TRASHFUTURE - 12 Huels for Life ft. Nelufar Hedayat
Episode Date: July 3, 2018Riley (@raaleh), Hussein (@HKesvani), and Milo (@Milo_Edwards) hosted documentary filmmaker Nelufar Hedayat (@nelufar) to discuss superfoods, Silicon Valley’s attempts at engineering future meals, N...elufar’s recent series ‘Food Exposed’, and the life and times of a food legend known as David Avocado Wolfe. We also get a Russia update from Milo, and a stern lecture on Charles Dickens. You can commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from http://www.lilcomrade.com/, and if you had any doubts about whether or not tech will save us, you can answer them with this tote: http://www.lilcomrade.com/product/tech-won-t-save-us-tote-bag Nate (@inthesedeserts) produced this from Brooklyn, where the current temperatures are near 35°C and everyone is too weary to be walkin’ here.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Do you think the people who named you or aware of how much like gruel it
sounds? Heel and how much it looks like gruel as well? What did you have this
morning? Yeah, the hue.
Can I never have any more of that?
I mean, I really do like the idea of Oliver Twist in his in his in his
orphanage, you know, going up to Mr Fagan or in this case, Bill, the CFO
and me up. Please, sir. Can I have some more? And it's like, yeah, of course you can. Just
put in an hour on the economic climbing wall. It's like the controller of the
workhouse. Fagan is the is the pickpocket leader. You seem to know an awful lot about
the workhouses and pickpockets for a supposedly. Don't come at me, Chang,
shit about Oliver Twist. You don't know shit about Oliver Twist. Okay, listen,
I don't know what I've got myself into, but this is not the podcast I was promised.
This is the arguing about correct textual references to Charles Dickens podcast.
Important, I admit, but do we need to start off fighting about it, gentlemen?
I will leave you with that theme song.
Hello and welcome back again to trash future. A podcast I'm going to introduce
differently from now on. I'm Riley. You can find me on Twitter at Raleigh. It's
still a bad name. Who do I got here with me? It's Hussein at age Kizvani.
Were we not supposed to start the show off about like Russia and football?
Oh, yeah. Milo, you're on this one. How's Russia?
Hi, my name is Milo Edwards at Milo underscore Edwards on Twitter. You may remember me from
almost every previous episode of this podcast is sweltering hot in Russia and my internet
connection is bad, but we're going to do this. Oh, and it's my last day snaps for me.
Well, more about you, Milo. What the fuck am I doing here?
Welcome to the Milo Edwards cast. Milo Edwards fancast.
It's helpful that you're funny. So that's fine. I will listen to you. Go on.
You were saying it's sweltering hot. This is for the real Oliver Twist heads.
They only tune in for me.
Real twist heads. Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm Nelofahediat. I'm a broadcaster and filmmaker
and I kind of gallivant around the world, trying to tell stories wherever I find them.
Sorry, this is a no gallivanting show much like right now with the Charles Dickens.
I just wanted to appease RRK language fans out there. I don't want them to kind of think we're
not, you know, we're not on their side around the world. Do you like, you know, I gallivant
you're there for a purpose. I gallivant or I meander or I might just kind of like
anyway, we've taken this. I sat around the world traveling around the world to two cities,
which, whilst they're near each other, are experiencing rather different turns of fortune.
I mean, the meta narrative levels in this podcast, I cannot keep up. I cannot. It's just,
it's Dickensian, frankly. It's Dickensian. It's frankly Dickish of this dick. Dickish being a
short for Dickensian ish. Our other host is actually a very sweet crippled boy,
but he couldn't make it here today. All I can think of right now is like an Oliver
twist reboot, which stars post Malone as like Fagan. I cannot even always stealing.
Yo, I would totally get it. I totally get SoundCloud rapper style face tattoos.
I'd be I'd be like to cash a six pence.
Workhouse Chief Keef. Yo, yo, yo.
I was going to say, what would Lil Zan be?
Oh, Lil Opium, of course. No, of course. It's 2018.
You're Lil Opium out here with some emotional rap.
With some really like just like the right amount of trashy clothing and jewelry.
Well, I'd be big, but like just as SoundCloud rapper is quite frequently gender-bend. I would
have lots of like whalebone corsets. Naturally. Obviously. Yes.
Silks, organza, wrapped in organza with like an amazing hairpiece. Just constantly just
fucked up on Opium, like spitting spitting bars about like tragically beautiful. Yeah, obviously.
This is the best Oliver Twist reboot I could imagine.
It's Oliver Twist, but spelled T-W-I-Z-T.
Oliver Twisted. I can't.
Oliver, Oliver Tring, Tiny Timper.
It will be a fucking hoot.
But do you know, like, do you know, like the consequence of doing something like Oliver
Twisted is that you have to bring on Jared Leto. That's the law now, right?
That's the law. So somehow like Jared Leto would like play.
Yeah, but don't say that. Like, I will watch things just because he's in there.
I am that shallow and I don't give a fuck. I am that person.
I don't care. But the thing is, like, you know, people, people, like,
cool-ass people who take their cues from the Joker, especially the Super Twisted Jared Leto
Joker, like they see people who are shallow like you and are just like, you know what,
somehow society is going to go to the very weird and then they do big threads about how
gamers aren't going to vote for the Democrats anymore. I can't even spend my time thinking
about this. Hey, Tim, you know how I got these sumptuous Christmas geese while I worked on them?
I wasn't crippled. Now go home and cry.
Yo, Milo, how's it going in Russia?
Yeah. So last night, we finally settled the eternal question that had been, you know,
playing on everyone's minds. Who are the greatest footballing nation on earth, Spain or Russia?
And it turned out that it's Russia because the Russians won on a penalty shootout, which,
as we know, is the best way to win a game of football in the World Cup. And to be fair to them,
like, they played quite well. It was quite a nail-biting end. I just happened to be on
Tuskia, which is like Moscow's equivalent of Oxford Street, when they won. And I have never
seen such madness in all my life. Like, I think the Russians are so unused to winning anything
that when they do win something, it is like a fucking fury road type shit. People started
blocking the entire road with their cars and honking football chants on their horns, which the
police joined in with. And there were people running up and down the street with flags and
shit. This then continued for like eight hours. The whole city was gridlocked by celebrations
for eight hours. About 10 o'clock, I was walking down a street, like, not even in the very centre,
like kind of like equivalent sort of zone two. And I walked past, there's a street completely
gridlocked again with just people like windows downing shit in their cars, people running around
with flags chanting Gracia. And one guy had just leaned out of the window of his apartment.
And with like real uncertainty in his own voice, like he knew it wouldn't do anything,
just when some of us are trying to sleep. And that guy is the biggest mood.
No, that guy's the biggest cock in Russia. That guy's actually me. So it's fine.
I'm sorry we're here while you're trying to sleep. Can you keep it down? I've had my
heel intake for the day. And I just, I just need to nap it off. He is Russian Scrooge. Yeah,
yeah, I see it. Oh my God. Someone's taken him as Sumptuous Christmas goose. Some of us have to
queue up for this Sumptuous Christmas bread. So no, the tank saved our ration cards all year long
to queue up for in 20 hours to get this Sumptuous Christmas goose. No, we have to stop this or
all the tankies that listen to us are going to get mad. He's just to enjoy the holiday. Wait,
if everyone who has ever listened to your show is not already mad at this point,
they have not been paying attention. Oh, good. Excellent. So anyway,
that's the that's the Dickens update, the Russia update that we do at the beginning
of every show, of course. Yes. This podcast was actually originally serialized in a newspaper.
I've largely given up. I've largely given up doing the normal intro. I like this one better
because this one's not a tongue twister. Yes.
So I'm going to keep doing this one forever. I love it. It's going to go on.
So, Nelifar, are you talking about food? I do. I do. Well, you talk about a lot of stuff. Yeah.
So this is so I've been doing this for 10 years now. I'm super old. Like if you have ever googled
me or if you ever end up googling me, I look like a 15 year old sort of cherubish boy.
You are wearing a Mickey Mouse t-shirt. Don't judge me for my thrifted, super
amazing Californian purchased LA trashy t-shirt. Do not judge.
Pedophiles at home, cranking up their radio sense.
You dropped out at the most unfortunate moment. So I don't actually know what I am at this point.
What the bottom of that joke was. Chef kiss.
No, I did end up making films about food, but that's not why I made them. I didn't
initially start off thinking, I can take on the best Nigerians. I can do this.
It was meant to be sort of about other things that I care about. And this was kind of
a way, a conduit, like through the proxy of food that I was going to get to talk about them.
Because it's very hard to make films about the kind of stuff that I want to make
on a commercial channel and be like, yeah, I really want to make a film about capitalism.
They're like, no, why don't you make a film about, and this is genuinely honest to God
true, like surfing. What are your feelings on surfing? It's like, I've never touched a surfboard.
So to kind of make the films that I want to make, I have to find a way of doing it.
Get a sneaker man. Sneaker is like education.
We find it's way easier to make media about capitalism if you do a podcast and no one's
investing in you anyway. Oh, I love that. The irony is beautiful.
Yeah. Also, you have to use a lot of irony. Yes, quite irony and like thumb references.
Yeah. I swear to God, if you say fucking first thing about coffee, I will fucking kick you
off this show. Sneaking it. Sneaking it references to like SpongeBob Squarepants.
I mean, you really feel very strongly about the popular soup known as coffee.
Fuck you, Milo. Fuck you. I'm replacing you with a fish.
But yeah, like foods, like we found like food is a really interesting
way of like talking about things. And it also seems to be something that's like really sort
of neglected even though food is like this really big part of our culture, especially now.
So it was like a really great documentary series and you can watch the foods off on YouTube.
You've got a Netflix series as well. Or is the series that is on now on Netflix?
Yeah. So it's been doing the rounds. It's just been released in the UK. It's available in the
States, Canada, most of the Middle East, India, South Africa. So it's pretty much everywhere
that there might be a Netflix. You're likely to get it. So not in Russia?
Hey, we'll know in a minute. Milo, get, get Googling. Whatever like Russian Google is.
Search on Yandex. I mean, I don't know.
Oh yeah, Riley's remembered Yandex. I don't trust people who use Yandex though. They're like people
in the West who use Bing. Everyone here uses Google because people are normal.
A lot of Bing content today in my day-to-day life.
I miss Bing. No, but your, your series, Food Exposed,
is been released through Fusion TV. Where do you want people to find it?
I want people to be able to just, I think, go onto the Fusion website, which is fusion.tv,
or just literally Google Food Exposed with Nella Fahidiat. Forget the name because you
can't spell it. I promise you. Just, just typing food exposed and it will come up.
I don't care if you watch it legally or illegally. I mean, I don't. That's not my,
my job is to kind of like present a bunch of stuff. Expose some foods. Some food stuffs.
Yeah. And like a purely sexual way. Obviously. It's mostly about courgettes.
Completely. The fake milkshake, but the food.
Courgettes and places you'd never think maybe. The fake milkshake.
Yes. You can't call me, you can't even call it milkshake anymore. You have to call it a
beverage. Did you guys hear about this? They've, they've been passing sort of laws that,
the milk beverage. Yeah. You can't call it milk. You can't. It's
against the rules. It was too sexualized by Achilles.
Yes. I mean, we all remember that. Yeah. You have to call it a milk beverage duck now.
I know. I know. Um, no, so it's
basically me bathing in milk and like really like sensual.
It's like a Cleopatra. Oh, completely. Yeah.
It's a clear at the end. You're bitten by an ass. It's great.
You're erotically bitten by an ass. It's fantastic.
I'm not going to say no to it.
I enjoyed that reference.
No, but, um, so have you actually ever had to try any of this stupid ass,
like Silicon Valley food, like fuel?
I spent an entire day, um, at this kind of food technology center and these guys are
super Silicon Valley. I mean, I just, I feel like the animosity,
wifting this way, wafting this way in the room. It's palpable. No, like this entire day spent
with, um, Silicon Valley folk who are engineering what's going to be hot in 2020.
I mean, that's how far advanced they work, right? So they already takes it that long.
Wait, no, all levels of humor, ladies and gentlemen, all levels of humor.
For some reason, I just thought that 2020 was in 20 years.
I'm just really dumb.
It's the year 2000. What the fuck?
Bake at 103 for two years.
And then you have a sumptuous Christmas goose.
Yeah. So we went, we went to these kind of like super, um, techie places where they are designing
most of our food. And I use the word designed deliberately because they literally sit there
and decide what it is that's going to be trendy. What is going to be, um, kind of the it thing,
because food is in a way one of the most, um, it's a unifier, right? Whatever you are,
you still got to eat. And we congregate around food. We celebrate around food. We, we, um,
kind of, um, do all sorts of human behavior and human activities around food. So it was one of the
easiest ways for me to get into spaces and speak to people. But this, uh, Silicon Valley place
that we went to, um, they were kind of like trying to turn carrots to taste meaty and they were
kind of like dehydrating them and then refree, it was just very, it's not what you associate
with the food that you eat, but majority of the food that we eat is produced in places like that.
Um, one of my friends, Brent Rose, um, who's a tech writer for Wired and all sorts of other
magazines, um, tried powdered alcohol. Um, and actually it was an absolute failure,
A, because he had a really, he snorted it, right? So he ended up having an incredibly,
like the sore nose to actual getting drunk ratio just wasn't the right proportions for him.
So he was just super sober with like a terrible, like themed nose. Um,
but that kind of stuff is, is common. They're trying to find novel ways of presenting,
presenting us things that we, we should know how to do, which is like eat, right?
And that's that kind of, that kind of segues into one of the two kind of key things that you
touched on in, in the series that I kind of want to think about, which is sort of, well,
the first one is, is the super food sort of utter insanity that appears to be gripping,
you know, much of the, um, the Brooklyn and East London bits of the world. Oh God. I mean,
is that it really? I think it's, it's, it's everywhere. I asked the two genders,
rightly it's that there is, there is this kind of universal mania of people sort of seem to be
falling over themselves to sort of, you know, give someone, I remember that there's a very
telling scene in your documentary where you've, you've sort of, you've gone into a shop to sort
of see if you can get the same quantities of vitamins from, um, from superfoods as someone
else can from a normal shop and well. Well, I went with a nutritionist, right? And she's,
she's kind of, um, on the fringes of, of the community because she refuses to, to follow
the superfoods trend. Okay. So the basic premise of a superfood is that it can give you stuff that
your body needs, but it can give you vast quantities of it and it can give you an array of them. So
avocados, kale, uh, guji berries, we're told, told that all of these kinds of foods
are going to make us better people. Um, better looking, better health wise, better, it can make
you mentally and spiritually better, better off. Um, but what kind of goes along with that and
it's unsaid is it's going to make you poorer. Cause these things are fucking expensive. Just
mean, have you ever, have you tried to buy guji berries recently, Riley? Recently, no. No, of course
I haven't. No, I'm, I told you, I'm a degenerate way to say I need to get laid. I don't believe
that for a second. You don't even buy it from Whole Foods. I bet there's like a little organic
place down the road that you pop off. Okay. There was this one girl. She was on a real berry thing.
All right. She was really hot. Milo, is that supposed to be me? Yes. No, I, as, as, as, as you
know, I spend all of my money on shit that's going to kill me. Well, guji berries and I'm joking.
But these kinds of like the claims are astonishing. You know, they're going to revitalize. They're
going to rejuvenate. They're going to make you think sharper and your skin, your, your acne or
your man acne or whatever it is, is going to disappear and you're going to get that girl and
that job done. I mean, it's, it's actually, it's like that, that's, you know, that's the first
scene of Trainspotting. You just think you're going to kind of like make it, you know, this thing
is going to give you everything you need. And actually it's all a facade. So I went in with
the nutritionist and I have to say, I am that wanker. All right. I'm going to come clean. I'm
going to call it like it is. I am that wanker that goes into Whole Foods and buys guji berries for
£14.99. It's not even enough to make a goddamn smoothie because I want to believe it.
Yeah. I mean, I only eat gucci berries because I'm all about eating a large quantity of vitamin
A. Exactly. Yes. And all of the antioxidants and all that. The only vitamin, the only vitamin there
is. Yeah. You see, you hear antioxidants kind of say, Oh, well, yes, this has a lot of antioxidants.
We have a garlic pill. We have an acai smoothie. We have sort of, and we're going to sort of sell you,
you know, I don't know, 100 grams of a dried berry for $14. And it's your, it always strikes me,
it's a sort of edible self-help. Yeah. But it's internalizing that insecurity, right? So what
happens is you end up buying these things and A, you Instagram it the minute you buy it because
you want to be that girl with that perfect acai berry at 7.35 in the morning. How the fuck,
Stacey, how did you get up that early to make that bowl of acai? I want to know, Stacey. I want to know.
But either way, like it's, it's this kind of like, Stacey's bowl has got it going on. But where does she
find the time? The non-committal song parody. Russia's broken it. There's only like one
superfood in Russia, right? And that's dill. Oh, fuck. Dill's so bad. They put it in everything.
You want to cheap superfood, dill. The only reason they eat it is that it grows like a literal weed
anywhere. It's like, it's like if people in England just put stinging nettles in everything,
including foreign food. Like if I went to Brick Lane and I was served a curry with
fucking stinging nettles on top of it. And I was like, why is this? And they were like,
it's good for you. And I'd be like, no. It's, we eat it back home.
I have had pasta carbonara and the Russian curry houses in Brick Lane.
It's infamous. But the point was this, I walked, I genuinely didn't expect it to be,
you know, a lot of the stuff that we do is TV magic. But I genuinely didn't expect to walk in
there and walk out and be quiet. I feel quite as silly as I did in the end. She made me,
the nutritionist genuinely made me feel like you've bought into a hype.
And when you, when you, when you're confronted with that, it's, it's, it's quite,
because I think of myself as a super woke person. I'm aware. I listen to the news.
You woke up at 735 and made that smoothie.
How did you, Stacey? I still want to know. Fucking Stacey. But the point is, is, is the,
these kind of like, and so I went and bought like a bunch of kale and she bought some spinach.
I went and bought guji berries. She literally bought carrots and they do the same thing,
but they just don't give you that, that hit, you know, they don't, they don't give you that thing
you need in your head to make yourself believe that you're a better person.
I think, I think a lot of these sort of Anglo-American upper class has a kind of brain
sickness where they, because ultimately American Protestants are all Calvinists and American
Capitalists are all Calvinists and they have this insecurity that they're somehow not getting
ahead in some way. They're not damned. They're literally never going to be,
that they're not doing everything they possibly can to be as perfect and special and beautiful
and giving themselves as much edge as possible. And so it's almost like a way of alleviating
your insecurity about your own status as a worthwhile person is the, well, no, I've got,
I'm, I'm crushing up my own guji berries in like a stone mortar and pestle and then I'm doing,
you know, an hour of yoga while drinking it in the morning and that makes me better than all
the pores who are, you know, having a fucking hash brown.
Nettle suit, bruv. That's what they mean.
I could just do what we did and start a podcast.
But I think it's like a lot of like human insecurity that comes behind that as well.
It's not just a matter of like, you know, putting one, like, you know, trying to one up someone
else. It's also about trying to feel better about yourself and for the most part through
like consumption. One of the scenes that was cut, you know, we end up shooting about 160 hours
and we turn it into 47 minutes. A lot of stuff gets cut. So one of the things that got cut was
a scene we shot not too far from here with a young woman who has orthorexia in the caliphate of
Tower Hamlet. You get quite jazakala. You know, the 1979 revolution is alive and well.
I believe in it. I cherish it. It's in me.
Um, but go green revolution. But it is this, this orthorexia is what becomes the problem.
So orthorexia is an illness and eating disorder where you only eat things that you perceive to be
healthy. And some of the people that I met at the clinic, um, they had a combination of sort of
bulimia and orthorexia or, um, they had anxiety. They had lots of kind of issues, but it all
circled around this thing. This need to be pure and innocent and healthy and, um, you know,
straight edge and all of this kind of thing was kind of like amalgamating in this, in this thing
that was killing them, this illness that was killing them. And that's where the, that's where
the end game is. Like if you're not careful about this sort of stuff, preaching this sort of stuff.
Yeah. Because there is, and that's the thing that's, there is this kind of belief, I think,
among the clean eaters, the Instagram superfooders and so on, not just that, and there's this,
there's this combination. There is this, and this one sense they're running from being like
everybody else, but in the other sense, they're running to a sort of imagined salvation, right,
from all of the filthy sort of ugliness of majority. They're sort of genuinely think I,
and I, and it took me a little while to come to this. Um, I genuinely believe food is such a
personal fucking thing, right? Whether we do it publicly or with, or with by ourselves,
it's such an inherently personal thing. Um, that when you start to develop a problem or
I mean, it, it, it becomes us in so many ways, psychologically, sociologically. Um, and to a
large extent, I agree with you. I think, I think it does come to a point where you're,
you're eating all of those feelings that, that self-hate that, um, insecurity. And then you're
churning out all these images that we get on insta of these perfect bodies and these
yogi mums and these amazing SAE bowls. It's, it's essentially just marketing.
It's a multi trillion dollar business, you know, that first publicist that got Beyonce
to wear that kale t-shirt, she nailed it. She knew it had nothing to do with nutritional value
and it had everything to do with being aspirational. And that's, that's, I mean,
I've been sort of thinking about this for a couple of days, right? Like,
um, if I, I'm just going to, I'm going to steer the ship of state just a little bit
toward Marx for a moment. I'm shocked. I wasn't expecting this talking about like this, like
all day. So we're like, look, if you think of like the most basic unit of economic exchange,
it goes money, commodity money, but with, especially with the superfoods, it feels like
the commodity is just, it's, it's shrinking and shrinking and shrinking. The actual use value
of the commodity is shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and it's sort of imagined. It's feta,
it's fetishized status. It's kind of growing and growing and growing. And so it feels like
increasingly this is this sort of weird adrenaline fuel, just M M exchange for the tiny little C
in the middle, in the middle of it. It's even more insidious fueled, please. Oh, I'm sorry,
I beg your pardon. It's, it's even more insidious than that. It's kind of, it's got to the point now
where, um, I think society as ever kind of is more reactionary than it is anything else. So
we've gone through the stage in the, in the 80s, 90s and early noughties where we were eating
shitloads of wheat hoes. We were going out and cheap was good. So the more food we can get in
our buckets, the more food we can get on our plates. It was a sign of prosperity and China's
going through that the moment. One of the episodes you haven't seen because it hasn't aired yet.
It's an exclusive episode. It's the pork episode. Um, I went to China for that, Hong Kong, North
Carolina, um, to see exactly where kind of food politics becomes, becomes an issue of ideology.
But to your point, it is this frenzy. We're so sick of what we have become these fat, obese
bastards that this is our way of dealing with that self-hate. That's dialectics, baby.
I mean, there's also like a class component and I guess we like sort of alluded to that, right?
Which is, and as you kind of say, like you can afford to make those kind of self-loathing decisions
if you're wealthy enough to do it, right? And I feel that it's like, so that kind of is
really at the center of like our national conversation around food anyway.
Um, you know, like fat people are meant to, made to feel ugly and stupid and thick.
Yeah. That's where we are now in our society. Oh no, not, not thick girls and I'm saying.
But you know, they're also like, you know, their choices are like, you know,
economically limited, but they're also blamed for that. So they're basically, you know,
so they're basically told that because of your failure, because like your failure when it comes
to like your food, your failure when it comes to everything else and vice versa, it's like this
kind of very strange, very kind of sinister trap.
Did you get this from my doc?
God damn.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm doing a good job.
He taught me some stuff, but bear in mind that like really the only thing that I tend to watch
is like SpongeBob SquarePants.
It's fine. I understand. I'm glad you made the exception.
And of course, SpongeBob SquarePants, the original Japanese edition,
where SpongeBob is one of three children destined to save humanity by piloting a
giant mech made of his mother to fight angels.
Yeah. But like if it seemed like that seemed to like really be a point that hits home,
but also one that's kind of reinforced, that's been reinforced so much in our political culture is
like basically since the new labor years, right? Probably before, but like obviously like a moment
that I can like that most of our generation can recognize. I feel like this is where we are at
the moment is sort of like a perversion of that where you've just basically gone to extremes.
No, it's not a matter of like, oh, you know, you go and buy porridge, for example, rather than
we sows. It's like, you know, you go buy like stuff, you know, you go buy stuff and you can make
stuff you can buy like overnight oats with or, you know, acai berries or goji berries or just like
all these kinds of things that you can only get from fucking Whole Foods, right? Like like loads
of these berries and stuff, like you can only really get from a Whole Foods, not like even a big
supermarket nearby. I mean, you know, thank God, like it's at least only the rich are being foisted
on. But imagine being that mother of three working two jobs, trying to do the best for
your kids. And you know, you can't afford those fucking goji berries, right? Imagine that guilt,
that trauma that's brought on on you. So it's, it's this incredibly multi-led, multifaceted issue
when we talk about this, this commodification of food rather than food is sustenance rather than
food stuff. Strange value rather than use value, baby. The solution, the solution is obvious.
Two for one goji berry pizzas. Problem solved. Next.
My man prefiguring.
Hell yeah.
Four shadowing.
I'm out here. I'm out here just throwing ideas wild.
You're out here almost indicating that we're about to be talking about Jamie Oliver's
ridiculous pizza plan at some point, Milo. Eva Bauer, he's going to move back to London and
he's going to set up like a food store in Columbia Road Market.
But I am the idiot that will go to a goji berry pizza joint.
Any unethical entrepreneurs listening to our Marxist podcast, you have your first customer.
I am. I am the perfect consumer. I think that that kind of gets gets into something,
though, especially this point about new labor is that under new labor, you know, every, every
per it's. It was everyone got T for one piece. Everyone got it. They didn't have,
they didn't have a problem with that. People getting rid two for one pizza,
right, because it was it was wrong to say that right. Do you remember, but I think in
new labor, there was this process started where
of just intense like individualization, commodification, sort of people became their
own businesses almost and that you had to then optimize yourself or you were going to get an
asbo or you were going to get like allowed to fail downward or you were going to be
sort of just, you know, quite simply ignored. It was a kind of brutalization of society that
I think has brought about, especially in England and the are UK really that sort of brought about
this sort of we sort of forget there are social pressures and we just sort of think of everyone
as kind of these autonomous individuals bouncing around sort of making choices based on you
may be imperfect information and that's where you get the point of view of England's dumbest
celebrity chef.
I mean, there are a lot of contenders. I mean, tennis says it's Nigella.
Tenna says it's Nigella. Come on. Give me that.
Program. It is not okay, man. They're just eggs, man. Put them in the fucking pan. What is wrong
with you, you salacious woman? I mean, Nigella just out there doing coke and eating brownies.
I've got so much time for it. Yeah. And she's making me by like organic fucking wheat grass
to have on the weekends and she's up there like living a life. Do you think it's more damaging
Nigella Lawson or Anthony from Queer Eye? Now, this is a whole podcast by itself.
You can say Anthony Warrell Thompson. That would have been such a great reference.
That piece of actual meat.
I know you're a vegan. So I know you consider that disparaging.
So I massively know exactly that. And also, I think I'm not allowed to say that.
I can't refer to living beings as me. I went to the animal navigation conference at Berkeley.
I think I have to call all living things persons or I get told off by the vegan lobby.
Look at all those people outside. Yeah. On the trees. Those big, those big green leafy people.
Yeah. The trees. No, exactly. But to your point, I think I would probably say Nigella is more
destructive to society. Yes. I cannot cook without feeling the need to wear the push-up bra.
I mean, it's wrong. It's just insensitive Nigella. Stop it.
In terms of, look, she may be one of Britain's most damaging celebrity chefs because she's
making the entire country inexplicably horny all the time. Which, and you know, if I've
learned anything from having lived in Britain for the last sort of seven or eight years,
is that Britain's really need to never be horny or else like just society ends completely. Yeah,
this is a this is this is a country that developed polite nervousness for a reason.
No, I am talking. I'm talking about Jamie Oliver. Jamie Oliver is for those of our listeners who
do not know because we have like half of our audience is American is a British celebrity chef
who's all about food being natural and nice and nutritious and so on, which in theory is fine.
But basically a man who has a lot of missionary sex.
He also still uses the word pucker. I mean, he still uses pucker.
That is an affront to Britishness. It's like 2018.
Get over it. You're not a common person. Okay. You're not one of us. Move on, posh boy.
Yeah. Jamie Oliver is famously very posh. My brother went to school with Jamie Oliver.
Explains it. I mean, that's all we need to say here.
No, no, no. State school though. Not like not a posh school to be fair.
He's a multimillionaire trying to tell mothers that turkey twizzlers are going to like destroy
their child's brain without offering any solutions other than cooking a meal in 15 minutes flat.
He did a lot of pre-preparation there, Jamie. Calm the fuck down, son.
Not everyone has TV fucking magic. Not everyone records 167 hours of dinner and then only produces
47. No, it's that it's essentially the just not bad at my job. The TV. The TV chef has
successfully lobbied Nicola Sturgeon to pledge a ban on two for one pizza deals in Scotland
and other similar multibus promotions. And so the the idea is and by this is an article by
Tristan Cross for shortlist, which is very good. I recommend you read it.
I'm sort of pulling some stuff from it now, but that he basically says that
is but this is his more or less his approach where he imagines society to be basically
individualized and creative individuals making rational choices. And so if you can alter
if you can alter the calculus a little bit, you know, if you can make to make it harder to buy
pizza them, you know, the that single mother of three who's on, you know, dealing with the
universal credit rollout or I guess they're in Scotland. They wouldn't be but that on say JSA
is going to be sort of forced to make their kids a wonderful garden salad with some
affordable vegetables. So two things here. First of all, Jamie Oliver, you could do one,
all right, with that kind of rationality, right? Secondly, we have to understand the way that the
food industrial complex works in order to be able to really interrogate and answer that question.
So when we look at food, oftentimes a lot of people will say like, oh, but KFC buckets are
$9.99. They're so bloody cheap. I need to feed my kids and I haven't got the resources to be able
to cook them that amazing quinoa and beetroot salad. Just mean the problem is that we're
prepaying for that right in the form of subsidies that we offer to any farmer who's willing to make
the dairy and the meat that we consume. Vegetables don't tend to have lobbies. There ain't no carrot
lobby. There ain't no beetroot lobby, but we do have a very, very effective dairy and meat lobby
in Europe. All of our laws come from- Where you at when we need you, the vegans?
About who's me and who isn't. Not lobbying for the carrot. Excuse me, we're too busy like aligning
our chakras to be worried about like getting our hands dirty with actual politics. Have you ever
tried to actually pick the perfect Instagram filter to make it look like you haven't picked a filter?
It's Ludwig. Ludwig is the best one. Ludwig's the best one. Do you know what's the best true for
Asians? This is why it works. Ludwig's the best filter for everything, this universal. But we
have already paid that KFC costing $9.99 is not true. It's not accurate because we have paid
through the teeth in the form of subsidies, in the form of taxation to these industries to subsidize
the cost of the final product that we consume. In fact, that KFC chicken should cost $29.99,
but it doesn't because that's the way our food industrial complex has been designed.
So how in God's green earth, Jamie Oliver thinks that this woman or these people by charging them
more up front for that pizza is going to nudge their behavior in the right direction is absurd.
And it's incredibly classist, which makes sense because it's Jamie Oliver.
Prohibition works incredibly well with drugs. So why won't it work with pizza?
This actually leads me into another people like secretly making pizzas in the Amazon jungle.
Most people actually come from the same Colombian prison, but then actually by the time it gets to
the UK streets, it's mostly flat bread. Yeah, exactly. Completely. I can feel it, you know.
I can feel it. I can feel it when I'm fighting with that side.
No, this brings me to the next bit of this article where Jamie says, you know,
I meet people who say you just don't understand what it's like to be poor. You know, he continues,
I just want to hug them and teleport them to the Sicilian street cleaner who has 25 muscles,
10 cherry tomatoes and a packet of spaghetti for 60 pence and knocks out the most amazing pasta.
Well, I wish I was muscled in the UK. What I ever take a hug from Jamie Oliver,
even if that were the outcome is like is the word that he uses before we were teleporting
was only half Sicilian, so we could only make half the pasta.
It's a lot of bread. That's it. It's it's I can't I can't like this. It is so
incredibly a blinkered view of the idea that there are different, say
national priorities as opposed to different individual priorities. It's like he says,
like you say he takes all of the incentives
that actually exist in the way people prepare food today and he assumes their exogenous.
He's just like, well, I assume everyone's going to have access to a market like that.
I assume everyone's going to live under this same kind of subsidy regime. I assume they're
going to be they're still going to say have a regular job that maybe pays them a decent
minimum wage. They can actually, you know, still afford to purchase all this stuff whenever I
assume they're only going to have one job. So they actually have time to prepare this
admittedly delicious sounding meal. More importantly, I assume that they have a the
know how and be the capabilities in terms of literally like we're talking literally,
do they have the equipment space, the shops nearby? Does there the geography of where they
live afford them the opportunity to walk down the road and pick a few plum cherry tomatoes and
mosey on down to your mozzarella farm and grab a bit of a no fuck's sake. It's Glasgow. Get with
the program. The other thing that I think is really kind of it's such a loaded thing. He's
saying there's so there's so many kind of it's a really, really loaded kind of way to put it.
It's to assume that people will make the right decisions because people think in like a really
linear fashion. And when you show them the right, it's such a righteous, very Calvinistic perspective
that when I show you the right path, surely you'll go and walk on it. No, we're people.
We're people. That's not how it kind of works. It's almost it's almost the same thing with like
that sort of with that orthorexie, right? Where it's like, no, we, we must, we must make the people
moral. You know, we, we have to be a nation that lives in fucking yoga pants. And I will not,
I will not stand for it, sir. They're very, they're very comfortable. I will not stand for it. I
can't believe you guys are gang up on me. Is that the line?
Raleigh and Hussain are just online starts now.
I'm just, I'm posting booty pics now. All the time, like that's because I'm no,
because I'm just basically just doing clean eating. Right?
One of the key things is also that he just blames the individual, right? So he blames like,
you know, as you've kind of said that, you know, the economics of how cheap food works
is quite dark and it's sinister and like, openly like discriminates against the forest
and society. These are the ones that like, in theory, he's trying to reach, right? But
the solution that he's positing is also one that has come out of like successive like
conservative governments since, you know, the Thatcher period, which was all about, you know,
get on your bike and do it yourself. And like, you know, don't know these corporations, you know,
they, they're just like, you know, noble entrepreneurs. And, you know, if you don't,
you know, you should take some responsibility like them so that you too can become a CEO, right?
But it's negating entirely. It's like trying to solve a problem with literally only 2% of,
of, of the actual picture in place. You cannot. This is not the responsibility of individuals,
because we have an industrial food system. We don't, we don't have a subsistence
food system where everyone is allotted and given. It's not Sicily. It's not Sicily.
Ain't nobody got that time.
This is about, it's about, it's about respect.
You bring me this deep fried cigarette pizza. What is this?
You breathe? Where's the salad?
I mean, if I was Jamie Oliver, I would just teach everyone that recipe from the,
the pasta recipe from Goodfellas.
The thing is, poor families today in Scotland,
arts life in the Gaul itself, and it dissolves into the sauce.
They use it too many onions.
Don't put too many onions in the sauce.
Not to bring it back to seriousness here though, but, but what he's doing is a bit,
look, he has a platform. He has the ear of prime ministers and presidents.
He is able to affect change should he want to.
He has the ability to go against these lobby groups, to go against these industrial kind
of farming techniques, to go against factory farming. He doesn't. He chooses to shun all of
that in favor of telling whoever out in Scotland that buying two pizzas at the same time is some
kind of moral wrong. So it's worse than that. If you and I, or anyone of us went out and went
two for our pizzas, fuck them, you fat size, that's one thing. But if we had the ear of the
policymakers, it's kind of more, it makes me sad.
Well, it's because the inherent assumption that Jamie Oliver is making is that
it's kind of, it's better to go hungry than to eat anything but perfectly.
Correct.
So, which makes him exactly the same as like an Instagram influencer, right?
So here's a funny story. Jamie Oliver's official position is let them be ass.
Here's a funny story. So one of the people that I try to speak to on the series,
because the series has got a lot of sort of influential people in it. We spoke to Moby,
we spoke to James Cromwell, who's currently in prison, serving a sentence for his activism.
We spoke to people that I admire, respect and look up to because they take the platform that
they've gained through whatever other means and use it to propagate more useful messages.
Like, hey, maybe it's not the mother of three, maybe it's like the fucking beef lobby.
And these, and one of the people that we really tried to get for the Superfood episode
was Deliciously Ella. Now, I spoke to her people for like a month.
I filled in NDAs on NDAs on NDAs, right? And I really wanted her to be on board because she
had said, I used to eat normal and I had loads of health problems. And then I went vegan or
plant-based, whatever you want to call it. And now I'm, look at me, I have a dog and a boyfriend
and all these pop-up shops. And I've got my own range and whole foods and Planet Organic.
Class had nothing to do with it. It had nothing to do with it.
So look at the accent. Look at the cereal bar. And she, in the last minute, her publicist
literally the day before cancelled. So we had this big hole in our film that she was going to
exactly quite. And when I asked her why, you know, why, why would you cancel? Like,
this is really important. I want you to speak on it. And she said, what her people said to me,
that you're using the word clean eating and orthorexia. And this seems to us to be a film
not about food, but about politics. And I was like, these two things that are completely
different from one another and never overlap. No, but what do you say? What do you say to that?
So I just went, no shit. Like, yes, that is what we've, hysterically, in this very,
very kind of like shrill voice, like, you idiot, idiot person. Of course I wanted to talk to you
about politics, but this assumption that these two things are separate.
A food show not about politics is a cooking show. Exactly. Even that's about politics.
Even like, you know, Great British Bake, definitely about imperialism. Oh yeah, absolutely.
More like the Great British Make-off with the Elgin Marbles.
Yay! We just had to get, I'm happy. I hate the Great British Bake-off so much.
I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for saying this, but it's just the most mind-numbing
drivel of a program. Like, look at the pretty cakes. Mate, fuck off.
Look at the cakes. I second that. No, one of them made this like really fucking great gingerbread
house. It was dope. It was so good. But could anyone afford to live in it?
No, I don't think I can afford to fucking live in it. No, but shared ownership, baby.
What I was going to say was that it would be instant with delicious,
deliciously, Ella, not delicious, Ella, because that could be problematic.
You want me to say it?
Well, no, famously in like the no-go zone of Tower Hamlets, we're not actually even allowed to
say women's names because it's Haram. We can say women's names. We just need to say them into an
napkin. And also, don't make eye contact with me. I'm a female. Okay. When you say it, just look down.
It's like in limbers. So the instant with deliciously, Ella, is also one where you never
really spoke to her. You spoke to her people all the time, right? It kind of shows that there's
this like infrastructure around because I'm assuming that she's just like a food influence.
She's someone who's basically made a name out of like cooking and promoting like,
you know, healthy food products and stuff like that. Plant-based foods.
In a way that like is portrayed to be authentic, right? So these foods are a way to kind of get
to the lifestyle that you want. And we've all met people who are like that, even in like mail
spaces. That's like the same in the sense of like, you don't necessarily have, you know,
that sort of like aspirate, you know, you'll have your whole life together in, you know,
you'll have your whole life sorted out. But the influences in mail spaces are ones where like,
if you take this like type of protein supplement or if you take, you know, one of the big things
is like intimate and fasting in like bodybuilding spaces. And there's like a whole industry that's
built around like, built around that. And I try to interview a couple of these guys about whether
like intimate and fasting is actually bullshit because it's really just the manipulation of time.
It's just Ramadan for white people, man. What are you talking about? Just call it out, man.
I'm very politically correct. Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe we could cut that out. I didn't know that.
Well, we're receiving Ramadan for white people. I'm sorry. It's good. It's good.
It was Ramadan for white people. It was comedian Dennis Rodman, but there we go.
Two points. No, no, no. So, you know, this type of like infrastructure, this cultural infrastructure
is like now commonplace, thanks to like, you know, basically like apps like Instagram and
Snapchat and stuff like that. But it also goes to show that it's really difficult to hold these
people to account, right? So, so even if they are like taking very political, like they are
taking political positions, maybe not in like a conventional sense, like party politics sense,
but they are taking political positions, right? That's not to say there aren't like food celebrities,
like we interviewed a couple of like celebrity food people, but influencers, you're right completely
in that they do not, there's no, there's no way to kind of address what they're doing because
those spaces are seen to be so apolitical anyway. So, if you're, if you're literally,
and if you follow deliciously Ella, she's got over a million followers on Instagram.
It's a bunch of assai bowls. It's her amazing squash, feta, whatever, not feta because she's
plant-based salad. They are meant to be inert, but underneath that, there's a substratum of
class of politics of this engineered way that we're supposed to consume food under this layer of
authenticity, right? It's presented because the reason, and it's presented as an ideal,
but the only way to access that ideal is to have restricted, is to have access to restricted
resources or to sort of restricted products. And so the imagination that it isn't political is so
again, but that's, but that's a standard liberal assumption, right? That there are some things
that are politics and there are some things that are politics. Don't bring politics into food.
This is why you should eat with everyone and this is why after this podcast, I will be
eating with the alt-right at Wendy's. Absolutely. You and the football lads alliance.
Because even though we disagree on the very fundamental, going out with some sushi and milk
with the boys, fundamental means of like, who should survive in this country and who shouldn't,
you know, we can put our differences aside over some hot, hot wings over some, over some hot
wings and some veggie burgers or in Paul Joseph Watson's case over a book. It's like, actually,
that's when the alt-right in the libs unite is never forget that both Paul Joseph Watson and
Richard Goodwin, Matthew Goodwin, rather, both ate a book in public because of proving a point
because they're plant based on a big map table, essential links.
One of the things, actually, the idea of like self-help that you can eat just gave me the idea
of eating Jordan Peterson's book. 12 fuels for life at him. Like, did I do it right?
One of the things that was like really fundamental when it came to like the intersection of food
and politics was like the section in the superfoods episode, towards the end, when you're talking
about like communities where like, assai is like a fundamental part of their diet, right?
And how, so I think it was in Brazil, where one of the guys, you asked that one of the guys like,
when did you find out that like this price had just gone up of like this very staple food in
your community? I can't remember exactly what he says, but it was just like very suddenly, like,
you know, these demands for exports. And I think like at that moment, it's like, you know,
you can really see where that intersection comes in, because this consumption of assai,
where it's deemed to be input, like unpolitical in this space, it's just one where like, you want
to kind of improve your body and cleanse it or whatever. Like, it does have a political
consequence on the other side of the world. Whether you like it or not, I mean, that's,
if I had to say, what is the general thesis of the entire eight episodes? And we go from water,
water rights, through to pork, through to the dairy industry, GMOs, I mean, we do a whole,
we do a raft of say, if I had to say, there's one kind of lay it motif throughout the whole of the
series, it's this, it's that our decisions in the first world, because whatever we might be,
your friends later on in Wendy's, your old right pals, your buddies, your pals, whether it's them
or us in here, the decisions we make in the first world have a disproportionate effect on people
living in developing nations. They carry the brunt of our decisions. And that was the point that
I was trying to make in that scene that whilst we were walking around trying to find a say for
like almost nothing, because that was what it used to cost. I'm out here paying six pound of bowl,
you know, pizza, pizza, Gucci, Berry, I say, Miley, are you writing this down? I mean, we're
giving you gold. The trash future stenographer. I mean, the trash future. Jamie, all of them are
going into a into a pizza hut in Glasgow. Like, oh, my man, could I have a bowl of your finest
pizza, please? Organic, of course, with a side of dill dip. Exactly. I hate everything you say
about food, Hussain. Seriously, I fucking hate it. It makes me sick every time I'm here, dipping
soup into dipping a pizza soup into a dill sauce. You're a fucking you're fucking psychotic. Maybe
you could use a bit of orthorexing. I'm actually going to be like the Jared Leto character in
the Oliver Twist reboot with Post Malone. Yeah. It's deal shit. Dipping sushi into some coffee
soup. I think that the main thesis of all of the all of the various episodes, we went to, okay,
so we went to 16 countries. We did over 162,000 miles around the world. We looked at every issue
that I could possibly want to uncover through food. But that later motif is
the decisions we make in the first world impact disproportionately people living
in developing nations. And you've just hit that on the head. So if there were listeners who wanted
to kind of, you know, they want to be more conscious about the stuff that they eat and drink,
but they don't want to like be dickheads and get goji berry pizzas. Unless it's two for one,
obviously. This is two for one. You're trying to feed your baby influencer.
Branding baby. But it's spelled B R A N D Y N. What were like the things that you learn
that you would kind of say would be good steps for people living in the West to take?
I think mainly watch my series because it will explain it all. Always. Step one to being a good
person and consume our content. Subscribe to TrashFuture to make you better person.
Completely. When there's like friends, do you like just go and like, share and subscribe
for three moments. If you like a big viral tweet, you can just put down like, you know,
watch my series. That's literally all I ever do. Listen to my SoundCloud documentary.
Oh my God, are you feeling really depressed right now? Do you know what you can do with?
This is really good food exposed thing online. But I think, yeah, watch the film seriously
because this kind of information isn't available to us. And if it is, it's in obscure journals.
It's in kind of, it's not, it's not, pardon the pun, a palatable way of kind of consuming this
sort of information. Don't look at me like that, Riley. Don't look at me like that.
We made you and we can destroy you. I assume.
I'll allow it. I think if you want to be a person who does a thing about, because what
happens with all of the films I've ever made, whether they're the traffickers,
which is on Netflix or food exposed, is people walk away feeling super guilty.
And that seems to be my MO. It's I make films that make people feel super guilty,
but I want to make, because we are responsible for these things. Look, I was born in Kabul,
right? I'm a child of the Afghan war. So I teeter between this existence as a
first world consumer and someone who's very tethered to my Afghan background and heritage.
So I know what it's like to be on both sides of those things. Not to mention the amount of
travel that I've done kind of reinforces those ideas that I have. I think if you want to be
a person who can affect change, do it locally in every sense of that word. So you have to,
you have to eat locally because the weakest thing you can do is popularize dill as a superfood to
fuck over the Russians. I second that. Mila, you're not going to open our little dill farm
somewhere out in Bethnal Green's greener pastures. A dill store sells like hundreds of
kinds of dill soups, dill coffees, also soups. You can make dill condoms called dill dills.
Look, I've made that joke four times now because I really deserve recognition.
I'm sorry about that.
To the listener, I'm sorry you had to hear it so many times, not everyone got it.
So I think the main thing is, is eat locally, try to source your food more ethically. By that,
I don't mean walk into whole foods and assume it's all going to be all right.
Try to understand that these discussions and debates need to be had as much on the farm as
they do in the halls of power. You can affect change by, if you're in the States, there's a lot
of sort of ag-gag laws that prevent the work that activists like direct action everywhere.
Agricultural, don't look me like that. Agricultural gagging laws.
Loving that bondage down on the farm.
I was expecting you to say something.
I was expecting you to say something.
Yeah, and the joke was that I didn't.
Left it blank for you. I left it blank.
And you know what? When it was time to make a gag joke, I choked.
If I didn't, if I wasn't so poor and couldn't risk dropping this mic, I would totally drop it.
I've heard of ag-gag, but just quickly for our listeners.
So agricultural gagging orders and laws are laws in certain States, for example, North Carolina,
Missouri, places that I visited where activists and people who work in those establishments are
forbidden by penalty of a federal crime charge of recording or reporting on anything they see
witnessed in those factory farms. Now, a phenomenal activist organization that I whole
heartedly support, one of two, is a group called Direct Action Everywhere, DXC, and that's run
by Wayne Sieng. And he is now in court currently fighting nine felonies because he removed sick
pigs, sick goats, and sick chickens from these factory farms. That was his crime.
So when I say that these debates and these discussions, and as consumers, it's our
responsibility to fight on the farm, as well as in the halls of power, that's what I mean.
We can do a thing. I'm not saying go and get like a felony charge, but I'm saying maybe,
you know, take that action as much in the world we live in, in the first world,
as you would want it to be taken in the places where our food is grown.
And also to just like food, Jamie Oliver, whenever you see him speak, speaking of booing,
do we have time? Do we think to go over my one last favorite food boy? Yes.
How long do we have collectively five minutes? We do not have time to give that subject justice.
Can we like give him like, can we at least like say his name?
So you met a guy called David of just this is just to conclude in a little bit of a goofy or
no. You met a guy called David. Well, he I will only call him David, what Steven Wolfe.
He goes by something else, doesn't he? He does. What's he go by David?
Is that like, is that how he says it? No, that's how it's pronounced.
Really? Yeah, that's how you say it.
Yeah, that's like, who is who quickly is David?
David Wolf is the guy when you just hear someone's name and you're immediately like,
this man is a complete asshole. I mean, you're going to change your name to like Milo Dill Edwards.
Milo Dill Edwards. It's like, my life as a journalist, I need to be an announcer.
Specifically a monster truck announcer, a vegan monster truck announcer. David is the
grave tender. I mean, I've got all sorts. The David Avocado Wolf is this incredibly famous
celebrity that works with sort of A-listers travels the entire globe and tries to promote
different types of foods for healthy living. Now he's made some super
precarious claims in the past, really things. I'd like to I'd actually like to present you
with a couple of them. Oh my God, go here is the first my first favorite claim from what I can
only call a just as evil, but way uglier looking sideshow Bob chocolate lines up
planetarily with the sun and is therefore an octave of sun energy. I don't even what
the fuck he just say. I know I recognize words. Did you recognize? Did you recognize?
Give us another one. Okay. Okay. He's trying to come up with the online version of
stepping on hundreds of rates. It's like a straw. It's like due to astrology.
Okay, go on astrology. Hey, all of us have such bonks. Okay. Okay.
Sun dried cane juice crystals are more healthy than sugar. What is cane juice just for our
listeners when you're trying to convince the girls to suck you off? There's cane sugar is
the really long one that you have to squeeze. We eat it where we're from. What would we call it?
Sugar. Yeah. I mean, I've heard of it. I've heard of it. A sun dried cane juice crystal is just
it's sugar. It's fucking sugar. It is. It is. Yes. But it sounds so much better when you call
it that. It does. It's almost as though the commodity is lost all meaning in the exchange.
We sat there with him because he's a massive promoter of the new neutral bullet. You said
he's a massive pro and then I thought you were going to say something else.
I will let your producer decide what I say there. He's a massive promoter of the neutral bullet
and he gets paid tons of money to promote this thing and women around the world, mostly women,
believe and kind of adhere to his word as though he's some kind of guru or God. Essentially,
what he's doing is selling hopes and dreams and he will tell you that. See, the interesting thing
about David is he knows he's peddling snake oil. He knows what he does. The problem is
people know it and believe in it. Or as he would call it, sun dried legless lizard paste.
I believe his latest thing at the moment, Milo, is like some kind of deal concoction that he's
got going on. I don't know if you've heard about this. Right. Here's another thing.
Blue butterfly powder. I mean, I don't know. It promotes vitality and healthy aging.
Is it a real thing or is it like unicorns? I'm confused. The whole thing is unicorns, right?
It's like a sachet of Gatorade. All I can hope is that David avocado wolf is at least
acting as a sort of tax on the rich. Oh God. It's a stupidity tax because some of the people
that follow this stuff isn't necessarily rich. That aspire ring, right? That is the aspiring
class. This is people like me. I mean, I don't own a Nutribullet and will I ever own a Nutribullet?
But I like the sound of the crystals in your, in fact, in your documentary. I know we're about
to end, but I don't want to end without sort of, you know, trying to talk about the Nutribullet
briefly. It says it's a blender that's somehow more healthy for you than a normal blender.
Yes. It blends more than blender's blend. It's the Juicero. It juices more than juices juice.
It is. It pulps more than helping. Yeah. It's like, it's, it actually splits the atom and causes
a nuclear explosion of healthy living. Yes. But then it aligns with the sun's universal flow.
Exactly. And then that's why, listen, I don't, it's great marketing. He makes a killing off of
it. And if people are deluding themselves enough to want to buy it, you know, how much the name
sounds like a sex toy. It's like, it's like a vegan sex toy. It makes our suppository juices.
Wait, as a vegan woman, I just want to let you know I'm turned on. There you go.
So David, David Avocado, Wolf wins again. Oh, damn you, David Avocado. Maybe that's it. Maybe like,
maybe at the end of the day, this is just like a really, he's like a pickup artist,
and this is a really elaborate pickup scheme. Hey, he's my homeboy. He's Persian, just like me.
What up, David? All glory to the Ayatollah. Long live the 1979 revolution.
I still believe that Iran's going to win the World Cup, even if it's through the Yemeni team.
All right. So, Nelofar, thank you very much for coming on. This has been a sweet delight.
It's been a positive package of sun-dried cane juice. Our theme tune is Here We Go by Jin
Sang. You can find it on Spotify. What we forgot again. Keep watching the World Cup lads. It's
coming out. And let's see what else. Oh yeah. Commodify your descent with a t-shirt from little
comrade. Why not? And yeah, we have a new home on Spotify. Listen to us there as well as on all
your other Spotify, on your other podcast, listening devices. Is it better for us to listen
to Spotify? One dill per stream. The streaming quality is better. Yeah, you'll hear the extra
jokes that we usually cut out. Like the bit at the end where we decide that David Avocado Wolf
could actually get it.
We have to end this before we say something libelously sexual. David Avocado Wolf
as millennials. I could not. All right. Yo, thank you for listening, everybody. Later.
Bye.