Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - WE RIDE w/ Hannah Berner

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

*BETTERHELP* - Take a moment. Take.  A. Moment.   with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/TRASHTUESDAY today to get 10% off your first month.  Betterhelp.com/trashtuesday   SAY IT WITH US *SKIMMMMMMSSSS* Shop the SKIMS T-Shirt Shop at SKIMS.com.  Now available in sizes XXS - 4X.  If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. The “It” girl of the moment Hannah Berner is here & it feels right as rain. Go watch Hannah’s Special “We Ride at Dawn” on Netflix!! The girls talk looking like little boys at the airport, the way Zendaya holds a racket, Nature vs. Nurture, Boyfriends at comedy shows and much more. We love us some Hannah! More Hannah Berner YouTube:    / @hannahberner   Instagram -   / beingbernz   Giggly Squad Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... TikTok -   / hannah_berner   Website - https://www.hannahberner.com/   00:00 Stop Being so Pick Me, Khalyla! 01:00 Hannah Berner is in the STU 06:46 Esther is having a Career/Mom Crisis  18:00 Hannah Berners Family Dynamic 24:36 Hannah Talks about a Schizophrenia Documentary 28:00 Esther’s Ex’s Thrive After They Break Up w/ Her 31: 06 Hannah is Everywhere and What’s That Like? 40:00 Once Again, We Talk Bed Rotting 45:00 Hannah’s Mother in Law 47:30 Esther’s Promise to Herself She’s Breaking 50:00 Do We Want to Cum Giving Birth? 57:30 Hannah’s Thoughts on The Challengers 01:01:11 Hannah’s Thoughts on the Tennis Craze 01:07:34 Wrapping Up   FOLLOW TRASH TUESDAY!!! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday   Listen to Trash: Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPod Trash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudio   More Esther: Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster More Khalyla:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@TigerBelly   Production: Stella Young: https://www.instagram.com/estellayoung Tiny Legends, LLC: https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod   Shot and Edited By:  Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps Sean Wanless: https://www.instagram.com/soundandshutter   Art Direction and Social Media: Ariel Moreno: https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce   Branding & Music: Branding & Logo: https://www.instagram.com/jason_cryer Theme Song: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen: https://www.candyedits.com

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint mobile for details do you um watch any like f1 stuff like formula absolutely not i never got into the f1 stuff

even if you don't because i you disgusting pick me no no no skims skims you guys can shop the skims t-shirt shop at Skims.com now available in sizes XXS to 4X and if you haven't yet be sure to let them know that we sent you and after you place your order select podcast in the survey select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Skims. Skims. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp Take a moment Visit BetterHelp.com Slash Trash Tuesday today to get 10% off Your first month

That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P dot com slash Trash Tuesday Actually I don't know where to start with you No I know I'm so overwhelmed Kalilah I'm also eating the protein bar that you gave me And what do you think? It's pretty good.

Yeah, it's not bad, right? It's not really good, but it's pretty good. Yeah, it's not bad for how low sugar. I would buy it. I would get it again. You guys, welcome. We ride at dawn. Heard of it?

Have you heard it? We have our number one girl. Bleep that because we're in the first few minutes of the episode welcome comedian famous world touring selling out theaters um welcome hannah burner wait i just realized i'm chewing gum that's so rude thank you are you kidding without so i always chewed gum in theater class like a bad girl. I'm a mom because I would take my gum. You guys don't chew gum? Yeah. You know, I just put it was in.

My John. You're like TMJ. That's your 30s, TMJ. I was in the bathroom and you guys had gum and I will take a free piece of gum in a bathroom. That is sad. Your bathroom's awesome. That makes me sad. I almost took the whole esterine, but I was like, people need that.

But I do want to just be clear. We Ride at Dawn is the name of Hannah's Netflix special. I have watched her hone this craft. I have watched her put this together.

It is the funniest hour I've ever seen on Netflix July 9th. When I watched your hour... You should be my agent. You're so much better at promoting me. We have the same agent.

I'm going to tell him you said that. Andrew, you're fired. I'm coming for you um no because remember last year when i was in new york for two months it was my whole personality yes that i lived there for two months paparazzi photos every day with donut um you i had heard that emily ratajkowski was coming to your stand-up show and i what did i do i text hannah i'm like you need to let me open for you okay i'm coming to that she was like yeah of course and so I got to meet Amrata through Hannah

and it was the best night of my life she was so beautiful in person she was so kind so thank you for that gift you gave me that was so funny and I don't want to suck your guys oh did I it's too early to say anyway I am I'm trying to be good I think you guys are so famous's too early to say. Anyway, I am. I'm trying to be good. I think you guys are so famous. So for you to say that I'm famous is hilarious. And then for you to be fangirling to want to see M. Rod, I'm like, you're an actress. You do real Hollywood. Hannah, I'm not even kidding. Like, you're my flex these days. Because it's like it's it's anytime like I meet like a new cool girl. Like, you know know all of these

like older male comics they're disgusting like go to my socials and they were like wait like hannah how do you know hannah i'm like oh my god hannah my girl hannah it's my biggest flex you're my biggest flex these days use me for any street cred you want it just makes me so happy that i feel like the girls are like realizing that stand-up can be a safe place I know and I like hope that this special causes more girls to be like I want to be a stand-up or like some capacity because oh it's going to I have a theory that girls like we're just we're made for comedy we overthink things we like to complain like we are emotionally intelligent like we are made for the art of stand-up i agree and it

has been it's been for the boys for too long and at your show i'm like oh like the girlies are here like we're we have a home yeah we have a safe space and it's funny i've also gone to this point too because like with stand-up it's obviously with the boys it's not this like go the men or like the girls i try to like understand the men and like deep down you're like i want to understand them and i want them to understand us a little more so we both can like grow in a happy place it doesn't always happen but like a lot of boyfriends will come and be like i actually learned a lot and like you get the nodding like i didn't think i would laugh but it's like candid compliments yeah i didn't know who you were, but now I might throw you a follow.

I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan, but my girlfriend, I don't know why, obsessed. I can't tell at all why. So it's like you can't act like there aren't men in the story. So I'm trying to kind of, everyone's in on the joke I'm trying to get, but we need our narrative to be heard. Yeah, it's time it's time for that also shout out to your special that i've watched on youtube because it was very

very hilarious while being creative because i feel like if i tried to be too artsy like that it wouldn't have worked that's not true no they would have been like okay just put them on snapchat but your parents are really funny i know know this, like, just from knowing you. Your dad, I love the way your dad is, like, so hard on you and, like, treats you like you're a football player. It's so strange. Wait, that's really good because I have to come up with a new hour. And that's so right. And I have a husband, too, who's also pretty hard on me.

Yeah. Like, I was just, like, hitting tennis balls this weekend and he started, like, saying, like, good shot. Bend your knees. And something, I had this rush come over me of excitement. It was really sick. Yeah. It's a, you know, it's a growing up in that not authoritative, authoritarian, like do this or die, do this correctly or you will die. You start to, you start to crave it as an adult.

Like I, I'm not like a self-starter in that way like if i work out i need someone like yelling at me so true so true i'll lay down and just scroll my phone don't tempt me i need okay now that i'm a mommy i have i know it's crazy i haven't seen you since i've become a mom to become no and i almost like didn't even address it online because i was like this needs to be like no we tm, we DM'd. I know, like I said, congrats and stuff, but I just felt like I had to witness it in person.

So I have like kind of, I'm looking to you guys. Don't. Don't. Big mistake. I have questions because I feel like I've crossed over

to this other side and like I'm, life is so different and I've always been so curious what it would be like and now I'm here and I'm and now I'm just curious like for you guys do you okay I'm stumbling my words because I'm so excited I never knew for sure that I wanted kids yeah I was really unsure I was very uncertain for a long time now that I wanted kids. Yeah. I was really unsure. I was very uncertain for a long time. Now that I have a baby, I'm like, this is the best thing. I love it so much. And so I'm just curious, do you guys know where you stand with wanting kids or not wanting kids? Are you confused? Are

you certain? Are you clear? Cause I'm so interested in the people who know they want kids or just any of any of it. What a good question. I, you you know i'm now under this belief that if you're someone who's just been so indecisive about being a mom that you are the best candidate to be a parent because you're someone who has really like waited out in your mind who has really thought it through you're not just you know like it's not a spontaneous decision it's not a biological drive you're literally you've thought about it way more than most you've overthought it and so you're unsure i love that so i do think that girls if you're worried about a good parent being a good mom because you have been unsure in the past i

actually think you will turn out to be the best parent ever it's like narcissists like if you don't wonder if you're a narcissist then you are one right right right if you've never asked that question that's such a good question because I'm in that place I actually was joking on my podcast with Paige yesterday because a lot of girls will complain like when you get married everyone's like when are you having a baby when are you having a baby and I'm like literally no one's asked me and I'm like is there something I'm giving up I'm like actually I would love one person to wonder if I'm having a baby I'm like walking rooms I'm like the thing I'm like no one says anything so I and it's funny because i came from a very traditional family of like mom and dad together me and my brother italian family close when you

grow up you eventually get married have kids you also have a career it was very like simple no one was like questioning anything so then when i met des and he's older like he's past his like 30s hormones where men are like i want to make a baby and i was like i have arthritis like he's older. He's past his 30s hormones where men are like, I want to make a baby. And I was like, I have arthritis. He's like, I'm tired. So he's like, you know, it's kind of a life hack. You don't have to have kids. And I'm open.

I'm open to talking about anything. And I said, what do you mean? And he's just like, we're happy. We travel. We have our career. He jokes, but he's like's like why it up with kids and i'm like that's one perspective interesting we we had those conversations too for sure we were definitely like it will be okay if we don't yes like yeah i love animals me too like i love animals and then i'm

like just doesn't mean i'm gonna love kids or be like oh i could have had an animal more animals but ultimately i'm sick of myself and thinking of myself and obsessing over myself and thinking more about myself but i don't want you to be sick of yourself because i love you and i want you to keep doing what you're doing so don't be sick of yourself now we're crying i'm saying like wouldn't it be nice to like you know those moments where you forget about yourself for like 10 seconds you're like wait that was really nice like to have a kid to worry about seems like mentally healthy you know yeah yeah I feel that you get mixed messages the moms will be like it's the happiest you'll ever be but you'll never be happy again and stuff like

that and I'm like what riddles are the real shit? Like, and I know there's different stages and it's tons of variables, but like, it's hard to get the moms to just be like a hundred percent. You should do it. The PR for becoming a mom sucks. It's really bad about that. Cause that's really funny. That's interesting.

Like it, I just, just it everyone complains about it moms are just like wow wow i don't sleep wow my kids what when it's like it's way more fulfilling than that absolutely and that was so shocked that is why i feel so shocked being on the other side of it i'm like i love this so much this is the best thing i've ever done i can't believe i consider not doing it like i'm so happy and i don't think that's the truth for everyone like that's just me i i am so pleasantly surprised with how it's like the most amazing thing for me um but I also wouldn't want to tell people and maybe this is what other moms it's like I don't want to tell someone you need to have a kid because it might not it's not like it might not turn out that way yeah yeah do you feel like how do you

feel career-wise i have to ask oh my god hannah it's bad what do you mean it's really bad what do you mean it's a crisis really it is it's not good um you're like i am a homemaker and this is my last day actually she's nara smith she's been all over my feed nara smith is she okay yeah i think she's okay i feel like she's genuinely like she's better than all of us the smartest troll like i think she's trolling she's trolling the trad wife thing yeah like she knows exactly what she's doing she's a bright girl here's what i've realized about the trad wives online if you're posting and like doing deals you're not a trad wife you're not wait can you guys define it's not trade wife

right it's trad what the fuck traditional oh i literally didn't even know i thought it was like you're trading i thought it was some kind of yeah, what is it called with all the girls wearing the bonnets? Mormons? Quakers? Mormons. Handmaid's Tale. Oh, there's more of them. So you have to wear like a fluffy dress. No, it is a troll because if you're posting online, you're inherently not a trad wife.

A trad wife is hidden at home. Exactly. You know she makes a shit ton more than Lucky Blue, than her husband. Being as big as she is on social media, she's no longer a trad wife. But she cosplays it really well, and she's actually a very good chef.

Totally. No, it's a great character. I look at it like it's a character. It's a character she's playing. She's playing a mom on TV. Right. But she is also a mom. Also, if I was actually a trad wife doing that much cooking,

I would be behind on the laundry. I'd be behind on things you know yeah so you're going full trad wife i don't know hashtag trad era um so i am exactly three months out right now and i am raw it's raw as fuck i then that's how she came to the planet i i've definitely been going through a thing where i'm like i want to quit everything and i just want to be a mommy but then i also go i say that but i've also this whole three months been doing this podcast and i post on social media so i'm like clearly I'm not ready to like hide away forever and I'm I'm wondering like I did a few sets and then I was like wait I don't want to miss bedtime yeah but then I was like oh well she's gonna start going to bed really early and

then I can go after so I'm just in I'm kind of all over the place I'm leaning towards like oh I could just do this yeah but then I'm like I don't want to give up on this thing that I've been working on. And I don't know. I don't like how that feels too. I feel like it's different for a lot of people, but also you've been on such a like train of like putting yourself out there, exposing yourself, memorizing, creating.

Like you've been grinding and you've had so many dreams come true that it's almost like the universe is giving you a little rest maybe like you know you said earlier like to kind of get you out of yourself yeah i think having a baby like it is you are out of yourself you have this thing to care for so yeah yourself is on the the back burner oh 100 i'm i'm like me literally no ew get away from me like everything about me is so repulsive like a pre-motherhood me i'm like you were a fool you were disgusting you were a brat you were dirty you were unsanitary like i just feel this complete

change like the brain changes. Like, my brain is different. I have a whole new software system. Are you still a hot girl? I don't think I ever was a hot girl. I studied hot girls. Okay, it was ironic. You were, yeah, you were a researcher.

You were a researcher of hot girls. She lived in the forest, but she never became one. Yes, exactly. But does that, like, scare to hear that that this could happen? No, I think as someone who I really respect, like knowing that you can have a kid and feel joy from it brings me like happiness. Because I feel like you'll navigate your career wherever I just you could just get that fear of like, oh, fuck. Like it's postpartum when women are basically like the hormones are going crazy. But you're also

like oh i i'm not myself anymore postpartum is just like the term for after having a baby postpartum depression but also yes the hormones are crazy and they can make you any kind of which way i've had a little postpartum anxiety more so than depression yeah um i want them to normalize it because people still i feel like talk about it like I had this thing postpartum depression no that's crazy everyone has some I if anyone says I have postpartum depression I don't have a baby I feel like I have it every month like like right before I think they call it PMDD I haven't been diagnosed but like I'm a psychopath for at least I mean a secret psychopath like I don't necessarily take it out on others but like four weeks of the month i am but there's always like a couple days before my period where like my thoughts are like really

dark and sinister and i'm like oh like i'm gonna go scorched earth yeah i get actually too like introspective sometimes with pmsing where i'm like there's no purpose on this planet there's no reason a single tear rolls down it's like it's really dark but every month it's like that but this place where I've landed is was my worst fear and it's weird that's what life does to you though whatever's your worst fear yeah also Esther like you're three months no I know pardon I know people are looking at me like shut up bitch you don't know anything No, I mean, you're feeling everything right now. Yeah. Your body, your brain, it's recalibrating. Like, you know. Yeah. Yes. I think you should absolutely embrace feeling this way.

And then if that transitions into wanting to fully jump back into your career, embrace that, too. It's just going to be this. I feel like a lot of moms that I've seen in documentaries. I love watching documentaries of musicians and stuff. And they always go like, I actually can't wait to show my daughter, my son, how strong their mom is. So I think it eventually turns into you being a mother. Mom needs to be happy and fulfilled to be the best. Yes, that is true. I keep hearing the most important health in the house is the mom's mental health.

Preach. Happy mommy. I'm going to say that all the time, even when I don't have a kid. I'll be like, mom's health is important right now. What's your mom? Did you watch your mom and remember her as a happy mommy? Oh my gosh.

My mom was just such a type A mom. Like on top of everything all the time. She was going to school at night, like getting her master's. Wow. And she, she just was always just on. Are you like her? You know, I didn't get the caretaking gene that she got. Like my mom's an angel. Like it's incredible. Like she came over to my place for father's day. She's cleaning. Then I've never done that cleaning just cause she wants to like my husband would be don't let her clean like she likes it

like this what she does and she comes over to me she goes can I tweeze your chin a little bit and I'm like yeah she gets a tweezer for my bath there's tweezing my chin like she just is the best mom ever but then she's also a leader she was a principal of the middle school which was pretty badass for a woman like in the 90s yeah so I just have like this super mom um and I basically joke that whenever I think I'm pregnant I'm like does my mom have time to take care of me like I my mom would be involved in my kid's life a lot I think so I was very much like you where I'm like I don't know how to do cleaning and I don't, I'm not a caretaker, but then

the, the brain, it literally changes. And now I, I'm like that. And it's fucking weird. How crazy is that? Like it's, my brain has changed. Like I wake up, I vacuum. If there's free time, I'm dusting. Like, it's so weird.

I do want to be that. Like, I want to care enough about the floor that I like want to see it nice. You will. Like I wish I cared, but I just don't. Yeah, no, that's no that's how i was too can you show me how you dust no why you don't believe me next time we facetime can it be when you're dusting why how do you dust no i just it's if it's your first you know if it's your first real like attempt at dusting in your entire life i just want to see it okay i have a curiosity let me just explain i use a microfiber dust cloth okay oh wow what do you use can't afford that no i know you're a clean girl what no i just want to know like you take everything off step

stools getting to the fans getting to the places like oh really you wanted to have this conversation okay are you getting the hard places let's talk the dark corners yeah i yeah i've got i actually got out the bigger vacuum recently and i got there's cobwebs in the corners and i stood up on some yeah i did go there okay i did is that gonna be a one now is that a once a week clean no but i haven't figured out my cadence with it yet but you know i did it in may maybe touch base in the fall that's incredible you're actually thinking about like corn dark recesses of the home yeah it's mentally healthy when you start caring about your space yeah like i always joke that i would like move into an apartment and it would just look like a hospital room like i just wouldn't care for care it was college dorm room yeah my oh my god my college room was just a bed

that's all that it would fit and then I had like clothes hanging and I like there was a window so when people smoke weed the weed would just go in like it was crazy but I think it was a part of not self-hate but like yeah like you don't deserve something nice or it's just like I just didn't prioritize that I didn't care like i was so focused on my comedy and like my work life that like i didn't care what it looked like when i came home this show is sponsored after years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers if we've learned anything it's that there's always a catch so when i heard that for a limited time, all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15

a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel. George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls and the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at 15 bucks a month. And all

plans come with high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only.

Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. Answered by BetterHelp. Esther, you know that therapy is an indispensable part of my life. Girl. I am deeply unwell. Girl.

I'm in my postpartum therapy mindset, okay? I live and die by therapy. It is so important. The hormones that I am experiencing, I'm crying one minute, I am terrified the next. I guess those could be also in the same minute as well. But it's crazy out there, especially if you're dealing with postpartum and just general life. I don't need pregnancy to feel that way. I feel like you just described my everyday. And, you know, that's that's exactly it.

Right. Like life comes at you fast and it's important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, to process your losses, and make adjustments for the rest of the year. And if you're looking to give therapy a try, try BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. So I have been wearing Skims t-shirts for the last like four years and they're just my favorite comfy basic. I know I've told you this before and I turned you on to the boyfriend collection. I get that shirt for everyone in my family. My mom wears it, my dad wears it, my parents really like the long sleeves. Dave likes the short sleeves. I like them both. And then I'm also obsessed with the soft smoothing seamless t-shirts. They are so comfortable, but then they also are flattering. It's like the weirdest combo, but the,

the fabric is so soft. Well, that's what I love about skims is that comfort is my number one virtue when I dress myself. Like nothing, it's, I'm very uncompromising about comfort. And with skims, I don't have, I could still look really hot, sexy in an oversized tee and feel so nice and comfy. I know, like she fully nailed it with all these basics. Like also the cotton jersey long sleeve t-shirt. I wear that. You nailed it with all these basics like also the cotton jersey long sleeve t-shirt. I wear that. You wear that underneath all of your. I love it. It's so stretchy but it's

cottony. It's just such good quality too and I also as you guys know love the fits everybody collection and you guys can shop the Skims t-shirt shop at Skims.com now available in sizes double access to 4x and if you haven't yet be sure to let them know that we sent you okay because we're a skims family here the skims and the slugs they've combined and after you place your order select podcast in the survey and then select our show trash tuesday in the drop down menu that follows skim skim skim i feel like when you're little you get joy from little things and then getting older is like fighting to get joy in the little things again like I want to like clean a counter and be like

get like a dopamine hit yeah like I want to get there where right now I'd be like did I post a TikTok is it taking well like is someone commenting on the TikTok did I respond to that email and it's just like non-stop sorry not to brag about my mental health about what's going on in my mind at all times not to flex I really am excited you brought like I didn't want to bombard you with like mom questions but I'm just like really fascinated by your like mental trajectory no it's crazy I'm just I'm obsessed with it right now because I've waited so long to be on the other side and I always thought when I got to the other side all my questions would be answered immediately and they're just not like I'm just still kind of have questions still you know which is normal yeah were you

afraid your baby was gonna be ugly I expected my baby to be ugly I did I'm not gonna lie to you I was not the cutest baby can I recommend a crazy documentary yeah have you seen six schizophrenic brothers on max no six of them it's fucking insane so I'm not gonna give anything away but like there's six why can't I say six schizophrenic brothers and I'm not that familiar with schizophrenia so it's kind of fascinating to learn about but this italian catholic family is popping out kids and schizophrenia is fascinating because you can kind of have a genetic thing in you that doesn't like become ill except it's like if it's triggered by certain things it's like a turn off down regulate up regulate so like turn

on all the kids are healthy when they're young and then like at 21 they're like oh brad turned ill and he started like like seeing things and getting violent and they're like okay we have this son and we don't want to put him in a mental institution because it's like a horrible life so they're keeping him inside then they find out the other one is having it and then their younger kid at 14, like murder, suicide, someone like crazy shit. And they're like, OK, that's enough for the family. Right. No. Another brother like it becomes crazy.

And some of them or whatever word people use. So two of them are in mental hospitals right now is like older men. And they interview them. And it's just fucking fascinating. And then a crazy thing is the kid, one of the daughters who was not sick, has a kid who knows about his uncles. And he's so scared of getting one day waking up and losing his mind with schizophrenia. So he has this like anxiety. And they say like between 17 and 24 is like when it would happen for you.

And it was the kid was just like, I just can't wait till I'm'm 24 because really these kids would just wake up one day and like start hallucinating have like auditory hallucinations i did they ask this in a documentary and i will watch it now i have to watch it um did they um explore whether or not like the mom was exposed to like cat litter or cat poop what that's during her pregnancy that's very interesting they were blaming the mom's um parenting techniques in the beginning basically being like fucked up which is very and she apparently was like fuck you guys but she was really tough but like she was managing a house of fucking 12 kids yeah but they were trying to the scientists were trying to say it was her but they took the blood of a lot of them and realized like they all had a genetic disposition oh it's a genetic thing

wait did she have girls she had two girls at the end and they were i mean the girls are perfect always you know yeah well because i learned this thing in microbiology where like they flex take um i didn't just take it guys i tutored it three years you slut like after saving the world she's literally like a superhero i know it's so it's so sad because that's not true but thank you i'm glad you see what i see? No, literally model superhero. But there's this tie between like toxoplasmosis and schizophrenia. And it's a protozoan that shows up in cat poop. That's why they that mothers who eventually have kids who suffer from schizophrenia have a certain level of antibodies from this

particular like disease, which is toxoplasmosis. And that's why I'm sure you've heard stay away from cat litter when you're pregnant. But I wonder about these kids. Well, yeah, they really were. It's great that then they were like,

let's try to do research and learn from this genetic like situation of like 10 kids i guess six of the the boys were sick that's wild and yeah they it's it's very confusing the brain is very confusing now that some of them they range from like oh just you know like um manageable um schizophrenia to like oh this person has to be you know in the mental hospital forever three of them two of them three of them committed suicide lord okay and three and two it was it was all really extreme and it would it would get worse and they were doing like shock therapy on some of them And then these mental hospitals were just a place where people get worse. They put you there just to get worse.

So it was kind of this, do we leave him with the family, with the other kids? And then they were afraid that it was getting contagious or something. The poor mom is just trying to have a happy family. So I didn't let Des watch that because i'm trying to convince them to have kids this is sort of some in the same vein there's i'm not sure of the title of the documentary but it's basically like three identical brothers oh yeah um but they later find out that the reason they were separated at birth

was not what they were told they were told that they were given up by the mom and then they were split up to three different families. But it was actually an experiment. Oh, wait, I didn't finish the documentary. Really? I never knew that. It was an experiment conducted regarding nurture versus nature. That's crazy.

I know. And it's so fucked up because it's like well you know when they met obviously they were magnetized to each other and they were like we're probably got along really well they had so many similarities but it was fucked up that they conducted these experiments on these brothers that could have lived a life together and what did they discover that it was nature primarily it's it's both yeah yeah i think benny brown says has a very famous quote where she talks about some uh like addicts and she says that like nature loads the gun and nurture pulls the trigger that's and that was the schizophrenia thing where one of the guys

like he had a really bad breakup and two months later it flared so it's like little traumatic i wish that would happen to an ex though like i've never seen a guy break up with me and then like become schizophrenic and i would like to have had that in my past wait have you are they sad when they leave you no they're always they thrive are you kidding like it's a hundred men just thriving wait but because literally my two ex-boyfriends started the biggest podcast. Oh, that's right. Kill Tony.

They literally, after they both dumped me, went on and then started. You're like, they dumped me at the same time. Then they have a podcast that sells out arenas. I actually did not know about that history. But you know what that makes you? A kingmaker. Yeah, you're right. They couldn't have done it without me.

You gave them the belief in themselves to get started. So I've been home pregnant, you have been everywhere because you know what your problem is when you're done with your stand-up tour you're on the giggly squad tour and then when that's done you go back on the fucking agent talk to that man who is riding me into the ground no i'm running from my thoughts um i love it and I want to talk to you about this. Yeah. Because what's your like airport game? Oh, what?

What do you? Because I've been out of my favorite subject. I haven't traveled in a while. I mean, I forgot. I'm telling me, help me. So it's sad because my home life is like kind of dark as in like my apartment is just full of like luggage all over different. Like I like eight different.

I just keep buying cheap Amazon luggage that like breaks or like i'll buy amazon underwear just to keep it like it's oh wait i do cosign amazon underwear is quite all right i love the granny panties they're great oh my god my auntie's panties are the best we need to get you some skims underwear and a base we need shay mitchell luggage for you oh yes yeah but this is the thing i'm not when i get home from so many things, I don't like to unpack. So I just am like, bring in the next. There are people who actually unpack. And I think that's a little bit psychotic as well.

It's like, it has to stay there at least two weeks before I even have a peek. Or I have to like lose something and be like, is it in this thing? Yeah, exactly. And then I guess I have to put it away. No, I get anxiety when I'm home during the tour time because it's such a chaotic. There's no food in the fridge because Des is also traveling. So we're like, yes, that is hard. So I'll get home and I get more anxious. And then when I'm like, oh, I can get on a plane, go to a hotel room. Everything's clean. Go on stage. Do what I know works. It becomes like simple for me.

And sometimes I'm kind of bad at just managing a normal day. Like I'll get morning anxiety. Like you ever have nothing to do and you wake up and you're like, there's so many things that I could do today. That's what I wanted to ask you. Cause I know that you went, I don't know if it was a work vacation or if it was just a family vacation, but are you able to go on a real break on a real vacation let's say for 10 days somewhere and 10 days is too long 10 days i got it i got a little like what's the feeling like you just feel like you're missing out like four days it's more like i have fun creating stuff and i like to feel like I accomplished something today. I totally relate to that. It's little things.

Like, I don't need to, like, write a book. I just like to be like, oh, I tweeted something silly or I thought of, I just like thinking of ideas that become physical things. And I just, maybe because my whole life, it is very result oriented, which I'm working on. But, like, lying on the beach all day, I get, I'll literally then be like, okay, what's the game? Like I get, sitting in silence makes me feel upset. But I also, I think that that's great and actually not a bad thing

because to me, all I'm hearing is you have a passion and you wanna be at your passion. I was, as a kid, like we'd all be hanging out and I'd be like let's like act something out yes like it's what i like we would have had so much fun no we would have had so much fun think of the forts we would have built oh my god like like i'm like let's make a dance like that's just what i like to do and i feel lucky i'm not lucky i actually could not do anything else and was pushed out of everything else to get to this place where I can just do what's fun yeah but I

actually love the traveling and I I feel like some people are like you know it sucks like artists will be like when you have the crowd and there's all these people and then you go home and you're just it all gets silent and you're just alone and I'm like that's the best I know and you order postmates or room service Paige and I will literally be in the meet and greet ordering uber eats so that because we're like okay we have like 26 more minutes it's like 35 look at the mcdonald's will be there but um i like i like to reward myself and i think something i should work on is like feeling like you can reward yourself not doing anything yeah and that's just like that'll be growth and stuff yes but i love i look insane in airports like i have i like baggy shirts sweatpants i really dress like a little teenage

boy well that's i feel like esther and i probably know different there i don't know how people wear jeans on a plane oh i well it's it's i respect it and i when people put put together and they have a little kitten heel and they're wearing something kitten heels are harder to walk in the normal heels i know i agree i agree there's no balance i actually wore tried to wear jeans on a flight recently and i had to buy sweatpants at the airport i was like actually i'll take these horrific bright blue malibu sweat pants at lax they were so ugly now actually i do like those ones those are cute you do okay i'll wear them it's so funny but i was like oh no i'm not doing the flight i'm not flying to austin in these jeans i can't do it but i do envy people who look very coiffed and put together and they just have their,

you know, their skin routine on the plane and they come out looking like just rich jet setters. I can't. That's not me. That will never be me. Like they get off the plane to the hotel bar. Right. I feel like I also respect the people that dress very like celebrity, like, like they

got a cool hat on and like, I don't know, just cool stuff. I love that too. I can't pull off a hat. I look look weird my head's too small for hats and i don't even look like i have a small head but i have a peanut head apparently it just like goes like my ears look weird and i don't know i can't wear a hat also hat brings more attention to you i feel like anyway i can't pull it off i just look like yeah i don't that would be me like hat scarf sunglasses like don't look at me it's so dramatic everyone's like are you okay and then i i'm really good at sleeping on planes and then i just get to the hotel i love a hotel i love feeling like i'm i'm a different i'm a clean person i'm like i'll see like one towel

out of place i'm like what the fuck is this shit then i i i honestly sleep so much i'm either like on or i'm asleep really i'm so envious of that there's um the limit does not exist to the amount of sleep i'll want to get in a day this is so this is music to my ears i'll nap but like up until half an hour before my show i have friends who are like nope five hours and i'm good to go i'm like how like at night yeah at night and they're at the gym at like four in the morning i'm like no sleep is supreme like i want to be minimum nine i i think i will herkle dirkle for another three women need more i think yeah and people don't talk about that enough. They don't. We do. Or I made that up, but I think we do.

No, you didn't. I think it just said Hercule Durkle. So you can make up anything you want. Hercule Durkle, I think, is a Scottish term I just learned. And apparently it's my favorite hobby, which is rolling around in bed and dissociating. Oh. Okay, good. Yeah.

That's hard because you're in bed scrolling, right? And you're like, don't want to start the day because then you have to like address the day. So if you just stay in bed, you're like, we're not you're in this like limbo of safety. You know, I have morning anxiety. And I actually I'm my best at like 9 p.m. at night when I'm like, oh, everyone's done today. There's no pressure on the day. I do whatever the fuck I want now.

No. And then I'm like, I'm creative. My husband's like passed out by 10. I'm fucking like running around. I'm thinking of new ideas the whole day. I'm creative my husband's like passed out by 10 I'm fucking like running around I'm I'm thinking of new ideas the whole day I'm useless that is so interesting and what you said about like there's too many options I've discovered that like I was just talking about this on a TikTok but like I feel that before I had the baby every day was like going to lunch at the Cheesecake Factory like there's too many options in life like I can go I can go to the gym, but I want to.

If I don't go, am I going to be mad at myself? Should I go? Yeah. Who am I hanging out with? Whatever. Like so many things. What work should I be doing? Yes.

But then now having the baby, it's like, oh, I know what I'm doing. Like, so there's like nice direction in like a clear way. Yeah. That's the hard thing about being an entrepreneur. It's like you want the freedom, but then freedom is also like. It's its own prison it's a prison where you're like i just my things i love five o'clock when i'm like why didn't i just fucking go to the gym at 10 instead of herkel dirkling until 5 p.m and now it's like obviously i'm too hungry to go to the gym because i have to eat and then i have to digest then it's like nine you can go to the gym but i do think that

herkel dirkling has its purpose and i think that is like when you are it's like um it's like pre-production it's like that's when all of your creative juices need to sort of be harnessed so you're kind of just like rolling around but you're kind of powering up in a way i would guess that all of us herkul dirkul and it's like we're scrolling tiktok we're looking for ideas and thoughts and stuff so that is the only thing that gets me out of bed is having to eat breakfast me too that's or coffee or i'm thirsty or i have to like shit myself that's the only thing i'm not leaving bed my husband should be like come on he's a morning person which is oh no oh no a fucking nightmare

a fucking i don't know what lesson i have to learn we were talking about non-negotiables i can't have morning people he pops in he's like i already walked you know 10 miles and i coughed and i played 18 holes and what's up but then at 10 p.m that's me i'm like hello and he's like i'm fucking tired i should have done this in the morning like we just miss each other i'm basically single i say like when he's asleep i'm awake we've never seen each other we have this to an opposite he's up till 4 a.m and i'm up really early which has been helpful for taking care of a baby like so helpful um but no same like i feel during all of covid we were living together but it was like i would just see him in the hallway like you know

like hey we were never a desolate nap middle of the day and that's when i'm like finally getting out of bed but also he said he's worried about me being a mom and i told him that i think stuff will come over me and i'll become that person you will my mom's amazing like i have to have some of it i'm here to tell you it happens it happens but he was like you hate waking up early and i was like okay well i can lie there and my tits out like take the baby put it on my boob but you also are not someone who likes to fail or let people down so like inherently you're like covered yeah the you have nothing to worry about yeah hannah when i think about um people that shouldn't know what you can be a when i think about um people that shouldn't

no no you can be a mother if you want but people that maybe should reconsider children you're not one of them so savage in the most subtle way you're not one of them because you're a fucking athlete yeah you're i mean that's just ingrained in you you're gonna think of motherhood as just a sport you're about to like dominate. I think I also like do love kids, but I never associated that with like why you should be a mother. Like I think some people love kids, but it doesn't mean you need to like own one. Oh, that's the opposite of me. I never really was that into kids. I'm obsessed with the kids. If there's a kid in the room, I'm like, hi, hi.

Now I am though. But that's funny. I could see you being. No, I'm literally like i crush with my um my niece like she thinks i'm the funniest now she's the cutest thing ever she's two oh my god she's growing so fast she's going so fast and like everyone be trying to make her laugh and i go i have really good toddler humor like that's my shtick right now like i'll make that bitch laugh and she watches all my videos because she

lives in indiana she watches my my reels on mute she does because i'm always talking about like so she's she always watches me and she's like so that's so it's nice i'm obsessed with her but that's the thing she's also a really good baby so then i'm like my baby's gonna be like annoying sarcastic crazy um i feel like that's my baby's going to be like annoying, sarcastic, crazy. I feel like that's my. She's setting a really high bar. I'm manifesting that my baby's going to have Dave's personality. That's what I.

Because he's like calm and like he's just. I don't want to wacko like me. So I'm just like, I think she's going to be like him. I love that you have a Dave because I could have had a Dave. What do you mean? Des is not calm mean des is not calm des is not calm he is but he's old he's a protector he's old and that's why i waited till he's 47 to chill out a little you gotta get them when they're weakening i could see fighting though being like that's because you're fucking sad of the family you know that's your

fucking grandpa who you said was like that i try to explain it because i was actually a pretty good kid like i slept through the night like the little things and he's like i wasn't and i was like we'll see and he has three brothers so like his poor mom oh my gosh yeah three brothers yeah oh sorry two so it's the three of them so he's like we're definitely gonna have boys which is not does she love you though because you're like there's a girl there his mom yeah she's dead you know sorry i mean r.i.p but also like best case scenario everyone's jealous everyone's so he has no parents he's an orphan dreamy literally dreamy i could yeah holidays are it's like we're going to my mom although i will say as someone who didn't have grandparents from

my dad's side because he was just like too old there is like a curiosity there for like when people are like you know um what do they call grandparents oh yeah i didn't have that i had to have it short for a short time and my mom's side and my grandma was the best so i wish i had that on grandparents are always the best yeah like why are your parents always so much better to the kid that they are yes like they're more like it's light it's easy it's fun they love it or with you they feel so much pressure um but yeah it's funny because my mom still has both her parents still alive and des doesn't but it is oh wow it's so weird but we'll have these like imaginary fights where i'm like your mom would have loved me and he's like oh no she was tough i don't know

oh no so we have that oh i love that i love making up fantasies about what his dead relatives would think of you i don't know why i'm really i think i'm drawn to that deeply um when i was at the end of my pregnancy and i was like really just hoping the baby would just come early and she was looking for like illegal c-sections yeah i was like on reddit on reddit slash illegal c-section um i found out that dave was late as a baby and i like just turned to him in a rage i was like you never told me you were late when i got pregnant with with your baby like i was suddenly blaming him for that the hormones like a psychic once told me that i'm gonna be crazy when i'm pregnant which is crazy because i've never been crazy so i'm like where's that coming from but were the hormones like a different kind of hormones? So for me, I was so uncomfortable the whole time that that was like.

We're also like, this is a small furnace that we're cooking in. Absolutely. I'm so jealous of my tall friends. They're like a Cadillac compared to what I am. Like you guys would be completely fine. But for me, there's just, there was no room. It's like in your throat. Truly. Like acid reflux from like day one oh my god you poor thing our babies are like fully stretched out in there

yeah no you guys you guys are great ovens i'm jealous um but so i never felt like any i i didn't i was just purely discomfort the whole time and then afterwards I had like the euphoria and then a little bit of anxiety and I'm just kind of like straddling those kinds of things right now so talk about extremes truly she's like the greatest feeling ever and I'm scared the world's ending yeah at the same time exactly which is kind of like life um truly also would you be down for another yeah I would and they're laughing because they lived through my nine months of pregnancy where every day i showed up to work and said don't ever fucking do this i'm never doing it again one and done i've just completely betrayed my old self i have

journals of me saying do not ever do this again and i look at them like fuck that bitch like i don't care but i don't know i'm gonna like yeah see it reminds me of a curbed episode where this girl was like larry whatever happens don't let me get dessert i'm gonna tell you i want dessert i'm gonna say forget about it but like don't let me get the dessert and then like at the end of the meal she's like it's okay i just want some dessert and he's like no you told me you're gonna do this and she's like give me fucking dessert larry i want. And there's like a whole brawl and stuff. That's you getting pregnant. That is also me getting dessert.

It's like, I'm going to say I didn't want it. It's what's going to happen. I'm going to try to convince you. Not to turn sexual, but that's exactly how I got pregnant when I was younger. What do you mean? It's that same Larry David david conversation of i'm gonna tell you to come in me but don't and i'm gonna seem really convincing and i'm gonna look

you dead in the eyes you look like i want it but i'm gonna say crazy things like i want you you're gonna be a great dad and you you're you cannot listen to me you do not bring up fatherhood in the bedroom. I do, because I have original recipe kink. And that's what turns me on and stuff. Some people get turned on by motherhood, like make me a mom. And so when they do, I'm like, why'd you do that? Now I gotta go get a Julie. What the fuck?

That's so funny. I know. Wait, that's so funny. It's very, very dangerous. Do not recommend. I'm going to say this. Do not recommend it. And I'm going to be really convincing.

Yeah, but I do give them that whole like talk before because I think it's important for them to know. You're like, I'll win an Oscar. That's how convincing I am. Yeah, and it's like. It's a shtick. It's a bit. You'll win a baby.

That's how convincing you are. You'll play stupid games, you know. Whatever turns you on. Not to bring sexual, but you started it. Have you heard of the, what is it, the orgasm as you have the baby? Is that? I am so confused by that. Do you know about this?

Yes, I have heard of it. What is it called? It bothers me because it's basically like if you're having a son like you could be like son you made me come ew yeah no it's called orgasmic birth orgasmic birth yeah see look at some point like why like what why i've no because i mean it is right it's contractions right yeah but no but it's also like it's a thing apparently I'm gonna come at any other time that was not on my menu like that was not in your birth plan no I guess they'll really have it in their birth plan they'll train for it and it'll

be like a whole thing okay it says that it appears it could be possible however evidence of this is largely anecdotal oh interesting they're saying she these women are faking orgasms or maybe they've never had one and they think that and they think like the ring of fire is i honestly feel like birth is so magical and amazing like you don't need to also bring an orgasm i don't need to keep those separate baby no i don't want to come on my baby yeah yeah it's saying that it's that makes you feel like very relaxed or like high and so then that can kind of create an orgasm because you're in a space of like you know but if it's like something prolonged euphoria that's not the same as my eyes crossing when i come like that's different okay

right for sure it's very graphic but you know you know what i mean like euphoric i can understand where you're just in this like it is you for a state right yeah it is funny because when you think of things logically you're like that is so scary but how the body prepares you for all these it's mind-blowing i was so scared to give birth i literally had a c-section on the schedule i was like i don't want to push i don't want to go through any of that and then just like at the 11th hour a lot of things to you like you were because klyla went to nursing, so I go to her for my medical advice. So she's your doctor? Yes, legally. I was on call during labor. She was, her and my doctor were both like, you should not have a C-section. Like, they convinced me to try for the vaginal birth, and I'm so glad that I did.

I forgot what I was saying, because I'm so distracted by my vaginal birth. She's like, I just wanted to say vaginal birth. so distracted by my vaginal birth she's like i just wanted to say vaginal birth one of the funniest things about your one of the funniest i knew how the body handled it yes thank you it really does just happen you're like oh that's crazy one of the funny funniest things about your vaginal birth though thank you is when you thought you for sure were ready for an epidural and you thought you were like five oh yeah years dilated and then they told you you were 0.5 wait that's so that's like running a mile and they're like you've walked three steps no and the worst part is there's no such thing as 0.5 they made that up like It was like, you're not open at all.

They literally said.5 and then behind my back winked at Dave. And I thought when I read the text, I missed the decimal point. And I replied with, oh my God, you're halfway there. Thinking there's no way she would report.5. But she reported back.5. I just read the text wrong wait what was the vibe did you have music like what was the energy there was no music it was i was induced so it was like a 24 hour period of like contractions and stuff but i got an epidural like pretty early earlier

than they recommend i know i love feeling not any I love not feeling my legs and having a catheter in. It was the best day of my life. But I did not have music, but it was just me and Dave. I didn't want anyone else there. It was just me, Dave, and a team of nurses, which are essentially like my favorite people, my superheroes. Or essential workers. Yeah.

Yeah. It's also annoying because my mom had like no drugs. My favorite people. My superheroes. Or essential workers. Yeah. Yeah. It's also annoying because my mom had like no drugs. Oh, my mom too. I think it was a thing maybe in the early 90s. And she was just like, yeah, I did it with nothing. I just did it raw. And I'm like, am I less of a woman?

Because my mom did it. So if I ask for an epidural, am I like pussy? No. No. Thank you. Thank you. But I literally did see a TikTok of this woman giving a natural birth with no pain intervention whatsoever. And she goes, that was horrible. I would never do that again.

And then she stitched it and it was like six months later. She's like, I'm going to do it again. I mean, it has to be some type of amnesia. It's crazy. You don't have to be a hero. You don't have to be a hero. You don't have to be a hero. And some people have different levels. You know, some people get IUD and it's like it's the worst feeling ever.

And then some people are like, I didn't feel anything. Right. We all have different. Dude, my best friend's mom apparently didn't feel any contractions until she was ready to push. Zero. And apparently that happens to some women. she was ready to push. Zero. And apparently that happens to some women. So it's like, you just

don't know where you land on that spectrum of pain when the pain kicks in. But she had no contractions, which made it dangerous for her because it was hard to tell when it was close. Did you like your pregnancy fashion?

I was so unhappy. And so unmotivated hailey bieber is like serving she's doing such a good job with it she's going hard i had a couple cute looks that i liked i feel like you definitely did a couple like i really liked once my belly popped and like my favorite was like just a simple black cardigan with a little bit of opening for the belly like i like that subtle that was subtle yeah yeah just a little rihanna um wait so you shot your special it's coming out yes what now oh my god oh my gosh like what's what's well more touring it's funny because people are like you put out a special and then they're like okay let's put out another special i'm like whoa whoa how many netflix specials does one person need i'm like

is it greedy i don't need two netflix specials that's insane um i joked i'm retiring no i have to start from scratch with material which is my first ever time doing it so it's kind of like you can play tricks with your head like oh my gosh like my gosh, like I was that material. And I love my like I'm not one of those people that was like, I can't wait to get rid of it. Like I love these bits. Like I really love them. And they're so like tested, tried and true. But I'm excited to delve into.

I just haven't started writing new bits yet. I know that feeling. It's truly like whenever I'm in that position i'm 100 convinced oh i'll never write something new ever again how did i ever write a joke yeah no it'll never happen again and then you just go through the motions of how you do it and it happens and then like i think the high of a new bit just like gets you going also i needed a little pressure like i need i'm not i don't want pressure but i think when you finally like have to put something together, you'll have it. So be going the road and trying to create. But I also don't want to force myself to like put together an hour too fast or anything.

Like I really want to try to like be a little nicer to myself this time because I and and celebrate like what I did. You know, instead of immediately being like, where's the next fucking hour? So and yeah I just hope that it connects with girls and I might try to get into some acting I've been talking it's funny because I've literally never acted I keep being like I want to be an actor I'm like what if I try it and I like hate it you're but just being you're a performer so it's yeah it's all cross-training for the other things also connected yeah so I just want to like keep creating and having fun and keep trying to keep my ego out of everything that's like been my

number one thing because my ego was very like into my tennis career was very like i'm either great or i'm not yeah where this is more like i want to wake up be happy express myself all that bullshit that's so beautiful i'm trying i'm trying to be beautiful did you like challengers i um actually did not support the challengers movie um sorry there's gonna be some drama i love zendaya obsessed with her i could not support the movie they were like she's the greatest athlete of all time and she was like holding the racket wrong. And I can't. I mean, I support. The reason that I am so on board with this is because if I watch any swimming scene and I see that the cap is. You just know when an athlete has done it 50 million times their entire life versus getting a tutorial for five hours yeah like every single

the way they stretch before the way they move the way every tiny thing matters yeah so i know what you mean i don't mean to make it like a girl guy thing but it's like i love that we're putting women's sports out there but don't it's like a football movie being like he's the greatest football player of all time and he's like throwing it from the wrong like part of the football. Like that's how bad it was. Like how she was holding the racket. And the boys were not much better. Also, I can go on a whole rant about this, but like tennis men are hot.

Like they're 6'4". They're tall. They're sexy. British guys are not good at tennis. Irish guys are not good at tennis. I don't know what kind of guys those were. Those were not what hot tennis. They're all like hot like spaniards and you know serbs like i want these fucking like guys who could go to war like that they're very fucking hot tennis guys then i

heard they didn't even show the threesome oh nothing was shown i didn't watch it i only watched the first half i have a problem with that i like that they're raising awareness about tennis it's great they could have done a lot more justice for the game if they're gonna be like this is the greatest dance for all time it also makes me it's also like like get some girls with like a little muscle or like and like she's fine she's tall there are tall girls like that but just put some respect on the sport yeah i know what you mean but again it was the fashion of it all was great and tennis is very cool right now so i respect that that must be weird for you that it's like on trend yeah it's so weird and then i have

my friends who will be like influencers posting tennis stuff and i'm like do you guys want to learn how to play like i'll give people lessons like do you guys want to know i also really love break point on netflix it was amazing yeah do you um watch any like f1 stuff like formula absolutely not i never got into the f1 stuff even if you don't because i you disgusting pick me bitch no no no i'm telling you i watch none of it none of it my dad did right he was like but i watched none of it over my dad's shoulder once but the documentaries these docu-series are so compelling and so good you care more about the drama it's reality tv yeah that's what sports ultimately is i love when you cursed it makes me so happy like i love when she becomes a little nasty little bitch i think it's so funny all that stuff and break point like drama whether or not you follow it it's good drama but the

problem with tennis as opposed to f1 where f1 there's a lot of talking involved tennis is like you on the court alone so either i think they weren't able to get as much drama as they wanted because tennis players are all about like not showing anything right you're not upset you're not scared you're not nervous like they weren't being as open because you can't as a tennis player you have to be like perfect but i love the insight into the world of professionals me too it's crazy me too obsessed i would love one day for you to teach me how to play tennis. I would love to break up our friendship, but I'm ready. It is like therapy being a tennis coach. Cause like it's vulnerable. You're like learning how to do something. You see

how people talk to themselves. Like they'll get really mad. Like some friends you wouldn't expect. And they're like, you fucking suck. Okay. Like you've never even what? i i i take pride in being able to like find your your struggle and trying to like help you get through because you're just battling yourself on the court that's what tennis is because you're like this pro tennis athlete do you have like are you do you laugh at pickleball do you have interest in pickleball so the tennis community is very anti-pickleball because they're turning a lot of tennis courts into pickleball courts however i love that people are just out there playing like racket sports i love that people are getting involved in stuff and tennis is fucking so hard um in terms of the technique like if you haven't been doing it for

years like it's not it's very difficult and it's expensive like there's so many reasons people don't do tennis so i'm not mad about it. I haven't played pickleball because I'm afraid if I start, I'm going to become addicted and then quit my job and go on the pro pickleball tour. So that's my own. What about the delivery? But why do I know how real that is?

That's like actually not funny. It's not funny at all. You'd be the best, the number one in the world. Well, they joke that like there's all these things of people pick up pickleball and they're like, I've been playing for two years and getting lessons. And then one tennis player shows up on the court and you're just like, bah, bah, bah. Because it's basically just the easiest version of tennis.

Well, that's what I was going to ask you. It's like, are there pickleball people who are like, oh, no, I can do what you do in tennis or they have that they form a delusion because they think they're so good at pickleball. The only good pickleball players, I think, are people who definitely are good at tennis. There may be a couple like phenoms. But a lot of retired tennis players are going on the pro pickleball tour now. Because their bodies didn't hold up with tennis or they're bored or whatever. There's pickleball coming up on the tennis channel now.

This is what I do. I feel like you should do this. You know, I might to like write something funny like yeah like an acting type thing about like tennis pickleball type stuff yeah or something there there needs to be like a celebrity pickleball tournament charity pickleball event i'm there yeah i'm there i'm manifesting that for you there's a lot of guys would be like oh if i trained a little i could beat you and it's like no you wouldn't and you never would like like, oh, if I trained a little, I could beat you. And it's like, no, you wouldn't. And you never would. Like, I could literally like lose both arms and just be a torso and you still wouldn't beat me in tennis. But I like it's an ache of a guy's not good at any sport for me.

But that's because I have a weird sports family. Yeah. I'm like, what have you been doing your whole life? You didn't get good at one sport. But I think that's sort of like my sickness as well is that like when I'm attracted to someone, there has to be excellence in one part of their life. Like they have to be excellent at one thing. No, because you want someone who can pursue something and chase it and have a dream. Like that's hot. Yeah.

I also am attracted to guys who physically look like they can throw a ball farther than me. And like I look like I could throw a ball pretty far. So like that's why I think I like like massive men is my own insecurities like i don't want to yeah i'm gonna feel like a dainty little flower without being a dainty flower i love that it's such a boy thing never have you ever heard a girl say well i could i could beat you with this like never like my whole life it's like imagine you meet a guy i'm like oh you play tennis your whole life if i trained a little i could beat you they'm like, oh, you play tennis your whole life? If I trained to look, it'd be you. They say that. That's what I've heard my whole life in regards to like swimming.

And I'm like, again, like you, it's like you could chop off all my limbs and I'd still lap you. We'd always become a sports podcast together. I know. Do you remember that full ESPN podcast the last time we did it? We were like crying, holding each other, talking about ballerina. Oh, yeah. Wait, that was so special. It was so special do you know that esther has aspirations to be a dance mom how do you feel about that i love that yeah i'm it's that's where

things are headed i took my daughter it turns out if your baby can't walk crawl sit or stand she can't dance i didn't realize that when i took her to ballet last Saturday. Wait, I'm already starting. But now she can at least tell when, when she's in dance class, she can say she started at 11 weeks old. She's looking at the camera. That's right, Ace. I'm looking at you. Yeah, I do want to eventually transition into dance teacher, dance studio operator. Like, I think that is where things are headed it's going to be a slow build but I might pick up some classes here and there to

I want to teach what would your like vibe be as a teacher what's your character I think I'm gonna be pretty strict wait she's quiet and like I think I'm going to be pretty strict. Wait, she's quiet and like sighs every now and then when you're disappointed. I think that I will. The fun comes from the work. Oh, I just got scared. I know.

But also, like, did you not want to pick up a racket just now? I just wanted to make you proud of me. I'm ready to it turned something on inside of me and like oh i i gotta where's my where's my gear i gotta yeah no and if you have a plan b you'll use it so you don't need one i am ready to be an inspiration in the dance community i don't want my class going out in the world and... Embarrassing. Exactly. Or embarrassing themselves. I want them to go out there and feel good.

And on that note, I have to go home and relieve Dave of his shift. Hannah. Thank you for having me. I am so happy that I got to see you. Like, I have been missing you. This is literally my excuse to see you guys. Because Klyla and I have only seen each other recording.

I know. It's so funny. I know. But no, this is like my comfort pod. We're going to come to New York at some point this year. And we're going to be all over you. We're going to be walking. And maybe we might start having guests.

So that would be fun. That is so. Really? We may. Oh, my God. I'm such a giggler. You guys are so funny. Like, truly, the funniest things on TikTok are from are from you too oh my god thank you we have the weirdest chemistry the craziest chemistry

ever but also you and page the next time you're in town together we would love to have you both oh we i i need to get page on and we just want to hang out also that would be amazing sleepover or when Paige is solo I'll send her too sleepover whatever it has to be babysit Hannah thank you for being here

and everyone go watch our Netflix special we ride at dawn it's coming out on July 9th and I can't wait to watch it all over again I had so much fun watching you live

and go see her on tour. Where can people get tickets? Oh, yeah. HannahBrenner.com. I guess I do have a couple shows left. Yeah. She's never stopping. All right.

And slugs, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye. Bye. Bye.