fearful, I need to go through it. Is that what we choose then? I think it's dancing this year then. Dancing or singing. I want to do woodworking too but that's like something I would want to do I feel like you'd be really good at dancing really I mean because you were a go-go dancer yeah you I was so drunk I literally fell off the podium it was like I was crying all the

time my thing was up on my hitting me in the face but the fact that you were already a paid dancer like you already have you're already ahead of the game and you already have a mentor yeah i know you can you did teach me the the wop dance last summer and i was kind of able to make a jiggle i just can't i have to release the like my lower back region i'm unable to release it's very tight but you will be yes the thing with that i always say with dance, it's like, it's just about practice. But you, your neck doesn't have the muscles and you can't run. Your personal trainer's evil. Is that what we choose then for Annie? I think dance is it. So by the end of the year, will you show us a dance routine? Yeah. By the end, we have a whole year to do this? Yeah. It's skill i want to learn to sing too i want to take singing lessons but george has to pay nope it's dancing i want both paid for by

george esther i want to come out of his son's college fund um esther these are your options okay how to change a tire no how to leave a driveway okay fuck you i've been with esther when she's begrudgingly not changed a tire twice were you there the night it was so sad that it was like it was a night the last night i saw brody and my car i was in the car with you yeah my when it's my i actually stepped into it in the tire yeah. Yeah. Who changed it? Annie did? No, some guy. I had to remind you, remember, that they were helping you?

A group of guys at the comedy store helped put the spare on. It was really nice. Not quite fast enough for you, though, if I recall. Oh, yeah. I was really stressed. I forgot why I was stressed. No, I was stressed. I don't remember why.

But it's like, because that was the last night that we all saw brody and i was really upset because i remember he walked past while i was dealing with the tire and so i always think like i didn't say hi you know yeah anyway no i talked to him don't worry it wasn't better talking to him because he was literally like when i talked to him he literally was like my meds aren't working and i was like brody to get – I mean, he literally just said all the things. There's nothing you can do. But I'm glad you brought this up because I noticed you have some new Brody and Esther shirts that are really – Yes.

Tell me about that. Yes, I have Brody and Esther shirts. I actually think they're not available right now, so I feel bad talking about them. But I did decide to do like a limited edition because I used to host a podcast with the comedian Brody Stevens who passed away two, three ago february 2019 um and she's like i know the date i just can't do the math uh and i i just thought it was i just was like i want to do like fake merch for our old podcast and then do the send the proceeds like to i picked a charity crisis text line i'm getting uncomfortable i'm getting nervous it's good I'm fine I'm glad you're doing

it though because I'm fine you guys had such a cute like great relationship yeah funny together you were so funny on his tv show too it was like oh thanks yeah so it was good it was sweet to see that but yeah they said Broden Esther and then it said you can take her outside that's fine i remember going through your makeup bag when you lived in your car and it you're caught you're all your makeup you kept it in a plastic grocery bag and i don't you can put me in a house but i got a zoomies back i'm preparing preparing this headband because I know later on in this episode we're doing a hickey challenge and I remember what Annie said last week

about boys and headbands. Oh, she's getting me horny. Yeah, I need I need to get my Annie horny. I might need a chaser after Esther's neck. Okay, so Annie has chosen dancing.her um music and woodworking okay yeah these ones i'll name you a couple other ones um gardening how to crochet my mom buy one

bougie item for yourself she's good at that now um what about learn about plant medicine and herbs learn about ayahuasca do ayahuasca no i think you should change a flat tire that's fuck to honor brody the one you don't want oh come on and that's a life skill that will help you you're gonna have so mean i what about what what about running i want to run i'll be a runner how do you how do we prove that at the end of the year you've learned to run my trainer no we don't trust her she's untrustworthy no no she's hard as fuck on me and you would like her actually i swear i swear is this the same one that cut down your sessions to 20 minutes 30 minutes yes but that was because there was no other way she gives into pressure that's not a good thing no no

i think that if you guys saw my trainer you would she gets it she laughs at me she's like you're so dramatic like i i want you guys to meet my trainer that's like now on my oh my god we should have our trainers on i don't have yours it's just peloton i really want mine to be i want to learn how to run like a real runner okay is. Is that okay? Okay. So then I think the end goal is a marathon. Oh, fuck. How about a 5K? I'll do it with you. I'll do it with you.

Okay. Oh my God. Kalilah's going to do it a couple times. She'll come back. She'll give us Gatorade. Oh. And I'll be like, oh, you finished that many times? I promise you, I might be worse at running than Esther.

I don't look as bad running, but I'm not very good at it. At least she looks hot when she does it, bitch. If you want to get a peach DM to you, bitch, you better learn how to look hot when you run. I still look hot running, but I'm very slow and I actually don't enjoy it at all. Like when people are like, that runner's high. I never get it. I've never gotten in my life. I don't care if I'm, you know, 30 minutes in.

I just, I never feel it. I've never gotten that far. Like I always quit within 10 minutes. Okay, so. Running is just not fun. I think running is perfect, Esther. Great. I think a 5K.

Okay. I think I can do it. My dad was a runner. I kind of know the. How disappointing for him. This is. Do you guys have like a wheelchair ramp at your house for you? Oh my God.

What are my options? All right, Kalilah, we got. Plumbing. at your house for you? Oh my God. What are my options? All right, Kalilah, we got plumbing. I would love for you to learn plumbing. I feel like you do know all of these. If you knew plumbing, I would go down on you. Stand-up comedy. We have to do the ones we're afraid of the most. I think it's stand-up comedy.

I do not know how to start a fire using sticks, but I do know sort of how to do a bow drill. Don't let it breeze by stand-up comedy there, Annie. Stand-up comedy. Let's do stand-up comedy, but can we also learn to make fires in case I'm on Survivor? Let's to do a bow drill. Don't let it breeze by stand-up comedy there. Stand-up comedy. Let's do stand-up comedy. But can we also learn to make fires in case I'm on Survivor? Let's just buy a fire starter. Can we do all these?

Human being can make a fire if we have to. We all have done it when we were cavemen. You rub the sticks together. You'd be surprised how hard it is in humid weather. No, no, no. You know what? Okay. No, you're right.

And I like your energy. And you know what? We're going to do that next episode. Starting a fire, Esther. You're going to show us how caveman you are, bitch. I can't wait. No, no're right. And I like your energy. And you know what? We're going to do that next episode. Starting a fire, Esther. You're going to show us how caveman you are, bitch. I can't wait. No, no, no, no. You're right.

I'm with you. I support this. Esther, I will give you. She can't run, but she can start a fire. I will give you $5,000 if on the show you can show us the bow drill technique and start a fire. The bow drill technique? Mm-hmm. Okay, I'll look into that and get back to you.

Let's have a fire starting competition. Fine. Wait, can we have a survivor? Oh, God. Guys, I'm getting so excited. What's my skill, though? Stand up. Become an ordained minister?

No, it's stand up bitch. Wait, I've already tried stand up. It doesn't matter. But you're going to do it with us for our show, for our ratings, not for Bobby's life, okay? Do? Not to Bobby to have control over you. You guys would want to be associated with an open mic-er? Yes.

With you. Annie, you hate open mic-ers. I have fucked so many of them, though, so it's a weird relationship. It's an equal. It balances out. I think you should have to do like three minutes of material at the comedy store

at the store I'll bring you on stage you get some of my set not a chance what we'll do is flappers downstairs open mic

that's it no no no we're not taking a flappers bitch no I think no you don't get to you don't get to hide at flappers

it'll be a night where me and Annie are up at the comedy store back to back. I'll do 10 minutes. She'll do 10 minutes. And then we'll all come out. And we'll be together. No, no, no.

I do. I'm a three minute low expectation host. I introduce you. I cannot be somewhere in the mix in the middle. I cannot go after you. It's got to be like, I suck and then you guys come. You're the big surprise. Guys, I'm going to end up

singing on stage. Do you know how much worse that is than anything you can imagine happening? Wait, are we doing all of these life skills on stage? Esther has to run on stage. We bring a treadmill on. Okay, I veto that decision.

Can we just one other one maybe fine but we're putting a pin in that for later okay i have a gun what if we held her at gunpoint how to make pasta what the fuck i'm a pasta queen all right maybe three minutes three minutes three minutes is that what you said yeah three minutes okay i was you guys want to this you want to be so embarrassed of me you want to you're going to want to not associate with me i'm going to be an open micer you're going to get what you want you're going to be like oh my god we don't know her what if she like loves doing comedy and she's better than us i'm telling you guys sell everything out bobby has done this to me

and it did not work out i hated it i was not good at it so you don't care if you like it or good at it okay all right but you know what i think it's for you to overcome that fear to go through the fear okay got it got it challenge accepted okay three. And you have to run. That's so annoying. What's something that I'm – you don't really get embarrassed though. No. You get fake embarrassed and it always works. And I love – They always – Esther can really – you can like get an audience to really feel for you in a way that I've never seen anyone.

Really? When you used to – this used to kill me. When I would like lunge at you and you would pretend to be hurt and people would be like, you're hurting. I'm like, this is a bit, and she's just a better actor than me. She's just a paid actress. She's like, ah! I'm like, oh, I'm going to kill you. Now I'm really going to hurt you.

Okay, here are the rules for our 2022 Hickey Challenge. Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay, so we are judging each other on darkness and shape, and it's from a scale of one to 10. An example, an eight for darkness

and a nine for shape is a score of 17. The darker, the better. Are we trying to get a round shape? The rounder, the better. I think the bigger, the better. These rules suck, Carlos. Not rounder.

It's based on wiki how. Okay, you do it. On wiki? On Hickeypedia? Would you do it on her inner thigh? These rules suck, Carlos. Not rounder. It's based on wiki how. Okay. On wiki? On hickipedia? Would you do it on her inner thigh? What if we saw like a thing? I'll do my hickey anywhere. The only thing is you're going to hurt me.

You're both going to hurt me because you're going to be trying to make it dark. It's only for 30 seconds. It won't kill you. Highest score wins the prize I don't think rounder is better I think bigger is better okay

what do you guys think I think no one's surprised you thought bigger is better you big hoe I agree like I don't want to be so focused on shape you know what

it might be until you see them and you might just be like that one just looks beautiful so maybe it's just which one is visually cute it's like like an MMA You know what? It might be until you see them, and you might just be like, that one just looks beautiful. Okay. So maybe it's just which one is visually cute. It's like an MMA.

Like, basically, it's like- I'm just so grossed out. I have to touch my mouth. It gets nasty. I took a bath in my own field. I did shower today, but I feel like I'll taste like lotion. I also do have a pimple there,

so be careful. Why can't, like, right here is a good place. No. It needs a very vast. Esther's like, my clit is really clean. Okay, Annie here, Kalilah down here. Who's starting? Carlos, you're going to have to.

So each of us are doing it on each of us. Each of us leaves with two hickeys each. Okay. I'm brave. You guys want to suck on my neck, it's ready. It's very moisturized, but there's a pimple, so careful. Okay. I'm brave. You guys want to suck on my neck? It's ready. It's very moisturized, but there's a pimple, so careful.

Okay, I'll go first. Annie, right in front of my camera. Get down. Lower? Yeah. Okay, count. Where's the...

Oh my God, she's fucking doing it. Like... Oh my God. Oh my God. Why is she so good at this oh fuck i can hear it ew ew no why didn't i go first this moment well you can already see it how does it look i don't want one. It's too late.

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Wow. Good job, Annie. Ew. That's right. That's not a life skill I need to learn. Esther, your turn.

You got juicy, crusty lips. That'll be great. By the way no there's no improvement on the lips oh my god annie oh my god i don't think i can beat this you can i'm waiting my whole life for this moment she's nervous you're not she's like she's nervous because she has a real crush this is what's funny about it it's like if it's just friends doing a gag it's not she literally looks like she's going to a school dance look at her she's so nervous do you know how to make a hickey have you ever done it you just suck as hard as you can okay what if it gets scraped like you're gonna look like a cutter it's gonna look like someone's slit your throat with her fucking lip crust. It's okay, Donut.

You won't let me do it. She cringed. I didn't cringe. But you're gonna have to. Donut. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Oh, why did you go on all of your knees like that, Esther?

She's riding your knee while she does it. All right, she's in. Oh, my God. Oh, damn. I can hear it. Esther, you gotta suck harder than that. Suck hard. S She's in. Oh my god. Oh damn. I can hear it. You got stuck harder than that. So hard. Suck it in. I think there's spit. Look at this. Oh my goodness, Esther. Oh no, I lost. It could take another neck. And let's see how long it'll go. It may develop. Out of your work. Yeah yeah it wasn't that bad yeah she's like now i can do anything oh it's so cute we've been friends so long oh no i'm not

thinking that i am oh esther this is a very cute and tasteful one see tasteful mine's tacky no yours is like we're getting down bitch yours is like i'm like this is rough i know i should have pulled your hair a little i didn't want you to squirt though i'm just sweating you guys it's hard not to feel something really someone's on your neck and neck is a very erogenous zone for me my turn oh my god all right it's so funny because later day is going to be like so why'd you call and then he'll see and he'll walk in and he'll know oh my god i can smell the dish soap in your hair all right annie's going in i hear it already go hard annie go extra hard the blood is rushing to the skin now to create a reddish look. Oh, Esther, I feel like you're enjoying this.

Wow. By the way, Carlos is like, the blood is rushing. We know where it's not rushing. Wait, I think you left an actual lump. I did that to you too. I got the artery going. What? I'm passing away.

I have a review. your mouth felt so good but this but the sucking was too hard for me i know i wasn't asked i wasn't doing it for you i know but it is interesting like a woman's mouth is like oh have you not made out with girls i have but it's been a long time. It's fun to kiss girls. It's soft. Yeah, girls are so much softer. But I have those Asian lips from Todd. But Todd sometimes goes like this.

Like, as a joke, he'll go like, and I'm like, no, no, no. I need like juicy Asian lips. Oh, jeez. But now we need the Kalilah hickey on Esther. Yep. And me on you. Do you want it on your chest or your neck? Wherever you want. Okay. Maybe I'll just do it on your chest or on your neck? Wherever you want.

Okay, maybe I'll just do it on your chest. Esther's like, lower. Another Kalilah tattoo. Oh. Kalilah's in on the chest. Goo goo ga ga. Ma ma. How you feeling? Good, it's like hurts in a good way

oh man immediately that's good that's right mine ended up being very long on esther oh my goodness wow interesting and that's our show guys thank you so much alright Annie this is the moment we've been waiting for mine's not very dark though I feel like Annie's are dark they get darker as you go in the middle you've got to go hard

you're giving it a kiss Esther's just making out with her tits and she's twerking now donuts watching my husband's at work oh that's a really cute mine are so sad how did it feel?

nobody's surprised by that it felt good here I'll do your other tits just to match that nanny so there's a clear way to judge. It's like cut to five minutes. We're all going down on each other. Here, I'll just go lower.

Carlos is like, how does it feel? Mommy, no. Ow. Oh my God. This girl is with the fish a lot. She knows how to fish this bitch Oh, like you can feel the bruise Oh, it's not as bad as Esther

Mine looks like I'm in a domestic A domestically violent relationship You guys get a little spray tan in there? In terms of darkness, I will say that's not my forte I'm more for, I will say that's not my forte. I'm more for, I'm big on the circumference. I will say my left head still hurts. Oh, that's me.

Yeah. Esther's was a delicate. Kiss. Let me see your neck. It's very long, mine. That was fun. I won't lie. I'm not shy.

You know, we'll have to redo this when Jessie Curson comes back on. Just the gayest episode ever. I think we should decide. Was that a flirtier, like hotter episode than when fucking Jessica Curson was on? Okay, I think we need to pick a winner. It pains me to say this, but I actually think it's pretty obvious that the winner is Annie. I agree. Because she fucking went in and she sucked so hard yeah it's so sore and they look like you just fucked a girl who used to go go dance professionally you can smell the glitter

yeah i think you're this is a professional hickey annie obviously won yeah all right we have a prize. Oh, my goodness. Carlos, what's your judgment on this? Yeah, you're the judge. I think Annie won. Yes. Why?

Just because the passion, the darkness. I'm for darkness. The passion. And yeah, I just think she won. Yeah. Okay. No one is disagreeing. Also, I didn't think I was going to be judging this considering you guys are giving each other hickeys.

So it's like you guys should judge each other. We need the male gaze. Okay. Then you win. The prize is coming from you. I have a feeling no one's going to be jealous of this prize. Oh, wait a second. And you were wrong.

Wow. Guys, this is actually crazy. Would you have not judged a little harsher? You gave that. You handed that to me. I think that if there is only one Skims thing for one of us, that this podcast is going to end today. It's so cute. It's one of those presents too.

I wouldn't have bought it for myself, which makes it even better. Oh my God. Does that mean you're only a little into it? No, it means I really like it. It's like why you get a stylist? Because they grab you the thing you wouldn't get. Damn it. Should have tried harder.

I know. I thought I was going to get like a dollar store thing I have to throw out. I'm traumatized by having a mother with an eBay drop-off store. What? We got it nice and small. It's weird he thought Esther was going to win.

It's like. He thought Esther was going to win. For real. It's like a slutty, like a slutty. Yes. Oh, my God. It's almost like the Tesla hat's been erased. No more joke gifts. We're getting real presents now. Oh, my God.

I'm so happy. This came out of all of our money, too, and she's so'm gonna try harder next time that's all i know what's our next challenge we all want gifts now who can come who can come with their face not covered wait if we who can come the i might actually win that we're not doing that we could do not i think we should do things that border on sexual, but it's more the awkwardness and discomfort. As long as I'm facing a wall, I can cum real fast. If we, you have to Blair Witch. Oh my gosh.

She said Blair Witch cummer. Oh boy. Kalilah's masturbating again. She's just in the corner. I can't believe I put this headband on and didn't win. It is. You know what it is with the boys though? It's a headband like this. Yeah. Oh, the real headband. It's the hairline maybe is what it is with the boys though it's a headband like this yeah oh the real it's

got a pull it's the hairline maybe is yeah like oh you know what i'm talking about i do because i used to date a guy that wouldn't sometimes it's it's a thing i want to say like my emotional thing wants to be like if you date girls do not wear a headband as a man but then my my body and my vagina is like just never take that it's. It's young. It's so hot. It's very young and athletic of a guy. Yes. Anyway, okay, wait. So I think the next thing we should do is we should, I think there needs to be a handcuffing

situation and maybe a feather. Like a tickling competition? Yeah. There's a really dark documentary about that. It's so dark and it's so good. What's so dark about it? It actually has nothing to do with tickling it has more to do with predatory they like they hire these guys to get tickled so they

like show up and they don't think but it's like being tickled such a true invasion yeah that's why handcuffing you to a chair and tickling you is really wait i told you guys when i went to leather fest and guys got zipped up in a body bag and just had their balls out. If they can do it, we can do it. We have to come up with something else. I never understood the idea of... There's skims involved.

We'll come up with something else. I never understood the idea of crotchless panties. You're not into it. I'm not into that. No, no, no. If I'm not wearing underwear, I don't want to wear underwear. Yeah.

The only reason I'm wearing underwear is to seal the hole. Well, I'm trying to think of where, how I would feel if I were a guy and I wouldn't be into crotchless panties either. Underwear is a discharge catcher. Yeah, it is. That's all it is, guys. I swear.

There's a reason why I have to wear it at night when I sleep. Keeps it in there tucked. Keeps everything. Yeah. It's just so the shit doesn't get on the. Unsnagged. Yeah. For those with a snaggle puss, I'm not going to say what I am, but...

We should sell underwear and call them, be like, discharge catchers. A hundred percent. Wait, would you sell underwear? Legit, we should sell underwear right now. Yeah. That's our next merch right now. But use underwear? Oh.

No! That's what I meant. Discharge catchers. We'll be the first podcast. Would you sell your own underwear like what's your price it's high me too

mine's very high but I think that with the right price I would absolutely sell because it's just what's it to me I just gotta make sure it was a

clean eating day you know I don't want there to be a little extra chocolate in the back I think no the higher

if it's my post workout underwear the price is even higher they want yeah they want it stinky yeah you want it stinky you gotta pay good luck or good good on you if you want it stinky from esther because i mean that that girl from that one show was not 90 day fiance but yeah the fart girl yeah the fart girl should we sell our farts i cannot produce that much as much as she did oh my god such a brag i can't fart no no fucking bitch i can't grow pussy hair or fart did you know how much farts she was selling it got so bad that she had to go to the er because she thought she was having a heart attack but was she taking such a fart

yeah she was eating beans she was eating everything that would cause flatulence and i cannot do that i just love that she had like probably a boyfriend with her that was just like she's bringing in a lot of money but uh yeah she was bringing like 100k like a month right just on her farts should we get a should we get a gauge for what our dirt what a dirty panty would go for yes what would you guys pay and this is dead serious okay for the right price you're getting them yeah because it's like they're just gonna go in the wash i might as well just mail them to you or in the trash i'm pretty rich now once in the trash i mean it is something that no other podcast, none of the male comedy podcasts

can do. Well, they're too busy DMing us. They should just watch the show. Oh, by the way, I saw Theo last night and I saw Tim Dillon and I go, Theo, you should, so should you. And then Theo's like, we should do it together. That'd be fun. Tim Dillon and Theo. Oh, I would love both of them on. Thank you for telling them. We need to get them on here. You know what my dream would be? If I would have Tim Dillon be my auctioneer for my dirty panties.

Oh, yeah. We can have him on the dirty panty episode. Because he'll be really disgusted. Do a live show, right? Do a live stream show one day of all of us. And we do a live auction. Should we call him right now and ask him if he would do that? Hello? Hey, I have a question for you. of all of us and we do a live auction. Should we call him right now and ask him if you would do that? Hello.

Hey. I have a question for you. Are you available to answer? We're on the podcast. We're on my podcast. I'm answering right now. What's going on? Okay.

So we're on the podcast. Yeah, we're on the podcast. We were wondering if you would, we're trying to see how much underwear or how much money we could get for our dirty underwear. We're wondering if you would be the auctioneer for that. Who? You and who? Esther and Kalilah. Esther's already comes pre-dirtied.

Kalilah and I would have to just choose to not be. Auctioneer like, like, like, like who's like, like, I don't understand. Like a, like a Sotheby's auction? Yes, like a Sotheby's. Yeah, exactly. Like a Sotheby's auction? Yes, like a Sotheby's. Yeah, exactly like a Sotheby's auction. The same prices. We want it to be like really... We want to make Tim Dillon Patreon money off of underwear.

Yeah, I mean, you know, I'll do anything, but it's, you know, it's 80K. 80K is the flat rate or percentage? It's literally the rate for my for any of my time right now is 75 000 oh we've gone down 5 000 yeah no it's 75 and you ladies i like i'll do it for like 60 you know we could be uh you'd be reasonable we're expecting large numbers so that's not out of the question all right well i mean listen it's something i'm open to we love it also

what does he think tim what do you think of us selling our dirty underwear i mean i find all women repulsive there's a huge market for things like that i've done so much in my life to not ever do these things but you know if it's for the podcast yeah i mean you gotta do what you gotta do you know you gotta do what you got that makes it sound really sad we're doing tim what do you think of us you know do you think we're pathetic that we want to sell our underwear no i don't think so at all i think it's empowering i like esther i you know what i'm seeing in esther's eyes she wants you to like really yell at her. Esther wants you to come in here and really demean her.

She's a sick, sick, sick company. Tim, will you degrade me? Esther, no, I'm not going to degrade you. She's a very sweet girl. I've met her like twice. She's evil. You can tell you've only met her twice. She's evil.

Nice girl. I don't know. Oh, no, you're breaking up. I bet it was such a good insult. He might have said something mean. What did he say? We can't hear you, but I want to thank you for the good time last night. I'm in the hills.

I'm rich. I'm sorry. I know. I know. That's so funny. Oh, the hills, the dead zone. That's where rich people live. You know what's so funny. Oh, the hills, the dead zone. That's where rich people live. You know what's so weird?

It's like just sign a do not resuscitate to if you live in the hills. Like an ambulance ain't getting up there. We need a landline. Landline. That's why you need a landline. You're dead. You're going to die. Yeah.

They can't get up those little streets. That's true. I can't believe you just said that. I'm doing, for Sleepover by Esther, I'm doing hoodies that say do not resuscitate. Oh. I can't believe you just that's a good idea dnr i like how you're like i gotta start making them funny this is good this is happening in your whole life you're going maybe i'll try being funny

you've been coasting on trying really hard not to be funny and you're doing it in stand-up you're doing it in your merch i love it do not resuscitate so good i can't believe you just said that what did we learn today? We learned that Tim Dillon is our Sotheby's auctioneer. Wow. He's in. He's the perfect one because he's repulsed by our dirty underwear. And then you know what?

He can also be very, very specific in the description. Like, you know, right along the gooch line, we have a mysterious white spot here. I love that anything's going to be white in the underwear. There ain't going to be nothing white in my undies. We all have new life skills. Annie's the biggest whore in terms of sucking on necks. Profesh. And I'm so cute. And she got

skims for it, which she deserves. But I am jealous. And anything else? Tim Dillon and Theo Vaughn are gonna be on this podcast. I'm manifesting. Save your pretty panties, boys. Our panties are coming.

I want to have Mark on too. I want to have a zinger off with Mark Norman. Love it. Let's do it. We'll see you guys next week. And also, 2022 goals. We want to get to 200K subscribers. So please subscribe to this channel if you haven't yet.

Within the month. We want this get to 200k subscribers. So please subscribe to this channel if you haven't yet. Within the month. We want this in the month. We want to show the men in comedy that our dirty panties are more important than their jokes. Fucking subscribe.