Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Wholesome Soup & Hot Guy DMs

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

Thank you to our Sponsors:   BetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at https://betterhelp.com/trashtuesday Manscaped - Get 20% off + free shipping at https://www.manscaped.com with the code TRASH  Truebill - Cancel unwanted subscriptions with just a tap at https://truebill.com/trashtuesday Blue Chew - Go to https://bluechew.com and try BlueChew FREE with promo code TUESDAY at checkout--just pay $5 shipping Trash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/HitOurButtons Official Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/trashtuesdayclips Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: George Kimmel & Pete Forthun Editor: Gabby Galon --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trashtuesday/message

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it's free shocking that esther that's what you were about to say right yes it's free uh-huh it's always number one on our list it's free everyone wants to freaking start a podcast this is the easiest way we're about to tell you there's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and and and they will distribute your podcast for you so it it can be heard from spotify apple podcasts and all of the platforms basically also you can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership the best i mean imagine that that's like the lowest that's low pressure everything you need with anchor everything you need to make a podcast all in one place just download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started you guys come see me

this week the 26th and 27th in my hometown philadelphia at the punchline it's going to be absolutely incredible i cannot wait then you can see me at the Punchline. It's going to be absolutely incredible. I cannot wait. Then you can see me at the Irvine Improv for one night on December 2nd. I'll be in New Jersey at Bananas Comedy Club December 16th through 18th. Milwaukee Improv, January 21st through 22nd. My Austin dates got moved to August.

I have a bunch coming up. Please go to AnnieLetterman.com slash shows. Hey, you guys. I am coming to Salt Lake City January 14th and 15th. Get tickets at EstherOnIman.com slash shows hey you guys i am coming to salt lake city january 14th and 15th get tickets at esther on ice.com and i'm also coming to austin texas february 24th to 26th come see me at cap city comedy club esther on ice.com today's episode there you go and sleepover bastard.com annie is wearing it today and it looks very cute on her buy my merch are we in some sort of like sex

there's like a it's a sexual undertones but like there's like some sort of struggle it's a sexual struggle who's gonna make the first move on each other or Kalilah

I'm a pizza today guys kalilah does look hot and this is annoying no yeah this is offensive i look like a green clan member who am i going after what race am i going after you're going after all vegetables you hate kale i hate vegans what race is associated with green jews money you hate jews oh no irish well oh no you like jews because klansmen wear white because they like white people right well do i like i should know better they marched in my hometown skokie illinois they that's oh my god you're so cool i know the kkk chose our town because we're the most holocaust survivors and the aclu fought for them for the aclu gave the kkk the freedom of speech this is the one thing I know that you'll learn in school.

Cut it all out. Let's cut it out. Start over. Cut over. Well, welcome to the Thanksgiving episode, everybody. We're dressed as, well, Annie and I are dressed as vegetables today and Esther is dressed in her favorite food of all time, popcorn. today and Esther is dressed in her favorite food of all time popcorn but what if what if I came downstairs today and I saw the my popcorn machine and Esther was just smushed inside it I live here

now I pour so much hot butter on you I I do think about your popcorn machine like a few times a week. It's so good. Did she make you send pictures of its hair? No. My mom asked me about it. She's like, so did Annie get her popcorn machine yet? I'm like, yeah, mom, she has it already. Mary, you've always got a place to stay. Okay. We know Esther doesn't have the best snacks.

Sometimes she cooks some vegan treats that we often pretend. Oh, okay. Did she use salt instead of sugar? Why do they look so much alike? You guys, we're going to try something new this week. Uh-oh. Since our whole show. Being ugly?

Being hideous in costumes? Since our whole show tends to be on the edgier side, we're going to try this new exercise called Wholesome 10. In the first 10 minutes of the show, we're going to talk strictly about wholesome things. Is this because we got demonetized on YouTube? Maybe. But Esther, you start. Let's talk about soups. I'm really going to shine today. I can't do this. I'm like, one time I stuck my dick in a soup. No, no. Okay, so today's topic is soups. Wow. Wish I had some time to prepare. Do you like soups? Is it a comfort food?

Do you make them? It's really not filling enough. Do you ever make soups in your undies? Little doo-doo soups? Honestly. Honestly. Little mud puddle? This is the opposite of wholesome.

Everybody doo-doos. No, not doo-doo, but but like it's a creamy amora clam chowder when i take edibles i get so fucking turnt like horny yeah so you're making clam chowder down there i'm making like uh the icing that you dip your cinnamony rolls from burger king in i guess that's more like man jizz, but this is not going well. Guys, wholesome 10. Listen, the days of having Esther just talk about soup

like she's in third grade ended when she started taking those cream pie edibles that she's taking. Those little cream up edibles. You cannot just tell us that we have to be wholesome. It's just going to make me and annie go

nuts and we're gonna end up eating each other out esther's a drug a sexual druggie now yeah it's yeah i gotta stop talking can i can i say something i think you're okay this is my guess this is my dr annie my my doctor's office you don't want to walk my listen my well you want to walk out of let's just say that um okay so esther i believe that before you smoked weed you were riddled with anxiety yes your anxiety was uh was making you seem a little bit younger and you were worried about things now that you're not worried about pre lexapro though like you almost have to go lexapro and then we okay so lexapro fucking changed everything right don't get don't get it twisted i'm not getting it twisted okay lexapro you're a very important piece of this puzzle but thank you you were still annoying on it no but you had start anxiety and

stuff okay yeah then now now that you're on the edibles and you're not having this anxiety you have all this extra time and it turns out the extra space in your mind is just that you're a sexual deviant this entire time you have been and to get where you're at you couldn't let people know what you are you would never have made it you were too look too young like I was I would have been I would have just been a porn star yes you would have been made it. You were too, looked too young. Like I was, I would have been, I would have just been a porn star. Yes, you would have been a porn star.

Yeah. And some very questionable porns. Okay. And that would have, it would have been a hit. Let's just say it would have been a hit. What categories do you guys go for? Oh God,

Miss Wholesome. I, we can keep it wholesome. A soup, I love, listen, I do love a chunky bite in a soup, but I prefer to not go cream.

It's too heavy. Is soup a category? I think I do like Asian soup. I do like pho is my favorite. Yeah, you love pho. I literally know that about you. I remember the first time we talked, Annie, on FaceTime, you went on about pho for a whole hour.

Because I don't like it. I was like, I know a place. It's so boring, too. No, pho's the best. Are you kidding me? Listen, the place that I, the. I think it's skinny person food, though. So like, I'm jealous that you like it because only if you don't eat the noodles and only if you don't add like the tendons.

What do you get? What do you guys get in your pho? I don't like when I load it up. When it's chewy. The tendons. The tendons the best. I like the beef. I like the cartilage.

I don't like that. Yeah, the cartilage. I don't like that. I know you guys are successfully having the soup conversation, but it's really hard to know how to do your hair in the popcorn outfit. You honestly look like an NFL linebacker, not popcorn. You look like Kalilah. Pho-uh-cue.

Pho-uh-cue. That's the name of my Pho restaurant. Isn't it upsetting that it's Pho and not Pho? Yes. Doesn't it feel bad to say pho pho george sounds wrong suck my dick we need to we need to call a vietnamese um person too because sometimes i've heard it's not even either somewhere in between yeah we're not getting it right the pronunciation of pho yeah i thought you meant this episode

where's the magic guys we're too we're we're just reeling off of the shoving those things in each other's assholes episode. That was so fun. I know. I know. I mean, and the saddest part is that that wasn't a planned bit. That was just on the fly. Like you want to put stuff up my butt. Okay. Yeah. That was all of us. That's just who we are. I think about this a lot. It's like, we're all double downers, in our own way like yes you're you're a downer twice except for me i won't eat spiders sorry but like i do feel like when it comes like sexual body stuff we're all just like sure put it in you like double dick so anyways categories on porn hub you guys just go for it like whatever is 89 up top on the party when you

first you don't what i don't watch porn i don't either anymore but you know my heyday over it what do you watch esther what's your cat wait you don't watch it never felt healthy and it never felt i used to watch like amateurs i don't know i just don't and how do you i don't like porn stars i don't i don't know i mean not that i don't like them in general but i don't like the idea of that watching someone at work it's like not how do you i used to like james dean then he was a rapist it's like i like how rough he was if you don't watch porn how do you jay um my head that's the best way i think my head is not it doesn't work really no i've never no it's just so annoying because i just spent the week with my parents

and they watch every fucking episode and now they know you've been flicking your bean. And it's like this is the conversation. I hate this. This is our family. This is our family. George looks like he has something to say. The wholesome 10. Wholesome 10. Okay, we're going to hard reset. Here we go. Hard reset. We're going to start with the wholesome 10 again.

Wait, I want to ask a question before we reset. Do your parents, have your parents adopted the nickname for you, Go-Go Queen? No, but if you want to actually go there and have me tell you what happened with my parents, we may need to cut this out,

but I can't actually keep it in any longer. So I was on a morning walk with my mom and dad the first day I got to their house. And my dad goes, wow, Kalilah sure loves ass licking. By the way, you might think that's the bad part

that's that's the part that didn't even bother me kalilah sure loves ass licking and my mom goes wait a second what skull fucking oh oh she goes oh i just realized what it is That's what your dad does to me. Yes, Mary. Oh, my God, Mary. Good for you, girl. Just hang back. Do you understand? Chill out.

You've done enough. You do the dishes, Mary. You do the dishes. Do you understand the trauma? The actual sexual trauma that I am living with now? I like when you said sexual trauma. I just imagined a saxophone yeah and then they brought it up again later at dinner because it because guess what fucking

holiday it was this past weekend dia de los muertos my birthday so there's skulls everywhere for day of the dead at the mexican restaurant did your dad just go up and fuck all of them and my dad just goes points to the skulls and And my mom's like. And I finally, it got really serious. And I was like, hey, mom, do you want a picture of your mom and dad fucking doing that? And she's like, oh, OK. So that's what I'm dealing with. Thanks to this hit show. I think that we should, as a team or as girls, reclaim skull fucking.

Because it's always been something that dudes have you know bragged about doing to girls and i think what they don't realize is like we're lazy yeah we wouldn't we don't want our neck to go back and forth so we just take it and the jokes on fuck the jokes on them a million percent i also will say i like the word face fuck a little better maybe because my parents ruined skull fuck for me but like i 100 actually think that you have started here on this show a feminist movement that's pro face fucking and i i i texted george i want to make shirts that say either i want to skull fuck me i'm a slug or like face fuck me i'm a feminist because i feel like we are creating the positive Facebook movement. NNM. We're manifesting that all you women out there just lean back and open up.

Okay? No neck movement, ladies. Do not move a muscle. You can't. You can't. If you're a slug, we don't do neck movement. We don't have necks. We just lay back and take it.

And they think they're doing something to us, but it's really we're winning. Yeah. We're not doing any work. No calories burned during blow jobs anymore this is iconic apparently my mom and stepdad still are very active and um that knowledge was that information was dropped on me about two weeks ago excuse me please tell me more well you know my mom's a fucking cyborg right yeah we know that she probably like couldn't hardcore fuck still but

i'm really surprised my stepdad's like well into his 70s and he's you know he's on a lot of meds and apparently he still likes to fuck my parents haven't fucked since 1991 my parents would always make jokes about how they didn't i'm like okay literally i'm jealous i've never been more jealous well yeah i guess you don't they love each other best friends now maybe they fuck i don't know there was one actually there was one valentine's day that's true they also might be really good at keeping when i was leaving when i was when i was living at home and i didn't have any friends my parents were like uh do you mind or is that anniversary or something like can you like go out like and i was like i literally can't i have no friends i had no one to go hang out with

and i just heard like oh slow and slow and deep well they got to make it last they only do it once a decade slow fucking's good i like that slow fuck how did you feel about it you gotta have slow yeah slow first yeah did it mess you up it was was gross, but I was happy for them. Does it mess you up to know that your mom is fucking your stepdad? Because I have a theory

because it doesn't gross my sister out as much as it does to me because my dad is her stepdad. So I'm like, is it easier if it's... It should be worse.

It should be worse. Her mom's getting plowed by some strange man. My mom does the plowing in this one, so I don't feel as bad. Is your mom with pegs or stuff, dad? You guys have seen my mom.

Call her up. Call her up. My mom, I mean, it's weird because they're both control freaks, so I don't know how that works. Who takes charge? I feel like you do. You come in and you're like, listen, I'm taking control of this one. You are on the bottom today.

You're on the top. I would love for you to do that for me and Dave. What, just? Choreograph something for us to do. Be in the room when you fuck. Made it too easy yet again. You really are just, it's like, I feel like I'm at the batting cage as you do. And it's like really slow.

I just like, my life is so easy when I'm around. It's like, people think I'm like a comedic genius because you're such a fucking ding-dong. You're such a layup. It's like the easiest moments. I literally, when we're getting out of the car, I was like, let's go do our hit podcast that is the easiest thing in the world to do. It is because you're a slug. My dad literally this weekend said to me, he's like, to me, Esther, your comedic strength is that you make other people funnier.

You really do. I was like, thanks, Dad. Esther, so you were at the airport and you were stopped by TMZ. Yeah. Isn't that crazy? They asked, and it was really rude. Well, first of all, he asked me about working with britney spears boyfriend because he did a guest spot on doll face and then okay fed wait is he the one that is he the one that's too

hot for you he doesn't play my no he doesn't play that role but so her current boyfriend yeah brit her fiance fiance he was on our show he's super cute he's super nice but then he was like what do you think about pete dav Pete Davidson dating all the hot girls? Why do – he goes – the TMZ guy goes, why do the funny guys get all the hot girls but it doesn't work the other way around? Funny girls don't – and I'm like, bro, you just call me ugly. Like you literally just call me ugly. And I was – So you make everyone funnier. The TMZ guy is killer.

I punched his shit up. And he felt really bad. But I was like, I was like, it's fine, whatever, like, have a nice day.

What were you wearing? What were you like, dressed like? Did you look like shit? Of course I looked like shit. Are you kidding me? No makeup. You were wearing

the popcorn outfit? But it did make me think, like, I wish that I would have said, like, yeah, I'm a funny jewish comedian nobody any athletes want to fucking call me up like isn't it is weird like why don't

like because why don't you say funny things when people give you an opportunity no bitch why why are the men of podcasting like probably being hit up a million times on their shows and everything by women that doesn't happen to us why don't hot men hit you up is that a thing do they not hit you yeah that's so sad i get hit up by hot guys all the time like gorgeous gorgeous men. Esther, honestly, at least 10 a day by the hottest men. This podcast is not worth it for me anymore. It's not my mental health. It's not worth it. Why don't you slap some lashes on every once in a while?

Who is hitting you fucking? Honestly, sometimes I show jewels. I'm like, look at these men. There's been a few Navy SEALs where I'm like. Me too. Me too. This was not a bit. This is not a bit.

No. I get hit up by like really like successful, gorgeous men. I think mine suffer from a little PTSD from the military. But, you know. Oh, sorry, Esther. Maybe you're not paying attention. You bullied yourself. George.

George doesn't want you either. George, hold me. She's trying to get George to hit on her. George, tell me I'm hot. George, hold me in your arms. Is something preventing you from achieving your goals? Too many things. Anxiety, seasonal depression.

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Avoid that by going to BetterHelp.com. We want you to start living a happier life today. And as a listener, you'll get 10% off your first month by visiting our sponsor at BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday. Join over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health. Again, that's betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday. Dear Santa, all I want this holiday season is for my man to have smooth jingle balls. Thankfully, Manscaped answered with a performance package 4.0, so I don't have to find Santa's beard in my pants ever again. In your man's pants.

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I thought maybe you were wearing them. That would be so awesome. You get 20% off plus free shipping with the code trash at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code trash. Naughty or nice, manscaped is the number one gift on santa's list but it jokes on them because i'm not into like super gorgeous oh i'm not into i'm not into any dms yeah no of course i love fat trolls though that's my weakness i'll fuck a fat troll you mean like a short man or a man on the internet or me you mean like a man on the internet or a woman sitting next to me you mean like the like

how they look yeah i'm not really into tens like i'm not really into um you're a naughty girl aren't you there's a guy who's pretty handsome who i did a festival with years ago in like 2012 and he's very like educated and successful and he I couldn't believe I didn't know if he was hitting on me or not and then this is gonna be so obvious who it is really I I didn't think I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or not and he kept like kind of leaving these like these yeah and then it was like he owned Amazon I don't want to say his name but he did shoot up in his face in a penis looking thing. I was like, is he hitting on me? I could never really tell. And he there were like a lot of opportunities where it felt like he wanted me to make the move. And I was just like, that's not going to happen. And nothing happened. And I was always like, I wonder.

And then he married my celebrity doppelganger. And I was like, oh, you were. Uh? You were trying. You were trying. Maybe he wasn't. I don't know. Can't confirm. Oh. But I remember being like, I can't imagine. But let's just say he has a type.

Yeah, I just was like, I can't imagine this person with all of these. I remember. I can confirm. I remember you telling me. Like, if he worked at a gas station, I'd be like, maybe he's into me. Do you know what I mean? Like, but the fact that he was, like, so successful, I old me it was like self-esteem thing but I could probably bang a hot guy now but I have a hot wonderful man I was thinking about this I think I I think why did you look at me when you

said that well I never say man I land on you I just want to make sure you know I don't want her to feel bad about her man shoulders and I want you to feel really bad about yours I think Todd is the best boyfriend I've ever heard like written and I'm like in the world I don't think there's ever been a better boyfriend not to sound like a total nerd but I love him I like I had a dream that he left me and I was very mad at him a nightmare that he left me and Randy for a waitress and a job as a waiter he's like I can promise you one thing I will never leave you for a job as a waiter he's like i can promise you one thing i will never leave you for a job as a waiter but he um i was like heartbroken i woke up like crying i was so sad i hate those dreams yeah i've had it for like two days of course you have to be he did something it's

fucked up do you ever have a sex dream about someone that you would never have thought that you would hook up with and then like all then for like the next week you're like looking at that person like all the time or you have a pheromone match like you ever like hug someone and you're like oh my god what cologne are you wearing and they're like i'm not wearing cologne and then you're like like jesus wants me to have kids with you wait i've never had that that sounds so fun really no it's never a good person come in you've never had a pheromone match i can smell you from here it's not a match i was watching an old episode or not a couple episodes ago or maybe it was one that didn't come out but i was thinking about how you were like made fun of me for my deodorant stains and

i was like oh that's the thing you've never had to deal with deodorant stains that's funny i had them on the shirt today and i tried to there's a was it from a couple days ago it was not from today no I wore this yesterday this is my sleepover by Esther shirt I wore this I can't believe you're wearing that that's not even for sale I literally can't even believe that you have not realized that I've been the best friend you've ever had in your entire life the whole time because you're like I didn't wear any today and here you are wearing it that's the jazz top and black it's not even out that's like and look at these pants these are not Sleepover by Esther, but they're so good. Yeah, those are hot.

Those are hot pants. Isn't the X the. Uh-huh. I love that. And I've been training. I'm getting ripped. My booty pop. I need to catch up.

I think you need a little tramp stamp. You don't need to catch up. I'll get it. Yeah, a little Kalilah. Yeah. By the way. How's it going? It's crusty, but it's wonderful.

I love it. My favorite part of the whole thing is when I gave her cowboy boots and you went, how did you still get a better present? It's like, Esther, your present was better, I promise. You think it's better? Dave says it's not a present. It's not even a real present. Dave is a hater, okay?

It's a present to yourself. I got me something on your birthday. One time, a boyfriend did do that to me. Skull fuck? Well, they all do that to me. But he was like, this is the one and only narcissist I ever dated. I was like, oh, we wouldn't even been together a month. And I was like, I'm going back to the Philippines for six weeks, blah, blah, blah.

But it was right around Christmas time. So for Christmas, he was like, here's your gift. And he had like tears in his eyes. And he was like, here's your gift. He's like like I really just want to let you know he molded your vagina for himself yeah this is a really special gift and I've never done this before and I opened a gift and it's a plane ticket for him to fly to the Philippines oh to destroy my vacation which he very much did and I'm like oh thank you so much you're meeting me there like he he forced himself into my vacation i didn't know what to do because i was 22 i didn't

know what to do that's like if someone gives you a gift and it it's like a picture of themselves in a frame like i always think about that like i want to give you like a cardboard cutout of me but it's your size so you can finally feel equal to me. My size Annie? It could fit in like an envelope. Are people – when people see you on the road, are they like, oh my God, you are small? Not really. When I see – when people come up to me, they're always like, but how tall really is Esther? I always like draw on the shirts like Esther is this tall.

Like I show on the bottom of the shirt where Esther's head would come up. by the way i did do the shows finally in portland and san francisco so fun i see what you were talking about it's amazing the slugs the the they're fucking amazing they're freaks they get us they they understand us it is just like unreal yeah i see what you i told you i've been like guys yeah it's been so fun i'm um i'm going i'm excited i'm going to uh my hometown for thanksgiving to do shows are you guys going home for thanksgiving i don't know i have no thanksgiving plans you guys want to come with me to philly i've never been to philly pop that rate up wait i have a question for you guys is thanksgiving like a big to do in your family?

Absolutely not. Oh, I'll tell you about my family. My parents go, oh, we got to figure out what we're doing for Thanksgiving. And I go, Todd's parents sold the house. They don't have a house. And they're going, oh, they were so upset. They were like so hopeful that we were going to go to Todd's parents house. Really? Oh, my parents will go to like they would end up in Skokie with your parents. Like my parents will go anywhere. I love that would end up in Skokie with your parents. Like, my parents will go anywhere. I love that energy. It is good energy. It is good energy.

Love that fucking energy. My parents love to be fed. They love laughing. They love a party. But they do not want to do. And nobody else wants it either. It's not their. Yeah.

It's like when I go help people move and I just am talking. Yeah. We all have our roles. I love things. And I think that my family is the inviter not the invitee oh really like we're the people that love to bring people in

like the strays so why don't you bring your whole family to Philadelphia rent a place yeah and rent a whole house that's actually so funny I wonder if that is a cultural thing

because my best friend Christina who has a very large Cuban family they fucking like I'm open door. I can always show up to anything.

And that makes me feel so amazing. Same. Yeah. Same. It's always it's like very second nature for us to host and to have like on our like, for instance, Christmas, we always have Jenna. We always have our Jewish friends. Yeah. And we put the for them

we put the menorah we put everything for them so it's uh everyone comes for christmas and it's a big fun can i come full of games party should we is this yeah christmas i'm she's like uh yeah i can we call it um we should do a we need to figure out our holiday. We need to coordinate holiday plans. Maybe we should do like a virtual Christmas thing. That's my time off. Oh, yeah. You do not get time off, George. This is so ridiculous.

This is time. This is your time off. We get to watch us stick things in our assholes. This is your break. Okay? Your job with us is your banana break. Okay? Your work is at home but i will invite

you to our bonanzas our holiday bonanzas i didn't grow up with thanksgiving so i'm just learning to to like it and i'm like oh like turkey and like the foods don't excite me do you associate like with the native americans because you like my people maybe maybe inherently that's why but i don't i didn't grow up with it so it doesn't excite me the only thing that excites me about thanksgiving is that it's a marker that the next day i get to get a tree and i'm a big christmas person yeah and i'll get three christmas trees i don't just get one i decorate the whole house it's a big thing we're gonna we have tall ceilings now so we're gonna get a really really Oh, can I help you guys do your tree up? You guys, holiday season, Trash Tuesday.

This is going to be, like, really fun. This is the Thanksgiving one right now. No, I, yeah. But I mean, like, oh, okay. Wait, Annie, when are you getting a tree? Don't get it too soon because it will dry out unless you're really good at watering it. Well, we know the answer to that. I got to water it.

Call Todd. Let's ask Todd what he's willing. We are leaving, too, but we're only going to be gone for a little bit. The only thing with Christmas is we're going to go to the Cowboys game the 26th. Oh, wait. Both of you guys are Cowboys fans or just Todd? Is it here? It's in Texas, but Todd's dad is a big Cowboys fan, so he got tickets for his dad.

Because look what we have on the board. It says football predictions. What do you guys know about football? I don't know why George. I know that my boyfriend bets on it, and now I'm interested. Before, when money wasn't involved, I was like, sports, I don't want to get. Now I'm like, how much are we winning? Oh, no.

I'm going to have to have a one-on-one meeting with you and my dad set up. What, so he can teach me how to do it he's an expert or either of you guys he's not a sports better but yeah no but a better is a better that's correct it's just something he hasn't gone into fallen into well he studied like he watches the games when your dad sees a skull he goes i'd better all right but just watch squid game it's the best it's the best way to not, to kind of pull back. Did you not see Squid Game? No, I need to.

Are you fucking kidding me? Really? It's over. It's done. Your dad needs to watch Squid Game. Because it's like, the storyline is about, you know, a gambler who loses everything. Right. But then he wins the hearts of-

Of many. Netflix executives. Every Netflix person. The person that has netflix in every country i have a fun fact the only broke bone i've ever broken on my body has been because of a football catching very fun look this one's crooked because if you weren't being raped when this happened i'm not interested i was It was the rape. You were the skins in the scrimmage.

I was skins. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I was like, what other show can say that? Esther, I really want to see you catch a football. Esther's screaming at me and going, you're too fucking ugly to get raped. Can you catch it? Sure. Go ahead.

Oh, my God. What is this attitude? Look at stoner girl. Give her a hockey sack. She'll be able to do that oh my god i hated that i hated that and it hurt my hand don't ever do that she went nail first to catch it make your predictions um okay so the chicago bears from what i understand growing up are not doing that great. They suck. Are they doing well, George? They did well for like about 10 minutes of the game. Yeah, it was surprising. Which I actually

watched some of that because my parents are watching it. Your parents watch Sports and Trash Tuesday. Those are their things. And the Annie Letterman. The Bears and Us. Okay, so Bears at Lions. Okay. So it's at Lions. In Detroit. So they're playing an away game. Okay, so Bears at Lions. Okay. So it's at Lions in Detroit. So they're playing an away game. Okay, so it's an away game.

Here's the thing, though. The same climate. So there's no climate advantage. You know, sometimes you think a hot team playing a cold team. Very smart. That could interfere. Applies to baseball as well. You're very correct.

So we got cold on cold. Doesn't apply to hockey, though. Okay, we got a cold team on a cold team in the Midwest. You know what? The Bears, I just, I've been trained to grow up believing that the Chicago teams are losers. What? Not the Cubs.

The Cubs are amazing. Now, but it's like go back to the 90s eight like the 80s or 90s what now they're winners they've been winners since the 80s and i have no clue what the record is but it's just funny for you to go go back to the 80s and 90s the cubs are like famous losers i'm imagining esther i'm imagining esther in like a onesie as a baby and it's a it's a cubs onesie but they've crossed out the Cubs. They're like, we got to let this baby know.

That's true because they played us. They always play us in the National League Championships, the Dodgers. By us, I mean Dodgers. And the year that they beat us, they went on to win the World Series. I don't know why I thought it was your actual family.

I used to see them at their brand. Dude, Chavez Ravine is my family, but they went on to win the World Series, and that was like the first World Series in like what, like 50 years or something? So you're not wrong. They've lost a long time. But Bears at Lions, Esther, what's your final prediction?

Wait, can I just tell you something I remember about sports that I'll never forget? There's this really mean dog on the other side of the fence, and if you hit the ball over the fence, it's really hard to get it. You've got to try to go get it. James Earl Jones is in the house and it turns out the dog is actually really friendly.

I love that movie. Number one, Benny was so hot. What movie is that? Sandlot. You really didn't see that? No, I knew it. I just didn't know the name. But did you not see it?

I did see it. Are you lying? I'm not lying. I don't remember it in detail, but I remember the scary dog and the over the fence. I mean, I feel like in 101 Dalmat in detail but i remember the scary dog and the over the fence you got i mean i feel like in 101 dalmatians you thought it was scary dog too but the kid the hot kid in it okay this is i'm a kid in this talk telling this okay i'm a kid watching the thing

i do remember the feeling my vag got the same when i watched little giants with um devon sawa or casper yeah is his name devon Sawa? Someone, someone, I said Devon Sawa, no, no. I said Devon Sawa and someone corrected me. Can we start getting like our old like crushes

from on the show? I think we can get him on the show. He's really funny. Oh yeah, he's cool. I've seen him at the comedy store. He's friends with Mac. I mean at the improv.

We can get him. Macaulay Culkin, they're always tweeting at each other making funny shit. Oh my God, I remember the night, wait,

when Esther brought Macaulay Culkin to the comedy store, he was in the back and Esther's like, it the night wait when Esther brought Macaulay Culkin to the comedy store he was in the back and Esther's like it's normal for her to see Macaulay Culkin it is not fucking normal for me. I'm trying to act all serious and normal. Formal. And then I was like everything's fine and it's not

this very important person in my life and everything's cool and then I'm sitting down next to him like all stiff and I'm looking I'm looking at the ticket booth and the girl working is arguing with this guy and sending him away

and it's fucking Ben Savage. And I was like, I was like freaking out. And then I ran out. I was like, Ben Savage, don't, she's Canadian.

She doesn't know like who you are. She doesn't know. She's not from here. I'm Winnie. I'm Winnie. My name's Winnie. Look at my big wide face. I'm like Winnie. I'm Winnie. My name's Winnie. Look at my big wide face. I'm like Winnie.

I was related to her head shape. But Mac, he just walked in the Gucci fashion show. Did you guys see that? On Hollywood Boulevard? How sick is that? He would do our show. I don't know why I thought you were going to say on something. Because that just seems like a thing you would do on drugs.

We should have him on. We'll have him on. Yeah, I'll be normal. He's funny too. He's really funny. He was crazy on your special. He was funny. He's really funny.

Devin Sawa. And Devin Sawa. Andrew Keegan has a church, but I had a big old crush on him. Well, yes, he's a kombucha king. He also has very highly concentrated kombucha, which the FBI cracked down on him for. I keep thinking you're going to say something

you're not saying at all. Like when you're like, he has really high, I thought you were going to say high voice. I was like, oh my God, he got a high voice. That's a bummer. No, but Andrew Keegan was a. You know who I was really. I was so obsessed with him. Who I had the hots for was the hot friend on.

Girl. The hot friend on Boy Meets World. Oh, Ryder Strong? I think so. Yeah. With like the mushroom cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was hot. I know that's sad. We got to give like the mushroom cut yeah yeah he was hot

i know that's sad but we gotta give you a mushroom cut you're wearing his outfit you're wearing writer strong was liquid death there available back then do you guys think he's hot too i think he had like i did swag compared to cory jensen married to panga our friend jensen carp married to panga yeah she's so cute anyways, how did we get here from football predictions? Because you have a podcast with Annie Letterman. That's how. Okay? Bears or lions.

And my little name is fun. Okay? You know what's fun? Looking at little boys we used to flick our beans to. Yeah. That's the sport I play. We're all winners in this sport. Who else did you masturbate to?

Did you watch Camp Nowhere? You didn't watch Camp Nowhere? No, what is that? I want to punch you. I want to take you as the football. I want to fucking make sure you're a spiral bitch. Stick my finger right up that ass. I want to throw you across a field.

I think that we should do this. I think for the next episode, because I know you're into vision boards, I think we should make a collage of. I don't know why she's laughing, but I know it's offensive towards me. It's offensive towards me. For sure. What a loser.

Basic bitch. She's like, we know you're into vision boards. It's like saying, I know you like. I know you like crayons. I know you like lattes and puppies. Esther is, she's the, she's a very odd basic. That's what you are. I know you.

You're a weird base. You want to be basic. You always used to say this. You would say that I so desperately want it. I like present as basic. Oh, you're a psycho. But I'm actually not. Something really up with you.

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for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring this podcast. Ladies, Blue Chew is exclusively for men, but the end result is something you will both enjoy. So get your man to sign up. Good for Christmas. Yeah, you're the ultimate American psycho, I that movie was made it was a autobiographical you two are monsters you are insane that's how you know we are that's how you present oh my god annie that's how she fucks she looks at herself in the mirror oh my god she's fucking someone shut up you bitch there's the American psycho

are you ever not sure if it's you or Dave with the hair you're like oh damn I look oh wait that's Dave no do you want to know that something like that one time Dave took a selfie of us no fuck I fucked up the story one time we took a selfie in bed and I was like my arm looks really skinny

and it was fucking Dave's arm. You're like, my penis looks thick though. Oh, wait. Oh my God. Wait, I want to talk about little boys we had crushes on.

Yay! Next episode. Next episode, we bring collage. Because Sosie was huge. To talk to Sosie and be one degree away from Kevin. Because Kevin Bacon,

okay, he was always like a little old for me, but I had a crush on him when I watched kevin bacon i okay he was always like a little old for me but i had a crush on him when i watched friday the 13th and he was like 14 that's why so three and i was 14 three to five cutouts on uh what do you call a cartolina uh what do you call those poster board poster board a cartolina cartolina is like post it's a big paper hard that's so much cuter oh it's turning me on say it again yeah say it again and so we put it in a cartolina right it's four to three to five pictures of our

crushes and then we're gonna manifest we're gonna say on to see who we get on the show we got a ouija board and shit on here yeah i will be honest i've always been the one that pushes it that's fine oh i give people what they want so I'm like, we don't have time. Come on, guys. If we believe in manifestation, then we should have at least two of our boy crushes on the show. Wow, I wonder who it would be, though. Do they have to be crushes from when we were younger,

or can it be someone we wish we could fuck right now? Celebrity. Oh, we already have that. Imagine. Imagine. Leonardo DiCaprio is going to be on there for me like now imagine oh esther what you didn't stand i did love leonardo dicaprio when i saw titanic of course was it because again the head face shape is similar like how i felt with winnie

you do have a look are you really right now telling me I look like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic? It's honestly the best compliment you're going to get. I know. Since TMZ harassed you. Do you remember when we were in Montreal and the people came up? That's an amazing story. You should tell it, but not say the names of who. Please tell it.

We went to Montreal. This was our epic flight where we ran into Jordan Woods. Yeah. Everyone was on our flight. The our pants his pants in front of us we Esther and I have had fun on planes so we get off this flight this van picks us up to go to this festival and picks up like seven comedians seven comedians and there are some on there that we are they stink okay they stink in a lot of ways i wasn't gonna say that part but but they stink it's just like they're not they ain't shit um and they think that you're shit so anyway so with these with these comics and um this like man comes up with a camera and all these like

photos and he's like oh my god will you saw will you autograph these and to yeah to them not yeah and we're like esther and i were like what oh my god like we're like them like this is them they like we're like we were just thinking about how like they're why are they even here yeah what's going on but yet they're so famous that they're getting asked for autographs it was like stopped at the airport we're like what the hell so we were just like we we basically got like our ass handed to us we were like oh okay we're wrong yeah and then the guy came over to us with it we're like okay and he had our headshots it's like we're all nobodies okay good i was like all right this is a nobody's thing this really means nothing okay but it was so funny just our looks across the room to each other like so it is fun to get your ass handed to you but with someone else to be like oh

we're yeah we're we're literal now we're bound so so what is our collective um well it's not collective because i am assuming we have different airport styles but what is our airport style like how you look yeah like what is yeah is you go for comfort you go for glam like what do you i glam if i have a show that night just because i don't have time i like i'm not gonna have time and it is like when you go in with your like clip on you have to go to the girl it's always like the tsa girl's like we know just it's fine oh we get to pat your head down and they're like it's fine i can't imagine traveling like done up that sounds like it makes i don't know like when i feel like when i land the done

up would be gone like i would look ugly what are you doing on these planes i don't know rubbing your face on things how do you sleep on planes are you able to put your feet down and knock back i will say i the the masks are a gift because i used to have to put my eye mask over my mouth I used to have to put my eye mask over my mouth to keep my jaw from falling agape. I look like. What? I look, when I go on a plane, I fall asleep so fast.

I look like my parents have to make a decision whether or not to unplug me. I am like, there's drool. It's so, and it's not, I can't control it. You're Dave. So I have to put. A mask? A sleep apnea mask? I have to put my sleep apnea. Or just put a sweater over your face.

It's my carry-on. That's so annoying. It's like slush lash and you got to empty it out before you go through the thing. Well, it's a medical device. So you actually get that as a free extra carry-on. I used to because. Are you a medical device that gets to carry on? Like, listen, she's an issue.

Just let her on. Well, I'm your support animal. I have a long, very movable neck. So I don't, I cannot sleep just this way. What, also, what? So I have a very floppy neck. I have a big head. What are you saying?

What I'm saying is I have to tie a sweater. Before those, you know, now they have those things that kind of, you can pull this way on the plane seat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before that, I would have to get a sweater, a thin sweater, tie it across my forehead, tie it to the back of the seat and keep my head in place like this. Oh, that sounds genius.

That actually is such a good idea. Yeah, that sounds so fun. But it would cover my whole face so I would look like a psychopath on a plane. It's also really good for skull fucking. So if you guys are looking for a new way to really stay still. Let's try it out, Annie.

Get your dick out. But you know what actually fixes all of this? Fly first class. You gotta get in them laydowns. The thing that pisses me off is when you get a good first class deal, like a good price, and

then you realize it's not a lie down, a lie flat seat, and you're like, well, what the fuck for that? Oh, you have to tell ahead of time. You have to see. But it's still worth it because they're nicer to you. You get on first. It's easier.. But it's still worth it because they're nicer to you. You get on first. It's easier. People don't talk to you the way that they talk to you in coach.

It's true. I thought of you this weekend because I was flying in coach. And it sucked. No, because I bought myself internet, which I normally don't do. I have a membership for the year. I always have it. Monthly. She's a baller.

I'll tell you where we won't be getting Wi-Fi. You want to know what money is for? Money is to make you comfortable while you're doing what you're on this earth to do. And what we're on this earth to do is to entertain and make people feel good and make them laugh. If flying over there is stressful, you're like crowded, you feel unsafe, you feel sneezed on, you feel like the flight attendant's rude, your bag didn't make it on, you're stressed out, you're not here doing what you want to do. So all the money that you make goes into your comfort.

I hate to break it to you guys, but on our flight on Hawaiian Airlines, the five hours over the Pacific does not have Wi-Fi. So we have to entertain each other. Are you fucking serious? I'm also not in first class because I wanted to stay humble. I saw both of your guys' confirmations. You guys have like comfort plus. Yes, why didn't you? You guys have like comfort plus and me and Dave

are in the nosebleed you didn't get comfort plus? no upgrade George did you get comfort wait if George got comfort plus I should just kill myself of course

yeah Kalala got it so I copied her yeah I copied her too I'm not gonna walk back there I will walk back there to say hi to you to give you one of our treats that's what I've done

when I fly my friends fly coach. You go back, you give them something for like, did you want a glass of champagne? I don't drink. They give me free drinks. I fly Hawaiian so much. I know what they're going to serve us on the plane. What do they serve?

It's a chicken bake. It's the same fucking chicken bake. Wait, does everybody get it? Everyone gets it. You'll get the same chicken bake. Maybe a little smaller. Should we bring sugarfish on the plane with us? Oh my God.

We should. Can we fly Sugarfish Airlines? Wait, I want to know what our planned outfits are. I know you're going to be in a dog and you're going to bring. I'm going to bring her. I'm going to get a carrier to bring her for you. Also, side note, Dave might be, Dave who literally got this trip going is now maybe not coming with.

Todd is going to be, is Bobby coming? No. Well, we could get him to go. We need a, we need, Todd cannot just be, he's going to end up working for George. If David isn't coming, I might have to bring my fill in. Carlos? Yeah. You all knew.

That's not what Todd's going to want. To hang out with Carlos? He wants to hang out with someone with a job. Carlos, if Carlos comes, he's going to be at at work he works here now oh poor todd we'll just have to make him film us right behind the scenes he's a boy so dave's not going how are you gonna survive no you mean how are you gonna survive because now you're scared that i'm gonna cling to you you fucking bitch you mean bitch now i get to be your handler? No, I'm going to have to fucking get Carlos to come. Okay, yeah.

Carlos. Look at you. You really don't want to take care of me on the trip. Oh. You know who's going to end up taking care of you? Mama and Papa, okay, are going to take care of you. Don't worry, yeah. And Daddy will be skull fucking Mommy just the way he does at home.

I'm going to have Todd skull fuck me tonight. I'm going to try to fuck, you know how it's No Nut November? I'm going to try to fuck every day this week. Oh, wait. We need our own version

of No Nut November. Like all nut something. I don't know. What is it? Mixed nuts. Three swingers. I think we should do a More Nut November.

More Nut November. If you usually masturbate twice a week, now you're going to masturbate four times a week. We have to make it December because this is the end of November. I know what... Dick's all December. Yeah. Dick what?

Dick's all December. Dick's all December, but we're going to come hard November. But also if you're lesbos, you are in too. I want you squirting, okay? This is squirt December. No, or if you... No, not November. It should have been like if you hook up with a guy, he makes you come, but you don't make him come.

Oh, I had a whole take back in the summer. Do you remember that? Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, yes. Oh, I had a whole summer where I was like, you can come eat me out. Don't touch me other than that. I love that.

Leave. We're not. And they always think I'm going to do something. Always. I go, no, no, no. I told you I had a time. Because I can't tell you how many guys I begged me to hook up with them in this damn comedy scene. Finally, they'd break me down.

They'd make me think they really liked me. You fuck them once. They don't make you cum. And then they're like, we should just be friends. I'm like, that's literally what I said the whole time. So all that happened is you used my body. I'm a sock. You fucked me to cum.

And now you just know that. And now this just exists for no reason. So then I had a summer where I was like, all right, when they'd hit me up again, I'm like, come over. I have a question about that though. Because while I have done that, where I'm like, can you just eat me out

and just leave? They usually ask if they can jerk off around me. Around you? Around some sort of- Yeah, in the proximity. And I usually allow it. Would you allow it on to them to jay on you i yeah i'm not afraid to come i like being like nutted on but if we all do i mean i think we do i might have some flakes on my which is weird because this morning it was my most

traumatic experience as a child i took back the night of that too i've reclaimed getting nutted on so we've in this show we've learned that we've reclaimed skull fucking skull fucking is not for them it's for us this is by the way this is what happens when you start the show by saying we have to talk about soup there's gonna you guys are gonna have to take some parts from the in between where we're like no you should george should hire three like lookalikes to sit in the chair the first 10 minutes. Two. Three toddlers. Three toddlers. Give me my banana, George.

It's time. I did a cold plunge and a sauna. It was so awesome. Did you record it? I did. Yeah, I did. It's embarrassing.

Where did you do it? At my friend's friend's house. But I did three minutes. Todd did it with me. Three minutes is long. I felt really like, I just like to Lacey, I was like, I trust you. I was like in it. Like, I was like, I trust you.

We should do Iowa together. You would be good at that. It's a good double dog dare. Yes. Did you get benefits? Like, how did you, how did it, what did it do to you? Well, it helped me. Like, I honestly like headspace wise, it really helped me because it's so shockingly cold and your body starts like

kind of convulsed like it's you feel you go through a bunch of stages I didn't go through as many stages as she said you could go through but it can be really really painful and I just remember feeling like because I've been in like a situation where I've been a little bit like trying to get out of fear in a situation and it was helping me with that because I was like I was told that this was going to happen. I was told this is going to be okay. So I have to trust that this is like, okay.

And I like got through it and made me feel good about. Gave you confidence. Yeah. It made me feel like less scared, I guess. And then, um, we did the sauna after it felt great.

Did you have like a, like, did you notice a difference in like the way your body has pain like did you I didn't hurt but Todd was still like really in pain but he hasn't worked out

at all so when she worked him out it was like and she told me that Todd could have like a perfect body she's like he has like the perfect

workout body of course he does I could I fucking could have told you that he's so cute I love him one time at Pismo Beach

I guess this is where Alfred Hitchcock got his inspiration for the movie. The Birds? Oh, I thought it was Esther. He saw her. TMZ came up and was like, are you the girl from The Birds? Can I just say that is the best thing you've ever said to me? I love Alfred Hitchcock.

I love The Birds. Thank you so much. You just swarm around people's heads, annoying them. They're scared of you. You ruin their day. There's a swarm of birds there and that was the closest i ever got to hypothermia um i was surfing by surfing i mean i'm going straight no left right beginner shit right and um i wasn't wearing a wetsuit and my body started to kind of give out on me and i buried myself under sand watching alfred hitchcock's

birds trying to like was anyone with saw myself yeah he was the narcissistic boyfriend who probably went out and got a burrito for himself i was like dying he did left right out of that situation yeah but i remember just burying myself there and thinking like this is how i die watching these birds the idea that you knew to bury yourself is so amazing because in the hot sand that was the only thing i knew what to do i was like they go back in the water i go would you go back in i love the feeling of being buried in the sand oh don't say that around wait why you're gonna get buried in the game really when i was little we my parents when i was like we know and then they left you they make eight hours later

have you not seen the videos of people trying to rescue people buried in the sand wait no what happens to them too heavy it could be

catastrophic very quickly really yeah and you could actually die I'll give you a penis though we'll bury you and I'll build you a penis we just need to drop you

down there with a rope so you can sort of like pull yourself up but we're gonna bury you deep well you do kind of remind me you remind me of the girl from the ring oh yeah samara i have a niece named samara that's a pretty name yeah samara is her name my best friend in high school was named samara one of my best friends um we saw that movie together yeah i was so scared i remember looking at her and be like get away from me um okay so I was I was talking to Todd I was like I want to get lasered but I want to leave like a little hair and I was like I want to leave like a Dorito and Todd's like isn't that what

isn't that um what lesbians get the what the Dorito and I was like todd does like lesbo porn so i was like maybe that's you know he knows more than me um i saw a tweet by my friend asa akira yesterday and it was um her hand over her like vagina over her lips but she had a full bush and i was like oh my god that's so hot wait really i had full bush envy but was it was it sigh like the lips had the picture? I don't want I just I wouldn't mind like just the market of it all. Really? Just the top part a little bit. Yeah, I guess that I feel like that's what most guys actually are drawn.

I don't want to look like, you know, in Dogma. Oh, you like. So that's like just like a little bit of a light. It looks like a light shaving on the bottom parts. Yeah, that's good. I feel like that's what guys are into. I think so too. I think who cares what guys are into.

It's kind of like what I like. No, of course. Totally. But I don't mean like Esther. We don't think that you're worried about the male gaze. Don't worry. Maybe the gaze, but not the male gaze. Don't worry, Esther. You don't have maybe the gays but not the male gays don't worry esther you don't have to defend yourself we know you just didn't mean what you said um esther you sent me a text um today and you're like what are your thoughts on the metaverse and i didn't really know how to respond to the

metaverse esther care to explain i don't know and I'm sure this is just a boring topic but haven't you guys been starting to hear a lot about the metaverse it's basically this idea that it's like an iteration of the internet that's 3d so we have virtual reality we have these things right you're living you're living 3d in the internet kind of like it's like a 3d world around you sims yeah but really a lot more technologies oh right todd was saying that he feels like our apartment seems like an apartment we would have made in the sims oh that's cool like everything that we get but i want to get a putting green i want to make it so fun i got randy uh um a dog bed that is the shape of a

philly's hat it's so cute would. Would Dave allow you to do a VR, like second life relationships? Whoa. That's weird. That's a weird type of cheating. Like you're choosing, but also can a real person compete with- A VR person?

A VR person. I am so into this. Is he in the metaverse right now? He's in the metaverse, yeah. I'm into this because while all of you nerds are doing this, I'm going to be making real money, building a real empire. I do wonder, the metaverse i'm into this because while all of you nerds are doing this i'm gonna be making real money building a real empire i do wonder the metaverse freaks me out because it's like i'm not interested but then i also don't want to get left behind this is the

guy i saw i i saw mark zuckerberg on in kawaii when i was there and he had his head covered in like this giant like hat that goes like like a beekeepers thing and he was in his little zodiac and everyone knows who he is but i don't want to point out that his wife is asian and that is what the asian women wear on the outfit they wear those yeah yeah yeah it's for sun protection you're right i here's i have a thought on the metaverse i feel like everyone has been planning for this metaverse like all the you know gatekeepers the billionaires whatever but don't you feel like post-covid the metaverse is the exact opposite of what i want like i have been sitting at home and living

on my phone and now i want to go out and experience real life but this this could mimic real life for a lot of people in fact like people fall in love in second life. How do you know? You are meeting other people. Because she watched the movie Her, okay? No, I just watched that one Black Mirror episode where they fall in love. Oh, I love that one. But I was thinking, are we, if offered,

if offered. Missed your opportunity. I was listening to another person for once. If they offer us to exist in the metaverse, our likeness and everything, do we agree or do we not? It almost feels like we're going to get left behind if we don't. George, you're supposed to be on the top of this shit.

You watched it. George, you wear glasses. You're supposed to be on the top of this. George, you're dressed as a carrot. George, you have kind of a nerd's voice. It seems like you can read i think it's huge i think it's the future i don't like it uh here's the thing i here's what i am very this is how i feel i want to go i want my life to be flow and not resistance i don't want to

look at this and go this is gonna be the worst thing that ever happened right it's gonna ruin everything because it's fucking awesome. It's amazing. It's incredible that technology has come and it's helped us with so much like medical stuff. Like every new technology has been great. And everyone can talk shit on the internet and talk shit on social media and stuff. But it's made our lives more convenient. It's awesome. It's entertaining. It's everything.

So this I don't think is – I can't say that this is like a horrible thing. I do understand where it seems dangerous. And it's like, I watched Westworld. I get it. The robots could take over. We're, we're not having real experiences.

We're not going out. Maybe it's not the healthiest thing, but it is what's happening. And maybe there is some good there too. There's definitely some good. Yeah. I accept it all. It looks so awesome.

It does look awesome. Looks like he's in mist wait okay if esther you and i saw each other in the metaverse and we locked eyes across the room right and we have a relationship there do you think that they would be okay with your second life but are you both there doing it like no no no we're in separate homes but we're seeing each other in the metaverse and we're scissoring the fuck out of each other how would that get what would that get me we're not doing it i feel like esther would be virtually giving herself a penis by the way i don't think it would be scissoring as true as a big old cock that's

the thing you i i don't know this is a weird thing because i'm like what are things even like this is questioning making me question so much because i'm like oh i would rather like have the have the couch in my house and not in the metaverse but then i'm like what does the couch in my house even mean like i don't know maybe we already are in the metaverse high potential to be a shut-in though never leave the house if you love you know your metaverse life well you get to really see like are you getting healthy for yourself or other people does bobby isn't there like metaverses already in the video games yeah does he like what does he say about that he was into it for a little bit and then i don't know he kind of i don't know you know what sucks too if you get motion sickness

vr is like a no-go so like anyone that gets car sick which it's you have to get cars like i don't get cars like your whole everything you are is a liar your brand is you're a liar i just tear the shirt off burn it um but it's like so then are all these people would be having like this great time and then there's these other people but i don't think anything is ever gonna miss is is gonna ever replace real human touch and interaction i just don't think yeah how could it right galila i also realized that like my love language is definite physical touch yeah it's my number one i need it so much i like it a lot yeah yeah i like it too i think words of affirmation i like more though oh really i couldn't give two shit because i don't words are so cheap to me but i think i might be

growing out of that though because i do i'm the more confident i get the more i don't like need external validation yeah so then i guess it would be touch but then i'm like don't also don't touch me yeah i don't know any ideas quality time too quality time is good and physical touch acts of service ain't bad what being done to you or given to can you imagine tapes for acts of service ain't bad. Ain't too bad. What being done to or given to. Can you imagine Dave's for acts of service? What do you think Dave's love language is? Well, I should know. I've been with him for nine years.

I think it's physical touch. Physical touch, yeah. And mine for the first few years, mine was gifts. But now I make my own money and it's no longer gifts. It's just so funny. You go into one of the closets in Esther's house and it's all these empty Tiffany boxes no Dave can you imagine if you just got the hackiest gift I love David he is a terrible gift giver what has he gotten you tell us the worst top three worst Dave gifts I'm gonna get in so much trouble because literally

then you'll tell some good ones every there are none no I love you David love you love you but we all love Dave. Our first Valentine's Day, and we had already been together for like seven months, and we were very like, we're a thing. He got me a mug. What did it say? It didn't say anything. What?

Was it just, it was like pretty? It was just a green mug. And I was like, am I your co-worker what is going on is this a secret santa co-worker no in his defense which he did have a really cute defense he said like you had been making tea recently and it had like a little tea steeper but still it really did oh my god there was a tea steeper on it you bitch it was probably like a $300 mug wow that's like such a

thoughtful gift you are a bitch you said it was a green mug yes George I thought it was just a mug wait can I just say what did you get for a day a headache

headache headache for his whole life life a lingering headache every day oh I used to do a bit about this

men don't need gifts that is kind about this. Men don't need gifts. That is kind of true. And they don't need birthdays either. That is kind of true. Honestly, can I just say that I, like, just to the audience, helpful men, that's literally all, that's all I crave and need in the world.

Just helpful boys. Just be a helpful boy. It's hot. Just be helpful. It's like, and if you strike out in your 20s, they're going to like it in the world just helpful boys just be a helpful boy it's hot just be helpful it's like and if you strike out in your 20s in your 30s they're gonna like it in the 30s yeah well i i think that that might still be a little sweeter than bobby's first gifts okay he got me i don't even think he looked at what he got me honestly i think he went through um he went through vaughn's went through the gift card aisle that's good and just grabbed i think he just did this to his hand and took the first he didn't

give you the pickle he got me i have verizon and he gave me a t-mobile gift card right and he got me did he say did he say here call someone who cares this is how he did it annie he got me and like one other thing it was like fud ruckers or something like places i don't go but was it to Did he say, here, call someone who cares? No, this is how we did it, Annie. He got me Applebee's. Esther's proposing to you. And like one other thing, it was like Fuddruckers or something. Like places I don't go. But was it to be funny? No, he wasn't. T-Mobile!

Yeah, I was like, I have Verizon. This isn't going to work for me. And then he did this from across the table. Also, a phone card is like, are we in a foreign country? Are we in fucking Mexico? This is eight years ago. But he did this. he just slid it one by one across the table he's like hope you like these these are great this is great it was a bit no it was a bet i think my gifts are far more romantic our first christmas together was think about this think about bobby okay bobby's like look i'm just a fucking comedian i only have a specific set of

skills okay there's things i'm never gonna know how to do and probably gift giving is not one of them or knowing what a woman wants well that's true for for our first Christmas together because our thing was the show that we bonded over was my 600 pound life yeah I remember you said that show was too corny and like so TLC shows like like. All the butter. And it's, like, we love, like, Dr. Now. Dr. Now is our hero. He does all of the bariatric surgeries for these patients. And we really get, like, we follow the lives.

Like, Bobby follows, like, nine out of the ten, like, the tenth passed away. There are some that pass away after bariatric surgery, RIP. But, like, he follows their journey. Like, it really means a lot to us. Does he unfollow them after that pass away after bariatric surgery r.i.p but like he follows their journey like it really means a lot to us after they pass away oh what is the rule about that what do you unfollow after someone passes away is there a rule i don't it's hard to do because mingus the panther passed away like last year and i don't know the animal unfollow it was a black cat with a little with. Oh, yeah. I would say keep following in case their mommy gets a new baby. I know.

Pumpkin the raccoon, RIP. That was a big heartbreak for me. If you sneeze around me and I even suspect you're said to unfollow, I want to get ahead of this one. But I got him. I printed out not pictures of myself for Christmas, but pictures of the contestants and I made like a collage for him of our favorite not contestants I should call them contestants are my our favorite cast members of the show and a framed picture of Dr. Now

and yeah for Christmas and he keeps he still has it in his car he just shoves it in the glove compartment why is it in the car that's what I'm really wondering I have pictures in the car too what because you want them with you and then you don't ever clean your car

it's like a wallet back in the day when you'd like here are my kids I've given some great gifts too and I think I think that's the thing we can't compare ourselves

to what like we can't expect from them what we can give to them we're thoughtful oh speak to Bobby because he fully expects $3,000 jackets from me every year.

He does. Todd got me flamethrowers. I have fucking, Todd is such a good gift giver. Flamethrowers and he got me a Wicom pad or Wacom pad, like something you can draw on, which I haven't used and he thinks, he talks about it. He goes, oh, you're not going to use, And I go, Todd, it's like, you know, you could have bought yourself another pair of Yeezys instead of this. I will use it eventually, but I can't be pressured in using the gift.

You know what? I've always done a no gift. Like for the last like six years, it's like no gift policy. I don't want a gift because I always – like I get – my parents were just saying this. Like you, Esther, you cannot hide it when you don't like the gift. Yeah, I don't have Christmas face. I can't pretend I like a – Oh, you that's interesting you have it so also I think it's called being rude and a bad actor honestly as an actress this is really bad news for you

no don't worry I'm just rude for me it's just I'm rude um I think we should do a holiday gift and really try to do good gifts and like give it a spending limit that's kind of high okay and like actually try to get each other good gifts okay we got a competition yeah so we should what do you what's a good like high but not crazy it's just weird because she already got a tattoo so it's like well that's not even a real gift you're really downplaying maybe the most epic most romantic gesture of all times i was like should we each it was like the notebook in one gesture you died together of alzheimer's should we have to do like a 500 gift for each person this is no offense to you guys but i do not want to get you guys 500 gifts i want was going to up the price. Wait, that's hilarious. Why?

I mean, I love you guys, but that could go to you know... What? Getting the dog's thing removed? The tumor removed from his neck. No offense to the dog, but if I don't get a $500

present from Kalilah, that thing's getting popped. George, what's your solution here? Everyone gets an air fryer from me and that's it. I already have one. Oh, damn it. How about this? We'll do it.

Oh, I would be down? But we get it taken out of her portion of the pay from George. She ends up paying for it. Look, I don't think it should be $500. What do you think it should be 500 i think that it should be if we really are friends and know each other it should be something that's personalized for the person that you know the person really likes it shouldn't be a price tag see but that's what gift giving is it shouldn't be like something expensive it should be something that means

something i gave can i tell you the best i really like knowing a price limit though because that gives me like the creative like freedom within that what what i think don't go over 500 but don't be mad if kalilah like glued some cheerios together for you you know what i mean i will be mad so i can't do that game i'm down with that game but kalilah's i guess she has a broke mindset and she's gonna need to do some virtual reality soon to manifest you know what we could do

is we could get each other a gift and then Kalilah has to look and gets nothing we both maybe we have to pick like a cause that we donate to

for Kalilah are you fucking kidding me I'd rather buy the bitch a star one of those things they're like I'm not just a star I'd rather buy

the bitch a star did you ever did any of your boyfriends do that? when people buy you chickens they go we bought you these chicks in this country what are you talking about me chicks and they just send you a picture of any chick I'm like is that my chick?

bring them here fly them out I have a really bad Christmas face for when people tell me that they bought their girlfriend stars and I'm like it's just like if you get me a fucking ticket to go up and see it i'll be cool which star if you can point it out if you can point it out is this a ticket to a fucking rocket ship or no no no actually if you're gonna buy me i want

the milky way buy me the milky way okay i wonder how many people have the same star too do you think they're just it's gotta be a racket oh yeah it's a racket for sure alright so I got okay I watched with my ex-boyfriend from

years and years ago Curtis we watched this documentary that my friend Sean Donnelly made called Are We Alone

Are We Alone Now and it's about Tiffany had two stalkers and one of the stalkers got in trouble. I think We're Alone Now. Yeah, I think We're Alone Now. Oh, yeah. You said We're Alone or something.

I don't know. Okay, I think We're Alone Now, yeah. We're Alone Now. So he, okay, so one of the stalkers got in trouble because he brought her like a samurai, a katana, I think, and 10 white carnations. It was something along those lines. And it was like it's the highest honor of a – there was some like reason behind it. It was like an honor to bring it to her.

But he got in trouble because it was, you know, obviously a weapon. So I had watched that with my boyfriend. And then for Christmas I got him the sword and the flowers. And he was like, dang. You know, and I was like – I think he actually liked it. He might have liked it. But then I also – we had like a little bit when we had first started dating, there was like this, we had started dating over Halloween and there was this like candy ear and we just

kept putting in each other's things. So like we would leave and you'd open your bag and you'd have like the ear. Oh, that's cute. So I got him a box. I found the candy that I got him like a box filled with them. So he opened it and all the ears fell out. Did he appreciate it? Yeah. I mean, we broke up, but. I think we should close he's actually my friend i think we're alone children behave that's what they say when we're together

and watch how they play i got excited isn't this gonna get us demonetized even more than talking about jizz on my forearm they don't understand i don't remember oh i wasn't listening you thought that was a good part that i was listening to i was like i might have some flakes oh my god you guys thank you so much you should put that in the beginning thank you so much for tuning in we got the sign from george it's time to wrap it up the white man keeping the women down keeping us from our audience imagine if he goes home and skull fucks his wife and she just like well they have a kid there's only option of skull fucking

no he plays her this episode you guys yes no this is for empowerment it's Thanksgiving this is our Thanksgiving episode we should say what we're grateful for when we go we should have planned that before we wrapped it up. No, before we did the, what sports teams do you dum-dums like that know nothing about sports?

George is done, dude. You know what? Tune in next time to hear about how our Thanksgivings went, and we'll tell you what we're grateful for. Also, you better be in Philly seeing me this week right now. We love you guys. Love you. That's all. this week right now. We love you guys. Love you. That's all. Bye.

For now.