Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Trick or Feet w/ Michael Blaustein - Ep 141

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Special Guest Michael Blaustein joins Khalyla and Annie for a very spooky Halloween episode where they talk about his foot fetish, Checking Dudes Out at Korean Spas, Feet, Monogamy, Sex and Hygiene and then also more feet. Michael Rates Khalyla's Feet and its not a perfect 10/10! Enjoy & Trick or Feet to All! Thank you to our Sponsor:  Quip - If you go to getquip.com/trashtuesday right now, you’ll get 20% any Electric Toothbrush, Mint & Gum Dispenser, Water Flosser. Quip - the good habits company. FINALLY! Trash Tuesday Merch!! Get it at https://itstrashtuesday.com/   See Esther on tour. Check out dates at estheronice.com See Annie on tour. Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows   More Michael Blaustein: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/blaucomedy/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/blaucomedy/ https://www.blaucomedy.com/ Stiff Socks Podcast - https://trevorwallacecomedy.com/stiff-socks 00:00 - Blaustein's upset there's not a pedicure 02:01 - Bluastein is here and dressed like a cow 08:03 - Rumors about Blaustein's member 10:30 - Blaustein taught many people how to kiss 13:00 - Korean Spa spy revealed 17:00 - Blaustein's foot criteria 23:45 - How old were you when you realized that you look at feet and get a boner 27:58 - Rating Khalyla's feet 32:10 - Thigh gaps 34:30 - Revisiting the boxer brief debate 40:20 - Stinky feet vs. clean feet 45:40 - Have you ever had really in-love sex 49:40 - Mesothelioma and hyper mobility 53:50 - Four hall passes a year 57:53 - Cuck fantasies 01:02:40 - Thrinder 01:04:30 - A couple's third   Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392   Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  🍬  https://www.candyedits.com Visuals and Graphics by: Andre Strauss https://andre-strauss.info   Produced by: Real Good Touring & Ten42 Podcast Producer(s): Stella Young & Julien Bensimhon   This Video Contains Paid Advertising.  

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offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint mobile for details i'm not looking i'm not also i haven't had a pedicure so don't judge the color i like when

you lose your american words all of a sudden she looked at me so hold on you where so before i see yeah you generally keep a pedicure going um not always it depends if i know i'm gonna see a boy then oh boy yeah but you you know where I fucked up? Look at his mouth. He's pursing his mouth. He's pissed. Last week, I had the white nail polish. He's livid.

You had the white nail polish last week? Last week, and then... You getting a boner in the cow outfit would be funny. Yeah, the fifth udder. Woohoo! Happy Halloween, everybody. I promise I'll have a cooler outfit later on Instagram, so check that out. I am also on the road, but next you can see me at the Comedy Store

November 9th in the main room. The show might already be sold out. I might have to add another one. We got a bunch of amazing comics. Bert Kreischer, Andrew Santino, Lizzie Cooperman, a bunch of amazing people. Go check it out. I also have a show in San Jose at the Improv, November 17th and 18th. Houston, Texas at the Improv, December 15th and 17th. I'm going to Canada to Edmonton at the Comic Strip, January 12th and 13th. And Jacksonville, Florida, baby, January 19th and 20th. I'll see you guys there. Hi, slugs.

I'm back on the road and I'm so excited to see you at my stand-up shows we've got san jose in on november 2nd and then november 4th i'll be in boston at the wilbur and november 5th at the dc improv and november 16th at the irvine improv can't wait to see you guys get tickets at esther on ice.com thank you to our sponsor quip If you go to getquip.com slash Trash Tuesday right now, you'll get 20% off any electric toothbrush, mint and gum dispenser, or water flosser. That's your 20% off any electric toothbrush, mint and gum dispenser, water flosser at getquip.com slash Trash Tuesday, spelled G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com slash Trash Tuesday. G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash Trash Tuesday.

Quip, the good habits company. Hi, guys. Welcome to Trash Tuesday. We have our friend who dressed more than us, which is hilarious. Moo bitch. Did you bring this? I did. Michael Blaustein, everybody. You may know him from the Stiff Socks podcast, from clips of going, where are you from?

What's your job? Yeah. Isn't it crazy how many people we can ask where they're from and nobody is over it? Because you're talking to them. They love it. It's just so funny. I always think people are going to go like, are you about to ask me where I work? And I'm like, yeah.

But here's what it is. You get a fan base and the people know you from the clips and so they want it. If you watch it, they go oh, I want us in the front. Do you charge extra for the front so people can be a part of the show? Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But you're killing it. You're doing so good. Thank you so much. I've known you so long. They were like, can you get bloused in? I was like, I can get bloused in. Oh, thank you.

They were worried about getting it. How does that feel? Good. Yeah. All of this is new. I don't know what's happening. I'm dressed like a cow. I'm here.

I want to know why. Why the cow? Was it just something you had? From last Halloween, I think I told you off mic but i wore this and reversed and then i wore a wig reversed cowgirl oh that's hilarious i have to give a shout out to my ex-girlfriend she came up with that i just want to say that real quick we got a massive fight because on the podcast i didn't say that it was from her and uh because that is a really good idea yeah it's such a good idea give her credit. Yeah, yeah.

So big shout out to her. But yeah, reverse cowgirl. Now I'm just a cow person. What was your other, have you had another like clever Halloween costume? No, I was a vampire for like 40 years in a row.

Yeah. Yeah. And then you, now you. And now I'm this. What about you, Kalilah? I already told you guys, I got in trouble the year after 9-11

or the Halloween immediately after 9-11. Or the Halloween immediately after 9-11. I went trick-or-treating as Osama Bin Laden. And it was not received well. That was happening in every town. It wasn't received well. It was not received well. Because I grew up in the Philippines. And over there, there was no such thing.

Well, now there is. Because everyone's copying everyone else. But back then, it was be the scariest thing possible and I was I had only been in America what three years at that point and this was my first time dressing up and I was like yeah be the scariest thing possible when you were takashi 69 that was because Kalilah like she's so ethnically ambiguous and you're such a hot girl that when you play a guy and it pulls it, it's like so weird that you pull it off. You know what's really, really sad is that I— 9-11.

9-11. Very sad. It was pretty sad. No, but I genuinely shocked myself at how much I look like Tekashi. It was unbelievable. Can you pull it up off my— It's absolutely amazing. It was unbelievable. Do we... Can I see it? Can you pull it up off my... It's absolutely amazing. It's incredible.

Oh, shit. Isn't that so funny? That's... You look like Chief Chikashi's incredible. Does that make sense? You look very Native American. Because it's a big cheeks.

It's... Yeah, you're right. It's like the ethnically ambiguous. I decided to get... That's so good. Thank you. Yeah, and what is... Did you just color straight under your teeth no i had i bought those little um rainbow grills i want i think i want to get a grill but i don't i could only wear it on here i want to get a grill too but it's like where is it for here i want to but i want to do the

bottom one so it's like does he have he can't have one but your mouth opens wide yeah but you can barely see the bottoms I see your bottoms More than your tops Really Oh shit balls Okay That's fine Wait you can barely

See the bottoms I feel like when you talk I can see your bottoms I think I had it Inverse in my brain Sorry I'm dyslexic Literally So maybe I had it

Inverse Are you dyslexic Yeah it's a problem I can't spell Can't read It's a problem Is it a problem No

Who cares It's about good skills Yeah hey I got good skills Where you from Where from are you There you go Beach to it Wait so I can see both rows Pretty clearly when from? Where from are you? There we go. Beach to it.

Wait, so I can see both rows pretty clearly when you speak. So I think you should get the bottoms. He didn't hear my joke where I reversed the words. I did. I did, but I am sensitive, so I just moved over it, you know? Well, I think I might be. Get it, guys. I'm a cow. I might be dyslexic.

Whoa. Now for sure you are. Can you spell? I can spell. I don't have any faith exposition i can spell oh e-x-p-o-i wait i mean p-o-s-i-t-i-o-n yes anyone okay yeah no idea how are you with directions i'm? I left and right I'm bad with. Very bad. Don't know. I have to do this.

Because my last name's Letterman, I can do the L with my finger. And I go, okay. Wait, that's smart. I should tell my sister that because she's pretty bad with left and right. But I wouldn't know if this was an L or this was an L unless my last name, I had to write it all the time. Do you know what I mean? Honestly, I want to make fun of you, but yes. i understand exactly what you're talking about my dad has the same thing and i have a tracking problem reading i would always fall asleep my eyes i would just get so

tired i would literally pass out do what i'm telling you you probably have slight the you probably yeah like a little bit and i call my dad i asked my dad my dad's 82 i was like dad i think i have dyslexia he's 82 yeah we'll get into it he's 80 moo um that's good he goes uh annie at this point who gives a shit and i was like yeah why would i bring this to my dad he's got other things to worry about but then my like grade like for learning disabilities so did the teacher was like hey man she can't read the teacher it took me i didn't learn to read till second grade which is i guess that's late that's pretty late she had to get brushed they brush her whole body yeah like a horse yeah it's autistic i think hold on no no i know this is probably already talking about it's this is new to me what no it's new to me guys i'm

killing it so um what i was a little they with a, yeah, I went to the occupational therapy and they brushed me with a surgical brush. They would have to brush me. My mom would brush me. She'd be like, get in here. We have to brush you. No. Are you like a little Downsy? No, it's not Downs.

It's Spectrum-y. Spectrum-y. Spectrum-y. Okay. How do you feel now? Did you get over it? Yeah, I did feel over it. I think it actually really helped me because I didn't like to be touched.

I think I might have just also been emmed. Emmed, deed. Say it. Deed. Deed-y-deed. Deed. How, can you come easy now? From being brushed? No, I'm just, no, no, no. I'll track you.

Only when my mother brushes me can I come to completion. Oddly erotic to me. Yeah, I'm fine now, but I'm like, you learn your tricks and your angles. I'll track you with my brain.

It sounds crazy to ask that, but like you said, I don't like to get touched. But I know what you're talking about. Right, right, right. I know what you mean. But you sort of got there? You age out of the

not knowing how to cum. Yeah. Do you really? Are there women who just kind of never figure that out? Well, if it's a new relationship, I don't know.

With me, no one cums. I'm joking. um uh i think so i think so they squirt out milk from their udders i would drink it i think that they some some don't age out of it i hear what you're saying i think a lot of people do age out of it because they're like do it i'm fucking 30 let me just figure this out because i think it's a communication confession that's really important and i this i have to never say who told me this because I was sworn to secrecy. Oh, Jesus. But this is a really serious thing. So you go to a Korean spa, right?

Or you've been to a Korean spa. I've been to one recently, actually. It's very odd. Yeah. So it just so happens. I know there's a circle of trust amongst naked men. And no one's supposed to tell what who's got what but someone i know recognized you and said you had a hog on you listen um let me tell you something dude i mean sometimes he can't tell because he doesn't know

which way to read the ruler zoom in in. Zoom in. Zoom in. Okay, I'll say this. How do you feel about that? Someone telling me that. Is that like a violation? Does it feel like that? No, it doesn't feel like a violation at all. Well, you went to a Korean spa recently. Like literally two weeks ago.

Yeah, I can't. So does he know? Do you know who she's talking about? No, no, no. You don't know. This person, you don't know. Oh, just a fan. It's just a fan.

Ooh, that's fun. Who recognized you. You have guy fans too. This is exciting. I like you as a heart have guy fans too it's exciting i like you as a heart a heartthrob though say again i like you as a heartthrob do you know what someone said wait who was it someone was like can we get back to my big dick why are we changing subjects yeah because i'm gonna bring something up that you might be embarrassed i'm joking uh no let's go back to it can let me let me say this yeah i actually i actually am very uh uh comfortable

i guess like girth-wise. I'm pretty girthy, but I will say length-wise, I think it helps. I have tiny legs, so I think perspective helps me. Well, you have soccer player body. I think I do. Yeah, and soccer player is not necessarily big chest, but you have that whole thing going. I have tiny legs though what what i think helps skinny yeah yeah they're like they're pretty skinny okay uh short sure yeah i mean five

eight five eight and i have a tiny head and i have big shoulders so i look like an action figurey person everyone at meet and greets everyone's like you are so much shorter than what you look like oh people say that to me too I think they just think that we're big on TV yeah okay

but I'm also next to Esther all the time you look giant because there's usually the smallest human sitting in your seat the tiniest little thing you've ever seen

people are I thought you'd be huge I'm like no Esther's that short Esther's that short that I look huge um I this that's awesome somebody was like somebody was trying to remember where they knew you from and I can't No, Esther's that short. Esther's that short that I look huge.

That's awesome. Somebody was trying to remember where they knew you from, and I can't remember who it was. They were like, I keep seeing him everywhere, and they're like, yes, it's the How to Kiss. I was like, I can't tell if this is embarrassing for you. No, not at all. But I remember when you do. I've known you so long.

I remember when you were deciding whether or not to do that. I remember when you texted me to see if you wanted to do it. Yeah. To fill everyone in, there was this company. I don't even know if it exists anymore. It was like Howcast, How to Kiss Videos. And they did like, I mean, I don't know, there was like 20 of them or something.

And they're all like, had a French kiss on a locker. Who did you make out with? Different people every time? No, same lady. Who was it? Shallon Lester. I could not conjure the name. Was she like a UCB actress? No, same lady. Who was it? Shallon Lester. I could not conjure the name. Was she like a UCB actress?

No, no. She was like a pretty big YouTuber at the time. Yeah. Anyway, so we did like, we fucking filmed all day, kissed in like 20 different videos. And I literally left the set being like, no one's going to see this. This is going to be whatever. They all do. They all did.

I'm not shitting you. They all did like 20 million views. Wow. When YouTube- There was no 20 million views back then correct there was no like there's no tick tock to anything so like youtube if you went off on youtube it was like crazy yeah so like i had to call them like a year later and had my lawyer contact them to take my name off it so when you search me didn't come up because people would search me to go to my show and no stand-up would pop up yeah it would just be me making out are you now like uh can we put my name back on that because now that would be such a good promotional thing now 100 yeah maybe you should make all your promo videos clips from that i think at this point it's like over i don't think anybody knows but

but so many times people come up be like do you know i know you from and i'm like if they do this yeah it's that it's that it's like do you know hey this I know you from? And I'm like, if they do this, it's that. It's like, do you know, hey, this is kind of weird, but you, I'm like, what, I thought you had a kiss when you were 12? You're like, oh my god, yes. But now I'm 21. Where's the Marriott? Have you gotten any posts from the How To? Not directly, but I'm sure

in some capacity. Is it really easy, is it a very easy decision as a guy to have sex with fans? No, I do not. i try very hard not to do it oh that's i love that yeah you say again it's weird it's weird because it's really tough for girls because it's it's very it's a safety issue it just doesn't feel like right i mean i've done it but i mean like if one person on reddit gives like an actual truth because there's always like random people that are like i banged and you can tell it's fake you know if one person on Reddit gives like an actual truth, because there's always like random people that are like, I banged her and you can tell it's fake, you know.

If one person like went on Reddit and was like, after a show, I waited at the meet and greet and we had it, then the whole meet and greet would just be people like hovering and waiting. Thinking that they could bang you. Yeah. Klyla, can we go back to the Korean spa? Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. We've gotten consent. Okay, so.

Oh. Michael, it was Sure, sure. We've gotten consent. Okay, so. Oh. Michael, it was me. It was you? Yeah. You were there? Totally hot springs. Dude, shut. Hold on.

There wasn't a lot of people there. And can I tell you, so there wasn't a lot of other penises to put you up against? That's also true. But he sees a lot of penises. He's like a penis guy. Hold on. I'm so got him flattered. Hold on.

But where? Again, guys, there was like 10 people i don't really what if this ends with you guys doing a how to kiss video let's do it i'll do it but except my lips or my dick come on that's it there you go dude that's fucking awesome thank you i was gonna take that to the grave by the way julian Julian. Yeah, this one convinced me. Yeah. Okay, I have a question. As a guy who enjoys, partakes in the peen, when you go to a Korean spot, it's kind of a different vibe than a straight guy going?

Yeah, I go because that place specifically is always dead and they do the best body scrubs. Have you ever gotten a body scrub? It's the best. Well, you had a body scrub when you were younger right by your mom i was i was it's traumatizing mom mom now okay but do you ever go would you ever go on like a date with a guy to a i went with my ex-boyfriend once but you've been together a while we well we were together for like a few months okay and then you're like let's get scrubbed It doesn't feel, I thought it was going to feel sexual a little bit. Like the whole, because I've only been once. It doesn't feel like that at all.

No, not at all. I mean, you know what it's like, Annie? Remember when you went to the nude beach and you were like, this is disgusting? Like even if there are men there, people that you normally would be attracted to, like you just, the nudity of it all does not, there's no vibes of that. When I can finally get you bitches to come to a Santa Fe episode of Trash does not there's no vibe when i can finally get you bitches to come to a santa fe episode of trash tuesday which please god let's do it i need you guys to see this place i lived like it's so crazy there's a spot called 10 000 waves it's so

beautiful and there are nakes but it's it's it's too peaceful and it smells too good and you're in the mountains and it's too gorgeous i prefer even n I prefer nakies that don't look like Adonises. I want to see a hottie. Listen, I want to see a hottie and I want to see an oldie. I want to see the range of time. Oh, you want all of it. I want to see all of it. I want to see how life lands on a different thing.

Have you been to a nude beach or a nude? I've been to one nude beach. Now that I know you got a hog, of course. Which is like, it's just not sexual. Yeah. It's just like a bunch of people. I feel that way about the spa as well. Yeah, I mean, dude, a naked beach. Is anyone hot on a naked beach there's a few and it's just like

nightmares it's like a bunch of puddles now okay so do you have a penis do you have a penis do you have a penis yes do you have a penis that you are always kind of like excited you're not fully confident or you are like i'm'm ready to, I'm excited to show this. I like to say this, you know, like, you know, that moment, if you have a big ass dick and you can't wait for that moment,

when you take your pants off and the girl's like, Oh my God. Oh my, like, it's like surprising. I'm never nervous to take it out, but I know it's not going to be, you're not going to get the,

I'm not going to get, Oh my God, where's that going to go? It's like, I'll tell you where it's going to go. You have three holes. That's actually bad though. That is, what's happening in our heads when we see that is like, literally like, where

is that like going to go? Dude, I had a fight with my buddy in high school because he was like, just being like, I got a big ass dick, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah, but you don't use it. Yeah. Like you don't use it. So I would rather have a semi average dickverage dick versus some monster thing and act, like having a monster dick's a little,

like a problem. It's a lonely place. It's a lonely place. Yes. It's like being alone in a mansion. I don't mean to bring up all the hacky topics, but you do have, you're a foot fetish guy. Love it.

And so, have you seen the show, The Naked People Show, where they like, they rise up from like- It's called Naked Attraction, where they rise up from like— It's called Naked Attraction. It's on Mac. I've seen clips. Sorry, I've seen clips.

Now, would you be able to pick a girl just from feet? I could pick the feet that I find the hottest and don't want. Yeah, for sure. Let's suppose you pick the feet and you're like, those are the feet I want. And then you start to work your way up and you're like, oh, but that's not, those aren't the tits I want or those aren't. Would you trade our feet? Yeah, go ahead, Annie. Obviously, you're not going to pick a girl that you're not attracted to at all.

Correct. So you want it to be a good body. But are there feet that are better than boobs? Yeah, boobs don't do anything for me. Ass, feet? Nothing. It's all feet? An ass doesn't look.

Here's the thing. My number one thing that I find the hottest is like a small, really tight waist. Oh, you like a skinny? But do you like it to be like hourglassy or do you like a model skinny? It can be hourglassy or model skinny, but I like like- You want like a thin- I'm not big, and I like to be very very dominant so i need like a smaller person that makes sense so like you know so she's like whoa you're still strong but some like smaller guys like really big

girl it's funny how it lands like there's different ways that it but i have the same thing like i always i think that's the thing where it's like i never was like i need a tall guy or anything but it's like it does feel nice to feel small it does structurally I'm just I'm like a not a big girl but I'm bigger than

I think I just kind of like the whole variety of it all like some years I like them short and pleasantly plump other times I like them tall

and you know if you had to pick right now you want like a football player throwing you around? I was with Bobby for 10 years. So I mean like. He was a football.

He was a football. Yes. Yeah. Pigskin. But you know like, he just is so compact but that never got in the way of like sexual attraction.

So I think I just like it all. If the connection is there, I think I'm in. Yeah, there is just a vibe. So it's just like personal type thing? Yeah, it is. It's a vibe. Girls are a lot nicer about that.

Yeah, so you've never like met a dude who's like, wow, you're like, wow, really get along with this guy. He can be so objectively attractive and I will not have any feelings towards him if he, until I get to know him.

Like, Annie and I always talk about this he's got to have either like a something about him like a swag or something he says or clever or funny or there has to be something around just the physical yeah there's been like yeah because i can get over any physical thing i can date a bald guy i can date a short guy i can date all these things but they can't also have like like they might be gay i just can't like if you're like a feminine a feminine that makes sense like i had like this guy who in college and it's just he Like they might be gay. I just can't. If you're possibly gay, I can't fucking do it. A feminine. That makes sense.

Like I had like this guy who in college, and it's just, he just, he was very cat-like and very like, he moved in a way where I was like, you could leave me for a man

when I'm 50 years old. Yeah. You could leave our family for a man. Yeah, I think, I think with me, it's similar, but if a girl's too like,

too much. 892, like what's up, kid? But I could see you with like a strong Puerto Rican. I could see you with a strong, skinny waist Puerto Rican. Listen, I love it. With like cute- Like cute, like small little feet.

She always paints them white and she calls me like papi and shit. Yes, yes. Fuck. Wait a second. Or maybe like she has French manicure on her toes. I don't love French manicure, but if she wants to do that it's her toes can we go through your criteria for perfect feet sure um because i feel like everyone like yeah there's different there's different like you what's well some guys like the stinky feet i'm out you don't like the stinky no i'm out

what's a perfect what's perfect feet for you perfect feet are like size like small like small feet uh and they need to be descending toe order yes in terms of length like i i mean but you don't want it a sharp descent i'm out i don't need a sharp descent but i want nice even descent what about if the big toe and the second toe are about the same i'm i can i can get over that okay i can't do my last girlfriend actually their her second toe was longer than the first but what i found is she could because her she had a lot of dexterity in her toes she could when she gave me a foot job she can let her toes were like functioning as like little hands now are you it was so are you fucking hot on the first date dude i'm foot job at olive garden on the first date i don't give a fuck job at Olive Garden on the first date. I don't give a fuck.

When did, how old were you? Okay, so descending toe length, small, small. Yeah. What else?

Just like no suggestion of a bunion. No suggestion of a bunion. I probably could get over a bunny, but kind of no, like, so ballerinas

are probably out. But, but yeah. That's because they have the other, they have that thin waist. Dude, ballerina bodies are fucking nutso.

And they're so, they're just so, it's all their own body weight. Dude, I just matched with a girl on Raya that is like a pro ballerina. And I was like, the body is insane. But what if she had, could she keep, I guess you can't get it. There's no like socks that could remain on? No, because I, I, I, No, because I love having the feet involved. Oh my God, yeah. I love having the feet involved when I'm fucking.

Okay, let's suppose perfect foot. The other one, she's an amputee on the right. She's got a perfect, I mean the greatest foot you've ever seen in your life. Yeah, yeah. But the other one is not present. Where are we at? Okay, so let let's i'll give you an honest answer so where like like personality everything else small like small waist ballerina but for some reason her feet are perfect okay but one is gone one is gone okay here's the thing but

it's a really it's the foot but how's there gonna be a foot job uh With a hand. No, we can do it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, do the same thing. Yeah, I can take one of her hands and put one on the feet. And here's the thing. I think I can get over it. And we do fun things. I can put like a spring right there.

So she's like kind of springy. I literally cannot believe this is real. And we all get great parking. There's so many of you guys. There's so many of you guys. It's so hard. I really want to get to the bottom of this, though. How old were you when you realized hey you know what i i look at feet and i get a boner um i

here's the thing when i look because because people obviously find this out this is like a big like brand of my whatever and they send me and he's gone and they she's out she's out here um she's thinking about boundariesounties what uh i'm just no i just you know i pixelate my feet and i like you know that i've been doing that for years as a joke i i just didn't like foot fetishes were such a surprise to me like in 2017 like i found out about wiki feet and my feet were on it and i was like people are jerking off to my feet and i felt like i felt like a betrayal because i didn't know because I didn't know to expose or cover or whatever. And it's just, I guess I never, because I make fun of foot fetish guys, they get so upset with me that I never really have had like a...

A heart to heart? Like a feet and greet. Literally, that's what we call my meet and greets, by the way. And it's just, I just just it's just a good experience and you're having a great time i love it i love it it just makes me it's just this is like you're real like i believe you and i know this is real and i i just i guess i've never heard it this close up oh yeah okay so what how when was the inception when was the beginnings describe the first time through this so the

so to get back to iteration i guess what your question of your question is women will literally because they found this out obviously they'll send me their feet but this is such a good does nothing for you need to have the whole but i need to know what is attached to because random feet don't i know what are hot feet but i can't just jerk off to feet right you can see but there's a there's a there's a thickness of of ankle where you know what that waist might look a hundred percent yeah yeah it looks yeah but there's also i don't know i know some people that have a little bit of a thicker ankle and a tight waist and a fat ass and And it is pretty striking. My girlfriend in college. Yeah, pretty striking.

Cancles, but... Now, okay. Cancles are fine for you as long as the feet are... I can make concessions here or there, for sure. But it just depends on the whole package. Like, I couldn't... If she was like, you know... Isn't it good, though?

Okay, so where Matt Reif was like, I like older women, and you're like, I like feet. Every girl yeah this is very good move oh i try to send your feet yes well because i feel like like all my dms just it's dudes rate my feet women rate my feet and they go hey are you gonna be in the minneapolis that i have feet that's so good but aren't you because yeah it's good i think it's good of your thing out there um i think also just dude it also just frees me up because there are like before i was so like open about it you like there was like you know you had to like work your way into oh no the foot's in my

mouth oh my gosh do you know what i mean but now it's so open that like i think like most and i'm also way more comfortable with it you were like 69ing and you were like scooching up oh yeah you were like first of all 69ing is so overrated

where are you guys at on that oh god overrated it's a nightmare no one's focused it's terrible if I have a job that I have to do I'm not focused on the pleasure

I'm receiving straight up let me I need to separate yeah I mean I feel like that's just a young kid sport let me suck your vagina in peace yeah it's a young it's a young girl sport young boy sport i just remember going on the first i think they do it just because they want to do it and they think it's a thing to do i was on the

first hookup and the guy like dove down like he like i was like we're you think i'm gonna 69 you first date bro it was crazy and he was like this was like back in the day when i used to love to hook up with like the newer open micers it was such a sad power move thing it's pretty sad but there would always be like a hot woman coming was like a little funny i was like oh he's a little funny and i remember and then i had to see him like i would see him around i'd be like dude i can't i'm glad he quit he did quit dude the dive to 69 is kind of crazy he dove down i was like oh i don't to quit. Dude, the dive to 69 is kind of crazy. He dove down. I was like, oh, I don't...

Yeah, this is... So he positioned and did. Yes. That's crazy. He dove down. That's crazy. What was your question? I have so many. Okay, hold on. Wait, Michael, can you rate

Kalilah's feat for us? Please. Wait, hey, can I get Kalilah's feet for us? Please. Wait, can I get a, because you know I sweat. Here, towel. We're ready. I think Kalilah's got great feet. No, no, no, I don't actually. Here's the thing.

Can I say this? Yes. I already know. She has good feet. I already know. Wait, don't hype me up, Annie, because this could go bad. Not because I've seen, but because I can see proportions. And I see your hands too. I'm a girl.

I also know the Asian thing. I will say this. I will say this. I have gorgeous hands. The feet, I think, are very standard. Very standard. I'm being honest. But here's why.

So I used to be an athlete. And then I would lose my toenails from like running when I was like in my 20s. I don't now. It's so funny you're trying to get the socks instead of making girls drop their panties you're trying to get them

to drop their socks 100% wait hold on this has to be a slow reveal a slow reveal hang on it's already slow oh she's wiping

I'm not looking I'm not looking also I haven't had a pedicure a pedicure so don't judge the color there's no pedicure I like when you lose your American words all of a sudden.

So hold on. So before I see, you generally keep a pedicure going? Not always. It depends. If I know I'm going to see a boy, then. Oh, boy. Yeah. But you know where I fucked up?

He's pursing his mouth. He's pissed. Last week, I had the white nail polish. He's livid. You had the white nail polish. He's livid. You had the white nail polish last week? Last week, and then- Fuck! I know.

You getting a boner in the cow outfit would be funny. Yeah, the fifth udder. We could have Julian finish you off. Oh, they're not descending. Are you ready? They're so good. They're so cute. Okay, hold on. Wait, they have veins on them. They're so cute.

No, those are unbelievably hot. Are you fucking joking me well can you stop moving them so i can see i'm nervous they're nervous don't be nervous now they're not as small they're not that small in size though yeah they're not small they're a size eight and a half yeah i mean so that that's the only similar feet to you so in terms of arch and like skin softness and toes like really really hot the only thing and this is a personal thing because i'm a smaller person the size of them it's too big but i have what size but i have small feet so i that the whole thing is how to make you feel correct yeah correct i love this yeah yeah now okay and that's just on me because eight and a half is not big at all. But I am just. I think for my height, I think that's average, right?

I'm 5'8". Yeah. See, it's just. My max is like 5'4". I'm wearing my pixelated socks right now that I sell. Funny. Are we going to do yours next or something? Okay, good.

No, we're friends. Anyone that needs to find my feet, they can find weird pictures people have found. It's so funny. They get so excited when they find them. My wiki feed is, they're so mad at me. The whole thing is so fun. I've been doing this bit since 2017. It's very funny. Are people, they just...

They're mad at me, but they also want it. They're like, her feet are mediocre, but they can't say I have bad feet either. It's so funny. Oh, this is my wiki feed. God, they just get every tiny thing, don't they? There's one where it's like just the sliver of my pinky toe. Oh, God. Yeah, it's out there, guys. It's one where it's like just the sliver of my pinky toe oh god yeah it's out there guys it's cute though what's the toenail that you like the best my tone oh yeah is there a

specific toenail or color oh color white white wow yeah you can jizz right on it oh okay well i always talk about this sorry no good i was just used to much dude the hot is when you didn't ask but i just you said jizz on literally two days ago i did so i'm just walking through this literally what my favorite thing ever is when she's lying on the bed i'm standing her back are you out i'm listening are you sure i'm trying to imagine okay she's lying on her back yes on her back okay on the bed okay i'm standing okay right five eight not too high so and then her feet not touching the ceiling yeah i need to stand on phone books so the fan's not a problem so the feet how do i describe her feet are just on me like this yeah does that make sense yes right and fucking like this so i'm

looking looking at the feet while and you can see down while you're fucking- Fuck! So much visual stimuli. That's why you can't do cankles. It doesn't give you a big enough- Correct. He needs a thigh gap in the ankles. I need a thigh gap.

I don't need a thigh gap, but I prefer one. An ankle gap. I literally paid a trainer to get rid of my thigh gap. Really? Like that's his only job. Did it work? Marlon Fernando, the best freaking trainer ever. Just for my pants, it would be nice get rid of my thigh gap. Really? Like, that's his only job. Did it work? Marlon Fernando, the best freaking trainer ever. Just for my pants, it would be nice to not have a thigh gap.

I have asked him. It's like, this is the one thing I do not like is having a thigh gap. I don't like it. Hold on. You don't want one? I don't want one. Really? I don't.

She's like a ripped bitch. Yeah. She's strong. Her legs are very, like, strong. Like, there's, like, you can see the muscles in her thighs. Okay, let me see. I want to. I'm joking.

I want to be a little bit meatier is why. Meteor. Yeah. I would like to have meteor legs too, but it's a whole thing and I don't want to. Meteor legs for guys like you would have to take supplements and shit, right? Yeah. I don't, I mean for like who I am naturally, I'd probably have to take like steroids or something.

Cause I have the tiniest legs in the world. So I'd have to get like, yeah, to get to, I don't have a thigh gap. I take like steroids or something. Cause I have the tiniest legs in the world. So I'd have to get like, yeah, to get to, I don't have a thigh gap. I have like a whole gap. Like, like you would fit like a Turkey in there.

It's from like the calves up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like the whole, like my knees don't touch. I get the whole. You have a leg gap. Wait, that's just being bow legged,

I think. Maybe. I just learned, okay, I've been following this guy on Instagram that said that flossing your teeth every day can actually help with dementia in the future. I am not a doctor. I cannot promise this, but I'll tell you, I've been using this a lot. You have to push the button to turn it off.

My memory is already better. Oh. They also have this handy gum dispenserenser and do you like your toothbrush in a cover me too see it here help me get a quip i'm good at quips get a quip the quip electric toothbrush is loved by over nine million mouths and so is blousteins you know what i'm talking about ex-girlfriend's feet. In addition to brush heads, Quip also delivers fresh floss, toothpaste, mouthwash, and gum refills every three months from $7. If you go to getquip.com slash trash Tuesday right now, you'll get 20% off an electric toothbrush, mint and gum dispenser, and water flosser.

That's your 20% off any electric toothbrush, mint and gum dispenser, water flosser at getquip.com slash trash Tuesday. Spell G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com slash trash Tuesday. Quip, the good habits company. So last week, we had a huge debate that I think, I personally think Esther lost. Before we even tell you what it is. I just ask you, do you wear boxers, tighty whities or boxer briefs?

Boxer briefs. I'm not obviously I'm not seven years old. It's so obvious. I knew that. Like, thank you. It's so obvious. And listen, we have a big hog like this. Yeah. Yes. You have to wear boxers. Well, why would you wear boxers? Like hanging out the bottom?

But then I asked my niece, Juliana. She's 21. And she was like, ew, I want a boxer briefs. She's like, boxers only. I was like, wait, isn't that either a seven-year-old or a grandpa thing? I think girls on TikTok are wearing boys' boxers. That's what's happening. It's cute for underwear. That's why they think that, because I can borrow them. It's really, I think it on TikTok are wearing boys' boxers. Yeah, for us it's cute. That's what's happening. It's cute for us.

That's why they think that because, like, I can borrow them or it's really, I think it's that. But is the SAG coming back? Because in the 90s, I mean, obviously I liked a guy wearing boxers. Yeah, I just don't, I love the idea of all that extra cloth. Yeah. And having no place to go. My high school boyfriend had his boxers puffed out his ass and his pants were below his ass. And when he would play basketball, he'd have to hold his pants up.

I did like that. I liked the pants down. It was good. You saw a little, yeah. You know where sagging comes from? Yes, it's really sad. Yeah. Like when you're in prison.

And your clothes don't fit. That you're ready. Well, he went there. They say dress for the job you want. And he certainly did find himself in prison quite a few times. So she said most guys wear boxers or something? No, she prefers. She's like, it's a disappointment when it's not boxers.

Hold on. I'm sorry. Esther, though. Esther, Esther. A disappointment is such a crazy word to use. Not crazy, but it's like aggressive. Keep in mind that Esther has been with the same guy for over 10 years. So her takes are takes she had 10 years ago.

Speaking of this, I'm going to go off topic for three seconds. I want to get back on here. Can I ask you guys a question? So if you're with a guy, were you with a guy for, what's the longest relationship you've ever had is what I'm trying to ask. Four years. Mine's 10. I don't know if that's long enough.

I don't know if four years is long can i then i don't know four years long enough for this question so 10 10 is at what year are you on like autopilot sexually do you get to autopilot when when because what it is is you you start learning everyone's come buttons yeah and then everyone's coming in three minutes and you go all right cool now let's go to target like that's so not fucking fun for me and that happens like i'm like i mean for target but for me but for me it's like we i get like in year like that can happen one and a half yeah but i think also like even though i love to be just so like and meshhed with my partner the way I was with Bobby for so long like we just did everything together and we were just it was almost as if like I couldn't maintain an otherness about me and like something that was a little mysterious which I now regret um I now moving

forward will always keep that otherness that kind like, kind of like this sexual energy that I don't, that he may or may not know about. Like, I can't really describe it. Esther Perel always talks about this, but it's basically like keeping the mystery alive, even though you've been in a relationship for so long, which is really hard to do, but you have to try. Cause I know that feeling of like, even though I'm like, yeah, you're good looking. Yes, I am attractive, but I just don't want to fuck. Yeah, I think it's the, it's, yeah, because I get there pretty fast and it's also not like-

How fast? Because it can happen well before, even after a year. But how long do you stay in the relationship after that? I mean, I don't, I don't see, I mean, I've stayed in it years after that. Yeah. But like, I think my issue is like I know one more person open to think I think my my that's not a sock that's not a shoe

untying my I think my issue is and this is not me being like hey you know I just know what I like but I do know exactly what I like so I get there very fast yeah so like the first or second or even third time we fuck i'm very open and very comfortable with everything i like so i do pretty much everything i like very very soon maybe just slow roll it then what happens when you get married and you find your person and then their feet well they wouldn't be my person oh their feet get old because we're gonna get old no we don't get old no it, their feet get old. Because we're going to get old. No, we don't get old. It's going to happen.

Well, you can get, you know what? Here's a hack. What if her feet get old? Annie, I used to- Everything else is going to get old. I know, but- No, no, no, you guys. I was Kaiser Permanente's guinea pig for hyperhidrosis because I have excessive sweating on my hands and feet.

And I got Botox. A little on your lip too right now. Oh my God, so much. I'm sorry. Everywhere, everywhere. We have a lot of things. Oh, thank you. No, I have a towel right here. And I got Botox. A little on your lip too right now. Oh my God, so much. Everywhere, everywhere. We have a lot of things. Oh, thank you. No, I have a towel right here.

Hyperhidro... I sweat my armpits. You just went foot to mouth. Oh, it's okay. My feet are so clean. Say that slower. What'd you do? Foot to mouth.

There you go. There you go. She said it was so clean. They're so clean. Well, she didn't. She said there's a lot of sweating. I've never had a day of stinky feet in my life. But if a woman has a lot of sweaty feet, then there's no baby oil.

What do you mean? Oh, I thought you were getting mad. No, no, I wasn't getting mad at all. I'm saying it's a good thing because then there's no lube. To get a foot job, they're all sweaty. It's fine. Yes, true. But it's not as lubey.

Hand jobs are fine. But what's the difference? Why are there some guys like, I remember seeing on Vanderpump Rules rules that guy jacks his new his wife now it was his new girlfriend he gave her like um running shoes and said don't put socks on and run around the block and come back why are there some guys some feet guys like stinky stinky feet yeah what is that let's explore i don't know i don't know i would love to know that doesn't do anything for me that sounds very repulsive to me same same Do you want a girl to wash her feet? Are you like, babe, go wash them off?

Or you just want her to not, you want her to just be clean all the time? I think like, I mean, I would prefer clean. There's this one experience I had, I was in like Wisconsin and I was on the road and it was like early, bro. It was like 3 p.m. And I was like DMing this girl or whatever

and she came over and she's like, I'm coming from work. Do you want me to shower and i was like i don't that's a cute question it is a cute question but i'm but i don't like i don't care i'm like girls like oh mama appeared i was like i don't get i don't care about any of that shit like she comes over and she's like do you want me to shower i'm like i'm like i'm in my head i'm like i'm an adult i don't really care about a little smell it's fine but i feel what was her job oh well that's where i'm going daddy

it's okay um she literally was a farmer not like a fake farmer that's why she like a real i know madam but i didn't in in my head daddy and she got mad i don't know i don't know but you know what i mean like i showed my feet hey but uh but i i failed to remember that so then we got into bed and it was not okay like it was not like imagine a person outside from like what time do farmers start like 4 30 but also she should have known like even guys that like might like a little stink it's like not that much why would why would you ask you just wash yeah you just watch yeah but it's not you're not just would why would you ask you just wash yeah you just wash correct yeah i remember when i would go to jujitsu i had i did yoga beforehand so i would go to

jujitsu and sometimes i didn't have time to shower in between so i would always say to my partner like i'm sorry i didn't get to shower i don't know if i should say like sorry or you're welcome i don't know what you're into that's hot because it is like i'm like some guy i'm like sorry no dude that my uh i have to smell your balls. Our producer for Stiff Socks, like he's in, not like too much he says, but he's into like a little bit. Yeah. I don't knock it, but I'm definitely not.

You're not trying. I can handle like a little bit, but like I'm not like, oh hell yeah, you did jujitsu. It's not even so much that I'm like anti-beo, it's just gotta be the beo that I like. I dated a guy who was like two weeks into dating him. He was like, I have a really, like he didn't say it about sex stuff, but he just,

he just dropped that he has an insane sense of smell. Oh yeah, I have a really strong sense of smell. I was like, I never want to be around you. The pressure of,

of. Right. I mean, you're dating a fucking Wolverine. It's like, I don't, that's your superpower is that you can smell a pussy

from a mile away. Maybe he likes that. He was. Was he alluding maybe he likes that he was was he alluding to the fact that he didn't like it honestly he would have left my family too he would have left my family too it's about like i'm telling you like obviously like gender is like iffy these days and it's mixed and stuff and i'm into that but there is i think it's a i think it's an animalistic are you gonna leave my family for a man i'm into like. But there is, I think it's an animalistic, are you going to leave my family for a man?

I'm into like, are you going to leave me for a woman? You like that sort of... I asked him if it's hot to try to get a straight man. Yeah, it is. Of course.

Yeah, of course. But it's also tiring, right, like in my 30s now. But the chase is fun, but you're never going to win. And then so like, that first interaction is super hot, but but you're never gonna win and then so like that first interaction is super hot but if you're like the end of the day you're gonna fucking lose but if that first two interactions you're like oh i'm fucking a straight guy this is so hot but then

it's just like you're not you know that one or two is gonna be by the way to answer your question earlier about being in a long-term relationship like Yes, please. Like, no matter, you could find the most perfect girl for you today and be like, this is it. You are still going to go through the sexual lulls, I promise you. I feel like everyone does. I think I kind of think it's sweet. I don't know.

I think so, too. I think, like, my parents... Are your parents still together? No. Okay, so my parents are old as fuck and still together, and they love each other, and there's no way they're, like, banging. Like, I think my dad's penis stopped working, 15 years ago but i think but i think it's and i

think it's and they but they but michael their lives are so they love each other they go and walks together they laugh they're like cracking up my dad like has bad balance he falls into the wall they crack up like yeah it's it's like that to me is like the goal is to just be like laughing and like just filled with joy. And I think the sex stuff obviously is important. We procreate and we bond that way. But it's like in the end to me, it's like above that is like is comfort, happiness. Oh, dude, I agree with you. It's having a great partnership.

But we're still young. I agree. That's what I'm saying. And when I say we. But also maybe because you're throwing out all your favorite moves up front don't you think you want to roll that out maybe a little bit slower i think i think that's a good idea like start super vanilla but the problem is here's the problem i'm two separate people i'm me a way we're joking we're silly and then we cross into that

boundary and then i'm someone else. What's that someone else? Say again. What's that someone else? Just this like feral, animalistic, give me your feet. Maybe you need to be like have like a real dom sub like continuous relationship. Can you do those last? I've never really done that for that long. Like for a long period of time?

Yeah, can you do that for life? But I don't want that out of the bedroom. But that's what I'm saying. I'm too specific. Because I don't, that whole like subservient shit outside of the bedroom is very gross to me. I want you to be a strong, independent woman. Right.

Get your own money. Don't need me. Have your own world. And then when we're fucking. Be poor. Be poor. Beg me for food. And, well, for food.

And there's only one sausage. Yes. And food is to come. Yes. Have you ever had super in love sex? Yes. Where it's like very vanilla, just missionary, but it's super emotional and you're just so into the person that it doesn't even matter what you're doing.

And that doesn't like kind of last either for you? That. I, my favorite, I'm going to answer this question and then get to yours. My favorite type of sex is to sort of have like a perfect combination of choking, spitting, feet, more feet, and then probably the end feet. He's choking their ankles, not their necks. I wept on this podcast. You want to walk? Yeah.

I wept on this podcast. You want to fucking walk? You want to walk? Yeah. Here's what I, this is what I want to say also, like, just because we're talking about foot fetishes and I think about my own sort of like,

my fight with the foot fetish community that's not really a fight. I'm just being funny, I think. But they take it very seriously. I'm like, isn't the cool part of a fetish that it's a fetish

that people, it's like, I want to shame you for you. Don't you want that a little? Yeah. Isn't that what's fun about a fetish? No, but there are some fetishes,

like shame fetishes that love being shamed, but like certain people like certain things, but they don't want to be, if you shame them for it, it doesn't turn them on more. But you know what pissed me off

about it was like, tell me. When I put pics on my feet, they were mad at me, like give, no, it's my right to have, see your feet.

Well, that's insane. I'm like, but once I know, then I cover them. Like before, when I didn't know, you got to see them because I didn't know. Well, that's insane. It's not. I'm like, but once I know, then I cover them. Like, before when I didn't know, you got to see them because I didn't know. I'm not just putting my tits out. Here's the thing, though.

I actually never thought about this. Do you think part of that type of kink is like the voyeurism of like, oh, she doesn't fucking know that we're jerking off. She had spring break 2011. I've been saying this on stage where I'm like, what a great fetish to have before people knew about it. Yeah. Because it like, they were everywhere. Yes. And sometimes the feet that are out are crusty. Like the people that don't know are like people that aren't tapped in are like crusty. I was just thinking when I was in San Diego, there was a lot of like flip-flops and like

crusty. I was like, oh my God, your feet are out. Aren't you worried about foot? And then I went, I was like, oh my god, your feet are Are you worried about foot? And then I went, I guess you don't have to worry Oh, they're crusty Cover these crusties Can you tell when a girl sends you feet pics If she's facetuned them or not? Great question

Pulling in the arch, tightening the arch And then taking the bunions down Then descending toe length What are bunions? It's just like little bumps here. But how do they come there? From where your feet go into? Tight shoes, like ill-fitting shoes, right?

Over time causing like... And I think some people just like anatomically, that's just their feet. They like just a bigger jutting out. Anatomically, that's... I'm going to name my daughter that. Oh, I don't have any... Tommy, for sure. Hey, that's good.

I like it. What's up? You don't have what? Nope. I never had a bunion. I don't have any. Tommy, for sure. Hey, that's good. I like it. What's up? You don't have what? I never had a bunion. Oh, you had Lucky. Is there like a bunion implant people can get? Yeah, no, you can get bunionectomies.

You can get them removed. Oh, removed. Yeah. Do you have a foot? What is this? Can I have five of them? This is a girthy one. This is a girthy one. Why do you have girthy ones today? Can I tell five of them? This is a girthy one.

Why do you have girthy ones today? Can I tell you how beautiful these bananas are? We usually get some jack bananas in our years of trash. Yes, sir. Thank you. Didn't know what's happening. It started for when we would be upset. Because the show used to be called Bloodbath. You opened your banana wrong.

I didn't do it right. Yeah, you're supposed to do it here. Yes, you guys. Sorry, from philadelphia suburbs hello i was busy i was running from the police so no facetune photos no doesn't taste good though here's the here's the good but can i do short on flavor guys do we think that people just tune in to jerk off to this part i think they're very upset by this part, to be honest. Really? Misophilia.

What's it called? Oh, um. Misophilia. I think that's a commercial. That's a cancer. That's a cancer. Misothelioma. Dude, our first, our first like month.

From asbestos. Misothelioma. Our first like month on Stip Socks, we didn't know about the misothelioma, whatever. Yeah. And we would eat Skittles. And people were losing their fucking minds. There's a dominance thing in eating no but also it's such like a big because there's asmr of like mukbang stuff right that's just all crunch you said that's so fucking cool i know mukbang those feet are getting smaller in your head honestly i never knew I was into that word Honestly I am gonna say

I have hypermobile hips Trevor and her are out of vibes I actually have great foot job Like my feet turn in So my hips Can I show you I can go all the way I don't know what this is

You're like a toy story doll Yeah so like imagine I can just... Yeah, I'm flexible. Is that mesophilioma what I just saw? I don't know what it is, but my hips just are so hypermobile. You're doing bad. No, they're low on flavor.

They're not sweet. They're not sweet. What makes bananas sweet? Sugar? Are you... What? You want me to call the farmer, bitch? bitch listen he's trying to be unhorny he's like what makes a banana sweet this is like him well i guess when she put her feet like that it probably made you less horny oh when she did that so yeah unpeeled

at bananas so fast when my foot went that way you um just like ripped it off do you and trevor compete over girls at all never you don't have the same types nope yeah because i feel like you and trevor had a weird vibe no okay are you guys your vibe not at all i felt it i was i did not feel it you felt it i felt like i was on like a dating show where i was like are we gonna start this when you first were single i thought we're gonna have a rotating gas no no no i didn't feel a vibe at all okay like a vibe like a vibe like you guys were trying to like i thought they were like get in being cute together oh adorable okay okay my bad you guys and if you keep saying that you know

glassman do you know that yes do you think I cheated on Bobby with Rick Glassman. Okay, I don't want to talk about it again, but I don't understand why people can't just watch Ryan Sickler's podcast with Bobby and understand why you guys broke up or Bobby says why you guys broke up. He wants new pussy? Yeah. Yeah, I know. Well, he said it on.

He literally said it and everyone's like, no. It's like, no, she didn't. No, no. He literally said it. He told like, no, she, it's like, no, she didn't. No, no. He literally said it. He told you. We did a cut video. We did a video for cut and it's truth or drink basically. And they had us as a couple ask questions to each other as exes.

Right. And one of the questions was, I forget what the question, but he basically outed himself. question but he basically outed himself and um and it was one of the the cry laugh that happened after because he answered the question that was not intended that he didn't he wasn't supposed to answer it wrong no i mean we can pull it up after but it's so fucking funny i mean it compares you to our arby's yeah but basically on there he's like i had arby's for 10 years and i wanted outside of arby's he just needed new you know and that's fine that's okay it happens he literally explains it it's like just watch the episode no but they don't want to know that they don't want to know that um but that is that's the sort of ish what i was talking about like at some point you're're sort of like, I mean, I guess does that happen to you?

That's sort of what I'm getting to. Like after you're in your relationship for long enough, you're like, dude, can like let me meander. Not you just meander. So here's the thing. Whatever you feel, I feel. So like you're not the only one in their relationship that wants something new, that wants to feel the thrill of a beginning. That wants, you know what I mean? That feeling of like, oh like oh fuck this is exciting like like we girls do too if not maybe even more but i think that

if you just communicate that and it's not something that's a threatening conversation maybe you can get somewhere so let can i pitch you my idea yeah that i've never i've never it's not in practice this isn't theory but I would love if I could actually execute this what if there was a world where you're in a relationship and you're allowed to go outside of the relationship

once a quarter like a rumspringer but once a quarter not a full rumspringer so like four hall passes a year so four hall passes a year it cannot be anyone in your life system

it can't be anyone at the gym if you're like on the road hold on let me finish if you're on the road in like Tuscaloosa you're allowed to do one and then you come back let me finish. If you're on the road in like Tuscaloosa, you're allowed to do one and then you come back. It's Tuscaloosa, please.

And you have to be fully open and transparent with your partner to be like, I did it this way. There's no role lovers. You only get, you get four years. I think if we modeled it after like how gay men do it, I think we would get somewhere.

There's almost like a openness. Seems like we're having a great time, I have to say. Would you say, Julian? Wouldn't you say? I mean, I'm very monogamous, but it is, I mean, it's- Is that trouble in the gay community,

to be monogamous? Yeah, it's hard to find someone who's like actually monogamous. I'm monogamous. But in the gay community, it's a lot easier for people to be like, well, fuck the standard norms of relationships. And then it's also just a lot easier to separate the feelings, I think, with men.

Don't you think that the fear of the guy going outside of the relationship is already letting you know that he's going to go outside of the relationship? Do you know what I mean? That's why the whole jealousy thing doesn't make any sense to me. Because me being jealous towards a relationship, that's not going to do anything but push you away to do it anyways. Yeah. Do you feel it but just not show it, the jealousy?

I don't get jealous. Like, at all? No. And here's the thing. I've worked this in my brain where I think that I'm let's say a hundred percent cuck i think i'm like 25 percent cuck because the idea of my wife or girlfriend going getting fucked coming back and telling me about it is so fucking hot is so hot so that's why i think i'm i'm more open to what I just pitched. So you're saying is

if you want to go meander, you would also let her meander. Yeah, I would want her to. Okay, that makes sense then. That feels like super fair. No, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone, I want everyone to do it because I also don't want

any resentment. I want you to go fuck a dude at Exxon if you want to go fuck there at Exxon. Come back and tell me about it because it would make our sexual chemistry stronger because I would want to fuck you.

You tell me about it. It makes me hot. So my, because i would want to fuck you you tell me about it makes me hot so my i dated a guy who the previous relationship he had was an open relationship and he was like begged her for it right and she was like okay we can have an open relationship they were together for a long time then he was so mad at her yeah yeah like it was so crazy he was so mad at her and he was like no of course of course so pissed or like screaming like so like viciously mad at her and then when we started dating was trying to get me to be in an open relationship i'm like i watched this go down yeah yeah and i also monogamous so i was like no and we had sex all the time so it was like how many like and it was good set it was just like dude you can't like

it was weird it was just like i like this isn't for me i was just like, dude, you can't like. It was weird. It was just like, like, this isn't for me. I was just like, there's no like there's no future of this that works other than I think he just basically should be Mormon and have a bunch of women that can't hook up with other guys. Yeah. Also, it's his way like sabotage relationship, maybe. Who knows? I'm glad.

He's like not big enough to just be like, hey, let's break up. He's like, hey, let's make this complicated as fuck for six months. You've known me through some really disgusting relationships. I have. Yes, I have. You've known either all of them. I remember when I came to buy a couch from you and you found out who my boyfriend was at the time

and you were like, oh, he must have a really big dick or something. And he did. He did. Still does. Yeah, yeah. Who knows? I don't know. Maybe something happened.

I don't keep up. Wait. Dick accident? Okay. I really. Once they're gone, I don't even remember. I don't even remember what the other thing was. I really do love that. You know that about yourself that you're 25% cock and that, you know, there is, don't you like, I mean, I guess I had a boyfriend who was an Uber driver

back in the day and I kind of liked when he would be like, Oh, this girl was like rubbing up on me. I liked that. I'm kind of a cock too, but more of my fantasy is, um, I'm kind of a cuck too but more of my fantasy is being in the room and watching my partner receive pleasure so like I think it's called compersion yeah I mean it's something really

it's almost how monogamous are you sir I'm monogamous with that person yeah if we no I think that's still monogamy like I feel as though as long as there is honesty and whatever we do within the confines of what it's still monogamy as long as it's both understood would you consider the quarterly if the girl was there for like threesome or yeah yeah yeah because maybe that makes more sense i mean i think however the same person it

cannot those are the rules it can't be anyone in your life system and you can't go back to that person because then I feel like because the once you there's like emotional hooks

at some point because maybe you can do it once maybe you do it twice but then all of a sudden it's like you start thinking of Jason or fuck and I'm thinking about Tina whatever the fuck

this is where it gets complicated Tina and Jason so funny the most 1991 names ever remember Tina and Tony the like Italian fake wedding yes yes in New York.

Oh God. This is where it would get complicated. Like let's paint this. Like hypothetically, you and I are a couple, right? And I say, you know what? I actually understand you. Go meander.

Her feet are two sizes smaller. If you say it like that, I'm out. Because you're saying it like, yes, let's go meander if you're going to kill me. But no, no, no. But like I'm like, okay,

then you let me go do my own thing yeah but the problem with a girl like me is i cannot get wet until there is some type of intellectual or emotional connection right so it's hard to kind of disconnect from that it's never just sex for me so i think maybe with your type of person if i ran into someone that had like like-minded uh like what brain it would be the open communication of you letting me know that and then i think the the other level of what i just pitched would be just fucking in the same room or something like so we can still that is fun you know what i mean yeah so then it's like we're still doing it we're still experiencing other sexual pleasures from other people but we we're doing it together. So you can

still, my partner can still feel emotionally connected to me, still get wet. And we can still also have other, not just Arby's, just McDonald's. That is so sweet. And honestly, like you're a good negotiator. Would you let her have a Burger King? I mean, you know, she can have it her way. Question, if there's room left in Q4 for the budget, can they spend it all? No, it's not rollover. No rollover? No rollover. You can't be like, I have four left.

No, no, just one a quarter. Oh, I see. So if you forego that quarter, you don't get to the next and oh this this is the whatever like the i think that having this rule doesn't necessarily make you go out and go i can fuck someone i think what it does it it allows you to harness that excitement of having the availability to do it but i don't think you'll do it i mean you can and can't what What about paying for it? What about sex workers? Oh, like in the thing I just pitched?

Yeah. Yeah, sure. That's fine. Because you're like, a quarter's up. I don't feel like going to the bar. I'll just pay someone. Yeah, that's fine.

Because I know people whose marriages have been ruined because they... Oh my God, yes. They like dated or like cheated on their families with sex workers and stuff. And I'm like,

I think I'd be better with that. Especially like 10 plus and i'm like i think i'd be better with that especially like 10 plus years yeah i think i think you well i don't want to speak for you let me ask you so if they if you're open and transparent about it i think it'd be fine if they're doing it behind your back because i think they like that would be sometimes they like the sneak of it all oh the sneak of yeah the sneaks on so i have a friend who only gets wet from the sneak of it all, yeah. Oh, the sneak of, yeah, the sneak shot. So I have a friend who only gets wet from the sneak of it all. So even though her husband is someone who is like, might even be open to an open relationship, she's like, that will not work for me

because what turns me on is going behind his back. And I'm like, oh, fuck. I'm so glad i don't have that that's crazy yeah i don't have that at all because it makes me feel the guilt yeah it's me when i think about it makes me feel bad yeah i don't like lying i don't know having to keep up with a lie is so taxing it's disgusting people have other families yeah i know yeah how do you dude i'm on dating apps and i will literally conflate two people's stories and i can't but i can't even imagine how you have two families kids you got to meet the cousins and aunts and not fuck up yeah it's it's too much pressure that's way too much pressure field i have you've been what is it what is it if it's the same app that

i'm thinking is it threesome app yeah it's the threesome yeah daddy do the kink app what oh no maybe i don't know well no it is that that's what it is so it's it started as like a threesome app for like couples to find like other people yeah kind of but then it's kind of become this app where you can put in like a foot fetish right or whatever and then it links it can like link you up with people it's it's it's supposed to be like where you're open it's dating but like very open dating and like leading with that first and it's like very in right now that's super hot the problem that i see there is there's going to be like 58 people on the app total no. No, there's a lot of people. Oh, okay. Oh, there's a lot. Is it 99% dudes?

No. Okay. It's actually, it's like 80% male, female couples. Yeah. Oh, couples. Dude, I, fuck. Do you want to enter a couple? Do you like that?

I don't want to, oh, I don't want to fuck a couple, sure. Do you want to be the couple? No, no, I want to, I can fuck a couple for sure. But you said enter just in that realm. You didn't say like enter like, oh, let okay um dude i almost executed one but it just the communication a little weird i'm like i'm out but it was so hot because they were both texting me i had to like run i had to like she hit me up first we talked she told me the deal then i had to talk to her boyfriend, like separately over text.

And we were talking. It was so fucking hot because he was telling me what she liked. And he's like, I'm just going to be in the corner. Dude, she was going to put a cage over his cock. Because I was like, because in my head, I'm like, I don't want him jerking. I wanted him to jerk off to the idea of me fucking his girlfriend. Yeah. But not me.

Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So, but, and I ran that by her and she was like, no, no, he's very subservient to me he's gonna be in a corner he's gonna wear in a cage so we can't even get hard and i'm like i'm in i'm in how great it's called the chest it's chastity yes it was so fucking hot so interesting so so you got a unicorn there in the sheets i'm like oh my god silent i um do not like being unicorned like when couples when a couple and an established couple usually male female want me as a third i i get icked out i don't i don't i don't i am so scared of that the dude's

in the corner in this situation no in no. In your situation, yeah. Yeah, but I couldn't do that. But yours is like a cucksitch, right? Yeah. But I couldn't do what you just pitched. I couldn't be a unicorn. Yeah, for some reason, it's like I feel at a disadvantage when two people know each other really well and I'm just the toy.

And some people love just being the toy and it's a quick in and out. But I don't know. I can't get off at the thought of that. Dude, I recently had a threesome with two lesbians yeah i guess they were bi hot so fucking hot because they were they were so comfortable with each other obviously yeah and they were allowing me and they were a couple they were a couple so they were super oh that's cute dude it was so were they fans they were they went to a show but they weren't like fans before they just came to the show their friends brought them blah blah yeah so it wasn't like this weird like it wasn't like a parasocial

no no no it wasn't like that at all um but that's so cute it was so hot because they they both allowed me to be dumb in this situation and again they were so comfortable it was fuck that's all i got wow you've had some really fun, fun experiences. Yeah, but I'm sad. I just want love. You know what I mean? I feel like so, I just have my love. I don't need any of this anymore.

But Todd, he only watches lesbian porn, so I'm like, and he's like, I wouldn't be mad if you hooked up with a girl. And I'm like, it just, I don't think he understands the power of what a woman, how fast a woman can steal your girl. I'm always like, you should be like a little. A little worried. Like they're good, Todd. They're good.

You don't think like 10 years though? I always said if I got married 10 years. Well, I was thinking maybe we could have like a threesome with another girl. I don't know if he would. I don't know. Yeah, I feel like you guys

are just so sweetly in love. I just feel very happy. Yeah. Well, that's beautiful. Then don't ruin it. Yeah, don't mess with that. No, no, no. We're not messing.

I'm just saying like in the, whatever, but. Yeah, don't listen to us with that no no we're not messing i'm just saying like in the whatever but yeah don't listen to these things i go i'm sorry i'm i feel we're single we know the fuck we're doing i feel happy to be like it's a wrap on all these things yeah i go in and out of it like some days like when i'm nearing my period i'm just the biggest like any idea sounds hot to me i'm like gangbang let's go let's but i never when it's time to execute i'm like in there i'm in do you ever play that game bunion on a bunion you try to catch what is that i wouldn't do a bunny but i do funying on feet that sounds so hot little toesies oh if i hit the middle one it gets my ass do you taste feet do you you

what do you mean do you like to is there a taste he's looking at now what do you mean? Do you like to... Is there a taste you like? Do you like to eat... Do you like to suck on toast? Oh, yeah. Great. Oh. Fuck. What an episode, you guys. This was so fun.

Thanks for coming. Thank you so much. You have to come back. I have so many more questions for you. I would love to come back. So many more. I feel like we just scratched the surface. Dude, let's do a little collab.

I'm definitely down. This was so fun. It was so fun. It was great to have you. Kalilah, thanks for exposing your tootsies. You're welcome. Dude, let's do a little collab. I'm definitely down. This was so fun. It was so fun. It was great to have you. Kalilah, thanks for exposing your tootsies. You're welcome. Yeah, thank you.

And you're on tour? I'm on tour. A Billion Cities. Go to BlauComedy.com. Get tickets. He's killing it. He's so funny. Thank you so much.

My friend forever. Finally doing well. We all struggled. So long, dude. We all fought. We fought hard. Also, Stiff Socks podcast every Wednesday with me and Trevor Wallace. And that's all I got.

Thanks for coming. Thank you so much for having me, guys. I had so fun. Like, subscribe, hit that bell. Do all the things. See you guys. Bye.