Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Your 20s are the Pits Ft. Rudy Jules & Meg Garcia

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

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["Dreams of a New World"] Esther? What? You were breastfed till three and a half years old. Why is that having to come up? Why does that have to open the show? You have actual memories of being like, mom. Yes, I remember it.

Yeah. My therapist said that it's not, that wasn't good. Like it's not, at that point the baby doesn't need the breast milk. You know what I mean? I think your therapist was salty. She sounds salty. No, don't say, I'm like. Sorry, that was salty of me.

Don't say that. Although then also when I revealed that when I was in elementary school, my mom got a job in the lunchroom at my school. My mom was the lunch lady at my school. And you were probably really happy about that. I loved it. I marched into the cafeteria proud.

That's so cute, because all other kids, I'd be so, I'd be mortified. Embarrassed. Embarrassed. Because there's something wrong with me. You get that, right? No, no, no. I think that's so sweet.

It is sweet. But there's something wrong. You're not hearing. As an adult, I have severe issues. That you loved having your mom in school is like, maybe. I mean, maybe there like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's and whenever he's like having a hard time, he gets this feeling and he says to himself, I wanna go home.

But like that doesn't really mean like anything because his home, he is at his apartment or whatever. But then he's like, he interprets it as what he means is like he wants to go back to his childhood. And like every year that passes, he's further and further away from it. And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe someone's finally

articulating this publicly because that's like my whole thing. I had a mental breakdown during COVID and I like wanted to build a shed in my parents' backyard and move into it. I think that's okay though. But like, I look back on that, I can't believe your reaction.

I thought that was casual. What kind of shed? Like a home depot one? It was gonna be really nice. Oh, okay. It wasn't you were just gonna- Like an ADU. Cross between, yeah, that and the shed.

I feel like a shed would make you happier. I don't even think a nice ADU would have. You seem like a shed girl. No, you seem like a shed girl. I am a shed girl. It is. Wait a second, we should introduce our guests. Today is very special because we're having another family episode. And I think this is exactly what the show has sort of been missing for a very long time.

Is having people that are actually in our lives day to day, people we talk to on a regular. We've had Jenna, we've had Jules, and now we have Meg. Hi Meg. Hi guys, yes, thank you. I met Meg through, you're gonna love this Esther, such a hot girl activity. I met her because she was my SoulCycle instructor. Oh, You achieved the

ultimate goal which is to become friends with your soul cycle instructor. Like that's an impossible. It gets better. It honestly I but you know how I got there I had to earn her respect I had to get really good at it and sit in the front of the class for her to be like you know what, I wanna talk to her in the shower. Yeah. Did you actually, like, do you have like standout students that you're like, oh, there could be something more here? Like a friendship?

Yeah. Yeah. Based on like my athleticism. And your looks. Oh, thank you. Not right now, but thank you. No, actually when the, it was Kalyla and Kawinda, and then usually... Jenna.

A friend, Jenna. So they would come in and I would see, like, their names, but I didn't know how to pronounce their names. So I was like... Oh, yeah. There was probably, like, an entire, maybe an entire year that I was just like, you're here. I'm like, when is she gonna learn my name?

I was just like, there's a H, there's a K, there's a Y. I'm not like, I couldn't do it, but I met them. Finally, we like talked for the first time in the shower and I was talking to Kaila, we're in our towels. It's a nice thing about SoulCycle, like truly a hot girl activity, cause you just get naked. Wow.

We're all naked. It's a steamy bathroom. Literally, steamy, white towels, condensation, Le Labo. Le Labo. It was the Le Labo days. Yeah. And I was like talking to Kaila,

and Jenna comes out of nowhere. Kaila has a towel on her head. Jenna grabs Kaila's towel and starts cleaning her ears with it. And I was like, oh my God, this is her lover. And Jenna is marking Kaila. She does not like that I'm talking to her partner naked. And I probably was just like.

No, we were all naked. We were all naked. And then as I got to know them, I like, gathered that you weren't. I do want to clarify, I do want to ask Jenna though, if that was like a territorial move, which I think it was. I think it was an unconscious thing of like on her. It's really a big deal to me that you befriended

your cool fitness instructor, because once I was doing pop physique and the prettiest teacher invited me to her house on Sunday and I was so excited and then when I got there it was a pyramid scheme. Wait, it wasn't even pop physique? No, that was a class but then we went to her place and it was-

She asked you for your social security number. Yeah, well she started doing a PowerPoint presentation. Oh no. And there was literally a pyramid on the screen. Well, she started doing a PowerPoint presentation. Oh no. And there was literally a pyramid on the screen. I was like, I think I know what's going on here. Wait, I think, was it for Arbonne? It was for Arbonne. Yeah, you know, a lot of my-

That ran through. A lot of the instructors that I used to love, I could no longer take their classes because once I knew that they were Arbonne affiliates, I felt like every conversation was going to be about Arbonne, so I would like dip and dodge like any type of. Although just hearing you say that every conversation would be about that, there's something soothing about that for me.

Like I do want to find, maybe I should find a multi-level marketing scheme that like fits for me, so that I don't want wanna think of conversation topics anymore with new people. I wanna always just try to sell them candles. Like that sounds so relaxing. Wait, is there, maybe you can be, what's a big candle on pyramid scheme, doTERRA? Oh, that's the essential oils. That's the oils.

Oh, that's better for me, essential oils. I like essential, I've bought doTERRA. Jules, by the way, you used to come to these like, Jules used to do SoulCycle with me and she dreads it now. You were so good, you dreaded? No I wasn't, I was so bad but then at the Kalyla would force me like

we gotta go. Yeah. And then when I first saw you, I had like a girl crush on you. Oh! Like you were so pretty at the and you were just pretty at that. And you were just so confident and you stripped down and you were naked and I was like, oh my god. I know.

I was like. It's a full predator. Yeah. Just getting naked like, class of ever I'd start taking my top off. Wait, that's, thank you. And she always used to be like, she has kids. Yeah. I would always just say that you were so pretty. That's like nothing turns me on she always used to be like, she has kids. Yeah.

I would always just say that you're so pretty. That's like nothing turns me on more than hearing people say that. I'm like, yeah. Hearing people say what? She has kids. Oh, cause you have four children. Four.

That's- I know. They don't really do that these days anymore. No. What's four the number that you wanted? Honestly, yes. My husband's one of four, and I love his family dynamic. I also just love families that are really tight.

My family is kind of dysfunctional. Everybody's fighting somebody, so I just loved. I always felt at home with his family dynamic, and it was a little bit chaotic. But it took me a while to realize like, oh, this is like what I want, this is my goal, that everybody wants to be with each other and you know, the dynamics of like the middle children,

like the two end children, I don't know, I always wanted four. I never thought I would, but it's something that you say, cause yeah, it's kind of weird to have four kids. Yeah, I mean, just the way you do it though, like you've never said no to like a concert. Yeah. I mean, just the way you do it, though, like you've never said no to like a concert. Yeah. I thought you were going to say you've never said no to sex.

To like an orgasm. Because also, yeah. But that's the fun. I mean, I think that we it's easy for us to like get lost in that like motherhood like category, you know? And then the, I don't know. I don't know a lot of moms who do it. Motherhood is such a thing too.

I feel like when you have a kid and your Instagram feed becomes these perfect Instagram moms and it's very marketable and beautiful and the doTERRA and the candles. So like all that stuff, but I don't know, I just feel like you could also just stay in your like lane of what you still think is cool and continue. Maybe that is the hack though,

like kind of just like don't consume any mom content. I think that's really smart. I definitely for some reason was delusional and thought that like it was gonna be a walk in the park so easy, once the pregnancy is over everything's back to normal and that is like so not the experience and I was just like thinking about this how the first month after I had the baby I was like I gotta get back to who I was and then like as time progressed I'm like oh that person like doesn't exist anymore and

this is just like a fake attempt at something old that's not there. But now I think eight months out, which I know is still like so new, I'm starting to feel like, oh, I can like put on a cute top and like- My choker. Put on makeup and yeah, my choker. Whereas like maybe three months ago, I was like,

if I wanna wear makeup, I'm a dirty whore. Like I was just really hating myself. Like it's so, like I literally would think if I left the house without my baby, like just to go do work or something, I was like, that's evil. Like you're evil for that. But that's like, I'm shaking that off.

Yeah, good. Yeah. Jules, when you, I know you're only 23, but you know, people do have kids at that age. Do you, like, what are your thoughts around like ever having kids? Are you just like totally repulsed by the idea right now? I think I'm never gonna have it. Like I've seen my mom, because she also has four kids, my mom.

And I've just seen everything and I don't want to deal with it. And it's just, I don't know, I'm traumatized by it. I think you were also parentified where you became, because you had such a big- Yeah, I had to. Where are you in the birth order? I'm the oldest. Oh yeah.

Oldest, yeah. And then my mom had to work and everything, and then I had to help, and I was just angry all the time. Well, you had to care for toddlers basically and babies. And so I think that when that responsibility is like thrown on you, you kind of, you know, start to not think of motherhood for yourself. Cause you're like, fuck this.

Like I've already raised kids. Yeah. And it's like, I like kids. I'm okay. Like I can like still take care, but as my own, I don't think I want one at all. What's the vibe though in the Gen Z? Is everyone... What is it? Is it the generation of wanting to have kids or are you guys like hell no for B all the way? My friends, they want to have kids. Their dream is like their dream is like to be a mom and like have a family in the Philippines. They also do that in here. Yeah. So like there's just one friend that's like, no, I hate them. Fuck them.

Yeah. That's Corby. That's my sister. And also the oldest. So maybe it's like a thing with the oldest. Where are you? Do you have siblings? Where are you in the birth order? I have an older half sistersister by eight years, so my birth order is kind of like fake. Like there's really... You were mostly like a single child. Yeah, a single baby. I've been single. Do you want only one baby?

That's what I thought. I know. And then I got the curse of motherhood, the toxic drug. You're under a spell. So I don't know, we'll see. I don't know. But I definitely, because I'm my dad's only and my dad wasn't only, which is kind of rare for that era,

I'm definitely like, oh, that's cool to me. It's in the blood. But I'm curious, because I never wanted kids either, but I was like, oh, even when I was little, I was like, but I have this theory, it's, I can't believe I'm gonna share this. I think that the reason I never wanted kids is because I didn't like babies

because they got more attention than me when I was little. But like which baby is it specifically named them? No, I don't know. I'm shocked, but I'm also not shocked. Like, I don't, by the way, I wanna be clear, I have no memory of this. It's just, it's a theory I'm working up. Cause I'm like, I see other little girls,

I'm like, why do they love babies? And I always hated babies when we got, I got a baby doll for Christmas for my grandma. And I was like, I won't drive home unless the baby doll's in the trunk. I don't want anywhere near, I'm like, why would I hate babies if it wasn't like, there should be a reason.

Yeah, you didn't want to be like out competed. But here's the thing, it's like, I kind of completely understand this as the baby or the younger sibling. And I think that I felt like there is a discomfort in stepping into the role of motherhood when I've been the baby of the family my whole life. Absolutely. So that makes sense to me. That's why I'm having this insane change. Did motherhood change you? I feel like it doesn't need to change everyone

because some people are already mature and fit that role. I feel like it slowed me down. I feel like I was a bit reckless, but I still feel like I am. And I think it suits me with four kids. So like, I never saw my kids coming into my life as like, oh, this event is happening and it's changing and shifting everything.

Like everything stops, Megan, old Megan is like gone. You don't feel that. I don't feel that way. I feel like this baby joined me and we keep going. Yeah. You jumped on a moving train. That's cool. And we're not stopping for you.

That's cool. That's very French of you. That's very European mom. Je ne sais quoi. Almost. You almost got it. I felt so hot and then I was just. but I totally feel what you're saying too, because there is a part of me that died when I had a baby,

like the one that took drugs and like, the one that like was down for anything and now I'm kind of like, you know, in my Dylan dress. Maybe not go on, you know, benders and stuff. I won't go on a b know, benders and stuff. I won't go on a bender anymore. Yeah, remember when we both realized that your husband and my partner at the time were twins?

Yeah. Her husband is the Mexican Bobby. What? It was like shocking. Wait, we came over for Jess's baby shower and the boys pulled me aside and they were like, that guy looks like my dad. Yeah, like Bobby is like.

I was like, go tackle him. And I remember, cause she used to be like, you know what? My husband looks exactly like Bobby. And I'm like, that can't be true. And when I met him, I was like, oh, even like from head to toe, the mustache, everything. We like like short little... Did you guys ever switch?

Yeah. We should. I wanted to talk about just being with a short king. Have you ever been with a guy shorter? Well, Esther, it's kind of hard for you. Oh, yeah. A certified little person. Yeah, and there's...

I don't think there's guys shorter than five feet tall. I mean, I'm sure there are, but I haven't. Right, I think. I'm like just a little bit in between five and five one. You hear that, America? That's right. Your dreams can't come true even if you're short. Why don't we talk about short queens?

I mean, there are tons of those. Shakira, Kim Kardashian, Esther Povitsky, King. We have enough short queens, but like, no, statistically, like, not statistically, like, as a tall girl, you being taller than Manny, right? Yeah. Like, did you ever feel like, oh, this is different? Definitely.

There was a long- Were you ashamed at first? I was never ashamed because when I met Manny, he was like, in a gang. Oh! So I always felt safe, yeah, subtle, flex, not so subtle. No, he was in a gang called, it's the best. Don't say that. Should I say it? No, no, no.

I'm pretty sure it was just kid stuff. Oh, okay. It's just like high school dumbness, but he was in a gang. I won't say it. That is really hot. It was hot. And I've seen him fight people. I was like, this is the guy everybody's afraid of.

This is the one that I have to be with. That's like how when I was dating the lead of the school play, I felt that way too. Yeah. I was hot. I was like, I am safe. Like in high school? Yeah.

He was the king and the king of King and I. And I was just a chorus girl. Oh my God. So naughty. I know. The king and a chorus girl. I can't say I felt very a chorus girl. Oh my god, so naughty. I know. The king and a chorus girl. I can't say I felt very safe with Bobby. I felt safe with Manny.

He felt safe with you. He felt so safe. For sure. When we would hear noises, he would push me to the front and then he would have like a fake katana. Like it wasn't even a real sword, but he's like, go, babe, go.

And he would like push me to the front, or like, and then I would push Jules to the front. I would throw her to like the intruder basically. Because, but that's like right. If an intruder saw you versus Bobby, they know they have their hands full with you. And not the fake katana? Yeah, and not Bobby.

Yeah, but I can't say I ever felt like he could ever protect me, but it sort of like didn't matter. Yeah. You know, but I was, what I wanted to ask you is the first time you bed your husband, did you ever think like, oh, this is, this is different. Like, you know, you have to kind of positionally like change your body. No, but let's make something very clear. I was not, he was not my husband when I bedded him.

Oh, okay, that's right. You guys were in high school. Yeah, I was also a minor, so. Oh yeah, we'll not talk about the minors. Bedded. But what's it? They can bed each other? Yeah, we were two minors just bedding each other. Yeah.

What is it like to still be with like your high school sweetheart? It's exciting. It's really in the best way possible. It's comfortable. I feel really safe and like... Jules has questions. I have a question. Were you like ever like did you have thoughts like oh like is this the end like it's just gonna be him and you're of course and You're fine. You're like you didn't want to experience. I did Yeah, I was always like this is not working out for me this season of my life Oh, so you were on and off. Yeah, his family used to call me on again off again Megan. I know bitchy

Well, you're on again now with those four babies Oh, yeah, you showed them Super on He felt the same way too. Like he never asked him I don't want to know but I like that's the difference in our personalities is man. He's very like Grounded he's a Capricorn. Do you guys believe in the zodiac? No I don't even know what that means. You're like a Capricorn too then, cause I feel like Capricorns are like Zodiac deniers.

No, I'm a triple Scorpio. Can you guess me? Oh, that's bad, huh? What about me? I think it's bad. I don't know, I think it's good, cause I'm giving you something good. You know what my birthday is.

You just wished me a happy birthday. It was like a few Fridays ago. Yeah. Yes, it was a Friday. Yeah. See? But I'm not a Capricorn. Scorp. Yes, it was a Friday. Yeah, see? But I'm not a Capricorn. Scorpios are also zodiac deniers, famously. Just kidding, I don't know that.

I feel like Scorpios love the zodiac the most because it's like the most badass thing to be. Everybody's like, Scorpio. Right, isn't that cool? Yeah. Scorpios are cool. I'm scared of them, my mom's one. Yeah. This is one. Like really powerful women, Scorpios are cool. I'm scared of them. My mom's one. Yeah.

My mom's one. Like really powerful women, Scorpios. I would think that people who are cancers don't like it because it's like, that's not nice. Yeah, they're also supposed to be really sensitive. So that checks. That checks out. Okay, do you want me to guess yours?

Yeah. Wait, hold on. Let's say a few things about yourself that could clue her in. I've said so many. I've actually said a lot of neat things. She doesn't want to compete with babies. She wants to be the baby in the family. Okay.

Wait, side note, the other day when I was playing with Ace and I was like, what would it be like if Ace was actually my sister? And I was like, what would it be like if like Ace was actually like my sister? And I was like, let me like go into that mentality. Like if Ace was my baby sister, like how would that change how I felt about her? But then I ultimately was like, that doesn't, I'm like that's-

Did you start picking on her? You're like, I'm dad's favorite bitch. Then I was unfortunate, I was like, no, I'm her mommy. That's good. You probably wouldn't mind it, though, when people comment on daughter mothers, and they're like, oh, you guys look like sisters. You probably would like that.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah, but that would be crazy. I'm 36, and she's zero. There's a good chance, Esther, just based on the fact that you're 36 and look 12, that you guys will kind of grow up looking the same. Wow, I should just carry around, walking around, have my backpack on and be like,

my notebook falling out, like, hey guys, I don't know. You look really young. Really, even you think it, Jules? Yeah, it's weird. You look like 20s. Like my age. Wow. It's weird. That is weird.

I'm kinda, I'm, yeah, I agree. I, like, that is so weird because literally a little kid came up to me and was like, Are you a kid? I was like, You're a kid. You're supposed to know who's a kid and who's not a fucking kid. And then I was like, oh, you know, for a second you go, well, that's good, people think I'm young. But then you're like, I'm a 36 year old woman and he thinks I'm a child.

Like that means that there's something wrong with me. That means he doesn't respect you, for sure. That's all it means. Okay, so what is her zodiac based on? You've heard a lot. You've gotten a lot of evidence. Thank you. I feel honored to know.

Okay, are you a Pisces? Really? Yeah. Why? She's a sad girl. I'm what? Sad girl. How did you, how do they, you're the second person that guessed.

Starts crying. Someone in my women's support group therapy thing also. Everybody's a Pisces there. Oh, you guys are just like, it's okay. You're stroking each other. Wow, okay, I really don't believe in it, but I do also feel that I am an obvious Pisces. It's weird.

Yeah. Why, can you tell me, explain this to me. Aren't they like very emotional, like big feelings? Cause Issa's a Pisces. Oh, that makes sense. Jules. Babe, she just told us her biggest, darkest feelings. Yeah.

But yeah, Pisces energy. Okay. But I like that. Do you like sad music? Who doesn't like sad music? But mostly Pisces people really like that. Do you like sad music? Who doesn't like sad music? But mostly Pisleys people really like it. Do you listen to Interpol? No, I'm not. She's a lot of downright.

She's a lot of downright. Oh yeah. Sleepy and sad. Girlie sad. Girlie sad. Feminine sad. Interpol is like us sad. Yeah, like I'm sad and I also wanna fuck.

Me. Fuck the sadness away. That's very peaches it's very peaches. Yeah. No fuck the trauma away. Yeah I I'm like I'm good with it. I made peace with the trauma. Don't fuck it away Keep it. It makes it interesting makes the whole party interesting. Mmm. Yeah, it's not going anywhere Yeah, we can't let anybody con us into thinking, like, that we think it could take away our trauma. Like, it lives in us forever, right? It does.

I think it's just a matter of- How you deal. Coping. Yeah, how your body now reacts to it. Like, you know, through like EMDR, it's not about forgetting it. It's just about, like you said, living with it, knowing it, getting so familiar with it that you don't allow it to create false stories

in your head anymore. Dude, EMDR helped me so much recently. Like I had a traumatic event that was coming up and when it did, I would go, like panic, you feel a panic. And then through EMDR, it is what you just said. It's not that the memory goes away. It's that when it comes up, it's just like, oh.

You don't let it drive. Yeah. There's no physical freak out. For me, the most, the cool thing in EMDR, Jules, they basically, you have like stimulation. They, you can choose what type of like, for me it was like binaural stimulation, like you have a beat here, a beat here,

but it basically connects both hemispheres of your brain. So you're able to like, and then you remember like a traumatic memory, like you walk through it. But for me, the most helpful thing is, I think I have, like my body reacts very like violently to what I think the trauma was. I don't have like a clear idea of what it was. My body just reacts to it.

But with EMDR, I was basically able to walk through it with clarity and understand that it happened then and it no longer is happening now. It's so fascinating to be able to walk through it with like the wherewithal of an adult. If the trauma happened at whatever stage in your life, and usually when we're younger, these traumas, when we don't have the wherewithal to react how we want it to, that's so fascinating. Yeah, and you just basically cut, you sever that line or that idea

that it's still happening to you. Because your body is acting like it's still happening now. That's what trauma does, where it's like, you get triggered and all of a sudden, you're a child again and you're defensive or you're angry or you explode. And so with EMDR, I was able to be like, that thing happened in 1992

and it's not happening in 2024. The OJ Simpson murder? It was in 1992. Did you go to EMDR for... Honestly, I... images of the white Bronco driving away. Iconic. No, but I saw you when you did that, and you were like crying, you were sweating, like you look like...

Yeah, for two days. Scared. Really scared and like quiet. Because I think that people maybe have a misconception that therapy or EMDR is an easy thing to do, but it wasn't. It's really unearthing a lot, right? So after your sessions, it's good to have like safe person, good to have someone being like, hey, I just walked through memory lane

and it was really difficult. Can you watch me for the next two days while I process some things? But it really shakes you up. Kalyla, my favorite time of year is drinking hot chocolate and I'm perusing the Skims holiday collection site. Can I tell you which one I just got? Please.

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40% off your first order is only available once for new customers and cannot be combined with other offers. The offer is not available for prescriptions. Follow the link in the description. with other offers. The offer is not available for prescriptions. Follow the link in the description. The other thing is I also have found that EMDR can work for things that are maybe actually like smaller. Like if you have a negative self belief, which is something that I was dealing with years ago,

like where I was hanging around someone that always like would say something bad about me. And then I- To your face. and it but like like it was funny and then I started to believe that and I one day I woke up and was like why do I think that about myself I'm like I never used to think that about and then I put the puzzle pieces together and but it was like I couldn't like shake it even though I knew but EMDR I was like oh no that's not true it's crazy how insidious a person like that can be where they plant these tiny seeds in your head of like for you for example of you're not

funny or you're lazy or you're this you're A B C and D and it's you know packaged in a way that's funny. So our response is to always just take it, take it, take it. And then, like you said, over the years, you don't realize that that thing grows and then you become those things that you believe in. You believe it. Yeah. And it's not true.

And it's like literally, if you're watching TV and you see a commercial for Taco Bell and then three hours later you're like, I want Taco Bell. It's like that, it works. Like that shit works. Subliminal message. Subliminal, yeah, we almost got there. I can't say anything that has like more than three syllables.

Subliminal. Four is like. She cuts off there. Je ne sais quoi. But it also kind of speaks to like how permeable we are. And maybe we needed to work on that because it's like, not to be at the mercy of your external people around you. So if someone is saying those things about you,

it maybe speaks to our lack of, you know. Even if you're a sure-footed person, I feel like hearing that kind of stuff about yourself enough where somebody's always trying to make you like the, what is it, the punch line. And I would get that a lot just being like the way that I parent. I kind of get it a lot in my husband's family because everybody's very dialed in. So sometimes my sister-in-law's, and I love them, they're perfect, but sometimes they're not perfect. No one's perfect. But sometimes they would say things like, oh, like that's so you, you're so like unorganized.

And I'm like, actually, I like spin a lot of plates and like more than you. Yeah. You know, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job, but it is, and I think I'm a sure-footed person and sometimes to a fault, but I have that in my life too. And that's like the closest people to me, like my family where they're like,

oh, you're so like unorganized. I feel like it can even happen the most in family, because family will see you one way that maybe you were when you were little. And then, yes, that makes sense. They feel safest. And you're probably most prone to listen to them and know it's not coming from an evil place.

But it might not be coming from an evil place, but it's not coming from a good place. Yeah. And, Klyle, you're so right too. It's like, it is, the responsibility also lays on like me to like not let that permeate. But now I know. And to kind of hear those things and being like, this person clearly doesn't know me.

That's the correct response. Yes, that's right, that's right. But listen, I am, I am the victim of the, and I'm not the victim, I'm never a victim. I was gonna say, I'm the victim of the, and I'm not the victim, I'm never a victim. I was gonna say, I'm so jealous, victim, congrats. Thank you. But this is something that I've really had to learn even existing on the internet.

There was a time, I'm not kidding you, when the whole Bobby breakup thing was happening and then the incel dumb was just like peaking right where I literally went to therapy and I had written down all of these things that they had said about me and I was in tears and I was talking to my therapist who's been my therapist for years and I said Lynn can you tell me if I am these things like I don't know myself anymore Like like my family says I'm kind my family says I'm I'm Jules thinks I'm you know a good auntie

Like these people in my life say I'm a good person But I'm starting to convince myself that I'm evil that I'm this I'm ABC and the internet is telling me this Can you tell now I was broken Tell me that I that I am these things. I need to hear it out of your mouth because I don't know who I am anymore. They have convinced me that I am this thing. And so I understand that so fully

because you really start to mindfuck yourself into thinking you're someone that they say you are. I am so glad to hear that you, when you were going through that, you like went to a therapist, you said, here's what I'm doing. And like you asked for the hear that you, when you were going through that, you like went to a therapist, you said, here's what I'm doing, and like you asked for the help that you needed, which was just to hear her say,

like to me, I'm like, oh, that's such a good sign that like you knew what to, you wanted help and you knew kind of how to get it, and you were trying so hard. Yeah, they're saying, Lynn, that I'm a narcissist. They're saying that I'm a this, that, that, that I'm that, and she was, she was like, K're saying, Lynn, that I'm a narcissist. They're saying that I'm a this, that, that, that, that I'm that, and she was like, Kalyla, like really. And you know, I walked away from those sessions really learning that, you know, I had to be less permeable.

How I was gonna be less permeable, who knows? Because I'm always gonna be a sensitive person. But I totally relate to that. It's a mindfuck when people tell you who you are because it does get through, it does get under your skin. I don't care how strong you are. Yeah, exactly. And as much as, even as like outside perspective,

it's like, well, you don't know these people and it's like, it's just trolls online. But yeah, it's like, how can you... It's advertisement. Yeah, and it's- They're advertising this and you're seeing Yeah, and you're human to want to know what people say about you. So it's like, how could you avoid knowing what the dialogue is about you?

And there's more because you guys are out there, there's more about you out there. So it's scary, but it's just like, I think it's a human reaction to want to know, and it's also human reaction to be very sensitive to it because it's fucked up. That people think that they know you. But I think I said this in a more recent episode.

I've come to the realization too, that it's like, while I wanna be impermeable to all of the bad things, I wanna't wanna not, I wanna stay sensitive. I love that you said this. I almost just brought this up. This is like, I've been thinking about this a lot. I feel like it was such a gem that you dropped of like, actually, no, I don't wanna be this like strong, tough guy.

That's like, you say whatever you want. It just bounces off me. Like you wanna stay, you wanting to stay sensitive is so, like, beautiful. I wanna stay true to who I am. And if sensitive is what I am, then that's just, because what happens is if you try to just block it all off, nothing hurts me,

you will have a very high threshold for bullshit and people mistreating you. You're gonna be like, yeah, go ahead, give it all to me. I don't want that life. I want my gauge to be correct. I want when something hurts me to hurt me. When something is hurtful, that it hurts me. Jules hit her.

Punch her in the face. Something worthy though, just that you don't wanna be jaded. That this stuff can harden somebody so much that they're jaded. That this stuff can like harden somebody so much that they're jaded and that, you know, like that even family can't get through. Or like the family and friends, you know, like that's, that is like a scary thing. And that is a thing that I think is on the line

probably for a lot of people that are in the public eye, you know, that you get love and accolades and you also get a tremendous amount of fucking hate and haters and people that also get a tremendous amount of fucking hate and haters and people that get a rise out of scratching somebody like that. But I really had to turn to you guys when a lot of that stuff was happening and it still obviously happens, right? I had to look at Jules, I had to look at you and look at my friends and my family and really be like, guys, like, if what they say is true, can someone tell me?

And no one did, you know? All of you guys were like, Kaleila, like, we love you. And so that was, I mean, and Jules had poor Jules. You had to live through all of that with me. Crazy. Jules, how do you deal with, because you're so young and you're in the public eye, does that affect you?

How does that? I think it affects me, but I don't know, because I'm such a people pleaser, and Atikala always says, don't read the comments, don't read it, and I still read comments, don't like to read it. And I still read it and I get affected a lot. Really? Yeah. It hurts. It really hurts.

And I'm glad it affects you. Because that, I never want you to be like Esther says, this like macho person. Yeah. It, it, but I want you to also control how it affects you. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to like handle right now. Yeah, it's tough. It makes me cry. Like if I know that you are on a podcast

with Bobby and Andrew and Bobby is the Lord of Inseldome. Like he is their Lord and savior. Do you understand like what you're up against? Like he is like the king, they're shrines of Bobby in every basement in America because he represents something really kind of cool in a way, which is like he was always been the underdog. He's not been a prototypically handsome guy

by American standards, but somehow he gets the hot chicks. Yeah, don't talk about my man like that. But you know, so like, no matter where you go, if you are associated to Bobby in any way, that is the type of demographic that you're up against. But it's so weird cause Bobby Bobby himself is not like that. He's not. He's not, but it doesn't matter who he is.

It matters how he's perceived. And who likes him. And who likes him. I also think it's very difficult specifically for incels to wrap their head around a beautiful, smart, funny person like you being with Bobby for so long. I think that was part of it too. So they could not handle it, I've always thought.

That was my perspective. Yeah, and- Which is by the way just an insult to him. It is an insult to him. It's just a way of saying they think he's ugly. Right, and all these years, I've been the only one saying like, I think you're hot. I know, they're like, no,

they're saying to their leader, no woman would wanna to fuck you. This is weird. It's so sad. But I'm sorry that, that I'm sorry, but I'm also not Jules, because I think you do handle it with so much grace, and you really do just like take it all in the chin, and generally like you are very beloved.

Yeah. You know, so. You seem like you're pretty grounded, and like. I do. But, I'll accept that one time a few weeks ago, when you said that you don't go out because you're too fat, that was, you definitely have some American,

some good old classic. Yeah. American insecurity. Inspired eating disorder stuff. Yeah. I think I'm grounded enough. Yeah. But recently, since I've like gotten older,

like I've like, I keep getting like either like flashbacks or like triggers that makes me like, I don't know, like I feel scared and it gets me like anxious a lot. Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. And it's that exact age. I spent most of my young life just surviving. And I wasn't aware enough to know why I wasn't thriving.

I was just white-knuckling my teenage years. I was white-knuckling most of it. I drank alcohol. I tried to blur it all out. I could not make sense of any of my emotions. And it wasn't until I was your age where I was like, why did these things, like, why am I afraid to go out?

Why am I getting panic attacks while I'm getting my mustache waxed? You know, like. Well, I know why. Yeah. So, like, I remember my first panic attack was in Ayala at the mall. And it was so weird, because I was 20 years old.

And I closed my eyes, I was getting threaded here, waxed here. The most minor thing, I woke up and I could not breathe anymore. And I had to go to the hospital that day. And all it was, was a panic attack. It was my entire existence and my entire set of trauma, just catching up to me in that one moment

that I had never addressed because I just white knuckled my whole life. And during the pandemic, you didn't realize it then, but remember I told you we need, you need to see a therapist because I didn't want this to happen to you. It catches up. Yeah. It's like, I feel like it's catching up and like, like before I felt like so in control of myself and now it's like a lot like triggers me and like

The good news is you have Kali I feel like it's nice to have that perspective, you know And all the other aunties. You're such a sweet, cool girl. Oh my God, it's so cool of you two to open up like this. Thank you. You're so mature. I do worry about you in that way, Jules, because Bad Friends is so joyful. There's so many joyful things about it, and it's so funny, and there's so much levity.

You guys are doing this comedy podcast, but it's hard. Yeah. It's hard. And by the way, people forget that you came to this country. Yeah, you had me, but you left your entire family. You went through a pandemic alone and like, you didn't have a high school experience, which we thought you were gonna have here. You ended up not even having a real palm.

You left your entire family. She had an entire core base of friends. Like, you know how you feel about high school, where you're just like, these are my friends, these are my home. No, I can't imagine what you did, and then what you came to. Fucking shit show.

You know, I can't imagine. And also I feel like, I think that it's kind of universal that your age, to even to 24, was the hardest time for me too. There's just so much uncertainty. Like it's really hard to live in the gray area. It's like you're this age and you know that you want your career to be this.

And like that is very black and white. And my life will look like this. And the things that keep me up at night, like the dream of my life looks like this. And like how the fuck do I connect the dots? Because right now there's so many things that are like out of your control. When you came here, like everything was out of your control.

I can't, what you did was so incredible. And also thousands and thousands of people wish that they had your like life. So it's confusing. Yeah, and you've always been the person. I wish I had your life, does that help? Me too, Jules, me too. I wish I had your life. Does that help? Me too, Jules. Me too.

I wish I was as beloved as you, baby, and her, truly. But you know, I wish you always have this resolve about you. And I think this is what people don't realize, is that you do always look like you're in control. You've always been an A-plus student through college. You graduate next year. You've never disappointed a single person in your life, right?

Optics wise, that's what everyone thinks. Jules will always do what she's supposed to do. Jules will always show up. She's always going to people please. She's always going to say yes to things and be amenable to things. But like, I think that you do need to address the things that like burn deeply inside you. It's not worth it to live this life pleasing everyone but yourself.

Yeah. That's what I'm... Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Like, I feel like I need like therapy. Yeah. Yeah, like to talk I'm thinking. I feel like I need therapy. Yeah. Yeah, I like to talk about it. Yeah, and I think Jules, nothing we say to you is going to ultimately make you feel good about yourself. But truly, you are one of the coolest human beings I know. Not because you're my niece, just because you're Jules. I think that even if I wasn't related to you,

I would still have such a deep love for who you are as a human. You really are so fucking cool. You're great to animals. You're great to everyone around you. And you're just cool. Thanks, Satha. But, yeah.

Oh, Jules. I just wanna say it does get better. It doesn't, Jules. It actually doesn't. Okay, it shifts. It goes up and down. It shifts. It goes up and down.

Yes, Esther, it's not linear. Stella, that was a blatant lie. Okay, sorry. I'm saying her feelings right now. I was also my most depressed when I was 24. So I'm saying, like, if your feelings right now, it'll change. You'll be miserable about something else, but what you're miserable about now won't change.

You're right, the 20s are the pits. Is it like worse? It sucks. The 20s suck, you don't know who the fuck you are. It's so confusing because you're told that you're an adult because you're not in high school anymore and you're over 18, but it's like, you're not an adult. I always say, I feel like I was a child

till at least 27, if not 31. Like, you are, you don't have the tools yet. And I think it's this weird outdated messaging from society that you're an adult, but like you're transitioning to be an adult and you still need like a lot of like, you need help from a therapist. You're so lucky to have Kali and your other family.

Like, but yes, you're, this is so normal and there's nothing wrong with you. And you, I do agree with Sal, like you will get better, but I also agree with Kali, it will then get bad again, but you'll have learned the tools. Yeah, I think that's the main key is like having the tools. Cause I think, you know, life is like, in the way I see life,

it's always gonna be some level of suffering, right? But that's what sort of like, you know, that's the deal. That's the deal. That's the deal about being born is no one lives blissfully, like fucking ever. And if you do, like, I probably don't want to know you because I couldn't relate to you. There's some moderate amount of suffering,

but we got to keep it at the moderate. To be fair, the blissful people wouldn't want to know us either because we would just bum them out. We would bum them out completely. So it's a mutual agreement to not talk. And no one is thriving at your age. And that's it. I told you, like, 23. What the fuck was I doing?

Like, probably downing a fucking bottle of Jack, like, with my 40-year-old tattoo artist boyfriend who was... Oh, God. ...a closeted gay guy and who threw a fucking, one of those old phones, thank God those old phones don't exist anymore because I got one thrown at my face. And he also full mounted me and punched me in the face. Oh my God.

He punched him in the face. He punched me in the face, yeah. Damn, 20 was really rough for you. 20 was rough for me but also just, I mean the beginning of the 20s was hard because especially what you said really rang true. It's like, everybody around you is convincing you that you're an adult and that you should

have your shit together. And nothing is, like you're stepping through jello every single time. You're like, okay, this is, it's a sham. You know, and then you do get, and then you get to like 36 and it's still a fucking sham, you know? Like you get your bills and you're like, UGH!

It's, it's just, it does get better and everybody that you've ever, anyone that you ever like, looked to and I'm, I'm speaking to like, to the ones that are closest to you, like two of the most, I don't know, you and your sis, I like revere you guys as such strong women. And I know that it wasn't easy to get there. And that's why as like, as a friend, like I do revere you, you know, because I know you have hit your fucking pits

and you've also come out of them. So it's just, yeah, it's the deal. you're fucking pits and you've also come out of them. So it's just, yeah, it's the deal. Jules, what's like coming up for you? How are you feeling right now? Like what's on your mind? I think I'm feeling better. You guys like comforted me a lot. You know what Jules, I also have a hard time with that word.

She's like, everyone makes fun of me for, wait, how did we learn it in the Philippines? Comfort? Comfort, comfortable in the Philippines? Com-fort? Com-fort-able? Com-fort-able? Com-fort-able. I say uncomfortable. How do you say it?

I say uncomfortable, but com-fort-able. I can't, yeah. I can't say it. We were taught uncom-fort-able. Uncom-fort-able. So my problem, can I tell you my immigrant problem with this word? I came to America and I said, I am uncomfortable.

And then I got teased for saying that. So I dropped three fucking letters from there. So now I say uncomfortable, which is also apparently incorrect. Uncomfortable. Oh, what is it? Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. Uncomf-ter-ble. Oh, there's a ter in there. Uncomf-tercomfortable. Uncomf-ter-ble? Oh, there's a ter in there.

Uncomf-ter-ble? Uncomf-ter-ble. Uncomf-ter-ble. Even you said cl- clothes. Clothes. It's not clothes. It's cl-ows, I guess. Clothes?

Clothes? Clothes. Like your clothes? Clothes. Clothes. Clothes. Clothes. How do you say it?

Clothes. Clothes. You do say cl- I say cl-ows. What? Clothes. Clothes. How do you say it? Clothes. Clothes. You do say, I say clothes. What? Clothes. Oh my God. Put your clothes in the laundry. But you know what, I can't say- That's close enough, who gives a fuck?

I can't say, in, in a vet, In a vet-able? I can't- Inevitable. I can't say it. I was like, we're never gonna get there Try try in in Evie Evie double double in a little and she knows this table

inevitable in a vet Inevitable in a vet to Inevitable inevitable in a minute. I You're putting the T in the wrong place. Inevitable. Inevitable. No guys, we're not leaving here until we get this. Don't make her, please, please, please, we have to. I'm sorry.

And you know what, wait, let's go back to it really quick. We don't have to talk about it the whole time, but I feel like understanding, like what you understand right now without therapy, therapy will like kind of peel back and you're like, oh, this trigger actually, it looks like this on the surface and this is what I think is triggering me, but actually like it's, I miss my mom. Yeah, it's a simple, very simple.

That is so true because the feeling in your body is so big, right? Like now you're starting to be like, I don't want to go outside. I don't like big crowds. Why am I all of a sudden fearful? One of my favorite clips is literally Mike Tyson. You know who Mike Tyson is. Mike Tyson, the biggest, baddest, fucking uppercut. Like, well, uppercut anyone to death, right?

He asked one of the gurus, I forget what it was, but he was like, why am I this guy? I am Mike Tyson, one of the most feared physical fighters of my time. Why am I so afraid? And it's like, it doesn't matter how big and brute and how seemingly in control you are. We all have it.

And you just have to figure out, like Meg said, why all of this fear is coming up for you, and you can't make sense of it. And it could be as simple as, I miss my mom, like Meg said, why all of this fear is coming up for you and you can't make sense of it. And it could be as simple as I miss my mom or that one time she took a wooden comb and fucking bashed my head, which I witnessed by the way.

So all of these things, you will slowly start to connect. And when you connect them, you have a reason for it and it doesn't show up in your body the same, right? You're not gonna spend your 20s just living with clenched fists because you don't understand why you have this immense amount of fear bubbling over in your body. I'm learning right now that the things that I obsess over

and I'm afraid of and my anxiety, what I've really learned, which it's taken me so long to learn this is like, it jumps from thing to thing. So like, I'll think, oh my God, I'm just really interested if I just solve this one problem in my life and everything will be fine, but no, it jumps around. And actually I haven't brought this up yet.

My therapist said I have OCD. Does that, do you think I do? OCD or OCD, PD? OCD. Oh really? I think you have, the obsession part rings very true for me. Yeah. Like I don't see like the compulsion as much or maybe there is some compulsion in like the way you your thought patterns but like you tend to really really hyper fixate when it comes to medical

anxiety especially that stuff that's why like mean, it's funny between us, but when you have a question about colonoscopy, say for instance, and you will not stop until you get an answer. Yeah. And so I think that I see that. It's helped me now, at least like to for now, just say like, oh, when those things happen,

when I'm really scared of whatever X is, I'm like, that's not really true, it's my OCD. Like, it's not that I'm just so scared of this one thing, it's like this overall thing I'm dealing with. Also, I wanted to add something to previous conversation about like people saying things about you and you believing them, whatever. Like, I've also had it where the person saying things

is me. And I've had to reach out to friends or therapists and be like, am I this, am I this, am I this? But the source is coming from my own self-hatred. I just wanted to like- That's a hard thing to reprogram. Yeah. That's like the hardest thing.

Because all of those voices are in our head from, and I mean, I feel like especially millennials. The M word is so embarrassing. I just feel like we were raised by like people who were raised by like monsters, you know? So like we, our parents dealt with like discipline. I know I can speak for myself. Like we were, you know, like slapped around

and like very verbal, like we can call it verbal abuse now. But at the time it was just like, those were the, you know, like, slapped around and like, very verbal, like, we can call it verbal abuse now, but at the time, it was just like, those were the, you know, it's like all the things that you see on Instagram. It's why, like, I'm getting all this shit published. It's like, oh, how you speak to your children is like becomes their inner voice. And so it's something that we have to be very cognizant of, like me as a parent, because there's plenty of times I mean, I'm raising an 11 year old son, there's plenty of times where I just wanna call him a fucking idiot,

because he's acting like one. But it's, you know, all those pathways, they like, just like water creates grooves, all those pathways are very strong in our brains. So yeah, when you're talking to yourself, and however you got used to, I don't know, the millennial you just brought up, the disordered Y2K diet,

that's forever gonna live in our bodies. It'll never go away. Esther, I wanted to quickly go back to the OCD thing. I feel like there's a misconception that OCD is like what Lena Dunham was in Girls with the tooth. But I found out that you can have OCD of the brain and I got was in Girls with like the tooth, but I found out that you can have OCD of the brain and I got diagnosed with it.

I didn't know that and then I went on Prozac and my life was so much better, but there's a misconception I think about what OCD is for us. I agree, it's because it's one of what it has been, how it's been depicted in TV and film is like, you have to flip the light switch seven times. And that's why when my therapist said it,

I was like, I know I don't have that. But then as we started to like lay out some things, I was like, oh, actually, yeah, that's adding up for me. That's adding up. I wonder if people who are like very superstitious, if that counts as like an OCD thing. It does, right? Cause like,

Mm. Cause if this happens, this happens kind of thing. Like if I don't throw this towel away, then this bad thing is gonna happen. But is that more OCD personality, like OCDP? I thought that was the difference. Lily, what's the difference? So there's, I think there's like the OCD personality,

which is like the actions. I could be wrong, cause I've also just learned this on like a podcast. But I thought that it was like the actions are like, if you do the actions, but it isn't actually like living in your head space. Like if there's something that you do, it's like, okay, yes, OCD personality, you have to have your things

like a certain type of way, but it doesn't actually mean that you have OCD like here. Another societal thing about it that has made it seem like it's so not a big deal is it's very commonly used in conversation of like, oh, my OCD can't handle, it has to be organized. Right. And to me, I've interpreted that as like, it's just about people who are neat freaks. Sure, yeah.

And it's like a casual, not, I don't know. It's just like a- Like everybody has it. Yeah. Like the lucky ones do. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's also the problem with like online pop psychology is that we're learning

all of these terms like gaslight, narcissist, OCD, trauma. And we just use it so flippantly. And we're not using it with like any kind of consideration for what the words really mean and you're right it kind of waters it down to the point where you're like no like it's just an everyday way to describe a person yeah and it's that's that's insane because narcissism is a real scary dark thing that people really have and are. And gaslighting because someone tells you no doesn't mean you're being gaslit. You know, like that's crazy now.

Like I feel gaslit. It's like how I literally just said no. Like no that's and and so it's just being overused and used in all the wrong ways. So it's hard to comb through like what it really is. Like for example, like yeah, you probably have OCD. Like one of my behaviors that like helped me like sort of connect the dots is like, especially recently, like my anxiety has been such a high,

like I will have to like drop everything I'm doing and leave the room to privately like Google something that I'm scared about. Like I have to like an obsessive, like and then can just don't wanna do anything else but like read, read, read. And I wouldn't have connected that to being OCD, but through talking about it with my therapist,

I'm like, yeah, that's not normal. That's weird. That's obsessive. Yeah, that's not normal. That's weird. That's obsessive. Yeah, it's obsessive. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking weird. Yeah, and I think people who go down like hour long rabbit holes have that, you know.

Yeah, but that's another thing where you're just like, oh, everyone likes to like go on rabbit holes and you think it's like not a big deal. You know why? Because we've overused the word rabbit hole. Like everything is just, it's all these buzzwords, like kind of like, like I feel like there's a danger in that. There is because it's like, I'm doing all this crazy shit

and I'm like, haha, it's just an enormous, I'm a normal girl on the internet, but like it's not normal, it's not healthy. And the more that I'm able to learn that this behavior is hurting me, then I can recognize it and cut it off and start to learn and grow. But if I'm going blindly about it,

it's no big deal, I'm not gonna figure it out. Do you guys wanna talk about something happy? I know, this was a heavy one. What's your favorite fragrance? I'm trying not to do fragrances. Me neither, I was excited to tell you Tide was my favorite. Tide.

What's this other one? Suavitel? Suavitel? That's like from the bodega. I know, right? Yeah. That's my favorite fragrance. Really?

Yeah, like full on petrochemicals. We don't have to talk about something happy because it's the holiday season and people will find their happiness elsewhere today Is this our Christmas episode? No, but the season. Oh Yeah, also, I mean to bring it back do you get sad during the holidays? So bring it back to your sadness, Jules Cuz I do birthdays I get really sad but holidays. no, they're always fun.

What's your zodiac? Scorpio. Scorpio. A week apart. This holiday season, let me see, we're doing something different in our family. Sounds fun already. I look so serious with my hands like this.

I think we've always had like wilder, funner, extreme like parties with games and parlor games. I think this year we're going to like tone it down, right? Yeah, calm. And I think mostly because it's like it gets expensive and let's just like save money. Less decorations at the... OK, this is where I disagree. it's like, it gets expensive and let's just like save money. Less decorations at the...

Okay, this is where I disagree. Jules' first Christmas in the United States, I bought three Christmas trees and I made her... She went crazy. I just realized this was here. I know, I was immune to it. How beautiful. I didn't notice. You said Christmas tree and it was like me

I want you guys to know that Christmas is The Filipino Super Bowl. Yeah, nothing else matters Christmas for us starts in we call it the burr months So once it hits September Everyone's like guys. It's a burr month But that's a lie because truly, we have all our Christmas trees up by July. If you go to any mall in the Philippines, really, all the Christmas decor is up by mid-year.

And you guys aren't over it by Christmas? No, never. It makes us happy. Like there's just singing, hearing Nat King Cole, Mariah Carey, any type of Christmas. Do you decorate? I don't really do much, but my mom, I go home for the tree that my mom puts up,

but it is fake, because we all have allergies. That's okay, I'm into the fake trees. That is a really good point, they have spores and mold. But this is, this is a very, I'm very, I don't know what's gonna happen for Christmas this year because Dave told me that Ace is Jewish. That's my daughter. And so I don't know what to do.

Maybe we'll have to leave her outside when I open my presents. Yeah. I don't know. Hanukkah, Hanukkah, are you Jewish? I'm half and half. Did you grow up celebrating Christmas? We did like a little both. Then do that, that's cool.

But Dave is like, he says it's weird to him. Oh, he's more Jewish than you. Yeah, he's real full Jewish. He's the real thing. Yeah, but I'm like, I need to like somehow sneak a picture with Santa and Ace. She needs it. Every year do a sneaky little.

Yeah. Yeah. She needs to meet Santa. Does Christmas feel or mean something else to you when you have kids? Yeah. Does it take on like a new meaning, a new excitement? I grew up not loving Christmas

because I couldn't like trust my parents to like get it right. What was right? Like get me what I asked for. Got the catalog, circle your gift, circle what you want. And I'd be like, you sure? And I'd circle it and they wouldn't. Did you write this?

I was like an unwrapper too. I'd like unwrap it because it would be there before Christmas. I'd unwrap it and then I'd be like, I said I didn't want the Casio. You know? I was an ungrateful little fucker. Me too. I was so bad and ungrateful.

But to be fair, I asked for Uggs and I got an Ugg hat. That's obviously a misfire. Wow, they really missed the mark. And I was not wrong to throw an extreme fit over that. Looking back at the tapes, even though it was a horrible, horrible things I said, I was right. They're like, this is gonna fucking blow her socks off

when she opens this. That is such, that is so- But I love Christmas now. Insulting to ask for Uggs, which they're only known for one thing. Yeah, hats. Hats, apparently. Although I will say, like one of my favorite comforters,

I said it, comforter. Like sheet comforters in bed is by Ugg. Really? Yeah. My dad too. I will say now that if I had that original Ugg hat today, I would be happy. I wish I had it, but I think it got returned.

How did you throw a fit? Like paint a picture for us. I can't, you'll have to ask my mom. I know you guys text. I know. You can ask her. Oh yeah, you know I texted your mom yesterday. I know she told me, I was like, wow.

I was like, you're a lucky lady, mom. She said some really nice things, like I'm really sad about your face. I'm like, oh, thank you. Everyone's trying to tell me like, no, it's not that bad. She's like the first person to be like, I'm really sad oh, thank you. Everyone's trying to tell me like, no, it's not that bad. She's like the first person to be like, I'm really sad about your face.

So I'm like, oh, I feel validated. I was the second. You were the second person this morning. You were like, wow, it's actually worse than I thought. Why do I not see it? Like, I'm not lying to you. I don't notice it, but. Thank you.

I don't. It looks But thank you. I don't It looks so much better. That's why yeah, it looked insane, right? Yeah, it didn't say like the first week Yeah, I was crazy. I think I didn't want to believe it and we like facetimed and I was like, uh-uh Yeah, and then today you were like, wow, yeah your face is. Still so beautiful. Thank you. Did you guys have the best lips? It's not fair. Don't they have their lips? Yeah. But you guys, shut up.

Just accept it. Both of you, just shut up. Yeah, both of you shut up. Both of you. Just say thank you. Let's end the fucking show. Yeah. I hate this shit.

Sluggies, thank you so much for listening. And Meg, where can people find you? Do you exist online? I do. Where do we go? On Instagram. On Instagram, megababe4.0. And I teach a cycling class in Whittier.

Oh my gosh. So if you're in the LA outskirts in Whittier, it's called Drip Cycle. She really is an incredible instructor. I highly recommend taking her class. I've never been fitter and hotter than when I was taking her class. I miss I know it's been a while but oh and are you selling those hats? I am I'm selling little trucker hats. I took it off when we got serious. That was wise. Yeah I felt like a not a hat moment but it says it just says mega babe what do I look? That's cute. Oh my gosh. Mega babe hats. Thank you for being here and

thank you Jules for being here and everyone will find you at Rudy Jules on Instagram. And that's it right Kalyla?la? Yeah, Jules, I really, really honestly, I love that you got vulnerable on the show. Sorry I was crying. Don't be sorry. Apologize. We cried last episode. Real emotion.

Oh, so much. Me, Jenna, and Esther straight up just cried on this couch. It's okay. It's like, my whole life, when you cry, they're like, oh, cry baby. It's like, yeah, that's what the fuck I am. I cry. I'm human, things hurt like, oh cry baby. It's like, yeah, that's what the fuck I am. I cry. I'm human, things hurt me, I cry.

What is that? You guys, the episode with- The hot Korean guy dumbfounded? He's so hot. Everyone thinks that. Jenna said too. He said Korean kink and I was like, is that a thing?

Cause I have that. Korean kink. Yeah, big time. You have Korean- Remember Master Kim? You do have crushes on Korean guys. And my oral surgeon. Korean too. Wait, master Kim you do have crushes on Korean guys and my oral surgeon Korean to wait. Is it okay to have crushes within the marriage, right? That's totally not at the menu What did you have an oral surgeon for? I got my wisdom teeth pulled awake. Oh

I know I have a king for pain too. No, I don't I don't but I wanted to be awake Thank you to our guests, Megan and Jules. And we love you, Sluggies. We hope you're having an amazing December. And we'll see you, as always, next week with a brand new episode. You guys, stay sensitive and happy holidays. Stay sensitive out there.

Yes, feel your feelings. Yeah, go to therapy.