Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Up in Da Club

Episode Date: April 20, 2021

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What's your name? Are you married? I'm married. Hi. You're so cute! There's no way you're alone enough to get in! Welcome to Miami! Esther, we're not in the club yet.

No. You might not even get in, Esther. I just wanted to see. For her mom kids. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. Esther, we're not in the club yet. No. You might not even get in. Just one for me. For her mocktail. She's driving. She's riding us on her scooter. And her neon.

Who's our DD? Who drove us here? Esther, but we have to get her a phone booth. No, here's the worst thing about being friends with me is I don't drink, but I also don't like to drive. Should we talk about what choices we made? So welcome to Bloodbath and Nightclub episode. Yes, our male host is here. What you're seeing is everyone's different interpretation of what a nightclub attire would be. Should we all, let's start with Kalilah.

Speaking of attire, you look great. So yes, this is a very special episode we're calling up in the club hey slut you fucking slut you look like a hot slut dude i'm about to eat you out maybe i do like the taste of pussy wow oh my god okay so this is a interpretation of what we think young club goers wear right and for someone like esther who's never been to a club um she'll explain her outfit in a second she was in the book club but she can't read so she got kicked out it was scrabble club i'm so good she doesn't know how to play chess she only plays scrabble okay so i guess i should explain my outfit first yeah what's going on because you're giving off

a very specific like hollyvard. You would think that. Tourist nightclubber. On the surface, that's what it looks like. But there's actually a backstory to this. So this is it's 2004. I'm 19 years old in Vegas. I don't have my fake ID. The rain, the water got into it.

So it's like, what do you call it? Smudged. My fake ID is no longer. And a friend of mine calls me and he says, there's a dive bar down the street. We'll let you in if you look really hot and mature. So I rush over to the mall, go through the Charlotte Rue's rack,

the sales rack. It's a mature place to shop. And I go back home, get ready. Slow motion by Ju by juvenile is playing I I put on what I think is the most mature hot girl look I walk four blocks I wobble walk all the way to this bar only to find that everyone in there is wearing cargo shorts and flip-flops so I'm really embarrassed about my outfit I find a dark corner where the jukebox is at. I play Mr. Brightside by The Killers.

I'm getting really emo. And then I decide I'm just going to get blackout drunk. And I go to the bar, go for some Jaeger bombs. And then the next song that plays is Buried Myself Alive by The Used. I get super emo. I call my ex-boyfriend to pick me up from this grimy bar. And we hook up. You blow your way home.

And I blow my way home. You hooked up with your ex. Yeah. That's what happens when you are emo'd out. And you drink. And Jaeger is involved. Oh, drinking was just call your ex all the time. That's all we did.

Which was awkward because I was always banging the bartender. So I was like, I got to go. My ex is picking me up. Okay. and the bartender so i was like i gotta go my ex is picking me up my okay so my my interpretation of the nightclub i was going for clearly i was going for the miami do i look a little bit like a cuban man see puppy those titties don't though damn my little side view no there's an underboob iob. I catch an underboob. It's shocking.

It's not even hot underboob though. No, it is. This bra is just too small. That's a bra? Actually, it's a... Are you stealing my boob? We're blurring out the nipples that are sticking out. And we're putting it on OnlyFans.

$100. I have not really been to a nightclub, as you may tell from my outfit. There is one night where I went out with a friend of mine in L.A. to a nightclub here. It was at a it was like I don't know what it's called, but it's in Koreatown. And I I was wearing pants. I'm pretty sure you can't even get onto a roller coaster. I'm very surprised we could get into a club. I was wearing pants. I'm pretty sure you can't even get onto a roller coaster. I'd be very surprised if you could get into a club. I was wearing pants.

I didn't realize every single woman in the club was wearing a skirt or a dress. And I was like, wow. And I was standing there talking to a couple of friends that I was there with. And all of a sudden this drunk girl comes up to me and she's like, do you have any more cups? And I was like, just because I I'm ugly you think I work here this is so unfair that would be child labor against child labor laws what is this 12 year old doing here Annie talk to us about your tracksuit and your bling well I actually bought

this just like to wear okay I like the idea of like buying a money thing that costs 12 dollars or something about that that's like pretty you know it's like I want to wear my manifestation on my neck um the juicy track suit I mean obviously I rocked this type of look and I still do I mean I don't not still wear this outfit I wore a lot back in the day I wore a lot of I wasn't really a skirt person because my legs chafed so you never want to be like trapped outside with chafing legs so I always wore well I guess when I was go-go dancing I wore a skirt but this I feel like this look is like after my shift of go-go dancing at the bar swig in Santa Fe which was a gay bar but there was no other club in Santa Fe so it just

wasn't a gay club but it was a gay club it was like run by two gay two gay guys um and there were a couple and then it was like this crazy Miami looking nightclub that had like fake grass on the walls of the bathroom which if you think about in retrospect is literally the most disgusting covid thing in the entire world why because it's like fabric-y like it's like so you're shitting in your're shit spray or you're peeing and it's like attaching to like stuff it's not like wallpaper where it just bounces off is this the first time we've said the words fecal matter on bloodbath it only took us 10 episodes i think so in fact do you guys know that in order to cure some um intestinal issues and infections people have to take poop pills and or eat is it their own poop we have a transplant right transplants yeah i was wondering have you

ever offered up to be a donor no but i've heard of this i thought they they take your someone's poop and they put it in someone else's butt or they swallow it you're saying it can go either direction this is the girl that didn't know what ass to ass was, okay? I'm calling bluff on that one. It meant a very different thing to me. But it's basically to repopulate your... Gut biome. Yeah, your gut biome, yeah.

With the good stuff instead of the infectious stuff. Esther saying biome sounded like it was part of her like bat mitzvah speech, like reading the Torah. Bachom. sounded like it was part of her like bat mitzvah speech like reading the Torah I am so you know when this is me this is how I feel right now you know that girl who's always pulling her oh it's never not if I've ever worn a skirt I'm always that girl yeah but I always wear like bootleg jeans and by the way I've always remember they were low-cut and muffin top wasn't even discussed yet so it's like it just was like this problem and so I would get big belts and I would keep them unbuttoned the pants unbuttoned so my ass would look good and tight but then I would keep them unbuttoned and then the belt would cover where it was unbuttoned oh and there's a little bit open but you could still also see it

and I would wear like lingerie as a top a lot of time, like, thinking that that was chill. I feel like that's still, that's evergreen. And I always, I have pictures that I can show you. And I always, we get wasted and take pictures with cops. Yeah. Oh, same. Why is that a thing? I don't know.

It was, like, a funny, like, hot girl privilege thing to be like, look, I can get the cops to look at me if I'm drunk. I'm, like, hopping into my car, like, see like see you guys but really we seek out cops and taking pictures with them because when I was in Andres when I was in Esther you never attacked a cop and asked him for some donuts you never like I know you got him on you give me some when I was in Spain I did the same thing they were more than happy to take pictures with me I have like a whole collage of just taking pictures with cops. I don't know what it is

about my drunken state of mind. I just like, it seems so funny because you're obviously about to do something so illegal. Like you're obviously like something bad's

going to happen. Yeah. Something bad. But I, it always worked out for me. I remember I was leaving one of my go-go dancing shifts and I was wasted

and I got pulled over and my friend Christina was in the car. And I remember putting watermelon bubble gum in my mouth and and being like, like, I'm going to jail. Like, call my parents, tell them I'm sorry and I'm going to jail. So the cops come up and it's a cop I know. And he's like, Annie, what are you doing? And I was like, give me your license and registration so I'm trying to find my registration and my it's you know every part of my car is a drunk drawer so I'm like reaching and trying to find it and I can't find it so then I start to call my parents

and he sees that my license was from Pennsylvania this was in Santa Fe and he goes do not call your parents it's like six in the morning it's like you know four in the morning they're like don't call them he was hanging up the phone and I was like all right they won't care just clap it out and he goes he goes just go home we'll follow you okay so I'm like oh my god I'm getting away with this so I get all excited I look to my friend like fuck I'm getting away with this and I go like oh my god and I go to high five him and he's not there anymore and I just high five the air and he looks back and he's like Annie go home go home and I had to like just pull my hand back in and roll the window up. And then he followed me back to my place.

I did pop tires. I was a very bad girl. I was a drunk driver. It's my favorite part. People always ask me what I miss about drinking. I'm like, the driving. The best part. Pete, I just want to say that you are the worst bouncer

because this shit's cutting my blood circulation. No, that's good because he doesn't want you to be able to slide it off and give it to your munchkin friend. Oh, that's true. That's true. Kalilah, how do you feel in this outfit? It's very insecure. It looks so good. Why do you have it?

Because we were like, let's do an up in the club episode. It looks so good. I look ridiculous. No, it looks really hot it looks really good bobby couldn't stop taking pictures of me because it's hot bobby couldn't was he making fun of you he wasn't no because it's hot like he liked it the thing where he negs you he couldn't even neg me he just kept taking pictures well you know how long it's been since he's taken a picture of me eight years what did he say i he just whipped out his phone. He's like, oh my fucking God.

You look really hot. It's really good. It's just because this isn't my style. I would like you to wear this. All the time. Yeah. I mean, I don't want you to keep pulling it down. And the hair and makeup is really pretty.

And I like the makeup because, okay, so I tried to do the same thing, but I was a little bit in a rush. But I was trying to do like, I remember I was like, what was makeup like back then? It would have been way more glitter a lot of glitter I have way more glitter but Always like the brightest color. I should have eyeshadow. That's what I was going for the blue Esther I will say this because I did live in Vegas for several years and I did Mm-hmm, I went to UNLV and then I lived there for like four years. That was my dream school UNLV yeah, that's no one's dream school. You went there. Yeah, I went there. I four years. That was my dream school. UNLV? Yeah.

That's no one's dream school. You being there is so weird. You went there? Yeah, I went there. I was on a full ride for swimming. Why would you be there? They had a really strong jazz dance program. They did. That they did.

Get up and dance, bitch. Don't just say that. Show some jazz dancing. And there was no other colleges had a jazz dance program. And they were like the one. My dad was like, no, you're not going to UNLV. Like, I i don't know why was it as bad as like my parents made it out you haven't sold into sex trafficking are you kidding me thank you i'm glad you know that's a compliment like the clubs the the clubs are so strict like that's what i'm saying like this is why i ended up at

mostly dive bars around the strip because you you couldn't get away with it but um i will say they did have a great jazz program jazz dance program um but that outfit that you have on is actually what's what the cool girls are wearing to the club these days really like this right here is is obviously like dated and you kind of you don't you the sloppy, uncool boys to hit on you. That is very, oh, she's very high fashion. Wonder what that's about. She doesn't care. She puts so little effort in.

Must be a lot of effort. Thank you. And if they see that side boom, you're in the club. Esther, you were never invited to a club. Is that why you named your podcast Esther Club? There's finally a club you can go to. Check it out on YouTube. In our college town, you could get into the bars at 19.

I went to University of Illinois in Champaign. And yeah, which is weird. Like I don't, you can't drink, but they let you in the bars at 19. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, even like the fully nude strip clubs, you can get in at 18. You just can't drink. Right. I guess that's not that crazy. And you can work there at 17. It's crazy. Can you really? No. I mean, even like the fully nude strip clubs you can get in at 18. You just can't drink. Right. I guess that's not that crazy.

And you can work there at 17. It's crazy. Can you really? No. I'm just kidding. I don't know. Yeah, but in Vegas, like that was it. Like we went to the fully nudes and then we just found whatever disgusting hole in the

wall we could. Kalilah, we didn't know you lived in Vegas. And I've been meaning to ask you because our mutual friend, Jenna, I remember over the years she's told me that she would randomly be going on trips to Vegas with you to go clubbing. And that doesn't really sound like my Kalilah that I know. What is this? You're a nightclubber. No, I'm not a nightclubber. I just occasionally took girls trips to Vegas because it was familiar to me.

I have a lot of friends out there and I have a lot of connections out there. So a lot of people wanted to show people you wanted to throw your dick. Yeah. So if if somebody was from out of town, say, for instance, like my friends from Spain, they'd be like, you know, hey, you know, Kalilah, we're going to Vegas. I'd be like, they would basically use me as they're in. So they didn't have to wait in line. Wouldn't be Vegas. Vegas. Let's go to Vegas. Yeah. Being at a club is my nightmare, though. It's so unfun for me. I'm so embarrassed dancing. I don't, it's not fun.

There's no joy. I don't drink anymore. So I would get wasted in dance. And that was how I got my go-go dancing job. Yeah, there's no point in going if you're a sober person. Really? It's like just sitting there. I'm just like charging my phone.

Wait, should we? Wait, hold on. Do we? Are you going to go dancing in Vegas? What do you do in Vegas? Where do you dance in Vegas? What the hell would you do in vegas i don't dance in vegas i love vegas no what do you do in vegas i go to i've seen britney i've seen lana del rey i i forgot she's a fan lady gaga i haven't i didn't get to go to lady gaga because i was too scared of covid and then you know what happened but um i love here's why vegas is amazing because you can go like when your favorite artist is there, you get tickets and then you stay in the same hotel where the concert is.

So like you go see Lana Del Rey and then you just like walk back up to your room and go to bed. Well, that's the same concept with the club. You stay, the club is usually in the same hotel. The restaurant, the late night restaurant is in the same hotel. So this is like a stumble back into your room you find a boy it's not that far you hook up with him you find out it's esther i've seen share celine dion like i love vegas have you seen um love um the beatles show no i haven't seen any it's the best i'm not i feel like i'd be bored i saw one Cirque du Soleil Which one? After that one girl I don't remember what it was

But it was after that girl died And I was like I was almost disappointed I was like You kind of go Was it a water one? The water was like up here Is oh I think

Yeah it was It was like water in the sky Yeah So a lot of my friends Ended up working You know In the industry there And like

And so That was just like my playground but if i would go to the club i would put on this like alter ego i was anastasia so when i would go with jenna to vegas um we would just have a laugh the whole weekend the funnest part was getting ready would you guys drink i would drink she doesn't drink she doesn't drink yeah she's my dd but does she like to dance yeah she loves to dance see if i like to dance i would get it but what i like about vegas is you can smoke cigarettes in the fucking place you can they give you free drinks you gamble i gotta oh i love i love listen there's a slot

machine that i love the family guy one the family guy one no No, but obviously. What's it called? Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune is a great one. And it comes to you. It's the three spinner thing. We should go, you guys. I would love to go. I'm down.

Let's go tonight. Let's go tonight. Don't threaten me with a good time. Do not say stuff like that because I will go tonight. Maybe I could. That's what Dave and I once did that. So Dave and I used to play this game called percentages where we couldn't decide where to go. We like one, two, three, and then you say what percent you want.

So like maybe you want to go like 60% or 70. And if it totaled over a hundred, we had to do it. So oftentimes we would do this for like, do we want pizza tonight? One, two, three, like percentages. But we, the night of Thanksgiving one year, we're like, should we go to Vegas tonight? We did percentages and we fucking did. We're like, we have to go. So we drove to Vegas that night.

It was so much fun. Of course, I got sick the next day because I'm Jewish. It was too much excitement for me too fast. Did you get a wheelchair? I wish that was only in Japan. Wait, I have a question. I want to do a percentage with you. Okay.

All right. What percentage do you want to eat a bug? One, two, three. A hundred percent. She's got to do it, folks. It's over a hundred. You're breaking the laws of percentages. I can't believe there's a way to get you to do it, folks. It's over 100. You're breaking the laws of percentages. I can't believe there's a way to get you to do things.

This is fun to know this. It's really fun. We haven't done it in a while. And I'm. But I would just my game, my game with you would always to go high because I know you're going to go low. But that's see the Nats. Actually, you're breaking the rules of percentages because you have to do what you truly want

because it's for people who like won't say what they want because they're like afraid of doing making the other person do something they don't want to do so it's like you have to really look within and what percent do you really want this and that's why it's fair i love this game i'm gonna fucking play we should play this game okay let's let's play percentages on vegas. All right. Esther, you're already backing out. This was your fucking idea. The only thing is I'm going.

I have nine foster animals right now. But I'll make it happen. I'm going to Boston in two days. If it totals to 100. Right? So then you have to take that into account. But with three people, yeah. Okay. So like the most you would...

But you have to be honest with yourself. I can't go because I'm going to... I have to be in a writer's room all day tomorrow and I have Boston in two days. I mean, it's a Zoom writer's room. That is true. There is a Vegas airport that flights to Boston. Honestly, imagine her just like on her phone

doing the writer's room in a casino what time are we going to bed what time are we going to bed in vegas we're not sleeping we're not sleeping right you don't sleep when you go for one annie and i when we were in montreal stayed up all night it was the most fun ever and we okay lisa trager was asleep underneath us and we were like we all knew if we moved too much that she would get up and be like like if she got up that it would ruin the night. Like she would like, it would, one thing could end it. So everyone was very, it was Kate Berlant was there too. We were all like, so still.

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And as a listener of our show, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com slash Bloodbath. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E that's betterhelp.com slash bloodbath. It's definitely worth it. I would love to plan a Vegas trip with you guys. I feel like that's just, it takes away the thrill. Yeah. What if we plan it for like literally next weekend?

How about we just say next weekend ish or like two weekends from now what about when i come back we give ourselves a two-week period to do the percentage yeah because i think we should do the would we drive or fly i think we should drive because i like that casino on the way in and the roller coaster on the air i love that one i love that you know um there IHOP. You'll be happy. Yeah, so there's a roller coaster on the way there. There's an empty water park on the way there. There is the best Del Taco in all of America in Barstow.

Exit Linwood. Why? The best. What makes it good? It's the original one. Oh, I like this. Very original. So we can have like a set of activities that we for sure want to hit. Yeah, what is the

kalilah vegas trip look like like what would you want us to do um is it like a peak ratchet kalilah well what would you do with us what do you oh with us with you guys yeah oh okay what would the tour look like outlet malls i don't do outlet malls because shopping is in general really stresses me out um we would for sure do lenwood we would stop it's about um an hour and a half from here we stop at barstow we eat del taco chicken soft tacos and then we stop at annie's um roller coaster we can watch her go on the roller coaster and then um we put on um kid cuddy when we're at the state line because we can see the Vegas outline. Speaking of Kid Cudi, Kid Nita Hair Cudi is in here. Come here.

I'm going to make an appearance. Yeah. That's such a nice t-shirt. Who makes that? It's definitely not a Hanes. It's an expensive t-shirt. Wow. Bobby, you dress so cool. Would Bobby come with us? Would you Would Bobby come with us?

Babe, would you do? Would you come to Vegas with us? Todd would like to go. And then we just hit up. Oh, another thing. We have to hit up Roy Choi's restaurant. Yes. Best friend.

Yes, it's it's reopened. Our sandwiches are going up, up, up, up, up. It's at the it's at the same hotel. It's a park MGM. Yes, MGM. Yeah, I do want to do the rides in Vegas. I don't know. You probably won't want to do. I'll watchgas i don't know you probably won't want to do i'll watch you do them and then you can review them the one in new york new york

yeah the one in the front all the way down yeah wait this would be so much fun we have to i mean we should go tonight wait none of the shows are happening right the other thing that's crazy about vegas is they have all the good restaurants like all within walking distance there's four sephoras on the strip i always walk to each one you get such a good exercise in because it's so much walking please cut to me carrying her on my shoulders she's like i can't do another step um what else what else are we gonna tell paulie shore to drive us around his convertible paulie lives in vegas i will tell you something i was like i don't wasn't really feeling like ve recently. I was like, I don't. And then Pauly moved to Vegas and he started posting on Instagram,

him cruising in a convertible just down the strip. And I was like, I've never wanted to go to Vegas more. Like he just set it up. And I think he lives in like a very historic home too. Like I forget who it was, but it was like some big, big Vegas, like showman who like passed away and he bought the home. So I know Esther would be into that. Yes. A like showman who like passed away and he bought the home so i know esther would be into that yeah like a dead showman yeah anyone dead is fun and then where else can we go there isn't there isn't any more um bungee jumping for you at circus circus that's out i definitely want

to eat yeah let's just eat a lot i want to introduce you to my vana machine okay the slot machine are you just a slot girl that's it i like i mean when i listen i've never gone to vegas feeling like i have money to spare so i just give myself a hundred dollars to play that machine but when i have money i you know i like to play blackjack a lot it's my favorite going with bobby is the most nerve-wracking thing because he just throws so much money and loses it all i remember i was there he loses a hundred percent of the time i was in vegas the same time as hannibal burris once and hannibal we were playing blackjack and he lost like fifteen hundred dollars like right in front of my eyes and

i went hannibal it's okay like it's gonna be all right i was like just take a breath and he's like oh like i have money i was like oh i really couldn't even imagine a world i would have been devastated i once saw hannibal burris on a flight to vegas does he have a gambling addiction he went you know what it was it was during um an nba draft or something i think he likes to gamble on sports i love the energy like you do i love okay here's what i love when you know that everyone around you is like awake and alive and energized like i just love that feeling there's always something happening the neon i i love vegas and i'm prostitutes the strip clubs we have to go to a strip club a thousand percent i know the best ones which i've what well it depends what you're into but girls i don't care rhino's a great one because they have a rotation of just so many girls all

night there used to be olympic gardens which is like a man and woman one. It's like two tiered. And there used to be Crazy Horse. Should we go to Vegas and just be strippers for the weekend? I'd try to get jobs. Wait, we should have all three of you. At what club?

Maybe her, us. Wait, I don't wanna have stripper moves. Okay, maybe this one. Of the three of us, I feel like you guys would have the better moves. I have one move when I was a go-go dancer. Show us. Oh, yeah.

You were a freaking go-go dancer. I would go like this. And then I would go like this. Oh, that's cute. Do you have anything under that top? Why does she keep doing this? Since I was 14. You know that me and Becky, mole stealer, got in trouble.

We were at her house. We both had our nipples pierced. We were at her house in Germantown, and we were out on the deck, like the front, like tall porch. What do you call that? Porch that's on the second deck. Balcony. Deck. Balcony.

Okay. And we were just flashing people as they were driving by. She was like 14, like showing her little like baby tits and um the neighbors called her mom and her mom i have never been in so much trouble her mom was like you're gonna get me raped what if i'm gardening and i was like they're not gonna rape you bitch they saw if they want our tits they're not coming to your old ass but i just got in so much trouble but I've been flashing my whole life Esther I want to see your your club moves okay there's a cute boy there's a cute boy no no there's a hot girl there's a hot girl you need to get impressed I'm sorry I'm sorry you're right Annie

okay it's creepy already I'm so gassy do we need music? Hang on Do we need music? In the club They can't hear it Oh my god I'm having flashbacks To Natasha Bedingfield This is just how you always dance Do you high kick

In a dance floor Because you will Knock someone out Oh my god Please Oh my god There we go The underboob is coming out.

You know what my dance move is that I do because I'm uncomfortable? Keep dancing though. I put my hair in a ponytail and I whip people with it. It's fun. People get real mad though. Oh, it's weird. You're pure gold and sounding a little light. Bienvenido a Miami.

Wait, so Whitney had this show At her house And Natasha Bedingfield Sang at the end of it And Esther danced With the whole thing It was so amazing I don't want to say

She stole Natasha Bedingfield's thunder But It was incredible Everyone at that house That night Owes me A thank you Because I got that bitch

To sing Unwritten Yeah She went up And she whispered The whole thing And she went She whispered in Natasha's ear Andasha started to sing it and esther went she was crying it was so funny we gotta get the video we have videos of that we should post that

on this that was so funny i i caused the guy a nosebleed on the dance floor what do you mean he came in too hot from behind me i didn't know he was coming and then I turned around and I knocked him with my elbow and he was like like this and he had to walk out like this.

It was a full on it was just a stream of blood. Was it a blood bath? It was a blood bath on the dance floor and I could not stop laughing. I kept saying sorry

but I could not stop laughing. Can we see your dance moves? I don't have dance moves. It's only fair if you show us. What do you do at the club? Look, I always have a drink in hand? I don't have dance moves. It's only fair if you show us. What do you dance? What do you do at the club? Look, I always have a drink in hand,

so I don't, I can't do moves that spill water, right? Why the fuck did me and Annie have to dance without sound? Let's do more, yeah. Are you drinking a Coca-Cola from 1982? Here we go. We're at the club together, guys. Okay, my one move. I have a drink in hand.

I have a drink in hand. This is me the whole time. Ooh. No, I too, I'd be like this. I have a drink in hand. This is me the whole time. Oh. No, I too. I'd be like this. I'd be like this with my drink. Like, I can't dance. When I was on the podium, too, when I was a go-go dancer,

if someone had, like, I could kind of, like, do, like, a this. Anyone not shut up while she's dancing? Well, that's her move, right? So you don't have to do it. I'm so embarrassed. Okay, grunt. Oh, my God. Where are you from?

Where are you from from you got a man you're cute oh god i'm sorry you probably saw my badge i could host a bat mitzvah why have you never done that get on the dance floor. We need some like blow up shoes that people can put on or like a blow up saxophone. It's Catherine's special day. The electric slide. Please, Cripp. Are you imagining like all the Jewish children? Esther.

Everyone put your hands in the air Jewish children Mazel tov Mazel tov to Jimmy What was there? Was the electric slide We'd always do at Bar Mitzvahs Cha-cha slide Cha-cha slide

There was another one Oh the Macarena We never got the Macarena Oh we Macarena'd like crazy oh you know i got in trouble okay and i've confronted this girl actually works in the business some i don't remember what she does now chelsea friedland but she okay so and she had a joint her brother was like one year older than her so they had a joint bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah and i showed up in a like i wore like a cute pantsuit

i thought and then all the rumors were that i showed up in jeans to disrespect this but wait i have a question about bat mitzvahs um do you have to come in a certain attire it's like a wedding i would say so it's not like black tie but like um um like cocktail attire well like what you would wear to a wedding like you should wear like a nice dress. I don't know. What do you wear? I'm actually not the right person. Obviously.

Did you get mitzvahed? I sort of came in with like a, no, I wish I did. I just wasn't raised Jewish at all, but I did, I was very, I had a lot of Jew envy because everyone in my neighborhood was Jewish

and my mom threw us this 13th birthday party to try to make us feel better about the fact that we didn't get to have a bar about bat mitzvah and we again we got made fun of people like stop trying to be Jewish we're like sorry sorry I want to be one of the fucking chosen ones you guys keep fucking bragging about it what did you wear to yours I didn't have a bat mitzvah I was raised completely without religion because in true Jewish form my dad didn't want to pay for Hebrew school so we were just it was a free-for-all at my house. I'm grateful.

Is that okay to say? Well. It made you a real. I, yeah, I'm not, I obviously am not religious, was raised without it. And I'm pretty glad I was raised without it. Yeah, you're a clean slate. Usually people add something to the clean slate. You've just kept it.

I'm ready to be accepted into a cult or something. Do you guys know that I'm 1% Ashkenazi? That is crazy. I mean, I guess it's a really low number. I'm assuming everyone is 1%. No. Can you imagine

a rabbi looking at this? This trash. Excommunication. Can we take a banana break? Oh my God, Kalaya, pull it out of your pussy. Is that BevMo? Bananas in a BevMo bag.

Ooh, is that liquor? Holy shit, you know I have not drank since 2019. Should I break my streak? For schnapps? No. Okay, that's true. You're right. Yeah, I'll just kegel it in. I'll kegel it in and see how long I can keep it up there. Yeah, let's do both.

Yeah, I haven't drank since 2000. Imagine I relapse on this. Imagine, Annie. This is the day. At Bobby's house. Would you guys be really annoyed if we went to Vegas and I had a couple drinks? No, I want you to fucking waste it. No, that would be so fun.

We'll get to molest you. It'll be so good. I don't fall apart, though. Like, I'm not a messy drunk at all. So cute. I'm going to smell this. I'm actually not. I don't want people to be scared I'm drinking. I always love it when the little liquors come in this tiny bottle. I know it's really cute right?

It reminds me of little Esther. It reminds me of like I feel like I'm a business traveler in the 90s Mm-hmm. Like I feel so- Oh my god it actually smells so good. I love fake banana smell This would have been something back in the day i would have really enjoyed oh that does smell good it smells like those little banana runs or like laffy taffy ones oh it smells very good it smells like perfume is this what alcohol is like it smells like um johnson's baby cologne oh my god esther are you gonna do your first no i'm not gonna do that you didn't even have manischewitz at any not no i No, I'm not doing that in my Miami club outfit. I used to get so wasted at fucking bar mitzvahs

and bat mitzvahs off of Manischewitz. I was so drunk. You know what's really sad, you guys, is that when I would go clubbing, I would have a banana in my purse. What do you mean? And did you say that? You're like, there's a banana in my purse, I'm not happy to see it. Well, no,

if I would get too drunk, because I told you, I'm like, I'm never a messy drunk, ever. If I feel as though I need to eat something carb heavy to offset my drunkenness, I'll have a banana and some carbs. I was like, I'll have some Jager to offset this drunkenness. I used to hook up with this guy at this bar called Willy's.

It was two bars down from the bar I worked at, The Cowgirl, in Santa Fe. And I would go, they had a Jager machine, he would give me pints of Jager. And then in between shifts, worked at the Cowgirl in Santa Fe. And they had a Jaeger machine. He would give me pints of Jaeger. And then in between shifts, we would bang each other in different bathrooms. I did a tour. Last time I went to Santa Fe, I was like, the bathroom banging tour. Jeremiah, what's up, dude?

How you doing? Every once in a while, he's like, it's so weird. My dick gets talked about on things. Have you ever been 86th from anywhere? What does that mean? Oh, like kicked out for acting old for acting 86 well because when I worked at Johnny Rockets we learned 86 it means like we're out of something oh really yeah like we're out of ketchup we're out of not that we ever ran out of ketchup but we would run out of things occasionally. No, I've never been kicked out of anywhere. I am traceably responsible for getting a group of women kicked off a plane.

What? Do tell. I didn't. Let's unpeel that banana, shall we? I was on a flight to Seattle with Dave and a bunch of his friends from Parks and Rec because we were going to a festival where they were doing like a writer's panel. And there was these really loud, drunk women. I was in the group. This is how I met Annie.

And they were just, they were so, they were bad. They were shouting. They were moving things around. And they were just being really rowdy. And I just went up to the flight attendant. And I was like, those girls are acting a little crazy. Like, could you just say, like, shh, you know, and sit them down? And then she's like, and she just looked at me. She's like, and then she went and she escorted them all off the flight.

And I was like, I. Had it started already, the flight? No. They, like, land the flight? They just let them had it started already the flight no they like land the flight they just know they we we were we hadn't taken off yet now did the parks and rec crew want you to do this were people pimping you out no they everyone was annoyed but then when they found dave of course was so embarrassed that it was traced back to me that i'm the reason they got he was so embarrassed but it must be i have to, that it was like the third complaint.

Because I do think on a flight you get like three strikes, right? Maybe they were a fan of yours and knew it would be a real problem if they didn't handle it. No, I don't think that. I mean, that's... What's going to happen when you get really famous? You're not going to be able to pull these moves anymore. I, first of all, thank you for thinking that that might happen. But I feel like we've peaked.

If that doesn't happen. On this show, we talk about pogs. We talk about, tonight we're talking about nightclubs. Let's talk about cereal, okay? Because growing up, cereal was one of the best parts of being a kid. You just sit on the couch in front of the TV. You eat cereal. You're not thinking about what's in it.

You don't care. But now you're an and you realize like all these cereals that you've grown to love are not that good for you they're so bad for you that's where magic spoon has come in to save the day i i love it it's like you know we all have spooned some unhealthy things in our lives let's spoon something healthy and also delicious what i like about magic spoon is that i'm actually you're getting in your protein yeah it's not something healthy and also delicious. What I like about Magic Spoon is that I'm actually, you're getting in your protein. Yeah. Which is not something that you could do with other cereal brands that are chock full of sugar and unhealthy things. Which, by the way, sorry, that means that it's filling.

Because I've had Magic Spoon for dinner several nights. And it's so easy. It's an affordable dinner. And it makes me feel full. Like I enjoy it and I feel good. Magic Spoon has zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and only four net grams of carbs in each serving. Only 140 calories a serving.

It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low-carb, and GMO-free. Let's talk about favorite flavors. Yes, go ahead. I'll go first. Fruity. Peanut butter. Frosted.. I'll go first. Fruity. Peanut butter. Frosted. Frosted.

Frosted. Fruity. Fruity for the win. You guys can try all four flavors of those four flavors in the variety pack, which includes cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter. Oh, and mixing the cocoa with the peanut butter tastes exactly like a peanut butter cup. Okay, that I will do. I will literally do that tonight.

Thank you. You guys can go to magicspoon.com slash bathgirls to grab a variety pack and try it today. And be sure to use our promo code bathgirls at checkout to save $5 off your first order. And Magic Spoon is so confident in their product. It's backed with a 100% happiness guarantee. So if you don't like it for any reason,

they will refund your money, no questions asked. Remember, get your next delicious bowl of guilt-free cereal at magicspoon.com slash bathgirls and use the code bathgirls to save $5 off. Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode. Wait a second. So you've never been 86, but you've gotten other people 86 from something. You're a rat. Yeah. Have never been 86 but you've 80 you've gotten other people 86 from something you're a rat yeah have you been 86 i've been 86 in fact you know what since we're on banana break let me call see my buddy matt if he'll um pick up because he's the only witness to that night of me getting 86 i used to get kicked out for i didn't get 86 for everybody used to get kicked out for

um getting in slap fights with my friend albert which i don't know if i talked about this before they'd be like stop slapping each other. We just wouldn't stop. Hey, dude, I have a question. So what was the bar that I got 86th from? Which one? I've been 86th by multiple. I have been.

I know you've been, but I think I went down on a girl on the bar we slept in the car flip the car oh we flipped the car I think that we flipped the car a couple days after how did you flip a car you were driving foul play I mean what do they expect at a bar like what kind of behavior did they expect from me with a name like that you thought it was called foreplay i'm sorry i thought i was supposed to eat her out okay bye who is that and what did he just say he is the most successful real estate agent in vegas he if you ever want a house in Vegas, Matt Suter is the guy to call.

But when we were younger, oh my God, we got into so much trouble in Vegas. Flipping a car is so cool. Because he was born and raised there. So like I, we flipped cars. We've got into, we've been arrested. Wait, he went from flipping cars to flipping houses? That's amazing.

Wow. But he's the best. Flipping a car is so funny. I like that you guys were like, like raging off of getting kicked out of a club. You just fucking had the strength to just flip a car. Well, no,

that's not how we got into a car accident and the car flipped. Oh, I thought you just like all hoisted a car over like a group of you. No, we would do things like steal artwork from like the bath, the bar bathroom. If there was like a Heineken sign, we would like pluck it out

we were just the worst people okay the um the old english is that what it's called yes oh my god i said i got kicked out of there and i stole the i was staying with my friends i was driving my ex-boyfriend's fiancee at the time out here to live with him weird um i'm always staying with them i actually just re-befriended her on uh instagram she used to be such a cunt and i was like why am i mad at her for being a cunt that's cool it's fun to be a cunt but anyway so she so we went we all went out to drink and everyone like left before me they lived like right down the street and i dragged the like two for one beer sign the giant like heineken sign i like dragged it to their house and everyone was like get this why the fuck did you we love this bar this is our favorite bar

you stole from them i was like so i had to in the morning drag it back over it's so embarrassing oh my god the rustic end you're rustic yes but nobody was with me and thought this was cool i thought i was like that was my that was my watering hole and thought this was cool. I thought I was like, isn't this cool? That was my watering hole. And apparently it was Bobby's too when he used to be a drunk. What do you mean? It's like this small little place in Los Feliz. And it's just a hole in the wall. But for some reason, I got into so much trouble there.

One time, my friend said that I ran my fingers. I got so drunk. I ran my fingers through the crispy hair of the ugliest guy in the bar. And I tried to be really seductive about it i was like come here and i was like like this and all like the gel flakes started like coming off his head and apparently i made out with him but how many months did you date him for three years she lives in his house now um but you know vince vaughn would go there like weird it was like the weirdest group of people

you just see a fucking 21 year old in this outfit just dragging that place does attract movie stars like I remember seeing in articles like Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson were there did you ever park outside and wait no I've never been there I just bars in LA are so grimy to me it is grimy but it's cool grimy. We'll take you there. You're not wrong about that. Why is there such a thing as cool grimy? I don't know.

It's like rock starry. It's like where it's like River Phoenix could overdose here. This is cool. If it doesn't smell like piss, it's not the place to be. Well, I used to always make out with. It's not our living room. I used to always make out with, I always thought it was funny to like make out with guys in the grossest places. So I would always make out with guys in in um you know the bathroom and then

there was this one guy there were these two tattoo artists the Haynes brothers that lived in Santa Fe and I hooked up with the younger one who did look like Ryan Gosling I will give myself that um and I would like make out with him and I was like do you want to go make out in the pee wall outside and we would like go make out by the dumpster and then I would like black out and end up at their house like fully clothed on their couch and I would just they'd be gone at work and I'd be like oh my god I wrote them all these notes like thank you for not date raping me they like loved me because I wrote those notes guys this is so sweet like oh my god you had the tattoos of someone that would have done this to me do you realize Annie like we barely made it out alive I

was about to start carrying my own rape kit around with me i was like this is really wild what i'm getting into i hope to god that if i have children that they are not like me yeah that esther you if i have a child like you i think i'd be it'd be a blessing from god because the amount of worry that my parents probably had over me because i was just so out of control i feel like esther's parents are worried about her too they i had my phase I mean I had my phases but what was your what was your like bad girl phase what did you do I just would fight I was like a big fighter a drama queen like wait fight other girls no like with my parents like did did you guys also junior high age like 13 just like hate the world and like fight with your parents all the time that was I like that really rough phase did Did you guys have that? Yes.

Did you guys see that Bachelor episode when they went skydiving, and the girl, Rachel Kirkkenell, landed on her face? I'm still going to go. Wait, what? This was a couple weeks ago, this episode aired, but it was really kind of scary,

but I couldn't stop laughing. They went on a skydiving date, The Bachelor and one of the contestants. And Esther, if you watched it, I feel like you would. It's so frightening. Like they land so hard on the ground. Like it was, I think. She like bounced, I swear to God. How did she not get hurt?

She did. She got scraped up. And then she was like, it was her like time to meet, for him to meet her up and then she was like it was her like time to meet for him to meet her parents and she was like talking to her mom and she was like you know i think i really love him because like something happened you know honestly mom something really scary happened earlier um we were skydiving and her mom goes oh and she goes yeah no it's worse than just oh like she's like there's a lot of makeup on me like it was like she almost died like we almost watched her fucking how did she not die and why did that happen because they went skydiving and i guess the the guy who was in

tandem like behind her controlling the shoot it was like windy or something it was windy a gust of wind took them and they listen i'm going on the 10th still i don't care you're going on the what may 10th i'm going skydiving and with my friend on her dad's death day i have no interest in skydiving i've done it once and it wasn't scary enough and now i think i like living so i think it's going to be scary go alone yeah without wait just one shoot well i was always I have no interest in skydiving. I've done it once and it wasn't scary enough. And now I think I like living. So I think it's going to be scary. Just go alone. Yeah, without that guy. With just one shoot.

Well, I was always saying I want to go to a place that has one star and then go up and then have the guy be like, there's two parachutes, one works. Like, pick. Wait, there's a guy who has a vice show where he goes to establishments that are the worst rated establishment. Like nail salons tattoo artists like wax places and he just rolls the dice and see if he gets fucked up along the way that's a pretty good idea we should do that wait annie what was skydiving like i i honestly thought it was boring but i will tell you that because i was i had been waiting my whole life for this experience like i had wanted to go forever my brother my twin brother and I were supposed to go my mom was going to pay for it for our 18th

birthday and then she conveniently forgot she offered it and we were like there's two of us bitch we both remember um but so we never also I love you mommy um but so we didn't go and then he ended up having kids and didn't want to skydive anymore and I was like I still want to go and so my friend um Erin Lennox who's hilarious you should follow her um she used to go with her dad all the time and her dad um passed away so she now goes on his like death day and i think for me i i just put so much into it and i was and because i was with the other person the other person's like strapped to you or you're strapped to them they jumped you know like i kind of wanted that moment with myself where i had to get real with myself where i was like all right bitch like

step you know he jumped for you like i stepped on the ledge i did slip a little though and then he jumped and it was like wait he jumped was he behind you or yeah they're like attached behind you well no he was facing me 69 style i was blowing him um it was for a shoot it's weird are you butt to butt no his his boner is? No, his boner is in my ass. His boner is in my ass. Wait, why would it be butt to butt backwards, Esther? She's really confused about what ass to ass is still. I just wanna know when he's jumping, where are you?

Well, I'm attached to him. We're jumping together. He's like piggybacked on her. So I'm on the plane and we can hear it. So you're back to back. No, it's his front to her back. And we're just what, spidering out? And so where are your legs when he's...

Let's do it. My legs are in front of his. Let's do it. Okay. It's like this here. And then like you're down like this. I have gas. You do not want to...

No, come on. Show me. That was it. I want to feel what it's like when he jumps. He just pushes you and then you're jumped. But you're attached. But like I had to step out on the ledge. So that was cool to like... So you're standing on the ledge of a plane and then you're oh you're attached but like i had to step out on the ledge so that

was cool so you're standing on the ledge of a plane and then you just feel right but i kind of my leg slipped and you are nervous but it's like i wanted like that moment to like be like yeah you know but he did it and and it was fine but i was so preoccupied because i really wanted a picture of me doing the eat out symbol while i was flying uh skydiving so i was so occupied with that and then he like tapped me for So I was so occupied with that. And then he like tapped me for that. I was more worried about that than pulling the fucking cord, honestly.

Oh my God, how? And I got it and it gave me the worst, honestly, it was the worst camel toe of my life. I mean, my camel toe had a heartbeat. It was wild. I was like floating down his boners in my ass. And it's like, the reason it wasn't scary is because they just do it like 10 times a day.

So I was like, I'm not gonna, he's not gonna die. Well, let me tell you, after the Bachelorette episode or the bachelor Well, I went on a hot air balloon ride in in Albuquerque with my friend who fingered me who had the short way slow down Let's stay on skydiving But I'm gonna tell you but we landed on that we've graduated us out like you can't control as much as they do it Like you can't control the landing as much as they try. The landing is sometimes rough. So, like, the bucket of the hot air balloon ride, like, we came down and it hit.

And then the guy goes, brace yourself. And then we shot out. And my friend was just like, does not touch guys. The guy lands on top of her body. It was so funny. Wait, did you guys roll out of the basket? Oh, we got shot. We got catapulted out of the basket.

Did you feel a high from it? I did feel kind of crazy after, like, later that night. But I also take an Adderall. That's how I feel when I get on Guardians of Galaxy at Disneyland. Or California Adventure. High? Not high. Is it a scary one?

I don't know what that one is. It's the Tower of Terror. It's the old one. So I really hate heights, but I can't not go because Bobby's like, don't be a bitch. Don't be a pussy. So I have to go. But I do feel very triumphant and like I can do anything. Yeah, that is.

It's like it gives you your life. Like it makes you feel like you have your life. I just got a glimpse into what it's like to date Bobby. It's horrible. It's more than a ride. For eight years, it's like, are we going to magic mountain today are we going worse than that is him making you do stand up if you don't want to do stand up having to stand up he forced do you know that when i first started dating bobby he said that i had to absolutely go

to open mics why sorry there's a hair in my mouth now i I know what it was. Now I know it was just for him to understand, for me to understand how hard his job was. It was no reason besides that. But I did. I went to open mics for like a whole month. Do you have a joke? Did Bobby write the jokes for you? Did you write them?

No, I wrote all his Chelsea Lately jokes. So I can write. I just can't deliver. I'm so mad I didn't know you during the Chelsea. I would have been like, can you write me jokes too? I would be going, I'm like, my Asian mom. I just, I have no, I zero stage presence. Do you remember any of your jokes?

Social, fear of everything. What was it? Yeah, I had a lot of like Filipino cultural based stuff. Which was basic, it's very joke-way-ish. You're a ho-coy. Annie, I would walk out of there pale, really defeated. It's so upsetting to do.

And he would pick me up. He's like, how was it? I'm like, the worst thing ever. Like, we don't even want to do it when we do it. Esther, Esther, I would go up there with my notebook and just like read off the page. Why was he making you do that? That's so creepy.

Well, you know how Bobby likes to do those little moves, see what you'll do. Yeah. And at that time, I was just so in love. I'm like, I think that he wants the best for me. Let me just try this. It probably did help you, though, in the long term, right? More like, you know, whenever you face a fear.

Well, it helped me in knowing for damn sure that I will never do stand-up and that I have so much respect for you guys because I just can't do it. Oh, my God. By the way, Todd told me. You're the only one who has respect for the two women sitting next to you. By the way, so Todd told me that he had like done some open mics before we dated, but he didn't like it or whatever. I mean, he really sold it like he did too.

Last night we went to a show at the Ha Ha that I was doing and everyone came up to me like, hey, Todd, you doing a spot tonight? You going up? And I was like, did you fucking lie to me? Are you a fucking ex open mic? Would that turn you off? I don't like that. Um, okay.

Would that turn you, would you ever date, um, I know you've dated comics, but have you dated, like, would you ever have dated an open mic-er? I will never date a comedian again. Yeah, I don't ever want to date a comedian again. Well, I'm also engaged, but I, comedians, it's just. It's disgusting. Male comedians are disgusting. It's bad. No offense.

No, no, no no i say that to bobby all the time i'm off to fucking temecula but imagine if you were doing stand-up all the time too it's it's there's something about two stand-ups together it's it's a really weird like it was fun in the past i dated a bunch of comedians but it's like i just now i'm like i just i don't want you need a separation of powers I think yeah and the personality that you need to have to think that you should get on stage and tell it like it is is vile and I just don't want and only one person in the relationship would be that vile I will say that it's also annoying when you're a girl dating a male comic they're always like oh they're writing your jokes and I'm like my last two ex-boyfriends their biggest laughs are all fucking jokes i wrote so go

fucking suck a dick i know i hate that shit i know a male comic who has completely stolen your cadence what who's mine who was it it's for one of his sketches but oh it's my ex yes yes it's something i just noticed i was like wait a second when i hear it we did we dabbled we talked I hate that like sometimes I'll I'll see like comments she doesn't write her own stuff and I'm like if I had someone else to write my material I would have material I'd be so much better at this yeah I would like I would have so many specials if someone's writing my fucking jokes I did about 14 minutes of stand-up in my special because that's all I could write that's why it was called it was a special wow that that was special no you guys should watch her special Tom Paramount instead of instead of banana breaks we do uh Esther plugged breaks hot for my name hot for my name Esther Bavitsky you can also get a can you still get your coffee at Dayglo? No, no. I'm working on a new one.

Esther secretly will get her own drink at coffee shops. It's pretty cool. Esther, I have a question for you. Since clubs are not your thing. I didn't get dressed up in my Cuban male Miami nightclub costume to not have a pog contest. Oh, that's true. You're correct. You look like a pog salesman

you're like selling them on this alleyway it it's been two weeks i'm fucking ready i want to i want to have a i want to play with pog okay hang on we have to establish some rules okay um in because there has to be a winner there has to be a loser and the loser we don't we don't we don't do anything for winners on this show right winners get nothing I tried to sneak that in yeah why do we have to punish the loser why do you think I'm gonna lose that's so sad reward the winner because that's not funny that's unfunny okay so what are you think you're gonna lose that's so sad believe in yourself where what are the stakes oh my god your little hands you can't even hold them the pogs. Where do we get these? Are these new?

Are you titty fucking these pogs? Esther. OnlyFans. Okay, so what are the rules? What are the stakes? I need to know what I'm winning. Oh, no, I'm not winning anything. I need to know.

The winning is being here, guys. I have absolutely no idea, so I'm going to make this. We're going to go through the whole pog. So whoever gets the least amount of pogs gets a henna dick on their face. Yeah, do you want them flipped? Or what is it? Are we supposed to have a... Ooh, there's a Beavis and Butthead pog.

There's a lion... Where did you guys get these, Jungle? Esther, we should be Beavis and Butthead for Halloween. Is this what you do? No, no, no. You hit it on the corner like this. So put them on a stack can i i'm gonna bring my mic yeah come over here do you really know how to do this yeah okay please blur my nipples out

i think the nipple hair got it don't worry or this is how we played it in the philippines case so if this is not how americans kid did it um okay so so these are the this is the white end you know they're flipped when the white thing flips this way and that's what you want you want the white thing to be yeah or no you want to get it the picture up yes you want to get i don't want any touching my pogs oh i'll touch your you want me to touch your bones okay so for example it's this stack right yeah and this is oh this is a really heavy but don't you have to make them all even how do we know that it's the right well here you're gonna hit them on the side here and i flip the whole deck so these are all mine okay this is cool

i never thought i'd be in this fashion nova playing pogs but here i am so that's how you do it so all of these are mine then, if I flip them all. Annie, do you understand the rules? I understand the rules. Do we understand that whoever loses gets a henna dick on their face? Uh-oh. I really don't want to have a henna dick on my face for my niece's bat mitzvah. Oh, my God.

We've got to do it right away. It's in two days. The rules are. I'd prefer not to have a henna dick if you go to boston with a henna dick esther let's see what i will never and annie can do for you here let's see if subconsciously my body will fail for you okay here we go guys we're gonna i'm gonna try my hardest but i believe in you esther such an only fan. Here we go. Three, two, one.

Esther gets zero. Annie, it's your turn. Do they stay the same? She doesn't get anything for them, like, falling over. Okay, so she gets zero pogs. Okay, then we restack them. I don't want to see what happens when she loses. Okay, hit the side, Annie.

These are not straight. Yeah, yep. Okay. You gotta let go of the pog. You gotta let go of the pog. No, I let go of the pog. Yeah, so you do this. Oh, I didn't know that. Redo. Deal over. Oop, Annie

got some. She got one, two, three, four. She got four pogs who i'm impressed by my pog moves i was scared here we go esther's second attempt three two one it's a tie better it's you lose i oh my god she's getting the dick We both got four you lost I'll get a henna dick too though Since it's their first time playing pogs apparently And I'm a well seasoned vet I will take the L

And I will get the henna dick How about that I'll obviously get one too But Esther will get like a flower We're all gonna get one You're not allowed to get something cute If we get the dicks you get no henna at all. Astor, get a vagina to come out.

That's what's coming out. Okay, so we have decided that Kalilah lost the pod contest. Yeah. I didn't really, though. You did. I didn't really. Check the tapes. Check the tapes.

Kalilah will be receiving a penis henna tattoo, probably on her face. We're not going to do it this week, but tune in next week to see the administration of the penis henna tattoo. It's been a dream of mine to get a henna dick tattoo too, so I may do one in solidarity and codependency. I think we should have Todd come in and paint it

because Todd is actually a very good dick artist. Yeah, gladly. I'll gladly receive Todd's another smashing success another slammer of a show from your three pogs you know what pog means in Hawaii what it's it's pog juice isn't it like orange guava is it passion fruit or papaya that sounds so the pea is it good gabby you've been to hawaii with me i want to eat some poi i want to drip out of my mouth oh i love poi it's like purple cum poi it's like a root what is it is it a root taro i just want pineapple we'll get you pineapple when we go to hawaii well thank you so much everybody for listening this has been bloodbath make sure that you like this video comment subscribe we really want to show that

we're the bloodbath princesses of the world of the world um any announcements I just was gonna say like maybe people could comment some other themes they might want to see from us I have one suggestion since I'm the only one that came in full this i want to do a full fashion nova oh yeah i would love to wear fashion episode okay yes and it's not up to interpretation i get we get to choose each other oh i like that okay esther's gonna look hot okay there is a male fashion nova don't worry. You guys, I'm coming to Phoenix. I'm doing standup in Phoenix. We'll see what happens April 29th. Get tickets at standuplive.com. I have a clothing line sleepover by Esther.com.

And these masks are hilarious. Please buy one of my eat me out masks. They're called eat it or beat it. You can find them on my Instagram. Please follow my Instagram and it's they're called eat it or beat it you can find them on my instagram please follow my instagram and it's in the link tree also um in the next i want to say two months we'll probably come out with our own merch yes so look out for that and um make sure you support our sponsors too so that they know that we're the prettiest girls in all of the land the bloodiest prettiest girls thanks guys, guys.

Bye, guys. See you next week.