TRASHFUTURE - Stossel's Special File

Episode Date: September 25, 2018

It’s a session for the old heads this week, as Riley (@raaleh), and Milo (@Milo_Edwards), and Hussein (@HKesvani ) rejoin original host Charlie Palmer (@cfppalmer) to discuss mandatory wearable tech..., terrible libertarians, and the strange concept of conservative lunatic John Stossel being the author of American school children’s curriculum. Also, remember that your favourite idiot sons have a Patreon now. You too can support us here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture/overview Don’t forget that you can commodify your dissent with a t-shirt from http://www.lilcomrade.com/. You can also purchase useful kitchen implements from our socialist cookware sponsor, Vremi (https://vremi.com/). A message from Nate (@inthesedeserts): ‘I edited this episode. Hell is real and I live in it.’

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 We are not like okay guys before Charlie comes in just remember he thinks he is still a full-time host of the show and that this is episode seven or so all right we've just been on a very very long break and who's saying it's still a guest okay love to guess okay all right all right I think all right here he comes now hey how you guys doing it's been a while Charlie long I was a long saying how's it going man it's good I've been waiting for you yeah had joke it feels like a lot of time has passed yeah yeah no it's good that you're like you know we're still back we're still on the rooftop yeah still having
Starting point is 00:00:41 exact this exact one a non-alcoholic beer yeah absolutely yes I was gonna say you've you've gone up market you move on to the becks blue have you made that patreon work the cheeseboards kind of blue now but you know it's still good I mean Charlie as you know we've actually none of us have seen each other since you were last on the show no it's actually like you guys look a lot older I have not chowed just surprising I didn't like to say her same but I haven't since you left me me my smoking pure heel me my love every day me Milo and Hussein all have like insanely long beards and just like really long gray
Starting point is 00:01:13 hair long fingernails yeah all just like old prospectors just like wearing overalls with the butt flap down Riley can actually now type from six feet away because of his fingernails it's extraordinary it's really something to watch yeah it's efficient it makes him better at his job he can really slouch I'm actually like I'm actually in the middle of dying and crumbling to dust like in the Indiana Jones yes it did look a bit like that yeah you opened the holy grail of podcasting and you drank all the sarcophagus you drank all the sarcophagus juice absolutely but should the topical reference there it was
Starting point is 00:01:48 wonderful come on don't don't be mean to our guests Hussein I'm here to talk about smart stuff yeah we're just happy to have you back I got the invitation and I was like I wasn't gonna do the show but I saw on iTunes that people who listen to trash future also listen to Pod Save America and I was like god damn it I need to be in this orbit I just wish I hope one day we can like now that we're doing episode seven that we can get noticed by the Romaniacs yeah this is actually you've hit upon probably quite a quite a big problem with algorithms here because if you went on sort of things they have in common people would
Starting point is 00:02:21 probably work out that people who listen to trash future are also very likely to follow Elon Musk on Twitter mostly just for the statistically that's largely true all right shall we get into episode seven yeah can I say shall we cast you may say that should we cost we shall hello and welcome back once again to the trash future the podcast about how the lineup is classic yeah that's right you know one for the real heads this is this is for the real heads that's the actual day one I'm not even a day one I'm not even a day one this is we have we have Charlie Charlie Palmer the original
Starting point is 00:03:13 dripping custard vape juice guy yeah so that's still on my LinkedIn original dripping custard vaping custard I'm doing the story next week about LinkedIn rappers hang on hold on I'm just gonna delete the contents of the Google doc that is the show's structure for today because just talk about the LinkedIn rappers who only brought this up now okay okay so it's gonna come out at some point next week and I'm super excited about it but for the past like two and a half weeks I've been speaking to rappers who market themselves on LinkedIn as the funniest thing right because all those hose endorse my dick yeah so
Starting point is 00:03:53 there's like this one guy I think his legs like little shoddy right who little synergy he's a white rapper from Portland music production grime filthy yeah there's like a bunch of just weird stuff and like he's basically he bet you know it looks like a business profile and I've been talking to these guys and just trying to find out what the hell does LinkedIn kind of offer you that like SoundCloud doesn't actually it's really genius because they think they realized that like number one LinkedIn is where all the business people with money are right and as everyone knows business people with money love to get
Starting point is 00:04:35 rappers for their kids sweet 16 parties so there you go you know it's just like it's kind of this empty social media space where they can share everything and there's no competition because everyone's on SoundCloud and YouTube and stuff so actually it's kind of genius also the algorithm still really shit right so you can kind of actually hack it in a way that you can't with places that are more sophisticated LinkedIn is a really weird social network in the sense of well everyone else is everyone else every and every other social media platform is sort of like developed since 2008 yeah LinkedIn hasn't LinkedIn is
Starting point is 00:05:09 just about to discover like like like Newgrounds flash games and rage comics just literally like just introduced the whole like circle profile picture everyone else has that's like a new introduction for them you just have to hack the algorithm you just have to cleverly name your rap song like 15 ways to enjoy this rap banger going into Q4 I'm excited for when LinkedIn discovers like line break jokes or whatever when like Jomney Sun gets a YouTube LinkedIn Jomney Sun gets a LinkedIn profile I'm excited just excited for LinkedIn to actually become maybe that's the pinnacle maybe at the moment everyone's
Starting point is 00:05:44 like I'm bored of all of these other platforms yeah and everyone the worst of Twitter the worst of YouTube the worst of Snapchat the worst of SoundCloud is all now going to converge on LinkedIn and Oleg former CTO of the Daily Mail online is not going to know what's hit him what's an example of some of the lyrics that LinkedIn rappers are spinning give me some of their bars I don't know I haven't I haven't actually like looked at any of their songs yet because I've just started this but but I don't know when this episode's coming out but it might be out it might be out when the episode's out so we can put this out
Starting point is 00:06:16 it's like we need a full ep on this yeah personally personal okay we're going to do more on this but personally I can't wait to hear the musical styles of instead of machine gun Kelly high frequency algorithm trading Kelly sounds excellent you got I have so much we have to just charge right into it okay in the most really want to write a LinkedIn rap song now we'll try and become LinkedIn rappers and see who does the best in the next month all of all of our brown Peterson EP is dropping exclusively on like us sympathize here are 15 benefits if before 5 30 a.m. you rise yeah I mean I just think little custard dripping
Starting point is 00:06:51 vape juice guy is gonna own you all custard dripping vape yeah you got dripping vape in brackets you got your little custard dripping vape mix yeah exactly I've listened to the first episode if you want to know what that means yeah if for any other reason do not listen to the first day I know we are not as good at it it's not bad actually about the same at it so basically in today's been a lot of news today Theresa May has basically decided to do that what I could only call good fellas diplomacy and then gone into the you gone into the EU gotten made fun of on Donald Tusk's Instagram oh god yeah and then and then
Starting point is 00:07:35 left and then made a big speech about how like you guys are all pussies and and like you know you're fucking lucky I didn't make a speech demanding your respect while I was there because you'd have been so shook but I'm not in Salzburg anymore but damn if I was there and I wasn't scared then I would fucking own you and then so tomorrow's story is going to be about Theresa May has gone on like sweat on on on sway show uh to to like to just dunk on the haters 97.5 FM Theresa May social experiment going to the EU Salzburg then actually standing up she's gonna like fire
Starting point is 00:08:10 shots at like post Malone absolutely great hour and a half long interview with Charlemagne the god in Kanye's house little custard drip and vape exactly I will be there Theresa May feet little custard Theresa May goes on Theresa May goes on no jumper just being like yeah honestly like Salzburg was the fucking like streets and like the thing is I like wasn't feeling the beef at the time then when I got back to London I got pissed it's like she's just she's just the Johnny sack of British politics she's incredibly mad about that no good Donald Tusk running over there in Josie Brussels saying very uncomplementary
Starting point is 00:08:48 things about the size of my economy's ass it's a matter of respect no it's like it's like Brexit is they just it just wants to be like it's just it want it's it's about like what it is it's like you know the really fat like when Bobby Bacala tries to go and like beat up some like drug dealer that owes him money or whatever for selling on his corner and the drug dealer just kicks the shit out of him because Bobby Bacala is a fat piece of shit who just likes trains yeah likes true who loves trains and just has the only autistic Sopranos character and it's just it's just that's what watching this is like
Starting point is 00:09:22 and Downing Street was like big announcement at 145 yeah well the fuck was with that I think Ron was like election election and then but then Theresa May was just like yeah fuck those people in the EU you're lucky I got scared oh fuck no it's not the Sopranos it's the fucking thick of it you know like episode one of the thick of it where he's going to announce his like snooper force thing at the primary school and he calls this massive press conference and then they're like you can't announce that policy it's shit so you just have to think of something to say I think that's what Theresa May has done maybe that happened today yeah she was going to call an election and she bottled it and then she was like
Starting point is 00:09:56 Donald Tusk is a gay boy Theresa what was that nothing goodbye because the announcement was delayed wasn't it the announcement like there was an announcement at like 145 when it was supposed to happen going like oh by the way the announcement might be delayed maybe that is exactly what happened there anyway point is is that is that our awesome government is just continuing to be awesome it definitely not like a sort of parodic three stooges a misadventure but I wanted to get on because that's that was a surprise I have other other stuff okay in extremely surprising news did you know that a free speech fundamentalist libertarian has been accused of child abuse um specifically for violating age of sin that seems unlikely
Starting point is 00:10:42 that never happens no I think two and 48 hours a cryptocurrency aficionado writes writes a short story about having sex with a minor that was quote designed to provoke debate was a bitcoin minor who's amongst us that's some 2014 shit I don't say that I thought that was the latest joke it is 2014 because he's just come out of the toilet of course we're pretending it we're pretending it's 2014 that was significantly before this podcast began uh so I mean to be fair to the libertarians right it's not that they want to fuck kids it's that you know they just want to encourage fair free market competition between sexy ass kids and sexy ass adults and if that means fucking a few kids to ensure you know market equilibrium then so be it they don't want to
Starting point is 00:11:31 have kids they just want everyone to have the right to fuck kids this this one I have now uh cody wilson a 3d printed gun advocate uh and the founder of h3 advocate 3d printed guns they say like 3d printed guns have been oppressed for too long yeah identity politics for 3d printed guns that is the third gender um 3d the 3d printed gun guy uh cody wilson also the founder of patreon.com oh yes uh was a hashtag sign up to the trash feature feed was um was uh uh basically a arrest I think it was arrested or accused of having sex in an underage girl um he became a favorite in fringe circles I'm reading um from an article from friend of the show Kelly will uh cody wilson became a favorite in fringe circles after he started selling blueprints for 3d printed
Starting point is 00:12:22 guns and launched h3 on the now defunct platform he built as the number one funding platform for the alt right as a self-identified nrco capitalist wilson has increasingly aligned politically with the far right surprisingly I assume he gets offended if you call him far right though ranking union is in agent cody wilson too this time we're fucking kids is he a favorite among fringe circles because they've all got bowl cuts I remember do you remember um there was like so our good friend paul joseph watson then kind of came to our friend the the uh uh what's his name again uh cody wilson yeah he came to his defense um because he was because what did he say he basically insinuated that like this was a conspiracy theory um because he was a well
Starting point is 00:13:06 because obviously because he was advocating for guns right but then like another fucking libertarian got like called up on for like wanting to fuck kids too right yeah the cryptocurrency guy no there were two guys oh there were two guys there were many guys isn't it weird how there's this conspiracy theory to make all of these people who are like reactionary shitheads also attracted to kids like do they give them a shot and I think like there was some news that came out earlier this week someone had like seen a stream with with sargon of the card where he go where he basically says that like he would take the age of consent on a case-by-case basis in this kind of mythical libertarian what you'd like apply to the government to fuck a particular child and they would decide
Starting point is 00:13:46 if they would game for it or not so he was on like one of these like fucking like libertarian live streams that they all like you know but they all go on like because they don't have jobs i'm live streaming not paying my taxes it was like it was like some it was like some stream from like 2016-17 where he basically says that like he would he would apply states rights so that they could decide what the age of consent was oh my god so he basically he wants to create regulatory competition for the age of consent which is so rational the civil war wasn't about slavery it was about states rights specifically as they pertain to which kids we can fuck so wilson about race to the bottom wilson also described social media companies anti hate speech
Starting point is 00:14:26 rules as quote a form of violence more powerful than anything seen in charlottesville being dunked on is violent being dunked on is worse than getting killed by some weirdo incel with your car i was going to say that yeah wait wasn't in charlottesville wasn't there just actual violence yeah we had to describe things which aren't actual violence but when you have a violent Milo it was kind of fine yeah when you when you call u-kip alt right that's like hitting them with a car in their feelings does that mean i can promise not to call u-kip that anymore but i can run them over with a car would they agree to that deal because if so i mean by their logic so this so this makes sense like this is this is what the whole like drake in my feeling song was about right it was about
Starting point is 00:15:05 being dunked on online and how unfair it was taking your feelings Prius to the ribs drake also someone while drake is actually dancing alongside the car which has its door open as he does down there yeah to add to the conspiracy theory drake has always also under a bit of fire because um he is apparently dating a 17 year old and i think she's 18 now but they met when she was 17 and he sends flirty texts to millie bobby brown the little kid the like the teenage the small teenage girl from stranger things that's that's so cool um who's like but she's like 14 or something oh man so there we go that's hulk conspiracy theory right in agent kody wanks too those sex aren't from an adult so um so i wonder why you spent a lot of that conversation perfecting
Starting point is 00:15:50 that with the amazing franky munis all of milo's hits are all about like childlike child sex jokes i also have another one for the the uh the guns guy which was like when i want when i said you should give guns to kids what i meant is i wanted 10 year old boys to have incredibly jacked arms because it's hot so here's the most incredible thing about the about this gun idiot um he spent years in beryln with mounting feuds at the law over the legality of his 3d printed guns beginning in 2013 when he uploaded blueprints for a notoriously inaccurate printable plastic gun basically all of these guys in some ways are like like a self-limiting virus because they're in addition to being like reactionary fascists they're also really fucking stupid oh they're all
Starting point is 00:16:41 like wily coyote like they've built like a massive construction to shoot at the libs that just blows up in their face and they have to like rotate their nose back around from the back of their head to the front and they're like that's the thing is like every single every single 3d printed gun advocate at any given time has piano key teeth from me having a piano on them just like gun shell teeth like every every single like that's the amazing thing right i want to live in a libertarian utopia where i blow both my hands off because i'm like you know too i'm too angry at the government to go and buy a gun normally so i had to like build one out of like paper and gum and now i've got no fingers and that's freedom exactly yeah that's how it works anyway that's so that's uh
Starting point is 00:17:26 freedom to build 3d printed guns out of kids button um so i want to move on to uh another another another little little news hit another fucking pure hitter than fucking news straight into your veins news that's pure uh john hancock the uh you the north america's oldest insurer has basically decided on the declaration of independence named after him um not to be confused with matt hancock no not to be confused with matt hancock future future prime minister britain's oldest app developer well that's the weird thing matt i think matt hancock would kind of like what gets talked about in this article he would probably think it would make the nhs more efficient and
Starting point is 00:18:07 open to private isn't it lovely yeah let's go in the dms and ask him so yeah we're his friend of the show yeah i'm at hanko camp is here right now anything to say matt no never does never no he never has anything to say he just collects all the data on our phones good friend of the show so um basically john hancock this insurer has decided that they're only going to market interactive plans going forward now an interactive plan is should sound sinister and should sound sinister because it is uh it is a life insurance plan double bluff you know the old the old um hang on basically what you just said though is it sounds sinister yes well well i mean it does because basically an interactive plan is a life insurance plan where you have a wearable and they monitor
Starting point is 00:18:52 your health data that is sort of tracked from a fit bit more or less i love that they've gone from like we used to have terms for these things but just to keep evading new terms like now it's a wearable like what used to be just called a cloth a single cloth a cloth yeah so basically but basically like this is going to allow them to more or less like give a charge you more or less depending on your risk score at any given time um and what i know if you're doing coke if it's not supreme branded i'm not interested it's like and then your watch is like i heard that it's like i there's a high risk of him starting a restaurant with his friends and it's going to be so different because it's peruvian chinese yeah but then there might be a semi accidental fire in the restaurant
Starting point is 00:19:42 there what's that jason statham movie where he has to keep his heart rate above a certain level like too high voltage the two greatest movies ever made an incredible version of that agent kodi crank to join join us on kodi cranks where kodi has to keep his heart rate below 70 for his entire life to avoid health insurance premiums so privacy and consumer advocates have raised questions but whether insurers may eventually use this data i'm reading from reuters article here to select the most profitable customers while hiking rates for those who do not participate or who present high risks the insurance industry has said that it's it's pretty regulated and won't do this it promises pretty regular it's pretty fine yeah it's worry about it yeah don't work
Starting point is 00:20:26 to i mean we could do this but we won't insurance industry said ah don't worry about it insurance industry was like hey would we do that to you i fell off a truck i got this insurance there's iphone for you no so um john handcocks us life insurance customers and here's the most insulting thing about it because it's actually based on a british model because it's already here it exists here through this company called vitality um john handcocks us life insurance customers can choose from a basic vitality program in which customers log their activity in an app or it tracks their purchases of food on okado or whatever and in response they receive free movie tickets and gift cards for participating wow yeah right like we have we have essentially
Starting point is 00:21:12 locked ourselves in like in a digital prison where we have to like live like an instagram like lifestyle health fucking shit and what we get for it is um we can go see any one of these parodic agent cody banks movies wait what's the jason statham movie where he's in a digital prison i'm sure there is one there will be one the will be shot the shot crank redemption oh there is there is the one where he's uh he's in a prison and like he has to conduct death races with the other inmates to get out of the prison is called death race yeah is that what it's called it's imaginatively named very enjoyable it's like it's like extreme scrap heap challenge anyway so insurance right but it's in this case it is it is just another way in which the fact is
Starting point is 00:21:58 were it publicly available like as we talked about in our don't tell charlie last episode like we talked about in our last amazing you remember because our last episode was in like december december but in our last episode we talked about the potential of big data as a commons um and let's say let's say we were tracking health and fitness data and so on if we understood sort of on a population level health at any given time if that information was available to i don't know the nhs or something rather than an insurance company it could be used to actually improve people's lives rather than just you know reward them with some stupid trinkets in exchange for like keeping them in a digital prison where they have to like you know always have skinless chicken
Starting point is 00:22:39 breast for every meal or you know they're not going to get their little fucking treaty treat you can have your freedom from the digital prison or you can have whatever's inside this magic box which on the outside says agent kodi banks too agent kodi shanks i already i already made a um but agent kodi doesn't wank because that would raise his heart rate increases Jesus that's a concern isn't it um but this is we talked about this before we started recording which is that there's sort of the i mean i was going to say the dumb thing about this a dumb thing about this is that if you are somebody who you you have your wearable and your insurance company tells you you're going to die tomorrow so we're going to charge you this much for insurance uh because
Starting point is 00:23:25 it'll cost you that much in health bills you think fuck it i don't want insurance i'll just pay the health bills because it's pretty much the same and if you are obscenely healthy and your insurance company essentially tells you by the way you're obscenely healthy and you will probably need to never claim on your insurance you go okay why the fuck do i need insurance so all insurance becomes is paying your health bills through an insurance company and if those and if we still pull risk across the entire population with perfect information then what we've created is a universal basic service yeah yeah it's almost as though the tech that technological development renders things like insurance which profit off of uncertainty irrelevant guys this
Starting point is 00:24:01 is great news all we need to do is just tell this to the insurance companies and they'll realize that we should just have a universal basic system and shut down has anyone got the number for that dashed from the vitality ads we've sorted it out we've solved it caveman and the get um we're going to put that caveman and that gecko out of a job though that's a shame yeah well they'll be featuring in some videos that i'm making my new film agent cody wanks three i i i told you guys i was going to have a surprise for you you did uh we're saying this is going to especially delight you i think it's going to be riley's dick oh it is which i've seen before yeah me too have you seen it i think i probably have yeah i've seen a lot of the dm's join our patreon
Starting point is 00:24:48 $15 patrons only that's the 15 that's what you get at the $15 tier it's not even a picture riley will actually cut it off and mail it to you van goff style um okay who wants to transform your life with jay shetty's personal mentorship program oh me i guess what is that my veins you want it slammed into you don't i always know is the answer jay shetty i always know what to get you who's saying i mean you know is it my going away present or like next well in november you're going back to the bowl present yeah uh no jay shetty's weekly guidance will help you find clarity master your relationships live with purpose and achieve the success you deserve damn all i ever wanted and my dad never said
Starting point is 00:25:35 that i deserved we haven't talked about jay shetty in a while he's saying you want to give the the good listeners or a fresher without libeling him so i'm the only member of trash future that jay shetty follows because i'm already one with big dick energy um and i think he's and i think he's intimate i think he's a $15 patrons will attest i think i think i think he's intimidated by me and the fact that despite the fact that i was circumcised i don't give a shit yeah because to be honest you don't have to have a big physical dick to have big dick energy right and he knows that and he's afraid of them so are you confusing the idea of having a big dick with having a big foreskin shut up shut up i've got a really long ass foreskin you actually have an
Starting point is 00:26:14 extremely long foreskin and i any all you count it you do count it it's more of a five skin to be honest with you you know there are guys like this is another like story that i kind of wanted to do and i might go back to but there was this facebook group of guys who like got their foreskins restored and they would share their pictures of their foreskins with each other and they would comment on and it was kind of beautiful in a weird way because like some of them like saw art in the foreskin it was just like wow it's so beautiful and delicate like veal um especially like semi-vegan leather isn't it yeah yeah apparently especially like the synthetic stuff yeah so anyway um yes Jay Chessy so Jay Chessy is um he is what we call like a life but he calls himself like a lifestyle
Starting point is 00:26:57 guru yeah but he's got the perfect name for being a LinkedIn rapper though that's really good yeah i mean he has like he has a pretty packed LinkedIn so like he can call himself like a lifestyle guru he can call he's famously called himself an urban monk because he went to he went to go hang out with the monks for a bit and then he decided to go get a job in the city like all good monks do um he sometimes calls himself a life coach he is inspired by like tony robbins but he comes from like so he comes from like that sort of tradition and we've kind of profiled him on the show before we've kind of featured some of his videos his videos are usually just like you know self help things so it's things like if you believe you can achieve and you know i had a negative mindset but then
Starting point is 00:27:39 when i decided not to have a negative mindset my my life got like so much better and it basically ignores the fact that like this type of advice really only works when like everything else in your life sort of is going for you so you know if you have like the job and you have the money and you live in like a city where there's lots of opportunities and stuff then maybe like a positive outlook on life might help you but for the majority of people who don't have that who have serious mental health conditions or who are in a situation where like you know they're on like shitty like low you know non non-contract jobs like basically the Jay Shetty lifestyle will not work if you work in amazon warehouse this is an example of like you know mark said religion was the opiate of the
Starting point is 00:28:19 masses because it was the thing that sort of dulls the pain right and this and so Jay Shetty is doing something very similar where he's saying you know you can basically if you wake up early and listen to like two different audiobooks in different years on 1.5 speed and run 10 kilometers and read these hundred books and have this mindset you too can be a ceo yeah it's the same it's the same principle it's this dumb thing isn't it of like if you can motivate yourself to have a routine you will end up with enough motivation to have a productive routine so you can join the army so i think the key to his positive outlook is actually that Jay Shetty has one one weird trick and this is why you know companies hate him right he has one weird trick which is that
Starting point is 00:28:57 to be with him yeah any any him in his army of you know local moms hate him very niche reference right that's that's one for no that's one for just me and charlie that's just me and you yeah um yeah so he because he has this he has this one weird trick right which is that any sums of money he receives he rounds them up to the nearest million dollars as as we remember the classic Jay Shetty line i was recently offered a million dollars might have been more might have been less it was less well if he wants to get a million dollars now you can join and i'm reading from the button here join Jay's genius coaching today for thirty nine dollars a month wow you too can be it's an oddly specific price it's like a phone contract so that is um yeah so it's he calls it
Starting point is 00:29:47 genius coaching uh it includes Jay's personal book notes where every single month you can tap into Jay's library and discover what he's reading and receive all of his personal notes from his books it's like his own commie book horn again wait hang on so that's stuff he did like has to hand anyway yes he's not even like making stuff for the course it's just like well i've got this shit lying around i might as well make people pay to educate them with it because if you know that's because that's what i realized right like we could all be a genius for thirty nine dollars a month like actual genius isn't a word that means anything and if you want to be a genius for thirty nine dollars a month you wouldn't believe what that'll get you on the trash future patreon
Starting point is 00:30:23 unbelievable thirty nine dollars a month on this i would have minus three dollars left at the end of the month so that would or if you round up to the nearest million dollars a million dollars exactly yeah so i mean i he as part of this uh he actually offers a master class that includes um a life audit which we're going to run now oh oh yeah yeah hell yeah yeah good feature well i'm really good my baby very good at me the key for the life audit is all about understanding the problem or challenge remember this is for geniuses so i don't know if anyone's gonna understand this please review my life spreadsheet this one out yeah you know so if you're not a genius just fast forward in the podcast please you know we need some theme music for
Starting point is 00:31:10 Jay Shetty uh oh i have to be Jay Sean it's got to be something by Jay Sean because that's who i picture in my head when i think of Jay Shetty so we're all the same the same person key one related to Shilpa Shetty life life audit this is this key is all about understanding the problem or challenge that you're trying to solve let's explore the key areas of your life and then he does this really genius thing where he says personal work and finance family friends health and spirituality and then you rate them all out of 10 which is what a genius would do wait there's a whole section just for family friends my dad's mate chris from down the pub uh he's all right give him a seven do they qualify if you're not related to them but you still weirdly call them uncle
Starting point is 00:31:55 family stroke family stroke friends does does it count if you've been pushed to the edge because all your friends are dead does it count if you tried so hard and got so far is this one weird family friend who uh he makes 3d printed guns and he always makes me call him uncle but in a way that makes me a bit uncomfortable to be honest linkedin linkedin rapper okay so uh personal i know i want you to be a genius and can you rate and now how are you doing personal can you rate it one to ten uh personal um i i i like to get pretty personal a lot of the time i'd give myself is this pizza size uh or no never on never on pizza size yeah that was the question yeah always large always big pizza energy bpe um no i like to get personal uh in terms of
Starting point is 00:32:45 like saying really rude and unpleasant things to people i don't like at least an eight okay who's saying rate yourself on personal out of ten how personal are you getting i feel like you're not i don't really like talking to people i don't think you're very personal i don't even like talking to you know you guys so maybe like a two yeah i think that's a girl from bitcoin to just introduce how much of a person um now uh charlie yeah i'm gonna say uh be a genius okay um i want you to give me a spirituality score out of ten oh um i think i'm a seven for spirituality okay actually yeah is that uh is that 140 proof wow yeah anyway well you really fucked up the terminology on that one sorry yeah not a genius you can't do this class um i don't remember that being one
Starting point is 00:33:37 of the metrics actually so uh if we could go by the rules of the test sorry come on mate yeah um no it's i mean this sorry this is pretty important stuff the important thing about self help is you can't fuck up no that's true there are no wrong answers here right it's true and this again this is how we're going to overcome material conditions the genius way by rating our our relationship with our family and friends out of ten um as i consider all the listeners my my family and friends i'm going to rate it ten out of ten for our beautiful handsome pod patreon subscribers we need to we need to stop plucking the patreon so much it's weird i will never see the fifteen dollar dick viewers we need money uh so i we're not going to go through uh every every
Starting point is 00:34:19 element of the life audit personally but personally uh individually but you know just so long as we can understand right like more or less how we're doing this it's the genius a genius task of rating a very broad element of your life out of ten and then deciding where you want it to be next year wait so it doesn't ask you any specific questions is it literally just if you rate yourself higher than you're more of a genius yes so personal the specific question basically the specific question it asks is basically it says personal and there's a number zero and it goes all the way up to ten and each of those is is a specific question is personal on this number for you that's the specific question i can now mind blown yeah it's crazy that's wild
Starting point is 00:35:01 shit i i feel like he smoked a lot of weed is the test actually that you just need to be smart enough to understand the test i think this is really one of those uh you know um uh tests where you sort of you sort of pass if you write your name right like it's it's like um it's like a lot of u k degree courses where you just sort of get it to one wait now it's it's the fucking it's the fucking blade runner test like the last question is like you see a turtle on its back yeah this is the j shetty right out of ten for success this is the j tell me about your mother this is the j shetty void comp test for like for like future instagram influencer business geniuses yeah it's exactly what this is build them in factories they would be the best instagram influences
Starting point is 00:35:40 like because they would just be common so uh i was hanging out i think you're really underestimating that this may already be pretty common so right here's the thing um instagram you know that there's now and there's now a bit of instagram for everything because um so a friend of the show adan tako jones and i last night were sitting around and uh my girlfriend had bought a copy of the anglers times as a joke and we were laughing so much reading the anglers times that we decided to find like like instagram fishing influencers oh yeah there are all these like hot hot girls of fishing instagram and stuff and dudes who are like posting like motivational stuff about how they're improving their fishing game and like really technical analysis of like what stuff they're
Starting point is 00:36:24 using one guy caught this massive fish and we're like we need to leave a comment and so adan and i looked up in the anglers times just random fishing terminology that we didn't understand we were like what were you using there mate uh like fucking uh ttx09 boilies or or a rolled up shrimp krill and he was like nah mate and replied with some similarly complex jargon we were like have we just passed ourselves off as like fishing instagram this is this is why you did an audit you identified your weakness so on fishing instagram you were a three out of ten yeah at most and then you improved yourself so you made yourself a fishing instagram eight out of ten and now you're gonna have a million dollars give or take yeah i've never caught so much as a stripper are you which is a type of fish
Starting point is 00:37:06 i found out yesterday so are you now a fishing influencer milo maybe i guess all fishermen are kind of fish influences are you a fishing thought fishing stuff so wait no it's a thought but it's that hoe on the other bank so here's the thing you we wouldn't be a genius if we just rated a bunch of vague shit out of ten by the way this costs thirty nine dollars a month oh we wouldn't be a genius a month a month yeah because thirty nine dollars a month you get you sort of do this but then you also like get guided meditations and genius master classes from whoever wrote this cool you get to do the test every month don't memorize the test that's not fair so uh key number two is the life edit which is basically like you know that cult synonym or like struggle set it's like a
Starting point is 00:37:50 malice struggle session where you just sort of get abused struggle session a cult uh the mat well no the malice stroke not the podcast struggle session uh the mal mat but struggle session they're listening are a cult but they do listen um you're a cult you're not a cult you're nice you're a cult nice cult a yakult they don't have me back anyway you're a cult in mal in malice in malice china you'd have a struggle session which is like you know everyone around the village would gather around you and sort of yell at you about all your faults so wow jay shetty wants you to have your own struggle session with yourself oh yeah i know yeah and identify the area of those those five elements um that you identified out of ten where you had the biggest gap which is your life edit
Starting point is 00:38:36 yeah let me just cut a whole thing out of your life like well i'm really bad at being personal so i'm just gonna no longer do that i'm just never i'm gonna stop hanging out with my family friends i'm gonna focus on my strengths and finally i'm you know what i'm finally going to make a better 3d printed gun that doesn't blow off my entire arm yeah instead of making a 3d printed gun i will spend the day in prayer and pray for a 3d printed gun i will pray for a loosening of sexual consent laws see what we've actually done is we've we've sort of you see the thing is we've actually been double genius because we've blended two steps we've blended the life edit with the life debit that we've paired problem with solution actually we're double genius more than jay shetty people
Starting point is 00:39:22 should actually pay us monthly to listen to our dumb shit double jump double that's good but just 15 dollars a month so ronnie's wine what about it what do you need to debit subtract or deduct from your life to make the life edit possible you just given three synonyms at the start of that to just show off that he knows three words for the same thing he's totally a thesaurus guy oh yeah he is he is fucking roger himself that sounds like an ikea furniture i feel i feel like we've sort of done the life debit which is um which is you have to you know understand where the toxic people are in your life and understand how you're bad at like you know your um your weird sexual proclivities make you bad at making 3d printed guns oh wait this is just the the shitty
Starting point is 00:40:06 tweets that go viral that's like you just need to cut toxic people out of your life like when your mom tells you that like you should wash like cut that bitch out it's about self-care is this why you didn't have me back for a while this is um this is also like uh uh uh uh like sovereign citizen tax protesters are just like i'm cutting the government out of my life and i'm declaring i'm declaring myself or republic um so i think we've kind of done that we've understood we've understood what like the weird 3d printed gun pedophile needs to do to improve his life so what are the life credit what's what is the what does this guy have to introduce to his life oh is it um heroin
Starting point is 00:40:48 i think that would make jay shetty better if jay shetty had like a wild heroin addiction i would respect him so much more is he is he under or over 27 i i think he's over well she's already he's missed the boat on that then well he's if he'd have died of a heroin overdose at 2070 would have been cool well it's it's it's true that 30 odd it's just sad there is it is jim Morrison jimmy hendrix there is there is a certain kind of like motivational business idiot um who is just so annoyingly banal that i'm desperate for one of them to have a dark underbelly how is there i mean there's no way that that isn't the case i just or at least a really sumptuously soft cashmere underbelly jay shetty actually a goat listen to the bonus episode next week where we investigate
Starting point is 00:41:39 what are the three things we think kody wilson needs to introduce to his life in order to turn it all around last name the bank agent kody uh franky munis uh young kids uh and a gun that works absolutely so the big three the big three the final because how you combine them is up to you it's like the three primary i swear to god if you let any of these kids go point the gun at the kids franky so now remember this is for geniuses you're not the boss of me now you're not the boss of me now you're not the boss of me now and you're not so big but you're still too old to have sex with these kids do you like there could be like a dark version of dark jay shetty no no dark dark malcom in the middle well like he goes insane and like he's walking
Starting point is 00:42:30 around the house where like you're not the boss of me and he's like he's got in joker makeup oh that's so twisted that'd be really good they should they should make that cramston would do it oh yeah totally i mean i brendan o'neill could be the head writer perfect um so based just a review though welcome in the middle agent for um for a dollar forty a day uh you can get the kind of genius advice that's basically figure out what's going on in your life and fix it that's more or less what this is but it takes five steps and it costs a lot of money for the price of half a cup of starbucks coffee half a cup of starbucks soup so right finally and this is a big part of the genius thing you have to write a list of three things you're grateful for ah they're all in the
Starting point is 00:43:16 room with me now get out i didn't know you had three balls no it's just two balls and hossain i'm grateful i'm grateful for 3d printed guns um i'm grateful for the uh rebuilding men's foreskins movement um and i'm also grateful that the stussy logo looks a lot like the isis flag i can i have the actually i feel so strongly about this that can i have one choice for each of the dimensions of the printed gun oh yeah no printed guns in flatland here i'm very thankful for the fact that despite the fact that this franchise should have been died a long time ago weird dc films about the joker are still being made they just keep rebooting it jarrod less they're still making music and batman hangs dong in the new comic oh yeah batman had his dick out batman gets batman
Starting point is 00:44:08 got his dick out and we keep on getting more and more twisted with the joker like i bet like you know if you're the joker your homepage is t-shirt hell.com like that like that's your default search engine yeah i mean like films are just being designed by markov chains now aren't they that's the whole like can we just can we just make our own i just want to make our own films that like no one else would make like abu bacharal bag daddy daycare man hey yo what if what if we made a this toys haram all the kids are crying one of the kids has been thrown off the roof of a car park well ukip ukip's policy to create muslim only institutions in britain which it seems to want to do even though it doesn't like that um ukip is actually owning the muslims by building a
Starting point is 00:44:54 giant state-funded mosque yeah it's like the ukip's plan to make just muslim versions of everything means that actually what they have done more to build a caliphate than abu abu bacharal bagdadi has ever done we're accelerationists that libeling abu bacharal bagdadi do we have to give him right of reply i'm on the show he probably might he's got on his plate he has yeah definitely he might phone in he'll be like he'll be like i'm a busy man but i've listened to your stupid show i would know i've read your emails i didn't appreciate the tone abu bacharal bagdadi should go on adam 22's podcast and talk about his talk about his beef with like with the ayatollahs doesn't abu bacharal bagdadi live next door to here i think he's around here somewhere isn't he yeah he
Starting point is 00:45:38 sometimes shows up and he just keeps demanding rent yes yeah yo so um are you if you're ready to change your life you can join the genius community today um which actually i think is the ukip conference because they're also rational yes um for just over a dollar a day you'll have exclusive access to live weekly coaching sessions with j a monthly genius membership which that doesn't seem like a feature that just seems like the product you stop being a genius if you don't know it's like no it's it's it's j shetty is basically offering the flowers for algeron treat oh yeah you're halfway through describing quantum physics and suddenly you just start talking about poo and you're like oh sorry my genius is which you must have run out and i mean
Starting point is 00:46:17 let me just pay pal them something else you're halfway through describing quantum physics and then just all of a sudden you start studying like yo so success actually is about like a mindset and really when you think about it quantum physics is about believing in yourself and now to explain success agent cody banks have you guys speak for everyone i say you're crazy for this one j roco sifredi and agent cody bangs oh yeah hey uh are you guys uh you guys new and down so you get to this ski slope roco sifredi and his most tenuous crowbar yet yeah so you also get access to all past content in the genius library which is over 30 hours it's almost a work week wow mm damn 30 30 hours it's a huge ass mix tape that's a fucking no good that no good roco
Starting point is 00:47:06 sifredi over in brussels keeps coming over to the uk and asking girls if they like dick it's a matter of respect i love that rock roco sifredi roco sifredi like hi oh my she's a beautiful creature yeah a horse that is a nice you were a fucking horse told me by which i mean she was a horse and i fucked her she was new and down oh man that is that is like that's so tangled that web of references like roco sifredi can't spell horse anyone's fucked some horses by mistake i really just want to see a reimagining of the sopranos where where the part of ralf sifredo was played by roco sifredi if you listen to this and you can prove that you got every single thing that those two said in the last minute and a half there was definitely a tenor in it for you to
Starting point is 00:47:58 cap things off today i wanted to go into because we're all geniuses now so we're all smart enough to finally read reason magazine oh yeah the magazine for people who love music editing and we are we are because we because we've been talking about extremely rational libertarians being a genius and all this today reason if you don't know is a libertarian magazine that would not exist in an actual free market if it were not funded by a network of shadowy right wing think tanks presumably yeah more or less it's funded by a bunch of people who just have one simple honest goal to let 15 year olds fuck whoever they want is that libel i think it might be libel we don't know who funds it can we fuck can we libel people they know they know i think how
Starting point is 00:48:51 about like you know who you are i think the policy the stop fucking the kids the policy goal of reason magazine uh is probably is basically just to provide like a form of universal basic income to like people who got seas at Yale but carried a cane the whole time wait isn't isn't ubi though like well it's not don't libertarians hate that well yeah they do but this is for their friends just like all concern all conservatives want criminal family friends section of the jsheddie matrix like yeah all criminals all all all republicans really want like you know a really nice comfortable existence for people they know did you just accidentally say the word criminal instead of the word republicans yeah we live so far down the rabbit hole did you realize that we
Starting point is 00:49:32 live in a society is that you're doing a Cicero like a criminal i meant republicans so the this is this is the best way to understand reason magazine um the editor kathryn mongu ward please i just approved expense reports containing a a silver monocle b a trip to the strip club and see a book about lock yeah being the editor of reason is exactly like you'd imagine terrible was that was that i'd like to think that was like all on the same night for the same person almost certainly hmm i'm going to the strip club but i may find these strippers less than engaging well like i must take a book to read but what if my eyesight should fail me in that family dimly establishment exactly it's like this is this is this is the magazine the pirate who works
Starting point is 00:50:23 the reason magazine this eye patch monocle combo is a really strong one i feel for when you're really interested in just seeing in one way i just imagine to go wearing an eye patch and a monocle on the same eye this monocle is useless so the monocle fails me once again so reason is is a magazine for people who have like a naturally occurring fedora and who like who like picked up a british accent from watching dr who or as they call it dr whom one fedora is actually a fedora so i wanted to um i yeah of course they're going into a strip club and then ostentatiously reading john lock with a monocle so like that the strippers like are impressed by them um but then they're like no she actually like really likes me like i go and obviously i have to like you know pay her
Starting point is 00:51:09 for a lap dance but no she likes she really likes me i just why i go all the time i'm just bored of like she keeps texting me and it's like i don't know how to deal with it i'm not asking for itunes gift cards yeah the ultimate pay big thing the itunes gift card by that by that thing like my grandma is like a pay pig for me throughout my childhood like itunes gift card is the gift you get given by someone who has no idea what a gift is yeah so let's let's let's talk turkey by which i mean uh heard again the article the article the article that i think most embodies that most embodies the the reason magazine outlook three cheers for price gouging during hurricane florans hip hip all right it's called supply and demand i mean you can you can
Starting point is 00:51:57 just see you can just hear that title clon descending to you yeah i mean it's like it's very like it's not good is it it's it's like saying three cheers for something that's just so obviously bad so saying three cheers for rain yeah well let's think this is the this is the the the essence of these people it's also the essence that's really that name sorry no make him sit in it that was full make Milo sit in his bad joke make him know his share yeah rub my nose in it so but this is this kind of take it's the same one that like brendan o'neill does which is it's mistaken being it's mistaken being contrarian and slightly erudite for being smart where it's like oh everyone thinks this so i'm gonna say the opposite thing which means actually
Starting point is 00:52:54 i'm better than you swine who like think that actually people should you know have water in a disaster zone i think i'll find i'm not disheveled i'm in fact heveled so this is by a guy called john stossel and i'm so interested in this guy uh he's named as everyone at the worstest magazine really strong names yeah um so john stossel joined reason in 2017 and he's the former host of fox businesses stossel and abc's 2020 sounds like a german cake he has won 19 emmies and authored several best-selling books including most recently know they can't why government fails but individuals succeed can we as i think trey mclure would have written in the simpsons can we also talk can we i feel like we shouldn't ignore the fact that that is a shitload of emmies
Starting point is 00:53:43 but i don't have a joke i'm sure they were all just so many so we're gonna be fair to john stossel he has a lot of emmies so many emmies stossel writes that people who engage in excessive pricing face up to 30 days of jail time uh said north california's attorney general now i don't praise greed but pursuing profit is simply the best mechanism for bringing people the supplies we need without rising prices indicating which materials are most sought after suppliers don't know whether to rush in with food bandages or chainsaws i actually get that a lot yeah because occasionally people are hungry at work and they're like can you just go grab me something and i come back with just bandages and chainsaws and they're very annoyed i know it's it's like it's the
Starting point is 00:54:23 classics it's like the snog maria void of supplies it's like chainsaws bandages or food yeah and you just have to arbitrarily guess yes they're already given three people you have to give one to each of them was that this is the libertarian point um that says prices are not actually money surprisingly they're actually just information interestingly the three things i value most in my life are food bandages and chainsaws i mean the bandages might make it necessary for the free genders right so but this is i'm what i'm going to do is i'm going to give i'm going to give hessane hessane the food because it's important to feed a great mind i'm going to give charlie the chainsaw because it seems like it's handle it and i'm going to give riley the bandages because he's cut his penis off
Starting point is 00:55:07 for the patreon listeners he has done thank you to our loyal listener a joke i get so this is but when stossel here says prices are not money they're information he's essentially just forgetting that um our money that they are that they are in fact money that they represent a claim on goods and services that they're radically unequally distributed and that we need it to live like yeah it it's it's a this is a the libertarian mindset is that all economy is that it's abstracted to the point of meaninglessness that all economies basically occur in a frictionless vacuum and everyone's mind plays by memento rules because it's all reset every day and outside of that circumstance libertarianism is completely incoherent because prices actually are more than information
Starting point is 00:55:53 they represent power john stossel just has tattoos all over his body reminding him about stuff like remember to buy chainsaws and bandages remember to renew subscription to jay shetty course otherwise geniusness will disappear overnight it's just it's just it's just it's like the joker but instead of twisted tattooed on his head he just has taxation his theft tattooed on his head the brass brendan o'neill no brendan o'neill definitely has twisted but then no he has triggered twist tattooed on his head but john stossel does also have brendan o'neill tattooed on his chest that joke i think john stossel if he could would have a full back piece just a brendan o'neill like with a raised eyebrow reading a book that says economics 101 just
Starting point is 00:56:34 brendan o'neill as that like wanderer above the fog painting but and another another conservative trope you know how i got these scars some of those kids have longer nails than you think another conservative trope um is about loving genius children who own libs by um by be speaking truth to them um maybe by by being entrepreneurs and saving up to buy that that's a big part of it so here's where this i mean because this article is or is just the usual like yo how would we how would we ever get emergency supplies to people if they didn't have to pay $40 for a bandaid i've persuaded this seven-year-old to agree with me therefore i'm right here's the thing you're not here's the thing milo you're not far wrong oh god that's worrying that's rare fortunately
Starting point is 00:57:17 kids who learn about free markets via the stossel in the classroom charity no better we ran a contest inviting students to write an essay or make a video about price gouging some pointed out that price controls make it hard for people everywhere to get the goods they need as opposed to extremely high prices making it hard for people everywhere to get the goods they need just take out a loan from a payday lender like choose your own adventure isn't it what reason would you like to have for not having the goods you need um you can't actually change the outcome but you can just change the reason it's like you died why would you like to have died currently you're on covered in your own sick in a nazi uniform and come so i'm i'm gonna say these are
Starting point is 00:58:01 if now if anyone is is familiar with the with the common trope that conservatives have really weird names um we are we're about to hear a couple um so you know so i'm quoting here uh this is from someone's video essay this is from the it video essay of 17-year-old annalise kafod wow how are you spelling kafod k-o-f-o-d good name in modern days in modern days you see countries like venezuela suffer from the fact that their governments place price controls on all items yeah that's definitely what went wrong in venezuela yeah also you don't see people suffering in the united states because um private industry places price controls on items making them high no con isn't the u.s the one where aren't they the country where everyone can afford everything
Starting point is 00:58:54 are they that one uh yeah the other especially health care yeah especially health care you know now they have like a watch that tells them what when they can't do cocaine or or wank she watch a really exciting frank immunus film which is actually one of his better works yeah she won the high school video award which in my opinion is better than any um you know well considered and evidenced economic argument that you know the rate of profit tends to fall under capitalism we are live at the mtv hs v ma so after researching prices and disasters now here's our sponsor john stossel now here's a fucking name who just really loves kids loves them after researching prices yeah
Starting point is 00:59:35 after researching prices and disasters maggie pronsage what that was that was that was just a cough maggie pronsage of grove city pennsylvania winner of their high school essay contest said actually the price gougers are the moral ones we're owned we're owned guys i mean should we go home now or should we get food on the way i mean i'm on the way it depends how much it costs you think all of these libertarian doesn't actually all of these libertarians dream of living in a world in which like every single price is perfectly mapped to supply and demand at any given point and like and and you are and nothing is predictable and everything is left to the whims of the market because in a in the world of more marketization all of their friends who
Starting point is 01:00:30 also got c-minuses at yale but went to georgetown prep or or all their friends in the case of the uk who were just you know also did like a weird wanking induction and oxbridge i'll get to like you know agent kody wanks for varsity oxbridge who who else out there who was rowing for their college yeah whoops did it stop doing that stop libeling stop using 2014 era internet joke no so yeah so actually the price coulgers are the moral ones yeah owned yeah owned yeah so whoops but or perhaps not owned depending on the free market yeah absolutely um because it's this is it's just the same thing where it's the entire libertarian response to any any social argument is basically just contradiction it's just no it's not yeah there's like a you can have like
Starting point is 01:01:21 a sort of like a huge riot going on and libertarian comes in and goes but what if there were less rules but so i actually i looked up stausel in the classroom okay uh and there was it's kind of weird and it should sound weird because it is weird uh i don't think yeah years years ago in 2000 a piece in salon was written exposing stausel in the in the classroom for the sort of propaganda hack work that it is and it's still an ongoing concern exposing stausel in the classroom something which john stausel himself would never do stausel in the classroom is a series of study this is from the um from the article stausel in the classroom is a series of study aids funded by the highly conservative palmer art chi tester fund that includes stausel's popular why would you fund this
Starting point is 01:02:13 includes stausel's popular which was very compelling and you wanted to test some chi it's yeah you wanted to get you want to align your chakras um that includes stausel's popular abc news special reports accompanied by study guides so basically schools were buying the news uh from but accompanied by um propaganda written by it turns out the heritage foundation in the kato institute and he would always begin with his favorite catchphrase you don't stausel the half what are you doing i don't i don't get that nobody gets that so it's a David asshole not a good one you don't ask a lot so stausel in the classroom
Starting point is 01:03:01 cost only 300 for a school to license but is funded by this network of think tanks and stuff so the study guide section and robber barons for example based on stausel's quote greed special again this is for people who think that wall street was a cool movie about a guy with a sweet job isn't that something you could get at mcdonald's in the mid 2000s freedom prize pre michael more so this special doesn't actually mention the word monopoly in a case study on john d rockefeller the word pops up but only to argue that oil tycoon rockefeller wasn't actually a monopolist but at least stausel takes time to explain that often monopolies come but not because of market failure but because of government favors for business so essentially it's just it's it's
Starting point is 01:03:41 the educational equivalent of putting your hands over your eyes and your fingers in your ears getting i guess a couple of extra hands because it's the free market fuck it why not a little a little man with a moustache a monocle on a top hat drives past in a shoe and he's like no no it's probably just because of uh because of government subsidies yeah fucking subsidies yeah another guide accompanying stausel's scaring herself to death snidely attacks the government for changing dietary requirements to emphasize fruits and vegetables over meat and dairy products so we get these are the people no these are the people who are just like giving who are giving themselves like clogged arteries to own the lips hey kids listen up i'm john stausel and i'm here to tell
Starting point is 01:04:21 you that eating vegetables is gay you should just eat 14 steaks like me and my friend jordan peterson isn't that right jordan yes i completely agree that in fact eating vegetables will turn you into a weak half man and you should embrace living the life of a lobster by holding your breath and crawling around on the ocean floor consuming only mollusks so that's just it right these guys they will fixate a one thing and then they'll just sort of abstract away every other thing about about about reality and then they'll just load their premises so that their conclusion seems like the only natural one and that's why they all love lock because he did the same thing he was like well he like lock was the original like incel libertarian going to a strip club with
Starting point is 01:05:12 a monocle because he was the he was he was like actually uh if you look at it rationally private property is the only way society can work when he just worked backwards and it was like well i'm going to make a whole bunch of assumptions about humans that mean that private property is the only thing that can work but it doesn't because we know that you can provide supplies to like disaster victims without charging them a hundred dollars for a bottle of evian you know we know it lib owned ah damn did you take stossel in the classroom hell yeah i did that's the thing because it is many if not most of the 35 to 40 footnotes accompanying each guy just cite the heritage foundation kato institute hoover institution young america's foundation
Starting point is 01:05:55 and wall street journal op-ed pages you're just giving your giving kids the news and then like the national review more or less the famous the famous paper eating vegetables is gay yo stossel at al 2013 you know what's cool acid reflux oh yeah god that man my shit bricks i mean it's if i don't eat vegetables with like one meal i have like the worst poo of my life or it poo yeah think about this is it all of these people like every libertarian is just is just fueled by spite right because all of this is an and made yeah because all of this is just like oh you fuck you you can't tell me to eat fucking vegetables actually it's okay to like you know let some people die because you're the free market is actually rational they only eat really angry spiteful cows maybe we
Starting point is 01:06:44 maybe society should start telling them that they really must eat something it's funny how like yeah they don't they all of their views aren't to do with like what is good they're only to do with like what what the free market should theoretically bottom out so if the free market bottoms out actually for optimum free market everyone just should just eat handfuls of their own poo they'd be like that is the optimum society they wouldn't be like hang on a second what if not eating your own poo is a more enjoyable way to live they'd be like no timmy get in here and eat your poo the market bitch you signed up for this class welcome to stossel in the bathroom all right it's me from jog stossel you may remember me from such informational films as
Starting point is 01:07:38 eating vegetables is gay one two three and four for which i want emmies i mean why have you made stossel a homophob that and uh who's saying do you want to say something about libertarianism yeah it's it's shit and like if your son is if your son is a libertarian you should you should cut his dick off your son is a libertarian he eats only liberty and and in all likelihoodness he's probably going to become a pedophile so yes you can't libel the concept of libertarianism i mean it's the the the best thing to remember is that libertarianism is still a self limiting disease because they're all really fucking stupid hi i'm john stossel and this week we're going to open my pedophile it's the file in which i keep documents of all of the pedos i've discovered
Starting point is 01:08:24 and i am not in there okay oh spicy so on that on that note on that note i'm gonna say um number one subscribe to our patreon because we got a really good episode coming out um either it will be the most recent one or it will be just about to come out uh where we talk to matzarb cousin about the new european a famously regular newspaper matzarb keeping it in the family and then um also you can marry me it's legal god damn it also so i think that's a good night from us gentlemen thank you very much for coming back for this ultimate original lineup fantasy what a joy it's been a i was here for the whole thing now let's go eat some liberty um and so uh i thought we'd be dick yeah cut off dick it counts for the god peterson it counts can i can i hot this is my
Starting point is 01:09:25 friend meet peterson are there three just a believable conservative i remember now i remember why we why we told you we were all going to the bathroom winner of the high school pma's 17 year old meet peterson okay i remember why we got rid of you now so i'm gonna say all of the all of the end matter here they leave all of this in meet peterson jr uh i'll just surely surely meet peterson the third agent meet peterson too agent cody flanks meet peterson is a very conservative name where franky munis is a butcher
Starting point is 01:10:15 okay okay i'm gonna i'm ending the show here i'm putting my foot down like a like a conservative dad we're gonna say thank you to jin sang for a theme song it's here we go it's very good you can listen to it on spotify uh we're gonna also remind everybody that if you want to have a very cool rational all-meat diet like john stossel or jordan peterson uh then you should use vremi cookware because it's not socialism if it's not cooked with vremi and also we want to say you can commodify your descent with a t-shirt from a little comrad and you can if you want to and you should check out our our patreon where we have our episode with matt zarb cousin taking apart that very regular newspaper the new european it's so normal it definitely
Starting point is 01:10:58 doesn't just like toady to sort of an establishment interest at all agent toady banks stop this stop the content agent toady banks of total i love usually i can stop it because we recorded my computer but this time it's on milo's frankie munis in the willows so with on that note i'm going to say thank you very much good night turn that fucking recording up before you keep doing it turn it off of my damn time riley i'll never turn it off now

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.