Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Three Barbies and an Ezra Miller

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Trash Tuesday live show tickets on sale 10am PST!!https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/09005EEAEFA03D97 Thank you to our Sponsors: Rocket Money - Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy way by going to https://rocketmoney.com/trashtuesday Nutrafol - Get $10 off your first month’s subscription + free shipping when you go to https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code TRASHLiquid Death - You can find Liquid Death’s healthy beverages on Amazon or at a retailer near you. Get 20% off your first Liquid Death apparel purchase available exclusively at https://liquiddeath.com/trash Exclusions may apply.BetterHelp - Visit our sponsor https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday to get 10% off your first month 0:00 The Proper Way to Wipe5:14 Barbie Doll Play When We Were Kids9:23 Hot Guy, Not So Hot Personality24:14 Living Together With Your Significant Other26:02 Reptiles30:38 An Open Door Bathroom Policy33:53 Controversial Role Play38:57 Ezra Miller43:39 Bonding Experiences With Someone You Weren’t Attracted to at First46:15 Titanic the Tragedy, Titanic the Movie52:51 Annie Wants to Try to Drive the Speed Limit for One Week54:20 High School Reunions 56:08 Nursing a Full Grown Man Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Send us your Trash Tuesday fan mail!c/o 7EQUIS LLCP.O. Box 5154Glendale, CA 91221 Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Andres Rosende

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theory that you've never wiped in your life i bet you there's particles of poop and pee on the end of your hair wait didn't we already establish that you you wipe back yeah back to front, like the wrong direction. Hold on. She hasn't changed, Annie. We haven't taught her a thing. Yeah, she still does it. Yeah, so you basically haven't wiped your whole life. You just brought the bad stuff to the good stuff. No, I don't dig it in my ass and then bring it out. You know what I'm saying?

Soft swipe? No. She doesn't wipe, guys. This is Esther pretending she wipes she wiped no but sometimes when you're in a rush and you don't fully wipe all the way and it's like you're still wet but not in the good way kind of when you're out of what do you do when you're out of toilet paper though but if you wipe you're not still wet say what you said that you do without when you're oh when when we're out of toilet paper i'll use the um the cardboard thing and i'll wipe that's a good one that gets it all that's do you sit there and soften it first no i scrape it out that is so crazy that

you do that i bet you go in the comments hello i can't be the only one i you are it's great you are i wouldn't use it for my butt though oh but the you would it It's such a hard thing. You scrape. See, I would scrape the butt with cardboard, but I have done this. In the Philippines, toilet paper is scarce. Upping the Annie. That's right. We have a new segment. Let me. Add all of our other segments.

I'm going to up your Annie. Oh, up your Annie. So the Philippines toilet paper is not, they don't give it out for free in like the public restrooms and whatnot. So it's like every man for himself. Can you pay for it or it's just not there? Like now they're a little bit better in like the malls and stuff. But like

growing up, like you basically had to bring your own toilet paper, your own wipes, or you're just literally out of luck. So what I would do, I went to an all girls catholic school towards the end of my stay there saying shout out saint teresa's but um shout out our sponsor saint teresa sponsor the philippines all girls school run by nuns we want to teach the nuns love us they play us every wednesday they say look we we watched it we checked it out it it

it's clean you guys can watch it you're going to learn a lot of really appropriate things and so what i would do because i my mom would not you know send me to school with toilet paper is during class um anytime i had like maybe a minute to spare i would take lined paper and i would soften it so i would have a stack of softened lined paper to use as toilet paper. And that's what I used to wipe with in a crunch. That actually sounds nice. That's Esther's set list.

She's like, oh my God. That sounds soft, softened paper, hand softened paper by Kalilah. Like I would buy that. Well, she can use it as paper mache and then make a mold of her own behold. Behold? Behold the behold. But if you guys are at home you're in a crunch and but there is lined paper sitting around are you i'm telling you just looking at how pretty she is like what is she talking about what what stop throwing your

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That's LiquidDeath.com slash trash. Let therapy be your map with better help visit better help dot com slash trash tuesday today to get 10 off your first month that's better help help dot com slash trash tuesday hi you guys i am on tour it's called the dream without a dream tour if you know the reference britney um next week are all my shows in new york city we added one more show so July 19th through 23rd I'll be at Joe's Pub I'm very excited I cannot wait New York is my favorite city in the world I can't wait to see you guys there and after that I will be at Oxnard DC Boston Madison

Wisconsin San Diego Detroit Chicago San Jose Irvine get tickets at estherknights.com. Love you, mean it. Hi, sluggies. I'm on the road. Welcome to Annie Wood Tour. You can see me at my very exciting birthday show, one night only in Las Vegas at Wise Guys on July 20th. I will be in Greenville, South Carolina, July 28th and 29th. I'll be in Philadelphia, August 11th and 12th. I'm going to be at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival in Calgary with Andrew Schultz August 27th. I'll also be in San Francisco, Austin and a bunch of other places. So go get tickets at Annie Letterman.com slash shows. All I can think about is your nipples. Yeah, I can't get over the width of your neck. So today is the Barbie themed episode. Oh, wait, before we go, guys, click the bell.

There's a lot of comments that you're not getting the episode sent to you. Great. Well said. Very well said. I did produce some mushrooms, but. Very well articulated. I'm on mushrooms. It's the Barbie episode.

But click the bell for the notifications. Is that right? Notification. Yeah, so we're having some... Subscribe and... Go ahead. No, subscribe to the show and get the notifications. Yeah.

Click the bell for notifications. And also, I would say... I'm not too ashamed to say, if you're a fan, make sure you're watching all the way through watch time is very important in the algorithm and the algorithm doesn't like us because there's a lot of men out there who think we're whores and they're mad so we need you guys to help fight them and then thank you to the nuns at st. Thomas school and Teresa Teresa she said St. Thomas you turned it masculine fuck do you hate men or not

I'm a pick me girl you have to decide she's a pick me Christian Christian girl what did you guys used to do to your Barbies how did you play with Barbies

well what was your method of play let me open the gates real quick did you have to use Skipper because it was the only one that looked like you fuck you

who's Skipper oh Esther you came as the Down Syndrome Barbie that's so funny oh my god you can't say that Fuck you. Who's Skipper? Oh, Esther, you came as the Down syndrome Barbie. Oh my God. You can't say that. Just because I have brown hair. Anyways, I would also, when I would play with my Barbies,

I would like, I would fart and then be like, my Barbie farted. I have friends who still bring that up to me. Oh, I mean, I don't know how my parents thought that i wouldn't i wouldn't show them on a doll where the bad man hurt me you know what i mean like all my barbies were either decapitated like had sharpied periods on them had mutilated breasts like i was you cannot give a little kid a barbie you foresaw you getting your breast implants out no but you can't give a little kid a barbie she's she's weird about her body already she's looking at this like ideal version of a woman that's like so you know beautiful yeah i drowned my barbies like it was some my dolls got

murdered they went through like well you're just trying to be like your uncle. You were trying to fit in with your family. See, Barbie was my original hot girl. Like I worshiped her. I wanted to be like her. I would fucking fantasize so hard about having those clothes that she had. They were so cool. I couldn't wait- Why didn't you put them on?

They fit you. I couldn't wait to be an adult to have those kinds of clothes that would fit me. We should make you like Velcroed clothes where you can just take them off of them off of velcro okay now we have a business i think we're lazy girls um what about you in i bet you didn't play with you no i bought you dolls no they did but my mom was like she had a lot of like she'd be like oh i just don't get barbies so then i'd be like all right and i would have to make them like fight and like bang my brother's um gi joe men what i have to make them do like matt like i would have to make them like fight and be like again did old baby i'm telling you yeah i had the pregnancy one too what's the pregnancy one no

wait barbie got pregnant barbie got pregnant and then you could just take the baby out of the stomach she must have had a miscarriage since it didn't really. I wonder if her baby was the same size as yours. Oh, we didn't get pregnant Barbie in the Philippines. I feel like we're 10 years behind. Is that scary? Oh my God. That's the scariest thing I've ever seen. That's not cool.

It's really scary. Well, it's better than giving her a vag, I guess. Girls aren't ready for that. But look at her legs. Thigh gap. Barbie's vagina really messed up men because that's what men expect now and we expect a nice smooth ken doll we expect no penis no that's why balls are such a shock to us i've never in my life found um ken remotely attractive hell no no ken was not hot he always seemed like the gay friend and that's

weird because i love half gay boys didn't ken always feel like the gay friend. And that's weird because I love half gay boys. Didn't Ken always seem like they were just going shopping together? Wait, okay. I actually have this interesting question. Do you, to me, do you have a guy or have you ever had a guy in your life where, and you should like dig deep and think about this, okay? And I just, the viewers, I want you guys to know this is no one I'm talking about that you would know or that's in our business at all whatever but like tony or redman no no a guy who like you see pictures of him but you know him right in pictures of him you're like

he is so fucking hot i want to fuck him like his hot, whatever, but actually him as a person and you know him, like it could be a friend or whatever. You're just like, it's just not there. His, his, his energy, his personality,

something about him ruins it. But like his actual physical body, I, if you took his soul out, it would be fuckable. It's a great vessel. Yeah. Do you have that?

That's it. I feel like that's why i didn't ever date haka i like never had hot boyfriends until i was a little bit older because why because i never liked their person they were annoying i didn't like that they thought they could have me too because my older brothers i always felt like there was this like power dynamic my older brother's friends would like kind of mess with me and i always felt like they were pranking me i could never tell if they're being for real yeah i mean it's hard for me okay i think what you're saying is a little bit hard for me because immediately knowing how he is in person what i would i would look at him through that filter i know what you're saying and i am the same way but there's a few rare instances

where i can i don't know if it like comes to me in a dream where like i can sort of like find the attraction but then it's only his body truly a vessel of him is attractive um okay so i can objectively find people like oh he's you know handsome pretty but have zero like desired even like i can't even think about them sexually so that's different because that are you saying that is when you see oh i can tell he's conventionally attractive and other people would want to fuck him but i don't or are you saying i know like i see like oh like that is somebody that yeah it is different because conventional attractiveness is different than finding someone physically attractive. Yeah, like I just sort of get lately the whole like how men just look at us as bodies and objects.

Sometimes I'm like, I kind of get it. Like I saw this man running at like. She's like, I've been engaged for 17 years. I finally get it. I saw this man running in short shorts and his like thick hairy muscular thighs i was like like that's hot i don't know which is not it's weird because i don't know that guy at all and he he's not hot you see it's like going to like those um like magic mike or going to like thunder down under like i find it so just repulsive

i do too with that said we should go that's it i have tickets i'm actually starring in it i use my other chest plate i love a slow burn attraction though where you see them and you're like you pay them no mind because you're like oh like that's not usually my type and then either you do stuff together you get to know them slowly and the kind that those feelings trickle in and you're like wait a second like like something shifted and why do i find this person like you know just like i can't stop thinking about them that's the best feeling for me the slow burn but that first initial burst of a track when you see someone you're like oh he's hot yeah it's so boring to me i like a slow burn well you can only go down from there usually yes exactly but i think like if i think about me with dave like i saw him had that initial attraction and then almost had also the slow burn where it's like oh and i'm getting to know you and i like i think you can

have both in yeah well obviously yeah right i guess we keep like pulling it's it's hard for me to like go back to all these guys it's like it's just it's hard to always pull because i'm like i have my guy now so it's like hard to remember i'm always trying to remember like when you get years into a relationship it gets easier to remember for some reason because you're like oh i have nothing there's nothing i know too much about you um wait side note and i do mean this as an insult to you annie um i cannot believe how lucky we are that we like the person that you're ending up with yes i cannot believe well i can't believe i found i can't believe it like the odds of you ending up with a guy that we all hate were so high

oh that oh you're saying that you guys like i think was even myself i was like oh my god because i was thinking about it i was i did um uh the new show on your mom's house the um first date and she was like asking about these questions it was so hard like i wish i had like been more prepared because it was hard to remember but um i just was like she's like what are red flags i'm like i i don't i never had red for i dated people i hated for years i would date like i would just stay with them forever well that's what the jewish matchmaker says she's like date them till you hate them so i would date them about three years past hating them i mean i'd be like what i used to sit in my car when i would come home because

i was like i don't want to go into my house if my boyfriend would come home i would see him like his car pulling up i would just turn the light off and pretend to be asleep even though he saw me turn the light off wait that's literally what me and my dad joke about when if a relative is gonna come by the house we always are like okay we're building a panic room we're turning all the lights off and that's what you did for your point but it's just so funny like he just sees the light turn off i'm like oh i just happened to fall deeply asleep the second you came here and he starts ripping pillowcases because you're not gonna give up the pussy that night he was he was like angry but he was like he kept it in more he was a different one but he um yeah i just nope but he was cute and and when i fucked him i had i did have to think i would have to get a

crush on someone else to really bang him hard i'd have to be thinking about someone else and he was fine he's handsome big dick i just i just couldn't he hated him you hated his insides yeah no yeah then it's not his fault do you how do you do you just have to close your eyes or turn the lights off for the other person's sex it would be close eyes yeah yeah and i'd be like don't talk i'm trying to pretend you're someone else like i don't say that but i actually think it would be i mean role play is basically saying that I think it's cool to like let's just pretend it's not you anyone but you yeah yeah if you've been together for so long like you want yeah it's I don't know I did that my whole relationship I think with Bobby I mean

he was like Brandon the virgin towards the end. He was really shy. He was really thankful. You guys should like sell like a kit that's like different roles that you guys did. So that like people, couples like me and Dave can like buy the kit and be like, oh, today I'm Brandon the Virgin. It's like you want to fuck her so bad. Like the ways you try to get around having sex with Kalilah. Esther, do you still want to have sex with me? like you it'll be like a mask of your face my boyfriend will wear it esther do you still want to have sex with me what do you mean i what do you mean by that what do you mean by that you still want to have sex with me these the tattoo is fading so i don't know i'll get a redone that was the darkest thing i've ever seen

that was like a weird i was like oof i was happy for you i guess because wasn't it your first one yeah that's you know what that felt like what you getting that tattoo being skinned and i'm so scared of this answer that it's that there is this There was this boy that I dated in my 20s. And he's the only boyfriend I would like punch in the dick if I saw him publicly for this day. All my other exes were like generally like decent people. This guy was not. I don't love where this is going. A month into dating.

A month into dating. Like he knew that I had a whole family trip to the Philippines planned. Like when we first started dating. Andmas came around and he handed me he's like merry christmas and he had tears in his eyes and the first gift was an album of just pictures of him it was like the andrew keegan um um wait he sent you pictures of himself it's an album of pictures of him like like headshots basically and the second thing was a ticket to the philippines to join my family and i i did not invite him oh that's so invasive but did you let him go he he came yeah but like he he followed me like everyone's tickets or just he bought himself a ticket to go he bought himself a ticket to join me and he had tears in his eyes.

I kind of like where I like this guy's plan. I know he hijacked my family vacation. She just bought tickets to share with him. So maybe it'll work. The tattoo and the sex thing, you know, eventually I will give in. Okay. She's manifesting something. But it is like it's more charming now that it's fading.

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and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. So why would you guys, I'm curious, be with people that you didn't like i was scared i think i was so like afraid to like okay there was two things going on the guy that i was talking about was very nice and i had never dated a nice guy that was like devoted to me so i was like am i an asshole if i give up this person that's like so into me or whatever and so nice to me? Like he wasn't doing anything wrong. He's a he's a perfectly like good guy.

He just wasn't for me, you know. And so I was afraid of that. And we live together. So then I was like, oh, my God. And then he I always date guys that are from Jersey. And then so we meet each other's family. So then you have to like divorce a family to me it was just it was basically being like a coward and not courageous and not brave and feeling like that feeling that always you look back on and can't believe it but

that feeling of being like oh what if there's not something better out there which is like insane to think that insane and even at my age you still think that when you go through a breakup but i think to answer your question fancy like you don't you go in to this you go into all of your relationships like liking them at first and then you just over time like find out more about them and you're like these people are monsters but he wasn't you know what i think with mine was different because he wasn't a monster but i never saw like a longevity with him and then we just got into all of these like contracts and we're like signing leases i was like i don't know how this happened especially if you're meeting his

family like right early on so it was like i never so i think i also it was maybe my resentment towards him was like less even about him and more about the fact that i was like betraying the truth like i knew we weren't gonna be together so it was just kind of like this painful thing where i'm like and i just like didn't want to hurt his feelings and it's it really comes down to like a weird narcissistic thing where you're like well and like you listen to people they're like i couldn't live without you and it's like yes they can't you know they absolutely can't a girl right into my house it was like it was the quickest thing i've ever seen in my life have you never dated a girl and thought maybe three months in you're like oof like i actually don't like this person as much as i thought sure but it was a short thing yeah how short you know what i'm saying like i wouldn't

have uh three years past yes that to me seems like yeah to both people but also for yourself right it's too much burden to to carry 100 and then but also i think it was a lot of like fear of financial stuff because we were like we moved in together because we were broke you know and then i was like oh my god how am i gonna afford to it's like things that in the end you're always like oh you end up finding the money like when you do the right thing like money just appears to help you usually is what i've noticed when you're not like betraying yourself and this other person isn't it wild though how many boys at least for me how many boys I've lived with I moved in with at such a young age like I was moved in with a boyfriend by the time I was 17 and yeah what are

the chances you're gonna like stay with this person forever at that age it's so crazy to do such a grown-up thing to move in together 17 I've lived with every single boyfriend since the age of 17 yeah i think that that is normal for me too because one it's expensive to live two the best parts of a relationship are going to bed together and waking up together it's like it does feel weird like you're paying for two rents for no reason yeah but then i then they then you go out in the world and you meet so many normal adults who have been in long relationships who still have their own places and you're like oh i guess yeah one new thing that i've been seeing too which i kind of find kind of cool is like i have friends who are married with children who are both busy successful people

who don't live in the same household or even live in the same country. It happens a lot with people that I know in Asia where their husband works in Hong Kong and the girl has an entertainment career in the Philippines, but they're happy. They have children. Oh my God, she has all these hot Filipino guys. I know. She definitely does. Who are these Filipino entertainers you know?

I grew up there, you guys. I could have been one you still can be slash are yeah but um so i and then i have um i have friends in new york who've been together for almost 15 years and they still don't live together and there's they're a great idea but i love being like every time i'm on the road because todd's been working now and so i he doesn't come on the road with me and i cannot wait to just like get in bed with him like it's like i just want to be like cuddling with him all the time he is like has his like work room and slash reptile room there's so many reptiles now it's like really kind of crazy i mean i come out as like a reptile

guy right before we get engaged just like i can't i fucking love you think he's been but it's actually no but everyone i try to talk shit on him with about it is like oh my god what kind of reptiles tim billen came into my house to meet the skink like i was like i thought we'd be trashing him you know what i used to have because i had a big terrarium as well do you know that i'm a reptile girl myself i've had i wouldn't be surprised i had a tarantula named boris not a reptile i had another one named charlie was a a tarantula named boris not a reptile i had another one named charlie it was a desert tarantula but i had two green basilicks what are those those are the ones the lizards that walk on water this one i lived in vegas so i had oh my god that's

such a perfect place to have a terrarium exactly in vegas and i also were you selling coke too there's something about owning reptiles i'm like should we just start selling coke too there's something about owning reptiles i'm like should we just start selling coke and i had um three ferrets i was like a fool they stole stuff right don't ferret steal things from you ferrets are so cute and they back their asses into a corner to poo they never poo out in the open they always have to back it into a corner so their poo stays and they are like i know well because in vegas you can have more there's more The exotic animal laws are a little bit more lax. Less. Did Dave have to check that out before he invited you to come with him? But like one time, Dave and I went to an exotic animal pet store in Vegas.

And we was like, I met a hedgehog for the first time. It was really I really want. But they're illegal. Did you do a DNA test? We were mad. We met on 23 and me. We're actually using the hedgehog's eggs. I really won't, but they're illegal. Did you do a DNA test? We were matched. We met on 23andMe technically beforehand. We're actually using the hedgehog's eggs to have children.

Are you going to do eggs? No, I don't. You're in such a good health journey right now. It's such a, but do it. You have to do it. I don't. I'm very. Well, you don't have to do it. No, I'm really on the fence.

Like I've been very anti-egg freezing, but then lately I'm like, is this a mistake? I don't know. I'm so curious how Kourtney Kardashian got pregnant again. Definitely through IVF. Yeah. Definitely. They didn't bang it out. I was, like, so annoyed by how obviously that was not her telling him for the first time that she was pregnant.

Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously, but it's like. It should have been. Yeah, that was a fantasy they sold the first time that she was pregnant oh yeah i mean obviously but it's like it should have been yeah that was a fantasy they sold us like she was and then you see how much she's showing like you wouldn't have noticed that she's like but you saw it's that she was recreating a moment from his music video oh is that what it was yeah which i'm like that was i guess it was something no that's cute yeah but you just blink and you forget all of the blink 182 my policy though is like you kind of only get your first pregnancy to like be a big deal and then like once you keep having kids after that it's like do we really have what do you think

that if you get pregnant again you're not going to be? Well, I would count that as my first. Yeah. Okay. Okay. We're going to do another one. You would count your miscarriage as your first? No. If I do choose to get pregnant again, which I'm really every day is I don't know, I would probably consider that my first first would you be like so weirded out when your

baby came out with like scales on it if my baby doesn't come out as a dog i'm throwing it away like i want a dog baby so badly or i'll take a slink or a skink what is a skink well you look up a blue tongue skink is it the double-headed ones no double-headed what the fuck lila no the skinks where their butts look like their head so that if the predator bites accidentally bites the butt it's like a defense mechanism it's like a i didn't make this up i swear you know i you know you say that todd became a reptile guy like later in the game though um look oh and ours is really fat okay that's like obese his name's arnold we just named him today oh so cute can you look up the double-headed did i make that up i'm his mother double

yeah oh my god i think i made this up i love todd no it's really cute but every time i go to town he gets a new one i'm like todd you guys named him after no so the first one um see the second picture the butt looks like the the head so that um if the pret no not that one these are so that one i would love to have a little siamese you see how that way it looks like a full turd does that not look like like a you know what it looks like it looks like a ferret backed its ass up to squeeze that out. Can you believe we all poo? Kalilah. Esther's like, I'm trying to bang you.

Can you believe? I can't believe I've never seen Esther poop in our friendship. Really? I feel like you're a little bit, are you a little shy? I don't think I've even heard you fart. I've for uh done it on facetime with you annie and i've seen you yes yeah we do have a thing at home though where i don't and i don't know if it was always like this or if this is newer but i don't close the door and dave will like walk into the bathroom and i'm like private time and he's like this is what doors are for he gets so mad at me no you like to be

asserting the boundary rather than having the boundary be there i wanted to use verbal a verbal experience bobby used to do this thing where because he i was just so secretive about again private time um cute i just don't in the decade we were together, like he never saw me. Not once. I don't think he ever really heard me fart ever. When you broke up, did you start doing it? He never saw you. You're always hiding. She's hiding behind those tits.

He would barge in and then inhale really hard like this. If he knew, even if I was just peeing, because at the chance that I was going number two, like he wanted to know like my scent. Or to humiliate you. Yeah. And I'd be like, nothing's happening. Or to definitely go against everything you asked him. I do that with Donut.

Like I love the smell of her farts. They're so small and cute. So maybe you're like his Donut. Maybe. Like they just maybe they they want what they can't imagine esther sniffing donuts ass i do just i mean i know we do this every episode but i just love my dog yeah dude i just love him i sick sometimes i just will call my friend mary lou i'll just like leave her a message i'll just voice memo her and i'll be like my dog's so cute i love him so much it's like she probably just like oh i just i don't know why i always send it to her this is crazy that like you've never looked more pam anderson but also you've never looked more joe rogan at the same

time like the width the neck yeah what if I just pulled my ass bald? I was Rogan the whole time. I'm on it. They're so bouncy and they're so soft. What does Todd make of the titties? He doesn't want me to wear them because he knows it brings me discomfort. He's like, oh, the boobs again. He knows I'm going to be like, oh, I'm trying to get them off.

Start passing out. I'm allergic to whatever it is, but it's worth it. If these weren't so difficult and such a burden, I would be wearing these every episode. Do you know how many episodes I could have used these for? Dude, I'm kind of similar. I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to like wetsuit material like the neoprene like i always anytime i have to go dive i get these like weird patchy bumps all over my body that are so itchy i wouldn't know i've never had a swimsuit i've never

can't wait to shove you in the water wait okay so i have sort of a controversial topic i want to bring up and oh my god before people are like start calling me pro pedophile oh no we're having a discussion for intelligent people oh my god with me and annie yeah oh my god you're intelligent people esther molested her friends no it's not it's not related to that i had this written down before okay i saw this girl being interviewed and she was talking about and i was trying to like find out who she was and i literally couldn't she was talking about how she was dating a guy who would take her shopping make her buy little girls underwear he would buy her coloring books and toys and little girls clothes it was you the whole time i was the guy this is no this is you like

trying to get us off the trail you're like this girl i couldn't find out who my friend uh her name is mester um and then like so then she would like they would go to his place whatever and she would like this is i just want to i should give like trigger warning i guess to you guys no like this is a this is a disturbing topic and it made me uncomfortable but so then like she would like color in her coloring book and then essentially like act like a little kid and then they would engage in sexual activity. And I didn't really get a sense about how this girl felt about it. So this this discussion isn't really about that situation just made me think like it made me really sick to my stomach and like uncomfortable when I heard that. But then I was like, well, what if you are someone who is born as a pedophile and you are attracted to

children and then instead of like molesting kids you yeah acted out in a safe way like is that okay is that bad are you asking your ex-boyfriends or well um we had margaret it's just okay to have a crush on you now at At 35, you finally look like you're 19. Thank you. Like, what if you were with someone? This is, I know, it's your joke. Do you think that someone's going to me to pretend to be a baby with my voice and shit?

But let's just say. People with, like, grandma fetishes come to me. And you know what is, Annie and I are not. I don't read childlike. We're not targets for pedos. Ram off fetishes come to me. And you know what is... Annie and I are not... I don't read childlike. We're not targets for pedos anymore. We were.

I do feel the very strong necessary urge to say I've never had been approached about this either. Although one guy once was like, you should wear all white cotton little girls underwear. And I was like, you should wear all white cotton little girl's underwear. And I was like, what? No. Anyways, so no one I've ever like had, no one has ever like asked me to do this. But I am thinking of myself here.

What if you had a partner that asked you to do that? And in this girl's story, I don't know how she felt about doing this. So that's why I'm saying like, let's's separate her and now this is a different discussion but like if so and i know you're saying no one would ask you but what they might like what if they did had me where like like tuesday wednesday thursday and i think that i would be okay with it if it was like a one-off like he was just trying new scenarios and he was like okay today we're this character but if it was an everyday thing of he really wanted me to be a baby girl then no like i just think pedophiles are like actually very sick like twisted they were born wrong and they need to be like sent away yeah i would check his computer like yeah but they need to be like sent somewhere so even

if they're trying like do you know what i mean like to always be fighting that urge to do something that's so i hear you and it is such a danger to society but like what are they supposed to do and i'm i'm like are they allowed to enact it in a safe way with like, I don't know. I'm like a bunch of cops. Cops are like, OK, I wonder what you could put your pigtails in now, ma'am. I wonder what that's like, though. Like, imagine being a parent. Right.

And you you fall. You know, you love your baby. He's a sweet boy. He's kind and then um you know nothing about his sexual preferences or urges but only to find like later on like let's suppose at 19 that he's found out about all his like you know child pornography and his computer like that is a really really like sad thing to go through because you're probably like no this kid is good yeah what do you do well that's like they're like there's a shooting at the school and you're like oh my god

they're like it's your kid when randy's mean to this one dog that's how i feel i'm like oh my god my son's the shooter i feel like parents know when their kid's the shooter that they're like yeah that tracks didn't our guy played the shooter and he did ezra oh our guy i love how he's our guy he's our they they it's our guy wasn't he in we need to talk about what's the i never saw that movie it's such a dark movie um we need to talk about Kevin. Wasn't that Ezra? Miller. Miller? I think.

He's our guy just because we send, we just send each other every clip of him. Yeah. That's so funny because I just asked Dave to explain to me who that person is and he did and I still don't know. There he is. So you've seen The Perks of a Wallflower, right?

No. I read the book. The movie sweet i was like is it black and white he's a really good actor um but he um started acting up getting arrested i think he lived in hawaii for a couple years like just causing a whole lot of shit and then but he's also nonbinary. So all of these articles about him being so disrespectful to people, they're like, they threw a chair in a woman's head. And it's like pretty funny. And like, they're so careful about it.

And there was some weird situation where he might've groomed a young kid or was in contact with an underage child. But then Hollywood has apparently forgiven him in the last two weeks. So now people are like, wait, what the fuck? Because the flash is coming out and they're like this is too much money we gotta forgive him basically basically forgiving all of it because of like mental health reasons oh okay right so

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Technically. Yeah. Yeah. I loved that. Do it again. Some mean, some mean ex girlfriend did that. What? Set that Some mean ex- Wake up! Is that a song? Some mean ex-girlfriend did that. What?

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bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details have you guys ever um met someone and you're like oh i'm not attracted to them maybe this we talked about this earlier oh my god full circle but then you do something super bonding that involves like hours and hours of like just having to spend like intense time making an ikea furniture maybe or anything right like for me it's like diving right and all getting out of an ikea like oh my god how the fuck do people get out of there i don't i cannot imagine

i've gone out of there as many times as i have it's a freaking maze it's so scary i panic all the time yeah go to the salt lake city uh airport it's the same fucking thing i want to play hide and seek in an ikea we're not finding you i i this is gonna be a story of esther sleeping over everybody wins esther's she's hiding. Let's get out of here. Worst. But then you're like, oh my God, like, is there like a weird vibe?

But then you start to think there is no, if there would have never been a vibe had we not like had this like bonding experience. Like what? Can you give me an example of the bonding? Like diving, say for instance. She's basically telling us she fell in love with someone. That's not what I'm saying. Maybe. Look at her face. What the hell? So instance. She's basically telling us she fell in love with someone. That's not what I'm saying. Maybe.

Look at her face. What the hell? She's not shiny. She glows. Who is this person? She's in love. She's pregnant. Who is they?

Are you whitening us? No, it was just a friend. How annoying would it be if she ended up being the pregnant one? I would not be annoyed. I would be so happy. Are you kidding? I would keep the baby now. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. I don't care who knocks me up. I'm keeping the baby. You hear that? Right? You hear that, fans? She fucks fans, too. Get ready.

One. One. No, we, I mean, I'm too, I'm too old for an abortion. I can't. Yeah. Oh, God. I mean, I'd be surprised if I could, if, yeah, if I got pregnant. That's fine.

Anyways. Okay. oh god i mean i'd be surprised if i could if yeah if i got pregnant that's right anyways okay so yeah like i i spent like six hours in the water but it was like really intense there was no vibe it was very like friendly but then like afterwards you're like huh like why am i thinking of this person and i think the same thing for him where it's like, it was so just platonic until it wasn't. But I think it's because of the activity. I think the activity did this. I have a feeling he wasn't seeing you as a sister.

I have a feeling he was going, ooh, maybe if we dive, she'll come to me. You think so? Yeah. Yeah, so it's weird. I think he probably would have followed you into a submarine risk it all wait can we talk about this i know no we need to talk about the fact that we are predicting catastrophes about it i we should really not talk about anything anymore we're

not we killed ray leota who else did we kill well you we killed your ex oh the boy we killed my finger guy your finger guy airplane finger guy i will say i killed billionaires you guys i was one of those girls who i basically talk about not coming up for air that was me with the submersible news like i had no life for eight days or whatever well it was it was like obviously tragic but it was like tiger king in a way it like brought us all together it was so thrilling i also like it was sad though god no it's so sad for sure but i would i would go down to see the titanic i would given the you can't swim you are so full of shit and like so crazy anxiety dread you're gonna go down it's the titanic no you're nonsense we although i will say that that death is not a slow death that like

high pressure death is a very quick you're out of there so maybe maybe i hope he solved his rubik's cube you know dave had never seen Titanic. I made him rewatch it with me. After the thing? Yeah. He'd never seen it. Titanic sells swords. They did.

No, it's like this. Celine Dion's My Heart Won't Go On made it to number 12 again. We are such a... This seems like a movie. Yeah. Well, it's just... This is the power of Titanic.

The story is so... No, it's the power of Esther King the story is so the power of of uh esther king what did they think of the movie well so he first of all this is the most our age differences ever showed because titanic was in theaters in 1998 and that was the year where i was 10 and he was 20 and i saw that movie in theaters five times. I was in love. I was obsessed. And Dave was a cool, too cool for school. He was at Harvard.

But he was too cool. He thought it looked so stupid and cheesy. And he was like, this movie sucks. And he never saw it. So I'm like, we have to watch it. So you're saying he was single. He didn't have a girlfriend. He was like, we got to go watch Titanic.

I feel like he did have a girlfriend which is weird but it was like a Harvard girlfriend they were like ooh what did they scrabble but so he

first of all I will give him credit like there are there's the movie is cheesy but he did admit that he liked it and it was obviously

so good all cheesy movies are great yeah the cheesiest part The Notebook is like one of the worst movies and it's so good is it really one of the worst movies and it's so good is it really one of the worst oh it's so bad they die together come on yeah when i rewatch

that it's and like he's just like we're we fight that's what we do and then it's like raining and so ridiculous i know when i look back at what i also jack dawson is gives me the ick like he's not a he's a broke loser he's pulling her away from a good provider like she's billy zane yeah she's fucking up her whole life she won't even get on a lifeboat because of jack dawson and man she's known for three days a blonde man you know what i was thinking the lowest men in our society blonde men i was just thinking about how you were definitely gonna get on the lifeboat because you look like a child and a woman i thought about the other day i was like she was on that lifeboat i can get two seats now also what if they found out you were jewish what would

happen i they would they'd be like stay in the kitchen but um also the saddest horriblest part of the movie is when like i literally i don't think i would i know i sound like a liar i would not be able to get on a lifeboat and leave behind dave or my dad like it could not do that mom's dead sister's gone no are you kidding my mom is on the lifeboat bye sweetie she's not even smiling just like no very matter of fact do you know that when i was growing up we went to the movies me my mom and my dad and all of a sudden the theater started to fill with smoke just started filling with smoke fast this is a final destination one of my favorites and And I look, my mom gone. I'm a kid. And me and my dad were like, what the fuck?

She literally left without us. Well, did I tell you guys? Did I tell you guys? But then you can't take two. So you needed your mom to do that to relieve you of like when you knew you were already going to pick your dad. If you had to, you know what I mean? Wait, I have definitely done this. What do you mean? And this is when I knew for sure that maybe the boy that I was with, I didn't really, really love.

We were on vacation and the hotel like fire alarm went off. And I don't I'm not one of those like, you know, mosey slowly. Like I if an alarm goes off, I'm out. I'm not taking chances. I don't care if it's a drill. I'm getting the fuck out of there and I'm driving my car the fuck away from there. Like, bye. I'm not going back to class. I'm not like, no like no no you'll not see me for the rest of the day if it's

a bomb threat it's oh there is a bomb there and i'm out i think that's smart yeah i'm walking i'm only one running and everyone's just like it's just a you know whatever i'm like i'll give a shit i'm out goodbye um but um we were on vacation and the fire alarm goes off at five in the morning. I run down like several blocks away from the hotel in a big T-shirt and my underwear and left him. Why do you have to turn into a porn? Nothing but a T-shirt. I was thinking about the Jessica Simpson song. I always think of her just being completely bottomless with just a T-shirt on. Like Winnie the Pooh?

I'm so sorry, but I just realized what you would be doing on the Titanic as it sinks what would I stand up the band you'd push them aside and you'd be like I got this guys any anniversaries any birthday it wasn't wasn't Kathy Bates that character no she got on a lifeboat and she wanted to go back. She played Molly Brown. She wanted to go back and save people. But the guy rowing the boat was like, we'll get swamped and we can't do that. Esther's only seen three movies, but she's seen them so many times.

I know everything. I've also watched a lot of documentaries this past week. Like, okay, wait. So the saddest part of the movie that's so sad, I don't even know why I'm talking about it, but we did try to make it funny, is when they're saying goodbye to the daddy he's like i'm getting on the daddy's boat and he's saying goodbye to his daughter so me and me and dave were just like frozen and in sadness and we've been joking all week like the daddy's boat is coming and it's going to be like the man show there's going to be like strippers

the daddy's boat will be even better you'll wish you were on it all right can i i want to i want to present a new topic okay hey i realized and maybe this will help with your dread topic a little bit i realized i am in a rush all day long and I was like, this is completely self-inflicted. And I think I want to do a challenge where I drive the speed limit for one week and see what happens. That is the most pathetic thing ever. Have you ever driven, wait, you're elderly. Have you ever driven the speed limit?

Yeah, I'm pretty, I'm a grandma driver, but lately I've been kind of a speed demon a little bit. I don't know if I can do it. It's so annoying to drive the speed limit. What about you? Always faster. Oh, I'm speeding. I'm at top a speed demon a little bit. I don't know if I can do it. It's so annoying to ride the speed limit. What about you? Always faster. Oh, I'm speeding. I'm at top speed all the time.

Do you ever get a ticket? No. I've never gotten a ticket either. I got one speeding ticket. You just got to use the breathalyzer. Take it out. Was that a euphemism for blowing? Yeah, you blow the cup.

Oh, I got it. Okay, cool. I've never blown a cup, but there was a cop in New Mexico who got in trouble for- Blowing you? They called me the breathalyzer back in college. No, he got in trouble for like banging people that he pulled over. What?

Yeah, his own camera caught him like banging. I don't know if it was somebody he pulled over, if he was just like cheating on his wife or whatever but it was bad he was on duty and i like looked it up and i was like oh my god that's my friend i know that cop that's my favorite cop i feel i know his kid that feels bad wait you know what i'm not i you guys would probably force me to go to this but um my high school reunion is this weekend no yes no right i'm yeah yes i regret not going to mine we have the internet we don't need we already know who got fat no no i have the best counterpoint we're too reliant upon on the screen digital shit we need more in-person experiences i think we had different high school experiences okay so

i'm with annie if i'm if i'm returning to my high school let's just say it's the last day that school's around i'm with annie because i'm gonna be like drew barrymore and firestarter so high school was horrible for me like it was sad sad. Like people call, you know what I mean? I was like, it was horrible. There's no reason for you to go look at you. You're a gorgeous. No, but it's,

you don't, they just, but not showing up is the coolest move. You peaked. Let's be real. Okay. But yours was a 10 year. You peaked.

Your dread is that you can't go back to high school. That's true. I missed my 10 year. I missed whatever. Has I had, has I had 15 yet oh my god maybe i don't think you're allowed to do that voice no 10 so why did you regret it that was baby talk you sick fuck wait that's the thing you know like baby talk is like a trauma response apparently no listen i baby talk when todd tries to trick me to baby

talk on live when i'm doing lives and it's so embarrassing when you can do it to baby talk in public is so embarrassing but i do it i mean i baby talk everyone in my family maybe not my mom i thought baby talk is like a sign of safety i don't know i read differently so i was like i thought breastfeeding your mom still is oh wait that's what I wanted to tell you guys I breastfed a boy And um It was part of like the role play thing It was so weird

And amazing What has been going on since we last saw you Wait why didn't this come up with the child molester thing I think I forgot Is this the diver guy No nothing has happened with the diver guy also was no nothing has happened with that diver guy was it underwater no it wasn't nothing happened by the way with that other guy like why are you yelling at her is it gonna happen she's in love she's yelling at us

no oh she's mad look she's like you love him i don't love him no this is like in hercules when the girl's like i won't say i'm in i. I can't. Do you think I know Hercules? That's what you think I know? But have you sat there and done a whole... Let my soul hurt. You are such a dork. It's so funny. You guys have never like...

I just really... The fact that I've found a job in bullying you. It's like I was born to bully theater majors and you're such a theater major. It's like crazy. The fact that we have this it's very special

i want to thank you letting the dreams come true but can you just try it with todd when you get home and with dave what sit him on your lap i'm just the baby thing and just breastfeed them can you just try and see how it makes you feel like mama you know i want to know how this happened how did you get there um led up to it it was there was nothing sexual like we were just in bed together it was nothing sexual he came in in a bonnet i was already i had a bra with the strap comes down and he just like grabbed you know like just he just grabbed my my cup. A cup. And then I was like, you want it?

And he was like, mama. He did the whole thing. And then it just turned into this whole, we didn't have sex afterwards. It was just him. We were watching TV and he was like sucking on my tit for like 30 minutes. If we had kids, would you want to have a kid, do you think? What do you mean? If we got pregnant, would you catch it?

What, do I want a kid? If we got pregnant, would you want it? do i want a kid if we got pregnant would you want because she's like who's catching it she's it is a catching thing you caught it last time you caught pregnancy i'm like hit or miss you don't you think you caught it because a lot of your friends from your tv show oh yeah a hundred percent because of doll face uh and then that the season ended and you were like I'm the only one that hangs out all the time. No, but it was like Shay was pregnant and then Brenda was talking about. We were all talking. It was like the hottest women, you know, were getting pregnant.

Yeah. You already worship their existence. Fully baby fever. Yes. But I'm really curious about this non-sexual. It wasn't sexual. We didn't have sex afterwards. The guy. Yeah. Who is this this guy who are we talking about and he didn't okay diver guy and breastfeeding guy are two different people

breastfeeding guy is somebody that i was seeing that i'm no longer seeing title of the episode who is breastfeeding guy question mark question mark but he was he was just really sweet i don't know it was nice i didn't and then nothing happened afterwards it wasn't sexual we were like okay we got up it wasn't sexual no but it was just something to do and again i think he might have been taking it a different way than yeah i'm not having sex with diver guy i just said No you are and nobody even said anything And you just brought it up again We know you're not

Because we know you want it to be very slow Oh yes She doesn't want it to be a fast Submersible death Did I say it right? Submergible? Submersible Submergible? Submersible. You said it right the first time. Submergible, I keep saying.

Wow. I'm very curious about diver guys. I'm ready for Kalilah to... Get pregnant? Too soon, guys. Come on. Nah. How about my...

I'm going on vacation with Bobby in like two weeks. How about my parent-in-law's... No, be pregnant on that. That's funny. Yeah. Make him like deal with it. Get pregnant on that that's funny yeah i can like get pregnant on it make bobby deal with your pregnancy oh my god maybe no we're going on vacation just my family like not not lovers you guys are so weird what the fuck bitch it's fucking so weird

it's my sister's 40th birthday and he asked if he could come i'm like of course you can come where is it to the islands oh really yeah when is her? To the islands. Oh, really? Yeah. When is her birthday? The second. Are you staying in the same room? No. Do all three of you sleep in the same bed? Who?

Me, Jules, and Bobby? No, your sister and Bobby and you. Because you said you always sleep in bed with your sister. And we know you sleep in bed with Bobby. There is a picture of us. And then Rudy sleeps in the bed too jesus christ there is a picture of bobby in the middle of my sister and i like sandwiching him in bed but that was just for the photo that wasn't like you know we don't do that usually that's like such a hot asian family's family sick fuck they're a little sister hottie sisters in bed no you're sick you've never had a sister have you molested a kid with a doll you doll molester

you're sick you're sick you're sick please like play this video three times through click the notification bell like we are desperate and also we know that you guys are who truly get us we know that you'll hook us up and help us out with the algorithm comments whatever the fuck we love you and we'll see you guys next week with a brand new episode bye