Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Three-Way Kiss Karaoke

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors:   Therabody - Try Theragun for 30 days starting at only one hundred ninety-nine dollars at https://therabody.com/trashtuesday Stitch Fix - Get started today by filling out your style quiz at https://stitchfix.com/tuesday   Ettitude - Get 20% off your order, plus free shipping, when you visit https://ettitude.com/tuesday and enter promo code TUESDAY  Nutrafol - Go to https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code TRASH to save $15 off your first month’s subscription + free shipping Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started hey you guys i am

coming to salt lake city january 14th and 15th get tickets at estherIce.com and I'm also coming to Austin, Texas, February 24th to 26th. Come see me at Cap City Comedy Club. EstherOnIce.com Today's episode. There you go. Hey guys, I have a brand new date added. I will be at the La Jolla Comedy Store next week, November 19th through 21st.

The Philadelphia Punchline November 26th through 27th for Thanksgiving. The Irvine Improv December 2nd, one night only. Off the Hook in Florida, January 25th through 26th. The Bananas Comedy Club in Hasbrook Heights, New Jersey, December 16th through 18th. Go to AnnieLetterman.com slash shows for all of my other dates. this outfit well i figured for kalilah's birthday um because i did think this was on thursday he texted me a reminder last night like oh shit um i thought i would dress up like an animal she loves animals i do dress up like an animal i was gonna dress up like

you but i just wore your outfit i do love a good animal print and i am so i'm a rescue jealous of this outfit are you still hung over from your party i i am yeah this is i was gonna call you yesterday but then he told me that we were coming in so i wanted to say it's kalilah's birthday episode look did you dress like a man she used to bang or something what are the shoes i mean they're too big the shoes my shoes fit they look i need some size 12s on you um esther if you if you jump into some size 12 shoes i might yeah i might get turned on enough to go for it i'll just put this over yeah no that, no, that is crazy. It's Kyle's birthday today.

Like, yeah, I guess I just kind of like forgot to like do something for it. You could have easily. Maybe. I dress in a ball gown for your birthday. Let's not forget that. But I have a question. What?

How many edibles are you on and can I have the exact same amount? I'm actually on nothing i'm a little hazy from last night if i'm being honest i big party with popcorn nothing happened last night but i just took a lot of edibles right before i went to bed just because i forgot to take them during the day i was like i gotta catch up I have to keep my tolerance. Now this is, we have your actually, your medicinal marijuana nurses here.

Carlos. Carlos. Did you give her her dosage? Are you the one that told her? Last night? No. No, like in general. She's been doing it on her own now, which is great. Oh, she's, okay. Carlos, how are you handling the tension in the room with Annie in this sexy outfit? I know, I didn't even realize my stalker's here.

I'm lucky that you're wearing this bodysuit right now. I feel it. Why? I mean, I never really see you that, like, revealing. I feel like it's just a little different. But I'm into it secretly. Annie, what's the sitch? Is there, like, a pee hole?

Or do you have to take it all down? Where does your penis fit? No, no, no. There's so much to sift through underneath too. My penis. I tuck it back. I have to tell you, Todd, I tell Todd, I love him all the time except for two times. When he's too drunk and when he manginas, when he tucks his penis and comes out.

It's like we need to get you a guy friend. I want to hire when I – this okay business manager okay I want to hire a bro to just like be around until he gets out of the shower for him to like flick his balls out and like do the things boys like to do okay we're not gonna do that but you just get meet him get him some friends some guy friends no I already I told you know I told Todd when we first started dating no more friends I said if you want to told Todd when we first started dating no more friends I said if you want to meet my friends

I have to never meet yours we're leveling up I want to ask you guys about that if you really liked the guy but his friends just didn't align like you hated his friends

like is that a red flag or is that a turn off for you where you were like ugh like if they're childhood friends no that's fine you're childhood friends you have no control over what happens that's so true oh my god I have stories they're like, ugh. If they're childhood friends, no. That's fine. You're childhood friends. You have no control over what happens.

That's so true. Oh my god, I have stories. They're like history, so that's fine. But if you have new friends and they are at a vibrational level that if they touch me I'll scream, they gotta go. Which he has a couple of those where I'm like, no, we can say hello and move on.

We're not associating with these. Is that abusive? But that's so right about childhood friends. Like there's a radical acceptance of them because you have this like deep history with them. But it's like I have one friend in particular who is so rude and mannerless and so just utterly – Were you friends as a child? I don't remember knowing you. And just like so not

what you would like if you were to see me you'd be like no that can't be Kalilah's friend but she's my friend and I love her to death

but she's so you just described everyone in your life yeah you did Bobby, me George George is rule-less the way George just

but I can't let her go like I cannot sever ties with her because I'm like I've known you since I was a kid. Is she going to know who she is if she listens to you? Yeah, because she fucking stayed here this weekend and she left the fucking house a mess. And she didn't even say bye or happy birthday to me.

I actually like her so much. I like that girl. I really like, I feel a visceral connection to her. Who is it? Danny. I think I know who you're talking about. I love that bitch. Who? I really do, I feel a visceral connection to her. Danny. I think I know who you're talking about. I love that bitch. I really do.

But I sense that and I like that. She has no rules. Esther, you were good. You were, I want to say at Kalilah's party, you were. We had a party. We had a karaoke party in K-Town. I was a fan of Party Esther. Why?

Party Esther is an animal. Esther was, okay, I don't know. I had a front row view of Esther. But Esther was, Esther was doing a bit in front of, in front of Dave we called a bit. Where she was in a lesbian

relationship with Kalilah. Oh, I literally forgot about this. And what was so, this was my favorite moment when Esther was like trying to like freestyle sing. I don't know if another song was on, but she was like, I want to sing something to Kalilah. Is there something that rhymes with Kalilah? And she's like, hey there, Kalilah.

It was like so perfect. But I feel like no one heard me except for you. No, that's what I, that's why I want to let them know what happened. And she kept going, hey guys, I just want to like, Kalilah and I have been planning this for a while. George, will you play the video of Esther? Oh, do you have the video? Yeah.

Look at those hips. Aaron! And Kalilah and I won't think of you. Aaron! Why did you know she was the one? I knew you were the one to do it. Poor Dave. I'm inebriated.

It's just so good. You know what's even better is that R. Kelly's Ignition is playing in the background. But it's not the remix. It wasn't the remix. That wasn't upsetting. Who was saying that's a karaoke mistake 101? Dave, probably. Dave is very serious about the rules and like the art of karaoke. I felt like he really led the charge there.

Were you expecting Jenna to not be like crawling, straddling? Well, I was just laughing because I knew she was on her period because of her underwear. She like lifted her underwear up and she just had like big grandma underwear. Yeah. And then she was like straddling you. And I was like, if she got off of you and there was a blood stain on your stomach, I would have died. You were rooting for that. I was like, if she got off of you and there was a blood stain on your stomach, I would have died. You were rooting for that. I just, I was like, please leak. I have a picture of my head underneath her dress at that exact moment you're talking about. And I actually knew

she was on her period and I forgot until I got under there and I saw what was like, oh God, this could be a really bad situation. As long as you saw and didn't smell. I didn't smell. Yeah. Good girl. Yeah. She was good. She was good on that front. You guys, I'm going to be honest. I'm harboring a secret. Uh oh. And I can't keep it in anymore. She's drinking now. No.

Brace myself. I would like to present my birthday present to Kalilah. Oh no, it's Carlos. Oh no. And it's wait no not that you stupid fucking idiot this is why you don't get paid this is why you don't make money carlos are you fucking kidding me what is this guy all of a sudden she's like i'm hunter biden three days

three days is hunter biden rich probably. If you're the president's son, you're rich. And you do drugs, yeah. You're rich. I feel like a president's son. You are the Hunter Biden, I think. Oh, of this podcast? Yes. Wait, then what are we? I'm also the Chet Hanks. I have a lot of the things. I'm all of them.

I'm a rich man's son. Yes, you have rich man's son energy. I have to start wearing more hats. Politician's son energy. I always say that there's like certain hats that you see when people take like a hat risk. You're like, your dad's famous, right? You can just tell. No, I feel like I'm a Chelsea Clinton.

Oh, that's, we've got to stop. Honestly, I was watching her body and I was, I was not watching. Her body or mine? Yours. Oh, yeah. I'm just gazing into your, well, they're sunglasses, but into your. Yeah, it's been a rough weekend. No, but I, we have to stop with your self-deprecation.

It's, you're in a level of looks. You and your sister, by the way, I got there early to the karaoke party. Yeah. I'm actually nervous around your sister. She's so pretty. I didn't speak. I was silent. We both kind of like looked at each other awkwardly.

I feel like I had a weird vibe with your sister too because I didn't know how to act. My sister loved you guys. She's just a beautiful Amazonian type. No, you both are like – and she put this wig where I'm like, bitch, what are you even doing? Now you're taking another look. It's like – and then I got to say, I don't even want to like say this into the universe, but I think it's just the truth and we have to admit it. Rudy is looking so gorgeous.

The three of you, I was like, how are we allowed here? This is so weird. And we just can't. I can't play the shoulder game with you anymore. You're like a fucking supermodel. I can't pretend that there's anything wrong with you. So I'm not the Chelsea Clinton. I will stretch your labia out so it hangs longer or something.

Oh, my God. I don't know what else we can do. I just sent Esther a video of um me fucking myself ew that was her birthday present i gotta tell you guys on your birthday i want to tell you i'm the straightest one here and i'm i'm okay with this i have no you are so straight i have no homo fomo if you know what i mean wait esther who are you but i do kind of want to see hunter biden i don't get offended. Hunter Biden.

Chelsea Clinton. You guys got to help me out with this. I don't know politician children. Tiny Tim. Was he a politician's child? What about Jack? What about Jack, the thing that- Jack Osborne. No, the little kid that-

Jack Osborne. Actually, I'll give you Jack Osborne. That's good. I meant Jack, the- I love the Osbournes. Me too. Robin Williams character. Aw.

Where he was like the old little kid. Yeah. Was his dad famous? Wait. Where is my birthday present? I have a present for you too. Okay. But it's not going to be as good as this.

So, no. That is some dumb bit that Carlos came up with where- I didn't come up with it. Oh. Carlos, come here. Bend over. Carlos, take your punishment. Yeah, it. Oh, bend over. Carlos, take your punishment.

Yeah. Wait, Amazon women. Okay. What is the punishment? Just come back over and shut the fuck up. You'll find out. Yes,

you are bending over and you're taking your pants down too. You have to, you have to. Carlos is even fitter than Kalilah. Why is that? Did he wear his New Mexico? Turn around. Turn around, boy. Carlos is even fitter than Kalilah. Why is there a T on there? Did he wear his New Mexico theme for me at San Fe? Turn around.

Turn around, boy. Did you, by the way, did you, how many slivers of seaweed have you eaten today? Manorexic piece of shit. You're blocking my camera. Bend over. Oh my God, your penis is just out. Carlos, you have a big penis. It's always bodies like his that have big penises. Just bend over. Oh my God, your penis is just out. Carlos, you have a big penis. It's always bodies like his that have big penises.

Bend over. All right, so what am I doing? Bend over. Do what you do at most of your jobs. Like towards Kalilah? Yeah. Your legs are so nice. Like for a girl though.

Carlos, shave them. But you know how a girl's... Oh my God, you should transition. You would be cute. Supermodel body. You would be bald though. That would be weird. No, I don you should transition. You would be cute. Super model body. You would be bald though. That would be weird. No, I don't think so.

You'd be a bald woman. Wait, put on the Marilyn Monroe wig. You got me. Wait. Yeah, put on the Marilyn Monroe wig. It'll look so good on you because you don't have hair. I know, but...

Yeah, actually... No. This is going to be... This is going to go the whole episode. Don't worry. I love how... The punishment will happen at the very end. George's new hire has just become like...

George is so happy that it's not him. Take your hat off. Wait. I love your hair. Oh my God, you look like Norman Bates. I thought you were saying

Norm Macdonald. In the end... It's like I'm about to kill someone. You look like you work at Norm's. I love Norm's. All right, bend over, bitch. Come on, baby girl. And he just rubbed the tip of his dick like, here, I'll do Alright, bend over, bitch. Come on, baby girl.

Annie just rubbed the tip of his dick like, here, I'll do it, I'll do it. Give me a boner. Oh my god! This is where we finally really is gay. Annie, whoever can get him a boner first. It's the light touches. Kalilah, what? Kalilah, I took...

What the fuck is she doing? I got new nunchucks. But I took Lexapro four hours ago. Wait, you can still get a bone. You probably just can't climax very well. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wait, is it working, Carlos?

Where's my belt? Is this cheating? Annie, that's a hard and heavy call. You're jerking off my friend. The cold metal is not going to work The hot wood is But Kalilah's doing it like really well For YouTube we can't It's wood on wood

Literally this is like I want Carlos to sit in that chair but with it that way Carlos Hold that chair but this direction We're like We're like doing everything we've ever dreamed of to Carlos all at once. I need you to sit on a mat like this. Imagine what he'd do if we actually paid him money.

Wait, Carlos. Carlos, that's Amazon style. Here, can I fuck you Amazon style? Yes. Go get on your back. Whose birthday is it? I think I've had sex like this before, actually. Let me show you.

Liar. Yeah, what was his name? You have to get on your back. Li name? You have to get on your back. Liar? You have to get on your back. I've never had sex. Liar. Steve and Bobby did this last week, but I think I can do it better than them.

Okay, get on. Yeah. I should put my pants on. Yeah, your pants are probably. They might rip, though, so you're going to go. His pants might rip. Look, why is he so good at a, like, a stirrups position? Oh.

And I think it's like this. Damn. It's like Samoan. It's like, hey. McCall's your boner. What? He has a boner? He has a boner?

He has no boner. He has a boner. There's no boner. You should be yelling there's no boner. You should have a boner right now. Oh my God, you don't. You don't have a boner? What are you, gay? You don't have a boner what are you gay you don't have a boner you know i've been having issues with this and i told you about it really i told you can't get

boners on camera anymore no i told esther i finally got a boner yesterday at the weed store oh really that's how good that fucking keef was you're like oh shit look at that one hitter thank you for doing that happy birthday to me carlos ah okay what esther what's your can you beat that gift yes i think i can you understand that i thought when i texted you last night i thought that we were doing this on thursday and i wasn't just giving you like that's why i was like what's wrong with this bitch i came up with the best idea I guess I'll just present my gift to Kalilah um because I can't hold it in anymore is it pee pee

put on ignition remix it's a little bit it's a it's a little strange I think it's not a traditional gift I'll start with that um what's a traditional gift from you socks oh my god i'm like getting really nervous so okay it's here's the thing is that it's not ready ready like i have a photo of it that i'm going to show you this is like telling someone your gift arrived in six days and then giving them a little like i know that's what you think it is but it's not quite like that. Okay. So I'm so nervous. Carlos, do you have any other thoughts of how to set this up? I think just go for it. I'm just trying to see if the nerves are fake.

What's going on here? No, she's actually nervous. Just dive in. It's not just a dance, is it? No, it's not a dance. It's something coming from outside the room. I can't live without my Theragun. I'm just going to say it.

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Okay. Did you guys, did anyone here see my Instagram yesterday? No, I blocked you. I blocked you months ago. No. No. Oh my God. What is it? What was it? Yes, I did see. You got got a tattoo i did see your instagram did you get a tattoo it better stop it esther no this cannot be real it's not real it's real. I want to get a tattoo of Dave and then divorce you. I want to say Dave.

Show me your arm. This is so funny. That is, you're crazy. It's not real. It is real. It is actually real. I think she would have just given you her location. I don't think you needed to do that.

I think you could have just asked. She's kind of into you. I don't know if you need to do her show me all right show me i hope they spelled it wrong okay before you get too uncomfortable there is a caveat it's semi-permanent it it is semi-permanent but it does last 15 months will it outlast the podcast guys what is the tattoo i got a tattoo on my arm that says kalilah and uh yeah it's it's this place called ephemeral tattoo i literally just read about it i read this article about it and it's semi-permanent so they add them like real, they do it like a real tattoo but the ink disappears after

15 months. Esther, that's 15 months of devotion. Yes. Until my next birthday. Are you uncomfortable? I, here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. I've been with Bobby for 8 years

and he has never shown like a big gesture of love like this so you can do anything for the next 15 months and I'll probably love you regardless

like you can light my house on fire that's what tattoo that's what that's what the tattoo gets you just a free pass at anything

sexual sexual as well. You kill me. You just hunt me with my outfit. This is a good outfit to get shot to death in. Wait, should we all get each other's names? I mean, if it's 15 months, I'll do it. Yeah.

Now, when I tell you that Dave was upset that I did this. When I tell you that there was a fight. But you did it. I like that you did it before talking to him no I he knew and he was like wow are you serious he was like if we get married this will be in all of our photos

oh yeah you can't get married for 15 well we just postponed the wedding I literally thought I don't know okay what is I was like this is a great idea. But now I call Bobby and show him. I'm actually nervous to tell Bobby.

Why? Like, is he going to be like, you're a freak. Like, you're obsessed with him. Are you worried about if Bobby Lee thinks you're a freak? If Bobby Lee thinks you're normal, you're in trouble. Oh my God, Esther, I love it so much. No, I think it's great. Really?

You guys, okay. I knew my trash fucking slugs would be on board. We should get each other's names now for Christmas. I'll do it, yeah. Okay, here we go. Thank you. I will wash them and prepare them. Oh my God.

Annie went to the boot barn and got me silver cowboy boots. This is a price tag zone. At a zero. They were on the opposite of sale. Oh, God. Annie. I hope they fit. They didn't have that many options,

but I did like the sparklies. It's so annoying that that's clearly a better gift than mine. No, no, no. Yours is a better gift, and it definitely should have gone second. But you know what else I'm getting you, but it's not,

I thought of it in the shower today. I'm getting you, I'm buying you a thought of it in the shower today i'm getting you um i'm buying you a merkin what's a merkin it's a it's a wig it's a toupee for your vagina because you have no hair that's really funny we're gonna get you a merkin what a sad day if the bush is fully back and i just cannot be on board with that look at her vagina dude those do you see her those boots look hot on her keep showing me me the boots. Her vagina is through the boot. She's like this, and you can just see the vag. Thank you so much.

I mean, there's underwear, but is it American flag underwear? It's a... Like a good refugee. Oh, my God. Like, Kalilah, when you were in your outfit, the outfit she wore to karaoke was, like, crazy. Her body's, like, another level. Like, obviously, she was born with, like like a gifted body. But the Peloton. Gifted shoulders and that.

I always say I have childbearing shoulders. The – yeah, the body is – it's unbelievable. Thank you. It's a rig. It's meant for work. My trainer wants to cold plunge with us. Wants to what? Wants to – she has like a cold plunge with the place she's staying.

Oh, a cold plunge. I've always wanted to do that. I like, but it's always. I've always wanted to drop you into a cold bucket of water. That's so weird. I have a feeling.

I've always wanted to pour water over your face while you can't breathe. I'm really cold intolerant, so I might be the first one out, but I. Oh, really? I think I would be the first one out.

But don't you think if you, well, we should definitely do like obstacle course style stuff. We'll have her set stuff up. Okay. Is there a sauna right next to it? Yeah. Okay, good.

Oh, I fucking love a sauna. We'll try to beat Rogan's. How long was Rogan in that ice bath? He looked like he was either coming or struggling. I couldn't tell. Now, we went to like a Halloween party whitney threw to celebrate like her i saw that her drink june shine drink yeah and then afterwards i got a text from annie that said you missed the flames and i still don't really fully know what she meant well guys let's just say

things got heated at whitneymings' June Shine party. What happened? Okay, so Esther showed up for two minutes. It was actually so fucking annoying. There was a photo booth in the back. I turn around, she's gone. It was so crowded. Didn't you feel like it was a really crowded party?

But here's how I feel. As a little, like, mouse-sized person, you shouldn't care about the size. You can weave in between legs. There's so much space for you for me I've got to bump into shoulders like collylate chest you can just you have that like center of gravity that low center of gravity that low but I could see you getting knocked around yeah honestly I just felt like because there are people coming and like who are

not our friends. Right. It was weird. And some were our friends, but they were in makeup and I didn't couldn't tell. Also, also, there is a vaccine requirement to get in. And I saw people there who are like actively anti-vax. Oh, I know exactly who you're talking about. Of course you do. Who I didn't recognize, by the way.

No. I had no clue that person was there. I was a slut shaman, a slutty shaman. I did four or five costumes this Halloween. And this one was my favorite. It's like Paris Hilton's 21st birthday party, how she celebrated it five times. Each decade. Well, I just don't want to wear the same thing. I feel like I'm creative. I can use my brain. I can come up with a new one. I did kind of blow it on bangs. I'm not going to lie.

Being girl with bangs was – but I thought that was funny. And then Esther was like, no, they look great. I'm like, okay. They did. Thank you. I think you should get bangs. Oh, you're a bitch. Mark this moment.

That's a saboteur. You're going to see. I'm going to get bangs because of that. Like, they looked so good. You have a different situation going on. That's not true. We both have round, wide faces. And mine is worse than yours.

What is the criteria for bangs looking good on a face? I actually don't know. It has to, all I'll say is every time I've asked for bangs, I've been told absolutely not. Like I've never – My every hair dresser? Even the lady that was giving me the clip-ons was like, no. Oh, really? And I was like, lady, it's going to be funny.

Just give them to me. I had to talk her into it. And then they fit on Randy and they looked so cute on Randy. They did. I saw that. Okay. So I was a slut shaman. So I wore my – the outfit that was supposed to come in for my friar tuck, slutty friar

tuck outfit was this slutty little dress. So I put this slutty little dress on. I got a cultural appropriated like Native American chest piece from the costume store. I put lots of hairspray on. I like teased my hair really big. And I drew an eye on my forehead and I put like a fake eyelash on it. And I got a bucket and I couldn't find fake vomit so I had like a a plastic turd which honestly you kind of like

look like you but I was like oh my god twins twin costumes um no but so I I had the turd in there I had incense a thing of sage and a joint okay and And I was walking around as a slutty ayahuasca shaman. So I had the bucket with me, and I had the incense lit, and I was walking around with the incense. I think it was a pretty cool costume, right? Interactive. Then I'm sitting at the table with Benton and a bunch of other hot gay guys. There was one guy just painted in gold.

He was so hot. And then his boyfriend was a gold digger. It was cute. Oh, that's cool. But they were so hot. And they were like, let's smoke this joint. Missed opportunity for me. Let's smoke this joint. Let's smoke this joint. I know his boyfriend was a gold digger. It was cute. Oh, that's cool. But they were like so hot. And they were like, let's smoke this joint. Missed opportunity for me.

Let's smoke this joint. Let's smoke this joint. I know. One is Kalilah. Missed opportunity. One is Kalilah. Bobby should just be all in gold and I could just be myself.

That's our costume. Fuck. But anyway, so someone's like, let's smoke the joint. And Benton, who I've never smoked weed with in my life, I didn't even know he smoked weed,

was like, let's smoke. Let's smoke. So I'm like, all right. I'm like, we're inside this bar. And they're like, well, you have so many in my life, I didn't even know he smoked weed, was like, let's smoke. Let's smoke. So I'm like, all right. I'm like, we're inside this bar. And they're like, well, you have so many other things smoking they won't be able to tell. So I get the bundle of sage and the joint.

And I have this brilliant plan. I light the incense in the bucket, which is sitting on the table here. And I light the sage and the joint at the same time. We're passing the joint and the sage. And people are smoking it like this, holding the sage and smoking the joint. OK. It gets passed around one time before the guy, the security guard comes sage and people are smoking it like this holding the sage and smoking the joint okay it gets passed around one time before the guy the security guard comes over and goes you can't like what are you doing you guys can't smoke in here and right as he comes over in my hair engulfs

in flames my hair extension catches on fire it's i'm patting it out it's it's absolutely insane like i'm the biggest flamer at the table now. I couldn't believe it. Like it was like I was in shock. I was like, this couldn't be funnier. It's not my real hair. It's fine. You didn't stop, drop and roll. I didn't have to.

But I did. I did stop, drop and touch my rolls. It was long. And then so then my hair burns. I'm like, oh, my God, there's like little peas. I'm like, oh, my God. And then I go to Whitney. I'm like, my hair just, there's like little peas. I'm like, oh my God. And then I go to Whitney. I'm like, my hair just got on fire.

She goes, did you catch it on camera? She was like, she couldn't have said it faster. Was it on camera? I was like, I don't know. I hope. And her guy said in post, I'll add flames if you didn't get it. But it was so funny. And then Todd wanted to stay, but I was like, listen, I can ruin a party with my personality.

I can ruin it with my loudness, with whatever, with my making out breath. That's my thing. Doth does project. I can't ruin a party with the smell of hair. It turned into like a murder mystery party where everyone was like, what happened? What's going on? Everyone was sniffing around. I was like, it's me.

I can't be the thing. Everyone's sniffing around. Well, you know, the only thing I want to know as your business manager is did it ruin your hair extensions? I immediately went and bought new ones the next day. Well, people are like, oh my God. I was like, it's okay. I'll just buy more. But I brought the hair extension. It might still smell. Can I clip it on my head right now? Yeah, it still smells a little bit. So there's like, they're singed on the end. Oh no. smells a little bit so there's like they're singed on the end oh no beautiful blonde locks i got a better color match yeah anyway that color looks dark now after karaoke esther um a small

group of us um decided we were going to go to the strip club this smells like did you go to strip club do you want and esther declined can you believe that dave had had enough it was just it was I you know what I in my head in the moment I was like I'm too tired I won't enjoy it but you know what now I know we need to plan a different thing before we go to a strip club yeah well Carlos we got there and it was too late and they didn't let us in but um oh really we did it was a valiant effort no it was the fuck it was all it was almost It was just me and Kalilah. The fuck? It was almost. Didn't get a boner. Jenna was there.

It wasn't just me and Kalilah. What are you trying to prove? Yeah, I know. I can't imagine Jenna being like, I'll sit this one out. I liked how much Jenna was singing. I thought it was funny. Yeah. Jenna's a ham.

I was having a Jenna appreciation night. Yeah, Jenna's an absolute ham. I was like, I love seeing you hanging out with Kevin Bacon, not to be weird. She's like, it's not weird, but it is like, he is just my friend's dad. And I was like, I know. That hanging out with Kevin Bacon not to be weird she's like it's not weird but it is like he's just my friend's dad and I was like I know that's why I thought it was weird on a farm they're just hanging out with goats and stuff

and a guitar are they on the footloose grounds I'm like is he just always on the footloose set it was really fun though I had a great time and I hate karaoke but i was i'm warming up to it off to go more i had a really good time um with your boyfriends oh they're great yeah interesting you know they they took shots with me oh yeah that was cute oh yeah i think todd and dave are so fun yeah they're gonna have fun together in hawaii yeah i'm gonna have a lot

of fun with them i know bob. Bobby's not coming, right? He doesn't know yet. Okay. Todd might just be with George. He's going to have to get to work. Nothing else to do. Bobby hasn't gone to a single one of my birthday parties in eight years. Oh, how do you feel about your birthday party? Like, was that like a successful one? Like, yeah, I didn't know exactly like what my sister was planning, who was going to be there. I just know she was like, yeah, let's do karaoke, you know. And so that was really sweet of her. I was I just I felt like I I didn't have a clever costume.

Usually I always have something like I was Takashi last year. It's like honestly, I've literally never seen anything like it. You looked like a like a goddess, Native American Barbie doll. What were you I was a cowgirl she was so in this pink like seersucker

it was like I truly have never I mean you're a goddess I don't know what else to say you're no longer allowed to be in the self-deprecating well let me tell you the weekend

took a toll on everything there's a reason why I'm wearing sunglasses like my body is shot to shit well because you don't usually drink. I don't drink. And I was taking it down. Well, you saw.

I had two bottles of Don Julio, like, there. Oh, did you? Yeah. I was just shot after shot after shot. I actually didn't see. I don't, like, I have no awareness of alcohol until people are wasted. Oh, yeah. I don't even know this.

I don't have that awareness of it either. But I wasn't, like. I took a shot of Don Julio. Ooh, he's a bad relapse-y boy. Come here, Carlos. Yeah, Carlos, you shouldn't be drinking. What the fuck? I didn't know he would.

You're sober, Carlos? I offered you that drink. Well, I was sober for over 10 years. No, he didn't relapse there. Oh, my God. Not on my birthday, right? No, I relapsed. What did Dave say to you?

That's more drastic than the tattoo. Dave was like, hey, is it okay if you take this shot? Everything's going to be all right. And I was like, yeah, it's fine. And yeah, it was totally fine. Oh, my God. I have a sudden feeling of dread. Why?

I'm not into alcohol. He drinks it all. Yeah. No, he's always drinking. He's a bad boy. You need to stop, Carlos. I never drink. But why? He wasn't doing it bad. Yeah. No, he's always drinking. He's a bad. He's a bad boy. You need to stop, Carlos. I never drink. But why?

He wasn't doing it bad. He wasn't. Is that the kind of tone you want to take with one of the stars of the show here? I know. George, get your. Why am I drinking? We're going to start charging you to work on this show. We know we can't take any money away because you're not being paid.

Annie's had this joke for years. Oh, it's a funny joke. That I don't get paid at any job. No, you get paid as being a son. What about at the dog rescue? Your rich dad sends you money. I got paid at the dog rescue. How much is the dog rescue paying, by the way?

They paid you in kibble? A decent amount. They pay in love and experience and money. They didn't make you bring your own dog treats? They let you use their dog treats? Yes, I could steal them if I wanted to. You never did. You never stole them from me. Okay, well, that would have been too big of a haul. own dog treats they let you use their dog treats yes i could steal them if i wanted to you never did you never stole them for me okay well that would have been too big of a haul esther we really

at the airport we have to have you crawling around as a dog yeah we have to try it muzzle her please muzzle you i'm the muzzled i'm the only owner that gets if you if you walk her like a dog you're in the muzzle. Guys, we should do an episode. Do you know that in high school? Now I'm like, is Kalilah high today? I know. I was kind of hoping you would be on edibles. The dirty little knot so secret about the bedding aisle is that while cotton might be the most popular fabric for sheets, duvets, and pillowcases, it's also the most damaging to our planet. And even organic cotton

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U.S. customers for a limited time. Plus free shipping on every order. Get $15 off at Nutrafol.com spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com slash trash. Oh, wait, I have something for you guys. My my I don't really know what to call her. My girl that helps me with things that's so cute. She made these for your personal hype, man. Thank oh my god gifts upon gifts um esther came in here yeah she just made them she came in she was like i thought maybe you guys could like give these out to people oh that's so cute she's got good ideas porsche i have um shout out porsche thank you for these um esther came in here and the first thing she said she was like Coco what's no nut November oh come on what is it though what is it why don't you guess what it is do you think it's about food allergies almonds no I'm no nut November sounds like a guy who doesn't come for a month but why would that

be a thing that's like bad for your prostate but it's good for your creativity builds up that root is that true like i'm genuinely curious why is this a thing i think there are people who are obsessively masturbate to porn who just do it every day without thought as sort of this thing to just you know how you are really porn she sent you of herself i do want to see it but are you here's the thing are you being like a real are you coming for real are you doing like a a show for her i'm doing a show yeah i'm just basically fingering my own asshole my old i didn't actually see she deleted it graphic anything it was too much no it just i don't know why she's i it's just i don't want to get in

trouble when my fiance watches the show anymore you The fact that you still have a fiance is like the miracle of the world. Dave is, Dave has never been down with anything you've ever said. No. I've known you a long time. It's never been Dave going, these are great ideas. I love the way you're making me look. And you've taken it to a new level where I'm so impressed with Dave. I think he might actually like you. I think he might be into you. No, Dave is a good guy. He's a good boy.

He's doing a good job. He's a good person. I understand he's a professional man. People know you. You're a power couple of sorts. Yeah. Should we do No Nut November? Sure.

What would that mean? We don't come. I've got to blow Todd. I mean, this is so mean. But what does that do for you? Where I don't come? What do you mean, college? No Nut College? Yeah, I feel like that's...

The whole guys were banging. When I was in the sock, I'm like, I could have been a fucking sock. A sock with eyes? I did the knob-nob challenge once, which is one month without booze and without masturbation. Okay. Very uncomfortable. Where's the bell? Go well.

Like by the end of it, you're jerking off in a whiskey bottle because it wasn't no sex. It was just no, uh, no masturbation. Oh, I can do that. That I should not have called. And then like by day 30, your wife was going to sleep. Your baby was crying. Your wife was years ago. Wait, I have a question about that, George.

I just imagine being George's ex and hearing his voice on the other line, wanting to rekindle things. What do you think that sounds like? Hello? Are you? What could that? What did you say?

What's the sound that pushing your glasses up me wait george do you sext no okay no you don't seem like a sex I never I'm not really a sexer anymore because I've really it's it never I was always like kind of faking what does your wife think that like you're at this show all the time and, like, Kalilah's labia's out, like, Annie's asshole? Like, what is... Gaping her... My hemorrhoids just hanging out. Hang out, like, my hemorrhoids.

Like, Annie's always naked. Like, what's... It's work. It's work. Okay. Esther, what are you? Just watching? You sick, sick little boy.

Esther, someone else told me you killed two at the comedy store it wasn't just me really one of the waitresses that's crazy yes bitch do not hear the laughs i don't know what i feel i don't know what i feel with my stand-up but i did it's good thank you you should go see her it's good also i gotta do this okay i don't even like her i kind of find her to be one of the more annoying people i've ever met sleep Sleepover by Esther is so good. It's so good, Esther. I spend money, okay? I buy a lot of, like, I have, like, a chunk of money that I spend on sweatpants.

Like, this is my thing. Here's what I'll say about especially the pants. So good. Top and bottom are great. Is that it makes my waist look smaller because the band is exactly how I like it. It's the length of your shoulders. It's as wide as your shoulders. No, but it's so comfortable.

It's just, it's so, it honestly is very, very becoming. It's flattering. Very flattering. I'm so glad you guys like it. I mean, so much. I've been wearing it every day. I wore it every day in a desert. It brings me so much.

It truly sparks joy because it's like for me it's just like a fun hobby where I'm like I can make things as nice as I you know. She has someone else make them which is so funny. Oh yeah no I don't do it. No but you you going guys this moves me like this is so nice to her. Guys this moves me. I'm so

excited. I'm thrilled. Why does it just sound like Trump but tired? Did I sound like Trump? No that's what I sound like. Because I'm thrilled why does it just sound like Trump but tired did I sound like Trump no that's what I sound like no yeah you're you're just um you'll be relaxed and sleepover by Esther I get no kickbacks for this honestly it actually hurts my heart to help her this they're so good they're so comfortable it's the only annoying part is that they're very like noticeable so that you can't wear them every day that's why i did i'm doing some solid colors coming up so like if you're embarrassed of wearing the pink ones every day like you can blend in better uh you

really did burn i burn the shit they went up you have to understand like they don't look burned they they were engulfed like it was going up up. Like I almost didn't have lips. That was almost the last night I had lips. Dude, that's really scary. Is it banana break time? Yeah. I just swallowed a little too deeply. Uh-oh. Something wiggling in there?

I'm just old. Old, festering cum. How old are you? 37. I was thinking about it too. I kept looking at myself in the mirror. I was old are you? 37. I was thinking about it, too. I kept looking at myself in the mirror. I was like, am I 37? I don't feel it.

I feel like a kid. Yeah. People say that, though, at 90, it's never going to stop. I think we're just all pretend adults. Nothing is real. Esther will. Yeah, no, everyone's just a tall baby. Like, you're just a tall kid.

You don't change. It's just you get a little more responsible. You have't change. It's just you get a little more responsible. You have different ideas. It is freaky that everyone consistently says that the time goes by so fast. They haven't hung out with you. They should watch Esther Club, actually. Watch Old Everglades with Esther Club. Your life will slow down.

I was watching a clip of us when we were doing either Esther Club or my podcast. We were Zooming and a dog attacked you. It's like one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It's the best one. You're like, I feel like I'm taking this over. I'm like, why? Are you falling asleep? Is it boring?

And then some dog. Your parents' house. Your parents' dog or your old dog attacked you. It's one of the funniest things. He's very, Pepper is very aggressive. She started crying. Should we call Bobby and show him your tattoo?

Yes. Yeah, I'm scared. Yeah. What are you scared about? Well, maybe he's on set, but let's try. I just feel like he's going to be like, that's weird.

Like that's, he'll be like, you're worried about people saying that's weird when they look at you. Oh, santino's calling me should i pick it up yeah you know i called and i was just trying to i was originally trying to leave you a voice message singing happy birthday to you and uh um an old white guy voice

but i picked you ruined it well here let me hang up you can try it old guy we're on the podcast right now okay bye okay bye it's bobby it's bobby hi sweetie what's up babe esther wants to show you something esther send him the picture right now okay what's the picture of what esther's birthday present to me you will not believe it i like your nails clipping on me you want to see it yeah text it to me okay just sounds excited stay on the phone she's texting it to you right now is she fucking crazy is she dumb is she dumb and crazy what is wrong with that girl i can't believe you called our girl she was dropped you were by many agents actually what is drop to me? As a baby. On your head. Yeah. No, they never held her.

Whatever you want to say. They told her to drop her. Anyway, is that real? It's real. Well, you're going to have to fucking get her an AstroTattoo now. I have to do it? Yeah, yeah. On your neck.

Right over Adam's apple. All right, babe. I love you. No, tell him that it's... Bye. Don't. That's so funny. Okay, here's Andrew's

white man happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, Filipino. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday Filipino. Happy birthday to you. That's pretty good. It's Pavarotti.

I loved that. That was gorgeous. You can still sense the anger, that deep down anger he has as a ginger. Alright guys, let's do the Filipino newspaper dance. What's that? My homeland's tradition, Esther.

Just get on board. Listen, you're in the family now. You're inked. Ink on skin. Annie, get a piece of newspaper just this size for you and your partner, Esther. Carlos, will you be my partner? Yeah. Okay.

She needs a partner that she knows is not sexually attracted to her. Wait, I already have one of those. Wait. Oh my God. The sexually violent predator next door is the one I got. Then that actually chose you. Yes. I must be getting prettier. All right. This is how it works. We're going to put these on the ground. Oh, this is for you too. It says, just what does Manchin want? Let me explain the rules. We're going to put these on the ground. Oh, this is for you too. It says, just what does Manchin want? There you go, there's your Manchin. Let me explain the rules. We're gonna put this on the ground

and we're gonna be doing this in pairs. So when the music goes on, you're dancing with your partner and when the music stops, you hop back on the newspaper. Oh, okay. And each time, you fold the newspaper in half and you have to- So the person with the smaller feet wins. Correct. And so if any

of your body any of your foot is outside of the newspaper you lose but each time you fold the paper it gets smaller and smaller and smaller carlos i don't know if you're carrying me if i'm carrying you carrying what can i opt out of this i want to watch. I want Esther to carry you. I'll masturbate. No, no, no, no, no. Esther broke her toe on something that is made of foam, okay? I don't want to before Hawaii be the one that puts her in the fucking... Because then you'll be pushing me. She's going to get one of those for no reason. Okay, here we go. This is dancing.

Yeah, there's our strobe light. Okay, we're good. Now fold it in half. These moves aren't great yet, guys. That's odd, dog. Look, rust for your... Carlos, you're fucking up already! No, look.

Carlos is not ready! Carlos lost. Guys, I don't even have to try this. I'm just gonna try it. for your answers. Carlos, you're fucking up already. No, look. What? Carlos lost. Guys, I don't even have to try and I win. Do you know what I mean?

We're not supposed to go way further than that. The newspaper's supposed to be this small. Well, we should have gotten cowboy boots. Way further than that. It was the Yeezys.

Oh, by the way, I thought I caught this young foot fetish guy looking at my feet i was like i gotta start wearing socks out this is ridiculous i was at lunch with todd this and i was like wow i've never seen a foot fetish guy so young and he was with his young hot wife i was like why does he want my feet and then i looked he was looking at todd's yeezys i was getting like i almost like we need to move seats i was like this is getting gross so i had exactly one week of the best dms ever just hands

man hands man hands man hands oh my god and then oh then someone then the dick pics came back and now i don't want them it's not good we don't want them so i'm here to remind you guys please no more with the dick pics the hands is where it's at there's no dick that is looks as good in a picture it's not no dick worth photographing yeah there's no we want to forget them honestly it's like we put them inside ourselves real quick you know to hide them in there i do feel though i did get one dick pic that was so bad that it was good it was it was a long angular penis, but it wasn't about the cock. It was about the, it was shaved too,

shaved areas. He was sitting Indian style with his feet, like, like his feet, like heels pressed together and the penis was like laying atop it and it was the,

let me try to give you, give me the shot. most homosexual, heterosexual move I've ever seen. Give me the shot. It was the gayest move a straight man has made towards a woman that I've ever seen.

Yes. Like, it was just laying on top of it and it was just, I mean, it was so funny. Actually, when I first started dating Todd, I had, we'd been high in the back of the comedy store and we were talking about his dad for some

reason I didn't know anything about Todd really at that point he just was like we were just laughing a lot I was like oh we laugh a lot and you guys do laugh a lot together I we have fun all day long it's like always fun we wake up just well Todd says that he wakes up in a full conversation with you yeah because I'm just already talking yeah but um so I made some joke he said something about like his friend's mom dildoing herself he goes it was some like something funny that made me laugh and I go well I have a question for you have you ever like fucked your dad and he's like what and I just kept saying it I was just so high and thought it was funny so then I found a picture I went online on Facebook I found a picture of his dad and I had shown him that penis I had shown

him the penis that was laying on top of the feet and I photoshopped that penis onto a picture of Todd banging and I put his dad's face I had him banging and I sent it to him like a hundred times it's true love and that's when we knew wait I not to kill the month i really have to pee go pee right now okay yeah i'm sorry is there anything fun happening when you come back or is it a real pee i genuinely just have to pee can we see it wait can we get a bucket and have her pee in here what what is this show why not we've already peed in diapers right diapers she did it again i don't know if i should tell you what I was planning because we could just do it another time

I'm gonna do it yeah do it another time I'm gonna give you a birthday surprise randomly throughout the year yeah that you're gonna love look guys

I feel really really showered with love and presence I didn't expect this I was gonna write you a poem too I can freestyle one yeah when Esther gets back

I would need you to freestyle a super emo poem Annie you wanna give her your other presents that you got her that in back, I need you to freestyle a super emo poem. Annie, you want to give her your other presents that you got her in that bag? Mm-hmm. I got you this. By the way, I'm wearing black on my birthday episode because I feel as though I'm in mourning because Bobby has gotten my birthday wrong every day this week.

Wait, what do you mean? He greeted me on a Thursday, and I was like, my birthday's not until five days. And then he called me the next day and said, sweetie, happy birthday. And I was like, my birthday's not until five days. And then he called me the next day and said, sweetie, happy birthday. And I was like, it's still not today. And then he called me

two days ago. He's like, I love you so much. Happy birthday, sweetie. And I was like, we've been together eight years. One year,

you're going to get it right. This is not about your birthday. This is about him not being able to tell time. This is like, you gave him like measurements of time and he didn't,

he didn't get it checked. Are we't are we do have we planned hawaii activities i want to know what you guys want to do there that's my my concern it's like do we throw esther to the sharks do we not no esther always has the option to opt out esther here we're dragging around because i think my sister's coming with me if my sister and i surround you and we go on a shark dive and we have you in like our arms are linked and you're just in a floaty around us, will you put your head down and look at a shark underneath? Maybe. Okay, I feel like it's such a safe. I want to do tropical. Look, I want to eat pineapples.

We knew it was going to be an eat. We knew. We didn't know what exactly the food was, but we knew it was going to be an eating situation. I want like tropical vibes. Do you want to? We got to give her a poi. Shaved ice? We got to give her all the.

Yeah. I don't think she's going to like poi. Let's be real, Annie. I love poi. Maybe she will. She is a poi of a person. Is it like tropical climate where we're going? She's a substance.

Tropical, yes. I want to experience like the greenery. It's wintry though a little bit. It's their winter but it's still very tropical. Okay, I want to see this. A Tesla t-shirt.

So you can advertise Annie's Tesla. It also points to your puss. And not to be forgotten a Tesla hat. Does this mean you got a Tesla and then these came for you?

No, these are gifts from you. These are from me. Yeah. My gifts are better than this George's. Oh, wait. Wait. These are gifts from Annie to Kalilah, but bought from the mind of George. That's basically what Bobby does every year.

George, it's not bad, but it's... Can I just say Carlos did this so that we can but did you did you tell him to Carlos what is this bit so this is a bit that that's why you're hired wait Annie let's get this straight

I'm getting her fake pubes and cowboy boots like I think I'm pretty on brand with mine how are we going to stand for this fake pubes and cowboy boots. Like, I think I'm pretty on brand with mine. Yeah, no, but I'm saying, how are we going to stand for this, that Carlos thought- Has any power? That your gift to Kyle was just Tesla merch? Was this you?

I thought you were really proud of the Tesla stuff. Why told someone else to buy it on Amazon? But this is like a waste of our funds. No, this is why Carlos will always remain a weirdo that has a crush on me because he doesn't get me. Why do you think I have a crush on you so badly? Esther I feel like I've been in does he not exhibit so much I've been in your car with you alone. And what would happen never had any chemistry from my end

You're correct. But even from my end, it's like. You know where you're not going to be? In my Tesla. I don't need a driver anymore. You're no longer allowed in my car. This is a misallocation of funds, getting a Tesla hat. For your birthday, I'm going to beat the shit out of George and steal his wallet. Hey, guess who was missing at my birthday party? Who? Oh, yeah, George. George, where were you?

Wait, Esther was actually screaming for you. George, we need help. who oh yeah where were you wait esther was actually screaming for you george yeah help well i at one point on the mic i said george so we just got where george has been in a terrible accident can't make it oh i actually remember that and felt weird i was like wait i don't you were too high for that joke i was so high they really were yelling for you the whole where the fuck is george because anytime we couldn't get something to work we were yelling did i look like i was having fun yeah my meant to text you let you know but like i went out to tacopa hot springs since it was my only weekend uh for my birthday that i was

that we all forgot by the way when was your birthday the last time we recorded we recorded on his birthday and we didn't greet him oh i was definitely mean to him too so i was busy that weekend working so this was my first weekend i could get out with the wife and the kid, go relax. And there's no cell service or the hotel doesn't even have wifi. I love how you're acting like that happened to you. And it wasn't the reason you went there. It was a beautiful coincidence. I didn't want to get texted about,

Hey, this karaoke bar doesn't have, the sound isn't great. You mind looking at the levels here? Do they have, do what rhymes with kalilah i want to do a song no esther was good esther and jenna were up there but here's what i learned about esther you get two lines out of her a song and then she's just like can we change the song

which is but that is the part of karaoke you have to get through you gotta finish the song why because it's not a good activity okay i don't know why your people brought it here to us like at the end of purple rain when it's just the woohoo's you gotta see it through but it was the joy you know what i watched because i was observing because i am so i i go on stage i say terrible things about my own asshole on stage to strangers singing a song in front of all of my friends and their friends is literally like that the worst situation i could possibly but annie the point of karaoke is to be terrible together yes i know but there's something there's something that i'll work through that i'll work on this is a me problem

there's some childhood trauma attached to that that i have to figure out but can i just i i have a prediction that if it was just the three of us that you would have, it would have been more, it would have been fine. Yeah, I mean, let's be real. I literally saw your sister and went,

but, but, but, but. And Kylen, it is rude that you invited more than just me and Annie to your birthday. But she did give us like a really special

shout out. Yeah, she treated us special. Do we have a picture of our triple kiss or video of that? Yeah, Carl's video. Do you have your phone on you? Yeah, bitch. Now he's starting to get it. picture of our triple kiss or video of that yeah carl's video you have your phone on you yeah

now he's starting to get it there you go that's better than a tesla hat that's getting you further getting a little moist we were high look at esther was like really in it still. You were super high. I was very high, yeah. I was very curious. What did you do after? Did you just go crash?

Did you eat chicken fingers? Like what did you do? Well, I ate a lot. Well, I'm on like a program with my trainer. So I was like going to try to just not. I realized because I get the munchies. I have not tried your suggestion yet of Listerine george oh me either because because it's not about it really isn't about how my mouth feels when i'm when i die and i want to eat it's it's not like there's no stomach

gargling it's just like i must put grease in my mouth i feel that too but so there were these little egg rolls and they were sitting there for a while. Carlos was actually like trying to help me because he saw me go for several. And Carlos at one point leans over and he goes, in my ear he goes, I wish all these people would leave so we could just eat all these egg rolls. I was like, I'm not eating them because of the people.

I'm not eating them because I have not fit in jeans in a decade. That's like sexual. Saying that you wish everyone could leave. And eat each other egg rolls. My Asian boyfriend has to leave the egg roll eating contest. Are we allowed to say that your trainer is Tom Cruise's trainer? I think so. I think so.

Tom Cruise. Yeah, a lot of stars, yes. I squat harder knowing that I go what are your body goals just to get real strong I want to get thick ripped that's the best

thick ripped I don't and all are good the way I I the way the way I looked before the pandemic

before I gained weight I don't I'm actually not into that look anymore why what was it I was just skinnier than before I gained weight, I don't. I'm actually not into that look anymore. Why? What was it? I was just skinnier than I'd like to be.

I was like doing jujitsu and hot yoga every day. Yeah, you can't be doing cardio every day. It's like a twice a week thing. I'm not doing fucking jujitsu anymore either. I'm not like getting COVID off of some guy's sweaty ass balls. And I'm not. Why? I'm pretty. I don't want to get my face.

Does your jujitsu teacher make you blow him? What the fuck? Yeah, that's a part of it.'s how you pass guard they come in your mouth those are great body goals yeah i want to be like because my trainer we kind of have like a similar build like a big ass and no tits so how old were you guys when you got your periods i was 13 i want to say 13. 11. Did you have a growth spurt at all? No, never. She popped out to sex.

Just genuinely never. Wait, you got it at 11? Is that true? Yeah. Because I think actually 13 is young to get it. It's getting younger and younger now. I just heard. Is it really at eight and nine?

My friend told me she got her. Yeah, she got hers at eight. What? I have nieces that get it at eight. Isn't it because of like dairy? Like there's like, I've heard that there's hormones. Oh my God, she watched a fucking Netflix documentary. No, I heard this like literally like 15 years ago that like the hormones in cows, that cows

are injected with. Some, some. Gives women their period. I think it. Don't point at me when you say cow. I think some of it has to do with that and also a lot of childhood obesity. Really? She wasn't obese.

Then it's probably the. Now you're pointing at me when you say childhood obesity. No, no, no. I'm just saying the hormones. Mansion. The chicken hormones. The chicken. Wait, I want to talk about the comedy store posting really bad pictures of you for some reason.

I don't. I. I know you don't pay attention. No, but it's weird. But I've got to talk about the comedy store posting really bad pictures of you for some reason. I don't. I know you don't pay attention. No, but it's weird. But I've got to tell you, as your friend. Why do they do that? Who's doing that? They are so bad. It's not on purpose.

They just aren't looking at us. You think it's an inside job? They're not looking at us. Yeah. But I'm looking at you. I have theories. I have theories. People DM it to me.

I don't understand. Yeah, it's weird. It's like you're just going to sell less tickets because you're making me look ugly. It's like Esther always going back in a bit. She's going in every picture. So it gives her a double chin. They do it to me, too. That's why you have to have your hair in front.

Yeah. So they can't get you. But they'll put like my stomach. I'm like, guys, do you hate me? Like, are you mad at me? Yeah, that's what it feels like. Wait, I want to freestyle uh oh yes the the gifts never stopped coming today do you want to do it to this cupcake I'm scared to have fire near my hair but you guys it was so funny I wish you were there you had left no Benton saw it did he try to save you nobody could save me there was no

saving it went up it was like and then i put it out really fast but i went to the security you saved my face you saved my face you saved my face's life oh no one's all right okay no no because i want to i want to okay that looks good dear kalilah um you really not only is there a weird h in your name you add an h to our lives not heroin happiness you uh they might not say nice things about you on reddit but when it comes to this podcast you sure can edit um without you the podcast would be kind of long but not as strong the extra time you put in reminds me of esther's chins uh without you who would boss around george oh wait the other two whores. I ask that whatever you get for your birthday, you don't use it to pay Carlos.

Happy birthday, love you. Happy birthday. Thanks guys. Oh, I feel so special. For feeling so wrecked on the inside, I sure feel pretty special for feeling so wrecked on the inside. I sure feel pretty special still. Yes.

How do you feel about turning this age? I feel really, really lucky. Why? I think that getting older is a privilege and I will never look at it as something that I dread. We should say to old people like you have privilege. Yeah. Stop this. You don't get your own walkway.

Yeah. I think I feel lucky to be 37. And I think I look good for 37. I feel good. I feel like a kid still. And that feeling will never go away, I hope. And we're all pretend adults. We are. What's your advice to any people out there- That are 33.

Who want to stay young and beautiful like you i would say facial reconstructive surgery yes the start i would say dr rivkin is a great we need to get our one of those stretching machines we'll stretch you taller some tom cruise shoes some platform hidden platforms oh this is fun and he has a formula for staying youthful whatever outfit this is that's how you stay youthful you gotta stay playful i think that's the ultimate thing don't take life too seriously the moment you stop playing you start getting old so just keep playing with your friends and being silly playing with yourself and yourself and fisting send videos of your to your friends of fisting your own asshole you know i think that

the perfect example of being someone who's playing is getting a tattoo of your co-workers it's just sad that you can't like really show us i know i wouldn't plan it right i got it yesterday when can we do the reveal on on my because i want to post on my instagram it's pretty good yeah next episode so yeah that is that picture i showed you was right after the, he did it. So that is it. But it's just healing now. I didn't realize it takes like a little while to heal. Oh. But in a few days it'll be ready.

You guys, she eats bananas. She gets tattoos. She smokes weed. I mean, this girl is new. She's really, you know what it is? We made fun of you and said you look like the dazed and the confused guy. And then you just became me. I one upped you by becoming you.

I love it. You guys, thank you so much for joining us on this special episode of Trash Tuesday. And it's not that it's special because it's her birthday. It's special because such an amazing Tesla present was given. And I just want to say, what a great present that I would be giving someone. Do you, and you know, maybe a good comment below. What would you feel like if your coworker got your name tattooed on their arm? How do you feel about that?

Like this video. Subscribe. You guys, we are nothing without you. These three old sperm whores. We'll see you next week. Bye. we'll see you next week bye