Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - The Hottest Comics & The Snack That Broke Us

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: Sakara - Get 20% off your first order when they go to https://sakara.com/trashtuesday or enter code TRASHTUESDAY at checkoutBetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesdayManscaped - Get 20% off + free shipping at http://www.manscaped.com with the code TRASH Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsTrash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.comOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Annie’s Post Colonic Update4:05 Esther’s Chef Pants That Fit Carlos6:49 Kim Kardashian Products8:45 Brody’s Hot Body & Hot Baseball Player Bods13:18 Our Top Hottest Comics24:17 Fan Question - Overlooking Something Wrong in Past Relationships 32:47 Fan Question - If We Had To Give Each Other Tattoos41:15 Fan Question - Dating Around Protocol47:13 A Frightening Snack53:35 The Mia Khalifa Rebrand & Those Who Shame Our Sexual Past1:01:05 Fan Question - What Frozen Food Item Are You1:03:20 Our Favorite Ice Cream Flavors Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende

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June 18th, West Nyack in New York, 24th through 25th of June. Then I'll be in Austin, Texas, August 4th through 6th, Springfield, Missouri, August 19th through 20th. I'm going to be in after that. Pittsburgh, Tempe Improv, Coluso Casino, Kansas City, Missouri, Irvine. A bunch of other dates are on Annie Letterman dot com slash shows.

This Sunday, I'll be in Denver at Comedy Works, the 29th, I believe. And then I have rescheduled Austin and D.C. You can get tickets at Estherheronice.com. I can't wait to see you guys, and as always, check out my clothing line, sleepoverbyester.com. And if you want any of these updates to your phone, text me 847-648-9098 to always be the first one to know about all this nonsense. you guys welcome to the show it's annie and i for maybe about five more minutes before before you see someone hoist themselves a little something come and try to climb up in their chair okay so tell me post second colonic the are you feeling a little lighter on your feet i feel

lighter on my feet i'm ready to fight oh i'm ready to knock some people out no no i feel great i feel so good also the hormones are out of my system i feel like i've been exercised a demon has come out of my body i didn't realize how rough i was feeling until now i'm not feeling that way i was like i feel a little bad honestly ann, Annie, I'm not going to lie. Between yesterday and today, it looks like you've lost 10 pounds. I'm not kidding. I think I have. And there's still a turd in here.

It's not gone yet. Well, also, all of the egg shit that I did and the TMJ stuff I'm doing, they had me on this strict diet. So all of that was just all hormones. Yeah. So you were just bloated, but you actually weren't gaining weight. Because you look i watch me in a week see what happens in a week i'm gonna look you're gonna be like ester looks fat next to her oh ester did you gain weight you fat pig can we just tell her that anyways when she gets here no oh my god we're losing her she's disappearing on us she's almost just she's so petite. She's so small.

I don't know if I want to release this into the world, but I did start working with a shaman, a new shaman. Well, it's the same shaman, but we're starting to do deeper work. And I had to like boil a bunch of different herbs and stuff and put them in a bath. Can I ask what herbs you're using just to make sure? There's a bunch of different. Little baby.

Wow, late. So rude. We have to because I have a hard out i'm the ester of the day i was told to come at 12 30 yeah it was 12 30 we haven't said anything too important we did actually what did i miss we talked shit on you the whole time any any and i were contemplating because you're so tiny and petite if we should what did call you a fat pig well the reason we would call you a fat pig is because i'm now getting so skinny that you're starting to look a little bit oh my god you fucking bitch you're starting to look a little bit i'm so sorry but i'm i lost 10 pounds in one day so i'm so confused i was told 12 there i'm i just want the audience know i'm here on time i've been here all the time too they've always fucked it up that's where we literally started

a minute and a half ago no i just have a i just have to annie you know that people you talk about shamans so much i know but here's the thing with ayahuasca shamans this guy's not an ayahuasca shaman he's done ayahuasca and stuff but he doesn't promote it but my ayahuasca shaman they'll find you it's weird ayahuasca is like that you can't you can't like seek them out well you can kind of seek them out but you can't have mine my boy is special you hear that person i mean you too could esther i love those pants are they the cookman yeah yes which i don't even know what does chef pants mean but they're so great i i imagine they're so great.

I imagine they're just hearty pants. When you put them on, your pussy goes. Or your asshole. What's amazing about these pants is that Carlos and I are the same size. So it's like, okay, if he orders one color, I can try them on and see if I want them. It's just Carlos is a man. It's just so weird. And I'm a very small girl.

You're the smallest of all girls I've ever seen oh but that you finally have what I have with Bobby yeah I mean we don't live together we're not dating but we we are like best friends you guys share underwear no we don't share underwear then you're not doing it right I'm ew do not share underwear with him even though Bobby did like the smell of Carlos's underwear. He really did, didn't he? They had a thing. Wait, what? That it was real.

I believe that. Like you're flirting with him, I know, is to take back the night because I think the affair is there. It's just not with me. It's with Bobby. It's just now. And then me and you. Oh, yeah. I mean, if we wanted.

Only if we wanted. If that was like something that made sense at the time. How could those titties be so like if that was like something that made sense how could those titties be so like high and tight like that thank you esther your titties look heavy today thank you guys they're really are you premenstrual possibly oh what does that mean oh no nothing doesn't mean that don't worry i was gonna say earlier is it weird to be the same size as both carlos and your miscarriage i waited it out and it didn't make it better no the like you've been waiting to make miscarriage jokes for a year and now the floodgates are open by the way they are open i'm fully receptive well did you see someone said that we should make shirts that say keep calm and miscarry on and give proceeds to like Planned Parenthood or something?

Yes. Let's do that. That's pretty smart. Some of the proceeds. Some go to Esther. No, the Trash Tuesday fund. Imagine if Annie and I were making money off your miscarriage. Listen, I've been waiting for a year.

This has been. Like dream come true. Are you kidding? Wait, now I'm like should we start a trash Tuesday charity that where we donate to organizations that are trash Tuesday friendly but I'm like what is it but then we also kind of get a beach house don't you think all charities like someone ends up with like a sick house well all charities are a scam I'm like pretty sure I think you only have to give like what is it two or ten percent it's like something so low well because yeah it's like you can like create jobs for people because

then they just get paid off of the charity money like it's just a whole thing i don't know look at my socks skin are those skins yes baby wow i think the people the things that people hate about us the most are that we like Kim Kardashian and that we Like abortions, maybe I don't know and some people say Kim Kardashian is an abortion, which we would never say It's like it does kind of like there's like a One of those circle Venn diagram a Venn diagram I see the pros and cons of having someone like Kim Kardashian in the zeitgeist. Is that her ass? Yeah of having someone like Kim Kardashian in the zeitgeist. Is that her ass? Yeah. Are you washing it?

But I see the pros and cons. I feel so neutral in either way about her, but her products are great. That's exactly how I feel. I don't like her or dislike her. I don't have, I feel like, I think I was very against the Kardashians in the beginning because I'm a little bit of a hippie,

even though I like the spray tans and stuff. And I don don't judge I try not to judge people and what they choose and stuff but I think for what I think the human experience is is to like accept your flaws and love yourself for who you are and then like they just reshaped butts and then stopped shaping them like that after these girls went and got like these giant asses. Now their asses are getting smaller. I'm like, oh boy, there's a lot of big bootied girls getting two seats on the plane now. Do you know that I had to spend triple the amount to remove my implants than what I paid for them? Are you, what? I paid $8,000 for my implants and I paid $24,000 to get them removed.

That's not, it doesn't come with. Did you get them in the Philippines? No. You guys. Did you pay in shells or something i had to repair my colila's currency is seashells oh that would be so wait is that how george pays you and he does also should we bring the conch shell necklaces back are they already back they've been back the puka shells oh but they kind of came oh you are a surfer though you're like i'm not a surfer i'm sorry you know how to surf you surf the bottom of the ocean with a spear and you murder fish you know how to surf a little bit if you know how to surf you're a surfer that's by the way i've gotten up twice

still not a surfer exactly thank you will you do it again you want to know why i hate it yes and i vehemently hate it and i'm like kind of disgusted with people like no man it's the best hang ten fuck you um hang yourself um listen okay our friend did that so it's how we come you would have been a good surfer had that big chest don't even get me started on how hot his body was there was a summer where all I could think about was his athletic body. It's so sad that Carlos has been trying, trying, trying. He'll never have Brody's body. All he'll have is that bald, bald head.

Oh, my God. The worst part of Brody. Brody had a great stature. Yes, I will co-sign. Like, imagine being, like, a young lady in comedy, and you're surrounded by all these, like, fat slobs. And then Brody, who's obviously so mentally ill and unstable but it's like i hiked with him every day and would obviously mentally ill i would hike with

you every day i would just stare at that body and i'd be like i'm confused and he had the salt and pepper and he was so fat his legs were so long dude so do you get that he was hot oh brody was attractive do you yes yes i'm a baseball player he's a baseball player yeah athlete i i would say i've dated five baseball players so like i'm a cleat chaser you know that i famously they car the dugout because they dug her out i believe i have a strong stance that baseball players are the hottest of all athletes yeah they have like those leg muscles thick legs yeah they're just i'm getting i'm getting straight getting real straight on my straight side it's breaking my heart your tits are lifting they're getting higher and higher and higher look at that why is it what's that split the 19 waiting for esther to come grab

those balls i think i know why, because they're a little bit, I'm not, this is not in a bad way, a little bit sloppier. Like you can be a thick baseball player. Yeah. You don't have to be the super ultra fit. That's right.

They're tall and their asses are very round. Yes. They're thicker. Well, you can be. I don't think they're that thick. Some of them are. I find them to not be thick.

Look at that ass. Okay. That's like a little much for me. That's a tabletop. But that's a little Kim K. Esther, that looks like the Kim Kardashian birthed the internet picture, but you're the glass.

Make it someone, make it. It's so weird for me to hear you have attraction to a comedian because I always view you as someone that views all male comics is like so unattractive except the hideous ones i dated oh yeah never mind is this a dangerous game to play should we rank our top three hottest wait wait i wanted to say i want to say like there's this thing called chuckle fuckers i don't know if people at home know about them i think they do they're that really, really like to fuck comics, and they will do anything to get on those knees and suck those microphones.

No judgments. No, no, no. We love you. Please take the dick heat off us. I don't like to go down to the open mics no more. But wait, what was I going to say about them? I don't know, but you look hot today. Super hot.

You in the glasses and like, and that side. It's because I lost 40 pounds getting the shit sucked out of my ass. You really did? No, you didn't. I'm not promoting it as a weight loss thing. I literally was bloated from my, and the hormones are getting out of my system. It's the glasses and the eye makeup. I know.

Isn't it cute how I started doing my eye makeup? I'm low-key trying to copy you. Do you want to know what the look is? Yes. It's called Me-phoria. Annie, I love it. I would put crystals on, but it takes too long. Well, wait.

What were you going to say about- And to remind everyone, she doesn't have a uterus. She has a meterus. I have a meterus, which sounds meaty. But you know what? Yeah, I do have a meaty uterus. A meterus. Meterus, yeah.

It's a meter of- An eiderus. Us. Okay. yeah it's a meter of an idus um okay so there what there's a there are some comedians that are a little newer in the game that are kind of their hybrid chuckle fucker and comic like open mic is it girls yes okay and one of them is a champion of the cock okay she's gotten all the cocks and we played a game called pin the cock on the comic and she would gotten all the cocks and we played a game called pin the cock on the comic and she would show me the dick pic and i would try to guess which comedian it was

shut up and some of our friends of the show are all there wait who enemies of the show who's the girl do we know her she's like a suicide girl no but she does like you know like sex stuff online so cool i love that she shared that game but it's the funniest game in the world but but also the top hottest comics it's just three you're three i find none of i find them all physically disgusting now because i kind of like got that out of my system um but i go on funny so yeah i like i haven't thought about that in so long i have no sense of who's hot it's just hard to because one of my favorite comedians. Play the game, you guys. Okay, okay.

Come on. One time I went on the road with one of my favorite comedians who I thought I might have like a daddy thing with. And his teeth were so dirty that I was like, this is a comic. Oh, that's a. Like cruddy, like teeth where it was just like, oh, you're a comic. I don't like white things here. The.

No, it's Jewish old man, like white. Alex Edelman. I think it's everyone. I think if i didn't take mine out i'd also have it but it's no there's like a it's a saliva type person it really is heavily associated for me with jewish men and myself really yeah i'm gonna claim this the white that you're a jewish man finally i mean yeah like who's a hot hottie i'll name you my three is bobby lee one of them yes yes there's yeah bobby's the best i honestly when i first heard his voice you know bobby is a smaller guy a short king but his voice is really booming the way he talks his style his energy impeccable actually i'm like oh my god bobby's energy is so fucking hot but are you guys into like an amir k do you like the long hair yeah amir k is good looking i love him i love amir

also i love him he's a boat guy doesn't he live in a boat does he i think so or owns a boat dude amir k is very attractive i like a long hair vibe like a i like the hat he also we went on like a positivity kick at the same time. We kind of like flipped our scripts. And then I got in a fight with him. He was like, dude, you're supposed to be positive. And I was like, oh yeah. I got mad.

We were like bumping each other on a show. One time we were both opening in La Jolla at the comedy store together. And we shared a room in the condo. And I'll never forget. I woke up early and I was in the bed next to him. And he looked over at me and I was eating my Luna bar and I was like, breakfast in bed. And he just always makes fun of me for that. That was like our sleepover moment.

I love him. Oh, I thought you were telling us the day Brody passed away. That's why he killed himself. He rolled over. Oh, God. My second is controversial next to Bobby. Okay. And I just find him to be, I have I like the brooding kind

of like a fuck this life fuck everyone and that's Mark Maron wait no Mark honestly maybe there's a hair situation I don't know what it is no there's something so weird and Mark okay we love okay Lynn his dearly departed beautiful gorgeous, gorgeous, absolutely amazing, talented, unbelievable. Angel. Wonderful person. Just everything. We used to talk in the green room, like, why is he getting, like, hot? He's so mad.

Why is he getting hotter? There was this one episode he did of, I forget the title of the show. But he did it with Emily Redikowski. Did you see that? No. And they had, like, a sex scene and everything. So funny. And I could not unsee

that and i cannot look at marin wait what is that in i need to watch that it's a show it was a show on netflix um it was it was out of chicago um oh i know i i think i know what it is what is it called i forget not was it glow no it wasn't i love him on glow love him i feel like it was a joe sw Swanberg show. He's definitely like a daddy issue thing, though. I don't know if I see him as a daddy, though. I just like his energy of like. You know, what's funny is that after I did The Road with him this year a little bit,

I was telling Carlos, I'm like, I think Maren is like a good expander for you. Because like, I just I'm like, I could see you being very Maren like at 50. Like I was like trying to connect them as like a good expander for you because like I just I'm like I could see you being very Marin like at 50. Like I was like trying to connect them as like a good pal. Yes, because they're both skinny men. They're both like on their own. There's something there. Okay. I just want to say I just want to put I want to just give you one of the tasks that Carlos does.

And I want you to imagine Mark Marin. Carlos goes to Erewhon and grabs his bananas. Can you imagine Mark Maron doing it. Carlos goes to Erewhon and grabs his bananas. Can you imagine Mark Maron going to Erewhon and grabbing bananas? Carlos is working up towards his marriage. He like married another comic.

He dated a bunch of comics. Like you can just see he knows how to get like female comedians. He knows how to get He can insult you the right amount. Pete, can you put in

Emily Ratajkowski and Mark Maron? Good luck spelling that it's there's a j before the k believe it or not it's rataj and then kowski he's definitely a male comic that it talks to females and isn't like you know you know there's certain guys that you just they don't want anything to do with you but and he's always been like a good advice giver one time one time i hugged him like i hadn't seen him why he goes you still with your boyfriend i go yeah and he's always been like a good advice giver. One time I hugged him. Like I hadn't seen him in a while. He goes, you still with your boyfriend? I go, yeah, and he's younger than me.

Look at that. Look at that. That's them. Whoa. And the show easy. That is interesting. Yeah, she is a blonde on the show. That is pornographic for me personally.

Wow. I wouldn't like do it though. I don't actually have these feelings, but I can understand. No, no, no. No, no. I want to just be. Alternate reality, guys. By the way, this is like the worst.

If this was the reverse and guys were talking about the hottest, which they do all the time. So it's fine. Do they? I didn't get the Google alerts. Can we. Lila, who else is hot? Those are my three. Oh, I'm sorry.

My number three is known to all, which is Jamar Neighbors. Oh, yeah. Look at Greg Fitzsimmons. Wow. Oh, my God. I thought, I think Mark's cute right here. I think Greg Fitzsimmons in this is the hottest male comic. Yeah.

Wow, that doesn't even look like him. Because he has hair. Oh. Greg Fitzsimmons is my number one favorite guy i think he's a great guy he's always funny he's not a piece of shit he's a good family guy he's like he's just so funny and so cool he's always fun to be around he never takes things personally he's great amir k is definitely on my list because he's so funny he's fun he's looking. Like he's definitely on my list. Number two. Jamar's too.

Like Jamar is like. Jamar is a crazy person. He's a crazy person. He's our mentally ill friend. Yeah, but I think. They gave him the Brody spot. Okay. Like Jamar is like so.

Jamar's wearing more hair pieces than me. Okay. Have I told you guys a story about how we did a student film together like 13 years ago? And he was walking me down the aisle and he was supposed to like hand me off. And he literally just unscripted dipped me and gave me a big kiss. Oh, that's right. And because it's Jamar and we've been friends, I was just like, this is hilarious. I love you.

Okay. That just reminded me of one of the hottest male comics. He did pass away. Can you look up Kevin Burnett? Kevin Burnett was drop dead gorgeous. And because we did a scene where we had to make out in something. You did? Uh-huh. hottest male comics he did pass away can you look up kevin barnett kevin barnett is was dropped at gorgeous and because we did a scene where we had to make out in something you did uh-huh he was i didn't know him well but he was on an episode the episode of adam divine house party with me he's cute so hot his like last picture was so weird and epic. It was so eerie. How good it's like him in Mexico and the poncho.

Yeah. I was like, Oh my God. Right. Yes. Who else is hot? I don't know. Look at that.

I used to always make fun of him because his brother, Corey, like works out a lot. Kevin's hotter than him, but I always would be like, Corey's hotter than you. I would hurt him. Oh,

I had fun with him once we would, we did like a, we went to the comedy central. There was comedy fest in New York and we went to the Comedy Central party. And they were sponsored by Klondike bars, so they had all these, like, freezer-full Klondike bars. And then me and Josh Rabinowitz, his friend, started just slapping. Every time he was about to take a bite, we slapped it out of his hand

to the point where there were none left. Like, we made sure every – and now I'm like, well, now that he's dead, it's not as funny, but it was funny. Do we have any questions, Pete, from fans this week? Yes. Oh, also let's start Photoshopping us babies. We should get some fun Photoshops. I'm so grateful for BetterHelp.

Yeah. I feel like we BetterHelped our lives. Yeah, this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy because we all have struggles, all of us. Yeah, Esther just getting on the chair, honestly. Yeah, and getting off without ants crawling all over me is hard sometimes. Also, we each had a PTSD flare-up on this episode. Did we?

Oh, we sure did. It's actually a Pete-TSD flare-up on this episode did we we sure did it's actually a pete tsd flare-up sorry so guilty no it's fine but it was i felt good about it and i will be talking to my better help therapist about it though but okay you guys better help is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to. And it's so much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. I love the journal feature. These past couple weeks have been a little bit overwhelming for all of us, wouldn't you say? And that journal feature has been maxed out by me. I am writing down my thoughts, you guys. Yeah, people have,

you know, speaking of thoughts, people have so many thoughts and opinions out there about our experiences with our bodies. Try BetterHelp instead. Yeah. Every time you're about to comment something mean, instead, talk to your therapist at BetterHelp. Because this podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. And Trash Tuesday listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Trash Tuesday. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P.com slash Trash Tuesday. Let's talk about Manscaped. You guys, they just relaunched the Ultra Smooth Package. It's back, baby.

Yes, baby. And look, guys, we don't mind hair. We just want you to show us you care a little bit by cleaning out certain areas. I know you like to think of us as kitties but we don't want to be coughing up hair balls. They're now bringing back your new favorite razor so you can be set and trimmed front to back this is the durable yet sensitive razor that's perfect for him and her. I would actually do back to front, Esther, if I was you. Okay, thank you so much. We are so excited to offer you guys a discount from Manscaped. You can get 20% off plus free shipping at manscaped.com with the code trash. So like Esther said, they've just relaunched an ultra smooth package. And in that ultra smooth

package is your handy lawnmower 4.0 the crop exfoliator the crop gel and the crop shave the crop shaver which was designed for shaving the groin area with confidence three precision blades include extra wide lubricating strips and a pivoting head for the ultimate groin grooming they said lubricating and pivoting head about to slide off my chair. You guys can get 20% off plus free shipping with the code trash at manscaped.com. That's 20% plus free shipping with the code trash at manscaped.com. Get smooth with the relaunched ultra smooth package from your friends at Manscaped. Hey guys, this is Jessica. So my question is, thinking back on past relationships, was there something about an ex or something that they did that was just so weird and bizarre, but you just looked past it because you just really wanted that relationship to work out?

For example, I dated a guy who genuinely thought he was a werewolf. And we dated for like two years. So, I mean, I don't know what that says about me. But yeah, that's my question. Says you dated Marc Maron. What? Wait, that is so weird that she was okay with him thinking he's a werewolf. I mean, how narcissistic do you have to be to think you're a werewolf? That is narcissistic.

You know what else is narcissistic you know what else is narcissistic i and i actually love travis barker but i heard in an interview recently that he was like i always knew i would be in a plane crash and i'm like everyone thinks at one point also then you made the plane crash way to go like there are people being like i was supposed to die by 25 i'm like remember when trump got elected people were like i was supposed to die by 25 people remember when trump got elected people were like i knew he was gonna get elected it's like oh so you okay but you guys realize these are all people who probably believe in manifestation stuff that you love well i was gonna say if he was like talking or walking around saying he was gonna his plane was gonna crash but

my manifestation is not just like oh i'm making'm making up a concept. It's more like I want to start this podcast, so I'm going to do it. I think your idea of manifestation is more like intention setting, goal setting. Yes, that's right. And then, yeah, like I – but knowing something is going to happen, that I think kind of leans more towards a messiah complex where thinking you are put on this earth to be this greater being and it's like no you're just a human yeah be human you're a little animal yeah i have a friend that always he's like a little you know cuckoo but he's always like he's like i always imagine myself like

walking like with all these people following me like into the woods i was always like were you in a hospital camp like okay it's also like just work on yourself well that's how cults start it's this self-belief that you are you know above a certain you know above us peasants you know what i mean like a that is narcissism in terms of overlooking something in a relationship because you like the person, I guess for me, this is a very me answer. But when I started dating Tony Hinchcliffe, he didn't have a bank account and he was 25 years old. And I was like, this is insane.

Oh, I thought you were just saying overlooking that he was Tony Hinchcliffe. And I took him to chase bank on sunset boulevard and i said this man does not have a bank account they're like did they arrest him and i've gone to a fight with them i'm like how is he supposed to get a bank account if you guys won't give him one and i like had to talk with their ear off they were like listen little kid must look so little at that point oh my god 14 at best screaming at them and they gave him a bank account did they give you like a stool or like an apple box to step on i'll never forget that and it's funny like yeah he had and but i'm just i'm proud of myself that i committed to him and i

helped him get the bank account and look at him now way richer than you so yeah maybe i should have like i yeah i should his cowboy hat costs more than your whole outfit. I believe that. What about you, Annie? I dated a rollerblader for three full years. Oh, that's right. And he would like, but you don't understand. It wasn't like, it wasn't, it got in the way of our lives.

Like we would like, he would be staring into playgrounds. I was like, you look like a pedophile. He would be staring into playgrounds. I was like, you look like a pedophile. He's like, no, I just want to slice that staircase or whatever. I don't know what the words were. But I was like, it was just so. So you weren't into it when you started.

It wasn't like, oh, it's kind of hot. He was kind of good at it. But he would come home. He would break his phone. He would come home crying. He just cried a lot. Honestly, there was a lot of weeping and just it was he was just a weak boy so he'd come home all broken up i'm like everything clicked like you know how my jaw clicks like his knee would click i'm like why

does your knee have tmj did he wear all the appropriate embarrassing dorky oh no cool guys don't do that um i would by the way just want to throw this out there it would be a really huge fantasy of mine to rollerblade sometime i haven't since i was little so if anyone wants to gladly i have a pair of rollerblades i think i bought some and i haven't opened them yet but i would you know what i like with you guys i like the idea of you rollerblading is literally that's just pushing you you're gonna go like this we should we have to do trash tuesday excursions oh yeah let's rollerblade is there like a rollerblading rink like i want to learn more like skating rink i want to learn how to hold my breath longer too yes i can take you guys to the pool we got to teach astor how to swim

um you guys i dated a really shitty artist who thought he was a great artist that's so bad and he would really really he was just had very uh poor self-awareness of how shitty he was he was hot though he was really hot and i couldn't really say anything wow that's amazing oh my god keep at it and he wanted this career as an artist and soon after that i was like there's just no way to go there's nowhere to go from here it's really hard when you don't believe in the person you're with like that is just not gonna work like i've i've had little flings with people that i was like no i can't i don't want to be embarrassed of you like if we're dating I don't want to be like you have to feel so proud and supportive like that and it's not right either

to feign support like in that situation for me I was not even being like you know I wasn't being honest I was like oh that's amazing that's amazing like I said but I didn't feel that way because I wouldn't want that like I wouldn't want to be with someone that didn't support and truly believe what i'm like now i'm like dave well i'm remembering the time he told me that i should look into becoming a paralegal wait that's not bad advice paraplegic he said you barely walk just do it you really do not listen i'm shifting all of your trauma. Genuinely, Esther, I think you would have made a great lawyer.

Paraplegic. Paraplegic lawyer. Oh my God. You rolling into court? Imagine as a British barrister where she has to wear the hair on top of it too. Esther, somebody, can you guys create that art?

That was a really good question that really i had to dig deep there i know um also okay so that same rollerblader guy kept saying he wanted to do comedy but he was not a funny man oh no it was like he were you doing comedy at this time yes i had a tv show on e i had my show everything he. He just fancied himself. And he would be like, I remember the joke he wanted to do was about washing his cat. I was like, I want you dead. Every time he would try to talk about it, I would go in. I would go, I'm making a smoothie.

I can't hear you. And I would just push the grinder. There'd be no food in there. I would just push it. I'd be like, I am making a smoothie. And I felt so bad because if he, like, to be a comedian, you have to do it with the open mics, right? Yeah. So if that's his dream, if I'm a good girlfriend and I want him bad because if he like to be a comedian you have to do with the open mics right yeah so if that's his dream if I'm a good girlfriend and I wanted to live his dream but it's like this is not your fucking dream you would be doing it every day if it was your

dream and then so but so it was like I had to like it was just it just hurt as an actual professional comedian that performed multiple times every night my entire career sacrificed everything in my life to do it just worked would wake up in the morning crying blood just screaming I want to be funnier um to have him just be like crying I just know I could be funnier than all these comedians like you're not you're not funnier than the worst comedian you're not funnier than the worst comedian so annoying and honestly something I think that comes up in our business a lot is like people that know us see what we're doing and like by the

way absolutely go do it go but i think when you've really done it the hard real way of like open mics three times a night for years and years and like and then you see people trying to just dabble you're like i don't know how to help you you want me to help you i don't know how yeah i'm not writing your fucking joke this is something that like you it's all up to you i mean that's why there's one person up there on stage like if you want help do improv right group but like it's all on you hello slug mamas i'm michael and my question is so let's suppose each one of you has to get the other two a tattoo what would it be and also maybe where would you put it love you guys and greetings from germany oh sweetie pie i love him i know all right michael ish deal ish field

ish vikin that means can i use the restroom and michael very impressive no it means i want to fuck you that was just a joke i do in front of German people. Lebedek is I love you, right? And Michael, I will fuck you for safety. That's me being a Jewish girl talking to a German Nazi soldier. And that's a role play that maybe one day we'll do. And you can hide her in a trunk. No one will find her. Okay.

Tattoo, definitely I'm giving you both a tramp stamp. Okay. Because I literally, they're coming back and I want one. I have to be clear. Wait, can I ask you guys if what I have is already a tramp stamp? I have, I don't have a centered tattoo on my lower back. Are you going to talk about the semen on your back? It's not just, that's not.

That's getting tattooed on you. That's a back piece. That's my tattoo. They don't call those tramp stamps. They call those back pieces. That's everywhere. It hit my head. Yeah, let's just say your tracks were showing okay so i have a it was one that i picked off a wall when i was 16 years old in las vegas but it's not centered it's to the right of my lower back and it's a dragon can we see yeah is this a tramp stamp really dragon is on

bend over bitch yeah oh it's so cute that's so hot it's not it's not a tramp stamp is right in the front it's right in the center it's kind of like the coolest version of a tramp stamp i know it is like you knew that you were like i don't't want to be like hacky. So you put it to the side. Annie, I don't think that was my line of thinking because I picked a picture from a wall. The wall art. How old were you? My first tattoo was by a man. His name is, he calls himself Injun Joe.

It was in Las Vegas. I got my mom to sign my papers for me because my sister was going off to college at UNLV. And I was like, I want a tattoo. And she was like, and injun joe shout out i was 16. do you guys have um what are your anxious tics because i'm chewing my i pick my nails right now yeah i pick and oh that's like bobby do you like rip it until it bleeds no dave does oh bobby his thumb is just it's disgusting what do we do how do we fix them? It looks painful. I know. It looks sickening.

Why don't you rub your nasty period juice all over their fingers and they will do it. So they can't. Well, then don't. We'll just lick it all up. What's the next? Hold on. Let's put on these headphones. I want to ask another question.

Oh, wait. I would get, Esther, I would get a pussy tattooed over your mouth. Oh, my God. And I would get, yeah, your jizz full back tattoo. I always wanted a giant back piece. So yes, I would actually very happily accept that. Lizzie Jennings actually has a jizz tattoo.

Wait, what tattoo would you get? You have to get it for me. You have to give it to me. But I, in general, I want to know, like I'm,

I'm, this is a different question. I would get, okay, I would get the Tasmanian Devil. Is there any world, is there any world? Where I get a serious tattoo? Where the three of us one day got something that like was a little thing.

Let's get a $150 million Spotify deal and then I'll get a matching. When we get $150 million, I and then I'll get a matching. When we get $150 million, I will get matching tattoos. I feel like $150 million is like my name. $50 million we'll do matching. $20 million. $50 million each. Esther, here's what I would,

the tattoos that I dream of for you. I would get a little teardrop under your eye. Cute. And then I would get a giant giant kind of like tupac across your belly or your neck like the undertaker oh i love that big ones right here those things would work well on me because yes the dynamic the big like i would have a star on my eyes starved david i'll get you some numbers annie no No, because Esther is Hebrew for star. So maybe like a little star here.

Esther is Hebrew for star. Yeah. They did it. They actually named you correctly. She's a little star. I actually think Amanda Bynes tattoo of her heart and her face is really cute. It is cute. I agree.

Thank you. Okay. If we get rich enough i will get a face i will get a heart matching heart tattoo with you guys i can't do the thin eyebrows though i don't i i think i like it wait we have to try to do that thin eyebrow thing that trick oh the trick the trick yeah there's a trick to make your eyebrows 90s thin her man's kind of cute is he oh let's not get into this yeah next to her this is a very it's a dark it's a dark her honestly amanda binds did a true life like one of the mtv things back in the day where they followed her around with her grandmother

in the it was they went to a dollar store something amanda binds is was in that moment the funniest person i've ever seen i agree i never saw that absolutely the funniest thing i've ever seen she was so funny she had her dog over she was like tweaking its nipples and it was the mommy's like she was being so unbelievably hilarious here's what i think that i don't know what happened to her amanda binds genuinely if you watch anything, she is fucking hilarious. She's a star. A fucking star. She's an Esther. Esther.

When I used to work at Equinox, she would always come in in full normal clothes with, like, full makeup. And I was always like, something's going on there. That was before the public came in new. Right. Yeah, this whole Amanda Byn is uh it it kind of breaks my heart a little bit she's the perfect trash tuesday guest i need the heart actually smaller and closer to the yes yes yes i don't want it mid-cheek like mid-cheek but that's that you know that was a bold choice and i i really i love obviously obviously done by her boyfriend

i was done in the night she woke up with that and I really, I love a big swing. Obviously done by her boyfriend. It's done in the night. She woke up with that. Saqqara. You guys, I can't believe we're sponsored by them. I knew you'd be excited about this. About Saqqara, which is like every Hawkgirl's rite of passage, like at least once in your life. So close to Shakira too.

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You guys, Saqqara is offering our listeners 20% off their first order. Oh my God, you have to take advantage of this. When they go to Saqqara.com slash trash tuesday or enter code trash tuesday at checkout that's s-a-k-a-r-a.com slash trash tuesday for 20 off your first order it's definitely worth it for like a reset Hey, Trash Queens. Love the show. Super slutty slug here. I am newly single and I'm like dating around, screwing around. It's great, safely. But I'm wondering when one of the dudes I'm seeing asks me what I'm doing on a day that I'm with a different dude I'm seeing, do I curve that with a lie? Or do I say I'm not doing anything? Do I say I have plans with my mom?

Help, I feel weird. I know exactly what to do. Leave it on read and don't answer for two days. She's not trying to date them. If you're in the middle of a date, pay attention to your date. Oh, that is great. Leave it on red when you have time i'm not saying gameplay leave it on red let them know you saw it you're busy you're doing other things you're not in a

committed relationship with them you don't owe them a quick response if you start quick responding now you owe them a response every time i think that leave it on red let them know when you're not chilling and not doing anything you write them back okay that was pretty good actually i was i was gonna say like it kind of depends on how much you like this person like do you wanna be attentive and answer but i think what you're saying is right it's very casual it sounds like it's your life it's what you're doing it's like up to you it's really not their business unless they're trying to like hang out with you right away, which I don't think plans should be last minute like that.

I'm anxiously attached. So that's like a big red flag for me. If people want to see me right now, that means bad news coming up. You're both right. I think you should honor the date that you're on. You don't need to be announcing to somebody else that you're on another date.

You should just, you know, leave your phone down and you can answer afterwards and check in on that person if you like them. But you're right. I mean, it should be clear that. But this is, you have to give the memo that, hey, I am dating multiple people. And that you are honest about that stuff. Like, this is an exclusive thing. If you're clear on that, you don't owe him an explanation in that moment.

No. And in fact, you don't owe him a text in that moment if you're on another date. Yeah. I'm trying to think, like, do you say, like, hanging with a friend? Do you say I was seeing a guy? No, don't even lie because then you're just. I don't like the dangling that you're doing things in front of people personally. I don't.

If that works for other people and that's what they want to do. I don't like because I wouldn't want, like, when I was a more open like casual thing with this guy it was like i didn't it it didn't feel good when i knew where even though i knew he was going places and stuff but it's just like i don't need to like know yeah where he it's not my business so why is he telling me yeah he's telling me because he wants to get some sort of like reaction and also it's like have the most fun while you're single and dating if this is causing like someone asking me where i am and me feeling possibly obligated to give an answer already doesn't make the dating thing fun you know what is really coming up for me right now is that i whenever like a friend or a dating person whatever would ask me like where are you what do you i i would

i'm like the first to be like i'm here and i'm here and then i'm doing this and then like and and i've learned now that that gets me into trouble because then a person who is maybe a friend me um but then they grow to demand that there you Yeah. Then it's like now they always want to know. And now and that's my fault because I set that precedent that they get to know. Right. And so I think your answer. Yeah. I'm just talking about being like healthy just for myself.

I would do that because I just I know I have a tendency to be like and then I'm like playing games and stuff. But leave it on. Like, let them know you saw it. Like, it doesn't matter but if I really like someone like if I like you you're gonna know yeah like if I'm already like even if I'm on the other date I'm probably gonna be texting in the bathroom like and then if I really like but are you on the date with the other guy because you're trying to not have like hard feelings for this person I'm trying I'm probably on the date with the other guy because you're trying to not have like hard feelings for this person i'm trying i'm probably on the date with the other guy to see what my options are for a

future partner like don't you want to date around and see what's the best match for you and sometimes there's just a standout person there just always was for me though i always would like have a guy that i was like really into and then if they were ignoring me, I would, like, try to go on dates with other guys. But it's, like, I never, like, wanted to be there. Right. But you kind of have to owe it to yourself to explore the other option anyways. But, yeah. Yeah, just try to be present.

So there are no rules if you really like someone. I guess that's what I'll say. If that person texting you is really piquing your interest and you have the, you know, the flutters in your belly, then. Yeah. I would be like, ugh, I want to hang out with someone boring. Yeah. What are you doing?

Yeah. And if it's someone like, and if you're afraid of like scaring someone off, if they're the right person for you, you won't scare them off. I mean, Esther is clung to Dave. Clung. Dem demands day one she moved in within moments she moved in within minutes i know i'm like but if dave wasn't like your guy and you weren't his girl he would have just been like okay out see ya oh yeah do you know what i mean like totally you can't like scare off the right person yes i think i used to have that thing where i was like did i come on too strong or

whatever i'm seeing another vons bag i'm disgusted this is gonna be i'm horrified what's wrong with vons listen here's the problem pete does have spina bifida we did talk about this earlier they only have a ramp of vons you know what i learned i learned from my i learned from my uh we have to start the rumor he doesn't mind go fund me okay i oh my god he's cured i had um i learned about bananas yesterday oh he got us organic though okay by the way last week last week we were talking about soup did anyone else get soup oh i went hot pot i immediately went i got shit sucked out of my ass and then i put hot pot back in i got uh hot and sour soup from din tai feng in glendale, my favorite place. I love Din Tai. It's actually Din Tai Dung when you go there. You didn't get soup?

I didn't get soup. Let's go. We got to go on a hot pot outing. Century City Mall has a hot pot place. I have been waiting for a Century City Mall day. I would love that. It's my number one favorite place. We didn't know that's where we were going when we put it in.

And when Todd, I was on the phone with Tim Dillon. They have a Din Tai Fung there todd i was on the phone with tim dylan they have a din tai fung there i was on the phone with tim dylan we're talking juice hang on the reason that i'm keeping half my banana here is in the event that you found a disgusting food for us and i'd like to chase it down with a banana all right uh maybe you'll be mad at me for this one i might not be allowed to eat me i have to go get or annie oh you bastard what is it it's close to what you fear i might better the only thing that pissed me off is durian my shit sucked out and i can't eat oh here it is but i can eat a. Is it because of I like a certain animal?

Oh my god. Oh, is it squid? No, can I leave? No, not unless the camera's on and you're screaming. What? Did Lila have that? What?

What is it? Do you like them? It's just a picture. Why is it? Do you like them? Oh! It's just the picture. Why is it already open? Why are we going to the universe? No, no, no. I don't want to do... The picture looks like a grown cockroach.

Nobody thought you were going to want to do this. If you're listening, it's giant water bugs. Wait, hold on. I got to see. No, no, no. I got to see! Oh, no! That was a big pic.

That actually freaked me out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That actually freaked me out. That actually freaked me out. No, sorry. That actually freaked me out. Does it look like... Give it to me. Give me the bag. I want to show you. No, no, no.

Close your eyes. I have... I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry. Please stop. Please put it away away and let's just go to the next segment please please

you can't even eat today I really can't eat it stop but maybe you'll get used to it no no no stop you guys kind of match I have a question I didn't take a good look but Annie can you just tell me if it looks like

a cockroach? A very big one. Hold on. I could smell the same taste all the bugs taste like. I'm going to try to look at it again. I'm literally packing my things like I want to go home. I'm going to take a look. I want to go home.

I'm going to take a look. It's just so big. I want to go home. All right. I'll take them. Can we just get back to something like talking about rape or... The good stuff? I'll eat that at some point.

I can't eat that. Let's one of us unlock a new rape. I will eat it. I will eat it. I will do it. It's the resemblance. It's the resemblance. They just were larger than I thought they were.

I was shocked. I was shocked. I was taken by it. Asthma. I need my inhaler. Oh was shocked. I was shocked. I was taken by it. Asthma. I have my need my inhaler. Oh my God. Kalilah passes away.

Back at the Sosie Bacon episode. I remember you said what you got Pete. I remember you said what you got with the snacks. You bastard. And I remembered that.

Here's what I'll No I think you did a good job. I got it. Here's how I'll eat that. Yeah. If you give me five minutes i come back blindfolded and i do not picture what i'm eating and you just we put the 528 hertz in your ear you put the binaural beats in you put the 528 in just don't tell me what it is i'm going to convince myself that it is another scorpion or another insect you brought over if i with that imagery in my head i can eat that but if i have to look at that thing and hold

what i think is a cockroach yeah it's the picture i'll pass out i'll do it i've left my body i'm not here i'll do it i mean it is the size of you so it would be upsetting thank you i know i can do it because it's mind over matter and you know survivor hasn't done it in a while but i've seen them eat some nasty shit and you really were born to be friends with joe rogan yeah you really never ate the stuff but the fact that he was around it and like the face of it it's just you fit right in i've watched some old episodes and I go, I could do it. I like facing my fears, though. I like the feeling, the euphoria of after you're really scared.

Because I am scared of that. That is large, okay? I have to admit. It's like a steak. But I can conquer any fear I have. And then I come out feeling so much better. That's how I look at it. But I don't like the taste of bugs.

Like the bugs that we've eaten, it's like it's a stale. Do you know what I'm talking about? You can smell it. It's just stale and salty. It smells the same. Stop, stop, stop, stop. I'm just like. Pete's like really worried about you.

I am. Thank you, Pete. Esther, are you okay? But we also live in this upset. Lila, are you okay? I want to call my mom. I'm fine. I've screamed at cockroaches many a time in my life. She doesn't love you Pete Esther are you okay? But we also live for you to be this upset I wanna like call my mom

I'm fine I've screamed at cockroaches many a time in my life She doesn't love you Esther Annie seems fine I wanna get picked up I've I had to work through it

and I'm good I can do it I'm happy that happened I like being faced with a moment of It's also when you scream then it just got bigger

in my head I couldn't believe how big it was I honestly just didn't expect. I was like, oh, it's going to be some little bugs. Well, it looks like a standard giant cockroach. That's what it looks like. Here's the thing.

Would you rather eat a dried one or like a wet one? I don't even want to honestly. Honestly, Annie, I'm telling you right now, I don't even want to entertain what you're saying to me because I feel like I'm going to pass out. Your eyes are different than they've ever been it's not anger or anything it's like help I'm gonna pass out my blood pressure has really dropped you guys do you know she's crying let's just change that subject look at can we zoom down on this foot do you know

who would actually be the perfect guest for our show that fits in with us so well is Mia Khalifa. I love Mia. Yeah, I was just looking at her today. That's so weird. There was this big Bustle article about her rebrand. I looked at the pictures. And I'm like, this girl has such Trash Tuesday energy. She used to do porn and now she's just like this super cool it girl with huge tits like

she's funny she's the tit girl she's silly like i think that she needs to be on our show i think mia khalifa is switched the fuck on yep that's is that a dr seuss tattoo holy crap that's so that's sick is it yeah of course it is look at it it's the hat oh the hat being tipped i haven't read the article yet oh she's porn hubs number one performer did she get um because she wore a hijab i guess and that sent a controversy and they they should they i think it might be the hijabis to be honest i've never seen how was the article i haven't read it yet but i'm excited to what is that how was the article did you read it um it basically just talks about how like her transition where it started and

yeah it's she's a badass you know she fits in here but now she's blocking the creeps do you know what i like about that it's like we are all evolving and if she wanted to get plowed out and she thought it was fine for you guys to like say gross things to her back then and then she realized she actually like through all of this is like inspiring women and found all these cool people that are like positive and making her feel good and she no longer accepts that in her life that's sort of like shitty treatment that's awesome but i'm also just over the idea that you have to just be one thing your whole life yeah it's like i know that's the easiest way to digest who someone is because you're like well she did porn or did this so that must be every you know it's like no that's just one part of her not the all of her

she has many different facets to her can you just allow her to be everything she wants to be is that okay it's also so weird when you tell kids like i was thinking about this yesterday it's so weird you're bringing this up because i was thinking about it yesterday when it's like you tell kids like i'm not a kid stop you tell children um you tell like people tell kids like to figure out what they want to be when they grow up. It's like you're a million things when you grow up. You're like so many things when you grow up. I think we're the generation.

If you believe you can. We're in the generation right now of the rebrand. Anything is possible. Anyone can rebrand as anything. We're in control of our social media. We control what we put out there about ourselves. Like brands, look at like brands are always redesigning their logos re you know hiring new faces of the company like we can all do that for ourselves and i think mia

is a perfect example i've always thought even before mia a girl like asa akira who is so she's one of the funniest people i've ever met she is just so freaking bright and sound. She posted this one thing that brought me so much comfort as a young girl. If I think about my young self being with boys in a sexual way, or even today how certain men are just not, they have a very warped idea of what sex is with a woman or how they go about it because no one ever checked their, the way they consumed porn and porn is not real life. But coming from someone like Asakira, this is what she said.

If you aren't talking to your kids about sex because it feels too awkward and you're just hoping they are learning about it from somewhere else, don't be shocked when their first experience is inappropriate and devastating. Kids are naturally curious about their bodies and inherent urges. They are biologically wired this way. Of course, they are going to find porn. Just make sure they have context before they do, or they are going to suffer major confusion. And if your intro to sex was me sucking 11 dicks in a warehouse, that's fucked up. You deserved adequate sex ed prior. Maybe your parents didn't know any better, and maybe that's not their fault but we must give kids the basic information they need to navigate life sex is part of that

can we put a beat behind that and make that the new sunscreen yeah it's so true i think it is a parent's responsibility to say hey this is porn and this is real life there's a very big distinction before your parents get to i know. Sometimes you're in the closet too young, Uncle Jack. I also am so over the whole narrative of like once a girl fucks on camera, that's all she is. Like fuck you.

That is not true. I've been friends with Brie Olsen for the last like 10 years. Has she been openly friends with you? Has she admitted it? She's not come forward yet we did meet on myspace um but i think she would be another fun person to have on the show and just talk about all the things that she's gone through and yeah well it's just so weird that like

when you know as a comic when i get pushedback for like talking about sex on stage, which by the way, literally every guy talks about, there's like two clean comics in the world. But, you know, just that thing that happened before that I mentioned, you know, and that guy said that to me, it's like when you've lived a life where guys have only been trying to fuck you all the time, like just constantly since you were a kid. Like I remember getting hit on when I was 12 years old. Like it's just like you just get hit on all the time and then like succumb to the pressure I fell for blue balls so many times like like literally pressured into fucking these guys and then to have it come turn around and then you're like a grown-up who I'm in a healthy relationship totally in love helping

fucking girls feel more comfortable about themselves I tell tell the truth. I don't allow myself to be silenced. I'm like doing well in an industry that people perceive as hard. I'm having a great time. I'm fun. I'm filled with love. I love sharing my light. I love meeting my fans. I love inspiring people.

And I love just like being myself. Why is it now being turned on me that I was some sort of slut back in the day when I was had repressed childhood fucking sexual abuse when I was badgered to fuck badgered to fuck all the time. There's something that I wanted to. It's like, what the hell? What do you want? Go away.

You're not my people. Don't comment on me. Goodbye. Or if you do, it's nothing. But you know what I mean? It's like now I'm a hoe yeah you begged me to take my pants off and now i'm a hoe now that i'm in love and in monogamous relationship spreading joy now i'm a hoe um my one of my favorite my most favorite quotes because I lean in to my sexual escapades. There's no shame. There's nothing you can say that will ever, ever penetrate my skin when it comes to sex. I've done it all. I've sucked it

all. I've fucked it all. Yes, bitch. Not all of it. She's right here. She's begging for it. I love that part of me. I love that part of me now because I've obviously dealt with my sexual trauma. It wasn't always positive. But this girl, I heard it on TikTok, but she said, God gives his hardest battles to his strongest horse. And I'm a strong horse. I like to think of myself as one of those strongest horse. So you can attempt all you want. You are never going to ever

effectively shame someone like me. Never. There's nothing you can do. All right. I got one more question here. Hi, my name is Maria. I'm a sit down comedian from Seattle, 5'1", half Filipino. So I might actually be the love child of all three of you my question for you is what frozen food item are you i myself am leftover spaghetti in an ice cream tub back of the freezer whoa so good leftover spaghetti in an ice cream that is very filipino that is frozen food are you i think i know what i am what well you guys can can start because I have options. Okay, I actually know exactly what I am because it's the thing that I've been eating the most for the last 15 years. It's Amy's frozen enchiladas.

It comes with one enchilada. It's vegan and gluten-free, a side of rice, a side of beans. It's like 400 calories. It's healthy. It's simple. It's basic as fuck. It does the job. It's consistent.

That's what I want to be so i'm a green chili pozole soup that uh from the cowgirl my old restaurant in santa fe the old restaurant i worked at very seasonal a seasonal item that is delicious, but just frozen in the back and just very warmed up. And it's and I'm only eating out of a bread Coke tumbler from the restaurant. Extra salted. I'm hungry. Soup. I'm a soup. I have two options. Either just a frozen banana that you keep forgetting to use for your

banana bread mm-hmm or I swear by these I eat them all the time they're the tree Trader Joe's Thai chili patties they're plant-based they're my most favorite thing to eat I put it underneath my eggs in the morning everyone go try it okay I'm actually rocky road ice cream let's be real it's my most favorite thing to eat. I put it underneath my eggs in the morning. Everyone go try it. Okay. I'm actually a rocky road ice cream. Let's be real.

It's a rocky road. Sometimes it's sweet and sometimes you break your tooth. Wait, I want to be cookies and cream ice cream. Ew, not with that voice. Why? Ew, don't do a cookies and cream voice. Cookies and cream? Or cookie dough? What is your favorite ice cream? I'll give you cookie dough. Cookie dough or cookies and cream voice. Cookies and cream? Or cookie dough?

What is your favorite ice cream? I'll give you cookie dough. Cookie dough or cookies and cream. So good. Like literally I'm getting, I'm going places mentally just thinking and talking about it like I need quiet time. Yeah. I'm in chocolate chip till death.

Oh, that's Dave's. You guys have one thing in common, finally. No, we both find me hilarious. We both like that one joke we laughed at. What's your ice cream flavor? Do you guys know what ube is? Yes. But a certain brand.

So it's either Selecta or Magnolia ube ice cream. That's what I, that I just cannot, I mean, tubs and tubs of it. I don't even put it on a bowl, in a bowl. I just eat it out of the tub. Dude, back in the day, Trader Joe's used to have a green tea gelato that they discontinued. And I couldn't believe they were because I was buying so much of it. I was like, there's no way that this is not making money. I would eat a whole thing of it every day.

I used to go to Pinkberry and I would get the green tea flavor and sit there and eat it by myself. And that was like my main course. And then I would get a dessert flavor and like I would eat two Pinkberries. I know green tea are like, it's just a before dinner. Yeah, that's not a dessert. A pretief. Oh my gosh, you guys, thank you so much for listening to this chaotic shit show train wreck of a hit podcast esther you always have ants coming out of your bag it's and it's not me it's this it's here because i leave home and it's here it's not me have you ever had one crawl out of your cookie your cookies and cream oh you are cookies and cream thank you cookies and cream pie you guys as always

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