Triforce! - Simple Simon - Dead Workers Party
Episode Date: April 10, 2014This week we are joined by the magnificent Brent and Eric from the deadworkersparty! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Pickaxe. in Brandon, Manitoba. Here, we take the best from one side of the world and mix it with the other.
And you can shop that whole world right here in our aisles.
Find it all here with more ways to save
at Real Canadian Superstore.
FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio
has your chance at the number one feeling, winning.
Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.
Who wants this last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?
I do.
Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated.
19 plus and physically located in Ontario.
Gambling problem?
Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca.
Please play responsibly.
Hello and welcome to Simple Simon. Today we're joined by Brant and Eric from The Shaft.
How are you guys doing out there in Alabama?
Hello, gentlemen.
Doing good.
It is an honor to be on this here show.
Look at your awesome studio. Those mics look like super awesome guitars or something, don't they?
Yeah.
They've got magical powers.
They do.
They glow.
Yep, yep.
Lewis, why don't we have glowing mics?
Look at the state of your mic, and look at this.
This doesn't glow.
It's great.
This is shit.
I'm not putting up with this.
I'm not doing Simple Simon until I get a glowing mic.
Okay, I'll write it on the list.
Okay.
Glowing mic.
Simon's list of Lady Gaga style...
What's it called?
A rider.
A rider, yes.
You get skittles.
What skittles do you get?
Red skittles?
No, Jaffa cakes.
I want Jaffa cakes, not skittles.
Don't care about skittles.
Skittles.
Well, this is a quiz show for people who don't know
where we ask Simon simple questions about our guests
and hopefully he'll be able to get them right
and they'll award him points.
So, as an example, what would Brent and Eric's rider be
if they were, you know, playing a gig, playing a stadium?
What are their requests, Simon?
I would go for they want lots of fresh fruit, maybe grapefruits,
and probably some delicious meats like sausages.
Okay.
I reckon they love their grapefruits and sausages, Lewis.
I reckon they really do love them,
and that's not based on a previous conversation that we just had
before we started recording the show. at all i i i'm psychic it's just come to me that they love that
they love that stuff um yeah and glowing microphones they love red glowing microphones
and probably uh probably some uh male facial grooming kits they like having beard trimmers
just uh spruce themselves up before they go on air.
What's the answer, guys?
I, yeah.
I about nailed it, really.
I'm more for the meat, though.
You're what?
I'm more for the meat, though.
The meat, yeah.
I think Eric's more of a grapefruit guy.
Fruit.
Yeah, fruit's good, yeah.
Although meat is really good.
If I get to have a swimming pool of spaghetti and just swim in it.
Spaghetti's not a meat, though.
It really isn't.
Well, you put meat in there.
It's got meatballs in there somewhere.
You have to find them.
That's the game.
Yeah, that's right.
You always got to find a place to put the meat.
Like Marco, Bolo.
I imagine it's like bobbing for apples.
You just dive in and you try to come up
with a meatball in your mouth.
Yeah.
I'm not coming over to his pool party.
That's all I'm saying.
So, how many points
can you give Simon for that?
Oh, that's worth at least
three.
I'll add one to it
I'll add one to it
So four total?
Four?
That's generous
Thank you
That's very good of you
Thank you very much
Lewis is writing it down
Yeah, well I've decided that the scoring system
Needs to be revamped
But you guys have been very good
With just sticking to the normal stuff
So, questions
Let's start
Simon, what are Brent and Eric's middle names?
How am I supposed to guess this?
Should I, like, Google their names or something?
Yeah, they're from Alabama.
Don't Google.
No cheats.
Just use your brainium.
Come on.
Okay, so Brent.
Yes, sir.
Brent.
The mad one.
I did call him that
Yes
But that was
No
They're not supposed to know that
That was behind their backs
Lewis
That's not how it works
As in angry
No
The
The
Crazy one
Well
You know
I was trying to think of a nicer word
Than that
The
Oh my god
Brent I reckon You know I don't think he has a middle name word than that. Oh my god.
Brent.
I reckon, you know, I don't think he has a middle name. I don't think he needs one.
I think Brent
is enough. He just needs
just that one name, like Cher.
He is just Brent.
That's it. That's, yes.
Eric?
Eric?
God.
What was his name?
Eric Marco Eric Marco
Malcolm
Yeah sure that sounds like a name
Malcolm
I could read that
Eric Malcolm
Okay
Yes
How close am I guys?
Do they even know each other's middle names?
They must do
They're really close
What's my middle name Eric?
Brent Oh you got it Oh He didn't know it before the show even know each other's middle names. They must do. They're really close. What's my middle name, Eric? Uh,
Brent. Oh, you got it!
He didn't know it before the show. He had to think.
We'll be honest about that. Your middle name is actually Brent. Are you named after
your father? Is your first name your father's name?
My father's stepfather
was named Brent.
But you kind of got it right,
right? That's all I need. I agree with you
there. So I may just drop the actual first name, which no one knows.
Secret.
We'll never know now.
No.
So you are just like Cher.
You are Brent.
Yes.
So I'll give you four points for that one.
What about you, Mr. Fullerton?
So you said Marco?
Or no, Malcolm?
Malcolm.
We went with Malcolm in the end.
That is very close.
You got the M-A correct.
My middle name is Maxwell.
Holy shit, Simon.
That was fairly close, wasn't it?
Oh, my God.
Do you just have to go with your guts or whatever it is, your instinct,
and it will lead you down the right path?
The guts are down here.
The brain's up here. Well, I usually think you think with your instinct, and it will lead you down the right path. The guts are down here. The brain's up here.
I usually think you think with your stomach, though, Simon.
Or my heart, which is like whichever side it is.
It's one of these.
From the inside.
Yeah, I use my insides, and I channel my insides,
and then it comes out of my mouth hole.
That's right.
It's been working out.
And then you also just watch an episode of Malcolm in the Middle.
Yes.
That always helps.
So how many points did you get for that?
Eric?
Okay, let's see.
You get 96 points for that one.
That was very good.
96.
So four plus 96.
I'm not sure about the scoring system.
It's gone wild again.
That's 100 points.
First round, 4 points.
Second round, 100.
104.
That's easy.
I can add that up.
I don't mind.
Okay.
Great.
That was a great round.
Okay.
So, Simon, what famous actors do people always say
Brent and Eric look like?
You always get it, don't you, Simon?
You know, they confuse you in the street
for famous actors like...
Like Thorum Oakenshield.
Or more likely the fat one
that always eats cakes in the morning.
That's the one.
Yeah.
Thanks, my fans, for that.
Always tweeting me messages of that guy. yeah thanks thanks my fans for that always like tweeting
me messages
of that guy
what
what do they look like
I'm
gonna go with
Robert Downey Jr
Brent
no
Eric
Robert Downey Jr
Eric
and
Brent oh god I reckon oh god I'm not sure Robert Downey Jr., Eric, and Brent.
Oh, God.
I reckon...
Oh, God.
I'm not sure who...
It's the hair.
It's got to be someone with that kind of hair, isn't it?
Oh, God.
Who was the guy in Roseanne?
Who was the guy who's in all the Coen Brothers movies?
I can't remember his name.
John Goodman. Oh, John Goodman. John Good. I can't remember his name. John Goodman.
Oh, John Goodman.
John Goodman.
Robert Downey Jr. and John Goodman.
This is what happens, guys, when you get old, you see.
You used to be told when you were young that you looked like people,
and this is going to happen to me and Simon as well,
but when we're in our 30s, like you are,
we're going to run into these problems.
So who were you always told that you looked like?
So first off, you nailed that one.
I've gotten Robert Downey Jr. at various stores and conventions.
Of course, I'm a lot more muscular than the real Robert Downey Jr.
That's right.
And a lot richer.
But in my early days when I was bigger
and I used to wear trench coats
and sometimes I'd put a backwards hat on,
I always got Kevin Smith,
the bigger Kevin Smith,
and I had long hair too.
Which one do you like better being called?
Robert Downey Jr., of course.
Is it because he's fat?
Do you have a problem with fat people?
Yes.
No.
Yes. Oh. Yes.
Oh.
Oh.
And you're absolutely wrong on mine.
I get over and over again Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Oh, God, yes.
And yesterday I went to the gas station, and the guy goes, well, I guess we know it's not you.
Wow.
I was like, yeah, but my wife needs me to quit doing heroin. I was like, is that
too soon?
Oh, God!
Oh, dear!
I think he'd appreciate it.
Philip Seymour, I can see it. I can totally
see it. Wow. I think in Twister
days, maybe.
They're good answers. Oh, that was good.
So, Quacky, that's a pretty good scoring, actually,
Simon. You got one of them.
Bang on.
So how many points are you going to get for that?
I'm giving him 100 for mine.
100?
That was great.
I'm going to have to go with negative four.
Negative four?
Minus four.
Negative four.
I don't know why I'm writing this down.
It's easy.
200.
We're at 200.
200 points.
If you can make the scoring easy for me, I'm going to give you nice questions.
So, Brent and Eric are really, really close friends.
They've always been close friends, much like me and you, Simon.
Like me and you, what's one of the strangest things
that they've ever done as close friends?
How personal is this going to get?
I'm a bit worried.
I don't... I'm a bit worried.
I'm talking weird things. Maybe they got drunk together, they went fishing.
Or weirdest thing they've ever bought.
When you're close friends with someone,
you tend to do really good things to them,
emotional things for them and things like this.
Do we?
Yeah, I buy you lovely things.
It's very one-sided.
I brought you a cup of tea in today.
I guess that counts, but that's not very exciting.
It's the most generous thing I've seen from you for a long time.
Do you want to show them what I got you for Christmas, actually?
I wonder if you can go and get it.
It might be plugged in.
It's a bit heavy.
I think it's easier to move the webcam, isn't it?
Maybe.
Let's just go on tour.'t know. Can we see it?
Let's go on tour.
Over here.
Can we see there in the middle?
Yeah.
That's Dovahkiin statue there that Lewis got me.
Isn't that lovely?
It's enormous.
It's a bit, yeah.
You had to build shelves for it.
I did.
I did have to build.
Hello.
Hello. Hello.
How are you doing, everyone?
We're good.
That is wonderful.
That's a wonderful view.
Thank you, Simon.
So, yes, what do you think?
It's not...
I know what the answer is.
I reckon they got drunk
and they swapped clothes.
Am I close?
Was drink involved?
Swapping clothes involved?
Not saying that maybe that hasn't happened,
but really I think I've been trying to set up Eric with my sister-in-law
so we would actually be, if they got married, legally blooded.
Yeah, we'd be brothers, kind of.
Oh my god.
That's a very Alabama
thing to do.
Just want to keep it in the family.
Oh my god.
Wow, what an answer that is.
Good god.
So you were kind of close.
No, not at all
unfortunately me and Simon
don't have sisters
but I think we would have
we would have gone down
the same path honestly
I could see that happening
Simon
I could marry your brother
maybe
would that work
he's already married
oh damn
to a nice lady
then you could bring him to
happily
happily married
my goodness
well that was a great answer
how close was he
how many points
is he going to get for that?
Negative 50.
Oh!
Negative 50.
You never swap clothes.
Oh, we've done that
a few times, Simon.
I don't think we actually
swap clothes.
No?
No.
No.
You ever tried to dress up
as the other one?
Maybe, you know,
that's an idea
for later tonight.
Negative 25.
Yeah, I think we have done that.
We'll cut that deficit in half.
Well, 7-5.
I'm trying to save you some points here, Simon.
That was good.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Simon, what's the worst thing Brent and Eric have ever eaten?
Oh, God.
I reckon they probably... They probably have had a barbecue
and the food wasn't cooked properly.
I'm guessing that's a very American-y,
sort of family thing to do.
You have a barbecue, there's a bunch of meat
that someone might have gotten on the cheap.
Maybe the meat was a bit off
and everyone got sick at the barbecue.
Everyone turns up with
They bring meat
That's the whole thing
If you go to a barbecue
You bring meat
There's always too much
And there's some poor guy there
This is a cow
I got it from my ranch
I killed it this morning
And they didn't
They killed it like three months ago
And you had like the steaks off of it
And everyone got ill
Is that how I'm guessing?
Did you burn to Alabama?
That's exactly what he says, is it?
Almost nailed it, huh?
So mine is battery acid.
I'm sorry?
Battery acid.
It was probably the spiciest thing I've ever eaten.
Is it literally battery acid?
Yeah.
Actual, real battery acid?
Yeah.
I mean, it was a little dry.
It was dried up.
Okay, so the story is I was getting ready to go grocery shopping one day,
and my car wouldn't start.
So I took my key out, and I'm scraping at the battery connectors, you know,
to get all the battery acid gunk out of it, you know.
And then it started up, and then I got home, and I got all these bags and stuff, and I
got my keys.
I'm trying to grab everything, and sometimes I have a habit of just putting stuff in my
mouth to hold it as an extra hand.
So I put my keys in my mouth as I grab all this stuff, and I go up to the door, and my
mouth is burning, and I'm wondering what's going on.
I think i'm having
like a stroke or something and it was just like so i burned all day all night worst thing i ever
ate oh my god i can't believe i mean you've still got your mouth it hasn't melted away or anything
yeah yeah you still got your tongue wow and we're learning things. I'm glad to know that you like to put things in your mouth.
That's pretty dangerous stuff.
I mean, I think it depends what kind of battery it is,
but it's usually like some sulfuric acid with lead or something like that in it.
So, yeah, it's not nice.
And I think it's sort of one of these cumulative things
where it builds up in your body over time.
But I suppose as long as you're not licking batteries regularly,
you'll probably be all right.
Yeah.
I mean it would serve me well to do that
so I could build up a tolerance.
Yeah in case anyone tried to poison you with batteries.
I don't think it works
to build up a tolerance. I think it would just kill you
over time. That's the problem.
Yeah I think that's a big misconception isn't it?
Don't do that. If you're watching this
do not try and eat batteries to build up a tolerance
to batteries. Don't do that to build up a tolerance to batteries.
Don't do that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Safety first.
Don't eat batteries.
God, that's a bad one.
What's Brent's?
I can't think of anything worse.
Fuck me.
Neither can I.
No, maybe I shouldn't answer.
But I used to eat on the cheap.
Cyanide.
Yes.
You can't eat.
No. I used to eat on the cheap and I'd go to Walmart, like the cheap store, and get their chicken
that was on sale because it was super late.
And man, I got a batch of that that just I puked all night long into the next day.
And now I can't eat like that fried chicken anymore.
Oh, what?
Oh, my God.
That's terrible.
What a terrible story.
You can't eat fried chicken anymore
well just from walmart just from walmart worse than the battery
eric's never gonna touch another battery he's never gonna eat another battery now
he's done but fried chicken oh my god it's a disaster
so i don't think i wasn't too close with that one, was I, Lewis?
No, you were pretty far away, actually, on that.
But there was bad meat involved in my guess.
There was.
So that's fairly close.
Yeah.
Maybe just a nil.
Yeah, how about a zero?
What do you mean a nil?
Under?
You're not under?
Come on, I was close.
You can't give me no points for being close.
Come on.
We're going to give you a negative pointage.
That's right.
Yeah.
We gave you a discount.
Zero.
I don't know why I'm writing that down.
Thanks, guys.
Still at 175.
Simon, as you well know, Eric and Brent run The Shaft.
A couple of questions.
When were we a guest on The Shaft?
Do you remember which episode number and when it was
oh my god
and also
how many episodes
have there been
oh god
why would you do this
this is just going to
embarrass me
I'm not allowed
to google am I
no you're not
no
we were on episode
79
okay and so far there have been they're up to like episode fucking Well, we were on episode 79.
Okay.
And so far, they're up to episode fucking 300 or something now.
God knows, they've been doing it for so long.
Yeah, that's my answer.
We were on episode 79, and they're currently on episode 341.
What was the date that we did it?
It was April 2011.
Okay.
I'm making it up.
I can't remember.
How close are they to the actual answer, guys?
Do you have the evidence there?
It was episode 23 that y'all appeared.
So not 79.
Not 79.
Only like 50-something off.
And I think we're up to 168.
Yep.
Yep.
So pretty accurate. What date was it that we were on, though?
2011.
It was 2011?
Yep.
What month?
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Uh, uh, uh.
Points for stumping us. So how many points? Yep. What month? Uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh.
Points for stumping us.
So how many points?
Let's see.
Well, he did get a double digit, so he got... Maybe 23 points?
Yeah, there you go.
23.
That's a good one, yeah.
All things considered, I think that's quite generous.
23.
198.
Good answer.
That was good. That was a good question.
Simon, if there were action
figures made of
Brent and Eric,
what accessories
would they come with in the blister pack?
So you get the Brent doll
with the crazy hair and beard
and then you get an accessory.
What is it? What comes with them?
It wouldn't be fried chicken.
I know that now.
No.
God, I...
I'm thinking something...
Are you trying to give me a clue
by, like, looking...
A microphone, maybe?
I'm thinking a microphone he would have.
Just off the top of my head.
Maybe he would have a microphone.
And Eric, I think a guitar, maybe.
It'd be like they're almost like a band, you know?
You're spotting the two guitars behind them there.
What do you mean?
I'm a bit sort of interested.
Well, I've got to go on something, Lewis.
You know, it's almost like this clue.
Yeah, yeah.
That was good.
It was like, yeah,
you were really definitely into that.
What's the answer, you guys?
What would you get with the models?
Let's see.
I would love,
this is my favorite thing
is to have like maybe a removable fist.
So you could put like a chainsaw on it.
You could put like a mechanical metal fist, like hand, maybe a hook,
like a whole variety of accessories for my left hand.
This is, that's terrifying.
Oh my God.
And you can put like a guitar in my arm, you know,
and like have other people, like I could play it.
I could play my own hand.
Oh my God.
It's possible.
Okay, sure.
I couldn't have guessed that.
Oh my God.
That was out there.
I like your thinking though.
That was good. Oh my God. That was out there. I like your thinking though. That was good.
Oh my god. What about Brent
though? I think you got
close. I would go with the hoodie.
Oh, that's what you were pointing at.
Your hoodie. I tried, but a microphone
and guitar.
He'd come with like a
whole range of clothes that he could change into
like a fashion doll. Like a
Barbie. But I'd love the microphone
and guitar in there too.
That's a good one. That's pretty close.
We'll give him like 50 points for that.
Okay. Sounds good.
Blimey. Thank you very much.
That's very good of you. Thanks.
I love how we swap from individual points to like a group.
Yeah, right.
Works. Well, I gave him 25
and you gave him 25 works
I like that
right
next question
what
cocktails
do
Eric and Brent
order
at a bar
where they can't see the restaurant
so there's
a restaurant
where they can't see the menu
so they go up to the bar
in this swanky
bar
it's really
really
black marble bar there's really really like black marble bar
there's a really like waiter with a bow tie behind he's like hello sir yeah they are they're super
classy what do they order uh are there any cocktails with mountain dew in i'm not sure
um jack daniels and mountain. Is there a name for that?
Oh, my God.
What would that be called?
Probably the bomb.
It would be called the battery acid.
That's what it would be called.
Oh, my God.
God, I don't know.
Probably whiskey or, you know, bourbon-based cocktails, I'm thinking.
Oh, God, I don't know.
I don't know many cocktails.
They're from the deep south.
They'd order it in a jam jar. In a jam jar.
Yeah.
Yeah, a jam jar with Jack Daniels in or Southern Comfort
with maybe like just a tiny, tiny drop of Coke or lemonade,
and the rest would just be whiskey.
I reckon that's the kind of thing they would go for.
Okay, what is it, guys? What is it?
So I'm not much of a whiskey fan, but I love rum.
So I usually go with rum and soda.
But really my favorite thing to get at a bar is a
shot of Jägermeister.
Keep it simple.
Oh God. You're in a classy
cocktail bar. You're wearing
a tux and you're asking for a
shot of Jäger. A Jäger bomb.
It gets worse. It gets worse because
I would probably just get a Bud Light bottle without
the glass.
Oh my God. Or a margarita. You'd be without the glass. Oh, my God.
Or a margarita.
You'd be thrown out. Get out of my establishment.
Get out of my ass!
But I tip well.
I tip well, though.
So that makes up for it.
Sure.
That's good.
And then you get the guitars out, and it's like a kind of RPG fantasy setting.
You just start earning your keep by playing the lute.
Exactly.
You would definitely be thrown out.
You're going in there with musical instruments,
you're ordering a bottle of beer and a shot of Jager
in this fancy cocktail bar.
You could have had a martini.
You could have been all fancy.
You could have had an olive in it.
It would have been like, oh.
You wouldn't been picking up ladies
Bud Light is very fancy down here in the south
oh my god
it's true
it's the good stuff
I mean they even take off the top
that's right
it screws right off
yeah
screw off the lid
do they put like a little bit of lime in the top or anything
only if they want to get shot
yeah
that's right
we have guns down here.
Oh my god.
Is it just out of shot?
Just out of shot on the left-hand side
there's a big gun rack.
Yeah, we keep our pistols in our boots.
Oh my god.
So it's the rack of guitars
and next to it out of shot
is all the guns, shotguns.
Yep.
Oh my god.
And chainsaws.
And spaghetti.
Yeah, spaghetti and meatballs.
I don't think I was
close with that one, was I?
I think maybe we should get minus
points for that one.
Yeah, I think you should too.
So, what do you say?
10 apiece? There you go.
20.
There you go. 26. 20. 20 total.
There you go.
2-6-8.
You're doing good.
2-6-8.
This is a nice score.
Okay, next question.
What are Brent and Eric's favourite Olympic sports to watch or take part in?
So if they were forced into the Olympics, what would they end up... What events would they be doing?
So they're representing America in the Olympic Games.
That's right.
There's been a terrible administrative error.
Oh, my God.
There's got to be something involving shooting.
So I don't know know is clay pigeon shooting?
is that an Olympic sport?
I know that there's the biathlon
in the Winter Olympic Games
so that's like skiing and shooting
so maybe that
but they probably would miss all the targets
and just like shoot deer
or something that had wandered on
to the course
and bring it around to next door's barbecue.
They're skiing off
with a deer on their back.
Off they go.
With a shot of Jäger in their hand.
Yeah, I'm thinking clay pigeon
shooting or the biathlon skiing and
shooting. It's got to be that
surely. What have you got guys? I would definitely go with the biathlon. and shooting it's got to be it's got to be that surely what have you got guys i would definitely go with the biathlon i think you're you're dead
on there a little shooting a little exercise skiing as well love skiing yeah yeah anything
that involves shooting i think is is pretty awesome to watch uh i really like uh what what
is the uh in the winter games is it a lugeuge? A luge? They get really close.
It's like a bullet coming down a slide.
A guy died doing that.
You know what I'm talking about?
Is it the sled one or the toboggan?
It looks like a bullet.
There's like four dudes in it.
Oh, yeah.
Bob sled.
Oh, the bob sled.
That's it, yeah.
Cool Rollings.
I love that.
Yeah, I think they're going to the Winter Olympics this year, aren't they?
Or something.
The Jamaican bobsled team or something like that.
I heard that.
Yeah, they're like sponsored by the doji.
Doke.
Doke coin.
By Bitcoin.
Oh, Jesus.
Doke.
Oh, my God.
How awful.
That's if the fucking thing goes, because like half of the stuff isn't built yet in the Winter Olympics, is it, in Russia?
It's all disaster, apparently.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah and they're like
toilets they don't want you to use toilet paper
or something
put the paper in a bin provided
but if a toilet paper
can't flush paper
how is it going to cope with
solid material
especially if bread should be in chicken
and they didn't show the other bucket like I don't think anything's supposed to go in the actual solid material in there. Especially if bread's been in chicken.
Oh, God.
And they didn't show the other bucket.
Like, I don't think anything's supposed to go in the actual toilet.
What's the point of it, then?
Would you wash your hands in it?
I don't know what they do in Russia.
Who knows?
They probably don't wash their hands in the toilet, Lewis.
Just guessing.
I don't know much about Russian culture.
Wow, that was an amazing answer.
What sports would you actually end up playing? Oh yeah, you said. What was the score then?
That was pretty good though.
I feel like that was pretty...
I don't know. How high can you go
without like... It's pretty good.
He didn't do track and field. He didn't do
lobbing a javelin or
anything like that.
I don't think it was worth a thousand.
Maybe a hundred. How about another hundred?
Okay, a hundred.
Another hundred.
A hundred points.
They were debating giving you a thousand points there.
That would have been a bit...
Very close.
Just keep in mind, Eric's the one who talked us out of a thousand points.
I'm going to remember that.
That's Maxwell to you.
Oh my God.
What was the last board game Brent and Eric played together and who won?
Oh, God.
Board games.
I don't know if they play much board games.
I can't picture them sitting down playing chess together
unless it's shots of the pieces.
Wow.
So, you know, they're just drinking chess they're playing.
God, Monopoly or Risk, maybe something traditional.
Maybe it would have been Settlers of Catan.
Maybe.
Maybe.
How many years ago was this?
Go on, you guys. Okay, so what was it would it be grand prix
oh yeah probably grand prix yeah uh at uh whatever last convention we went to yeah the dead workers
party party yeah our convention is uh it's a car racing board game go figure it's like we've got
car for the board games you You have that? Grand Prix?
Yeah, it's good. You get a little gear stick, don't you?
Or something. Yeah, and you move
your little car and you can trap
people in the lanes and stuff.
I've never heard of this.
Oh, man. It's pretty cool.
And who did you say won? Who did you think won?
I didn't
say who I thought won.
Was that even the question?
Yeah it was
Was it?
I reckon
It's 50-50
I reckon Brent won
Brent totally kicked Eric's ass at it
Yeah Eric won
No!
Oh god I couldn't be more wrong if I tried
Yeah
I had to admit that.
Oh, thanks, Obama.
He's a Grand Prix master.
Like, every time we pull out the board games, it's like, we need to play Grand Prix.
It's just I have to make sure the battery is working before I get in the car.
And he just has the dead eyes.
I mean, he gets serious, and it's auto-racing.
Yeah, I start foaming at the mouth.
Holy crap.
Well, that is fantastic. That was not a good round for me. Yeah, I start foaming at the mouth. Holy crap.
Well, that is fantastic.
That was not a good round for me.
No, that was not a good round.
What's the score?
We're done a little bit.
Well, he did mention a game.
Yeah, I know.
There was a game being mentioned.
A board game.
I got that right.
That was the question.
Ten points?
There you go. I'll give him five. You give him five. That was the question. So 10 points. There you go.
I'll give him five.
You give him five.
Okay.
So 10 total.
Or I give him eight and you give him two.
Okay.
That works too.
Or what if I give him four and you give him six?
That'll work too. Okay.
Okay.
Thank you.
378.
Doing good, Simon.
Well done.
Well, these questions are going great.
I've got a few sort of short ones to end on.
So, Simon, do they prefer...
I guess this sort of shows their age, really,
but what do they prefer out of the following?
Dragon Force, Dragonborn, or Dragon Ball Z?
Oh, my God.
Oh, God. They like their music. They like their guitars. Oh my god Oh god
They like their music
They like their guitars
I'm gonna go with Dragonforce
What is Dragonforce?
No!
Oh damn it
I feel like we should know that
I feel like we're really showing our age now
Dungeons and Dragons?
Is it an RPG?
Dragon Force is like a band.
They're a rock band.
They've got a long hair, death metal singer.
They're amazing.
They're British, I think.
They play the guitar really, really quickly.
Like, crazy fast.
It's like that.
I've seen a lot of rock bands.
Through the Fire and Flames.
Yeah.
Is that one of those epic choirs singing in the background
and symphony and metal guitars going?
Probably.
That's probably it.
We saw them live in Bristol.
Me and Duncan did.
Yeah, they're good.
That should be my answer.
It sounds like something we'd like.
Yeah.
You'd like them.
You should check them out.
They're awesome.
So it wasn't that. It was probably Dragonborn, I guess, because you wouldn't like Dragonborn Z like. You'd like them. You should check them out. They're awesome. So it wasn't that.
It was probably Dragonborn, I guess, because you
wouldn't like Dragonborn Z, I guess, you guys.
That can't be right, can it?
So what's Dragonborn?
Grief. We're digging a hole here.
Dragonborn is from Skyrim.
The Dragonborn.
Oh, yeah, that thing.
I'll be honest, I've never played Skyrim.
I played it, but I didn't play a whole lot of it.
And I'm not really a big Dragon Ball Z fan,
but I would say Dragon Force
because even though I didn't know about it,
it sounds awesome.
Can we have a power metal riff on your guitars?
Can we have a bit of guitar?
I want to hear a bit of the pro guitar.
Is that possible?
Oh, my God.
A little bit of that.
Is that the... Oh my god A little bit of Is that Is that the
Oh god
Wow
There you go
That was amazing
Was that like Dragon Force?
Yeah
Did we hit it?
Pretty close Pretty close.
Pretty close.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I'll have to go with Dragon Force, too.
Yeah, it's awesome.
So spot on.
Spot on.
That was amazing.
Miraculously.
That was a great question, because we learned something from that question as well.
A lot.
What are you thinking?
The big one?
I think the big one.
1,000 points.
1,000 points.
1,000 points.
Holy crap. Good grief. Excellent big one. 1,000 points. 1,000 points. 1,000 points. Holy crap.
Good grief.
Excellent.
Yeah?
Excellent.
1,378.
Next question.
Brent and Eric have just been hired to a promotional position.
There must be a terrible administrative error at Kellogg's.
If cereal making and other cereal making companies are available.
But you're working for a breakfast cereal company.
What are you going to put in your new breakfast cereal as a gimmick
and what are you going to call it?
Guns.
They're going to put guns in a breakfast cereal.
What, little chewy marshmallow ones?
And it's going to be Jager flavoured.
Wow.
Jager flavoured breakfast cereal with a free gun.
An actual gun in every box.
Is it like a Glock?
Like just a small pistol?
Or is it going to be one of those...
It's not going to be a rifle.
How is that going to fit in a cereal packet?
Unless there's a small part of a rifle
in each packet
and you have to collect them all
in order to make the rifle.
That's a brilliant idea, Lewis.
That is a brilliant idea you've had there.
What's it called?
The breakfast cereal.
Oh, God.
Dead breakfast
party.
That's a great idea. What's the answer, guys?
So close. I was thinking it would be
guns with a Z, and you'd
have little marshmallow gun pieces, like guns with a Z, and you'd have, like, little marshmallow, like, gun pieces,
like scopes and things,
and then the rifles would be, like, the little crunchy bits.
Yeah.
So.
Okay.
And I didn't just think of that right there.
I mean, I've been planning that for a long time.
So it's sort of like Alphabetti spaghetti,
but it's guns and marshmallows.
Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't taste of like alfabetty spaghetti, but it's guns and marshmallows. Yes. Yeah.
It doesn't taste of Jager, though.
Well, maybe that would be the prize
in it. Just a shot of Jager.
For all the kids.
It comes in a little sachet, like a sealed
little sachet.
It'd be just like hunting in Alabama.
Have your gun, cereal for breakfast,
take your Jager and your gun and then go shoot
some deer. Sets you up for the day,
doesn't it? Breakfast of champions.
Might take a couple boxes with you.
I'm thinking my cereal
would be a
cinnamon ball crunch. It would be
cinnamon meatballs
but there would be a crunch to it.
But that would be the mystery
that's the secret sauce that I don't want to mention
so deep in the
center of these meatballs is a crunchy
center
that is the last thing you want in spaghetti isn't it
a crunchy thing in there
and the prize that comes with it is like an attachment
for your fist
it's a spoon
it's like a chainsaw or a guitar or something that just fits onto your fist. That's right. It's a spoon. It's like a chainsaw or a guitar
or something
that just
fits onto your fist.
A big spoon.
That's great.
Collect them all.
God, that would be
a really shit superhero power
wouldn't it
if your hand
just turned into a big spoon.
Help me spoon hand.
Spoon hand.
I am stuck in this quicksand.
Oh, I could dig you out with this spoon.
Oh, my God.
That's a brilliant superhero.
Can we copyright it?
Sure.
Spoon man.
Sure.
I'll file the trademark thing this afternoon.
Yeah, sure.
Let's do it.
How many points was that?
That's got to be a lot of points there.
So you got the gun part pretty good.
Yeah, I'll give 40
for my half.
40?
I'll throw them
20.
Okay.
60.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for that.
You're very welcome.
1,438
we're up to.
I'm glad I'm keeping
notes actually.
This is fantastic.
Okay, last question.
Simon.
What are Brent and Eric's best scars or tattoos?
That's not the last question, Lewis.
We know what the last question is, and that isn't it.
Penultimate question.
And the story of how they ended up with those scars or tattoos.
What do you think?
Okay, what is their favourite scars,
and where did they get them from? Or tattoos, yeah do you reckon i've got tattoos i know brent's got a big scar down his throat i'm sorry eric's got
a big scar down his throat from that battery acid yeah yeah do emotional scars count oh god
probably shouldn't if we're in alabama we we got a lot of those. Oh, my God, yeah.
I reckon Brent's got tattoos.
He's probably got a tattoo of a rose with, like, his mum's name on it or something.
Eric, I reckon Eric's got a really, he's got a big appendix scar from when he had his appendix out.
And he likes to tell girls that he got it like in a knife fight or something
yeah
yeah that was a
big man
he was six foot six
he had this massive knife
and he went for me
and then he shows off
the scar
and this is what he did
he had a chainsaw hand
and he just
cut me
so yeah that's
that's my
my guess.
Go then.
So you make us sound like real badasses,
and my answer is really far from that.
So I don't have any tattoos.
No tattoos.
I want tattoos.
I just don't have any tattoos.
I don't really have any scars,
but I have one scar,
and it's on my face,
and it's very tiny.
It is from scratching chicken pox
when I was seven years old.
Your mother always
tells you, you know, they always say, don't scratch
them. It'll leave a scar for the rest
of your life. Yeah, whatever. Scratch, scratch, scratch,
scratch. So I have this tiny little
hole. You're like a walking
PSA for chicken pox scratching.
So that's my battle scar from my childhood.
I think I've got a few of them on my face, actually.
Like, up here.
You see one there?
It's a chicken pox scar.
Oh, my God.
Oh, goodness.
It's pretty clear, pretty white.
Now, my story is pretty badass.
Oh, okay.
So I was, like, in, I think, first grade, and we were having a treehouse war, you know, like the other group down the street, and you were fighting for no reason besides your kids, and you do that.
And someone threw this board like a Frisbee, and it was all shredded on the edge, and it hit me in the chin, just went poof.
And my chin was all bleeding, and I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to get stitches and stuff.
And my chin was all bleeding.
And I didn't want to go home because I didn't want to get stitches and stuff.
So now I have this scar across my chin.
And that's pretty much why I've grown the facial hair out to cover that ugly thing out.
So yeah, it's pretty badass.
But you don't have tattoos?
I don't have tattoos. And it's probably because of the south thing.
My mom would always say, if you ever get a tattoo, it's just going to make me cry.
And it was just kind of like this.
would always say, if you ever get a tattoo,
it's just going to make me cry.
It was just kind of like this. My brother ended up getting a tattoo,
and he covers it up whenever he goes to
my parents' pool so they can't
see it with a band-aid.
They don't watch this, do they?
No, no. They have no clue
what's going on. And the funny thing is
it's a tattoo of a
four-leaf clover. I'm like, are you hiding it
because you don't want them to see it
or because you're embarrassed of it?
He should get a lovely butterfly on his ankle or something.
Yeah.
Oh, my God, yeah.
Yeah, a little tramp stamp.
Hey, Hunter, look at my tattoo.
Isn't that funny?
His name's Hunter.
It goes down here in the south.
I'm surprised you haven't had some sort of Minecraft tattoo done,
you know, like a creeper or, I don't know, like a gaming one, like a Triforce or something.
They're quite common, aren't they?
That stuff is permanent.
Yes.
I think that's the point, isn't it?
That's a good response, isn't it?
I'm a pretty big guy.
Any tattoo I get, I've got to look at if I gain more weight or lose it,
it's not going to look the same.
Yeah, it's going to change shapes.
It'll be like the Creepers exploding.
Oh my God!
And spaghetti came out of them, apparently.
It's weird.
I don't think I did too good there.
That wasn't my strongest round
when you called that we were bad asses
I think you nailed that
and we've shown that
I think you could have just run with that guys
you could have just gone yeah
I got shot here
I lost one of my toes
when I was in the
Vietnam
it could have totally gone wild with it.
But no, you were like, no, we've never done anything dangerous.
It was a treehouse war.
I scratched my chicken pox.
You got hit by a two by four by one of your friends on your chin,
and that caused some injury.
What's the score at now?
Not that we're basing points off that. Not at all.
It's on 1,438.
So 62?
Okay.
62.
Round it up.
62 big ones.
62 points.
62 of the biggest ones.
Okay. Now comes the final round where you get to bet it all on whether Simon can guess using his senses, his powerful pie senses,
what kind of pie you like.
So simple Simon, of course, enjoyed pies.
He knew that a good pie was coming down the road to him
and he bought it from the pie man.
Simon, what are Brent and Eric's pies of choice?
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I mean, right, they're from the south, they're American,
they're in the south. It's got to be something really traditional. It's got to be apple pie.
I reckon they both love apple pie with cream. Apple pie with cream. Whipped cream. Apple pie, warm apple pie.
Lovely warm apple pie and whipped cream.
Oh, my God, there's some nodding going on.
What's the answer, guys?
Apple pie.
Oh, yeah!
Nice!
Success.
Oh, Simon, you went traditional, but you played it safe.
You got it right.
Just thank God you didn't say with
cheese on top because i hear people do that and that creeps me out or me nine does it's what day
nine does we couldn't believe it could we when we when when you even guessed that but that was a
we didn't even know people did that before simon guessed it yeah i've never heard of that god that
was that was that was bonkers i don't know how you did that, Simon.
That was creepy.
That was like, you know, raiding his bins creepy.
A little stalking going on.
So how many points was that for getting that right?
That's huge.
I think you doubled up, didn't you?
Double.
I doubled my points.
You doubled up and you doubled down.
3,000.
Holy crap, Simon.
This is it.
You've won the big time. You should cash out. Take those points. I'm going to take the 3,000. Holy crap, Simon. This is it. You've won the big time.
You should cash out.
Take those points.
I'm going to take the 3,000 pounds, Lewis.
Okay.
Give me the 3,000 pounds.
Okay.
Deal or no deal.
It's going to be a deal, is it?
It's a deal.
You're going to stick.
I'm going to stick.
On 3,000.
You're going to take the money and run.
Well, look.
Yes.
Brent and Eric, thank you so much
for being on Simple Simon
it's been an absolute pleasure
to have you guys on
thank you so much
this has been a lot of fun
it's been an honour
sirs
you are the best
you can check their
their YouTube channel out
Dead Workers Party
and thank you for everyone
for watching Simple Simon
thank you Simon
and we'll see you all next time thank you for everyone for watching Simple Simon. Thank you Simon. We'll see you next time. Thank you. Bye!
Bye!
Oh my god. Awesome.