Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Trevor Wallace Flirts Like a Comedian

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

Thank you to our Sponsors: Nutrafol - Your hair story could help another woman.  Join the conversation at https://nutrafol.com/shedthesilence More Trevor WallaceStiff Socks Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/c/StiffSocksYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TrevorWallaceInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/trevorwallace/Tour Dates: https://trevorwallacecomedy.com/shows Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Trevor Wallace in for Lil Esther3:25 Trevor Wallace Flirts Like a Comedian10:23 Can Bobby’s New Car Stay Clean?13:37 Trevor Wallace’s Early Jobs17:04 Pepsi’s Sweepstakes Controversy in the Philippines & Our Witch Powers22:55 A Pleasurable Birth25:40 Trevor Wallace Ditched Annie at a Green Day Concert31:49 Friends & Ex Friends37:12 Stella Barey’s Stellar B Hole41:09 Chapagetti & Ramen44:37 Retiring From Comedy 47:14 Irresponsible Spending51:20 Proposals and Wedding Rings57:47 Hospital Beds, Electrical Chairs & Portable Toilets1:01:48 Trevor Wallace Looks Like Khalyla’s Step Brother Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Bryce Hallock

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply statement mobile for details hey guys come see me on the road if you already have tickets to skank fest in vegas come see me there if not that baby's sold out but next you can see me in irvine california san jose i'll be in michigan and florida and many other places go to annie letterman.com slash shows you can also hear me on my audio show on spotify live don't bore me. Every Monday night, check it out. It's on all my socials. And Annie Wood is coming soon.

So follow Annie Letterman on YouTube. You guys, it's time to talk about female hair thinning. Over half of women will experience hair thinning in their lifetime. It's totally normal. Your hair story could help another woman. Join the conversation at shedthesilence.com. That's shedthes the silence.com that's shed the silence.com is esther not coming in today you're esther damn replacing a jew with a jew okay okay i feel

i wasn't sure if you were jewish and that hair texture was in your picture was giving me like, well, my dad pops almost called him daddy. That was weird. My dad is pops. My father sounds like you did bang, but like you want to put distance between it. I never considered that. Do sons never call their dad's daddy? Or when is that? What age is that? Depends on the lights on or off. You kiss your dad in the mouth, dude. You love your dad. Yeah, up until I was like 17. You you know then i got my driver's permit i was like the fuck away from you kiss you on the mouth anymore dude yeah get off me daddy yeah daddy no uh dada that was probably so i was like 14 yeah dada wait can we move this board this way a little bit what is this topics when you start boring us this early i'm not bored i'm not bored at all we're talking about my dad i feel like i should be wearing my sunglasses i'm having such a good time yeah is that when you know you're fucking you're like on one well i took that could you tell i was on xanax yesterday no i've been stressed out i had like obviously not enough i've had no i know but then it's like

my arms felt heavy for the rest of the day i was like i'm never taking i was i was wait why would you take it just because i'm stressed out because of my fucking cold i just have had a cold and i just like i don't know i just was like you don't want to do like i just like i don't know i just like i'm not sleeping i keep having dreams i keep telling i'm having dreams where i can't run my last one was i can't run the week last week i couldn't scream no but the week before she was like on a golf course in space like what oh that was cool you might have even been on it oh it was a lot of comics i was there there was like a there was a slide a burt kreischer festival but i was so maybe were you on the burt what did you get

invited on the burt the next one did you get invited on the last one no yeah we'll be on the next one guys are you really just trying to get on no no we will be we will be yeah yeah i will he was just trying to get out of the way like the hacks and he wanted to get like the real comics on the next one so we'll be on that oh interesting yeah no we'll be oh interesting okay bring up topics now i'm bored now i'm bored you know what are you bored or are you bert you know uh no bert's great i he's literally it's what whatever he's doing is great wherever the next event is whatever he's doing is great that sounds so rude it's because i wasn't invited there's passive aggressive tones why the next festival is at a goddamn ikea let me do 12 minutes let me try to ikea you can go in but you could never leave it's like hotel california why did you look so

seductively in the camera when you said that was that that seductive? I don't know my sex levels. I don't know when I'm being sexy. Really? Do it. I know when. Do you think being in the comedic brain sense is harder to flirt? I don't know. I'm so bad at it.

I would just aggressively, I would cartoonishly flirt with guys. Okay. I don't know how two comics could flirt with each other. It's awkward. Real emotions. It's like a chess mat yeah it's not good it's it turns into therapy quickly you know because it's like five minutes like oh this is fun this is great then you're like i don't know sometimes i just look at my video views and they're down below and i just feel like my mom used to like yeah my grades weren't good enough yeah exactly but i'm curious so how both of you i mean how do you kind of i don't know i don't know

i just feel like how do we flirt no i'm saying because you're kind of coming at it from a creative or like comic perspective i don't know i just i feel like i struggle with it because my goal is to like not my goal but what i'm used to is self-deprecating right right being like oh well i'm such a pussy oh fuck me you know do you want to suck my tiny tits? The tits that you've ever seen. Right. I think that I don't use words like you know that I'm interested just based on like my you did squish those titties up a little bit. Trevor, she may be flirting with you right now.

Damn. Both of you guys have pillows over your laps. I really honestly. You guys are erect right now. What's happening? I have like a it's a pleather fupa right now. So I the pee foot. I could like a, it's a pleather fupa right now. The pee fupa?

I could do this, but that's not comfortable. You look like the first lady. You look like you're mourning the queen still. Sometimes people tell me, sometimes people have like been like, you look like Hillary Clinton. And I'm like, fair.

Hillary Clinton back in the day. And I'm going to say, you also look like Hillary Clinton. Wait, no, Hillary Clinton was, got hotter as she aged. Do we not look like young Hillary Clinton, the two of us? Yeah, you do. You look like hillary wait no hillary clinton was no got hotter as she did we not look like young hillary clinton the two of us yeah you do you look like chelsea both of you that's actually way ruder honestly chelsea oh chelsea oh yeah never mind hillary clinton that's okay well that's too young i look like i'm let's age up a little bit wait back to your question though about flirting i think what i'm

saying the content of what i'm saying saying never changes it's just my proximity to you okay so if i'm flirting let's say for if i'm not flirting you'll feel her breath on your neck right no that's exactly interesting so it's like we could be talking covid was rough for her like nobody knew or artificial plants yeah and it yeah. And it's still regular conversation when I'm flirting. It's just real close. Like I inch closer and closer. Really? That's the only difference.

Wow. I... You were just right here being like, where did you get those jeans from? Yeah. Fuck. Damn. So everybody at a concert thinks that you're into them. Right, exactly.

Why is bitch so fucking close? We're bringing up concerts. Trevor and i've been to some pretty epic concerts together honestly we did we went to a green day concert that fucking festival life is beautiful in vegas oddly really fun i know it was so fun i honestly life is relatively attractive is how i felt about the audience but i had a lot of fun and i think i took a page out of your book and i just kind of had like instead of being like so like i need these jokes to work i need to wear jeans shorts you know steam my t-shirt i wore like short neon shorts and a pink cowboy hat yeah and i felt good about it yeah you gotta this is like who gives a fuck because people are on mushrooms they're on those music festivals that have comics like is that always like a nightmare uniformly you would think this one was inside and it was actually it was inside they

actually did all the shows like packed it was actually good and everybody did like 20 minutes yeah which is a perfect amount of comedy for somebody who's on ketamine right they're like let's let's keep it going everybody was like we're we're gonna have like a pretty fun fast good show and then we're all gonna get fucked up a much green day i didn't stay i miss billy eilish sorry bitch um but i saw ludicrous did you go to ludicrous i did ludicrous was hilarious you know i just listened to the entire word of mouth album again like three oh it's a fucking masterpiece he's great but what was funny was seeing ludicrous in like 2022 because now he's like pc he's like where's all my fucking bitches at that are respectfully getting equal pay as everyone i swear to you and he kept going he kept going like this song came out 20 years ago i was like don't say time we're on mushrooms no time there's no

time like we're all dying no we're young now y'all getting old did he sing area codes of course when he did he goes he was like he's literally said he's like he's like he's like i've got hoes in respectful area code like he like literally like made it an effort to be like i am pc luda is that a cup of noodle i'm gonna try i'm gonna try to just eat i've never really is that why you guys had to push the podcast 30 minutes today i thought you pushed it i thought you guys pushed it i did i um i have a slap tear on my shoulder don't be cute about it she got it from a slap bracelet she did it too high wait is that the ones where you hit it and then it wraps on

your hand i love those things i miss those what are those are great i love them or my i just tore my shoulder damn yeah just ripped right off learning too hard what happened oh jesus christ she's really single she's just, being single is really tricky. Well, okay. I am also. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. No, she's still a great person. We're on good terms.

I talked to her yesterday. Is this the one with the Range Rover? Yeah, the car. Yes, I remember. She had a nicer car than me. I just had to be like, we're done. What kind of car did you drive in here? Oh, Tesla. I got a Tesla. You did? Yes. Why oh tesla i got a tesla you did yes why uh no i got a three okay what color black with

the white seats white seats yeah i got that i got that cream pie baby we're getting a tesla no it is a different lifestyle i literally had to order it like eight months ago like it was really on your way out of the relationship no things were going good it's just uh it's so much with the schedule and it's like our times where she worked office hours and i was doing stuff and then stand up at night it's just we never do videos with you no i could never i like i met her once so i'm always like is that her every time i see you with the video oh no no no she didn't but um we're still in good terms. I just, you know, we just maybe not right now, maybe later. But I like her.

That's so tricky. For me, it's like Bobby cannot stop showing me girls he's going on dates with. Interesting. And it's like, hey, slow down a bit. You know, he's always like. Are they hot? What are they looking like? Well, one of them is so hilarious.

He went on a date with a girl on Sunday. And are you like coaching him through this? She didn't know who he was, but she was like, wait a second, you look familiar. She's like, oh, I know your girlfriend. I'm a big fan of her show. So I felt like that was such a win for me. Oh, so she didn't know who Bobby was, but she knew this show. She knew me.

She's like, you remind me of a picture behind my favorite podcaster's head. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah i think so can we take it down no all right tell me when you're ready and then let's take it down no i love him i want to keep him close always no i'm right that's how i feel in my relationship like i still love her as a person i still want to like wait we should set bobby up with your ex-girlfriend yeah yeah i'm a fucking yenta bitch is that not a great idea answer i saw i saw bobby last night he got that new car that's a pussy wagon i know i was because he went from the prius to like a fucking like nice ass car where you got a crunch crunch crunch when you get in yeah i'm sure the car inside smells like cheetos but the outside looks great it's the first car he's actually truly taken care of is it still clean yeah it's still

clean i was making a bet with him but he walked away in the middle of the event what was the bet it was just gonna be like at a certain day i was gonna put it in my phone if you're he's like no i'm keeping the inside clean but there's no way you're gonna keep it clean you are who you are it's impossible no in one year he's gonna try he isn't who he is like no long he is no longer who he was for nine years like he is on medication now like things are working out because of you know he's uh he had untreated adhd for so long so he never really had like the patience to kind of yeah eat through a task look i feel that i'm tree i've had treated add for a very long time yeah you're eating a cup of noodle over pillows things are not going well what i'm trying to say is the best i've been doing in months buddy this is me this is

me and my best baby i'm peaking no you're doing great but i am saying like like and you we live in the same part of town when you have to drive like 45 minutes for spots it's like you're eating protein bars there's fiber energies there's iced coffees all over the car it's like you want to be clean but then you just start having shows and your time schedule gets fucked up and then you look back and you're like why there's a recycling plant in my back seat like i gotta fix my friend calls it the ball pit she always comes and kicks her feet around hilarious yeah but in a pinch you need something there's always something back there yeah yeah running shoes or nunchucks or just about sometimes it is like i'm like do i have bo or did i leave a hoagie

in the back seat like it is like that sometimes when you only get hoagies in philadelphia well i guess they're called subs listen boys think they're better than us they think they got more going on than us they're not the only ones that have thinning hair we ladies this is feminism baby okay we also have thinning hair in fact when i this is feminism, baby. Okay. We also have thinning hair. In fact, when I stopped taking birth control in my late twenties, all of a sudden my hair started thinning in ways like I could have never imagined. Cause I had a whole full head, um, had a hair and all of a sudden it was like half of that. And every day I would just see in the shower, more thinning and more thinning and I don't think enough girls talk about it I know because it's always like oh it's a man's problem it's not

it's not some of our hairlines could use some help some of our hairlines listen sometimes I spray like stuff colored stuff in my hair to make it look like I'm not having thin hair like I will go to great lengths to to hide it in pictures but I don't want to hide it in like I'm not having thin hair. Like I will go to great lengths to hide it in pictures, but I don't want to hide it in real life. You know, this is a real thing. It's all good. It's not, and it's not a big deal. It's something that we should all be talking about.

And, you know. But it's something that's fixable, right? Like for me, hair is important for my self-esteem and how I view myself. I've always had very long hair. I've always had long mermaid hair. So when that started going away, I started to really panic. You guys, so let's talk about it.

Your hair story could help another woman. Join the conversation at shedthesilence.com. That's shedthesilence.com. After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail

stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan

and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday.

$45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details now where are you from i'm from illinois but i grew up in southern california okay you are the esther oh but you grew up in she's illinois skokie i don't know that is i think it's a suburb okay i was born in naperville and then for two years and then we're like my mom's like fuck this fuck naperville fucking out and then southern california where camarillo camera oh camera you know where that is we got outlets baby freaking out where the outlets are at yeah we got

them camarillo um what do you what's there to do there outlets and beach well we had a donut shop too what was your high school job? Frozen yogurt Which one? It was called Wild Cherry And then did you do it for people Or no people do their own thing You put the No they would do it themselves

And then we still had the audacity To put a tip jar at the end People would make their own fucking And a guy asked me one time He goes do people People really tip you for this? And I was like yeah man Keep it down bitch

Yeah I was like yeah I gotta buy books for school but this is exactly but this is my basketball team this is pre-ipad day so this was just when coins people just like lob it in there make a wish i'm like here you fucking go i actually don't have it in me to not tip when they just flip the ipad i want to do a power move and flip it back to them like two can play this game and then just keep i actually just saw your video about the tipping one thank you i really liked i didn't say if i liked it yeah i know but you did say thank you but i liked um when is that a mood ring or a promise ring what is that this is

a mood ring with my dad so a promise ring the first time me and my dad fucked we decided let's make it official there you go um i'm in a good mood are you you? Let's make it a fish. Tipping. So I liked the part where you were in bed with a girl and you were like, she was like, what was that? A minute 35, you're like a minute 36, I think it's a record. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you. But we had a donut shop and I've never talked to us, but we had a donut shop in Camarillo.

And back in the day, girls would show their tits for free donuts. Yeah, this is like, it was like 20. Those must have been some fat titties. Donuts are really. Well, funny if you get

donut holes, you're like, damn, I need to fucking plump up a little. But yeah, this was like 2010, 2011.

And like, that was the thing. Did you make them like catch them in their mouth, the holes? I don't know. I was,

I was always like in the back. Like, they didn't let me see all that. Well, how, because the hair?

Well, the varsity, the varsity bros would be like. Did you ever throw like a donut hole through the gauges into their is pre-gauge days okay i thought about it this is um depending on the rating of the titties is how many donuts they were given that's a good point i think i think you aim high you'd be like let me get a baker's dozen and then they're

like 14 and you're like and then you just flash oh like you were hoping you were just getting them free with 12 yeah but then they stopped doing it but that was like the place we'd hang out that was like people would just get drunk there and hang out at the that was like the after party was it a 24-hour donut shop it was something like three or four that is fun three or four in camarillo is like i mean that's that's an all-nighter in vegas we would hang out at like uh where you from i have philadelphia okay i have the suburbs i have we'd hang out. I thought you said IHOB.

I remember when they did that. IHOB, yeah. Remember when they launched burgers? IHOB, oh, yeah. Idiots. Those idiots. All marketing. God, and it just didn't work.

We remember it, though, don't we? It's great. Yeah, it worked. Still not going. It was upsetting, but it's like Crystal Pepsi. Do we give a fuck? I miss it. Wait, what is Crystal Pepsi?

Clear. Maybe you were still in the Philz. Clear Pepsi. I'm'm philly we're both philly girls clear pepsi yeah you've never seen this you need to grow up kalilah i've never seen this you don't know this i will tell you a really fucked up pepsi story though so um i don't know if it was we're sponsored by cola um um but they're uh once upon a time sometime in like the early 90s pepsi did this um thing where it's like you would flip the what do you call it like under the the cap would be like a prize like a certain amount like you win oh but they had a misprint and this happened in the philippines oh no and um like i think it was like 300 people won the million dollar prize or something like that and so they they're they assumed like their

life had changed but when they went to go and like retrieve the money or like present the cap with a winning thing they were like oh yeah that was a misprint sorry no no no can you pull that up it's like the pepsi no no. I think this is just marketing. But then Pepsi never paid anyone anything. Good. Fuck them. How many people are in the Philippines? Like five, six?

But this is like an impoverished country, right? It's all marketing because think about the engagement. If I win a million dollars, I'm going to post that Pepsi account on my Instagram. I'm like, I'm fucking rich. Fuck everyone. I'm just promoting for free. That's free marketing. Okay.

So it's a 300, 349 number incident i don't know about that so in in 1992 pepsi philippines announced that they would print numbers and then how many this led to five deaths you said five right five deaths how do you what happened people just want it and they're like fuck yeah and they're just endorphins killed them. Pepsi's monkey fails. Or they killed each other for the cap. Whoa. That's so fucking sad. Oh, you know another thing.

Our podcast predicts either if people get together the next week or deaths like Ray Liotta or her ex-boyfriend or her ex-guy that fingered you on the airplane.

He died. He died. Really? We have to be careful about from getting fingered on an airplane? He rotted finger first. Really? We have to be careful about- From getting fingered on an airplane? His face, he rotted finger first. Wait, did he actually die? Yeah, he died.

We found out here on the show. I was like, pull up a picture of him because he was in a cover band. So I was like, pull up a picture because he's like, he was hot, but it was like funny, hot. He was like cheesy hot. Cover band hot. I was like, pull him up. And they're like, this is his obituary. Oh no. Did you feel any sadness in that that's crazy i mean i laughed but 4k cameras recording your facial reactions be like your

ex just died and you're like this next ad is brought to you by blue chew he was a nice guy he was a really nice guy we had stayed friends for a while he was a good guy on tiger belly we had this whole bit about bed bath and beyond and what bobby thought was like what he considered beyond items and then the next week that like the cfo jumped off like oh yeah rebuilding so i'm like we need to be on they put his pillows down was it a test they put the pillows down to see if they were good it's my favorite leon bridges song beyond beyond he's a great singer i only know one song but i don't remember what it is but I remember liking it. He's really good.

Soulful. Is that what you're going to say? No, I don't know. That's crazy. Soulful. Love it. What are we predicting now? Well, I brought up Ray Liotta and he died literally the next day. And then we brought up Brad Pitt. Bring up me getting some bitches. Emily

Ratajkowski and then they got together Trevor's gonna have to take time off from comedy Because he needs a break because he's getting so much pussy Too many women What kind of girls are you into? I like dark hair, brunette Thanks for like looking I don't want to lock eyes with Kalyana

Because then the comments will be like Is Trevor and Kalyana trying to be a thing? So I was kind of looking more at the plant if you and i had if you and i know we have wide eyes so sometimes you can't tell i can say if you and i put out a sex tape on only fans right now how much do you think we'd make oh my god oh my let's just say this podcast you guys take xanax for and do it you don't have to do it anymore the brand deals are paid i mean dude you put one fucking manscape to add that thing we're talking probably four mil honestly four mil call crypto probably four mil guys did you see pete davidson's new manscape video no yeah he's like he's like the face of it they don't care about us anymore they got pete davidson he's the balls of manscape

how much money do they have to so much money i'm telling you How much money did they have to? So much money. I'm telling you, so much money. Dude, Manscaped is all over again. All the UFC fights I watch. Well, I wish they were around when I was fucking. But like to even have Pete. Because there were bushes in my face. Hold up. A lot of bushes.

Yeah, the amount of money they had to pay him for this. Yeah. Easy a mil. Easy. No, more than that. Pete's like. Probably, yeah. Actually, yeah. Will you find out? Bryce, call him up. pay him for this yeah easy a mil easy no more than that pete's like probably yeah actually yeah

will you find out right call him up because i saw this during the kim days i couldn't imagine him like leaving kim kardashian side to be like i gotta go film this manscaped and isn't he getting isn't um chris jenner his manager wasn't she for a second oh i would that would not be at all if chris jenner i think it's so interesting when people have like family members as managers they're like the momager you're but it's weird when it's like your your girlfriend's mom i mean right but also it's chris jenner i would take it but it's also like a nice way of keeping the wealth in the family okay i could see that but it is also interesting it's like your dad used to do like sales well especially if it's like someone like chris jenner who is very much involved in like the the sale of the sex tape that's a little weird you know right so you're

like yeah okay looks like it's just rumors okay just rumors we don't support rumors yeah yeah we're all about real news we're about the truth none of this fake news stuff uh what do we have on the thing here voting for trump or what you know i'm really i'm just voting for whoever has the greatest vibes you know i just like it i like i go on ass honestly i go you on what who's got the best ass oh best ass yeah trump has a fucking wagon there's some photos of him golfing he's got hips there's some photos of him golfing and i mean it's he got the bbl um have you seen this woman who um is alleging that she orgasmed while she was giving birth to her baby oh god and that she was in a state of imagine he had seen that video i was like on your

thing i have that was like on your uh well like how would you feel if you later find out that as your mom was birthing you she was came all over you really hard she was coming on you is that a psychological coming of age story i'm honestly more interested in what's going on with you that you got to this article well orgasmic birth is not like a new is my tiktok algorithm is really fucking straight here's the thing when i see pregnant things though i do go i click i go who's pregnant oh manifesting this show it's not a fupa guys it's a fupa um i do think that that it's like what are you gonna do you can't control the body it's not like she wanted to do that but she's one of those oh fuck my they do hypnose birth yes yes so she was one of those what does that mean i'm so i'm new to this like um they like they rub her nipples when she's giving birth you know that's what it knows i study

hypnosis guys you just rub rub rub i'm curious what happened there's there's there's a you know some women who really like to go a different route um during their birth their birth plans look a little bit different right they're into you know meditative stuff like hypnosis stuff and i guess everything that she had done leading up to the actual point of labor um was done so that she would experience this euphoria so there it's premeditated like her coming on her baby it was premeditated so i want to know how you would feel if she's a squirter what if that squirting was just like water breaking the whole time oh wow i uh

but also you have to carry a baby for nine months let me let me get a nut off let's suppose your mom is telling all of her friends that yeah you know when i birthed trevor when i pushed so hard is that why all these kids have nut allergies it's starting to make sense yeah i would honestly be i would take that as an insult because i'd be like oh my i must have been a big baby because if i'm a fat baby you're pushing you're pushing you're pushing and you finally get that uh release like use that as a soundbite please someone basically you made your mom cum. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time.

It would have been the first time. Where's your mood ring? Come on. It would have been actually the first time. Damn it. You're going to call me out like that. It's weird that she didn't premeditate it. There it is. Can we edit that back together?

We don't want people to look back. Okay, pop, pop, pop, pop. Three, two, one. Wouldn't be last time. Laugh track. The premeditated part is weird. If you just did it to do it, then you're like, whoa, two, one, wouldn't be last time, laugh track. The premeditated part is weird. If you just did it to do it, then you're like, whoa, that felt amazing. Knock me up again.

I feel like we might have talked about this on your podcast, but I can't remember. You did leave the Green Day concert without saying goodbye to me and Todd. And I do want to get to the point, because it wasn't like a... Did I? But here's the thing. It wasn't like a... I like uh did i but here's the thing it wasn't like uh i realized later you weren't there it was like ice was like trev and you weren't there like it was like hey trev and you guys were all gone were you high drunk i was drunk okay i was i was off

the alcohol or were you done were you just like like, Annie, enough. You're talking through Green Day. No, I don't. It was on like, take this lonely path. And I was like, hey, Trev, was this a year graduate? Oh, OK. Yeah, that's my bad. I can't produce. But I mean, sometimes you just had a festival,

and your mind is just like, you should go see if they're still selling churros. You don't really have to. Yeah, you did have 45 people with you, too. You had an entourage. I had a little entourage. It was cool's cool as i've ever felt doing festivals and events like that you do feel cool well i keep my artist mouse i do feel like if it hadn't been and people have like accused me of being too like delusional but i'm like this delusion will make me friends with billy joe so i just thought if it wasn't covid we would have been able to just be hanging out

with green day well i think we did leave to go see if we can get backstage yeah oh is that where I just thought if it wasn't COVID, we would have been able to just be hanging out with Green Day. Well, I think we did leave to go see if we can get backstage. We went there, yeah. Oh, is that where you are? I already got there. He sends us coffee all the time. Apparently, he has a coffee company called Oakland, and we get Billy Phil coffee all the time. Really?

Yeah, and guitar picks. It's really cute. Wow. It's kind of rude. I know. I'm so sorry that you guys don't have that relationship. I know. We were like, if it wasn't COVID, we would have died to meet him.

Yeah. Like, he sends me a medium dose. He's actually, I'm always like sending him back. Send back to sender. Ew, too many. Allegedly, it's a coffee thing. We don't open it. We throw it away.

And the guitar pick. Don't forget, the guitar pick is what's special. Is that how you open the coffee? Yeah, I think we had backstage passes. So we're like, oh, we're a part of the band. They're like, we're here. No, this ends here. You should have seen Mount Shiprocked.

That's what you got to get on. It's a heavy metal cruise. And Big Jay Overson does a comedy show on it. Really? I won it with Seven Dust. It was Hoobastank was on it. I hate to say this, but the Seven Dust guy It was, uh, Hoobastank. Hoobastank. Was on it. Damn.

I hate to say this, but the Seven Dust guy is like a friend of mine. Also sends you coffee. Well, my joke was, listen, my joke on it was,

well, I, he was very nice to me. I go, I go, why are there only two black guys on this whole cruise and both of them

are the lead singer of Seven Dust? That was one of my jokes. Is it the black guy or no? It's the black guy. I thought you were like, when you looked nervous, I went, oh, she don't nervous i went oh she don't know oh no no i do know um i think his name is um he's the darius rutger of uh heavy metal yeah what what song did he sing i i've known the name i don't know is there one that like everybody knows um uh-oh i'm not on the

spot i'm not sure there's one unf popular one Unfollow her Not unfollow me So You're everything We love you So where does this I picture them Where does this cruise take you To Tampa

It took us to Cabo There's no way A heavy metal cruise Went to Cabo Were you performing Yes I was Yes I was Performance of my lifetime

Bombed Totally crazy That's why I'm friends With Papa Roach Really My sound was so bad That it was like We became friends

I can hang out I'm friends with Papa Roach. Really? My son was so bad that it was like we became friends. I can hang out. Hell yeah. Guys, I got a little one. Mine's still green. What does that mean? How do you guys open your binoculars? That means you're rich. Let's show me how you do it.

Oh, you're going to do the monkey thing? What's the monkey one? Where you're like, this is how they really do it. Oh, no. Somebody showed me that you can just bust the top. Do you want to see how I do it? Or you can do the bottom The top is how apes do it

I do this You rip some of your Oh my god Oh my god I mean Todd couldn't be a luckier man I mean he's at home watching this Being like that's my fucking girl Oh my god

You split the banana in half If you come uncircumcised you leave circumcised damn oh this is a has he ever has he ever said anything like you know i was a little much you should probably cut that i think it'd be hilarious if a guy said that you're like you're trying to tell me how to do my show? No, he, oh, like I'm being, no, I had a boyfriend once that. He's like, I don't want you talking. I had this moment in the middle of the night where I woke up panicking and I had a vision of what it would be like to be sitting in a coffee shop when I walk into it.

And I went, oh my God, everyone must think I'm crazy. I'm like so loud and annoying. Like, I just never had thought about what I looked like through other people's eyes. So I like, I like, you know, startled awake and my boyfriend's like boyfriend kind of like woke up and I was like, babe, am I too much? And he went, you're a lot. It hadn't occurred to me that I was like a psycho. You're a lot. That's like a nice way of kind of agreeing, but also being like, yeah, a little bit, you know.

I had this girlfriend break up with me. Hold up. Friendship break? She breaks up with all of her friends. She's this big girl. But she was like hanging out with one of my other friends. And she was like, she's a lot. I thought that was funny.

Yeah, no shit, bitch. This is fun. Do you think that's how people describe you to their other friends? friends like let's say you're joining a group of friends that you don't really know and you're showing up like she's um she means well she's like a lot but she's fun i wonder what people say about me what do you think people say about you this guy he looks like annie letterman you may know her she's the girl that's a lot why did you say that like you're bringing me up with a comedy story that looks like annie letterman but i'm just wondering if people like yeah like he drinks but he's fun he's a good hang he's fun i i like to i just uh linked my friend up with another friend of mine and the way i described her as actually good energy no i think he needed he needed a date to some function but not a casual i just oh nice it wasn't like a sexual like link up or anything

like that but i called her like not working I accidentally called her like a good time girl. But that's really how I feel inside. I'm like, she's such a good time. But I called her a good time girl. And he was like, Kyla, I don't know what you mean by that. I'm like, yeah, she's a good time girl. I get that. But it sounded really sexual.

And I felt immediately bad. I'm like, oh, I might have misrepresented her. It's weird to hook up two friends and not think that there might be some sexual chemistry. That's like there's Bumble BFFs. Shut up. Go fuck. Oh, I'm so disgusted. Wait, what is that?

You just friends on like Ryan. You swipe to hang out with people. Oh. Lonely. That's what I hear on Ryan. Go to Pilates. It's like you have the option to just be friends. Is that what it is?

Yeah. I guess, but it's like, I think that. But that's like networking then. What's the difference? But it's like you're scared. You're afraid to put yourself out there. I feel like people do that because it's less intimidating, but they're like, yeah, we're just boys.

And then they like slowly be like, that's crazy. You have some banana on your lip. Let me lick it off. So I've been seeing these like women groups where they're like, if you don't have like a friend group, you can join this trip. Everyone's going to Spain for 10 days and it's like no one you know no no it's that sounds like a fucking nightmare for me i think you would probably find like one or two other people on there you enjoy but the rest are like fuck you would have to find one person who also dislikes the same people you dislike right that would be the only way. To talk shit.

And that's how you probably bond, like this fucking child. But the girl that friend dumped me, that's how we became friends, is we talked shit on all the same people. And it was like, I should have known. Well, it's a commonality thing. Because it would happen,

but I knew it would happen to me. There was a revolving target. Eventually the barrel was gonna be staring me down. But now you have a big platform and you can talk shit about her. And then other people who know her that listen will be like, I agree. Does she have a platform too?

Not a very big one. Damn. So I stuck with me. You win. Damn. Fuck her up. No, I like her though. I've never ended a friendship and told somebody.

Like you just stopped talking. Oh, yeah. Well, she was like mad. This is another thing that's annoying i hate when like because every time i've been friend dumped like three times and there's always what one was in high school you got to be try being a girl um one was in high school um and she was like we grew apart and i was like okay but she announced but she was like yeah why'd you stop talking to me you know yeah well i like she was like my best friend. So I was like, I was active.

Oh, best friends. Interesting. I was, and she, and it was funny because we had all these friends in high school,

these mutual friends. And, um, so she went off to college. She was like a year ahead of me. She went off to college. She wrote me this letter. I wish I still had it.

It was just about how much she loved me, how amazing I was, like how she, she's like, I feel like I'm writing a eulogy. You're just like so incredible. I love the way you'm writing a eulogy. You're just so incredible. I love the way you're just yourself all the time. You're crazy in public.

There was a but. No, no, no. It was all like, you're incredible. Yeah. Then she went to college, and she became like a hipster. Where did she go to college? She went to University of Michigan. And she became like, she started hanging out with people that were like,

and I'm not, if you go to, I'm not for you. Like the people that are like, like expecting something from you. I'm not the one. If you just make just letter noises, not for you. You're like, well,

if you like read and think that's cool. When people go off to college and come back and change that checks out. That makes sense. Dude, I went to college for a semester. I was in a frat. Came back. Everybody stayed in my hometown.

I was like, you guys don't matter to me. You guys don't know how to beer bong Natty Ice at 4 a.m. I know how to beer bong Natty Ice. Do you? Oh, my God. Yeah, Natty Ice was my only thing. I'm part of, like, I did the Century Club. I did all of that.

In college or just for fun? Pick me. In college. Because, I mean, in in college you wanted to be picked why wouldn't you black out from natty but i didn't know how to be picked me like so i would just like like i just they just thought i was a lesbian like i would just be like come on bros like you know like i'm like one of you i'd be wearing a white hat it was like a slight line i mean i told you this like i was such a pick me i mean why do none of my friends want to fuck me i asked i mean i would watch like mma fights and boxing and be really really like

into it yeah that i accidentally like ended up loving it you know like pete put it in her ass and let's see what happens should i you have oh you're really growing on no that was cute i can't do that there's already something in there it'll kill the gerbil we don't want to drown that guy um something about just coming back we were like i am better than you guys well people that don't leave their hometown like god bless you but if you are one of the people that does leave and you come back and people haven't left you're like you're not striving you're not. There's not a lot to talk about. You go, how is everything? You go, well, just had my fourth kid.

And you're like, cool. Oh my God. So many kids. Yeah. But I feel like that is an indicator of maybe a friendship that really never was. Because my childhood friends, like when I see them, no matter how different our lives are, there's like kind of like a quiet nostalgia that of like just being around them like we don't have to catch up we don't have we don't care where we're at in our life yeah yeah yeah we're just gonna hang out in silence because like we always

did as friends like there's no expectation of anything my best friend uh was my neighbor. He has two daughters. He's a, he, he does like kitchens. I talk to him a lot. Like remodeling? Yeah, he's like a kitchen guy. Yeah, no, he just does tiles and stuff.

Oh yeah, yeah. He's got rough hands. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah. Who,

oh, he wanted me to hook him up with Stella. Oh, of course. He's like, is this my future girlfriend? I was like, no,

she has a boyfriend. That's every DM I've gotten this week. Stella Berriot. Oh, she was on our podcast. Yeah, she did. Stretchy butthole. She was like, I just my future girlfriend? I was like, no, she has a boyfriend. That's every DM I've gotten this week. Stella Berriot. Oh, she was on our podcast. Stretchy butthole. She was like, I just have a stretchy butthole. That's so funny to be her reasoning. No, I remember she said something about it.

She's like, I just have a stretchy butthole. She's like, once you get past the first ring of the anal glands, it just kind of just goes. It's just fucking iCloud. What do you mean? But yeah, she, I mean, I was fascinated. Anal August. I just had dinner with her.

Talk about concept. I just had dinner with her. That's why you guys broke up? Two days ago. You had dinner with her? Yeah, because she I mean, I was fascinated. Anal August. I just had dinner with her. Talk about concept. I just had dinner with her. That's why you guys broke up? Two days ago. You had dinner with her? Yeah, because she did our show, and then she did Tiger Belly, and we all went out to eat and stuff. But she really just is so fascinating, because she's so normal.

She's very smart. She's really smart. But then she went from growing up in Montana, and then doing high school in London. So she has so like weird life experience for being so young what did she eat was she worried about it dude she didn't give a fuck i handed her everything she didn't even ask yeah i was concerned about that too like you have to worry about what you eat and then she's like got some whole philosophical thing i'd be like i'm eating rice cakes and rice we ate korean food and she didn't know what anything was on the table but

she gobbled it up and i was like yeah that, that's my kind of girl. Was her boyfriend in town? Yeah, but he didn't come to dinner. It was just her, me and a couple other friends. Okay, because I was going to say maybe her boyfriend's out of town, her asshole's on a smoke break.

Who knows? No, but earlier that day she said that she just did an anal bead video. No, she was like, I had a question

about her lifestyle and she goes, oh, well, I can just show you and then she holds her phone and it's just a video. But in real life

I've seen it Video She showed me And the dude that she's dating Was just in it Like it literally Looked like ring footage Like the camera

Was just like from a distance And I was like Oh oh oh For sure Brown ring footage I hate to tell you guys this It's another Green Day coffee moment But she showed me her asshole

And it was like this close To my face I know I was the actual i was not in her life like not camera but real ass yeah and then she like asked to see like my pussy and i showed her like my full blast pussy yeah and she was like oh that's in this room not here like i'm hanging out outside of here oh did you guys like do anything oh my god your face is getting red this is hot we both determined that we would definitely have sex with each other when when he's pushing what's the website yeah fuck tiger belly just do that no i love tiger belly no fuck tiger belly just come no just just do it oh hold on yeah i mean what are we talking about patreon put it on patreon put it on a paywall

i hope the camera only gets the top of your hair oh yeah that's like three inches on that bitch right there um wow we had a very different podcast experience with her she came by was very wholesome did an hour and a half showed me a video and then left wow still pretty didn't show us anything which is fine right i didn't want to did she have her feet exposed for blow no she did not are you both foot fetish guys no no no i'm normal yeah yeah no it's like someone only michael is right yeah loves the feet i have so many questions for him i really really do come on the podcast like right annie has coined the term feet and greet and um you know she's preserved her feet she always pixelates her feet and yeah there really

is like yeah one million i think that's a price and what do they get with that one picture of my feet standard checks out i would pay that but is there tears to it like two million you get to you know use nike sock no but that's a good idea just throw it out there's someone good at business you know that's what it's all about you gotta just level up because someone you like i know it's like jokingly like a million but there's some guy right now in kuwait being like of course fuck no like should i should i block chain's booming you know i i mean i don't know well you know what's also funny is that girls get taxed on the only fans money that's the government be like let me get some of that pussy money yes let me get some of that pussy payment still eating the noodles i mean we're on minute 47 here. Those aren't warm at all.

I'm trying to bet. Really? They do look so good. Great insulation in there. You got to try chapagetti. Chapagetti is the best. What is that? It sounds warm.

Chapagetti rhymes spaghetti? Chopped up spaghetti. Yeah, so it's basically... It sounds delicious delicious have you ever had spaghetti and accidentally chokes you never again enjoy some chapasgetti why did you say that like it was an ad deal right there enjoy chapasgetti it's like a bean paste with like noodles it's like asian obviously but you know they just call it chapagetti it's like jajangmyeon but oh that's really good if you look at the picture of it it's it's it comes with a

you see like that like oh capo delivers it to you yeah jajang by gun oh that's really good i want some ramen that sounds great right now ah yeah but also ramen like 100 degree weather's insane is it 100 degrees out? It's warm. But if you're sitting outside, you're eating, you're sweating. I'm like weather blind. Unless something horrific happens to me. Like, I don't know. Like if I go to the car and I come back in and Todd's like, is it like cold or hot out?

I'm like, I have no clue. I like don't. I'm weather blind. Also, it's California. You'll be fine with whatever you wear. Well, that's also because you and I sweat not according to the weather. Yeah, I'm always. We'll be fine with whatever you wear.

Well, that's also because you and I sweat not according to the weather, but how we feel. We're our own gauge because her and I are pit sweaters, like excessive pit sweaters. Need the pillow? No, I think you need the pillow. And so it doesn't matter if it's in the dead cold in the Arctic. If I'm feeling some type of way or nervous, forget it. It's like a whole pit stain. Really?

I'm in constant fight or flight. If I'm relaxed in like equatorial weather i wouldn't sweat a drip so it's like yeah you're your own weather guys you'll never hear me saying equatorial the only time i sweat is when someone's like how do you spell equatorial yeah q i got nothing do you think you'd be good at a spelling bee no okay let's. Let's try. Math bee? Maybe. You ever play Nerdle? What's Nerdle? Nerdle. It's instead of Wordle, it's math problem.

Oh, shit. But like SAT ones or just like 28 divided by three? I just do it daily. Oh, it's like mental math. It's fun. Oh, yeah. This is too much. Go, Pete.

Go. They're running succession ads on this? Jesus Christ. You have to just guess what the equation is. Oh, you just... And then you have to solve it? But it has to be the right... What the hell is happening? What is this, a calculator?

This is bullshit. Oh, okay, yeah, this makes sense. It's just with numbers. It's not math. It's just numbers. It has to be an equation that works. is the fucking qr code plus wait wait that guess does not compute pete you have to do like 12 you have to do like 12 plus this is dumb you play this six equals my dad i see i see my 81 year dad any 81 year old dad crushes this is your dad retired right i thought you were gonna say something else well

i don't know my dad's newly retired and he just sends me just memes photos articles everything really yeah wow now he sold his feet pics huh yeah well he retired he had he was offered early retirement and he got like a good deal he used to work at penn they got like a new president and they wanted all new staff so they were giving people like good deal. He used to work at Penn. They got like a new president and they wanted all new staff. So they were giving people like good early. Do you guys think you'll work forever? Or you're always going to work forever? Oh, that is a good question.

Someone asked me that. They said, how much money would you have to make to just walk away from standup? Oh, wow. 20 mil. That's it? Yeah.

I thought you were richer than that. I don't know. Cause I think you just get bored if i think you always want to do stand-up right i think you probably will give up stand-up but find some other creative way to still express comedy like how george bush paints pictures now yeah the victims of the war oh no or of dogs i can't remember either dogs or the victims of war. His friends. Michelle Obama. George, he does, George Bush does paintings now? Yeah. They're not bad.

What in the fuck? What? This is the last memory I have of him is painting, not doing 9-11? I would rather the painting. Look at him. Interesting. Yeah, I don't know. You just get bored.

That's, you know, that's why everybody who like wins the lottery goes bankrupt in like a year.'re like i did it all i'm bored give me back at fucking h&r block are there any um big time lottery winners with um happy endings it's not happy uh there's maybe like one or like that know how to do it i was i saw some article asian inside that that was a real fuck up most of them blow it all quickly i don't think anybody wins a lottery and they're like we should invest except brenton biddlecomb do we know who he is he's i do yeah yeah he won the lottery he didn't he won uh fantasy football he won a million dollars and then he won a hundred thousand dollars the next time and he immediately invested all of it but he's not like he's not someone that's like this scratch off tickets gonna change my life you know i am such an anxious person that if something like that back to back like two good things happen to me like i'm about to die yeah i'm about to die

looking around the corner for something because i'm too anxious to enjoy it when i but i also think maybe like maybe he'll run out of luck afterwards maybe he gets one more lucky moment or maybe life is good for him for the rest of the time he's on here well i believe he's married he's got a cute dog he's also one of the nicest people yeah he's really nice so i feel like maybe you know but he okay so um what was i gonna say how much would it take for you to just stop doing it i don't think i would ever stop doing it that's kind of where i'm i just i enjoy it i've always liked doing it i did it when i was like broke as shit it's like sweet i'm making money from it now but i never was no i still i enjoy it it's yeah it's yeah i don't think you have to make sure it's still relatable right all right that must have been weird the first time

rogan did a show after that spotify deal he's like you ever just get a can of beans like no talk about the 100 million dollars you have sitting in your bank account right now talk about it What is the dumbest thing You've spent money on? I remember when I I really thought I was on I made these shirts

That ended up getting Cease and desist from White Claw I made this video about White Claw And I sold these t-shirts That had a quote on it And They In two days

They sold 7,000 t-shirts So we're talking Your boy was up But it was a pre-order i didn't end up getting a dollar from it right no because the company sent their legal team was like you have to return all these t-shirts or else we're gonna hit you with here here here and here right so ended up having to return it right didn't make a dollar um how much would that have translated into like 100k yeah like but but i was like 25 at the time i would have been like so but when i saw these orders coming in i think i ordered like a 125 meal from like lemonade on postmates yeah you know how hard it is to get a bill for one person to 125 i mean it was getting

like matcha and shit i didn't even like like wheatgrass shots i mean i was like send it all yeah well i okay so i i look at money as energy now so I don't look at money like when I'm ordering things and who knows maybe this ends up with me in bankruptcy I don't think it will though but um because there's a million ways to make money and I think once you can like unleash that you realize there's literally like a million things you could do yeah but um I feel like when I order food I just like don't like i used to worry about how much it costs now just order whatever i want i know you order that way right like you guys order like everything you would want to eat right that uh that's bobby's way but bobby's way is a little funny so he orders a

lot more than um more than he can actually consume but he doesn't he used to not allow me to take leftovers which was then gonna that annoyed yeah that's like i don't care if we order a lot but this is gonna sustain me right or the whole week but he's like no i spent the money you don't get to take shit home that's so funny because his thing is like wild yeah it's somehow in his head it's more of like a power trip it's like if i pay for it it's my food i'm just letting you eat it what if he was like you can have it but i have to feed it to you i mean yeah you actually would like that yeah i would are you kidding me him showing love i'll take it i also bought a rolex that was pretty irresponsible i never wear it

just like the cheapest one oyster perpetual remember uh louis joker when he was like when he lost like i don't 50 what did he lose in one day i don't remember what the joke was but he lost an exorbitant amount of money in one day when all the canceling started happening it was i have three gold watches like what was i thinking yeah i mean it's it's i don't i hardly ever wear it because i don't want to wear it on stage because i don't want people like oh this fucking asshole then i don't want to wear around town because yeah you don't get shot i'm frail and some guy goes oh nice watch mine now right so now i just i don't but i just put it in a safety deposit i don't know what to do with it i'll probably end up just selling it back but watches do hold their they really do i

was gonna say they really really do i watch enough it's really like you'll go to like an event and wear it yeah exactly because even on like a date you feel like you're like oh let me just get the bill and then you slam it on the table that's actually an ick for me real big fancy watch oh wow well what if it's a really hot arm and hand it doesn't matter um real big fancy watches if it's more of like it's like a slimmer one it's slim it's not too much a watch i wore in college that i don't know what it is about being like 22 but you'll wear a fucking a flavor flavor watch on your wrist we all did that with the michael course ones yeah oh yeah the rose gold like the bigger the better the heavier wrist not like i have bitch wrist it would like oversee overshadow my like wrist like it was in a

like it was so massive right right and for some reason i was like women will like this i could go back to a watch i love watches but i wear a lot of swatch watches which also hold their value i like it i just i don't know i never wear it yeah these are a little bit too um big for me the michael kors watches i did like the big like boyfriend one yeah yeah which one was that it was just like a big like gold hangy watch yeah i think i still like it i don't know i don't even feel bust it out it wasn't that expensive it's not you can't rob me for it i know because todd's gonna propose to me and i'm like i want to i want an expensive ring but then

i'm like do i want an expensive ring no i have no clue okay at first i thought we established he might do it in mexico but mexico's canceled mexico's canceled whatever and also he told me he was gonna do in mexico i was like you now can't do it if you propose but Mexico is canceled. Mexico is canceled. And also he told me he was going to do it in Mexico. I was like, you now can't do it in Mexico. If you propose to a girl, Trevor, are you going to kind of like drop some hints or is it a full-blown surprise? I go surprise. He told you? Maybe he's doing that to buy time.

Well, he thought he was like, you know, maybe something fun is going to happen in Mexico or whatever. I don't know what. Maybe you want me to get my nails done. Anal beads? What are we talking here? Because there are some girls who really do care about but my nails are always done you're right and especially if i'm going to like a like hey if my nails aren't like i don't think it needs to be like it honestly could be at ralph's like i don't care but i would

like there to be a so how do you feel it would be so refreshing if a girl just posted a picture of nails like mine with i thought i was gonna say if a girl proposes i can't deal with it no no not with a girl because i'm happy for you the ladies that propose to the men and you guys are happy i want you to live your best life i am i can't i can't how do you feel about disneyland proposals no well i kind of don't like disneyland so it would be funny to do it to me oh yeah i think that's always funny if they're if because every you know you have this picture of what the beautiful wedding day looks like but it is funny to be like hey there's a turkey leg yeah now i'm on one leg oh yes if anyone were to do a public proposal i would never marry him because he just doesn't know me at all how do you feel about ones on stage have

you ever had that somebody the first show i did on the last tour in new orleans somebody proposed to their their their lady and did she like it or yeah i mean i don't know i didn't talk to him was that what part of the show at the end yeah yeah it's hard to like do that up top and then be like okay they're like traveling a lot yeah but uh yeah i i think public ones are interesting yeah i do too it's like in it i mean outdoors and families around that's one thing but like public ones are interesting. Yeah, I do too. It's like, I mean, outdoors and families around, that's one thing. But like public ones, it's like you're... So not that Todd is listening right now, but what is your perfect? Yeah, what's a perfect?

What's a perfect? How does it look like? What I thought I wanted was I want him to propose me on my family vacation because I thought my nieces would like freak out. Wait, did you expect it on your last family vacation? No, because I was on the phone with his mom and she was like, Todd, you did not get the ring. Oh, oh.

And I was like, yes, I'm sure he got it. And she's like, no. Like, and I'm like, what, Todd? How long you guys been dating? Like a little bit before the pandemic. So like three years? Yeah. Nice.

But I mean, it's gonna happen. It doesn't matter, but it's like it really is up to me i want a huge do i want a very expensive ring or not is really what's keeping us i'm kind of over diamond i think i might be over it wow this is great this is great every woman listen isn't it like nicer to do lab cut isn't it better for the environment and like yeah you're getting a fucking purity ring it's like a little bit fucking basic. I'm not talking about cheaper diamonds. I'm still thinking Emerald and Sapphire. But I do like a pear-shaped solitaire diamond. Like a little fucking, a big ass, like little.

That's not, I'm thinking. But it's basic. Can you look up pear-shaped solitaire? Yeah, I'm curious. Don't get too excited though, Trevor, because what I want might be more expensive than a regular diamond. Are you guys going to be together?

Really? Yeah, I'm taking. I'm more like rubies. Sapphire. Wait, sapphire. I heard sapphire is be more expensive. Are you guys going to be together? Really? Yeah. I'm taking like rubies. Wait, Sapphire. I heard Sapphire is a very expensive. Wait, can I pitch something?

Somebody told me Sapphire is. Well, Esther's gone. Can we just have like a rotating guest and see if you vibe with them? If we vibe. Is this a dating show? It might be. Well,

I wouldn't, I wouldn't have even gone there, but cause I'm, I like to respect people's relationships, but I'm like kind of excited about. But not that you guys are or aren't. I'm just like excited about the prospects. How do you know we aren't already?

I feel like maybe there's a vibe. Yeah, she's not into rings. She's not wearing one today. Hey, kick it off. Here we are. We could also probably share a ring. I have such frail fingers. You could easily.

You're doing the sissu flirting because you're being self-deprecating. Oh, yeah. You're telling me ahead of time. I don't't have five of these in you just a finger you're regular help like but with just a regular band with just a regular oh that's an almond i know like just like that you like how what is that wrong but i like it i don't know classic classic it looks like it would stab your finger no i think also my friend's like you don't really want a big ring because it gets caught on your pants and stuff no i met a girl last weekend

and she had a ring that had a knife that popped out of it she's like it's la and i was like it's kind of hot i really want that company that makes that set me now at the company it's uh like it was like a i'm gonna get one ring with a knife in it but it was like it had a flat top then you click a little side and if i can ping yep top left could it really stab okay it's only yeah well it's only eight dollars so oh you probably won't i want a better one yeah i don't know but but it i mean it'd be great for like shotgunning a beer i think but but yeah poisoning somebody look at that i like the 400 one look at that one the gold one that pops out oh yeah that's a good one but i had no idea i love that you want to see some cool thing i was like oh fuck and you're

like ow it's like you're bleeding out the tiniest bit imagine she's jerking you off and then the oh my god goes on the inside of the oh my god as i said you can come uncircumcised i would come hard yeah i didn't know there's a thing though oh it's that one right there sometimes it's a joke instead of a sense what the fuck is going on if you're defending yourself with 66 cents just throw a quarter at him instead sometimes instead of a cock ring i use um those things for um cigars the chop the type is that bad is that bad kind of arousing actually yeah i don't know wait i love wait is this no i'm not going to say that to two recently single Is that bad? Is that bad? It's kind of arousing, actually. Yeah, I didn't know that was a thing. Wait, I love...

Wait, is this... No, I'm not going to say that to two recently single people, but you're probably happy to be single. Boy. I was just going to say, I love having my person and not having to date. No, I definitely get lonely at times. I definitely miss it. But that's not what I mean.

I wasn't meaning to say that to you guys, but I was like... You're just flexing. Yes. I'm never the one. It's so great having somebody to hold me. i'm usually in an abusive relationship like i'm usually like watching like when i saw stars born i was like weird i was like i'm uncomfortable this feels real like oh um no you found your person i found my god always together and you are always like like i pictured you guys together yes fucking there's a big pause and i was like did

this just get weird no it didn't get weird but but you know you're right there are people or couples that i look at i'm like i just cannot picture them fucking and you can picture us totally we yeah we have we have our signature move which is everyone's heard it so much but why not does it also involve each guest gets to hear it um the hospital bed where we we bring the hospital i sit on the edge of the hospital bed and then he like me up i have a hospital bed yeah oh you know what i have in my house so isn't cramp he can just tell me like you have no oh shit hold on i have the i'm leasing my place right now and his parents used to visit a lot so he has an electric chair that goes up the stairs oh my god

that's never done sexual activities on it yet i need a life alert or something but yeah he's so slow like the girls like up there like with their mouth open it's like yeah it's too slow to make it sexual it's it's yeah it's not good for that but it's just funny just goes up the stairs i love yep yep yep one of those that's awesome so i still have one of those and uh yeah that's most people have like a cool like painting people have like esther would be so jealous no it's like that's the centerpiece people walk in and they go like fuck that couch you spent two thousand dollars on what is that over there one year for my birthday there it is i think i was turning 30 or something it was one of those birthdays where people are like you're afraid you're getting old

my friend got me like uh one of those portable like toilets that oh no and it was really and then i opened it and she had drawn a doo-doo and it said like you're the shit or something it was really good it was a really good camping one that's cute no no it's like an old you get it it's like it's like it's like a walkerer with a toilet in it. And I peed. I did. No flush. Just bowl. Yeah.

You gotta have a cleaner. Todd would clean it for me. He's a good boy. That's real. He's a good boy. Wow. Would you say you're the dominant one in the relationship? Yes.

Yes. Does he know this? Yes. Okay. But he's still a man. He's my man. There we go. I like that.

Yeah. It works. I love him. So it was one of these? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's interesting. I was cute. Like, why does it these? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's interesting. That was cute.

Like, why does it look like the two legs are to the side? Like, is it nervous? He's like, look at my butthole. It's like what Stella did to her. It's how Stella was like, look, look at my butthole. I think they're called bedside commodes. But you have to clean it out, which defeats the purpose. Because you're still sitting in it, and then you're still wheeling around the house.

It's just grandma's shitstorm is just going through the hallways somebody clean my ass at what point did you just stop wiping your own ass as soon as you don't have to as soon as you don't have that's also true no if i was joe rogan and i had that much money you bet your ass oh what am i gonna reach back there i'm always like to joe i'm like when i'm rich, I'm going to have like this person do this. And he's like, no, he's always like, you want to keep your circle small. I'm like, you want to keep your circle small.

What is one thing that if you had all, just fuck you money that you would splurge on? Oh, wow. Like for instance, like an ass wiper, someone who just follows you around. Like a real splurge. I want a living bidet i wanted to be a small french man that used to be a jockey yeah i want to give up i want to give a jockey who's

out of work a job you come be my bidet you stay in that toilet you look my asshole clean good i just want somebody to be a second pair of hands for me i think the human body needs to evolve we still have two hands this is fucking boring give me a fourth right so i would have somebody probably yeah i'm horned up but i would have somebody like crack their rib maybe no just like i want like like there's times when i'm like carrying too much shit in from the house and then i also have like a coffee and i'm like i don't know i'm like bouncing on my neck yeah uh it's a living shadow but you don't want another person there you just want right i just want their hands yeah but. But like hot hands. So when I look down, I see like Manny Petty.

Oh, fuck. And then when you're drinking off, it's like. Yeah. When I'm drinking off, I can still be on a Zoom call. Hey, how you guys doing? Yeah. You know, I think another pair of like hot, like white French tip nails like on my side. Yeah.

Yeah. Because then when I don't want it to be seen, I can just tuck them in or like a large tea cup. I love a French tip. I love a French tip. Yes. I need those lately. I could just hug you when you don't want it to be seen, I can just tuck them in like a large tea cup. I love a French tip. I love a French tip. Hug me. Yes, I need those lately. I could just hug you when you don't want it.

I'm alone. Yeah. Does Blau ever hug you? Yeah, but he's pretty frail too. So it's like bone on bone hug. That is cute. You guys are- He's great.

I love him. He helps me a lot. You know, I really, really didn't want to say this out loud. I've been trying to not say this out loud since the first day I met you, but you really look like my dead stepbrother that I had sex with. You're in, dude. You're in. What in the Pornhub title did you just say to me?

You just won an award. There you go. Wait, you fucked your stepbro? There's certain things we have to tell people when they come on the show. Before my mom and him actually, my mom and step dad dated i was uh i was wait so how did this happen because i had a friend do this i had a friend date this girl back in high school they were both dating and then their parents started hooking up then their parents got married and then because of that they're like well i don't think we should fuck anymore that's exactly what

happened so it got weird but i hate to say it, but like, ah, because he was my stepbrother after, but he had a really perfect penis. That's a lot to live up to. Why you look how nervous you are? Because it's just funny because you're like,

oh, you're literally living the porn where you're like, oh no, stepbro, your perfect penis. Yeah. These comments are going to be interesting.

Hello, YouTube. One time she was telling me about a guy who would reach into her room and punch her in the face. I've never laughed harder in my life. Like you would have thought it was like full set up punchline. Like that's how we handle our traumies.

And you were just that close to the door? Or there was like a glory hole? My head was facing in my bedroom. My head would face the window and he climbed through my window. And he, one morning, I guess I didn't text him back in time. And he just came and cracked the window and just like punched me down. I was like, I was literally like-

Fucking sock and bopping robot. What is he? He just, ah! You're like, I'm not gonna text you back now. Or you're like, ah! It's so hot. He punched me away. You should have been with another dude

then the dude catches the fist and is like, what's up? That's right. She needed you. Damn. She needed you. Damn. She needed you. When was the whole stepbrother fiasco? When was this? High school.

Oh, so this wasn't even like a porn category yet. Mm-mm. Damn. It's very and super confusing. Because imagine when your stepdad or your mom actually starts dating. But can't you be like, I got dibs first on this family? No. Is there a stepdad now?

He's still my stepdad now. And he was my high school history teacher. So they met during like back to school night. My mom and him did. You guys pretty much brought them together. Yeah. Yeah. And, but then his son and I were friends.

So we were like, oh yeah, you should meet. So, and then it's just. This is like the movie, Mr. Nobody with Jared Leto. I've never seen it. One of Jared Leto's best movies. I haven't seen it. Mr. Nobody. Everybody check it out. I've never seen it. One of Jared Leto's best movies. I haven't seen it. Mr. Nobody. Everybody check it out.

I've seen the cover of it. It's like parallel lives that he lived. And one of the lives he- Was a stepbrother. Is in love with his stepsister. Yeah. I mean, it really is sort of like- They were like into each other and then their parents started dating and then they like

were like, then they had to like break up. But basically it's like, I got the ick, right? As soon as my mom and my stepdad got together like I got the ick right as soon as my mom and my stepdad got together I got the ick but then he didn't so like there was

a period there where it was like weird and he was like real sad about it but I'm like no like yeah

and then you'd still see each other at like family events or no I went to college and I didn't see him again for like two years

and then he ended up well I mean I get friend broken up with so i understand yeah yeah same boat but you know what the friend breakup things that i was gonna say is this is what i don't like i don't like when no one will just tell you what's happening like they they'll break up with you i guess this happens in relationships too but i had one friend who was like this was a guy and he was like i heard you talking shit on me. And I went, what?

And he was, I can't tell you. And I go, well, what is it? And then he goes, we're done. And I'm like, no, no, no. But what was I talking shit on you about? I think they say that because they want you to say. Right. So I'll be like, well, did I say you were fat?

Yeah. Yeah. Or like. The debate. But I was like, I don't know what because i don't if i'm if i was talking shit on him it wasn't anything i made up you know what i mean i'm like what honest thing i heard you're talking shit yeah like what happened to people just ghost if you can go somebody in a relationship just ghost a friend yes like oh she said something fucked up but it

was fine it was all good i didn't care that much but it was just i just was like annoyed by that because it was that thing i was thinking about like what if i was like oh i called you you know like i just like something that i that he never knew i said and just was like annoyed by that. Cause it was that thing. I was thinking about like, what if I was like, oh, I called you, you know, like I just like something that I, that he never knew I said. And then he was like, if I tell you what you said, then you're going to go to the person that told me mad at them. And I was like, what? When was this? It was recently.

And he was 50 years old. He was a 50 year old man. That's hilarious. Isn't that so weird? That's hilarious. But it's okay. Like worry about your arthritis what are you talking about my mom would say pathetic pathetic but that but i have recently

realized i don't care anymore like if people are mad at me about something and they don't want to tell me what it is yeah that's a you thing not at me you just go on with your life you keep living how you live i don't care yeah you can't care guys guys friend breakups are not you don't have to announce yourself let's put an end to that yeah just ghost if you want somebody in your life you'd let them know but also you can announce but just say what the actual thing is you don't have to be like cryptic about it yeah i mean i've taken like breaks from people where they're like hey like why aren't we you know like i feel like i'm it's more one-sided and i'm like you know what it's just um a lot of essays from you i'm just

not maybe emotionally available i don't have the bandwidth to kind of like be with the moment i hope you can understand like stuff like that but never like a lot of buzzwords right there so it's two of my two of my friend breakups were like i heard what you said i'm like what what did i say but are these like you don't tell i'm like are these like people you know from like philly or like people these are like newer la friends oh where i'm just like okay i don't know it's just funny to be 50 and like you hurt my feelings if i talk to you it's probably publicly so send me the clip yeah let me post it must probably fuck you up that bad think how good are you on tiktok you know get the numbers up well thank you so much thank you guys for having me fun did you get through all your notes

oh this is a set list from the other night uh but no i didn't i'll go through them right now Edit it out Edit it out He's off the cuff He doesn't have a set list No set list Yeah I talked about everything I wanted to on here Thanks for having me

It's been awesome Is there anything you want to Plug promote I'm on tour right now I'm going to be in Bunch cities From California to Florida All of them

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yeah every Wednesday awesome stiff socks we'll see you guys next week thank you bye guys I've been Esther