Triforce! - The Positivity Challenge | Triforce #318

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Triforce! Episode 318! We've all been a bit negative recently. It's time to talk about things we love! Like headphones, and plastic and house repairs! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pickaxe Do you have nerves of steel and a knack for keeping deities pleased? Well in that case, you should check out the New York's class game, Kaya's Prophecy. It is a card-based village builder. Imagine building a village where one wrong move can trigger a divine outburst from the gods. Wouldn't want that. You have to open booster packs and use combat to gather resources and then come up with the perfect strategy to keep your greedy deity fed and your village thriving. You can unlock technologies, battle wild threats and try not to get struck by lightning.

If you like this kind of thing as I do, you can check out Kaya's Prophecy, available now on Steam with a 20% launch discount and for a limited time you can get an extra 10% off if you pick it up in a bundle with Dungeons and Degenerates Gamblers, our other amazing Yorxcast game. You can even head on over to our friends at Fanatical to grab your copy today for even cheaper. www.fanatical.com slash pickaxe. Kyre's Prophecy is awesome, it's out now, I love it and you should check it out. Do you like cards? Do you like battling? Do you like games on Steam made by Yoxtacast friendly people? You should check out Kaya's Prophecy. It's available now.

www.fanatical.com slash pickaxe. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the trifles podcast. That's right. We're back. I thought this week, Sips, period. Since we've been such like negative Nancy's, someone said to me, they were like, well, I feel like we have negative Nancy's. Yeah, we're grumpy old man. We complain about everything we shout. We do like negative shout outs.

Why did we do that? Positive. We supposed to shout out. We do do. Why do we do that? It's in the tea. I just think we should try, try to be positive. This episode.

Okay. Yeah, that's fair. Give it a try. Let's see how it feels. Okay. Fine. Try it off the sides. Maybe you'll like it.

All right. No, that that's good off for size. Maybe you'll like it. Alright, no, that's good. I like that. Things we like. Like this Yorkshire tea, biscuit brew, that I couldn't do without. Hashtag ad. Oh, sorry. Well, no.

Unhashtag ad. It feels... Sometimes as a content creator, I don't know whether you get this, it feels like if you like something, you're kind of hoping secretly that they'll promote you at some point. Right. Why do you think I drink Thatcher's on the street? It's cause I'm praying for a sponsorship. Well, they did take us to other Thatcher's factory though, gave you a special tour. So that works out.

Do you know what I mean? Like sometimes this does work out if you, if you shout about, so I, not that I want free stuff, but my Bose headphones are getting a bit old and I've enjoyed them. I've used them a lot. They've stood the test of time. So we're transitioning from negativity to just shilling is what you want us to beg for freebies now. I was thinking about this yesterday because I usually go for lunch either in the St. Nick's Market and get something or bring something in sometimes from home or sometimes

I go to Sainsbury's and just get something, right? And yesterday I went and got like a plastic tub of soup, right? And I had some tomato soup for lunch and it just felt like, part of me was like, oh no, I've used this like single use plastic, right? I think over time and the other day I ordered from a nice takeaway place. Sorry, hold on a sec. Am I going mad here? Or has this conversation veered wildly between like five different topics? I don't even know what your point is in any of this.

You're talking about lunch, you're talking about single use plastics, you're talking about products, you like the headphones, what's happening? I'm just, I'm just, I'm just- This is dabbling in classes. I've just woken up. I'm just saying. I've just woken up. I can't follow this.

I ordered a takeaway the other day and it was, and it was just so, there was so much plastic in it and it wasn't really even like reusable plastic. Right. I was just like, I don't want to do this. So what did you do about it? So instead we went to the restaurant the next time instead. Right. We just actually was like, that's just not order from this place. Let's just go there. And then at least we're not wasting plastic, which feels like a weird decision, but it was the same thing with this soup. I felt bad wasting this plastic, right?

Because I guess my normal lunch is not that. And that's the world we live in, right? But also, everything is so disposable, okay? Like I sometimes feel like, like those water bottles, you see people have those water bottles that are supposed to be used a thousand times in order to save the planet. Is that a Stanley? I think they're called Stanleys, aren't they? Whatever they are. They're like trendy. Everyone's come. And sometimes, sometimes I'll buy a thing and thinking I'll use it a lot and I use it once and I feel terrible. Right. Or it sits in the

cupboard or it's like, and I can't throw it away because I'm like, oh man, this is a thing that I've only used once and I, ugh. And so I'm doing is, what this leads back to is, things that you've used for many years that you've got good value out of, that are not like crap. Not like single use shit. Because you know what it's like, people, like the world, the way... You're gone. I'm on a rant. Gone.

Stop. Jump in. This is five minutes to get to one question. And I instantly forgot what the question was. Can you, what was it? I want you to shout out some stuff that you have that you own that has been good. Okay. Good product. Any of the listens that are still with us. Let's, let's do that. It's let's say, uh, my LaCruz so kettle and my LaCruz so pan like a cook a big cruiser. Yeah. LaCruz so you know them. The cruise, the cruise say, I don't think it's LaCruz say, I'm sure it's like inspector

clue. So it's inspector crew. So he comes in and has a look at all your pots and pans. Yeah. those last forever But they're not that expensive but to be honest with you if you buy these They will last you the rest of your fucking life. These things are built to last which I love I love shit that you're like, oh man the other day we were using One of those like a thermos thing but it's like for coffee So what you're meant to do is fill it up with coffee and then you can serve multiple people coffee. Mrs. F accidentally put it through the dishwasher without thinking, got a load of water in it, she was like, we're

gonna have to chuck it. We've had this thing, you know, this thing's been in the family since the 80s. And I found out you could just unscrew it, get rid of any water that was sloshing about. Bingo. This thing is like 1982 this thing is from. Wow. And it's still here. Oh, nice. What's the brand? It's I can't remember actually. It's long gone. This is a crusade. You know that coffee pot we've got? What brand is it? Okay. Oh yeah. Thank you. So it's Tupperware. Classic. Classic. Nice. Tupperware. Tupperware that was made in West Germany.

Oh. So it's, it's pre fall of the Berlin wall Tupperware. It's pretty cool. It's just a, it's just a plastic coffee pot. It's extremely good. Okay. They don't make them like that anymore. They don't make them like that anymore.

I talked to the La Crusay. The first thing that comes up is a 400 pound signature cast iron round casserole. Which my partner has, and has had, looks exactly the same as this, and has had it for like 20 years. How many casseroles per minute is that thing? I, it gets used. Do you know what I mean? And also, on the thermos thing, I bought them a Le Creuset thermos for Christmas Christmas and they use that like every day. And it's, it's been great. Like these products last.

Let's put that on the list. I do this. You can put this thing in the oven. You can cook with it on the hob. This, this shit is not made to be one single use. Exactly. It's, it's a lot forever. So what are you using that single use that you're wasting so much of that's making you

feel like this? He's just saying feel like this? He's just saying stuff like takeaway and shit, he's saying. Just mainly just takeaways. I can't imagine that you're chucking out the appliances and... In our culture, it's been the same for hundreds of years, right? The people will pick the cheapest tender, right? We are conditioned to do it.

When everyone goes to the shops, it's like, I want to spend the least I have to spend on this. Even, you know, and in some cases, if it's the same thing, that's fine. You're looking for the cheapest version of that thing. Great. But if the quality drops, then this is why so much, like all of these knockoff shit on Amazon and you know, you buy like a, sometimes stuff I've bought, like even from Ikea has just been absolute shit. And it's lasted no fucking time at all. And I think, like, you must have stuff that you've used for years and years, hanging around. That is like, for example, I've got a Samsonite suitcase that I bought, it was incredibly

fancy, which I bought, must be the first time. It was like one of those plastic shell ones. Yeah, it's the first time I ever went on holiday abroad or whatever. Do you still have the same suitcase? And I still use the same silver shell Samsonite suitcase. It cost me like 250 quid, about 20 years ago. Yeah, they've got like a lifetime guarantee though. I'm not even joking.

And it's, y'know, it's dinted up and it's scratched because it's been thrown around across the fucking whole world, But yeah, like I, I, and I know some other people have gone through tons of them by now. You know, I just want to shout out that. That's a good, it's a thing. A positive thing. Okay. It's hard to reuse them when they've stored dismembered bodies, previous, you know? I see that's... They're kind of locked in at that point. I wouldn't... Well, that's sort of recycling them though, I... They're kind of locked in at that point. I wouldn't... Well, that's sort of recycling them though, I feel. Giving them another use.

That's okay. Yeah, maybe. If you're using it as a coffin, that's fine. Like a little, a little, little coffin pod. Like a little pod. A body pod. And, you know, make coffins out of wood, right? Don't make them out of plastic.

They make them out of wood. Or concrete. Unless there's a reason, unless you died of like radiation poisoning. Jesus. You know who's obsessed with radiation poisoning? Ozzy. Ozzy. Is she? Ozzy. Yeah. She's genuinely...

Wait, the first stream we ever did together, she said so. She loves it. Let's talk about radiation sickness. She's full onto that grim horror. Yeah, she fucking loves it. She loves the idea. I think she's she's she's full onto that grim. She loves it. She loves the idea. I think it's because it's so real, right? It's not like magic or made up or fantasy nonsense.

It's it's a genuine, like sort of Damocles over the heads of us all. Damn. I thought we were being positive this week. Shout out to Damocles. Shout out to Dam- and Samson as well, because he was the guy, the strong guy in the Bible and he makes a good suitcase. I think God was the strong guy in the Bible, dude. Come on.

Well, right. He was the different, he was different, you know, he wasn't like punching people or lifting rocks. Do you know what I mean? Did Samson punch people? Was there a superhero arc in the Bible I missed? Samson and Lila. A 1999, 1949 film. Yeah, he was fighting the Philistines, of course.

Do you remember? That's the other Bible. You know what? This is a genre of film they don't make anymore. Epic romantic biblical dramas. They should bring those back. Yeah! Well, part of the reason is that you're not supposed to be doing that before marriage, right? No romance before marriage. This is Cecil B. DeMille did this.

Sampson and Delilah. Delilah, a 1949 American epic romantic biblical drama. Budget? 2.9 to 3 million. Box office? 25.6. Wow. It just shows there's an appetite for it.

There's a market out there. Yeah, there is. Mel Gibson get on it. There's a market out there for some homegrown. Starring Hedy Lamar. Christian movies. Yeah. Hedy Lamar was born in Vienna. She was 85. She died in the year.

She was born in 1914. She died in 2000. Damn. Hedy Lamar. What a babe. She died in 2000. Oh damn. Henry Lamar. What a babe. What a hottie. What a babe. I finished watching episode, uh, series one of, uh, white lotus and I really enjoyed it. I thought it was real good.

There was some, there was some, uh, there was some real, really great standout moments in, uh, in, in series one. Pooping in the suitcase. Was that one of them? Pooping in the suitcase. Definitely one of them. Eating a dude's ass out was up there as well. I'm not prepared.

Not ready for that. No, it was good. It was really nice. I like how short it is too. I like how the story just wraps up nicely at the end. Yeah, there's no flannel. Yeah. And also there's no hangover of cliffhanger of of like, you know, we're gonna be on this

same holiday for the next four seasons, you know what I mean? It's like, we're done. I don't want to see those people ever again. Yeah, I'm glad that it just wraps up. And you only see one of them in the next series. Did you watch it with your wife? Yes, I did. Yeah, she liked it.

She enjoyed it? She's not mad into sci-fi or anything kind of, you know, like even severance. She's like, she's, she's just lost with it. Now. She's just like, I just don't really feel like watching it sort of thing. Right. But stuff like white lotus where it's like, you know, people with like, with, you know,

like, uh, like nice character arcs and stuff like that. She's, she's like, uh, she, she's in for it. So it's good. It was, yeah, it was nice. Well, we'll start on season two soon. My partner is the same about Severance. Like I'm really, must be a really annoying person to watch it with because we're like halfway through and I've like, you know, we're watching an episode and I like pause it and I'm like, I asked her a question. She's like, I've got no idea what's going on. She's like, yeah.

I think you've got to be, I think you got to be kind of interested in that, in that, in that sort of stuff. And by that stuff, I mean, um, you know, like the, the slightly sort of like out there surreal kind of the mind bending, you got to have a mind, you're willing to have a mind that's bent without any kind of satisfying resolution. You've got to accept the bending of the mind. I am accepting that my mind will be bent without a conclusion that makes me have a good understanding of the world.

I will say that the Seference Season 2 was not my favourite season. I realise there's only been two. But I'm still going to say, if that had been the first season, I don't think I would have been as into the show as I was. Season 1 was so good. Season 2 was out of several points, Mrs F turned to me and said, they better fucking start answering some questions. Because it really did get a bit ridiculous. And I was like, yeah, I know, I'm like, this is getting a bit lost. You know what I mean? All right. No, positive. We're positive. We're enjoying it. It's good. Well, they did go some way in this season to genuinely answering questions that we had,

having some cool moments. And I thought the finale episode kind of made up for a lot of the- I'm glad you're being so careful with spoilers here. I ain't saying shit. Yeah, no, I haven't seen it yet. I'll get around to it. I'm not like- Okay, I'll't seen it yet. I'll get around to it. I'm not like... I'll get, I'll finish it as well. I'm not like hell bent on watching it sort of thing, but I like season one. Season two I'm sure I'll like as well.

So hang on, so what's on my list? So Bose headphones, they've been great. Honestly, still using them after like 12 years. Like basically I got these two things when I went away to like Blizzcon or whatever back in 2011. Right. And that suitcase and those headphones, I still use them like every day. Um, what else do I love? I love, um, avocados. Can we put

those on the list of things that are great? Big fan. You can put whatever you want on there. I buy most of my clothes from Uniqlo. I just Uniqlo. Shout out to Uniqlo. I think it's good. Again, it might be slipping. I dunno. Maybe the quality, maybe Samsonite shit these days. Maybe Bose has like gone into the toilet. No, I don't think so. 12 years ago, those guys were fucking popping off. Yeah. I mean, it's not a general thing though.

It's like if you have a product that you like and then for you, it's good, you know? Yeah. It just, it just makes me feel good when something gets good use out of it. Yeah. You should write a review on Amazon or something, you know? I should be fine with that. ALICE I should never make that one anymore.

What about-? JUSTIN I fucking love Amazon reviews so much. ALICE Oh, god. JUSTIN Especially for, like, real dogshit products. The thing is, I feel like, one of the things people don't realise is that a lot of these dogshit resellers, because a lot of the Amazon marketplace is just people, like we said before, buying shit on Tmoo or Aliexpress and fucking Bosch on it on there at a slight markup, is that they will pay these companies to give them positive reviews. Like you can buy Chinese

review farms that will just put positive reviews in. So a lot of the time you just can't believe what it says. But here's a there's a there's this product called Regain, which is supposed to help you crow there. Oh, no, this is Regain. Oh, this is called Regain extra. It's like knockoff Rogaine. I assume not enough people are aware of the side effects. This is from Matt. Right.

When I say not enough people, I'm including myself in this group. When I bought this product, it was somewhat of an impulse purchase. I was losing my hair and I was panicking about it. I knew if I did nothing about the hair loss, the situation wouldn't improve. So I turned to the internet to research potential products. This lad's written a fucking essay. Oh, I think Rogaine has rebranded to Regain. Oh really? Makes sense. And it's called, yeah, it's still minoxidil. It's the same stuff. I know a few people who

are actually on this regularly and they've told me things about it. If you have a hair transplant, you're supposed to have this as well. Um, and a few, a few people go on, carry on reading though. Tell me, tell me. No, no, no. I mean, he just says that after he stopped using it, um, his hair loss accelerated. Really? Yeah. So I think the point is as long as you're using it, it's like he's saying that it just doesn't work the way people think. Like people think it's just going to stop stuff. But he's like, as soon as you stop using it, all his hair falls out. I imagine the day after he stops using it, he's just Homer Simpson instantly. This guy says it's expensive, long lasting hair gel. Somebody else's review just says poison in all caps. This is a poison, sexual dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, low libido, mental health issues.

FDA got millions of pounds from billionaires investors to approve this poison. Same like antidepressant drugs. You use once, now you have to use forever. Now we are repeating customers and patients to these billionaire drug mafia. I fucking hate this little... It's kind of base, honestly. Oh, fuck these stupid fucking unhinged people. Fuck off already. No, no, no. I kind of agree with that though.

Do you know what I mean? Like, because those symptoms are exactly what the people I've spoken to who are on Monux still have reported. And some people have said that... I mean, again, all I have for my own response series, people I've spoken to in real life, I don't, I'm not like to have a scientific studies, but I think it has, you know, you can't take a thing that fucks with your hormones and not expect it to like have side effects for some description, right? Like, and everyone's

different, everyone's bodies are different, everyone's got to respond to this thing differently. And I think that if you, you have to be very aware of what's going on in your own body when you take these things. Cause sometimes they can fucking be dangerous, you know, for you. That's why the doctor says if this is causing weird side effects, stop taking it immediately. Like you might just be the 1% on that stuff. So be careful. Oh, two seconds.

I'll be right back. That's all right. Name a banal product. Something utterly banal. The most banal product, something utterly banal. The most banal product. Like fucking Winderline. It's basically just vinegar in water. No, no, no. I'm talking about not like... Fossil arms. Not something like that. Just imagine a thing in your house.

A spoon. A spoon. Well, that's a little too generic. Think of something else. A candle. That's too fancy. No, no, no, no, not a candle. A notebook. My fridge. Notebook. A banal product.

Yeah. Like a notebook is- This podcast. Very few people are going to leave a review for a notebook, right? But I guarantee you someone will leave a really negative review. Here's one. This is a notebook. We've got some reviews here. In fact, I might do this next time is find a bunch of funny reviews. Here's a one-star review. Right. Too small. That's the headline. Too small. Do you know what though? I bought a notebook and it was too small. It was like half the size I thought it was going to be. It was like one of those fucking scams.

This just says the one-star. Too small and disappointing. I think you could get that on a t-shirt to sell it as Triforce merch. That's what fucking she said, yeah. The elastic on this is too tight, resulting in the book constantly bent. I guess what you get when you pay for it was cheap. That's Debbie. Thanks Debbie Hudson. Thanks Debbie. Patricia. Very disappointed. What other reviews has Patricia got? You do get what you pay for, not all of us. Thanks Debbie Hudson. Thanks Debbie. Patricia. Yeah. Very disappointed.

What other reviews has Patricia got? You do get what you pay for, not all of us. Bag ripped apart before I could the chicken in. As you can imagine, unimpressed. That's another one of her reviews. Oh wow. They're very dumb. They're very dumb reviews.

Yeah. But I think, the thing is, if there's less than like a hundred reviews on something, I assume most of those are fake or made up by the person selling the item. Exactly. If there's like five reviews and one of them is like, this worked perfectly. All my hair grew back. Then it's like, clearly this is not a real fucking review, is it?

Exactly. So no, have you got a shout out? Come on guys, you must have things. I want you to be positive today. What are your favourite things? Think of things that you couldn't live without, okay? My computer. Which I'm sitting at right now. What about it? God bless it, I wish it didn't crash so much, but...

Wow, that's not good. But, actually, you know what? It's been better. It's been better. Shout out to my computer who's been crashing less more recently. Immediately. Are there any components that you like? Any brands that you use? Like, that you always, like, there you'll go to? Have you got a mouse brand or a monitor brand that you like? Not really, you know. I'll just, if it works, great. You know? I'm not really... Okay. You're not a loyal to one brand customer. You're just, I'll fuck with these.

I don't think I'm really like that with anything. And actually thinking about it, I don't really buy that much stuff. Like I, like I buy games on, on my computer to play. But I can't really think of anything that I, like, I don't think I've ever bought a notepad before in my life. For example, talking about notepads. I don't think I have, I get, well of stuff that I got on that was too small. My kids get a lot of stuff. And like, my wife buys a fair amount of stuff,

normally just for the kids and stuff. But me personally, I don't really buy that much stuff. I would never read a product review because I'm rarely ever shopping for anything. I just don't really buy a lot of stuff. Okay, do you like, like, okay, let's use a friend of mine as an example who will not be, like Simon. Simon is, he's not, he's not got, you know, he's, he's not hard that hard up. Okay. But for the last like two years, he's been using a laptop where the W key on the keyboard broke. Right. Okay. That's an important one.

So he swapped over to using ESDF instead of WASDF. Right. Right. So instead of just getting the key repaired or... Instead of getting a new keyboard, which costs, I don't know, 50 quid or whatever. Yeah. Right. And so he 50 quid. Right. And so he is so used to this that it took him a long time to readjust when he, cause he would come in and play Minecraft in the office and stuff. Over a long time, he was just pressing the wrong key because his hand was so used to being in a different part of the place on the keyboard. And it doesn't take time to re re learn that. But like that's him. I think that's

partly him being, I can work around it and I like things as they are, you know, and I can't, I can't be asked because it's a big faff to get a new thing and order it in and all that crap. Especially if it's a laptop keyboard. You know, you like, who do you get to fix that? Or do you get a new laptop or whatever the fuck, you know? And so, but some people, some people do it because they, you know, almost like a challenge to themselves. Like, I'm going to use this until it absolutely is fucked. And other people are just like, I can't be asked. But at what point do you make, like, fix something? Are you a person who is proactively improving stuff or are you like, I'm just going to leave this until it's

literally falling down? I have to pay, like, in that example, the keyboard, I would just order a new one. Like immediately I would order a new one. I mean, that's literally what I did two weeks ago. Yeah. Or maybe even a little more than that. I got a new keyboard, it's lovely. And my old one, which I loved, literally there were keys just falling off it.

Like it just broke. And eventually one of the little, you know, it's like a little sort of X that the key slots onto snapped off just it's just through wear and tear. I use this keyboard a lot a lot of mashing buttons when I'm playing Dota and stuff and one of the keys broke so you know you can't fix that that's just the way it is yeah and so I think that's fine but yeah I do tend to if something's broken it really annoys me But there are things that I will have broken in the house for months and months and months and just work around until eventually I'm like, why haven't I fucking fixed this yet? For example, we had a fucking hole in our kitchen floor for the better part of 18 months. And it was like, we had a leak in the house. I'm sure I talked about this

previously. The guy came and put a nozzle in our radiator and blew air through it with a bit of water and it makes this kind of noise that you can hear. Found the leak, he knocks a hole in my wall, he knocks a hole in the floor, he fixes the leak, great. But then he's like, I don't do repairs. And I was like, yeah, no, that's cool. But finding someone to come out and repair such a small task was almost impossible. So I had no idea about this thing called Air Tasker, which is like a website where you

post a job and a price and people will say, yeah, I'll give it a go. And we hired a guy. And then some fucking guy, what kind of tasks can you post? Anything. Any old thing. Yeah. Why do you always go to the bald things? It's like, I know it's because I haven't, I get it.

I got an email. I told you this, the way a guy was like, I just, you know, remember Mini Muka did a hair transplant, a brand deal. No, it's like his first brand deal in years. And he went off to Turkey to have a pair. I wouldn't do that. I got an invitation for a hair transplant brand deal and I didn't know how to feel about it.

And also why did they ask me out of all the other people in the Yogs cast? Are they not asking me? What's going on? You know what I'm saying? Like I'm the boldest member of the Yogs. Well, no, but they have to get it from somewhere. You have to have it, you can't be fully bold. You made me forget what I was talking about.

Fuck. What was I talking about? You were talking about that air job thing. You posted a job on that job. Air job. So it went on air job. And I posted this and I got immediately like eight responses. Can you post a picture of the problem? Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he did that. And this lad gets in touch. Young lad. He's like, I'll do it. And I was like, I looked at his. Yeah. He does like five jobs before. And I was like, yeah, sure. I bet this guy's fine. He comes out and he's so young that he's shy even just talking. You know what I mean? And I said to him, how old are you?

He's like 20. I was like, OK. I said, where's your car? And he said, I've got the bus. So he got the bus over and I was like, well, I might not have all the tools you need. He goes, oh, no, I've got the tools. I said, OK. So he does the job. He does fine. But it's like three days. He has to come in and do stuff. He has to buy. he has to look and figure out what he needs to buy. Then he orders it and I pay for it. And then we have to wait for it to arrive at the BQ go and pick it up. And I tell him it's not here yet. So he comes back another day. Finally, he does the job and and you just click job complete and air tasker, which has had the money and escrow pays the guy. So it's like much it's safe. Do you want

to mean like first of all, they agree to do the job and there's no money upfront. It's literally, but equally, I guess they're right there with you in the room and you have to click. Okay. And then it goes through. So it's, it's pretty good. And you can increase the amount or, or reduce the amount of money as you need. It was decent, but this lad, I mean, Jesus, we got him to do three things.

One of them was to replace a dimmer switch, because I'm not an electrician. I'm not going to fuck around. No, no. Yeah. So replace the dimmer switch. He did that. It was fine. One of them was to fix his hole in the kitchen floor and retile it and fix the wall. He did all that. Fine. The third one was to fix our shed door. Now, the shed door was broken for about 18 months. Not even that. Maybe a year, because I had kicked the fuck out of it and destroyed the door.

Why did you do that? Were you angry? No, I wasn't. What happened was we had the door replaced and the guy that did it didn't finish it and wouldn't finish it. He basically did it and he was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll come next week. I never came again. I was like, fuck it, whatever. So I needed the door to open so I could take a load of rubbish from my garden out to the

front, because this lad was coming to clear it all the way, we had like a big garden clearance and rubbish cleared out. And I couldn't open the shed door. And I was like, this guy's gonna be here in 20 minutes, and I really thought I could just open the door and I can't, so I just fucking kicked it until it broke and then it opened. So there were bits hanging off it. I was like, fuck. This is a common thing to have as a homeowner, right? You get locked out or something. It's yours. Yeah, you're like, well, this is my door.

I guess I'm smashing the door down now. Yeah, like I need to do this more than that. I'm just going to boot the door. So I tried to plane it down first so it would open. Didn't work, so I just fucking booted it. So this lad comes in, I was like, can you repair this door? He's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I can repair the door. If you get the lumber, I'll fix it. I was like, okay. So ordered the stuff, got everything. He does it. And he's like, there you go. And at first glance, I was like, oh cool, he's actually fixed it. I was like, thanks. Finished the air task, off he goes. When I opened the door, there's so many nails just jamming out of everywhere. He's obviously trying to go through and, like, missed a bunch of times

and then bent the nail to conceal the fact that he's missed. Oh, no. Looks like the inside of an iron maiden is what my fucking shed door looks like. Jesus Christ. And I was like, oh, God, I shouldn't have got this lad to do the door. Like he did everything else fine. But he was like, yeah, yeah, I could do that. He couldn't fucking do it.

I could make it. He's like his young lad. Yeah, he's literally just turned 20. I was like, man, fair play to him. And I said, where did you learn all this? My dad told me, I don't know why your fucking dad didn't teach you the bad doors, did he, mate? I didn't see. So he's like living like like he's like playing contract bill, but like, you know, he's just he's just doing all these little odd jobs and stuff.

Is your dad free to fix this door? I'm not sure. I should say, could you send your dad over to fix this door? Please. And it's so hard with trades people like we're, we're lucky because we're we're just off the back of a really big job where we've had all sorts of, of everyone in, but we've been able to use word of mouth from those people, which is the best way, you know, like, uh, you get somebody

good, they're always going to recommend somebody good or they'll know somebody good. So it's like, it's a sure shot, but, um, man, cold calling somebody like, you know, out of like a directory or whatever. Holy's so hard. Holy shit. It is such a crap. You don't know what you're gonna get. And the other thing is, I'm not being funny, but post-Brexit, right, not to get into politics, this is literally just the reality of it, it is genuinely harder to get plumbers, electricians and all the rest of it.

Because there just aren't as many. Like a lot of those guys have, you know, gone back to Poland and Romania and Latvia and all the rest of it. And so when you do try to get them, I've had them say, yeah, I'll come out tomorrow and we'll check it out. Never turn up. They get some other job or like the amount you have to pay has gone up. The size of job they don't take small jobs. They're like, that's too small. Not worth my time.

I'll take a big job because there there will be one. Yeah. It's pretty nuts. So little jobs like I've got a relatively small hole in my kitchen floor, can you fix it? And the problem was this was behind the fridge. So the fridge just had to be out from the wall, literally for 18 months, because I could not get anyone to come and fix this and there's no way I'm fucking around with tiling the kitchen.

Oh god yeah. So, it was just like... Why didn't you just cover it up with a bit of plastic bag, you didn't you just cover up with a bit of plastic bag, you know, just hide it. A bit of plastic bag. Yeah. Just so I take some plastic bag over there. How's that going to support the fridge? The fridge is resting on this thing. Like it's the corner where the fridge goes. That whole corner was just fucked. Oh, I see. Yeah. Right. Well, maybe you could have gotten like a wooden base for it or something. You sit the whole thing on. Right. When you're a homeowner, you can come at me with this

shit. How did he fix it? Did he fill it with like rubble and stuff or what? Rubble? Rubble? I didn't get the footstones in to repair it. I didn't know. It was like a sinkhole. I'm not sure how big it is. What are you imagining? Describe to me what's happened to a- That house in Fallout 4 with the crater underneath it. There's a gaping hole.

And the death claw in the cave. It's like a cave down there. Yeah, I'd love to, you turn up on air, Tosca. And it's like, yeah, there's a hole in my kitchen floor. Yeah, we'll get some rubble down there. That will fill it in. It was so imagine that beneath the kitchen floor that, you know, there's all the joists and all the rest of it and all the foundation for the floor. And then there's like an air gap before you get to the ground. And that's where the brick foundations

of the house and everything are. There's like a slight gap. So when the lad smashed through the floor, what he essentially did was he went through the tile and then he went through the whatever board, like the plasterboard that was there as the base of the floor and the insulation. So it was like a proper smashing. And what it needed to do was have some kind of plank or board put onto the supporting joists beneath the floor. And then that needs to be made good on top. And then that needs to be made good on top. And then that needed to be retiled on top.

OK. And then the wall that it also had a hole knocked in it. That's plasterboard that needs to be repaired. So you need to cut out the smash bit and repair it, secure it in place. What kind of tile do you have in your kitchen, like ceramic tile? Yeah, it's like a big tile. Right. It's like quite a large tile. So you needed to also cut the tile to fit the holes. I don't know how to do any of that.

So, yeah. So he did it. I mean, if it's small tiles, you can do that thing. We just score it and snap it essentially and then file off any loose edges. But this is like big times. These things are big. It's like a piece of A3 fucking paper. Yeah. We used to have we used to have like hard ceramic tiles in our kitchen. But the people have soft tiles, soft bouncy tiles. Well, kind of, yeah, there's like that M.T. Co., like the vinyl stuff.

It looks like big ceramic tiles, but there's like a latex self-leveling thing underneath. And then they just lay that tile, it's like a click sort of thing. They just lay it on top of that. So it's pretty hard wearing, it's like a click sort of thing. They just laid on top of that. So it's pretty it's pretty hard wearing. It's good. Like because we found with like with the with the hard tiles, the hard ceramic tiles, the people who put them down before we bought the house and moved in didn't do it properly.

And one of the tiles snapped at the corner. So there's like this really sharp bit sticking out. Like it was like there was like some movement or they didn't put enough, you know, adhesive or whatever at the bottom. And it was just a mess. But then to get it redone was a fucking mess as well, because they had to come in. They had like jackhammer, like all the fucking tiles out. You know, they had it always like all of these jobs.

It's a mess. And then underneath the tiles was like old kitchen flooring that had just been laid directly onto the foundation of the house. So, but this concrete and then that straight on top. Yeah. So it was like, but so the, instead of bringing it up, they were like, we're just going to put the self leveler over it because it's, you know, it's this, it's this really thick liquid that, and when it's set, it's like, you know, it's this, it's this really thick liquid.

And when it sets, it's like, you know, hard, it's basically like having a layer of concrete, but it gets into all the little cracks and stuff. Oh yeah. And it's perfectly flat. Like it's incredible stuff. Put your liquid foundation deep into my cracks. Yeah. But so underneath all that is fucking old tiles from like the 1970s.

Like that had been over tiled and off. It's a mess. The issue that we had was that we got these lovely big tiles when we had the kitchen redone. But because it was a lot of work and like new foundations and everything, there's a bit of settling time when the house literally creaks and groans and settles and wobbles a bit. And then it's like, oof, and sort of settled back down after the work. Yeah. Because when you put this kind of like new floor, new foundations,

it's not just locked in place. There's movement. There's always movement. Yeah, and especially wood. Like we've had the same thing in our loft. We had, the walls were all plastered, like, you know, like a wet plaster, not like dry lining. So they plaster over the whole wall. But then the wall could, the wall that they plastered, um, connected to basically another little wall, but it was just like MDF. Cause it's like, like, you know, like the, the, the very ends of the roof, you know, like the cornery bits, they often just sort of square those off and make them into like a little crawl

space. So it's like, it's like a little bit of extra storage sort of thing. So where this MDF meets the plastering, it's moved. So all the painting, everything's cracked and it looks like shit. So they have to I have to get somebody back in to basically fill it and put some tape and repaint over it. The thing with us was because the tiles are big as the house settled, they cracked. Yeah. Like so there's like a hairline crack running through some of these tiles. It's OK. I mean, it's annoying.

But if there's any movement, like you can get your you can like slice your toe on it and stuff, you know, like with like, oh, yeah, you could. I mean, but this isn't that bad. But it's more like a literal hairline. Yeah. If you get down and look, you can see a line through the tiles. But it was just literally where the house moves. It's all this kind of shit you don't notice if you rent

somewhere. You're only there a year or two, hopefully. And then maybe you've got to get a new place. And you sort of notice there's a couple of things busted, but you know, you're not going to fix them. You don't really care about some

brickwork on the outside. Once you've got a house, you're checking the pointing on shit and like, that point is looking a bit bad. We might get new flashing on the roof. You know've got a house, you're checking the pointing on shit and like, that point is looking a bit bad. We might get new flashing on the roof. You know, he's notice all of this shit. Well, you notice it because the

thing is small problems always turn into big ones. So when you when you own a house, you notice something small, you're like, right, I have to get that fixed because if I leave it, it's going to be a fucking nightmare. And you know what?

Oftentimes it does become one. It does. But there's there's a house on my road and I walk past this bit of their outer brick wall and I can see this white bloom on the brick and that is water damage. Because the water gets into the brick and any minerals or any salt that's stuck in the brick pops out and dries on the surface. And I can see that there's discoloration on these bricks. And every time I walk past a the house I hope that I have the courage to knock and say, I'm sorry to be a pain, I'm not a builder, but you've got water damage on these bricks. Sorry to be that guy. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Come with me and look at this brick damage. But I'm genuinely tempted to do it. Don't worry. You know a guy. I can fix that. Send him around. Do them a service. Post up a job saying I need to fix this water damage on my bricks and then send that young lad over there. Like as a surprise. I don't think I'd send him.

I trust him on floors. I trust him on light switches. I don't trust him on bricks and doors. I don't know anything. I don't trust him on bricks and doors. I don't know anything. I don't know how he's doing with that. So actually, interestingly, this is a part of the loose news we can transition. Let's lose ourselves in the news. Lose yourself in the newsman.

After complaining for the better part of the last two years of Gen Z grads are difficult to work with, which fits into the bracket of that young man. Bosses are starting to fire them instead. So six out of 10 employers in the US have said that they have already begun sacking some freshly hired Gen Z workers after experiencing a raft and they are one in six bosses says they're hesitant to hire college grads again. Wow. So this is just old men saying young men have no, or young women have no, have a lack of motivation or initiative.

I wonder if that's cause they get paid shit. It's almost like these jobs are all fucking boring and don't pay very well. The jobs suck and they get paid shit. Gen Z is unprofessional, dis jobs suck and they get paid shit. You gotta work hard. Gen Z is unprofessional, disorganized, and having poor communication skills. So I don't know, this has always been the case, hasn't it? It's not, um... Fuck you, you boomer cunts.

This is not news. Um, sure. Well, there you go. That is that. That's loose news. It's all good. That's loose news. No, all right. There's loads more. That's loads more.

Jeff Jeff, Jeff Bezos, Jeff Bezos, famous cunt, is sending Katy Perry to the moon. Oh, are you serious? I thought it was a joke. No, it's not. Said my beloved Katy Perry into space. Jeff, what's happening? Is he bringing her back? I fucking love Katy Perry. Of course she's going to come back. It's it's an all women squad going on the 11th flight. This doesn't seem very, very current America to me.

It's sending up his fiance as well, Lauren Sanchez. This is his America. He's rich enough to have his own private American bubble. He's just unaffected. He's just going to send Katy Perry into space. A bunch of women on a spaceship? That sounds like some DEI space initiative. Wow. Shut that shit down. They're sending goddamn women into space. That's bullshit. Send men into space.

We didn't do it last week, so I've got some from last... I think this is a bit old anyway. Apparently the Super Nintendo, the 35 year old games console, they have been running slightly faster for recent, or when they did 35 years ago. It's something to do with the crystal or something in the clock speed. I don't know. People aren't sure why, but apparently it's relevant for speed runners, right? Who are still playing games. Are you serious? What, like, on the... Do they play these games still on the consoles? They surely emulate them, no?

No, no, no, no, no. You've got to do it on the original. The emulation will always be different. And I think a lot of the speed runners are like, this is emulated. So it's not like... It doesn't count. It has to be on the original hardware. Yeah, but there's variance, isn't there? There's a bit of variability with emulation. If it's the actual, original hardware, we know that there's a baseline where it's all the same.

You can do emulated runs, but I think in general the actual hardware... But so now they're finding that the old consoles are running faster. As in the tickrate is higher on these things. So apparently it's got a 24 megahertz AP, some sort of thing. People have been testing it and the sample rate should be 32,000 hertz, but actually it's closer to 32,100, with some of them running even faster. Which is not... It's in consistencies though, right? In a field that needs to be very consistent.

Yeah. Yeah. There was a guy putting his snares in like a freezer to do something, run some tests and see, I don't know, it's quite fun. People are, you know, the Super Nintendo is my growing up console. You know, I'm kind of... I loved it when I got mine. I loved it so much. I'm very affectionate for the Super Nintendo. I still remember how excited I was to play Super Mario World for the first time. Oh my god.

And it was so good too. Just literally. What a game. God, it was such a great game. What a game. Just joy. A cat in Plymouth named Mischief has gone viral on social media after a woman shared the absolute mayhem he has caused across the city.

Oh! There's like a... Have you seen this cat? Like people will post locations of what he did. Yes. Yeah. I love this guy. He's like a black and white cat that has been doing all sorts of stuff. He just went to a vet on his own. He's like been around the various parts of the town, including a school. He's just running errands. As church, you know, post office. He went into a Ladbrokes and made a bet. I don't know.

There's a bunch of random stuff and it's very British and very adorable. So yeah, I'm sure you've seen that if you've been on social media. He just literally gets all over Plymouth. Like I know Plymouth quite well. I went to university there, lived there for three years. And this cat gets everywhere. Pubs. He got into the naval base. He gets into people's houses, police stations. He just literally goes everywhere. Goes and gets into a Morrison's.

He falls asleep on the counter where people are paying. He's just literally he's asleep on a pool table. The huge building. He's in a college common room. He's in a Deucin's. He's in a train station. He just gets very sociable. He just wants to get around. He just wants to meet new people and sleep in new Juicens. He's in a train station. He just gets very sociable. He just wants to get around. He just wants to meet new people and sleep in new places and stuff. I mean, this lad sees Plymouth as his entire domain.

He's just going to wander about. And I just think it's fascinating that this cat has just literally taken it upon himself to explore the entirety of Plymouth. There are plenty of residents of Plymouth that don't know Plymouth as well as his cat does. I'm telling you. You know, it's all the he knows all the alleyways. He sees an alley cat. This guy, this alley cat, you got to have a little

hold on a minute. It's all about the margins. So I saw him in the library. He was in a library. You can't read. What's he doing in there? Thank you, president. Mr. President. The former president actually speaking of President Shlobri.

Speaking of animals in shops, CCTV has recorded shoplifters using pythons to distract a cashier before stealing $400 worth of CBD oil from a petrol station. Yeah, there was a guy on the news the other day who stole like three boxes of 50 Cadbury's cream eggs and was shoving them into his coat and was arrested and banned from going into a Morrison's ever again. Right. Yeah. I saw a shoplifter. I like cream eggs enough, but I mean, I wouldn't, I wouldn't sacrifice so much for a couple

of boxes of cream eggs. Yeah. I was walking through Bristol town centre and this guy came sort of hurrying out of next. And like the, you know, the, like the, the little doorway beeper thing, it started beeping, you know, obviously like triggered something and that beeping like made him speed up and then he started sort of, you know, running and the, there was like some local security there and they obviously just yelled at him like stop straight away. And it was like, wow, I'm just, I was impressed by how quickly they were like responding and they started chasing him. They were like two of them and he turned and saw them and he just like threw like from under his shirt, the thing he'd stolen, which was like a pink

dressing gown, like a woman's nightie dressing gown thing. He threw that on the floor and just ran off around the corner and they didn't chase him any further. But like I could see the whole, as I walked through the rest of Bristol, I could see like more security people kind of coming, almost like they'd called. For backup. Yeah. And so they were all coming to the place. Yeah, they're closing the net. They're triangulating. But I mean, he was, he was like, he was, he was long gone. But I mean, he wasn't really running that fast. But I

thought a couple of things. First thing I thought was, I don't know why people steal things like that. Maybe he's hard up and he needs a present for someone or whatever. Or maybe he's a pervert. God knows what. Pervert! Maybe he was shopping with his wife and he got so bored that he had to steal and run out of the store and cause a big commotion just to get out of there. Yeah. Well, this is it.

Maybe there's some, maybe it was some distraction to some other car. And he was deliberately just pulling everyone to him. Because it felt so bad, the way he was so nervous and ran out and started running and stuff. Surely you just act like you belong. You just steal the thing, you walk out, it beeps, you go, oh, and then you just walk off. But I think if he hadn't been hurrying and rushing and looking around as if he was the

guiltiest man on the planet, he looked like a comic book shoplifter. I don't know whether that's just what people are actually like or whether he's just a dumbass. It made me start to think that conspiracy theory idea of it has to be something more. It's like, oh, there's a bank heist going on and he's distracting all the mall cops over to whatever. A lot of this comes up and you just think, I don't know if people are smart enough to do all this stuff, you know? I think Occam's Razor, right?

It's probably just a dumb guy. It's always the simplest explanation. You know that Occam's Razor, right? You know, there's a whole bunch of movies where people explain what Occam's Razor is. It's obviously, these writers discovered Occam's razor and they fucking put it in every fucking movie. And it's like, you don't need to explain Occam's razor with this, but we've all fucking heard it.

But in every fucking movie, I tell you, watch a movie. And if Occam's razor comes up, some fucking idiot has to have the line, what the fuck is Occam's razor? And then some guy who's meant to be clever is meant to explain what Occam's razor is. We fucking know what Occam's razor is. Shut up. Anyway, carry on. Yeah. You're welcome. That's a very common thing. I didn't know what to do. And I was

almost like, I know sometimes when this stuff happens in front of people, there is like a bystander effect where you just kind of feel like you're watching telly, right? And you don't realize, it doesn't feel... I guess I see stuff like this all the time. You know, sometimes people get, are in a fight or someone gets mugged or, you know, anyway, let's do the next one. So I've got more stuff. Hit me, hit me, not literally, figuratively hit me. Hit him with the rhythm stick. Volkswagen, they, their best selling product is not a car. Have we done this news before?

I feel like I know this already. What is their best selling product Volkswagen? Is it car related? No. I have no idea then. I just thought they did cars. And maybe. It is a sausage.

They make a bratwurst, I think. What? They make bratwursts? They make VW branded sausages, which sold 8.5 million. The Volkswagen Currywurst is a brand of sausage made by Volkswagen since 1973 at the Wolfsburg Volkswagen plant. You'll find this like... What? I was, I waited to buy a new pepper grinder the other day and I noticed that there's, Pergeot make them. Right. The car company.

Sausages? No, the pepper grinders. They make pepper mills. Oh. But it's not uncommon for big multinational corporations to have something they also make in-house. Sometimes just for them. Do you know what I mean? Maybe the Volkswagen sausage, yes, they sell eight million a year, but I think it's mostly used up in their cafeteria, in company barbecues.

Yeah, I would have thought it's something like that. Do you know what I mean? All right, so here's the deal according to Wikipedia. The sausage is branded as Volkswagen Original Teal Volkswagen original part under part number one nine nine three nine eight five hundred a it's listed as a part because obviously they make it at a plant. So they sell them in the six German factories in the canteens. Like you said, you can get them in supermarkets and they're sold at football stadiums, presumably ones that have either what Volkswagen sponsorship or because Germans love sausages, they bosh them in all the Bundesliga teams stadiums. So they have made more sausages than cars,

but it's way, it's much easier to make a fucking sausage than a car. And also, it's pretty close. They sold 8 million sausages, but 5 million cars. Yeah. That's way more impressive. Like, all right, eight million sausages. I mean, Jesus, who cares? That's a silly fact. I'm annoyed by that. Next. A silly fact, but it's fun.

New Zealand's entire public health department has apparently been running on a single Excel spreadsheet. Oh my God. Which is quite good. It works, it works. That's a hell of a macro. That must be a big one. Whoever wrote that macro. God. Which is, which is quite, quite good. It works. It works. That must be a big one. Yeah. I don't find that too, too much of a problem. Although I guess the

entire public health does sound like... What is the population of New Zealand? 47. 47 million. No, it's tiny. I think it's like 10 million. I think it literally might be 3 million. Five million. A very small country. Let's have a look. Population is at the 2023 census, sorry, 2025, they reckon 5.4. So it's really not a big country. Is that, is that Excel-able? I see what you mean.

Can they have, can they have 5 million rows? Is that what you're asking? Yeah. Max rows Excel. It depends which version. Oh gosh. Maximum, maximum number of rows per worksheet is 1,048,577. All right.

So now there's a couple of people's- You just have multiple pages. Oh, per page. Yeah, that's per worksheet. I'd be interested to see how they separate out the pages to get everybody lumped in, you know? Like this- Do it by age.

I suppose, yeah. Babies, they get a page. Babies? And then the next page. And then babies, the babies. And then when it gets to the bottom of the page, when the age gets to a certain point, the macro moves it to another sheet and you just filter everything through like that. That would be a system. ALICE Oh my god. But this is how they got all that bogus stuff about all those people being on social security

who were 150 years old or whatever. And it was all bogus because that's the... if they didn't have an age, they would just put in as, it would default to 150. Yeah, it's right. People are stupid. Next. If they didn't have the name. Yeah.

Irish police have spent two years searching for a criminal who does not exist. Apparently there was a notorious reckless driver who crossed the country, stacking up numerous speeding fines. It sounds like a Seinfeld episode. Yeah, it does. Somehow managed to avoid the law and his name, he was stopped many times giving a different address each time he was caught. See if you can figure this out. So he was stopped like 50 times across the country, gave a different address every time. And each time he was caught. See if you can figure this out. So he was stopped like 50 times across the country. He gave a different address every time. And every time he was put in

under his name, Praro, Praro, Praro, Jadski, Jaskd, oh my God, I cannot read Polish at all. Can you post it into the chat? It's like a really simple name. I'll post it in general. This name. Um, Pravo Jasdi. Pravo Jasdi. What do you think? I reckon that means something like private driver or something like that. Correct. Yeah. It means driving license. Right.

Uh, so obviously the police would write down their name, Pravo Jasdi, write down their address and he just started sick, you know, getting so many, um, but I'm assuming these are all different people. Yes, of course. So basically every time a Polish person was stopped in Ireland, they name was accidentally written down as Praro Jasdy. Oh, because they'd look at the driver's license. Exactly. Where it says driver's license, it says Pravoazzy. And they just thought, Oh, that must be his name. The private.

Number one most wanted, most dangerous criminal. That's great. That is nice. Um, a director has been arrested after spending $17 million budget for a failed Netflix show on crypto sports cars and divorce fees. That is amazing. That's incredible. Is it Steven Spielberg? Yes, it is.

Steve, how did you, you guessed it correctly. It is Steven Spielberg. Oh my God. Could you imagine? He's broke. Netflix paid $70 million for the series during a competitive bidding war for the 47 Ronin director. So he directed 47 Ronin? That's Keanu Reeves movie, I think. The project was titled White Horse and was aiming to tell the story of a scientist who invents a human-like species that turns against their creators.

I mean, it's pretty formulaic stuff. Is this Carl Rich? That's his name. Carl Rich. He's R-A. He's my age. So what did he waste all of his money on? Divorce fees, crypto.

And what was the other thing? Crypto, cars, two mattresses, failed stocks. Just nonsense, really. This dude can be looking at a very long time in prison. Yeah, well, it's basically... He bought five Rolls Royces and a Ferrari. Good lord. That is...

So, here's the... Ninety years in prison. Yeah, here's his indictment. He was arrested in LA and indicted in the Southern District of New York in relation to the Netflix project. Charged with one count each of wire fraud and money laundering, each of which carries a maximum of 20 years, and five counts of engaging in monetary transactions in property derived from specified unlawful activity, it's a catchy name, in violation of the Money

Laundering Control Act, each of which carries a maximum of 10 years. And according to an unsealed 12 page FBI indictment, he's accused of missing using $11 million that Netflix gave him. That's crazy. So he'll be the Secretary of Commerce in like two weeks, probably. Trump is like, I think he's a great guy. It would have been a great show. It's my birthday. It's my birthday on two days time. Happy birthday! Thank you. Thank you.

Congratulations. So you won't be the same age as that director going to prison anymore. I'll be 49. You got so much time to buy up a bunch of crypto and failed stocks and get a divorce and then buy a bunch of cars. Get yourself a Rolls Royce or two. With all the triforce money. Yeah. Yeah. I really do. It's all there. You got like two days. You feeding? You feeding? Frightened?

Yeah. No, I'm just feeling very tired all the time. That's what 49 feels like. Just old and tired. Oh good. Yeah. Fuck it now. I mean, part of it is I've got a cold. Right. But it's okay. No, you weren't too tired to kick in your shed door though.

Hey, yeah. Well, you know, that's just dance stuff. Kick it to smithereens. I literally found it at the smithereens. People in my road were looking, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah! And just kicked a door in. And they can talk about it on their podcast. Yeah. I saw this crazy old guy kicking in his shed.

Smashing up his own house. He just sort of yells. Yeah, he just smashes up his own. He just sm just sort of yells. Explosives out the window. Daff and people. Really interested in planes flying overhead as well. Sex-crazed monkeys, high on sugar, have invaded a town. Now again, this is an article from the Sun, so very, very, could be bollocks. An army of sex crazed monkeys are terrorizing a town after indulging in buffets of sugary drinks and snacks. Uh, business owners on the streets of Lopburi, Thailand. Indulging in buffets of sugary drinks and snacks.

Indulging. Dare I? Go on then. One more bonbon for the road. One more sugary shirt. Just one more sugary shirt. I'm feeling very indulgent today. It's indulgent, yeah. This is the result of feeding them sugar, provided it's an annual festival.

I don't know if sugar really does this, but what is this festival? The monkey sugar festival? They've been attacking photographers. There's a yearly festival. Um, yeah. Called the monkey fest. The monkey buffet festival. No, it's not. I would a hundred percent go to the monkey buffet festival just to see what the fuck is there. It's called APE OUT! Exclamation mark. Sugar Adventure. Okay, so, okay, this is again a man-made thing. So basically what happened was these monkeys in the place were a major tourist draw.

So popular that an annual monkey buffet festival was introduced and has been going for 30 years. Wow. that an annual monkey buffet festival was introduced and has been going for 30 years. For decades, holidaymakers have flocked to the city to watch the monkeys gorge themselves on food and vegetables. At the festival, 100,000 spectators watch monkeys fill their bellies with two tons of food. However, it has caused this massive population boom. Will Barron What, in the people or the monkeys? Jason Vale In the monkeys. Will Barron Oh, I thought the viewers of the festival

were breeding. Jason Vale Ever since, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit and without the usual mountain of food to keep them fed, the monkeys went feral and began attacking locals. Will Barron Oh my god. Jason Vale To keep them away. People threw out junk food, including sweet soft drinks, fruit drinks, chocolate and cereal, but this only made them more violent. Jesus. They are now, listen to this, the thousands of animals are now so invigorated that they're

stealing cars and causing chaos on the roads. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like fucking GTA Thailand. God. That sounds amazing. I just love the idea of people running around. Like, this is the thing. When you live alongside actual animals like monkeys, not just squirrels and pigeons, you got to be careful. Shit gets very real very quickly. I saw a video of a monkey attacking like a baby and the parents were like trying to

kick it away and stuff, but it was, I mean, they're fast and unpredictable. You know, like they're pretty strong too. Like you would. That baby's like a Capri son. Yeah. Yeah. He wanted to drink the baby. Exactly.

I can get in there. Right. Well, that is our podcast the baby. Exactly. I can get in there. Right. Well, that is our podcast for today. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining us. Cheers. We will be back next week. Yeah.

With more. Yeah. See you then. Why not? And a new positive attitude. Yes. Hey, this was a good episode. This was so positive.

Thank you. Bye. Bye.