Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Tinx on First Date Sins & Winning the Dating App Game

Episode Date: May 7, 2024

Tinx AKA "TikTok's older sister"  joins Esther and Khalyla and dishes out incredible relationship/dating app advice, her issue with Gen Z's views on clubbing and going out and much more! She is our millennial queen and we love her for it.  LEARN MORE ABOUT EBB OCEAN CLUB: https://ebboceanclub.com/ Thank you to Our Sponsor(s) *Aura Frames-Right Now Aura has a great Deal for Mother’s Day!* Visit AuraFrames.com/TRASHTUESDAY to get $30-off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. Use code TRASHTUESDAY  at checkout to save. *Draftkings - New players, start playing with just FIVE BUCKS and get ONE HUNDRED BACK INSTANTLY in Casino Credits. Download the app and use code TRASHTUESDAY to book your one-way ticket to fun with DraftKings Casino! The crown is yours. **PATREON SURVEY: Please take our membership survey! We want ideas and input! https://forms.gle/E8No1xUu1eHv2ZZQ9 Come See Khalyla,  Esther and Bobby Live! May 15th!  Ticket Link Here: https://www.ticketweb.com/event/in-th…   MORE TINX: LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/itsmetinx TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@tinx?lang=en IG: https://www.instagram.com/tinx/?hl=en   00:00 - Tinx Intro & Dating w/ Intention 03:38 - The Seven Deadly Sins 10:27 - Millennials V. Gen Z 17:40 - How to Win Hinge 25:00 - Megan Fox and Plastic Surgery  31:00 - Not Asking Questions on Dates  38:04 - Have you Ever Rejected Someone?\ 42:27 - Dating Advice from Slugs: Moving In?  47:10 - Anxiously Attached 52:00 - Sex Drive Not High 54:00 - Esther Hates Pregnancy 01:00:00 - Frozen Yogurt 01:02:54 - Khalyla’s Big Surprise!! 01:06:00 - Moms Helping is Comforting   Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram:   / itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...    Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn -   / khalamityk   Esther Povitsky -   / esthermonster     Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee   / bobbyleelive   Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen: https://www.candyedits.com Exec. Producer & Showrunner:  Stella Young | Tiny Legends Productions Shot and Edited By: Guy Robinson and Sean Wanless Edited By: Andrew Tarr (Audio) & Guy Robinson (Video)   This Video Contains Paid Advertising

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apply so I'm excited because today we have a guest I've been wanting for years she's an author of a book called the shift that I highly recommend I highly recommend the audiobook because that's kind of where I'm at in life. I highly recommend her podcast. Her content has gotten me through a lot, especially like in – well, I'll tell you this after I introduce you. Welcome to the show, the one and only Tinks. Thanks for having me. Iconic. I'm so happy to be here.

The honor is all mine for real. I'm so pumped. I'm so happy to be here. The honor is all mine for real. I'm so pumped. So truly though, like in my horrible first trimester of pregnancy where I just felt like an egg and not a human and not a woman anymore, your content, I felt like you were the only person putting stuff out that reminded me of like a fun, savvy, cool girl life. And I got to like live almost,

almost like whatever sex in the city did for people. Like that's what following Tinks' life did for me. So thank you. That's so kind. I'm never going to be able to live up to this intro. This is insane. Of course. I'm so personally just curious what's going on in your dating life, but you don't have to reveal if that's like. I'm dating. Two guys at once? No. Yeah.

I mean, I'm dating. I'm dating a couple guys. It's casual. Yeah, it's good. Last year, I took a year-long hiatus from dating because I was obsessed with my ex-boyfriend. And so. We love a good limerence story. Yes.

So I didn't—I wasn't able to go on any dates because of the obsession. And because I was just so like—which is crazy because I broke up with him. But so I was just like, but I'm obsessed with him. Wait, really? What? So how long were you guys together? We were together for like nine months. But then I remained obsessed with him for a year after. But why the breakup?

Was it just a necessity? I just feel like it wasn't right. It wasn't like, I don't know. Sometimes you're obsessed with someone, but it's not right for a long-term relationship. You are absolutely correct on this. There are people that you know inherently wouldn't make a good partner for you, but there is something about them that you're just magnetized to. Yes. a good partner for you, but there's something about them that you're just magnetized to. Yes.

And you almost have to fight yourself on your, like, it's like the person that gives me the most butterflies I know is the person I necessarily shouldn't be with. That's like what Dr. Drew told you. Yeah, because it's like for someone like you, Kalilah, it's like you shouldn't be chasing lightning bolts. You should be chasing safe harbor because based on your trauma. So was it something similar for you, Tinks? Yeah. I just, I think that I'm kind of at peace with the fact that like, I'll always be obsessed with him and that's okay. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. I have to interrupt this. How the

do you have the willpower, the self-control to be the one who ends it with someone that you're obsessed with and gives you the tingles and makes you feel like how is this so anti-ester i can't it's like i for me i'm like the cookies are right there i'm eating them they're like i can't put them away how do you do that because it felt dishonest to me and and also like there was just certain things i i don't think that we made each other the best versions of ourselves, but we have this crazy connection and I always have so much love for him. But it's just sometimes love ain't enough. Are you a disciplined, like in self-control kind of person?

No. I am like – I was actually thinking about it the other day. If – I have to be doing one of the seven deadly sins at all times. I truly, I love all the sins. I am a gluttonous, lazy, slutty, fun-loving gal. This is why I love her. Forever. Wait, do you love the movie Seven? I'm obsessed with the movie Seven. It's a what's in the box? It's the best movie of all time. I just, it really, really does it for me.

But one thing I actually like to ask guys on dates is like rank the seven deadly sins, like which one affects you the most. And then I like, you know, why am I still single? No, but like, I can't go to a date and be like, so where are you from? Oh, the traffic's so bad in that area. I'm like rank the sins for me. And it's really interesting. What's the correct answer for you?

It's all different. It's just like it's basically asking people to say like what affects them the most. Like pride. Yeah. Okay. Let's rank them. You know, for you, but they're all going to be different. So for me, I would say like probably gluttony

and pride are at the top for me. Like I'm a very, I can be very prideful sometimes to my own detriment. I can be very gluttonous. You know, I can be a little bit lazy too. That's why I say I love to do all of them at the same time, but they're different for, you know, I'm not a wrathful person. That's one that doesn't really interest me. I would say envy scares me. But does it affect you the most? Like you're not a jealous person. I don't think so. I think in my 20s, I definitely dealt with that.

But as like a nine-month pregnant woman, that's like – Who has the time for envy? Yeah. I feel like – Pride sounds fun. Pride sounds fun. I feel like as a bed-rotting kind of girl, like sloth really speaks to me. Yeah, exactly.

So it's interesting. And sometimes you'll go through different eras in your life. Like, you know, last year I was going through a very, I think, envious, weird time with, you know, stuff going on in my dating life. And that doesn't mean that you liked envy. You just were engaging in it. It means the one, it means the sin that was most affecting you. So it's just basically, and you know, sometimes I'll go through a hibernation period and then it's like, okay, sloth is really affecting

me right now. Okay. Or, you know, if I'm doing a lot of work for, you know, if I'm really like thinking about wanting things and being like, oh, I need this bag. Like I need to work more so I can buy this shit. Then you're having a greed. You're being affected by greed. Were you raised Catholic? No, I'm only half Catholic. And I wasn't really, we weren't that religious growing up. But I just think it's a funny way to talk about the fun stuff in life, which is basically like all the sins, you know?

I know, but so the opposite of this is the heavenly virtues, which we don't give a shit about. I actually don't even know them either, but I do know the seven deadly sins. Yeah. It's so funny because you have to like be aware of them. And it's so funny when you're, you know, it's like, Oh, don't be slothful. Don't be greedy, all this stuff. But I'm like, that's literally the spice of life. The sloth thing, especially because I truly believe like lazy is a myth. Totally. And it's, I don't think there is anyone in the world who is inherently lazy. I think that there is usually something underneath that's brewing that's causing them to either be in a freeze state. That's like some kind of like psychological like traumatic state that doesn't allow them to kind of act on their own ambitions. Because I don't

think someone wakes up every day and says i want to be lazy there's usually a self-hatred there when we're like i wanted to do this but couldn't and they there's something mental blocking them or well okay so i someone was asking me like oh what are the traits of like millennials and gen z's and i was thinking about i'm like the traits are always, the older people always call the younger people lazy. And I don't know if you guys have heard about like how people are saying, yeah, Gen Z is lazy. But it's like, look at the world that we've left for them. Like, how are they supposed to, why do they want? Right.

And if you take it a step further, like they've projected that a majority of them, even if they work their asses off, the majority of them will never own a home. So it's like we've created this world where it's like you go to work, you get disrespected. It's terrible. You can even if you work off, you can't afford a living in the United States. Like I'm saying on average. Yeah. So it's like what what impetus does Gen Z have to be like, OK, I'm going to get up and go to work now. Right.

Which is different than our like millennials, our generation. We were very like, okay, let's go girl boss. Like we need to all work like 16 hour days and found our own companies. But then that hasn't exactly panned out for us either. Not at all, actually. So, you know, I don't really, I have many criticisms of Gen Z, but that is not one of them. I think I really agree with you that

a lot of bed rotting and the fact that it's such like a common thing that we speak about now and it's like, okay, I need a rot day is a lot of it is like you said it self-loathing or, you know, you're scared of something or whatever, or it's just anxiety and just like not wanting to go outside and like to do what? Like look around. It's kind of bad vibes right now. At least for me, there's so many days where i the night before i'm like i these are the things i want to set out to do and i wake up the next morning there's not a cell in my body that wants to accomplish anything and it turns into this like cycle of like like what's wrong with me but then i later learned that it is like a freeze or like

a fawn state and it is something that happens when, you know, you've had some like history of trauma. And so I just. It's a bad. She was molested pretty bad. I just want to let you know. I'm sorry. It's okay. We like to laugh at our trauma.

She didn't want to come out and say it. She doesn't know you well enough. So that's why i'm here okay thank you for sharing my stepdad say for instance he was able to pay a mortgage for himself in a really nice neighborhood he did not he didn't molest me clarification and then the mortgage of his ex-wife all on a teacher's salary yeah and that's not true anymore isn't that insane you know what i'll never forget is like the watching the first episode of stranger things and winona rider like works as like a cashier but has a house

and i'm like what that's not true anymore like no it's it's really really messed up and we're kind of this is only going to get worse you know as i'm sure we've all seen on tiktok like the eradication of the middle class and like this is like the the disparity. Okay, Scott Galloway. I know you're influenced by him. I love him so much. I'm obsessed with Professor Scott Galloway. He's so good. We love him. So I, yeah, I really, I feel very disheartened. I'm an optimistic person, but I feel really, really disheartened and uncertain of even what's ahead of us. So I don't really think that the bed rotting thing, I get it. I have a question for both of you guys. I have discovered there's a subset of us millennials, it's not just me,

who really identify more with Gen Z culture than millennial culture. And the easy example right in front of us right now is like that they're so vocal and open about bed rotting. And like, I personally was never like a skinny jeans girl. Like I like the loudness of Gen Z fashion. I'm just curious, like, what are the things about Gen Z that you guys maybe relate to more? Or do you feel like, no, I'm a classic millennial? I don't. I literally relate to boomers. I identify as a boomer with just a millennial rising. That's it. I can be a little choogy, but only on the dress.

Up here, boomer, boomer nation. How so? I'm just like, well, you know. I don't know why all boomers are Southern, but I'm like, boom. I'm like, I don't know why all rumors are Southern, but like, I'm like, boom, I'm like, it's time to pull up your bootstraps and, you know, go run some laps outside if you're hurting. What about you?

You seem more Gen Z. I'm not, but I'm not. I don't, I don't know. Maybe I'm like a cusper. I'm not quite sure because I definitely, I'm, as you you can tell I haven't worn a skinny jean in a very long time with a Chelsea boot that's not to say that there's any I love choogy people I have choogy friends and the way they embrace but coffee first culture is like warms my heart I agree I think choogy people are like some of the nicest people you'll ever meet yes and happy

like true choogy like true like have the live, laugh, love. They wear like the wrap scarves. They gather on their dining room. Yeah, yeah, they'll do, yeah. I mean, some of the nicest people, like some of my best friends are Cheugs and like they are who I go to when I like need to be with a family on a Sunday, you know?

Same. I'm like, let me lay on your couch. Like you cook me and it's gonna come out on a little scalloped plate that was from Target, like shabby chic collection I love it like I love it so some of the nicest folks you'll ever meet I love this comfort we chuggy is a very like I beg my friends and they don't even know what I'm trying to ask of them but I'm like please do not change do not change you need like a representative from all walks of life.

And I think you need at least one Chugi family. Yeah. Wow. I'm inspired today. You don't want to collect just a bunch of cool girlfriends. You need a variety. You need to diversify your portfolio. That's true because you're right.

The people who are not Chugi are just insane. They're insane. And they're always sort of trying to be the cool thing yeah and that that gets exhausting to be around agree agree well okay this is one thing that i have to credit gen z in the current like cool culture is i saw this article that in new york city um the like hot spot for nightlife is a Swedish candy store called Bon Bon. Have you been? No, but I've seen it on TikTok. And so I think being serious, the reason that I don't relate to Gen Z is because they hate going out and I love to go out. So that's like my main thing, why I don't relate to them. I do like their humor, but the fact that they like want to go

to a candy store and that's like the big thing I'm like, but what's in the candy, like a little party favor. And they're like, no, it's just candy. I'd be like, Hmm, I hate that. Well, let's go get a drink. What do you, what do you think then will happen to like Vegas club culture as Gen Z? I'm very concerned about it. Like I'm, I'm going to write some letters to authorities like soon. I am very concerned about the future of my culture, which is clubbing. And people, this is a dying art that people are, they're forgetting this craft and how to do it. And it's like some of these girls, the young girls, they don't even know how to like dance

on a table in a heel. And you see that and you just think the world is not, we're off track. You know, we are off track. You are absolutely right. Do you know that Jules is just anti-club I have a niece who lives with me and she's 22 and she's like what for yeah see this I'm with the 22 year olds I'm a 36 year old pregnant loser who thinks she's 22 that's right I feel very much like you are a Gen Z I think you're very Gen Z but that's sad I'm an old

person pretending to be young. It's very authentic. Yes, it is. Because it was always your personality. Your humor is quite Gen Z. You were never really into going out that much. I'm impressed with you being like, no, I'm digging my heels in. I want to go to a club.

That's cool. No, I love to go out. And Gen Z has a lot of, you know, they don't really like to do. Also, they're not into dating. They don't, you know, they're obsessed with, like, the talking stage instead. They don't. They're scared to go on a date. They're scared to do everything.

That sucks. But that's because dating apps ruined it, right? Yeah. But, yeah. But they hate to club. And I also think that, like, more than them hating it is also just the times changed and you can't have fun at a club because everybody's on their phone now. And that's what really ruined it. Because back in the day, you'd have your flip phone and you would like, you know,

make your call and you'd go into the club and everybody's phones would be in their bag. And everybody would be looking around, looking for who's going to buy them drinks or whatever. And now it's just like everybody's taking pictures. And also the whole point of going out is to like do things that you don't necessarily want broadcasted everywhere. And everyone's always snitching on each other. Everyone's always taking photos of people. And it's like. It's not safe to go fully ratchet anymore.

Like if I were to like exist in the same way I did in my early 20s, because I lived in Vegas for a couple of years, I, it would be over for me. Yeah. Like, the things- Would you do kill someone? No, but it's like- Like, what the fuck? I, maybe, you know, but it's like, you just,

there are just some things that are, there's almost like everyone is overly conscious of being watched. Exactly. Oh, yeah, that sucks. You hit the nail on the head. That's a vibe killer. You hit the nail on the head that now we have, because of phones, even if phones aren't out, we all feel like we're being watched.

And we're just like, everything is so like such an extension of our personal brand that now people don't have the same vibe of like, yeah, fuck it. Like I've had a long week. I'm kind of down to just go out and get ratchet on a Friday night. Like that doesn't exist anymore because everybody's like, oh, getting ratchet isn't part of my personal brand. Or like, oh, I don't want anyone to take a photo of me or I don't want anyone to see me and whatever, whatever. Can't be like free anymore. I mean, like there was a time where my, my friends and I would be pantsing each other in casino, like not

even in clubs, but in the, cause we thought it was funny to get drunk. We just start pantsing each other. It would go a little too far where the underwear, it was thought it was funny to get drunk. We'd start pantsing each other. It would go a little too far. It was just so stupid and fun and silly. Like, imagine now if someone got that on camera. They'd be like, oh, that was SA. Why did she do that to her friend? Oh, my God.

And we were just dumb drunks, and we were free to be dumb drunks. Yeah. What is your—do you feel like you've given up on dating apps because of, like,'s been recently uncovered of like, they're just meant to keep you on there. They're not, it's like a gamified, it's gamified humanity. Like, are you, do you give up on it? Do you have've actually recently figured out how to game it back, you know, because I think you've got to figure out a system. So on Hinge, they have this thing called like, well, I don't know what its real name is, but it's basically called Rose Jail to everybody who's dating. And so they put all the most attractive people or the ones that the algorithm thinks are most attractive to you behind this Rose J jail. So if you want to get to them, you have to pay to get a rose to give it to them, which is also inherently cringy being like, oh, I spent $1.99 on this digital flower to send to you because I think you're like, I want to get in your pants. Like, okay, thanks,

hinge. Now I'm really off to a great start. And I just spent a lot of time being bitter about it and being like, I would never do that. And like all the hot people are in there and then worried about like, am I in Rose jail or am I just in like the regular degular like feed? Like, I hope not, whatever. And then I was like, you know what? I can afford it. And so I started buying roses and sending them out left, right, and center. And then I went on my podcast and I told all the hot girls who listened to me and I said, listen up. There's been a vibe switch.

Now we're sending roses as like a way to like put our dick on the table and be like, I'm in charge. I'm rich enough to buy roses and I'm sending them out to all the hot guys. If you're lucky enough to get one, good for you. And by the way, it's completely changed my life. What? Yeah. Like, no, it's so good. Guys love it. One of the guys I'm dating,

the guy I'm seeing is from a Rose Hinge situation. You got him on $1.99 Rose. Yeah, and now we're getting married. I'm willing to bet there are a lot of men who actually like being pursued in that way. Of course, of course. The whole good guys. I think that's the good guys, by the way.

Because when the guy is the hunter and he's chasing you, what happens once he gets you? He's bored. He needs to go chase someone else. I'm a huge advocate of like, you go find the guy. And then you get some shy, quiet nerd who's scared of women and now he's yours and he's not going anywhere. No, that's a classic that I love to do. I love to find, you know, a victim and then I come on really strong.

Okay, you have to use the B word. I'm kind of a love bomber like sometimes. And I like do a lot of – I'm like obsessed, whatever, whatever. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. And then all of I'm like obsessed whatever whatever and they're like whoa whoa okay and then all of a sudden I cool off and then they're like I'm obsessed with you and I'm like and so it is and then are you but then are you like are you sticking around are you like yeah then I stick around but that's just like okay but then that if you stick around and it's yeah it's fine I think love bombing is fine because I think the whole the whole thing of what

you were saying is like and and also in modern times, the guy like hunting the girl and then when he gets it, like, I think that's all messed up anyways these days. So I think we have to take, again, I'm all about breaking the box and thinking outside of the mold when it comes to dating. So I also am a little bit tired of this same conversation about just masculine and female energy because that is so just like there I can't it I can't imagine that any time in my life a guy has truly been attracted to me because I've been in my

feminine energy like Esther you know me like I've been a tomboy my whole life and whoever is attracted to me is attracted to that part of me. Right. And I think it's so like binary the way people have sort of like explained feminine masculine. And I'm so kind of like just over that. I know. Like at first when that conversation sort of started to pick up steam, like on TikTok and just whatever online in general,

I'm like, oh, this is interesting. This is cool. We haven't seen this in a while. It's been the girl boss era. I like exploring this. But I think now I'm like, no is interesting this is cool we haven't seen this in a while it's been the girl boss era I like exploring this but I think now I'm like no that's too false guys don't actually want that because the doormat who does shit for them they get bored they move on like I think it's well I also just don't know how much control we have over the energy we give off so I'm not a tomboy but like I have a lot of masculine energy. I'd say I like live in that space. And I would be lying if I said I didn't try to change it because

I watched all those TikTok videos and I was like, I'm so dominant. Like I'm so dominant in my, in every area of my life. And I was like, okay, well, if I were to try and change that, how would I go about it? And I was like, everything that I thought of just felt so fake and it would be not a true representation of who I am. And it's like, look, it might change at different areas of my life, but for now I'm kind of in my, I'm kind of in my masculine energy. And that's, and like you, I've had lots of people who like that about me. So, you know, I, I think there's a lid for every pot. But I think it's, isn't that all subject to interpretation? Totally. Because I had a friend recently, like I'm dating a guy now and we have a friend in common and she was in his ear in the beginning, basically saying like, I don't think

she's your type because she has, she doesn't have that like natural, like feminine energy about her. she doesn't have that like natural, like feminine energy about her. And I was, it irked me to no end because he couldn't be more attracted to me. And he, so it's subject, what she thought was masculine energy in me was something that he was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

She is so attractive to me. So it's like, that's very like subject to who's- Yeah, that's a good point. Like the labels are not adding up. They're not adding up at all. Yeah. And it was some, she was worried that, oh, like she probably makes X amount of money

and maybe that's a very like masculine thing or she's on top of her shit. She's like chasing her goals. And I'm like, how is that a masculine thing? Like at all? If his masculinity hinged on financials alone yeah like that's not to me i'd find that super feminine yeah so it's like i don't know i got i got i'm a little bit confused about that whole like lean in you know just sort of let

the man lead it's like fuck off with all that i'm tired just like be you whatever that is buy the rose spend or do you have any other like for other dating apps or is it just hinged where that's kind of like the tool i think that's the tool i mean hinge is kind of like where people are majority of the time now i literally just did that by the way. You just bought some roses? While you're at work. Do it. And then you feel so powerful. It's just like, it's so much better. Also, by the way, I've let hinge off too easily because like, they are like so evil, the overlords, whenever they're like, Tinks, like we found someone you might like. And it's just, and you're just, that is always a punch to the gut. They're like, they're like, oh, like we think you might be compatible. I'm like, really? I'm Oh, like, we think you might be compatible.

I'm like, really? I'm compatible with Shrek. Thank you so much. Thank you. Not to be mean, but to be mean. So, you know, I'm sure someone has said that about me as well. So after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time all mint mobile wireless plans are 15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan i thought where's the catch but after talking to them it all made sense there isn't one mint mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online they don't have retail stores or salespeople instead they deliver premium phone plans directly to you as you guys know our friend rick glassman he uses mint mobile i learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

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And if you're giving an Aura as a gift, you can even personalize the frame with preloaded photos and memories. And I think that's really cute. Like I think the idea I have in my head is i would gift my mom who's not very tech savvy but i would already like preload all of um our pictures like from when i was born and up until now and i think that's i don't know just a very thoughtful gift and i i realized that we are in a in a very you know we're attached to our phones and sometimes looking at a photo on a phone doesn't elicit the same feeling as looking at a photo like around your house or a framed photo okay can i tell you the difference because we have one yeah and when you're looking at your

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and other restrictions apply. One per opted in new customer, $5 wager required, max $100 in casino credits awarded, which require one-time playthrough within 168 hours. See terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. apply um okay so this we're pre-recording this so obvious for obvious reasons but um at the time of this recording there was a big interview that came out recently which was megan fox on call her daddy i don't know if you guys watched it i didn't see it yet so she does say like i've gotten a nose job i've got my boobs done she says um i forgot what she says she hasn't done like a lift but she wants to so basically she goes into all this detail of what the surgeries that she's had surgery she wants surgery she won't do

and i'm sitting there and i'm like is this is this what we want do we want celebrities to be transparent so I kind of want to talk about this not specifically about her but just like is that really a good thing to is it better to just pretend like you look great as you are and have a unrealistic standard of beauty or is is it better to, like, promote surgery? I genuinely don't know. So what did she say that she went, she got done? Boob job? Nose job? I know that's, I'm kind of trying to figure out.

Yeah, she has lips, for sure, fillers. I don't think she did say lips. Her lips are good. Yeah. Maybe she did. Maybe she did. Filler. Has to be. Yeah. Maybe she did. Maybe she did. Filler. Has to be.

Yeah. I do think there is both an upside and a drawback to being that open because you're basically saying, okay, this is an unrealistic standard of beauty. To get to where I am, I had to do all this. standard of beauty to get to where I am I had to do all this but also it kind of gives like it normalizes it so much to the point where maybe we think that just oh like this is something we should all do like this is that was the vibes I was getting from it and again no hate because I do love that she's it's like in general I love that she's speaking out about it but then I find myself sitting there like oh this is making me I'm watching an ad for like how to fix my face and that's not good I'm torn because I I do think it's really cool first of all I don't think that anybody I actually don't believe that celebrities owe people anything unless you are like a fitness

influencer and you have surgery to make your body look a certain way. And then you're trying to sell like your workout saying, oh, you'll look like, you know what I mean? Like a hundred percent, because a lot of those girls do, they'll get on Anivar and it's like a, it's a, it's an anabolic steroid and you only have to use such tiny amounts on a, for it to shred you as a female versus a male. And it's like, oh yeah, you just do this and follow my workout and follow this. And it's like, oh yeah, you just do this and follow my workout and follow this. And it's like, no, you are taking oatmeal. Yeah. So it's like, that's straight up dishonest in a way. If you're selling anything to do with how you look, I think you have to be

honest. But if you're a regular actress or whatever, I don't believe that you actually owe anybody any explanation. That's my opinion. I think it's cool, like, if you want to talk about it for sure. But I do think that with TikTok, we've gotten to a new point where it is – I think we're talking about it too much, I have to say. I think we are. Like, the casualness with which people are getting these major surgeries does scare me. And I am a big believer, like, it's your body. You do absolutely whatever you want to it. But I think it's, like, the casualization of it makes people feel like they

need it and also makes people feel like it's not a big deal when it is a big deal because it is a big surgery and also it's expensive. And so these kids are like, get ready with me to go get lipo. And I'm like, whoa, like you're literally like, you're 12. You're like, you haven't even graduated high school yet. Like I, that is, I don't know. Like, I think it should be something that you think about a little bit before you do it. And I think the fact that we talk about it all day, every day, to your point, makes everyone feel like, okay, well then I, it makes everyone feel like, okay, well then I, this is how I should fix my face. This is how I should change myself.

So, because we don't really have a lot of people in the highest level of the public eye who don't change themselves anymore. And it's like, if you look at, you know, when we were growing up in the nineties and whatever, you, you look back at TRL or whatever, those like a variety show, every celebrity looked so different. They were beautiful. Obviously, always celebrities, you know, they're beautiful, but they all looked so different. They had different noses. They had different eyebrows. They had different lips. And that's just not true anymore. So I do, I am a little bit concerned with the trajectory. I feel that way too. Like I think about my 20s and, you know, if I could have afforded buckle fat removal,

like I was ready to go. But that's so silly because your face is meant to be nice and plump. I feel that way today. I do. I agree. I'm confident now in my face. I feel that way. that way today I do I agree I'm confident now in my face I feel that way it sadly took like a first few dates with Dave where he told me my cheeks were beautiful and I was like I will do

anything you say forever unfortunately he never told me anything to do but um I yeah that scares me that like if I could have afforded it or maybe if it was more of a culturally like normal thing to do that I would have done it. And then I – that would suck. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I think I'm with you. Like I think I definitely would have gotten buccal fat removal.

Really? Like, yeah. I mean I think for me it was just, I don't know, part of like having a bad body image. I would just want to have like a slimmer looking face. And I would be, I don't mean this against anyone who had buccal fat removal, but like, I'd be devastated if I did that now. Like if I had had it done in my twenties and I was like, I don't know, I think I'd be really sad. Yeah. I'm just glad I didn't know that was on the table. It's not like I had the money to do it anyways. Because like, I think Jenna told me about it. Jenna told me about it too. She wanted it too, but she also didn't get it. I know. Thank God. Thank God. But yeah, same thing. Big cheeks, kind of more like square face. And I remember getting Masseter Botox for my TMJ and thinking, like, all the girls are getting it to slim their faces.

I absolutely hated the way I looked. I cried about it until the Botox finally wore off. It took away my youthful face. youthful phase. Like the reason that I am almost 40 and that I feel like I'm aging well is because of my naturally fat cheeks. Like why on earth would I make myself even more like gaunt in that way? And I hated it. It helped with the headaches and the TMJ stuff for sure. But what a regret. I'll never do it again. And it's just not for everybody. Yeah. One thing I've heard you talk about like recently, you know, when you're kind of more going on more first dates, a couple months. I love that I know all this about you. Is you would go on dates with guys and they wouldn't ask you any questions?

Yeah. Wait, this is an epidemic. No, it's literally crazy. No, it's literally crazy. And it's really sad because a lot of girls don't even know. They don't even notice because they go into the date thinking I have one objective to make this guy like me. And it's so heartbreaking. And I just, I don't know. It's to me the first thing I notice if they ask questions and they listen. They just, I mean, beyond asking questions, some of them just sit there and I'm like, okay, I guess I'll do practice for my comedy special. Like, let me just get out my notes and like do an hour stand up for you. And it's just like, I'm kind of done with it, but I'm only getting to that point now. I'm 33. And I, if, if now, if it, my friend was like, um, my friend Sierra was like, now I just sit in silence. If they're one of those

guys, cause you know, you know, that type of guy where you sit down and you can just tell like, they are, they're not going to do 10% of the work. They're not even going to volley the ball back and forth. They can't even do that. And she just said, she was like, just sit in silence. Just look at them and they can speak first. And it's just, she's right. Because I'm just like, I had a couple of exhaust, when I was getting back into the dating game this, at the top of this year, I had a couple of exhausting experiences where I was like, I sat down and it was just insane. It was just so crazy. Or the other thing that they'll do is like, if I keep asking questions because like I'm a curious person and I'm on a date, I'm there to learn about you.

They won't like, they forgot how to converse. So it'll be one time I timed it and it was 40 minutes of just talking about him. I was asking him questions. And like, I was asking him questions. And like, it's true. I could be an investigative journalist, like move over Anderson Cooper.

But like, it's a date. You should be like, what about you? Or like, oh, da, da, da, 40 minutes. Do you think I care about your family's commercial real estate business? Do you think I fucking care? I don't. Okay. I don't. I don't care about your new apartment. I don't care. Like, oh my God. So it really, it goes into two categories. When I sit down, I can either tell they're not going to do any of the work or I can talk to them about the seven deadly sins. But why do you think that is? Because so when I was single, I was on hinge, but I would only, I went on dates with mostly girls. And the reason that I found those experiences to be

really positive is because conversation was just infinitely easier. And it's not even that I went on dates too, because I was necessarily like, oh, like I'm a lesbian now. But I think it's because it was, I was, I wanted positive dating experiences again. And I knew that I could not find that with men. So I was like, okay, let's start with the introduction with girls. Cause they know how to talk and you come out of this probably just gaining a new friend because girls aren't weird about just, okay, cool. That didn't work out. Let's be friends. And then I finally did go out with a guy. Painful because it was the opposite of you. It wasn't that he didn't ask questions. He just didn't let me speak it was just

he was giving a full dissertation about his life it was like he was trauma dumping didn't give me space to even like interject nothing I was like oh this is like I I'm gonna go home this is terrible yeah I also saw that you had kind of had some dating posts and chats on your podcast like of guys taking really big swings and taking you on like big fancy second dates where you like where are you let's get get get put pants on yeah like what was that isn't that your dream master let's fly to paris and shop for 12 hours four hours but yes i do have this dream where i want to fly to paris get there at like noon have lunch go to the french pharmacy fill my suitcase with cosmetics and then just go home

but that's less of it that's a friend date yeah oh that's a friend date i want that to be a friend yeah that i cannot if you guys have interest what see me later what's considered a big swing um well this guy he did take me our second date he took me on his helicopter it was his helicopter yeah which was crazy um it was fun it didn't work out we're friends now but that was definitely like a big swing i had another big swing recently when is this this going to come out? Beginning of May. Yeah, like a month. Okay. I think it's fine to say then. A guy did fly across the Atlantic Ocean for our fourth date recently. Oh, whoa. But it didn't work out. We're friends now. Really? Are you making that prediction for the future? No, no, that would be so brutal.

I feel like I'm about to break up. Was it the big swing that made it not work out? No, it wasn't. It would have happened wherever that date was. It was just, but it was sweet. I mean, it was cool. And I didn't, I didn't ask him to do that. I was just like, yeah, if you're down, like the cool thing about dating in your thirties if I had had that experience in my 20s, I would have been so bent out of shape, felt like I owed him something because he came and, you know, I had to carry it on or whatever. And I was just like, look, you're amazing, but I don't think we have chemistry and that's it. It's fine. So you can just be honest. It's like, is it it possible that and I'm just making this up out of thin air is it possible that the fact that he traveled that far and wide to come see you like made you like

ached me out yeah no it didn't it didn't because when we were there, we just, I don't know. I could just tell like it wasn't, we didn't have that chemistry, you know, but it's okay. I thought about, my mom was like, you are, you know, you're ached out because he's showing it. I was like, no, I'm not. I'm really ready. I'm ready for that. And I'm really like in a good place with that stuff. I'm very receptive to guys doing nice things for me now. I wasn't always, but it just wasn't a match. Esther, I have a question for you. Have you ever rejected a guy and said, hey, we don't have chemistry? Never. That part of my life hasn't come up yet. No.

You've never had the pleasure of telling someone hey like i like you you're a great guy thank you for flying across the atlantic but like this isn't gonna work there was one guy where i was like we were on a walk and he was like do you think if i had a soccer ball i could hit that stop sign and i was like all right this can't go on much further like I knew and but I so there has been but when it it's it's kind of ones where you knew the whole time you're not that into them but what's like why am I even entertaining this this long do you envy not ever having that rejection experience I don't envy it but I'm so curious about it I'm so fascinated especially when you know in the beginning of we're chatting and you said I ended it with this guy I was obsessed with him for a year like I have a guy that I've

been obsessed with for a decade I did not fucking end it like he did. And so I can't imagine your position of being able to end it. But this also brings me to something that you talk about a lot, which I feel like I never got to apply in dating, which is like, you touched on it. Like, not as about how he, how does he feel about me? How do I feel about him how do I feel about him it's so important it's so important and I only started asking myself that when I was like 30 which is sad um but it just that's the way we're conditioned because we're conditioned as women in this country that men are more important that you're not valid until you have a man that your entire goal in life is to be wanted by men and to you know solidify that with a relationship and that you are worthless until then.

So it's no wonder that a lot of young women who date men are completely desperate to find a relationship in their 20s to the point where they don't even say like, wait, does he know my last name? Dating for three weeks. Does he even know it? Does he even know my last name dating for three weeks does he even know it does he even know my favorite color that's interesting that he brought me to this restaurant because he knows I'm allergic to this he doesn't even you know so it's just like it's it's a paradigm shift when you wake up and you're like oh do I even like him yeah that seems very eye-opening and like something I never so simple but but not nothing I applied in my 20s at all like being liked and adored and being the object of someone's desire was the goal yeah totally and that somehow fueled my mind to think that this is the love that I needed. You, this is like Ting's super fan question.

You, on your podcast, you talked about this guy who you both agreed, you and him, you did not have a great first date, but you did have a really great second date. Yeah. Because he didn't ask me any questions on my first date. Is that one still in play or? No. Okay. So you were just able to offer him just be like, maybe it was an off day for him. Let's give him another chance. Or was it because he was really hot? You know, I don't, it's because he called me. It's because he called me after and like, I'm a sucker for like a call. And I was like, it was, it was a very short first date like I'm a sucker for like a call and I was like it was it was a very short first date I'm a big fan of a short first date and I was like let me give him the benefit of the doubt

let me give him the benefit of the doubt and go on a second date and he called me which I really liked and he was like I had a great time and then and then I was like okay interesting yeah all right we'll go on another one and then the second was better and the second one I went right into it for me I feel like it's better for me to just be myself up front and start asking like questions about the seven deadly sins and just going into it. Because if I sit down and I go into like, so where are you from? I have a really, I think I kind of act like a freak too. So the second date, I was just like, let's go. Like, what's your attachment style? Like, let's talk about it. Like, who are you voting for? Like, let's go. Like, what's your attachment style? Like, let's talk about it. Like, who are you voting for? Like, let's get into it.

So, yeah, he's sweet, but no chemistry. Oh, my God. You're like, when do you, what age do you want kids? I do say that all the time. Do you really? We have some dating questions from our listeners, the slugs. Okay. Because on your amazing podcast,

you tend to get a lot of questions about this stuff and you always give really good advice. Okay. Oh, this is a good one. When is it an appropriate time to move in together? This is, for me, I moved in with every single boyfriend I've ever been with since the age of 17. And maybe because it was a financial thing. I don't remember now, but I've never not lived with a boyfriend. And I find that to be a little bit problematic now. I'm similar to you. The second I learned about the concept of living with a guy, I was like, I'm not seeing you more than three to six months if we're not living together. Why did we do that?

What I would tell myself then was like, going to bed and waking up are the best parts of a relationship. So what's the point of having one if that's not what we're doing? And then obviously Dave had to set a boundary and then I had to push the boundary. And yeah. How long before you guys moved in together? I tried right away and I think like six to eight months maybe. Wow. Yeah. Oh my God. You're horrified. I know. I'm excited. I know. It's personal. I don't think there's a right time. I've like only lived with one boyfriend and it was because he like didn't want to pay rent so

he just moved into my room. But I've like never moved. I, I mean, it will be, if I get married, like it will be difficult for my, to let my husband live in the house. I have a lot of girlfriends who are sort of doing this now. Um, one of my friends, she's been married for, they've been together for 13 years and they've never lived together. They've been married for five. That's my dream. That's my dream. I like my space. I don't want to do all this stuff around the boy. Really? Like what? You don't want to poop? I don't either. Separate bathroom. But there's doors. I don't care. I just, I don't. I need my time. I need my space. I want to do my skincare routine. Sometimes I'm very moody in the mornings. I want him to see me as like a mythical, beautiful

creature, which I know is at odds with all of like my hyper feminism stuff, but like, sue me. Do you think you'll ever live with a guy? I hope not. No, I'm just kidding. No, I do. I do. And I'm very, I'm very like wherever I'm at is like where I'm at. Like in a year I'll be living with someone and I'll be like, I can't imagine not living with a boy. Like I'm very, which I love and hate about myself. You're open to change. I'm so like strong opinions loosely held. Like that is me at my core.

So yeah, I'll flip. Don't worry. As I've gotten older though, I've been a lot more careful about who I live with. And it's also a pain to like, if you need to break up, like separate the stuff, move out. Like that's so much more traumatic than just being like, okay, we're broken up now. Yeah. And it's like back then it was like so cheap to break the lease.

Yeah. Now those things aren't at play. And even now, and I've been seeing my boyfriend for a a while now like there's no talk about moving in together really maturity and and I think it's because you get to that age where like you like your life yeah you like who you are you like your own company and there isn't it's it's hard to beat that and not to say that I don't love being around him. Of course, like at some point, of course, we're going to move in together because it just makes sense. But it's not as urgent as it was when I was 20 and I just had this idea of being like sharing a toilet. Yeah, but all of that, I think at 39, just like evaporated from my being.

I should go home and kick Dave out. Kick him out. And be like, actually, I changed my mind. He'll be like, this from my being. I should go home and kick Dave out. Kick him out. And be like, actually, I changed my mind. He'll be like, this is my house. Some people make the argument that if you move in, though, you'll immediately know whether or not you'll like the person. So true. So true.

Because you really find out who they are. You really figure it out, yeah. Like more than marriage because you're living with them. I feel like I did not learn anything new from moving in okay but i i that does make sense yeah he certainly did i did not um and by then he was stuck so it worked out okay how do you stop anxious attachment from ruining your relationship? You have to go to therapy. Yeah. You have to.

It's really, I mean, it's good that you know because I think if you're self-aware, that's the first step. But it can be a killer to relationships, but it's not your fault. It's just like shit from your childhood probably. So you need to go to therapy and figure it out so it doesn't. I love the phrase, speak from the scar, not from the wound. Like live from a healed place, basically. You have to go to therapy and figure it out. Did you have like a messed up attachment style that you had to work through? I just think that I just wasn't even like dating as myself in my twenties. I was just like, I wanted to be like, have a boyfriend so badly that that just, that

was the main issue that I had. What healed my anxious attachment was dating someone who was more anxiously attached than me and realizing how fucking annoying they were. And I could not stand to be around this person. Like I, it was just maddening to, and to the point where he called me avoidant and i'm like nope that is not certainly not my attachment style at all i've usually i have been like historically anxiously attached i've swung into the secure yeah over the years but dating someone more anxious it was like oh this this is how i've been yeah to my partners no thank thank you. I need to fix this. That's so real. I always thought I was anxious and then I learned I was anxious avoidant, which is like the second that you feel like they're pulling away.

You're like, nevermind then. I don't like, I never liked you. Actually, let's break up. I don't like you either. Yeah, but which is all fake. You're in that like very small percentage of people then that kind of swing into avoidant. Yeah, like I remember in college once i had this date with this cute guy and i like couldn't believe

it like the first few weeks of school and i and then the night of the date he's like my car broke down and i sent him this long message that was like actually i don't think this is a thing like you go live your life like what you know this long thing of, you know, we're just please stay away. And it died there. It died there. And then I see on Facebook pictures, you know, when we used to upload albums of his car being towed. Oh, my God. And I'm like, okay.

Did you try to fix it after that? No, I didn't even give it another thought, which is weird. You doubled down on your this isn't working. I think I doubled down and then started a fling with his ugly friend. Which is amazing. The correct move. I won, clearly. I won.

Did you want him to respond to that? Is that why you did that? Did you want him to be like that? Is that why you did that? Or like, did you want him to like, be like, I'm obsessed with you now? I think I wanted him to say like, no, no, please. I swear. That's always what you want. Yeah. I was always this bid for being begged, you know, or something, which is pathetic.

Yeah. A beg now would ick me out. Yeah. Please don't beg yeah esther you'd love beggars still i that's a really good question i think i still would like to be someone to you know the grand gesture a little bit i you know a grovel fine. A beg is a no-go. But a grovel to me insinuates that they fucked up. They've done something wrong. What would beg...

I guess it's the same thing. It's like when I try to say there's a difference between present and gift. Oh God, here we go again. What's the difference again? Remind us. I tried to convince Dave once that a present is something that you get when you're expected to get it, like a party, like a birthday or a holiday. And then a gift is like a bonus surprise.

And he was telling you it was a synonym. Yeah, and I haven't gotten a present or a gift in 10 years. So it didn't like help us. This one is a very common one I think that people go through. My sex drive is not as high as my boyfriend. What can I do? Get high. Yeah, I don't know.

Masturbate. Honestly, I recently read the book Come As You Are, which is very dense. It's kind of like a textbook. But it explains a lot about our sex drives and like all the things that affect them. And it was very interesting. And if that doesn't work, just get a good vibrator. Mine, you know, it's an ebb and flow for me. It's like sometimes it's really high.

Sometimes it's like, please don't even breathe in my direction. And I think that what men don't understand is that truly how our hormones fluctuate within a span of 30 days. Right, because isn't there only like five days where we want to get fucked a lot? And part of it is when we're on our periods yeah which is crazy and um yeah because when i'm in my luteal phase like not only is do i feel horribly ugly but i just don't feel um like my head is so the sex part of my brain just flies away yeah i just i'm now realizing like when i'm ovulating in the future because that's obviously like when you want to have sex when you're like hornier or whatever for a woman um i'm gonna be so terrified of getting pregnant that i think it's gonna ruin

my sex life i think i need to get a female vasectomy or something. Like, I don't, I'm so upset. We'll see how the first baby goes first. Maybe you'll be excited. Maybe you'll be like, put another one in there. Tinks. The pregnancy. I know everyone keeps telling me I'm going to change my mind after. And I, it just.

And it's okay if you don't, by the way. The pregnancy is too hard. Yeah. I can't, I can't do it again. Yeah. It's so funny. Do you not think that? Because like my sister has four kids and she explains each pregnancy as hell.

But she's like, there really is an amnesia. I hate that. That happens. Yesterday I said to Dave, I was like, if I like fall for that trick and I'm like, I want to get pregnant again, would you stop me? And he's like, no. And I'm like, oh, I don't feel safe around you anymore. Like the fact that you would let me do that. Wait, is that why you journal your symptoms like really diligently? Yeah. In my journal. You should make a video to your future self. That's true. I, cause I also like, I'm keeping a log of the pregnancy. Like, like it's basically like fake for my child where I'm

just like a fake smiling in all my pregnancy photos and I'm like mommy can't wait for baby which is true but I'm not I've actively chosen to not include in my diary like how miserable I am because that's not going to be helpful for her. But in my private journal, I look back at it and it's, I'm like, this is the most pointless journal I've ever made. Every day it's like, I'm miserable again. I don't feel good. When is this over? I'm like, I have to hide this.

I have to burn this when my daughter is born. She will eventually understand. Yeah. She herself will grow up to be, you know, equally as miserable. Like my mom recently told me, and I know that you had a similar thing happen to you, Esther. My mom was like, I was a mistake. I didn't know this until last week. I was an unplanned pregnancy.

She was breastfeeding at that time. And in the 80s, they thought, well, if you're breastfeeding, you can't get pregnant. That's right. They used to believe that. Yeah. Right. So that's why my sister and I are so close in age. And she was like, you were absolutely not planned.

I was shocked and really sad when I found out. Did she not want another? Not immediately because she had just had a baby. She was still breastfeeding. Yeah, she was still breastfeeding. That's a lot of work. So my sister and I are only like a little bit over a year apart. Whoa.

And so imagine that. And this is my mom is kind of like a superhero in that she was very anti-stroller, anti-car seats. Like she wanted to like carry her babies. Anti-car seat isn't really a superhero. Well, that's illegal. No, in theilippines it's not okay yeah you just you just trap your baby onto the moped and you five at a time you just yeah you just fly fly on the freeway um but but yeah she was like you were absolutely like not wanted

i'm like that doesn't hurt my feelings you were a bonus surprise you were an unplanned surprise but at 39 my mom telling me that I'm like oh no I get it yeah like that sounds miserable yeah yeah yeah you didn't take it personally no but maybe not tell a 4 year old right right right I have an uncle who was like supposed to be aborted

and he's like 60 and he's still not over it and I'm like grow up when was he told what age i don't know but i'm just like disgusted by his behavior i feel like boys would have a real big beef yeah of course they would yeah they would take it so seriously it's like relax you're here on earth just enjoy it he's like not he's 65 and not over it i'm like you're a fucking loser. You're a loser. That's your wound? Be realistic.

Yeah, that's wild. Who gives a shit? Esther's on a tear. I hate my uncles. I hate them all. I guess we're wrapping up, right? Like, is there anything else that you wanted to talk about or, like, that we could cover, future things to look forward to from Tinks. I know you're DJing.

I'm DJing now. Yeah. Woo. Just learned for real, not like fake influencer DJing. Like I actually learned. So that's good. We need to make sure that these Gen Z kids start going. I'm going to lead the revolution. Yeah, I'm going to lead the revolution.

Like I'm here to make clubbing cool again. So that's exciting. And yeah. That does sound fun because the truth is we all know this. Staying at home doesn't make you feel better. No, it makes me feel worse. I literally am like uglier when I don't drink. I swear.

I believe it too. I really feel that way. I think you're right. Although there is a puffiness post big night out that I don't miss. You can either get like the glass skin where it looks like you got really, really tasteful filler done, or you can look like, you know, you haven't slept in three days. Yeah. It's a gamble. So, but like I said, I live on the edge. So I take that gamble every time.

I actually also like the look of like looking a little tired. I don't know. I think that's hot. That looks good on you. Like a little dark under eye. Slept on makeup is a really good look for you, I think. Yeah, that makes me feel young. Whether it looks makes me look young. You're Gen Z, so. Yeah. Makes sense. So the Gen Zers, they're just going to candy shops? Is that what

they're doing? That's all they do. You're right. You know, my 22-year-old niece went to go to the fucking flower field. It's spring break,. You're right. You know, my 22-year-old niece went to go to the fucking flower field. It's spring break, right? Spring break this week. And her and her boyfriend, who's also in college, they had a wholesome day in San Diego. They went out to eat. They went to the zoo. They went to Anza Borrego to see the flowers. I'm like boring the fuck are you guys doing very wholesome this sounds like or i i don't know if you guys remember early days of la like i don't know 12 years ago even if you weren't living here yet but um millions of milkshakes yeah of course of course

that was like my late night jam. And I would go buy my, I would do a set at the comedy store or I would just like hang out and watch. And then I would go buy myself, get like the Miley Cyrus milkshake. Millions of milkshakes walked. So air one smoothies could run like that. They like, do you remember all the pictures of celebs that would be like yeah it was rocking and i would like look and i mean i didn't live in la at that time but i would read it in us weekly and i'd be like oh my god like this is like that's where they would go well let me tell you it was very sad the actual reality of the celebrities of being in there by myself rob kardashian at 1 a.m

getting a milkshake also you could get your milkshake made as a sundae. So I got the Miley as a sundae and I think it was like brownies on top, on bottom and then cookie dough on top. And did they stay open late? They were open really late and that was the whole thing. That was why it was my vibe in 2009 and 10. So iconic. I remember right around like a decade ago when Sprinkles Cupcakes started with their ATMs. I love Sprinkles Cupcakes. That was a legendary move on their part. And I remember Jenna and I like having a meltdown and she was like fighting the ATM because it wouldn't pop out. I love sweets.

I do too. What is your like go-to's right now? What am I obsessed with right now? I'm a big fro-yo girl. Like I really like a – I like Yogurtland. But still fro-yo – oh, frozen yogurt. Oh, Yogurtland. I haven't been in years.

Yeah, I like to do it myself. Can I just say I've swung completely back to Pinkberry. I know. I love Pinkberry. And you know how Pink berry was the first that we kind of really it was a staple and then everything else came out i almost got hit by a car the first time i tried pink berry why because i was like walking across the street without looking i couldn't look away from my cup i couldn't believe how good it was i like almost died it's really

serious but yeah you know then all of a sudden like a hundred different fro-yo shops came out. Yeah. It's good. It's good. Nothing beats pink berry tart. Do you guys like Go Greek? It's so far from where I live, which kills me. It's so expensive.

It's the best. It's so expensive. It's so creamy. It's actually crazy. It's so creamy. It's so good. But it is like, it is an actual, actually this week I went to go Greek and I spent less than $20. So if the US government needs me to fix the budget, like apparently I can, like it is, I have never gotten out

for less than 20 before. What do you get there? I just get the regular tart, but then you get some of the toppings and it's like, it's just, it's insanely expensive. I think it's the most expensive frozen yogurt on the market. Like I swear to God. But it's very good. For people who don't know, it's insanely expensive. I think it's the most expensive frozen yogurt on the market. Like I swear to God. But it's very good. For people who don't know, it's in Beverly Hills. It's way too far. And it's like real Greek yogurt. It's so good.

And it's just creamy and it's good. They have rice pudding too, which like if you're grossed out by rice pudding, grow up. Grow up. It's really bomb. Who is grossed out by rice pudding? I know. It's bomb. It's so good.

And I don't know. I really like it. Do you ever had culture in New York? Yeah. It's so good. And I don't know. I really like it. Do you ever had culture in New York? Yeah, it's not my jam. I just I don't I can't eat fro-yo in New York. What? I know. I know. It's one of those weird things. I'm like, it's just not. I want to be in L.A. I want to be sitting in a parking lot somewhere like gossiping with my friend. I just can't. I'm in New York. I'm like, what? I'm

going to be attacked by a pigeon while I walk on the street. I don't like to eat in public there. It's so dirty. I'm like, you can't walk. Here, it's so like, oh, let's go. What flavor are you getting at Yogurtland? They change their flavors every month, so it depends. But peanut butter normally. I haven't been in so long. If they have peanut butter, I like that one. Yog butter normally. I haven't been in so long. If they have peanut butter, I like that one. Yogurt land. I haven't done yogurt land. It's good because they have like all the nasty toppings. Yeah. You can get nasty there. And I like, yeah, I like those ones. And what do you get at Pinkberry? It's the same. Tart? Tart or the raspberry tart. It has to be tart. I don't, I can't associate frozen yogurt with anything sweet.

It has to be tart. And then I get the mochi, double mochi. So good. Coconut, mango, and kiwi. So all the tart stuff in one, just with the contrast of the slightly sweetened mochi. But that's it. We actually almost went to Pinkberry last night, but it was closed and we got magpies instead, which is soft serve.

Right. It's just, you know. Not a bad. I love a vanilla soft serve with a chocolate hard shell. That's all I need. So good. Simple and delicious. Yes.

Like even you could just roll up to McDonald's. For a while they were doing dipped cones and that was really huge for me. But I think they discontinued it. So Tink's has do you in like five minutes but do you want to give out your just bags oh yeah Tinks here's what I wanted to give you I am launching a hair care line oh my gosh congratulations I have a bag for the both of you it's called ebb ocean club What a cool name. Thank you. Kalilah part-time lives in Hawaii, and she's like an ocean queen.

I am a lifelong diver slash ocean girl, and I've never found anything to suit my needs of performance hair care, but that's also ocean safe, reef safe, hyper clean. It doesn't have the petrochemicals. Fragrance free, right? No, it's not. It's mildly scented, but with a very specific type of scent, I think you'll like, Esther. I am so excited. Kalilah, I can't believe I finally am holding this. This is so cool. Thank you. The branding is so beautiful and calming. Thank you so much, you guys. I've been working very hard on this for the last year and a half and i want to say this um you know how like a lot of like american hair care brands like we really have we don't give a shit what we put in our head you guys no but it matters dude we put silicones petrochemicals without even like blinking an eye and then if you look at spf there's all of this like oh you know we care about the ocean and it's reef safe

nothing none of that extends to like hair care or any other like cosmetics so Esther it is we go by EU standards so it's hyper clean this is the first ocean club I've ever been invited to it's so cute you're an honorary non-swimming member. It's so cute. Oh my God, I love the gentle scent and the packaging. It's Shiso moss. What? Yeah. I'm Asian, so you know we have to go with the Asian scent. This is so sick.

This is really beautiful. Oh my God, Kalilah, congratulations. Thank you, guys. I can't wait to use it. I know. It's a wash day tomorrow, so I'm going to use it. I'm very overdue. Let me know what you guys think.

I love feedback. Thank you. Is there anything else you can tell us about Ebb right now? When is it launching? This launches mid-May. You can go to ebboceanclub.com or on Instagram at ebboceanclub. And yeah, like, please enjoy. Give me all the feedback.

Let me know. Your hair looks really good. Yeah, hairballs. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to use it immediately to be like you. And I know my baby has hair because my throat is on fire. It has been for nine fucking months.

Is that what it means? Yeah. There's a correlation to the baby then being hairy. And you guys have seen Dave. It's obviously a hairy baby. I love a hairy baby. The last thing, too, that I saw you post about on Instagram, which is, like, sort of a shameful act that I related to.

Maybe you spoke about it on your podcast. I don't remember. But that, like, your mom will help you organize and you'll just, like, be on the bed. Oh, yeah. I'll lay on my bed and I'll be like, give it away i fold that do that and it's like the best thing in the world but we love to do it together that's my favorite thing to do with my mom that's how i am with my mom too best to organize we'll just take like an afternoon and like we'll go through everything in my closet

but i'll just lay in the bed indulgingging in sloth, one of my favorite seven deadly sins. And she'll just fold everything and she'll be like, this, keep it. No. And she's like, you should keep it. And I'm like, no. Oh my God. This is, I so relate. This is exactly what my Asian mom does for me. And it is her love language. She will never sit down and have like a real conversation with me, but she will absolutely fold everything in a very symmetrical way with the hangers perfectly spaced. And I love spring cleaning where I'm just like, well, whatever you think I don't need, just take it out and she just does it. I'm so glad that we all have this because it's so, so special.

Do you think it's that generation of mom? Because I don't feel like I'm going to do that for my child at all. I don't think I have that in me. I don't know. Do you? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. We'll see. Grandma will do it. Grandma will come by and take care of that. But I do love to bed rot while I watch my mom do things for me. And I just felt really comforted that you have that in your life too. I love my mom.

Because I feel really guilty. Tings, thank you so much for being here. This was so fun. It's truly an honor to get to ask you all my super fan questions. I highly recommend her book, The Shift. Highly recommend her podcast. Thank you. And I'm so glad you guys have been posting the AMA,

the live AMA episodes lately because those are so good. They get wild. The radio gets wild. The girls come in with stories. And then they get, they come in later

with follow-ups. I know. I love that. It's really fun. So thank you, Tings. Thanks for having me. And Kalilah, congrats on everything.

Thank you. It's so exciting thanks you found i know you have put so much work into this and also it's so like i'm i'm like very obsessed with products like you know millennia that's where i am a true millennial and i feel like this is so you and that's to me the most important thing because do you know how hard it is to be a podcaster appearing this way and convince people that, hey, I belong in the beauty space now. So this is endemic to who I am. I've been a lifelong diver. I am the guinea pig for this product. This has worked for my hair. And it's not just for girls who are surfers or divers. Like basically, if this works for me and the conditions that I'm in, it will work magically

for everybody. So thank you for saying that, Esther. I'm very excited. I'm a beauty girly now. I know. I knew you always had it in you. Mostly just because you pretty but um and thank you so much to our slugs definitely check out ebb and i think everyone's gonna love it and check out tinks and as always we will see you next week with a brand new episode