TRASHFUTURE - Dad War feat. Francis Horton
Episode Date: August 27, 2019Why is it that British dads all want to go to war? Why is it that, despite having grown up during a period of unparalleled peace and stability, people over 50 want to relive Dunkirk and embrace the Bl...itz Spirit? Maybe because they’re all deeply bored and lazy people. To discuss this (and much more), we’ve brought on Francis Horton (@ArmyStrang), cohost of What a Hell of a Way to Die (with our own Nate (@inthesedeserts)). Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum) also discuss the Amazon being on fire and a terrible, terrible NY Post article about monogamy. You will love it. If you want to listen to more of Francis and Nate, check out What a Hell of a Way to Die here: https://soundcloud.com/hellofawaytodie If you like this show, sign up to the Patreon and get a second free episode each week! You’ll also get access to our Discord server, where good opinions abound. https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *LIVE SHOW ALERT* Guess who’s going to play live at The World Transformed in Brighton this September? That’s right, your favourite podcast lads. Buy a ticket here: http://theworldtransformed.org If you want to buy one of our recent special-edition phone-cops shirt, shoot us an email at trashfuturepodcast[at]gmail[dot]com and we can post it to you. (£20 for non-patrons, £15 for patrons) Do you want a mug to hold your soup? Perhaps you want one with the Trashfuture logo, which is available here: https://teespring.com/what-if-phone-cops#pid=659&cid=102968&sid=front
Transcript
Discussion (0)
David Koch actually he had a medical condition where it caused him when he dove into his giant pool of gold coins
To be physically fine initially, but then to literally come himself to death
I'm just really surprised that he died before the age of 80 like some sort of lower-class commoner like
if you're rich if you're rich you should be living to like
98 and like being completely clear-headed, but like in that way in that clear-headed way where you're like where you're Trump
Where it's like obviously you you start sundowning at 9 a.m. But for some reason you managed to like
Garner some sort of weird army of other people who have completely bowling ball smooth brains as well
Like you're on the limit less pale, but you're also on Lordinum
Kissinger hasn't said a complete sentence in 20 years
They just wheel him out for events and he just goes like
Yeah, what's the opposite of flowers for Alton on
David Koch the reason why he died is that under normal circumstances somebody of his stature would be like
Harvesting virgin blood and doing transfusions, but instead he's just build building an entire this massive fucking pile of tar sand outside of Detroit
I don't know if you know this story
It's like a like a slag heap and he's just been as a to prove a point that he can has been dumping more and more
Yes
My my assumption is he was building it as an affront towards God
Finally, no, you know what the last time they built a big-ass tower. I fucking smote them and I'm gonna do it again
It's a very patient guy this slag heap. I have babble. I
Have the final David Koch theory and that and that is and that is
Is it a coincidence that all of these older richer celebrities are working are looking way worse recently and beginning to die slowly now
That they haven't had access to Epstein for the last like six months and the services. He provides. I'm just asking questions
Allegedly allegedly the Epstein isle island is where all of the portraits were like that actually get old and die
We're held
I
Mean that you know, we're gonna see Bill Clinton die in six months because the portrait of him in high heels and a blue dress has been
You know taken off of the island and stored away somewhere in the basement of the Pentagon
He's gonna die of some rare condition where he shits and pisses and farts and comes at the same time and that just explodes every blood vessel
In his brain and then people are still
I
Just love the idea that the portrait of Dorian Gray exists, but you have to be trans in it
I
Hello and welcome back to trash future the podcast that you're listening to right now on your commute on the toilet or however
You choose to memorialize David Koch. I am Riley. You may remember me from other episodes. I'm here in the studio with Nate
Hello, it's me Nate. We're here enjoying a lovely summer evening in London
But the Amazon is on fire the wrong Amazon is on fire. Damn. I just stole a tweet
Numbies for that one. I hope you don't build your entire career on it
Otherwise some people in Dunkerries would have been very upset
We're also joined on Skype from Edinburgh by Milo Edwards who's doing his comedy vaudeville show. Hello. It's me
You boy. Yes, I've brought a show to the Edinburgh fringe and it's full of
Mime blackface and all kinds of amusing prat falls and dance numbers. So please do come and see that
I'm pretty sure it'll be over by the time this episode goes out
But you know why not travel back in time?
Why not travel back in time even further and go to a weird black and white minstrel show or something that'd be fun
And also putting on her vaudeville comedy also in Scotland is Alice cake walking onto the podcast. Yeah
I'm I'm excited for this. I'm excited to read some really astounding articles that I'm sure you've found. Yeah
It's all articles today. I decided I wanted to do an all article podcast because we're joined both fantastic
Oh, three of them. There are three of them. I got three
The last one is like is the worst one of all
And we're also joined by Francis Horton host of hell of a way to die who you may recognize from being a co-host another podcast with
Nate. What's up, y'all
It's me Francis the uh, the other half of the imperialist duo of hell of a way to die
So all of you British tankies who get tired at yelling at Nate
You can feel free to come on over and yell at me and hate follow me at army shrink
I fucking look forward to
Sending you pig poop balls and then muting you
We're putting a big veteran owned and operated sign up on the podcast
But in this case in this case
Means that like I sent you all pig poop balls and you are all very owned
We would say we're having a veteran coffee company
But the idea of coffee is a joke that was stolen from one guy
And so we don't want to lose this lawsuit anymore than we're already going to lose it
Black rifle soup company is just going to be on you pouring out one soup for our boy
It takes its tankies and boomers that sue for likes. What if your soup was your dick?
Yeah, what if that so we don't have a lot of time here because the world is ending
Uh, so I figured we might as well try and hash out some of the solutions to what's going on in the amazon
Because I don't know if you knew but um, yeah, it looks like remember howling like the 1990s
We're like, yeah climate change is going to be a problem like for three generations
In the future and then that timeline slowly compressed until a couple years ago
We were like, oh fuck it's going to be a real problem in 12 years
But now apparently because the entire amazon's on fire we have until like halloween
Yeah, it's great. You love to read about things called like dieback. That's always a good sign
Hmm, uh, um, but don't worry. Don't worry. Don't worry. You can do to a mullet
That's kasey dieback. It's uh, uh, uh, fuck uh, steven seagull's character in under siege
That's a good pop. I love it's like you can hear important movies
You can hear the rolodex in alice's mind worrying if she tries to find the appropriate irony reference like
fat
Old guy currently a big thing in bella roofs
Uh-huh. Oh alexander lucaschenko. Yeah, this this is the mind palace that you need
However, don't worry because um, steven pinker has pointed us towards the solution and thank goodness because
You know, he's yeah, we need he needs to keep his profile up having recently not been named in any sort of unsealed court documents
No, absolutely. I if anything he needs to make sure that he gets all of his best ideas out soon
Before he might have to tell them to a reporter through a glass through glass
Or the clintons kill him because i mean allegedly let's be honest allegedly
So, uh, steven pinker tweeted out an article. He didn't write it, but I just
God, I love I love the way he talks
It isn't too late to save the brazilian rainforest if we work with brazil's agribusiness
It could be the key to a healthier amazon
If I work with the murderer currently stabbing me that's not too late to prevent me from being killed
What if he only wants to take my arm, you know, I could walk away with my life and he gets an arm
And what if I learn how to regrow an arm? That's an opportunity for me
And you're being the bigger person by compromising
What if my arm were a cloud ship? These are all questions
I only regret that I lost my saluting arm so I cannot salute david coke slag heap
Formally decommissioned they should bury him in that they should give him like a viking funeral and just set the slaggy
Detroit river on fire really at further alight. Yeah
Yeah, so who was to read from this article in foreign policy magazine by robert mugger
Sure
So the robbery thing was kind of on point then
Yeah, you know robert mugger. He's a canadian political scientist and urban specialist
He's the co-founder of the igorope institute
Uh, don't worry. He's white. We can make fun of him
Anytime anytime we make someone for their name. I always hastily google them before anyone says anything
With gito beb who I thought was like a a weird torii name and it turns out as a welsh torii name
So i'm cancelled in wales now
Yeah, but it's also in foreign policy magazine torii and let's be honest. What wales really come on come on lads
The the beb is the part that makes it funny
So I also like the name gudo beb because it makes because it sounds like it sounds like an italian guy is trying to get your opinion
You know something is it gudo beb, you know?
That's that's that's an interesting opinion. Um, so I want to talk a bit briefly about foreign policy magazine
It's the younger it's the younger stupider freer brother of foreign affairs and foreign affairs is what like
It's the why it's the aspiring magazine industry all of the all of the aspiring lanyard morons where at
Read at the when they go to lse like it is the lse roller backpack nerd style magazine and this is its dumber younger brother
Um, so the amazon basin plays a critical role in stabilizing the global climate
Um through a process called evapotranspiration it influences the planet's crowd cover and circular circulation of ocean currents very interesting
Thank you. So immediately a bunch of guys are like
You beat me to it. Fuck. I was gonna be like immediately a bunch of dudes are like, whoa, the amazon vapes. It's cool now now
I'm interested. Why does the amazon smell so strongly of strawberry?
Wait, hang on. Hold on when who who put that flat brim hat on top of brazil?
It is, you know
40 the amazon is tying itself down with a samurai sword
It incorporates 40 of the world's tropical forests 20 of the freshwater supply and 20 of the air we breathe
So just remember what it does. I wasn't using that air. Anyway, it's fine for a while
No, um
And so uh in bolsanaro's brazil because you know
He's cutting down the entirety of the amazon rainforest
Um because too many people didn't want to say the n word and it forced a bunch of classical liberals to vote for a fascist
Well, remember that how that happened the the uh, the bandits were hiding in the rainforest. What was he supposed to do?
So, um
Basically the the entire thing's on on fire
And he's like allowing agribusiness just do literally whatever it wants
So robert mugger's idea is what if we asked him nicely?
He says, um, not surprisingly conservation and protection efforts are facing an uphill battle in bolsanaro's brazil
A big part of the problem is that the federal government simply dismisses all opposition
Yeah, that does sound like a big problem, doesn't it?
Gee what a what a doozy. What a bind
Yeah, the largest obstacle to my compromise plan is that when I asked if they wanted to compromise
They said no and told me to go fuck myself
Damn again
Just imagining like this person like earnestly trying to put the alternative case at the final solution meeting just being like
But guys, what is some drooling brazilian fascist?
Um
Several several top of visuals do not believe that climate change is real and seem convinced that foreign governments and civil society groups are making it up to sabotage bolsanaro's administration
Yeah, it's china. It's always it's always been china china making up uh making up climate change again
That's what trump warned us about this in 2015 and y'all just didn't want to listen
Look bolsanaro's government is so fragile that it's been seriously
destabilized by one mouthy asshole in the form of glenn greenwald and it's supposed to be china doing this
No, it's uh, it's
What if it's it's just it's just glenn greenwald just going out like having a campfire going out with petrol bombs?
Glenn greenwald flicking cigarettes into the amazon rainforest like come on you fox. Let's go
allegedly
Glenn greenwald acceleration thinks it's getting hotter. It's a very hot country. They're in they're in saunas folks the chinese
They always think it's hot. They're smoking. They're in saunas. They're crouching down low. They think it's getting hot folks
It isn't that's the great thing if folks the heat rises, so we just have to crouch down low
Oh, no the cloud ships we can just beat the heat by getting on a giant steven pinker run cloud ship
Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. I'll allow myself to get distracted
I've allowed myself to get distracted from the fact that this is a steven pinker article with a fundamentally steven pinker idea
So here is where the steven pinker idea comes in
Meanwhile, one of the most powerful ways to protect the region is actually by working with businesses
Rather than against them take the case of the brazilian cattle industry
The people who are literally setting it on fire for for camp. No, go ahead. Yeah, let's talk to them
Yes, please please take the case of them. Thank you everyone. Sorry. I thought this was a place where we could have civil disagreement
um
Hem
Take the case of the brazilian cattle industry. It might not seem like a likely candidate for progressive policy and I wonder why
Because everybody in there is like some insane
Brazilian fascist with resting mr. Burns arms
I was gonna say it's legit. It's legitimately like the descendants of confederates who still wear fucking like
Yosemite sam hats out there. There's like, you know, have you having fucking barbecue grills roasting rare monkeys? Like
Roasting rare monkeys just slayed me. I'm sorry
Um
I was gonna say the feminists are just really angry at the brazilian cattle farmers because they keep growing these cows with grotesque
Huge asses for their own misogynist purposes
Yeah, and that's that's worth losing all life on earth for
Anyway, here's how we're gonna save all life on earth because this is hard to get through because it's so dumb
so, um
Many international importers and sellers are increasingly sensitive to quote
Greening their supply change given the global global consumer backlash against the amazon
I think he means global consumer backlash against the burning of the amazon. This is this is gay doritos all over again
I mean, this is
Yeah, what what we need is we need gay orios and gay doritos. Um, obviously that you know, if we if we just go and be like
Hey, uh, barbasol, don't you hate that the uh, rainforest is being burned down?
Can you can you email balasaro and tell them that to not do that, please?
What if they burn down the rain beef?
What if they burn down the rainforest in the colors of the, uh, lgbt flag compromise?
If we we just come all ahead, we need somebody to go in there and like photoshop rainbow, uh, all the smoke to be rainbow clouds
Oh, yeah, absolutely. They're like, we've owned bolsenaaro by burning down a section of brazil that says trans rights
When you discover that the native amazon the the native amazonians believe there's only two genders
So that's why you have to burn down the amazon rainforest
Whoa, after the fires are finally put out you you know, you pull back and the satellite imagery realizes that burned into the amazon is
trans rights or human rights
So
Also, I can't breathe real well. It's disgusting how jaya bolsenaaro is burning down the amazon in pride month
The last time to do it
So okay, so so far we've come up with the solution which seems to be the standard liberal solution
Which is actually the fire is good because we made it woke
Um, but what what mugga and steven pinker by extension our extent are suggesting is that don't worry
If everyone just writes a strongly worded letter to your local supermarket
It'll get kicked up the chain to um brazilian agribusiness and eventually
Can I talk to the fires manager, please?
I'm just imagining like the the chain of command which goes from like the manager of your local supermarket to jaya bolsenaaro somehow
Like
Tesco regional manager president of brazil
Yeah, exactly. Um, that's that's the global conspiracy
Yeah, you just you guys just need to convince tesco to wrap their jammy dodgers and like
Recyclable paper that says save the amazon and then we've got it right there
Do you I assume that some of that makes you know what a jammy dodger is is it a sandwich?
Yes, it is
No, no, no, no, it's not a sandwich. It is two slices of like carb of bread with a filling. That's a sandwich
What is with we're not talking about this
But it's just a spread
And I have no idea there's nothing there's nothing solid
It's like you're spreading
Butter or something in there, right? Because I know that I know that that island loves butter on stuff
But it's jam. It's jam. It's jam, but like you can have a jam sandwich
Sure, you can have a peanut butter sandwich. Why can't you have a jam sandwich? Why did you just call it a jammy dodger though?
But it's a cookie it comes in a packet. It's but it's a sandwich of two cookies
Like in the same way that an Oreo is a sandwich
Sorry, hold on. We're getting just we're getting distracted
We've got like a week to save the amazon
We've got this dog shit idea for how to do it and my response for my
The sake of my own mental health is is an Oreo a sandwich? Yes
I have not been living in England for the last year like Nate has so I've not gone native yet
So, you know, there's some things I've you know watched a lot of mr. Bean and a lot of
A lot of keeping up appearances and red dwarf to prepare for this
So I'm going to have questions because most of my knowledge of
British culture is based on
Stuff that they played on public television back when I was 10 years old
Yo, mr. Bean is a porn here folks
I have an earnest I have an earnest question
Right, you know all the psychos who believe who believe in like the all-knowing Jewish conspiracy, right?
Why are they not being like, okay?
We just need to phone up Mossad and they'll solve climate change because they are like the imaginary Mossad are the only people
Who actually have the necessary pull to sort this shit out?
Like I wish the Jewish conspiracy was true because we could literally phone up Mossad and be like come on
Do us one solid here and just sort this shit out
Well, if you if you manage to somehow rename it from uh climate change to Palestinian rights
They would be all over it just burning Palestinian rights into the rainforest Palestinian rights are destroying the oceans guys
We need uh, we need to do something about this
Unfortunately, all they would do is just go shoot people throwing rocks be like we did it
We saved the raid force the oceans have been tying rope to fence
It's like wow
A lot more military aid to shoot the ocean
You know what though? I'm gonna turn liberals in favor of this of doing something about the amazon by just saying
You know who else likes burning down rainforest?
Vladimir Putin
Oh, yeah, no, it was Putin Putin set the fire obviously
They used to have rainforest in russia, but Putin hates them so he burned them all down classic strongman tactic
It's eight d chess
He's trying to make america weaker by restricting the oxygen supply so we can interfere in our democracy
And that's just so we can see his boyfriend donald trump. Well, what he's doing is he's burning down the rainforest everywhere
And then they're gonna keep what's the what's the big forest they have in russia? Then he's gonna have all the oxygen
He's gonna be president screw from space balls
No, so domestic meat producers in brazil are particularly wary since larger chains that sell their products in brazil such as carfour
Casino walmart and others are foreign owned and in principle are committed to zero carbon standards
So that's solved it, you know
That's like oh
We could leverage international capital to fuck them like venezuela except we won't because we don't want to and to be fair
Yes, walmart is committed to zero carbon like because they would just you know
Scrape their employees off the floor and throw them into a furnace like
There's not like well instead of coal
We can just you know shove some of our lower paid people into the furnace to keep the place warm coal
We have we have our employee. Cool. What if we could what if we could use instead of burning coal?
We just use burning walmart from their solar panels
Oh, yeah, they're all on fire because they bought they did any business at all with elan musk
This is actually true francis. I don't know if you saw that story, but uh legitimately
walmart was like let's lean forward and buy tesla solar panels and then a bunch of walmart's caught on fire
Yes, seven simultaneous walmart's
No, no, that's conspiracy. That's a clinton's
That sounds like a that sounds like a mazvolta song
Seven simultaneous
On a big map and being like it spells epstein alive in serbia
Well, no, I just like just like the idea that like the reason they all caught on fire was that elan musk
Single-handedly pushed a software update to the solar panels to make them all smell like bacon as a joke
Simply freaking epic my dude. Okay. Serbian war crimes pedophile. Fucking um
jeffra bam
Oh, steena litch. I can hear the wheels turning on that one. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna get through this one
I'm gonna get through this paragraph. I'm gonna get gotta be a josh ko though shosh shosh you jokers. I'm getting through this paragraph
um
Brazilian policymakers could face more pressure soon to uh to clamp down on on rain forest clearing given that brazil's finance minister has
Promised he promised he super swore to phase out a whole wide range of subsidies to local producers
So businesses will soon need to turn to much more demanding international creditors for access to capital
And if they don't change their practices their businesses will suffer
Uh-huh. So yeah, there you go
It's instead of just making them stop doing it
We have this like rube goldberg as contraption of like pricing subsidies at international capital
Where like you push a button and then 30 years later
Eventually the profits of one brazilian like cattle ranching conglomerate go down by two percent
It's it's it's the camila harris college plan, right? Like uh, it's gonna
So it's gonna put out the fire in two percent of affected rain forest
If it got a power grant and it opens a small business that operates in a minority-owned community
For at least three years
Yeah, absolutely. Uh, so that's basically the liberal idea, which is don't worry
Everything's fine. You need to take no action. The markets will sort it out
Wigazim is alive and well in the mind of steven pinker. Yeah, I like I like how in here
They they mentioned is like even the local people don't like ball sara. They don't like the obviously they don't like the fires
And they don't want to strip, you know land away from the indigenous people
But you know, all you have to do is put pressure on the government like he's literally a fascist
He's just gonna do whatever he wants to do. I don't I don't understand how you're not watching what we do
And seeing the exact same thing
Uh, I mean trump has absolutely no the idea of a brazilian finance minister. He made a promise
So that means it's it's carved in stone. It's like he probably also made a promise saying I promise not to steal
Let's know how like we'll find out very soon how much that fucking holds up because well
I mean american finance minister has always made good on their promises. Look carving promises in stone
It worked well for Ed Miliband. Why wouldn't it work for the finance minister of brazil?
Well, what they have to do is instead of carving it in stone, they just need to burn it into the rainforest and then we'll be good
That's like
Of doing any messages just burning it into the fucking ruined amazon
Um, yeah, that's how we're reading the next article is it's just been inscribed
That's how travis god is going to propose to the kardashian that he's dating
He's going to burn the proposal into what's left of the land for the rainforest
No, okay, so bolsynaro actually has another idea
So right we have the liberal idea for how we're going to fight climate change
Which is don't worry people don't want to die and so they're going to buy products from companies that aren't actually killing them
Well, which is bolsynaro's idea push-ups because I feel like it would be push-ups very close
Very close. Have you seen the video of him trying to do push-ups? It's the best thing
Uh, cut that in here, please
I will um how can we cut a video to a podcast because it wasn't the audio that was talking
The audio you fooled
The audio is just a bunch of portuguese
He managed to do like push-ups and I cut all the hilarious manner
Of course that would be your favorite music
No, he literally he's talking to some army guys and he's trying to act like he's tough
And he's like I bet you can't do 20 push-ups right now and the guy's like okay fine
He does the push-ups
He heard joe biden challenge him
And jaya bolsynaro does
Half of a push-up and then just kind of limply pretends to do the other 19 with the most
Grimmest expression I've ever seen it's amazing
Incredible, but here's his actual idea
Jair bolsynaro has responded to growing international condemnation over the fires sweeping through vast swaths of the amazon rainforest
This is from Reuters by announcing that the army is going to be sent in to tackle them
Fuck yeah, so
So we're going to shoot him
Shoot the fires gonna shoot a bunch of indigenous people I imagine
Look it's their fault for being in the fire please we prefer the term bandits
That's the thing welcome to the acceptable polls of political belief about how we're going to fight climate change
On the one hand the left most it seems is don't worry the market's going to sort it out because we have no other big ideas
That are going to actually like control any of these industries or two. Don't worry. We can shoot the fire
Well, yeah, and also I'm sure that there won't be ulterior motives here because I mean
I think one of the things that's getting lost in here that that is important to put out is that
The the people setting the fires
Are it's not just agribusiness. It's people who are like like ranchers people who own land or people who want
Or people who want to who want to own the land
They're going to reclaim from the forest by burning it and some of the people who've been fighting the hardest to stop this process
Illegal logging illegal ranching, etc. Have been indigenous Brazilians
Yeah, and I'm in an armed way too. So like militarizing the whole red zone is just going to go so well
Yeah, and one assumes that if they if they deploy the brazilian military there
They're going to take the side of the the people who were trying to burn out natives as opposed to the people who are
Who are trying to stop encroachment on their their land basically on their their home territory?
So it's it sounds like a fucking shit situation
Although it's not as insane as some of the things that I've seen out there where people have been like
I've seen western ostensibly liberal people be like the u.s. Army should declare war on brazil and invade brazil to overthrow bolsynaro
What's weird is it's it's the one it's the one time america won't do that
Yeah, intervene not intervening in south america amazing
I heard that actually jaya bolsynaro was going to deploy dick cheney to the front line because
He'll just like shoot a bunch of indigenous people and be like sorry. I thought you were a fire
god damn it
Well, there's a very current reference there milo
Yeah, I love it
The more current the more current reference would be that joe biden's going to go fight the fire by giving it a back rub
Yeah, he's going to creepily touch the forest canopy
Well, how no they're like they will never stop being funny that dick cheney while vice president of the united states
Just like shot his friend in the head and then said he thought he was a deer like
He was he was aiming for abstein
Yeah
Yeah, dick cheney's cue
No, no, no honestly. I'm sorry. It did stop being funny because in the same day
Like donald trump was like, yo, we gotta get we gotta get fucking everyone. Um, we got to get everyone on ketamine. Anyway, I'm god
Sorry
Donald trump did say that that basically he alluded to a new drug that'll stop veterans from having ptsd
Which is apparently ketamine
And also he said he's the king of the jews and he's god. He's a chosen one
He's having such a normal couple of days. Generally what I say when I'm when I'm on ketamine too
Riley's making techno noise because it's the thing he associates with ketamine king king allegedly
Fucking king herit finally awakens just to be like bro. What the fuck?
All right. All right. All right. All right. Um, so that's basically where where we are with the climate
The world's gonna end
So we don't really know how to deal with it and it seems the best people with any ability to deal with it
Their best idea is somewhere between
Don't worry. We'll vote with our dollar and I what if we shot it? Yeah, so get blackpilled
Start smoking again. The waste. Yeah start smoking. Um, you know, think about where you're gonna get some fresh water
Think about what you want to call your wastelands raider tribe
Gentlemen start your smoking
I don't actually save my college, uh, my my daughter's college education in the future
I'm just like, well, I have a a good shotgun and about five boxes of shells to hand down to you
And you can own a part of the mississippi as a water warrior that you will be in 30 years
So speaking of uh speaking of war in fact, um
I have another article here because we're just having fun today. We're just going through some articles
Because that's all we can really do. Um by rod little who for american listeners
Now american listeners to our show know who rod little is american listeners who are just coming to us through um through francis
rod little is basically a fundamentally
Unserious guy who looks kind of like emorton joe from mad max, but normal
It's like if you took a normal person made him emorton joe and then made him normal again
That's what kind of what rod little looks like. No, it's it's a morson joe and like james may off of top gear
Immortan james may
Episode title, please he looks he looks like a brit like if if you showed me this picture and told me nothing about him
I'd be like this is a man who's like
steeped in bean british like
Just generations back probably related to some inbred king somewhere along the lines like this is like this is total
You know, we've got soy face. This is brit face right here. Yeah
Rod rod little has hard breath face and pretty anyway
Medieval medieval british column columnist king king can't not
um
So rod little has recently written an article where it's like look also. He's a fundamentally unserious person, but
And like the police just trying to make people mad by right because like
American column. That's all they exist for is troll. That's one thing one thing
I realized american columnists don't tend to write to try to piss you off
Like megan mccarroll like seriously is trying to like explain her point of view. It's just her point of view is dog
shit
a british columnist
A lot of them just write to try to piss people off. That's like brendan and ill rod little
James dillingpole
Giles corn like a lot of them actually just do this
So if you just go in you're like, yeah, this fucking guy. Fuck this guy. You're just doing what they want
But I really think that it's more interesting to get into their psychology. Like what does make these people tick
And so rod little picks
It's all piss
So rod little recently wrote an article. Um, where he was like, you know what?
Um, a peaceful easy life hasn't made us happy. Perhaps it's time to give war a chance
Yeah
Woo sound the fucking air raid siren. It's dad war. That's right folks. The dads want a war
Oh my god, this is like a chris morris bit
Look, what a truly dog shit article. Like I thought we had just gone bad with the first one
But the young men of britain have gone soft
All right
And y'all need to get into some trenches and get mustered gassed and have half of your body be paralyzed for the rest of your life
Through an incredibly insurmountable and unnecessary war much like the boys did in great war
Uh, to be you know to be good again
And this is really all your own fault and rod little understands that because he too looks like half of his face doesn't work
We need to get the use of dick pills and by dick pills. I mean vickers machine guns
See rod rod little knows that um, you know, everyone's kind of rod little's just kind of sad and he's kind of bored
And he's too old to play fps like he's too old to play games
And so all he has strategy games will be better for him because he's clearly a man who understands the gravity of the like austro-hungarian threat
So basically what you're saying is that instead of instead of the youth needing to go to war to satisfy dad war fantasies
What we're actually saying is that dads need to become gamers. Yes, and that'll solve the problem
Uh, so here's the article
I was wondering idly recently if it maybe it was time for us to have another war with someone
Tom clancy's dad war
I don't really care who although I
I don't really care who although I'd prefer if it were a war we might win which removes only four or five countries out of the
197 but also not a high tech. He thinks that we would win a war against
192 ish of 197 countries
Yes, we didn't really win a war against afghanistan
Whose chief export was opium and whose second chief export was misogyny
No, they cheated alice. Oh, good. They did they did they did an insurgency
They didn't line up all their guys and we line up all their guys and then we fight like civilization six
Also, they did they cheated also they had a la on their side and that's just cheating
Yeah, the only way you can actually know they were they were outside the blue eyes white dragon. It's not already fair. Um
Yeah, no, you're not right. I'll I'll I was an aimbot
Anyway, and that is the only way the taliban aim if there's one thing we've learned that is how they aim
Yeah, no fuck what was I gonna say? I was like, oh, yeah
No, the only way you can win a war in the in the sort of the queensbury rules
Is that you line up all of your soldiers and they arm wrestle each other one by one
And then the losing team has to olive oil up while they get buggered by the winning team. That's just how it works
I knew this was going to turn sexual as soon as it had more than five guys involved
Morning school style
But the jokes on them because then they received the warrior characteristics of the winning side and then they become the warriors
An entirely sparsen view of war there
Yeah, when broad little says war increases social cohesion and integration. That's what I guess what he means
Um, what he says war increases social cohesion and integration
And and the population becomes less deranged and self-indulgent. That's right. Not deranged during a war
No, no, it's no
It's not deranged to love your country by murdering everyone near you. What is deranged is changing your gender
Oh, yeah, he literally thinks that when you have a war so less people will be trans
Getting your dick
Blown off by a landmine
Yeah, that's why I was actually trying to like walk through Afghanistan squatting
The Taliban
Madness is madness diminishes and people are less inclined to top themselves. It also reduces personal dissatisfaction
Literally the amount of people that kill themselves in war to get away from that
That's this man read no history of any war
Or worse. No, he just felt it any Bruce Springsteen song
Like he just felt it
But like this is kind of like this is the point I want to get towards right which is there is this really strong belief
among
Like older white British Tory voters that seems to be really strong in the uk
But doesn't seem to be as strong in the u.s. Which is that we're desperate just to fight a war
Come on. Give us a war. We need to feel something
And I don't understand why the global war on terror or whatever doesn't count for some reason
Because not enough people are dying in that not enough people come back and and can be heroic and everything
When's the last time a British soldier died in the war on terror?
Exactly you guys need to you guys need to die more so that we can so that we can be proud of you again
Yeah, we can only
A proud england is a mostly dead england
I think a guy died in Syria, but he wasn't fighting with like the cool guys and the ypg
So it doesn't count either from a left
Well, that's the thing
They're like, you know, they want the young people to join up and you know to go fight in a war
But you know what shemima begum goes and joins isis and suddenly that's not what they meant
Oh, sorry you wanted a cause
Um, but also I like this. It's like madness
Madness diminishes. I think it's like this
What what it seems to be the thing that he's sort of dancing around
Is and let's say I think what he really resembles as well
Like this is not that he this is a point of view that's relatively common
Which is such bitter and acid
Destain and hatred of everyone whose dick works better than him that he just wants them all to be dead
And so they also be mad and piss in his mouth because he wrote a bad column
The problem that we run into with this guy is that he doesn't understand that we're all fighting posting wars online
He's just not there like jump into twitter, man
Get load up a whole folder on your phone with like pictures of the pig pooping on its own balls
Pictures of wolverine dropping the sheet with a giant dick behind it and just fucking get in there and go to war
We've got plenty of war to go around. You're just mad that it's not the kind
This is my you're just mad that it's not the kind that fucking blows off your ankle and makes you come back
And be like really sad about shit. This is my gift of wolverine dropping a towel to reveal his huge dick
There are many like it, but this is fine
Unloading a full clip of sorry this ain't it chief into some poor sap
I think that's actually how john carrey got the navy cross
So we now live
We now live in a country where everyone is dissatisfied which has little social cohesion
Where integration is a dirty word and a significant minority
Wishes to dismantle everything that has given us a comparatively comfortable existence. Don't sign your tweets jesus
Yeah, they're called the tories. Yeah, well, but he's saying. Oh, yes momentum like the young labor left and so on is like
Oh, they want to they just want a catastrophe. They want to rip it all down. They're just so it's
It's as though they I think they're all solipsist and that's why they'd be such good
That's why they think they would generally like be very well-served if they just got a hobby
Yeah, well, you're right like the whole thing about madness diminishing
Madness diminishing is just like my worldview is so fundamentally mad that when everyone else is insane with me
It seems congruent. It seems to make sense to me
but also like you think of you think about like the
All of the images of like the us in the 1940s were this this cunt or the uk as well
We're a country pulling together to beat the odds like it's a satisfying story
But a country just kind of slowly grinding to a halt is like the last four quid are vacuumed up by
You know a hedge fund or a foreign pension fund or whatever and there's just no money and no productivity left
Like as we just sort of wink out of existence
Like of course, he just wants he wants to feel something again
It's like it's like it's like a version of cutting but using a column
We round up like Rod Liddle fucking Brendan O'Neill
James Dellingpole the rest of the motherfuckers
We give them a bunch of Lee Enfield 303s and a Bren gun between them and we send them to sort out Jaya Bolsonaro
And we broadcast the whole thing live
Yeah, the problem
They all want to they all want to go back in time and fight the Nazis again
And then you know you post is like well actually there's like a Nazi rally coming over here
And it's like well the real Nazis are the ones you're telling them to suck their dick
But like also
They're kind of right about the uninspiring modern nature of things because like you can't imagine the blitz spirit brought to you by
Serko, right? But
I think they're failing to appreciate a lot of the old god brought to you by g4s
The old the old imperial stuff was brought to them by what we would now consider social democracy or whatever
Here's what I suggest we we need to do a blitz for the online war
And just we need to do a whole bunch of posters that say keep calm and keep posting
huh
Awful just awful. I mean also what I love about this stuff is that
I
You made the point Milo, but if you read any
Recollection of what things were like here during the war even if you weren't in the British military
But rather you just stayed in the United Kingdom
It fucking sucked like it fucking it was shit for everyone like tens of thousands of people died in london from v2 rockets
Like I just I just don't understand. I mean these people went when there's when there's a terrorist attack in the united kingdom
Even if it's not a particularly successful one these people lose their minds as though like, you know
Like it's it's it's the real life version of london has fallen or some shit
But then it's like oh
We should go back to this day these halcyon days of yore when as Milo has famously said the the entire british military almost got
Inniolated and they were saved the last minute by guys with fishing boats
Or tens of thousands people were dying in their sleep because they're getting hit by fucking rockets shot at them from belgium like
It's just it's blowing my mind
Yeah, well the best part about that is that like
The people don't talk about it because we have this idea of the blitz spirit or whatever
But like the air raid wardens and the ambulance guys who are
Digging people out of rebel from those rockets were notorious for like trying the rings off of fingers and stuff
Yeah, it's a good way to make some extra money exactly exactly
But yeah, that's it look britain's yeah, they live on the look the wages are very low. They live on the tips
But like look here's the other thing right?
um
We the fact is that this is a certain kind of british dad
That i think the point of this article the reason i'm reading it today is to remind you to never try to reason with these people
Never worry about trying to convince them of anything because they have their story
And like just like we talked about with elinor a couple weeks ago where most ideas of what's historically accurate for the
Medieval era are actually because they were just red lord of the rings and everyone's whites
They think that all people were white in the medieval era
These people have just read stories about how
How sweeping winston churchell would have been and then convinced themselves that they would have been good friends with him and like
You know i've done something heroic during the blitz and they're like
Ah if only i'd gotten the opportunity because all they know are the stories and there's desperate for those
For this fantasy world that never existed to come back and so you're never going to be able to reach them
I have a real life example of this actually there was a some rando on twitter the real posting war
Uh was was talking to me about something about world war two
They would take an offense to something i'd said or whatever and they were like well you're not very educated
You should you should read um richard ovary
And i'd said quite recently
i've read richard ovary and i find him really reductive
And and he's and he just completely went past him he just said oh you must not have read it then
Like no, i just don't agree with it
But there's there's one narrative and it's the big history book for dads and we love it everybody everybody thinks that they would be
The hero of the psalm or they'd be the ones holding back the nazis and in reality more than likely if
Most of these posting dads were in world war one or world war two
They would be they would have some sort of weird death like you know crushed to death by uh a fucking horse that got
Stabbed through the neck with a lance or something or yeah
Died of mustard gas like most of them or just or just came home in
They would be they would be holding back the nazis, but they would be doing it in the sense of like bro bro. He's not worth it
I'm just resigned to the fact that if i lived in any period of history outside the last 30 years
I just have died shitting like 20. I mean so this is fine
I just imagine all the people like now who who's like oh i'm gonna join the army and i'm gonna go and i'm gonna
You know
When when when a bit when one for the for the for the team here and and do something as the american sniper
Right no man
You're gonna be jerking off in a port of shitter and 130 degree heat and you are gonna be bored a lot
You're gonna get yelled at a lot and you're not gonna be a hero
But you're gonna come back and all the fucking overweight moms of walmart are gonna fucking cheer for you and that's gonna give you
You a big head
But I know what you did because I did that too and it was jerking off in a port of shitter and 130 degree heat so
Literally when you said like oh, you're gonna have a weird death
It was like that's what I was thinking is like the 1940s version of like
Oh, I was trying to rub one out during a fucking mortar attack and I got
I got I got hit by fucking white phosphorus mid-nud
Truly the whitest phosphorus did I just come white phosphorus?
Just imagine you're getting preserved in the wanking position like that Pompeii guy
There was one guy who got killed by an airdropped count of pineapples if that counts for anything
Just imagine we want more of that digging me just slapstick death digging me out of the rubble to no scope if ever that was one
Yeah, well, like I feel like if you die in a comical fashion
You should be able to like get an instant replay where you can see it in slow motion from a bunch of different angles
So here's the final line
We have become soft and prone to frit at everything perpetually
Discombobulated in our pacific affluence and our ease to the extent that we would throw it all away
Rod little is the softest-looking human being I've ever seen
He does not have one muscle
Every time I see rod little it's like someone's playing a prank where they've taken an oyster out of its shell
And they've given it a column and a fucking like a suit jacket and like a button up shirt that doesn't really fit
So he has to leave the top oven undone to look sexy even though nothing's ever been further from sexy
You know what he is
He's the he's the version of those twister videos of animals where someone quotes it and says stop laughing
They only do this when they're very depressed
Does it Nate it's not cool to body shame rod little we can make fun of the ideas, but please don't resort to ad hominins
Well, I mean instead of saying he's fat. I'm trying to say he looks like a mollusk without a shell
Yeah, he has five out of energy
What's in plentiful
The inevitable like if you can think of it this political view does exist on the internet
It's like the person who's like job of the heart is beach body ready
Anyway, rod david vance and rod little are now two guys. I just I want to see more of you know what I mean
Yeah, just molding this sort of chin notches together
Oh, yeah, uh, give it to me. We I want to I want I want to see that video
But yeah, anyway, so to conclude this article
It seems like there is a whole segment of british dad culture exemplified by rod little but certainly not just him
Uh, that sees all of the children trying to all of their children who are now by the way like 30
I'm trying to like create a slightly better world for themselves and maybe take a little bit of control of the economy
And it's like oh fuck it blow it all up time for a war
But also I'd say too something that I think is really important here just to bear in mind
Is that like what's happening in the amazon what's happening elsewhere in the world?
What's happening with climate change makes it seem as though it's very likely
That shit's going to get destabilized to the point that there is going to be another war
And when that happens people like rod little are going to be there will be the first ones in line
To make sure their kids don't have to join the military
I was going to say I will be impressed by them the fuck I'll be impressed as soon as I see like rod little
Write an article that says please take my boy so that he might die of trench foot in syria
Yeah, well like roger kippling did that and his son got killed and it fucked him up for the rest of his life
Which was not long so inshallah, but but he still found time to make all those delicious cakes. So that's good
No ill will against whatever large sons that rod little has if you are smart you will run far far away
Before your dad signs you out to the british
Cold war blue balls
Look so I've got one I've got one more article just
Just because I was really I just I was so
Feeling bad articles this week
Like we had a like we've got a serious converse a really good serious conversation with kirin yates coming up on wednesday about like
The race gap in ai like it's a really good convo. Yeah contains no irony. No jokes. No niche references
No, not a single one, but no it was that was like a good and interesting episode
I just want this one to just pound my brain into dust and this last article
This last article is really really excellent. Um
It is from and this is actually as a salute to francis. I decided to get a an article from one of your countrymen
Hey, salut
Hey by zan old school, baby
So someone from the old country from the other side
Well, yes, this is someone from the old country in the other side from the new yorka post
The number one italian newspaper of new york
El nuevo yorko posto
And it's by rob henderson who I think is the american brendan o'neill
I've never heard of him before but from this article. I think he might be
Are we are we are we ready to hear at the title because i'm so pleased with the title brandon o'neillia miglia
Luxury beliefs are now the latest status symbol for rich americans luxury beliefs. Hell, yeah
Hell, yeah, I don't even know what this means, but I love it already
Can you say I'm sorry, can you say that again because I didn't I didn't hear anything I didn't hear anything beyond luxury beliefs
Because my brain didn't get around luxury
Luxury beliefs are the latest status symbol for rich americans. Okay
Tell me what this means. Yeah, his luxury is the latest in the word for slaves
No, is it the gwyneth paltrow thing of like dehumidifying your vagina neither it's neither of those
It's like steaming your vagina. It's a thing. I swear cis women can't be trusted with them
They have this whole thing where they call their vagina the yoni and they want to put like jade eggs inside it
And shit like that you buy it from gwyneth mouth you buy it from gwyneth paltrow's fucking stupid website
Yes, it's my ex-girlfriend. Anyway, thanks. I'm not joking. Why are they naming their vaginas after a star wars character?
I'm saying
I can't wait to get home and put it in your admiral
It's it's it's it's the dugs
Oh god when the pussies most I sleep. Yeah
That pussy was most I sleep moist I sleep get the robots out of here. We don't serve them. Stop it all of you
God, I wish I just I wish I could hit a button on my computer and your computer is all just sprayed you with some mist
Hitties fuck me sermons. Damn it. I hate august. I fucking hate august when Milo goes to Edinburgh summer
Oh, yeah, and then and then all of a sudden it becomes hard to control the podcast
I fuck this is hot earth summer and we are living it up for the last it's hot. It's hot house earth summer
It's uninhabitable earth summer
After I also just say one thing I meant to say earlier, which is folks. You should see the women they're making now
They have vaginas. They're so dry
They're so dry
They're putting a cigar right there
So I said to my humidor salesman. He wanted he wanted more than 20,000. He wanted more than 20,000 for the humidor
I said bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. You're gone
I now I have a girlfriend. I keep my cigars right there. It's really more of a Clinton thing
Oh, Jesus. Yeah, they're the same. They're both friends of that team. This is the synthesis dry. How are you gonna say no?
Okay, okay, what I love about girls who are high school age
Is they're high school age and I'm the president I keep getting older and they're vaginas
dryness
They can't buy cigars, but they can they can transport them for sure
Okay, you say number one Nate you're clinton's
You would like miss daisy
I'm still stuck in style was pussy. I'm like approaching the pussy and the pussy like it's an old past
Everybody everybody
Let's all do our buntavista impression
And be very very calm so I can get through this article a former classmate from Yale recently told me quote
Menogamy is kind of outdated and not good for society. So already he's like by the way
I went to Yale and by the way this girl was hissing on me apparently
So I asked her what her background is and if she planned to marry
She said she comes from an affluent family and works for a well-known technology company
And while she personally intends to have an august marriage quickly added that marriage doesn't have to necessarily be for everyone
The article could have ended there
Yeah, yep, the article could have ended there
But when you're when you have um
American Brendan O'Neill brain, uh, you have to turn this into a column and the column is about elitism
She said she was raised by a traditional family and planned on having the traditional family
But she maintained that traditional families are old fashioned and society should quote evolve beyond them
Okay, what could explain this in the past upper class. No, you could just say yes
She just thinks you should be able to sort of do what you want
Rob Endersen has some different ideas
In the past upper class americans used to display their social status with luxury goods and today they do it
They don't do it anymore
In the distant days of yore
Now, uh upper class americans display their wealth by the quality of the kids they molest
What accent was that that was that was more that was bill clinton. Michael jacks
That was more bill clinton. Michael jackson than mine was to be fair both of whom allegedly
Michael jackson is much more high
That's just pitch
When michael jackson goes down south and starts talking like this
Be buntavista be like buntavista
Fuck
God damn it. Come to my ranch and have some of my gumbo
While i while i touch your lips
Now hiring an entire podcast an entire podcast apply to me to replace these fucking clowns
We'll blaze through it. We'll be professional
We're blazing we're blazing through
It's so hard to get past my monkey butler down in baton rouge
Okay, okay
It's so hard. I'm sorry. It's sending me insane
Yeah, it's it's it's it's weird that it's driving you insane with the heat in scotland
Yeah
Every podcast really hard to follow
It wasn't trying to light the amazon on fire, but instead he was trying to charge his samsung galaxy tab
It was hard work keep it together through all of that one
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so one example of a luxury belief is that all family structures are equal
There you go. That's the luxury belief is the luxury belief is you should be able to like you know
If you want to be a single mother raising a child you should be able to like get a sperm donor adopt or whatever and he's like
Ah you fucking elitist
One of them real taste the difference beliefs
Tesco's finest belief
This is not true
Evidence is clear that families with two married parents are the most beneficial for young children
And yet affluent educated people raised by two married parents are more likely than others to believe that monogamy is outdated
um, can anyone believe why maybe
Do you think maybe he might have turned the causation around on this a little bit?
Yeah, it's interesting a lot of these traditional families seem kind of miserable from personal experience rather than just
Data in the abstract, huh?
Yeah, interesting. And also it's like, huh, I wonder if you're
Experiencing grinding poverty. Maybe it's more difficult to form sort of certain of these um
Of these let's say traditional family structures. No materialism. This is purely a vice and virtue podcast
We don't take into account any societal factors ever because you know
Now I need to find by what beliefs you have not by any wealth you have because that's like a hundred years ago
Yeah, when I converted to Islam it to put me up a tax bracket. I don't know why
Yeah, that's um
That's jizya
No, no you pay the jizya to me in the form of streetwear
Stop it stop it
We need to get Milo like a shot collar for dogs, you know
No, you're just trying to know Alice. I know what you're doing. You're trying to normalize it. So then you get one
Yes, we just have to go we just got to hope that the same company that makes the internet connected door locks makes a dog collar
That's a little more reliable when it comes to internet connection
So but the other thing is that this this this Henderson guy
He seems to be advancing the the argument that um
It is identical if someone at 18 has a kid that they let they don't intend to and then has to deal with it
and someone at like
40 adopts like a tech company executive at the age of 40 who's already like wealthy adopts a child and then
Raises it in a family. These are the same because it is vice in virtue. It's nothing matters
The economy is just something abstract and it's calculator Santa
It just is there to reward you for being good
It's also something weird to me out that this person's like I had a conversation last week with a friend of mine
She's a dumb ass and she's all this dumb shit and I'm gonna make fun of her in my column
Uh, by the way, because I'm really smart. I went to Yale and I have no idea what left and right is what is up
What is down? I don't know
Anyway, I went to Yale where the locks are from so don't fucking talk to me about shit
It's one of these things where it's like it's maybe this guy was born
Was born so rich that he just said god, I don't know what happens
I just I just keep walking into places tapping my card on this thing and they just give me stuff
Yo a chubb university. There are two fraternities the locks and the fish
But also I love the like I said because he's like oh in the past it was material possessions
It's like I know somebody who's taught at Yale as an adjunct
And like he's had students in his class who come in wearing like $50,000 watches
Like unless you're completely a moron going to a school like that
You'd know that actually rich people do all sorts of shit still
But this guy has to write a column from the New York Post famously saying newspaper. So he's got to own his female friend
Uh, who I'm still convinced was hitting on him. That's the only reason you ever bring up
Well, well, I don't really believe in monogamy is when you're trying to have an affair with someone
And then he went oh, well, what's your social background and she shifted into oh
This man is clearly insane never mind
She'd been talking about her tongue piercing before that he was not catching on if material wealth
If material wealth is going to be a thing of the past to show my status symbol
I'm going to go ahead and change all of my tinder profile pictures from pictures of me leaning against other people's
Porsches to just my bio saying about how much I hate monogamy and
Love to have sex with as many people as I can. Yeah, absolutely
I just a copy of me. Just putting aristocrat nickomacky and ethics on to a fire
So here's here's actually here's the so we have our mechanism of action
Which is mostly people's like social outcomes. You could say are determined by their material wealth
His outcome. Here's his mechanism of action
Relaxed attitudes about marriage trickled down from the rich to the working class in the poor supply side monogamy
Jesus Christ, I have this pet theory right that
You know how carbon dioxide causes cognitive impairment and that's why you don't notice when you're getting poisoned by it or whatever
I have this pet theory that as the concentrations of it go up in the atmosphere
We're all just getting much fucking stupider and thus the articles
So is this I think that's why is the argument here that that
the guy who's writing this believes that
Believing in a monogamous marriage and relationship is now a luxury belief
Is that the luxury belief believing in a thing that used to be and it's not it's not doing no bless a bleach
If the if the if king louis has a maitre son tithra
Then it's sending a bad example that will trickle down to the peasants and they'll start having affairs
Meaning that they won't be able to harvest their corn thus famine
Exactly like it is
If we're going to use the phrase if we're going to use the phrase trickle down
Then we might as well go ahead and start having the rich people do more fetishes that involve peeing on people
So that can move on down to the rest of us
How are they going to do more they're already doing as many as they can
I was also going to say saturation point if you will
Yeah, and also it's like I'm actually willing to subscribe to this guy's theory because
As you go up in echelons of wealth and stature in society you get to have more niche
Uh
Fuck what was the name? What was it the expression he used luxury beliefs luxury beliefs?
And so as a result it's like when you hit the god tier you can fly your plane into international waters and fuck whomever you want
That's the right you get that's what you that's flying your plane into international waters is just what the mh3 70 guy did
Hey, we shouldn't kick shame alice my fucking my fucking luxury belief is to not have debt, but I guess that's just not sexy enough
Oh, no, sorry. No, that's um, you're not virtue signaling now. You're doing envy politics. Oh, shit
You've gone for virtue signaling to envy politics. I'll turn myself into the reeducation camp
On the subject of rich people pissing each other
Can we have a brief digression on the greatest Vladimir Putin quote of all time when he was asked for a comment on the
Trump p-tape conspiracy theory and he just said
Uh, mr. Trump is very successful man
Well, you know, it's not it's not legal fact, right?
He's like, uh, mr. Trump is very successful man
I do not see why on a trip he would need to call upon the services of prostitutes
Although of course russian prostitutes are the best prostitutes in the world
I'm a bit of a tourist plug there
Come to russia anyway
And come in that's very that's a very it's a very borat um attitude, but um, what I what it would take right here is at the 1960s
No, stop it. You're you're not gonna keep quoting
Comedy from the early to mid 2000s on this podcast. Milo. I won't fucking have it
In the 1960s marriage rates between upper class and lower class americans were nearly identical
But during that time affluent americans decided to loosen social norms and express skepticism about marriage and monogamy
Just on their own decided to loosen the norms like you had a big dinner and you loosen the norms by one notch
I think what happens is that the triple parentheses were deleted out of this
Ah, I see
Affluent americans loosened the social I'm not saying they were in there
But it would make sense if they were in there and then the copy editor was like no, sorry
The new york post is not yet doing triple parentheses
Is the one standard we have left here
I was gonna say who are the jewish conspiracy theorists who also somehow believe that the jews are like notoriously incredibly socially liberal
Like who are those guys?
Oh, no, no. Oh, sorry just to explain this is the great replacement theory and what they believe is that is that jews aren't socially liberal
They're spreading social liberalism among white people to weaken the stock of the race for purposes unknown
It's it's a lot like the one um film treatment. I saw with the title
Eagles are turning dogs into horses, but it's jews are using blacks to replace whites
That's literally yeah
But surely this is like this dog
Horses are far more powerful animal than a dog
No, it's look it's bait. You look it's like rock paper scissors. All right
Dog, okay. I have one more line
I have one more line to read from this luxury beliefs article because it's so stupid. I believe it's made us all dumber
Um, like diamond rings or designer clothes of old
You know of old again, yeah
Upper class people don a luxury belief to separate themselves from the ignorant lower classes
These beliefs in turn produce real tangible consequences for disadvantaged people further widening the divide
Unlike say material circumstances, which don't produce tangible consequences. It's all about columns and posting and twitter and universities
When gwyneth paltrow steams her vagina
It just means one of her disadvantaged employees has to re moisten it by hand and that is unfair
But I just I just love it one day maybe even the lower clays
Oh, even the lower class americans will have steamed yanis
Hmm. Yeah, when mary antoinette came out on her balcony and said let them do heroin
In the future in the future the article concludes expect the upper class to defame even more values
Including the ones they hold dear in their quest to gain top dog status
Plus they already did it. They're already all pedophiles
We already want look eyes wide shut came out like 20 years ago
So we already know what the rich people are up to and yeah, all it is is just becoming more and more
It's like I am I don't get me wrong
I am looking forward to like in 10 years when like, you know, bill clinton has fucking found fucking a horse or something like that
And everybody's like we got to fucking catch up. I guess. I mean, he's fucking horses. What do we got to go?
He's fucking it
He's even out here in 30 19
I was about to call I was about to call bill clinton the great communicator
Then I realized that was the nickname for ronald reagan, but then ronald reagan also
Said that quote that mike pence quoted about the best thing for the outside of or the inside of a man is the outside of a horse
Which seems to suggest that he fucks horses
So ronald reagan also fucked ronald reagan did not fuck dogs, but he did fuck that ape. He was in move as well
He's dead. I can't libel him and also it's true
Uh, okay, I've got I think I have the one infuriating take that's going to bring this podcast to a close
The only way to defeat the globe-spanning upper-class pedophile conspiracy wait for it
Is to let climate change kill us all
Um, I fully I fully believe in scrubbing the earth of humanity and uh, just letting I don't know somebody else have a go
We'll let instead of monkeys this time. Maybe we'll let you know the dolphins or the spiders or something have humanity versus
Yeah, I have a more contrarian take which is worse. We just we just
Find and release strategically a bunch of attractive children into the amazon
And those fires will be out by 9 a.m. Tomorrow. I guarantee it
Or we'd kill a whole lot of rich pedophiles, which either one
Yeah, it's win-win. Oh my god
Imagine, you know, like like one of jeffrey absinthe's a-list guests with like a blowgun darkness
I'm gonna win this game. I know I am
And the current is just like damn it seems like the amazon wildfires knelt with force
Now they're all dead. We are out. I didn't even know fires had a hyoid bone
We are running very short of time here. So it only falls to me to do the new usual things they do at the end of the episode
Is one thank you very much francis for coming on where can people find me on twitter at army straying if you like
Lefty politics with a military slant you can and you really want to hear nate talk more
You can come to our podcast what a hell of a way to die and give to our patreon
In which we send out all kinds of goodies and bonus episodes. So you can find us on patreon as well
That's linked in my bio. So give me support the troops and give them give dollars to me and nate
And of course, you can also support our patreon, which is also in the bio of this show
We got a really good at one coming out for you this week with
our service
We we the true the real troops. Anyway, um, I'm super hungry. It's a month
We're gonna get jaya bolson arrow on and talk to him about like doing heroin and DMT at the same time. It's gonna be great
Oh, yeah, challenge you to do push-ups
When we get no when we get to $5,000 a month
What we need to do is that channel all of it to companies that are at politely asking
Brazilian ranchers to not burn down the rainforest
I'm just gonna say this jaya bolson arrow was a captain the brazilian army paratrooper
so the fact that he can only do one push-up is
Uh, makes me feel a little bit less bad about my own physical condition
Also
And the reply is to when we post this episode because it's incredible
Yes, yes
Okay. All right. Um
That's uh, that's it for all of us uh here at the trash future times. So see you later