Triforce! - Simple Simon - Dead Workers Party

Episode Date: April 10, 2014

This week we are joined by the magnificent Brent and Eric from the deadworkersparty!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:01:17 Hello, gentlemen. Doing good. It is an honor to be on this here show. Look at your awesome studio. Those mics look like super awesome guitars or something, don't they? Yeah. They've got magical powers. They do. They glow.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Yep, yep. Lewis, why don't we have glowing mics? Look at the state of your mic, and look at this. This doesn't glow. It's great. This is shit. I'm not putting up with this. I'm not doing Simple Simon until I get a glowing mic.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Okay, I'll write it on the list. Okay. Glowing mic. Simon's list of Lady Gaga style... What's it called? A rider. A rider, yes. You get skittles.
Starting point is 00:01:57 What skittles do you get? Red skittles? No, Jaffa cakes. I want Jaffa cakes, not skittles. Don't care about skittles. Skittles. Well, this is a quiz show for people who don't know where we ask Simon simple questions about our guests
Starting point is 00:02:11 and hopefully he'll be able to get them right and they'll award him points. So, as an example, what would Brent and Eric's rider be if they were, you know, playing a gig, playing a stadium? What are their requests, Simon? I would go for they want lots of fresh fruit, maybe grapefruits, and probably some delicious meats like sausages. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:35 I reckon they love their grapefruits and sausages, Lewis. I reckon they really do love them, and that's not based on a previous conversation that we just had before we started recording the show. at all i i i'm psychic it's just come to me that they love that they love that stuff um yeah and glowing microphones they love red glowing microphones and probably uh probably some uh male facial grooming kits they like having beard trimmers just uh spruce themselves up before they go on air. What's the answer, guys?
Starting point is 00:03:09 I, yeah. I about nailed it, really. I'm more for the meat, though. You're what? I'm more for the meat, though. The meat, yeah. I think Eric's more of a grapefruit guy. Fruit.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Yeah, fruit's good, yeah. Although meat is really good. If I get to have a swimming pool of spaghetti and just swim in it. Spaghetti's not a meat, though. It really isn't. Well, you put meat in there. It's got meatballs in there somewhere. You have to find them.
Starting point is 00:03:38 That's the game. Yeah, that's right. You always got to find a place to put the meat. Like Marco, Bolo. I imagine it's like bobbing for apples. You just dive in and you try to come up with a meatball in your mouth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:52 I'm not coming over to his pool party. That's all I'm saying. So, how many points can you give Simon for that? Oh, that's worth at least three. I'll add one to it I'll add one to it
Starting point is 00:04:06 So four total? Four? That's generous Thank you That's very good of you Thank you very much Lewis is writing it down Yeah, well I've decided that the scoring system
Starting point is 00:04:15 Needs to be revamped But you guys have been very good With just sticking to the normal stuff So, questions Let's start Simon, what are Brent and Eric's middle names? How am I supposed to guess this? Should I, like, Google their names or something?
Starting point is 00:04:33 Yeah, they're from Alabama. Don't Google. No cheats. Just use your brainium. Come on. Okay, so Brent. Yes, sir. Brent.
Starting point is 00:04:43 The mad one. I did call him that Yes But that was No They're not supposed to know that That was behind their backs Lewis
Starting point is 00:04:51 That's not how it works As in angry No The The Crazy one Well You know
Starting point is 00:04:58 I was trying to think of a nicer word Than that The Oh my god Brent I reckon You know I don't think he has a middle name word than that. Oh my god. Brent. I reckon, you know, I don't think he has a middle name. I don't think he needs one. I think Brent
Starting point is 00:05:11 is enough. He just needs just that one name, like Cher. He is just Brent. That's it. That's, yes. Eric? Eric? God. What was his name?
Starting point is 00:05:28 Eric Marco Eric Marco Malcolm Yeah sure that sounds like a name Malcolm I could read that Eric Malcolm Okay Yes
Starting point is 00:05:37 How close am I guys? Do they even know each other's middle names? They must do They're really close What's my middle name Eric? Brent Oh you got it Oh He didn't know it before the show even know each other's middle names. They must do. They're really close. What's my middle name, Eric? Uh, Brent. Oh, you got it! He didn't know it before the show. He had to think.
Starting point is 00:05:51 We'll be honest about that. Your middle name is actually Brent. Are you named after your father? Is your first name your father's name? My father's stepfather was named Brent. But you kind of got it right, right? That's all I need. I agree with you there. So I may just drop the actual first name, which no one knows. Secret.
Starting point is 00:06:10 We'll never know now. No. So you are just like Cher. You are Brent. Yes. So I'll give you four points for that one. What about you, Mr. Fullerton? So you said Marco?
Starting point is 00:06:25 Or no, Malcolm? Malcolm. We went with Malcolm in the end. That is very close. You got the M-A correct. My middle name is Maxwell. Holy shit, Simon. That was fairly close, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:06:37 Oh, my God. Do you just have to go with your guts or whatever it is, your instinct, and it will lead you down the right path? The guts are down here. The brain's up here. Well, I usually think you think with your instinct, and it will lead you down the right path. The guts are down here. The brain's up here. I usually think you think with your stomach, though, Simon. Or my heart, which is like whichever side it is. It's one of these.
Starting point is 00:06:53 From the inside. Yeah, I use my insides, and I channel my insides, and then it comes out of my mouth hole. That's right. It's been working out. And then you also just watch an episode of Malcolm in the Middle. Yes. That always helps.
Starting point is 00:07:09 So how many points did you get for that? Eric? Okay, let's see. You get 96 points for that one. That was very good. 96. So four plus 96. I'm not sure about the scoring system.
Starting point is 00:07:25 It's gone wild again. That's 100 points. First round, 4 points. Second round, 100. 104. That's easy. I can add that up. I don't mind.
Starting point is 00:07:33 Okay. Great. That was a great round. Okay. So, Simon, what famous actors do people always say Brent and Eric look like? You always get it, don't you, Simon? You know, they confuse you in the street
Starting point is 00:07:48 for famous actors like... Like Thorum Oakenshield. Or more likely the fat one that always eats cakes in the morning. That's the one. Yeah. Thanks, my fans, for that. Always tweeting me messages of that guy. yeah thanks thanks my fans for that always like tweeting
Starting point is 00:08:05 me messages of that guy what what do they look like I'm gonna go with Robert Downey Jr Brent
Starting point is 00:08:16 no Eric Robert Downey Jr Eric and Brent oh god I reckon oh god I'm not sure Robert Downey Jr., Eric, and Brent. Oh, God. I reckon...
Starting point is 00:08:27 Oh, God. I'm not sure who... It's the hair. It's got to be someone with that kind of hair, isn't it? Oh, God. Who was the guy in Roseanne? Who was the guy who's in all the Coen Brothers movies? I can't remember his name.
Starting point is 00:08:44 John Goodman. Oh, John Goodman. John Good. I can't remember his name. John Goodman. Oh, John Goodman. John Goodman. Robert Downey Jr. and John Goodman. This is what happens, guys, when you get old, you see. You used to be told when you were young that you looked like people, and this is going to happen to me and Simon as well, but when we're in our 30s, like you are,
Starting point is 00:09:00 we're going to run into these problems. So who were you always told that you looked like? So first off, you nailed that one. I've gotten Robert Downey Jr. at various stores and conventions. Of course, I'm a lot more muscular than the real Robert Downey Jr. That's right. And a lot richer. But in my early days when I was bigger
Starting point is 00:09:27 and I used to wear trench coats and sometimes I'd put a backwards hat on, I always got Kevin Smith, the bigger Kevin Smith, and I had long hair too. Which one do you like better being called? Robert Downey Jr., of course. Is it because he's fat?
Starting point is 00:09:42 Do you have a problem with fat people? Yes. No. Yes. Oh. Yes. Oh. Oh. And you're absolutely wrong on mine. I get over and over again Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Oh, God, yes. And yesterday I went to the gas station, and the guy goes, well, I guess we know it's not you. Wow. I was like, yeah, but my wife needs me to quit doing heroin. I was like, is that too soon? Oh, God! Oh, dear! I think he'd appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Philip Seymour, I can see it. I can totally see it. Wow. I think in Twister days, maybe. They're good answers. Oh, that was good. So, Quacky, that's a pretty good scoring, actually, Simon. You got one of them. Bang on. So how many points are you going to get for that?
Starting point is 00:10:29 I'm giving him 100 for mine. 100? That was great. I'm going to have to go with negative four. Negative four? Minus four. Negative four. I don't know why I'm writing this down.
Starting point is 00:10:38 It's easy. 200. We're at 200. 200 points. If you can make the scoring easy for me, I'm going to give you nice questions. So, Brent and Eric are really, really close friends. They've always been close friends, much like me and you, Simon. Like me and you, what's one of the strangest things
Starting point is 00:10:55 that they've ever done as close friends? How personal is this going to get? I'm a bit worried. I don't... I'm a bit worried. I'm talking weird things. Maybe they got drunk together, they went fishing. Or weirdest thing they've ever bought. When you're close friends with someone, you tend to do really good things to them,
Starting point is 00:11:19 emotional things for them and things like this. Do we? Yeah, I buy you lovely things. It's very one-sided. I brought you a cup of tea in today. I guess that counts, but that's not very exciting. It's the most generous thing I've seen from you for a long time. Do you want to show them what I got you for Christmas, actually?
Starting point is 00:11:35 I wonder if you can go and get it. It might be plugged in. It's a bit heavy. I think it's easier to move the webcam, isn't it? Maybe. Let's just go on tour.'t know. Can we see it? Let's go on tour. Over here.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Can we see there in the middle? Yeah. That's Dovahkiin statue there that Lewis got me. Isn't that lovely? It's enormous. It's a bit, yeah. You had to build shelves for it. I did.
Starting point is 00:12:02 I did have to build. Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you doing, everyone? We're good. That is wonderful. That's a wonderful view. Thank you, Simon.
Starting point is 00:12:15 So, yes, what do you think? It's not... I know what the answer is. I reckon they got drunk and they swapped clothes. Am I close? Was drink involved? Swapping clothes involved?
Starting point is 00:12:30 Not saying that maybe that hasn't happened, but really I think I've been trying to set up Eric with my sister-in-law so we would actually be, if they got married, legally blooded. Yeah, we'd be brothers, kind of. Oh my god. That's a very Alabama thing to do. Just want to keep it in the family.
Starting point is 00:12:56 Oh my god. Wow, what an answer that is. Good god. So you were kind of close. No, not at all unfortunately me and Simon don't have sisters but I think we would have
Starting point is 00:13:08 we would have gone down the same path honestly I could see that happening Simon I could marry your brother maybe would that work he's already married
Starting point is 00:13:16 oh damn to a nice lady then you could bring him to happily happily married my goodness well that was a great answer how close was he
Starting point is 00:13:24 how many points is he going to get for that? Negative 50. Oh! Negative 50. You never swap clothes. Oh, we've done that a few times, Simon.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I don't think we actually swap clothes. No? No. No. You ever tried to dress up as the other one? Maybe, you know,
Starting point is 00:13:44 that's an idea for later tonight. Negative 25. Yeah, I think we have done that. We'll cut that deficit in half. Well, 7-5. I'm trying to save you some points here, Simon. That was good.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Thank you. Thank you very much. Simon, what's the worst thing Brent and Eric have ever eaten? Oh, God. I reckon they probably... They probably have had a barbecue and the food wasn't cooked properly. I'm guessing that's a very American-y, sort of family thing to do.
Starting point is 00:14:17 You have a barbecue, there's a bunch of meat that someone might have gotten on the cheap. Maybe the meat was a bit off and everyone got sick at the barbecue. Everyone turns up with They bring meat That's the whole thing If you go to a barbecue
Starting point is 00:14:28 You bring meat There's always too much And there's some poor guy there This is a cow I got it from my ranch I killed it this morning And they didn't They killed it like three months ago
Starting point is 00:14:37 And you had like the steaks off of it And everyone got ill Is that how I'm guessing? Did you burn to Alabama? That's exactly what he says, is it? Almost nailed it, huh? So mine is battery acid. I'm sorry?
Starting point is 00:14:54 Battery acid. It was probably the spiciest thing I've ever eaten. Is it literally battery acid? Yeah. Actual, real battery acid? Yeah. I mean, it was a little dry. It was dried up.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Okay, so the story is I was getting ready to go grocery shopping one day, and my car wouldn't start. So I took my key out, and I'm scraping at the battery connectors, you know, to get all the battery acid gunk out of it, you know. And then it started up, and then I got home, and I got all these bags and stuff, and I got my keys. I'm trying to grab everything, and sometimes I have a habit of just putting stuff in my mouth to hold it as an extra hand.
Starting point is 00:15:36 So I put my keys in my mouth as I grab all this stuff, and I go up to the door, and my mouth is burning, and I'm wondering what's going on. I think i'm having like a stroke or something and it was just like so i burned all day all night worst thing i ever ate oh my god i can't believe i mean you've still got your mouth it hasn't melted away or anything yeah yeah you still got your tongue wow and we're learning things. I'm glad to know that you like to put things in your mouth. That's pretty dangerous stuff. I mean, I think it depends what kind of battery it is,
Starting point is 00:16:11 but it's usually like some sulfuric acid with lead or something like that in it. So, yeah, it's not nice. And I think it's sort of one of these cumulative things where it builds up in your body over time. But I suppose as long as you're not licking batteries regularly, you'll probably be all right. Yeah. I mean it would serve me well to do that
Starting point is 00:16:27 so I could build up a tolerance. Yeah in case anyone tried to poison you with batteries. I don't think it works to build up a tolerance. I think it would just kill you over time. That's the problem. Yeah I think that's a big misconception isn't it? Don't do that. If you're watching this do not try and eat batteries to build up a tolerance
Starting point is 00:16:44 to batteries. Don't do that to build up a tolerance to batteries. Don't do that. That's a really terrible idea. Safety first. Don't eat batteries. God, that's a bad one. What's Brent's? I can't think of anything worse.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Fuck me. Neither can I. No, maybe I shouldn't answer. But I used to eat on the cheap. Cyanide. Yes. You can't eat. No. I used to eat on the cheap and I'd go to Walmart, like the cheap store, and get their chicken
Starting point is 00:17:10 that was on sale because it was super late. And man, I got a batch of that that just I puked all night long into the next day. And now I can't eat like that fried chicken anymore. Oh, what? Oh, my God. That's terrible. What a terrible story. You can't eat fried chicken anymore
Starting point is 00:17:26 well just from walmart just from walmart worse than the battery eric's never gonna touch another battery he's never gonna eat another battery now he's done but fried chicken oh my god it's a disaster so i don't think i wasn't too close with that one, was I, Lewis? No, you were pretty far away, actually, on that. But there was bad meat involved in my guess. There was. So that's fairly close.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Yeah. Maybe just a nil. Yeah, how about a zero? What do you mean a nil? Under? You're not under? Come on, I was close. You can't give me no points for being close.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Come on. We're going to give you a negative pointage. That's right. Yeah. We gave you a discount. Zero. I don't know why I'm writing that down. Thanks, guys.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Still at 175. Simon, as you well know, Eric and Brent run The Shaft. A couple of questions. When were we a guest on The Shaft? Do you remember which episode number and when it was oh my god and also how many episodes
Starting point is 00:18:28 have there been oh god why would you do this this is just going to embarrass me I'm not allowed to google am I no you're not
Starting point is 00:18:38 no we were on episode 79 okay and so far there have been they're up to like episode fucking Well, we were on episode 79. Okay. And so far, they're up to episode fucking 300 or something now. God knows, they've been doing it for so long. Yeah, that's my answer.
Starting point is 00:19:01 We were on episode 79, and they're currently on episode 341. What was the date that we did it? It was April 2011. Okay. I'm making it up. I can't remember. How close are they to the actual answer, guys? Do you have the evidence there?
Starting point is 00:19:21 It was episode 23 that y'all appeared. So not 79. Not 79. Only like 50-something off. And I think we're up to 168. Yep. Yep. So pretty accurate. What date was it that we were on, though?
Starting point is 00:19:37 2011. It was 2011? Yep. What month? Uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh. Points for stumping us. So how many points? Yep. What month? Uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh. Points for stumping us.
Starting point is 00:19:48 So how many points? Let's see. Well, he did get a double digit, so he got... Maybe 23 points? Yeah, there you go. 23. That's a good one, yeah. All things considered, I think that's quite generous. 23.
Starting point is 00:20:03 198. Good answer. That was good. That was a good question. Simon, if there were action figures made of Brent and Eric, what accessories would they come with in the blister pack?
Starting point is 00:20:18 So you get the Brent doll with the crazy hair and beard and then you get an accessory. What is it? What comes with them? It wouldn't be fried chicken. I know that now. No. God, I...
Starting point is 00:20:30 I'm thinking something... Are you trying to give me a clue by, like, looking... A microphone, maybe? I'm thinking a microphone he would have. Just off the top of my head. Maybe he would have a microphone. And Eric, I think a guitar, maybe.
Starting point is 00:20:56 It'd be like they're almost like a band, you know? You're spotting the two guitars behind them there. What do you mean? I'm a bit sort of interested. Well, I've got to go on something, Lewis. You know, it's almost like this clue. Yeah, yeah. That was good.
Starting point is 00:21:13 It was like, yeah, you were really definitely into that. What's the answer, you guys? What would you get with the models? Let's see. I would love, this is my favorite thing is to have like maybe a removable fist.
Starting point is 00:21:27 So you could put like a chainsaw on it. You could put like a mechanical metal fist, like hand, maybe a hook, like a whole variety of accessories for my left hand. This is, that's terrifying. Oh my God. And you can put like a guitar in my arm, you know, and like have other people, like I could play it. I could play my own hand.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Oh my God. It's possible. Okay, sure. I couldn't have guessed that. Oh my God. That was out there. I like your thinking though. That was good. Oh my God. That was out there. I like your thinking though. That was good.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Oh my god. What about Brent though? I think you got close. I would go with the hoodie. Oh, that's what you were pointing at. Your hoodie. I tried, but a microphone and guitar. He'd come with like a whole range of clothes that he could change into
Starting point is 00:22:21 like a fashion doll. Like a Barbie. But I'd love the microphone and guitar in there too. That's a good one. That's pretty close. We'll give him like 50 points for that. Okay. Sounds good. Blimey. Thank you very much. That's very good of you. Thanks.
Starting point is 00:22:37 I love how we swap from individual points to like a group. Yeah, right. Works. Well, I gave him 25 and you gave him 25 works I like that right next question what
Starting point is 00:22:52 cocktails do Eric and Brent order at a bar where they can't see the restaurant so there's a restaurant
Starting point is 00:22:59 where they can't see the menu so they go up to the bar in this swanky bar it's really really black marble bar there's really really like black marble bar there's a really like waiter with a bow tie behind he's like hello sir yeah they are they're super
Starting point is 00:23:12 classy what do they order uh are there any cocktails with mountain dew in i'm not sure um jack daniels and mountain. Is there a name for that? Oh, my God. What would that be called? Probably the bomb. It would be called the battery acid. That's what it would be called. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:23:38 God, I don't know. Probably whiskey or, you know, bourbon-based cocktails, I'm thinking. Oh, God, I don't know. I don't know many cocktails. They're from the deep south. They'd order it in a jam jar. In a jam jar. Yeah. Yeah, a jam jar with Jack Daniels in or Southern Comfort
Starting point is 00:23:59 with maybe like just a tiny, tiny drop of Coke or lemonade, and the rest would just be whiskey. I reckon that's the kind of thing they would go for. Okay, what is it, guys? What is it? So I'm not much of a whiskey fan, but I love rum. So I usually go with rum and soda. But really my favorite thing to get at a bar is a shot of Jägermeister.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Keep it simple. Oh God. You're in a classy cocktail bar. You're wearing a tux and you're asking for a shot of Jäger. A Jäger bomb. It gets worse. It gets worse because I would probably just get a Bud Light bottle without the glass.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Oh my God. Or a margarita. You'd be without the glass. Oh, my God. Or a margarita. You'd be thrown out. Get out of my establishment. Get out of my ass! But I tip well. I tip well, though. So that makes up for it. Sure.
Starting point is 00:24:57 That's good. And then you get the guitars out, and it's like a kind of RPG fantasy setting. You just start earning your keep by playing the lute. Exactly. You would definitely be thrown out. You're going in there with musical instruments, you're ordering a bottle of beer and a shot of Jager in this fancy cocktail bar.
Starting point is 00:25:16 You could have had a martini. You could have been all fancy. You could have had an olive in it. It would have been like, oh. You wouldn't been picking up ladies Bud Light is very fancy down here in the south oh my god it's true
Starting point is 00:25:30 it's the good stuff I mean they even take off the top that's right it screws right off yeah screw off the lid do they put like a little bit of lime in the top or anything only if they want to get shot
Starting point is 00:25:43 yeah that's right we have guns down here. Oh my god. Is it just out of shot? Just out of shot on the left-hand side there's a big gun rack. Yeah, we keep our pistols in our boots.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Oh my god. So it's the rack of guitars and next to it out of shot is all the guns, shotguns. Yep. Oh my god. And chainsaws. And spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Yeah, spaghetti and meatballs. I don't think I was close with that one, was I? I think maybe we should get minus points for that one. Yeah, I think you should too. So, what do you say? 10 apiece? There you go.
Starting point is 00:26:23 20. There you go. 26. 20. 20 total. There you go. 2-6-8. You're doing good. 2-6-8. This is a nice score. Okay, next question.
Starting point is 00:26:39 What are Brent and Eric's favourite Olympic sports to watch or take part in? So if they were forced into the Olympics, what would they end up... What events would they be doing? So they're representing America in the Olympic Games. That's right. There's been a terrible administrative error. Oh, my God. There's got to be something involving shooting. So I don't know know is clay pigeon shooting?
Starting point is 00:27:06 is that an Olympic sport? I know that there's the biathlon in the Winter Olympic Games so that's like skiing and shooting so maybe that but they probably would miss all the targets and just like shoot deer or something that had wandered on
Starting point is 00:27:22 to the course and bring it around to next door's barbecue. They're skiing off with a deer on their back. Off they go. With a shot of Jäger in their hand. Yeah, I'm thinking clay pigeon shooting or the biathlon skiing and
Starting point is 00:27:42 shooting. It's got to be that surely. What have you got guys? I would definitely go with the biathlon. and shooting it's got to be it's got to be that surely what have you got guys i would definitely go with the biathlon i think you're you're dead on there a little shooting a little exercise skiing as well love skiing yeah yeah anything that involves shooting i think is is pretty awesome to watch uh i really like uh what what is the uh in the winter games is it a lugeuge? A luge? They get really close. It's like a bullet coming down a slide. A guy died doing that. You know what I'm talking about?
Starting point is 00:28:13 Is it the sled one or the toboggan? It looks like a bullet. There's like four dudes in it. Oh, yeah. Bob sled. Oh, the bob sled. That's it, yeah. Cool Rollings.
Starting point is 00:28:23 I love that. Yeah, I think they're going to the Winter Olympics this year, aren't they? Or something. The Jamaican bobsled team or something like that. I heard that. Yeah, they're like sponsored by the doji. Doke. Doke coin.
Starting point is 00:28:33 By Bitcoin. Oh, Jesus. Doke. Oh, my God. How awful. That's if the fucking thing goes, because like half of the stuff isn't built yet in the Winter Olympics, is it, in Russia? It's all disaster, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah and they're like
Starting point is 00:28:47 toilets they don't want you to use toilet paper or something put the paper in a bin provided but if a toilet paper can't flush paper how is it going to cope with solid material especially if bread should be in chicken
Starting point is 00:29:03 and they didn't show the other bucket like I don't think anything's supposed to go in the actual solid material in there. Especially if bread's been in chicken. Oh, God. And they didn't show the other bucket. Like, I don't think anything's supposed to go in the actual toilet. What's the point of it, then? Would you wash your hands in it? I don't know what they do in Russia. Who knows?
Starting point is 00:29:17 They probably don't wash their hands in the toilet, Lewis. Just guessing. I don't know much about Russian culture. Wow, that was an amazing answer. What sports would you actually end up playing? Oh yeah, you said. What was the score then? That was pretty good though. I feel like that was pretty... I don't know. How high can you go
Starting point is 00:29:33 without like... It's pretty good. He didn't do track and field. He didn't do lobbing a javelin or anything like that. I don't think it was worth a thousand. Maybe a hundred. How about another hundred? Okay, a hundred. Another hundred.
Starting point is 00:29:46 A hundred points. They were debating giving you a thousand points there. That would have been a bit... Very close. Just keep in mind, Eric's the one who talked us out of a thousand points. I'm going to remember that. That's Maxwell to you. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:30:03 What was the last board game Brent and Eric played together and who won? Oh, God. Board games. I don't know if they play much board games. I can't picture them sitting down playing chess together unless it's shots of the pieces. Wow. So, you know, they're just drinking chess they're playing.
Starting point is 00:30:28 God, Monopoly or Risk, maybe something traditional. Maybe it would have been Settlers of Catan. Maybe. Maybe. How many years ago was this? Go on, you guys. Okay, so what was it would it be grand prix oh yeah probably grand prix yeah uh at uh whatever last convention we went to yeah the dead workers party party yeah our convention is uh it's a car racing board game go figure it's like we've got
Starting point is 00:31:03 car for the board games you You have that? Grand Prix? Yeah, it's good. You get a little gear stick, don't you? Or something. Yeah, and you move your little car and you can trap people in the lanes and stuff. I've never heard of this. Oh, man. It's pretty cool. And who did you say won? Who did you think won?
Starting point is 00:31:20 I didn't say who I thought won. Was that even the question? Yeah it was Was it? I reckon It's 50-50 I reckon Brent won
Starting point is 00:31:35 Brent totally kicked Eric's ass at it Yeah Eric won No! Oh god I couldn't be more wrong if I tried Yeah I had to admit that. Oh, thanks, Obama. He's a Grand Prix master.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Like, every time we pull out the board games, it's like, we need to play Grand Prix. It's just I have to make sure the battery is working before I get in the car. And he just has the dead eyes. I mean, he gets serious, and it's auto-racing. Yeah, I start foaming at the mouth. Holy crap. Well, that is fantastic. That was not a good round for me. Yeah, I start foaming at the mouth. Holy crap. Well, that is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:32:07 That was not a good round for me. No, that was not a good round. What's the score? We're done a little bit. Well, he did mention a game. Yeah, I know. There was a game being mentioned. A board game.
Starting point is 00:32:21 I got that right. That was the question. Ten points? There you go. I'll give him five. You give him five. That was the question. So 10 points. There you go. I'll give him five. You give him five. Okay. So 10 total.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Or I give him eight and you give him two. Okay. That works too. Or what if I give him four and you give him six? That'll work too. Okay. Okay. Thank you. 378.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Doing good, Simon. Well done. Well, these questions are going great. I've got a few sort of short ones to end on. So, Simon, do they prefer... I guess this sort of shows their age, really, but what do they prefer out of the following? Dragon Force, Dragonborn, or Dragon Ball Z?
Starting point is 00:33:01 Oh, my God. Oh, God. They like their music. They like their guitars. Oh my god Oh god They like their music They like their guitars I'm gonna go with Dragonforce What is Dragonforce? No! Oh damn it
Starting point is 00:33:17 I feel like we should know that I feel like we're really showing our age now Dungeons and Dragons? Is it an RPG? Dragon Force is like a band. They're a rock band. They've got a long hair, death metal singer. They're amazing.
Starting point is 00:33:32 They're British, I think. They play the guitar really, really quickly. Like, crazy fast. It's like that. I've seen a lot of rock bands. Through the Fire and Flames. Yeah. Is that one of those epic choirs singing in the background
Starting point is 00:33:51 and symphony and metal guitars going? Probably. That's probably it. We saw them live in Bristol. Me and Duncan did. Yeah, they're good. That should be my answer. It sounds like something we'd like.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Yeah. You'd like them. You should check them out. They're awesome. So it wasn't that. It was probably Dragonborn, I guess, because you wouldn't like Dragonborn Z like. You'd like them. You should check them out. They're awesome. So it wasn't that. It was probably Dragonborn, I guess, because you wouldn't like Dragonborn Z, I guess, you guys. That can't be right, can it?
Starting point is 00:34:11 So what's Dragonborn? Grief. We're digging a hole here. Dragonborn is from Skyrim. The Dragonborn. Oh, yeah, that thing. I'll be honest, I've never played Skyrim. I played it, but I didn't play a whole lot of it. And I'm not really a big Dragon Ball Z fan,
Starting point is 00:34:29 but I would say Dragon Force because even though I didn't know about it, it sounds awesome. Can we have a power metal riff on your guitars? Can we have a bit of guitar? I want to hear a bit of the pro guitar. Is that possible? Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:34:41 A little bit of that. Is that the... Oh my god A little bit of Is that Is that the Oh god Wow There you go That was amazing Was that like Dragon Force? Yeah
Starting point is 00:35:04 Did we hit it? Pretty close Pretty close. Pretty close. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. I'll have to go with Dragon Force, too. Yeah, it's awesome. So spot on.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Spot on. That was amazing. Miraculously. That was a great question, because we learned something from that question as well. A lot. What are you thinking? The big one? I think the big one.
Starting point is 00:35:21 1,000 points. 1,000 points. 1,000 points. Holy crap. Good grief. Excellent big one. 1,000 points. 1,000 points. 1,000 points. Holy crap. Good grief. Excellent. Yeah? Excellent.
Starting point is 00:35:28 1,378. Next question. Brent and Eric have just been hired to a promotional position. There must be a terrible administrative error at Kellogg's. If cereal making and other cereal making companies are available. But you're working for a breakfast cereal company. What are you going to put in your new breakfast cereal as a gimmick and what are you going to call it?
Starting point is 00:35:53 Guns. They're going to put guns in a breakfast cereal. What, little chewy marshmallow ones? And it's going to be Jager flavoured. Wow. Jager flavoured breakfast cereal with a free gun. An actual gun in every box. Is it like a Glock?
Starting point is 00:36:07 Like just a small pistol? Or is it going to be one of those... It's not going to be a rifle. How is that going to fit in a cereal packet? Unless there's a small part of a rifle in each packet and you have to collect them all in order to make the rifle.
Starting point is 00:36:21 That's a brilliant idea, Lewis. That is a brilliant idea you've had there. What's it called? The breakfast cereal. Oh, God. Dead breakfast party. That's a great idea. What's the answer, guys?
Starting point is 00:36:39 So close. I was thinking it would be guns with a Z, and you'd have little marshmallow gun pieces, like guns with a Z, and you'd have, like, little marshmallow, like, gun pieces, like scopes and things, and then the rifles would be, like, the little crunchy bits. Yeah. So. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:57 And I didn't just think of that right there. I mean, I've been planning that for a long time. So it's sort of like Alphabetti spaghetti, but it's guns and marshmallows. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't taste of like alfabetty spaghetti, but it's guns and marshmallows. Yes. Yeah. It doesn't taste of Jager, though. Well, maybe that would be the prize in it. Just a shot of Jager.
Starting point is 00:37:13 For all the kids. It comes in a little sachet, like a sealed little sachet. It'd be just like hunting in Alabama. Have your gun, cereal for breakfast, take your Jager and your gun and then go shoot some deer. Sets you up for the day, doesn't it? Breakfast of champions.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Might take a couple boxes with you. I'm thinking my cereal would be a cinnamon ball crunch. It would be cinnamon meatballs but there would be a crunch to it. But that would be the mystery that's the secret sauce that I don't want to mention
Starting point is 00:37:47 so deep in the center of these meatballs is a crunchy center that is the last thing you want in spaghetti isn't it a crunchy thing in there and the prize that comes with it is like an attachment for your fist it's a spoon
Starting point is 00:38:03 it's like a chainsaw or a guitar or something that just fits onto your fist. That's right. It's a spoon. It's like a chainsaw or a guitar or something that just fits onto your fist. A big spoon. That's great. Collect them all. God, that would be
Starting point is 00:38:16 a really shit superhero power wouldn't it if your hand just turned into a big spoon. Help me spoon hand. Spoon hand. I am stuck in this quicksand. Oh, I could dig you out with this spoon.
Starting point is 00:38:28 Oh, my God. That's a brilliant superhero. Can we copyright it? Sure. Spoon man. Sure. I'll file the trademark thing this afternoon. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Let's do it. How many points was that? That's got to be a lot of points there. So you got the gun part pretty good. Yeah, I'll give 40 for my half. 40? I'll throw them
Starting point is 00:38:49 20. Okay. 60. Thank you very much. Thank you for that. You're very welcome. 1,438 we're up to.
Starting point is 00:38:59 I'm glad I'm keeping notes actually. This is fantastic. Okay, last question. Simon. What are Brent and Eric's best scars or tattoos? That's not the last question, Lewis. We know what the last question is, and that isn't it.
Starting point is 00:39:15 Penultimate question. And the story of how they ended up with those scars or tattoos. What do you think? Okay, what is their favourite scars, and where did they get them from? Or tattoos, yeah do you reckon i've got tattoos i know brent's got a big scar down his throat i'm sorry eric's got a big scar down his throat from that battery acid yeah yeah do emotional scars count oh god probably shouldn't if we're in alabama we we got a lot of those. Oh, my God, yeah. I reckon Brent's got tattoos.
Starting point is 00:39:51 He's probably got a tattoo of a rose with, like, his mum's name on it or something. Eric, I reckon Eric's got a really, he's got a big appendix scar from when he had his appendix out. And he likes to tell girls that he got it like in a knife fight or something yeah yeah that was a big man he was six foot six he had this massive knife
Starting point is 00:40:13 and he went for me and then he shows off the scar and this is what he did he had a chainsaw hand and he just cut me so yeah that's
Starting point is 00:40:24 that's my my guess. Go then. So you make us sound like real badasses, and my answer is really far from that. So I don't have any tattoos. No tattoos. I want tattoos.
Starting point is 00:40:38 I just don't have any tattoos. I don't really have any scars, but I have one scar, and it's on my face, and it's very tiny. It is from scratching chicken pox when I was seven years old. Your mother always
Starting point is 00:40:52 tells you, you know, they always say, don't scratch them. It'll leave a scar for the rest of your life. Yeah, whatever. Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch. So I have this tiny little hole. You're like a walking PSA for chicken pox scratching. So that's my battle scar from my childhood. I think I've got a few of them on my face, actually.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Like, up here. You see one there? It's a chicken pox scar. Oh, my God. Oh, goodness. It's pretty clear, pretty white. Now, my story is pretty badass. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:41:20 So I was, like, in, I think, first grade, and we were having a treehouse war, you know, like the other group down the street, and you were fighting for no reason besides your kids, and you do that. And someone threw this board like a Frisbee, and it was all shredded on the edge, and it hit me in the chin, just went poof. And my chin was all bleeding, and I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to get stitches and stuff. And my chin was all bleeding. And I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to get stitches and stuff. So now I have this scar across my chin. And that's pretty much why I've grown the facial hair out to cover that ugly thing out. So yeah, it's pretty badass.
Starting point is 00:41:55 But you don't have tattoos? I don't have tattoos. And it's probably because of the south thing. My mom would always say, if you ever get a tattoo, it's just going to make me cry. And it was just kind of like this. would always say, if you ever get a tattoo, it's just going to make me cry. It was just kind of like this. My brother ended up getting a tattoo, and he covers it up whenever he goes to
Starting point is 00:42:09 my parents' pool so they can't see it with a band-aid. They don't watch this, do they? No, no. They have no clue what's going on. And the funny thing is it's a tattoo of a four-leaf clover. I'm like, are you hiding it because you don't want them to see it
Starting point is 00:42:25 or because you're embarrassed of it? He should get a lovely butterfly on his ankle or something. Yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, a little tramp stamp. Hey, Hunter, look at my tattoo. Isn't that funny? His name's Hunter.
Starting point is 00:42:39 It goes down here in the south. I'm surprised you haven't had some sort of Minecraft tattoo done, you know, like a creeper or, I don't know, like a gaming one, like a Triforce or something. They're quite common, aren't they? That stuff is permanent. Yes. I think that's the point, isn't it? That's a good response, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:43:00 I'm a pretty big guy. Any tattoo I get, I've got to look at if I gain more weight or lose it, it's not going to look the same. Yeah, it's going to change shapes. It'll be like the Creepers exploding. Oh my God! And spaghetti came out of them, apparently. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:43:21 I don't think I did too good there. That wasn't my strongest round when you called that we were bad asses I think you nailed that and we've shown that I think you could have just run with that guys you could have just gone yeah I got shot here
Starting point is 00:43:36 I lost one of my toes when I was in the Vietnam it could have totally gone wild with it. But no, you were like, no, we've never done anything dangerous. It was a treehouse war. I scratched my chicken pox. You got hit by a two by four by one of your friends on your chin,
Starting point is 00:43:58 and that caused some injury. What's the score at now? Not that we're basing points off that. Not at all. It's on 1,438. So 62? Okay. 62. Round it up.
Starting point is 00:44:16 62 big ones. 62 points. 62 of the biggest ones. Okay. Now comes the final round where you get to bet it all on whether Simon can guess using his senses, his powerful pie senses, what kind of pie you like. So simple Simon, of course, enjoyed pies. He knew that a good pie was coming down the road to him and he bought it from the pie man.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Simon, what are Brent and Eric's pies of choice? Oh, God. Oh, God. I mean, right, they're from the south, they're American, they're in the south. It's got to be something really traditional. It's got to be apple pie. I reckon they both love apple pie with cream. Apple pie with cream. Whipped cream. Apple pie, warm apple pie. Lovely warm apple pie and whipped cream. Oh, my God, there's some nodding going on. What's the answer, guys?
Starting point is 00:45:12 Apple pie. Oh, yeah! Nice! Success. Oh, Simon, you went traditional, but you played it safe. You got it right. Just thank God you didn't say with cheese on top because i hear people do that and that creeps me out or me nine does it's what day
Starting point is 00:45:30 nine does we couldn't believe it could we when we when when you even guessed that but that was a we didn't even know people did that before simon guessed it yeah i've never heard of that god that was that was that was bonkers i don't know how you did that, Simon. That was creepy. That was like, you know, raiding his bins creepy. A little stalking going on. So how many points was that for getting that right? That's huge.
Starting point is 00:45:56 I think you doubled up, didn't you? Double. I doubled my points. You doubled up and you doubled down. 3,000. Holy crap, Simon. This is it. You've won the big time. You should cash out. Take those points. I'm going to take the 3,000. Holy crap, Simon. This is it. You've won the big time.
Starting point is 00:46:05 You should cash out. Take those points. I'm going to take the 3,000 pounds, Lewis. Okay. Give me the 3,000 pounds. Okay. Deal or no deal. It's going to be a deal, is it?
Starting point is 00:46:18 It's a deal. You're going to stick. I'm going to stick. On 3,000. You're going to take the money and run. Well, look. Yes. Brent and Eric, thank you so much
Starting point is 00:46:26 for being on Simple Simon it's been an absolute pleasure to have you guys on thank you so much this has been a lot of fun it's been an honour sirs you are the best
Starting point is 00:46:35 you can check their their YouTube channel out Dead Workers Party and thank you for everyone for watching Simple Simon thank you Simon and we'll see you all next time thank you for everyone for watching Simple Simon. Thank you Simon. We'll see you next time. Thank you. Bye! Bye!
Starting point is 00:46:54 Oh my god. Awesome.

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