Triforce! - Triforce! #108: Banano in Mama Mia

Episode Date: November 20, 2019

Triforce! Episode 108! Pyrion's housemates break in to play Worms, Lewis is figuring out YouTube for Kids and Sips gives some top hog-squeezing tips. Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more abo...ut your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Pickaxe. won't find anywhere else. Experience the excitement of the casino floor right on your phone. Download the app and play whatever, wherever, and whenever. Your options for fun are endless. On DraftKings Casino, your way is the only way to play. Join the fun on your time, in your space, and within your means. The best part is it's safe, secure, and reliable. So deposits and withdrawals happen when you're ready. Go all in on fun with DraftKings Casino. Head to the App Store to download.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Explore a full suite of games and find your favorites today. DraftKings Casino, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call Connex Ontario. 1-866-531-2600. 19 and over and physically present in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See casino.draftkings.com for details. Please play responsibly.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Triforce podcast. That's right. With me, Lewis, your favorite just a millennial, Pflax, who is the world's truest boomer, and Sips, who is probably uncategorizable. He just went and got his driving license renewed. That's right. Congrats. Did you have to queue up at the DMV for like 12 hours? I did, and I had to do an eye test, and I failed it. We don't have a DMV in this country. We have a DVLA. I don't think they even have that on Jersey. Sips just said he went to the village hall or something.
Starting point is 00:01:52 Yeah, I'm sure. I had to get a heavy goods license because I've got to transport my hog everywhere I go. Your hog. My fucking dogger. You've got a gigantic German sausage you just
Starting point is 00:02:07 guys it's been two weeks since we had a podcast normally Lewis gets very excited when we don't
Starting point is 00:02:14 have when we have a big gap between podcasts because everybody has so many stories to tell experiences
Starting point is 00:02:20 and stuff like that so in the past two weeks have either of you guys done anything noteworthy like other than like your usual stuff or what because like i've done nothing i did have an interesting thought yesterday right okay no let's go with that start with that start with
Starting point is 00:02:36 the interesting thought i think that's what it is this is like old men shower thoughts yeah yeah when you look down in the shower and you look at yourself and you're disappointed you ever you're ever in the shower for a while and you're thinking about stuff and you lose track of time and then all of a sudden you look at your hands very pruney and you're like how fucking long have i been in here for and all you're thinking about is like i wonder what kind of bush would look good on the side of my house or whatever. But that has taken four hours of thinking. You know what I mean? Are you guys at that point in your life? Yeah, of course.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Yeah, same. Well, I mean, I think that that might be because you love, you've been playing Planet Zoo, I noticed. And whenever I tune into your stream, you are building a wall. There is some sort of wall being built, like an oriental wall or a stone wall. Oh, yeah, yeah. Did you see the palace that I created? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:29 The oriental. Oh, man. I can't believe that you managed to create something so, I mean, obviously. I don't know whether to put it down to them building really good tools or you just being natural. Being a really good tool myself, yeah. Yeah. It's hard to distinguish, i don't know i think i don't think about uh home decoration um when i'm in the shower i do a little bit i never get
Starting point is 00:03:52 around to actually doing any home decoration because i'm pretty lazy but i think about it a lot like i i think about how i would like my house to look but i never put into motion anything to make it look like that. Well, mostly because home decoration is what you do once you have a tidy house. And I feel like my house, my place is like, my flat is always, there's always mess to clean up. So before I have like, you know, I have to pick up all the dirty clothes off the floor and put all the, do all the washing up and put the washing in. And then I'm like, oh, okay, I'm done. That's the limit at which I've stopped thinking about it. I think people who have like your parents, you always washing up and put the washing in and then i'm like oh okay i'm done i that's the limit at which
Starting point is 00:04:25 i've stopped thinking about it i think people who have like your parents you always have this lovely tidy house and constantly put it doing they're thinking about loft conversion they're thinking about building a conservatory they're thinking about oh maybe we should do another fence in the garden um but you have to start from like a baseline you know there you can't even i can't even hold the capacity yeah in my brain to think about improving my place looks like uh like a rainbow six siege map um i was gonna say uh i was gonna say a prop hunt map after a few grenades no no it looks like it looks like the SWAT team invaded and uh some like flashbangs were thrown in my living room. And there's, oh my God, there's crap everywhere all the time.
Starting point is 00:05:07 It's great, though. Except for on a Tuesday, because the house is cleaned on a Tuesday. Our cleaner comes today. She's probably here now. And the kids come home from school, and the house is spotless for like an hour. I'm just like, keep it like this. And it's knee deep. Literally within an hour I'm just like keep it like this yeah then it's knee deep literally within an hour yeah
Starting point is 00:05:26 but it goes from being spotless to being the garbage compactor in Star Wars within the space of like an hour I'm the little tentacle creature
Starting point is 00:05:35 you just hope that the walls aren't closing in because you're gonna have like a little tentacle under the water pops up
Starting point is 00:05:40 yeah exactly is that one of the kids or is that like an alien? Something touched my leg. It could be a child. Oh man, Planet Zoo is so good. It's great. It isn't perfect though. It crashes a bit.
Starting point is 00:05:58 There's a couple of bugs and stuff. Yeah, I saw a tweet from Duncan that he had like a flamingo or whatever in a pool of water and it died of dehydration. Literally in a pool of water. Yeah, he was complaining a bit about it, but he's been addicted to it too. I have a hippo enclosure where part of it is... It's amazing because you can use scenery to build bridges that staff will use, which I think is amazing. Like they programmed it to the AI for staff to recognize bits of scenery that you might be using as a bridge and they'll cross it. Because my hippo enclosure is water with like little islands.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Because the hippos can swim, right? So like I figured, okay, cool. They'll go in, swim, make it to the other islands or whatever. But at first I didn't have little bridges. So the islands were isolated and they were covered in shit like they the hippos would swim over there and shit all over these islands and then constantly the game would be complaining about this enclosure being like a disease risk and there's shit everywhere and stuff so i built these bridges so that the keepers could go in, cross the bridges and suck up all the shit from the islands, right? But what happened is also there's like a shallow bit of water that the hippos used to cross over to get to these islands.
Starting point is 00:07:14 That's full of shit too. There's just shit everywhere. So like I can't clean it up. It's like a nuclear waste dump now. Yeah. It's just like I can't do anything with it. It's just going to be like that forever. It needs a super fund to cover, like, sort out the site.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Yeah. And like, fucking Chernobyl, this zone. It's a bad one, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. So I went on holiday. As a result, I installed Apple Arcade. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Have you heard of this? It's like this subscription service that Apple have added to like games. I think I get the impression it's Apple's answer to having all those shitty fucking microtransaction, wanky, exploitative games. All of them. Every mobile game is like that. Because what they've done is they've added this subscription and it's relatively cheap, I think.
Starting point is 00:08:06 It's like six quid a month or something. And you get like a hundred, I'm not kidding, mostly completely wank mobile games. But because they've been sort of paid for
Starting point is 00:08:19 or whatever by Apple Arcade, because I guess Apple have just thrown money at all of them to say, do you want to be in Apple Arcade? We'll give you $100,000 or whatever each. They have said, but to be in this, you have to have no microtransactions.
Starting point is 00:08:33 And so a lot of the games obviously were in development. People were making a mobile game and they were thinking, how am I going to get this publicized? What am I going to do? It's full of microtransactions. And they've had to pull all that out at the last minute but it's still got all of that either kind of half-arsed wanky mobile microtransaction bullshit in there and so a lot of these games are just they're just shit it's so funny it's like it's like they're so like unfinished or like like bad or like just really like like base stock unity assets um or
Starting point is 00:09:07 like weird like unfinished ui and some of them are just like shit like one of them is called like fucking word worm or something and it's like literally like a stock image of like a shuttle stock image of a a cat comes up and you have like a like a fucking letters on the screen you just have to join the letters cat and it's like how is this a fucking you know i mean it's like how has that made it into apple arcade you know at least i thought it was going to be a little bit more premium than that but they have obviously attracted some legitimate decent-ish games in there and i've played a few that have been good you know what it reminds me of you used to be able to buy these cassette tapes that were a hundred games on one tape or
Starting point is 00:09:46 i think it was like a hundred games on this cartridge but it does remind me of that remember the remember when game demos were like much bigger than they are now in popularity like remember you used to buy a pc gaming magazine or whatever demo. You used to get a CD with, I'm not even kidding, like 500 demos on it. It was crazy. Most of them were garbage. But there'd be a demo for like, the demo for Duke Nukem 3D. That was a whole level. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:16 And that was unbelievable. Yeah, I played that. And I just played that over and over and over again. Same. I played it a lot, yeah. And Worms. There was a demo of Worms. When I was at university, this was the first year of university,
Starting point is 00:10:25 I got the demo for Worms on the PC. And I was the only one in the house that had a PC. So I installed it on there. And all the other lads in the house I was living in would break into my room when I was out to play Worms. Because if I was out, they're like, well, we still want to play Worms. They would break into my house, to my flat, right? Or my room in the in the building we
Starting point is 00:10:45 were in because we were in like we weren't in halls we got a whole house and over the course of the months i had no idea they were doing this over the course of months there was the the windowsill under my the main window facing the street had a big hole in it and i was like oh no the wood must have rotted away just with the damp because it was a crap house. So I was like, oh, God, I have to pay for that. Only several years later did my best mate, Simon, reveal to me that he, climbing in through the window, had put his foot through the windowsill and crunched it and never told me because they would sneak in and play worms. Sneak in.
Starting point is 00:11:23 Because one of them would climb in and let the rest in. They all play worms and then i guess one of them would keep watch i was like you could have just asked like just say can we play worms and just leave your door unlocked i mean it wouldn't have been a problem but it was so weird and then they they blew it because one time for a joke they hid a load of potatoes around the room because me and mrs f stayed at we're at university together so they they had a bag of old potatoes and they hid a load of potatoes around the room because me and Mrs. F stayed at we're at university together. So they had a bag of old potatoes and they hid them all over our room, including in her underwear drawer. She was livid. She was beyond livid. Nice.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Well, is it not one of those cases where I thought the story was gonna go that you didn't find them all? Oh, no. Well, we found one. Because once we found one, Mrs. F was like, I can't sleep in here till we found all these potatoes well we found like one because once we found one mrs f was like i can't sleep in here so we found all these pathetic i was like fine found them everywhere it's like the chicken in the back seat you know classic like just forgotten about or put a fish in someone's glove compartment like oh my my friend stored a half-eaten burger king burger in his glove compartment one time this was just this was during a road trip we took a road
Starting point is 00:12:26 trip to uh much it's not really a road trip it's a two-hour drive from ottawa to montreal to go see monday night raw uh wrestling live he was hung over and sick and uh to cure this decided to eat a burger king burger in a moving car ate half of it and then put the other half in the glove compartment and it was there for like a week i think he just forgot about it oh yeah oh my god that kind of stunk of burgers forever after that well the thing is like if you wanted to take revenge on someone in that way like i read a horrible one which always gives me nightmares which is like someone getting like a tub of like fish paste and then like just a paintbrush and just painting it like you know in the in the door cracks you know like behind the door in the hinges you know where you can't easily get to and like on the inside of
Starting point is 00:13:14 plug sockets do you mean like the kind of places where um the fbi like unscrews when they're looking for you know drugs or something you know these these like inside the panel inside the fridge you know that you don't think it comes off the fridge door or whatever but you can get it in there you know these kind of places yeah oh ingenious yeah i really like i know that that that's uh was it el chapo or one of those lads that had a a bathtub and under the bathtub there was an escape tunnel yes so yeah the bathtub was like a pneumatic lift things so it goes and you climb down the tunnel and then close the bathtub over the top of you thought that was yeah and then they'll find it in the movie by like they'll be they'll be like they'll be a detective like at the end of his tether and he's like drunk and he's like and he
Starting point is 00:13:57 knocks like the whiskey bottle he's looking at himself in like the bathroom mirror he knocks the whiskey or he punches the mirror and he punches his face and his face cracks yeah and it knocks like a glass of water a glass of whiskey yeah he's so frustrated that he can't crack the case and then the whiskey rolls yeah to the edge of the bath and then you hear his trickling yeah and then he turns and music starts he's got that he has that moment of clarity all of a sudden and then montage of them lifting up the bathtub and then they're can't finding the lads down in the tunnel what that music was
Starting point is 00:14:28 that's the movie i gotta watch that sounds great yeah imagine that you're watching a movie you're getting all engrossed and stuff there's this like amazing part coming up he just discovers that like it was hit Hitler all along. And then... It's like Robocop music. If you took a dramatic moment for a movie and put that music over the top of it, I think that would improve it. Big drum beat. You gotta have a huge drum beat for that. I think the thing I'm most looking forward to at Christmas actually is watching
Starting point is 00:15:14 back good movies. Really rewatchable movies like Back to the Future, Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park. The classics. I want to just just do a back-to-back of like lazy movies on Christmas man I really I'm already done with Christmas honestly they've already started playing the music and stuff in the stores and I'm just like uh I'm done I hate it I haven't really noticed about like them playing the music in stores and stuff and seeing the decorations I feel like I'm I've not been hit with it too hard in the face.
Starting point is 00:15:46 I just never leave the house, so Christmas starts when I want it to start. Right. That's pretty much it. When is that? December the 24th. Right, okay. Good Lord.
Starting point is 00:15:55 A very, very one-and-done Christmas. Well, I think we talk about this every year, about the decorations. Oh, yeah. It's a big thing, because the kids are still too little to really help. So you say to them, help me hang the baubles. They break half the baubles, you know? That's such an excuse.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Like, you just get them. Just get them. Look, if you can get your kids to work, P-Flex, put them to work. Do you know what I mean? Oh, I'd put them to work, but they're fucking hopeless. It's sometimes worse having a bad employee than having to do it yourself.'s it i see you just have to clean up after me like do this and they half-assedly do it or fuck it up you're like shit now i've got to undo their shitty attempt and then do it myself as well yeah sometimes you just think it's not worth it are all glory and no guts
Starting point is 00:16:38 that's the problem with the kids that's exactly that's such a boomer thing to say isn't it it's so true though isn't it like kids always don't understand the value of a good or hard day's work. They want to turn around and say that they've done it, but they don't want to put the work in. You know what I mean? That's true. That's what it's like. We weren't grafters back in our day, were we?
Starting point is 00:16:59 No. We were kids. We were idiots. It's just the same. Speak for your fucking self. I worked hard, okay, to get where I am. I think humans, I think we're just the same, as lazy as them, but we've got better at hiding it. You get to a point as an adult where you realize there's some shit you just got to do.
Starting point is 00:17:17 You don't like it, but you got to do it. When you're a kid and some of your parents say to to you we've got to go to granny's house today you think fuck that noise why would i want to do that it's gonna suck granny's house is boring smells of granny and it's just like oh yeah but you know what you gotta do it at the same time though sure but i have salmon it smells like salmon most of the time yeah but you got to find the bright side of everything right every every Every cloud has a silver lining, right? Sure. An unusual note of positivity from Sims.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Sure. You've got to go to granny's house and it sucks and it smells like fish and stuff. And nobody has fun there and it stinks and it sucks. And it's boring. And it's boring. There's no Wi-Fi. But on the bright side, she might have the new sears catalog so you can look at people in bras that's true i don't even know if sears is still around but
Starting point is 00:18:10 that's what i used to do and there's nothing wrong with me now look i came i turned out fine um after looking at all those i love looking at the t's in the catalog so hang on a sec let me just talk let's talk about this for a second, because this is some fucking real talk, right? I had a shower thought this morning, okay? Now this is a weird one, but partly because YouTube have come out finally with their announcement that if you are making videos aimed at kids, you need to check a little box that says you're doing that and i and obviously there's a bunch of um reasons to do that partly to protect kids from things but also to to protect kids from being exploited um and being filmed by their parents and being made to make videos there's lots of other massive problems on youtube which are overdue being fixed but also for a very long
Starting point is 00:19:05 time it feels like the presumptive sentiment that I've heard from YouTube and also been told to do on YouTube is to make your videos kid-friendly right because if you make your videos kid-friendly it gets better ads can't mention Hitler can't say anything at all can't say bad words because you get blocked or so everyone should be making happy kids videos. And also so many kids watch YouTube that in fact, you need to make your thumbnails have arrows and faces and these ways because eight to 13 year olds drive YouTube. They click things.
Starting point is 00:19:40 They click things. They click loads of ads. They're clicking and clicking and all day long they're clicking. But an adult sees a pop-up ad, they won't click things. They click things. They click loads of ads. They're clicking and clicking and all day long they're clicking. But an adult sees a pop-up ad, they won't click it, but a kid will. And so those things that are attractive to kids are what the algorithms push forward. And so that's why they said that a little bit like how teenage girls used to drive the top of the pops. Whatever song went to number one, that was because teenage girls went and bought it.
Starting point is 00:20:09 It's the same, but it's teenage boys and girls clicking on things which makes YouTube videos successful. That's what we've been told, and that's what YouTube is. We all understood that, but now we're being informed that if you're targeting kids, so if your videos are directly targeting kids, which I think a lot of people won't know sometimes whether their audience is.
Starting point is 00:20:29 When Notch originally launched Minecraft, he didn't realise, you know, he hosted Minecraft in Vegas. He didn't know that his game was played by kids and he was shocked by the amount of kids playing it. And obviously, you know, we now know that it's an incredibly kid-focused game. But, you know, if we make a Minecraft video, is that directed to kids? I think it's a very strange area anyway i was thinking about this because i was
Starting point is 00:20:48 thinking about this and then uh porn hub okay of course you were sorry yeah you know how like um there's this thing we talked about on this podcast before about the most popular kind of porn is this like stepsister oh man i was talking about this yesterday no it depends on where you are there's a map of porn by topic by country that you can look at it's very interesting
Starting point is 00:21:10 well I was wondering I feel like that would be very popular in America it's popular in very certain parts of America yes stepsisters is that coming from
Starting point is 00:21:18 teenagers though do you know what I mean no it's mostly coming from me honestly I mean that no it's mostly coming from me honestly I mean that I don't alright
Starting point is 00:21:28 North America and Britain the most popular stuff lesbian I guess my shower thought is that I guess like when we were kids
Starting point is 00:21:36 like we had the Sears catalog the M&S bras bras section you know and we had maybe
Starting point is 00:21:43 a dirty copy of bras and panties section yeah i hate that we had panties who fucking says that if we were lucky we had a copy of daily sport in the woods or we fucking had somebody had managed to get like some horrible like like dutch magazine with like some woman shoving candles up her vagina you know that was that was it you know that was that was it joey you know someone got it on a french trip or whatever do you mean it was like it was came from the continent i'm not saying we were like it was censored but it certainly wasn't in it was wasn't easy to get your hands on porn when we were kids right or teenage even teenagers like yeah it was it was trickier and the internet was really only dawning for us and you know it wasn't really well it was like top top shelf stuff right like the
Starting point is 00:22:30 magazine yeah the magazine like at the convenience store wherever you used to get your magazines from it was like they were at the top they were on the top shelf and they had that like that barrier thing remember yeah you used to have to dare people to go in and buy them but but equally i feel like there's this this we're being told we're constantly being told like that things are happening like kind of in the world that obviously like like in japan you know men aren't interested in women because like you know and they well if you look at their porn searches do you know what the number one is in japan hentai yeah i'm not kidding i'm looking at the data right now he's got the data china china and japan it's hentai he's got the he's got the data it's team we got this generation growing up well i'm not i sound like a boomer okay
Starting point is 00:23:18 i do here but i i guess like i'm interested because it is it does make me feel detached now. I'm a bit older from what kids grew up with today. And we've had 10 years of internet porn. That's like a whole generation of kids growing up with access to stuff on their phones that we could only dream of back when we were teenagers. And they can get it a lot younger than us. There's kids, I was thinking this morning about kids growing up with ipads and how cool that is and having access to wikipedia but then again like i was on wikipedia yesterday looking at something
Starting point is 00:23:53 and suddenly i was like it was like a shock site the wikipedia for me has now become the place where i'm exposed to the most disgusting images by accident i think i was clicking around about something and some guy died and i was like oh oh, I wonder what that disease is. And I clicked on it. I was like, ah! Do you know what I mean? I feel like it's obviously an important resource. And I remember it reminded me of a time when I was like, I don't know, I was like seven or eight or something. And my mum had these like medical grade textbooks, you know, on a shelf. And obviously as a kid kid i was like rummaging through stuff just bored looking for stuff to do and i obviously opened this fucking tome and it was
Starting point is 00:24:29 like a dictionary and it had like a picture on there of some guy covered in sores or something and it was like something pretty gross and i remember it as it being this moment in my childhood that was like not traumatic but certainly like like like unpleasant and it affected it didn't affected me i remember it now i don't know if it hurt me. I remember it now. I don't know if it hurt me or anything. I'm fine now. Kids are very resilient, et cetera. But like, I'm just, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:51 I think that I read this whole bunch of stuff about self-improvement and I don't really watch porn anymore because I read that it was very bad for your brain, like very, very like kind of poisonous poisonous for you and i i sort of believed it right um and and so i don't know i'm just i just what do you guys think about that because you you have kids i suppose and i watch a lot of porn as well what do i think about it let me think hmm um when i'm when when when i decide to turn on and watch some porn, my brain doesn't really come into it at all.
Starting point is 00:25:29 My donger sends a message to my brain that says, I'm ready to rock and roll. And then my brain goes into like this autopilot mode where like it goes through the checklist of things that need to happen before we could turn on the porn and just start you know squeezing squeezing my hog and we're back to your hog you have to well there's a series of guidelines for squeezing the hog you know it's a heavy goods vehicle so you need to ensure you've got you know you got to get your eyes checked got the correct safety equipment run through the mental run through the mental checklist yeah you got it's like you're like preparing a ship to leave port you know that's right yeah yeah see like is is is has everybody squared away has everybody left the house squared away check check um is our old have i have i closed all the curtains check uh you know there's other things
Starting point is 00:26:21 that you gotta you gotta check right you gotta got to set the mood. You got to get ready to rock and roll. The mood for sneaky porn watching. Light the candle, check. You got to light the candles. Light the candles, get the little potpourri bowl going in the corner. That's the one. Prepare the moist towelette. Get the porn music going.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Get the mood music going. You got to break out that uh that two liter bottle of uh crystal pepsi that everybody thinks is just like a a bottle of crystal pepsi but really it's lube in there you put lube in there oh that's clever oh my god yeah because you're gonna fuck because everybody in your house hates crystal pepsi i've never used uh lube for for for wanking i don't know why why you need lube maybe it makes it better it just seems like it would be super messy well i mean it's well well okay go on lewis what were you gonna say about it well first of all um some people are circumcised wow um yeah
Starting point is 00:27:20 so you know you gotta consider that what they need lube if they're circumcised yeah because they don't have a um i understand that but i'm just saying you know i didn't realize that that they needed lube to get off that's yeah you definitely do shout out to all the circumcised guys out there jerking it with a dry hand once you've lubed once you'll never go back um flat it's a different experience it is a different experience for sure. I've got to go. I'll report my findings back at a later date. A very pleasant one, I might add. Why wait?
Starting point is 00:27:50 Very pleasant. Yeah, all right. Let's see if I can get a zip sound on the tripod. Did you hear that zip? Yeah, I heard it. It was very disappointing. Very unsatisfying zip sound. It's a well-worn zip.
Starting point is 00:28:03 In movies, they always add this artificially yeah yeah yeah I think a lot of the time in movies I think they film something and it's like yeah that doesn't sound enough it doesn't sound enough like a chainsaw yeah everyone always adds all that shit it's like you know that fucking squeaky gate noise
Starting point is 00:28:19 that they put in every friggin movie someone opens a gate once you've heard it you'll hear it in every no it's like a like that it's just a really quick squeaky noise they put it in every fucking film once you've heard it it's like the wilhelm scream you can't unhear it it's a stupid sound effect that the lazy foley artists out there you know who you are use it because they think it's funny to put the same fucking clip in every time lazy fuckers get out there get a microphone get a squeaky gate and make your own don't fucking use the off-the-shelf there are a bunch of sound effects that i've over over over my 35 years come to recognize as well
Starting point is 00:28:56 like there's a there's a bunch of explosions certainly gun sounds like shotgun sounds stuff like this like and reload sounds like you they're the same fucking ones that have been used for like 25 years and you know a shotgun doesn't doesn't sound like a shotgun if you don't you know do that and the fucking you know the same annoys me is that the guy's always cocking the shotgun i'm like what were you not ready to go you know what i mean you didn't know before you went in there you decided you're gonna cock it just before you shot the lad just fucking put one in the chamber what you're doing don't clown around just get be ready they like to use that shotgun reloading sound in like memes and stuff too don't they like that yeah like that reload sound they use it in memes overused so anyway half an hour
Starting point is 00:29:37 ago half an hour ago i mentioned an interesting thought i'd had right oh yeah sorry sorry yesterday we went to sainsbury's. We had to pick up a few odds and ends. And I said to the girls, you can buy a bag of crisps each for lunch tomorrow because we're almost out of crisps. So my youngest gets- What a treat. I know.
Starting point is 00:29:55 She gets a bag of prawn cocktail. Shout out, prawn cocktail crisps. Okay. It's a lot of shout outs today. You need to discipline that child. What's wrong with prawn cocktail? Well, what's not wrong with prong cocktail you read an article that says every time someone eats prong cocktail it shaves six
Starting point is 00:30:10 months off their life or something no it's just my personal belief that anyone who likes prong cocktail is probably going to be a serial killer i love it so so what makes you think that that's that's an interesting line of thinking um from a guy who I would say traditionally would fit the serial killer description. Walk me through this one. I want to know more. It's a small niche of people who enjoy a very weird taste. Right. And it must have come from somewhere.
Starting point is 00:30:40 They probably had a traumatic experience that led them down that path an untreated mental disorder right um or they're just a a nan like do you know i mean they're they're old before their time is your daughter like does she sometimes does she like knitting no she sort of the other my eldest bought a bag of quaavers. Yeah, Quavers are acceptable. Reasonable choice for a child. But it was a grab bag of Quavers. Shucks. Well, she's a kid. Right, but here's my thing.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Like the man-sized one? No. No, I'm just saying. You don't want that for your children. Grab bag is big, right? That's the one the way you can. Oh, the huge bag. Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:31:21 I thought you meant the little bag. No, no, no, no, no. This is about, it's only slightly bigger than a normal bag of quavers but it has grab bag and a picture of a little hand going like grabbing the crisps now i'm thinking just because there's more in there does that mean you have to eat them like shrek eating a bag of crisps like why is the what is the instruction why is it a grab bag what has changed just because there's more of it suddenly i'm putting my whole hand in and grabbing handfuls of quavers to shove in my mouth all at once because i eat my crisps two fingers like like my fingers like chopsticks
Starting point is 00:31:56 in it goes are you grabbing a handful of just going and shoving them i used i used two fingers to to pinch them so that i have less to clean up after i finish eating that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying and i'm saying this this grab bag you can just you can just run your two fingers like under a running tap right and just like rinse them off and you're ready to go that's what i'm saying i used to know someone who would open the bag and then crush up the crisps inside into a crisp um crisp tritus they called it and then it would just they just pour it into their mouth that would be it it'll be like a quick disgusting disgusting yeah that is point me at that person animal of the year point me at that person so i can do a gbh that i don't i don't i don't know if the grab bag,
Starting point is 00:32:46 first of all, I think the grab bag, no one should be fisting their crisp packets, you know, grabbing fistfuls of crisps. That's madness. I don't get it. If you offer someone a bag and they put their fist in there and grab a popcorn fistful of...
Starting point is 00:33:02 I mean, a popcorn fistful is fine in the cinema, like if you're grabbing someone else's popcorn you're having like a lot yeah but even that's rude right that's rude if it's yours and you're sharing it maybe you can do that then you can hold your you need out of your hand for a while you know um but straight from the fist to the mouth no i don't get it i mean who eats like is that a search term a popular search term very popular in lebanon apparently no i'm just i'm looking at the map here and i'm a big fan of bbw right i like i like i like the larger ladies big booties big tips oh i thought that was a type of crisp no the only country in the world where that is a popular search term
Starting point is 00:33:37 is somalia shout out to somalia man shout out to somalia represented the bbw what else are we shouting out today this is too many shout outs it's like it's like shout out to Somalia representing the BBW. What else are we shouting out today? This is too many shout outs. I'm sorry. It's like shout outs are quite for the scrap bag. It's like being at the MTV Awards in the 90s.
Starting point is 00:33:52 The amount of shout outs. What if you don't give shout outs? They're free. It's free. I'm just giving them a shout out. It's free. You can give shout outs. You can give a fucking shout out
Starting point is 00:33:59 right now. You're jealous you're going to want to shout out. All right. Shout out to all those people out there who aren't shouting people out for every goddamn thing. I mean, who cares?
Starting point is 00:34:07 I'm shouting out a whole country here. Yeah, well, good for you. We don't need any more shout outs. We've had enough now. I'll give as many fucking shout outs as I want to give. All right, all right. Jesus. All right, look, I think the grab bag,
Starting point is 00:34:18 I think the idea- Shout out to grab bags. Fucking grab bags. You can- You're with grab bags. It's like the fucking... It's like the Big Gulp, right? It's just a way to get people to eat more of your product
Starting point is 00:34:29 and pay more of it under the guise that you're going to share it with someone. But actually, you're just going to eat the whole fucking thing yourself. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? No one's sharing no fucking grab bags. It's the icon of the little grabbing hand. It's like,
Starting point is 00:34:40 get in there, grab these crisps. It's like sharing... No, but it's a sherry bag. That's the point. It sounds like it's in there, grab these crisps. No, but it's a sherry bag. That's the point. It sounds like it's got this illusion of sharing, whereas actually it's just greed, fatness. It's like ex-king size. Do you feel like a king now you're eating a king size one?
Starting point is 00:34:58 No, just fatter. Do you know what I mean? But kings are fat, like you. I don't know. Fuck you. I'll grab my king-sized hog anytime I like. I'll grab my king-sized hog as well anytime I like. So let me talk about food for a second.
Starting point is 00:35:14 I went to, when I was on holiday, I went to a sushi restaurant, and I had some nice sushi. Where did you go on holiday, by the way? You didn't mention. Private. It's private. I'm keeping it.
Starting point is 00:35:30 It's a secret. I'm experimenting with the idea of keeping something in my life private. This is another thing I wanted to talk about. But I went on holiday, but I'm not telling people where I went. And I've told a few people. I want to see how soon it gets out where I was
Starting point is 00:35:47 because it wasn't anywhere weird or anything it's just fine I bet it was fucking weird if you're keeping it a secret you left the country though right yeah yeah yeah I went to a nice place it was nice it was sunny really sunny anyway Portugal uh went to close he went he had sushi I don't think they have sushi in Portugal what? in the whole of Portugal? in all of Portugal it's a coastal fucking country
Starting point is 00:36:11 he went to fucking Spain he went to Spain he went to Spain fuck it it's all in the air what? I didn't know did you actually go to Spain?
Starting point is 00:36:20 but where else is sunny? yeah well all I like is fucking Spain anyway oh my god you are such a fucking chav like where did you go? where did you go? Yeah, well, all of fucking Spain, anyway. Oh, my God. You are such a fucking chav. Like, where did you go? Where did you go?
Starting point is 00:36:28 I'm not telling you. I was slightly embarrassed. Did you fucking wear your tracky bottoms every single day while you were there, too? I did. I walked around on the beach. Spain is nice. Don't flame it. It was nice.
Starting point is 00:36:43 It was really nice. Anyway. You know what sips shout out to Spain shout out don't flame Spain uno shout out
Starting point is 00:36:51 a la Spano there you go what's the fucking search term in Spain pflex look it up anal right
Starting point is 00:36:58 straight away what do you think the biggest one in Italy is have a think think about cultural stuff it's not priests or anything like that. Pasta, like pizza. Think about the Italian mentality when it comes to women.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Hairy. Banano in Mamma Mia. It's MILF. Oh, right. MILF. Of course it would be. Banano in Mamma Mia. Yes. it's milf oh right milf of course it would be banana banana in mamma mia
Starting point is 00:37:28 yes banana please tell me is that put the banana in the mamma mia is it is it milfs
Starting point is 00:37:35 it's milfs is it I can't believe it I love it I love it I love milfs of course it is mamma mia
Starting point is 00:37:41 of course it is that's a really 90s term as well isn't it from American Pie fucking milfs it is. Mamma mia. Of course it is. That's a really 90s term as well, isn't it? From American Pie. Fucking MILFs. It is. Fucking MILF, dude. First break break with MILFs.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Fuck yeah, dude. It's fucking. Yeah. As I've gotten older, I've found that the MILF porn is definitely more attractive to me to watch than it was when I was a younger man. Right. Because, you know, why would I want to have sex with a milk when I'm 20? Well, this is why I think that
Starting point is 00:38:07 the kids are watching the sister stuff, man. I don't know if that's it. I'm just wondering, because I'm so confused. I find that incredibly repulsive, the whole idea that it could even be vaguely incestual. Right, but first of all, she's a step-sister.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Step-sister. You're not related by blood. I would assume it's like, because here's the thing, divorce is so big in America, right? Still not cool. I agree. I'm just trying to think of the logic behind it. There's a lot of divorces in America, a lot of broken families and stuff like that. It's a real modern thing.
Starting point is 00:38:38 So all these kids, like, you know, his side of the family is broken up. His dad remarries. And now the woman he's remarried also has a child from a previous relationship, a daughter. So now you're stuck in a house with this hot teenage girl. And of course now she's technically your sister, so you can't fancy her.
Starting point is 00:38:55 So they go to the internet. That's all I'm saying. It's the forbidden fruit. Yeah, the forbidden fruit. I think maybe that's it. I'm just trying to rationalize it because I find I don't like the idea that all those people out there,
Starting point is 00:39:05 that search term, I can understand the pervs, all the nerds, like Overwatch. That's the other one as well. Obviously, that's largely played by kids and stuff like this. And it's like hentai. I think it's fine. But I think it's an idea that so many people are kind of into something repulsive. I'm just trying to rationalize it and say, okay, where where is this coming from and the answer is the people who control the internet that's right teenagers i i don't know if uh it is teenagers watching all the porn in all honesty
Starting point is 00:39:34 you don't know i don't think there's definitely a lot of teenagers watching porn but i think i feel like there's lots of uh lots of older dudes watching it too i would say that it's mostly dudes i know that like a lot of people are like oh women watch porn too but i think it's got to be majority consumed by dudes right well in nepal it's almost all women right wow there's like five people in nepal that actually have the internet so but in the uh in in europe and america um and and the whole of russia australia a lot of south america it's actually 26 of the viewership is female or just just slightly under that 20 20 to 26 but in uh parts of south america in brazil and a lot of africa and the whole of india and china and all that area and greenland it's above average a lot of Africa, and the whole of India and China and all that area, and Greenland, it's above average.
Starting point is 00:40:26 A lot of women watching porn. So, oh, it's a sushi restaurant, right? Yeah, this is more interesting than porn, for sure. Often abroad, they have a very laissez-faire attitude towards if you're a vegetarian or a vegan, okay? You can tell them, and they'll usually be able to give you something. But I'm really more of a, when I'm on holiday, I just don't want to not die of nuts. Like I had a couple of times when I actually did have
Starting point is 00:40:51 allergic reactions to nuts. Like there was a thing where a guy brought me a smoothie and it was like, I had like a banana, strawberry, and I think it was like avocado or something smoothie, right? And I was like, okay, that sounds weird, but I'll have'll have it sure and so i drank it and then i started to get really itchy and i know i knew immediately i'd eaten some nuts and i couldn't figure out what it was it turned out that he'd used walnut milk in it and i was like the fuck is walnut milk like where did you even get that from he just said nut milk he just jizzed on it that's all that i think i think he basically i think i think he it was just milk and he put i think he put nuts in it walnuts in it just in the smoothie just hadn't told me except it was one time and then there's another time like so what happened did you break out in
Starting point is 00:41:31 hives and stuff or what yeah well yeah a little bit i got really get really itchy throat it's like it's like slightly awkward feeling it's like really like heartburn and stuff anyway it was horrible but they must have nut allergies in spain they do they do but they have a sort of more we don't give a fuck attitude to some to some lawyer up lewis a dietary requirement i can't believe you went to fucking spain on vacation any anyway so that's one thing that happened it happened again when i had some like churros or something and which i shouldn't really have anyway because they're like made with butter but you know fuck it it wasn't yeah i'm not one of these guys who's gonna not eat anything or just eat a fucking banana or be a bitch about it if someone like brings me food things like there's
Starting point is 00:42:12 this thing about um vegans which they say you know imagine like you're a vegan and you order the wrong food which happened to me like for example and um rather than not eat what they brought you and that thing being thrown in the bin, and then they're making a whole separate thing for me to eat, I'm just going to eat what they fucking give me, right? Because I guess my parents brought me up to not be a dick. If someone brings me some food and it's wrong, I'm going to be like, sure, I'll eat it or whatever. I'm not going to order more.
Starting point is 00:42:44 I'm not going to faff around. I'm usually going to be okay with it. Anyway, this thing happens. I was in a sushi restaurant, which I like. I like sushi because you can get vegetarian sushi. And Japanese food generally is very easy to go vegan on, right? Because it's just rice and vegetables or like, you know, you can get like edamame beans.
Starting point is 00:43:02 You know, you can get like a bunch of stuff, like just some leaves in some fucking soy sauce. It's a piece of piss, right? Usually for me. And so I ordered like this vegetarian sushi and it was like, you know, it was like a sushi section. So it was like, you know, I'd seen someone else on one of the other tables have it. Okay. And obviously I was ordering it in the menu in Spanish and I sort of pointed at it and said, I vaguely pointed out and said vegetarian sushi to the guy and he obviously didn't understand me and anyway what i got brought was which i found out when i got the bill later was actually the modern sushi right um now they were like so on the menu i remember there was like vegetarian sushi traditional sushi and modern
Starting point is 00:43:39 sushi and it used to be that i would eat like these sushi sort of selections right you go because we used to go out with humble and sometimes even still do um and they have like an omakase which means kind of chef's choice doesn't actually mean that so it means we'll cook but anyway it's the thing that they bring you a selection of whatever they the chef's recommendation you remember sips we went to vegas yeah and we had a vegas omakase which was in a sushi place there and they bought this incredible plate of sushi. Man, that was a fun trip. It was me, you, Duncan, Redacted, and Redacted were there. And it was a great, great, it was actually a really fun trip though, wasn't it?
Starting point is 00:44:18 Vegas. And you had a bowl of rice. Yeah, that's right. And we had loads of crazy stuff and you just had a bowl of rice. And it was funny as fuck. And we all laughed about it a lot of the time yeah but i actually remember that being a little bit gross okay now here's the thing like i remember going to sushi restaurants and all the time i really like the experience of eating but the fancier it is the grosser it gets okay and i've had this experience so many
Starting point is 00:44:46 fucking times i sort of came to a realization that the food they were bringing me was just unpleasant like the like and the same thing when you go to like a fancy french or english restaurant they bring you stuff like the most fancy food in the world okay let's just pick the two most expensive and fancy foods in the world caviar and let's just pick the two most expensive and fatty foods in the world. Caviar and oysters, both of which immediately turned my stomach just the thought. And even before I was like a vegetarian, I just, they're very strong, very fishy, like slimy. Like these are not positive like things, you know, give me a fucking bag of quavers anytime. I would rather have a fucking grab bag of Quavers and stick my fucking fist in there
Starting point is 00:45:26 than have to eat oysters or mussels or fucking caviar or also some of these things that they make at like posh restaurants, like sweet meats and things like this, which are like fucking basically the internal organs of fucking birds or some shit, like fucking deep fried in this fucking jism of a fucking autoland i mean exactly like like or like a century egg or like do you know me any of these things that are just just honestly like the and and it's a scale like i guess it must be this thing with like fancy food anyway i went i i i had this this this sushi modern sushi and for the life of me i've
Starting point is 00:46:07 had i've had sushi all over the world i've been to japan i've been to fucking vancouver i've been to san francisco these are all like pretty fancy places and i've been to some fancy places fancy people it's been nice i've had a nice time i've had a nice experience but their idea of bond sushi okay was like a little a little nigiri um rice roll thingy on and a fried egg on it just like like a breakfast that sounds good i'd go i'd have that so why not but two of those okay so imagine they brought you two tiny pieces of rice with two fried eggs right one on each and then i'm i shit you not the other two in this modern sushi selection were two more pieces of rice with two burgers. Just the burger patty on them.
Starting point is 00:46:50 I'm not even joking you. It was like, imagine this, what they present you with. They bring you this plate, two burgers and two eggs with two fucking sushi rolls under each of them. And I just looked at it and I thought, this is so far away from what I ordered. Like, I ordered the vegetarian sushi. If you'd bought me the traditional one with salmon and prawns
Starting point is 00:47:10 and stuff, I probably would have been all right. But like, you could not have like, fucking misfired more
Starting point is 00:47:17 on anything. It was wild. Oh man, so that's- So I've got a question. Yeah. Sips, what have you got against spain no nothing
Starting point is 00:47:26 i was just joking around okay absolutely nothing in fact i'm going i'm going uh i'm not i'm lying but um okay but you went to barcelona relatively recently no i didn't first thing oh didn't you i thought you were gonna say like oh you know because your first the first thought when you think of british people going to spain is they're to go to like one of the big resorts with all the gammon people and just sit there getting pink and then drinking at the Irish pub and having a fry up. I get it. But that would be like saying that if you came on holiday to Britain, you're just going to go to Blackpool.
Starting point is 00:47:58 You know what I mean? Yeah, which a lot of people do. Why would you? What really set it off for me, this sushi, was that they just handed me a knife and fork as well. They put the plate down and handed me a knife and fork. And I was like, what am I looking at here? You know what I mean? I feel like they just got it so fucking wrong.
Starting point is 00:48:14 The Lewis rage. Yeah, I can imagine that too. I could just picture it in my head. I just sort of looked up at it. I was so stunned. I couldn't process it. Hey, I'm having a laugh with you. I was so stunned. I couldn't process it. It was... Hey, I'm having a laugh with you.
Starting point is 00:48:29 It floored me. It was like one of those times where I laughed in disbelief, right? And sometimes I was watching this thing on fucking Netflix. I watch a lot of these criminal things, right? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. And I get this guy and a lot of the things that a lot a lot the ones that i watch are like the real the real life ones like i was watching this thing about john dead damn you call it john dadani yeah i watched that that was really on netflix about so he was basically the very last
Starting point is 00:48:58 kind of nazi oh yeah i wanted to watch that actually do it it's really good i was gonna watch i was gonna watch it i was like i my i was i can't speak it's so emotional no i was gonna watch it okay i like the look of it i turned on i turned on netflix one night and i saw that and i was like holy shit this looks pretty good so i went to my wife and i said look at this this looks pretty pretty good right and she took one look at it and she's like, I'm fucking, I'm fucking sick of Nazis. And I said, all right.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Yeah. And she's like, yeah, she's like, I, it's too heavy. I just want to watch something light. You know,
Starting point is 00:49:36 I'm sick. I'm sick. I'm sick of all these Nazis. And, and I just sort of did like a quick mental inventory. It was like, okay, what have we watched recently?
Starting point is 00:49:43 That's had no nothing. And so I made the joke i was like oh yeah i know you must be exhausted because of all like the fucking nazi movies we've been watching recently and then she was just like ha ha very funny i know you know i'm trying to make a point that i don't want to just like my whole life to be watching all of this heavy shit all the time you know like i think she just didn't feel in the mood and fair enough, some light relief from time to time. And I completely get, I,
Starting point is 00:50:10 I find it very hard to find things to watch with other people. You know, we certainly, when you like, when like, you know, tips you're coming over tonight, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:17 and if we were trying to watch something on Netflix, it would be like, have you seen this? Oh yeah, I watched that. It was good. I was like, okay,
Starting point is 00:50:22 have you seen this? And you're like, uh, no, no, no. Well, I have, it's quite good. And Jeremy, you'll go through between you. You I watched that. It was good. I was like, okay, have you seen this? And you're like, no. And I'm like, well, I have.
Starting point is 00:50:25 It's quite good. And do you know what I mean? You'll go through it. Between you, you'll find absolutely fuck all to watch. But no, it's basically this thing where he is, this American guy who lived in America as like an auto worker for like 30 years in relative peace and tranquility and got a family who loved him and stuff.
Starting point is 00:50:43 And then they found out from this sort of... He's Ukrainian. So he was part of that, this sort of, when the Nazis went through, the German army went through Ukraine and everything, they recruited a bunch of people.
Starting point is 00:50:52 They recruited some young men. You want to join the SS and kill Jews? And they were like, yeah, like they found plenty of Ukrainians who were nicely anti-Semitic, rolled them straight into
Starting point is 00:51:00 the SS death machine, right? So this guy, Dadyuk, was one of them, but his paperwork was all fucked up. He claimed he he'd never been there but his story didn't make sense like it just did not add up yeah and all these guys these these israelis who were like survivors of the holocaust were like that is the fucking guy i swear to god but then their stories because these were all guys you know like this story started to fall apart a little bit and they
Starting point is 00:51:24 didn't quite add up they said what do you mean how did you get there like one of the guys they asked him how did you get from wherever it was in poland to america to florida and he said we took the train and they were like oh the guy's fucking senile like we can't trust his opinion now on anything but that's not i don't think i mean especially if you've ever he couldn't remember the name of his son who died but if you've ever known science senile people let alone they will remember shit from 80 years ago yes they will not remember shit from 80 minutes ago that is so right there i think dismissing his evidence was bullshit um it's a it is a very moving documentary it's very moving it's very difficult when it's very much you swing back and forth in the documentary as well because it's very much you're on his side for a bit and then you're
Starting point is 00:52:09 not on his side then you're on his side again you're not on his side and you could see how the people who were doing the trial had such difficulty like weighing up like what to do and whether or not he was guilty but also also all the political implications. Yeah, this huge public pressure. I mean, this is a Nazi in Israel on trial, which is a triumph in itself. And then it's like, we've got to find this guy guilty, but we've also got to do the right thing. Like if we let him go and say,
Starting point is 00:52:36 oh, well, you know, we can't be sure. It's like, what the fuck? Like it was really, it's very, very, very interesting. One of the things that I saw a lot of in that documentary, and also I see of a lot of other times, is people thinking they know and can read other people by looking in their eyes and reading their body language. So, for example, there's these moments where people see him say something
Starting point is 00:53:00 absolutely ridiculous on the witness stand, and he smiles smiles right he like and you can tell like it's almost him like being in disbelief you know or something like this or like laughing at the ludicrousness of what they've accused him of or said he did or or he just he just says you know that you're a liar you know like and but some people are thinking oh well you know he's what he's smiling about the Holocaust, you know, like, and I think that that's the problem. Like people don't react the way you think they should or are going to react. And it's, it's crazy. Like I read this Malcolm Gladwell thing about how, how strangers react and stuff.
Starting point is 00:53:38 When you put them under, you ask them to tell the truth or lie about something that they've done or not done. And you can't often can't tell. You could look someone in the eyes and you've got a 50-50 chance. But you think you have an 80-20. People think they know what other people are thinking. I mean, the other problem is there are a lot of things that people think innately look like lying, but are actually just nerves telling the truth. So, for example, one of the
Starting point is 00:54:05 things people think is that if you can't meet someone's gaze and you're sort of looking around when you're talking that you're probably lying. But in fact, it's more likely when someone's lying, they're looking at your face really intently to see if the lie is working and to look for any sign that they can swing the conversation and convince you. And if they're losing you, then they can swap threads and try a different approach. Like someone staring right at you is actually less honest than someone sort of who's just looking around and talking normally.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Because think about when you have a conversation with someone and you're being honest, you're just chatting. How often do you just stare right at them? I actually find that quite disconcerting. Yeah, I don't. I rarely make like heavy eye contact with anyone when I'm talking to them. Like, it's just uncomfortable, right?
Starting point is 00:54:46 I mean, it's like the only way you do it is if you are flirting with someone. Or, you know, I mean, I know when I met Sips up in Bristol last time, he was looking deep into my eyes. Like, you know, we couldn't tear our gaze off each other, just undressing him with my eyes. And he was doing the same. It was a wonderful night. That was different. I guess it's, yeah. We shouldn't have mentioned that in public, actually.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Sorry. Sorry, Sips. I know you would like like lewis's holiday in spain you wanted to keep it private but it's out there now yeah yeah it is so i i just guess like what i'm saying is that learning this has made me profound not profoundly but more uncomfortable about i think if you if i didn't know about it and i sort of thought i knew what i was doing like i feel like also there's this this real problem of stubborn major bed and you have to sleep with it when it was these old guys and they identified this guy you're not meant to fuck your bed he's a fucking bed fucker sips there's like he's like the bike fuckers and the pavement fuckers and now you got lewis the bed, when you don't have a foreskin, you know, you can't do something.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Oh, my God. Fuck a bed. Jesus. Lube it up. Lube it up, kids. Don't forget. If you're going to fuck a bed, lube it up. Get a Huggies dry night mattress protector thing on there and just fuck your bed.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Okay. Go for it. That's a good idea. Lube up and fuck your bed. But I guess what I'm saying is that these certainly, like in the documentary, it was that these judges of people were very much locked in on their decision. You know, they like, you see often when someone like a sheriff is convinced that some guy did it
Starting point is 00:56:15 and then evidence comes out that he didn't do it, but he sticks with the story. He's like, I still think you did it. And then more evidence comes out and he's like, yep, still think you did it. I was right the whole time. It's like, well, he definitely didn't do it. I still think the whole time. It's like, well, he definitely didn't do it. I still think you did it.
Starting point is 00:56:26 It's like, well, he didn't though, because there's camera work of him not doing it. I still think you did it. It's like, they can't, and no one criticizes that person for being ignorant. They're like, well, good for him. He stuck to his guns. No, fuck that guy.
Starting point is 00:56:38 He's a fucking ignorant prick. He should be willing to change his mind. Sorry about that. But I feel very strongly about that. Did you spit when you said that? He did. He dribbled to change his mind. Sorry about that. But I feel very strongly about that. Did you spit when you said that? He did. He dribbled. You could tell.
Starting point is 00:56:49 Oh, my God. I did. I did spit. I was angry. But these things make your emotions run high. Because there's people's lives we're talking about, you know, at the end of the day. You know, I think that that's the thing, isn't it? Like, we have in the same documentary, it sort of talks about how so many of these Nazis were given shelter in
Starting point is 00:57:07 America because they were useful, because they knew about rockets or technology. Some of these were terrible criminals who were just given, being like, oh yeah, you're useful to us, so forget about all that Nazi stuff. You're American now. Just don't do any killing. Just don't kill anybody. That was the interesting ending, was pointing out how many Nazis went to America. Because the thing is, post-World War II, the immediate threat was not the Nazis.
Starting point is 00:57:33 They'd lost. The immediate threat was the Soviets. So the Americans were like, well, if we don't get the Nazis out of there, the Soviets will, and we want them, because we know the next war is coming. In their mind, it was like, we need the next war is is coming like that in their mind it was like we need the rockets and there was a there was a mirror there that the nazis were you know
Starting point is 00:57:49 conquered the ukraine and took the ukraine's kill the jews and then the americans conquered the germans took the nazis to kill the soviets do you know i mean it's like it's such an obvious kind of nuts though i don't know hypocritical kind of behavior but you know we've we've certainly demonized um i think i think post-world war ii there was this desire that to rehabilitate you know the nazis because because previous to that you know it was like well what are we going to do we can't kill all can't kill everyone in the country you know we have to we've got all these defeated nazis we have to denazify them. But, you know, it felt like, you know,
Starting point is 00:58:30 taking a 91-year-old man and, you know... It's closure, though, isn't it? I mean, what the dude did, does he deserve to be rehabilitated? It's a massive, massive question. And I can understand why you would want justice. There's so many little factors in there. And, you know, so it was just so interesting. Fuck Nazis, man. I really... love nazis i'm not saying yeah i'm not saying it's
Starting point is 00:58:49 good i just think there's so many viewpoints to be had and the more i see all the viewpoints the more i see all the questions the more it kind of makes me like kind of i don't know a little bit i don't envy the judges you have to make these decisions you know no and then stick to their guns afterwards too because what's these because it's obviously interviewed envy the judges who have to make these decisions, you know. And then stick to their guns afterwards, too. Because what's these, because it's obvious they interviewed all the judges from the original trial. And they're all like fucking 85, 90 years old now. And they were all sticking to their guns. You know, they're all very much like, we're confident we made the right decision.
Starting point is 00:59:17 You know, he definitely did this, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, well, you can't ever say for sure, can you? You know, but they seem to feel like they did have to. Maybe that's part of the justice system, that you have to have this closure, this idea that once you're declared guilty, the mind is, the thing is set to rest. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:59:39 It's funny, isn't it? Anyway, sorry about that. I've got to watch that. Yeah, it's worth watching. Yeah, I'm going to watch the crap out of that one. And then I'm going to come back, Lewis, with some of my own points of view that are going to directly...
Starting point is 00:59:52 Sorry to end it on a bit of a downer. Guys didn't mean to... That's the way it goes sometimes. The Tri-Force Podcast is not a road... There's no roadmap. No, no. We just get in the car and drive. And don't worry.
Starting point is 01:00:01 In terms of ratios and stuff, we talked a lot about shitting and porn today too. Yeah. So we went there early. Quite often, that's our final destination. It balances out. So don't worry about it. Normally, that's the way we end up.
Starting point is 01:00:14 We end up in poop and porn town. Yeah. As it is. I'm going to go pop out. I'm going to pop out and get myself a grab bag. Lewis is popping out. I'm going to play the piccolo. Wow.
Starting point is 01:00:24 What even is that? It's a Robocop. It's the Robocop music. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, man. What a movie. I know. Christmas movie.
Starting point is 01:00:37 That's a Christmas movie. I especially like the festive scene where the man drives the truck directly into the vat of toxic waste and his face starts yeah that's my favorite great moment that's when i know christmas is just around the corner when that man's face is melting in front of my very eyes i'm like best bit is when the other guy drives into him and he just smashes him into liquid. Yes. I love that bit. I love that bit too. That's what I know. It must be Christmas Eve and the fire is crackling, Robocop is on.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Hell yeah. That's what it is. All right. Thanks, everybody. We'll see you next week. Bye. Thanks. Goodbye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.