TRASHFUTURE - Dad War feat. Francis Horton

Episode Date: August 27, 2019

Why is it that British dads all want to go to war? Why is it that, despite having grown up during a period of unparalleled peace and stability, people over 50 want to relive Dunkirk and embrace the Bl...itz Spirit? Maybe because they’re all deeply bored and lazy people. To discuss this (and much more), we’ve brought on Francis Horton (@ArmyStrang), cohost of What a Hell of a Way to Die (with our own Nate (@inthesedeserts)). Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum) also discuss the Amazon being on fire and a terrible, terrible NY Post article about monogamy. You will love it. If you want to listen to more of Francis and Nate, check out What a Hell of a Way to Die here: https://soundcloud.com/hellofawaytodie If you like this show, sign up to the Patreon and get a second free episode each week! You’ll also get access to our Discord server, where good opinions abound. https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* Guess who’s going to play live at The World Transformed in Brighton this September? That’s right, your favourite podcast lads. Buy a ticket here: http://theworldtransformed.org If you want to buy one of our recent special-edition phone-cops shirt, shoot us an email at trashfuturepodcast[at]gmail[dot]com and we can post it to you. (£20 for non-patrons, £15 for patrons) Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 David Koch actually he had a medical condition where it caused him when he dove into his giant pool of gold coins To be physically fine initially, but then to literally come himself to death I'm just really surprised that he died before the age of 80 like some sort of lower-class commoner like if you're rich if you're rich you should be living to like 98 and like being completely clear-headed, but like in that way in that clear-headed way where you're like where you're Trump Where it's like obviously you you start sundowning at 9 a.m. But for some reason you managed to like Garner some sort of weird army of other people who have completely bowling ball smooth brains as well Like you're on the limit less pale, but you're also on Lordinum
Starting point is 00:00:49 Kissinger hasn't said a complete sentence in 20 years They just wheel him out for events and he just goes like Yeah, what's the opposite of flowers for Alton on David Koch the reason why he died is that under normal circumstances somebody of his stature would be like Harvesting virgin blood and doing transfusions, but instead he's just build building an entire this massive fucking pile of tar sand outside of Detroit I don't know if you know this story It's like a like a slag heap and he's just been as a to prove a point that he can has been dumping more and more Yes
Starting point is 00:01:27 My my assumption is he was building it as an affront towards God Finally, no, you know what the last time they built a big-ass tower. I fucking smote them and I'm gonna do it again It's a very patient guy this slag heap. I have babble. I Have the final David Koch theory and that and that is and that is Is it a coincidence that all of these older richer celebrities are working are looking way worse recently and beginning to die slowly now That they haven't had access to Epstein for the last like six months and the services. He provides. I'm just asking questions Allegedly allegedly the Epstein isle island is where all of the portraits were like that actually get old and die We're held
Starting point is 00:02:13 I Mean that you know, we're gonna see Bill Clinton die in six months because the portrait of him in high heels and a blue dress has been You know taken off of the island and stored away somewhere in the basement of the Pentagon He's gonna die of some rare condition where he shits and pisses and farts and comes at the same time and that just explodes every blood vessel In his brain and then people are still I Just love the idea that the portrait of Dorian Gray exists, but you have to be trans in it I
Starting point is 00:02:58 Hello and welcome back to trash future the podcast that you're listening to right now on your commute on the toilet or however You choose to memorialize David Koch. I am Riley. You may remember me from other episodes. I'm here in the studio with Nate Hello, it's me Nate. We're here enjoying a lovely summer evening in London But the Amazon is on fire the wrong Amazon is on fire. Damn. I just stole a tweet Numbies for that one. I hope you don't build your entire career on it Otherwise some people in Dunkerries would have been very upset We're also joined on Skype from Edinburgh by Milo Edwards who's doing his comedy vaudeville show. Hello. It's me You boy. Yes, I've brought a show to the Edinburgh fringe and it's full of
Starting point is 00:03:43 Mime blackface and all kinds of amusing prat falls and dance numbers. So please do come and see that I'm pretty sure it'll be over by the time this episode goes out But you know why not travel back in time? Why not travel back in time even further and go to a weird black and white minstrel show or something that'd be fun And also putting on her vaudeville comedy also in Scotland is Alice cake walking onto the podcast. Yeah I'm I'm excited for this. I'm excited to read some really astounding articles that I'm sure you've found. Yeah It's all articles today. I decided I wanted to do an all article podcast because we're joined both fantastic Oh, three of them. There are three of them. I got three
Starting point is 00:04:24 The last one is like is the worst one of all And we're also joined by Francis Horton host of hell of a way to die who you may recognize from being a co-host another podcast with Nate. What's up, y'all It's me Francis the uh, the other half of the imperialist duo of hell of a way to die So all of you British tankies who get tired at yelling at Nate You can feel free to come on over and yell at me and hate follow me at army shrink I fucking look forward to Sending you pig poop balls and then muting you
Starting point is 00:04:55 We're putting a big veteran owned and operated sign up on the podcast But in this case in this case Means that like I sent you all pig poop balls and you are all very owned We would say we're having a veteran coffee company But the idea of coffee is a joke that was stolen from one guy And so we don't want to lose this lawsuit anymore than we're already going to lose it Black rifle soup company is just going to be on you pouring out one soup for our boy It takes its tankies and boomers that sue for likes. What if your soup was your dick?
Starting point is 00:05:23 Yeah, what if that so we don't have a lot of time here because the world is ending Uh, so I figured we might as well try and hash out some of the solutions to what's going on in the amazon Because I don't know if you knew but um, yeah, it looks like remember howling like the 1990s We're like, yeah climate change is going to be a problem like for three generations In the future and then that timeline slowly compressed until a couple years ago We were like, oh fuck it's going to be a real problem in 12 years But now apparently because the entire amazon's on fire we have until like halloween Yeah, it's great. You love to read about things called like dieback. That's always a good sign
Starting point is 00:06:00 Hmm, uh, um, but don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. You can do to a mullet That's kasey dieback. It's uh, uh, uh, fuck uh, steven seagull's character in under siege That's a good pop. I love it's like you can hear important movies You can hear the rolodex in alice's mind worrying if she tries to find the appropriate irony reference like fat Old guy currently a big thing in bella roofs Uh-huh. Oh alexander lucaschenko. Yeah, this this is the mind palace that you need However, don't worry because um, steven pinker has pointed us towards the solution and thank goodness because
Starting point is 00:06:43 You know, he's yeah, we need he needs to keep his profile up having recently not been named in any sort of unsealed court documents No, absolutely. I if anything he needs to make sure that he gets all of his best ideas out soon Before he might have to tell them to a reporter through a glass through glass Or the clintons kill him because i mean allegedly let's be honest allegedly So, uh, steven pinker tweeted out an article. He didn't write it, but I just God, I love I love the way he talks It isn't too late to save the brazilian rainforest if we work with brazil's agribusiness It could be the key to a healthier amazon
Starting point is 00:07:20 If I work with the murderer currently stabbing me that's not too late to prevent me from being killed What if he only wants to take my arm, you know, I could walk away with my life and he gets an arm And what if I learn how to regrow an arm? That's an opportunity for me And you're being the bigger person by compromising What if my arm were a cloud ship? These are all questions I only regret that I lost my saluting arm so I cannot salute david coke slag heap Formally decommissioned they should bury him in that they should give him like a viking funeral and just set the slaggy Detroit river on fire really at further alight. Yeah
Starting point is 00:07:56 Yeah, so who was to read from this article in foreign policy magazine by robert mugger Sure So the robbery thing was kind of on point then Yeah, you know robert mugger. He's a canadian political scientist and urban specialist He's the co-founder of the igorope institute Uh, don't worry. He's white. We can make fun of him Anytime anytime we make someone for their name. I always hastily google them before anyone says anything With gito beb who I thought was like a a weird torii name and it turns out as a welsh torii name
Starting point is 00:08:41 So i'm cancelled in wales now Yeah, but it's also in foreign policy magazine torii and let's be honest. What wales really come on come on lads The the beb is the part that makes it funny So I also like the name gudo beb because it makes because it sounds like it sounds like an italian guy is trying to get your opinion You know something is it gudo beb, you know? That's that's that's an interesting opinion. Um, so I want to talk a bit briefly about foreign policy magazine It's the younger it's the younger stupider freer brother of foreign affairs and foreign affairs is what like It's the why it's the aspiring magazine industry all of the all of the aspiring lanyard morons where at
Starting point is 00:09:20 Read at the when they go to lse like it is the lse roller backpack nerd style magazine and this is its dumber younger brother Um, so the amazon basin plays a critical role in stabilizing the global climate Um through a process called evapotranspiration it influences the planet's crowd cover and circular circulation of ocean currents very interesting Thank you. So immediately a bunch of guys are like You beat me to it. Fuck. I was gonna be like immediately a bunch of dudes are like, whoa, the amazon vapes. It's cool now now I'm interested. Why does the amazon smell so strongly of strawberry? Wait, hang on. Hold on when who who put that flat brim hat on top of brazil? It is, you know
Starting point is 00:10:02 40 the amazon is tying itself down with a samurai sword It incorporates 40 of the world's tropical forests 20 of the freshwater supply and 20 of the air we breathe So just remember what it does. I wasn't using that air. Anyway, it's fine for a while No, um And so uh in bolsanaro's brazil because you know He's cutting down the entirety of the amazon rainforest Um because too many people didn't want to say the n word and it forced a bunch of classical liberals to vote for a fascist Well, remember that how that happened the the uh, the bandits were hiding in the rainforest. What was he supposed to do?
Starting point is 00:10:42 So, um Basically the the entire thing's on on fire And he's like allowing agribusiness just do literally whatever it wants So robert mugger's idea is what if we asked him nicely? He says, um, not surprisingly conservation and protection efforts are facing an uphill battle in bolsanaro's brazil A big part of the problem is that the federal government simply dismisses all opposition Yeah, that does sound like a big problem, doesn't it? Gee what a what a doozy. What a bind
Starting point is 00:11:11 Yeah, the largest obstacle to my compromise plan is that when I asked if they wanted to compromise They said no and told me to go fuck myself Damn again Just imagining like this person like earnestly trying to put the alternative case at the final solution meeting just being like But guys, what is some drooling brazilian fascist? Um Several several top of visuals do not believe that climate change is real and seem convinced that foreign governments and civil society groups are making it up to sabotage bolsanaro's administration Yeah, it's china. It's always it's always been china china making up uh making up climate change again
Starting point is 00:11:50 That's what trump warned us about this in 2015 and y'all just didn't want to listen Look bolsanaro's government is so fragile that it's been seriously destabilized by one mouthy asshole in the form of glenn greenwald and it's supposed to be china doing this No, it's uh, it's What if it's it's just it's just glenn greenwald just going out like having a campfire going out with petrol bombs? Glenn greenwald flicking cigarettes into the amazon rainforest like come on you fox. Let's go allegedly Glenn greenwald acceleration thinks it's getting hotter. It's a very hot country. They're in they're in saunas folks the chinese
Starting point is 00:12:30 They always think it's hot. They're smoking. They're in saunas. They're crouching down low. They think it's getting hot folks It isn't that's the great thing if folks the heat rises, so we just have to crouch down low Oh, no the cloud ships we can just beat the heat by getting on a giant steven pinker run cloud ship Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. I'll allow myself to get distracted I've allowed myself to get distracted from the fact that this is a steven pinker article with a fundamentally steven pinker idea So here is where the steven pinker idea comes in Meanwhile, one of the most powerful ways to protect the region is actually by working with businesses Rather than against them take the case of the brazilian cattle industry
Starting point is 00:13:13 The people who are literally setting it on fire for for camp. No, go ahead. Yeah, let's talk to them Yes, please please take the case of them. Thank you everyone. Sorry. I thought this was a place where we could have civil disagreement um Hem Take the case of the brazilian cattle industry. It might not seem like a likely candidate for progressive policy and I wonder why Because everybody in there is like some insane Brazilian fascist with resting mr. Burns arms I was gonna say it's legit. It's legitimately like the descendants of confederates who still wear fucking like
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yosemite sam hats out there. There's like, you know, have you having fucking barbecue grills roasting rare monkeys? Like Roasting rare monkeys just slayed me. I'm sorry Um I was gonna say the feminists are just really angry at the brazilian cattle farmers because they keep growing these cows with grotesque Huge asses for their own misogynist purposes Yeah, and that's that's worth losing all life on earth for Anyway, here's how we're gonna save all life on earth because this is hard to get through because it's so dumb so, um
Starting point is 00:14:28 Many international importers and sellers are increasingly sensitive to quote Greening their supply change given the global global consumer backlash against the amazon I think he means global consumer backlash against the burning of the amazon. This is this is gay doritos all over again I mean, this is Yeah, what what we need is we need gay orios and gay doritos. Um, obviously that you know, if we if we just go and be like Hey, uh, barbasol, don't you hate that the uh, rainforest is being burned down? Can you can you email balasaro and tell them that to not do that, please? What if they burn down the rain beef?
Starting point is 00:15:07 What if they burn down the rainforest in the colors of the, uh, lgbt flag compromise? If we we just come all ahead, we need somebody to go in there and like photoshop rainbow, uh, all the smoke to be rainbow clouds Oh, yeah, absolutely. They're like, we've owned bolsenaaro by burning down a section of brazil that says trans rights When you discover that the native amazon the the native amazonians believe there's only two genders So that's why you have to burn down the amazon rainforest Whoa, after the fires are finally put out you you know, you pull back and the satellite imagery realizes that burned into the amazon is trans rights or human rights So
Starting point is 00:15:48 Also, I can't breathe real well. It's disgusting how jaya bolsenaaro is burning down the amazon in pride month The last time to do it So okay, so so far we've come up with the solution which seems to be the standard liberal solution Which is actually the fire is good because we made it woke Um, but what what mugga and steven pinker by extension our extent are suggesting is that don't worry If everyone just writes a strongly worded letter to your local supermarket It'll get kicked up the chain to um brazilian agribusiness and eventually Can I talk to the fires manager, please?
Starting point is 00:16:27 I'm just imagining like the the chain of command which goes from like the manager of your local supermarket to jaya bolsenaaro somehow Like Tesco regional manager president of brazil Yeah, exactly. Um, that's that's the global conspiracy Yeah, you just you guys just need to convince tesco to wrap their jammy dodgers and like Recyclable paper that says save the amazon and then we've got it right there Do you I assume that some of that makes you know what a jammy dodger is is it a sandwich? Yes, it is
Starting point is 00:17:06 No, no, no, no, it's not a sandwich. It is two slices of like carb of bread with a filling. That's a sandwich What is with we're not talking about this But it's just a spread And I have no idea there's nothing there's nothing solid It's like you're spreading Butter or something in there, right? Because I know that I know that that island loves butter on stuff But it's jam. It's jam. It's jam, but like you can have a jam sandwich Sure, you can have a peanut butter sandwich. Why can't you have a jam sandwich? Why did you just call it a jammy dodger though?
Starting point is 00:17:39 But it's a cookie it comes in a packet. It's but it's a sandwich of two cookies Like in the same way that an Oreo is a sandwich Sorry, hold on. We're getting just we're getting distracted We've got like a week to save the amazon We've got this dog shit idea for how to do it and my response for my The sake of my own mental health is is an Oreo a sandwich? Yes I have not been living in England for the last year like Nate has so I've not gone native yet So, you know, there's some things I've you know watched a lot of mr. Bean and a lot of
Starting point is 00:18:13 A lot of keeping up appearances and red dwarf to prepare for this So I'm going to have questions because most of my knowledge of British culture is based on Stuff that they played on public television back when I was 10 years old Yo, mr. Bean is a porn here folks I have an earnest I have an earnest question Right, you know all the psychos who believe who believe in like the all-knowing Jewish conspiracy, right? Why are they not being like, okay?
Starting point is 00:18:40 We just need to phone up Mossad and they'll solve climate change because they are like the imaginary Mossad are the only people Who actually have the necessary pull to sort this shit out? Like I wish the Jewish conspiracy was true because we could literally phone up Mossad and be like come on Do us one solid here and just sort this shit out Well, if you if you manage to somehow rename it from uh climate change to Palestinian rights They would be all over it just burning Palestinian rights into the rainforest Palestinian rights are destroying the oceans guys We need uh, we need to do something about this Unfortunately, all they would do is just go shoot people throwing rocks be like we did it
Starting point is 00:19:16 We saved the raid force the oceans have been tying rope to fence It's like wow A lot more military aid to shoot the ocean You know what though? I'm gonna turn liberals in favor of this of doing something about the amazon by just saying You know who else likes burning down rainforest? Vladimir Putin Oh, yeah, no, it was Putin Putin set the fire obviously They used to have rainforest in russia, but Putin hates them so he burned them all down classic strongman tactic
Starting point is 00:19:45 It's eight d chess He's trying to make america weaker by restricting the oxygen supply so we can interfere in our democracy And that's just so we can see his boyfriend donald trump. Well, what he's doing is he's burning down the rainforest everywhere And then they're gonna keep what's the what's the big forest they have in russia? Then he's gonna have all the oxygen He's gonna be president screw from space balls No, so domestic meat producers in brazil are particularly wary since larger chains that sell their products in brazil such as carfour Casino walmart and others are foreign owned and in principle are committed to zero carbon standards So that's solved it, you know
Starting point is 00:20:21 That's like oh We could leverage international capital to fuck them like venezuela except we won't because we don't want to and to be fair Yes, walmart is committed to zero carbon like because they would just you know Scrape their employees off the floor and throw them into a furnace like There's not like well instead of coal We can just you know shove some of our lower paid people into the furnace to keep the place warm coal We have we have our employee. Cool. What if we could what if we could use instead of burning coal? We just use burning walmart from their solar panels
Starting point is 00:20:54 Oh, yeah, they're all on fire because they bought they did any business at all with elan musk This is actually true francis. I don't know if you saw that story, but uh legitimately walmart was like let's lean forward and buy tesla solar panels and then a bunch of walmart's caught on fire Yes, seven simultaneous walmart's No, no, that's conspiracy. That's a clinton's That sounds like a that sounds like a mazvolta song Seven simultaneous On a big map and being like it spells epstein alive in serbia
Starting point is 00:21:27 Well, no, I just like just like the idea that like the reason they all caught on fire was that elan musk Single-handedly pushed a software update to the solar panels to make them all smell like bacon as a joke Simply freaking epic my dude. Okay. Serbian war crimes pedophile. Fucking um jeffra bam Oh, steena litch. I can hear the wheels turning on that one. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna get through this one I'm gonna get through this paragraph. I'm gonna get gotta be a josh ko though shosh shosh you jokers. I'm getting through this paragraph um Brazilian policymakers could face more pressure soon to uh to clamp down on on rain forest clearing given that brazil's finance minister has
Starting point is 00:22:10 Promised he promised he super swore to phase out a whole wide range of subsidies to local producers So businesses will soon need to turn to much more demanding international creditors for access to capital And if they don't change their practices their businesses will suffer Uh-huh. So yeah, there you go It's instead of just making them stop doing it We have this like rube goldberg as contraption of like pricing subsidies at international capital Where like you push a button and then 30 years later Eventually the profits of one brazilian like cattle ranching conglomerate go down by two percent
Starting point is 00:22:44 It's it's it's the camila harris college plan, right? Like uh, it's gonna So it's gonna put out the fire in two percent of affected rain forest If it got a power grant and it opens a small business that operates in a minority-owned community For at least three years Yeah, absolutely. Uh, so that's basically the liberal idea, which is don't worry Everything's fine. You need to take no action. The markets will sort it out Wigazim is alive and well in the mind of steven pinker. Yeah, I like I like how in here They they mentioned is like even the local people don't like ball sara. They don't like the obviously they don't like the fires
Starting point is 00:23:20 And they don't want to strip, you know land away from the indigenous people But you know, all you have to do is put pressure on the government like he's literally a fascist He's just gonna do whatever he wants to do. I don't I don't understand how you're not watching what we do And seeing the exact same thing Uh, I mean trump has absolutely no the idea of a brazilian finance minister. He made a promise So that means it's it's carved in stone. It's like he probably also made a promise saying I promise not to steal Let's know how like we'll find out very soon how much that fucking holds up because well I mean american finance minister has always made good on their promises. Look carving promises in stone
Starting point is 00:23:54 It worked well for Ed Miliband. Why wouldn't it work for the finance minister of brazil? Well, what they have to do is instead of carving it in stone, they just need to burn it into the rainforest and then we'll be good That's like Of doing any messages just burning it into the fucking ruined amazon Um, yeah, that's how we're reading the next article is it's just been inscribed That's how travis god is going to propose to the kardashian that he's dating He's going to burn the proposal into what's left of the land for the rainforest No, okay, so bolsynaro actually has another idea
Starting point is 00:24:34 So right we have the liberal idea for how we're going to fight climate change Which is don't worry people don't want to die and so they're going to buy products from companies that aren't actually killing them Well, which is bolsynaro's idea push-ups because I feel like it would be push-ups very close Very close. Have you seen the video of him trying to do push-ups? It's the best thing Uh, cut that in here, please I will um how can we cut a video to a podcast because it wasn't the audio that was talking The audio you fooled The audio is just a bunch of portuguese
Starting point is 00:25:02 He managed to do like push-ups and I cut all the hilarious manner Of course that would be your favorite music No, he literally he's talking to some army guys and he's trying to act like he's tough And he's like I bet you can't do 20 push-ups right now and the guy's like okay fine He does the push-ups He heard joe biden challenge him And jaya bolsynaro does Half of a push-up and then just kind of limply pretends to do the other 19 with the most
Starting point is 00:25:29 Grimmest expression I've ever seen it's amazing Incredible, but here's his actual idea Jair bolsynaro has responded to growing international condemnation over the fires sweeping through vast swaths of the amazon rainforest This is from Reuters by announcing that the army is going to be sent in to tackle them Fuck yeah, so So we're going to shoot him Shoot the fires gonna shoot a bunch of indigenous people I imagine Look it's their fault for being in the fire please we prefer the term bandits
Starting point is 00:26:00 That's the thing welcome to the acceptable polls of political belief about how we're going to fight climate change On the one hand the left most it seems is don't worry the market's going to sort it out because we have no other big ideas That are going to actually like control any of these industries or two. Don't worry. We can shoot the fire Well, yeah, and also I'm sure that there won't be ulterior motives here because I mean I think one of the things that's getting lost in here that that is important to put out is that The the people setting the fires Are it's not just agribusiness. It's people who are like like ranchers people who own land or people who want Or people who want to who want to own the land
Starting point is 00:26:36 They're going to reclaim from the forest by burning it and some of the people who've been fighting the hardest to stop this process Illegal logging illegal ranching, etc. Have been indigenous Brazilians Yeah, and I'm in an armed way too. So like militarizing the whole red zone is just going to go so well Yeah, and one assumes that if they if they deploy the brazilian military there They're going to take the side of the the people who were trying to burn out natives as opposed to the people who are Who are trying to stop encroachment on their their land basically on their their home territory? So it's it sounds like a fucking shit situation Although it's not as insane as some of the things that I've seen out there where people have been like
Starting point is 00:27:13 I've seen western ostensibly liberal people be like the u.s. Army should declare war on brazil and invade brazil to overthrow bolsynaro What's weird is it's it's the one it's the one time america won't do that Yeah, intervene not intervening in south america amazing I heard that actually jaya bolsynaro was going to deploy dick cheney to the front line because He'll just like shoot a bunch of indigenous people and be like sorry. I thought you were a fire god damn it Well, there's a very current reference there milo Yeah, I love it
Starting point is 00:27:46 The more current the more current reference would be that joe biden's going to go fight the fire by giving it a back rub Yeah, he's going to creepily touch the forest canopy Well, how no they're like they will never stop being funny that dick cheney while vice president of the united states Just like shot his friend in the head and then said he thought he was a deer like He was he was aiming for abstein Yeah Yeah, dick cheney's cue No, no, no honestly. I'm sorry. It did stop being funny because in the same day
Starting point is 00:28:18 Like donald trump was like, yo, we gotta get we gotta get fucking everyone. Um, we got to get everyone on ketamine. Anyway, I'm god Sorry Donald trump did say that that basically he alluded to a new drug that'll stop veterans from having ptsd Which is apparently ketamine And also he said he's the king of the jews and he's god. He's a chosen one He's having such a normal couple of days. Generally what I say when I'm when I'm on ketamine too Riley's making techno noise because it's the thing he associates with ketamine king king allegedly Fucking king herit finally awakens just to be like bro. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:28:54 All right. All right. All right. All right. Um, so that's basically where where we are with the climate The world's gonna end So we don't really know how to deal with it and it seems the best people with any ability to deal with it Their best idea is somewhere between Don't worry. We'll vote with our dollar and I what if we shot it? Yeah, so get blackpilled Start smoking again. The waste. Yeah start smoking. Um, you know, think about where you're gonna get some fresh water Think about what you want to call your wastelands raider tribe Gentlemen start your smoking
Starting point is 00:29:28 I don't actually save my college, uh, my my daughter's college education in the future I'm just like, well, I have a a good shotgun and about five boxes of shells to hand down to you And you can own a part of the mississippi as a water warrior that you will be in 30 years So speaking of uh speaking of war in fact, um I have another article here because we're just having fun today. We're just going through some articles Because that's all we can really do. Um by rod little who for american listeners Now american listeners to our show know who rod little is american listeners who are just coming to us through um through francis rod little is basically a fundamentally
Starting point is 00:30:07 Unserious guy who looks kind of like emorton joe from mad max, but normal It's like if you took a normal person made him emorton joe and then made him normal again That's what kind of what rod little looks like. No, it's it's a morson joe and like james may off of top gear Immortan james may Episode title, please he looks he looks like a brit like if if you showed me this picture and told me nothing about him I'd be like this is a man who's like steeped in bean british like Just generations back probably related to some inbred king somewhere along the lines like this is like this is total
Starting point is 00:30:49 You know, we've got soy face. This is brit face right here. Yeah Rod rod little has hard breath face and pretty anyway Medieval medieval british column columnist king king can't not um So rod little has recently written an article where it's like look also. He's a fundamentally unserious person, but And like the police just trying to make people mad by right because like American column. That's all they exist for is troll. That's one thing one thing I realized american columnists don't tend to write to try to piss you off
Starting point is 00:31:22 Like megan mccarroll like seriously is trying to like explain her point of view. It's just her point of view is dog shit a british columnist A lot of them just write to try to piss people off. That's like brendan and ill rod little James dillingpole Giles corn like a lot of them actually just do this So if you just go in you're like, yeah, this fucking guy. Fuck this guy. You're just doing what they want But I really think that it's more interesting to get into their psychology. Like what does make these people tick
Starting point is 00:31:50 And so rod little picks It's all piss So rod little recently wrote an article. Um, where he was like, you know what? Um, a peaceful easy life hasn't made us happy. Perhaps it's time to give war a chance Yeah Woo sound the fucking air raid siren. It's dad war. That's right folks. The dads want a war Oh my god, this is like a chris morris bit Look, what a truly dog shit article. Like I thought we had just gone bad with the first one
Starting point is 00:32:31 But the young men of britain have gone soft All right And y'all need to get into some trenches and get mustered gassed and have half of your body be paralyzed for the rest of your life Through an incredibly insurmountable and unnecessary war much like the boys did in great war Uh, to be you know to be good again And this is really all your own fault and rod little understands that because he too looks like half of his face doesn't work We need to get the use of dick pills and by dick pills. I mean vickers machine guns See rod rod little knows that um, you know, everyone's kind of rod little's just kind of sad and he's kind of bored
Starting point is 00:33:09 And he's too old to play fps like he's too old to play games And so all he has strategy games will be better for him because he's clearly a man who understands the gravity of the like austro-hungarian threat So basically what you're saying is that instead of instead of the youth needing to go to war to satisfy dad war fantasies What we're actually saying is that dads need to become gamers. Yes, and that'll solve the problem Uh, so here's the article I was wondering idly recently if it maybe it was time for us to have another war with someone Tom clancy's dad war I don't really care who although I
Starting point is 00:33:47 I don't really care who although I'd prefer if it were a war we might win which removes only four or five countries out of the 197 but also not a high tech. He thinks that we would win a war against 192 ish of 197 countries Yes, we didn't really win a war against afghanistan Whose chief export was opium and whose second chief export was misogyny No, they cheated alice. Oh, good. They did they did they did an insurgency They didn't line up all their guys and we line up all their guys and then we fight like civilization six Also, they did they cheated also they had a la on their side and that's just cheating
Starting point is 00:34:23 Yeah, the only way you can actually know they were they were outside the blue eyes white dragon. It's not already fair. Um Yeah, no, you're not right. I'll I'll I was an aimbot Anyway, and that is the only way the taliban aim if there's one thing we've learned that is how they aim Yeah, no fuck what was I gonna say? I was like, oh, yeah No, the only way you can win a war in the in the sort of the queensbury rules Is that you line up all of your soldiers and they arm wrestle each other one by one And then the losing team has to olive oil up while they get buggered by the winning team. That's just how it works I knew this was going to turn sexual as soon as it had more than five guys involved
Starting point is 00:35:04 Morning school style But the jokes on them because then they received the warrior characteristics of the winning side and then they become the warriors An entirely sparsen view of war there Yeah, when broad little says war increases social cohesion and integration. That's what I guess what he means Um, what he says war increases social cohesion and integration And and the population becomes less deranged and self-indulgent. That's right. Not deranged during a war No, no, it's no It's not deranged to love your country by murdering everyone near you. What is deranged is changing your gender
Starting point is 00:35:43 Oh, yeah, he literally thinks that when you have a war so less people will be trans Getting your dick Blown off by a landmine Yeah, that's why I was actually trying to like walk through Afghanistan squatting The Taliban Madness is madness diminishes and people are less inclined to top themselves. It also reduces personal dissatisfaction Literally the amount of people that kill themselves in war to get away from that That's this man read no history of any war
Starting point is 00:36:21 Or worse. No, he just felt it any Bruce Springsteen song Like he just felt it But like this is kind of like this is the point I want to get towards right which is there is this really strong belief among Like older white British Tory voters that seems to be really strong in the uk But doesn't seem to be as strong in the u.s. Which is that we're desperate just to fight a war Come on. Give us a war. We need to feel something And I don't understand why the global war on terror or whatever doesn't count for some reason
Starting point is 00:36:57 Because not enough people are dying in that not enough people come back and and can be heroic and everything When's the last time a British soldier died in the war on terror? Exactly you guys need to you guys need to die more so that we can so that we can be proud of you again Yeah, we can only A proud england is a mostly dead england I think a guy died in Syria, but he wasn't fighting with like the cool guys and the ypg So it doesn't count either from a left Well, that's the thing
Starting point is 00:37:26 They're like, you know, they want the young people to join up and you know to go fight in a war But you know what shemima begum goes and joins isis and suddenly that's not what they meant Oh, sorry you wanted a cause Um, but also I like this. It's like madness Madness diminishes. I think it's like this What what it seems to be the thing that he's sort of dancing around Is and let's say I think what he really resembles as well Like this is not that he this is a point of view that's relatively common
Starting point is 00:37:57 Which is such bitter and acid Destain and hatred of everyone whose dick works better than him that he just wants them all to be dead And so they also be mad and piss in his mouth because he wrote a bad column The problem that we run into with this guy is that he doesn't understand that we're all fighting posting wars online He's just not there like jump into twitter, man Get load up a whole folder on your phone with like pictures of the pig pooping on its own balls Pictures of wolverine dropping the sheet with a giant dick behind it and just fucking get in there and go to war We've got plenty of war to go around. You're just mad that it's not the kind
Starting point is 00:38:32 This is my you're just mad that it's not the kind that fucking blows off your ankle and makes you come back And be like really sad about shit. This is my gift of wolverine dropping a towel to reveal his huge dick There are many like it, but this is fine Unloading a full clip of sorry this ain't it chief into some poor sap I think that's actually how john carrey got the navy cross So we now live We now live in a country where everyone is dissatisfied which has little social cohesion Where integration is a dirty word and a significant minority
Starting point is 00:39:05 Wishes to dismantle everything that has given us a comparatively comfortable existence. Don't sign your tweets jesus Yeah, they're called the tories. Yeah, well, but he's saying. Oh, yes momentum like the young labor left and so on is like Oh, they want to they just want a catastrophe. They want to rip it all down. They're just so it's It's as though they I think they're all solipsist and that's why they'd be such good That's why they think they would generally like be very well-served if they just got a hobby Yeah, well, you're right like the whole thing about madness diminishing Madness diminishing is just like my worldview is so fundamentally mad that when everyone else is insane with me It seems congruent. It seems to make sense to me
Starting point is 00:39:45 but also like you think of you think about like the All of the images of like the us in the 1940s were this this cunt or the uk as well We're a country pulling together to beat the odds like it's a satisfying story But a country just kind of slowly grinding to a halt is like the last four quid are vacuumed up by You know a hedge fund or a foreign pension fund or whatever and there's just no money and no productivity left Like as we just sort of wink out of existence Like of course, he just wants he wants to feel something again It's like it's like it's like a version of cutting but using a column
Starting point is 00:40:21 We round up like Rod Liddle fucking Brendan O'Neill James Dellingpole the rest of the motherfuckers We give them a bunch of Lee Enfield 303s and a Bren gun between them and we send them to sort out Jaya Bolsonaro And we broadcast the whole thing live Yeah, the problem They all want to they all want to go back in time and fight the Nazis again And then you know you post is like well actually there's like a Nazi rally coming over here And it's like well the real Nazis are the ones you're telling them to suck their dick
Starting point is 00:40:51 But like also They're kind of right about the uninspiring modern nature of things because like you can't imagine the blitz spirit brought to you by Serko, right? But I think they're failing to appreciate a lot of the old god brought to you by g4s The old the old imperial stuff was brought to them by what we would now consider social democracy or whatever Here's what I suggest we we need to do a blitz for the online war And just we need to do a whole bunch of posters that say keep calm and keep posting huh
Starting point is 00:41:22 Awful just awful. I mean also what I love about this stuff is that I You made the point Milo, but if you read any Recollection of what things were like here during the war even if you weren't in the British military But rather you just stayed in the United Kingdom It fucking sucked like it fucking it was shit for everyone like tens of thousands of people died in london from v2 rockets Like I just I just don't understand. I mean these people went when there's when there's a terrorist attack in the united kingdom Even if it's not a particularly successful one these people lose their minds as though like, you know
Starting point is 00:41:57 Like it's it's it's the real life version of london has fallen or some shit But then it's like oh We should go back to this day these halcyon days of yore when as Milo has famously said the the entire british military almost got Inniolated and they were saved the last minute by guys with fishing boats Or tens of thousands people were dying in their sleep because they're getting hit by fucking rockets shot at them from belgium like It's just it's blowing my mind Yeah, well the best part about that is that like The people don't talk about it because we have this idea of the blitz spirit or whatever
Starting point is 00:42:27 But like the air raid wardens and the ambulance guys who are Digging people out of rebel from those rockets were notorious for like trying the rings off of fingers and stuff Yeah, it's a good way to make some extra money exactly exactly But yeah, that's it look britain's yeah, they live on the look the wages are very low. They live on the tips But like look here's the other thing right? um We the fact is that this is a certain kind of british dad That i think the point of this article the reason i'm reading it today is to remind you to never try to reason with these people
Starting point is 00:42:58 Never worry about trying to convince them of anything because they have their story And like just like we talked about with elinor a couple weeks ago where most ideas of what's historically accurate for the Medieval era are actually because they were just red lord of the rings and everyone's whites They think that all people were white in the medieval era These people have just read stories about how How sweeping winston churchell would have been and then convinced themselves that they would have been good friends with him and like You know i've done something heroic during the blitz and they're like Ah if only i'd gotten the opportunity because all they know are the stories and there's desperate for those
Starting point is 00:43:33 For this fantasy world that never existed to come back and so you're never going to be able to reach them I have a real life example of this actually there was a some rando on twitter the real posting war Uh was was talking to me about something about world war two They would take an offense to something i'd said or whatever and they were like well you're not very educated You should you should read um richard ovary And i'd said quite recently i've read richard ovary and i find him really reductive And and he's and he just completely went past him he just said oh you must not have read it then
Starting point is 00:44:08 Like no, i just don't agree with it But there's there's one narrative and it's the big history book for dads and we love it everybody everybody thinks that they would be The hero of the psalm or they'd be the ones holding back the nazis and in reality more than likely if Most of these posting dads were in world war one or world war two They would be they would have some sort of weird death like you know crushed to death by uh a fucking horse that got Stabbed through the neck with a lance or something or yeah Died of mustard gas like most of them or just or just came home in They would be they would be holding back the nazis, but they would be doing it in the sense of like bro bro. He's not worth it
Starting point is 00:44:50 I'm just resigned to the fact that if i lived in any period of history outside the last 30 years I just have died shitting like 20. I mean so this is fine I just imagine all the people like now who who's like oh i'm gonna join the army and i'm gonna go and i'm gonna You know When when when a bit when one for the for the for the team here and and do something as the american sniper Right no man You're gonna be jerking off in a port of shitter and 130 degree heat and you are gonna be bored a lot You're gonna get yelled at a lot and you're not gonna be a hero
Starting point is 00:45:19 But you're gonna come back and all the fucking overweight moms of walmart are gonna fucking cheer for you and that's gonna give you You a big head But I know what you did because I did that too and it was jerking off in a port of shitter and 130 degree heat so Literally when you said like oh, you're gonna have a weird death It was like that's what I was thinking is like the 1940s version of like Oh, I was trying to rub one out during a fucking mortar attack and I got I got I got hit by fucking white phosphorus mid-nud Truly the whitest phosphorus did I just come white phosphorus?
Starting point is 00:45:50 Just imagine you're getting preserved in the wanking position like that Pompeii guy There was one guy who got killed by an airdropped count of pineapples if that counts for anything Just imagine we want more of that digging me just slapstick death digging me out of the rubble to no scope if ever that was one Yeah, well, like I feel like if you die in a comical fashion You should be able to like get an instant replay where you can see it in slow motion from a bunch of different angles So here's the final line We have become soft and prone to frit at everything perpetually Discombobulated in our pacific affluence and our ease to the extent that we would throw it all away
Starting point is 00:46:30 Rod little is the softest-looking human being I've ever seen He does not have one muscle Every time I see rod little it's like someone's playing a prank where they've taken an oyster out of its shell And they've given it a column and a fucking like a suit jacket and like a button up shirt that doesn't really fit So he has to leave the top oven undone to look sexy even though nothing's ever been further from sexy You know what he is He's the he's the version of those twister videos of animals where someone quotes it and says stop laughing They only do this when they're very depressed
Starting point is 00:47:05 Does it Nate it's not cool to body shame rod little we can make fun of the ideas, but please don't resort to ad hominins Well, I mean instead of saying he's fat. I'm trying to say he looks like a mollusk without a shell Yeah, he has five out of energy What's in plentiful The inevitable like if you can think of it this political view does exist on the internet It's like the person who's like job of the heart is beach body ready Anyway, rod david vance and rod little are now two guys. I just I want to see more of you know what I mean Yeah, just molding this sort of chin notches together
Starting point is 00:47:46 Oh, yeah, uh, give it to me. We I want to I want I want to see that video But yeah, anyway, so to conclude this article It seems like there is a whole segment of british dad culture exemplified by rod little but certainly not just him Uh, that sees all of the children trying to all of their children who are now by the way like 30 I'm trying to like create a slightly better world for themselves and maybe take a little bit of control of the economy And it's like oh fuck it blow it all up time for a war But also I'd say too something that I think is really important here just to bear in mind Is that like what's happening in the amazon what's happening elsewhere in the world?
Starting point is 00:48:20 What's happening with climate change makes it seem as though it's very likely That shit's going to get destabilized to the point that there is going to be another war And when that happens people like rod little are going to be there will be the first ones in line To make sure their kids don't have to join the military I was going to say I will be impressed by them the fuck I'll be impressed as soon as I see like rod little Write an article that says please take my boy so that he might die of trench foot in syria Yeah, well like roger kippling did that and his son got killed and it fucked him up for the rest of his life Which was not long so inshallah, but but he still found time to make all those delicious cakes. So that's good
Starting point is 00:48:56 No ill will against whatever large sons that rod little has if you are smart you will run far far away Before your dad signs you out to the british Cold war blue balls Look so I've got one I've got one more article just Just because I was really I just I was so Feeling bad articles this week Like we had a like we've got a serious converse a really good serious conversation with kirin yates coming up on wednesday about like The race gap in ai like it's a really good convo. Yeah contains no irony. No jokes. No niche references
Starting point is 00:49:29 No, not a single one, but no it was that was like a good and interesting episode I just want this one to just pound my brain into dust and this last article This last article is really really excellent. Um It is from and this is actually as a salute to francis. I decided to get a an article from one of your countrymen Hey, salut Hey by zan old school, baby So someone from the old country from the other side Well, yes, this is someone from the old country in the other side from the new yorka post
Starting point is 00:50:03 The number one italian newspaper of new york El nuevo yorko posto And it's by rob henderson who I think is the american brendan o'neill I've never heard of him before but from this article. I think he might be Are we are we are we ready to hear at the title because i'm so pleased with the title brandon o'neillia miglia Luxury beliefs are now the latest status symbol for rich americans luxury beliefs. Hell, yeah Hell, yeah, I don't even know what this means, but I love it already Can you say I'm sorry, can you say that again because I didn't I didn't hear anything I didn't hear anything beyond luxury beliefs
Starting point is 00:50:46 Because my brain didn't get around luxury Luxury beliefs are the latest status symbol for rich americans. Okay Tell me what this means. Yeah, his luxury is the latest in the word for slaves No, is it the gwyneth paltrow thing of like dehumidifying your vagina neither it's neither of those It's like steaming your vagina. It's a thing. I swear cis women can't be trusted with them They have this whole thing where they call their vagina the yoni and they want to put like jade eggs inside it And shit like that you buy it from gwyneth mouth you buy it from gwyneth paltrow's fucking stupid website Yes, it's my ex-girlfriend. Anyway, thanks. I'm not joking. Why are they naming their vaginas after a star wars character?
Starting point is 00:51:44 I'm saying I can't wait to get home and put it in your admiral It's it's it's it's the dugs Oh god when the pussies most I sleep. Yeah That pussy was most I sleep moist I sleep get the robots out of here. We don't serve them. Stop it all of you God, I wish I just I wish I could hit a button on my computer and your computer is all just sprayed you with some mist Hitties fuck me sermons. Damn it. I hate august. I fucking hate august when Milo goes to Edinburgh summer Oh, yeah, and then and then all of a sudden it becomes hard to control the podcast
Starting point is 00:52:31 I fuck this is hot earth summer and we are living it up for the last it's hot. It's hot house earth summer It's uninhabitable earth summer After I also just say one thing I meant to say earlier, which is folks. You should see the women they're making now They have vaginas. They're so dry They're so dry They're putting a cigar right there So I said to my humidor salesman. He wanted he wanted more than 20,000. He wanted more than 20,000 for the humidor I said bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. You're gone
Starting point is 00:52:59 I now I have a girlfriend. I keep my cigars right there. It's really more of a Clinton thing Oh, Jesus. Yeah, they're the same. They're both friends of that team. This is the synthesis dry. How are you gonna say no? Okay, okay, what I love about girls who are high school age Is they're high school age and I'm the president I keep getting older and they're vaginas dryness They can't buy cigars, but they can they can transport them for sure Okay, you say number one Nate you're clinton's You would like miss daisy
Starting point is 00:53:41 I'm still stuck in style was pussy. I'm like approaching the pussy and the pussy like it's an old past Everybody everybody Let's all do our buntavista impression And be very very calm so I can get through this article a former classmate from Yale recently told me quote Menogamy is kind of outdated and not good for society. So already he's like by the way I went to Yale and by the way this girl was hissing on me apparently So I asked her what her background is and if she planned to marry She said she comes from an affluent family and works for a well-known technology company
Starting point is 00:54:13 And while she personally intends to have an august marriage quickly added that marriage doesn't have to necessarily be for everyone The article could have ended there Yeah, yep, the article could have ended there But when you're when you have um American Brendan O'Neill brain, uh, you have to turn this into a column and the column is about elitism She said she was raised by a traditional family and planned on having the traditional family But she maintained that traditional families are old fashioned and society should quote evolve beyond them Okay, what could explain this in the past upper class. No, you could just say yes
Starting point is 00:54:48 She just thinks you should be able to sort of do what you want Rob Endersen has some different ideas In the past upper class americans used to display their social status with luxury goods and today they do it They don't do it anymore In the distant days of yore Now, uh upper class americans display their wealth by the quality of the kids they molest What accent was that that was that was more that was bill clinton. Michael jacks That was more bill clinton. Michael jackson than mine was to be fair both of whom allegedly
Starting point is 00:55:21 Michael jackson is much more high That's just pitch When michael jackson goes down south and starts talking like this Be buntavista be like buntavista Fuck God damn it. Come to my ranch and have some of my gumbo While i while i touch your lips Now hiring an entire podcast an entire podcast apply to me to replace these fucking clowns
Starting point is 00:55:49 We'll blaze through it. We'll be professional We're blazing we're blazing through It's so hard to get past my monkey butler down in baton rouge Okay, okay It's so hard. I'm sorry. It's sending me insane Yeah, it's it's it's it's weird that it's driving you insane with the heat in scotland Yeah Every podcast really hard to follow
Starting point is 00:56:32 It wasn't trying to light the amazon on fire, but instead he was trying to charge his samsung galaxy tab It was hard work keep it together through all of that one Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so one example of a luxury belief is that all family structures are equal There you go. That's the luxury belief is the luxury belief is you should be able to like you know If you want to be a single mother raising a child you should be able to like get a sperm donor adopt or whatever and he's like Ah you fucking elitist One of them real taste the difference beliefs Tesco's finest belief
Starting point is 00:57:09 This is not true Evidence is clear that families with two married parents are the most beneficial for young children And yet affluent educated people raised by two married parents are more likely than others to believe that monogamy is outdated um, can anyone believe why maybe Do you think maybe he might have turned the causation around on this a little bit? Yeah, it's interesting a lot of these traditional families seem kind of miserable from personal experience rather than just Data in the abstract, huh? Yeah, interesting. And also it's like, huh, I wonder if you're
Starting point is 00:57:43 Experiencing grinding poverty. Maybe it's more difficult to form sort of certain of these um Of these let's say traditional family structures. No materialism. This is purely a vice and virtue podcast We don't take into account any societal factors ever because you know Now I need to find by what beliefs you have not by any wealth you have because that's like a hundred years ago Yeah, when I converted to Islam it to put me up a tax bracket. I don't know why Yeah, that's um That's jizya No, no you pay the jizya to me in the form of streetwear
Starting point is 00:58:20 Stop it stop it We need to get Milo like a shot collar for dogs, you know No, you're just trying to know Alice. I know what you're doing. You're trying to normalize it. So then you get one Yes, we just have to go we just got to hope that the same company that makes the internet connected door locks makes a dog collar That's a little more reliable when it comes to internet connection So but the other thing is that this this this Henderson guy He seems to be advancing the the argument that um It is identical if someone at 18 has a kid that they let they don't intend to and then has to deal with it
Starting point is 00:58:54 and someone at like 40 adopts like a tech company executive at the age of 40 who's already like wealthy adopts a child and then Raises it in a family. These are the same because it is vice in virtue. It's nothing matters The economy is just something abstract and it's calculator Santa It just is there to reward you for being good It's also something weird to me out that this person's like I had a conversation last week with a friend of mine She's a dumb ass and she's all this dumb shit and I'm gonna make fun of her in my column Uh, by the way, because I'm really smart. I went to Yale and I have no idea what left and right is what is up
Starting point is 00:59:28 What is down? I don't know Anyway, I went to Yale where the locks are from so don't fucking talk to me about shit It's one of these things where it's like it's maybe this guy was born Was born so rich that he just said god, I don't know what happens I just I just keep walking into places tapping my card on this thing and they just give me stuff Yo a chubb university. There are two fraternities the locks and the fish But also I love the like I said because he's like oh in the past it was material possessions It's like I know somebody who's taught at Yale as an adjunct
Starting point is 01:00:00 And like he's had students in his class who come in wearing like $50,000 watches Like unless you're completely a moron going to a school like that You'd know that actually rich people do all sorts of shit still But this guy has to write a column from the New York Post famously saying newspaper. So he's got to own his female friend Uh, who I'm still convinced was hitting on him. That's the only reason you ever bring up Well, well, I don't really believe in monogamy is when you're trying to have an affair with someone And then he went oh, well, what's your social background and she shifted into oh This man is clearly insane never mind
Starting point is 01:00:33 She'd been talking about her tongue piercing before that he was not catching on if material wealth If material wealth is going to be a thing of the past to show my status symbol I'm going to go ahead and change all of my tinder profile pictures from pictures of me leaning against other people's Porsches to just my bio saying about how much I hate monogamy and Love to have sex with as many people as I can. Yeah, absolutely I just a copy of me. Just putting aristocrat nickomacky and ethics on to a fire So here's here's actually here's the so we have our mechanism of action Which is mostly people's like social outcomes. You could say are determined by their material wealth
Starting point is 01:01:13 His outcome. Here's his mechanism of action Relaxed attitudes about marriage trickled down from the rich to the working class in the poor supply side monogamy Jesus Christ, I have this pet theory right that You know how carbon dioxide causes cognitive impairment and that's why you don't notice when you're getting poisoned by it or whatever I have this pet theory that as the concentrations of it go up in the atmosphere We're all just getting much fucking stupider and thus the articles So is this I think that's why is the argument here that that the guy who's writing this believes that
Starting point is 01:01:51 Believing in a monogamous marriage and relationship is now a luxury belief Is that the luxury belief believing in a thing that used to be and it's not it's not doing no bless a bleach If the if the if king louis has a maitre son tithra Then it's sending a bad example that will trickle down to the peasants and they'll start having affairs Meaning that they won't be able to harvest their corn thus famine Exactly like it is If we're going to use the phrase if we're going to use the phrase trickle down Then we might as well go ahead and start having the rich people do more fetishes that involve peeing on people
Starting point is 01:02:24 So that can move on down to the rest of us How are they going to do more they're already doing as many as they can I was also going to say saturation point if you will Yeah, and also it's like I'm actually willing to subscribe to this guy's theory because As you go up in echelons of wealth and stature in society you get to have more niche Uh Fuck what was the name? What was it the expression he used luxury beliefs luxury beliefs? And so as a result it's like when you hit the god tier you can fly your plane into international waters and fuck whomever you want
Starting point is 01:02:54 That's the right you get that's what you that's flying your plane into international waters is just what the mh3 70 guy did Hey, we shouldn't kick shame alice my fucking my fucking luxury belief is to not have debt, but I guess that's just not sexy enough Oh, no, sorry. No, that's um, you're not virtue signaling now. You're doing envy politics. Oh, shit You've gone for virtue signaling to envy politics. I'll turn myself into the reeducation camp On the subject of rich people pissing each other Can we have a brief digression on the greatest Vladimir Putin quote of all time when he was asked for a comment on the Trump p-tape conspiracy theory and he just said Uh, mr. Trump is very successful man
Starting point is 01:03:34 Well, you know, it's not it's not legal fact, right? He's like, uh, mr. Trump is very successful man I do not see why on a trip he would need to call upon the services of prostitutes Although of course russian prostitutes are the best prostitutes in the world I'm a bit of a tourist plug there Come to russia anyway And come in that's very that's a very it's a very borat um attitude, but um, what I what it would take right here is at the 1960s No, stop it. You're you're not gonna keep quoting
Starting point is 01:04:10 Comedy from the early to mid 2000s on this podcast. Milo. I won't fucking have it In the 1960s marriage rates between upper class and lower class americans were nearly identical But during that time affluent americans decided to loosen social norms and express skepticism about marriage and monogamy Just on their own decided to loosen the norms like you had a big dinner and you loosen the norms by one notch I think what happens is that the triple parentheses were deleted out of this Ah, I see Affluent americans loosened the social I'm not saying they were in there But it would make sense if they were in there and then the copy editor was like no, sorry
Starting point is 01:04:46 The new york post is not yet doing triple parentheses Is the one standard we have left here I was gonna say who are the jewish conspiracy theorists who also somehow believe that the jews are like notoriously incredibly socially liberal Like who are those guys? Oh, no, no. Oh, sorry just to explain this is the great replacement theory and what they believe is that is that jews aren't socially liberal They're spreading social liberalism among white people to weaken the stock of the race for purposes unknown It's it's a lot like the one um film treatment. I saw with the title Eagles are turning dogs into horses, but it's jews are using blacks to replace whites
Starting point is 01:05:26 That's literally yeah But surely this is like this dog Horses are far more powerful animal than a dog No, it's look it's bait. You look it's like rock paper scissors. All right Dog, okay. I have one more line I have one more line to read from this luxury beliefs article because it's so stupid. I believe it's made us all dumber Um, like diamond rings or designer clothes of old You know of old again, yeah
Starting point is 01:05:54 Upper class people don a luxury belief to separate themselves from the ignorant lower classes These beliefs in turn produce real tangible consequences for disadvantaged people further widening the divide Unlike say material circumstances, which don't produce tangible consequences. It's all about columns and posting and twitter and universities When gwyneth paltrow steams her vagina It just means one of her disadvantaged employees has to re moisten it by hand and that is unfair But I just I just love it one day maybe even the lower clays Oh, even the lower class americans will have steamed yanis Hmm. Yeah, when mary antoinette came out on her balcony and said let them do heroin
Starting point is 01:06:37 In the future in the future the article concludes expect the upper class to defame even more values Including the ones they hold dear in their quest to gain top dog status Plus they already did it. They're already all pedophiles We already want look eyes wide shut came out like 20 years ago So we already know what the rich people are up to and yeah, all it is is just becoming more and more It's like I am I don't get me wrong I am looking forward to like in 10 years when like, you know, bill clinton has fucking found fucking a horse or something like that And everybody's like we got to fucking catch up. I guess. I mean, he's fucking horses. What do we got to go?
Starting point is 01:07:15 He's fucking it He's even out here in 30 19 I was about to call I was about to call bill clinton the great communicator Then I realized that was the nickname for ronald reagan, but then ronald reagan also Said that quote that mike pence quoted about the best thing for the outside of or the inside of a man is the outside of a horse Which seems to suggest that he fucks horses So ronald reagan also fucked ronald reagan did not fuck dogs, but he did fuck that ape. He was in move as well He's dead. I can't libel him and also it's true
Starting point is 01:07:43 Uh, okay, I've got I think I have the one infuriating take that's going to bring this podcast to a close The only way to defeat the globe-spanning upper-class pedophile conspiracy wait for it Is to let climate change kill us all Um, I fully I fully believe in scrubbing the earth of humanity and uh, just letting I don't know somebody else have a go We'll let instead of monkeys this time. Maybe we'll let you know the dolphins or the spiders or something have humanity versus Yeah, I have a more contrarian take which is worse. We just we just Find and release strategically a bunch of attractive children into the amazon And those fires will be out by 9 a.m. Tomorrow. I guarantee it
Starting point is 01:08:34 Or we'd kill a whole lot of rich pedophiles, which either one Yeah, it's win-win. Oh my god Imagine, you know, like like one of jeffrey absinthe's a-list guests with like a blowgun darkness I'm gonna win this game. I know I am And the current is just like damn it seems like the amazon wildfires knelt with force Now they're all dead. We are out. I didn't even know fires had a hyoid bone We are running very short of time here. So it only falls to me to do the new usual things they do at the end of the episode Is one thank you very much francis for coming on where can people find me on twitter at army straying if you like
Starting point is 01:09:12 Lefty politics with a military slant you can and you really want to hear nate talk more You can come to our podcast what a hell of a way to die and give to our patreon In which we send out all kinds of goodies and bonus episodes. So you can find us on patreon as well That's linked in my bio. So give me support the troops and give them give dollars to me and nate And of course, you can also support our patreon, which is also in the bio of this show We got a really good at one coming out for you this week with our service We we the true the real troops. Anyway, um, I'm super hungry. It's a month
Starting point is 01:09:48 We're gonna get jaya bolson arrow on and talk to him about like doing heroin and DMT at the same time. It's gonna be great Oh, yeah, challenge you to do push-ups When we get no when we get to $5,000 a month What we need to do is that channel all of it to companies that are at politely asking Brazilian ranchers to not burn down the rainforest I'm just gonna say this jaya bolson arrow was a captain the brazilian army paratrooper so the fact that he can only do one push-up is Uh, makes me feel a little bit less bad about my own physical condition
Starting point is 01:10:18 Also And the reply is to when we post this episode because it's incredible Yes, yes Okay. All right. Um That's uh, that's it for all of us uh here at the trash future times. So see you later

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