TRASHFUTURE - *PREVIEW* Years of Lead Poisoning

Episode Date: January 3, 2025

 For our first TF episode of 2025 (recorded in 2025, that is), we're talking about recent events in the United States, plus Elon Musk's decision to weigh in on British politics and its downstream effects: ruining Keir Starmer's toboggan ride, among other things. We very much hope you enjoy. Get the full episode on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/119250867 *POPES/LAGOON SHIRTS STILL AVAILABLE!* We've got some extras of our recent shirts that can be purchased online and will ship immediately! Get them here: https://trashfuture.co.uk/collections/all *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s UK Tour here: https://miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and November (@postoctobrist)

Tories like Chris Philp. Incredible name. Sort of name you'd get by being cut off by a character count. Shadow Home Secretary. Again now has to, to all of his like respectable career building that he did for so long as being the person who manages the baying hounds, not the person who's like in there with them.

Now once again has to go up on like, you know, fucking like, on the radio and say, well, I can't speculate about Keir Starmer's personal motivations because now the official line as delivered by Elon Musk to the political right of the UK is Keir Starmer personally supported the grooming gang because he was too woke to prosecute them or whatever. Right? Now, if you're Chris Philip, now you have to be like, okay. It just, he was, he was unable to refute the allegation that he had led a series of grooming gangs because he was in a toboggan, rapidly moving away from the microphone.

I can't speculate about Starmer's personal motivations. Speculation, rumors, and conspiracies are not good enough. We need the truth and only a statutory public inquiry looking at this on a national basis will get the truth. And again, I don't want to go through, oh, well, what inquiries have been have been called for by whom and where and who said yes and who said no. And who has the right authority? Can it be old and can it be the like the national government? To go back to it's known that like the this story is used by like right wing

fucking like race baiters to like whip up panic about South Asians. And as far as I'm aware, most of what it exposed is critical failings in the sector of the state that's supposed to care for vulnerable young people. It didn't expose there's a special Pakistani brain lobe that makes you a groomer, which is what these people seem like they want to reveal. And they're not going to be, they're not going to let it go until there's an official government document that says, yes, the United Kingdom has agreed that being Pakistani gives you a special brain lobe that makes you a groomer.

That's the only place they want to stop at. And again, the question is with Badnock and Farage and Musk together, they all want to drive it towards that place as much as they can, and who's going to have the balls to stay on for longest? Right? And- It's much like the popular game Buckaroo, right? Except instead of a plastic donkey laden down with implements, it's a cyber truck laden down with fireworks, camping fuel canisters and cans of petrol. Yeah. I want to move on to one more thing. So we can, we can talk about a startup called Squibbler.

Oh, I beg your fucking pardon. Sorry, I wanted one more thing actually. They call me the Squibbler. Which is when I was looking into some of the recent writing about sort of Elon Musk, the sort of summary of Elon Musk talking about Starmer, one of the funniest things was in the article saying, Elon Musk tells Keir Starmer to leave farmers alone in tax route. That was written by a Times news reporter called Emma Yeoman. Really good. Amazing.

Yeah. Emma Yeoman. Beautiful. So we have, uh, we have Squibbler or, um, whoever it is in the Saudi Royal family that just like calls the wall street journal when they want to reveal like some insane shit about Neom has called the wall street journal again. Squib me. We do Neom next time. Yeah. Okay. All right. So Neom coming in the free episode.

We're squibbing. I feel the need to squib. Yeah. We're speaking that... Batman's mortal enemy, the squibbler. So... He's covered in damp squibs. Batman's mortal enemy, the squibbler, who pulls up...

Who does evil schemes that just don't go off. Hmm Yeah, they're very disappointing and that's why Batman hates him. Just like oh, I was pointless me returning off This is my time. Damn you squibbler It turns out he forgot to what Batman it's great news squibbler forgot to wire the explosives in the bank vault It's got ADHD. Damn it! You've distracted me from my girlfriend again. Getting charged with wasting Batman time.

It's not wasting police time, but it's just him. That's the only crime that Batman will actually kill you for. Everything else will chase you around and put you in jail, but Batman will fully put two bullets in your brain if you waste his time. I warned you, Squibbbler Albert's terminally ill These are precious moments every moment of my time you waste his time. I don't get with him All right, yeah, well this is that that's the thing that's better than what it actually is I wait, what could it possibly be? I wish that somebody

instead of funding the same kind of, you know, bullshit startups that we usually talk about, I wish that they had funded a Batman movie where he fights a villain who pisses him off by being shitty at being a villain. There used to be a chain of shops in the UK called Squibbler that sold those kind of cards. Oh, you mean Scribbler? Oh, it was Scribbler, you're right. No, no, no. For those cards where it's like, it's mom's birthday, she's had 14 gins, and then it's like a picture of a woman from the 50s falling over.

Yeah, yeah. If you were in Britain- Hilarious in 2011. If you were in Britain and you wanted a lewd pen, you would go to Scribbler. Yeah. Yeah, that's also not what this is. No. No, it's...

It's all lewd pens? Yeah. It's another of the AI writing tools, but this one has like more... This one has more about it that I wanted to explore. Okay. So Squibbler is an AI story writer, generate full length novels in minutes. Oh no. Squibbling away. The supercharged AI story writer that creates full-length books novels and screenplays is just a few clicks

Instantly ready for print and online. Don't don't don't squibble me a novel I don't I don't I don't want to read something that's been squibbled. Yeah, I mean oh wait It's like scribbled but then a stupid baby voice. Okay, gotcha. Squibble. Yeah. Curse you, Squibble. Curse you, Squibbler. You've wasted my time with an AI-generated novel.

The plot was very pedestrian. It's derivative. I'm trying to read my smut. Batman reading Slow Burn, Coffee Shop AU. No one wants to read Dean Koontz slash fiction. We could, okay, November said AI can never be good, but it can be funny. Could we get Squibbler to write us a book about, a book in the style of Dean Koontz, if he was an artist in this style of deal for literally. I mean probably, but I think it might be unethical.

The thing about this, right, I'm not so worried about, I do not fear the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks, I practice the guy who's practiced one kick 10,000 times. I don't fear Squibbler on the same, for the same basis that like, Spotify is the thing everyone uses and not Last FM. Almost solely because Last FM called the thing that you do when you listen to a song, a scrobble, right? So you, you scro- your Last FM wrapped would say something like, you scrobbled 50,000 songs this year, or whatever the fuck.

By the same token, I don't believe anyone is going to be squibbling anything, but I do think the second they come up with a less dumb name for it, they will absolutely be doing it. Scrubbling really feels like a word that you and Mattie Lubchanski would explain to me and Riley with a heavy heart. It's like, how do you know what squabbling is? I've scrubbed quibs you'll never believe. That's some shit from Master and Commander. Yes, you there, scrubrabble the quib.

Oh yes sir, right away sir. I'm a 10 year old veteran of combat. That's what they sound like in Master and Commander famously. Don't you know a man should never scrabble a quib, boy.