Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Witchy Business w/ Special Guest Caroline Rhea - Ep 139

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

This week the girls are joined by the hilarious and talented Caroline Rhea. They discuss Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Marc Maron's Flirting Technique, Toxic traits in men that we Secretly Like and The Golden Bachelor. Thank you to our Sponsors: Betterhelp - Get a break from your thoughts with Betterhelp. Visit betterhelp.com/trashtuesday today to get 10% off your first month. Rocketmoney - Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions - and manage your money the easy way - by going to rocketmoney.com/trashtuesday FINALLY! Trash Tuesday Merch!! Get it at https://itstrashtuesday.com/ See Esther on tour. Check out dates at estheronice.com See Annie on tour. Check out dates at https://www.annielederman.com/shows   More Caroline Rhea: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/carolinerhea4real/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/CarolineRhea Tour dates! - https://carolinerhea.com/  0:00 - Caroline Rhea: Grand Marshall 8:10 - Almost passing on Sabrina the Teenage Witch 11:45 - Caroline's Iconic auditions 13:35 - The line to the feet runs close to the genitals 16:05 - How Khalyla got her name 19:40 - Namedrop vs. Lamedrop 21:55 - Marc Maron’s negging is kinda hot 24:00 - Caroline’s emergency C-section 33:06 - Breakup diet: do you overeat or undereat? 34:40 - Boiled chicken boy 36:55 - What level of halloween celebration is allowed? 40:45 - Khalyla's Near-death shark encounter 47:30 - HIPPA vs. herpes 57:35 - MSG drunk 59:00 - Yelling at an old man that you love is really fun 01:04:40 - The Golden Bachelor 01:07:08 - Love is...balls? 01:10:35 - Toxic traits that are hot   Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8X Trash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday     Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Rick and Esther Have a Time - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rick-and-esther-have-a-time/id1694264079 AnnieWood - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/anniewood/id1653515392   Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Theme Song Written by: Bobby Lee http://instagram.com/bobbyleelive Banana Break Song by: Can Nguyen  🍬  https://www.candyedits.com Visuals and Graphics by: Andre Strauss https://andre-strauss.info   Produced by: Real Good Touring & Ten42 Podcast Producer(s): Stella Young & Julien Bensimhon   This Video Contains Paid Advertising

After years of fine print contracts and getting ripped off by overpriced wireless providers, if we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So when I heard that for a limited time all Mint Mobile wireless plans are $15 a month when you purchase a three-month plan, I thought, where's the catch? But after talking to them, it all made sense. There isn't one. Mint Mobile's secret sauce is that they sell wireless services online. They don't have retail stores or salespeople. Instead, they deliver premium phone plans directly to you. As you guys know, our friend Rick Glassman, he uses Mint Mobile. I learned about Mint Mobile through George Kimmel.

George is a busy guy. He takes the most business calls. And the fact that not a single call is ever dropped. And you can use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Say goodbye to your overpriced wireless plans. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with plans starting at $15 a month. And all plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. That is such a steal. To get this new customer

offer and your new three-month unlimited wireless plan for just $15 a month, go to mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. That's mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com slash Tuesday. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 a month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes. On unlimited plan, additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile for details. I literally just had like a dermabrasion facial i'm like oh i timed this well you look and now

camera with children fantastic children shot at eye level my favorite thing ever i like an aerial crane shot. You guys, I have really big shows this weekend. This Thursday night, I'm going to be in Detroit at the Majestic Theater. And then Friday, Saturday, Chicago. I'm going to eat so much pizza and hot dogs and like drink a pumpkin cream cold brew. I cannot wait to be in the fall Midwest weather. Pick apples. You can see me this weekend at the Den Theater. And then in a couple weeks, November 2nd, I will be in San Jose, November 4th, Boston, November 5th, Washington,

D.C. And then Irvine shortly after. You can get tickets to all these dates at EstherOnIce.com. I cannot wait to see you for spooky time. Hello, my little sluggy witches. Welcome to our witch episode. I am so excited to announce I am still on the road. You can come see me in San Jose on November 17th and 18th at the Improv. And you can see me in Houston, Texas at the Improv, December 15th and 16th. I have a lot more dates being added. So go to annieletterman..com, Annie Letterman.com slash shows to see them. And you can see me on Annie Wood every Thursday. And yeah, I'm just really excited to come to the meet and greets. I like signing your boobs and your boy boobs. So can't wait to see you there. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Make your brain your friend with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash Trash Tuesday. We love BetterHelp. Thank you to our sponsor, Rocket Money. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Rocketmoney.com

slash trash Tuesday. I, okay, we have Caroline right here. I. Welcome. Welcome. This is our witch episode and she's our resident witch. I feel like I broke into like the dressing room at the Playboy Mansion. That is the best. Can I have the bath?

And then you are. She actually works there. She shows you where the bathroom is. That's very mean, your Puritan outfit, considering we're witches. Well, that was supposed to be mine. And then we switched. And this was supposed to be hers. And she asked to switch.

So this is why I'm in this. Wait, so you have to give an excuse why you look hot? You're like, I was doing Esther a favor. We're trying to dumb her down a little, this body down a little bit. Because I approved that one so fast. You're like, Kalilah, are you OK with this one? I'm like, yes, 100%. Easy.

I need to know about the source of your name. I was the grand marshal in Salem for one of their pride parades for Halloween, and it was literally scary. As a witch, I was like, this is very unwelcoming every place. Was Salem cool, though? Do we all have to go?

You do. You should go. All I remember is they had this midnight bakery that showed up. And so I based whether or not to return somewhere. Yes. The quality of their bakery. I can't say the same. Also, the quicksand couch, I'm buying you guys a couch.

No, really. My ass is actually on the rug. I'll hoist your ass up. Don't worry. I've been waiting years to hoist you up. I want to flatter you so hard. I love you so much. I've loved you forever.

Obviously from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Watched it every day after school. But also when you replaced Rosie O'Donnell, bitch. What? I watched you every day. It was like my favorite to be homesick and watch you on TV. That is such a strange compliment. It's so good.

It's actually the first time. I had Munchausen disease. Just so I could watch your show. I did. That's so nice. Yeah, that was fun. It was fun and horrible all at the same time. Horrible?

It was fun and horrible. Well, it's hard, right? It's a lot of stress. Well, David Letterman was the only person who was honest with me. He goes, you're never going to be as tired in your entire life as you are, you know, getting up at like 5.30 in the morning. We were like live in like Grand Rapids. Everyone else, we were on like 2 in the morning.

I always wanted to say, good morning, Grand Rapids. That's the only place we're coming to you live. It was cool. Okay, but what was it like to be on literally like a humongous sitcom, like when sitcoms were humongous, like Sabrina the Teenage Witch? In the moment when you're on that show, are you like, I have it all? Or were you like, this is stressful? Have we not spent enough time together?

Have I ever been in my life, I have it going on. The only time that I really thought, like, this sounds really, like, I lived right down the street from Paramount. So at lunch during the days of Sabrina, I would go home and swim laps in my pool. And I was like, this is the greatest thing in the entire universe. Yes, that I felt very grateful for. And you were a wedge so you could have green hair. So that works.

But we had no, exactly. We had no idea while we were filming it what it was because it was, we never watched it. I didn't watch it until my daughter turned seven. And then I called Melissa and I was like, you were so good. It really works. I get it now. But we were just constantly filming. And then when I wasn't filming, I was on the road.

So I was just, we weren't aware of it. And then when it aired, I'll'll never forget I was walking down the street in New York it was it aired the anniversary was like last week when it aired 20 billion years ago

and this group of like 20 kids just sort of following me and like screaming and running after me and I was like I'm gonna be mugged by children and I don't know what to do

I am frightened and then they were like oh my god we love the show so we had no we didn't really get it I get it now because of how long it's been on and that it's been on the air every day since like 2000. How do you feel about the new Sabrina? Well, I tried to watch it and it scared the crap out of me. Same. It's too scary.

Once that dream sleep person was the sleep person, nightmare person. So, and I love all those people. And they, and then they, we an episode. And I love Lucy Davis. She plays Aunt Hilda and I always call her 2.0. And she's always like, what does that mean? Was there another Aunt Hilda? So, um, it was a weird thing. How many seasons did you guys do? Um,

I did 144 episodes. Oh my god. I did six seasons and then I left to do the talk show. Oh yeah. Now when you were like I did six seasons, and then I left to do the talk show. Oh, yeah. Now, when you were, like, up for that role, were you like, I really want this. This will change my life. Or was it just like a normal, this is your job to audition? You will understand this, ladies. I was such a bratty stand-up comedian. Yeah.

I was like, nothing's going to stop me from doing the road. Uh-huh. Yep. No, I was really like, but I always, always in my career, I've always thought like first and foremost, true love, stand up. But I also do love acting and I like hosting and I like

there's a lot of things that I have to do to feel like creatively fulfilled. I forgot the purses I made you. Okay, sorry. I could not sound more like your great grandma. Well, we have to have you back. We're going to have you back because we have your great grandma. I made you a purse, sorry. I could not sound more like your great-grandmother. Well, we have to have you back. We're going to have you back because we have your great-grandmother. That was great-grandma. I made you a person. I can't believe I forgot it. It's filled with

candies. Warther original. Hard candies like you like. I had been with this guy who was like really, truly a horrible person. He was horrible and he had a bad smell. I don't know why I was ever with him. And anyway,

we had gone to Hawaii and we had broken up and Nell Scavell, who created the show, called me and said, Caroline, your manager's passed on this six weeks ago, but we're casting it Wednesday. Will you please reconsider? And I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about.

They passed on your behalf without telling you? Why? Yeah, they never told me. They passed. They passed on your behalf without telling you? Why? They never told me. They were like, oh no, she'll never do that. I had done a pilot that didn't go, but anyway, they passed on it. And then they said, I said, well, what's the character

like? And I wanted to be Zelda. I was like, oh no, I want to be the scientist. And they were like, no. You're not going to be the scientist. You can't be the smart one. I was like, I can to be the scientist. Yeah. And they were like, no. You're not going to be the scientist. We could have been pretenders. You can't be the smart one. I was like, I'm going to be the smart one. No.

You're going to be the fun one. The story of my entire life. And then she said, anyway, this guy broke up with me. Isn't it weird when the scumbags break up with you? And also, what kind of smell? The bad smell. Like BO or something else. Okay,

thanks for the trigger. And, like, in a scratch and sniff, it would be poison. It's just, and he had big, hairy shoulders.

We called them the epaulets of fur, and he was the captain of the bear army. Those are all the lovely things. Anyway, it was gross. Anyway,

he's probably your number one fan on your podcast. Anyway, so she said to me, I go, well, tell me about this character. And she said, well, you imprison a man in your ring for not loving you. And I literally said, okay, I'll do it. Yeah, that's great. I thought it was real. And that was the only reason I needed.

And then I went out to Los Angeles and I tested and tested and tested. And then they were like, they're going to send you to network today. And then I just got one of those weird feelings. And I was like, I'm sorry, I don't want to do this. And I was at the network and I left and they were so mad at me and I didn't have the part yet. So I went home and I was like, I just don't feel it. And then my mother was like, what is wrong with you? And I'm like, it could be seven years, mommy. I mean, I think about it now and I'm like, what an idiot. But that's common and scary because when you do test for a show,

they make you sign a contract even before. For the rest of your life. And you're like, wait, seven years, I'm like legally bound. There is something like intimidating about that. So I get it. Yeah. I'm like legally bound. There is something like intimidating about that.

So I get it. Yeah. And I just thought, like I just had always identified as a comedian. And then so I went home back to New York and they were so mad at me. And then on Wednesday they called me and said, you have the part. You can have it. It's yours. You don't even have to test.

I love it. But you have to go back and read with the sister. Will you do that? And I was like, I'll think about it. Do they offer you more money too? You know what? I'm telling you, if I can give you any advice. Say no. Any advice.

Say no as often as you possibly can. Yeah, say no. Say no and no. And then you're like, the sound of the truck backing up money is deafening. Beep, beep. I can't deafening. Beep, beep. I can't hear you. Beep. Yeah.

Was that your first big TV role? That was the first one that really went. No, I did so many pilots. I did a pilot called Pride and Joy. And it went on at the same time as Friends. And we had like giant numbers. I played Jeremy Piven's wife and Craig Bierko and Julie Warner.

We were neighbors in New York City on the Upper West Side where I lived. And I had a six-month-old and a 12-year-old and they had a six-month-old. And yeah, it was only six episodes. So you could have just been like Ross and Rachel with Jeremy Piven? I went in and I read for Jennifer Aniston

when they didn't have her. Oh, really? Yeah, because they didn't have her because she was on another show. Did you show your nipples? I think her nipples got her cast. Oh, look at that. You know what?

Looking back, I did not. Wow. Really? This is what we're going to do? Torture me? Okay, wow. Look how funny you are already. Look at that.

Look at Piv before the hair implants. I know. He has a lot more hair now, which is weird. I love these guys. His hair grows and grows. Any other iconic things that you auditioned for?

I had so many auditions for... What's the Tom Cruise movie with... Oh, yeah. Sports Agent. Yeah. Oh, Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire. I probably went in for that five times.

Oh, my God. You would have been so good in that. To be in the divorce group. I wanted to be Bonnie Hunt. But, you know, Bonnie Hunt wanted to be Renee Zellweger. I want you to be Renee Zellweger. Yeah. And then Renee Zellweger got that part, and then they gave Bonnie that part, and then

I went in for that. I want you to complete Tom Cruise. I was so, you know what's so funny? Okay. Have you met him? This actually, I've never met him. Okay. Short?

Yeah. Very short. How small? But so charismatic but shockingly short. Of course, yeah. But shockingly short. Now, okay,

so during this era, I was watching Rosie O'Donnell's show and then your show. you have to take these pictures together. Yeah, don't make her look at herself.

No, really, I, oh God. I like that little Shirley Temple black and white headshot. That was cute. That was so cute. Don't bring it back up, but let's just feel it. the fact that my headshot is black and white headshot. That was cute. That was so cute. Don't bring it back up.

The fact that my headshot is black and white. Is that not enough? And then we all have one. I have one from John Robert Powers. Before that, it's like a court sketch. Look how cute that is. Wait, both of you did John Robert Powers? No, I didn't.

But I have a fourth grade headshot where it's black and white. And I really needed braces. Are you a child actor? For like a year in Chicago only, though. like commercials. And I was a hand model in the American Girl catalog. Oh my God. Look at your tiny little hands. Do you know what's so funny? We had this big thing in Canada that was like, literally it looked like a phone book. And then like late eighties of actors and you would go and it was their picture and then all their little, you know, resume right there. And there were these two twins

and you just saw their hands and it just said specialties, hand jobs. And we thought that was hilarious. Oh my God. I hope it wasn't real. You never know. Never know in this biz. You never know.

Oh my God. If men have foot fetishes, why don't they have hand fetishes? They probably do. I don't think they do. I don't think that's a category. Well, because feet are hidden away and hands are just, that's like not as taboo. Okay, from the research I've done, which is very minimal, and I've never read a full article in my entire life,

and the last book I read, the tree was just a stump at the end. The boy had turned into an old man. But from what I gathered is the foot fetish is the line from the brain to the genitals is near the feet, the line to the feet, and it kind of gets swapped. What line is this? The like neuropathway. I love the 10 minute caveat you have to give before you present a fact. Guys, I do not quote me on this, okay? I've never even had the attention span to read a quote, but do not quote me on this. That's why I have this joke.

I said I was reading this incredible book. Well, it was not a book. It was an Instagram post. I read all three slides. So it's very well, two of the three, I think. I don't know. I know you get too proud. That's the problem.

I get too proud of myself when I read one line. I'm like, yay. And then I go get ice cream. And then I can't do any kind of meditation tapes either because the minute a man tells me what to do, I fall asleep. I'm like, breathe in. Are you not? I have a really creepy man voice too that I do.

I do Joe Dispenza when he's like, in space. And he says it really, his voice like vibrates. You find his voice kind of like. It's upsetting. I feel like we're in a cab and he's driving me somewhere. I don't know. It's spooky. It's, it's. Is he your, you know who I love? He's one of mine. Bob Proctor.

Oh, Bob Proctor's good, yeah. And his voice is so Canadian and you can do it. I love it. It does seem very like a cartoon character. If I click on a meditation and it's a man's voice, I end up. I need a woman. I need a mommy. Yeah. To relax me. Right. Abraham Hicks, I'm hard on I need a woman. I need a mommy to relax me. Right.

Abraham Hicks, I'm hard on her right now. I don't understand anything she's saying. I don't get it. I don't get it. I'll send you good ones. I'll send you good ones. Okay. Bonnie McFarlane and I just send each other

Abraham Hicks things every day. It is the world of the meme love language. That's the only way I communicate with my friends. Well, it is true. And then you go and you see the holistic psychologist will post something. Oh, I love her. I love language. That's all I, it's the only way I communicate with my friends. Well, it is true. It's like, and then you go and you see like the holistic psychologist will post something.

Oh, I love her. I love her. And you'll just see which one of your friends like to post. I have one of my friends. And it's about like friend ghosting.

You're like, okay, I see who liked this. Haven't responded to me in a while. She is the therapist of one of my friends. Whoa. And has been for like

a long time. Is she amazing? Is your friend like killing it? Amazing. In love with her, obsessed with her. How did you get your name? I don't know. I think, so I was born in the Philippines, but my dad and his family spent a long time in Egypt and he spoke Arabic, even though

he wasn't Egyptian. He was French. And so the Halayla is Arabic. It's like a play on halayla, I think. Wait, when you say it like that, I'm like, it's a little bit Jewish. Halayla? Yeah. Oh my God. It's halayla. Stop getting your little circumcised vagina wet. She's Jewish, everybody. I am.

By the way, I also think I'm Jewish. Her little penis is getting hard. I think every percentage- I've seen Kabbalah for eight years. You did? Yes, I did. I went to the center and I got the thing. And then, okay, one time I drove out to L.A. from, I lived in Santa Fe.

And I drove out in my Camry. And I. I feel like we're playing a word game. My night. Remember these words. Camry. In my head I don't remember all those. Red string.

Was the Camry your first car too? The 1993 Camry, yeah. Camry was my first car. No way. You still have one. Oh my God, 1984 Chevy Chevette. Wow. I'm a 1983 Hyundai.

I don't know what type of car I'd be. But you, what does Kalilah mean? I don't know if you, what's the meaning of like Khalil, Khalil or Khalil Gibran? You've heard of that, right? The author. Yeah. But instead of Khalil, it's Khalila. So it's like a divine friend or something like that. They saw your shoulders. They're like, we got to give our master a name. You know, if I have a baby, I actually, when I have a baby, I should, I actually should name my baby Khalila. because it's Jewish and two I already have the tattoo it won't go away

to try to justify the tattoo why is her name tattooed on you? because she's mentally ill because I got what I thought was a temporary tattoo and I was lied to she got it for her birthday that's going to make her feel good it was a surprise

I bet you were surprised she barely going to make her feel good that she got her, this psychopath. It was a surprise. I bet you were surprised. Absolutely. She barely reacted to, how sad is that? She was like, oh. Do you have any tattoos? No tattoos.

No tattoos. Do you? All my nipples pierced. I had some empty holes in my nipples. Oh yeah, we love, she's put her big hoops

through her nipples. Yeah, when I was 14. 14? I was watching Sabrina. I was inspired. Oh my God, my daughter's 14. If she ever, that's my joke. I said I was going. 14? I was watching Sabrina. I was inspired. Oh, my God. My daughter's 14.

If she ever... That's my joke. I said I was going out with this guy. You know who the person is because he loves you. I said I was going out with this guy,

but he ended up leaving me for this woman who had a pierced nipple ring because he thought it was so sexy. So I got a clip-on. And now I never lose my keys. Well, my mom, when I first got my nipple pierced,

my mom set me up with, like, she obviously didn't like it, but then she, like, to try to be cool. What? Did your mom know? I told her in an argument. I was like, I... I'm taking the car and piercing my nipple. Fuck you. I had my nipple pierced.

I have sex, and I smoke weed, and I drank. I screamed it all out. What age did you say that? Wait, you had sex at 14? You know that my daughter's 14, right? Sorry. Sorry. Is she going to come out?

Is this some kind of a horrible, like, intervention? No, look. No, my daughter's so not that girl. Sorry. I was that girl. You were that girl. Well, my mom was trying to be cool. She was like, go hang out with the boys.

Okay, how old were you when you had sex for the first time? 14. I know, not good. On a waterbed. 16. On the waterbed. That's the worst. It's like you have someone that's like, can't you win? A the first time? 14. I know, not good. On a waterbed. 16. On the waterbed. That's the worst. It's like you have someone

that's like, can't you win? A five, six, seven. No, I know it's like, it's awful. Of course, I had to do it to the chorus line. A chorus line.

I know, there's a better rhythm than that. Oh my God, she's got musical theater genes. I blame the waterbed. Why are the rhythms off? Any musical. I lived in New York.

We went to musicals every month. All the time. Your life is perfect. Andrew Chappelle just, yeah, you know,hythm's off. Any musical. I lived in New York. We went to musicals every month. All the time. Your life is perfect. Andrew Chappelle just, yeah, you know, Andrew's one of the people in Hamilton. He just sent me a text because he's doing a new musical. Richard Kind was at my house yesterday. Name drop? No, drop names.

I'm like the biggest fan of name drop. We love name drop. We love name drop. But then there's lame dropping when it's not a good name. Like, did a movie with David Hasselhoff. Lame drop. No, no. Those ones are like, I mean, they're going to get mad at me for bringing it up but i do know

nickelback and i will say it again and again i'm like please stop bringing it up and i'm like why wait there when you say paparazzi nickelback my heart swells for you i'm really proud of you the lumineers are cool and so listen nickelback i love you i love you in a real way now uh-huh can you get us creed scott creed is next i'm on my way to cre. But he's religious. I feel like it's not going to be for me. I won't tell you how. It's a terrible story. Okay. No, not about him.

That's too sad for your happy, upbeat, witch. We love a sad, too. Kalilah. We love a sad. Kalilah writes depressing poetry. Sad poetry. Kalilah writes depressing poetry. Well, she did in high school.

That poetry came with the name. I mean. Sometimes she reads it to us and we fall asleep. Yeah. Your mother said you truth serum and I love you. It's a problem.

People are mad at me. I'm in trouble all the time. It's a constant battle. I'm like, do I be myself or have a career? What do I do? I could just be myself.

You're going to have an amazing career. I know because I'm shutting my damn mouth. You know what I love? I love how much you are confident on stage. How mean I am to Marc Maron you like to? Oh, of course. I love that. Are you crazy? It feels so good to just shut over. Oh my God. I feel like I've handed you the baton. Please. He likes it too. I just know how much he likes it. Oh, he loves you. I see him and he's like, yeah, she gives me shit. I believe it was his birthday this week. Yes, he turned 60. Oh my God! How is that

possible? He turned 60? Yeah. First of all, it's pronounced 40-20. Don't people. He's turned 40-20. It's his 40-20 vision. What did you give him for his birthday? I just texted him I love you. I didn't even put a mean comment in.

I just texted him something very nice. I didn't even put a mean comment in. I just texted him something very nice. What was it? It's the third? It's soon, right? I only saw because Pauly Shore posted about it and I'm glad he posted I would have. I cannot believe Mark Marin is 60. You don't understand how mean he was when I met him. Wait, he was mean to you?

Oh my God. He was nagging you. He wanted to kiss you. No, no. We were so. Yes, he was nagging me. I discovered that word from my daughter. Uh-huh. No, no. We were so, yes, he was nagging me. He was. I discovered that word from my daughter. No, he was so mean to me and I was like this prissy little wasp. I had no idea. I didn't even know what a wasp was and they were like, you're a wasp. I'm like, I don't know what that means. Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Yeah. And I was 24 and I met him and he had this like, and first of all, he was constantly smoking and- I don't know, he had stupid glasses. He was actually very like- Yeah. And he was so mean and he was so like, who are you?

Blah, blah, blah. And then we'd like go make out in the car for three hours. That's how he knows how to get like- Yeah, I was like,

ugh, you're disgusting. I can't resist you. Yeah, it was terrible. What is that? I never hooked up with him but I did go on a road

with him once and he like- I can't believe you did. Pushed me off the elevator. He like shoved me off the elevator and I was like, oh my God.

And it was like such a good move but I was like, I'm not falling for this. He shoved you? But it was like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It was like, oh my God. And it was like such a good move. He shoved you? But it was like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It was like just a little shove. I actually, okay, so in the green room at the Comedy Store.

In the green room, there's footage of this. It's a little shove. In the green room of the Comedy Store, I filmed us slapping each other the night before Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. It was so crazy. You predicted it. We have a weird thing where we predict things. Like, we predicted, should we acknowledge the Joshua Jackson breakup? We discussed Joshua Jackson last week on the podcast, and he's now divorced.

From his wife. He was still with Diane Kruger? No, he's been with another woman since. How do you feel about Taylor Swift and this boy? This man. It's fun. Look, I was, like, really sad when Giselle and Tom Brady broke up because I was like, what do I have? What skin do I have in this game now?

Wait, what skin did you have? I like to talk to my fiancé and like Josh Potter and be like, do you think he's thinking about Giselle right now? I thought you were going to ask, do you think he's thinking about me right now? Do you think we can back? Now that she's gone. Do you think it's okay if I hook up with Tom Brady? No, Kalilah would be the one. I'm the one? We send Kal going to ask. Do you think he's thinking about me right now? Do you think we can back? Now that she's gone. Do you think it's okay if I hook up with Tom Brady? No, Kalilah would be the one. I'm the one?

We send Kalilah to our athletes. Yeah, but he has a type. Kalilah, what's your birthday? I'm a Scorpio. She could sting up those athletes. What does it mean? Oh, no. She could sting up those athletes.

You know my joke? I told you. Oh, no. I had to have an emergency C-section because I was very high risk for having a Scorpio. And I didn't want my daughter born that good at sex and unable to forgive. Oh, my God.

It's too real. You're all water science. It's very interesting. So I was at Skankfest this last weekend, and Joe DeRosa. Is this a code? Skankfest is like a, it's like a, for the trash of comedy festival. It's like just, just the lowest vibration. Like we just rocked out.

It was fucking low vibes. I give you credit for knowing. It's just like, I mean, it's called Skankfest. It's weird. I was there, but it's so, I love being there. It's like, I fit in. I don't want to fit in. Obviously it was in Vegas.

Off the strip. Of course. Oh, okay. I don't think of you that way. Okay, but go ahead. No, but I don't want to fit in. Obviously, it was in Vegas. Off the strip. Of course. Of course. Oh, okay. I don't think of you that way. Okay, but go ahead. No, but I can't help. It's like I started comedy in New York with these guys. It's like I love them.

But Joe DeRosa, he hooked up with a trans woman on a podcast. He jerked her off, and she blew him to completion. On a podcast? On a podcast. They went into a separate room. And I keep telling people that he actually blew her because I just him to completion on a podcast on a podcast like they went into a separate room but i and i keep telling people that he actually blew her because i just want to up it a little bit like i just wanted to be a little bit crazier but um yeah that's what they want that's what they want this is what i realized all the guys were so happy for him and kind of

jealous like he was like the king of skank fest this happened at noon the first day of skank fest okay i've never seen DeRosa more comfortable. I just brought you guys cute little hats. That was it. I feel... But I'm just saying, I think the male comics...

I identify as a witch just so everyone knows I think the male comics want... That's what they want. They want, like, a girl that's not really... that has a penis. Yeah.

They don't want us. I think that's, like, the biggest turn-on for men. I think it's for... I don't know if it's for all men, but I think it's 100% for all male comics. Wait, Caroline, where can people get these?

They can get them on I Identify as a Witch. That's what it is. Iidentifyasawitch.com. Okay. That's what I'm bringing to the table today as opposed to Annie's story about Skank Press. You guys, it was legendary. You know what? Doug stand up and drank his own pee.

It was wild. Okay, okay. I haven't heard anyone outside of a fifth grade. You know what? Doug drank his own pee because he said that it was a cure for baldness. And I immediately broke up with him. And he's like, why? And I'm like, well, every time you go to the bathroom,

we won't be able to trust you. What are you drinking there? You're drinking. I know you're drinking. Like, I can't. I can't do it at all. He was a pissaholic. To be fair.

He also had a bird on his shoulder all the time. Wow. There were so many. The guy who first knocked out Manny Pacquiao drank his own piss. I really do. Why? I'm the best taste in everything, but man. The boxer who was the first guy to knock out Manny Pacquiao drank his own piss.

But why? I don't know. It's supposed to somehow make you str***** more. Yeah, but it's just. It's str*****. Why? I don't know. She just does. What do you mean? That's not like a sentence. I don't know why. She thinks it's good for her? I don't know, she just does

What do you mean? That's not like a sentence I don't know why She thinks it's good for her I don't know why That's not a complete sentence I don't really I kind of just go like

That's fun And then don't ask any more questions I go, that's I don't want her to stop doing it And I don't want to get convinced You know, I'm easily convinced Time check Time check, it's 1.47

Okay, alright Well, let's wrap it up, girls Yes, you guys We had so much fun With Caroline Ray Who was so nice to join us. Can we have you back immediately? She's going to come back. I didn't get to interview any of you, which is what my normal Aries nature would be.

There's so many questions I have for you. Now that you're slipping the Bobby Lee thing. My birthday is April 13th. What is an Aries? Are you fire? Yeah, I'm fire. Okay, so my mother was cancer. I love mother. My Pis okay, so my mother was cancer. I love mother.

My Pisces, totally best friend. You scared the crap out of me. And I am. But as a man, my nephew is a Scorpio. Scorpio women are, you're a tricky beast. Aren't Scorpio men too? Yes. Have you ever dated one?

Never. I'm always like, I'm like drawn to Tauruses. We need to get her and another Scorpio in a cage together. Like the last three boys have been Tauruses all like a day apart. Birthday. Really? What do they all do? For a living.

Yeah. You know, like blue collar stuff. Okay. I have, I always date Geminis. I'll only go for that. No, you really want, you want men with skills collar stuff. Okay. I have, I always date I'll only go for that. No, you really want, you want men with skills. Yeah.

Yeah. Actors don't have any skills. But you want someone who can like I'm done with actors. Literally change a light bulb. You're like, or like rewire something. No, actors have a skill.

It's lying. Yes, it is. There are great liars. They are. They're skilled. They're professional liars. Yeah, they're giant babies. Yeah.

Esther, you're an actress. No comment, but I do agree I would never date a male actor. And whenever I see my fiance on camera, I get really betrayed. It's a nick. I don't like it. He's behind, though. He's an actor? He's a writer, but he'll pop up on things sometimes.

He's really good. What's his... You cannot say that. No, he's a very bad actor. We never want'll pop up on things sometimes. He's really good. What's his... You cannot say that. No, he's a very bad actor. We never want to see him on camera again. My daughter is Scorpio Rising, and she said to me, because I had people over, and she goes, Mommy, who do I have to be nice to again? And I said, you have to be nice to everyone.

And she goes, that's not what I agreed to. When I came on this earth, I didn't have to be here. I'm certainly not going to be nice to all your friends. Can we let her go? And it's going to take 15 minutes to get out of your couch. I'm going to hoist you. I'm going to look a thousand. I'm going to press the cord. Flex.

Jesus, girl. You guys, go see Caroline on tour. Get yourself a witch hat. We love her. Thank you, Caroline. We love you so much. Come back. Come back to us. Get yourself a witch hat. We love her. Thank you, Caroline. I love you guys. We love you so much. Come back. Come back to us.

Yeah, you got up. It's just you almost toppled forward. That was the problem. You know what? That's just mean spirit. Are you at the comedy store tonight? Sunday. Oh.

I'm at a casino in Vegas. Oh, amazing. No. I quoted. I used to upgrade. Now I have a phone. Yay. All right. Love you so much. You guys, we're going to upgrade. Now I have a phone. Yay. All right.

Love you so much. You guys, we're going to— We're having her back immediately. We are going to carry on. Should we have a little banana break or something? Yes, let's do banana break. Don't we all have subscriptions we've forgotten to cancel? Yes. Let me tell you about one I just signed up for and have forgotten to delete.

I did a little bald app on Esther to make her look like Casper. Do you know about this? A bald app? No. There's a bald app? Yes, yes, yes. You should check your tags, baby girl. I downloaded a bald app.

It's one of those ones that's like $3.99 a week if you don't delete it. You're so lucky we have Rocket Money because your little whims are going to send you to bankruptcy. And you should see yourself followed. It's pretty hard. I definitely never want to. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills all in one place. It is crazy that they can actually help you negotiate your bills to be up to 20% lower.

Like, I feel like everyone needs that in their life. And Rocket Money is like an actual resource. Like, if you don't have that Jewish grandfather to do it for you, you need Rocket Money. And Esther's busy. She doesn't have time. I'm booked. Okay. I'm booked solid for the year. Cards full, okay? Dance cards full. We want you to stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and manage your money the easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday.

That's rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. Rocketmoney.com slash trash Tuesday. It is so helpful. I am an overspender. I need the money wherever I can get it. This show is sponsored by better health. Um, I'll say this. If I didn't have better health, I don't think I would have made it. I don't think I would have either. If you didn't have it. Therap really important and like as a 35 year old adult woman i can tell you i wouldn't have even made it this far in life without getting my thoughts out without sharing them and expressing myself and getting out of my own head and thinking like the anxiety

to circle would solve anything because they don't because truly your brain does get in the way of yourself and for me what i love about better help is you can switch therapists anytime which is such a luxury if you've ever had to do it any other way especially if you're like a people pleaser or like you're like oh my you don't have to do the official breakup with your therapist i love their journal feature where I can write down my thoughts in between my appointments. I love that I don't have to find parking to see my therapist that I can just switch my phone on. It's entirely online. It's so easy.

Flexible. I wish that we had had this when I was younger and you guys can make your brain your friend with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Trash Tuesday today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Trash Tuesday. Wait, I have a question for you guys. When you have a difficult breakup, do you overeat or do you undereat? Under. It kind of depends on the level. So it's like if it's really bad, then I'm undereating.

But if it's just like not that bad but sucks. What's not that bad? Because I know you never break up with people. You wait to be broken up with. Yes, correct. So it's like. Just like a leech. Leech is on until they pull her off.

You know what I'm talking about? You've had breakups where you're like. Devastated, crying, can't get up, can't move. Yes, but haven't you also had ones where it's like. Those ones I work out. I eat well and work out because I'm having like. I already feel like in the new chapter. No, those ones I'm like party on.

Like I don't have a boyfriend to watch me eat six bowls of cereal. I'm going for it. Like I'm free. I'm free, baby. I'm stopping at the gas station on the way home. Have you ever had a boyfriend restrict you from eating? No. Oh my God, I have. But like self-imposed where I don't want to eat in front of them. I dated a boy who would police everything I ate. And this was like peak athleticism, but he would look at what I was eating and, or better yet, he would ration my food out for dinner. That kind of sounds good. And I would intentionally be like, I'm doing dishes just so I could eat like the scraps off

the bones because I was still so hungry. I know. Basically I've just dated just obese. I've dated eaters. Um, I'm trying to think if I dated a guy that like ate healthy ever. I don't think so. I kind of dated a guy like a little bit who was who would like eat healthy when he could. Dating a gym bro is the worst. I'm telling you, boiled chicken boy. I never had that. Yeah, that is a kind of torture that I don't wish on. Yeah. Where it's like they can't have seasoning. It's like food's just not it's just about like it's not just them, right? They are patrolling and policing everything you do. Well, because they're scared. I have that with, I have that with Todd because Todd eats like McDonald's every day. Todd's trying to like gain 11 years

in health to catch up with me. You mean he's trying to get 11 years. He's trying to like. Biologically older. Yes, he's trying to just. By hurting his body. By being just terrible to himself. And, but Todd, I have to like allow him to eat. Like he, I usually just let him get whatever he wants, but it's, it is, I have to just never eat anything again. Have I told you guys the story about in the first month of me and Dave dating, I was at his apartment and he was going to go get a Subway and took my order and I got a foot long

and he came back with a foot long for me and a six inch for himself. And I was like, you can't do that. That's not okay. It was so dark. I was really upset. I think that is your partner's job to do everything in solidarity. Like if I'm fasting, you're fasting. If I'm pigging out, you better jump on this wagon. I will tell you, this is my first actual healthy relationship and we don't do that. And it is better. He's, Dave is so healthy that he would never even think to do something like that. To like, yeah, because he's not codependent and he's a sane person. So he's like, and he has boundaries. No way. But if I, I insist,, it's like I'm not going down without you.

We're going down together. Well, it's a good exercise for me in restraint when Todd has all this food around. He has a whole song. Now he sings when I allow him to eat pizza. He has like there's a whole routine about me letting him eat pizza. I've made a video that's pretty cute that will be going online next Sunday. You guys, what do we, at this stage in our lives. Do we miss Caroline? Yeah. Yes. Do we, what level of Halloween

celebration is like allowed? Like can we, could we trick or treat if we wanted to? Could we go to a crazy party? Like what's the right way to... Being parent age without a kid trick-or-treating is dark. Totally. I've been there. And very dangerous, actually. My friend was going to a celebrity, a dead celebrity party where you had to dress like a dead celebrity.

And he, instead of doing a dead celebrity, he was going to, his plan was he was going to go as Luke Wilson because he had just tried to commit suicide. But then he was like, all right, it doesn't really follow the rules. He was going to put like a big nose on and have like the wristbands. Wait, did Luke Wilson really do that or was that just the Royal Tenenbaums?

Oh, I mean Owen Wilson. It was Owen Wilson. Sorry, Owen Wilson. Excuse me, Owen Wilson. He was going to go as Owen Wilson. And then he decided, okay, he didn't actually have to follow the rules and he went as someone else. And he went there and Luke Wilson was there. He would have seen Luke Wilson dressed as his brother who

just went through a horrible thing. He was saved by like a moment. I mean, that is so, because it's an evil costume. That's an evil, evil costume. Was this party in LA? Of course. That's why like in LA, it's just, it's not safe. This is why I want to be in a small town. I don't want to run into any famous people. Try that in a small town. How's that song go? I don't know, but I like it. Oh, it's a Sam Hunt song. Everyone got mad because it's basically him like, it's very bad.

Is it the Sam Hunt? Is it a country song? Yeah. You're breaking up in a small town? He's like, I don't know who it is. It's this guy. He goes, try that in a small town. And then basically stands in front of like really racist places.

Oh, wait. Yeah, that's not Sam Hunt. I think all of us are at a life stage where the exact appropriate Halloween behavior is putting the lights on and sitting at home and giving out candy. Well, I mean, we are grownups in costumes right now for no reason. So I don't know what you're talking about. We've kind of made costumes a part of our career for no reason at all I think this year I'm committing to can I want to be the weird lady who's giving the candy out now guys before no I always give candy there's an epic there's an epic

scene in Terrifier 2 my favorite movie where Art the Clown kills this girl and then you see him go after her mother okay and it's an amazing death scene you see and then you don't see what happens to the mother until Art is now giving out candy to the kids in her head the candy's in her head wow it's so good Damien Leone my boy sick man did you guys ever have houses where it was like take one and it was like an unsupervised bowl and you couldn't control yourself oh and especially if they put the big candy bars out did you guys ever have houses where it was like take one and it was like an unsupervised bowl and you couldn't control yourself oh and especially if they put the big candy bars out i'm like oh okay i always respected those homes more than the my the way my stepdad does it

because i go to my my parents neighborhood is like the number one place to be in la for kids really like thousand yeah will you take us? Yes. Tom Hanks house. Get it? And some of the houses in his neighborhood, they have, they're set up as like haunted houses

that the kids can go to like while they pass out while they get the candy. But he's very strict. It's two and two candy only. He counts it up. Like, he does the math in his head.

So when I go help him and I give three, he freaks the fuck out on me and I don't understand it. Is it because he wants to make sure all the kids in the neighborhood get some? Or is it because he doesn't want to overfeed them? Or is it because he wants to teach?

No rhyme or reason. It's just two is the number in his head and he's sticking to it. Because that's nice. It's nicer than one. Yeah, but two? It's like also like who gives a shit? I'm just grabbing and giving to whoever. I'm not counting.

I like to throw it up and have them try to catch it. Annie! I make it rain, I throw it at them. I want them to be scared running away, but it's good candy. I think— Frere Rocher. I just—I get one of those Lucy things of Frere Rocher and they get to each pop one out. You guys, something really scary happened to me since we were Halloween themed. You know how like I dive and I do all that. Yeah. And I come across sharks like often and I never really have an encounter with them. That's

like super dangerous. Right. I had my first really scary. Did you punch it in the face? Near shark attack. What happened? I don't want to tell you because I feel like. No, I want to know. Okay. So I had shot fish and i was gutting and scaling and cleaning the fish on the shore like literally you murdered yeah i murdered fish knee high water no the shark came almost beached itself not those legs even the sharks fucking sand i never thought that the shark would come in that fucking close and it did and it tried to go for my fish because you had blood i yeah i was basically chumming the water but all i'm saying is this shark was huge and it came that close to shore like i'm telling you i had water up until

how did you you just run no the girl a lady who was sitting on the beach she was like hey there's like a a shark kind of like inching closer and i I'm like, it's not going to come this close. And it did. So she basically saved my life. Have you ever been under the water and like you like see a shark? All the time. Nine out of ten of my dives. All the time.

But they don't really do anything. They mind their own business. They'll look at you and then they'll kind of swim away. I'm so jealous. I want to be scared of a shark. This was the first time I was like, oh, fuck. Did it feel good afterwards, though? Like you got through? Honestly, like it was like a rebirth. It was it was a rebirth. But also I'm like, oh, I'm actually scared now. Like I'm scared of shallow water. Yeah. I hate that it was shallow water. I hate that. I'm like, Well, those legs are looking good. I can understand why.

Thank you. I mean, they look crazy good. When you walked up, I can't believe it. Really? How did she get hotter? You're not allowed to have low self-esteem anymore. I'll kill you. I don't.

Okay. I think I'm gorgeous. Do you guys want to do a little like intro? What witch you are? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should. We should do this. Should we talk about our costumes?

So, Annie, what are you? I was supposed to be the Wicked Witch from Wicked, but I am not painting my face green. You do know that the Wicked Witch is not from Wicked and it's from The Wizard of Oz? I'm supposed to be? No, I don't know it and I don't care, Esther. I actually pride myself in not knowing a goddamn thing about it.

The only thing I know about it is Ariana Grande hooked up with SpongeBob. That's all I know about Wicked and that's all I care about. Okay. I'm impressed. I'm impressed. I'm not one of you. Do you know Nicole Parker from Mad TV? Yeah.

She was on Wicked forever. She had to paint herself her face green like every day. Like she was in Wicked? Yeah. That was her. She was a green witch her face green like every day. Like she was in Wicked? Yeah. That was her. She was a green witch. Was she the one that was also in, was she in Gilmore Girls? I don't know.

Is she Asian? Half Asian? I don't know. Wait. Wow. Do you think I could be in Wicked as a munchkin? Oh, a munchkin oh i could be fiero i don't know wait esther why did we switch outfits what the fuck bitch why you have to because i really wanted that one i bet you did and i said we could both be this outfit and you said true. And you said, you're like, no, it's fine. I am not, I'm a little too bloated to wear a miniskirt.

Copy. I get that. And sometimes that's just like your lot in life. Do you know how embarrassing it would be if you were in a miniskirt and she was also in a miniskirt? Why? Because you've been doing something with the inner thighs that's different than I've seen before.

But also. Inner thighs specifically? They're very strong. Okay. They're very strong. Can you kind of stand up and show the. Just do it. When she was walking over.

My inner thighs? Yes. They're very strong. Wait. Is that all from swimming? No. What is it? Scooch towards your camera.

I want to see the whole thing. Ooh. Bend over now. Turn and bend. Look at the legs when she walks. Really? You guys?

Oh, my God. I've never seen anyone like you in person. Where's the skirt? Yeah. I've never seen someone like you in real life. Where's the skirt from?

Katie got it for me. I'm not sure. Amazon.com. Oh, Amazon.com. Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos. Daddy from Peru. Daddy got me this skirt. And this Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos. Daddy. Daddy got me this skirt.

And this is exactly how he wanted it to be worn. So this is, I'm supposed to be one of the girls from the craft, right? Yeah. So I'm a craft witch. And Esther, Salem. Salem witch? Salem. Which is just a bar new.

Back in the day. I'm so sorry, but like, I feel really great in this box like I look good I look like me I think that you're best when you're hiding some goodies oh I think like you hide in some goodies and people are like oh my god is she hiding some goods under there you like like the the glisten come like this the light glistens off like your rack and they oh my what's going on there? Are those goodies? Is she hiding her trick-or-treats under her trick-or-teets? But don't I look better in this?

Kalilah would look like a- It would be very disgusting if Kalilah was in this. It would look porn in a bad way. This would look porn on you, too, though. This is the thing. You both would look very porn swapped. In bad ways. Well, I don't know if it's bad.

I like a slap-em witch trials or a salami witch trials. I'm trying to think of what the porn name would be. What? Salami. Salami witch trials. I really would like to go to Salem. That does feel like Salem. Maybe we do a Salem episode.

It should have been today. Hawaii to Salem. The two places in this country that I really want to go are Salem and Graceland. I want to go to Dollywood. But people say it's underwhelming. Have you been? I imagine. I really enjoyed Dollywood.

Oh, wait, really? Yeah, but I love her. I just feel I would meet her. We'd ride the rides together. What can you do there? Is it, it's rides? It's rides. I mean, it's basically like a, like a theme park.

Graceland would be fun too though. Like Graceland would be so much fun. Wait, I have a question for you guys. This was a hypothetical that someone talked about on TikTok. But let's suppose you were a doctor or a nurse and. Who was going to win this one okay let's suppose you're a doctor um okay i would be so pissed if i showed up and you were my doctor and you're at a bar you're at a bar okay and i'm a drinker you notice you see a guy and you're like oh that's one of my patients right and you know that earlier

that week he had just tested positive for like a couple stds a couple let's just say one then julian julian's getting too scared let's say you know for a fact he has an std tested positive but now he's talking to your friend. Your friend is responding, they're flirting, and they're on the verge of going home together. Guys, that's what we call HIPAA versus herpes, okay? And that HIPAA is a true law, and you got to let that girl get herpes for your own career. You could be disbarred or whatever you call it. You could never work again. You could be kicked out of medicine if they find out you told someone a patient's information.

How would they even find out, though? I guess that's true. Yeah, you tell your friend, obviously. It's your friend. It depends. Do you want to be like— What if— Well, yes, of course.

What if not only am I not a doctor, but I've also never been to a bar, so I just can't really put myself in this position and I can't participate? I think it depends on the STD. Yeah, correct. So I think that, or if they're on PrEP or not. Yeah. If they're undetectable. Like herpes would be.

Let's suppose you know he has an active breakout. Outbreak. Breakout. All my friends wouldn't hook up until they got those STD test results first. Who are your friends? Thank you. Me.

Oh, me. You're right. Me too. But I'm drunk at a bar. I mean, it's like, come on. Esther. Andy. Have you ever been to a bar but no one could see you because you weren't tall enough?

They just saw the little tip of your head going. Esther, was it a conscious choice to just never drink? That was just something you knew you'd never do? Yeah. It must be intimidating when the beer is as big as you. But why? I've always said there's literally a million reasons. There's not just one.

For example, Britney Spears didn't drink. And that turned out great. And I want to applaud her. There's alcoholics in my family. I've also always had like a complicated relationship with food where like one cupcake is just never enough. And so I've always felt like that would apply to alcohol for me. And it did for weed because I was literally a drug addict for two years on weed. It did for weed because I was literally a drug addict for two years on weed. And I'll be back soon.

We'll be back together soon. I know it. I feel it. But, yeah, I also question, like, the fact that drinking is just – I always thought it was weird. Like, teenagers are just so excited to do it, and I don't know why. Like, my question for you guys is, like, why did you drink? It was so fun. It was so, so fun. Everything's funny and stuff. I was thinking today about how disgusting I find drinking. I feel like I feel so grossed out by it. I feel so happy. I don't drink. Do you? How about you? I drink

rarely, but when I do there, even,, even though I haven't done anything bad, you know that dread that you feel when you wake up in the morning? You're like, are my nipples still attached? Who have I? You look at who you've called. Who stole my nipple rings? Yeah, all of these things, that dread that I felt in my 20s. And is he of age?

Very Aja Argento. Oh, my God. She groomed that kid. Dark, dark, dark like dark dark dark yeah that's too dark she grinned anyways that feeling that dread that i felt in my 20s because usually i was up to crazy amount of bullshit i'd wake up like oh my god who feels so guilty i would just text sorry to everyone same so that feeling even now when i'm drinking responsibly at 38 i still wake up up with that feeling of dread and I hate it. Like it's alcohol was just an added thing. But it was very like quitting drinking was number one best thing I've ever done in my entire life. Number, number, number one. I don't know where I would be. Like I have no clue.

It would be bad though. The scary part about drinking is, which you probably were, is you're a really fun drunk. I'm a really fun happy you are good time yeah it was hot too remember she was in her little outfit when she was her halloween outfit her birthday oh yeah i might bust that out again because that is so good with the new legs too i got calf implants um but i will say yeah yeah, I can't believe, I was watching this thing on YouTube about this guy was going through, like, Always Sunny. And he was going through each episode to, like, track how, what, to try to diagnose, like, if Dennis was a sociopath or a psychopath or what. And it was funny.

It was, like, interesting. But he's like, oh, I wrote this thing down wrong because I was like drunk and in my head I was like this guy's just watching YouTube videos or watching old sunny videos drunk by himself like trying to figure out it just I was like oh I don't know I just can't imagine just being at my house like drinking the two other people that I know who do not drink any alcohol are not well as adults. One of them has just been diagnosed as a sociopath. Really? He got discharged from the military.

They never drank? They never drank. Never drank like a sip of alcohol. Well, because it's control, right? Isn't it like wanting to manipulate control? I don't know what it is, but he's a friend of mine, but apparently he's sociopathic. He's not your friend. He's been trying to get you.

But the second one is, we'll bleep this out but oh yeah there's i mean there's also dane cook and donald trump have never drank there you go guys and esther you're in a cute group i know very cute group but it's like there's a lot of people who don't drink because they had really bad alcoholic family members. And that's a little bit at play. Well, I mean. Not my parents, but. Yeah. Also, the other big thing is like there was no alcohol in my house.

My parents never drank. Not after I got in there. So I think that's another thing too and like what I would do like raising kids is I I would not ever want the kids to see Dave drinking because I think when you see your parents do something you're just like oh that's the culture that's what we do and so like I think the fact that was just never in the house never talked about I never thought about it I never was like I want to be a grown-up and do that but I wonder if um watching your parent have a healthy relationship with alcohol is actually better than

seeing no alcohol so then it's like you at least see it being done in a way that's not like crazy and then so when you are in college or in high school and you're at the parties you're like not like what the hell is this maybe but don't we all just basically didn't we all just agree that like alcohol sucks and we don't want to have it ever yeah so if it's a parent here's what i'm concerned with like if i'm raising a kid with a dad who at the end of the day always cracks a beer like that's a problem for me like then it's like oh it's something just dad does or if it's mom having a glass of wine every day like they're're going to be like, oh, alcohol is just a thing you do at the end of the day. I'm not down for that.

I feel like my dad used to have rum and Cokes and he'd go, can we have a sip? And he'd go, it has adult stuff in it. So we couldn't have it. But he never was like waste. Like maybe he was drunk at parties. Didn't that make you want it? That we couldn't have a sip of it? Yeah.

A little bit maybe. Yeah yeah but I don't know I think if people can just have like a couple of drinks to wind down and stuff I don't see anything wrong with it I personally could never do that I have no interest in that that sounds so boring I don't see anything wrong with it either like Dave is Dave is a perfect example to me of someone who's like sometimes when we're out has a glass of wine I'm like that seems perfect also that what you said is actually very accurate about like candy. Because I have cousins who grew up in households like. With bowls of candy? No, no candy.

And then I think that makes you go crazy. It's me. Really? No candy. No candy, no soda. The places with the bowls of candy, I go, what's going on here? But, okay, when I was a nanny. How is that a possibility?

No, no, no. This is what rich people do. When I was a Beverly Hills nanny, I walked in this kitchen. They tested you. They drug tested me for sugar. They were like, no, they were just like, is she going to eat this? And I did. They didn't want you to bang their husband, so they wanted to make sure you were going to stay nice and chubby.

Literally, like, those glass jars everywhere. Cookies, candy. And I was like, this could never fly in the household I grew up in. I would eat every single one of them. And then the mom was like. I'd wake up in the middle of the night to go eat them. The mom was like, we have it out in abundance all the time so that it's like meaningless. It loses its value.

I know. Imagine that they just had all those like shot glass like trays. And they had like liquor and shot glasses. You know, when you like all like drink them together. I have friends who are medical professionals

and I swear to God the only thing they feed their kids are Funyuns. Like Funyuns, that's all they freaking eat and sometimes I'm like, do they want like rice or like protein?

Funyuns are great. They're a great snack. They're a fun game well why why do they do that is that just all the kids will eat yeah or maybe i just catch them at the wrong time and they're just having a day of indulgence but i'm have you had a funyun i love funyun i actually haven't do we have funyuns here by any chance i literally just had a bag of them yeah we have to get you funyuns ASAP. Okay. Funyuns are good.

They're so, there's got to be MSG, all the things, and it's like, could not taste better. Could not be a better tasting. You know that Chick-fil-A is MSG? Oh, that's what it is? That's what it is. MSG is not inherently bad for you.

Say more? I mean, I just learned this from David Chang. Yeah. You too? Say more? I think like tomato has a certain level of MSG like naturally. Eat more? But I'm personally sensitive to it.

So I don't know if it's bad for me, but I do feel a little bit like MSG drunk afterwards. My friend goes crazy. We would go to this one Chinese restaurant in Santa Fe. She would be insane afterwards. She goes crazy? She would be like she was tripping. She would be like, like she was tripping. She'd be like laughing. Yeah, you do get a high from it.

It's a weird little buzz, I guess. I was like, are you faking this? But it was every time. You always know, though, when something has MSG, because you feel a little bit high. She would tell me, yeah, she would be like, but her mom had it too. So I'm like, I didn't even, MSG was not.

What is it? It's monosodium glutamate it's like a salt looking thing right? yeah it's like a powder and it's just like a super flavorful really flavorful if we just took like

a taste of it my mouth is watering how time is lunch getting here? a spoon of it is good? a spoon of it is good? or like it has to absorb the flavor it's in?

no like we always just add it to like everything right? like a little bit but have you tasted, like we always just add it to like everything, right? Like a little bit. But have you tasted it on your, like is it like jicama where it like takes in the flavor of everything around it? Jicama, such a good bland, bland thing to eat.

So delicious and wet. Yeah, but it takes up whatever flavor you put it in, yeah. I do like jicama. Esther's a jicama, that's why. She absorbs everything around her. She's just a bland, beautiful thing. Crunchy, wet. It's so crunchy.

It's so good in a burrito. It's really good, I know. My dad always gets no jicama, and I'm like, bro, you're fucking up. Grow up. Aren't you 80? Grow up. Grow a pair. Do you know what's so messed up is like,

I love yelling at my 80-year-old father. I'm like, nothing makes me feel more powerful than screaming full volume. Does he stay like... Like a weak man. He kind of has my voice. Your dad has like a deeper voice. There's like a raspiness, yeah. And does he listen? What does he do when you yelled at him?

What's his reaction? Usually now that he's 80, he just kind of like, I mean, it's usually like not a serious yell. So it's more like he just receives it and is like, all right, I guess I fucked that up. You know, it doesn't say that. For things? You yelled him for specific things?

I can't like, I can't think of an example it is funny like in my family but it's like fun you know how you like yell at someone you love you're like what the fuck is wrong with you like that kind of thing and you know they're so weak and frail they can't fight back i feel powerful that's why i'm so mean to you it's great when she tries to do anything it's like an elderly person i do find comfort in that i could do this to you. It's great. When she tries to do anything, it's like an elderly person. I do find comfort in that. I could do this to you for months. I could hold this dance in your forehead and not get tired. You could be trying your hardest. Months. Six months I could hold you like that. I do find I yell at Roger, my stepdad, the most. And he has your dad vibes. Are they hard of hearing? he's no but that does annoy

no here's the thing about roger that i take advantage of he you guys his memory is going out so if we have a fight like a bad one right now in an hour he won't remember it and he'll just come back into the room like hey sweetie how are you you hungry and so it's like i knowing that i can just unload and unleash and he's just like yelling at an old man that you love is really fun i don't have this you don't yell at your dad i love him so much i'm obsessed with him but we laugh it's like part of the love wait speaking of old people who else is gonna yell at him speaking of old people laughing and crying he needs to get yelled at what can we talk about the golden bachelor oh i am uh weeping thinking about it i'm keegling i'm weeping i'm having every emotion i should not have gone off lexapro like all the tears are

flowing at the i've never felt the way i felt in my life watching this. Doesn't he? Like, no, no, no. Okay. Do you want to yell at him? You do. You do want to yell at him? We should send you in. If I was his daughter and I saw him dancing on the show, I would be screaming. When he did the cupcake thing, I was worried about the children. It was hot. That was hot. Okay, wait. So

have you seen it? I haven't watched a single episode yet, but I do I've seen the cast. Kalilah. Can I just say? No, no, no. Get ready. This is the most compelling television.

To me, and this is sad. What I'm about to say is really sad. The craziest thing is because he's like an older, handsome gentleman who's like all glitzed up for all the ABC promo stuff. gentleman who's like all glitzed up for all the abc promo stuff you expect him to be like this la dick and then you hear his story and he is like a little lamb of kindness and love and you're like oh there's i'm just like do you find yourself so grateful there's an example of a man like that on our tvs i'm so happy for him i'm like get, get him his Cialis, get him his Blue Chew. Get this man hard, okay? Wait, are they showing steamy make-out scenes?

It's been, it's so, but the thing is, it's so- I'm horned up, you guys. The most tongue. Do you know what it makes me feel? It makes me really excited to be 40. Like, I feel like since I turned 40, I've been like, do I hate this or not? It's like, I'm seeing all of these grown people feeling so secure in who they are being so honest and so

like just fully themselves. And it was just like, it made me so like honored and excited to be getting older and just, they were, it's just like, he gave his like his, um, the first rose, the first impression rose to this woman. I know. And he's like, you know, you make me feel really seen. I know. And he gives it to her. He goes, would you like? And she goes, it would be an absolute honor.

It's like so real, the connections they're having. Because they're so evolved as humans. They've just been through it. And they're so sweet. And it's so real. And they all are. It's like we see the housewives, which is really fun, but that's like an egged on. I can't sit through 10 minutes of it.

I don't watch them. I don't watch them. I fucking hate the Housewives. But this is like so different. It's so wholesome. Sorry. I want to like it. I want to.

All I want. We could help you. One day. I don't watch it. I get my drama from like real people I know. She has been picking up my FaceTimes a lot recently. She didn't pick them up yesterday. I was so pissed.

Wait, okay, but then last night I called you. But Annie, Annie, Annie, it makes the other Bachelor stuff seem not real because these people are, they're 12 years old.

They're children. It's nothing. People in their 20s and 30s? You don't know what you want, what you like. You're nobody. You don't know your worth. Like, these people know their worth. Like, this you don't know what you want what you like you're nobody you don't know your worth like these people know

their worth like this is like time is running out I mean and also it's like let's hurry up can he just pick the one he likes and move on

and just bring a new one in like just bring a new one in everyone needs somebody on the show if they if these people go wait even better so like you know how

after each season they have Bachelor in Paradise oh I was thinking that they need to have a Bachelor in Paradise. Oh, my God. Right? They do. A geriatric in paradise?

The ratings better be so good. This better be—fuck the—what? Did you— You say in Florida instead of— They're probably already there. Oh, God. They don't have to pay for airfare. But also, it's like, it's so funny to see the facelift hotties.

Like, some are just so hot, and some are just regular. Yeah. Like, some are just like, a facelift is really it. I'm not, I really want to go gently into the night. Me too. I don't want to get facelifts. Me too. I don't know what I'll do.

But I do look at them a lot. Who knows? But I do look at them every day. I've not even gotten Botox, though. I'm like, baby, let's see how far we go. Let's go far. Let's see how long we can go. I'm not against it.

Let's see how low we can go. Oh my God. And like the late, like everything's just so sweet and they're just so honest and there's just so many gems in here. Like, honestly, I didn't see one person I was like, eh. I did. I did see one actually.

And she got sent home. Oh, she didn't get sent home. The one I saw. Mine was Matt sent home. Oh, she didn't get sent home, the one I saw. Mine was Matt's mom. Wait, so there are... Who? What about the villains? Are we going to have, like, a Corinne?

Like, is there going to be a villain in the show? I think so. There's one woman who literally did the ickiest move. And I can't believe she got to stay. But she, like, in the first episode, she shows him a calendar she made of herself. Oh, I love that lady. No that lady no she's the facelift one she did like a boudoir she's like look at all these pictures of me like her name's april right and she said they're all april imagine though you're on a date with someone and they're showing

you fucking pictures but did you see his wife he's never been around a woman like this his wife was very let's just say normal looking r.i.p beautiful wonderful person i'm sure but that is like being a guy who asks you no questions on a date oh actually which leads me into the next show you told me to watch that i watched last night no i told you how is it possible i told you what show i said don't watch it i said it's awful don't watch it it should be called pp i think it's called dating naked and it's on max it's awful. Don't watch it. It's pee pee. It should be called pee pee cookie. I think it's called Dating Naked and it's on Mac. It's not acceptable. It will make you sick. It's not okay. These Brits

are crazy. Yeah, it's a UK show. It's been around a long time. I'm glad we left the British people. We're done with you. No way, because Love Island and UK is still the best. I'm sorry, absolutely not. Love Island has got to go too just because of how bad it is. Tell what it is. I know what it is. Yeah, go ahead, Dani. No, it's not this.

No, this has something else going on. This is you only see people's genitals first. You see them genital first. You see everything but your face. Bottom down. Naked. Which is, they're like, because you never do this. I'm like, yes, that's what all of it is, is people judging you on your looks.

It should be, it's like, it's the opposite of love is blind. It's love is balls. Look at, and everyone's disgusting. By the way, if you're seeing just someone's genitals, it's actually disgusting. A hundred percent agree. It's never not been disgusting. You need a face. Everyone's hideous.

You need a face. You can't even catch a vibe. There's no vibe to be caught from genitals alone. It made me feel nice because it was like everybody looks different. Everybody looks different. Yeah, but how do you even know what he's looking for? Because I've never sat across from somebody and said, I choose him because I think his dick looks like this.

How about if you're the person they're like, oh, I don't like that vagina. You get sent home. And they're like, oh, his balls are longer than his dick. That was horrible. It's so bad. And he was doing tricks with his balls. Do you know what's so fucked up?

You see the genitals? Like, I'm confused. Yes! You don't not see them. You don't not see them. It's on Max. I don't know. Streaming is fucking crazy, man.

It's all you see and they keep doing close-ups. Do you know what is so sick and weird? Max is desperate. This is desperate. Go back to HBO. What's wrong with you?

I watched this with Dave and I swear to God I've never seen Donut's eyes glued to the TV. She was like, it was like a little kid not supposed to be watching, but was watching. Like, she wanted to see the penises. It was really cute. Randy barks at animals. It'd be funny if he barked at all the penises. Like snakes.

It's horrible. Todd's like, would you pick me for my penis? I was like, I'd pick you just from your balls, Todd. I mean, it's so embarrassing. You need a face. I don't want anything to do with this. It makes me sick. I know.

I told you not to. I don't want any. It's like, how dare they do this? But did you go far enough to know, like, oh, okay, people are like, I knew I picked correctly just based on the ball-to-dick ratio. I could not get far. No. It's ball-to-dick.

It's like, it couldn't be less important in the beginning of feeling a vibe than what someone's crotch looks like. And then they're like judging women's tits. They're like, oh, her tits. I'm going to send her home. And then the woman is like, she's like a farmer. She's like, well, you know, it's all out there. They're all happy. They're like, this is great. Why are you happy? It is great. Why are you happy? It's wild. Why are you happy? It's wild. Why did you do it?

And then they make the person that's picking get naked. It's so gross. You know what? Here's the way I would do this. If your face never gets shown. Ever. If you could do it fully anonymous, that would be like the case for it. Because then it's like, who really cares?

But, well, except for you and your feelings except the guy with the elephant tattoo i thought you're gonna say elephantitis i was like oh he had a big dick and he made it elephant ears around the dude is there any world where you would go on a show like this absolutely not tits alone i would never be chosen today bobby was like you have like salvador dali but isn't there something to be said for looking at a bunch of vaginas in a case you wouldn't just to know comparatively what yours looks like? I mean, but we can do that without having to go on a date. I've been comparing my vagina to vaginas my whole life. Everything is normal, though, Stella, even if it was, you know, all vaginas.

I mean, I've seen the whole scope and each one, you know, looks special in their own way. Right. But the problem is that early porn from the 80s and 90s specifically chose women that had anatomy that was very tucked in, that never really showed like a whole lot of labia. And they used to, in magazines, they would Photoshop the labia out because they thought it was too naked. Right. So then girls like us would be like, oh, we must be a little different because, you know, we got some things hanging out of there. And made me feel more accepted is what I'm trying to say. Yeah.

Well, not the first episode of the girls. They were nice and tight. I was like, are we only showing these? Well, they have to grab attention somewhere. You know what I mean? Right, right. The lips should grab it. Okay, I have a question.

Are there, like, known toxic traits that people have? You know they're toxic, they're bad, but it's something you can't help but you're still attracted to? you know they're toxic, they're bad, but it's something you can't help but you're still attracted to. Because we were saying, like, Caroline was saying Mark Maron was mean to her and they'd go make out. And, like, for me, I was once heckled by a comedian I never met and I threw a drink in his face. And six months later, here's my boyfriend. Like, what is going on? So the negging works for you. The toxicity you're young and stupid yeah yes i know it's so weird i'm trying to be like me like

when i nag you are there other toxic traits that you're currently name a few toxic yeah see if i would let's list toxic traits beer belly well. Well, I'm definitely like. Patronizing. Pussy is dry. Pussy is dry. I don't like patronizing. With patronizing. Yeah, same. Well, I don't.

Someone boastful. Pussy is dry. Ugh. Bragging. Yeah, bragging. Self-confidence. So toxic. Self-confidence.

What about like ghosting or taking a while to text back? Disgusting. Oh, I'm sopping wet. I love that so much. I'm sopping. Are you serious? Yes, I love aloof. I love someone who doesn't even have his phone.

I spent a year chasing an aloof man. It was the saddest thing I've ever done. Surfers are great. My biggest dry is when someone has like a career or like a profession. Like if someone says they are an actor, but they're not talented, ruins me. Oh, you don't like that? Don't like it. Because that's kind of funny.

You know? I've dated some pretty unfunny people. What are some other toxic traits? Like what are some things? Well, aloof is like so not a trait I would be attracted to. In fact, like I was friends with this guy and he started dating the girl he really liked. And he told me that he told her, no matter what, if you text me, I will always get back to you in 15 minutes. And I was like hottest, hottest.

I like that. I do like that as a healthy person. I will say this one guy, he was aloof all the time, but then he gave me so much attention. So it was like— Oh, yeah, that's what you want. It was like, oh, I'm being chosen. But then it slowly, once I gave it to him, once he got inside, he just started taking it away. Yeah, I get an ick if they respond within 15 minutes to a text message.

Stella, what is your problem? I like someone that's not thinking about me. I don't know. What is your problem? I like someone that's not thinking about me. I don't know. I will say this. When a guy is just like, when we're first starting to get to know each other, no pet names, and he's just like, hi, hello, very dry texting.

Yeah. Where he's not showing me a whole lot of, like, I don't know for sure, like, certainty that maybe he likes me or not. I like that. Yeah, it is the mystery. Like, I definitely think I was trapped in like a young adult romance novel for a lot of my life. And I was always, I think my like core wound as a child

was I really wanted to feel chosen. So I would reject and want guys to push through the rejection to come for me. And it did not happen. Turns out guys listen to you. They actually aren't as bad of listeners as you think when you go. I hooked up with this guy years ago. I was telling Todd about it and he was, I'm like, why am I telling Todd this? But there was this guy that I had an improv class with and we hooked up and he was like, oh,

yeah, I'm going through a breakup and I then I saw all the girls stuff around and I realized it was a recent breakup like he had I'm like when did you break up he's like yesterday I'm like oh my god you're still in a relationship I was like so mad but then for like two weeks we hooked up and then he's like my ex-girlfriend wants to get together like what should I do and I was like get back with her whatever I probably punched him I was like whatever dude and then i was like devastated you know then he got back with her and then it was like five years of torture there's one thing that i love but i hate at the same time i don't love a drunk but i like the smell of alcohol and cigarettes this is my biggest turn on yeah me too but i will never tell him that i

actually like the way he sounds he He smells like a just rebellion. No, to me, it's like a frat guy beer breath. Dave knows. Like if I smell alcohol on your breath, I'm like. It's so hot. It's really weird. What about a spit, like a cigarette and then a spit? Oh.

I like that. There's a gum chew. There's a type of a gum chew that gets me every time we've talked about this. No, we've talked about this. It's Ryan Gosling when he, at the VMAs with. Oh, that's right. It's like there's a chew at you. That's such a.

That's kind of condescending. It's like a little bit like they're objectifying and chewing their gum at you. Annie, I get you. But I think, okay, so I think that this is like a fear of vulnerability. Annie, I get you. But I think, okay, so I think that this is like a fear of vulnerability. And it's like wanting these people, wanting the longing and the romance of it rather than the reality of it. Because the reality of it is scary and you have to be present for it. So I think that's what that was for me.

I'm the same way. Okay, there's one more thing that I'm attracted to. But Todd, it's funny because Todd was like obsessed with me. And I was like, ew, ew, ew. And then the pandemic came and I was like, I'm so happy I'm attracted to but Todd it's funny because Todd was like obsessed with me and I was like ew ew ew and then the pandemic came and then I was like I I'm so happy I'm not single no offense I don't I don't love I don't love fuck boys but I like guys who have are known to sleep around I'm hit or miss with those but they as long as they're like polite to the girls not fuck boys because fuck boys are like rude to women they don't call back ghosts but if a guy is known to have slept

with a lot of girls and it's girls not too far away from my circle where they're like girls are like oh he's good in bed yeah then i'm like oh i like that that is toxic because it's a little bit it gives me i feel threatened but I like the feeling of feeling threatened. Well, I've had it with a guy where a girl, I didn't know he was, like, hooking up with this other girl. He had hooked up with her previously. And then I, like, hit her up. And I was like, is he cool? Like, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to, like, gossip about me or tell people or whatever.

And then she was, like, back with him, and I didn't know that and he was like playing both of us oh my god i wonder if i can say what it was because we have talked about it publicly but i won't say it but it's and he was like who was the guy it was we can't say who it is him i know so gross but she was like she was like to get me away from him this girl was like we'll just edit around that right um so to get me away from him because she like was threatened by it because she was pursuing him again she just told me he was like really bad in bed and that made me want to hook up with him more because i was like no way that the way he is with one girl is how he was with another girl like that didn't like that actually made me me more interested. And then was he? Was he?

It wasn't great. Oh, so she wasn't lying. I don't, but I think she was lying. I think they were a better match. I think their energies matched better. And mine, I was way more like open and kind of like a hippie. Like I was trying to really connect.

That's really hard for me. If the situation you just described kind of like a hippie like I was trying to really connect that's really hard for me if in the situation you just described where you know a girl that had a thing with him already I'm like out right there I'm like I oh to even know them oh to know them personally I'm with you so I would never I would never have sex with a guy who an acquaintance has had sex with just because I just don't like to mix that. It's hard to want to. But that's why I went to her because I thought it would be like fine. I also lived in Santa Fe for so long.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I think I went to Santa. I lived in Santa Fe for so long and it's such a small town that your best friends bang the guy that you are in love with. Yeah. And you have to just like you can't be mad at them because it's just such a small. And I think when I was still dating within comedy, it felt like that where it was like, all right, there's not that. I mean, we're going to overlap, you know?

For sure. In comedy, especially. I personally don't think there's anything wrong if like there have been instances where I've seen friends, male friends date exes of their friends and marry them with kids and it works out like i think that you know you shouldn't have these really like hard and fast rules about well my friends you know that's my friend's ex so and then now you're like cock blocking yourself possibly like a better match when guys do it too to me it always feels sorry to be like you know sexist guys but it does

feel like a little misogynist because i have guys don't watch anymore you don't have to apologize i have guy friends who are like they're like oh if my friend fucked her like she's gross like she's dirty like that's not what i mean and i do think it is my own toxic trait where like if i know you've been with someone that i am friends with and know I will just be so insecure about it right like it's I'm not confident enough or something yeah I'm sure I could get over it but I always had a thing with guys that like assumed they could hook up with me I never wanted to hook up with I didn't like that power dynamic of them like being too cocky about it that's's horrible. What?

A guy just acts like he assumes he can have you. Yeah. Like, but I always thought like when my older brother would have parties or something and his friends would come over and it was like, they just like thought they could hook up with me. And it was like, and my older brother would always be like, try, I dare you. He's like, please try a watch. And I would be like, because I was so mean to them because I didn't like that they felt like a older, more powerful vibe.

Can I tell you guys something about these brooms? They're not useless. Filipino brooms called walistinting, they're made from like sticks and they're probably the best brooms you will ever, ever use. Because they kind of scrape dude my mom's biggest like meltdown in america was over brooms because she was like they don't have real brooms in america she's like how am i gonna beat you into swimming i know so we had to find brooms specifically from the filipino store an asian store for her to just calm the fuck down because she likes to clean a lot and she didn't have the broom she wanted but those one well this is really good and then the other one well he's

thinking to the one in the middle with just that one. The best for outdoors. Oh, I like that. That's cute too. That one. Those are the best ones. I want to put Esther above it and light it on fire.

Wait, how is that a broom? That's a broom. How though? It's outdoors. Takes out all the shit. Leaves everything. Do you sweep? Do I sweep?

Have you swept? I swept recently i like vacuum cleaners do you have cordless i'm being real i have no i do have a cordless and i have a corded i'm actually in between vacuum cleaners right now do you have a hybrid you know we should talk about this which one the v15 animal i had the meal m--E-L-E, and it broke and it was going to be too much money to fix it. Like, so we decided we just ordered a new one. Fixing one is crazy. That's what you're supposed to- Unless it's a warranty.

Vacuums I thought were like buy it for life, but this one we only had for like six years. That's like a Cutco scam. That's like when people would come by and be like, buy the Cutco knives. The Cutco knives. This is like, no. Vacuum cleaners break. You get rid of them. Not in my house.

We've had, my mom has been using the same vacuum cleaner since like she lived in an apartment before my dad. Did she get it fixed? Where did she take it? There are specific places to get vacuums fixed. I thought those were fronts. There's one next to my house. I legit thought that a vacuum cleaner, like.

It's a scam for kids. It's like, buy my candy for my basketball team. Get a vacuum cleaner, like, it's a scam for kids. It's like, buy my candy for my basketball team. Get a vacuum cleaner. The vacuum cleaner repair shops are why I thought I would have this one vacuum forever. But then when they call and they say it's going to be $500 to fix it, I'm like, keep it. It's yours now. Is that a scam? Maybe that's how they collect them.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But also my mom, the way that she can keep things forever and they'll be just spotless. That's a generation thing. It's a different. Are you the dirtiest thing she has? Yes. I break everything I have all the time. She keeps everything.

Nothing's put away. Nothing's nice. Nothing's clean. Nothing's neat.. Nothing's nice. Nothing's clean. Nothing's neat. Well, happy Halloween. Guys, we learned a lot about vacuums. It feels like five years ago our beautiful Caroline was here. Oh, I love her so much.

I know. She really is the most fun. I just absolutely love her. Because it's like she's a fun big sister and she just is fun, baby. It's just I would love to have a sleepover at her house. And get her hats. Yes. Oh, yeah.

That's so funny. Can we come over? Can I sleep over? Can we come over and not leave till the morning? You guys, thank you for watching. We love you. We're so in love with the slugs. We love our sluggies.

And grab some merch if you haven't yet, if it's still available. And we will, as always, see you next week with a brand new episode. Don't watch that naked show. Don't watch the naked show. Don't watch it. Watch The Golden Bachelor. Watch it. Watch it.

All of it. It's so disgusting. It's so unacceptable. It's horrible. I told you it was horrible. I don't want to see Todd naked. I don't unacceptable. It's horrible. I told you it was horrible. I don't want to see Todd naked. I don't want to see anyone naked. I know.

There's no one. I don't want that.