TRASHFUTURE - The Equitable Lagoon feat. Tom Walker
Episode Date: May 30, 2023This week, Tom Walker (@tomwalkerisgood) joins Riley, Milo, and Alice to discuss some recent NEOM-related news—particularly, some comments from NEOM-affiliated architects at the Venice Biennale. But... we’re also talking about a recent story in the FT where all financial journalists got scooped by a random news site in Antigua…owned by a pizza-enthusiast editor who is also an ambassador to three countries, a lawyer, a doctor, and an Instagram guy. The whole thing is an experience. Check out Tom’s Twitch stream here! https://www.twitch.tv/tomwalker If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows and check out a recording of Milo’s special PINDOS available on YouTube here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRI7uwTPJtg *ROME ALERT* Milo and Phoebe have teamed up with friend of the show Patrick Wyman to finally put their classical education to good use and discuss every episode of season 1 of Rome. You can download the 12 episode series from Bandcamp here (1st episode is free): https://romepodcast.bandcamp.com/album/rome-season-1 Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)
Transcript
Discussion (0)
FBI's serious mime squad, anyway.
Hello everyone and welcome to this. Yes, the free one.
Absolutely.
I absolutely.
I absolutely.
I'm like, I'm going to hear that in.
Open open with the first thing they hear,
FBI serious, my own squad.
Dead silence.
Yeah.
And they're here tonight.
Like 35 minutes of silence.
Just start with that.
Yeah.
Oh, getting rated by the FBI Myam Squad.
So very, very stealthy, you know.
But with the serious organized Myam Squad,
so they're not doing any like jokes.
It's all about like five minutes to flush our stuff
because it looks like the wind is keeping them from the door.
Yeah.
Yes, the FBI agents are just regular FBI agents, but they're tasked with
arresting the mines.
Yeah, the series organized mines, especially heinous.
Yeah, that's right.
So everybody, welcome to the show.
It's the free one.
We have with us returning guest champion.
It is Australia's very own Tom Walker. Tom, how's it going?
I'm good. Thank you. Very, very happy to retain my title of the least qualified person to
be a guest on this smart person's podcast. Thank you so much for having me back.
And if Tom's on the show, you know that can only mean one thing, which is we have new neon stuff to talk about.
Yeah.
That's right.
Senior neon correspondent, Tom Wolfe.
I do feel like, yeah, the kind of the clown college of the, of the Arabian states, beautiful
neon.
But before we get into our neon content, and then I have a gentleman to introduce
to Tom and Milo and the listener.
I've already introduced him to Alice.
And I've introduced to a gentleman.
I've been introduced to the gentleman in question
and it made my morning.
So I am very excited to introduce you to a gentleman.
This is gentleman, yeah.
Yeah.
But before we start with any of that,
I just wanted us to all possibly go around the table and say one nice thing about mining because Gina Reinhardt has asked me to do so.
Okay, shit, I'll start. The thing about mining is it provides, I'm reading off of a note here, jobs and something about the economy.
And that's me. So what else do we, who else wants to say something nice about mining?
Oh, I'll grab the ball off of Alice here.
I'll take the rock appropriately enough and say it is of course the extraction of valuable
geological materials from the earth and other astronomical objects.
So it's not just below our feet.
It's in the sky above us apparently.
Really, it's all around us, I would say, about mining.
Well, the great thing about mining is it is a constant thorn in the side of the federal
Bureau of investigation. I'll say mining.
Thank you, my lady. So Gina Reinhardt, Australia's richest woman who inherited several mines.
My favorite billionaire because she's the one with the most psychology.
Like, you can't, like, any other billionaire, right?
They're all psychos.
We know this, but only a few of them got, like, bullied enough as children to make them
this kind of psycho.
And when you combine mining aress with this sort of like psychological torture of expensive
Australian boarding school. The result is a very insecure, very weird woman. And she's my
favorite. She's my favorite, Billionaire.
I understand that mine's a very valuable, but there is something just very funny to me
about the concept of inheriting a mine and just being like and to my favorite child
I leave my holes
Go on to the whole child
What what Gina Reinhardt has said is she has made it she made a speech have taken this down
Please take every opportunity with that
Please Secretary Reilly's got like a bun in his head. Please take every opportunity you can be it talking to your family's friends, your Uber
driver, doctors, chemists or your local member of farlovin' or others or online or letters
to the editor to remind everyone of how essential mining is.
Please don't let a day go past without devoting a minimum.
This is a minimum everyone.
This goes for everyone here and every listening.
A minimum of 15 minutes each day to spread the mining message.
Oh my God.
What is going on in Perth?
What's happening over there?
Well, yeah, the thing about Gina Reinhardt is she is a product of so many different forces
and pressure and make diamonds, but it can also just kind of press the turds real close together.
It's a really concentrated turd.
Yeah, you get more turd and she is a very strange beast because you're right, she is kind
of, you can't picture any of the other billionaires, for example, writing a poem because they
get so aggrieved.
No, no.
No, she did.
You famously didn't had engraved on a giant rock. If you
hadn't read the poem, go look it up. It's the one of the few poems that I think you're
able to say is objectively bad and no one can defend it, despite it being a very subjective
art form. And she's just kicking the shit out of Ed Miliband for most embarrassing thing
engraved on a stone. I have the poem in front of me.
It's called, oh my god, you're gonna lose your fucking shit if you haven't read this before.
The globe is sadly groaning with debt poverty and strife, and billions now are pleading
to enjoy a better life.
There's hope lies.
There's hope lies.
There's hope lies with resources buried deep within the earth and the enterprise in capital, which
give the project worth, is our future threatened with massive deaths run up by political
hacks.
It kind of loses the meter.
She completely loses the meter.
And also, yeah, no, everyone steps back while my girl, Gina, hits the siphon, but I
don't think she lands it.
Well, like this is the thing about conservatives not being able to finish a joke because they
get too mad.
The not only does the finish of power, me either who dig themselves out by unleashing rampant tax.
The end result is sending Australia investment growth and jobs off shore.
That just becomes a tweet.
It's not a problem.
This type of direction is harmful to our core.
Some, some envious,
unthinking people have been conned to think prosperity is created by waving a magic wand
It's sort of coming back
Just simmering down. She's got some of the rage out through such unfortunate ignorance too much abuse is hurled against
Miners workers and related industries and related industry
Miners workers and related industries.
When a related industry hits, I tear up every time.
Oh yeah, I mean, the related industries, that's me.
That's about us.
When you're looking for a look out from its field that the related industries, there were
twice as many as usual.
Folks, shall I bring out the related industries that don't make end to it?
You are made to it. Yeah.
Yeah.
So when I bring them out, folks, when when Funkmaster Flex debuted this particular poem,
he actually rewound it 27 times and did 38 bombs on that particular line.
So I've sort of fired on the booth as terrible.
So in the morning, just sitting there nodding his head.
Yeah, there's, there's fire in the booth, but it is a open pit gas cans.
This would be so much better with gloss breaking sound effects, and my toxins, and my little
explosion.
Developed North America, embrace multiculturalism, a welcome short term for workers to our
shores to benefit from the export of minerals and ores.
The world's poor need our resources do not leave them to their fate.
Our nation needs special economic zones and why is our government before it is too late
peace.
You know that actually sounds like a laid-ear-a-m-m.
Now when you actually go a little bit of sauce on it, that sounds a little bit awfully
hard coffee pot to make.
The thing about terrorists is I don't want to rip about a man.
It's so awesome.
Well, so, so, she basically says, look, in the current high school national curriculum,
which mandates what every school child in Australia has taught, iron ore is only reference
twice.
The children, young for the minds, the young for for it seems like it, like a lot of times to mention iron ore across an entire
curriculum.
Like that's so specific iron ore.
Not even like, you know, the fucking dystopian thing of this, you know, curriculum is sponsored
by, you know, right heart mining, whatever.
No, brought to you by the or itself.
This brought to you by iron. It's like one of those egg counts. Look, it's like the
got milk that the milk council all put together, right? Yeah. That's what it is. There's one
more line here. Yeah. Climate change and renewable energy are mentioned 48 times. Yeah.
Have you thought about that? Yeah. Maybe iron ore should work on killing us and our
children. You're because like the thing I love about this, too, maybe I know it should work on killing us and our children.
You're because like the thing I love about this too is that like mining in general, right? It's a pretty bloodless field. Every other like mining company is like, you know, Rio Timz or whatever.
It's owned by like guys and suits who like, you know, kick money up to more guys and suits and
then that goes into hedge funds or whatever. Like the poem, where do she gets her own one? That's delightful to me.
Of course, bloodless industry in terms of the passions it arouses in its executives.
Yeah, I would say cold blooded. Yes. Yeah, not a hot blooded. No, so mining, coal, and iron
ore to not even achieve one mentioned in the entire high school economics and business curriculum. What this is a travesty?
I'm a change C levels. They don't want to talk about iron ore, but we need to mention iron
more. Like are you Gina Reinhardt? Yeah, that's me.
What she wants is to re brand the entire curriculum. It's like if Bob has three iron ore mines. And Janice has two iron ore mines.
Then what?
That good.
How did you-
How did you-
Well, how did you-
How did you-
How did you-
How did you-
How did you-
How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you-
How did you-
How did you-
How did you-
How did you- How did you-
How did you-
How did you- How did you-
How did you-
How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- How did you- guys can they support between them? I know. I know. I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. love to see the Gina Reinhard Hogwarts. Now who here thinks that the dwarves did mine too deeply
and too greedily and nobody puts up their hand. You will fall asleep to year 12. I like the idea
of the minor doesn't choose the pickaxe. The pickaxe chooses the miner. Vol-d- I mean, you know, with Minecraft,
so you can get the kids into it.
Uh, yeah.
Lord, Lord Voldem, or...
Everyone's just a war base.
Yeah, that's right.
Look, Gina, we have ideas.
Pay us one of your billions,
and you can have access to all this and more.
But, yeah, I mean, she's got fucking 36 of the things.
Like, you think she could spare one for us and the rice's room.
So, I mean, listen, we let people start academies off of all kinds of cockamami bullshit.
I think we should be able to start a mining academy.
If Steiner's schools are still kicking around, I see no reason we can't get our minor school going.
Yeah, I mean, just the, I'm mining. I love the idea of circumventing environmental protections,
but no, it's not an open pit mine. It's a school.
The Australian Olympic rowing team called themselves Patrice, and yet they refused to use iron ores.
Too heavy, they say.
And yet again, the Australian team has sunk at the beginning of the race.
Immediately after pushing the boat into the lake.
They got a gold medal.
They was just throw it away anyway.
They only need to press to them.
Yeah, the traditional lion medal.
Anyway, that's, I wanted to begin.
This is a recent complaint.
I mean, imagine also being like my feelings are hurt
because like not enough to high school students
are raising awareness about mining.
She's the Liz Warren of mining.
It's insane to see.
Except she's actually one 16th iron ore.
Yeah.
And one little bit of news before we go on,
because British listeners might think,
hey, there's been a lot of stuff going on in Britain recently
like the, and now it's a country. Not interested. Don't always be say, no. There hasn't.
There has been the announcement of the Brit GPT policy paper by Labour Long Termists and the
speeches on health. Also, the events in Wales, which Merit talking about,
which we're gonna do.
But like, we had to do the all thing
that was really cutting into our time
to talk about Britain.
Yeah, somehow when we were talking about
bridge, GPT activated Siri on my phone
and Siri has just come up and said,
I'm sorry.
No, that's okay, Siri.
But seems like you live in Britain.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, so we'll be talking about that probably next week
in more sort of more in the detail it deserves.
But we also have found out about software developer
and future immortal person, Brian Johnson,
the man who founded in sold Venmo
and his beloved son, Bloodboy.
Yeah, this, this okay, so.
Bloodboy, you know, rich people wanna live forever.
And you know how they think that a good way
to live forever is constant blood transfusions
from like the youth.
Well, he's doing that, but like out of his son,
whom he calls affectionately his blood boy.
Blood boy Johnson is like a great like blue grass name.
Like he should be sick at the banjo
with that like blood boy Johnson. This is something that would like blue grass name. Like he should be sick at the banjo with like,
like, white boy Johnson.
This is something that would like have the hardconens
taking you aside and being like,
this is bad optics man.
That's, that they had like,
photo shoots done of them together
with the like, the vial of fucking like,
some blood.
And I, I, got to be honest,
I really don't care for this sort of thing at all.
Yeah, it's a, also the funny thing is,
the funny thing is he still looks 48.
Like he looks, he looks like no difference.
I'll say, I'll say medically, does not work.
Or even if it doesn't, some internal set,
like who can say, but probably doesn't.
It just doesn't, it fully doesn't.
But all he now looks like now is just like a jacked, shiny man.
And so it's like, what an indictment of his blood boy.
I'm so much shinier than you could ever be.
I mean, he's got clearly a malfunctioning blood boy, bad blood in the boy.
Hmm, we need a new boy.
We need a blood boy for the blood boy.
That's how they get you.
But like, that's your kid.
I get billionaires doing thing of just paying anybody
to be the mad Max hood ornament, right?
I understand that on some level,
but that's your kid.
You don't feel any compunction about making him your blood boy.
He's happy to do it.
He's a blood boy.
Because usually, I mean, billionaires will spend,
like one of the reasons that, you know,
billionaires will continue to, you know,
I'd say, degrade their fellow man,
destroy the environment, like all of the awful stuff they do
is to enable their children to go study it,
like Central St. Martins or whatever,
and, you know, create a new fashion line out of ourselves.
Things of this nature, yeah.
That's why they do it.
But he's like, no, I am not going to have you do like a one-man show in Brooklyn.
You are going to be my blood boy.
You're going to follow me around and I'm taking your blood.
He went to like one too many degree shows
at over the course of his life and was like,
no, none of that shit.
You're gonna be tethered to me by the Venus system.
So that is, is he,
the other thing he did is he just,
he created a company called BrainTree,
nothing to do with Essex.
Right, okay.
That is just like a payments firm
and then sold Venmo to PayPal.
Is, oh, for a second I thought he was gonna
like make him into his brain boy as well.
Yeah.
I was gonna say this, that sounds like
like a modern version of like an old saying.
Like that guy, he could sell Venmo to PayPal.
Oh, you good.
Can we, can we like, this may be illegal to say, can we rescue this son?
Like, can we rescue the blood boy?
Yeah, can we like break him out?
Because, Alice, I got bad news for you.
As soon as you rescue that one, you're going to have to start taking the blood.
Because he's like a dairy cow now.
He's producing too much.
Oh, he's using the schedules.
So you're going to have to start punching her fucking straw through the top of him. Ah, he's using the schedules. So you're gonna have to start punching her fucking straw
through the top of him like he's in the middle.
Oh, my fucking blood boy.
I don't know. Please, Alice, it hurts.
I've got so much blood.
We need to get, we need to, we need a medieval doctor
here immediately.
The first time this has ever been actually a problem.
Get the leeches.
Yeah, you're wearing like the plague, Dr. Mask.
Yeah, they've, they've fucking sorry to bother you.
This kid into being a kind of blood cow now.
Okay.
Well, Alice, unfortunately, the most convenient way of getting the blood out of me is an
army surgical kit that was only issued to snipers in the Polish army
between 1994 and 1996, but the chances of you having that are I presume extremely low.
Uh, everything lines up too well.
Fuck.
All right, I want to do a couple other news hits before we go into Neum and then a new
gentleman.
Yeah, I'm Desanth Timonius.
No, Rob.
Now Rob Desanth Timonius. Yes. Before Desanth Timonius, that'm the sanctimonious. No, Rob. Now, Rob, DeSanctimonious. Yeah. That's not even his name.
Communious himself. There's very little of the original name left in
there. Yeah, they just renamed this man. So the thing I want to talk
is I like to talk about things in American politics that happen if they relate
to things that we are interested in. And in this case, Rob Desanctimonius has decided to launch his campaign for president in
the world's most, I'd say, dysfunctional Twitter space on what is essentially on Twitter
with Elon and then release a release a campaign video that has more Elon in it than him.
Who is that for? He's running for
Elon's only friend, which is so pathetic. It's like, it's like hysterical, but also watch the video.
I genuinely think they're going to delete it at some point when they get bullied enough, because
it's so weird. It's like a looping 30-second announcement of Ron DeSantis' voice, which is, by the way,
like he has gay voice.
More than Trump does somehow in a sort of like less charismatic way.
He's like the easiest to bully voice hover of the campaign so far.
And he just talks for like 30 seconds
about how we're going to make America not woke again, doesn't criticize Trump at all.
It loops over footage of Elon Musk. And then presumably at some point Donald Trump saw this
and his brain, man, I, it's the, it's the convolutions of this. I cannot follow. But Donald Trump saw this
video and went, I will reunify Korea.
Yeah. Perfect.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Well, let's just like, you know, it's, I mean, Rob Desanck-Timonious, I don't have to
Twitter stuff in a second,
is that he's squaring the ideological circle
for a people who wanted, you know, like,
who thought that there was like right wing,
you know, like right wing redistributive, like,
economics out there, whatever.
It's like Tucker Carlson's ship,
but Tucker Carlson's out, it's like Blake Mastership.
We remember what happened to him.
But, they, he forgets that most of the electorate
considers his opponent to living God.
The thing I want to talk about though is that his campaign
His camp his press secretary because obviously this was on Twitter and fucked up horribly because no one works there anymore
The press secretary for DeSantis
Sorry, excuse me one Brian Griffin
Like the dog. Yeah, that's Brian Griffin.
Brian, not like the dog. He is the dog and family. Brian
Griffin, the family dog from family guy. Brian Griffin, the
your main dog from family guy said, this is a dog's breakfast.
He's staring at the breakfast. Usually the time I oversaw
and drawn the sentences campaign watch. It's a pretty good
Brian Griffin. There was so much enthusiasm. There was so much. There was.
Run off Riley and Alice was Mike.
Yeah.
You really, you really made a mess of this campaign, Lord, for Ron DeCentus.
I'm working for Donald Trump.
We're going to blow you out of the water. You know what that means.
It's time for a song and dance number.
Blow you out of the water. You know what that means. It's time for a song and dance number
My name is Peter Griffin
Freaking sweet
Oh
Have you been working on round to thank you
Can't paint love. He's the worst as a mega person. I don't know, Lourish. I don't know.
I don't know.
She's pro-Ran and she's annoyed that Peter is fucked it up.
Yeah, but she's called him Rob.
She's pro-Ran calling him Rondis, thank you, buddy.
It's just stuck.
It's just stuck.
I'm voting for Trump.
Well, I'm trying to nail Joe.
Yeah.
I'm voting for Trump.
Because I watched the Twitter space with Ron DeSantis.
It was messed up.
Nobody could speak, didn't work.
It was messed up, you're right.
Yeah, because I guess like,
Lois' dad fired everyone from Twitter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't like that doing accents
is now a core competency on this podcast.
And I'm going to have to like, sort of do us like a breakout capability to learn how to
fucking do it now.
You have to end all this to go.
Yeah, put more points into accent.
So that teaches anything.
So Brian Griffin pressed secretary for his scientist.
So that's later after the event.
We're talking about.
There was. There was a job, Brian. Secretary for Jussan to set up Twitter after the event. We sort of talk about it in the blinds. No.
That was, that was job Brian.
There was so much enthusiasm for Gover just to say just his vision.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch.
He had a vision of the Gronch. He had a vision of the Gronch. He had a vision of the Gronch. He had a vision of the Gronch. He had a vision of the Gronch. How's the launch? Did it go well? Okay. Having fun at the big launch?
Can I please say what Brian Griffin said?
I hope it's a wolf.
There was so much enthusiasm for Governor DeSantis' vision for a great American comeback that he
literally busted up the internet.
Okay.
Congratulations to Ron DeSantis for busting on the internet. Congratulations to Ron Decentre's for busting on the internet. Anyway, anyway,
I'll have the impact. Short will go great. I hope this candy flows.
Washington is next. One million dollars raised online in one hour and counting. I Washington
is next. Sounds very threatening. You know what? It was so important for him to raise so much money is because he fucked up
the filings of his, his POC, like, you know, friends of Ron DeSantis or whatever, didn't register
it for the like, Tyson reporting requirements or a presidential campaign.
So now he has like $36 million that's just stuck doing nothing.
And they've had to try and rebrand this like anti woke stuff to try and circumvent
campaign finance laws. Friends of Rhondas Antis is an old time euthamism for a sexual
people. That's right. Alright. Alright. That's enough news. That's enough news. I want
to talk about Neum. Because Neum has a new concept that they have debuted at the Venice Biennale.
This is their press release.
Do you have a big launch of Neom?
More than 20 of the world's leading architects, designers and future thinkers.
Oh, they've got Marinette.
Yeah, but they hope to think at some point.
A future thinker is like, yeah, a fetus or baby to me. A major opening event for Neom's first international exhibition in Venice.
Exhibition marks the launch of the new concept of zero gravity urbanism
and the design. Why do you launch a concept? Like, well, I don't know.
Okay, zero gravity urbanism. What the fuck is that?
I'm so glad you asked Alice. Thank you. Zero gravity urbanism is a linear and three-dimensional, so both
Concept that provides an innovative alternative to our current urban model
Created to address key challenges including a growing demand for urban land
Rising social economic inequalities and climate change, it is a model for developing cities
with a radical approach
to nature conservation,
livability, and human progress.
How this is accomplished is not clear.
Yeah, I was gonna say,
what is the approach?
That's it.
It's you do it, but good, and in a line.
Cool.
Why is it zero in craft sell?
I don't know.
Unclear.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Oh!
It's like, it's, it's like grasping it air.
Uh-huh.
Well, I mean, it's, it's, it's, if you're in a grasp at neon, you're really going to struggle
to grasp it more than air.
Yeah.
Well, it's actually going to be harder to grasp with anything because it's all just found,
like it's, the, the most you can grab is a hole that's been dug by, I mean, most abused
labor force in the world.
So set in, and we've heard about the blood boy said in the historic
about the Desengregorio when it venez is all this buildings.
I get the idea also of being like,
hey, we're going to go with this other doomed city as well.
The exhibition's focal point is this one is doomed by water.
Hours will be doomed by drought and poor planning.
A hubris. Yeah, that's right drought and poor planning. A hubris.
Yeah, that's right.
Both monuments to man's hubris.
Ubrace is the opposite of water in a way.
The idea of being like reading the old Zaman
tears perm and being like, great, I'm gonna build that.
And I,
Ozzy literally did that.
Like, it's fucked up.
There's no jokes left.
We can make. There's just, this is nothing. It's just void.
It's them got be like guy who's about to build his house on sand, looking at guy who built
his house on water and going like that jump.
Uh, says a nine by 13 meter relief plan of Neon is set in the central courtyard reflecting
the lines minimal and harmonious interaction with the natural environment.
Vennice's minimal and harmonious interaction with its natural environment is that it is currently
sinking into it.
It is becoming part of its own lagoon.
It's a biodegradable city.
It's like the bag of cities.
And so one of the some of the people working on this include the exhibition, excuse
me, was curated by this is a beautiful, beautiful paragraph, right? Because first of all,
it's tremendously funny to read in and of itself. Second of all, you can play one of my favorite
games, architect, just studio or European DJ. So I'm going to now read this paragraph.
And I would like you to tell me what you think is the European DJs
is curated by Ramon part and produced it and produced in a UK studio squint slash opera and
Italian studio we exhibit the exhibition you listen to all of these
The exhibition lists architecture studios, adj associates, bi g co up, very well
nine co up, himmelblow, but the Alison parentheses. Okay. That is a musician. That is not an
architecture studio that they make sort of like complex challenging beats that alienate
you from your daily way of life. Clankwonsler, Delugan Maysy associated architects.
Excuse me about the Clankoonsler.
Yeah, we are refining the automatized now.
Studio fucks ass.
Actually say that.
F-U-K-S-A-S. How do you want me to pronounce it?
It's a studio fucks ass, okay.
Shit lava. FUKS, how do you want me to put it in? It's studio. Fucksass, okay. Holy shit. Lava.
The studio founded by the IRA.
Lava.
Luca Dini designed an architecture.
Morphosis.
Oh, no, that's like a drum and bass DJ.
Morphosis.
But he's from like, Kessering.
Enrico San Giuliano.
Oliver Wu collaborative. But he's from like, Catherine. And Rico San Juliano, all of her woo collaborative,
pay cob, freed, and partners,
René Wise, chap, all the capital letters,
gender, Mr. B, the gentleman,
Ryan has architected his studio.
Right.
And unstudio as contributors.
Now, I did put in several DJs into that list.
I could not tell which of them were. Now, Kun Slur in several DJs into that list. I could not tell which of them.
I couldn't.
I couldn't.
Is one of them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think the other ones are fucking co-op him, oh, blah.
That's not an architect.
Nope.
That's an architect.
I'm afraid.
God damn it.
Tom, what do you, who do you think the DJs were in that list?
It's studio or Fox ass, surely.
Nope. That's an architecture studio.
The Fox ass company is the building.
No.
Yeah, the invented the fucking machine
was an architecture concept project.
No, another one, and Rico San Juliano, that's a DJ.
Hmm.
It gets a little bit too normal to be an architecture.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is more fosus of DJ or a fucking architecture
firm. Architecture firm. Oh, that's awesome. Uh-huh, I'm afraid. René Wise, another DJ. Yeah,
another DJ. It's not fair to, for an architecture firm to ruin the eventual SEO of someone who's
going to make some of the most seven out of ten electronic music to ever exist. Wait, wait, C-H-A-P, I assume there's like
full stops in between each lacer.
That's, what do you think?
I've, fuck you, it's an architecture.
Coming hard from anal penetration.
That's right, Alice.
It's an architecture studio.
Architects LLP.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, it really is really ziggin' there.
Yeah, so, anyway, and have we all taken a look
at the models at this thing
that a hundred of the world's greatest architects
and designers all came together to present?
No, I'm not.
They, I mean, like all architecture now
is just sort of like this weird render right thing
that like even by those standards,
some weird shit here, because it's just nothing.
And they know it's not.
Oh, okay, it's just like this.
Oh yeah, fuck.
So what they have done is they have created
a number of models and it's unclear as will,
is this what the line will look like?
Is this different sections of the line?
But that look as though they were made like
by cutting some egg cartons apart
and stacking the back up together, like, this is the best you could fucking do with infinite
petrodollars.
Yeah, I mean, here's the thing, right?
If you read a sentence like, as I just have fucks ass and produces a series of organic
forms, transforming the line into a hyper-connected permeable city.
That could still be EDM.
Like, what's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city?
What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's a non-permeable city? What's what in? I guess in that way, Neom is an impermeable city in the sense that it will never exist.
It's purely conceptual.
So, one of the architects, Repeater Cook, who's working on it, when he was giving a talk
at this particular event, and he said, he's had a number of quite sensible things that
sort of show him to be a deeply sort of evil man man and then one quite awful thing that shows him to be a
deeply open and trying to get an impression i'm being paid a huge amount of
money to be here of course this product is utter nonsense that's essentially
what he says he says i'm going to be honestly now as long as you don't cut me off
i think that this five hundred meter height is stupid and unreasonable
and every engineer will tell you this. Cool. However, I'm, well, he said, you may, you say,
ah, that means you don't believe in the line, which is, that's what I would say. I would say this.
Yeah, yeah, sure. He says, well, I believe in the something. Right. I believe it. Absolutely.
Like, well, you've got money, so there's going to be a, there's, we'll do something there.
Listen, the back pedal of a man who's swiftly remembered that he has bones, he doesn't want
to get sword.
He says, I believe in the something.
People generally do want to get sword.
As a man who's never wanted to be compressed into a suitcase, I would like to add.
He says, I believe it's interesting and it'll get more interesting as it becomes more incorrect
because you're left with this paper trail, a concrete trail.
Well, that, no, those are two different things.
You just said paper trail and then said a concrete trail, but it can't be both.
Says, I think it's an amazing absurdity
and I love absurdity.
Here we are probably the most idiosyncratic city
in the world of Venice, which is also absurd.
Maybe that's the future of the line.
It could become a great, touristic success.
He could have absurd.
He's gonna end up like moonwalking out of a consular.
I, it says, however, it's no more absurd than Venice.
The city we're in in the middle of a pond with ground that subsides and so on.
Yeah.
No, I guess what's gonna happen to Venice.
Yeah.
I don't know much about Venice, but surely they weren't like people being like, hey, this
is a terrible idea.
Yeah, because Venice, it would be like, well, it was basically they were people who lived,
like the legendary story is that they were driven out of Ravenna.
And it was the aristocrats and the common people
all formed the sort of more sort of equal citizenry
of a republic in the Lagoon's, right?
The more realistic story is just that they were fishermen
and they started to keep them building up their island
because they were in crucial trade route
between Europe and Asia.
I would love to fall in the more equal citizen river of Republic within the lagoon.
I hate being driven out of Ravenna though, so it's hard to say.
That's why we get driven toward different biome.
That's the legendary.
We play with all the different mobs and ingredients.
When you first come to the lagoon most of the moms are question mark
level so you got a you got to level up.
I loved it when that guy said as a big fan
of assassins Creed to it's great to be here.
Yeah, but it did makes like Venice made
sense for quite a long time and just
hasn't really been maintained very well.
Yeah, there's now going to be shipped to walls by cruise ships.
Yeah, exactly.
But Venice made sense when it was when it was sort of grew and when that city formed,
it had a reason to be there.
Yeah, getting kicked out of Ravenna, having bad vibes.
And, you know, but also, you know, the, you know, cook basically says is now saying,
can I get back into Ravenvenor with this wrist band?
But his now been saying that his remarks have been taken out of contact.
He was cheering up for Revenor all night.
And then I got there and they were like, not tonight.
Light and I act.
Cook said that his remarks have been taken out of contact suggesting he did not want
to be bone-side.
We were sketching possibilities on the height of the line in Venice and
the discussion was informal exploring the different height variables of the line.
After the hit in Marina, which was at the base of the line is built, I may eat my hat
and say that 500 meters is even more fun.
Again, he said with a little trickle of blood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have a family like.
Upon hearing about one Matthew Goodwin, he was like when I said, oh, he'd eat my hat those remarks were actually taking out of context
so
Responding to Peter to cook comments and the yom spokesperson person told the architectural journal
Quote zero gravity urbanism is a revolutionary and perhaps unimaginable
Particularly when seen to the lens of the past
in light of existing failed urban models.
As a large language model, I...
Well, and apparently I've only sort of seen the reporter on Twitter.
He was sort of joking around that, and he can't wait for Shanti Towns to form at the base
of the line, presumably either as workers are treated very poorly, or if it works somehow and is the success
that he'll be involved in building the space station
from Elysium.
So, I don't really find any of those things that funny.
I kind of think maybe this dude should get bone sort now.
Really, we do not think so.
I find it, I think it'll be funny if this dude got bone sort now.
Well, we can't endorse the bone sign of anyone.
It does seem as though this guy says. I think very funny this dude got expelled from Ravenna and was forced to make an use of
society in the lagoon.
That's just a fucking far.
I love Ravenna with you.
We need to bring back banishing people to the lagoon.
We're banishing to the lagoon.
It's a legendary foundation story.
Hey buddy, how's the, how's how's being part of Reveneggo?
Nothing.
Not been banished to the lagoon.
I'd had to I'd hated if I'd got banished to the lagoon.
They weren't specifically banished to the lagoon.
Anyway, I'm sure it's I'm sure it's going great.
I'm sure it's going really well.
I'm sure you're not going sure it's going great. I'm sure it's going really well. I'm sure you're not gonna be in the lagoon
But you're in big wigs you're in big wet city over there. Oh
Above water is it? Look I mean look it was a good place to have a city
Over there in the lagoon this city
You want to do almost as good as Ravenna
Why do you wear... Fuck me.
Why'd you leave Ravenna?
We, you, um...
It was the guy who was...
Giving a lot of rumors that you were...
...bannished to the lagoon.
You're hearing a lot of rumors that you've been banished to the lagoon.
That has a sentence I never thought I'd say today. You got so beautiful, Milo.
Just cranky because you got banished to the lagoon, aren't you?
Somebody's been really open to banishing. Hey, heyish. I'm going lagoon on my own free will
Now can't see me. Hey, god. Hey, god baddish to the lagoon. Oh my god. I can't go there the wheelchair sticks into the mud
March you always wanted to go visit the lagoon, right?
Homey homey you can't visit the lagoon
Hey homey are they sending us to the lagoon?
Right. Home here, they sending us to the lagoon.
Oh, no, you feel a little new, sir.
You promised me your new business wouldn't get us banished from Ravenna.
Ah, the ratings in the lagoon.
That's so much like crusty, I guess, I've run out of character.
Okay, all right.
Look, we're gonna have to get Patrick Weiman on to set a straight about the foundation of that it
You know how'd you go into the fucking lagoon?
Sorry
Wait, why is that Patrick Weiman?
Yeah
When Patrick Weiman was in Green Street
Yeah
You're listening to Tides of History and we've been banning the fucking lagoon
Alright
Like we're like with Phoenicians
Phoenicians it would have been a bit Roman citizens
We're in the 600s
lost their city to gods
Yeah
Is there a way we can crowdfund one of Patrick Wyman's podcasts being read
He's he's script or perhaps like transcript of it just being read by a much stupider person. Yeah, it was banished from Camden Town, yeah,
by the Goffs.
Yeah.
This is for the Goffs now.
I've had to go morning in Crescent.
What is, you have a lot for the lot
of the more equitable for him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, can't go down the lock anymore. No, yeah, it's Goffs, yeah. Yeah, no, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. right. Yeah, more like the ball society. That's right. Yeah, anyway, see you later. Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Sarah, so I'm looking for a lagoon.
Ah!
I've got a delivery of bricks for a new city.
Or just going down from above, mate.
And now I've got to be banished there.
So I'm looking to find the lagoon.
Quick, smart.
I'm looking for... Look, the directions are terrible. Are you seeing any geese around here trying to
build a new and more equitable society?
Yeah, recently, recently expelled from Ravenna.
I don't want that to be a thing on him.
And this is key. They'll be in the lagoon.
No, mate, that's, that's never never gonna stand up in a lagoon mate.
That's all the cruise ships.
More, more, I won't set.
Yeah.
Right, you've heard of a tri-rim, you've heard of a tri-rim right now, imagine a much bigger
ship, it will sink the city.
Multiple reams.
Yeah.
A three bigger than the, all the reams. Yeah, yeah, try a ring. It was a ship full of a full of bloke's rowing rose cruise ship is ship full of couples rowing. Am I right?
Get in the fucking like Jesus.
Jeremy, have you got us pennies and Ravenna?
Why is this cruise ship taking us to Venice?
I told you I don't want to start a more equitable society.
I want to live in Ravenna, where I can get me hair done by him.
And where will we make it, Slive?
Are we done?
I think we might be done, yeah.
Maybe.
No, it's not.
Foodware Cleveland move to to start the Cleveland show.
No, do not set this up again.
We've got to be gone.
We have to escape its gravitational pull.
Right.
So I want to start the final look.
We'll leave Neon back in the past, where it belongs.
Most likely again, I reiterate my position
that what's likely going to be built with Neonon is like kind of like a more equitable society.
Yeah, not much the opposite.
Oh yeah.
Wait, I could just be being built in a very dry place.
Oh yeah, yeah, for acid.
So the opposite of a lagoon.
Yeah, exactly.
So lagoon, you get wet, you get wet together
and that makes you build the more equitable society.
And it can't be damaged by cruise ships in a way it's genius
I'm starting to get on board. All right, so protected a city from its one predator
Got some crack black
Holysting the fucking black sail the most difficult thing about immigration to this place is finding people to get banished here a
Huge sail that just says my chemical romance on it.
A population of Venice are like, oh no.
Well, what are you going to do if you get fucking banished out of Venice?
You're going to have to find a different lagoon.
That doesn't bear thinking about.
Yeah.
It's about a still more equitable society.
The one on the lagoon of the earth trying to build full communism. Yeah, it's about a still more equitable society
The lagoon of the earth trying to build full communism
Yeah, we were trying to find another lagoon Yeah, we sailed all the way across our
Misunderstanding to do with a drink. Yeah, no, there's no there's no lagoon. It's just a Dutch island
I'm not a Dutchman. I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman.
I'm a Dutchman. I'm a Dutchman. I'm a Dutchman. I'm a Dutchman. I'm a Dutchman. Yeah, we got banished from a lagoon actually. But now we're only living in the lagoon because we got banished from Ravenna.
It's a bit of a touchy subject.
I don't mean to tell you my life story.
I don't mean to tell you my life story.
Don't mention it around me wife.
She's very touchy about the whole game kicked out of anything.
I told her Ravenna's not even acting.
What, you're sister, you're out your sister.
You do nothing but complain about your sister.
That's equitable.
I wanted to emphasize, I'm talking about the foundation myth of that.
You know I told you it's just a foundation myth in Kani ice.
You know I'm you know birds.
Yeah yeah like that night.
Finish is a wading bird should complain less about the fucking lagoon
She's more like a pigeon
I would very much like to move on to our final segment. I mean yeah, you can try
And wait are you moving from one thing to another thing?
How equitable is this getting? My goodness, it seems Riley is planning
a forced move from interesting.
It is a aquatic in any way this news segment.
It involves an island.
Oh, okay.
As you may know, we are in many ways
a kind of affiliate marketing program
for the financial times.
And we are talking about this story
at the urging of one of its authors from FT Alphaville.
And we spoke on this show before.
Much tougher and sexier than those hacks
at FT Betaville.
We've spoken before on the show
about the Cubbings and Going of Credit Suisse,
especially as it related to Lex Green Sill and one Australian man who made his empire possible.
Oh yeah.
And Tom Morton of that rock of Credit Suisse, there's guys under there.
It is so replete with guys.
We have found so many interesting guys through looking at Credit Suisse.
And if you remember as well, Credit Suisse went out of business for being too cool.
Oh yeah.
And then had to have it's basically had to get
like an orderly bank failure
so it could be bought by UBS and depositors
wouldn't be out and so on and so on.
Yeah, that's green so got banished.
Like he's aware of.
He's aware of friends now.
No, he's in the fence, which is a
wetter, more equitable climate, but sort of not quite like Lagoonuous.
That's right.
Now, the only thing you have to understand about this,
right, is that in the wrapping up,
in the rolling up of Credit Suisse,
some of the like debt instruments were zeroed
by the Swiss regulators so that UBS could buy it.
It's controversial that those were zeroed
and the zeroing of them was challenged.
That is all you need to know about finance
to understand this next segment.
Okay.
Is that these degrees?
I'm probably still will not understand it.
Is that so these decrees, right?
But from Finma, the Swiss financial regulator.
Fist of luck on your ass.
Finma, yeah.
Finma balls, thank you.
Yeah, about Finma, yeah. Finma balls, thank you. Yeah, I had about finma.
Yeah.
So basically published these decrees saying, look, we need to zero, we need to basically take
the value of these financial instruments to zero.
The first decree was scooped by the financial times and published.
The second of two decrees was published, and I'm quoting here from Alphaville,
in full online last week by an outlet called Antigua News,
a local Antigua News outlet.
Okay.
The financial times separately attained a copy of the decree
and verified its authenticity
with several people with direct knowledge of the situation.
Sick of this fucking trash-each thing
where they're all friends with the guys
from the Antigua News,
and it's like this back and forth, very incestuous, you know?
Yeah, Antigen News, or is it's also known FT Sigmaville?
So, the barely two-year-old website, primarily
traffic in the Cummings and Goings on the Caribbean Island
nation of Antigua and Barbuda with recent stories
chronically, for example, a robbery at a local takeaway
joint called Roti King and the suspension
of a high profile criminal trial due to a more than fist station in the courtroom.
So I guess the British still likes it.
It's like, like, island news and then incidentally breaking like a sort of a major financial
story before the FT is correct.
Yes.
It's not just Antigua.
It's also barbewda.
It's good.
Apparently island time sometimes is five minutes ahead of the world's financial press.
No, I'm sick of the Antigen news.
You know, it's too antigercentric.
As a barbew to resident, I feel like not enough is being said about barbew to.
We're hearing about Switzerland.
Where's the barbew to news?
So,
and the head of Antigen irony podcast that's like we went to Switzerland before we went to
barbew to. Antigen irony podcast that's like we went to Switzerland before we went to Barbuda
So even by the standards of a local news startup Antigen news is Twitter presence is been able with only 15 followers. I'm more now
I imagine many more and three of those people live on Barbuda and they're very poorly served
Set out to find out how this little known website got hold of the Swiss smoking gun and scoop
the world's financial press.
The answer led us to a pizza loving lawyer and ambassador whose notable past clients include
Vladimir Putin's son-in-law.
Okay.
I would like a guy has been detect I would like to introduce to you three in the wider
listening public, the right honorable Dario item.
He invented the thing.
Yeah, Luigi inventory.
Yeah.
Well, his great, great grandfather invented the thing.
He just inherited the well.
That's like what.
That's what I mean before I code when you finally crack it open and you see that the character
you've been loving or you know fucking hating all this time is just saying like fucking place hold to five.
Yeah.
Darrye isem.
Yeah.
Or an unexpected item though.
He is an unexpected item.
The article does make the headline joke, unexpected item in bag holding area because you know
it's holding the same item as random mess of our reach for me.
Unexpected item in barbued an area.
File names such as fitma1.PDF.JPEG suggests not only the slight sloppiness of
RIPMA1.PDF.JPEG in your ass.
An eagerist to get content online, but the poster had a digital version of the document itself,
which means he must have been given it.
As we love it.
That is one of the really,
FT Alfaville really took this personally, huh?
They really went like,
who the fuck is Antigua News?
We're gonna do some like digital forensics,
we're gonna find this fucking guy.
So we happened upon the rather forthcoming man
behind this scoop, Darioario Item, while cold calling
phone numbers connected to Antigua News.
Yeah, they called like Antigua, like whatever Antigua in Barbuda's country code is, and then
one, and this guy picked up like immediately.
Yeah, it was more successful in our earlier exchange with a bemused advertising sales representative
at Antigua News, who had not heard of Credit Suisse, but promised a pass on her inquiry all It was more successful than our earlier exchange with a bemused advertising sales representative
at Antigua News who had not heard of Credit Suisse, but promised to pass on our inquiry all
the same.
This is my article.
I wrote the article in Antigua News item, said, I'm also the owner of Antigua News.
I'm also a Swiss lawyer.
I'm defending for the investors and for this reason I have the information.
I mean, this seems like all great information
to volunteer completely unprompted to the journalists.
To a cold call.
Yeah, it could be anyone.
Just like, hello, here's what my entire deal is.
But he's a Swiss lawyer, he said.
Yeah, he's a Swiss lawyer who loves talking on the phone
about anything at Great Lakes to journalists.
And he's even given like, so, so to you.
And pencil or whatever it is, just like at like, high doses.
Did they call him in the middle of like a rave
and he's in the show?
Yeah.
I actually think we're really vibing.
You and I should start a podcast together.
Yeah, nothing about Bob You to fuck those guys.
You just got out of a really good therapy session
where he was like told to work on like openness
and radical transparency.
The next phone call he gets is from the financial times
and he's like, all right, I'm gonna lay it all out there.
Here's what my deal is.
So additionally, item is the Antigua Ambassador
to Spain, Monaco and Lichtenstein
as well as the United Nations World Tourism Organization.
The classic combination of Spain, Monaco, and Lichtenstein.
The big tree. No wonder they got them on the phone so easily. He has phone numbers like one
through 20. They all go to him. He is like every different embassy. He's picking all of these up.
So his embassy also owns and operates Antigua News and he's also a lawyer based in Lugano,
Switzerland, representing investors in these bonds that got zeroed out.
I mean, it's a busy work week.
You have to imagine a part of him, anything else.
Like, you got to commute back and forth between Monaco, Lichtenstein and Spain, you said?
And Antigua as well.
Antigua. Antigua.
And Switzerland and we've also run a, apparently you are weirdly invested in blog in terms
of time and effort.
Yeah, because like he is breaking local stories like about the robbery at the Roti King,
as well as publishing documents that he is given through his diplomatic connections pretty much.
Sadly taking off diplomatic hat,
but happily putting on press fedora.
You know?
Yeah, so you're having seen the document
you've just laid down on the table
and doing the like standing over a treat fingers.
I'm not familiar.
The stunning scoop has Mr. Journalist uncovered now.
Well, the next paragraph sort of talks about this, Tom, says possession of both the
decrees from Finma and Antigua News, which he called the official channel of the Embassy
of Antigua and Barbuda and Madrid.
I've done.
Dario Item decided to cut out the middleman, supplying the documents to himself, posting
them alongside an explanation of their significance on the news website. He controls by his diplomatic posts. It's a diplomatic community. I don't
know. He just, you know what? He talked about me. He's just so charming. And you know what?
He also is a great conversationalist and a handsome man as well. He's just standing there
too. He has a lot of the documents. They have abuse for relationship. They're a real
icing, you know? Yeah. He's like, he is like a Lionel Huts character. Well, I'm afraid I had that document over to myself,
and I'm now bound not to reveal my source. Oh, he does say to Tony Client privilege quite a bit.
I think it is his own lawyer. So you can't make him say anything that he knows.
He's just stacking up reasons why you cannot arrest this guy. He's got a Tony Client privilege.
He's got diplomatic immunity. He's got diplomatic immunity again. He's got diplomatic immunity for a third
separate time. Yeah, when you find him up and start asking him questions, he's actually
legally marrying you. So you can't be a testifying each other in court.
So, uh, a one minute 31 second clip titled Dario Item is one of the three videos on the YouTube
channel Dario Item.
The other two are also called Dario Item and Dario Item.
Trying to get that out of your mouth.
Dario Item.
That's on the YouTube zone.
And so I've watched these videos.
It's just like a video of him being invested as the ambassador to Spain by the king of Spain.
And then, but then the captions are sort of insane.
Wait, surely if you're the ambassador of Antigua to Spain, you have to be invested by the
government of Antigua, not by the government. He accepts he was the ambassador.
All right. Okay. It would be funny if Spain were like, no, no, we don't like this guy.
We'll have another guy. So if that guy, do you know Dario item?
Just going to like some stuff like you're going to love this guy.
Check him out.
He's had great reviews in Spain where he also is still working.
So he's introducing Dario Itam.
But like he's the inventor of stuff.
You love stuff.
Yeah.
But Antigua and Pabut is a real country.
It's not like sort of like, it's really than Lichtenstein, you know.
It's not like, how does he get this job or all of
these jobs?
Who is this guy?
He has, well, he has a, he, he, he, he got the user, he got the website, Darioitem.com.
Okay.
He has, he has several personal websites.
So I'll continue.
Darioitem.kz.
There are, but a couple of, these are about a couple examples of items sprawling web presence,
which alongside Antigua news includes a personal website, another personal website, another
personal website, a personal press website, another personal press website, a medium profile.
He also promotes Antigua and Barbuda's blockchain regulation, mourns the death of Queen Elizabeth
II in the Scottish local press, and then write about money laundering in Switzerland.
And also continuing to come up in relation to Antigua's Nomad Digital Residence Program,
which allows foreigners to live and work remotely from Antigua and Barbuda for up to two
years.
He's just into stuff.
He's just doing things.
He's doing muscle confusion on the world economy.
That's incredible.
Well, this is like one of these exact...
This is where it reminds you a little bit
of Raphael Affoliere, right?
Now that I was saying you're similar to Raphael Affoliere
in terms of what he does,
but just like the fact that you cannot somehow stop him
from just doing kind of everything.
You know, it's like, like Raphael Affoliere,
right now is involved in the purchase and sale
of the Roma football club to I think the Saudis.
I don't know why or why they involved him.
But he is the how kind of fixer is this guy that he's like
three time like Thrice Ambassador.
I lawyer get it's sort of general fact totem.
He's on Instagram.
He's on Instagram.
He's from the beach. He has 800,000 followers on Instagram. He's on Instagram. He's on Instagram. He has 800,000 followers on Instagram. And
it's unclear why, but there is, it's almost all beach. He's got like a, he's got like a Roman
political career, you know, three times ambassador, you know, he's like a, it's, sovant global
traveler. He's involved in so many different things.
He's kind of like a chrassus figure.
I have found an incredible, incredible photo of this man.
I have found a photo of him wearing a Terry cloth, multi-striped suit, flanked by two like
large bald men, which I'm going to put in the trash future
to group chat here. I mean, yeah, this guy, it's say, I mean, obviously hectic work life, hectic
work life, but fuck this looks like a nice life. Oh my god, that's right. Wow. Yeah, you look
wow, what a look. It's very stripy that it's remarkable isn't it?
The two the two men either side look like they're like a before and after for like a hair loss
tonic or something. Yeah, they both look every one in this photo looks awesome and I'm sure they're
having a great time. I don't know who they are. What Dario item is wearing looks kind of like a
boat club blazer. It's like it's like that, it's that kind of stripe that you wouldn't get on something that's
like just a fashion item.
It would have to be like a club.
He's wearing it with pants that match.
Some hair.
So I want to carry on.
I'm just holding a woman in the sea.
Which is like lying down and he's stood up.
So it's quite odd. So I want to carry on,
which is 15 likes. 800,000 followers, 15 likes. I wonder if any of the possible, you think maybe he
might have bought a couple of them. Maybe just one or two. Reinvesting like Roma football clubs,
Saudi money into Instagram followers is a very funny idea.
That was Rafael Fulieri, who's involved in...
Roma Fulieri.
Okay, fine, whatever, I don't care.
I'm sure Dario Aitem's involved in some way.
Rafael O'Foliari, the inventor of the little chocolate
with coconut on the outside.
That's right, so there's also a Russia connection.
In 2020, the organized crime and corruption reporting project
named it item in connection
with the network of offshore companies owned by the named item.
Keryl Shamelov, Russian president Putin's former son-in-law, naming item as the quote
main custodian of Shamelov's offshore secrets.
Item responded to this claim by calling it really ridiculous and said, every lawyer is
a custodian of secrets.
A perfect blurb quote for the airport novel,
but my favorite thing there is ex-suninlaw,
because I understood intellectually after a second
that like, oh, it's, you know, the couple get divorced.
But for a second, I imagined Puset firing this guy
as his suninlaw, and I was very taken by that idea.
We are you familiar with Dario Itan?
We deal with him as Castodian of Secrets.
That seems to me like a job from a fantasy novel.
A little bit more.
It's a job of fantasy novel in addition to all his other stuff.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Here's my here's here's probably actually in the context of everything else about
this story, one of my favorite paragraphs.
Then there was the run in with financial authorities
in LabWon, a federal territory of Malaysia,
which in 2019 struck item off as a director
of two financial services firms.
As a consequence of the regulatory sanction,
Antigua also revoked one of his company's banking licenses,
but he still ambasseted to three countries.
How many banking licenses does he fucking have?
And he had two financial services companies in Malaysia,
at least one bank in Fatigue Webber Puda.
He has so, you know this guy collects titles,
and oh yeah, by the way, he's also a doctor.
He's doctor Darioidem.
Yeah, I'm just mad about that.
I told you he's a doctor. He's a doctor. Yeah, he's also a doctor. He's doctor, Dario Items. Yeah, I'm just mad about that.
I told you he's a doctor.
He's a great pharmacist.
Just the busiest wallet apart from anything else.
It's just like filled with badges and ID cards
and like qualifications and shit.
I'm obsessed with this man now.
Just on a plane like, is there a doctor on board?
He's like, I am a doctor,
three ambassadors, two banks, and a journalist. I also run, I also run, but it's essentially
a T.E.G. was my popular Facebook page. Please. This man is dying. Does anyone have any news from the island in Barbuda? And he is like, absolutely not.
I only have news from the better and larger island of Antigay.
That's so many interest to you.
He's the funny thing.
He says, about the Malaysian thing,
I was, you can believe me or not, the victim.
You can believe me or not.
I was, you can believe me or not, the victim, you can believe me or not. I was, you can believe me or not,
the victim of a fraudster.
I wasn't court and there's nothing left in that country,
Malaysia.
Every measure against me has been withdrawn.
Nothing left in that country.
And this is public.
And remember, remember, this is a good time to remember
that he's saying all this to a journalist who cold called him.
Awesome.
This is the guy for like putting a pound
in the Simpsons reference jar. This is the
O-Crap. I certainly shouldn't have said it was a legal guy. Like, word for word. Oh my
cool. Also, it's like it's this guy like if he was the like right wing dictator of a Central
American country, he would have 4,000 medals on his chest.
This is his version of that.
Yeah, he's like a civilian now that like we're in a democracy, he's just able to like go
around collecting stuff like this.
I want to live this life.
I want to be ambassador for three countries, be a Kentucky colonel, uh, fucking like have
a doctorate and something.
Couple of banks.
Yeah, yeah.
Because that's like, I can officiate weddings.
I'm actually, I'm a sea captain as well.
Or dained minister across five different religions.
He's actually a KFC major, but he's trying to get promoted.
This is a guy who like at the end of the book, you find out he's been eight guys who
bear like a enough reparsing resemblance to each other that they've been able to maintain all of these,
but they couldn't think up like eight names for their various interests and for others.
It's just easier if we're all Dario item.
My father, you have eight children. He called each one Dario item in the open. It was one day
really confused one financial times journalist and a bunch of podcasts.
So also like the if he's saying, oh yeah, I have a couple of financial services companies in Malaysia.
Where else does he have financial services companies? Probably all over the place.
And you know, I mean, when you are like a, all of these things tend to be connected
when you're this kind of like fixer,
who's like a lawyer for these people,
it's just you, you end up wearing like a mad hat or amount of hats.
But then I think actually the mad hat or only had one hat,
but it was just a pretty weird hat.
So here's where it gets best.
Among his other interests,
item also owns a message board for pizza enthusiasts,
called La Verrace, where he posts as an admin
under the name Napoli 72.
Awesome. Incredible.
And tested.
He has posted over 4,000 times on the forum he owns
and everything's like a, he mods it too.
Yeah, no, he owns it. He's, he mods it too. Yeah, no he owns it.
He's and Tegwin pizza low tax is what he is.
Yeah, do you ever think it's weird how everybody you know who like does jokes on Twitter all came
up on an antique and pizza message board together.
Please stop posting on the message board about the pizza restaurant in Barbuda. I am not interested
Once again to be clear is for antigen pizza only
It's my passion. It's my passion. Absolutely. It's absolutely my passion. I love cooking. I love cooking
Item told the journalist who called called him about a Swiss document. Oh my god. Amazing
He was banned from being a company officer in like a state of Malaysia and then he like
had his reputation management firm like take their shit off of their website.
It like incredible dude.
I'm looking at the forum now.
He also makes a fucking mean for Kacha.
Oh, I believe it.
I believe this guy is really good.
It looks really fucking good.
How come none of that's on his Instagram?
I know.
I think, I think, well, I know some of his web presence seems to be like pushing like tourism
for Antigua.
So there's, I found an interview where he's on a,
Oh,
doing an interview about, you know, why would, why would,
why should people come to Antigua and Bob Yuda? And he said,
well, there are 365 beaches on Antigua alone, which is a beach for
every day of the year. And 12 beaches on Bob Yuda.
Yeah.
Such a damning by faint praise.
Is he actually anti-barboota? That's like, okay, FT discovered the rest of it.
We've discovered that he's anti-barboota.
He has a favorite son here for sure.
Your move, Robert Smith.
I love the fickatch.
I mean, maybe it's just because we're recording this
and I'm quite hungry,
but I really, I want some of that fickatcha.
Can we invite Dario item in to like, you know,
right of reply?
Yeah.
This man should be allowed to give his side of the story
and also bring us a delicious forcature.
Okay, Darryl item, if you're going to hear this
and if you're anything like I think you are,
you probably are going to listen to it.
Please next time you're in London,
which I assume you're gonna do
for some kind of strange luxury thing.
Please. Please. Ambassador to the city some kind of strange luxury thing. Yeah. Please.
Ambassador to the city of London.
Please come to the studio.
We want to talk to you about pizza primarily.
Yeah.
We will interview you about pizza.
We don't care about it.
Also, we're one of the few people who are not interested in like stuffing you into a suitcase.
Like our interest in you, purely for catch your own pizza related.
We think you're cool.
Yeah. I want to be clear. We related. We think you're cool. Yeah, I wanna be clear.
We wanna learn with you.
Yeah, yeah.
I wanna learn about like,
I mean, first of all,
this dude installed a pizza oven in all of his houses,
which is presumably a ludicrous undertaking,
like hauling one of these things
up the mountain side of Monaco.
Like, he's got one in Lichtenstein,
he's got one in Spain.
He's got one in Antigua. Yeah, and that's the end of it, I'm Monaco. He's got one in Lichtenstein, he's got one in Spain. Got one in Antigua.
Yeah, and that's the end of it, I'm sure.
He seems like a man who'd only have the minimum amount of houses for the...
I should say there's a quote in this FT article.
You can't imagine how difficult it was to bring an oven to Antigua from Naples.
Oh.
Except baggage was probably be due.
You have to get together
didn't with the crane.
Dude, I, I love it from the Atlantic.
Yeah, really big.
It's whole space elevations sort of thing.
Yeah.
If you saw what I did here,
you could definitely conclude that I am crazy.
Well, what I'd like to conclude Dario item is please come on the podcast
Oh, sorry the right honorable Dr. Dario item I'm the anchor banker
I'm not going to see that to Spain. I've been sent to the lagoon
All right, all right. I'm gonna I'm gonna end it here cuz we're at 115
So I want to say number one Tom Walker Walker, always a pleasure to have you on
the show.
Enjoy the beer. Thank you for having me. You should check out Tom Walker on Twitch, where
I will often be found in chat. That's right. Yeah, check out there and I've got a podcast
with my wonderful fiance, Demi. It's called bigsofttitty.png, all one word. It's available on the island of Antigua.
Yeah, it's not Bob you know yet.
No, not Bob.
We haven't got a bit of sort of like lagoon spiritually.
It's a more equitable society.
All right, all right.
Everybody, there is also a Patreon.
It is $5 a month and you will receive the second of our four live shows.
We went on tour talking about Matthew Goodwin's terrible book, among other things.
This is the leads episode, which I think contains the startup that drove me the most insane
of any of the four.
Close second in Manchester.
That's going to be on the Patreon this week.
Also, there's writtenology.
There's writtenology.
There's a stream, slopped-out delivery,
Mondays and Thursdays from 9 to 11 PM,
where we will be streaming.
Yeah, there's the dream of a more equitable society.
In the lagoon.
Check out the lagoon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, also live dates for me.
I am around the place.
If you go to my website,
mylives.co.uk,
slash live dash shows, you can check out where I'm going to be.
Most importantly, though, June 11th, I will be in Manchester.
Are you in Manchester and would like to see me do stand-up comedy?
Before I am banished to the lagoon, please do come and check that out.
Excellent. All right, all Excellent. Alright, alright.
Well, our theme song is, here we go, by Jinsang.
You can find it in the lagoon.
That's alright.
If you've been banished there.
Alright, Tom needs to go to bed.
It's late for him.
He'll listening to, here we go, by Jinsang in the lagoon.
Alright, bye everybody.
Bye.
I'll go round.
Brian, Brian, what do you think the startup is?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha you