Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - What To Do When You Hate Your Friend’s Partner + Fan Q’s! - Ep 149

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Starting point is 00:02:11 She has a pregnancy. Fuming. I'm fuming. I was like, I can't believe this. Oh, I'll do it. Do you guys know George? Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday.

Starting point is 00:02:31 That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Slugs, it's the end of the year and I am so excited. The last dates of my tour are coming up right around the corner. January 7th, I'll see you in San Jose. January 18th in Portland and January 26th, I'll be in Seattle. You can get tickets at estheronice.com. I cannot wait. These are my favorite places to visit. I saved the best for last. Hi sluggies. I'm tuning in live for my Christmas Eve party. I'm in Philadelphia with the fam. I just wanted to let you know

Starting point is 00:03:05 where you can see me on the road. I'm so excited. I've got great dates coming up. I'm going to be January 12th and 13th. I'll be in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada at the comic strip. I'm then going to be at the comedy store doing my next Annie Wooden Friends. They've been so fun and amazing.

Starting point is 00:03:22 That's January 23rd. I'm going to be in Denver, Colorado, February 16th and 17th, Vancouver, BC for the just for laughs comedy festival, February 21st, 22nd. I'm going to be in March,

Starting point is 00:03:33 an amazing run of shows. I'm going to be in Fort Worth, Texas, March 1st and 2nd, March 8th and 9th. I'm coming back to New Mexico. I'm so excited. This is my first weekend in New Mexico.

Starting point is 00:03:43 I'm going to be in Albuquerque. I'm going to be in Washington, DC at the DC at the D.C. Comedy Loft, March 22nd and 23rd. And Jacksonville, Florida is rescheduled for June 28th and 29th. I cannot wait to see you guys. And I can see you every Thursday on Annie Wood. Love you guys. Happy holidays. But who knows where I'm jumping to? And she's super sweet and I'm totally I'm excited to hang out with her. But I was like, is that kind of how this starts? Wait, okay. This stuff doesn't happen to me or maybe it does. And I just reject it. And, um, when it was offered to me, but now that I want it, it's not offered to me. Well, when I wanted it, it was nowhere to be found and now I'm pregnant and there's no,

Starting point is 00:04:23 it's not on the table. Maybe it'll happen. So now that's why. Yeah. So you're saying I have to get pregnant in order to like live out my threesome fantasy. Well, you know how like the universe will like give you the things. Like if you say I don't want an adult actress right now, the universe just hears adult actress and gives it to you. Okay. And you're coming too desperate. You're coming from a place of lack of an adult actress correct correct third i i will say this though

Starting point is 00:04:49 the most legendary thing you could possibly do is have a threesome while you're pregnant it's a foursome it's a foursome oh my god your kid might not like that but then the kid turns 13 starts googling mommy see what mommy was up to find out i'm gonna like film it no no i just mean this this moment it's not but i will say this the threesome though is with a woman and it's not like the kid is like oh there was another dick inside mom no it's just it's it's fine oh my god totally allowed this and you know i think okay so todd's always like you could hook up with a girl. And I'm like.

Starting point is 00:05:25 What? Yeah, but he so like doesn't understand the power of lesbians. Correct. It's dangerous. I'm like, Todd, lesbians will steal your girl. A hundred percent. They will steal your girl. And after what I saw at that lesbian party, I'm like, I'm interested.

Starting point is 00:05:39 I can't wait to leave Todd at 50 years old with the children and the snakes for a woman. Oh, you're leaving him with the children oh I'm abandoning my life to become like a full-blown life Esther get on board we don't take the children okay obviously we go live out the full lesbian fantasy on an island well I'm having a kid old I'm having a kid old so I can't like if I wait till they're 18 it's gonna be too dried up right I gotta leave them young no way I'm going full blast hormones, baby. Well, you know, you know that, you know, the thing about, okay, two things is your, your subconscious and your thoughts about yourself are supposed to develop like from birth to age seven. Like the things that you hear under seven are like the things that stick with you.

Starting point is 00:06:20 That's how you like place your identity and stuff. So we're basically, when we do all this work on ourselves, we're just trying to undo those things. Also. The amount of pressure that puts on a parent to know that is so scary. As it should. But Gabor Mate also says

Starting point is 00:06:34 that you cannot go wrong. Like there's a lot of things you think your child needs, but really it just needs consistent love. Yeah. And that feeling of like mom and dad care and love me yeah also and sorry that we'll go back to what you're saying because i am excited to hear it but my best friend's mom

Starting point is 00:06:53 we were talking about like you know what how my parents f**k me up whatever how anyone's parents mess them up and she's like whatever you think you're fixing you're gonna mess them up. And she's like, whatever you think you're fixing, you're going to mess them up in that different way. I was like, oh, that takes so much pressure off. Okay. I think it's intuitive, intuitive. I have no clue about parenting. I've never even heard intuitive parenting. I'm sure it's a thing. It's going to be your baby. You're going to look at your baby and know what to do. Right. You're going to know. There's no like. Wait, but what are you saying? Because like too much of a plan will be, that will be their problem. So you're zero to seven. Okay. And we're undoing that. And then I was thinking about leaving your kid at 10.

Starting point is 00:07:27 Oh my God. When you're 50, me, myself. But I was thinking it reminded me a lot of my, I have tons of friends who are women that are in their fifties and I was talking to them and they were telling me that a lot of times the reason women, like people either get divorced within the beginning of their marriage or in their late forties or early fifties because they start to go through menopause that a lot of times the reason women, like people either get divorced within the beginning of their marriage or in their late 40s or early 50s because they start to go through menopause

Starting point is 00:07:49 and they lose the hormones that let them suffer a man's bullshit. That makes sense. They can no longer deal with the bullshit. I'm so glad that Dave won't go through menopause. He might have already. He doesn't suffer your shit right now. Yeah, that actually checks out for me. Like they're just like. But can I also say I don't think I had to hit menopause

Starting point is 00:08:12 to get to that stage. I was just going to say that. Because I'm like, I can sniff you out miles away at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Like the only person who's bullshit I'll put up with is obviously the person who I have an unhealthy relationship with is Bobby, my ex. But you're putting up with him in a different way. You broke the relationship part of it. Yeah. The romantic. So now you're putting up with it.

Starting point is 00:08:37 Even though you have very few boundaries in your relationship, that is a boundary that you guys are not romantic anymore. Yeah, that is true. Speaking of no boundaries. He has glowing-ass skin. Almost ovulating. I think I start in two days. that is a boundary that you guys are not romantic anymore yeah that is true speaking of um no glowing skin almost ovulating i think i start in two days kegeled when you said that i am becoming like weirdly attracted to you something's happening i'm like friend crushing i'm like i'm trying i'm calling her i'm like i'm like and he calls me she's like is there a vibe i was like there vibe she did not respond by the way it was silence on the other end i was like, their vibe. She did not respond, by the way. It was silence on the other end. I was like, okay. Been there. I was like, is this friendship 2.0?

Starting point is 00:09:08 But I said 0.0 or something. Yeah, she goes, is this friendship 0.0? And I think I laughed. And then she laughed and then ignored me. And then she was like, I got to go clean. I was like, well, this is an uncomfortable feeling. So I know how to fix it. I'll just go clean my house.

Starting point is 00:09:21 But I wasn't really uncomfortable. Wait, should we do our new routine, which is our weekly top of show, like little check-in? How are you doing today? What's going on? Sure. Not to be like the little nerd with my glasses. I know. It's like not to be the little nerd.

Starting point is 00:09:39 Oops, wrong outfit. You know what? I have to say, Esther, I think that you're really feeling yourself at this stage in your pregnancy because of the red nails. And you are holding yourself a little bit sexier these past couple days. She's finally into you. Thank you. This is all coming from now. Because you don't want it.

Starting point is 00:09:56 I know. Because you sent it to the universe. Thank you for that. I will finally eat your poop. Thank you so much. I can't have any sexual relations because it'll make, it'll cause me physical pain. She'll lose her position as the president. But, well, okay, let's, I'll start with the check-in then with that little prompt.

Starting point is 00:10:15 I am definitely feeling, I've had a couple decent days in the pregnancy lately and I'm like really excited about that. couple decent days in the pregnancy lately and I'm like really excited about that and last night was my show at the comedy store and it was like a smashing success like it was so fun and I think I'm still high off of it and like I was saying last week like that extra appreciation I have that I can actually do this like I'm just so grateful for this career right now. Like, we can get on stage, share these weird, crazy thoughts, entertain people, connect with people who are similar to you. Like, everyone has like a live experience. We're like all for 90 minutes, not looking at our phones. Like, it just, I'm feeling the appreciation for it and so I think like I've that's carrying over with me this morning and yes I'm like okay I got the Lululemon Alina

Starting point is 00:11:12 leggings that all the maternity girls say are like low-key the best maternity hilarious I wear them they're not okay they're the ones that fell out, right? They do. They have all different kinds of like leg, but it's like that they have like the wide top. Yeah, it's really good for my muffin top. Yes, it's great. And some, maybe it's just like the Align leggings glow. I feel you on the leggings. Really?

Starting point is 00:11:45 No, and they're so, like the smoothness of them, it just makes you so happy. It makes me realize, do you remember this? I don't know about the scrunch with the thing, but I'm going to forgive. Oh, no. It's not my business. Tall Uggs, I'm going all in. But I know, but with the, wouldn't you want it tight all the way down? That's because I had to size up a bunch because I'm going to grow into these. Right. And because I. But I forgive it and it's my judgment. Thank you. But like nothing can be too tight right now. But I heard there's two different kinds of Uggs. There's Ugg Australia and then there are Uggs here. And apparently the quality is completely different.

Starting point is 00:12:14 Of course we're getting the shitty American Uggs. And we've been getting the bad ones since like Y2K. It's not even like this is just new. Yeah. These ones are cute. Are these new? These are new, yeah. Very cute.

Starting point is 00:12:23 Comfy clothes. Because I dated an Australian boy and he got me the Australian Uggs. Really? This is just new. Yeah. These ones are cute. Are these new? These are new, yeah. Very cute. Comfy clothes. Because I dated an Australian boy and he got me the Australian Uggs and they have been, I mean, I have put those things through like actual, like I put them in a fire and they didn't melt. Oh my God, that's your Stanley Cup? They're going to send you a car now. Wait, I have a question though. Our Uggs are fake now, right?

Starting point is 00:12:44 Oh, I don't know. Or are we wearing an animal? I think they're faux Oh, I don't know. Or are we wearing an animal? I think they're faux now. Or I don't know. I literally don't know. Because I just remember always seeing Pamela Anderson in them. So I'm like, they can't be real. Yeah, talking about this sheep.

Starting point is 00:12:54 I feel like they were real. They were real. They were absolutely real. I just want to say I'm okay with sticking my foot straight into a lamb. But do they kill the lambs to get their fur? They shave them. But then those animals don't necessarily live great lives either. Oh, they just shave them?

Starting point is 00:13:08 Oh, they just shave them. Yeah, but it's like, you know, if imagine, like, I can't imagine mass production of shaving or mass shavings being like a fun thing for a lamb. That actually sounds really fun if we did a mass shaving. Mass shaving? Wait, that's a really cute term. Guys, mass shaving. That's our next live stream. That's really cute term. Guys, mass shaving. That's our next live stream.

Starting point is 00:13:26 That's our next Moment House is a mass shaving. Everybody, get your razor. We got to get a razor sponsor. Okay, check in. Talk to me. Okay, wait, I have a question. Okay. A moral question.

Starting point is 00:13:35 Moral. Okay, if we found out this glitter was tested on the same sheep that your feet are inside, still wearing it, how good is the makeup or do we try to like i don't have the bandwidth during pregnancy to check that stuff like six months ago i was you know i remember with the contact everything was more but it's like i am i'm a busy mom and i just if there's glitter in the eyeshadow that you get, you were so generous to give to me. You know what else? Another rule that kind of translates here is when you go to someone's house for dinner, you eat what they serve.

Starting point is 00:14:15 And you don't, like, follow all your own dietary restrictions. And so I'm like, you gave me the glitter. I already have it. I'm using it. That's what's happening. I love that. So I can just buy you weird shit. Oh, no.

Starting point is 00:14:27 Oh, this is friendship 2.0 for us. Do not bring me like foie gras or something. But what if your baby wants it? My baby? Why would my baby want foie gras? You don't know until it's in front of you. It's not happening. Because your baby is your baby.

Starting point is 00:14:44 They do what you say. Oh, I don't, not a parent, but I don't know. That's what my sister always says. She's like, you raised your kid, like, to be your kid. I don't know. I don't really know what it means. Ooh, that did not work out for my mom. Boy, did I go the other direction.

Starting point is 00:14:58 I know, like, then they turned 14. Yeah. I remember the moment I sat up in bed and I was like, I can call her a bitch back. Oh, my God. It was the most powerful moment of my life. You're kidding and I was like, I can call her a bitch back. Oh, my God. It was the most powerful moment of my life. You're kidding. I was like, you're a fucking bitch. They were like, ah.

Starting point is 00:15:10 It was over then. You're a fucking bitch. What happened? Annie, how are you guys feeling today? Colorful. I feel cute as shit. I love my outfit. I love my spray tan, even though the pits are very white.

Starting point is 00:15:24 I did a very good Pilates today. I'm just going to come out and say it. I am taking some of Glutide. And I have to talk about it because, you guys, I don't know about this shortage because it was very easy to get. So I don't know what's going on. But thank you. And very cheap and very cheap. And it's so funny because when I, through this doctor, when I was offered

Starting point is 00:15:46 it, I was like, I don't think I want to do it. Like this just isn't my vibe or whatever. But then I had like a FOMO about it. And I was like, I want to try this thing out. It was offered to me. It's easy to get. And I was like, all right. It was like $300. And then it was sitting in my fridge and I was like, I don't think I want this. Like, I don't want to have stomach problems. And then I was like, I actually am not someone that has bad side effects to things and if I do have a bad side effect I'll stop doing it I'm not trying to get like skinny like all these things I was like maybe I could lose 10 pounds or whatever but I just was more out of curiosity trying it but now I'm literally like it's cured my desire to lose any weight it's like so weird there's like this now this weird paradox where I'm like, all right, I got to taper off of it when I start to lose too much weight or whatever. And then I

Starting point is 00:16:30 like, because I, the effects of it, I looked it up and this has been known to do it. It's like curing my ADD. What do you mean? Does it just cure the compulsion? I'm like, it's not hard to get to exercise. I don't have that voice in my head that's like, like just lay in bed, just lay in bed. It's like, I'm like, I want to work out. And when I'm going, like, I went to Pilates today, two days this week. Wait, you have a voice that says just lay in bed? It's so hard for me because you are such an energizer bunny. I know. It's like, just stay. It's easier to stay. Really? How is it you're affecting your relationship with food? Well, I just don't. It's just very easy to eat just what I choose to eat so you still eat you still have an appetite I would refuse I would never not eat

Starting point is 00:17:10 that's like not I have no interest and I do think like not to be judgmental but I do see some people that have been on ozempic and stuff I don't like how they look I don't think I think at at 40 I've crossed the threshold of skinny being hot. It just looks sick for me. Right, right. My personal judgment on that is, like, it's not like I'm not chasing, like, low-rise jeans or anything, you know? I really like being fit. And I did hear that, like, it can—if you don't work out, it can, like, go and, like, you can lose muscle. And I have no interest in that.

Starting point is 00:17:40 So I just have been working out harder. But it's, like, very easy. Like, when I go to a class—like, let's say back in the day when we used to go to Barry's bootcamp once or twice, I don't remember how many times we went. I don't think we ever even went together. We never went together, but I did go. We had an era. Which is shocking for both of us, I feel like.

Starting point is 00:17:54 It's never coming back for me. But I like, okay, so I, they always go, you can put the treadmill like 4.5 or 4.5 up to like 7.5. Like I very rarely got to 7.5. And and if I did it's like I had to like really fight myself to get there I am now like 10.5 like I go as hard as I can like I'm so sore I used to think Pilates was so easy it's because I wasn't trying hard I was like what's the least amount of workout I can do during this workout I'm like squeezing my core I'm just like I don't know I have a lust for life I have a lust for life. I have a lust for life.

Starting point is 00:18:25 Oh my God. You guys, my shaman just called me and my fucking hypnotist. It's my angels. My angels just called me. It's because you don't need them anymore because of the semi-glutide. I love them though. I want to give it to all for Christmas. Christmas is over.

Starting point is 00:18:41 Can I say something? The three of you have never looked. You look very stunning today. Oh, thank you. In different ways. Oh is over. Can I say something? The three of you have never looked. You look very stunning today. Oh, thank you. In different ways. Oh, my gosh. Her second divorce is making her a lesbo. Honestly, maybe.

Starting point is 00:18:51 She's in perimenopause. This is insane. No, I just wanted you to know you all are, like, glowing. Thank you, Stella. So are you. There's, like, a full camera in front of you, but I'm assuming you look great. You can't see me at all. I'm assuming you look great.

Starting point is 00:19:04 Wait, and Stella, thank you so much for coming to the show last night. Yes. Did you have fun? The Comedy Store is very, I don't know how to describe it. It's, honestly, it's just, it's a cool place. You feel very cool when you go there. It's the best f***ing place on earth. And then you, when you know the people, bitch. Yeah, you feel like,

Starting point is 00:19:20 and then, like, even watching Esther's like, stand up and they kept talking about, like, I know you're here for Esther. I was like, man, that must be such a cool feeling. Also just to see that Annie was in the other room. I don't know. I love going there. I feel very, very cool.

Starting point is 00:19:33 I feel like it's a very cool place. By the way, when I got there, your show was just letting out, and I did an accidental mini meet and greet at your show. It was not on purpose. Yeah. And there was a lot of Trash Tuesday fans there and of course I was like, how do you like the new?

Starting point is 00:19:48 I was like, ask, questioning them about the new vibe and they were all like, we love it. Even though they probably were just saying that. No,

Starting point is 00:19:53 we don't give you guys an option to not like it. Okay, this is hypnosis. This is the best it's ever been and it's always going to get better. Yeah, the Slug fans are so sweet.

Starting point is 00:20:02 It was so cute. There were so many people barreling out. But it was also really cool. It was like watching Beyonce pregnant perform. Wow. Honestly, you know what I wanted to say, too, that's really cool? It's like you're kind of like in this, you're so in the moment and what's going on.

Starting point is 00:20:17 It's got to feel so good on stage to be. Because sometimes I think like as all comics, we kind of get stuck in a set for a while. And it's like we're not even in that place in our lives anymore like you're like pregnant talking about being pregnant and it's so fucking relatable I just could not do the not in the moment on stage anymore because it was taking away it was just like draining me there's no like joy yeah the artistry of it or something um wait but okay before Klyla check in, I just want to ask Stella, what did you think? Because Dave joined me on stage for the last like 15 minutes. What was your opinion of Dave?

Starting point is 00:20:52 I want Dave to, I would love Dave to come on the podcast. She's like, I'm not sure yet. We'll have to see. I need to interview him. I thought it was very cute. You got your little like, the way that you went back and forth was really cute. I feel like he was really adorable, but I want more.

Starting point is 00:21:09 I want to know more. I had like questions. Okay, good to know. So I thought it was cute though. Okay. And you can tell that he really like, and then at one point he was like, I don't know why I'm up here. I thought it was, yeah, I liked that. No, he's still, he's like,'s like when is it gonna be me Todd and Bobby

Starting point is 00:21:25 like Bobby should just or Bobby why don't we just hard launch hard launch me and Bobby back together no

Starting point is 00:21:32 oh oh the guy I'm seeing oh no there's no hard launches there absolutely not I'm protecting that what if we kept him anonymous we put like a screen over him and he just talks

Starting point is 00:21:41 we could just put Guy there there's a silhouette of him and he just talks I you know to keep him private. I will bring him on a phone call first on the show and you know what I mean.

Starting point is 00:21:50 Without letting him know. Don't you guys think it would be funny if we just started the show and the three of them, well, we could, someone else,

Starting point is 00:21:56 we could have Guy or something, Kalilah, whoever you felt comfortable with. Guy's in your seat? We have your ex-husband in your seat? Oh yeah,

Starting point is 00:22:03 honestly. But that, I think, I think to start the show. And whatever hot guy or girl Katie's banging. And then to start the show like that, I think that would be so cute. Yeah, I think Bobby would be down for that. Yeah, he's perfect. He's my correspondent. I liked our episode when we dressed like our male.

Starting point is 00:22:20 I know. That was really funny. I'm still dressing like that. You never change. It influenced my style. That was your Steve Bannon phase. Wait, Klyla, our mouth. That was really funny. I'm like still dressing like that. That like, you never changed. That was your Steve Bannon. That was your Steve Bannon phase. Wait, Klyla, check in. How are you today? What's going on? What's, what's, how are you feeling? Um, uh, I was supposed to have therapy this week, but my therapist is getting back surgery. So she's out for a long time. It's like you can't facetime no but you know what's you know what's crazy is that you think that you like you need it right therapy but then you really feel

Starting point is 00:22:51 like you need it when you can't have it when you're like i'm out i can't help you so now i'm like who do i call like you know like and it's just it's it's not no crisis or anything but it's that feeling of like i i think I need like assistance. Yes. And, but I'm good. I'm good today. Surviving, I think. It's going to be, she's going to have a wild ride. Who? Is your therapist a girl? My therapist is a lady, yeah.

Starting point is 00:23:14 She's going to have a wild ride when she gets back to work. It's going to be all saved up. I know. I know. You know what that just made me think of? My childhood doctor passed away when I was like still pretty young. I was like a teenager. And there was like a weird betrayal because he was so like precious. And like our guy, he got brain cancer. Imagine what it would feel like if just suddenly our therapist passed away. Like, do you imagine? Can you imagine the amount of therapists you'd have to go to?

Starting point is 00:23:45 That would be pretty rough. In fact, Starting over is like, Starting over is a lot. It's a lot. But there are upsides to starting over because like, you are like kind of a new version of yourself,

Starting point is 00:23:57 I think, you know, at different times in your life. And there are some things you no longer have to talk about. Yeah. You know, like, oh, I've already addressed that.

Starting point is 00:24:04 I don't have to keep, like, introduce that to this. But sometimes they want the summary and you're like oh sure but is there a file with the notes yeah but what what i like even because i switched therapists uh like four years ago five years ago and um i liked like picking and choosing like oh wait i've already addressed this this doesn't bother me anymore and i don't need to bring that into like my sessions now. Like we've processed that. Like we're good. That's true. Like you kind of close the chapter and it's like, I like that my therapist knows that those things existed, though. But you're right. Like it would be OK if someone knew didn't have all the files uploaded. Have you ever had friends that lie to their therapist? My friend in college was like, oh, I always lie to my therapist. I'm like, what? That's such a waste

Starting point is 00:24:48 of money. It's so insane. But I will say as someone who has lied to my therapist. I know, you've talked about this. Yeah, I've absolutely lied to my therapist. I told Dr. Drew this. It's me still being a people pleaser. Like it's me still feeling like, like there are moments where she's like, how are you? I'm like, I'm good. I'm hanging in there. And I'm not, I'm like barely hanging on by a thread, but I'm like, I'm good. I got this. And I don't got this. That's not, I don't think that's, that's a bad lie. Cause that's also kind of like, you're also maybe even like speaking yourself into a truth. Like maybe you're trying to talk yourself into it. Or even if you're trying to make them please them or whatever, it's not, not that bad but it's like I had friends that would like

Starting point is 00:25:26 lie about like things that happened they were just weirdos it was college and not about big stuff no no no like I would never I think is kind of okay because they'll probably yeah like there are times where she's like here's where I've lied where she's like I think it's this and I think it's because you know she'll go into the whole racial part of like my trauma where she's like you know you're Filipino this and that and this she gets and I'm like I don't think it's that but I'll nod and be like oh yeah you're right oh I see it might be that and I'm like I don't actually agree with you there and it's very people-pleasing but I want to hear her out so I just it is awkward to be like even if it's your therapist or someone else when someone is

Starting point is 00:26:06 so confident they figured out what your deal is it is really uncomfortable to be like no I don't think it's that even as someone who is not a people pleaser and will speak up it's it's awkward yeah I like though I like with my new therapist she's like she goes like I what like I'm guessing like she doesn't she's very like conscious of that and there's been times I'm like no I don't think that's it that doesn't like ring true but I'll try it on you know and I think like with a lot of my friends like when they call me for things and I'm like I'm gonna guess like I just like never I always like preface I could be totally wrong but like if I were you I might be feeling it because of this, you know? Man, you guys, I have to be honest.

Starting point is 00:26:45 I am still struggling in my life with this one recurring theme that's coming up with like family, friends. I'm seeing it in multiple relationships where someone I love so much is in a relationship, a romantic relationship that I don't approve of. And it's like. Are you talking about Todd? Yeah. Todd and I have been talking. I'm begging him. I am.

Starting point is 00:27:12 It is. This is just like I can't let go. It's really hard for me to keep quiet, even though I do it. It's so hard. And then if they even ask questions, even if I've prepped myself, like don't, don't, they're,

Starting point is 00:27:28 they, these two people love each other. Like you cannot get in between them. But if someone goes, what are you, I'm like, I think this and this and this. And then I know they're never going to,

Starting point is 00:27:38 they're in love. They're never going to. Well, if they're asking you explicitly, then you can unload. And they know what you're going you can unload and they know yeah probably i they don't you helped me but you helped me before and i didn't hear it yet like you helped me in one of my relationships where you were like this is not a good guy this guy's not into you

Starting point is 00:27:54 this is like and you didn't so you're but you and even if i didn't hear it then like later i was like oh yeah but it's helpful it's like yeah i've had that too with a friend where she told me this the way this guy is treating you is she told me all the reasons why that wasn't working. I wasn't ready when she said it, but then later I was like, yeah, she was right. Because if you're like, then you can, I think honestly in that, not that you asked for advice, but like I think in that situation I would be like either like I can't like talk, I can't be the one that you talk to about this because I just have my feelings and I don't want to get involved. But I can't control myself. But it would just be like a boundary. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:26 But you have to, like the way I see it is like, like choose your own fucking adventure, bitch. You want to choose heartache and devastation? That's the road you want to go? Yeah, it's not my business. Like, how about it? But you care about your friend. Of course, of course.

Starting point is 00:28:39 But they'll be fine. The nicest thing that my family ever did was never intrude on my relationships because I learned a lot through the horrible ones. You don't want to be an experience stealer. You don't want to steal someone's experience. Because I really felt like respected. I'm like, okay, they trust that, okay, maybe this person isn't great, but they trusted me to crawl out of it and get out of it. Even though it was probably hard to watch for them because I'm sure they were just fucking foaming at the mouth wanting to be like fucking leave him but they don't do that and i really they i really love my family for that because it's like even though those things hurt

Starting point is 00:29:14 and even though there are times where i'm like why the fuck didn't you tell me they're like kalilah like like you have you had to go through it you just had to and i know you're right because you know what this happened i've talked when i brought about brought this up before it was about my sister and she's finally out of that relationship no thanks to me being right the whole time like she had to get there herself nothing i said right got her there nothing and of course because she's my fucking bitch sister she's never gonna be like you were, you were right. But like, so I've seen me try and it gets me nowhere and they have to do it themselves. But here I am in this again with someone else. And I'm like.

Starting point is 00:29:53 It's also you can't like control someone else. It's like you can't like get in there. But I understand the image. It's also, yeah, like. Let them hit their bottom faster. Yeah. Like, do you know what I mean? It's like, if you don't aid them, if you don't like just jump in and they, they might hit the bottom of that relationship faster. Why? Okay. Like for instance, um, I was dating somebody and I wasn't disclosing to my family

Starting point is 00:30:17 how actually mean he was to me. Like on text, he was very jealous. This is pretty recent. He was very nasty when he wouldn't like get his way with me he would call me things like avoidant he would say that i was a whore that he would like i was like when you first said avoidant i was like he would say things like i was like was it me nanny yeah but he would say things like oh like i you look you you give um too many people you look you give too many men eye contact and I'm like where am I going like I don't even leave the fucking house bro like one time like I spent four hours on FaceTime with him and I went to an Easter party for an hour and a half and I didn't check in

Starting point is 00:30:58 in with him for that hour and a half and I came home to like a barrage of text messages basically being like why the fuck are you like this? And mind you, I had just spent four hours on anyways. All of this to say at 38, I put up with this bullshit. At 38, having gone through all of the shitty relationships. And this is the only time my sister was like, thank fucking God. Okay, so he did something that was very similar in the same vein of being jealous and being like, just not cool.

Starting point is 00:31:29 And yeah, controlling. And finally, I called my sister. I was in Hawaii and I was like, hey, I think I'm done with this. She goes, yes, you are. Yes, the fuck you are, bitch. And she's like, and if you are not, I'm actually gonna step in this time.

Starting point is 00:31:43 She's like, if you were 25, you put up with that because you don't know any better. But I was like, Kalilah, you just got out of a 30, 10 year relationship. You're 38. A 38 year relationship. Yeah, basically. Well, basically because you sold yourself out to be in that other one. Yeah. And then she was like, yeah, you are.

Starting point is 00:31:58 You're done. We're done. How did you hit that wall of you're done with this controlling person? I hate to say this, but there was a catalyst. I was, there was a guy that I met who was a friend and his presence made me feel very calm, secure. And he was just a friend and like cared for. And just looking at him, I was like, wait, I cannot be with someone like this when I know there are people like this, like who call my nervous system.

Starting point is 00:32:26 I'm like, why am I in this? And then I called, it was like one in the morning. She picked up and she was like, yeah, you're done. I'm like, I'm done. And it felt so f***ing good. Because I think I was very lonely when I broke up with Bobby. I wanted to, you know, I just wanted maybe to feel someone's like warm body next to me, to feel adored again, because I felt ugly.

Starting point is 00:32:48 Which is all understandable. Yeah. And I got myself into something not healthy. You know, I wish him well and stuff. But like, yeah, dude, like I did not tell my family all of the nasty stuff that he was saying. And I almost was like only told him the good stuff. But my sister knew it the whole time. She was like, that boy is controlling. Like she just sniffed it out. I'm glad to hear that you got there on your own. And that gives me hope that I can just because I know this is my issue.

Starting point is 00:33:14 Why do I care? I should step back. And that's that's what I need to do and let them pull Kalilah and find it. Yeah. Just trust that they're going to be OK and they can figure it figure it out yeah people like do unless someone's being like physically hurt and you need to like step in it's like i think it's like people always go to that but i'm like i think some of these it's all bad yeah but you're right i know you're right there's like they're gonna be killed i don't know yeah i mean and there's yeah as long as their safety is okay you know you're right you guys are right but it's like yeah i mean I think obviously verbal abuse has like a big impact on people but you can't call the cops and be like someone called me a whore yeah you hate that it even has to be that way but it's like you really have to check in with how your body feels around the person

Starting point is 00:33:59 because sometimes you're so used to feeling a certain way yeah and you sometimes conflate that that like anxiety with like oh it must be butterflies or it must be this. When really your nervous system is just shutting down. And you get, you get in the habit when you have like so much trauma when you're little of like excitement is that like, that's like, that's everything is like, and then you just hit a point where like, I want to peace. I just want to be like happy and peace. I don't want it to be like so high or low.

Starting point is 00:34:25 So low. That's why Dr. Drew says like- I was just saying, what was he said to you? Like go for a calm or something? Yeah, no fireworks. Yeah. Like, because, you know, for someone like me, maybe even someone like you or all of us, it's like, we've been through and our nervous system is just really fried. You need that calm. You need that safe harbor. And I think I always wanted to go for the chaos and like, you know, the bells and whistle because that's always what's exciting to me. That's like my family structure is very exciting like that. I have a question. I don't have any clue what the answer is to it.

Starting point is 00:34:58 But what do you think? And I'm just using men as the example because we're women and we mostly date guys. But what do you think causes I'm just using men as the example because we're women and we mostly date guys but what do you think causes a controlling guy like what in their childhood makes them control okay well I before you said childhood I was going to say but that's I am really curious about that too it's obviously like jealous insecurity they're just so I think it's that they don't trust women and that has something to do with childhood, young experience, maybe their first love or maybe something to do with mommy. I don't know, but like it's a control. It's,

Starting point is 00:35:32 I don't trust you unless you're, you must be in my sight at all times. Or I think, I know David so fought me on this, but it's like, you know, those guys that think all women are whores and they're never gonna, that that's their core belief. Yeah. And so whatever you do, they're just – Maybe it's like a cheating mother. I think it's how people manifest their anxieties. That's what they say.

Starting point is 00:35:54 Men go outward. Women go inward. Can I say for me what it was? Because I was the super jealous, super jealous insane girlfriend in my 20s. And I will admit like super unhealthy and probably accused people of doing things that they would never even dare of doing. But for me, it was like, I was very much the girl in guy friend groups that was the recipient of all of their bad stories. Like I was always the girl that were like, oh, Kalilah, like if they would like cheat on their girls or their wives or whatever, for some reason they thought I was the vault in the group. And maybe there was a part of me that was very pick me. And I'm like, oh yeah,

Starting point is 00:36:35 like I'm the girl that the guys trust. But then I became the recipient of all of their fucking bad behavior. I would witness it. And so when I got into my relationships, I'm like, oh, you're just like all my other friends. I'm sure like you're all terrible. And I know this for a fact. And I would see their girlfriends, like girlfriends of my friends or wives and who were completely unaware. And in my head, I'm like, I'm not going to be that unaware. I'm going to be onto you. I'm going to sniff you out. Honestly, that's a fucking losing game. Of course it is. You've ruined your life.

Starting point is 00:37:08 Yeah. Number one, my partners probably didn't deserve that. Absolutely didn't deserve that. Also, like, I'm just spinning for no reason. Maybe they sucked, though. Who knows? Yeah, maybe. You're punishing yourself.

Starting point is 00:37:20 I've definitely been cheated on, like, several times, like, in my younger years. But I don't even think that's why I became a jealous person I think it's hearing the stories over and over again also because I was really jealous too and I didn't even realize I can't remember what friend it was but I remember just asking her these questions like so you don't know what your boyfriend what he's up to right now no what if he's doing this whatever and i was like whoa it could be like this like and i and i'm like oh that's so much better than this other version where you're ruining your own fucking life trying to control someone either and i always say this to my other friend i'm like

Starting point is 00:37:57 you either trust the person you're with or you don't and it doesn't really matter what it's just do you have peace or do you not have peace there's no in between right and this friend never has peace and I'm like okay that sucks I hate this for you there's nothing I can do also it's just like if you're jealous and possessive you're thinking about someone else all the time you're not like even like focusing your whole life is on hold yeah your whole life is on hold and I see this and I've been there like like you're saying I've totally been there too maybe that's maybe there is a projecting going on where it's like, God, I know what that's like. And there's a life on another, there's a life on the other side of that. And I want to bring you there. Yeah. And it's such a great place to be when

Starting point is 00:38:37 you're like, I don't give a fuck if you do or you don't. Like I'm gonna sit with the trust of it all and like live in the peace. For instance, like the guy that I'm dating, very social, very lovable. People like him. He has female friends. It's like, that's what I'm attracted to. It's also what makes me like a little bit like it brings back like a little bit of my old like jealous habits. But so I mean, look, a scooch of jealousy. Like a scooch. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you know they're choosing you. Yeah. If you know they're choosing you, it's very fun for a girl to hit on your man.

Starting point is 00:39:10 Yeah. If you know that they're not. But also it's. Well, it's different than reason. Nothing too crazy. But also. Like if they don't know you exist. Like if you just watch like someone like come to your like look at your man or whatever and they don't know that you're not like next to them yet.

Starting point is 00:39:27 That's fucking hot. But I think it speaks to what you said earlier about like not giving a shit. You kind of lose that the hormones to give a shit. And I don't I think for me it's kind of like I really now I believe I can leave anytime and I am OK alone. And if this doesn't work out and you turn out to be a shithead, like, fuck it. We tried. Cool. Like I'm not devastated anymore at the thought of being alone because it turns out it's quite nice. Yeah. Even when I have dreams, like sometimes I have dreams that Todd cheats on me. And even in the dreams, I'm like, I'll be okay. This sucks,

Starting point is 00:40:02 but I'm going to get through this. Like I'm even like being like healthy. This is why it is so important for women to be financially like independent. I've never had a guy that has money. Like this conversation is so insane to me. But no, one of my girlfriends was saying this recently. Like it's women must have their financial independence so that they have the freedom to like you said so easily like you know we can just go be on our own because if you are not in that situation it's scary but I also heard one of my many shaman gurus once told me like he was like you know always leave a

Starting point is 00:40:38 situation never let money be the thing because just statistically you always you always make like within two years you're financially sound like that's enough time for you to like rebuild a business or or anything like that which I think is really good to hear too it's like where you're like oh everything is gonna like how could it if you're forward moving and you want to make money you can make money you know like you can find a way somehow on the internet, hopefully on the internet and not in an alley on your knees or whatever, but that's also an option if you like it. But I was thinking about, yeah, the homeless people in my neighborhood are knitting. I'm like, you have an Etsy store. This is crazy. But I was thinking about something you said. Okay,

Starting point is 00:41:18 I need more semi-glutide. I just have a question. Because I'm newly single right now, I'm in that phase where I'm like, I will date a toxic man just to feel like a warm body. Yeah. So between the toxic person and the great person, like what was the time like between the two? Was it a long period? Between the breakup and then dating a… A good person, yeah. Well, to be clear, like he didn't seem like toxic at first.

Starting point is 00:41:43 I'm not like pointing out like oh yeah he seems this way they never do but yeah they never do I think I'm also old enough to know that I actually don't think like there's he's he's a great guy I think that our dynamic was toxic because you know at this time in my life like I when we were dating he was ready for a relationship and I was very clear up front about not wanting to be in a relationship. And that back and forth really frustrated him to the point of like, I think him being like an anxious kind of type of person. Yeah. Isn't he a great guy if he's calling you a whore though? I do that too. No, no, I don't call people names. I'm always like, I'm always like, oh, but he's not. And I'm like, I'm kind of done doing that. Cause it's like, I can be like, I like wish you well

Starting point is 00:42:22 and I hope you learn and I hope you like grow and find what you need in the world. But why am I always like, I'm almost like apologizing. I'm like putting like what they did to me. Like I'm like, oh, but it's okay. You know what they call that? I learned it from the holistic psychologist, an over-understander. Like where you make excuses for people because you're like, well, they went through this trauma and it's because of this. And, you know, I understand where he's coming from. And it's like, sometimes you're right. Like,

Starting point is 00:42:48 I don't want to be called a whore. I don't want to be called this and that. Like, I understand where, what led you to say that, but it doesn't mean I have to put up with it. Can I tell you guys something that I had like a little bit of like a, not a breakdown in Philly when I was back for Thanksgiving. But when I went back home, like this, this girl that I, that had done some like up shit to me when we were in high school, she's like incredibly successful in her field there. And I had this like feeling of like, when I, she kind of popped in my head when last time I was doing ayahuasca and I was like, oh, I'm like proud of her. You know, like that's great that she got to like the top of her thing.

Starting point is 00:43:29 And then when I was in Philly and I was thinking about it and I was like, I had had this urge to like go see her and like say, there was this thing inside me that like was like, oh, I should go see her and tell her I'm proud of her and whatever. And it's like, I need to kill that part of myself because my sadness when I was there and I was like actually thinking about it was like, what is it in me that keeps giving people these like chances?

Starting point is 00:43:57 It's like this person, like, and of course she was 16 at the time. It really doesn't matter. What was done in that situation was bad enough to sever that cord forever and I think it's like what I strive to do is have no feelings about it like obviously I don't want people to be like homeless on the street or like feeling like shit or whatever and having a bad life but it's like I was just like sad about the fact that I was like willing

Starting point is 00:44:19 to like okay so what's coming up for me is that this is an extremely common behavior that often women experience with like an abuser where they want to make things right with the person who hurt them. And I don't know the psychology or why it is, but it's like you often like want to make sure things are cool with like the guy who f***ed you or whatever it is I don't know if you guys have that experience in your sexual trauma but it's very common and that's it's like oh she did something f***ed up to you and you have this maybe like she would like maybe she was going to apologize to me or something like it's almost like I'm going and thinking but I don't know what it is because it's not I'm not even like thinking about it's just like the fact that I'm like oh like let bygones be bygones it's like I'm going and thinking, but I don't know what it is because I'm not even thinking about it. It's just the fact that I'm like, oh, let bygones be bygones. It's like I'm done.

Starting point is 00:45:08 I don't like that. I don't think that's a healthy kindness that I have. You know, you should really talk to my sister because she is the best person. She understands core wounds so well. So anyone who bullied her in elementary school, I always tell her, it's like, Coinda, you were eight, nine years old her it's like kunda it's like you were eight nine years old she's like i don't give a that face is emblazoned in my mind and it elicits a certain response out of me i don't care if we were seven or eight it's a fucking wound that is

Starting point is 00:45:38 that is still there so it's like i don't care if they want to have you know because we go back to the philippines and and they're like oh let's all grab dinner she's like i I don't care if they want to have, you know, because we go back to the Philippines and they're like, oh, let's all grab dinner. She's like, I don't want to see that person's face. Because when I see that, look at that person's face, I'm back to being seven and eight. And I have this wound inside me. But also my life is very much okay without them. Right. So she's like, I don't want to make nice.

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Starting point is 00:50:45 It's like I just want to vibrate on a level where I don't even see these people anymore. That's where she's at. She's just like she's like, I don't know why. Like, it's not OK for me just to not have feelings about it. I don't give a shit anymore. I don't want to see those people. Because my high school, like after all that shit happened, I went I used to go back. Really?

Starting point is 00:51:04 I used to go back. This is and go back this is and I would go back and they would treat me like fucking shit again and it was crazy and I would just keep going back and there was like this alumni page where you could say like where you are and I was doing something way cooler than everyone else and comedy and shit and I would like submit it this was like before I really realized like how fucked up it was, what happened to me, and that it wasn't normal. I was still in this weird, like, I probably did something wrong. I would, like, submit my, like, alumni thing, and they wouldn't post it.

Starting point is 00:51:36 It was like, fuck you. Like, you're not posting my alumni shit, you fucking pieces of shit. Obviously, they were probably like, we gotta try to erase this bitch being in our lives. Yeah, because I think they put a hole in in you and you're still trying to fill that hole somehow and i think that's i don't have it with them anymore because they reach out sometimes with and i they're done i wish dr drew was here to like break down what this phenomenon we need another dr drew and why it happens because i relate to that too where it's like someone does something really bad to you and then you want to make excuses and be like well it wasn't like the over-understander and like and

Starting point is 00:52:11 then you want to make it okay and I don't know why we do that but it is some kind of human nature I don't know if it's like comes to wanting to feel safe I think there's a safety element there for sure it's also like for me it's like I'm just trying to put the puzzle pieces like together and in a very neat way in my mind. And if I have a period at the end of this sentence and like an ending to that story or a resolution or an apology, somehow I'm able to put the pieces of my life together a little bit better in my head. And there's more of a calm because when something is unresolved, I do feel like not great. But the lesson in that for us is like,

Starting point is 00:52:49 that's an outside circumstance, right? Like we can't control that resolution. If we need the resolution to be like coming from someone else, especially someone who's like already wronged us, it's like, we have absolutely no control over that. Like maybe we'll get that, maybe we won't, but it's like about, we have to resolve it in ourselves energetically and that's like that was like what I was realizing like I need to do some work on that because it's like I over forgive it's like why like I also think though that this is such a universal response that it must be so deep in the brain it's like we don't even have the awareness and I'm even like does it have something to do with if I go

Starting point is 00:53:25 back and make things right, then they won't want to hurt me again? Are we just like thinking deep in our subconscious, they're going to hurt me again? I don't know. I'm fully guessing, but this is like so not uncommon. My therapist in high school told me that a lot of like SA victims will go back to like relive that same type of pattern not necessarily with the same person because they want to see it through like with a happy ending but he also got me beer for my 16th birthday and told me when I was going to Germany when I was 14 that I should tell him if the German guys have crooked penises. So I don't think we – and he did more stuff that I won't even talk about. But so I don't know if we can believe him.

Starting point is 00:54:11 I'm like, oh, you're one of the things I'm doing this with. Wait, I want to bring something up that I recently found out. Have you guys ever heard of the correlation between when you have your period and what kind of witch you are? No. Okay. Cause I know you guys thought it was very woo woo of me the, a couple episodes ago. And I was like, I bleed with a moon cause I bleed with a full moon. Woo woo woo up. Woo woo is all I want. Okay. So I, I've bled with a full moon for as long as I can remember. There are times where it, it flips into me, um, ovulating with a full moon, but it's either ovulating on a full moon, but mostly bleeding with a full moon. Always on a full moon.

Starting point is 00:54:49 I'm just imagining you have like hot period sex under the moon. But apparently there's, so if you bleed with a full moon, you're called a red witch. If you ovulate on a full moon, it's a white witch and there's pink witch and there's other types. So I want to know what you guys are. And each one has their own powers. I have never compared my period to the size of the moon yeah we'll have to wait for her for a while yeah but it makes so much sense because i mean the moon dictates tide right it dictates fish activity it dictates so many don't call our vaginas fish activity it dictates so many like things in nature like why wouldn't it um you know what makes you think

Starting point is 00:55:29 to check the moon when you bleed that's what i want to know because it's so i know that my period is coming it's very easy for me to know you're not native american i'm not so it's like if i just know when the full moon is that month then i can prepare when to get tampons and stuff like that i don't even need a period tracker because i'm like i just bleed with a moon all i'm saying is can you track your periods and esther the next time you do have one or go back to your period tracker how about that and will you let me know yeah will you let me know when you bleed so we can figure out what kind of witches we are i will say this makes sense because if you think about it like in whatever times when we were cavemen or whatever we were, like we didn't have calendars

Starting point is 00:56:10 or like iCal. So it makes sense that like we looked at the moon and be like, okay, I'm going to bleed soon. Like I guess that is. I better gather my leaves. Yeah. I better gather my twigs and leaves. Which one are you? I'm so I'm a red witch because I bleed with the full moon. So apparently I was killed a lot back in the day. Why? Yeah, like because the red witches were considered. Oh, my God. You would look so hot getting burned at a stake.

Starting point is 00:56:36 The healers, the oracles. Yeah, like high priestesses and like really up to no good. Can't you see Kalilah like being one of the witches that like is getting burned but she doesn't even scream? She's like, you won't take me. I love the heat. You won't take my, what does he say at Braveheart?

Starting point is 00:56:53 I was like, Lhasa the Mohicans at Braveheart. Yeah, well, I was going to say I have extremely long cycles so I would never, like my cycles are like-

Starting point is 00:57:01 Is the cycle long or the period? What do you mean? Like my cycle is, I only get a period every 38 days. Oh, I have my period for 38 days. I thought that's what you meant. I just have a heavy period for five years.

Starting point is 00:57:12 No, it's so weird. I don't understand why my cycles are so long. I don't understand what it means. Forever, doctors are like, that's really concerning. You probably won't be able to have kids. You're the piglet. You're all of it. Yeah, but I mean, that's bullshit.

Starting point is 00:57:26 Because like Annie's mom didn't even have her period until she was 30. And she had twins. She was a real witch. You know what I mean? So it's like, it's a weird thing to say. But is there anything you do at home that is just so between, just so private and just between you and yourself and no one will ever know that you do? Like, for instance, I'll give you an example.

Starting point is 00:57:43 Like when I'm at the tail end of my period and it's like that fudgy brown. You put it on your face? No, that's Filipino ritual. That's public knowledge. She cooks it into brownies and doesn't tell anyone? No, like I pull my panty down because I don't put a panty liner. I don't have a tampon on because it's a tail end, right? Yeah. I pull it down. That's why it's called the tail end. You leave a little tail. Yeah. And I say this out loud to myself. And I go, chocolate. And it's something that I have to do every single time. Like, I'm like, chocolate. And then I go into the shower.

Starting point is 00:58:14 I honestly can't relate. I think it's adorable, though. I love the childlike quality. I don't. Yeah, I like the baby voice. There's nothing that you guys do where you're like, God, if someone heard me right now, they would. I do a lot.

Starting point is 00:58:27 I'm just, I'm, of course, everything I do is embarrassing. Everything at home. Thanks for clarifying at home. You've never seen you embarrass yourself here. Never. Everything at home. Okay, cool. We have a couple questions.

Starting point is 00:58:40 Yeah. Wait, can I say that I went to the, to the shop today. I wanted to buy flowers. I knew we were doing a fan thing. So I wanted to, so I was like, who do I get flowers for? And I decided to get them for the fans. Maybe it's too big. Wait, so what is the flowers occasion? Because we were going to do like an episode about the fans.

Starting point is 00:58:56 Oh, that's beautiful. Put them on the little thing. Do you guys like getting flowers? I do now. Once I healed myself, I started enjoying it. Yeah, I really think it's cute when if like we're walking anywhere and a guy like picks like random flowers. Oh, that's really sweet. So as we're hiking, he'll pick random.

Starting point is 00:59:13 At the end of the hike, he has a little thing and he's like, yeah. Oh, that's cute. I think you're just newly happy and in love. No, I'm such a romance girl. I've always been that way. Just Bobby missed that memo. Bobby missed the memo completely. But I've always been like a super like soft romance girl like that. Well, these are for our slugs then, right? These are for our slugs. And then we have, they wanted to tell you there's

Starting point is 00:59:34 a bunch of crazy stuff that they sent us. Okay, cool. So we got some fan gossip questions, secrets submitted, which we love when we do these. So thank you guys for sending them in always do please my brother's girlfriend caught me and my boyfriend talking shit about her home decor on her pet cam and now she's refusing to come to my family's christmas until i apologize oh i have a take i have two takes i need to two takes. I need to hear what was, I need to know what was said. I'm just like, it really. I have a strong take that I'm scared people aren't going to like. Okay, I'm going to say this. If you're spying on people, you deserve what you get.

Starting point is 01:00:16 Yeah. You deserve what you get and suck it up. But on the other hand, sometimes just apologizing is such like a king archetype move. Like just apologize when you don't mean it just to make things like easy and go downstream but also I just feel like if the sister-in-law was asking I would be like grow up I'd be like okay I'm so sorry but that person violated their privacy yeah you're spying you're violating someone's privacy Don't look for things that you don't want to see. Like we are all allowed to, in the privacy of our own home

Starting point is 01:00:48 or in the private conversation, say whatever we want. And we might say bad things about our family, people we love, human nature. Okay. And that sucks that you spied and you caught that. I'm sure that feels like shit for this person, but also like home decor is not the worst also it's for you it's like who would you decorate your house for your in-laws like who cares it's for yourself you also if you like how your house

Starting point is 01:01:15 looks why does it matter if someone doesn't like it that's a little psychopathic to me also i'd love to know if i'm gonna strong arm my partner um because I'm offended that him and his sister do not like the f***ing linoleum floors or whatever it is, I need help. And honestly, it's not about this. If you're refusing to come to Christmas, it's not about this. It's a bigger drama. This person is a drama queen. And this person must have a problem like feeling disrespected or something and then they're you're gonna people like that that are afraid they're being disrespected all the time always find they're a magnet to examples of feeling disrespected

Starting point is 01:01:55 and obviously looking for it it's like it's like if i like it's like for instance if i want to go like look at my reddit page or something and then there's something like that's on me like I know that I'm going to read those comments or like I'm choosing that like I can't be mad that it exists correct like this morning I woke up and I was like you know I'll check one hidden message checked it and the message the message said you f***ing ugly rat and I was like oh close and I was like oh this is I. And I was like, oh, this is, I deserve that. I deserve that stab this morning because I f***ing looked. You take responsibility. Yes. If you're looking to find something, guess what? You will. But also it sounds like it's going to be a way better Christmas without this bitch. I know. I was just going to say that. And also when people do those,

Starting point is 01:02:38 like that's her boundary for herself. That's not yours. So just ignore her. Okay. Imagine. Do you want to miss Christmas? You miss Christmas. Imagine that apology. Let's play it out. Okay, you're who— Okay. You'd be laughing. You're the girl, and I have to apologize.

Starting point is 01:02:51 Esther, I just want to say I really want you to come over for Christmas, and I'm so sorry that I said something about your backsplash. Like, I just think it's a little dated, and I don't love the color you chose, and I'm really sorry. Will you please come to Christmas? Thank you for apologizing because that was so rude when I was spying on you on my pet camera and I overheard your conversation that I was specifically looking to overhear because I know you hate me and I know you guys don't like me and I was looking for trouble and I'm using this as an excuse to not come to your family for Christmas. Also, they're pet sitting.

Starting point is 01:03:26 They're already doing you a favor. They're already doing you a favor. It's like crazy. It's so annoying. And also it's like, if you think they were talking shit on you then, imagine how much they're talking shit on you now. You're getting globally talked shit on, okay?

Starting point is 01:03:42 Look what you did, lady. Hello, slugs from Australia. Spread this around. Tell everyone what a bitch this lady is. If we were to talk to this woman with compassion, I think we would say, like, there's some work to do here for spying on. Better help slash Trash Tuesday. Don't spy on people. And, like, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:04:00 What else would we say? I would say home decor is not something that it's so subjective. Yeah. And it's not, it doesn't f***ing matter. Dude, I just had my, this summer I had my office like redesigned. I like invested in it. Like it was a huge deal. My mom comes.

Starting point is 01:04:18 She's like, this is what, this is what it is. You paid for this. Just fully rude, trashing it. And I'm like, I want to kill her. But then I was like, you know what?

Starting point is 01:04:31 It's great that my mom doesn't like this. You don't want your mom to like your shit. Yeah, this is great. She also might have just been thinking about you spending money. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:37 Do you know what I mean? It might have had nothing to do with what it looks like. But I also, I think it's both. I think she genuinely doesn't like it. And I'm like, okay.

Starting point is 01:04:44 If my mom liked everything I did I would not be here you would not be I would have a very normal very regular life yeah I agree okay the next one okay my best friend's wife is thinking of leaving for a gay man but she doesn't know he's gay oh my god my best friend's wife is thinking of leaving for a gay man but she doesn't know he's gay so she okay so who

Starting point is 01:05:06 so if my yeah let's suppose your your you want to leave Todd is it that the doctor is a woman

Starting point is 01:05:13 a guy right yeah you want to leave Todd for someone else but you don't know that someone else is gay but Esther and I know he's gay

Starting point is 01:05:20 what do we do but why is it it's it's his best friend's wife. So why does he know that his best friend's? Yeah, that's confusing. That's weird.

Starting point is 01:05:29 Are you the gay guy? No, the best friend probably confided in him. Like, hey, my wife wants to leave me. Oh, and knows who. But would she already know that part? I think it might be over when she says, I'm going to leave you for someone else. I think maybe that's it.

Starting point is 01:05:41 This would be like if we heard a rumor that Todd was leaving Annie for someone else i think maybe that's this would be like if we heard a rumor that todd was leaving annie for someone who was gay yeah it would be the same as todd we okay so todd decides to leave you for a chick it's not real okay i've already i've processed it okay so and then we um here he is leaving you for this girl. And Esther and I are like, isn't she gay? I don't think he knows she's gay. And Esther and I are like, no, I know for sure she's not even bi. She's fully gay and she doesn't like men. This sucks.

Starting point is 01:06:15 This is layered. Yeah, okay. I think you. Okay, hold on. Let's move on to a different one. I don't know who they're talking to though. So it's like I need a frame of reference of like. So they're asking like.

Starting point is 01:06:27 The confusing part is that it's his best friend. But I think if what it is, is it saying my wife is thinking of leaving for a gay man that I know is gay, but she doesn't. Or what about my friend is thinking of leaving her relationship for someone that's gay. What do you do? Tell them they're gay.

Starting point is 01:06:42 You go, that person's gay. I know they're gay. They're gay. But also kind of just like, again, let them choose their own adventure. But also leave your, I would say, if you want to leave someone, leave them. If that's your choice to leave and you, but if you're leaving for another person and someone knows they're gay, I mean, that might be a nice, does that person not reciprocated yet well whether or not she knows he's gay is she wants to leave anyways right so it doesn't matter if the guy's gay genuinely 100 gay then he's not he hasn't reciprocated with her yet so she's leaving on a chance anyway so let her leave on the chance

Starting point is 01:07:17 it could be like one of those gen z gays where they're like they like everybody i like information though it's like i would rather have like todd never like everybody. I like information though. It's like, I would rather have like, Todd never like allows secrets for me. Like someone tried to throw a surprise party and he told me immediately. It's like, I don't mind that. I don't mind if someone tells me like a fact they know about someone.

Starting point is 01:07:34 When I'm about to enter into something. If you're entering into that. Yeah, I'm not there yet. So it's like, yeah, before I go in, that'd be great. I just found out my dad's wife was cheating on him their entire marriage. She died three years ago. That's the juicy gossip.

Starting point is 01:07:47 You leave it. Yeah, I think you leave it. Let him go with the joy of the memory. And by the way, she pulled it off. What a G. Yeah, congratulations. That's how I felt. Like, if people are cheating on me and I don't find out, God bless you.

Starting point is 01:08:01 Unless the guy who she was cheating with killed her. And that's how she died. Like a poison? And then his dad is like spending the last years of his life trying to find out who killed his wife. Now we're just writing a movie. Well, we could always exhume her body. Should we raise money?

Starting point is 01:08:20 Yes. Guys, send it to our cash app. We'll get to it eventually. I think you leave this as it is and you just talk to your therapist about it and let your dad have peace. I think so too. I think so. I don't think there's any point in, like imagine how horrible he would feel if he thought his entire marriage was a lie. I have just a follow-up question. What if she was like, he's really hung up on her and she was like an awful person and you still wouldn't? She's gone. There's no outcome that needs to... You bury it. He could just live his whole life

Starting point is 01:08:56 not feeling betrayed. You bury it. Oh yeah. So we're gonna do a little, try a little segment called show me your tabs. We could do like the most unhinged text you sent or got this week. The most unhinged text I sent was to a friend and it says, I'm obsessed with Chris Christie's body. What? That's what it said. I texted Tim Dillon. I said, Hollywood is so gay. My last screenshot is I took a screenshot of my Skims order

Starting point is 01:09:26 this morning and sent it to my friend Rumi and I got the new boyfriend collection. I'm a little disrespected. I always send you my screen grabs of Skims. Do you? I got the whole new. Oh, I did see that. I thought I responded to that. Wait, how, is it cute? It's pretty cute. Yeah. I got, this is actually pretty unhinged for me. I sent my agent a text that said, I liked our talk yesterday. I've never enjoyed a talk with him before. So this is big. I have one from my lovely ex that says, I have a lump in my armpit. I think it's armpit cancer. Don't worry. And I said, oh, I have an appointment with Dr. K. Want to come with me? He goes, is he an armpit doctor? I said, he's an everything doctor, with Dr. K. Want to come with me? He goes, is he an armpit doctor?

Starting point is 01:10:06 I said, he's an everything doctor, ding dong. He goes, okay. I haven't seen him in so long. I love him. I love him. He's amazing. Same doctor. I have no unhinged texts because. You're pregnant? Yeah. They're just about like. That part of my life is like expired. I'm looking up requirements to become a boat captain. That's unhinged. that's unhinged that's unhinged a pilot captain can we talk also about the chris christie thing like are you quitting like just a boat captain you can't be so that i can take you guys on a boat that's can i drive you around to catalina don't put this on us like you want to hang out with us don Don't do that. Don't play us. Come on, jump in, guys. You're leaving us. Also, Jan Soltan. The Chris Christie thing is I think my TV was on and I saw a shot of him walking from spot A to spot B. And I was like, oh my God, like that is such, he has a very unique shape to

Starting point is 01:11:00 him. And like, I don't know how his legs hold him up but I really like his body it's I was like he literally has a fupa he has it is a cute body it is actually a cute body it's very humpty dumpty it's very round it's very cute but it's so cute no it's he's got a like badang so cute he's got a front and back badang he's got booty he's got 360 booty I like that I meant it I I mean I meant it when I said it I wasn't even trying to troll. I was like, I really like it. I sent my friend, I Google imaged Jan Sultan, my rolfer, to show my friend and he's so cute. Look at him. Isn't he the cutest man? What is rolfing again? I always think of frolfing, which is just frisbee golfing. That's so funny.

Starting point is 01:11:40 Wait, does Dave frolf? No, but we had that in high school. It kind of is a frothing of massage where it's like they do like, it's like a planned out like series of them. My guy and I do it a little bit differently, but it's like, it's like they, it's like a restructuring. I always say it wrong. It's like a restructuring of like the fascia so that your bones are in the place that they

Starting point is 01:12:03 were like originally supposed to be. He also just teaches me a lot. He's kind of like a teacher and he like just teaches me different things about my, I was having a problem with like the upper inside of my arch and he was like, that's the back of your knee. And it's changed my life. I just keep stretching the back of my knee. That's awesome. I'm loving this wellness journey that you're having right now. I've been on it the whole time. I'm just on a Zempix. I know how to, I can explain it. Did I tell you guys that I think I got jumped at my last massage?

Starting point is 01:12:36 So I looked up, there's this new massage place that I wanted to go to. And I looked at reviews because I always look at which masseuse to try. And everyone was like, this guy is the best. And it's going to seem at first like it's a terrible massage. But then the next day you'll realize that, oh, he healed me. So I was like, oh, I'm down for that experience. I'm telling you, like, I thought he like, I thought I was in a kumite. Like, I thought I was in a full blown fuckingown fucking, like, he beat me the fuck up.

Starting point is 01:13:06 And I'm used to deep tissue. I'm used to everything. This guy was angry. He was angry that I was taking too long to take my necklaces off. And, like, I thought, like, he cracked my orbital bone. How long were you taking, bitch? I had a fucking bruise on the side of my face. No, her face is her money.

Starting point is 01:13:22 I know. I love this. I want to be beaten in a massage. This is why it comes back full circle. Is it you? There was a part of me that wanted to make the appointment again this week with the same guy. Is he old? He is older.

Starting point is 01:13:36 He is very strong and he is very abusive and he is so mean and he f**ks me up. Is it acupressure? It's not. Is it far away? I sent you my acupressure guy. He'll f*** you up, bitch. Really? It's not even f*** you up. I like being f***ed up in all the right ways.

Starting point is 01:13:48 No, like he punched me up. Like he f***ing decked me a couple of times. Like you reminded him of someone. And then so I told my sister, I was like, that was like horrible. That was painful. And then a couple of days later, I was like, hey, can you book me a massage with Sam? You did it and went back with him? Are you f***ing crazy, Kalilah?

Starting point is 01:14:04 Because you want to see if you're wrong. I know. Yes. I want to know if I'm wrong about this guy. And also, this is why your red moon got killed so many times. This is why you keep going back into it, b***h. No, I'm with you. Go check it out again and then see what's up.

Starting point is 01:14:18 You just survived. But I have the Kung Fu acupressure. His main claim to fame is that he saved Scott Baio from back surgery. But did he save Scott Baio from Scott Baio? He cannot. No one can do that. No one can do that. But he's really amazing.

Starting point is 01:14:33 Have you guys ever gone, these are places I feel like have been popping up all over LA the last like five years. Have you ever gone to like a stretch place? Yeah. Where they'll stretch your body for you? Never, but I have seen them. That's like, I used to do that. Whenever I was like shooting a show, I would do that on the weekends and I feel like that

Starting point is 01:14:48 was really great. Did you do it also working out or did you do it like in place of working out? Because I've done that before. I don't know. I've done both. I don't remember. And is it still worth doing both times? I think it's very satisfying and helpful when I don't feel when I'm sore from working out but it's also because

Starting point is 01:15:05 I'm like I have like a block on foam rolling it's like basically like I don't want to do it myself so foam rolling is hard it's clunky it's just I'm on the floor there's dog hair on me I want it to be easier it's really I want it done to me I like it and as you guys know I broke my pinky toe on a foam roller. Oh, your arch nemesis. I'm so sorry. I should trigger warning. I know.

Starting point is 01:15:29 Wait, Esther, I saw on your IG story that you went to a scalp massage place. I did. Did you go to one in San Gabriel? Yes, I drove to San Gabriel. Yeah, I know that one. Tell me. Is it the one that the Kardashians? It is.

Starting point is 01:15:43 I didn't know that until I got there and saw pictures of them. My hair looked so good. Is that what it's for? What is it for? I don't know. Because I didn't. Okay, I did not go. What was the reason?

Starting point is 01:15:54 I did not go for like good hair because I don't care about hair or whatever. Basically, I did. She's cocky. She has good hair. Yeah, she just has good hair. I do have good hair. I'll give myself that credit. It's really.

Starting point is 01:16:03 It's a little greasy. It smells bad, but it's fine. Yes, it's often dirty. Um, but pregnancy has dried my hair out, which I think means I have a vitamin deficiency and it's not good, but you just have regular hair now. Yes. And I don't have to wash it. I could go. Okay. So this scout place I've been seen on TikTok and finally I'm like, I'm going, I booked a 90 minute thing. I think it was like 130 bucks plus tip. And basically like you get there, they do a zoom camera of your roots, which I could have done without. It's very scary in there. They're like, this is dry. What's moving around in there? There's a slug. Like, trust me when I

Starting point is 01:16:38 tell you, you do not want to see your scalp up close. It's but then you lay down they put you in like a bed that is a massager which I actually didn't like that I don't know if it's a pregnancy whatever so I didn't do that part but then they wash your hair scrub your scalp for like an hour it wasn't as it wasn't it was fine then they put like they rinse your hair with this rinsing machine. They wash it really good. Like you get fucking squeaky clean. Then you come out and they like comb your hair with this like vibrating comb. And like they do all this stuff. Do they then like sell the comb?

Starting point is 01:17:17 I don't think so. You can buy those combs though. They're not. There was no upselling though, which I appreciated. They were not trying to get me to buy anything else. And so just basically you go in 90 minutes, someone's like messing with your hair and it's great. I think I recommend it.

Starting point is 01:17:31 But I also think this version of me pregnant, I'd rather get a massage. It's, you kind of have to go. Like I would totally all three go. Like I would go. We need a massage with three hands. One of the things that puts me to sleep is anyone like playing with my hair or I love the sensation of like scalp scrubbing. It's the best.

Starting point is 01:17:48 My mom loves to pick scalps. Like my brother had like, this is like my mom's weird thing. My brother had like a little like crusty scalp when he was little and she loved picking it. I like that too. I like that too. I wish that Drybar would just offer like a really good shampoo. I got done dirty by Drybar once and I haven't been back. Drybar sucks.

Starting point is 01:18:07 Drybar gave me like a jerry curl. I was like, whoa. I said like the beach wave bitch. I was like, I look like culturally appropriation. Like I'm culturally appropriating. With this spray tan, I'd be very careful what I do. Like this is already Puerto Rican for the weekend. Like I gotta be careful.

Starting point is 01:18:22 I have never had a good experience at Drybar and I'm so mad about it because it's, like, in theory. It's such a perfect thing, yeah. In theory, it should have taken the need for me to ever bathe again away, and it has not done that. Though the bathing still doesn't happen. No.

Starting point is 01:18:36 Wait, have you done, like, a scalp spa thing? I've never, but I know that I've seen that all over TikTok recently. Did you know that existed before? Is it for hair growth? No, I only knew. I don't know. I'm doing still. I'm seen that all over TikTok recently. Did you know that existed before? Is it for hair growth? No, I only knew. I don't know. I'm doing still, I'm on the pick-me level. I'm still doing like, what are the strongest men doing?

Starting point is 01:18:52 What are the richest, strongest men doing? And I'll do anything I see like the hot girls on TikTok. Or Gen Z girlies. I'm like, I'm going to live to 110. No, and I'm like, I'm going to be beautiful and pretty just like them. I'm going to be a little baby forever. than 10. No, and I'm like, I'm going to be beautiful and pretty just like them. I'm going to be a little baby forever. So I'm in San Gabriel a lot because Asian and best Asian food, go get Vietnamese food. Best pho is in SGV. Can I be? Will you just? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to go on a field trip? Accept me?

Starting point is 01:19:15 All of the best restaurants are in SGV. And it's not far. It's not that far, but I always see the massage place and I'm always like, hmm, I saw it before it even blew up so I'm like huh like I wonder what that is but like you know it's like Korean skincare like is it Korean I'm not sure it's Korean but they're just ahead of the game right with so many things like that should be the name of it if it's an Asian place that we call it ahead of the game like if I ever go back to Japan which I need to do I want to research all the spots like that and go hard. She wants to go back. This is huge, Esther.

Starting point is 01:19:48 Oh, I've been wanting to go to Japan. I want to go. You changed. You became a different person. I think I went to Italy last summer. I sort of saw. And then also, again, suffering of pregnancy. Of course, right when you're pregnant and you can't travel anymore and then you're going to have a kid like take over your life.

Starting point is 01:20:06 That's when I want to see the world. Like, great. Thank you so much. Now memories of you getting. Dave's going to be pushing both of you in strollers. Oh, that is cute. Have you guys gotten lymphatic like drain massages? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:18 I think a while ago. Yes. My friend, you know, Bianca at the comedy store is like the hottest bitch alive. Yes. She gets them and her body's like, I mean, it's like crazy. Like I'm sure she already has a good body. They're so expensive. She goes to like the Korean spas, I think, and gets them.

Starting point is 01:20:32 She gets like, she's like, I am getting like, they beat her up though. It's like this guy, Sam. I'm fine with being beat up, but beat up correctly is different. The kung fu acting pressure rules. I love this conversation i think this is so perfect for like end of year because that is a time where i'm like i'm gonna you know it's been a it's been a year let's invest do a little self-care go to the scalp spa get a lymphatic whatever you know wait you know what my like we've probably talked about this

Starting point is 01:21:07 here already but like I think the most innovative spa treatment the future of spa treatments basically the biggest innovation in the last can I guess 50 years what yeah when they pull and stretch you to be taller one person pulls your head and the other one pulls the legs you're triggering me because when I was little, my dad said, you could go in a stretching machine if you want to be taller. And then I thought that was real and found out it wasn't. It was just in China. Oh.

Starting point is 01:21:31 They can also just break your legs, girl. Yeah, you can. There's a whole system and you're going to look very disproportionate. It's just not FDA approved. Okay. Then it is. You're probably going to be like, no, that's not that big of a deal because you've known about it for a while.

Starting point is 01:21:46 I think buckle face massage is the most important. It's hard to find places that do it. It's very new. It's like very invasive. If you don't know, it's like when they put gloves on, they fucking go in your mouth. It's like for your jaw, too. They like go in jaw, up the thing. So a stranger's hand is now in your mouth. It's very violating. But too. They like go in jaw, up the thing. So a stranger's hand is now in your mouth.

Starting point is 01:22:06 It's very violating. But I think that's like the future of spa. I think that's the most important spa treatment to get. And also they find like, like my girl that does it, she like finds like knots in my cheek. Like there's like knots inside your cheek. I feel that. And it's not enjoyable. Not to hype up the boy I'm with, but one of the perks is that he gives the best facial massages.

Starting point is 01:22:28 With his penis. He shoves his penis in your mouth and then… Like now I just plop. Like if we're watching TV, I'll go in front of him and he already knows that I… It's so… He hits all the spots because he has bad TMJ. But he also just is like a healer type. He knows massages.

Starting point is 01:22:45 He knows like anatomy. I've never been the steal your boyfriend type until right now. He is just the fucking best with the massages. And I'm just there like every night he does this for me. And like when I'm not with him, I'm like, fuck, like I can feel my jaws like tensing up. That's all I care about now. It's like I will stay with him forever just for that. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:23:05 Todd gives me massages too. It's the best. Like when I had my cluster headaches, it's like I don't know what. It's just I can't even believe I had to go through them with the boyfriends I had before. He just like, I mean, he saved my life. What does he do? He just like massages like the pain area. And it's like it doesn't like it helps it a little.

Starting point is 01:23:23 It doesn't get rid of them. But it's like it's just anything, you know. It's just, that's why I love my Rolf so much. When I had my cluster headaches, I would, like, go to him. And he was, he has such, like, a deep sorrow that he couldn't, like, solve it for me. But it was, like, I always, like, tell him, it's, like, just the fact that you were, like, a witness to the pain and were able to, like, teach me at least, like, the connection between the different, like, pain points. It was, like. Why? I have that have that too if I need my suffering to be witnessed I think it's something people don't like believe too it's like a weird thing people don't understand like when Dave was there when

Starting point is 01:23:54 I had my first vomit from the pregnancy I was just like that helped yeah he saw that yeah he saw how bad that was that really helped well because sometimes it's almost like I don't want to be like exaggerating. I mean, obviously the cluster headaches are different, but it's like. It's hard to be like, this was so bad. Yeah. And everyone's like, it's already over too. And people are like, what are you talking about? You're fine now, right?

Starting point is 01:24:14 So yeah, it's, I think you're absolutely onto something there. Like, it's like, they're not able to understand the gravity of what you're going through until they're there in the room with you. And that feels so, so seen and validated i'm like why is that good i don't know but i like which is why i've changed my mind but back in the day i used to think that um if i were to ever vaginally give birth that i wouldn't want my husband to see the baby um coming out coming out but now i'm like no no no he has to see what my body has gone through he absolutely has to see if i have whatever type of tears i have he has to see it i don't agree and i've thought about this anyone that wants to watch my baby come out of me

Starting point is 01:24:59 however it's coming now are you speaking to them now go to their signup.com no i think that's i that's too violating come on it's his baby it's my vagina ripping up but he his penis put the sperm in you it's his baby that's nothing aster i completely agree but also he would dave if if you had a paper cut he would faint so i'm fine he's paper cut, he would faint. So I'm fine. He's not going to do it. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But would you let someone watch that?

Starting point is 01:25:29 Of course. You would? Yeah. It depends what kind of guy I'm with. If it was like a Bobby, not a chance in hell. He would be like, or a vagina for like the next 10 episodes. He'd be like, oh, you should have seen the way her fuck, you know. But if it was with, somebody has to be a certain type who can like look at it and be like wow this is actually

Starting point is 01:25:49 incredible like it's a type of guy that is okay with that stuff i think it depends it's a case by case thing listen if uh if the baby you put in me that's our baby comes out and you're grossed out by it like we have way bigger problems but i'm not thinking that they'd be grossed out i'm grossed out she but what she was i was because back in the day i used to think like i just was like i don't want because i heard a story that when elvis presley saw priscilla give birth he never wanted to have sex with her again he's a madonna whore guy yeah yeah so like that somehow stuck into my young fucking 20-something head. And I was like, oh, you're never going to see my vagina other than it's like pristine condition.

Starting point is 01:26:29 And I'm like, actually, no, you should. You probably fucking should. Guys, there are lasers. It's fine. Yeah, it snaps back. Everything can be. No, everyone I've talked to is like, don't worry. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:39 Yeah, it's fine. I'm not concerned about— I'm so glad that's what you said. I was like afraid you were going to say the opposite. Nothing works. No, people are like, it's not what you think. And the baby's head shrinks on its way out and your body does what it needs to do. I'm not concerned about the vanity of it at all.

Starting point is 01:26:54 But the terror and trauma of it is I'm very scared about. Yeah. But I don't have to think about that for a really long time. But I think your body does a really good job or your brain does a good job of protecting yourself. Because this is why, like, women have two, three kids. Because my friends who have more kids are like, you kind of just forget. You have this amnesia happen. And you don't remember the pain of labor until you have a second kid.

Starting point is 01:27:17 And then you have a third one. So I'm like, that's a weird thing that your brain just. Imagine three. What if you change and you become like. Who knows? You have like seven kids. Yeah. I wouldn't rule that out. No, I know. thing that your brain just imagine three what if you change and you become like who knows yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't rule that out no i know who but it's crazy you're from a family of three that's crazy my mom was real pissed about it and then that that's even honestly all of my core wounds are because my like my mom was pissed there was two i and i feel for her she got two

Starting point is 01:27:42 and she wanted one and when you already had one you're not going to just assume two are coming. And her mom died when she was pregnant with us. She was probably so pissed. She was like, the fucking timing of that. I'm also like, I know twins are like a magical, beautiful thing for sure. But I also. Thank you. I'm waiting for you to say it.

Starting point is 01:27:57 But let's end on that note. Just vaginal tearing. No. Yes. The terror of tearing. And would you. Guys, comment below. Like comment below like subscribe comment click the bell let us know if you are a boy slug if you want to watch that tear and ladies if you want to

Starting point is 01:28:13 spread that vajazz hole and and show everyone i also would love to know if people have like real insightful thoughts just even in the comments. Like because we've talked about some big things this episode like, you know, me wanting to intervene in relationships that I don't approve of. And like you going back to a person who hurt you and what's that? Like if you guys have thoughtful feelings about that, share because. And if you have like shared love for Chris Christie's body, please like write me. And if you have any comments on my semi-glutide use, you can keep those to yourself. I'm vibrating too high to see you.

Starting point is 01:28:49 By the way, I just want to say something about that. Thank you for actually saying it out loud. I am so sick and tired. I know. I will be completely honest with you guys. And I also want to be very clear. I have no interest in being very thin.

Starting point is 01:29:01 So if the minute that starts happening, it's gone. And I don't believe in this shortage. I'm so sorry. You can come up with any statistics you want. I never believed in it. It was a very simple thing for me to do. And maybe don't get the name brand with the clicker thing and just get the thing from the.

Starting point is 01:29:17 Yeah, you could just get straight to the appetite. And so I don't care what you think. But if I can inspire some people to see that maybe there's some other benefits to it. But I'll be honest with whatever happens in the future. And most importantly, happy freaking New Year, you guys. We will not be seeing you until next week, which is literally next year. Have extremely safe New Year's Eves, okay? Stay home with mom and dad.

Starting point is 01:29:41 Pop open a book. Have an Esther. Pop open a book. I won Esther. Pop open a book. I won't allow you to say that next to me. Do not pop open a book. By the way, my friend wrote a book about running and he gave it to me. I was like, oh, cool. Two things I don't do.

Starting point is 01:29:56 Running and reading. Thanks, dude. Throw this in the trash. But you guys, please have safe New Year's Eve. Take Ubers. Don't get too drunk. You know what to do. Get up. Don't get too drunk. You know what to do. Get f***ed up.

Starting point is 01:30:06 Don't. But live. Get f***ed up. Have fun safely. We love you. And we want to see you next week with a brand new episode in 2024. We love you guys. Enjoy your flowers.

Starting point is 01:30:17 That was really wholesome. Thank you.

Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - What To Do When You Hate Your Friend’s Partner + Fan Q’s! - Ep 149

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