TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* Flowers for Algernonce feat. Hesse Deni

Episode Date: October 11, 2024

We are joined by Hesse Deni (@ZeroSuitCamus) of the Seeking Derangements and Movie Mindset podcasts to discuss A VERY ROYAL SCANDAL, another installment of British TV movies dramatizing the Prince Andrew Newsnight interview…but this time with an inexplicable voice. No, literally, what is going on with the way they’ve depicted Emily Maitlis’ voice? It’s a baffling assembly. Check out Seeking Derangements here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/seeking-derangements/id1503267615 Check out Movie Mindset here! https://www.patreon.com/chapotraphouse Get the whole episode on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/113809869 *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s UK Tour Here: https://miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)

I feel like in reality, Beatrice would have been like, just like staring straight ahead. Like, I feel like that's like, she's like one of those people that is in an airplane and doesn't listen to music or watch a movie. They just stare straight at the scene in front of them for five hours. They should have shot the father of the bride speech in full. god, they grow up so fast, don't they? Yeah, don't I know it. Anyway, anyway, no, it's great to be here, obviously. Well, not so great, you know. Sorry. No, I'm kidding, I'm just joking. This is my second public speaking engagement of the month,

let's say because I've been better than the last one. Anyway, he definitely said that for real, he definitely said that. And everyone laughed, every single person definitely laughed because I looked up like Beatrice after this and I'm like what like did she like cut him off or something and every single article is like she's so torn She's gonna get fucking dysplasia in a couple of years or whatever You might have heard that there's there's a woman coming after me for my money, but enough about this wedding.

Milo, do you write Prince Andrew's Father of the Brides speech? This is fire. No one's applying for that job. Can I say by the way, my other favorite scene, I have so many favorite scenes, is like Prince Andrew deals with the guilt of being relieved from his royal duties, which is just like, he's still Prince Andrew, he's just not like, ribbon cutting anymore. By like, running to the kitchen and cleaning a dish? Yeah, I actually quite like this bit that he's shit at doing dishes, cause he's never

done it before, and so he's just kind of like, yelling at his stuff, furiously scrubbing this giant baking tray, and getting water everywhere. I kind of like yelling at his stuff, furiously scrubbing this giant baking tray and getting water everywhere. I kind of like this. Also, I like the idea of applying for the job as Andrew's like joke writer and trying to get him on like, have I got news for you as a guest host as the first step back. I'm going on the have a word podcast. All I can picture is Anthony Jezelnick like auditioning to be Prince Andrew's joke writer and being like the last kid I raped fucking sucked.

I didn't even call Prince Andrew. Prince Andrew should start his own podcast called Mummy's Basement. It's like him and Lawrence Fox and Gary Glitter. Wouldn't it be called like Call Me Mummy or something? And it would just be like... Call me mommy, call her mommy, angry with an exclamation point and angry emoji. Andrew, you've got to stop doing this podcast. We're getting complaints.

People have said it's, people have said it's choo-gee for real, for real. They say, you've got new Riz. People on, on dig talk. Andrew, you have to stop taking calls because people keep, people keep calling you. You know, you're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this.

You're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this. You're not supposed to be doing this. You say you've got new Riz. People on TikTok. Andrew, you have to stop taking calls because people keep calling you a mummy's boy and you keep calling them a mummy's boy in response and it's not fascinating listening. They're saying you're cringe, Andrew. You're not very base at all, Andrew. Milo Yiannopoulos, this is his next pick up for him.

The denouement of the whole thing is then the question of like, oh, is Emily Maitlis now too guilty from embarrassing Prince Andrew to continue on being a journalist and news night? And what will Prince Andrew do now that he's like had to wash one dish one time? And like, because they're like, we have to fill another half hour. There's a completely implausible bit where the Queen's private secretary, fucking George Smiley, shows up to deliver the epic royal clap back to Andrew. Because he's doing the like, you know, where will I go?

What will I do thing? And this guy is like, you have to live with the consequences of your actions in this completely dark room where they don't even, they can't even afford to have somebody make the tea and nobody knows how to make it themselves. Oh yeah. That's so funny where the woman goes, I'd offer you a cup of tea, but we've had to let all the staff go. Obviously I couldn't possibly make tea myself. That would be insane. I don't know where it is in the alphabet. You want me to lift a kettle? I've got sciatica. I, and for the listeners who haven't watched this and don't, if you're listening to this,

do not watch this. This I really cannot stress enough how dark this is like visually. It is impossible to see what's going on at any point. It is like, I genuinely like, twice thought that I was like, there's no way my TV brightness isn't accidentally all the way down. It was just fully up. I turned it all the way up and it didn't help at all. It's just, it's not well done in so many ways. They're trying to fit it into the Batman, the new like, Batman TV show universe. Where

everything is still dark in that TV. Oh my god. Yeah. I mean, they basically, they basically have Michael Sheen wearing a sort of Colin Farrell amount of prosthetics in this. Yeah. Why, why did Michael Sheen agree? Like Michael Sheen is like an actually good actor. I don't know if he is though. I'm going to be real. This might be controversial. He's played Tony Blair lots of times. Why? He's been, he's been good in other things, but in this? Well, the same with Ruth Morgan.

He's the go-to British main guy, who's also a character actor guy. It's like, oh, we couldn't get Steve Coogan, let's go to the second person to roll in. He's kicking the shit out of Ruth Wilson as mate, Liz. I don't know what Ruth Wilson was smoking. I guess the Twilight money sort of ran out, and he's got a mortgage to pay still, so. I don't know what Ruth Wilson was smoking. I guess like I guess the Twilight money sort of ran out and he's got a mortgage to pay still. So I love him. That's the only thing I've ever liked in it. It's in Twilight. Honestly, I remember when I was 12, I rented the movie The Damned United on just for no reason on iTunes. Like in Buffalo, New York, like a little gay little 12 year old

for no reason watching the damned United doesn't even follow soccer or no one. I was like, damn is in the title. That's cool as fuck. And I was like, this movie fucking blows. This is so boring. The back half of the last episode, which they're just trying to find stuff to talk about. They're like, okay, well, I guess the drama now is going to be will Prince Andrew get extradited? Will it go to trial? Are they just going to pay the hush money? And again, we know what happens, but in order to make it dramatic. They pay the hush money because of Prince's Beatrice doing the like lean in girl boss thing as well.

Prince Andrew is desperate to go to trial to clear his name, but also it becomes a kind of like farce comedy because he has to run away from process servers. But that's very easy because he's surrounded by guards all the time. ALICE That's the sole moment of drama they can muster up in the third episode, beyond kind of cynically hitting you with, oh by the way, Emily Maitlis had a stalker, is to be like, oh, you have to leave the house now in case you get like, subpoenaed. Yeah.

And officers of the court in full ghillie suits trying to track down Prince Andrew on the Balmoral estate. Listen, Soap, we've got to serve these papers to Prince Andrew. I know what colour the boathouse at Hereford was. I was there. It's very dark in here. They've turned off all the lamps. Put on your night vision goggles. What I also think is funny is that this uses an exact shot from Sicario, but instead of

driving a Mexican drug lord out of Mexico to Texas, they're doing the overhead drone tracking shot with the low drone music of Prince Andrew running away from a process server. No, and honestly, the thing is, for real is probably as depicted in this movie, the realest danger facing him because it's so clear that obviously the royal family has the power to stop that from happening. But it seems for a little bit in this that they have just decided not to. They're like, you know, if they get you, whatever, we can't help. Just Prince Charles being like, skill a shoe.

Yes, he's like, who's going to tie my shoe? I mean, yes, the timeline where Prince Andrew gets extradited to the U.S. is just like a very funny one, like Prince Andrew in some kind of like federal prison. I've been invited to join the Latin Kings. I explained that I'm a prince already. I'm not sure if that's. The other thing I love is like to have Emily Mayless like leaves her job of news reading to become a podcaster.

And like they make actual mugs that Emily gives to her team with a picture of like Michael Sheen as Prince Andrew on it with like a meme font that's like, no sweat or whatever. Just to make sure that this woman who we've seen is like, very conflicted about this, is still ultimately like, a kind of a piece of shit. Yeah. I would love, number one, I don't, if you're listening to this and you work at Amazon Prime

MGM Studios, I want the mug with Michael Sheen on it. I think the worst part about this is using the like, actual Virginia Dufre footage instead of like, casting someone as her. It's vile. I truly, I have it in my notes that uh, the... hang on. Like, if you're gonna use it at all... Really one of the most vile, really one of the most vile scenes in recent memory. Prince Andrew's daughter heroically deciding to get married while watching the Virginia Jeffrey panorama interview. And by the way, that's why they got that the information from panorama.

Clearly they don't have very high standards for giving their shit to people because they gave this interview to this fucking- God, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. That's why they got that information. They're like, yeah, that's why they got that information. They're like, Oh, Panorama never gives anything to us. This image of like BBC shows as being like the FBI and the CIA and the NSA before 9 11. Like we, everyone's now all wrapped up. We have a long shot of Prince Andrew looking sad and mournfully in the distance. And by the way, we know like he's fine. He's back

to his royal duties. He was walking in the Queen's funeral. Like, even the small things that could have happened to him, we know, we know from the last time we did this exact show, didn't happen to him. ALICE Yeah, it doesn't thread the needle of, like, I'm sure he was very upset, but like, not because anything consequential really happened.