Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Victoria's Secret's Secret

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Tickets to Trash Tuesday Livestream! https://www.momenthouse.com/trashtuesday  Thank you to our Sponsors:   Betterhelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday  Truebill - Cancel unwanted subscriptions with just a tap at https://truebill.com/trashtuesday  Manscaped - Get 20% off + free shipping at http://www.manscaped.com with the code TRASH  Liquid Death - Get free shipping on all water and merch at https://liquiddeath.com/trash Trash Tuesday Merch: http://slugfam.com  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491  Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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right yeah 6 p.m pacific moment house um.com slash trash tuesday let's go. Let's burn. Oh, hey, Annie. Hey, girl. So we do stand up comedy and we get to meet our slugs and it's so much fun. It's been more fun than you can imagine. It's like you're officially in the slug club when we do this meet and greet. It's life affirming. This weekend, this very weekend, I'm returning to the Midwest. I'm so excited. I'm going to be in Indianapolis. Please come out. And after that, Philly, San Diego, Austin, Brooklyn, DC, Chicago. Get tickets at EstherOnIce.com.

And Annie, what's going on with you? Well, guys, I'm going to be in Vegas this weekend. I freak out. That's going to be epic. It's going to be so fun. I can't wait. Then I'll be in San Francisco, Syracuse, New York, Florida, Burbank, California then i'll be in san francisco syracuse new york florida burbank california that'll be fun um austin texas arizona michigan i have a million dates go to my website annieletterman.com

slash shows and we of course want you to watch todd's show on netflix making fun and why not watch doll face if you haven't watched doll face yet go binge it it will go by like that and you will have so much fun okay i'll do it if you guys do it if you have so you have you guys if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast let me explain it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from

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What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? So what was in the car? My lipstick. Oh. But I have a present for you guys. My present came in for you. Really?

I just want you to know I'm always thinking about you. Okay? When something, when I see anything, I snatch it. Okay? So these are, I think maybe we should wear these on the live. What? Is that Skims? Skims bag. Okay, who wants to open it?

Me! Wait, do you guys, this is very awkward. There's three matches because we should match. Obviously. This is going to be awkward for a moment, but do you guys know that today is my birthday? No. Has it been a year since your quinceanera?

I'm still getting over the trauma of your last birthday. Today is my birthday. Where's your wheelchair? We need to get her the wheelchair that we had to CGI out. I don't know if this is the worst producing or the best producing ever, but you guys not knowing that today is my birthday episode is amazing.

Does it make you feel good? Kind of. I feel like I... We've moved on from friendship into like true companionship in a job. What does that mean? A true...

It's not like the scariness of like needy friends. Right. It's like a... A real loving... It's like lovers. No, no, no. We're 10 years into

a companionate relationship where it's like, you know no we're 10 years into a companionate relationship where it's like you know what i don't even know when we got together when our anniversary is but it's sort of somewhere sometime in february every day feels like our birthday or our anniversary i sort of think it's that but more so i know that i have the personality of someone who would be obsessed with their birthday but i truly am not and i don't care like i doesn't that sound like someone who's lying about not caring i don't care it looks like she was saying it in the mirror just say you mean to say we threw you that quinceanera last year for nothing yes no that was the funniest part she didn't give a fucking shit that was for you guys she didn't care we

have to do we're doing an esther episode birthday episode again but you look you manifested you gave you're giving me a gift because i'm a codependent i get presents for people all day so i don't need a birthday in this relationship every day maybe we should have you wear all three annie you know we have to get a tattoo of her name like today i have no tattoos and if you think the first tattoo is going to be asked you're fucking crazy that's where you're wrong oh my god i'm so excited i was crying when i saw these don't read what it is don't okay just open it okay because there's two each person gets two pieces okay oh my god should i actually there's one i want you to open first so the bigger the bigger

piece i want you to open first i want you to open this one first okay there's a medium for me and two smalls for you guys feliz cumpleaños a ti oh so this is my birthday present this is the graduate shorts and then I thought because that's just crude that you guys could have I wanted you to be covered up so I got you these really nice Kim Kardashian West or not west because she's divorced today but you nailed it these are the women of today what are they for who are they

these are that tiny this is for us yeah we saw it last week my legs would absolutely fly out of those there's no part to hold them. Yeah, I don't even think. Like this does have the tag on it. I don't know. Is this supposed to be the back? This is what happened. Remember my Christmas outfit was like a splitter. Should I?

Yes. Okay. I really am the birthday girl, huh? Happy birthday, Esther. The real birthday present is you giving one of these to Kalilah. And then you giving her one? This is so... Like, what did she make these for?

I feel so uncomfortable right now. Who are they for? This is so sexual. This is the opposite of a... Wait, do you wear that under or over? You wear it under? I guess I should put this under. Yeah.

But it's okay. it's the same fucking thing oh my god we all have matching ones i don't know what size those are should i on? Yeah, maybe we'll put them on all of us. Okay, I'll keep them on. Wow, Annie. This is medium. These are mine. Where are mine? They're Colleen.

Come on. Colleen. This is a medium one. Wow. This bitch up to making these outfits. This is so good. What are they for? It's like bitch

you have a surrogate why are you trying to get people pregnant well don't you kind of feel like skims is replacing the hole that was left in our hearts when victoria's secret kind of died out um yeah but victoria's secret was more is more. Like, do you see my turquoise wear? That's Victoria's Secret. You know what I mean? It's like a little cheesy. It's definitely from the mall. Yeah, damn.

I just realized that the worst insult you can give someone is to compare them to turquoise jewelry. Wait, is Victoria's Secret choogy? It must be. It's got a bounce back. No, it's so. Well, they kind of were canceled because they were basically the founders it must be it's gonna bounce back I no it's so well they're they kind of were cancelled

because like they were basically the founders of making us all anorexic and fucking us up they swung the other way and now they have a model with Down syndrome yeah but are we gonna

forget what they did to us for the last 20 years they're really I mean that's a hard swing they're like we're putting special needs people in and they're like

oh yeah yeah wait a second it's like that's not who swing. They're like, we're putting special needs people in. You're like, oh, yeah. Wait a second. It's like, that's not who you guys are. She's also very skinny. She's hot. She's beautiful. But I just don't like how they have to announce it so explicitly. Just put it on there without having to congratulate yourself.

How about that? No, I know. That's I totally agree. What world are these for? Like, what are these for? They're for this podcast? They're for... This podcast? They're for getting fucked instantly.

But what is this? But I can understand the underwear that barely covers... Like, that is pretty hot. Wait, hang on. It's, you know what? With the microthong, yes, I know the name of the product. Were you always wanting one, but like scared to get one? I thought maybe you'd bust out of it, I know the name of the product. Were you always wanting one but scared to get one? I thought maybe you'd bust out of it.

I actually have the worst news ever. I already have the Microthong. In that color? Yes, but I haven't worn it because it doesn't fit. I was thinking about getting different colors. No, I love this. I was like, maybe someone will wear this for real. You know what's really good about this?

I was like, maybe someone will wear this for real. You know what's really good about this is that if gravity has sort of dropped your ass just ever so slightly, this brings it back up. Look. Show us. Because of this part. Prove it. And if God bore you with a dropped vagina. Oh, my God. Look at her ass.

Okay, that is hot as fuck. But it brings it back up because this is not how my ass usually sits. Are you having a flashback of that picture? I was talking about it. I is not how my ass usually sits i was talking about it i told dave about it i was talking about it i think carlos and i talked about it again i honestly think that we should get an only fans and that's the only picture we post on the only fans just to come on my back but people but but you have to you have to be an only fans member for two years before we release. We need to know your loyalty. You don't get to just have it. I don't even know whose nut that was.

I mean, that is... That's how long... I don't know whose nut that was. Knowing your history and what I saw, I think it's whose nuts those are

because that came from all directions. That was a communal load. That was a certified gangbang. That was a gangbang nut, right? Oh my God. I'm neverbang that was a gangbang nut right oh my god i'm never gonna have a gangbang again that's okay again well i never i had like some multiple multiple enjoyments am i the only like am i the prudest person in the world because you guys have

dated multiple people you've had a threesome with one of our mutual friends now you're telling me you've been gangbanging here let me tell you wait no let me tell you what was the exaggeration let me tell you what jack johnson a singer-songwriter, once said. Was he coming on your back? He certainly was, as he was skiing on my back. Who can talk while they ski? He said, don't let your dreams be dreams, Esther. So if a gangbang is what you want, a gangbang is what you're going to have to get.

I think the audience is going, that's our dream. Wait, can we go back to victoria secret for a second because you know that they have like a it's like a scary past that carl's will you look this up the victoria secret original founder do you guys know this story that he sold the company for like x amount of money and then it became way bigger and he killed himself yeah it was in the social network yeah and it's and it's the same thing that kate with kate himself with a thong roy raymond did kate spade sell early on yes and then it became way bigger and then she ended up like killing herself it's it this is

like a thing what happened to the founder of victoria's secret uh ended his life by jumping off the golden gate bridge yeah because, because it's really weird. Like people who sell their companies and then they become more successful, like it doesn't, they can't handle it. I just believe lightning can strike twice. And I do think if you can have an idea that's so good, I do think you can have another one.

I agree. I just like hate that people, because your brain, even though these people took it and maybe marketed it differently and that's what sold it, learn from what they did differently from you and apply that to your next but there are people that are just really magical idea churners yeah there are people that can just

like roll it out every day and um you know you're right i think that maybe he underestimated his own you know potential for that because like how big did it get and the name victoria's secret you know, potential for that because like how big did it get? And the name Victoria's Secret, initially, like think about it. It is the cheesiest name. Yeah. Whoa. But so catchy.

Yeah. But I agree with your point. Like whenever I hear someone that's like, oh, I fucked this thing up. But I always try to tell them like you're a renewable resource. Like you will have another idea. You will have, you know, another whatever. Are you like peeling their underwear down while you're a renewable resource like you will have another idea you will have you know another whatever are you like peeling their underwear down while you're saying like oh are you sad let me tell you something yeah let me build you up um but yeah i i don't know i'm always fascinated by like those kind of business things and also victoria's secret like i wonder if it

was just ill-fated from the start like i just can't believe it's your birthday yeah maybe who knows but it is cheesy you're right it's like that guy had like the cheesiest yeah it's it's like a white guy who was like victorious yeah what the hell were you that wasn't for you yeah imagine calling something annie's secret that's i've never had a secret in my life. If I have a secret, no one told me. I can't believe. So I came in and just in Western wear for fun. Didn't tell anyone. And then this was sitting next to me.

You guys are really starting to tap in. There you go. I'm telling you, I let go of attachments and now I'm a higher being. And now there's a fire. And now we're psychically. Oh, it's your birthday? These are fast fashion clothes. So they are highly flammable are you um is this did you think like this my birthday is my birthday outfit they're gonna have so much

stuff no i want to dress like carlos asked me that too no i'm just trying to up my game and like be a normal girl who buys normal girl clothes you know where i think you can really draw real inspiration from if you look at ajummas like old korean ajummas like grandmas they're the pioneers of power clashing i think that what you're striving for is ultimately what the ajumma fashion is korean grandmothers yes korean grandmothers emphasis on the grandmother i'm aware it's like a mix of like street wear comfort but also big fashion like high fashion we should give esther pre-perioded in pants too what do you mean just so the period stain's already there so you don't have to like worry about it or don't feel bad

about it yeah yeah is that a trash tank idea we sell our has period stains. We should maybe have already sweaty armpits. Annie, will you please touch my armpits right now? Should we, let's draw wetness under the armpits. That is genius. That's cool. On gray shirts. Yes. I want blood spots on the lower butt.

Oh, she likes blood now. How far we've come. Remember when you were scared of it? Is that where you usually- Get the stain? Yeah. Wow, that far back. It's usually really low, like down here. Ooh, show us again. Show us where it is that where you usually get the stain yeah wow that far back it's usually really low like down here oh show us again show us where it is i'll never stop showing look how flexible

she is we could really bend her around oh you might get your birthday bang your birthday's gonna end with a gang bang all right i have cupcakes for esther and the gang this is the game is this from sprinkles yeah vegan and you can light it with your gun lighter too this is so exciting yeah well the flame's

gotta come out there you go there you go it's like a torch I love this gun thank you oh there's another one I don't know why

I thought there'd be one thank you strawberry oh I'm strawberry it's nice to know what you guys think of us lucky what did you get no I'm just the vegan's nice to know what you guys think of us. Lucky. What did you get?

No, I'm just the vegan. It's so fake. You should put an F for fake vegan. I could put meat in your mouth right now. I could fucking put anything in your mouth right now. I wonder if we make Kalilah's vaginal crust jerky, would that be considered vegan? It would be like bonito flakes on top of

sushi have you ever seen that fish flakes it just yeah it's just um discharge flakes this actually looks like my discharge right that's so funny you come in and get the oh my god kalilah eat it bitch i know what you're about to do wait are we you wait we came up with an annie no listen you're not attached i'm not attached. I'm not attached. You're supposed, this was the deal that we made. I see how far you're first. You're supposed to wait to see how much I eat. Okay, right.

And then you follow. Okay. Because once you go for it, then you're going to be mad at me. I'm trying to control you. I'm trying to control you. Wait, talk to me like that. I like that. No, you get yelled at or loved.

You don't get any in between. Tell me the little baby directions. You're a sweetie pie. You get either reprim yelled at or loved. You don't get any in between. Tell me the little baby sweetie pie. You get either reprimanded or encouraged. No, but the way she just talked to you was like talking to a dog. I liked it. It was like, no, you learned. What?

That's why you like it. You're the OG puppy girl. Have you guys heard of puppy girls? She's fucking, what's the name? Jake. Yes. Jacob. Now it's a trend.

Oh, excuse me. I thought we were on Jake terms. Esther, two different names. We are not that close. Oh, no. Esther, you've been a trendsetter since the age of eight. Really? Jacob the dog is now a thing adults do.

Is that really true? What do you mean? Can you pull it up, Carlos? Puppy girls. There we are. No, not Jacob the dog. Just puppy girls. I'm watching Kalilah. I'm just watching Kalilah slowly peel it and hoping that so she can actually take a bite

and not to kind of distract herself oh you're so mentally ill from under some icing okay banana flavor is so mature of you okay we can get rid of the cupcakes too if we need like discipline help with not eating oh my god no i feel good about this is the only reason esther i'm okay about oh yeah having some of the cupcake all right annie you're done actually i do have gum if you guys have any cravings for the rest i do have this goop sweet kick gum that'll get rid of your craving yeah from gwyneth from gwyneth's vagina it better taste like her pussy wait so this is the gum that makes sweet things taste bad annie you're the

guinea pig i knew there were some trick this is so unhealthy you guys they're trying to be slick listen they're trying to be what is it's that's the equivalent of like chewing something and spitting it out without swallowing goop sells this yeah 20 for a bunch wait a second i thought this was like a prank thing not like a try to help you that's such a disorderly thing i know it is that's okay we're just exploring carlos you're really bad carlos lives on can i just tell you something carlos lives off of those sushi the seaweed the seaweed paper. Yeah, from Trader Joe's.

That's what Carlos eats. So we have a real manorexic in the crew. Listen, eating disorders exist. We're exploring. Wait, they're not gum. You bit into it so hard, did you lose a tooth? There's directions on the back no no there aren't and you're the direction reader that is your official title what does the box say

your tooth okay i heard that it's okay i don't know if i'm sucking on the thing or the tooth pop a mint step one pop a mint when sugar cravings strike. Step two. Let it fully dissolve. Step three. Dissolve. Beat Carlos to death. Block sweetness to help control your sugar cravings, Annie. This is psychotic.

I'm so excited about it. Give me one. This is the coolest thing I've ever done. Wait, but do we know how long it lasts? You can't eat it after you've already had sugar. No, no. I'm going to take another bite afterwards. Just one. I don't know what to do because how long does it last i don't i don't think it lasts that long because there's so many i'm like why would they give you a million if

that's my answer what's your worst case scenario also he's never gonna have the right answer he's just gonna answer you the thing with carlos is he just does will say a thing no this is a thing that men do and it drives me crazy it's like we're talking about carlos it's a guesstimate no do you guys notice that men do this they will not say they don't know something and they give a lot they lie because they're scared to say i don't know what is this thing made of what are the active ingredients you could could just suck on stevia. It's like Botox or something. It's doing something. No, because monk fruit is like,

or even caffeine is an appetite suppressant. No, it makes it taste bad. This is going to change your taste buds. Oh. I'm really excited about this. Carlos, what's in it? Hold up. I'm looking it up.

Instead of lying? Do you see how he even said hold up? He always answers you it's not good you could just get COVID wait what's not good the way I answer her

because you just you give answers there's no thought you just silence her careful oh my god I'm being silenced

at home you're being silenced by a scary man a scary big strong man that eats seaweed it suppresses the taste of sweetness this is the type of stuff we should 100% be doing on here.

This is crazy. I know. I don't co-sign this. I'm going to try it, and then I'll see if I co-sign it. But also, I think we can just decide. All right, the other stuff, thiamine, zinc, chromium, all that stuff is just like, you know. Is it out of your mouth? Is it done?

It's still there. She's still sucking on her tooth mental health is the most important thing and we have a really good conversation about mental health on today's show like and getting better yeah working on yourself but you have to you need i would say 99 of the time you need the assistant of someone that knows what is going on in your psyche yeah you can't do it alone right someone who's unbiased someone who isn't your friend or family member because you know it can be heavy on them too so what better way to sound off to that felt like a personal attack kalilah stopped let's just say kalilah stopped receiving my facetimes a little while ago what we're saying is we want you to check out betterhelp.com slash trash tuesday because

better help is a better way to get therapy you do it at home on you know just digitally and they can't hang up on you like some people can. It is so convenient. You can start talking to a therapist in under 48 hours. They have a really cool journal feature that I love where if I'm not seeing my therapist for another six days and if I'm feeling my feelings extra hard that day, then I can just jot them down and then bring it up when I see her. I think the most important factor for me is that like you do it from home. You don't have to drive somewhere. You don't have to find parking. You don't have to sit in the waiting room next to Annie, you do it at home. That's how codependent I am. I turn even her therapy sessions into couple

therapy. It's affordable. It's more affordable than traditional offline therapy. And you need to do this. Like you need to get help. In fact, you don't even need to see them face to face if you don't want to. When I'm having extra difficult days where I'm in the dark and I cannot crawl out of my bed to pick up my computer, I just talk on the phone. And it's that simple. It's that convenient. Sometimes I can't. I'm so self-aware that while I'm in the therapy session, I'm like, the therapist can tell

that I'm only looking at my own screen, right? like fixing my hair I'm like oh no they can tell you guys we want you to start living a happier life today and as a listener you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday join over 1 million people who've taken charge of their mental health, including us. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. And I can promise you this show would not survive if we weren't all working on our mental health consistently. Listen, guys, you know, I like to spend money, but I there are certain areas in my life where I did not know I was leaking cash. I i mean bleeding cash out of my body now dripping and true bill thank you so much i needed that rude awakening i i'm saving so much money now look i didn't know that

i was subscribed to an anime streaming site for four straight years i could have guessed i do love anime no way it wasn't even me who subscribed. I remember just wanting, like wanting my niece was like, oh, I want to watch Demon Slayer. And I was like, yeah, sure. You know. Esther, with a hard enough stroke, everything can be pornography. You got to focus. And then four years after, I've just completely forgotten that I've been paying this monthly thing.

And I'll do the things too where I'll pay for the year. And then you don't. It's like, oh, it's just a little chunk. The fourth year, I'm like, oh my God, I spent $300. And companies make it really hard to unsubscribe or cancel your subscription. Oh, it's hidden somewhere on my phone. I don't even know how to unsubscribe at this point unless going through Truebill. It's trickery.

But if you don't know what we're talking about, Truebill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions that you don't need or want or you just simply forgot about. And on average, people save up to $720 a year. That's a one and a half Celine glasses. Because companies make subscriptions hard to cancel, Truebill makes it incredibly simple. Just link your accounts and Truebill will cancel your unwanted subscriptions in one tap. It's so easy. easy and your true bill concierge is there when you need them to cancel unwanted subscriptions so you don't have to there's a concierge it's so good do you guys know how the the rude awakening it is when you realize that your ex-boyfriend

from three boyfriends ago is still on your hulu account that hurts i'm like i was wondering why they were looking up uh ann Annie's e-show. You know what app I had for two years that I didn't know that I was paying for? An insect finder. What? An insect identifier. Well, it's right there. I got it.

Right there. It's an Esther. Check Esther's scalp. You guys, don't fall for subscription scams. Start canceling today at Truebill.com slash Trash Tuesday. Go right now. Truebill.com slash Trash Tuesday go right now truebill.com slash trash tuesday it could literally save you thousands a year but i'm realizing like how you just can't get new teeth like i'm just realizing this now like the lesson of your parents being like floss

and brushed you look sad this is the wrong person but i was just thinking like how i hate the when people i they can get them if they want i don't judge them for getting it but i don't like the veneers the horse teeth i don't like the i don't like how they look and i also i know they're like a sign of wealth i feel like is what they are at this point they still are ugly like a louis vuitton bag i agree with you that i think a little bit of a fucked up tooth is better than like the fake perfect ones i'll take it one step further i think veneers are choogy they're weird and you can't undo what's another word for choogy because i feel like we should be ahead of choogy old old bitch yeah kind of like maybe just out of style a bit yeah but it's just the fact that they're permanent and

i've never seen some more where i go that looks better unless maybe they had like really fucked up teeth but usually it's just like oh my god that was part of your like flavor that was like part of who you are i like using old bitch as an adjective and not a noun like that's old bitch of you okay i like that yeah i think the greatest thing that have ever happened to me is because i got braces really young. I love your teeth. But so when I took my braces off, my teeth started to separate because my jaw was still growing.

Because you were blowing so many guys. Right. And so I could really floss with a micro penis. A micro penis could fit in between here. I have a good flossing dick joke. I mean, story, not joke, story. But the greatest thing that ever happened was I got my gaps back.

And I really, that's like one of my favorite parts about my body. It's so cute to me. I love gaps. I get so sad. Pete Davidson got rid of his gap. I'm like, Pete, your gap. He did?

Yes, he's got the things. I love gaps. Madonna got rid of hers too. It makes me so sad when people- Wait, Madonna did? Yeah, she used to have a gap. Here's the thing that I'm realizing as I get more money.

I remember that. It's so hot. hot as i get more money people get like rich and they like get more basic and more basic and more basic i feel like yeah is there a thrill to like achieve you know a certain like well i guess because it's like perfection and would everyone would look the same yeah why would you change your teeth but then i'm like so and then when they they like grind them down into nubs and for the veneers yeah like think of if your boobs like hadn't come out like couldn't come out and you just would have had to have two little what the fuck are you saying cosmetic surgery if she had grinded her boobs down before yeah if they had had to do that for her why even go there oh look at you now that's why look at your face look at your reaction that's exactly what esther do you not have any more urges to be a dog like if you bring it up

like it's certainly possible for me and just for people who don't know when i was little i thought i was a dog named jacob and i ate out of i would for a period of time i would only eat out of a bowl on the floor and drink out of i like the idea of your parents kind of like tripping over you not noticing just completely ignoring this behavior and i would bite people i bit everyone but my mom um so that's like kind of the origin i met a dog named jake how is it it's better than it was before it's less sweet what it's less sweet it tastes fucking delicious what do you mean i think that's just supposed to curb your like wanting a sweet thing have another one it take this i've it what it tastes perfect now so it was it is less sweet though? It's the tiniest bit

less sweet and makes it like I want to eat more. Oh no. This is like when the science experiment goes wrong and like Frankenstein has more powers than he was supposed to. Maybe it was maybe it was um maybe it's we didn't do it right. Carlos. Carlos is in charge. I'm going to take a bite of my cupcake. So will you just monitor me and come take it from me? Yeah. Just be cool about it. Just enjoy it.

How about that? Yeah. Just enjoy it. Enjoy your life. Kalaya's got the smallest bite out of her. You bitch. Are you kidding me? Look.

This is why I never work out with me once because we'll be bound i'm like we're now bound that is so scary to say that's a threat i am threatening eat up bitch oh it's so cute help me come to it i want to see oh you can have one more. You look like Randy. Wait, can I say something about my dog right now? Because you're reminding me of him. Randy is the most popular boy in the neighborhood. And it's the joy of my life.

He's. Two more. Carlos is her calorie coach. A skinny coach. Is that what they're called? I don't know what it is. All these basic celebs were there. What's that?

What are we eating this for? Impossible burger taste test, if you guys would like. There's a camera on me. Burger King, umami, and fat burger. But they're all impossible burgers? They're all impossible burgers. Let me see. Burger King, umami, fat burger but they're all impossible burgers they're all impossible burgers let me see burger king umami fat burger take all the same at the same oh wait yes okay we're gonna we're gonna start with burger king okay burger king annie why doesn't it have to take the bottom bread off can you make them colder it doesn't feel cold enough where's like the toppings i got it plain just

to be cool that's not cool it's my fucking birthday and you got them plain i love that you're like putting food in her face this is this sucks man hmm he's mad oh no he's taking it away I'm just kidding I'm grateful okay but why is the bottom red on there still

I hope this I hope these calories don't go to your labia in those underwear okay the second one is what let's get a rating okay we gotta get a rating

before we move on to the next shut up you are acting just like my little pup pup don't anger our puppy girl on her quinceanera carlos which one was that one that one's really good fat burger that one's the better one fat burger has been in the past my favorite we could

do esther you're moving too fast through this let's do lettuce wrap next time okay so uh i thought the burger king one i'll give it a six um this one i will i can't wait until i taste the other ones carlos is pouting in the corner no i'm writing down the rating kalilah just getting a burger six oh wait no you guys the fat burger one is way better, right? Oh yeah. What's that over there? A normal one. A not impossible one.

I'm gonna mean it. I took off one of the breads. We saw. We were watching. We were making sure. The third one is what? Umami burger? I didn't like that one. Umami was okay. We saw. We were watching. We were making sure. The third one is what? Umami burger?

I didn't like that one. Umami was okay. Burger King was the least good. Umami was second. I will say this about the Burger King. There is a nostalgic cheapness about the taste. I think if the Burger King one had lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onions. We could have a real conversation,

a real dialogue. Yeah, but see, the good thing about the fat burger one is double stacked. We don't want your onion breath on your birthday, okay, Esther? He's saving you. If you think I don't already have onion breath when I show up... I'm quietly enjoying this. I'm in a shame spiral.

What just happened? I blacked out did i growl at anyone you growled at me twice why are you a shame spiral what did i do i blacked out because there were impossible burgers i want to formally apologize to the producers in the room and to my co-hosts all right this is out of control listen um You only lashed out at Carlos. Don't worry. We all liked it. It felt like my birthday. We got Randy this bone and he's just vicious.

He gets vicious about them. We went out for Valentine's Day. We got this like big steak. We went to Nobu. Wait, you did? Yeah. Nobu has steak. I thought Nobu was sushi.

No, wait. I went to the other one what's the one next to it steak and mouth i mean there's a mcdonald's across the street no what's this the fancy restaurant right on uh prime ocean prime oh yeah but we brought this big like this giant bone back for the littlest dog in the world and randy you know his two teeth on the bottom so he's like trying to get at it and we just go near him he's like it's like randy we brought this for you asshole like we want you to have this you fuck so mad but i did want to say i have to brag about randy he is i wanted the most popular dog in the

neighborhood and i got him when he goes to the dog park people gasp they go randy's here because he's so prancy so cute he's a little reindeer he's so cute he's some woman was like we should do like a dog swap and i went i'm not taking your fucking shitty dogs a dog swap where you get the king no no wait people do that that's not a thing that's absurd that's what people pitch when they want to steal your dog oh she's like i would be so happy if he was just like prancing around my house i go yeah it's really great you should work on training your dogs to be cuter so what is a puppy girl you're the pioneer you're the one who started the movement is it like you tell us is it a okay puppy girls the women with a fetish for acting like her dog is out a lot wow you're the leader of this movement

aster puppy girl jenna earns ten thousand dollars a month on only fans making videos of herself playing fetch begging for food and being taken on nice long walks guys we're getting some only fans ideas and i know that we keep pitching this only fans but we can do if it's not like full fucking labia shit we can do it you know what she's in texas she seems cool car Carlos is in love. Carlos is in love. Carlos, bring her home to us. I do kind of feel like- Shane Gillis follows her.

That's- I'm going to follow her. Shane Gillis follows. So she- SNL, you missed out on a great one. You fucked up. She subscribes to the- What is it?

Sadomasochist what? So she's a sub. So Sato masochist submissive. I'm kind of sad she doesn't have more followers. She's on Only Paws. Only Paws is good. She's in the top 0.02% creators on OnlyFans. I'm not going to lie.

I feel like the sexy puppy thing, like I can't really move on from that. It looks pretty good. It's really like like it's really sticking with for your birthday you get to choose we're gonna go to the pet store after this and you get to choose your own leash and your own collar and Annie and I are gonna walk you around town for your birthday oh my god harness oh yeah of course there's gonna be a fake cock in the middle of it though go around your crotch area i want a man's perspective on this like carlos you because you used to work at a dog rescue like is this there's nothing

sexual about it to me like really yeah like a girl pretending to be a dog is not you're like way to go theater major somebody didn't make their uh college play and made a different turn took a turn literally me esther's like i don't know uh if i want to wait in trailers anymore i might just start making my own content i mean i do my cast as a dog this is a like a solid plan b for my life if things you know let's make it a plan a today okay plan s esther i saw you hang out with your queen idol maria menounos on instagram yes i did her podcast she's amazing now annie you commented on the photo i posted with maria menounos saying what's the true to reveal the true story and i literally need you to remind me because I don't remember we went to the grove together back in the day and they used to shoot extra live she

was the host of extra so it was her and Mario Lopez were at the grove and we wanted to get her attention so obviously you made me do it so we're like standing on the edge and we're like we like your dog we were just being the creepiest most annoying people could she hear us she responded to us she said thanks a little bit like that's so we fangirled like in the front like we may as well been like outside the today show we were fangirling i we were going into strike we wanted to ask her her diet but we couldn't get that glove. The security intervened. Well, I finally met her for real. Wait, you own her book? Yes.

Where did the love affair start? Her book, she had this book, The Every Girl's Guide to Life, and it was just so honest and real, and I really took to it. She has such big sister energy that I fell in love with her, and I'll never forget the life tip in her book that i still do it it's like if you want to like make your bathroom at home seem like it's like nice and fancy ask carlos to clean it that first and then roll up get buy like a ton of cheap white washcloths fold them and roll them and like stack them and then you have like a spa like bathroom the amount of fucking blood and snot that are on those that have just flung off you you have to

to buy new ones every few months they stain quick um but yeah then i did her podcast and she was so nice and so cool we should have her on this show and you guys should do her show she's really cool no she's so cool and she's so like um she's so sweet so iconic to me like she's so beautiful and she's had such a long interesting career i don't know i just some i have obviously been in love with her and weirdly me and her husband are like like we're like the same person i feel like she and dave are the same and me and her husband are you know how when you're like hitting on someone you kind of want to make up make friends with their like spouse to make it cool esther will you repeat that because i feel officially offended and kind of jealous what do you mean say what you just said about her partner i'm like her husband and she's like dave uh-huh what so you know you identify with bobby oh my god i'm

just the lesser maria menounos no i'm just a standard you have a maria menounos vibe that's crazy no no you do you're onto something you're right no she's maria menounos since she couldn't have maria for a long time she just settled for me no no no no you did you you you menounos turn no no no no but i do see a correlation are you that you're more like dave and i'm more like bobby i do see that that that's a thing kind of say i'm a little jealous maybe we should bring her here you guys should fight for me she does like to wrestle and also she was the host of the um which i actually was trying to get this job i was screaming to nobody. But I was like, I really want this job.

Can someone get it for me? The host of the challenge after party, the after show. Like the reunion thing? Yeah, the MTV challenge is my favorite show. One of my favorite shows. And so she was the host this year. And I was like, okay, if it can't be me i don't know here's the truth we don't mind hair we like hair we just need you to groom it up scape it once in a while a little scaping a little manscaping i shaved my bush today

on the way in i didn't even know it was esther's birthday but i know subconscious your body listen it's not the the company does not tell us to talk about this but i don't care okay i'm breaking free during this ad todd and i we have his and hers, and it is the same one. Ball trimmers, okay? The Lawn Mower 4.0. The Lawn Mower 4.0 is for this 4.0 too, okay? I love it. We both use them. They're great.

Todd's been using all the shampoos and the body wash for like slithering up. Also, you can have really accurate grooming sessions because they have that LED light, and it's also waterproof, so you can take it in the shower with you it comes in this little package it's got so much stuff it's awesome i also love that they just launched like actually men's hair care and it's really easy because it's a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner which you know guys are lazy and so are some girls look do i love their shampoo yeah sure steve bannon and if a guy has tattoos or dry skin manscaped has him covered with the hydrating body moisturizer spray which is really awesome dave has been using it i have white friends the tattoos yours is the crusty yeah um he'll definitely want to use the lawnmower 4.0 electric

trimmer to clean off any unwanted body hair and it's the lawn Mower 4.0 electric trimmer to clean off any unwanted body hair and it's the Lawn Mower 4.0 is our favorite product it's waterproof and it's a major key to the new shower also I think of Manscaped as like a one-stop shop yeah or men's self-love you know what also we never talk about is that it's a funny gift this is a funny gift to give to a guy especially your father which we can go through this again if you want no thank you um you guys can get 20 off plus free shipping with the code trash at manscaped.com that's 20 off plus free shipping with the code trash at manscaped.com and maury for your daughter's birthday i am gonna buy

you some manscaped so you look out he already has plenty let's get the man in your life nice and clean with a new manscaped shower routine can we talk about liquid death and how it's blowing up and it's become the coolest brand of water everywhere i know i don't want to say it's because i got on our podcast but you kind of do right i want to say it i saw it a lot before us well no i've been getting tagged in so many instagrams of people drinking it because of us i feel like we started this trend and i want to keep it going um and you may have started to notice that you see these weird tall boys that look cans that look like beer they're just water and we love it so much because it makes us feel cool i mean if i had this in middle school i might not have been a juvenile delinquent like if i i could have just felt because so much of it was just looking cool yes this was like a place of like o'douls or something right there was something to hold but let's also focus on

like what's really cool about them is they call it liquid death because it's death to plastic i'm so sick of just nasty water bottles that have been sitting in the heat and all melty and disgusting liquid. Stop talking about Kalilah's old boob job, okay? Also, correct. But also, most plastics are not even recyclable. That's crazy. So the fact that now we have delicious water and awesome aluminum cans that make us look like rock stars all day. And it's a conversation starter.

Don't be drinking your plastic bottles and then they get thrown into landfills and they end up in the water. Kalilah's trying to spear fish the fish. She comes up with a plastic. Don't do that to our girl, okay? They also donate 10% of the profits from every can sold to help kill plastic pollution. Like, they're doing God's work for us. So we just get drunk. Don't you guys love the sound of when it cracks open?

I love the crack one. Well, do you know what that sound, I always think about with that sound is, have you ever been, when you're younger, you go to the movie theaters, and your dad makes you bring the soda from home, and so everyone in the theater hears you cracking open your can? And then you, like, go to get the popcorn theaters and your dad makes you bring the soda from home and so you everyone in the theater hears you cracking open and then you like go to get the popcorn and put a hole in the bottom right annie letterman we get it get free shipping on all water and merch at liquid death.com slash trash that's liquid death.com slash trash or grab some at whole food sprouts and 7-Eleven.

By the way, I found a solution. So you know how I don't like to have sex without a bra. I found a solution to that. And it's sheer mesh bra. Oh, I thought you were going to say doggy. Can I see? You can still see. Yeah.

Hi. I love that. Is that a negative negative it's a negative yeah i need that i did get horny i'm not gay but i did my i got wet down there show i have nipple envy over your nipples oh no it really is my birthday huh i put a lot of i put like a lot of padding on because i knew i was gonna pit sweat these so i had to counter the pits the cutlets oh no i hate the feeling of taking those off oh god it's like a sticky for people who don't know it you tape it to your tit and then you have to peel it off your nipple it's so i had chicken cutlets fall off in the dance floor once like slip from under me.

They're slippy. Well, yeah, it completely fell off from under me. They used to, when I was go-go dancing, they would always come up and they'd be like, your thingy's showing. They'd be like, push it down. Like up to my neck. Are there songs that you guys listen to where you think like, oh, this has been a song.

You don't necessarily think it's like an emotional song, but you like listen to where you think like, oh, this has been a song, you don't necessarily think is like an emotional song, but you like cry to anyways. I have been belting Exile. What's that? The Taylor Swift song. From Red? I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending.

I don't know what it's from. Your singing is not bad. Yeah. Well, is that my challenge by the way to sing? can we we need better challenge by the way someone dancing dancing what's your challenge dancing so boring esther can do it i don't want to do it great choreography again bitch it's so weird you're such a little talent thank you we did bring a music player um we have the stem player oh do we have to dance for Esther's birthday Yes Esther do a dance for us on our Birthday

No I was under the impression I was getting a laugh Dance today from both of you Happy birthday Esther I'm sorry I probably hurt your fake Neck injury Who got the stem player Pete and George own them Because Pete and George are rich They're just walked in with them. Because Pete and George are rich.

They're just pretending to be poor. What? They're $200, Annie. They're rich. It's not that much. Just say it, Pete. Say I'm rich. Say it out loud.

I am not rich. George, pay him more because you're rich. Tesla is the STEM player and I chose the STEM player. You guys, the Tesla is so fucking good. It's so good. I was listening to, okay, wait. Todd made this observation. He said, I only like duets. so good. I was listening to, okay, wait, Todd made this observation and he said,

I only like duets. Really? And I do cry to them. I do get really emotional when there's a duet. I don't know, I need, but maybe it's like.

You are such a twin. I know, I think it's the twin thing. Being a twin, like, like some people can just be a twin and be normal,

but for you, you just took it and you just ruined it. And it's subconscious too. Like, I don't even know. It's just, I'm so twin. I'm just accidentally in matching outfits. It just it's subconscious too like I don't even know it's just I'm so twin I'm just accidentally in matching outfits it just happens all the time I don't even it's like just happening I do wonder like because I growing up I told you I've always been

close friends with twins always and growing up I was the twins I was friends with when I was really little like I was always so jealous and would think like what was that like like to have someone do you like you can you're so close to them and you actually had it and it slipped through my hands and you're crap and i let it slip through my hands all i can do is get to his wife and his daughters i get as close as i can get i would the cat won't have me i can't even get his cat to like me i just my goal in life is for your twin brother to one day formally have a restraining order it's so close and it's like he loves you and you guys but he's like i just it's for our own safety he's like it's just never felt uh equal it just never felt like

oh we need to have one day her twin brother here but without her if you can get him here i would be if you can get him on the phone please let me know i would love to just be there listen i would love to hear his voice in real time it's been so long so i heard a rumor that because it's my birthday i was going to get lap dances esther i think that we should save your birthday dance for the live stream so that let's choreograph it choreograph something. Let's give you a good one. I want to wash my puss too a little bit.

Okay. I'll definitely wear sweatpants. You know what makes me really sad? I went to, when we were in New York, I went to a strip club alone. How was it? All by my lonesome.

It was amazing. Tell us about the girls. Now, where were you, Esther? She didn't fucking invite me. That is a lie. Did I not go to your room and I asked you and carlos hey guys i i'm heading out been there no you did go out that's true no it's totally i was not gonna go

out and we all know that right they were cuddled in i know that carlos was watching his basketball but i went to this place that was recommended to me by one of schultz's uh producers it was called the box and it was just a burlesque um spot the box is the funniest name for a strip club i know that's what kind of that was the allure i was like this is a genius fucking yeah so i was just gonna go to like rick's cabaret or something when i was like the box sounds interesting but it was just burlesque and i got myself a little table um and yeah it was kind of lonely but kind of fun i've gone to a strip club alone before it's super fun right you guys need to get twins okay i don't do stuff like this

i got a brother i got a brother who won't take my call i got i got a brother to call non-stop but you know what's really sad is drinking alone that's what i didn't like because then i have to go back to my hotel room now i'm just'm just like nauseous by myself. Fisting yourself. You're horny and drunk. Yeah. Yeah. Hit yourself in the mind. It's so true. Throw a little sprinkle, a little of that faucet on your back to have memories.

Can we clarify something for a second? Nobody, nobody fists themselves. Pull it up, Carlos. A hundred percent. Esther, where have you been? Esther, you are a weird prude because you're a dirty slut i know you are you're a fucking filthy slut what is this just because i didn't drink i just don't know your arms are not long enough are yours yeah there's

no knuckle on her pussy's back remember also yeah my i am a knuckle dragger i have really long arms i have lebrron wingspan. I can throat myself. Is this showing us how you have to sign like a thing? That's a yakso. What'd you find? Yeah, Esther, see? They're all fisting themselves. I mean, endless, endless videos.

Those are not fists. That's what fisting is. You've got a lot to bend over. Okay. This live stream is going to be great. There, she's going to get there. Carlos is like, I don't want to do this at work. There we go, Esther.

Do you not call that fisting? Wait, this is getting me a warning. I don't like watching because I cannot watch porn without getting turned on. Wow, good for you, congratulations happy birthday esther she could pull the whole like all three of the bananas out to get into it from that fucking ass oh my god i'm so proud of some of these girls i know wait esther i i randomly i brought some presents from the road for you oh and for everyone that they're not that many i just i feel like it's my birthday too people give me all these presents or like annie

subconsciously knew it was my birthday like something weird is going on okay and she with a ritzia bag i know i want to remind you of your trauma oh god it's okay wait i don't know what is on the bottom there something spilled okay so this is spilled that is not what you want to hear this is from when annie's about to hand me something moogs moogs gave these she said dearest slugs i know you don't smoke but maybe this sluggy ashtray could be part of the set kalilah liked a pic of it and i peed myself so i also make jewelry and included a few pieces for each of you give me give me give me, give me. Look how cool this is. Ah, so good. That's so badass.

I almost kept it, but I was like, that's so rude. Is this for me? This is for the set. Oh, look at these haste lugs. Coco. Oh. Green's my favorite color. There's one for me.

She hands them all out. Pete, George, Carlos. People are like really pushing the mushroom thing for you. I think it's time. Wait, why a mushroom? Oh, they want mushrooms. Yes. Listen, you guys. out pete george people are like really pushing the mushroom thing for you i think it's time wait why a mushroom oh they want yes i think listen you guys inside these earrings are papaya seeds that's so cool in honor of tiger belly like nosotras papaya oh how cute is this look at these snake earrings and then she gave me a pearl necklace like i already have one

do i put it over my other pearl necklace esther gave it to me for her birthday that's so you and then i get them all the time i have to remember to bring them you guys if you gave me stuff and i forgot i'm so sorry it's somewhere i love this thank you moobs we should have a p.o box and the boys have to go through it first oh those are cute that's cool some girls gave me them off okay and then i got this shirt which i honestly i'm like i want to keep it but i think it's more cocoa someone went in dc they went shopping for me and they found this it's so cool the buck stops here and it's right next to the white house look at the bottom oh i like that would you wear it shirt yeah they went and shopped for it a hundred they got it for me but i i don't know if my pits wear it until i get my pits wait

um show us the first because her and i have the same t-shirt no you can you can it's your birthday i want you to start with it and then i'll see why don't we sisterhood of the traveling shirt because i don't want to give it away for for real for another shirt but it's really soft and i have more i have to find there's also i have to find out who did it there's this picture um someone drew of randy with heart glasses on and i couldn't bring it for sad i have it in my house and it's so cute but i'll plug her this was from an artist at a show in nashville she painted this me and i know so i think it's so cute the bubbles and stuff too i know she did such a good job last night at the comedy store i could not believe how many slugs

were there i was like this is is what Annie's always talking about. It was like kind of weird. Yeah, it's weird because I'll say this, because I've been going to the comedy store for literally 13 years. And now it's so abundantly different all of a sudden because of this podcast. People are showing up to see me

and it was not like that before. I'm like gonna cry. It's like, it's different. It's not like, okay. So there's two ways you can look at it. It's like our egos were excited because we're successful and stuff like that but it's I swear to god it's not that. It's like there is a fucking vibe and a connection and it's crazy and it's growing and people are bringing like new people that have never watched the show to the stand-up shows. They're coming. They're liking the show. They're

going and watching it. It's really cool. Well, there's – you know what it is? It's this overall connection. Like these people like relate to us and like there's a connection there. And so I know that like when I meet a slug at a show, it's like they relate to what we say. I don't know. It just feels really good. It feels really good. It's a feeling that they've already accepted who you are.

Yeah. know it just feels really good it feels really good it's a feeling that they've already accepted who you are yeah that's that's why we feel like because we've we've dumped all of our deepest darkest on here right like horrible things and they they somehow still love you so you feel an automatic safety around um these people i feel that and i think it's like a vice versa versa to thing where it's like the fact that they're getting to feel like relief in the things that they've been ashamed of where it's like, no, no, no, baby. You're one of us. You're just one of us. Do you know what? I do think that that is accidentally one of the themes of this show, which I might have brought this up on Schultz. I'm not sure.

But like I got a message that was like, you have taught me self-acceptance. And I was like, i never thought about that but because we are so radically accepting of our own flaws and we are open and share them that is what's showing other people like you can be fucked up and it's fine i mean and it's kind of funny the fact that we're laughing so hard about this shit is getting pounded by our teachers our our drug counselors and shit. It's like crazy. Yeah. You know what I was just thinking about?

I just had this flashback. I was listening to this music, and it was these two songs. And I had met this British guy when I was in. Was it a Michael McDonald song? No, it was. They were Masa Mura, Mura Masa or something. I don't know. Something.

I don't know. But I met this guy, this British guy, when I was in New Orleans years ago. And we were like making out at the bar. And then I thought I might like him. We both lived in Brooklyn. And I like went and stayed at his house one night. And I didn't like him. And I didn't fuck him.

I remember realizing that was the first time I didn't fuck someone that I had like set out to fuck. But my body chose not to and I didn't do it I usually would just be like bang them anyway because I felt like rude or whatever and I'm just thinking like how do you learn these lessons earlier like how do you teach like girls younger I mean some people just have self-esteem I think it's different now for sure the girls are getting more information because I think that they have girls like us that are like hey do not go down the route I did you know let's be transparent i know i have those talks with jules and i she feels very safe telling me everything and being open

and if she has a question or a weirdness about something she'll be like hey is it weird when this yeah this is it weird if i do and i'm very open yeah um so i think i we didn't have that yeah i just it never occurred to me you know what it is because it's to say like teaching women to say no

and girls to say no more is kind of like a good way to put it but it's deeper than that because I think for me it was I didn't even the concept of boundaries

was so mind-blowing even like a year ago to me in any way seriously think about our friendship did I not understand boundaries right seriously like i mean for real like i didn't get it and then i just realized what the term holding

space meant i always just thought it was a nice way of saying like i'm here for you but it's not like holding space means you're present to hear someone without judgment right just like what are you it doesn't matter if they're telling you horrible things about cheating on their spouse or whatever whatever it's like i'm not here to judge you i'm literally just going to listen and be present that's being strong in yourself to be able to do that where you're not making what they're saying about you right the worst thing is giving unsolicited advice to someone who just wants to be heard unsolicited advice is a form of what did i hear abuse probably like criticism it is yeah

i've caught myself doing that and with that you probably shouldn't wear stripes but uh even on your birthday i will commend myself i think i am good at holding space for people i feel like i'm a good person to come to if you don't want to be judged yeah i'll listen and i will i i only share my own secrets you're good at boundaries you are so good at holding space Esther this is my real birthday present but what you were saying what you it's like self like okay so to even get to the point of boundaries I had to like realize I really hated myself like deep down in a way that I never even let myself I was just go go going so I wasn't I'm getting so like yeah I was like I was squirting everywhere I wish uh now um but like I was not um even like staying still enough to like get like

real with the fact that I really had a belief in myself that I fucking sucked and like didn't deserve things so boundaries made no sense to me so then once i got to that i was like oh boundaries are so easy wow it's so easy and it's for you it's not for the other person it's not to control the other person which is what i'm learning now through boundaries it's just yeah it's just what you need but i understand like it does sound like a thing that you would tell other people this is my boundary but it's actually you're right it's not that it's like this is it's like all up here for you because you can't control other people no and like when I like whenever I've blocked people like I blocked a couple of my ex-boyfriends on Instagram stuff it's not like for them to see I blocked them or for them yeah it's it has nothing to do with them it's really just like

I just don't want to I just want to cut that connection off so I can heal that and protect your energy yeah yeah I I'm dealing with something similar like that in my life and it's hard to cut it off cut off communication with someone it's really hard for me and I'm like really trying to hold firm but it's not easy yeah because it gets easier over time yeah the initial part of like you know we just said get so used to having that person sort of buzzing around us or whatever right but once you and there's a pain it's almost like a breakup but then you just it just gets easier and then you realize over time like oh that was the right move i did that for myself and then all that space

and time you can fill up with something good yeah yeah and i think it's good for them yeah it is yeah you know and you know if there's a friendship to be mended down the road you would have initiated that you were the person that initiated that you actually did something really nice for them as well to give them time to reflect on whatever yeah and that's how i feel like the quote that i keep thinking of is detached with love it's like we're detaching but there's love there right because if you're angry you're still attached if you're angry you're still fucking it's true and it's a process it's a process you couldn't be the most attached you are is when you are angry yeah when you are feeling that deep resentment that when you want to lash out at somebody that is when you're most tightly bound to them yeah they're taking up so much that person's

taking up so much of your space i was like i was i think i said this on here before but that the girl who stole my mole okay okay like she like fucked me over and i'm this victim of her and she did this horrible thing and she told the cops i was a liar and it was like the sheer horror of my best friend doing that all the stuff I like up until that episode was still mad at this girl and the truth is like maybe what she did was bad maybe it wasn't who knows why she did it but um I was mad at a 16 year old I was mad at a 16 year old girl as a grown-ass woman I was still mad at her and then I was thinking like when I kept thinking about my teacher who assaulted me he had he was a white guy with dreads I kept like bringing him with me I was like I kept starting when I was starting to

really heal it I was I would imagine myself when you know when you check yourself out in the reflection when you're walking down the street and there's obviously another person in an office that's seeing you yes you can't see them and they're just judging you i would do that and i would always imagine that i'm i'm bringing this like dreaded man with me are you serious i'm just pulling yeah and it helped me stop doing i know that i was like dragging him into each day of my life thinking about it upset about it and not that it's okay that he fucking assaulted me or anything but but it's not mine. It really isn't yours. And my whole identity was like around you. It is just something that like happened to us, but it has zero to do with our constitution,

what we're made up of. Yeah, you're who you want to be. But when you have like a bruised ego or a bad self-image of yourself, that stuff like attaches to you because- Thousand percent. Yeah. In fact, you know what? that stuff like attaches to you because yeah in fact you know what i had to break a friendship recently with someone i'd known since childhood because every time he spoke to me he spoke to me

and this like described me as as if i was still a 19 year old drunk which i was i was a horrible drunk late teens early 20s probably a terrible person but anytime he describes me to other people like oh yeah that's just kalilah she's crazy always just like very in a very dismissive way they keep you at a place you're not at and i'm like hey dude i'm 37 years old literally 20 years have passed like i've done the work i've made amends how about you stop treating me like the dumb drunk 19 year old and he could not get past that and he's like oh i'm just joking but that joke would just continually come up and i'm like you know what we're done here that's so smart and aware of you because it's like i've also had that experience

where someone's belief system about me that will brainwash you into believing the things that they say about you and so i had a person in my life who would always make a joke that i was stupid and i it's like years went by and i woke up one day and i'm like oh i've believed that i've been stupid for the last couple years and i like went to therapy even i don't call her stupid but stupid is such a mean word yeah my mom says it a lot but it's just like but it's like fuck really i don't think i know anyone's stupid really that's really stupid everyone's smart at their own thing you have to be careful because if someone is a has a strong opinion of you and they're always letting you know it like it'll you'll brainwash yourself into believing it but another step when you were a kid and people

said that stuff to you and your brain was still absorbing things and sponging things in, the things they said are now your voice in your own head that are calling you fat or calling you this. Or, you know, like, that's, so that's the voice you got to work on, too, is, like, not even the outside shit, the shit that got in there when you were little. We, I think we should, like, decide what are the beliefs about ourselves that we want it to be like let's design it for ourselves well that's hypnosis too yeah you decide your beliefs and then you instill them you get yourself into like a a state where your subconscious is like relaxed enough to take it in and then you just fucking penetrate i will say why this works i know you guys don't think that you have hypnotized me but in the year that i've been around you guys like you always you guys always like gassing me up and saying kalilah you're pretty you're hot like i've sort of embodied

those compliments and i think that i've never felt better about myself because i think when you guys first met me i was very like oh but i'm so this and I'm so that and I still have those moments but I think that you girls really sort of like pushed me to like now when I walk past and I get a reflection of myself I'm like oh my god I am so pretty I have an amazing smile inside typing like she is pretty look at her but I wasn't able to say that to myself even yeah like as short as like two years ago where now I'm like oh it is good to surround yourself with people who make you feel that way because I've been telling that stupid voice like you said has been you know reciting this false narrative about myself for so long and it'll go back every time well yeah

because my mom was always like my mom was like you can't say you're pretty be humble be humble be humble you can't say that out loud and i'm like maybe you can maybe yeah you can that's how like it is now but yeah when we were growing up it was like not cool to be you're conceited yeah although i do remember once like one of the popular girls i was hanging out with her and she's like you know you were there and she's like are you conceited and i was like why and she's like i am i was like what a what a renegade but the word conceited was a really popular word when we were growing up right she's so conceited it was a negative but i'm like wait a second what do you mean like good self-esteem it's such a confusing thing too because ego and self-esteem, I'm not even kidding. I've been like trying to figure out the difference between them because it's like, because you

want to have high self-esteem, but you don't want to, because the judging ourselves on whether, this is what I said about the yoga, what I was thinking in yoga. It's like if we judge ourselves on like being pretty or ugly, it's like our body will change. Yeah. It's like, it's just like loving yourself because the frequency is love and then you can't be mad at you can't be like throwing hate at other people because that's coming from your love frequency so i think the the difference between ego and self-esteem it's like let's say there's a job you want and you don't get it why are you jerking it off i don't know but you felt it too and then you also press like you're on jeopardy you jerked it off and then you push the tip that um what is let's say you don't get the job

your ego would be like fuck them like oh this they fuck suck they made a mistake but if you just are a person with self-esteem i think you'd be like well i know i could have done it and done a great job but it's not this one it's not the one for, but it's not this one. It's not the one for me. Yeah. It's like the next thing. That's like my think. How? I just, yeah, I don't know. My mind is being blown. I have like, you know, I do that. I watch, listen to the Guy Jim Fortin's podcast and stuff.

And I, every time I listen to that or Mary Lou, my hypnotist, like whenever I'm like feeling away, I always just click on one of their videos and it's always like the video. It's weird. It's like whatever video I need to hear, like randomly I'll just click on one. But it's all like, I keep hearing all this attachment stuff and it's cool. I love it. We're self-improving in 2022. We're trying.

That is key. We're in it. We're doing it. It's done. It is already done. Well, this has been the weirdest birthday I've ever had. What did you learn on your birthday, Esther? already done well this has been the weirdest birthday i've ever had what have you what did you learn on your birthday esther i learned that we are honestly that we're all very in tune and

like on the path of self-improvement and i love that like i think that we have our slugs come here and be with us and we say really rotten things and are really weird but i like that we're also circling back to like getting better and being good people and it makes me feel good so that's what i learned the pile of manure with the flower growing oh like the rose that grew on concrete tupac shakur um slugs thank you so much for being here. And as always, please subscribe to this channel and come see our live stream. Momenthouse.com slash Trash Tuesday. That is coming up very soon. And it's going to be chaotic and ruin our lives. Thanks for watching!